Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #720 - Dean Delray

Episode Date: September 19, 2019

Dean Delray, comedian, actor, and the host of the "Let There Be Talk" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:    Policy Genius - Policy Genius helps you compare and find the right home, auto, life or disability insurance for you. Check them out at www.policygenius.com   ForHims- Go to ForHims.com/joey to get your complete hair kit for just $5 while supplies last.    MyBookie.ag -  Use code promo Church to get a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000. Check out Joey's Instagram @madflavors_world on Thursday for a new video where Joey teaches you how to gamble.  

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touring bands Fucking iron maiden on Saturday night out in John the week before this guy lives like my gay neighbor He don't fuck around you know I'm saying he's out there seven twenty four fifty-three years old What's your fucking excuse cocksucker? How are you doing? I'm good man? It's great to be back good Man, oh, I was thinking about it today. I played music like twenty five years and And had some great friends, but when I think about the comedy family that I got it's just insane, you know Love it. I wake up every morning and I go what the fuck And how did I get here and I think about 1994?

You know doing all these crazy fucking open mics them. I forget, you know, and then I go, okay That's how I got here. Yeah work work. You meet this you meet these people along the way and Some of them dropped off and some I'm stuck with it and You're stuck with them. They're your family, you know Somebody called me today and said I signed one of your friends Maz. Jabrani Well, you don't understand. He's not my friend Monster brawnies my family. Yeah, my surprise would give me a 20 when I needed one never told nobody You know saying my job Ronnie was my family. My job running time got me a commercial agent. My job, Ronnie, you know

You know, it's a shame when people go out You get help from Joe Rogan. I got help from Joe Rogan. We guess who got me my first agent Ari Shafir Guess who fucking got me on the show when Comedy Central wouldn't talk to me Ari Shafir. Yeah, you know saying to let me tell the stories I did to grow Everybody helps you everybody when people know you're all in They fucking lend the helping hand. That's true. This dude's all in that's true The fuck is one of us. You know saying he's not up here talking nonsense about directing or jumping out of a helicopter He's here at one in the morning grinding it out and that's you know, when the universe takes care, you know

So you're fortunate also. Oh man to get an education from Burr, Mark Marin You know, you got 22 different educations. Yeah, you Rogan Ian Edwards You know all all the guys. It's just it's I didn't know how tight you were with Ian. Yeah, I talked to that fucker every day like you You know, oh, yeah, I love him by the way. Yeah, and I think he's a Very underrated. I think he's deadly on stage. I think he's a brilliant writer. Yeah The sweetest guy you'll ever meet just the way he approaches you just a combo of him and Rogan Rogan does not like soccer People always thought that me and Rogan were funny together. Yeah, they're funny and now they have a thing going on Who falls asleep? Yeah on the plane. I saw that listen Rogan could fall asleep. I love him to death

Yeah, he's got something that none of us have he could turn it off anywhere. Yeah, he could turn it off I do the same thing man. You can yeah, I tell people people, you know, like I'll meet people and they go man I just can't sleep and I'm like if I stop moving for a minute. I'll go to sleep. No problem No problem. Can you sleep in coach because in first class I can understand I sleep in coach like a fucking demon Like I mean, I'm out as soon as the wheels are up. Oh, I'm out reason why you and me can't sleep as coaches We don't fit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you can't when you sleep on a tiny bed. Yeah, I'm gonna sleep You scared to fall asleep. We're gonna fall off. I got these new things Bose sent me They're you know, they got the noise canceling headphones

Whatever that these you pop them in their noise canceling then you choose what sound you want waterfalls Raindrops white noise anything and it's like I like the beginning of me so horny like yeah No, the guy's going oh socket to me. Oh To me socket to me they got it they got a They should make an app where you could do your own sounds, you know, it could be you like oh shit This time's I'm having a weird day and I would just turn on me so horny. Oh my 20 times just to hear the beginning It makes me laugh my ass off because that was from something I saw as a child Oh, yeah, that was like a black porno, right, right like in the 70s a sample to it. It's a sample

Yeah, I'm a black porno like oh socket to me Only black people Socket to me. Oh That shit's hilarious. That's something like babies got back. Remember that video sir mix a lot Baby got back, you know, well the video that video was hilarious. I still remember taking me so horny. Yeah I went out bought the album. Yeah, like all the cassette. I did something weird and I took it to a Chrysler Plymouth dealer A friend of mine there. Yeah, he was a Christian Ah, I always steal his pens when he was cutting the deal. Yeah, I'd steal his red parking pen

Yeah, he's like, where's my red parking pan? He would go nuts So I had to lighten up on the red park of pens for a while. So every time I had a customer I was like an old man I Put that Trying to sell a car the guy's like sitting at home with my dick. Come on I got my black book for my freak to call and he would start looking around like Couldn't he couldn't say what the fuck yeah for the old people. Yeah, so he would just look at all you know

I didn't go. I don't know Be so horny I love you and the old people would be sitting there Beating their heads but not listening to the lyrics and finally the old guy caught on and he's like look at that his wife Like and oh my god. I used to torture people with that song. Oh my god It's so funny when you're selling shit how you can't break your seller mode no matter what's going on I remember I was selling motorcycles and I was looking at this screen of this motorcycle Video in the shop, and then I didn't think anyone is around. I just farted and

The customer was right behind me and he goes Jesus He's got Jesus and my boss this guy girl Fell on the ground. He does cuz you know when you're like you forget where you're at. You just fart Just The part the fart now you can never write a joke bigger than the fart Somebody fart somewhere. It's so funny to them. It's I love being on stage and stopping the audience. Oh, yeah Oh I fought in DC and the owner left

Oh, yeah, I blew a part that was the owner left. I blew a fart on stage. Oh The owner laugh that's it. I'm out of here. Hey, was he doing fart jokes? Literally, I know nothing in life about counterterrorism Yeah, no, yeah until I started selling cars. Yeah. Oh, yeah, and then I became an expert on counterterrorism Like stealing the keys out of the car when the salesman is about to sell it all that shit all that shit Yeah, or a salesman off. So they have to cut you into the deal. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, my goal was for you to have a nervous breakdown. Yeah, like Rob dando. God bless his soul My goal he sold too many fucking cars. I couldn't keep up. Yeah, and enough was enough

I'm number one in this motherfucking junk. Haha. So when it comes to being number one, you got to play fucking dirty I was 20 fucking something years old. Yeah, you know every other dealership paid 10,000 a month I'm making 35 at this Christ of the planet, but they closed at seven. Oh, yeah, you know, they were a white little family Comfortable no problem. Here we are in this not in kilos in the showroom and and I'm tormenting this kid I mean, there were days. He just went home Yeah, I don't even remember the shit. I used to do. Yeah, it wasn't bullying or nothing like that It was counterterrorism. We're all here trying to make a buck and I got to take the top guy off the top When did you have time to actually sell cars?

Because I would torture him subtly. I wouldn't talk. I would go in there earlier and shut my torture process I'd start like a trap. Yeah Trap going and then I go out and sell cars like nothing was happening. Oh my god It just dominoes are falling like somebody would come in and go. Hi. I'm looking for Rob dando I would say Rob's in the back busy even though Rob's in the back in the bagel and I would give him to a different salesman Oh, that's the worst now Rob would come out and see this and his face would just turn Beat red. So his game would be off. Yeah, so then he would let the salesman sell the car He would be pacing in the back like a cage down and once the deal was done. He would blow up. Oh, yeah

That was my fucking deal. Yeah, my name is on it because I don't know Diaz gave him to me You know, that was my customer, you know, oh because once you do that to somebody early They can't play the game anymore. Oh, they're fat. They're mad all day. They're mad all day You wiped him out But it all kind of terrorism also works against you sometimes Because you're pissing on some of these legs. So you're making yourself negative while you're pissing on some of these legs Yeah, that's why it's a practice. I just don't use anymore. I Don't use it in comedy, but I will use it in life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah

Use it on my comrades in comedy before they go on stage come up to them and say, hey, you're losing your hair You know, that's the last thing a comic wants to hear before they go on Yeah, fuck put on a little weight. Oh, you put on a little weight Fuck what the fuck agents here tonight to see me. You know That's what you do. Yeah, you know at the store like let's say somebody had a big showcase of people And I found out about it. I hated you and let's say with the showcases at 9 30 I'd call dice up. Yeah, and trust dice loves all that shit. Oh, I'd make dice go down and walking at 9 20 Oh, I got the back

Color would just see on his face. Oh, I would call Eddie Griffin Oh, make up story and tell him to come down early tonight. There's gonna be a live and kick it They go, what's going on man? Because Eddie would walk in about a quarter to ten. I'd make them go down. It was all the showcases were at 9 15. Yeah Yeah, so I'd have Eddie bump Argus like you're not even going up to that Do three and I go up there behind you and then he would stay on the comic would just be pasting the back And me and three other guys would be howling because we knew what was going on That works against y'all

Little karma kicks in you don't do it in comedy, but you could torture people in life You know like your landlord or something like that You can piss on his leg. I know to me in comedy. It's like there are there are no enemies It's like we're all we're all their people at the store. Yeah But I won't say throw them under the bus because I love them too much. Yeah, they do try to piss on my leg Before I go on stage. Yeah, I catch it and I giggle and I tap them on the shoulder to let them know I'm happy that they tried Years ahead of that I was doing that in my 20s. You should be ashamed of yourself. You're doing that your 40s

Yeah, yeah, you just look at him like good for you. Good for you. Yeah, you're trying at least I see what you're doing. Yeah, I ain't mad at you. Yeah. It's not the voodoo don't work on Uncle Joey I've done that shit. Yeah. Yeah, I invented the voodoo. Yeah You know, it's just something it's weird because why you're talking about pissing on your leg I really thought about the statement I made to you a couple weeks ago We're here to do a podcast today out of respect for Rick and Casey, you know, God bless his soul Me and Dean both liked them, but I was telling Dean and Dean I've always been dates with you like I've known areas of concerts

I've been always really good. There's 20 concerts. I know I forgot about. Oh, yeah, same here There's 20 concerts that I know that somebody has to bring them up But I really got to think and then I got to call somebody to collaborate Exactly the cars were the first concert I think I went to see that that was the first time that I knew my concert days are gonna be over Oh, I told you that I went I think they were at Central Park. Yep, and the sound wasn't right right doors The could the cars, but nobody really knew till they got there I think even the doors didn't know how being outside

affected them Compared to like being at the garden or the Palladium course days. No ambiance. Yeah, I didn't I end I didn't see him on the On the Candio tour or the first tour. I was hip to those albums. Same here I still remember the first one hit. Oh God Was fucking huge huge and then it being the soundtrack of that movie fast times Yeah, I don't know. I don't know how far difference it was from the time fast times came out Yeah, when did fast times come out and when did that record came out? I think it's 78 and fast times like 81 or where but it really made it famous again, you know

Like so big but that whole record is every song is a hit It's crazy to think that they he was that good of a songwriter Rico Casey 82 82 fast times first record 78 But you know, it's such a pivotal scene in the film You know that it's it just feels like it came out that year You know, you gotta remember at that time. It was Ted Nugent. Yeah It was black Sabbath. It was You know Judas Priest was alive and kicking there were all these bands that were a little heavier that we were listening AC DC a lot of us were listening to punk, you know a couple of us

Well, you know, I like the class some of their music. There was a couple other guys that black I don't know for black Divo Divo. I like time like Divo. There was a couple bands I had seen in the city that right now slipped my mind again, you know the years of abuse and drugs But I still remember getting there. I think the album. Yeah to the cars And being blown away like this isn't what we listen to so I'm gonna be careful before I bring this out Yeah, you're on your friends. I yeah, yeah, I'm gonna be a little careful. This is girl music Yeah, because it didn't really have a genre. I think they called it new wave. Yeah, but it was just like its own thing

It really was its own thing because new wave was a little to me Goofy and fun, you know, you got like b-52s. That was new wave rock club star You know that that destroyed that killer that came out That album was played at every party You went to right the end of the night after everybody got this springsteen and that priest fix Yeah, somewhere slipped in the b-52s Totally and some tough guys were still not dancing. Oh, yeah Yeah, that album came out tough guys were still not dancing. No dancing. No laughing

Once the kwayloos came in and you had a dance if you wanted to eat that monkey Yeah, you got a dance and you got to rub your hips against them and pull a hard of your wine steam And you know fucking deal you have no idea what you're doing you're dancing if you've never danced and you just try it You're just doing something, you know like this I learned to dance early on by the eighth grade at school dances. Yeah, I was already busting the move Yeah, I knew that if you wanted to get anywhere with a girl, you got a dance dog They got to see your hips move. I watched soul train and I was Don Cornelius was a god to me Doug I watched that show every week. I never missed it. We grew up on that

American bandstand loved it. I mean it was a different time, you know, I always hear the argument that there's nobody who promotes New bands anymore, you know what? I don't remember a time when they're promoting new bands either Yeah, if you were good you fucking swam if you didn't you sank. Yeah, that was it if you you know, I we grew up on Soul train Saturday afternoon unbelievable American bandstand Saturday afternoon college football never even thought a canceling Yeah, American bands then got its is fucking Dick Clark always got its end and then Saturday night We had Don curses rock concert smoking and I think Friday night was the midnight special or Back-to-back. It was Saturday night live Into Don curses rock. Yep. I cannot tell you how many nights I stopped partying

To run home to see Don curses rock concert because somebody in particular was going to be on and the band I remember the most running home for was black Sabbath. Oh Oh man, I still remember Don curses to bring them up I still remember my dick being hard. I had tears in my eyes. Oh my god. I'm about to fucking see him. This was uh Maybe a year before they broke up. Yeah, like 78 and maybe six months before the fucking damage was done How great was that show Don curses rock concert? You think about that now this show would never fly They get the biggest fucking bands the biggest bands they come down I was talking to a guy that worked on it. They would shoot it during the day over in uh,

You know, uh, I think Warner Brothers Burbank or whatever During the day, they would shoot like three bands in one day And you know, they'd have like a hundred people in the audience There they were just rocking You have wild Biggest band ever not one song like, uh, you know, like on fowling or something now It would be like they played like three four songs a whole concert Fucking crazy. Great. And soul train. They had the soul train dancers. Oh, god

And at the end they did the the dance down the aisle. Yeah, but the guy left You always I I still remember the episode when the microphone fell and the guy kept singing Oh, shit. They're lip-syncing. I forget who it was that the microphone that was the first time I realized I was like seven or eight. Yeah, that lip-syncing even existed Yeah, like you're like what the microphone that fell but the song can't play it He was left on stage With a fucking weird look on his face Don Cornelius It was funny. Ian Edwards and I one day I posted a clip of Don Cornelius

On instagram and I said Every saturday, I never missed this guy. I never missed an episode and he texted me right away As you used to watch that and I go like a religion man And then I found out later the rock club that I booked the stone in san francisco early on was where they first started shooting soul train Uh Years before it was the rock club straight crazy to think wow I'm in the same building as like soul train was filmed that was shot up in the bay area for a while I guess and then where were the rest I don't know where the rest of them were but we could find out on wikipedia

But that ship was uh, you know bay area first and uh, it was amazing that guy had a I think he was a dj at first Don Cornelius I did really read up on it for a while and then I forgot but I think he was a dj or something then had that show but he was so bad ass How smooth was he to be like all right? Yeah, his voice was true I still remember barry white being on there. Yeah elton john They showed clips at the show. There was another white guy who was on there. That was oh david bowie bowie was on there Bowie's on there man fame the brothers johnson. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. He did fame the brothers johnson

The oj's You know, I grew up on that that was stele lakeside earth wind and fire fire. Oh, uh Parliament played on there parliament played on there You finally Yeah, I'm just looking for san francisco all the confines l.a. Yeah. Yeah started in chicago actually chicago and then and then And then i'm pretty sure it was filmed in san franc for like two years or something Uh, that's what I read uh somewhere. So Who knows if it you know when you're reading stuff, you're like, oh cool

You never check if it's if it's real you're like, oh, all right. Yeah, it was there but uh But that's also wikipedia so that could be yeah. Yeah, but supposedly it was filmed in that same place that uh That became a famous rock club later the stone pretty wild But man, uh, I was watching elton john and he was showing old clips behind him And they had the soul train clips And there he is man wearing like a green suit and the glasses with the clear piano

Just killing it on there. How was elton john? He was years later 72 years old three hours crushing it. No opener And just murdered it. I mean murt comes out Starts with uh benny and the jets and never looks back It's crazy how great he is Really got three original guys in the band still the drummer The guy that does the percussion the older guy up there with the bongos and the tambourine and then the guitar player three guys It's been in since like 71

I was zion maiden sadly. Oh, man. Well, that was just another level who opened up for them Uh, fozzy, you know, what's his name's band? Uh, the wrestler What's his name? He has the podcast. He's the famous wrestler got him drawing a blank on his name and then some other band I missed but uh Burr and I went and it was insane there They're showing all the other bands. Hey, we spend all our money on the stage show

I think they they're like, we got plenty of money. Let's put on a show. No one's fucking seen every three songs It's a different stage monsters backdrops fire Shit flying. It's like spray. They open with a fucking b 52 plane flying over the stage Huge plane just flying over It's crazy Huge I was like, well, that's the opener and dickinson. He's so badass. He's like, yeah, we open with that

That would be most people's closer But no, we fucking open and we get better Bigger, you know, he's like going crazy the crowd. They played the soccer stadium the new one I've never been there where the la sports arena used to be They put a huge soccer uh stadium there off the 110 there. You can see it Fucking place was jeff's seat. Fuck. I think that thing holds like 50 000 Oh, I'll show you a video. It was jeff's all the way to the top for All the way to the top. I mean the worst seat on the planet

People are really coming out to support the arts these days. They are man. I really gotta hand it to them comedy To music, you know, I mean, there's still loyal People out there that they just love entertainment. I mean all these shows, you know, what's what's kiss at The kiss army the tour is that fucking break and fire Money records there. They just bought the bank. Yeah, they just I heard any trunk said the figure about two weeks ago Where they're at so far with tours. I mean people are going out People are actually paying money for these tickets. Yeah, and they're enjoying themselves. God bless them

you know monday, there was a guy that called in to Eddie trunk talking about uh ticket prices and how he stopped supporting a lot of Especially g and r his his his point was g and r right that we're paying too much money to go see g and r Do 30 year old songs. No, that's crazy. They respected the audience their fan base. They would come out with a new album And all this shit the guy made some good points. He asked me that he trunk made some great points also about you know that uh that uh Slash and

Duff is still very active and they put out solo projects in between they've been successful But that he feels that axl rose is such a greedy fuck That he won't you know, he goes he's so he wants to go tour with ac dc But he won't fucking put him out. Why don't we get the guys in the best studio and let's get a new album Why would I want to pay a hundred dollars to go see fucking 30 year old music and he felt that iron maiden Was very good to their fan base, right? He said iron maiden is one of the best. They go to electronic tickets They don't let scalpers get their hands on the tickets. He goes that he was talking about fan bases. It was very interesting Yeah, really interesting about it. You know and addy told him addy trunk told him at the end

He goes, you know who stops these bands from doing this you do. Yeah, just don't pay it again bucks And you want to pay 80 for a beer and a hundred for a t-shirt just don't go Yep, but the more you go the more you're going to support this somebody came up to me in san antonio And said I paid 300. I was a piece for your tickets I go don't ever do that I'm not worth any more than that ticket price. It's a shame that You have all these fucking people take their ticket prices just to make the exchange online

Yeah, 13 dollars three dollars for paper. It breaks my heart, you know, don't pay over that. I'm not fucking worth it Yeah, don't pay over that. I'll be back in some time if you see I'm on a schedule somewhere Make a trip, but don't ever pay that money. Go to the fucking theater website People hit me up all the time. I'm not going to see you your tickets are 311 dollars. They're on their own website What are you fucking talking about? Yeah, where am I the fucking the fucking flyer and the fucking website? Connects you with the link to the fucking site. Yeah, why are you on any other fucking site paying? $311 for jodias. I don't get it. Are you fucking crazy? Do you think I would charge you? 300 and fucking 11 dollars

Without a gun Yeah, you know what I'm saying like just it's just people have no idea what they're buying So you just got to watch what sites you're going to You know go to the direct fucking the stones. I've got the stone thing. They're hashing out all those people just They don't need to deal with it. It's right on our website. I always tell people they go When they come into milwaukee, it's like it's all there man. I mean I pay for this website every month So you go it's the easiest spot Dean delray.com, you know, because if I post it in uh, twitter and instagram and everything

The algorithms I post the link. Yeah, I post the link to that fucking website. I want you to go. Yeah So you save fucking money. There it is. I mean, I don't you know, you don't get a piece of time But I want to talk to you about some of the cars real quick before I forget The cars taught me a very candy all the album. Yeah taught me a very big lesson about what I do today You know, I Maybe eight years ago was when people started asking me for pictures Then people when you take pictures with people You usually have little conversations with them. Yeah, you know

And some people come over and they shake your hand you go. Hey Dean. Nice to meet you. Joe Diaz and I put my arm around They put my there on their arm around me And as we're taking the picture they'll say, hey man I was having a hard time. I listened to the podcast. Thanks for helping me out And I would go back to my hotel room and I would go how fucking creepy is that? Yeah, how creepy is that, you know For the next film. What are they talking about? I couldn't really handle that when people would say that to me I was my my son died and I listened to your podcast and it really helped And I was like that's fucking crazy and then one day I was listening to Candio

And it hit me. Yeah, Candio That album was one of the albums that kept me together after my mother died Candio was something I look forward to listening to the whole album. There's not a bad song either Elliot Easton. Oh the guitar work on there is fucking just He's a little guy. I think he's from Long Island original. Yeah, the guitar was bigger than him Yeah, the guitar was bigger than him. Matt Tandon Yeah, if you watch all these car videos the guitar is bigger than he is and he just fucks it up some of his leads are fucking nasty

But Candio if I think about it is one of my top 10 albums because it kept me together at a time where I must listen to the album for the first year and a half after my mother died Every day man. So now when people say to me. Hey, I listened to the podcast I could relate. I'm not saying I'm the cars. I just could relate to what they were saying. It helped me I loved all that shit. Yeah The other day when I got my friend called me from Jersey and he goes did you hear Rico Kasek died when I hung up. I thought about you Bumping into him six months ago in the city at a crazy

And you said he looked great. He looked great He's my neighbor. It was nuts. And then I thought about uh Just being a kid and listening to those first two albums Yeah, the first album I had at the house before my mother died I still remember that Ted double live was ruling the charts. Oh, yeah double. I've gone. So you had a bus through Ted Born to run. Yeah was born to run out already born around. Yeah. Yeah born to You had a bust out through uh the kinks. Yeah, and then you know with all these bands that People go down. You're not putting the cars out of my party

Like there were people that I still remember visibly telling me we don't play the cars in my house And not even my feelings would be hurt. I just go, okay, I think you're missing out on a great fucking band I thought the first album was great and I thought the second album was just spectacular Like if you watch people's work will not anymore Except for maybe the little skinny blonde and Beyonce You you judge people by I don't like judging specials. I don't like judging CDs Yeah, I like to judge the whole library. Like I remember I have a friend that calls into the bug gas

We haven't had him calling in a hard time Frank canella Frank canella's father was a jazz drummer. We were growing up And him and I were in a band together. I was the lead singer and all we did was lip-sync. Yeah the Beatles Living room rock living room rock. Yeah, I had the bass player and The whole fucking deal then my voice changed. I didn't sound like michael jackson anymore Sounded like paparazzi and then the fucking show But I remember shortly after john bonham died

Me being at his house and his mother of all people Said that she goes, you know, I like how my legs that one Yeah, yeah mom that every album was really really different And that showed you the strength of who they were like she didn't judge them as She just judged them as after she goes after I listen to all this is before coda came up. Yeah, coda. Yeah Yeah, this before I'm not a big fan of coda. I like in through the outdoor though. Yeah Into the outdoor. I fucking love god. That's a great love in the evening

I remember my neighbors who were jojoba witnesses on giving that terrace Knocking on my door at 7 30 in the morning Telling me to lower it in my bedroom because they could hear it Through the fucking walls through the air conditioner in the house Just cranking in the evening and I would go check on my mother Out cold. Oh, she'd just be at the edge of the bed with her mouth open Not hear no zapping nothing and it was fucking loud But that's how I feel about candio. Yeah the whole out. That's all I can do

To keep waiting for you. Oh man the album cover done by vargas, you know the famous playboy The fucking chick on the car. Yeah It's just the drawing over Yeah, that's she was in the car. I don't know if I have I definitely have the first album. Yeah But I don't have I don't think I have can't candy. I think I do I think I do if I know anything about myself. That's one of the I always buy that for the home collection I feel like They're in the rock and roll hall of fame. Yeah, they made it. Yeah, they made it in and I feel like

They're still Underrated It's bizarre to me like they're they they have so many hit songs They're like the new wave version of tom petty It's a fucking they got a double disc Of hits an anthology like just all hits And I said it before no piss tracks when you see him live. There's no tracking. Go. All right. I can go take a piss There's no piss track because it's just time. Did you see him? I always saw him one time

When did you see him and I saw him on the shake it up tour 1982 cow palace And they Destroyed they didn't say a word Nothing they came out Played all the hits. I was like, this is insane. It was like they were almost like aliens You know, you're like, that's them. Whoa, and they sounded exact to the record which is hard because they're they sound so Like the fidelity of them and everything all the the layers of it the keyboards and and the guitar and all that

The way it sounds it could easily sound horrible live a band like that. You'd go and be like, oh, it's a studio band You know, ah, they can't do it live. These guys nailed it live They were fantastic. I think I actually saw him twice. I think I saw him later on too years later. I bought Benjamin Ours one of the solo album right and it was fire Yeah, it was really how you used to listen to it while I was selling neon neon had an Acura Integra, yeah a two door white one a 90 1990 with the rims I got a great deal on it when I got separated

I got fucking tow trucks caught up with me Oh It never came up on my fucking credit report. Wow score on that, right? It must have gone on and they took it off. You're selling neon tubes the neon actual shit I used to sell neon to stores the first job I could handle. Yeah after I got separated It was you know that angle what in your heart when you get when you go through a traumatic thing It's hard to work. Oh, yeah hard to focus And I remember I was having a hard time focused and the other I could basically do is eat valium and do stand-up

Yeah, that's all, you know, I had a girlfriend. I just wanted to be with her in the daytime. She was younger than me And a friend of mine was like listen, man, you gotta fucking get it together. Yeah, I love you to death You could eat here whenever you want but You gotta do something with your life. I'm like, what am I gonna fucking do? And he owned a neon shop. He was a glass And he goes I sell those neon things. I'll give him $50 open 1990 everybody was open looking for an open sign, right? Right though. You got it for 50. Whatever you could get is yours. Oh, shit

I'd start at $1.99. Yeah, I'll install it right now. I'd bring a drill with me Couple screws. I'd be a ladder But I would also ask I would drop off a flyer And if they wanted more info than Danny would come in and close them on the whole deal. Yeah Oh neon and it was easy all you had to do was go to a strip mall Just pick an area And just go to a strip mall and just drop off Go to sushi dance strip mall

Go across the street to the mall in there. Hi. How you doing? Just wanted to give you this. We're not interested. Okay Yeah, but if I would pass out a hundred flies I get Three to seven calls I would just wake up and go to kinko's make a hundred flies And just go that's why neon signs open closed They would go do you have neon signs that say open at that time Costco didn't have them yet? Yeah, this was pre Costco. I was doing comedy and it was putting an extra I don't know four or five hundred

It started at like 200 like I sold a couple things And then I just kept it going every monday tuesday and wednesday I'd pass out 300 flies and sell Five things it was just numbers game. I love neon man The neon in the store is half of what the store is it's so wild when you're in there and they turn those Neons on while they're seating people And it's all the famous Heads and the names, you know in the main room

You got the heads and then in the original room the names And then as soon as the show starts the neons come off and you know the show is going it's it's uh It's such a cool part of that the store And then the neon I went to last time I was in vegas. I went to the neon Like graveyard You've been there you go out. It's all the famous giant leftover neons From vegas old shit the silverado and they're all in there and you can take a tour guys Just got them all on in this big yard like a junkyard of neon

It's fucking amazing That's it's cool people get married and shit in there. I got married at the neon museum He was a really interesting guy The guy sold neon for him. Did he make him or get him from somewhere? No, he did everything himself. He made him He had a business His name was daniel fevels I met him when I was working on the car wash I was in the halfway house. My wife was pregnant. Oh, we had already had jacklyn

And I met him at the car wash. They pulled up And I could tell by the music they were listening to I know you guys Cuban. They're like, yeah And I'm like, where you guys from like Miami and They go, we live exactly where you live. They live in the same apartment complex So after work instead of going to the halfway house, I signed out to their house And I went over to an eight and watched the super bowl and we've been friends ever since wow He told me he had a neon shop with a partner his ryan kahoon in boulder So I went I knew ryan the funny thing was I knew ryan from 85

I dated my ex-wife and her best friend was ryan kahoon So we all knew each other So I went to work for them, you know, and I would Work out with danny from time to time me and danny hung around at night They were very good to me. They took me into their home. I was a little older than they were I was like maybe two or three years Older than him and his wife. They're not together no more But uh, he had a ryan. He had a partner named ryan kahoon

And ryan could be a little difficult from time to time And I liked ryan. I always respected him. Can I get that water from me there? Yeah, I respected ryan And there was a weed shortage We'd shortage every august. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you're waiting for the harvest to come full moon the harvest uh You would go dry for a few weeks And I remember we would dry for like two weeks and I mean this is when I was going I didn't know I was about to get separated

But I didn't like what was going on in my house. Yeah, you know I had already been in prison. I think I was out on at this time I think I was still on community corrections And I was smoking they weren't testing me no more they gave up on testing me like like this guy keeps blowing up the machine Blowing up the machine. Yeah, they go like this like no fucking way. I would put drain on the piss all this shit So I was smoking and He had a deal with me. I was gonna give him like 800 bucks And they were gonna drive up to hide a home pick up a couple pounds and I had dibs on

On a half a pound But I had already sold for 800. Yeah, I was gonna dip into that just to hold me over And You know, whatever the drive was to hide a home They fucking did it and they get back to Boulder Ryan calls me With not the story that I want to hear Hell no, and I'm living in a joey Diaz world like I'm fucking hating myself

I just started comedy I really wanted to be a comedian. I didn't know where to start. I was two months into comedy And I fucking didn't want to go to work no more. I didn't want to be a roofing estimator I didn't want to be married. I just wanted my life to fucking end And now this fucking kid who I gave 800 Hard earned dollars to Is calling me with some fucking story. Oh shit, right and At that time we had the condo

The door and it was just like this there was windows, but that day the curtains were open So I could see who was coming up the stairs So he calls back again. He goes, hey, man, we were talking before I didn't like your tone of voice I said, hey, man, I gave you 800 dollars for something and you're calling me with a fucking Chinese story Yeah, I go shoot. I don't want my tone and then he fired back Well, we'll see when I get there what your tone is. Yeah So I hang up the phone and not three minutes after that I hear him coming up the stairs

And by the time he gets to the top thing I see him giving me the evil eye and I'm about five feet from my kitchen And I had a knife rack there. Yeah, and I went like this with my hand like hold on one second and right in front of him I turned around I pulled one of the knives out and I started walking towards the door And he's standing in front of me and when he sees them coming towards him and Thank god, this went down when he saw I was coming. He just fucking ran down the stairs Ran to Danny's house and they both called me and then it's like what's going on Ryan just said you pulled the knife on him. He'll give me the eight ounces. There's no problems. Yeah, yeah, yeah

You know, and then Ryan got on the phone. Hey, man, I was just kidding with you. They didn't know I was another planet at the time They didn't really know right desperate Ryan could only really know and then we got into it again one time when I've got into comedy. I had an account like somebody Went there that took them a year To decide what they wanted. They were building a restaurant. The place was tremendous The place was tremendous. It was one of the best restaurants still I've ever eaten at in my life Due to the fact that they had a three margarita limit

Three margarita and then they asked you to leave Because what you were going to go through was going to be hell. They made their margaritas with Crane alcohol. Oh, shit. So you're just wasting in that lunch. They would have many margaritas for a dollar You would get Fucked up. They had the best bet was called Rio Grande restaurant I became one of them when they passed the fly the guy pulled me aside He goes, what is this about and just from my experience of working with Danny. I laid out what he should do Yeah, what do you suggest and I go, oh, why don't you just put a tube

Three tubes brown to highlight the room and then Put a sign that says margarita and make it blink and tacos and So, you know, every time I went there to eat dinner I would talk to the fucking owner. Yeah, and he'd go i'm coming close. I went with designing this So I was doing comedy at the time already And you know, I was just doing it like part-time and one day this guy called and put him like a $20,000 water Whoa, it was like $3,000 in my pocket. Yeah, and I go on there to eat one day and the fucking neon's up Oh, bad ass. I go, when did you get the neon? He goes, oh, we got it installed didn't Danny tell you?

And I go, nobody fucking told me. Yeah. So I called Danny. That's like, uh, he goes Me and Ryan are partners. So we pay your commission together. I have you to check But ryan doesn't know if he wants to give you the money. I go the same ryan. I chased down the stairs with the knife Yeah, yeah, doesn't know do I have to fucking remind I'll bring two knives this time. I called them up and he paid me my money and then we didn't do business Joey two knives. That's how I didn't fucking that's how my neon career ended, but I loved it Danny really knew what Danny was right now today I could look you in the eye. Danny's Danny feebles is one of the top three neon people in the country

He can make anything. That's cool. He just uh, the neon business went downhill a little bit. Yeah, but his Cuban his family goes back To 1920 in cuba making neon Wow, like it was a family business in cuba. They were known For neon febles neon company or yeah, yeah Febles something he showed me all the stuff and how I got involved with him was read snorkel And he'd show me all the neon magazines where they featured his work Yeah, like he would show me like the industry standard magazines for neon. They probably don't have them now

Yeah, right, but every month he would send in a picture. He always they always would put A picture of his work and he's established as one of the best in the country hands down For a long time. They were flying them all over the country. He just is a little Crazy, so that opportunity arose if I shoot a special maybe I'll just do the backdrop will be del re neon del re like Neon looks just so cool. It's funny because you mentioned the original room. Yeah When mitzi would Feature would showcase you she put the lights on purposely. Oh, yeah

It was a different and she leave the lights on a little bit to let people know it was a showcase Yeah, that's how they do it now. She was a freak about that. Yeah, they still do that But if you are on stage And one of those lights buzzed. Yeah I don't give a fuck if you would jerry sign fellow bill burr If bill burr is up there show came from uh chose Show casing for mitzi sure. Yeah, and the kennison light would go Oh, it does that she would go

Scratch them off sam don't like them. Oh sam don't like like Your career Would rest neon if that fucking neon buzzed you were done bad electricity if any of that neon buzz Yeah, you were on stage Whether it was that one a louis and the sun Can you imagine Oh, no, no, they don't like him. You know, you're done. She would say the room didn't like you. That's it. The room Once the room didn't like you

It looks like you better fucking go showcase over at the lab fight the room The neon and it's that's how fucking much she believed in the neon There was a while where the blue star because that tells you you're done It was wired kind of weird. So instead even looking at the blue star you could just hear it come on and go Yeah, and you go, oh the blue lights on now. I used to never even look at it. Isn't that wild? It's but I just remembered when you were talking about neon that mitzi sure That's a great story fucking tremendous. I don't know that room doesn't like you I don't know how many nights I would be hosting and she'd go show me the lineup and sit next to me you

Show show show show and then she would sit next to me. Who's going up? Oh, I don't like his name not tonight Then she would tell there was time she would go. Oh What's that name there? Tyrone. Oh That's what I need. Mosh vats is here. Oh, you know, she would say little things like that Fucking I don't need mosh vats is here. Oh, look at this guy. He's handsome. I'm gonna have him showcase handsome, but if that fucking light if that neon buzzed While you were on stage. Oh, I don't know how many times she'd say to me

The room doesn't like him. That's a crazy one. That's a bumper sticker and then the kind then I'd have to go downstairs Oh comics would come up to me and go. What did she say? What did she say? She liked you No What can I say to a comic? I would never bust a comic balls away because that's I couldn't I would never lie to the comic. I wouldn't say You know, she says oh, this guy's terrible. Yeah, I wouldn't say that to the comic. I go. She liked you Yep, she really liked you. You think she better than that wouldn't see him anymore. They didn't get passed I get a lot of emails from people and I'm just like 10 years in and they'll say can you look at my set or listen to my music?

and tell me what you think And it's just so Double-edged, so you can't I don't do it. I don't do it either. I don't judge that I don't all because it's if you have a set don't send it to me. I'll put a thumbs up But I will not watch it. It doesn't have uh, like A connection. You know how many people just a connection. You know how many people probably thought that you or I were Terrible or something when we were started. Yeah, well, I still do and it's not about that. It's about Are you getting off on it? Are you enjoying it? Are you doing it for you?

That's that's what it's about. Uh, I'm not a Critic or a teacher or anything. I just learn every day that I'm on and that's what you got to do You got to learn every day that you're on you're not gonna be What am I gonna what am I gonna say? man, that was terrible that's not gonna help anybody or that was great and You know, it's just a tough way. You just gotta it doesn't matter what I think or joey things or we or anybody

It's just get out there and do it You know, it's it's bizarre to that people want you to tell them. What do you think of it? It's just It it doesn't matter What I think do you dig it? I have never When people send me those It's embarrassing for me I don't really like judging comics not at all. I don't really

If you want me to look at your set your 10 minutes set for conan. Yeah, or something. I'll give it a shot But if you've ever seen any of my 60 minute sets, they're not Nothing to write home about so how can I judge your hour? Yeah, you know before the special still before this podcast started we spoke about Bill Burr special It just blew me the fuck away. Yeah, just blew me the fuck away. I thought that Listen, both of those specials are sensational and

I'm proud to be a stand-up and have them represent us. You know, obviously we're not at that level to do that To have that representation But both those specials to ship hell both of them took them back to old school comedy 101. Yeah, which is the most important thing Not to forget who the fuck you are and who the hoop lies I know who's writing jokes To get a television show and I know who's writing jokes to make you laugh That's a big difference. I know who's writing jokes to please you Which I'm not here to fucking please you. I'm here to make you laugh

And once you see that being executed in the special Your dick gets hard. Yeah, you know, there's specials I watch and you're saying what You want me to hear? That's great. I'm happy that you took the time to write it. But that's not what I you know when you're catering yourself to what you want to do That's not stand-up That's not stand-up Those two specials Let me know that stand-up is still alive and well in this country whether there's judgment whether there's uh

You know, they're not pc culture PC culture is never going to ruin stand-up comedy never never not as long as Bill Burke keeps doing what he's doing Chappelle does what he does Rogan does what he does and you as a comic continually do yeah what you need to do on stage You're not censoring yourself. Those days are done. If you want to scroll listen I got a lot of shit going on But obviously as you guys have noticed

There's no tv show And guess what after thinking about it and after constant thought I don't ever want to fucking do a tv show I don't ever want them to scroll down my twitter and say my twitter is contaminated. You understand me? Yeah, my twitter is unhirable. Yeah, and that's how I want it. Yeah, that's exactly how I want my twitter I don't want to get hired now. We're firing people Because of something they said in episode 148 of a podcast Yeah, well, you better listen to episode 99 of my this fucking podcast Where i'm torturing lee and telling lee to put his dick in his fucking neighbor's mouth while she's sleeping

You know what i'm saying? So what are the chances of me getting on any network show anymore as a go as a guest star and a co-star? Absolutely. Yeah, they'll hire me. They won't know when I come on tv Some of you'll send a video of me saying chain Fucking doing fucking acid with lee or something. Yeah, do you know who you're putting on tv? You know, I had an email once from a comic Sending me an email that Fuck you. You're over 50. You're still doing mushrooms. I just thought about that the other day. Oh, yeah

And i'm like he's like you haven't changed. You're still eating mushrooms. I'm like Yeah, I can't eat like yeah, what what who said that's a kid thing Yeah, and he's this guy's a loser a born loser. Yeah, he has a btl tattoo of his fucking forehead What's up to you and he was accusing me over you haven't changed you still eat fucking mushrooms. Jesus christ I didn't even think I was gonna be 50. Yeah, I never thought I was gonna make 50 Yeah, yeah, right if i'm eating the mushroom more fucking power to you. Who are you to fucking judge me? Yeah, who the fuck are you to judge me? You know fucking crazy people I I just don't have uh, I got no time for any of that shit. You're 50 something years old

Yeah, I got no time if they want to fucking put on a memo that dean delray said Something wrong on stage. Guess what happened you sell triple the tickets. Oh, yeah, they made that sign that live kids career Oh, it's now people gonna go see him here. Not only that but his podcast numbers will quadruple quadruple Who cares? Yeah, he wouldn't want to be on sign that live anyway. Yeah By the time you got on something better career now, it's a better career now. Yeah, they did him a fucking favor I tweeted that they did him a favor. It's like one years to put the stickers on the records. We all wanted that one uh, you know profanity Not good for uh families and all that the pmrc

Immediately you're like, I'll take that record. I'll take that record. I gotta have that You know, I watched that documentary again the one that billy made about steroids You know I go back to that line that Manny Ramirez hit 20 home runs He started working with the doctor in florida the next year. He hit 39 home runs Then the following season he tested positive for steroids and got a 55 game

Suspension, am I right Lee? It sounds right. Yeah, he got was it when he was a dodger. I'm sorry. Let me check It was one of those teams I think it was a boston then he became a dodger and they started booing him out in dodger stadium Yeah, yeah, but it's so weird when alex rodriguez contacted the same dr. Bosch Yeah, this guy when he came up to miami He said alex rodriguez opened the door and immediately said I want the same stuff you gave manny Yeah, even though he tested positive

It was when he was a dodger. He was when he was a dog. Yeah for 55 games. That's the shit people want Yeah, you know when you're a heroin addict, you know, you want the shit that killed. Oh, yeah Oh, yeah, you know when the bad. Yeah, the bad shit's growing up in the street People are lining up when you get it. It won't kill me down by fucking. What's that street in san francisco? Mission street mission street people would run down half and kill three people even better We all want to dabble with the fucking danger danger. We all want to you know I've always loved the dangerous shit the dangerous music the dangerous comedy the dangerous cars motorcycles

Always always never loved comfort. It says comfort is a killer comfort is a killer man You know, I gotta tell you brother you Have kept me going over the years the last couple years because we're three years apart difference And I admire you for what you've been doing over the years Now man, thanks you go out there you go out there you get my respect You know because I know that You're one of those dudes that relentless now

I could see this in the 36 year old's heart I could see this in a 38 year old guy, you know 38 38's a serious age. Yeah, you gotta make a fucking move Yeah, but you're 53 You were 40 something when you started 44 44 when you started comedy You had nothing to lose You embraced it. You already knew the patience it required for music You knew that wasn't gonna happen overnight It was sort of the same but not really. Oh, yeah, totally different or the same

But not really you're still dealing with people who are trying to rob you. Yeah, you're never good enough They want this they want that you're too old and you gotta figure out you're not good looking You gotta figure out how to avoid the mind landmines. Yeah, and you've done it You know, you've done a fucking great job with it. So It's weird that sometimes I'm like fucking here. I am with a six year old watching fucking tv And deans walking the streets in new york He's walking from the spring steam concert at the garden to go to a 1 a.m. Spot At the comedy fucking underground. What's the seller seller? Yeah, in my boots. They always have it get your corns

Oh my god, you got those fucking kamikaze boots and you walk 10 miles with them What do your feet fucking feel like I walk with sneakers in my fucking I have to go to dottics and yeah, if I go to like chicago This week, I think was the easiest flights I ever took in my life. Oh man all four gates We're right next to baggage clamp. Oh It never happens that way. Oh my god Like I remember going through security and I could see my gate from the security right there. That's that best, right? Wow

Honio, yeah, because we were flying into dallas Yeah, and that's not a bueno airport when you go through dallas You better bring your roller skate and you might have your endurance up just flew there with mirror And I was like, wow that one in a manna. What big chicago's big Oh here, man You got to be in shape there Especially you got to connect them on american airline And they land you on c and you got to walk the h what the fuck

That's you see that little black guy with a smile on his face whistling Three handicapped people on that little cart you get on that stop them with a 20. Yeah You just remember in the 80s you were walking through a barn taking a bag of cocaine out Do this to the hot chicks like this the hot chicks would be circled huddled around with guys Trying to sell a dick in real estate and you coming and cut through the chase get out of the way Yeah, yeah that cocaine on her face And wiggle that coke and next thing that you just walked out of there with the broad. It's the same fucking thing Oh, yeah, the guy with the cart man. I jump on that. I jump. I give him a 20 until I listen

We're going to the wheels follow Yeah, these three ugly white people with the canes kick them off. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. This is non-stop. Those canes are fake Yeah, those canes are fake This is non-stop I love it man. No, we're talking before the podcast about The Vinyl incident last week. Oh, yeah, you know, I love alex jones I love alex jones because I know him personally and I know he says some crazy shit

But every once in a while he's You know 70% of what alex jones says You agree with and then from time to time he throws a wrench in there and you're like, Jesus christ, you were doing so good Yeah, yeah, I've been a fan of eddie trunks. I don't know how long and i'm still a fan eddie trunks, you know I've heard him fucking say some brilliant stuff on that trunk thing on monday and I watched him with jimmy florentine and the other guy on the heavy metal show. Yeah, john jamison I'm really a fan of his since we started the podcast because he does it solo He takes calls. He fends off savages. He fends off retards

I mean, he's got some retarded people call him this week was good Yeah, but there was a topic that came up the last two weeks and he attacked it on the internet and it was vinyl that he didn't see the value of Buying a cd for 10 bucks A paying 40 bucks For vinyl right and two days later somebody tweeted at him

That this was the first year that vinyl since 1986 it's 2019 And since 1986, this is the first year ever That vinyl has outsold cds this year Right, well it took 14 plus 19 It's crazy something years for vinyl to make a comeback now

Since 86 84 we haven't been selling vinyl that means right When do you think the downslope for music started? I mean, I don't think it started once No, because motley crew and guns and roses are dominating selling through the late 90s selling big Yeah selling big. Yeah Even g&r. I mean Allison chains and all that the grunge selling big you know

I uh I saw eddie He tweeted yesterday because they the tool record The actual physical cd of tool and the physical cd of taylor swift Has made the industry rethink Maybe we shouldn't get rid of the cd yet because it's sold so many

And he was tooting his horn like see i'm telling you it's where it's at but I don't believe in the cd. I sold 2000 cds five years ago and four years ago. Sorry, and I was so happy I got rid of them Because once I saw they weren't going to be in the cars anymore and on computers It's when the industry decides to kill off a uh a platform Now once you don't have the player Sure, they're gonna sell

You know best buy will have one player for years and years. I'm sure you can buy a vcr somewhere right now I know you can but They're not quality It's just a piece of junk in the corner once the players are out of the computer in the car I was like this is a dead format for me And and they were just I got to get rid of these because if I if I don't have a player I always put it in the computer

And then let it play onto the speakers in my house or in a car And if you don't have it in the car, it's like it's a death to me of of a of a product No player You know, I mean maybe Maybe years from now it turns around like vinyl did and there's you know, selling turntables all over the place But if you don't have a player for years Uh, what what are you gonna do with this stuff? And and I just read today amazon has released a new platform

With this insane high uh flax streaming That's even bigger than title bigger files and neil young was jumping on it like finally the streaming Is going to be incredible and I think the better and better the streaming gets the All the product is going to be gone Because it gets down into people who are living in smaller places now because they can't afford to live anywhere Especially in new york And all that you can't have your thousand cds or two thousand records if you live in a studio apartment

So once the streaming gets bigger and bigger As the files, it's I think all the product might be gone I mean, that's just what I think Well, it's funny because I don't have a fucking I love music. Yeah But I don't have a cd in my car not at all in this car and I've had this car for two years No player, right? Nope. I don't know if I have a player. Yeah the check and see. Yeah. Yeah, that's hilarious But I have serious. Yeah, and I have you know, uh, the The grunge station. I got uh, I got ozzy's boneyard. I got the other one. I got

Studio 54 radio. Yeah, I don't really need 22 cds in my car anymore too much shit in your car I like I like listening to radio to break it up a little bit. Yeah when I'm at home I listen to old shit and repetitive shit and I have like a thing that's straight up on rotation on youtube It gets monotonous. You know what I'm saying? Yep, and it includes everything from tony benet to Sinatra to to guns and roses to fucking allison chains to Audio slave. I mean, I got every sound guard. I mean, I got everybody on there zeppelin. I was listening to this morning

I went to let that be rock AC DC all the one song I'll let that be rocked. I just not bad boy boogie Overdose overdose man go down. Yeah, all that's on there So I like when I get in the car to breath the fresh air To get in the car and listen to something I haven't heard or push push in the bush or whatever the fuck that I believe in that too because we get into a rut Even though I had thousands of records, I would always play like the same hundred like oh here it is Ironmaid numbered the beast, but when the serious xm I feel is really underrated. I got it on my phone now

and Man, it just the mystery of what's next is great like oh, yeah, I haven't heard this in years You know like I listen to that studio 54 channel. It is incredible. It's incredible. It's incredible They'll just break out like shake your booty out of nowhere shake shake shake sometimes they play really bad Of course and it's hilarious But and you giggle. Yeah, I remember this shit fucking cubans love this shit on bergen line. They would dance. This is terrible Yeah, but I like to break it up myself. So do I I feel this this is what I feel I think my generation

We were so connected to the album Yeah, if you were a musical fan and you We were so connected to the album You know, I can't I've been coming in here on tuesdays at four and doing a podcast with my daughter Oh, yeah, we tape it on the phone. It's not even a real podcast. We have two fake sponsors I give her 10 bucks But part of the process is after we do the podcast we play records. Yeah, I showed her how to you know, she likes crazy train She likes war pigs, you know go through different albums

But I see her her face lights up When she opens up the album and I break it down for her That musical experience was something that we don't get anymore the album I think that it let an artist be more It challenges an artist more a little bit more like When they came to me and they were like, you know, what cover do you want? I didn't have to say They're like, we paid some artists 20 000 through that sketch on me on that one fucking cd

Yeah, you know, I didn't want that fucking thing on my cd, but I had no choice. Right. It's kind of jump out It's gonna jump and I'm thinking back to back in black. Yeah whole argument with they didn't want to release it because it was black It almost never got released. Yeah, because the cover was black and they see dc fought for it But I like the album cover because it made the artist be creative towards the album It let you open it up And see what line of notes he put in there. Oh, yeah lyrics to the songs or Sometimes they gave you a treat that actually took pictures of the original page where they wrote the lyrics on love that shit They would give you it was more

I'll never forget when I did the longest yard And they sent me the dvd of it And I opened it up And it was just a fucking thing And I thought about how many fucking pictures I took on that fucking set all right how many hours of fucking pictures You know every day there was 10 fucking photographers taking pictures from everywhere on that set How many team pictures we fucking took how many pictures they took of us eating and fucking sitting there and cracking jokes and laughing All of us on up on a bench or at the hotel. They were even taking pictures

You're like, where the fuck and I open up this fucking cd and there's not a fucking thing in there God not a fucking thing in there Not a thing in there Zero thought into the art zero thought into the art But then I come here and I pick up wish you were here Oh, yeah, and you look in there the guys on fire and on the water brothers lot And you know you could and then even into the outdoor Led Zeppelin gave you a different one thing

They gave you the album covers you get a dry sponge Yeah, and go through the thing and it would turn different colors. They gave you something They gave you that little extra connection. That's what the tattoos Kiss the tattoos. Oh that connection has been lost. Yeah between The musician and the fan anymore tool went all out tool did a $40 cd It's out right now. How's it look? It sounds great. I think the album is great fucking thing, dude. You open it up It's got a booklet with all these photos in the middle It's got a player a cd like a player inside there

That you press and it just plays like these electronic loopy sounds and everything This thing is it's a masterpiece of of packaging. I can't they're gonna win A grammy on the packaging hands down because they do a grammy on packaging. You never see it It's the one they do like a week before a grammy packaging. Bye-bye, but this thing Is on and josh martin at stone at the store has two of them because they sold out the first run and they made another run unbelievable that and that g and r box set they did last year This fucking monster leather box that opened up and had duff showed me and had secret passages Like well, look at this a necklace and all this shit in there. That stuff is amazing. That's what we're missing now

That's the shit and you know what? People like me would pay for that. Yep instead of a concert ticket. Yeah at this price. You're right You know at this, you know, I would pay for that momentum Momento it has all the fucking albums and posters and pictures and necklaces That's kind of neat. That's what's been lost I think in music in the last 30 years, you know that little Last connection that we don't have I try to keep it with comedy With comedy I tried to keep that connection. Yeah, that's what's good about being a comedian today that if we get on

Modern what's the show on abc modern family? Yeah, and we got on the most popular show on tv for three years It never ends after that The fans or the people that tune to us now We could communicate with them on twitter or facebook link and then Whatever the fuck. Yeah, yeah youtube That's what's different from us To say somebody like jerry seinfeld had it totally different now We get on a show like right now. Gabriel could do those 10 episodes

And get online and talk to people about the show and what they live tweet the show and live tweet the show It's a different. I like that. I do too. I like that that I really enjoy I got the guitar picks I bring to the shows to give people that came out. I got the Grateful dean picks. I got stickers and and there everybody goes. How can I buy this? I go no, they're they're free when you come to a show I just give people stuff. They come up. Man. I love your podcast. Oh, here's a pick. They go. Wow They love that shit And I know they love it because I love that shit when I was young and I got a pick at a concert

Ted newton threw a pick out. I'd fucking be on the ground Digging through people's dirty sneakers. I got the pick. I had a couple picks. I just remember who picks they went Oh, I got I had one that I was really happy about I can't remember who the fuck I got some cars picks Actually, I'm gonna tweet them up today. They say the car is on them. And when I saw him I was me and this guy eric wettenkamp. We were the scavengers drumstick went I was on the ground you'd find money a pick some dude's fucking wallet You're like, all right payday, you know, like oh, I was crazy at shows. I got picks I got I got a pick collection. I'll knock you out, man. I love them. They're all in this word box

You ready for chicago next weekend? Oh, I'm ready for chicago. It's gonna be insane. Have you have you ever done that theater before? No, no way Dude, I can't wait. I did with rogan. I almost fell off the balcony. Oh, shit. What I'm doing cleveland tomorrow Me rogan Little ester. Oh And somebody else did that theater and it was spectacular. Oh, man that theater made me fall in love with comedy again

We put little s club. She blew it up Little ester was there with red band. I think there was a couple of us. But that theater Just that theater always wait you go in there. Oh, I can't wait next friday me you and kate quigley At the fucking chicago theater. I've done some amazing places with you, dude I was thinking about that haps theater when we did that. They had the turntable backstage How cool was that? We're playing fucking records drinking expresso's and cheese smoking dope and shit They know how to take care of you. I got was great And then uh, we did that good one. Uh, we did another one before that too. We did minnesota and more walkie

Yeah, 420. Yeah 420. Yeah. Yeah This one's gonna be great. We're doing sand fran What about when you fucking we were in the green room from the new york county festival And you came downstairs and you go you got to see this. Oh, yeah, just through a table the fight And there was a fist fight right in front of you That was crazy I got them full brawl I'm ready. We're doing sand fran and a second show got at it, right? Yes

My buddy just told me goes. Oh, I slept on the tickets. They had two in the back row I was like, oh, I don't know and I went back to get them there sold out and then there was another show at it I go, okay. You got like fifth row. I got score. That's a perfect weekend because it's right before fucking new years Oh, yeah, I'm coming back. We're gonna not have a podcast that week. Yeah, I'm going skiing with the family skiing I don't know if I'll get on show. It is skiing. I don't know if I'm getting again That's a youtube video for four million hits. I'm gonna go local. Oh, yeah. Oh, uh, big bear Yeah, one of these around here. That's great skiing for two families They have a house up there

Yeah, I'm gonna stay in sand fran and uh I'm gonna go see dead and co two nights when They're playing Supposedly this is what I hear And not confirmed yet allegedly But I hear they're going to be doing the brand new golden state warriors arena

Like 29th or sorry 30 31 So i'm gonna stay and then there's this giant Do you remember when tower records had those big record? Up painted on the front. They'd put up whoever the records were They're big huge wood album covers. Yes on the front. Yeah One of my favorite bands ever is the mother hips and their 30 year band and their uh They're they're they're one of my favorites underground kind of hippie neil young bad ass band Their first album cover was mounted at tower in sand fran and then they took it down. They kept it

And it's been in storage every since and the guitar player is giving it to me So i'm gonna rent a truck a u-haul And drive it to the house here and have it in my house this fucking 30 year old Big giant wood album cover in my hut So i'm gonna make it a weekend Hang out with some friends. I'm gonna go check out olympic guitars They make handmade guitars for like the dead and everybody

And maybe do a podcaster them. I'm gonna make a weekend out of it. You and I up there eating Chinese food We're gonna tear up some uh, what's that place we went we go, uh, I forget that after it's open after with the potato Yeah, we gotta go there And uh, we're doing kalusa friday. Yeah, and then saturday night that i love that weekend I love going out that weekend nobody's alive. That's crazy. He's out of work Nobody really has to go to fucking work or nothing and people are festive and people are fucking ready to go They've been in the house. It's fucking tuesday singing christmas carols

Arguing with people at best buy. Yeah, you know, they're done their fucking job is done now. They're just it's a countdown to a new year They're gonna lose weight. They're gonna walk. They're gonna take that pimple off their forehead. Yeah, you know, everything happens in five days It's a great day, but no i'm excited for next week. I can't wait to eat a fucking beef sandwich I can't wait cbd lions meeting us all of them lines gonna be there to meet us They hit me today. They said the whole team's coming. By the way, hold on one second real quick. Yeah Let me do a quick little read here. Well, I got you here real quick I want to talk to you people real quick the church. What's happened now one of our sponsors is policy genius I don't know if you know this but september is national life insurance awareness month

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Right now policy genius the way to buy life insurance Get it at policy genius dot com and tell them uncle joey sent you all right Back to our conversation here. I'm sorry about that. I love policy genius. I think they're a great little product there No, I look I need some health health care is what I need. I'm actually getting ready to sign up for the california uh california health care We are opening back up in october The sign-ups i'm gonna get on that. I got a hold off. I think i'm gonna be level one this year

I'm gonna fix this little tooth. Look at this little tooth. It looks like a baby tooth. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah So I can see they're gonna yank that out. Yeah, they're gonna yank that out You know when I was a kid I went to the doctor. He had a cavity. You did Now you go to the dentist and then you need a root canal immediately, but the tooth don't even bother me It's going to in the six months. Well, I'll come back then. Yeah. Yeah, I'll come back then Why are you taking me for 800 now and then you know, you can't go to the dentist today The the dentist used to be a simple thing. Oh, it's a fucking dentist the dentist looked at you and said, hmm You haven't been brushing lately. You've been eating candy. Have you not? Yes, I have

Okay, you have four cavities. We'll get them going You paid 280 or something and you went home now A little chinese lady comes in the back the dentist disappeared. I'll be back And all of a sudden like a filipina comes in those people will say anything And excuse me, mr. Joe. Yeah. Yeah, we want to talk to you about what you need today You need to do this and this and this and this deep cleaning. That's the scam of the center all the way deep on you So it's cost 6 000. Oh, but your insurance covers the 40 percent of that and you're deductible So your counter pollution would be 3200. What if I'm just having a fucking cavity? Yeah

What do I need a root canal and pulling shit out for you? Don't bother me. Yeah We'll see in six months there. It's going to I don't give a fuck about six months today What can we do today? Listen brush it Pull out the fucking plaque and let's fucking clean it up. That's it They try to scare you too every time they go deep cleaning you got deep plaque in there and it gets into your heart valves I'm like, wait Who came up with that one like five years ago. They're like, well, tell them it'll be heart attack Everybody's afraid of heart attack. I take garlic and parsley Pablo Francisco recipe. He's still ticking. I'll still tick

Pablo's made it this far on garlic and fucking parsley. He takes three pills at night. It takes all the plaque All the fucking maluchia sticks everything out of your heart valves And you're fucking you're walking around like door is day the next day clicking your fucking heels Jumping up and down. I have my dentist on and he told all the scams He just ratted all the scams out. Well, they just started with that shit a couple years ago If you don't clean your teeth it affects your heart. That's what they did. I've read about it I don't know how much of the scams. Gums or something, right? Yeah, deep cleaning of the gums. Look, I'm sure all right Whatever you got some plaque down there and then but I mean everybody's afraid of heart attack

So they just like well, just juice that up a little more here and then they charge you like 2,500 deep cleaning you're like what and then oh you need to gargle with this a week This is a $700 juice because you don't want to get an infection after we do the deep cleaning You're like and then you go out and your your dentist has the brand new lamborghini You're going. Oh, that's the fucking deep clean is deep cleaned my asshole for your lamborghini The green lamborghini fucker, you know I never experienced that before until I moved to LA. Yeah, they actually took me out of the chair once And brought me to another room to do the sale. Yeah. Yeah, that's what they do

They take you out of the chair and they're like, oh, this is what I left. I was like, no, fuck no Yeah, they got pictures They got all these photos. Look at this guy right here. He didn't get the deep cleaning Oh man, it's jaw rotted away. He's got no jaw now. You can't replace a jaw and you're just going. What the fuck is this? Hey, I got hearing aids. Oh, yeah, how are they? I got hearing aids I told my wife I said you know I don't know if you people believe me or not, but I'm gonna tell you something whenever I think of different situations

I always go back to the american family I always go back to the american family What would the regular american family do? if you know It's very tough to have a family today Both parents have to work You know, you get a flat it throws you off for a fucking month. Totally. I've been there. I know the fucking feeling, you know I went two weeks ago. I mean I'm guys. I'm a comic. I don't know about

Hearing aids or any other type of aid, you know, you go they test you Then they sell you, you know You're sitting there and I told my wife last night I go You know, I'm I thought I was a fucking criminal. I'm a felon The day I got the booklet from sag that I had insurance I remember going what are they talking about? Like I nobody ever gave me insurance. I had insurance in one of the unions. I worked with like, you know, right insurance and But what are you talking about insurance?

And then they made me fault this paperwork and you get vested when you're 45 If you're in the union 10 years And you hit 45 you're automatically Vested and you're guaranteed level two insurance. Oh man. Yeah, so my insurance is guaranteed I don't have to you know, everybody up to 10 year mark. Yeah, like if you're 18 and you get to sag Yeah, every year your insurance is based on what you make right exactly. So the first bracket is 23 grand Yeah, it's brutal now and that's like 38 three grand or something and to get level one is like 38 grand I don't know exactly right my wife said that I'm she goes. You're always eligible for two just from residual

Thank god. I shot all that shit Early on back when the money was made because those all residuals all count towards your sag earnings every year Wow, but I went to that thing It's nobody's business What I paid for those hearing aids, but I think I got fucked in the ass. Oh, yeah, but I'll tell you what I can't imagine if I didn't have insurance. Oh, right? So right away. I think of the american family now. They're only guaranteed for three years Whoa, you got to buy a brand new set every fucking three years. Is that right? Yeah, so the next time I go to costco

Oh, yeah Yeah, they got him there. Oh, you crazy. You know, I looked up costco last night I was strangling myself. Oh, well, I would have saved off the bet but the doctor gives you referral there Yeah, I'll send it to costco. They'll send it to the most expensive place right taking your fucking johnny goomba And you know, you got to pay but on the way home. I told my wife I go Think about the american family. Oh that doesn't have insurance and he has to pay for these every three fucking years Yeah, you know, think about that. So my heart. I'm always, you know, the other night we were talking about Yankee stadium. Did you read that article last week? Oh, well, there was an article that came on the new york times about a guy who

Got a notice from the stadium from the yankee organization that prices were going to go up So he said he's had it. They've raised him 40 percent 40 in three years 40 goes up in a fan for a baseball game. There's been a fan since I was a kid He goes, so I told him I thought about it They talked to my wife or whatever the story was and he contacted The new york yankees and told him he didn't want next year, but he wanted Playoff tickets this year. He didn't want to play off tickets, right? But they based the playoff. Oh, bullshit off the season ticket for next year

That's both. So if you don't get the season tickets for next year The price is double. So he goes he went back the next day and they took 1100 out of his account or something And he wrote on twitter. He wrote this whole thing the yankees have been a fan. I love you New york city is my heart, but That's it. I'm done with you yankees never again. You got me. I'm happy you got your 1100 and a 92 filing fee Oh, something crazy. Don't quote me on this. Yeah, right It was something crazy and he wrote that that's it. That's the last time they'll never go to yankee stadium again And that he'll always go away to watch it. Yeah easy there a trip

To st. Louis and watch him or something and right away. I thought about the american family Yeah, you know like new york ain't bad enough. You know how many fucking baseball games I went through growing up It breaks my heart it breaks my heart compared to what a kid goes today That's shea stadium. I knew it like the back of my head. Yeah seven dollar ticket five dollar ticket Me and my mom dollar night dollar night bat night, you know, whatever today that that whole thing like now when I do things I think about the american family. Yeah, me and lee always goof around about sushi. Dan. Yeah, me and lee love that Yeah, we love the happy hour. Yeah The one uh on sunset they have sunset in the valley. Yeah, yep, you know, yeah

Happy hour from oh my god. We always I always call them legal to happy out. Yeah, man. Yeah, I do the uh The taco tuesdays man everywhere in town Last night I did it. I did neil brennan's show at the west side taco tuesday at dollar fifty tacos immediately give me four I eat like a king for under ten dollars You know like great tacos. What's the place to silver lake when you make the turn on to From sunset where you hop right by the Yeah, it's the silver lake they do comey there once in a while. Oh, yeah, those are pickles in them Yeah, the place on the right there. It's like, yeah, I've done comedy there. So, yeah

That place is great taco tuesday, but it's very obscure. Yeah, I have like ground beef with pickles They have both before you go. Oh, yeah, try the tacos. Yeah taco. They're completely different from what you're used to I'll try but it's not bad if you got a date. You go down there Yeah, I used to take me there for alpha taco tuesday. We destroy 80 fucking tacos Oh, man, I mean, I remember I used to go to sizzler on monday's they would have the all you could eat ribs beef ribs, I think it was like 999 or 10 dollars and dude, we'd go in there and just rifle beef rib the big ones is

They're not there no more in hollywood Yeah, I think it is still there dude. No, it's not. I think it still is Look at that. Lee. I think I just saw her recently. I remember one time I was living with my girlfriend It was next to the sizzler. I mean one of my biggest movie roles in the beginning Yeah, it was a chaspom and terry movie with a bunch of stars that I forget the name of it now women versus men Women versus men women versus men. It was a one day shoot And they paid me nine hundred and thirty six dollars. I thought I was the clampets

I thought I was the clampets. Yeah rich before the money the check even came in the mail I took my wife to sizzler. We thought we were fucking the mafia With the peel and eat those fucking Katrina shrimp before Katrina. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, no I don't think they're there anymore. I think no No, no, they took down sizzler because me and my wife cried Because we talked about they weren't western. I saw the one on western recently. Yes robot. I was like, well, look at that We ate there a lot. God, it's gone. Huh. It was the one on the volcano. It was yeah, right? Yeah, it was next door to the Suzuki dealer the motorcycles. That's it. That's gone too. That's gone too

Yeah, that's all gone. Yeah, Suzuki. I think is gone as far as motorcycles. I don't see those guys anywhere I see Honda But I don't see Suzuki anywhere. I wonder if they're still selling dirt bikes and shit What they're doing this economy Chicago next Friday night. Yeah, we ready to go. I'm ready. Got Kate Quigley. Yeah We got fucking Dean Del Rizzi. Can't wait. We got your fucking uncle Joey. Yeah before anything real quick Let me talk to you people about something. All right. I gotta talk to you about we spoke at the beginning of the show Listen, man, you're young People will listen to this show a young

You know, I'm 56. I'm an old piece of shit, but you guys are young Now you've heard us talk about hymns and how they're helping guys look their best If you haven't yet, it's time to see what they're about Number one the problem is that 66 percent of men start to lose their hair by age 35 And once you notice standing here, it could be too late. I started losing my hair about two years ago It's going quick, but my eyebrows are growing like a mother To make up the difference. So is that hairline slowly starting to move backwards any bald spots? Yes Me listen, I'm 56 my hair served its purpose. Yeah, I'm married. What do I need fucking hair for now?

In fact, I want to lose my hair. Look like a fucking zombo so I can scare people Make my wife feel bad for marrying me boy. He got old quick He got your young But you mother you you little savages are young So the best way to prevent more hair loss is to do something about it while you still have it It's time to get a handle on those precious locks, right? I ask you do you want a bald spot to pop up on your hairline to receive? Or do you want to do something about it first?

Why do guys turn to weird solutions like spray paint and all that stuff when they could turn to medicine and science science Hit for hymns.com is a one-stop shop for hair loss skincare and sexual wellness for men Listen to me description solutions back by science hymns is helping guys be the best version of themselves With licensed physicians and FDA approved products to help you treat hair loss hymns was created by a guy who knows some men's health conversations are easier online than in person No more awkward in person doctor visits along pharmacy line

Four hymns connects you to the doctors online real doctors Which could save you hours completely confidential and discreet you answer a few questions A doctor reviews it and if they determine it's right for you They can prescribe you a medication to treat hair loss that is shipped directly to your door So do me a favor go to four hymns.com right now right right now I'm gonna hook you up with a complete hair kit for five hours today Five hours. We got uncle joey's here to help you guys out. Listen. You're young. You don't need to lose your hair

Go to four hymns.com right now And I'll get you started for five hours a month while supplies last and subject the doctor's approval See the website for full details and safety information. Listen to me This could cost you hundreds if you went to the doctor or a pharmacy somewhere else Go to four hymns.com Slash joey. That's four hymns f or h i m s dot com slash joey This podcast is also brought to you by My bookie dot ag

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So get ready iraq. We had to add a show in denver too. I love you savages Stay black. Have a great weekend. Thank you for tuning in to the church of what's happened now. Thank you very much dean Take this motherfucking mule Oh Who's gonna tell you when It's Who's gonna tell you things Are so great

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