Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #720 - Dean Delray
Episode Date: September 19, 2019Dean Delray, comedian, actor, and the host of the "Let There Be Talk" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   ... Policy Genius - Policy Genius helps you compare and find the right home, auto, life or disability insurance for you. Check them out at www.policygenius.com  ForHims- Go to ForHims.com/joey to get your complete hair kit for just $5 while supplies last.  MyBookie.ag - Use code promo Church to get a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000. Check out Joey's Instagram @madflavors_world on Thursday for a new video where Joey teaches you how to gamble. Â
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You get fucking paid lease. I act take this motherfucking meal cocksucker
Oh shit
Oh
Are you fucking nuts or what Dean del Rizzi in the house back from fucking shows TV shows
touring bands
Fucking iron maiden on Saturday night out in John the week before this guy lives like my gay neighbor
He don't fuck around you know I'm saying he's out there seven twenty four fifty-three years old
What's your fucking excuse cocksucker? How are you doing? I'm good man? It's great to be back good
Man, oh, I was thinking about it today. I played music like twenty five years and
And had some great friends, but when I think about the comedy family that I got it's just insane, you know
Love it. I wake up every morning and I go what the fuck
And how did I get here and I think about 1994?
You know doing all these crazy fucking open mics them. I forget, you know, and then I go, okay
That's how I got here. Yeah work work. You meet this you meet these people along the way and
Some of them dropped off and some I'm stuck with it and
You're stuck with them. They're your family, you know
Somebody called me today and said I signed one of your friends Maz. Jabrani
Well, you don't understand. He's not my friend
Monster brawnies my family. Yeah, my surprise would give me a 20 when I needed one never told nobody
You know saying my job Ronnie was my family. My job running time got me a commercial agent. My job, Ronnie, you know
You know, it's a shame when people go out
You get help from Joe Rogan. I got help from Joe Rogan. We guess who got me my first agent Ari Shafir
Guess who fucking got me on the show when Comedy Central wouldn't talk to me
Ari Shafir. Yeah, you know saying to let me tell the stories I did to grow
Everybody helps you everybody when people know you're all in
They fucking lend the helping hand. That's true. This dude's all in that's true
The fuck is one of us. You know saying he's not up here talking nonsense about directing or jumping out of a helicopter
He's here at one in the morning grinding it out and that's you know, when the universe takes care, you know
So you're fortunate also. Oh man to get an education from Burr, Mark Marin
You know, you got 22 different educations. Yeah, you Rogan Ian Edwards
You know all all the guys. It's just it's I didn't know how tight you were with Ian. Yeah, I talked to that fucker every day like you
You know, oh, yeah, I love him by the way. Yeah, and I think he's a
Very underrated. I think he's deadly on stage. I think he's a brilliant writer. Yeah
The sweetest guy you'll ever meet just the way he approaches you just a combo of him and Rogan Rogan does not like soccer
People always thought that me and Rogan were funny together. Yeah, they're funny and now they have a thing going on
Who falls asleep? Yeah on the plane. I saw that listen Rogan could fall asleep. I love him to death
Yeah, he's got something that none of us have he could turn it off anywhere. Yeah, he could turn it off
I do the same thing man. You can yeah, I tell people people, you know, like I'll meet people and they go man
I just can't sleep and I'm like if I stop moving for a minute. I'll go to sleep. No problem
No problem. Can you sleep in coach because in first class I can understand I sleep in coach like a fucking demon
Like I mean, I'm out as soon as the wheels are up. Oh, I'm out reason why you and me can't sleep as coaches
We don't fit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can't when you sleep on a tiny bed. Yeah, I'm gonna sleep
You scared to fall asleep. We're gonna fall off. I got these new things Bose sent me
They're you know, they got the noise canceling headphones
Whatever that these you pop them in their noise canceling then you choose what sound you want waterfalls
Raindrops white noise anything and it's like I like the beginning of me so horny like yeah
No, the guy's going oh socket to me. Oh
To me socket to me they got it they got a
They should make an app where you could do your own sounds, you know, it could be you like oh shit
This time's I'm having a weird day and I would just turn on me so horny. Oh my 20 times just to hear the beginning
It makes me laugh my ass off because that was from something I saw as a child
Oh, yeah, that was like a black porno, right, right like in the 70s a sample to it. It's a sample
Yeah, I'm a black porno like oh socket to me
Only black people
Socket to me. Oh
That shit's hilarious. That's something like babies got back. Remember that video sir mix a lot
Baby got back, you know, well the video that video was hilarious. I still remember taking me so horny. Yeah
I went out bought the album. Yeah, like all the cassette. I did something weird and I took it to a Chrysler Plymouth dealer
A friend of mine there. Yeah, he was a Christian
Ah, I always steal his pens when he was cutting the deal. Yeah, I'd steal his red parking pen
Yeah, he's like, where's my red parking pan? He would go nuts
So I had to lighten up on the red park of pens for a while. So every time I had a customer
I was like an old man
I
Put that
Trying to sell a car the guy's like sitting at home with my dick. Come on
I got my black book for my freak to call and he would start looking around like
Couldn't he couldn't say what the fuck yeah for the old people. Yeah, so he would just look at all you know
I didn't go. I don't know
Be so horny
I love you and the old people would be sitting there
Beating their heads but not listening to the lyrics and finally the old guy caught on and he's like look at that his wife
Like and oh my god. I used to torture people with that song. Oh my god
It's so funny when you're selling shit how you can't break your seller mode no matter what's going on
I remember I was selling motorcycles and I was looking at this screen of this motorcycle
Video in the shop, and then I didn't think anyone is around. I just farted and
The customer was right behind me and he goes Jesus
He's got Jesus and my boss this guy girl
Fell on the ground. He does cuz you know when you're like you forget where you're at. You just fart
Just
The part the fart now you can never write a joke bigger than the fart
Somebody fart somewhere. It's so funny to them. It's I love being on stage and stopping the audience. Oh, yeah
Oh
I fought in DC and the owner left
Oh, yeah, I blew a part that was the owner left. I blew a fart on stage. Oh
The owner laugh that's it. I'm out of here. Hey, was he doing fart jokes? Literally, I know nothing in life about counterterrorism
Yeah, no, yeah until I started selling cars. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and then I became an expert
on counterterrorism
Like stealing the keys out of the car when the salesman is about to sell it all that shit all that shit
Yeah, or a salesman off. So they have to cut you into the deal. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, my goal was for you to have a nervous breakdown. Yeah, like Rob dando. God bless his soul
My goal he sold too many fucking cars. I couldn't keep up. Yeah, and enough was enough
I'm number one in this motherfucking junk. Haha. So when it comes to being number one, you got to play fucking dirty
I was 20 fucking something years old. Yeah, you know every other dealership paid 10,000 a month
I'm making 35 at this Christ of the planet, but they closed at seven. Oh, yeah, you know, they were a white little family
Comfortable no problem. Here we are in this not in kilos in the showroom and and I'm tormenting this kid
I mean, there were days. He just went home
Yeah, I don't even remember the shit. I used to do. Yeah, it wasn't bullying or nothing like that
It was counterterrorism. We're all here trying to make a buck and I got to take the top guy off the top
When did you have time to actually sell cars?
Because I would torture him subtly. I wouldn't talk. I would go in there earlier and shut my torture process
I'd start like a trap. Yeah
Trap going and then I go out and sell cars like nothing was happening. Oh my god
It just dominoes are falling like somebody would come in and go. Hi. I'm looking for Rob dando
I would say Rob's in the back busy even though Rob's in the back in the bagel and I would give him to a different salesman
Oh, that's the worst now Rob would come out and see this and his face would just turn
Beat red. So his game would be off. Yeah, so then he would let the salesman sell the car
He would be pacing in the back like a cage down and once the deal was done. He would blow up. Oh, yeah
That was my fucking deal. Yeah, my name is on it because I don't know Diaz gave him to me
You know, that was my customer, you know, oh because once you do that to somebody early
They can't play the game anymore. Oh, they're fat. They're mad all day. They're mad all day
You wiped him out
But it all kind of terrorism also works against you sometimes
Because you're pissing on some of these legs. So you're making yourself negative while you're pissing on some of these legs
Yeah, that's why it's a practice. I just don't use anymore. I
Don't use it in comedy, but I will use it in life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah
Use it on my comrades in comedy before they go on stage come up to them and say, hey, you're losing your hair
You know, that's the last thing a comic wants to hear before they go on
Yeah, fuck put on a little weight. Oh, you put on a little weight
Fuck what the fuck agents here tonight to see me. You know
That's what you do. Yeah, you know at the store like let's say somebody had a big showcase of people
And I found out about it. I hated you and let's say with the showcases at 9 30
I'd call dice up. Yeah, and trust dice loves all that shit. Oh, I'd make dice go down and walking at 9 20
Oh, I got the back
Color would just see on his face. Oh, I would call Eddie Griffin
Oh, make up story and tell him to come down early tonight. There's gonna be a live and kick it
They go, what's going on man?
Because Eddie would walk in about a quarter to ten. I'd make them go down. It was all the showcases were at 9 15. Yeah
Yeah, so I'd have Eddie bump Argus like you're not even going up to that
Do three and I go up there behind you and then he would stay on the comic would just be pasting the back
And me and three other guys would be howling because we knew what was going on
That works against y'all
Little karma kicks in you don't do it in comedy, but you could torture people in life
You know like your landlord or something like that
You can piss on his leg. I know to me in comedy. It's like there are there are no enemies
It's like we're all we're all their people at the store. Yeah
But I won't say throw them under the bus because I love them too much. Yeah, they do try to piss on my leg
Before I go on stage. Yeah, I catch it and I giggle and I tap them on the shoulder to let them know
I'm happy that they tried
Years ahead of that I was doing that in my 20s. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're doing that your 40s
Yeah, yeah, you just look at him like good for you. Good for you. Yeah, you're trying at least
I see what you're doing. Yeah, I ain't mad at you. Yeah. It's not the voodoo don't work on Uncle Joey
I've done that shit. Yeah. Yeah, I invented the voodoo. Yeah
You know, it's just something it's weird because why you're talking about pissing on your leg
I really thought about the statement I made to you a couple weeks ago
We're here to do a podcast today out of respect for Rick and Casey, you know, God bless his soul
Me and Dean both liked them, but I was telling Dean and
Dean I've always been dates with you like I've known areas of concerts
I've been always really good. There's 20 concerts. I know I forgot about. Oh, yeah, same here
There's 20 concerts that I know that somebody has to bring them up
But I really got to think and then I got to call somebody to collaborate
Exactly the cars were the first concert
I think I went to see that that was the first time that I knew my concert days are gonna be over
Oh, I told you that I went I think they were at Central Park. Yep, and the sound wasn't right right doors
The could the cars, but nobody really knew till they got there
I think even the doors didn't know how being outside
affected them
Compared to like being at the garden or the Palladium course days. No ambiance. Yeah, I didn't I end I didn't see him on the
On the Candio tour or the first tour. I was hip to those albums. Same here
I still remember the first one hit. Oh God
Was fucking huge huge and then it being the soundtrack of that movie fast times
Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how far difference it was from the time fast times came out
Yeah, when did fast times come out and when did that record came out?
I think it's 78 and fast times like 81 or where but it really made it famous again, you know
Like so big but that whole record is every song is a hit
It's crazy to think that they he was that good of a songwriter Rico Casey 82 82 fast times first record 78
But you know, it's such a pivotal scene in the film
You know that it's it just feels like it came out that year
You know, you gotta remember at that time. It was Ted Nugent. Yeah
It was black Sabbath. It was
You know Judas Priest was alive and kicking there were all these bands that were a little heavier that we were listening
AC DC a lot of us were listening to punk, you know a couple of us
Well, you know, I like the class some of their music. There was a couple other guys that black
I don't know for black
Divo Divo. I like time like Divo. There was a couple bands
I had seen in the city that right now slipped my mind again, you know the years of abuse and drugs
But I still remember getting there. I think the album. Yeah to the cars
And being blown away like this isn't what we listen to so I'm gonna be careful before I bring this out
Yeah, you're on your friends. I yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be a little careful. This is girl music
Yeah, because it didn't really have a genre. I think they called it new wave. Yeah, but it was just like its own thing
It really was its own thing because new wave was a little to me
Goofy and fun, you know, you got like b-52s. That was new wave rock club star
You know that that destroyed that killer that came out
That album was played at every party
You went to right the end of the night after everybody got this springsteen and that priest fix
Yeah, somewhere slipped in the b-52s
Totally and some tough guys were still not dancing. Oh, yeah
Yeah, that album came out tough guys were still not dancing. No dancing. No laughing
Once the kwayloos came in and you had a dance if you wanted to eat that monkey
Yeah, you got a dance and you got to rub your hips against them and pull a hard of your wine steam
And you know fucking deal you have no idea what you're doing you're dancing if you've never danced and you just try it
You're just doing something, you know like this
I learned to dance early on by the eighth grade at school dances. Yeah, I was already busting the move
Yeah, I knew that if you wanted to get anywhere with a girl, you got a dance dog
They got to see your hips move. I watched soul train and I was Don Cornelius was a god to me
Doug I watched that show every week. I never missed it. We grew up on that
American bandstand loved it. I mean it was a different time, you know, I always hear the argument that there's nobody who promotes
New bands anymore, you know what? I don't remember a time when they're promoting new bands either
Yeah, if you were good you fucking swam if you didn't you sank. Yeah, that was it if you you know, I we grew up on
Soul train Saturday afternoon unbelievable American bandstand Saturday afternoon college football never even thought a canceling
Yeah, American bands then got its is fucking Dick Clark always got its end and then Saturday night
We had Don curses rock concert smoking and I think Friday night was the midnight special or
Back-to-back. It was Saturday night live
Into Don curses rock. Yep. I cannot tell you how many nights I stopped partying
To run home to see Don curses rock concert because somebody in particular was going to be on and the band
I remember the most running home for was black Sabbath. Oh
Oh man, I still remember Don curses to bring them up
I still remember my dick being hard. I had tears in my eyes. Oh my god. I'm about to fucking see him. This was uh
Maybe a year before they broke up. Yeah, like 78 and maybe six months before the fucking damage was done
How great was that show Don curses rock concert? You think about that now this show would never fly
They get the biggest fucking bands the biggest bands they come down
I was talking to a guy that worked on it. They would shoot it during the day over in uh,
You know, uh, I think Warner Brothers Burbank or whatever
During the day, they would shoot like three bands in one day
And you know, they'd have like a hundred people in the audience
There they were just rocking
You have wild
Biggest band ever not one song like, uh, you know, like on fowling or something now
It would be like they played like three four songs a whole concert
Fucking crazy. Great. And soul train. They had the soul train dancers. Oh, god
And at the end they did the the dance down the aisle. Yeah, but the guy left
You always I I still remember the episode when the microphone fell and the guy kept singing
Oh, shit. They're lip-syncing. I forget who it was that the microphone that was the first time I realized
I was like seven or eight. Yeah, that lip-syncing even existed
Yeah, like you're like what the microphone that fell but the song can't play it
He was left on stage
With a fucking weird look on his face Don Cornelius
It was funny. Ian Edwards and I one day I posted a clip of Don Cornelius
On instagram and I said
Every saturday, I never missed this guy. I never missed an episode and he texted me right away
As you used to watch that and I go like a religion man
And then I found out later the rock club that I booked the stone in san francisco early on was where they first started shooting soul train
Uh
Years before it was the rock club straight crazy to think wow
I'm in the same building as like soul train was filmed that was shot up in the bay area for a while
I guess and then where were the rest I don't know where the rest of them were but we could find out on wikipedia
But that ship was uh, you know bay area first and uh, it was amazing that guy had a
I think he was a dj at first Don Cornelius
I did really read up on it for a while and then I forgot but
I think he was a dj or something then had that show but he was so bad ass
How smooth was he to be like all right? Yeah, his voice was true
I still remember barry white being on there. Yeah elton john
They showed clips at the show. There was another white guy who was on there. That was oh david bowie bowie was on there
Bowie's on there man fame the brothers johnson. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. He did fame the brothers johnson
The oj's
You know, I grew up on that that was stele lakeside earth wind and fire fire. Oh, uh
Parliament played on there parliament played on there
You finally
Yeah, I'm just looking for san francisco all the confines l.a. Yeah. Yeah started in chicago actually chicago and then and then
And then i'm pretty sure it was filmed in san franc for like two years or something
Uh, that's what I read uh somewhere. So
Who knows if it you know when you're reading stuff, you're like, oh cool
You never check if it's if it's real you're like, oh, all right. Yeah, it was there
but uh
But that's also wikipedia so that could be yeah. Yeah, but supposedly it was filmed in that same place
that uh
That became a famous rock club later the stone pretty wild
But man, uh, I was watching elton john and he was showing old clips behind him
And they had the soul train clips
And there he is man wearing like a green suit and the glasses with the clear piano
Just killing it on there. How was elton john?
He was years later 72 years old three hours crushing it. No opener
And just murdered it. I mean murt comes out
Starts with uh benny and the jets and never looks back
It's crazy how great he is
Really got three original guys in the band still the drummer
The guy that does the percussion the older guy up there with the bongos and the tambourine and then the guitar player three guys
It's been in since like 71
I was zion maiden sadly. Oh, man. Well, that was just another level who opened up for them
Uh, fozzy, you know, what's his name's band? Uh, the wrestler
What's his name? He has the podcast. He's the famous wrestler got him drawing a blank on his name and then some other band
I missed but uh
Burr and I went and it was
insane
there
They're showing all the other bands. Hey, we spend all our money on the stage show
I think they they're like, we got plenty of money. Let's put on a show. No one's fucking seen every three songs
It's a different stage monsters
backdrops fire
Shit flying. It's like spray. They open with a fucking b 52 plane flying over the stage
Huge plane just flying over
It's crazy
Huge
I was like, well, that's the opener and dickinson. He's so badass. He's like, yeah, we open with that
That would be most people's closer
But no, we fucking open and we get better
Bigger, you know, he's like going crazy the crowd. They played the soccer stadium the new one
I've never been there where the la sports arena used to be
They put a huge soccer uh stadium there off the 110 there. You can see it
Fucking place was jeff's seat. Fuck. I think that thing holds like 50 000
Oh, I'll show you a video. It was jeff's all the way to the top for
All the way to the top. I mean the worst seat on the planet
People are really coming out to support the arts these days. They are man. I really gotta hand it to them
comedy
To music, you know, I mean, there's still loyal
People out there that they just love entertainment. I mean all these shows, you know, what's what's kiss at
The kiss army the tour is that fucking break and fire
Money records there. They just bought the bank. Yeah, they just I heard any trunk said the figure about two weeks ago
Where they're at so far with tours. I mean people are going out
People are actually paying money for these tickets. Yeah, and they're enjoying themselves. God bless them
you know monday, there was a guy that called in to
Eddie trunk talking about uh
ticket prices and how he stopped supporting a lot of
Especially g and r his his his point was g and r right that we're paying too much money to go see g and r
Do 30 year old songs. No, that's crazy. They respected the audience their fan base. They would come out with a new album
And all this shit the guy made some good points. He asked me that he trunk made some great points also about
you know that uh that uh
Slash and
Duff is still very active and they put out solo projects in between they've been successful
But that he feels that axl rose is such a greedy fuck
That he won't you know, he goes he's so he wants to go tour with ac dc
But he won't fucking put him out. Why don't we get the guys in the best studio and let's get a new album
Why would I want to pay a hundred dollars to go see fucking 30 year old music and he felt that iron maiden
Was very good to their fan base, right? He said iron maiden is one of the best. They go to electronic tickets
They don't let scalpers get their hands on the tickets. He goes that he was talking about fan bases. It was very interesting
Yeah, really interesting about it. You know and addy told him addy trunk told him at the end
He goes, you know who stops these bands from doing this you do. Yeah, just don't pay it again
bucks
And you want to pay 80 for a beer and a hundred for a t-shirt just don't go
Yep, but the more you go the more you're going to support this somebody came up to me in san antonio
And said I paid 300. I was a piece for your tickets
I go don't ever do that
I'm not worth any more than that ticket price. It's a shame that
You have all these fucking people take their ticket prices just to make the exchange online
Yeah, 13 dollars three dollars for paper. It breaks my heart, you know, don't pay over that. I'm not fucking worth it
Yeah, don't pay over that. I'll be back in some time if you see I'm on a schedule somewhere
Make a trip, but don't ever pay that money. Go to the fucking theater website
People hit me up all the time. I'm not going to see you your tickets are 311 dollars. They're on their own website
What are you fucking talking about? Yeah, where am I the fucking the fucking flyer and the fucking website?
Connects you with the link to the fucking site. Yeah, why are you on any other fucking site paying?
$311 for jodias. I don't get it. Are you fucking crazy? Do you think I would charge you?
300 and fucking 11 dollars
Without a gun
Yeah, you know what I'm saying like just it's just people have no idea what they're buying
So you just got to watch what sites you're going to
You know go to the direct fucking the stones. I've got the stone thing. They're hashing out all those people just
They don't need to deal with it. It's right on our website. I always tell people they go
When they come into milwaukee, it's like it's all there man. I mean I pay for this website every month
So you go it's the easiest spot
Dean delray.com, you know, because if I post it in uh, twitter and instagram and everything
The algorithms I post the link. Yeah, I post the link to that fucking website. I want you to go. Yeah
So you save fucking money. There it is. I mean, I don't you know, you don't get a piece of time
But I want to talk to you about some of the cars real quick before I forget
The cars taught me a very candy all the album. Yeah taught me a very big lesson about what I do today
You know, I
Maybe eight years ago was when people started asking me for pictures
Then people when you take pictures with people
You usually have little conversations with them. Yeah, you know
And some people come over and they shake your hand you go. Hey Dean. Nice to meet you. Joe Diaz and I put my arm around
They put my there on their arm around me
And as we're taking the picture they'll say, hey man
I was having a hard time. I listened to the podcast. Thanks for helping me out
And I would go back to my hotel room and I would go how fucking creepy is that? Yeah, how creepy is that, you know
For the next film. What are they talking about? I couldn't really handle that when people would say that to me
I was my my son died and I listened to your podcast and it really helped
And I was like that's fucking crazy and then one day I was listening to Candio
And it hit me. Yeah, Candio
That album was one of the albums that kept me together after my mother died
Candio was something I look forward to listening to the whole album. There's not a bad song either
Elliot Easton. Oh the guitar work on there is fucking just
He's a little guy. I think he's from Long Island original. Yeah, the guitar was bigger than him
Yeah, the guitar was bigger than him. Matt Tandon
Yeah, if you watch all these car videos the guitar is bigger than he is and he just
fucks it up some of his leads are fucking nasty
But Candio if I think about it is one of my top 10 albums because it kept me together at a time where
I must listen to the album for the first year and a half after my mother died
Every day man. So now when people say to me. Hey, I listened to the podcast
I could relate. I'm not saying I'm the cars. I just could relate to what they were saying. It helped me
I loved all that shit. Yeah
The other day when I got my friend called me from Jersey and he goes did you hear
Rico Kasek died when I hung up. I thought about you
Bumping into him six months ago in the city at a crazy
And you said he looked great. He looked great
He's my neighbor. It was nuts. And then I thought about uh
Just being a kid and listening to those first two albums
Yeah, the first album I had at the house before my mother died
I still remember that Ted double live was ruling the charts. Oh, yeah double. I've gone. So you had a bus through Ted
Born to run. Yeah was born to run out already born around. Yeah. Yeah born to
You had a bust out through uh the kinks. Yeah, and then you know with all these bands that
People go down. You're not putting the cars out of my party
Like there were people that I still remember visibly telling me we don't play the cars in my house
And not even my feelings would be hurt. I just go, okay, I think you're missing out on a great fucking band
I thought the first album was great and I thought the second album was just
spectacular
Like if you watch people's work will not anymore
Except for maybe the little skinny blonde and Beyonce
You you judge people by I don't like judging specials. I don't like judging CDs
Yeah, I like to judge the whole library. Like I remember I have a friend that calls into the bug gas
We haven't had him calling in a hard time
Frank canella
Frank canella's father was a jazz drummer. We were growing up
And him and I were in a band together. I was the lead singer and all we did was lip-sync. Yeah the Beatles
Living room rock living room rock. Yeah, I had the bass player and
The whole fucking deal then my voice changed. I didn't sound like michael jackson anymore
Sounded like paparazzi and then the fucking show
But I remember shortly after john bonham died
Me being at his house
and his mother of all people
Said that she goes, you know, I like how my legs that one
Yeah, yeah mom that every album was really really different
And that showed you the strength of who they were like she didn't judge them as
She just judged them as after she goes after I listen to all this is before coda came up. Yeah, coda. Yeah
Yeah, this before I'm not a big fan of coda. I like in through the outdoor though. Yeah
Into the outdoor. I fucking love god. That's a great love in the evening
I remember my neighbors who were jojoba witnesses on giving that terrace
Knocking on my door at 7 30 in the morning
Telling me to lower it in my bedroom because they could hear it
Through the fucking walls through the air conditioner in the house
Just cranking in the evening and I would go check on my mother
Out cold. Oh, she'd just be at the edge of the bed with her mouth open
Not hear no zapping nothing and it was fucking loud
But that's how I feel about candio. Yeah the whole out. That's all I can do
To keep waiting for you. Oh man the album cover done by vargas, you know the famous playboy
The fucking chick on the car. Yeah
It's just the drawing over
Yeah, that's she was in the car. I don't know if I have I definitely have the first album. Yeah
But I don't have I don't think I have can't candy. I think I do
I think I do if I know anything about myself. That's one of the I always buy that for the home collection
I feel like
They're in the rock and roll hall of fame. Yeah, they made it. Yeah, they made it in and I feel like
They're still
Underrated
It's bizarre to me like they're they they have so many hit songs
They're like the new wave version of tom petty
It's a fucking they got a double disc
Of hits an anthology like just all hits
And I said it before no piss tracks when you see him live. There's no tracking. Go. All right. I can go take a piss
There's no piss track because it's just time. Did you see him? I always saw him one time
When did you see him and I saw him on the shake it up tour 1982 cow palace
And they
Destroyed they didn't say a word
Nothing they came out
Played all the hits. I was like, this is insane. It was like they were almost like aliens
You know, you're like, that's them. Whoa, and they sounded exact to the record which is hard
because they're they sound so
Like the fidelity of them and everything all the the layers of it the keyboards and and the guitar and all that
The way it sounds it could easily sound horrible live a band like that. You'd go and be like, oh, it's a studio band
You know, ah, they can't do it live. These guys nailed it live
They were fantastic. I think I actually saw him twice. I think I saw him later on too years later. I bought
Benjamin Ours one of the solo album right and it was fire
Yeah, it was really how you used to listen to it while I was selling neon
neon had an Acura
Integra, yeah a two door white one a 90 1990 with the rims
I got a great deal on it when I got separated
I got fucking tow trucks caught up with me
Oh
It never came up on my fucking credit report. Wow score on that, right?
It must have gone on and they took it off. You're selling neon tubes the neon actual shit
I used to sell neon to stores the first job I could handle. Yeah after I got separated
It was you know that angle what in your heart when you get when you go through a traumatic thing
It's hard to work. Oh, yeah hard to focus
And I remember I was having a hard time focused and the other I could basically do is eat valium and do stand-up
Yeah, that's all, you know, I had a girlfriend. I just wanted to be with her in the daytime. She was younger than me
And a friend of mine was like listen, man, you gotta fucking get it together. Yeah, I love you to death
You could eat here whenever you want but
You gotta do something with your life. I'm like, what am I gonna fucking do?
And he owned a neon shop. He was a glass
And he goes I sell those neon things. I'll give him $50 open
1990 everybody was open looking for an open sign, right?
Right though. You got it for 50. Whatever you could get is yours. Oh, shit
I'd start at $1.99. Yeah, I'll install it right now. I'd bring a drill with me
Couple screws. I'd be a ladder
But I would also ask I would drop off a flyer
And if they wanted more info than Danny would come in and close them on the whole deal. Yeah
Oh neon and it was easy all you had to do was go to a strip mall
Just pick an area
And just go to a strip mall and just drop off
Go to sushi dance strip mall
Go across the street to the mall in there. Hi. How you doing? Just wanted to give you this. We're not interested. Okay
Yeah, but if I would pass out a hundred flies I get
Three to seven calls
I would just wake up and go to kinko's make a hundred flies
And just go that's why neon signs open closed
They would go do you have neon signs that say open at that time Costco didn't have them yet?
Yeah, this was pre Costco. I was doing comedy and it was putting an extra
I don't know four or five hundred
It started at like 200 like I sold a couple things
And then I just kept it going every monday tuesday and wednesday
I'd pass out 300 flies and sell
Five things it was just numbers game. I love neon man
The neon in the store is half of what the store is it's so wild when you're in there and they turn those
Neons on while they're seating people
And it's all the famous
Heads and the names, you know in the main room
You got the heads and then in the original room the names
And then as soon as the show starts the neons come off and you know the show is going it's it's uh
It's such a cool part of that the store
And then the neon I went to last time I was in vegas. I went to the neon
Like graveyard
You've been there you go out. It's all the famous giant leftover neons
From vegas old shit the silverado and they're all in there and you can take a tour guys
Just got them all on in this big yard like a junkyard of neon
It's fucking amazing
That's it's cool people get married and shit in there. I got married at the neon museum
He was a really interesting guy
The guy sold neon for him. Did he make him or get him from somewhere? No, he did everything himself. He made him
He had a business
His name was daniel fevels
I met him when I was working on the car wash
I was in the halfway house. My wife was pregnant. Oh, we had already had jacklyn
And I met him at the car wash. They pulled up
And I could tell by the music they were listening to I know you guys Cuban. They're like, yeah
And I'm like, where you guys from like Miami and
They go, we live exactly where you live. They live in the same apartment complex
So after work instead of going to the halfway house, I signed out to their house
And I went over to an eight and watched the super bowl and we've been friends ever since wow
He told me he had a neon shop with a partner his ryan kahoon in boulder
So I went I knew ryan the funny thing was I knew ryan from 85
I dated my ex-wife and her best friend was ryan kahoon
So we all knew each other
So I went to work for them, you know, and I would
Work out with danny from time to time me and danny hung around at night
They were very good to me. They took me into their home. I was a little older than they were
I was like maybe two or three years
Older than him and his wife. They're not together no more
But uh, he had a ryan. He had a partner named ryan kahoon
And ryan could be a little difficult from time to time
And I liked ryan. I always respected him. Can I get that water from me there? Yeah, I respected ryan
And there was a weed shortage
We'd shortage every august. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're waiting for the harvest to come full moon
the harvest uh
You would go dry for a few weeks
And I remember we would dry for like two weeks and I mean this is when I was going
I didn't know I was about to get separated
But I didn't like what was going on in my house. Yeah, you know
I had already been in prison. I think I was out on at this time
I think I was still on community corrections
And I was smoking they weren't testing me no more they gave up on testing me like like this guy keeps blowing up the machine
Blowing up the machine. Yeah, they go like this like no fucking way. I would put drain on the piss all this shit
So I was smoking and
He had a deal with me. I was gonna give him like 800 bucks
And they were gonna drive up to hide a home pick up a couple pounds and I had dibs on
On a half a pound
But I had already sold for 800. Yeah, I was gonna dip into that just to hold me over
And
You know, whatever the drive was to hide a home
They fucking did it and they get back to Boulder
Ryan calls me
With not the story that I want to hear
Hell no, and I'm living in a joey Diaz world like I'm fucking hating myself
I just started comedy
I really wanted to be a comedian. I didn't know where to start. I was two months into comedy
And I fucking didn't want to go to work no more. I didn't want to be a roofing estimator
I didn't want to be married. I just wanted my life to fucking end
And now this fucking kid who I gave 800
Hard earned dollars to
Is calling me with some fucking story. Oh shit, right and
At that time we had the condo
The door and it was just like this there was windows, but that day the curtains were open
So I could see who was coming up the stairs
So he calls back again. He goes, hey, man, we were talking before I didn't like your tone of voice
I said, hey, man, I gave you 800 dollars for something and you're calling me with a fucking Chinese story
Yeah, I go shoot. I don't want my tone and then he fired back
Well, we'll see when I get there what your tone is. Yeah
So I hang up the phone and not three minutes after that
I hear him coming up the stairs
And by the time he gets to the top thing
I see him giving me the evil eye and I'm about five feet from my kitchen
And I had a knife rack there. Yeah, and I went like this with my hand like hold on one second and right in front of him
I turned around I pulled one of the knives out and I started walking towards the door
And he's standing in front of me and when he sees them coming towards him and
Thank god, this went down when he saw I was coming. He just fucking ran down the stairs
Ran to Danny's house and they both called me and then it's like what's going on
Ryan just said you pulled the knife on him. He'll give me the eight ounces. There's no problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah
You know, and then Ryan got on the phone. Hey, man, I was just kidding with you. They didn't know I was another planet at the time
They didn't really know right desperate Ryan could only really know and then we got into it again one time when
I've got into comedy. I had an account like somebody
Went there that took them a year
To decide what they wanted. They were building a restaurant. The place was tremendous
The place was tremendous. It was one of the best restaurants still I've ever eaten at in my life
Due to the fact that they had a three margarita
limit
Three margarita and then they asked you to leave
Because what you were going to go through was going to be hell. They made their margaritas with
Crane alcohol. Oh, shit. So you're just wasting in that lunch. They would have many margaritas for a dollar
You would get
Fucked up. They had the best bet was called Rio Grande restaurant
I became one of them when they passed the fly the guy pulled me aside
He goes, what is this about and just from my experience of working with Danny. I laid out what he should do
Yeah, what do you suggest and I go, oh, why don't you just put a tube
Three tubes brown to highlight the room and then
Put a sign that says margarita and make it blink and tacos and
So, you know, every time I went there to eat dinner
I would talk to the fucking owner. Yeah, and he'd go i'm coming close. I went with designing this
So I was doing comedy at the time already
And you know, I was just doing it like part-time and one day this guy called and put him like a $20,000 water
Whoa, it was like $3,000 in my pocket. Yeah, and I go on there to eat one day and the fucking neon's up
Oh, bad ass. I go, when did you get the neon? He goes, oh, we got it installed didn't Danny tell you?
And I go, nobody fucking told me. Yeah. So I called Danny. That's like, uh, he goes
Me and Ryan are partners. So we pay your commission together. I have you to check
But ryan doesn't know if he wants to give you the money. I go the same ryan. I chased down the stairs with the knife
Yeah, yeah, doesn't know do I have to fucking remind
I'll bring two knives this time. I called them up and he paid me my money and then we didn't do business
Joey two knives. That's how I didn't fucking that's how my neon career ended, but I loved it
Danny really knew what Danny was right now today
I could look you in the eye. Danny's Danny feebles is one of the top three neon people in the country
He can make anything. That's cool. He just uh, the neon business went downhill a little bit. Yeah, but his
Cuban his family goes back
To 1920 in cuba making neon
Wow, like it was a family business in cuba. They were known
For neon febles neon company or yeah, yeah
Febles something he showed me all the stuff and how I got involved with him was read snorkel
And he'd show me all the neon magazines where they featured his work
Yeah, like he would show me like the industry standard magazines for neon. They probably don't have them now
Yeah, right, but every month he would send in a picture. He always they always would put
A picture of his work and he's established as one of the best in the country hands down
For a long time. They were flying them all over the country. He just is a little
Crazy, so that opportunity arose if I shoot a special maybe I'll just do the backdrop will be del re
neon del re like
Neon looks just so cool. It's funny because you mentioned the original room. Yeah
When mitzi would
Feature would showcase you she put the lights on purposely. Oh, yeah
It was a different and she leave the lights on a little bit to let people know it was a showcase
Yeah, that's how they do it now. She was a freak about that. Yeah, they still do that
But if you are on stage
And one of those lights buzzed. Yeah
I don't give a fuck if you would jerry sign fellow bill burr
If bill burr is up there show came from uh chose
Show casing for mitzi sure. Yeah, and the kennison light would go
Oh, it does that she would go
Scratch them off sam don't like them. Oh sam don't like like
Your career
Would rest neon if that fucking neon buzzed you were done bad electricity if any of that neon buzz
Yeah, you were on stage
Whether it was that one a louis and the sun
Can you imagine
Oh, no, no, they don't like him. You know, you're done. She would say the room didn't like you. That's it. The room
Once the room didn't like you
It looks like you better fucking go showcase over at the lab fight the room
The neon and it's that's how fucking much she believed in the neon
There was a while where the blue star because that tells you you're done
It was wired kind of weird. So instead even looking at the blue star you could just hear it come on and go
Yeah, and you go, oh the blue lights on now. I used to never even look at it. Isn't that wild?
It's but I just remembered when you were talking about neon that mitzi sure
That's a great story fucking tremendous. I don't know that room doesn't like you
I don't know how many nights I would be hosting and she'd go show me the lineup and sit next to me you
Show show show show and then she would sit next to me. Who's going up? Oh, I don't like his name not tonight
Then she would tell there was time she would go. Oh
What's that name there?
Tyrone. Oh
That's what I need. Mosh vats is here. Oh, you know, she would say little things like that
Fucking I don't need mosh vats is here. Oh, look at this guy. He's handsome. I'm gonna have him showcase
handsome, but if that fucking light if that neon buzzed
While you were on stage. Oh, I don't know how many times she'd say to me
The room doesn't like him. That's a crazy one. That's a bumper sticker and then the kind then I'd have to go downstairs
Oh comics would come up to me and go. What did she say? What did she say? She liked you
No
What can I say to a comic? I would never bust a comic balls away because that's
I couldn't I would never lie to the comic. I wouldn't say
You know, she says oh, this guy's terrible. Yeah, I wouldn't say that to the comic. I go. She liked you
Yep, she really liked you. You think she better than that wouldn't see him anymore. They didn't get passed
I get a lot of emails from people and I'm just like 10 years in and they'll say can you look at my set or listen to my music?
and tell me what you think
And it's just so
Double-edged, so you can't I don't do it. I don't do it either. I don't judge that
I don't all because it's if you have a set don't send it to me. I'll put a thumbs up
But I will not watch it. It doesn't have uh, like
A connection. You know how many people just a connection. You know how many people probably thought that you or I were
Terrible or something when we were started. Yeah, well, I still do and it's not about that. It's about
Are you getting off on it? Are you enjoying it? Are you doing it for you?
That's that's what it's about. Uh, I'm not a
Critic or a teacher or anything. I just learn every day that I'm on and that's what you got to do
You got to learn every day that you're on you're not gonna be
What am I gonna what am I gonna say?
man, that was terrible
that's not gonna help anybody
or that was great and
You know, it's just a tough way. You just gotta it doesn't matter what I think or joey things or we or anybody
It's just get out there and do it
You know, it's it's bizarre to that people want you to tell them. What do you think of it? It's just
It it doesn't matter
What I think do you dig it?
I have never
When people send me those
It's embarrassing for me
I don't really like judging comics not at all. I don't really
If you want me to look at your set your 10 minutes set for conan. Yeah, or something. I'll give it a shot
But if you've ever seen any of my 60 minute sets, they're not
Nothing to write home about so how can I judge your hour? Yeah, you know before the special still before this
podcast started we spoke about
Bill Burr special
It just blew me the fuck away. Yeah, just blew me the fuck away. I thought that
Listen, both of those specials
are sensational and
I'm proud to be a stand-up and have them represent us. You know, obviously we're not at that level to do that
To have that representation
But both those specials to ship hell both of them took them back to old school comedy 101. Yeah, which is the most important thing
Not to forget who the fuck you are and who the hoop lies
I know who's writing jokes
To get a television show and I know who's writing jokes to make you laugh
That's a big difference. I know who's writing jokes to please you
Which I'm not here to fucking please you. I'm here to make you laugh
And once you see that being executed in the special
Your dick gets hard. Yeah, you know, there's specials I watch and you're saying what
You want me to hear?
That's great. I'm happy that you took the time to write it. But that's not what I you know when you're catering yourself to what you want to do
That's not stand-up
That's not stand-up
Those two specials
Let me know that stand-up is still alive and well in this country whether there's judgment whether there's uh
You know, they're not pc culture
PC culture is never going to ruin stand-up comedy never never not as long as
Bill Burke keeps doing what he's doing
Chappelle does what he does
Rogan does what he does and you as a comic continually do yeah what you need to do on stage
You're not censoring yourself. Those days are done. If you want to scroll listen
I got a lot of shit going on
But obviously as you guys have noticed
There's no tv show
And guess what after thinking about it and after constant thought I don't ever want to fucking do a tv show
I don't ever want them to scroll down my twitter and say my twitter is contaminated. You understand me?
Yeah, my twitter is unhirable. Yeah, and that's how I want it. Yeah, that's exactly how I want my twitter
I don't want to get hired now. We're firing people
Because of something they said in episode 148 of a podcast
Yeah, well, you better listen to episode 99 of my this fucking podcast
Where i'm torturing lee and telling lee to put his dick in his fucking neighbor's mouth while she's sleeping
You know what i'm saying?
So what are the chances of me getting on any network show anymore as a go as a guest star and a co-star?
Absolutely. Yeah, they'll hire me. They won't know when I come on tv
Some of you'll send a video of me saying chain
Fucking doing fucking acid with lee or something. Yeah, do you know who you're putting on tv?
You know, I had an email once from a comic
Sending me an email that
Fuck you. You're over 50. You're still doing mushrooms. I just thought about that the other day. Oh, yeah
And i'm like he's like you haven't changed. You're still eating mushrooms. I'm like
Yeah, I can't eat like yeah, what what who said that's a kid thing
Yeah, and he's this guy's a loser a born loser. Yeah, he has a btl tattoo of his fucking forehead
What's up to you and he was accusing me over you haven't changed you still eat fucking mushrooms. Jesus christ
I didn't even think I was gonna be 50. Yeah, I never thought I was gonna make 50
Yeah, yeah, right if i'm eating the mushroom more fucking power to you. Who are you to fucking judge me?
Yeah, who the fuck are you to judge me? You know fucking crazy people
I I just don't have uh, I got no time for any of that shit. You're 50 something years old
Yeah, I got no time if they want to fucking put on a memo that dean delray said
Something wrong on stage. Guess what happened you sell triple the tickets. Oh, yeah, they made that sign that live kids career
Oh, it's now people gonna go see him here. Not only that but his podcast numbers will quadruple quadruple
Who cares? Yeah, he wouldn't want to be on sign that live anyway. Yeah
By the time you got on something better career now, it's a better career now. Yeah, they did him a fucking favor
I tweeted that they did him a favor. It's like one years to put the stickers on the records. We all wanted that one
uh, you know profanity
Not good for uh families and all that the pmrc
Immediately you're like, I'll take that record. I'll take that record. I gotta have that
You know, I watched that documentary again the one that billy
made about steroids
You know
I go back to that line that
Manny Ramirez hit 20 home runs
He started working with the doctor in florida the next year. He hit 39 home runs
Then the following season he tested positive for steroids and got a 55 game
Suspension, am I right Lee?
It sounds right. Yeah, he got was it when he was a dodger. I'm sorry. Let me check
It was one of those teams
I think it was a boston then he became a dodger and they started booing him out in dodger stadium
Yeah, yeah, but it's so weird when alex rodriguez contacted the same dr. Bosch
Yeah, this guy when he came up to miami
He said alex rodriguez opened the door and immediately said I want the same stuff you gave manny
Yeah, even though he tested positive
It was when he was a dodger. He was when he was a dog. Yeah for 55 games. That's the shit people want
Yeah, you know when you're a heroin addict, you know, you want the shit that killed. Oh, yeah
Oh, yeah, you know when the bad. Yeah, the bad shit's growing up in the street
People are lining up when you get it. It won't kill me down by fucking. What's that street in san francisco?
Mission street mission street people would run down half and kill three people even better
We all want to dabble with the fucking danger danger. We all want to you know
I've always loved the dangerous shit the dangerous music the dangerous comedy the dangerous cars
motorcycles
Always always never loved comfort. It says comfort is a killer
comfort is a killer man
You know, I gotta tell you brother you
Have kept me going over the years the last couple years because we're three years apart difference
And I admire you for what you've been doing over the years
Now man, thanks you go out there you go out there you get my respect
You know because I know that
You're one of those dudes that relentless now
I could see this in the 36 year old's heart
I could see this in a 38 year old guy, you know 38 38's a serious age. Yeah, you gotta make a fucking move
Yeah, but you're 53
You were 40 something when you started 44 44 when you started comedy
You had nothing to lose
You embraced it. You already knew the patience it required for music
You knew that wasn't gonna happen overnight
It was sort of the same but not really. Oh, yeah, totally different or the same
But not really you're still dealing with people who are trying to rob you. Yeah, you're never good enough
They want this they want that you're too old and you gotta figure out you're not good looking
You gotta figure out how to avoid the mind landmines. Yeah, and you've done it
You know, you've done a fucking great job with it. So
It's weird that sometimes I'm like fucking here. I am with a six year old watching fucking tv
And deans walking the streets in new york
He's walking from the spring steam concert at the garden to go to a 1 a.m. Spot
At the comedy fucking underground. What's the seller seller? Yeah, in my boots. They always have it get your corns
Oh my god, you got those fucking kamikaze boots and you walk 10 miles with them
What do your feet fucking feel like I walk with sneakers in my fucking
I have to go to dottics and yeah, if I go to like chicago
This week, I think was the easiest flights I ever took in my life. Oh man all four gates
We're right next to baggage clamp. Oh
It never happens that way. Oh my god
Like I remember going through security and I could see my gate from the security right there. That's that best, right?
Wow
Honio, yeah, because we were flying into dallas
Yeah, and that's not a bueno airport when you go through dallas
You better bring your roller skate and you might have your endurance up just flew there with mirror
And I was like, wow that one in a manna. What big chicago's big
Oh here, man
You got to be in shape there
Especially you got to connect them on american airline
And they land you on c and you got to walk the h what the fuck
That's you see that little black guy with a smile on his face whistling
Three handicapped people on that little cart you get on that stop them with a 20. Yeah
You just remember in the 80s you were walking through a barn taking a bag of cocaine out
Do this to the hot chicks like this the hot chicks would be circled huddled around with guys
Trying to sell a dick in real estate and you coming and cut through the chase get out of the way
Yeah, yeah that cocaine on her face
And wiggle that coke and next thing that you just walked out of there with the broad. It's the same fucking thing
Oh, yeah, the guy with the cart man. I jump on that. I jump. I give him a 20 until I listen
We're going to the wheels follow
Yeah, these three ugly white people with the canes kick them off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is non-stop. Those canes are fake
Yeah, those canes are fake
This is non-stop
I love it man. No, we're talking before the podcast about
The
Vinyl incident last week. Oh, yeah, you know, I love alex jones
I love alex jones because I know him personally and I know he says some crazy shit
But every once in a while he's
You know 70% of what alex jones says
You agree with and then from time to time he throws a wrench in there and you're like, Jesus christ, you were doing so good
Yeah, yeah, I've been a fan of eddie trunks. I don't know how long and i'm still a fan eddie trunks, you know
I've heard him fucking say some brilliant stuff on that trunk thing on monday and
I watched him with jimmy florentine and the other guy on the heavy metal show. Yeah, john jamison
I'm really a fan of his since we started the podcast because he does it solo
He takes calls. He fends off savages. He fends off retards
I mean, he's got some retarded people call him this week was good
Yeah, but there was a topic that came up the last two weeks and he attacked it on the internet
and it was vinyl
that he didn't see the value of
Buying a cd for 10 bucks
A paying 40 bucks
For vinyl right and two days later
somebody tweeted at him
That this was the first year that vinyl since 1986
it's 2019
And since 1986, this is the first year ever
That vinyl has outsold cds this year
Right, well it took 14 plus 19
It's crazy something years
for vinyl to make a comeback
now
Since 86 84 we haven't been selling vinyl that means right
When do you think the downslope for music started? I mean, I don't think it started
once
No, because motley crew and guns and roses are dominating selling through the late 90s selling big
Yeah selling big. Yeah
Even g&r. I mean
Allison chains and all that the grunge selling big
you know
I uh
I saw eddie
He tweeted yesterday because they
the tool record
The actual physical cd of tool and the physical cd of taylor swift
Has made the industry
rethink
Maybe we shouldn't get rid of the cd yet because it's sold so many
And he was tooting his horn like see i'm telling you it's where it's at but
I don't believe in the cd. I sold 2000 cds five years ago and four years ago. Sorry, and I was so happy
I got rid of them
Because once I saw they weren't going to be in the cars anymore and on computers
It's when the industry decides to kill off a
uh a platform
Now once you don't have the player
Sure, they're gonna sell
You know best buy will have one player for years and years. I'm sure you can buy a vcr somewhere right now
I know you can but
They're not quality
It's just a piece of junk in the corner once the players are out of the computer in the car
I was like this is a dead format
for me
And and they were just I got to get rid of these because if I if I don't have a player
I always put it in the computer
And then let it play onto the speakers in my house or in a car
And if you don't have it in the car, it's like it's a death to me of of a of a product
No player
You know, I mean maybe
Maybe years from now it turns around like vinyl did and there's you know, selling turntables all over the place
But if you don't have a player for years
Uh, what what are you gonna do with this stuff?
And and I just read today amazon has released a new platform
With this insane high uh flax streaming
That's even bigger than title bigger files and neil young was jumping on it like finally the streaming
Is going to be incredible and I think the better and better the streaming gets
the
All the product is going to be gone
Because it gets down into people who are living in smaller places now because they can't afford to live anywhere
Especially in new york
And all that you can't have your thousand cds or two thousand records if you live in a studio apartment
So once the streaming gets bigger and bigger
As the files, it's I think all the product might be gone
I mean, that's just what I think
Well, it's funny because I don't have a fucking I love music. Yeah
But I don't have a cd in my car not at all in this car and I've had this car for two years
No player, right? Nope. I don't know if I have a player. Yeah the check and see. Yeah. Yeah, that's hilarious
But I have serious. Yeah, and I have you know, uh, the
The grunge station. I got uh, I got ozzy's boneyard. I got the other one. I got
Studio 54 radio. Yeah, I don't really need
22 cds in my car anymore too much shit in your car
I like I like listening to radio to break it up a little bit. Yeah when I'm at home
I listen to old shit and repetitive shit and I have like a thing that's straight up on rotation on youtube
It gets monotonous. You know what I'm saying? Yep, and it includes everything from tony benet to
Sinatra to to guns and roses to
fucking allison chains to
Audio slave. I mean, I got every sound guard. I mean, I got everybody on there zeppelin. I was listening to this morning
I went to let that be rock
AC DC all the one song I'll let that be rocked. I just not bad boy boogie
Overdose overdose man go down. Yeah, all that's on there
So I like when I get in the car to breath the fresh air
To get in the car and listen to something I haven't heard or push push in the bush or whatever the fuck that
I believe in that too because we get into a rut
Even though I had thousands of records, I would always play like the same hundred like oh here it is
Ironmaid numbered the beast, but when the serious xm I feel is really underrated. I got it on my phone now
and
Man, it just the mystery of what's next is great like oh, yeah, I haven't heard this in years
You know like I listen to that studio 54 channel. It is incredible. It's incredible. It's incredible
They'll just break out like shake your booty out of nowhere shake shake shake sometimes they play really bad
Of course and it's hilarious
But and you giggle. Yeah, I remember this shit fucking cubans love this shit on bergen line. They would dance. This is terrible
Yeah, but I like to break it up myself. So do I I feel this this is what I feel
I think my generation
We were so connected to the album
Yeah, if you were a musical fan and you
We were so connected to the album
You know, I can't I've been coming in here on tuesdays at four and doing a podcast with my daughter
Oh, yeah, we tape it on the phone. It's not even a real podcast. We have two fake sponsors
I give her 10 bucks
But part of the process is after we do the podcast we play records. Yeah, I showed her how to you know, she likes crazy train
She likes war pigs, you know go through different albums
But I see her her face lights up
When she opens up the album and I break it down for her
That musical experience was something that we don't get anymore the album
I think that it let an artist be more
It challenges an artist more a little bit more
like
When they came to me and they were like, you know, what cover do you want? I didn't have to say
They're like, we paid some artists 20 000 through that sketch on me on that one fucking cd
Yeah, you know, I didn't want that fucking thing on my cd, but I had no choice. Right. It's kind of jump out
It's gonna jump and I'm thinking back to back in black. Yeah whole argument with they didn't want to release it because it was black
It almost never got released. Yeah, because the cover was black and they see dc fought for it
But I like the album cover because it made the artist be creative towards the album
It let you open it up
And see what line of notes he put in there. Oh, yeah lyrics to the songs or
Sometimes they gave you a treat that actually took pictures of the original page where they wrote the lyrics on love that shit
They would give you it was more
I'll never forget when I did the longest yard
And they sent me the dvd of it
And I opened it up
And it was just a fucking thing
And I thought about how many fucking pictures I took on that fucking set all right how many hours of fucking pictures
You know every day there was 10 fucking photographers taking pictures from everywhere on that set
How many team pictures we fucking took how many pictures they took of us eating and fucking sitting there and cracking jokes and laughing
All of us on up on a bench or at the hotel. They were even taking pictures
You're like, where the fuck and I open up this fucking cd and there's not a fucking thing in there
God not a fucking thing in there
Not a thing in there
Zero thought into the art zero thought into the art
But then I come here and I pick up wish you were here
Oh, yeah, and you look in there the guys on fire and on the water brothers lot
And you know you could and then even into the outdoor
Led Zeppelin gave you a different one thing
They gave you the album covers you get a dry sponge
Yeah, and go through the thing and it would turn different colors. They gave you something
They gave you that little extra connection. That's what the tattoos
Kiss the tattoos. Oh that connection has been lost. Yeah between
The musician and the fan anymore tool went all out tool did a $40 cd
It's out right now. How's it look? It sounds great. I think the album is great fucking thing, dude. You open it up
It's got a booklet with all these photos in the middle
It's got a player a cd like a player inside there
That you press and it just plays like these electronic loopy sounds and everything
This thing is it's a masterpiece of of packaging. I can't they're gonna win
A grammy on the packaging hands down because they do a grammy on packaging. You never see it
It's the one they do like a week before a grammy packaging. Bye-bye, but this thing
Is on and josh martin at stone at the store has two of them because they sold out the first run and they made another run
unbelievable that and that g and r box set they did last year
This fucking monster leather box that opened up and had duff showed me and had secret passages
Like well, look at this a necklace and all this shit in there. That stuff is amazing. That's what we're missing now
That's the shit and you know what?
People like me would pay for that. Yep instead of a concert ticket. Yeah at this price. You're right
You know at this, you know, I would pay for that momentum
Momento it has all the fucking albums and posters and pictures and necklaces
That's kind of neat. That's what's been lost
I think in music in the last 30 years, you know that little
Last connection that we don't have I try to keep it with comedy
With comedy I tried to keep that connection. Yeah, that's what's good about being a comedian today that if we get on
Modern what's the show on abc modern family? Yeah, and we got on the most popular show on tv for three years
It never ends after that
The fans or the people that tune to us now
We could communicate with them on twitter or facebook link and then
Whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah youtube
That's what's different from us
To say somebody like jerry seinfeld had it totally different now
We get on a show like right now. Gabriel could do those 10 episodes
And get online and talk to people about the show and what they live tweet the show and live tweet the show
It's a different. I like that. I do too. I like that that I really enjoy
I got the guitar picks I bring to the shows to give people that came out. I got the
Grateful dean picks. I got stickers and and there everybody goes. How can I buy this?
I go no, they're they're free when you come to a show
I just give people stuff. They come up. Man. I love your podcast. Oh, here's a pick. They go. Wow
They love that shit
And I know they love it because I love that shit when I was young and I got a pick at a concert
Ted newton threw a pick out. I'd fucking be on the ground
Digging through people's dirty sneakers. I got the pick. I had a couple picks. I just remember who picks they went
Oh, I got I had one that I was really happy about I can't remember who the fuck I got some cars picks
Actually, I'm gonna tweet them up today. They say the car is on them. And when I saw him
I was me and this guy eric wettenkamp. We were the scavengers drumstick went
I was on the ground you'd find money a pick some dude's fucking wallet
You're like, all right payday, you know, like oh, I was crazy at shows. I got picks
I got I got a pick collection. I'll knock you out, man. I love them. They're all in this word box
You ready for chicago next weekend? Oh, I'm ready for chicago. It's gonna be insane. Have you have you ever done that theater before?
No, no way
Dude, I can't wait. I did with rogan. I almost fell off the balcony. Oh, shit. What I'm doing cleveland tomorrow
Me rogan
Little ester. Oh
And somebody else did that theater
and it was
spectacular. Oh, man that theater made me fall in love with comedy again
We put little s club. She blew it up
Little ester was there with red band. I think there was a couple of us. But that theater
Just that theater always wait you go in there. Oh, I can't wait next friday me you and kate quigley
At the fucking chicago theater. I've done some amazing places with you, dude
I was thinking about that haps theater when we did that. They had the turntable backstage
How cool was that? We're playing fucking records drinking expresso's and cheese smoking dope and shit
They know how to take care of you. I got was great
And then uh, we did that good one. Uh, we did another one before that too. We did minnesota and more walkie
Yeah, 420. Yeah 420. Yeah. Yeah
This one's gonna be great. We're doing sand fran
What about when you fucking we were in the green room from the new york county festival
And you came downstairs and you go you got to see this. Oh, yeah, just through a table the fight
And there was a fist fight right in front of you
That was crazy
I got them full brawl
I'm ready. We're doing sand fran and a second show got at it, right? Yes
My buddy just told me goes. Oh, I slept on the tickets. They had two in the back row
I was like, oh, I don't know and I went back to get them there sold out and then there was another show at it
I go, okay. You got like fifth row. I got score. That's a perfect weekend because it's right before fucking new years
Oh, yeah, I'm coming back. We're gonna not have a podcast that week. Yeah, I'm going skiing with the family skiing
I don't know if I'll get on show. It is skiing. I don't know if I'm getting again
That's a youtube video for four million hits. I'm gonna go local. Oh, yeah. Oh, uh, big bear
Yeah, one of these around here. That's great skiing for two families
They have a house up there
Yeah, I'm gonna stay in sand fran
and uh
I'm gonna go see dead and co
two nights when
They're playing
Supposedly this is what I hear
And not confirmed yet allegedly
But I hear they're going to be doing the brand new golden state warriors arena
Like 29th or sorry 30 31
So i'm gonna stay and then there's this giant
Do you remember when tower records had those big record?
Up painted on the front. They'd put up whoever the records were
They're big huge wood album covers. Yes on the front. Yeah
One of my favorite bands ever is the mother hips and their 30 year band and their uh
They're they're they're one of my favorites underground kind of hippie neil young bad ass band
Their first album cover was mounted at tower in sand fran and then they took it down. They kept it
And it's been in storage every since and the guitar player is giving it to me
So i'm gonna rent a truck a u-haul
And drive it to the house here and have it in my house this fucking
30 year old
Big giant wood album cover in my hut
So i'm gonna make it a weekend
Hang out with some friends. I'm gonna go check out olympic guitars
They make handmade guitars for like the dead and everybody
And maybe do a podcaster them. I'm gonna make a weekend out of it. You and I up there eating Chinese food
We're gonna tear up some uh, what's that place we went we go, uh, I forget that after it's open after with the potato
Yeah, we gotta go there
And uh, we're doing kalusa friday. Yeah, and then saturday night that i love that weekend
I love going out that weekend nobody's alive. That's crazy. He's out of work
Nobody really has to go to fucking work or nothing and people are festive and people are fucking ready to go
They've been in the house. It's fucking tuesday
singing christmas carols
Arguing with people at best buy. Yeah, you know, they're done their fucking job is done now. They're just it's a countdown to a new year
They're gonna lose weight. They're gonna walk. They're gonna take that pimple off their forehead. Yeah, you know, everything happens in five days
It's a great day, but no i'm excited for next week. I can't wait to eat a fucking beef sandwich
I can't wait cbd lions meeting us all of them lines gonna be there to meet us
They hit me today. They said the whole team's coming. By the way, hold on one second real quick. Yeah
Let me do a quick little read here. Well, I got you here real quick
I want to talk to you people real quick the church. What's happened now one of our sponsors is policy genius
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Back to our conversation here. I'm sorry about that. I love policy genius. I think they're a great little product there
No, I look I need some health health care is what I need. I'm actually getting ready to sign up for the california
uh
california health care
We are opening back up in october
The sign-ups i'm gonna get on that. I got a hold off. I think i'm gonna be level one this year
I'm gonna fix this little tooth. Look at this little tooth. It looks like a baby tooth. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah
So I can see they're gonna yank that out. Yeah, they're gonna yank that out
You know when I was a kid I went to the doctor. He had a cavity. You did
Now you go to the dentist and then you need a root canal immediately, but the tooth don't even bother me
It's going to in the six months. Well, I'll come back then. Yeah. Yeah, I'll come back then
Why are you taking me for 800 now and then you know, you can't go to the dentist today
The the dentist used to be a simple thing. Oh, it's a fucking dentist the dentist looked at you and said, hmm
You haven't been brushing lately. You've been eating candy. Have you not? Yes, I have
Okay, you have four cavities. We'll get them going
You paid 280 or something and you went home now
A little chinese lady comes in the back the dentist disappeared. I'll be back
And all of a sudden like a filipina comes in those people will say anything
And excuse me, mr. Joe. Yeah. Yeah, we want to talk to you about what you need today
You need to do this and this and this and this deep cleaning. That's the scam of the center all the way deep on you
So it's cost 6 000. Oh, but your insurance covers the 40 percent of that and you're deductible
So your counter pollution would be 3200. What if I'm just having a fucking cavity? Yeah
What do I need a root canal and pulling shit out for you? Don't bother me. Yeah
We'll see in six months there. It's going to I don't give a fuck about six months today
What can we do today? Listen brush it
Pull out the fucking plaque and let's fucking clean it up. That's it
They try to scare you too every time they go deep cleaning you got deep plaque in there and it gets into your heart valves
I'm like, wait
Who came up with that one like five years ago. They're like, well, tell them it'll be heart attack
Everybody's afraid of heart attack. I take garlic and parsley Pablo Francisco recipe. He's still ticking. I'll still tick
Pablo's made it this far on garlic and fucking parsley. He takes three pills at night. It takes all the plaque
All the fucking maluchia sticks everything out of your heart valves
And you're fucking you're walking around like door is day the next day clicking your fucking heels
Jumping up and down. I have my dentist on and he told all the scams
He just ratted all the scams out. Well, they just started with that shit a couple years ago
If you don't clean your teeth it affects your heart. That's what they did. I've read about it
I don't know how much of the scams. Gums or something, right? Yeah, deep cleaning of the gums. Look, I'm sure all right
Whatever you got some plaque down there and then but I mean everybody's afraid of heart attack
So they just like well, just juice that up a little more here and then they charge you like
2,500 deep cleaning you're like what and then oh you need to gargle with this a week
This is a $700 juice because you don't want to get an infection after we do the deep cleaning
You're like and then you go out and your your dentist has the brand new lamborghini
You're going. Oh, that's the fucking deep clean is deep cleaned my asshole for your lamborghini
The green lamborghini fucker, you know
I never experienced that before until I moved to LA. Yeah, they actually took me out of the chair once
And brought me to another room to do the sale. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they do
They take you out of the chair and they're like, oh, this is what I left. I was like, no, fuck no
Yeah, they got pictures
They got all these photos. Look at this guy right here. He didn't get the deep cleaning
Oh man, it's jaw rotted away. He's got no jaw now. You can't replace a jaw and you're just going. What the fuck is this?
Hey, I got hearing aids. Oh, yeah, how are they? I got hearing aids
I told my wife I said
you know
I don't know if you people believe me or not, but I'm gonna tell you something whenever I think of different situations
I always go back to the american family
I always go back to the american family
What would the regular american family do?
if you know
It's very tough to have a family today
Both parents have to work
You know, you get a flat it throws you off for a fucking month. Totally. I've been there. I know the fucking feeling, you know
I went two weeks ago. I mean I'm guys. I'm a comic. I don't know about
Hearing aids or any other type of aid, you know, you go they test you
Then they sell you, you know
You're sitting there and I told my wife last night I go
You know, I'm I thought I was a fucking criminal. I'm a felon
The day I got the booklet from sag that I had insurance
I remember going what are they talking about?
Like I nobody ever gave me insurance. I had insurance in one of the unions. I worked with like, you know, right insurance and
But what are you talking about insurance?
And then they made me fault this paperwork and you get vested when you're 45
If you're in the union 10 years
And you hit 45 you're automatically
Vested and you're guaranteed level two insurance. Oh man. Yeah, so my insurance is guaranteed
I don't have to you know, everybody up to 10 year mark. Yeah, like if you're 18 and you get to sag
Yeah, every year your insurance is based on what you make right exactly. So the first bracket is 23 grand
Yeah, it's brutal now and that's like 38 three grand or something and to get level one is like 38 grand
I don't know exactly right my wife said that I'm she goes. You're always eligible for two just from residual
Thank god. I shot all that shit
Early on back when the money was made because those all residuals all count towards your sag earnings every year
Wow, but I went to that thing
It's nobody's business
What I paid for those hearing aids, but I think I got fucked in the ass. Oh, yeah, but I'll tell you what
I can't imagine if I didn't have insurance. Oh, right?
So right away. I think of the american family now. They're only guaranteed for three years
Whoa, you got to buy a brand new set every fucking three years. Is that right? Yeah, so the next time I go to costco
Oh, yeah
Yeah, they got him there. Oh, you crazy. You know, I looked up costco last night
I was strangling myself. Oh, well, I would have saved off the bet but the doctor gives you referral there
Yeah, I'll send it to costco. They'll send it to the most expensive place right taking your fucking johnny goomba
And you know, you got to pay but on the way home. I told my wife I go
Think about the american family. Oh that doesn't have insurance and he has to pay for these every three fucking years
Yeah, you know, think about that. So my heart. I'm always, you know, the other night we were talking about
Yankee stadium. Did you read that article last week? Oh, well, there was an article that came on the new york times about a guy who
Got a notice from the stadium from the yankee organization that prices were going to go up
So he said he's had it. They've raised him 40 percent
40 in three years 40 goes up in a fan for a baseball game. There's been a fan since I was a kid
He goes, so I told him I thought about it
They talked to my wife or whatever the story was and he contacted
The new york yankees and told him he didn't want next year, but he wanted
Playoff tickets this year. He didn't want to play off tickets, right?
But they based the playoff. Oh, bullshit off the season ticket for next year
That's both. So if you don't get the season tickets for next year
The price is double. So he goes he went back the next day and they took 1100 out of his account or something
And he wrote on twitter. He wrote this whole thing the yankees have been a fan. I love you
New york city is my heart, but
That's it. I'm done with you yankees never again. You got me. I'm happy you got your 1100 and a 92 filing fee
Oh, something crazy. Don't quote me on this. Yeah, right
It was something crazy and he wrote that that's it. That's the last time they'll never go to yankee stadium again
And that he'll always go away to watch it. Yeah easy there a trip
To st. Louis and watch him or something and right away. I thought about the american family
Yeah, you know like new york ain't bad enough. You know how many fucking baseball games I went through growing up
It breaks my heart it breaks my heart compared to what a kid goes today
That's shea stadium. I knew it like the back of my head. Yeah seven dollar ticket five dollar ticket
Me and my mom dollar night dollar night bat night, you know, whatever today that that whole thing like now when I do things
I think about the american family. Yeah, me and lee always goof around about sushi. Dan. Yeah, me and lee love that
Yeah, we love the happy hour. Yeah
The one uh on sunset they have sunset in the valley. Yeah, yep, you know, yeah
Happy hour from oh my god. We always I always call them legal to happy out. Yeah, man. Yeah, I do the uh
The taco tuesdays man everywhere in town
Last night I did it. I did neil brennan's show at the west side taco tuesday at dollar fifty tacos immediately give me four
I eat like a king for under ten dollars
You know like great tacos. What's the place to silver lake when you make the turn on to
From sunset where you hop right by the
Yeah, it's the silver lake they do comey there once in a while. Oh, yeah, those are pickles in them
Yeah, the place on the right there. It's like, yeah, I've done comedy there. So, yeah
That place is great taco tuesday, but it's very obscure. Yeah, I have like ground beef with pickles
They have both before you go. Oh, yeah, try the tacos. Yeah taco. They're completely different from what you're used to
I'll try but it's not bad if you got a date. You go down there
Yeah, I used to take me there for alpha taco tuesday. We destroy 80 fucking tacos
Oh, man, I mean, I remember I used to go to sizzler on monday's they would have the all you could eat ribs
beef ribs, I think it was like
999 or 10 dollars and dude, we'd go in there and just
rifle beef rib the big ones is
They're not there no more in hollywood
Yeah, I think it is still there dude. No, it's not. I think it still is
Look at that. Lee. I think I just saw her recently. I remember one time I was living with my girlfriend
It was next to the sizzler. I mean one of my biggest movie roles in the beginning
Yeah, it was a chaspom and terry movie with a bunch of stars that I forget the name of it now
women versus men
Women versus men women versus men. It was a one day shoot
And they paid me nine hundred and thirty six dollars. I thought I was the clampets
I thought I was the clampets. Yeah rich before the money the check even came in the mail
I took my wife to sizzler. We thought we were fucking the mafia
With the peel and eat those fucking Katrina shrimp before Katrina. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, no
I don't think they're there anymore. I think no
No, no, they took down sizzler because me and my wife cried
Because we talked about they weren't western. I saw the one on western recently. Yes robot. I was like, well, look at that
We ate there a lot. God, it's gone. Huh. It was the one on the volcano. It was yeah, right?
Yeah, it was next door to the Suzuki dealer the motorcycles. That's it. That's gone too. That's gone too
Yeah, that's all gone. Yeah, Suzuki. I think is gone as far as motorcycles. I don't see those guys anywhere
I see Honda
But I don't see Suzuki anywhere. I wonder if they're still selling dirt bikes and shit
What they're doing this economy Chicago next Friday night. Yeah, we ready to go. I'm ready. Got Kate Quigley. Yeah
We got fucking Dean Del Rizzi. Can't wait. We got your fucking uncle Joey. Yeah before anything real quick
Let me talk to you people about something. All right. I gotta talk to you about we spoke at the beginning of the show
Listen, man, you're young
People will listen to this show a young
You know, I'm 56. I'm an old piece of shit, but you guys are young
Now you've heard us talk about hymns and how they're helping guys look their best
If you haven't yet, it's time to see what they're about
Number one the problem is that 66 percent of men start to lose their hair by age 35
And once you notice standing here, it could be too late. I started losing my hair about two years ago
It's going quick, but my eyebrows are growing like a mother
To make up the difference. So is that hairline slowly starting to move backwards any bald spots? Yes
Me listen, I'm 56 my hair served its purpose. Yeah, I'm married. What do I need fucking hair for now?
In fact, I want to lose my hair. Look like a fucking zombo so I can scare people
Make my wife feel bad for marrying me boy. He got old quick
He got your young
But you mother you you little savages are young
So the best way to prevent more hair loss is to do something about it while you still have it
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Next week. We'll be back with a video for you savages. I want to thank dean delray
I want to thank the christ killer, but most importantly. I want to thank you guys
Do not forget chicago next friday night
And i'm told i got kansas city to the uptown theater and the paramount theater and motherfucking denver
So get ready iraq. We had to add a show in denver too. I love you savages
Stay black. Have a great weekend. Thank you for tuning in to the church of what's happened now. Thank you very much dean
Take this motherfucking mule
Oh
Who's gonna tell you when
It's
Who's gonna tell you things
Are so great
You can't go
Thinking
Nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home
Tonight
Who's gonna pick you up
When you fall
Who's gonna hang it up
When you fall
Who's gonna pay attention to your dream
Who's gonna look your ears when you scream
You can't go on
Thinking
Nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home
Tonight
Yeah
Who's gonna hold it down
When you lose
Who's gonna come around when you break
You can't go on
Thinking
Nothing's wrong
Who's gonna drive you home
Tonight
You know you can't go on
Thinking
Who's gonna drive you home
Tonight