Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #703 - Jordan Belfort

Episode Date: July 22, 2019

Jordan Belfort, a salesman, motivational speaker, and author of two books including "The Wolf of Wall Street," which was adapted into a movie by Martin Scorsese and Leonardo DiCaprio, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: DollarShaveClub.com -  get your ultimate starter set for only $5 with free shipping at dollarshaveclub.com/church   ForHims- Go to ForHims.com/church to get your first month for just $5 while supplies last. 

What's that guy that killed the fucking people? Jim Jones. This Jones made these. And he goes, be careful with him. And my buddy ate two of them and went to see the B-52s. And he kept dropping glasses because your motor skills. Oh my god, yeah. Look, oh my god, people forget that.

And all of a sudden, I'll never forget yelling at the bartender like, how many fucking glasses are you going to give this fucking moron until he puts you out of business? I go, give him a plastic cup. And he goes, I'm out of him. He goes, look at everybody. Everybody was on ludes.

So that when you were, when they were ludes in the room and it kicked in every 15 minutes, you're here. Chh, chh, chh, chh, chh. He's unbelievable. Unbelievable. Greetings from podcastville. It's Monday, the 22nd of July. Get your shit together.

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After that, the restocked box ships, regular sized products at regular prices. But for today, get your ultimate starter set for $5 at DollarShaveClub.com slash church. Lee, kick this motherfucking mule. It's Monday, the 22nd of July. Jordan Belfort, the Christ Killer, and Uncle Joey Diaz. It's a beautiful day to be alive.

I was lying on the grass of Sunday morning of last. Oh, shit. You steal my motherfucking sunshine, Jordan Belfort. Great to have you on the show. Thank you. Thank you very much for taking the time out of your busy schedule. I know you're doing the talks and the whole thing.

I have a lot of interesting people that come through here. You're a very interesting cat. The beauty of it is that you and I come from the same kind of savagery. You said something when we were talking. You said that we're talking about going to prison. And you said the main thing I wanted to hear. You said, I always knew I can make money.

Let me ask you a personal question. Did you have a paper route as a child? Of course. Again, America, you think I'm fucking lying to you, motherfuckers, to learn how to, if you didn't have a paper route, shoot yourself in the fucking head. Of course, that was part of my stories.

My first thing was going out door to door, knocking on doors to deliver papers. I was eight years old, absolutely. And how long did you deliver papers? So what happened was I did it for two years. My mom was so obsessed with growing this paper out. My mom made me sell it to someone else. So I had to sell it to the upstairs name of like,

me and my first profit, $75. I thought it was the richest kid in town, right? So we're tired at the age of 10. But then in last long, I was at 11, I started shoveling driveways up the snows. Remember you used to fucking snow so much back in there, right? Before Al Gore invented global warming, right?

You used to snow like crazy. And you just went out with a shovel. Shit, knocking on people's doors, 20 bucks a driveway. And if I pushed you out, that's another 10. Yeah. And if you didn't fucking tip us, we're coming back with 22 shovels in the whole neighborhood.

Bury you like it's fucking Siberia. They won't get your car out to 2,080 and shit. Good to fucking have you on. I could tell from your interviews and just reading a lot about your feet when the book came out that the main thing is you're a fucking salesman. I am a salesman.

We sell from beginning to end. You know, that Pacino movie is gonna always be selling. That is what we do. I sell in my sleep. I sell in, cause nothing happens until you start selling. Selling is everything. You're just a regular fucking Momo. You know what I'm saying?

Until you go. I think people don't realize they think selling is just a salesman. It's the furthest thing from the truth. You know, just doesn't matter what you do, business or personal, you're always trying to get your ideas, your points across to people.

Yeah, it's communication call, right? Without the ability to communicate what's on your mind in an effective way, you're going through life like barely alive. That's what I think. What was the job that made you realize you were a real salesman? Like that you could sell whatever the fuck you had.

The what meet and see food door to door was the first real big sales job where I would go knocking on doors, cold calling home to home, business to business and selling them boxes of frozen meat and fish. I just broke the company record the first day by a country mile and never looked back. No, what was the company record?

If you don't mind me. So they were averaging like five boxes per day. My first day, they gave me 35 boxes of meat in the truck. I sold all 35 boxes. I almost sold one woman in the truck. All right, and that first week I sold 240 boxes. I think the average production was like 30 for the car. I blew away the company record.

How long did you sell meat for? So I worked for this guy for about four weeks and then I started my own meat company because I bought myself for these mooks for, right? It's like, you know, they have a ton. There was no food in the freezer. So I started my, because before that, I sold ISIS blank at the Blanket on Jones Beach.

That's amazing. I heard that. But that wasn't a sale. That was just hard. That was hard work. That wasn't really sales. You know what I'm saying? So when you asked about what was the first sales job, it was really meat and seafood, right?

Let's grab something real quick. So you would wake up in the morning. Go to the Greek distributor Astoria Queens, right? Load up four barrels, four cools, white styrofoam cools with- Cherry lemon. Cherry lemon, yeah, lemon ice cream, right? Lemon.

And marinos. Chipwiches, Fledgicles, Milky Way Snickers. Fully loaded, cooler, cost me 22 bucks. I blow it out an hour for 130 bucks. So for a day at 19, let me tell you, 1978. That's a lot of- How old were you? 16.

16. Yeah. Didn't give a fuck. Didn't give a fuck. I was amazing. It was, you know, it was amazing. I'll tell you what, it wasn't the girls. It was amazing.

It was that you got singles. So yeah, how much $400 of singles is? Looks like a fuck. It's like a million dollars. That was the best part of it. When you woke up in the morning, do you think of pussy or making money for it? Everything I've done was a pussy in my life.

Every single thing. When you open your eyes and say, God, thank you for giving me another fucking day. It's time to make money. Yeah. Fuck somebody in the ass. It's time to make money so I can fuck someone in the ass. Beautiful.

That's it. I'll be honest with you. But I'm a bit older now. Like I don't quite know. I got a loving, lovely wife who's the best ever, right? I've been married 20. As a kid, but yes, that was my every- I loved women since I was-

I love women. When I was five years old, I still have to scar to prove it. I was being chased by some little girl at nursery and I ran into a brick wall just like that and cracked open my 16 stitches over my eye. All right, and ever since then it's been downhill. You know, you made a quote that I don't quote you,

but I try to portray it as much as I can and tell people that greed is not good. Right. Ambition is good, but passion. Yeah. Passion. Well, when you were selling meat and beef, would you do it?

I mean, you just love it. You love getting up in the morning and that fucking challenge of closing a motherfucker, that challenge of the guy going, I'm not interested. Hold on, wait, let me, let me, how many lobster tails do you eat a month? I'm gonna wait, you know. That fucking challenge of opening that fucking door.

You know, I tell you every day, Lee, call that chick, tell her to suck your dick. She's got a boyfriend. Practice. You know what it was, I'll tell you the first. Practice, keep going, practice. She'll keep saying no, but now you keep getting better at it.

Listen, come over and suck my dick. I can't, I have a boyfriend. Just come over for a little while. We'll look at pictures, I'll show you pictures of pugs. Whatever, you know, whatever. I've always been self. Well, let's see, I have a boyfriend that's very different, they're not interested.

Right. There you go. Listen, my job was always, when I first got on the phones, I was taught to, if they're gonna buy from you, either they're gonna die, change their fucking number, or shoot themselves, but they're gonna buy from you.

And you, at first when you start selling, you get discouraged when somebody hangs up on you. My dick gets hard when a motherfucker hangs up on me. That's the guy I'm gonna sell. I'm gonna call him till he dies, jumps off a building, or fucking, or buys. I got a lot of shit for that. I was 23, four came out.

I made this statement, I said, you don't fucking hang up that phone till the customer buys or dies, and it got printed in Forbes magazine, and it was all, it was really, I mean, it was, I got a lot of shit for that. Before, it was a magazine for greedy fucking white people that wanna make money.

So to say that fucking statement, it's the truth. I know, right? When you go in to sell anything, shoes, my sister-in-law called me last Tuesday, two weeks ago, and she's like, I'm getting a job. Now, my sister-in-law and her daughter, don't get confused with that Southern draw. Take it so, my niece is the number one salesman

and those people that come to your house with the vacuums. Kirby. Well, no, the other ones. Electro, oh, yeah. When your house burns down here, or your grandmother had cancer and she dies, they gotta clean the walls. She'll come over and sell you a paint job.

Like, my niece got a Southern draw, and she puts a bun on, not the biggest tits. And she rip your eyeballs out. But she'll rip your fucking eyeballs out. And now the mother is out there in the workforce and she's making appointments for a fucking insurance. Nothing more deadly than mother-daughter team.

So she's making appointments, so she called me and she's like, I'm having apartment work. Can you help me out? I call her, what's that fucking guy that we all learn from? What's the salesman, the first one? Zig Zigla?

Zig Zigla. He's great. Zig Zigla, junior? Zig Zigla was great. Oh, Zig Zigla was the mother fucker's mother fucker. He's great. So I call her Zig Zigla. Again, she's got the record of a ratio,

the appointment to close. She's breaking the records and appointments, but these fucking Gentiles are busting their balls. You gotta put a lot more action into your pitch. And I go, are you reading from the pitch? And she goes, yeah, I always read from the pitch and I add my own stuff. I said, and you're breaking the office record?

She goes, first month, they can't deal with me. She goes, I made one of the other girls quit. She thought she was hot shit and blah, blah, blah, blah. And I go, tell them to go fuck themselves. As long as you're selling, who gives a fuck what you do? There you go. That's my world. You gotta keep fucking selling.

That's what they teach you. The number one rule of a fucking boiler room or is you gonna call them till they hang up or they die or they buy, buy or die. Why do you think certain people are, like selling is natural for them? Cause selling is not natural for me. That makes me uncomfortable.

All right. The selling or communication, what makes you uncomfortable? You ought to people have to convince somebody of something? No, not even just convincing, but when they say no, like be like, okay, I don't want to bother them. Like the idea of selling till they either buy or die, that's... How do you become a good seller, brother?

I train salesman. Listen, I mean, hunger, hunger makes you become hungry. You know, listen, it starts with desire, pal, right? If you don't have the desire, then it's not for you. But if you have a desire, anyone can learn to close, but you have to want it. You have to see, listen, if you're not comp of that,

you know what my suggestion to you is don't be in sales, but still, but that being said, you still have to know how to get your point across as you move through the world, you live a disempowered life. So, you know, it's not, you don't want to convince someone of buying a fucking vacuum cleaner,

but what do you have to have about, you having problems getting laid? Well, there you go. I mean, what knows what it is? You have to convince people of things every fucking day in negotiation. The toughest seller ever closed was my wife. Seriously.

Right. It had to hunt her down. I was like a freaking, I was like almost close to a stalker with her, okay? And it was pretty close. It was like a fine line, you know what I'm saying? But the point is, is that, you know, it's not just, you think it's selling is,

he's talking hard sales, right? Selling is in everything. You gotta be a pastor selling your congregation. A lawyer selling a jury, a teacher selling the kids on the value of education, a mom and dad selling their kids on the value and making their bed. A comedian selling material.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's everything. Sales is everything. You know, you know, Terry Winter. Yes. Terry's a friend of mine. You wrote the script, right? Terry tells us how he broke into Hollywood

without his ability to communicate and sell and persuade. He would never been, and he's a brilliant guy. Here's what happens. Take 10 billion people with the same level of talent. You know who's going to win out? The guy who can communicate. Sell, explain his ability to close. So you get a, what's the value?

So I think you have a negative anchor towards selling. And you know, you can confuse that. If you don't want, think of it differently. Think of it as communicating effectively, right? Well, I'm not negative about it. I wish I was better at it. But you can get better at it. Well then, why do you think you guys,

it came so naturally to? Because some people are natural born closers. They're all like, for every Joey Diaz and Jordan Belfort, there's a million people who struggle with it. But the beauty is, is that you could teach anyone to become a successful salesperson, right? I'm not saying I'm going to make them into me or him, but I promise this, I can take any person that wants it

and make them good enough. So it doesn't hold them back in life. That's the point. Interesting. It's, I was supposed to hear about it at first. I didn't like it either. Listen, I think that I would be lying if I said that I love the rejection.

I don't think anyone likes rejection. But to me, I reframe it in my head as a game, all right? So the first day I went out, I was trained in that meat business. I watched the guy knock on 50 doors and strike out and the guy put his head down and lost his state of certainty. And I'll never forget that.

It really impacted me. And I would, for me, it was like, if I'm knocking on doors or picking no one's bite, I am just, I said, I am not going to fucking stop from my own personal fucking standard until I get someone. I know that, look at it this way, right? If I know my ratio, say, I know if I make 200 calls

and you know, over time you keep track, right? I make 200 calls a day. I'll close 10 people and just make it up a number, right? So every time someone says, no, I just made money. Cause I know what that's worth. If I get paid for nosy, yes, this doesn't matter. It's a numbers game. You understand?

I just made 12, thank you. I'm like, hey, thanks for fucking saying no. You just made 20 bucks off you. Doesn't matter who, if you said it's a numbers game sales. That's what people don't get. He'll say, oh, sales isn't numbers. Yes, it fucking is. You know, it's a numbers.

The more times you cast your part in the ocean, the more people you get to catch, so to speak, right? Now, obviously you have to also have to close the deal, right? Because the worst, what happens if you don't have to close, here's what happens to a lot of people, right? Is that if you can't, the worst thing for any human being is to try to play that numbers game. But even when you get someone who can, who will buy,

you can't fucking close them. Then what's the point of doing it? But when you have the power and you know, you possess the ability to close anyone who's closeable. That doesn't mean you close everyone. You close anyone who's closeable. You'll want to bang away, because you know every single time you pick up the phone,

where they say yes or you're making money. That's the point. I had a friend, you know, when we're all 18, everybody wants to go out and get a piece of chocha. And I had a friend, every time he went out, he got a piece of. Of course, right, yeah. That's a different, that's a ultimate. I mean, it would destroy the ultimate sale.

Everybody would go home with their head down, and this guy would always leave with some fucking skank that was ready to fuck. And the next day he'd show up with Polaroids and a lighter up his ass, you know, it was just. And he wasn't either probably the best looking guy, right? No. Yeah. It's unbelievable.

I know. It's not about that. This would be, in one night, well, enough is enough. Here I am, with a pocket of blow, quailudes. This, that, I can't close this fucking savage. But he's over there closing with a quarter ounce of coke, with a quarter gram of coke in his pocket. He's closing the hottest bitch in the bar.

And I started shadowing him. And he, what he, what would come out of his mouth was atrocities against Milanovic. What's that dude? It was like, they could have thrown him in jail next to fucking the worst people, but he didn't fuck around. And his percentage was higher.

When he got through with them, they fucked him because he let them know right from the start. And I would hear him, listen, let me ask you something. Yo, what are you talking to this fucking Jordan guy? What are you crazy? I got an ounce in my pocket. I put a rock in your asshole and suck it out. And their faces would turn pale.

And next thing you know, they would be getting their purses and leaving, or they would tell him he was a pig and walk away from him. And then all night, he would send them drinks and apologize to him. He had eight of them working at one time. So one of them was gonna go home with him. He would have three bitches.

And now all of them, the opening numbers game, all of them, he would tell them, I got a coke rock, I want to put on your clip. I want to put alcohol cells in your pussy and suck it all. Their faces would melt. But he didn't give a fuck. He was closing. He closed them at the bar.

They knew they were sucking his dick. There was no, let's go home and listen to Bert Backrack and drink and tell each other stories. No, we're coming on my house to fuck. And I started doing it the first year. It didn't work out too much. People called 911 and shit like that. But now my percentages went up.

And I don't mean to be rude. You know, when you're 24, that's what you're living for is to go out and pick up women and, you know, whatever, have a good time. But it was the same thing. It was, what would he would come out of his mouth was fucking and he needed a cocktail. So he was very shy, but he was American Indian.

Well, nothing's better than fucking quailer for that. We used to call them courage pills. Oh, please. Please, those things would sink in. They'd be tremendous. Hold on. You could do anything. Before we get to the guerrilla biscuits,

when you go to Hawaii and you learn Hawaiian Kempo, they'll teach you a punch, right? They'll say, okay, you're going to punch Lee in the head. But before they teach you how to punch him, they teach you how to strike him in the head with a Kali stick. Then they teach you how to stab him. The final move is the punch.

Okay, so you learn all three phases of that move. You went from selling door to door and the beach. And then you went from belly to belly sales. Right. And then you went into a boiler room. What was the difference now? Between those two? Yeah.

There's no difference. Well, I was shocked. Well, I was in the meat business and I had heard my business was going downhill, wasn't working out, right? Cause I made a lot of mistakes and he wasn't doing it. I was just my first time as an entrepreneur. And what happened was my friend had said, oh, I heard people are making money on Wall Street

and he wanted to get a job there. What year is this? This is 1986. And what happened was he said to me, yeah, I said, well, what do they do? He goes, they get wealthy people give, I didn't know I was from a poor family, right? You have wealthy people to give them money.

And I assumed, so what do you go door to door? I assumed you'd be knocking on people's doors as I was trained in door to door sales. He's like, no, no, they call on the phone. I'm like, how's that? I couldn't imagine it when I heard about it. I was like, what do you mean you use call? He goes, yeah, you call on the phone and they send money.

I was like, no fucking way. I was like, yeah, that was like a very casual conversation. Anyway, that was it. Then, you know, our business went down and my car got repossessed and I heard a story about a kid in the local area. I grew up beside Queens, right? Who was allegedly making a million bucks a year on Wall Street

and he was like the fucking door grower. I'm like, that guy's making a million dollars a year. And about a week later, I ran into the guy, pulled up in a Ferrari and I sued with a hot chick. I'm like, holy fuck, I want the chick to suit the fucking car. And I said, Michael, what do you do? He goes, oh, I made a, you know,

a broker will always tell you what they made. I made a million two last year. I'll make two million. And I said to myself, well, you probably said to yourself, that fucker can make a million, I'll make 10. That's what I said to myself. And I went down to Wall Street the next day and answered and added a big firm.

They were hiring LF World Child and I sold myself a job. And then when I, that was the first time I walked into a Wall Street border. But I could not believe, first of all, the language, the cursing, the shit, fuck, I mean, it was unbelievable. And also they were actually calling people up randomly from all over the country

that they never met before. And on a phone call, people would send in a million dollars. It was the most shocking thing to me that it was suspension of discipline. I would not have believed it if I didn't see it with my own eyes. That was how it was going on. So when I first saw that, I was like, for a moment,

I said, well, oh, wow, I bet it'll be better, even door to door. But then I saw the power of the numbers you can hit on a telephone. And then it hit me and I watched these guys do it. And I was very fortunate. And I was sitting, it was my desk part, the guy was training me,

was a really good salesman, this guy, right? Mark Hanna. And he played by Matthew McConaughey in the movie. And I heard him say, like, holy, that guy's good. And I hear that guy sucks, right? And then I had this ability, I knew it. So I was so sure I was gonna break the records on Wall Street as a broker.

And then my first day was Black Monday when the market crashed. November 17th. October 19th, 1987, yeah, yeah. And went down 508 points, the firm shut down. And that was the beginning of everything. So. Now, when did you, once the firm shut down,

when did you go start selling in a boiler room? So, well, theoretically, I mean, that was a boiler room. I was just, it was a prestigious firm with all phones in one room. It's no difference. It was just the same thing. They were doing the exact same thing as any other phone-based room,

except they had a fancy name behind them. But it was just no difference, right? So it was massive outgoing telemarketing. Lehman Brothers was doing it. Massive outgoing telemarketing from one location, right? How many guys on one room? It was 51 when I was in. 50 guys.

Yellen Screamin'. Yellen Screamin' goin' wild. Same exact shit, right? And then I went and I, so when they shut down, I answered it at first. I left the center of my book, because you know, I didn't have to write it all, right? There was, I went to another firm

for a few days in Jersey. Your guy, the guy you know. I walked into this place. I was like, what the fuck? It was like a mob on fucking wall. And I worked there for three days and I left. They heard me pitch once. And they were so astonished

that when I opened up my mouth to sell, because I was like eight billion times better than any guy in the room. They were like, they made me stop. It's true story made me, I'll tell you the stock. I still have some stupid company called Panther Mountain Water Park up in the fucking great Gorge area.

It didn't even exist probably, all right? And I, they were just taking this thing public and it was a penny stock, right? And I wrote this script and started selling. The guy made me stop. And he goes, everyone listen to how this guy sells. And the next day I left, I couldn't tell. I knew something was wrong.

It was really fucking nuts, right? And I went to work at a small Long Island firm called the Investor Center there. And that was where I walked, they heard me pitch in the same as you saw in the movie. Same thing. They were like, what the fuck are you doing? I had a certain way of selling, right?

And the rest is history. Now I'll slow it down if you want, but then you know, it's the movies pretty accurate like that. Yeah. Now how long did it take you to get a series seven? I already had my series seven because when I worked at Rothschild, I was studying,

I worked for six months cold calling and I had my series seven, yeah. What'd you think about cold calling? Like yellow? It was frustrating. Well, I was cold calling of what are called DNVs, Dunham Bradstreet leads, who just lists of, you know, names of people or that had-

Who haven't invested already? No, no, business that owned businesses that would do it. Back then it was doing it excess of a million dollars in sales. So it was business owners, right? And you just cold call 300, make three to 400 dollars a day and back then, believe it or not, I couldn't even, I wasn't licensed.

And I had to say, hello, I missed the hand holding and passed the phone. So for me, that was like fucking Chinese water torture, you know, to like not be able to speak. And I would just listen to everyone else. And I was like, just running all the language in my house. Like, I can't wait to get this. I'm gonna fucking kill.

I knew it, you know? And then when the market crashed, it was like all my hopes and dreams were dashed and like a micro say, I couldn't believe it that day. That one, it was unreal. It really was unreal. It was the month, but the reason why I said November 17th, I'm sorry, is because I got arrested November 18th, 87

before the market crashed. And I was selling cars at that time. But where? I was selling cars in Boulder at a Subaru dealer. It was like stealing. Right. Okay, I went from detailing cars to selling cars. I took the bus and it was, that's when I became a salesman

because after that market crash, everything died. And there was only two people selling cars. It was me and this guy named Storman Norman Olet that was a fucking savage. He was in the halfway house at the time. I hadn't been arrested yet. And I still remember him telling me, do you see anything funny on my body?

And me going, no, why? And he would put a hot water bottle in his, he would Scotch tape his mother's douchebag goes hot water bottles, rubber ones, the rubber ones. And then he would have a valve and just the same thing would come out of his dick because he was snorting coke all day at the dealership. So he would put the fucking fake piss in there.

He would pay like 25 bucks for piss if you were clean. Like he would get it from, he finally talked this Christian guy. Like the Christian guy would tell him, no, no, I'm a Christian leave me alone. He finally put him together, this one piss. The guy was just a salesman. And that was the first time that I started looking at people

like what the fuck are these guys doing? But before that, there was a guy named Artie Pressler from the Bronx and he was a killer. He was a psychological salesman killer. You know, don't ever let the customer write down the credit app. You fill it out for them. I want them to tell you their life story.

So they get used to you fucking ask them creepy questions. He just had little fucking details. And I loved all those things. And yeah, I wanted to be an attorney, but this art, this thing of fucking selling had my dick by the balls. Now, interesting. Matthew McConaughey did another movie years ago

called One for the Money. I never saw it. It was about these guys, aka Stu Feiner out of Long Island and Mike Duffy that sell sports information on the phone. And it was Pacino and Matthew McConaughey. And their real name were the Slopes. I went to work for them out of Long Island. I worked for them.

Where in Long Island? I forget what part of Long Island they were from. They were from wherever Seinfeld was from. Siasit, they all went to the same high school. Siasit, Jericho High School, Siasit High School. Yeah, they all went to that same high school, whatever. There was something in the water over there because a lot of my guys came from Siasit.

Siasit, whatever the fuck. And they were phone salesmen that sold sports information. What year was this? This is, I got out of prison, 89. Massapiqua? Massapiqua. And I went to work for them from 89. That's when Stratton was on the surprises of them.

To 92 selling sports. That's my hate. That was the prime of Stratton. And we would call people, you know, Jordan, how you doing, Joey, Pete Pitello was my name. Pete Pitello, Colorado Sports Advisors. Well, how you making out in the game? And go fuck yourself.

Bam, call him back. Listen, stop it. Knock it off. You're fucking taking a beating, you're fucking. You know, sports betting's big now. Big now. Now I'm thinking of doing more things with the sports, because now that's why.

And the only reason why they're making it huge is so you could go back to work, but I bet you guys are gonna turn them into hedge funds. That's what they're doing with sports gambling, right? Did you hear that? No. I bet they're gonna put them, New York is next. So they could do hedge fund gambling.

So you don't even know who you're gambling on. They place the bets for you or some shit. That's where they're going with legalized gambling. But to make a long story short, I was not approached directly. There was a chitter chatter going on in my hometown about a guy who was making a million dollars a month selling stocks.

I knew about stocks, how I knew about pornos. I knew nothing. I knew nothing. And I kept hearing the little jingle. I'm selling coke, I'm robbing drug dealers. I'm putting what I keep hearing the jingle of these guys that are making money, but now they had all opened the stride office in Miami.

I go to Colorado and I'm hearing fucking horror stories. 10 guys are going down there at a time and eight are coming back. Two of them, they weren't ever rehabs then. You just wouldn't talk to your priest. Man, you know, or the rabbi, you know. I got a devil inside of me. I can't stop snorting coke and eating quail eggs.

Nobody knew about rehab. The worst part is what you do when you're high on coke and the acts that you commit to the presexual, the rabbi, is what you do to your priest for. Like I can't snort coke and do comedy, but you give me a line of coke and you give me a pitch and you give me a bunch of phone cards.

Oh, I'll be snorting and calling people through the morning. How you doing? Have you heard of the Kennedy assassination? I mean, I will get them going on topics and then sell them. Then come back to the finger in the air. So you get your series sevens license.

When does the money start piling in? This is 87 now. 88. So the market crashes, right? I started in 88 as a broker for this company and I invested cents. I broke the record straight away. How much money are we making?

Fact started right, no, I'm sure. 70,000, 8,000 a month in the beginning. Thousands of broker. And then after like the fifth, fourth month, I started my own firm. So about six months in. So I was approached after 30 days to start to work by a guy who said,

hey, you're the best salesman. I've ever heard best trainer of salesmen. So I was already helping him train some salespeople there and cause dude, let's go partners. And then he took it to see a lawyer in Great Neck, right? And I went with him and this, and to this lawyer and after the lawyer called us, you don't need this other fucking guy.

You know more than this guy. I already been in business and failed once. And when you fail, so you learn how to do business. I have really learned my lesson that how to start a business in Rumblin. So I made a decision to start my own brokerage firm when I was very young. And the beginning I was selling penny stocks, right?

To average moms and pops. Then I came up with an idea. And the idea I had was to cross what I'd seen on Wall Street with not penny, but $5 stock. So it was selling $5 stocks to the richest 1% of Americans. So what's happening was on Wall Street, they were called calling the rich people. And in these little firms like that,

you knew about like in Miami, right? They were calling average people with little or no money, but selling them 20 cents stocks. They didn't invest 500 bucks, right? So I'd watch guys bring in millions. So I came up with this idea of this middle ground of going up to the millionaires, but selling them $5 stocks.

And it worked so well when I, and what happens I invented a system for training salesmen called the straight line. And it allowed me to take all these young kids who couldn't close. So I was like, one guy, my junior partner Danny, who was it, you know, I trained, he was a great closer. The other guys could not close rich people.

I had 12 guys. I tried everything, didn't work. And when I came up with this new way of training people, had a close, it just was like, it was such a profound difference that I could take any person and make them into a killer sales person. And that was it.

Then the next month they made, I think probably four or five million bucks the next month. It went from like, it went so fast that I went from making a million dollars a year to making 50 million within six months. So how does it work? So for the people working for your firm, do you get a percentage of their commission?

So there's two ways that you make money, really three, but simply put, let's say a stock is trading at $6. Okay. Right. And the bid is five and the offer is six. That $1 is called the spread, right? So if a broker sells 10,000 shares at six, that's $60,000 and that $10,000 gap

is the potential commission. So you would split that 50, 50, you would keep five, the broker would keep five. But what the broker didn't know is I had the stock, I owned it at $2. So I made $3 below the bid. That was mine, 100% was mine. If I traded right.

So if I had a supply of stocks, the idea was how do you get a supply of stock cheap, right? So just because the stock, imagine you buy a million shares of stock, it's two and you hold it and the stock goes up to five. You got a $3 million potential profit and you have to be able to sell it. When I invented the straight line system,

I could get these young kids to sell to, they would call millionaires and they'd sound like geniuses and they could close them. So with that before that, they couldn't with the regular sales system. So that was like the sort of great equalizer. You're allowed them to be as powerful as the top Wall Street broker in terms of persuasion.

So once that happened, it just went crazy because all these kids who would have been working in 7-Eleven became master sales people and they were making millions a year and I was making a million a week. It was just crazy. And it just grew and grew and grew and it was fucking insane.

When did you start going personally crazy? When did, how old were you when you? 27, 26, 27. It was too much to ask. Yeah, yeah. Listen, I come from a really good family. My parents were amazing, you know, amazing people. It wasn't like I was raised that way in any stretch.

I was raised the opposite, you know? I think for me, it was that I went into my adulthood with a lot of like wounds from my adolescence that I said, if I just get rich, man, I'll have fucking, I started playing on every adolescent fantasy I ever had. And I was so good at closing and training others. As good as I was selling, I was even better at training others to close.

That was my real gift, even when selling, yeah, that was easy, but training others. And that, people sort of called me the king and I couldn't handle it. I was stupid. Like you start believing your own bullshit when you're young, right? I mean, now I'm older and wiser, hopefully.

And it just, you know, all of a sudden every girl wanted to fuck me and it just was, I was had her, it just, it was very difficult for me at 25 or 26 years old to deal with that much power. And also I think that, you know, what happens is a lot of people, you probably see this in Hollywood, right? Is that when you're on, when you're struggling to get rich, if you're not feeling good inside, you're like, okay,

well, it's okay, because, you know, I don't have what I want right now. When I get rich and have everything, they don't feel good. So you can make sense of insecurities. You can make sense of not feeling great about yourself. But what happens when you get everything you ever wanted in lifetimes of a thousand and you still feel like shit inside, then what do you do?

That's where the fucking real panic sets in. And then to enter coiloads cocaine and fucking massive amounts of eating, bed, pee, and ass. Cause it makes me into an animal when I do that. I'm a, I'm a jack-o-lan-fucking-eyed.

You, I'm the most normal, I really am. I'm, thank God I'm sober for 20 plus years, right? I love my wife to death. She's the best ever greatest woman in the world, right? You give me a fucking eight ball. God knows what the fuck I will do. I'll be in our fucking whorehouse eating and hoping to end the period.

Cause I'm fucking sick. And I, and by the way, anyone who's a bit of coke, I know what I'm talking about. It's not, I'm not crazy. You know it, Joey, right? It's crazy. It's something wrong with the drug. It makes you a sexual fucking deviant.

And I loved it. He knows. And I fucking loved it. I tell him all the time, punching chicks in the stomach, making them puke and making them swallow your condom. And when I was right, and I'm not on it, I don't, I don't have anything.

Making them puke. I don't have anything close to that compulsion. That compulsion doesn't exist in me. It does not. But when I do coke, it's like, it really, I don't know what the fuck it is. And I thought there was something wrong. He told me it was everyone else

is doing the same shit when they're on it. It's crazy. Like people are like getting tied up. No, it's fucking. Fall in the air and choke on women. I want to be choked. Smaller. Choke on me, Joey, beat me.

There was a chick, I used to snore coke with an aspen. I had to be 23. She was like 29. I would come on a table and she would, I would make it suck it through a straw. Like disgusting. I had a friend. He'd come on feet.

He'd pay hookers 10,000 a shit in a glass table while he could look underneath when he's on fucking. No day in the fucking life. I had a friend that came to me in 94. I looked at him straight in the face. I go, you still banging hookers? He goes, it's too dangerous out there. I make them jerk me off with their feet.

He wasn't. I couldn't, I couldn't understand that. He was driving. It makes perfect sense to me. He didn't miss a beat. That's why I knew he wasn't lying. Makes perfect sense. The, when did all that, what year did all that?

1996, it's a starter end. Start. Start. It started earnest in 1990. And how many years of madness was it? Seven. Money coming in. Seven.

Seven. Eight years of unlimited money. Eight years. You're just calling the guy to deliver a kilo. Eight years. Yes. You're just delivering the guy to call a kilo. Yes.

Why fuck around? I mean, you're just saying. I had a guy who's got it right from the airport. Pure right there. Yeah. At that time. But my big thing was Quailudes. I literally single-handedly cleaned out

every country of Quailudes, like pharmacy. We, you know, we would go, it's like, you know, every country has its own brand of Quailudes, right? So when the, when the U.S. made them illegal in the late 80s, no, the early, late 1970s, right? So when I was in college, they were illegal, but you still, they were gone. But you would get, they were further able to drug

for sleeping, you know, in the 70s, right? They made them illegal, but they swept and took a lot of the supply, but you still had them out there for like a few more years. Then by 84, most of the real ones were gone, but you could still get like, met the seals from Switzerland, Palin and Burma from Spain.

You'd get Norman Knox from Germany, Mandrake, some, I knew- What was the shit in Paris? They used to call them Paris Blues. You know, Paris 400s. What was that, the Quailudes? Yeah, Paris 100s. Yeah, they were, yeah.

In every type of Quailude has its own little formulation. So some of the, what's this here? What's this? Ha-ha, Quailude. To what, yeah. This can't be real though. No way. I'll tell you in a second.

This guy's got a fucking beard. There you go. What, I can't, I've got eyes. My eyes say, what does this say? Does this say Rora? It's Rora. That's still, when the FBI swarmed Cosby, I knew the agent.

He threw me the last three of them. Really? No, that's a, that's a, like a, what do you call those? Well, I like a Z-Bo. What do they call them? A placebo. A placebo.

What the fuck am I doing? Dude, you have my, I was like sweating. Oh my God. Oh yeah. Three of them. No, let me, let me listen. I would honestly, I'm sober for 20 years. I would take one right now.

Oh no. If you gave me a real Quailude, how my wife tied me up so I couldn't create any damage. Cause you know what I would get? I would get Phonitis. They call the Phonitis, cause I wanted to call everyone. I love you.

I love you. She unplugged all the phones in my house, my ex-wife. I love you, man. I love you. I love you. When I got this, there were three of them. Before my wife had the baby,

I ate one of them one Friday night. Just, just after they all passed out, I ate one and I was on so much reference show. I didn't even know what it was. You know, I didn't know what it worked. I love the bottle though. It's fucking classic. Yeah.

Look at the fucking bottle. Cheers. Take it to your office. This is fucking great. That's what I'm talking about. So what is this thing though? What's in there? It's a, it's a placebo, whatever.

Fuck. A fake one. Like a, look at it. But it's perfect. Really? It's a dummy, but it's perfect. Go give me 10 years of the gift. Thank you.

This is one of the nicest gifts I've gotten in 30 years. Please. This is a Rolex watch. I want this, Joey. I appreciate you taking the time to come in here. Awesome, by the way. Let me show it to everybody. Hold on.

This is vintage, by the way. So these, this label got me in deep trouble. It said, cause when I read, I had this experience with the caulk rashes. Right? I took, they were expired. So they were delayed views. And I fucking just like, you know, lost my shit.

You know? How many did, what's the most you ever did in one night? Well, I went through about. You didn't really do them in the daytime. I saw the watch the movie you do all the time. I would take four in the morning before my, I would get up at like six AM before my wife. So I could get my first high go up and down

before she fucking woke up. I got really bad. I was probably doing 22 a day, 22, 20. And you know what's so funny? How these fucking jamokes, huh? The opiate epidemic. What the fuck were you in 79? We were eating gorilla biscuits.

I still remember giving my buddy a quail and telling him, be careful. He's like, I got this, get a 10 speed. The next day I saw him with a fucking cat. Cracked her and it cracked up 10 speed. Hilarious. Hilarious. You know what it was?

You didn't real, you felt coordinated, right? You thought you had it together. You had it together. You did. And you'd be like, just fucking bouncing off walls. But what they would do is he breaking his arm. He must have really taken a fucking fall because it almost like turned you,

you got rubberized a bit. Like you could bounce off fucking walls. You wouldn't get hurt. That is a good, I'll tell you what. I remember in the long LA, New York, Lowell Express, right? On Sunday mornings, it was a club called Infinity. Remember that?

It was a fucking crazy nightclub back then with all mattress people fucking upstairs. It was just nuts. You would see lines of cars smashed up on the highway on Sunday morning. Everyone came on ludes thinking they could drive and just destroyed their fucking cars. Remember that?

When did you start feeling the heat? First, the FCC came at you? No, no. It was SEC. SEC, I'm sorry. SEC. SEC. SEC, yeah.

Securities. Exchange Commission. I got the early in like 90 through 94. And I settled with them. And then the FBI came in after and because of money, I'd smuggled the Switzerland. Now in the movie, you invite the feds over to your boat. Yeah, yeah.

Is that true? No. They just made, okay. Yeah. That was a good scene. No, it's a great scene. Yeah, yeah. That's something I would do.

They want it, because what happened? I wouldn't, I wouldn't take like, you just said it, phoneitis. You know. I'm the type of motherfucker who'd call the FBI office. How you doing? You're investigating me?

Come on down. The purpose of that scene was because, you know, the thing was that Coleman is a friend of mine. Now the agent's a friend of mine. He's a good guy. And we speak all the time, right? And back then we had this parallel. He chased me for like seven, eight years,

but we never, we never searched it. So it was not enough for the movie. It's much better if we, you get it? It was a meeting in the middle. So it may increase the tension. So. And then when did you get arrested? 1998, September.

They come to the house. The house. They came to my house. Not at all. They were incredibly respectful. To me, incredibly respectful. I was, I left the house with my daughter. So you want to go to blockbuster video?

I'm a blockbuster back then, right? And as I was pulling out, there was a car outside my gates. And there's some woman goes, excuse me, do you know where this road is? And I was like, no, no. And then another guy, I thought I was getting kidnapped. And she was, oh, stop now from the FBI.

And she was listening. You probably want to drive back in and drop your daughter home. I was like, oh, okay. Well, I appreciate that. And I went in, they just, they followed me in. They didn't pull any guns, nothing. They walked me in.

They said, listen, you know, you run to arrest and just come into your office. And I just walked in there and they just, they came at a lot of them. I was like, 10 of them in the house. They did not pull guns, nothing. What was your bail? 10 million.

How long did you sit inside? Two days. Then how long until you got sentenced? Oh, it was a long time. Two years. Were you broken that time? No, no, no. No, I wasn't broke, but there's nothing worse.

I rather have been broke and gone to jail the next day than the slow descent into fucking hell. That's the worst part of all. Like the worst part was that it took a few years. Cause you know, it doesn't happen quickly. You know, the wheels of justice, right? No, they tried to prosecute me quickly. That's very rare.

I kept playing with it. I kept playing with it, firing attorneys. Yeah. And it took a long time and that was like the slow descent into like, and yeah, you couldn't restart your life. And it was pretty, that was the, once I got out, it was like, it was just, you know, it was right back up. When did you realize you were going at one point?

You knew from day one, you were going what? Yeah, I knew it was going. What was your attorney telling you? I mean, there was no, You had to do some, you had to do some time, you know? But, you know, hope was your first offense, nonviolent, and so I figured I'd do a few years, you know? And, you know, we had this, you know, I got,

I got four years, but the deductions to the drug program to go through. And anyway, I'm a qualified for the drug program was me. Everyone was trying to get into that. I was like, they're like, I'm like uptailed major, right? So, so I went through the drug at 18 months off like that. Good behavior. And, and when I got out, you know, so when I,

I was very fortunate because as you, as you know, his friends sitting here, Tommy Chong was my bunk mate from Cheech and Chong. We, they put us in the same, we're in the same cell together. So when I got to jail on why I'm sitting with Tommy's an awesome dude, you should have him on your podcast. You came on. Oh, he's amazing.

He's really smart, right? Yeah, brilliant guy, right? So, and Tommy's like, we told each other stories and I had him rolling on the floor. And, you know, by the third night, I was like, dude, I thought you were full of shit, but my wife Googled you and it's all true. Because you got to write a book.

I was like, really? Cause like, you know, you don't think your own life is in something. Never. I was like, what do you mean my life's really? I thought everyone sunk yachts and crashed planes and did a billion drugs and made a lot of money. How crazy is that?

Nothing happened for me until I told my story. I know. I was cracking jokes, nothing was happening because I thought that everybody else had to deliver papers. I thought everybody else sold ice cream at the beach for 25 bucks. It was just, you know, I thought I was just a regular guy.

Me too. Well, I know, I was in regular. I know we both, we know we were insane, but I just, I guess, you know, when you're living it, you become dissensitized to your own sanity, right? I remember this, this, this moment in my life and probably 1996, when I was living in Old Brookville, beautiful at the Gold Coast,

nicest area in the world, right? Mansions everywhere, not a mansion. And then my wife in the car and we're like driving around and we're like, they must all do ludes, right? Everyone's doing ludes and coke. You don't think anyone could live, go through life sober when you're, when you're like that. Like I convinced myself everybody else

was doing what I was doing. And to think back at that moment now is pretty laughable, but that's what you do. So when Tommy said to me, you know, I've never heard of anyone living this sort of life like you've lived. I was like, that's a lot coming from Tommy Chong. So that gave me some, so I started writing

and Tommy would help me. He gave me a little couple of pointers and, and I fortunately was able to crack the code for writing. I taught myself to write and I started writing and then people liked it. And then Leo and Marty, as soon as the book was done, the rest is history. The Wolf of Wall Street.

Yeah. That's a tremendous story. But you're in this movie. I want to tell you, there's something incredible about Martin Scorsese that you can't quantify to put your finger on it, but somehow he created a movie that will go down forever. It's a generational movie.

And I don't think anyone, Leo was right. Leo was the one who attached himself to it and it was Leo's passion project. And Leo said to me, just trust me, buddy. Marty has to, he need Marty to direct this movie. Because there was a lot of other, Ridley Scott wanted to direct this a lot. And I was getting frustrated because Marty's very slow.

You know, it took, it was many, many years. I sold him the book in 2006, mid-2006, and in 2006, right? And it was like, it just takes forever. And he's like, just trust me, let me get Marty. He was right. I mean, Marty was able with Leo, of course, as well as brilliant, but he's got a special talent

for telling a story. And I think what it is, you know what it is? I'll tell you, is that he doesn't tell a story with judgment. The one thing I hate about the movies, I'm sure you hate this to me, everyone, I mean, you all hate this, right? I don't want to be fucking moralized too.

Don't tell me how I should feel when I watch something. Let me fucking watch it and come to my own conclusion. I don't want a morality tale, all right? Just tell me what happened and let me draw the morality from it. And Marty put it up on screen as it was, for better or worse, without, you know, in some such, yeah, he didn't glamorize,

it was glamorous. It wasn't glamorizing, it was glamorous. And that's what he did. And also, it was dark and disgusting, and he put that up too. That's what I enjoyed about the movie the most. It's real. I enjoyed the movie.

I really enjoyed it. I put it up there with good fellas. It's a great movie. It was, great. If you tell me what's my favorite part of that movie is, he took me there. I had to go to the bathroom and take two bunk hits and take a half of Xanax.

He took me there. He reminded me of my own of that time. You know, I told you that I had the same thing. They came, they said, do you want to sell on the phone? I mean, I was going to give it a try, but when I went down and looked and felt, it didn't feel right. Something just didn't feel right.

It felt like it was too fucking easy, and it was. I find it difficult to understand the world the way it is. I think it's fucking crazy what's happened in the last five years with this world, with political correctness and all this shit. It's like, I don't know. I just think that it's a lot worse than it was in terms of accepted for as it is,

but I just think it's ridiculous what's going on right now with it. All of a sudden, like every word has to be watched that you say and everyone's fucking sensitive and everyone's being, you know, me too, to whatever, too. I think it's just gross. I'm an immigrant. Yeah.

And I'm going to get immigrant that face New York City. My parents immigrants. And the last Israel. No, no, Europe. France and Russia. I thought you were Jewish. Well, yeah, but yeah, but France. French and Russia.

Yeah. Okay, right, right, right. I thought that I'm Cuban. And when I came here, my first thing my mother said to me in 66 or 68, I thought one time I got the PS1, 66, it's like, look, you're going to talk English outside the house. And then now she's going to talk Spanish.

I don't want you doing that meter, meter routine out there. I don't want them to look at year's week. And I'm going to go, well, and then started thinking about it. It's great that I'm not sticking up to nobody. I'm not political. I got felonies. I do not want to fucking go to jewelry duty.

I'm not sticking up for anybody, anything in particular. I was growing up on, and I swear to God, up to 85 or 86, if I was at a cafe and you and your mother were talking Israeli for more than five, six minutes in New York, somebody would come up to you and go, oh, English. Yeah. And you would go, whatever the fuck you're saying.

And they would go, go back to your own fucking country. I mean, it was well known in New York. You know, I, yeah, I get it. And I think that it was just a statement in New York. It's misunderstood. It's misunderstood. What it means. I didn't get offended when I was a kid.

You know, when you say go back to your own country, that doesn't mean, first of all, I love immigrants. We all come legally and also appreciate for being here. But I don't want anyone to leave and go back. But if you hate the country, you should leave the country. Why the fuck should you be? If you don't love the country, then you should get the fuck out and go back to your own country.

But not because anyone, anyone, I don't care what, call you where you're from. If you want to be here and love this place, for me, my door's open, not my house. But, you know, I've come here and enjoyed this country and everything I have to offer. But if you want to come here and hate on this country, get the fuck out.

That's my point. I don't care what you want. Everyone should be welcome. But when you come here, you should learn to speak the language. Okay, you should pay fucking taxes. You should fucking be a product. You know, it really bothers me the way they depress us,

twisting the message. Because you know, this, and Trump says stupid shit. I'll say he misphrases himself sometimes, but he doesn't, his meaning is clear. His meaning is not saying that people who are law, who love the country, and we should leave the country. But if you hate this country, why are you here?

Very different. I think all immigrants have the right to come here legally. All right, and I welcome the fuck. I'm my parents' immigrants. But, you know, it's just, it's something odd is going on. This is like very strange. I'm not sticking up.

It's very strange going on right now. Right, I'm not sticking up with Trump or something. No, it's not what it's about. I didn't mean that. I'm just saying that. He says stupid shit, he makes mistakes. He says stupid shit. You know, I didn't take it personally the other day.

And I've been saying that statement. It doesn't mean that. Right, exactly. It's 1966, I've been hearing that statement from New Yorkers. It's manipulated by the press for political reasons. Okay, and, you know, he's like the unfunny comic Trump. Anyone else could say what he says in the video, okay? He says it, it just drives people crazy.

I think at some level, he's doing it on purpose to fuck. At this point, he's just looking to push people's, he's gotta be at this point. Look, he's looking to do it because I'm like, because I'm like, oh my God, I mean, you're gonna really fall for this shit that he said, you guys are really gonna react, he can control the new cycle again.

Are you that stupid? That you really are gonna write about this? It's so obvious this, he just says shit and they just go nuts. And like, it's like, it's stupid at this point, you know? It was just, oh, I'm sorry. Cause it just, to me, the numbers that were thrown out in the movie were just so mind-blowing.

And I'm not a fan of Trump personally, but can you explain the power that that amount of money gives you? Like when you were on the plane and you got tied down, maybe not even for Trump, but just like what that amount of money will do? It doesn't, it doesn't, okay? It's a misconception.

It gives you power until it doesn't. It gives you power that I could fall down and someone will pick me back up. It gives me power if I break a small law that I can buy my way out with great attorneys, all right? But you know, nowadays especially, we live in a different world. I don't care who you are,

the bigger you are, they gun for you right now everything you did becomes, oh, I have a lot of close friends that in the last few years have been really, they've taken major falls from graces for things they've done or allegedly done 30 years prior. And I have a problem with that, all right? And I have a daughter who I loved at that too,

but you know, I have a problem with people being accused of things that are not provable from 30 years ago. Like it's just gross and disgusting. And it's not fair, it's unamerican. That's why I say whatever I did 30 years ago now. I just put it out there. I don't give a fuck whether it's robbing, or pointing at Carval.

One time I went into a car bar, I was 10-line-up. I fucking love Carval. I'm on the grandma block. Come on, dawg. I just went to shoot the many saints of Brooklyn and I was in, it was Ridgewood, Brooklyn, where we were shooting. And as I went in, they had a fucking Carval

that Abe Lincoln went to, I think, when he fucking was in New York that for a short stint. I mean, and for somebody else who would have saw that, they would have gone crazy. My dick got hard. I fucking, my dick got hard. And the next day, look at this fucking Carval. Look at this Carval.

Wow. It's a shack in Ridgewood right there. No, it's not even, it was like three blocks before you get to Ridgewood. It was fucking old. So the next day, I see a bank of America, looking from the side. The next day, I'm in my fucking trailer

and I go, what the fuck am I doing this trailer? Let me go take a walk on this Myrtle Avenue. And I didn't walk 50 fucking feet. And once they're waiting for Papa, a brand new Carval, like the new state of the art ones. And I saw two Chinese chicks in there making fucking shakes. I'm like, oh, we're gonna have a problem

because they bought us an investment. It's not like the old guy with the missing foot where we were kids, he had the Carval because he loved Carval's wife on diabetes. The kids were fat. The one kid lost an eye when he was eight from eating so much Carval. It wasn't an investment.

It was all good though. If you go to the Carval in Santa Monica and Culver City, it's an investment. You walk in there and you feel like you're getting raped. 480 for a call. And then you go to the guy, you from New York, they're like, no, I'm from Iowa. You don't have the right to sell Carval, bitch.

You gotta earn that right for your fight to part. It's like lemon ice cream of Corona. Yeah, like lemon ice, you know, it's just certain things. So I went in there and I go, the lady comes up to me and says, can I help you? And I was, you know me, I opened up with a double cone vanilla chocolate

and color with sprinkles and whipped cream. Oh yeah, I was telling them and I get a chocolate shake, very thin, and then dip it and then eat it. That's how I grew up, dip it. There's a place in the village, my daughter, 32, called Two Gay Guys. It's a gay ice cream.

Big gay ice cream. Big ice cream. Yeah, I've seen that. It was fucking good, by the way. They do the Carvels. I thought it was gonna be something different. I thought it was gonna be like scoop ices and she's like, oh, it's so good.

Big ice cream, right? I walk into a fucking Carvel. I fucking, that's the best. And see there, the owners, you get it? It's like a fucking family thing there. I mean the family. Right, no. The people that work there are just like there.

It's their fucking thing. Very cool. I wanna go to a Carvel as well. People line up around the block for big ice cream. Yeah, the mother weighs 800 pounds. No, it's a whole thing. The kids are 400 pounds. It's just right.

It's a fucking real thing. It's real. Your father's on roller skates. Exactly. That's a Carvel on there. And they keep beating Carvel even in spite of all of that. Yeah, no matter. Exactly.

In fact, I bought the milkshake. I ordered a large and I looked at the weight watcher points and I go, fuck. My brother just got a small. I took three sips out of it and I threw it away. But I did buy two things of flying saucers for the girls on the set. Remember the Carvel trucks that you used to go by?

Oh my God. Oh my God. Mr. Softy? Mr. Softy was my shit. Mr. fucking Softy, right? That was my shit too. So 2000, when you get arrested, when do you turn yourself in for prison?

2004. When did you come out? 2000, in the 2005. How are you feeling? Ripped, in good shape. I came out in really good shape. And with a book, 150 pages of a book, I threw it away, but I taught myself to write.

So I learned the skill while I was away. And I came out and started writing. What were you thinking about the outside when you came out? What were you thinking? How were you gonna get treated? My kids. No, I didn't care about it. I had never worried about that at all.

And how old is your daughter that you speak of? No, she's 26. And she's the one from the- She just graduated from grad school at NYU. She's really successful. My son's a rapper. My other son's a businessman. Works for me and for kids all together.

And this is with that first wife? Two, one in the movie. She's my second wife. Okay. I have two and then I have a stepson with my current, who is like my own son, that is the same thing. And so he works for me and I'm very old. My second kid is a rapper, a hip hop.

And he's gonna be famous. He's really talented and she's awesome. All my kids are, I'm very fortunate. But for me, when I came out, it was all about my kids. I came out, I didn't speak to an adult, probably for, I mean, more or less for like about a year. I hold up in a little tiny apartment in Playa Del Rey. I had no money and I started writing that book.

And my kids would come over and they'd say, shh, daddy's writing, you know? And I said to my daughter, I said, I'm gonna write a bestseller and become famous. You know what I said? I said, I never believed, I think I was scared I wouldn't finish. So I told her I wouldn't let her down.

I said, I'll never let my daughter down. So I used it as a way to motivate myself, especially when she told my ex-wife, then I really had to fucking do it, right? So I had no choice but to finish this book. I told my daughter I was gonna be her famous writer because I was scared I would never finish. I was, so I did that to motivate myself.

And I finished the book in about 10 months. But by the time I was on page 12, I had sent it to an agent. I just knew very casually. And he read the page and he was like, he looked, he said, did you write these yourself? I was like, yeah. He's like, holy shit.

He goes, I thought Tom Wolf had written them because I had modeled Tom Wolf. I learned to write like Tom Wolf or at least tried to. And he goes, write 10 more pages. I wrote 10 more and I sent them those pages. He goes, stop everything you're doing. He goes, you don't understand what's about to happen to your life.

His name was Joe Gowler. And I said, what? He goes, you don't know. He goes, this is gonna be the biggest book because Leonardo da Capri is gonna play you and Marty Scorsese is gonna, I swear to God they said this on page 22 of the book. I thought he was out of his mind.

So I just literally didn't work. I stay, I hold up in his little apartment for about 10, 11 months. And I wrote 1,200 pages. And Random House, they sold it to, it got bought by Random House, right after the 30 pages. So I had money, I had some money at least to live.

And I went through seven edits on that book to go from 1,200 down to 528 pages. And yeah, and as soon as that manuscript was done, if you know the first guy to latch on, wasn't Leo, he was second, Terry Winter. It was Terry. Once Terry, for the Sopranos, right, once he said, I have to adapt this, everyone.

Leo, it was like almost like Leo came on board and Marty came on board. And then, then came the slow Marty hell because Marty's just slow. You still talk to Terry? Terry, I just texted him today, by the way. Tell him I sent him my love and tell him. I sent him a text today.

Don't forget about me for that, I'm not turned. He's an amazing, Terry's really. He's writing this thing now. He's such a great writer. He took TJ English's book and we put it into, I have not read the script, but I have heard the stories. Apple TV bought it, so Apple's been breaking his balls.

Too much Fidel, not enough Fidel. Some shit's going on. Let me just tell you about Terry. Terry's brilliant. I know it is. He has no ego. He loved my book and he took my book and somehow formulaically turned it into a movie script.

He didn't try to make it Terry Winter's version of my book. He took it and he's a brilliant guy with no ego and his first draft was perfect. The movie that you saw was like his first draft, more or less. It's unbelievable. And then Leo came on and said,

once that happened, that was an unbelievable turning point in the movie, in my life. Once Leo and Neil all came on board, it was announced publicly that it got bought out. So then Random House immediately exercised an option for a second book. So I wrote this part two to the book

and then what happened was they green lit the movie in 2007, then the writer strike hit and it got delayed for five or six years. I was devastated at the time. Cause I said, oh my God, I try to be the best thing ever. Cause what happened was during those five years I became wealthy again.

I made back my money and started speaking, teaching sales around the world. By the time the movie came back around, Leo came to me and he goes, what happened? How'd you get rich? I told him and they changed the entire third act of the movie to have my comeback in there. The first version didn't have my comeback

and had me ended up in jail. So they ended up with me on stage speaking. It was unbelievable. So it turned out to be this unbelievable thing. I think the thing to learn from that is you could change your life story. While they were making it, I changed my own life story.

You never too like to change your story. You put one foot in front of the other and work your ass off, you know? You're a dangerous man. And it's funny when I went to, Wikipedia, you know, I went to your website and stuff and not to embarrass you, nothing like that. It's not my style.

I'm just saying this because this is how I feel. You and I share a certain bond. And it was that it said celebrity net worth minus, $80 million, you're like minus $80 million. But what life doesn't know is that's how you want it. You've always been an underdog and you made yourself a favorite. In fact, the best work you do

is when you're a fucking underdog. You're like Joe Montana when Dallas came. But Dallas marched into San Francisco, giving a point at 82, like we're gonna fuck up Joe Montana. Joe Montana said, bitch, you're coming into my house. You always live your life like it's your house. I'm lucky I have a rich wife. Really?

She's rich? She's my partner. The partners. But she was rich before you met? No, the partners. Right. I get what you're saying. No, no, no, we were really partners.

No, I know. She really started my business with me and she put her own money into start the business and she works me every day. And I'm very fortunate because she's brilliant. So we're partners, yeah. No, you were a lucky man. I am a lucky man.

You're a bad motherfucker. You're a savage. I mean, when I read all that stuff, like I read about you for somebody mentioning you somewhere if I, and I did not read your book. I've seen the movie three or four times, but I've not read the book. Now you're gonna force me to read the fucking book.

I think it's written in a way that you will like. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, no. You'll like it. I love everything about you. No, it's written in this voice and you'll like it. You know, it's the crazy thing about it. Anybody give you any shit? No.

For what happened over those years with them? No. You did your time. Yeah. You did your thing and now you look happy. Yeah, no, it's all like that. You don't believe, do you don't really believe what you're reading the newspapers?

You know better than that. No, no, no, no. It's all nonsense. I know when I got out of prison, I felt weird for a while. I felt weird. You know, it's a good point. That's what I'm trying to get from you.

What? I'll tell you what it is. It's not that. I, in the beginning, when I first, when my life became public again, and they would say things about me that I stole this money and it would make me feel bad inside. It would because I'm a good person

and I regretted doing what I did. And I got to a point, well, A, I've done so much good in the world in the last 10 years. It helped so many millions of people, but that's not, it doesn't matter what we're setting, but I saw it to realize that no one gives a fuck about it, except a few journalists.

That's it. A few idiotic journalists. Then we keep, by the way, I appreciate the hating. You know why? Because it makes me a lot of money, the haters. Because it increases my engagement online. So all you fucking haters keep on hating me because you took, pour it on.

Because when you start a conversation, my fans can react and then it creates engagement and boom, it's awesome. So I don't resent it, but here's the thing. I made mistakes. We all make mistakes. And it's what you do after you make mistakes. That's how you define it.

And I think I define my life in a very apparent way, in a way that empowers many millions of people around the world. And probably more than hundreds of millions of people are empowered by my life story, thanks to the movie and the work I do in terms of training and teaching about entrepreneurship. So I think that's the gift I give the world, is that.

The movie's funny, it's great, it's awesome. It's a great story for everyone. But the gift I give the world is the ability to understand that no matter where you are in life, it doesn't matter. You can come back as long as you want to work hard, learn strategy. It's gotta be strategy as well, right?

Yeah, yeah. You gotta know what to do, right? But if you want to- Everything I move is strategy. Every fucking move I make, every time I leave the fucking house, it's stored up. And it doesn't happen when people don't get that. And of course, whenever I see a successful person,

you would think that, is it luck? It's fucking strategy and hard work. And hard work, the intersection of that, and a little bit of luck. And the harder I work, the luckier I get. The luckier you get. There you go. Brother, it's been a pleasure.

It's been my pleasure. I'd love to have you on my show as well. I just thought- And you would be great. My fans will love you. Just fucking contact me and I go down and we'll speak. We'll talk. I live on the beach, you'll love it.

Yeah, I'm right on the ocean. Yeah, you'll love it. I was just down in Huntington. I took my family down there for 4th of July. Oh, I was in the beach, close. I hate those weeks. And I love it down there. It makes you, growing up in Jersey and New York,

every impression you get of California is chicks on the beach with bikinis, and then you get here and you find yourself living in fucking Hollywood, and you never go to the fucking beach until one day you go, fuck this. I'm gonna start to go to the beach more, and that's what I've swore to do.

And you've been an inspiration to me today. Thank you, brother. I think you are an inspiration to a lot of people, and I want people to know that second chance is a fucking real. You just gotta do something with the fucking. There you go. Don't forget, you filthy fucks,

I'll be at the DC Lincoln Theater August 9th. That's all I got for you right now. Go to the website, and that's it, and that's that. Now for a word for our sponsors. Again, I wanna thank Jordan Belfort for being a tremendous fucking guest. I wanna thank the Christ Killer, but most importantly,

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["Sing With You"] It's a little bit funny This feeling inside I'm not one of those who can easily hide I don't have much money But boy if I did I'd buy a big house where We both could live

If I was a sculptor But then again, no Or a man who makes potions And I travel and show I know it's not much But it's the best I can do My gift is my song and This one's for you

And you can tell everybody This is your song It may be quite simple but Now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down the words How wonderful life is

While you're in the world I sat on the roof And kicked off the moss Well a few other verses Well they've got me quite crossed But the sun's been quite bright While I wrote this song It's for people like you that

Keep it turned on So excuse me for getting But these things I do To see I've forgotten If they're green or they're blue Anyway, the thing is What I really mean Yours are the sweetest guys

Of ever seen And you can tell everybody This is your song It may be quite simple but Now that it's done I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down the words

How wonderful life is While you're in the world I hope you don't mind I hope you don't mind That I put down the words How wonderful life is While you're in the world You can tell everybody