Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #712 - Eliza James

Episode Date: August 21, 2019

Eliza James, a professional violinist who has toured the world and performed with stars such as Kanye West and Taylor Hicks, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. For the past 16+ years Eliza has been the featured solo violinist in Burt Bacharach's touring band and has held the same position in Paul Anka’s touring band for more than 6 years. This podcast is brought to you by: Policy Genius - Policy Genius helps you compare and find the right home, auto, life or disability insurance for you. Check them out at www.policygenius.com    Onnit.com - Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.

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The sweetheart in the bottle in Eliza James the Christ killer himself And your uncle Joe. We had a month on a Wednesday afternoon Oh shit Little animal magnetism for you motherfuckers Oh Miss James hello a pleasure to have you here. Thank you for having me. Absolutely a world renowned violinist When there's any fucking podcast And good looks to boot

Because usually those violinists are kind of fucked up They're all warped in shit, but you got all the goods. What's happening? Oh, I'm just Been gigging in LA just got back from touring with Burt back rack Oh, no, no, you have a resume Get to that later. Are you originally from Southern, California? No, I was born in England actually England. And where's the accent? I went away. I moved to the US when I was really young. How old were you when you moved to the US? Pretty young About a year old. Okay. And where'd you relocate to?

Philadelphia no shit stayed in Philly for a while for a while and then my dad He's a doctor and he got a job in Oklahoma. So we moved there When did you pick up the violin when I was four? It's funny because I got interested in your videos and also we started Talking on Twitter speaking on Twitter and my daughter went to kindergarten last year and they signed her up She picked the violin. Oh, that's great. So they were like little cardboard violins. Yeah, that's awesome She loved it, you know, I was gonna have you over to come over one day and eat with us I totally would do that violin for him blow her fucking mind, but at the recital

The violin teacher got on her last nerve, right? Oh, no, because you know, you went there like it's a fucking 830 recital, right? So parents got a leaf, you know, like people got to move in this town by 10 830 in the morning Go 830 in the morning, you know, I'm all in I go to bed early I get up and she puts on a pretty dress and she's waiting to fucking play the violin with 80 other savages And the violin teaches like well, hold on first me and my husband have to do a duet from my new album I mean, you know, so she used the kids to promote her own bullshit and it was the worst music in the world Look like a fucking cat that she just drugged and she was like a bomb at her and they're up there in the morning I never been looking at each other like so fucking uncomfortable

We came here to see our kids playing this dirty bitch. It's taking up their time And the kids did like four minutes and that was it When the car that night, she's like, I don't like her no more. She goes. She's a hog She's a stage She lured us down there to get an audience 20-minute fucking jam at 830 in the morning. I got no reefer in me. I'm trying to be a decent dad Oh, at least she filled me up with some reefer if you're gonna let me know this fucking ladies So, I don't know if she's signing up for it this year. I think that was a little too dramatic

But so your people to violin it for yeah, when did you become serious about it? I think I've always been serious about it. I I was actually watching I remember watching Sesame Street and seeing it suck Perlman on that episode and Saying mommy I want to do that And I just walked around the house and pretended I was playing And my parents were like, hmm, we should get her one of those So and I'm I never my parents never had to make me practice

I always wanted to play So did you what were you doing at 12 13 12 13? I was playing in a college orchestra in oklahoma And I was part of a touring group Called the Ottawa Suzuki strings and we went all over the world and we were ambassadors for the u.s. And we played different um Schools, you know for other kids kind of like a sister school program Thing and um, it was a lot of fun. I got to travel and I think that's where I got the travel bug I was like my first tour was when I was 11. I was like, all right. This is it. I'm done. I'm going on the road

I'm the tour with you. No, actually they sent you away like one of michael jackson's kids Just take her with you. Fuck it. Don't worry about nothing. It's funny now because my mom She said to me the other day. She was like, I don't know what I was thinking I let my 11 year old go to england by herself But I was with other kids. How long were you away from? Um, like a month on tour and then I have relatives there. So then how was your high school? High school. I actually didn't go to conventional school I was um part of a

Educational co-op and it was kind of set up like a college Where you pick your classes and you go to school only on the days that you have classes And then you have a tutor that you can contact and And you it's pretty you have to be pretty self-sufficient, but you didn't go to like a musical high school No, they didn't they didn't really have one where I was no shit Yeah, so that's why I was in the college orchestra and then where'd you go to college at? I went to azusa pacific out here. Okay, and that's where you tuned your shit up. Yeah to meet a lot of contacts Yeah, were you doing that high school to focus on music on nowadays?

I I was in because I was doing college music classes So I would do my high school, you know Math and science and all that stuff and then the college music classes were on other days but I actually moved to california when I was 15 and a half and was a nanny for my violin teacher Wow, so I finished high school out here now

You one thing I dig about you is that you just don't play classical stuff, right? Your genre is hip-hop Everywhere you have a really good Jazz bass like uh, I was looking at some of your videos like you you do jazz You know, I read something about you. You like hip-hop. Yeah It's so weird like a guy like me An arts and art the reason why I have you on the show today is to prove to people that Artists appreciate each other and we have pre, you know, who would have think who would have thought?

That yeah, you were attractive and I looked at you watch you play the violin But then the more I watched I fell in love with you playing. I'm like I wonder what her fucking path was like You know as a comic, you know our path is dark Fucking ballrooms and bars and people throwing shit at you and hitting people in the head with microphones and shit What was it like for you the For me, yeah for me The journey I mean I

If my mom listens to this mom, I snuck out of the house and played with bands when I was 13 I used to climb out the window and um, uh, I played with this college band And they would sneak me into the club in the bass drum case because I was You know, I couldn't walk through the front door. So I would I would curl up in a ball in the bass drum case and they'd carry me in and I'd play with the band and then they'd Kick me out of the bar So I I always You know, I always have loved music from

Every genre. So any chance I got I was jamming With anyone anyone who wanted to play and I used to practice on my front porch, you know, just to entertain my neighbors So when I was a kid, what's his name came out with the devil came out of georgia. Oh, yeah And that blew up the violin in our like we respected it as 13 year olds like we don't like that. Whoa Yeah, like well that he's fucking just the devil went down to georgia and all this shit You know today, we don't have that nobody has introduced

Like to me. I learned everything early on, you know, I went I grew up in Manhattan So our grammar schools would take us to like, uh, Lincoln Center to watch those dudes Play all that shit and we would sit there like what the fuck are we watching? But after a while even a knucklehead like me Saw that there was a certain type of beauty You know, whenever I go to Detroit, I get in the car and I go to the outside of Detroit. This is one bar I can't remember the name of it now Monday nights the fucking blues

Just you know, six guys. I know in Burbank here on Monday nights They get together at some bar A friend of mine, Lenny Satrano a bunch. He's like fucking the guy from ZZ Top showed up last Monday Yeah, I love all that shit. Like that's who I live for, you know, I love for Just people popping in and you know, you popping in with fucking slash You know, like how would that be? Yeah, and when did you go professional? Well, I started I joined the union when I was 14. What unit is so it was, uh, AFM

Okay. Yeah, American Federation of Musicians because I was playing I was a sub for Um, the Oklahoma symphonia And so I was and Tulsa Philharmonic and I was I was playing with them. So I guess that was You know, I thought oh, I'm professional now, you know, I'm getting paid. So there we go You know, um, were you the youngest person in the orchestra? Yeah That's pretty amazing So it is amazing and it's not amazing. It's it's a lot of pressure when you're really Young and you're around all these people. Yeah, he goes big egos. Yeah, my wife worked at the la phil

Oh, cool. She did the accounting for the hollywood bowl and stuff. So You know, I would always hear the stories and the fucking dude with the stick. What's his name? Conduct the conductor and the fucking whole thing and the egos and yeah, and you could tell that it's from an ego-based Society type of sorts. So yeah, I can't even imagine how some of the men looked at you or some of the women looked at you Yeah, it's it's tough because You know It takes so long to get to that point where you are in an orchestra that's as good as hollywood bowl You know, you have to work so hard for your whole life and beat out so many people

You know, you can have if there's a chair open in la phil you can have A thousand people trying to get one chair and there's a joke that every people say that um You know in order to get into la phil somebody has to die Because nobody's gonna give up their seat in the la phil or any big philharmonic like that So they literally will have that chair until they die Would someone like you be attracted to that notion of working for the la phil? I would I mean it would be an honor to play in la phil it's

I think I used to want to be just that classical player, but as I got older and I really love traveling and um playing just different kinds of music, you know, just like Playing playing with Burt and then going to a bar and playing the blues and then playing Dvorak American string quartet, you know, I like the variety of it and I like I like being in smaller groups. I think um, although there is absolutely nothing That compares with like playing Beethoven's ninth

With a symphony like being in the middle of everyone creating that that sound and that feeling That feeling Yeah, oh, that's beautiful. There's nothing like it now the la phil. Do they play year round? They have a season so it's la phil is I believe um, october Through june, okay, and then it overlaps a little bit with hollywood bowl a lot of the la phil people also play in hollywood bowl But yeah, they they take the summer off Pretty much

Now what were your 20s like doing this stuff? I mean lots of Lots of different bands, you know, um, I mean I was looking at names some I recognized some I didn't But I seem like Evelyn champagne king. Yeah, like what did you do for her? Oh, so that's a funny story actually Burning keep my whole body yearning that one. Did you buy a lint for that? Yeah, we did. No, you didn't. Yes I got this gig. Um, and you know, I'm freelance. So a lot of people you they'll call you and be like, hey So we're doing this benefit Or this party. Can you are you available?

And like most times, you know Sometimes you've never played with the band before and they just give you charts and you go um, this one was a benefit for like children's hospital in san diego and it was a 70s themed Benefit and they said, oh, we're gonna play the music of Evelyn champagne king gloria gainer, you know and Anita ward and then I should thinking it was a cover gig. I show up and we're all in costumes and super fun and then The real artists walked in the room. I had no idea

It was the craziest thing and I'm like, so how did you do ring my bell? We did well, we had it was a huge band. We had keys and drums and and we had synth strings, but I was the only actual real violinist on the gig and so thinking before oh, it's a cover gig, you know, they gave me the charts, but Then once the real artist walked in I was like, oh my god. I have to go practice right now I'm like But they were super nice. Everyone was really gracious. I think shotgun was there too. Yeah, that's crazy Yeah, and so you accompanied them with the violin to all those disco hits. Yeah

That must give it a tremendous different sound. Oh, it does. I mean disco music is built on the strings Disco strings are amazing. So It's crazy the other night I was watching sound that live was on I was getting ready to go to the comedy store And I caught like the last 30 minutes. You're a bum You're never gonna be somebody and he's like, fuck you I could dance and he goes down there And you know, he's doing that old fucking thing and I still remember walking to the movie theater to see that Walking home going holy fuck. Yeah, that's crazy. I gotta start wearing shoes

But now how did you hook up with Burt Backrack and Paul Anka who was first Burt was first Burt was first. How old is Burt now? He is 91 God bless that motherfucker. Yeah He's amazing and how old is Paul Anka? He just turned 78. How good does he look? Oh my god? He looks amazing. Now, what's really crazy about what we're about to discuss is that pretty much I gotta assume That may be 30% of the people who listen to this podcast because of their age. Yeah, not because of any Do not know who Burt back Burt back rack and Paul Anka

Who did you make contact with first? I was actually contacted. I well, I met I went to a show of Burt's and I met his music director and He introduced me to him and you know, just introduced me to the band was hanging out I was doing a recording project for the music director and um, then I went to a couple more shows and Then I got a call and it was

Burt and he said hey, so I'm down at the studio on sunset and I have this violin part You know, can you come down and listen to it? I was like, what? Okay, sure. So I went down to the studio and listened to the violin part. It was off the album Who are these people? I believe is the name of the album. It was a it was a instrumental want to grant me for best instrumental But I had never heard it before and he played it for me and I was like, wow, that's a beautiful violin solo, of course and he said yes, so uh You're free in october. You want to do vegas?

And that was it and For people who don't know I mean burt backrack is one academy awards. Oh, yeah, rammies. I mean he just his resume You know, this is 60 years in the business. Maybe 70. Yeah, yes, maybe 70 if he's 91 Yeah, you want to assume he's like you he's been doing this as he was 15 or fucking 12 or something Yeah, and that's just he's written music for fucking Everybody for everyone. Yeah, like he's written for over a thousand

Fucking musicians over a thousand. I've trusted him Burt backrack. That's how strong he is. Yeah, but then how did you meet paul anchor? How long were you working for burt before you met paul? So I've I've been in burt's band for 16 years No, shit Sing that out loud missing so long. Oh my gosh. Yeah 16 years. So you've been with burt for 16 now. How does paul fit into the equation? I Have been in paul's band for six and a half years now So I just got a call his music director. I was recommended to him and

They were doing Some kind of beta testing for a hologram And he needed another violinist. So he said, hey, can you come, you know, and we basically played my way for two days straight In a pit while they like beta tested this hologram. I never even saw it. I think it was a frank sinatra hologram and Then so I did that and only played one song But the band was so cool everybody in the group was great And then like a couple days later, they were like, uh, you want to go to singapore for new years?

And then I was it You know, so here you are You're in burt's band for 60 10 years 16 years 10 years at the time And now paul anka is calling you up. Yeah describe To the audience who the fuck paul anka is paul anka is one of the earliest

real pop stars 14 14 yeah in canada. Yeah, he He started writing. Uh, I think when he was 12 he wrote diana And he is one of the most driven And dedicated people You will never find anyone that works harder than either of my bosses, but he you know paul He knew what he wanted and he Had the package he put it together. He understood really early on

What it was to appeal to your audience He he had a good read for that and he still does he knows exactly how to work the audience and He started touring with a group, uh, like annette finicello And they would pile in these buses and go all over the country and You know go to these radio um Shows that they used to do back then and then everybody would you know buddy holly was on it and they would sing a couple songs and then Get on the bus and go to the next one and you know work their way around the country. So

You know, he was he was definitely I would say Comparing Now we don't really have any no any pop stars like that um Maybe just in timberlake Would be the the closest You know that level of of dedication and talent to the craft. What was his connection to frank? He wrote something for frank. I know he did something big for frank

He wrote a couple things for frank. Um, he wrote. Well, he wrote the lyrics to my way You know that little song just a little ditty Yeah, um, he wrote the lyrics to my way and he also wrote Um, another hit for frank. Let me try again when he came back He left show business for a while and then he came back and he premiered it at Madison Square Garden But he was working with I mean, he was super young. He was probably like 21

When he started working with the rat pack in in vegas So he wrote for sammy davis jr. He yeah, he's like he I read different books and I think it was a dean martin book. I read when I was locked up He was like the type of guy like dean described him like He would say little things to you that would change everything. Mm-hmm like dog don't wear now on shiny shoes or uh, say this at the end of this song or

Like he just knew how to tweak things to make him fucking perfect like everybody took his advice from frank to michael jackson Oh, yeah, fucking everybody Was with paul anka like hey paul anka had a hook and everybody at some way or another if you knew anything about music You just wanted him to just watch you one time and go Maybe you should do this. Yeah Maybe you should look this way instead of that when you're like what and all of a sudden you're like, oh my god Like that's the impression I get of paul helped everybody. Yeah, he is very observant

Like something with john lennon was it someone just somebody like a fucking crazy guy was Quoting paul anka. What's it was like? This is Crazy like jimmy pay. I don't know who it was some rock star. Maybe elvis. Yeah, probably elvis. Elvis. Yeah elvis It's it's crazy. So is he a songwriter or what he will P pa we come p. I don't think um pa Was he's he's a songwriter. He's a performer. He's he's everything

He does everything. He could send he can sing his voice now is so It's amazing. It's really amazing. You guys got to come to the show. So for the last 16 years You know, they would just had a thing about freido on last week. I'm afraid. Oh called qualmo Yeah, but Regardless of this, I don't know if you know this about the guy who played freido He did five movies Everything he played in one of the academy award. Oh, wow the hunter

Godfather two godfather one. Wow like all five of his movies if you look them up whoever played freido That dude, you know, they did a documentary on him. Oh dog day afternoon. Oh, yeah He played the whatever when he asked him Where do you want to go when we steal the bank when we rob the bank? They did a documentary on him You know, everything he touched Turned to fucking gold. He did five movies That were fucking like Academy award winners or some shit, you know, so like the hero was his buddy. Yeah, but she know was his buddy

His name was john kazali john kazali I don't see if I can find out what he did here Oh my god, he did, uh A couple of tv things, but then the godfather the conversation Godfather part two dog day afternoon and the hunter. Wow. He won five That's quite a quite a resume there. That's all he did. He had a knack for that but My point is how is it? How does it feel to be around two?

Greats like the education you're getting. Oh, it's amazing remember sonny and Fucking Bronx tell he's like you get in the street education and you get in the book education. Yeah, you are getting an education that most people Can't even fat Yeah, it's and I'm I'm very glad that I realized that early right away

you know, because sometimes you get a gig and you're like, oh, this is cool and and It's more than cool, you know playing for these guys is more than cool. I've learned so much about not just music but about How to be how to act on stage how to present yourself, you know um What how to work an audience, you know working a crowd Is it's an art? I mean, you know, you do it all the time

And it's it's an art and sometimes you get an audience that they just we call We call them the too rich to clap You know And you know, they'll do a benefit or something and they're just like sitting there and Drinking their wine and you hear the you know, the forks clinking on the plates and they're like, oh, that's so great You know, we pay we had the beach boys here last week. This is so cool And you know, they don't really They pay for these big performers to come in but it's they do it so often. It's like nothing

And but paul anka can take that audience and have them on their feet in three minutes How does he do it? He I don't he he works this magic. He runs through the crowd He involves them in he'll you know, say Start singing stay with me and then put the mic to somebody's mouth and they'll be like diana So there it's interactive You know, the all the whole show is

meticulously put together You know the energy levels at certain places and and he's off the cuff like he's really funny. So People will yell things Um, you know late the other day. She was like, I love you paul. He's like, I'll see you backstage after the show you know So he I think people when they come to the anka show they feel like they're in their own living room Sometimes they heckle a little too much. I can't really undo it But um like in vegas. Yeah, okay, we've had some we did a show in

Actually, it was in santiago chile and it was in this giant arena and he hadn't been to south america in quite some time and packed and he runs through the audience at the beginning of the show And we underestimated how excited this audience was There he told me this story after the show There was this woman who was so excited in front of him and you know the the general age of the people who know who paul anka is but you know

She was so excited She was standing in front of him and she started to say something and her teeth fell out She just fell out right in front of pa and he was just standing there. He's like, I didn't know what to do There was just teeth on the floor. I'm not going to pick him up What's the average age of our shows? it 50 to 70 Yeah, I would say 50 to 70 with burt. It's kind of it varies varies

It varies also varies country to country You know, um with burt. He's huge everywhere and so is anka but it's I think that um in england and the uk especially like there's such an incredible fan base for burt there I mean, we just got back from there and The audience sings louder than we play You know, um, but it it varies there's kids that that love Anka and they send me instagram videos of them singing

Having my baby. Yeah Sing that or he wrote that both he sang that. Yeah, you would we sing that was like the big How I got to know anka had to be like nine or ten. I sing that with him in the show now. No, you don't You sing too. Yeah. Oh, wow So yeah, does he still do that live? We aren't doing well right now. We're doing anka sing sinatra Um show that's a little bit different than our regular show But in the regular show we do it and if somebody yells out having my baby

He'll he'll do a little bit of it. You know, no shit Sometimes you'll the audience will say having my baby. He'll be like, I hope not You know, it's so weird how At one point in comedy for you to get stronger as a comic Oh, yeah, there's a violinist or as a performer. Let's use the word performer. Yeah, you have to watch everything like I talk people all the time when I when I'm on stage in the back of my mind It's prior. It's

Robert plant. Mm-hmm. I love his body movements on stage. He yeah, he underlined His words with his body. Yeah on stage when you watch Robert plant He underlines his words with his body Rod stew and I love live, you know, Mick Jagger, you know, oh amazing There's certain people that you have to watch, you know, when I watch you you did a video the other day Of uh Elton John on like a tribute. Oh, yeah, and it was just all these people moving and You know, I watch all that. That's what makes a performer. Yeah, I'm a comedian

But that means I could go on stage and just tell jokes. That's gonna take me so far Right the next part the next phase of that is becoming a performer And learning how to use your body to control the audience. Yes, all that goes into it, you know I love watching Leonard skin it live from oakland 1977 How that little chubby dude Controls the audience to his body all this goes I tell people on this whole I'm bb king live in Africa Jesus he's there. Yeah, like he's saying the words and he's there like he's telling this bitch It's over. What's that song he sings the really the really good bb king. The thrill is gone. The thrill is gone

Watch it live from Africa in front of him is that woman And he's telling them like it's fucking over that he hits the guitar I'm blowing you out, bitch. He hits the guitar again as to become a good performer You have to study all those guys. You do and even like anchor anchor dress is nice You know and he comes on it's like he's on Roller skates, but you don't see him right. It's really smooth. Yeah He's smooth. So when I watched the anchor, I'm like Look at Sinatra. Yeah, even Sinatra at the end with the twisted wig and the fucking

The teleprompter. He was still fucking up the words Sinatra was such a Sinatra at the end At the end they had a teleprompter and he'd be singing my way like let's do fly me to the moon with my weight lyrics Oh my god, it's interesting that you said that because um We had bruce buffer in here and he's not a musician. He's the voice of the of the ufc And he he did his announcing And I was sitting next to him and it like it honestly felt like like a bomb went off Like I could like just the energy that came off of him. So you were saying like the energy like with a uh with a like a

Orchestra like do you feel that when you're in when you're in the middle of it? Like it's kind of like vibrating It was kind of crazy. Yeah, you feel it and you're surrounded completely surrounded by it, you know, and it's It's really special and that I think that's the mark of any Really good performer when they're in the in the moment like you can the energy is palpable You know when you're really going for it And drawing the audience and the audience also gives you energy the audience, you know, it's You it's a two-way street. You can't if you have a dead audience that won't react to anything Then it drains you because you're working and you're trying to drag it out of them drag it out of them

Yeah, but when you have that audience that just is really excited to be there and You know want it knows the songs and they sing along I can't what I would love one thing that I would love on my bucket list is to have The experience that burt Had when we were in england and the audience was singing along Just the look on his face the joy

knowing that not expecting anything when you walk out onto the stage, but then realizing that you have impacted all of these people's lives Like that person over there got married to your song that person over there named their baby after your song And then having everyone sing along and that exchange of energy that was probably one of the most incredible moments You know, that's the level that you want to get there. That's the I would just I would love to have one song I'm not I'm not saying I have to write a thousand songs

Because you know, I'm not burt backer. I but I would love to have one song and just have that experience I think that would be incredible that they would sing that song together with you. Yeah, I I would I would hate to do it as a comic Saying that means you're not writing material. All right, but as a Yeah, like, you know, when you go see stairway to heaven, it's like an anthem. Yeah, when you that would be amazing to have An anthem in your career like yeah for paul. How many fucking anthems is paul at? Oh my god. Jesus christ so many Jesus so many I'm trying to think of somebody out like I read a bunch of books when I was locked up

and I kept hearing his name and I knew him as like it's like You know when I was growing up there was this weird vibe of From 70 to 73 Music was we had great music. Yeah, but there was this undercarriage. There was leo seyer Remember leo seyer and I don't want to go You had the captain and tenille. You had that genre and that's about the time I think paul came out with having my baby. Maybe 73. Yeah, I think it was around there And that's what I knew about paul. Ike and I was young kid, but having my baby

Fucking pretty cool. I can't you know, like it was just a song that that caught on And now like, you know, I read that he helped michael jack. There was somebody else he worked with That blew my fucking mind. He's worked with buble. He helped start michael buble's career michael buble And there was somebody out like he's just Little but we were getting back to back rack that you were saying people saying in his songs It's 60 The 70 years of experience. Yeah You can't

Take that away. No, it's it. You can't take that away from people. No, you can't and that's why now like At the 18 year mark of comedy. I had doubts. I still have doubts But i'm in the 20 when I have doubts now. Yeah, I go joey. You've been doing this Get your pussy ass together and get down to the comedy store and get on stage You're fucking tired. You're fucking pussy because I don't I don't have material. Well 28 years You don't have fucking material You don't have nothing to say after 28 fucking years Get in that shower wash your pussy and get in that car and get on a little canyon

You know, I have to say that to myself sometimes. Yeah, but that experience you can't take away I'm very proud. Yeah, but I slept on Graham buses because now I see it, right? I see it when I'm on stage I see it when I turn and when I do certain things like, oh I remember this doing this in charlotte that night. I was eating a bag of dicks in front of that black audience You know, it all comes back to you. So that's something that you're having a shortcut. You're in a beautiful position You're in a beautiful position to have that hit if you really think about it because you have all the tools around you Yeah, you have the right guidance. You could go to pa and go pa I'm thinking of a song. I want to write, you know, yeah

Having a baby's daddy Having a baby's daddy What a little way to say how much you hate me Having a baby's daddy, you know, and you could have the support So yeah, if this was the time for you to do what a great thing Like just to write a song and give it to somebody like one of the greatest stories I ever heard was that Elton John called John Lennon. I said, what the fuck? You wrote fame for David Bowie

And he goes, yeah, what's the problem? He goes, what the what am I? Chuck Lither? Chuck Lither goes, give me a couple of days, bitch And he called him back with Benny and the Jets Well, that's to me is better than having your own hit Like hold on, give me a couple of days Many of the fucking Jets for you get the fuck out of here with this fucking faggy glasses on and shit Before I smack it before I have Yoko Karate champion

But I love that. But that's a big honor too. That is a huge fucking honor to have your peer At that level write a song for you specifically for you Thinking of you like this it's not it's not just a song that's gonna be like shopped around and then go to You know, maybe this a country artist will cover it at some point, you know It's a song that was written specifically for him. That's it. That's a huge That's a huge honor. Give me one minute and now for a word from my sponsor The church what's happening now is sponsored by policy genius

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Better than nothing but not quite enough head to policy genius dot com today And find out how to supplement your workplace life insurance and better protect your family Policy genius get your insurance today at policy genius dot com and telemunkle joey sent you Sorry about that. Let's get this party started now What I was gonna ask you was like I can't even imagine being it would be like being around John Mulaney and Dave Chappelle Either or weak

Like one week I'm opening for John Mulaney and looking at that Perspective of it. Yeah, and the other week I'm opening up It had to be somebody who's even longer in the game than Dave Chappelle. Like somebody's in the game Uh Don Moreira 40 years, you know how to fill it Just it's not even it's looking how they walk looking how they talk looking how they go on stage Wow, they shine their shoes before they go on stage. It's that interesting. Paul Laker does a workout Yeah before he goes on stage, you know

The ritual the ritual you learn the rituals of different people and then you compare them and you Come up with your own ritual, you know your eyes must be you know, you could tell stories that nobody's Even comprehends. Oh, yeah It's it's something that you learn Um just by being around them, but you you really do have to pay attention You know, you can't get all swept up in that. Oh, it's cool to be on tour. Now, you know what sometimes you learn the most when you're You're sitting next to someone at dinner

And they're just talking about okay. Well You know, I think what do you think about this part of the show? Should we do should we tweak it for this? What's this audience like and and the questions that they asked the band, you know to find out How we think as well because I think that as a unit, you know, we all have played together for six and a half years now in Anka's band and We don't really we rehearse sometimes You know, we'll we'll have a sound check, but we don't really rehearse. We don't have to you don't rehearse during the week

Like there's no wednesday night somewhere. No, oh there have been I think twice maybe you know, but everybody's pro everybody knows the music and But pa is always trying to make the show better Even when you're like the show couldn't be better than this. How are you gonna make it better than this? He's always trying to make it better. We missed each other and boss. Yeah, we were at connecticut and I was Yeah, I couldn't get out early enough and you couldn't get out early Make each other's shows. Yeah, but when you showed me the place like I was blown the fuck away

Oh, yeah, I'm like anchor's selling some numbers. Was that anchor? That was That was mohegan sun, right? That was mohegan sun. That was mohegan. That was anchor. Yeah Anchor's still fucking kill them. Oh, yeah How much does anchor travel during the week pa how during the how many weeks does he do? Um, we do Like Let's see We do like a I think it averages out to about a week a month Maybe two week two weeks a month throughout the year

It depends. It changes. We used to tour a little bit more than we do now. Um Like we did a month in europe. We're gonna do probably do a month in australia new zealand in in the spring And we've got mostly it's weekend dates for now. So when you go out with Mr. Backrack How many nights do you do in a week? We usually do

We don't do more than two in a row. Okay. Yeah. No, your body can't take it. Yeah, and it and it's You know, we also travel with three singers so It's and it's pretty taxing. It's a the show is difficult for for Everyone it doesn't sound Difficult because we make it sound easy But I know the singers there's a lot of pressure You know these songs are

iconic how many So people all together in the band of birch man. Let's start with birds band. So me on violin Then we have two keyboard players um Who both also sing and then uh bass drums Burt's on piano Three singers Am I missing anyone and then Burt's son Oliver

uh Plays with us as well on a couple tunes And then oh, and then we have two we have a guy who does woodwinds sax blue clarinet and then a trumpet player She got about 12 guys 12 people all together. And then what about birch orchestra or angka's orchestra? Angka's is way bigger bigger. That's what I said We do a lot of big band stuff and especially now because we're doing the sinatra show. So There are

We pick up horns in different cities You know, we have the the west coast horns and then we have the east coast horns Um, but we our lead trumpet player is always the same um, so the the touring band uh The core band is guitar bass

drums percussion me synths piano And then our music director john cross. He does sax and clarinet. He's the woodwind guy and then we have a trombone player and Usually we travel with two trumpet players. So that's 12 and I count that right I think

Um, but we also add people so like sometimes we'll have four trumpet players three trombones and you know Extra we're talking about 22 people. Yeah, plus we travel with angka. We travel with a lot of crew This is what's always This is why I've always had respect for bands like When a band comes and goes like oh this band is great. You have to leave I always go good

Get me on the next album. Yeah Hit me on the third album and people get mad at me Well, you're not giving them a chance because I've been down the street before I respect zeppelin because they had nine albums. Yeah, I respect the stones because they got 50 fucking albums Yeah, and for anybody who knows when I get on stage, I'm responsible for one person My action when they don't laugh I suck the bag of dicks no two ways about it wasn't the audience not that they're old It wasn't to fall asleep. It wasn't too late. They weren't tired. I ate the bag of dicks, right?

When you're in a band like that All 22 people have to be having a good night. Yep, like that's always Yeah, everybody in the band has to smoke the same shit Oh, we all got us through the same cbd. Well, yeah, we all have to be connected in some way That's what I really always take my hats off the bands You know arrow smith You know, they were on harrow and fuck I went to rehab paid each other And then made it work the eagles, but people just have no idea

What it's like to travel with you know guns and roses a year Vince kneel and motley crew a fucking year You don't come home for a fucking year with four smelly fucks Talking about the same shit every fucking day. Yeah rehearsing eating pussy doing heroin. It gets old You know saying like it, you know, I can't wait to be in a band and get chlamydia and go out But do it for 18 months and the record labels haunting you that they want new music and you're too busy starting coke and You know, you have to five people have to be in tune and That's why you guys have and forget about your world

Yeah, you know when I used to go to the LA feel for the jazz series I'd look at and count 40 motherfuckers up on the stage. Oh, yeah 20 motherfuckers doing this 20 motherfuckers doing this all You know, and you're like, oh my god, that's it's like watching synchronized swimming. Yeah, exactly It's it's just a beautiful fucking thing. How do you feel when you're up there and you're a part of that? It's amazing. There's there's nothing that I can really even compare it to except that to be When you know that your contribution

Is important to creating this beautiful piece of music, you know without you It wouldn't be the same So you feel this sort of sense of ownership of it even though it's not your own music You know, you feel like look I have to be the best that I can be Because the way I am is going to affect the person next to me So I have whatever I'm feeling if I'm tired if I You know I'm stressed out

Whatever it is That all has to go away You have to be like Oh, you know, maybe You just find out that your dog is dying before you go on stage You have to ignore that You can't bring that to the audience the audience is there to have a good time To see you know a show

And your dog could be dying and no one should ever know You know, it's and but it it's It's challenging, but it's so rewarding to me You know and then when I'm offstage, then I'm like, okay back to my dying dog Kind of you know, yeah paying people to do your dishes people to do my dishes. What did you bring me? I know you brought my little present that you I brought you something and that thing looks like it's been Through fucking war. It has I have taped it back together Um, this is my music from

Bert backer act show Yeah Do you mind if I read this to me? Yeah, sure. So this is the ucla setlist the ucla setlist. Yeah, that was I think last year So one two three four five Fuck but then see where it says like record medley one right So day now and friends record medley one Is don't make me over walk on by Reach out for me. That's right. You go to the on warwick too. Yeah, that's right

This guy's in love. I say a little prayer Um, now who sang I said a little prayer for you forever and ever. I think it was deon deon also I think it was deon. Yeah, so he broke broke those for deon warwick Tell me he wrote do you know the way to san jose? He did and I'll jump off this fucking page He did he wrote do you know the way to san jose? Yeah And then we have trains and boats and planes. That was the oldest joke when I got to LA. Yeah, everybody was Oh, yeah, everybody says that because he was working for the psychic center. Oh, that's right. I remember I remember 97 every fucking joke had deon warwick. Do you know the way to san jose? But you're a fucking psychic

You know that was like everybody had a But yeah, I thought that he did all that writing for deon. Yeah And and he wrote the one that I find that the youngest people So because I always say People will say, oh, I don't know who Bert backrack is like I was talking to my uber driver the other day And he asked me because I had my instrument and I was like, yeah, I'll play for Bert backrack And he's like, I don't know who that is nice. I was like, yes, you do You know who that is

You know that song always something there to remind me from the 80s. That's Bert backrack I didn't even know that. Yeah, it's bugging me. There's a movie where someone goes come into the stage Bert backrack And I can't play awesome powers may okay. Yeah. All right. I and now introducing mr. Bert backrack, and then he's on the bus Oh I couldn't I could I the name is so uh distinct. I was like, I know I could've heard it Yeah, oh, this is why I wanted you to come on because I wanted to educate people You you're beautiful. What you do is tremendous. We're not even gonna have a close in the song I wish you would play a little violin for us on the way out. Okay tonight. I think that would be appropriate fuck tony benning

Listen to tony benning. Let's listen to little ellison eliza james. Yeah james james james Do you have because you're talking about like people having to be in sync? But what about I'm sure you must have an extra. But have you had like a violin break or something crazy like that? Like stuff must break the chords ever like yeah Yeah, the the strings definitely break they um I was in my college audition I before I decided I was going to stay in california. I auditioned for cleveland institute of music and

I think I may I like the sunshine better. So I stay here Um, but I was in the middle of my audition and the president of the university is sitting there and you know classical auditions are very stressful and There are people who judge them are very very judgy And um, you know, I was 17 I think And I'm in the middle of this box piece in my e-string breaks right by the bridge so close to my face

flips up Hits me in the nose and my nose starts bleeding and I'm just like Go to the other string And the and I try I'm like trying to play this e major partita on way up here in the a string and it's not really working And uh, the president of the university was like, it's okay. You can stop. Uh, don't bleed on your instrument But yeah, it's I've had I've had um We were I was out with burt. We were in australia and you know

traveling with instruments on airlines is It's horrible And I had a actually A bigger violin case than I do now And so every time I would get in line Oh, that doesn't fit me overhead. Oh, that doesn't I'm like, do you know how many flights this has been on? Like I got it to australia somehow so clearly it fits in some overhead not that one this not it was a different case so

They it was quantus And they were just you know, sometimes flight attendants are having a really bad day and they just want to make it your bad day and The guy he was like, you can't bring that on you have too many things. I had a suitcase and a Violin that's it And so he makes me check the suitcase and then takes my laptop They won't let me hold the laptop in my lap while we take off And they're like you have to put that in the overhead. So my laptops bouncing around in the overhead I'm like, great. This is starting off. Well

And I said don't put it on my violin case. What do they do? They put it right on top of my violin case. It bounces during takeoff snaps my bridge in half and I I had a panic attack like when I got to the hotel. I opened the case and the bridge was Snapped in half. It could have cracked the entire instrument and ruined the instrument my my instrument. His name is Jacques And he's he's almost a hundred years old. Wow. And You know, you can't it's irreplaceable. You can't

Just make another one And so that was pretty awful. I would say that's the worst that's the worst Disaster I've ever had how many violins do you have? I have Jacques over here and I have I'm endorsed by a company called ns design And they make these really cool electric violins my string quartet quartet 405. We're all endorsed by them That's what I see all yesterday. Yeah. Yeah, that's fell in john video twitter page. Yeah Yeah, we have a lot of fun. That was great. We're doing we're doing another one. We're doing a music video

Right. Yeah, we just got a our Former violist lila. She moved to nashville to work on some projects there So we got a new violist her name's jana chow and she's amazing And we're doing a tribute to paul anka She wrote she wrote an arrangement and we're gonna have a backyard party and shoot a music video I gotta ask you something. I don't seem to be of color here Why Did I see so many asian violinist for so long and then I saw your beautiful face

Well, I think that it comes from an asian violin. Yeah, it's huge and and I think that a lot of asian cultures are very They're very disciplined you know, there's a there's a There's a method called the suzuki method Which I learned when I was a kid. It's for actually your daughter may may have I don't know. Do you know what she was was a cardboard? Yeah, because that's something that suzuki does. That's how it starts. Yeah, did she play that? Yes, yes, yes, yes, Mississippi hot dog. Yeah, that's what we called it

But yeah, that's suzuki method and that was started during world war two by A guy dr. Suzuki in japan and he was the first person to make child-sized violins because up until then You couldn't really play Music as a child the violin didn't there wasn't really smaller ones So he started a factory that would produce child-sized violins

and So it came from japan And then just spread but it was funny I remember as a kid I was in a group class and all of the I've all of the students were asian except for me And so I went home and I asked my mom like a five-year-old like mommy, um Can I change my last name to chang?

And she was like what and I said, yeah, I think I think it'll make me play better My last name is chang. I think I'll play violin better So, you know, it's I think it's also it's a the parents are super involved With their kids they come to all the lessons. It's it's a method It's a way of learning instruments and it's not just violin. It's violin cello viola They have a Suzuki piano, but it's not as It's not done as often. There's harp. I think there's even guitar flute

But it's a really good method for kids To learn what's done between a viola and a violin a viola is like, you know in a choir You have the soprano alto tenor bass like sopranos are the highest voice So that's the violin voice The alto voice is the viola voice And then you have the tenor which is cello and then bass which is upright bass So it's it's the range of the instrument and the instrument itself is bigger So it's it has because it has lower strings. So the body of it has to be

Bigger in order to make the vibrations. I was having a good time to you brought out this music. I got depressed Because I always wish I learned how to read music. This was my first passion Yeah, and because I was a loser I quit And I became a comic because I knew that I would pawn my guitar If I with my drug problem and looking at this music Makes me so fucking depressed right now. I want to shoot myself So I'm gonna go to guitar center and buy a guitar do it But I can't because I have an addictive personality

I would if I start playing the guitar, I'd be in this office from nine in the morning Till 12 listen to pink Floyd's dogs Learning how to do the guitar solo the dogs and I would leave my wife My kid because I know I have that passion for it. So yeah, it's all like my uh My cousins in cuba. They're the national band the cuba. Oh, wow my cousins emmy alfonso and all band like Oh, my god, the whole family's playing congas and violins and the whole fucking thing So, you know, this was my this is what's in my dna. Yeah, I just was too much of a pussy To go for it. I knew that, you know, I started with the bass and then I quit

And then I figured I'd get into the guitar later on and just as I was getting close I had a drug problem. I go, you know what? I'm not that stupid If I pay 300 for a guitar every time I fiend I'm gonna pawn the guitar This guitar's with me in and out of pawn shops So I never really had a chance to really get involved and So you go to the slow rap you become a comedian because You don't even need a microphone or you need is a wall and three idiots to listen to, you know So well, you could always learn violin and with your daughter

You could do that Talk to her. I'm gonna talk to her tonight and see where we stand with the violin or any other Yeah, because you know what? I find that with kids Like the most important job that you have as a teacher is to inspire That's what you that's what you're there for you're in you're telling you're teaching them things You know, this is how you play this But the most important thing is to inspire them to then go

And teach themselves You know, you always I always think that If the student is better than the teacher then you've succeeded So, you know, it could be and and the Suzuki method when I I used to teach a lot before I started touring And I would have parents up to a certain age like if they were 13 Years old they didn't have to have a parent in the lesson But you know, it's really helpful parents writing down notes

Interacting sometimes some parents would they'd rent a violin and they'd learn alongside their kid And when the kid sees mom or dad's doing it, oh, it's cool now You know, now I'm not just alone in a room by myself trying to learn music I you know when I was little I used to my dad would come home from work and I put on concerts We'd have dinner concerts, you know So I think it you know if you involve The whole the whole process of learning if your kid sees that you're doing it, it's going to be it's going to inspire them to so

a word of encouragement I can't see myself doing Tchaikovsky right now. It's just fucking a Whatever that is, but I love it. Yeah, I love the power of it. Like I've always loved The power like I just went to see something I took them to see something Oh, we went to radio city. Oh, yeah, Christmas shop. Oh, the band came up and I was like Jesus christ The fucking energy that's what I want to ask you real quick For comedy when you're in a theater After it's it begin when you're in a comedy club. It's it's a game of uh, ping pong

but when you're in a theater the The energy flow in a theater for a comedian Is a is two senior citizens playing tennis? I hit the ball The ball bounces The energy goes up until the rafters They received the energy The laughter comes back at you. So it's a ping pong

Of energy. Yeah, you know smaller room. It's a ping pong. Yeah in a 1200 seat theater It's tennis. How does it feel? As a musician in a big Is that the same energy you're receiving? It is in a way. Yeah, it's You Especially when you can't see the audience. I love that. Yeah, you don't like seeing them either. I it depends um it's kind of funny if

When I'm out with anka or burt and I know that I have like family or friends in the audience I like to see them because I'm excited I'm but if I'm playing You know, if I'm doing like a classical solo and I have any amount of nervousness I don't even want to know that you're there If I know you I don't want to know that you're there. Don't make me, you know It's easier for me to just to play for strangers Um, but when I can see we can usually see like the first couple rows

Right. I like I don't mind seeing if I mean I gotta see the first two rows and now Something that's really gets kind of frustrating is And I I don't mind it. Anka doesn't mind when people take video or photos during the show But sometimes I don't know if you've had this happen What is with the ipads? Why are why are you bringing your giant freaking? computer-sized ipad to egg show

On full brightness And holding it up over your head videoing I don't understand it Because I can see I can see from the stage That the person in the third to last row of this 1200 seat theater is facetiming someone I can see the face of the person on the ipad because of the way that it's lit up And so cheap that they look at me. I'm to the point that that that is distracting. So I'm to the point where

There's a bunch of comedians that are putting phones away Because they say phones are distracting and the the the the thawed It might ring And it's certain comics to be cooled and otherwise it jumped on the bandwagon. Yeah I'm thinking of doing it because I'm sick and tired of going online every night And seeing you know the stones are playing thursday wake up friday morning. There's a thousand videos of the stones Yeah, why and crappy videos

Why aren't you living your fucking life? Yeah Why do you have a camera out? Taping a fucking concert Why aren't you enjoying it? Why aren't you focusing on the bass player for five minutes? Yeah, I'm focusing on charlie watt and then focusing on keith richard And then focus and then focusing on the audience. Yeah, that's all I see at these fucking places Yeah, I want them to ban the phones So people can enjoy the experience. Yeah, put the fucking phone away

Enjoy the experience or they put it up like lighters like assholes. What happened to the 70s where you burn your finger You know what I'm saying? Yeah, you fucking pick a big lighter and you literally I you think I have a do I look like the I went to 100 concerts. I've never taken a fucking lighter out of my hands and I've never done this shit That's for pure fagotry this shit here when they can do this shit And they think they're having a good time. That drives me fucking crazy Drives me to the last war if you pay 300 miles to go see the stones Yeah, 200 miles to go see burp backrack or fucking ball anchor or Eliza james. Do me a favor Keep your pony in your pocket for vibrate. I know you got family. I know you have a sick dad

But besides that guess what I don't want to see your shitty tape And then you show me that you were cheap enough to sit all the way up in the martian seats And then put the fucking phone away the artist so many people last week put up mcjagger from newark You're fucking embarrassing. Yeah, you're a fucking embarrassment. Put the fucking phone away and enjoy the event Yeah for what it is. That's why I don't want phones anymore because people are not and let me take a picture Put the fucking thing down. Yeah, I think anka does a really good job of that like I think that Sometimes people get carried away, but he he has a whole part of the show

Where he runs through the audience and he'll take pictures with people, you know, and then That part of the show is done You know and now You can focus on everything else and the music but they get there they get their photo with him They get their little video, you know, and he's he's super cool about it But it's the ipad thing really kind of irks me, you know, it's like A phone is one thing when you have like a giant scream It's like, why would you do that? Anyway, who's carrying around a giant ipad screen to a concert?

So i'm gonna read this last ad do you mind taking out the violin close not the show a little I can do that. So where can they find you? Um, I wanted to follow you on twitter because it's an experience If you're not following Eliza james on twitter, you're fucking up. It's a learning experience One night. She's in connecticut one night. She's jumping up and down with polux She's making it happen. You know what i'm saying? She's she's everywhere and I admire that from you And you have love for comedy like your friends and ronnell willams I've been friends with donnell ronnell donna. I've been friends with donnell for like

Over 10 years the long the long and you're a comedy fan like i'm a huge comedy fan lines and shit Yeah, yeah, I love comedy. I you know comedy for me Is a way to unwind after a show because I can't If I watch something that has music in it, my brain doesn't shut off. So for me relaxation is comedy And I laugh and I go to sleep and i'm happy You came to the comic store one night. I gave you one quick hug and I was out like you were like, I gotta go

I gotta go bang and I gotta get around because uh The experience I get from just following you on twitter On my bitch about bitching about airlines Traffic Just you put a picture of about two months ago with you and berk back rack Yeah, and I was like that is so fucking cool. I love him. I really I know I could tell I could tell that You have been I hate saying this word because you sound so cliche like all these other fucking jerks

But god is watched over you you owe him big because You're getting an education that most people fucking You can't pay for that, right? If you paid to go to Yale, you can't get the education you're getting right now That is and that's what most people don't understand in life that You appreciate the education you're getting. You want the world's best They're as good as it gets. Yeah, it's two fucking guys. So yeah You're very lucky. Anytime you're in town. I know you live close by. Yeah, you always welcome to stop by and fucking play the violin

Let me read. All right. I'm gonna get my violin out here. Let's do this shit All right, like I said in the beginning of the show the show is brought to you By on it as usual my favorite the supplements are tremendous. They just sent me a tremendous box I'm in a beautiful chocolate shake this morning with ice cubes and some water Oh tremendous the cocoa Whatever the fuck it is. I love on it. I love the alpha brain. I love the shroom tech immune The shroom tech sport and listen for little snacks. Forget about it from now on you just get those coconut almond chocolate seven grams of protein

Three grams of carbs and one gram of sugar or something fucking tremendous Go to on it that on it.com right now. Look at the great selection. They have Of supplements. I can't help you out with the kettlebells the club bats But the supplements I'll get you 10 off across the board go to on it right now to check out Pressing church chur ch and get 10 off and also remember listen These days a lot of jobs offer pretty nice perks But they offer your insurance. That's kind of half malukia Go to policygenius.com right now in minutes. You can compare coats

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I watched the mule last night. It's family first work second. Remember head to policygenius.com today And find out how to supplement that life Insurance plus get your life insurance today at policygenius.com and tell him uncle joey sent you so I want us Uh, give a shout out to poly policy genius.com and on it. Don't forget. There's only one ticket left for the ice house on the 31st February 13th in dallas And no February 13th. Why I keep saying February 13th for September 13th in dallas and september 27th at chicago deed. I'll see you motherfuckers there

Have a great weekend. I want to thank eliza james. Thank you for kicking Eliza. Kick this motherfucking mule Oh Oh Fucking beautiful. I love you guys. She made me tear up. That's real talent I'm just a fat fucking fellow that cracks jokes. That's Real fucking talent. I'll see you guys Monday morning ready to rock. Have a great weekend That was tremendous