Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #725 - Money will Come; Fall in Love with Something First

Episode Date: October 7, 2019

Joey Diaz on why making money is not now and never has been the primary goal in his life.  This podcast is brought to you by:  MyBookie.ag -  Use code promo Church to get a 100% match on your first deposit up to $1,000. Check out Joey's Instagram @madflavors_world on Thursday for a new video where Joey teaches you how to gamble. ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church    

here's for the first monday in soba october jesus deep into the motherfucking murky waters greetings from podcastville the church of what's happened now is brought to you by my bookie listen i go to my bookie for one reason it's fast it's easy and they pay when you win let's face it where your betting is just as important as who you're betting on if you're trying to bet on the nfl baseball mma which you missed out on saturday whatever the fuck my bookies got it i wouldn't be telling you guys to bet with them if they weren't the fucking best in the business do the smart thing if you're gonna bet football this

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recruiter the smartest way to hire kick this motherfucking mule league it's monday the 7th of october what are you fucking nuts or what monday morning you got excuses save for the fucking priest before he's fucked in the ass the church what's happening now it's kind of hard being a snowy the christ killer uncle joey keep coming up with punky ass shit like every single thing louis is the third is the guest today that's a little fucking guest this cuckuck this is dino kick this deal right now i got bitches in the living room getting it on and they ain't leaving till six in the morning so what you want to do i got a pocket full of rubbers in my home boys do too so turn off the lights and close the door what but what we don't learn about it

yeah so we don't smoke an ounce to this jeans up hose down why you motherfuckers bounce to this it's a beautiful motherfucking day to be alive monday the 7th of october the month is fucking is the 7th no yeah is it the fucking 7th yeah absolutely holy shit it's the 7th of october means this weekend i'm in kansas city uh-oh and then then on mother fucking saturday night that's how easy we had a great week last week the kickoff for so buck told a little drama there but it's got nothing to do with us you understand me uh you know when things like this happen people whatever what you guys got to understand the basic thing you guys gonna stand is that we all love each other very much so nobody did anything uh intentional whatever whatever anything is feeling everybody's

upset right now hopefully uh in time we'll get over this and realize we're just fucking crazy comedian friends you know that's what we have a couple weeks ago when andrew schultz was on he mentioned a couple things that didn't bother me they just really made me want to think and talk to you guys about it because it's real fucking important that you get what the basis of all this that we're doing here is you know whether it's podcasting whether it's stand-up comedy whether you're jenica jones and you're drawing pictures whether you're fucking uh you know bobble lingus and you work in an office you know we each have different things and we ended up and we chose our lives and and here we are but the weirdest thing that like if i could go back in time there's one

thing i'd do i'd beat the fuck out of my guidance counselor remember your guidance counselor he gave you all the wrong information there was i don't even know why they paid those motherfuckers if they're still guidance counseling schools you got to be like certified by me like you can't go telling people bad information and the information he instilled in me which is very easy to get sucked in by is money anytime you would choose a career when you were young people would say well it doesn't make any money you're not what are you gonna do you're gonna be a cop at 35,000 here and get shot out by people pay that for lunch you know we were such a society that's money driven when we're 16 to the age of 18 we can't wait to have fucking three dollars

so we could be that person with the yacht and the girls and the fucking bar and the fucking people hanging around you and the cars and the limos that's what you really think that's your basic belief like i can't wait my life will be so much simpler when i get to that point we always think of that point but we never think about how we're gonna get there especially from the ages of like 18 to 26 you think you're just gonna bump into it on the street like it's just gonna somebody's gonna see it we all have different fantasies you know like for me it was like starting like a drug network and making six million every six weeks like i couldn't even fucking control myself how can you make six million fucking dollars i couldn't even do little things how can you make six million

fucking dollars you know but i still remember being 20 uh four years old and one day i saw a picture of a ferroza test what is it ferrari ferrari testarosa whatever the fuck those cars are and i remember hanging hanging on my wall and i had i lived with uh a girl and three other guys at the time two other guys it was a four it was four of us and one of the guys came in my room we're talking about something he saw the picture on my wall and he goes is that your favorite car and i told him no i gave him some bullshit spiel you know when you're 27 23 whatever the fuck i was i gave him some bullshit spiel that was going to be my fucking car in three years you know and i remember him looking at me like and like he was like maybe two years older than me but he

was going he had gotten his college degree he was a very smart white guy very open you know he drank he smoked dope but he was in a pinch in his life like i was watching here i was with no college education making decent money at the time working a car dealership and here he was like you know he had this tremendous fucking degree but he couldn't get a job he was he would be up early in the morning and he was trying to i'll never forget this it's it's really weird he was trying to he would go to a thing called toast masters yeah they still have it so he would wake up like at seven in the morning and go to toast masters to overcome his fear of speaking in public and i remember that i'd be getting up and i'd be eating breakfast and he'd just be getting back

from the fucking meeting and he'd i'd ask him where the hell have you been and he was like i was at toast masters and i go what's toast masters and he goes it's like a group of men or women or whatever the fuck they get together and we talk and and i go so you go to a place to practice public speaking i didn't know that people had fear of public speaking or whatever the fuck it was i was used to public speaking every fucking day of my life at the at the deli or at the bar or on the corner on the basketball court at one point a day you know where i was from you had to fucking take control and talk some shit if not they thought they think you're fucking retarded so i didn't understand yeah you had to say something in my neighborhood if not they thought you were

fucking retarded like you were fucking retarded you don't say nothing so you had to you know to me when he said toast masters i was like what the fuck are you talking about let me go down i'll straighten those motherfuckers right i'll give them a speech of a lifetime and comedy was not even on my fucking radar then but here i went from being this fucking pathetic loser to just being a regular loser and i'm selling cars and i'm snorting coke and i had to set my regular life at the time but i really wasn't going anywhere and i kept thinking yeah if i do this and if i do that because i wasn't like i was just like you guys the work that was going to be involved to put in to become a millionaire or a multimillionaire whatever the fuck i was thinking i was going to be one of those guys

really yeah the work was just too much like i if they thought i was going to do if i really thought i was going to do it by working like that wasn't going to happen like i was making anywhere from seven to ten grand a month selling cars in 87 that was a lot of money that's a lot of fucking money and i remember that i used to be furious about the taxes oh yeah that's a i was furious about the taxes and and that was a job where they gave you a lot of cash bonuses and that makes it worse when somebody gives you cash like eight nine hundred dollars a month in cash and bonuses oh i would fucking cry like a motherfucker kicks you into a new tax bracket you make less money yes so i did not understand the whole thing of money but like i'm telling you guys

i was very confused thinking i was just gonna bump into it and a lot of us do we think well we're gonna bump into it and then our lives are gonna be fucking so completely different i can't tell you how many times i was laying brick i can't tell you how many times i was waiting for a fucking bus or waiting for a subway in new york city going to a fucking bartending job to make 12 15 hour plus tips i can't tell you how many fucking times i was like you know carrying fucking four by 12 this is the dog remember four by eight sheet rock i remember years ago when i had to carry four by 12 sheet rock up four flights of stairs in fucking hoboken new jersey when they were redoing hoboken in the early 80s like i did it all but what always made

me think that this is coming to an end was that i was going to become rich and then everything was going to fucking be hunky dory like i thought that when you saw somebody that had money right away it associated fucking this big uh this big bulge of happiness like in my mind if i had money i wouldn't do blow anymore i would be out of here every night i could eat out every day how i wanted to live my life i didn't have no idea i had no balance no nothing i got locked up when i got locked up it gave me a chance to clean up from the coke and i saw people that didn't have money behind bars trying to act like they had money and that's when it finally started hitting me like that money fucks with people like i never knew until the age of when it was too late 25

like when i first saw it how you know listen a couple weeks ago felicity helfman got i don't know three days in jail i don't know what she got i say a month or something like a month in jail and somebody posted a picture of a black woman next to her that said she got five years yeah for giving a fake address okay you know the way the law works especially today you know i was involved in all that shit 30 years ago so i don't know what's going on today but i could tell you it didn't get any better and it was all about money you know jeffrey eppstein harvey weinstein listen you get in trouble the more money you have the more you could allude a lot of this shit that people with a public defender don't have there's people

sitting in a fucking jail right now in america across our country that have a sentence that if they would have had seven thousand dollars the sentence would have been half because somebody would have spoken for them somebody would have fought for them when i'm a public defender if you know anything about fucking the attorneys a public defender just doesn't have one client he has 80 clients and he's a new attorney and he's trying to make his bones in the world to branch out into his own fucking office or partnership or whatever so he becomes friendly with the da's and the time in the county or the state where he practices and it's just like an agreement like i heard years ago years ago

way before the computer i heard a cassette playing of somebody taping a judge's chamber in new york city i had nothing to do with crime then like i was a criminal but i was not in the system then but i heard a tape recording once maybe on wpix about them negotiating a guy's deal you know so when the public defender goes in to see lee he just doesn't have joey dears on his docket he's got nine guys that he's going to see lee about so he walks in there and it's pretty soon like hey what are we gonna do about dears uh kidnapping too give him a mandate of whatever four to six years put a cap on it and they just run through them the way you and i run through a laundry list yeah it's like any other job it's like any other job that please

you know i'm saying and then if you go to trial this guy has got 80 fucking clients how prepared is he going to be for that trial so you know when you watch the oj trial you watch any big trial they got four or five fucking attorneys on on retainer there but that's not the case or whatever i learned what money did for you inside and listen when i got arrested i had no money you want me to tell you i had money in the bank and piles of money laying around the house i had fucking zero i had zero i had maybe i had been working i was 25 years old and i had maybe 32 dollars in the bank and you're making like what 80 grand a year wow 80 grand a year with zero in the fucking listen i always made money i always made money just waking up i'm one of those people

that leave let's get in the apartment what's the rent 15 we split 750 a piece what's the cable 150 plus the tv i'll just make a figure up and i know if i keep the figure under 3000 i don't need a job three thousand i can i can make three thousand dollars when i was a kid i can make three thousand dollars walking around in a month all right well how much of that was legal maybe half of it okay on the time you know i was the type of guy lee had a moving job for three days at 200 a day boom that's 600 yeah this guy's got an ounce of coke to sell boom that's 400 this guy's that needs two shifts somebody to carry meat for two nights this guy needs two nights of loading trucks this guy needs a pound of weed carried from jersey to new york

and you don't have the balls to do it'll give you 500 cash i could walk around make three thousand a month i did it all my life is this okay i did i did it just breathing just breathing you think of the money i spent on blow just the last seven years from 2000 to 2007 i was getting 125 dollars a set that what what what money was i making i was still making 15 at the comedy store if i did the improv or anything else they'd give me anywhere from a buck 25 to 175 i was still putting 2000 a month in my nose jesus my monthly coke bill and cat and drug bill weed had to be you figure 60 a night times four

that's 240 times a thousand a month four that's a thousand a month that's just if i did a grandma night four nights most nights i pop two grams some weeks i snorted five nights instead of four nights but i always average four nights plus the two eighty dollar bags of weed i bought a fucking week so so i think we're skipping a little bit because you said you when you were younger money was really important that sounds like at this point money you didn't even care about no but that's not the point i'm okay okay i'm sorry when i was just trying to make a point here that when i was you can make money when i was your age i can make five just waking up okay eating breakfast out no groceries at the house eating three meals out i i didn't drink right you followed

me so i went without and most areas where people go with and that's how they blow their money i didn't buy underwear i just wore jeans it was straight cock i bought socks i bought you know i took care of all that stuff but i didn't go on vacations i didn't go to concerts i didn't do any of that money my money was for house bills eating and snort that was my money dating women whatever the fuck you did all right and when i came out of prison i immediately got a job selling cars and i went back to making money i sold Mitsubishi's and i went back to making between five and eight at this place okay after taxes and the whole thing it doesn't bang out to a lot of money you know uh plus in starting trumpet did your when you started making more money would

you snort more oh absolutely yeah okay the more you fucking make the more in my my raising was the more you fucking made the more you spent in your nose your friends more eat now we'll make more tomorrow there was always tomorrow there was always fucking tomorrow there was always tomorrow and every job and every move that i made had to be around money okay i was a slave to money like 90 percent of americans are oh it's huge for me i i'm now it's getting less but it was huge for me but you also have to remember when you're 21 and you're in that middle range you attribute everything to not having money wait till i have money and i'll have a girlfriend wait till i have money then i'll be happy wait till i have money i don't have my shit together and that's what i want to discuss

how wrong that attitude is to have everybody thought that once boom you think because you get when the fucking lottery 52 million that the next day every day is sun the next day is sunshine the world the universe karma just doesn't give a deal like that you got to lose something along the way you got to sacrifice something along the way that's why it was so hard you know it was so hard for me to get on stage because the thought of not making money cringed me it's part of the reason why i took me so long it cringed me the idea of starting something right now if i went to one of you guys i know my buddy matt oh my up and fucking mil walkie you know he works i don't know what the fuck he does i could see he works hard or whatever

if you're working you know you're learning a trade whatever when you come to me right let's say i okay let's say i do brick okay let's say i do brick work i do residential brick work and a little bit of commercial very lightly okay like just maybe two stories of 12 inch block that's it maybe one row of scaffolding like i'm one of those guys you know like that's it and i have my crew is me and two other masons and three laborers okay and we work a full summer and the one kid has to leave i got one kid that's a dutz he just wants to shovel make fucking cement and make sure we're all happy all day making sure the cement is moist making sure we have bricks making sure we have more water more water more water you know like making sure their job is done

when you're a hottie that's what you do you you have three brick layers and you have to be one step ahead of them and that's the better entry level the entry level when you're you know you're putting in 16 scoops of sand into a cement mixer or eight i don't know the bag of whatever and you're putting hose water in there and then you dump it into the thing and you mix it up really good and you put it into wheel barrels and you give it to them in buckets or they have like a thing a piece of wood you lay it out let's pretend you come to me i i'm watching you every day i'm watching you're talking to the last guy on the line the boozer guy that's a great you're talking to him and every once in a while i see that he has you measuring putting a level on the wall and he shows you

something or every once in a while he goes come in and he makes you pick up the spatula and put it on i'll pull you aside one day after work and i go listen here's the deal i can see you have a mild interest in this fucking game we're doing here what am i paying you 12 50 an hour i'll tell you what i'll do i'll give you 15 i won't hire another guy you're gonna do both those jobs but when your job is done you're gonna come next to me and lay brick so you're gonna be a hottie you're gonna be a hottie and you're gonna learn how to lay brick and you're gonna join the union and that night you're going to go to a vocational school where they do it again like it in the old days i don't know about today don't yell at me in the old days

if you joined a laborers union and then you joined a brick layers union they had an apprenticeship program you had to have a certain high school diploma you had to have certain grades in high school blah blah blah blah when you start there the union and you're a union whatever and you're in between it's the same thing you're assigned to three masons once the masons are taken care of and all the paperwork's picked up and all the fucking bricks for tomorrow are put in those situations over there because tomorrow they're going to be moving over there so that's probably three thirty in the afternoon so till the sun comes down you're going to go over and lay brick with this guy

and every day you're going to get more and more duties and sunday nunsio doesn't come in and guess who's going to lay brick that day for nunsio you and you're going to also make mortar and you're also going to make the coffee run and you're also going to get me a newspaper you know we're gentlemen here nobody's saying you're not a slave we're paying you that's what you didn't but i'm also charging thirty dollars an hour for you okay okay so anybody who knows labor when i pay you ten dollars an hour i gotta pay that other thing ten dollars an hour i forget what it is or unemployment whatever so you're not really worth ten dollars an hour to me you're really worth twenty dollars an hour to me so that's when you're being looked at by an employer

after everything workman's company everything is double that right okay now what i'm gonna do is i'm gonna bill you out as a hard carrier so i'm gonna bill you out at three days with three hard carriers when i do my estimation at fifty five dollars a day at sixty five i don't know what they get don't fucking quote me on this shit but you're still gonna get your fifteen dollars for three years i don't feel bad because you're getting an education and even though you're still running around with other hotties and they're telling you how they're walking with twenty seven an hour in the union you're gonna go fuck where's my money and then one day boom there you are you're a hard carrier now you're getting your twenty six twenty

and you're fucking overtime and your benefits and all that stuff that's if you're union i'm saying if i'm just a mom and pop operation it works the same way but somewhere another you're gonna give up stuff some days i'm gonna go leave guess who's working sadly you are and guess who's running the show you are and you're gonna go on usually a guy that runs the show gets thirty five hours now not today i'm the one that wiped your ass three years ago so until that time until you're really really ready to do this whole walk by yourself can you do this whole ball by yourself not yet okay then then shut your fucking trap all right and and that's the same thing with comedy like i started dicking around with comedy in like 89 December of 89 and i didn't get on stage

to the set until July or June of eight of 91 that procrastination i could lie to you guys it was fear but the other procrastination was if i get into this how am i gonna feed myself you know i had that opportunity about the hot carrier right i had it that's why i know how it works well i and correct me if i'm wrong but i think comedy is a little different in that you don't have at least with the the hottie you're making minimum wage 10 whatever you're making at least where i am i'm almost two years in if i get 50 it's huge that's a party if i like that's you shouldn't even get a dollar till you're in it for four years right but that's not a dollar so you're like so it's even less than so it's like i was fortunate my first year in comedy i was picking up $50 every Tuesday wow i'm

in 2400 a year my first year in comedy for two years i had a certain gig that paid me $50 a week and you people like joey 2400 a year really yeah yeah and guess what i was fucking proud of every 24 of those hundred dollars i was proud of every one of those dollar bills every one of them i would take them home on a fucking one well that money never made it home but i would look at those 50 dollars and an envelope every tuesday and go i can't believe they're paying me because people at my level don't get a dime for five or four years right like my second gig they basically gave me a five dollar bill that's crazy for gas and the door it was a fucking two-hour drive what five hours what five hours five hours don't cover what got to you yeah but that's what it was

so it was really weird when i got into comedy before i even entered comedy i had to do something and for six months changed how i was thinking i had to change my thought process completely i had to change my thought process if i'm not wrong i remember writing it out that i'm not gonna make any money for 10 years now after writing it out the reason why it didn't scare me that much was because i had confidence in what i was doing in the daytime on the streets whether it was bringing back coffee machines at that time i was fucking uh i was a tile i had laid tile with a guy basically i caulked tile he would fucking lay the tile and i would get in there with knee pads on and fucking fill it all

in i forget what it's called and then fucking wash it down and i would break my back for fucking i think he paid me 75 dollars a day cash he was a cheap fuck i broke my fucking ass for that i also realized when i got into comedy i couldn't be doing my drug activity and if i did do a drug activity i had to keep it to a minimum because if you're an open micro or you're in a feature act and for some reason you get arrested and it gets out it's gonna be a rough fucking season for you for a couple years that's a three-year setback because you can't be trusted just it's just a blemish you you're starting out and already you're ending up in fucking jail we're getting in trouble right i don't want i don't want him

in my club yeah especially react i don't want him in my fucking club i don't want him in my fucking club he's already getting in trouble we got a trouble for drugs not worth it he's not even a drug yeah he's not even nothing why would i want him in my drug club you know the first time you do something on a triple run they just can't see you triple wouldn't even tolerate that shit you know he would play with you a little bit he understood alcoholism and comedy and all that stuff but they don't even play with you so i knew right then when i got into comedy that my criminal activity had a curve and here i am in the height i'm fucked guys i'm doing comedy for years and i'm feeling it i am feeling it for the first time in my life what am i feeling i'm feeling that maybe

just maybe i could start going on the road and playing clubs like that's the point of my career i was at i were already done 20 weeks of tribal work but i was feeling so fucking good like i'm like you know what i'm ready for a club now whatever they throw at me mc feature i'm ready i'm ready i was calling clubs up trying to get mc work i remember borrowing money and a kid gave me fucking rented a car for me for me to drive to arizona 16 hours and showcase in those days you had to drive and showcase and put yourself up and i got down there and somebody was from jersey and somebody was from the bronx and one thing led to another next you know i was sleeping on the couch woo that saved me 40 dollars or a nap in the car and 22 chiropractors you know they made breakfast

that saved me money you know then the guy said why don't you stay again tonight and do some guest spots tonight and i stayed again the guy who you could stay at my place again you know again the universe always takes care of you but you have to make the first step towards that universe you know i was telling my uh there's a this is an embarrassing story there's just a story that i should tell you guys because this is something that happened there's a one of my daughter's teachers when mercy was just in pre-k whatever the fuck my wife and her became tight my wife and her and another teacher became tight my wife is still in very good standing at that preschool they go out at some nights the mothers go out they go to fucking that bar around the corner and they talk

and they talk or whatever but uh this particular teacher lives by herself you know she is a hustler i mean she's a fucking non-stop she walks dogs she takes care of kids she'll pick your kid up and drive him to school for the extra small 20 you know it never ends she's a hustler and she likes my wife's cooking so there's certain nights that if my wife cooks something i'll say hey text her tell her to come over and we got the the dodger game on she's a big time fucking dodger fan and i gotta tell you something guys when she comes over i love it because it keeps my wife out of my it keeps my wife entertained which my wife needs because all day long she's talking to a child or she's talking to mommy mommy mommy or she's talking to me you know i'm saying after a while

you need to talk to other fucking adults about whatever i don't care what they talk about when there's when she's there this lady's usually in the kitchen standing with my wife and me and my daughter watching tv until i get ready to go to the comedy store there's some nights while i'm in the comedy store my wife will call and say hey miss whatever staying over tonight so don't sweat the small stuff she's leaving at six i don't i go in my office at night i smoke dope it's like she's not even there she probably spends two nights a week at the house really i didn't know that two nights a week she comes over eats uh some night she comes over eats leaves goes to a dodger game and then since she lives like up the fuck the 101 she just crashes at the house takes a shower in

the morning brings clothes and goes right to school over here i don't even see it by the time i get up she's gone the room is clean she makes the bed very self-sufficient the point of the story was when i was fucking broken shit this is a weird story when i was broke as fuck i was living in bold i was given all my money it went 50 50 those days half of it went to the attorney and half of it went up my fucking nose and the other half went to chinese food i was swimming at the y i was lifting weights in my apartment i i didn't have cable i just i don't know if i i think i stole cable from the landlord i had the cable i stole the wire to the tv and i connected to my tv i was a fucking mess but there was a kid i worked i worked for a sports betting service

and my first job wasn't very good you know it wasn't that i was very good it was i was snorting so much coke that um it had blocked when you snort so much coke it it blocks the communication from your brain to your heart to your words that's why if i did coke the night before i had a big show i always ate a bag of dick i always felt like i was up on stage with no control i was just saying the words so it's weird i was a good salesman but i was in such bad shape psychologically the divorce you know the kid i wanted to do stand-up comedy here i am calling people tormenting them for their credit cards this shit you know it just wasn't a fucking fun place for me but i would go home at night and i would go to my little apartment and i would

take a shower and go do comedy you know and sometimes even if i didn't have a spot i'd still go to a spot because i'm looking for a spot and somebody would go hey guess what uh tibby jones has a room two miles from here it's a shitty pizza place but just by me showing up there i got to do a spot somewhere else and i gave me a pizza and he gave me a pizza to go home so fuck it would turn you know that's what you do but there were nights man when uh they would just catch up to me the whole week would catch up to me and i was young and vero and i was you know i slept three four hours a night and there was a guy over there his name was sammy i used to call him sam sammy funky called medina sammy was maybe my age at the time we were both in our early 30s yeah yeah

but sammy had hooked up with a 50 year old chinese woman that was one of the most nicest people you ever met in your life her family owned a couple chinese restaurants embossed wow this is how big time she was they met in connecticut and they dated for a couple years and they moved out to bolder to try to do whatever the fuck they were doing i used to call her white part of my because she was chinese and i used to call him sammy funky called medina and when i was at my darkest guys i mean when you're doing comedy and you're not making uh progress i was making progress but i wasn't i wasn't up to the progress where i wanted to be you know like i was making progress and i didn't know it just me going out every night and writing and dedicate myself to it and

you know missing out on parties and always doing comedy first by 94 i had already made a certain discipline for myself that this is what it's going to be there's no weddings there's no nothing this is it if you want to do after i saw like a samos i was done that's this is how it's done there's no other way if you want to do comedy but there were nights man that there was really nothing going on like on the weekends i could do a guest spot at mckelvies or uh fucking witsend or the other club in those days the comedy works wouldn't give you guest spots and i wasn't a regular so my sunday through thursday i was busy as fuck comedy wise but friday and saturday i would have a dick and this fucking dude would call me up i lived maybe

50 yards from his house i would go up to his house i would go upstairs his wife would cook something for me chinese szechuan beef shredded pork uh twice cooked pork make it out of a house in a walk restaurant style she used to make egg rolls she used to make spare ribs and i would go over there eat like a lunatic and then they would ask me to stay and watch a movie with them and my choice every night was that stupid movie with bruce willis and damon wanes when there he's a football player and uh bruce willis is a detective and eddie griffin was in the movie eddie griffin was the dj in that movie and i must have watched that movie a hundred fucking times i would watch it over and over and over and this is how nice these people

the last boy scout the last boy scout this is how nice these people were to me if i was watching something on their tv they would say joey we're going to bed the refrigerator is yours if you need to call anybody the phone is yours wow the remote is yours stay here i did that like maybe 20 times and then they started telling me dog just spend the night when you wake up she'll make you breakfast you go home you take a shower and we'll drive to work together and that's what started happening and it was like i would stop and try to get groceries for them they took it but they didn't like it they knew the situation i was in they just took care of me they just took care of me if i had a show somewhere that was dirty miles or farther

they would drive me wow i didn't know that they would drive me and pick me up and take me back and he was in the comic he just worked no he was the farthest thing from a fucking comedian there was but he just took care of me just out of the kindness of his heart i'll never ever ever forget that we stayed in touch for a couple years we stayed in touch for a while and then we lost contact and then he got my email somewhere another and we connected while i was shooting the longest yard not after it came out while i was shooting it we connected i told him i sent him the pictures you know and uh he was really happy for me and shit him and the chinese chick broke up she went back to boss and the father died and left the 10 million okay so there was no use of

being with him anymore and he was doing and we scot along till about 2006 and then he made a bad call he called me up asking me to hook him up with adam samer and joe rogan and i said i couldn't do that because uh that's the reason why i'm friends with him because i never break that trust and he took it the wrong way and never called me again and that's what happened but the moral for that story was that now i get to do this for the school teacher that's a young girl that's great she's great to me she knows i get high she giggles on the mind you know it's so weird how life repeats itself it's so weird how you know i was having a rough listen there's a couple reasons why i'm having a rough fucking

week psychologically you know for starters this november 8th is gonna be my mother's 40th death anniversary and uh tuesday which will be the 8th tomorrow yeah dad was thinking about that was it that was right now 40 years ago that was her last month and she didn't know she was gonna die you know and i'm trying you didn't know and i and i didn't know and i'm trying to think of anything and then thursday night i was sitting there with mercy and i go my wife had like a pt 8 thing right so i go terry if you want i'll drop you off at the school i'm gonna take mercy for frozen yogurt terry's like it's seven o'clock at night what's wrong with you i don't give a fuck she needs to go out at dark anyway so i took her out we went to this frozen yogurt place and

was sitting there guys and she asked me a question about her being a baby and her crib and i go why are you asking about this now and she goes because i kind of remember and i go yeah yeah you're absolutely right i go it was and also i go you know gave me that crib mercy Ralphie may gave me that fucking crib your uncle Ralphie his dad he's in heaven now he's with the angels eat and all of a sudden three kids and a man walked out of the fucking store and all of a sudden i saw the three kids stop and say something to the man and the man turned around opened the door walked in and it was mad oh g number one no way the guy that Ralphie and me used to buy the weed from well Ralphie and me Ralphie used to buy the weed from the mad old

g number i've heard you talk about my ass i thought he was like that's weird i ever spoke they came in they gave me a hug and he shook my hand and we talked a little bit he goes you know i still think about you and Ralphie he goes i got into the vapor business into the cbt business because i still grow mats number one oh and he goes uh i'll give you a call next week and we could meet here or something like that i'll give you a little bag i got left that i just grew and as he walked out he goes it's weird Ralphie's gonna be gone two years and it was yesterday i was just gonna say it's so quiet i couldn't believe it was two years fucking two years so this week was just the one when he told me all like just that was Ralphie sending me a man message

like that was Ralphie just that that's kind of those are the kinds of signs i get from spirits they send me a message from time he sends you weed he sends me fucking weed the other night i'm fucking sitting here i went to the comedy store did you notice i was here the other night oh when you had a heineken yeah yeah no no i had the heineken okay i came by the other night after the comedy store and i'm sitting in this fucking chair the door's wide open i came over here to roll a fucking bone or do something i came over here just to get out and i came over here and i sat right there and all of a sudden i said to myself wouldn't it be funny if the fruit guy because it was about 11 30 and sure enough two minutes later bang a papaya bang a papaya and i go fucking Ralphie

lives this is just last week so i didn't i thought his death anniversary was the 17th that's how confused i am that's how fucking fucked up i am but anyway my heart goes out to the may family and uh i said a little prayer from yesterday a little candle i'll cut a chicken heads off one day this week it's a good time gotta cut a chicken give some fucking blood into it but back to the money thing it was so weird for me to say okay i'm gonna give this comedy shit a try but i made myself a decision i said i'm not gonna quit but before i get involved i'm not gonna make money for 10 years so you already you already knew that it was a 10 year process i was i had already in 1993 when i went for it because up to 93 i was driving a limo

i was doing everything i could and not putting enough effort into comedy you know i'm saying like i just the effort really wasn't there i was showing up but i was showing you know it's like i think of people that go to work every day from nine to five and then go to a spin class at seven i fucking applaud you i fucking applaud you i do four things in a day i can't man every night i go i'm gonna go to kickboxing at six and it's 20 to six and i'm like that's a little like i'll make kickboxing i'll make kickboxing every day at nine a.m at night i can't do shit just do fucking comedy so when i got into the comedy i swear to you guys in 1993 november 93 when i moved back to october of 93 when i moved back to colorado i said i'm

dedicating my life to comedy i've i do coke i'm with women i'm fucking nuts and you know what i'm still not happy so even if you threw a bunch of money at me you know i lost my daughter i fucking lost my mother i went to prison you know i had i had a point where i had nothing fucking going on and i said well this is the best time to get in the fucking comedy like we said the other day nobody shows to an open mic in the Lamborghini you know and when i got into comedy i never let that get in my way i i could be honest with you all the way i told you guys a story about that lady that i used to do free sets and people used to tell me why do you do free sets she should at least give you 20 bucks i don't want her fucking money and i'm gonna show

her that i'm better than she is and in the end she's dead and i'm still here rocking and rolling so what are you fucking trying to tell me here the gift of any art the gift of your life guys the biggest thing you could overcome right now i know you got a lot on your plane i know you're gonna enjoy you're coming from a weird place no i'm not coming from a weird place i slept in plenty of corners i slept on plenty of park benches i slept on fucking couches i slept on floors don't tell me i didn't fucking do this shit yes let's be honest let's put it on the table it was my fault partially because of my ghost and my little things but i did sacrifice a fucking lot and i'm telling you one thing i didn't think of money until i had to talk about commercial what year was that 98

oh so it didn't take 10 years but that wasn't comedy i guess so it wasn't comedy right no it wasn't comedy so and i know you had the coke issue and you had your daughter so there were things that you didn't have a perfect life but in those five years were you happier like where you all fuck let me tell you something here i am and just a lot of you guys are young you don't know before nissan it was dotson bitch in 1996 let me tell you 95 i had a dotson b210 i think it was a four speed a five speed with a clutch i had four doors i was doing comedy seven nights a week i live for today i had zero responsibility zero responsibility you know my responsibility was getting work the next week

and i already had 20 feelers out one of them was gonna come through even if it was a friday or saturday you know i still remember going up to do something for triple and like the decoders and being all the way up there looking at the map there was no fucking looking at the map and saying fuck i gotta go through like four states to go home that's what i learned about doing comedy on the way back and i called this couple and they was dean and dana McGraw they had a company called something entertainment and one of the few times i you know you know like right now the biggest complaint is i can't make a good tape or good luck you're never gonna make a good tape if you know you're getting taped right yeah so one night i went somewhere

when i got off some guy said hey man i had my camera rolling do you want the footage and it was like one of those nights i did like 20 minutes and 14 of it were good it was a bar and you could hear it and you could see it and i sent it to them and they called me back they sent me a letter saying you could co-headline and i'm like oh boy these people really don't know what they're doing i got like fucking 20 minutes and they're co-headlining me i didn't have 20 minutes this is a lie i didn't have 20 minutes 20 minutes was a stretch because i was at a bar show right yeah this was like six minutes that i looked out on and i sent them the tape and i'll never forget just saying let me give them a shot and giving them a call and i'm going we got a gig but it's wednesday and thursday

and they're like where are you and i told them what dakota whatever the fuck dakota was and in those days tripple would pick your 50 he would pay you 50 bucks he would pick up 50 bucks jean he would send you a balance of a check for 50 in the mail which you would get three weeks after you got and you were featuring you were featuring okay wow 50 bucks so whatever i'd say i did four nights for him i had 200 minus the gas and the subway sandwiches i was eating the veggie and jesus and i'll never forget saying i'm in whatever and she goes well we have a condo and such and such if you could make it to there you could stay there for free until wednesday night then they'll put you up in a hotel whoa but it was so hard to understand to to go from loving money to loving

something else where the money doesn't matter there's a part in your life where a lot of you people are listening to this show going showy i don't know what the fuck you're talking about yes you do one day you're gonna come to the point in your life where you're gonna go i don't know what all this fuss was about i feel the same whether i get a bonus or i don't get a bonus i feel the same whether you know i'm broke or you know when i grew up i grew up with an air conditioner in my room carpeting a cable tv in my room every type of fucking soda you know i went to basketball camps my mother fucking threw me money plus i hustled and i went from having all that to living uh sharing a bedroom with a guy on a piece of a floor we just threw beds on it

we were six inches apart the tv was stolen and we put album covers up around the room so you would think we had art in the fucking room so i know what it is to be living like a doctor to be living like a fucking mook and a half hearing mice in the room next door while you're sleeping you know i've been there i've been throughout the whole thing but trust me in 1996 and 97 and 98 yeah i had a pain in my heart deep about my daughter and yes i was missing meals and yes i was barely making it but i was as happy as could be because i was doing what i wanted to do well that was my question do you think and obviously people if they have kids they have to make a certain amount of money but do you think if you're really worried about the money

you might not love what you're doing because like for me like no no no no i had two spots at the store last night i could not wait all day to go down that's my point and then for $15 yeah there's no money there at all that 15 after taxes you remember i tip out more than i make when i go down there no that's what i'm saying so i think about that when i go to the economy store you lose money i tip out more than what i get if i get a water and valet i tip out more than what i get just with the valet usually yeah just the valet i tip out and then the guy a water they're young comics they're all hustling they're all trying to make a living how can i not support them so uh

that's why you give back when you get older as an older comic that's how you give back by helping out the younger fucking comics you know there's nights i go to fucking park my car as i walk out shing fowl the chinese kid and some other white guy walking out with a fucking thing full of garbage that was not included in there i want to be a comedy resume dream but they're at the store they're amongst great comic they're in the fucking energy that they're involved people are talking to them you know when i see them dump it you know i i feel in my heart but i ain't that was fucking me 20 or 30 years ago at wit's end i had to take garbage out and the worst is when you go throw the thing out the bottle hits the floor and that old beer hits your jeans yeah they got to drive home

sticking like an old beer with a marble or in it or the bag or shit like that i i when i go down to the economy store i lose money when i walk in the economy store and i lose it on purpose because you have to give back you have to give backs at some point all these things sammy the fucking chicken Nebraska all these things that people give you you have to give back the knowledge that they're getting from you isn't the 20 dollars the knowledge they're getting from you is how you should hold yourself up as an older comic as an older man you know i'm trying to make up for all the fucking mistakes i made as a young kid i saw i'm trying to be the best i can on a daily but i didn't you know when i got to talk about commercially that money yes put coke in my nose but that money

went to a big chunk of child support that money went to a big chunk of an attorney that i owed money to and a big chunk of that went to the stripper i live with for rent and god knows what else because she was charging me back rent oh you know me 300 from july in seattle i'm taking that yeah she was just cheap as fuck she's so that's why i had a robber at the time i give it to you then take one out of a purse just to make it even somewhere it's gotta be an even playing ground it's not all about you but uh then i didn't do nothing we then i was worth living on the road and fucking 100 cents a night after the type of bell commercial went down i disappeared and went on the road the the cbs pilot commercial that money i got half of that went to the attorneys half of that

went to the stripper that's how we got our apartment on hollywood boulevard and the other half went just to have money in my pocket i didn't know what it felt felt like to have more than $1 in my pocket at one time since 1991 to 1998 i didn't know what it was like to have $400 bills that belonged to you because i would basically go cat even when i worked at the sports bed in place i would cash a check and have to make eight money orders of people i owed money to eight or nine money orders if i made three thousand dollars i knew 25 of that was going on i pay my debts i gotta pay him what do you want me to do i gotta fucking pay him you know don't get me wrong i told the credit card companies and people to suck my dick

damn they make it the people who matter yeah the people who mattered the people who mattered i had to pay back i borrowed money from a dear friend of mine i had to make a fucking payment loan with him after i made bail you know there was a thousand people i had to make right with and you eventually pay the credit card to pay no i didn't oh no i thought that was that was that seven years no no those are the pay my wife's credit card loan back okay i'm talking about my debt from 92 and 93 it takes seven years for it to disappear off your oh it just goes away yes i don't know but it's six years of them hey hi lee how are you joe from discover card you know i'm saying right you're gonna pick up a phone to call your mom a pay phone and before you could pick it up

they would ring and it'd be joe from discover how are you i see that you're um you're because they used to you know there was no website in those days but when somebody posted i was gonna be somewhere like a fly i don't know from from 92 to 97 in seattle until i got the 1-800 line i got calls everywhere they would call the comedy underground still collectors three years later because what the big companies do is sell it to a smaller company for a percentage of it for 25 cents on a dollar and they try to recoup their money so it's constantly and it's just a write-off so somebody told i was ready to go file for bankruptcy and somebody said don't file bankruptcy just go underneath go underneath and don't answer the calls

and eventually little things dropped off little things dropped off little things i was very devastating for me i don't like all the money no i had put myself in such a credit card debt i had put myself in such a credit card debt that wasn't for me it was to spite my ex-wife years later i realized that it was to spite my ex-wife so she would get burdened with the debt a man enough to admit it you know and then they threw it out of court and i got stuck with the fucking debt so at the end it backfired into my fucking thing you know so you pay for what you reap what yourself you know but that was a big thing that people really don't understand if you don't love what you're doing i say this to people all the time if you can't do it for free you know

when people say hey what are you doing on sunday we like nothing i'll be home you want to help me move there's pizza involved and you're like i think i got a podcast that day i got like 18 fucking podcasts that day you know thank goodness yeah if if we don't love something we don't tend to do yeah we want to help out our friend we'll go over there pick them up you know like that day with the tape we call john salami we have some friends that helped us you know but i'm talking about but once you do something just for the money it wears on you so just before quickly before you go ahead was there any point in this 10 years whatever however many years it took you to start making money that you were like you know what i hate these calls let me go make some money and

forget call me i was so deep in the hole again you asked me a couple weeks ago we go through it every three or four months when do you know when do you know when do you know when i put my deck down on that news on that piece of paper and i added up i forget what the number was i really do genuinely do but it wasn't a good number like a hundred grand someone doubled that wow okay so here's the deal people if i owe you 200 000 you come to me and you go joey i need that 200 g's i could give you 25 grand the year every six months whatever the terms we come to but once you're running the clock on me you're never gonna get ahead oh yeah that's what the credit cards exactly want to do it's like 20 percent interest it's 20 percent

and the clock is always running so if your minimum payment is $20 and you're making a $50 payment you're in no danger you're in no danger for a long time i was making these minimum payments and i would look to see at what i owed and i realized that no matter how i came to terms with it you know i went to a consolidation company i don't know who it was back then in 19 before i left for new york in 93 january 93 or 92 one of those years i went to see one of those depth consolidation companies and whatever he said to me it was not gonna work like it was like he could have narrowed it all down to like 1200 a month for 14 years and that was about me living me paying child support me paying the attorneys that was just a credit card bill wow he would have

broke it down into two loans for me even though i didn't since i didn't have credit it would have put me into a high risk so my interest rate would have been higher and lee it was just a trap that i would have had a bankrupt anyway there was no way there was no way i could pay the credit cards child support the attorneys and live a life there was no way i was not living a grandiose old life and i was trying to if i could sell an eight ball to cut back on me spending a 50 i would do that i always sold drugs or something just to cut back on that but at that point i looked at that number i knew that was a tape that was unattainable i knew i had to throw my hands up and as bad and as fucking shitty as i felt for putting somebody

in those conditions you know you lie to yourself and you tell yourself things to make you feel better are they making up an interest they rob other people the fact this remains the same i did all the money and that was it i bro i had every card imaginable you know but there were people on that debt list that i could have told them to go fuck themselves but i didn't because i knew them i knew the time that dad gave me the money that they were going through a hard time and they believed in me so those people i called up like a man and i said listen i know i owe you two grand but all i could say is 50 a month you know what li you're gonna get pissed at me for about a month or two and then you're gonna go you know what i gotta give the kids some character at least he's doing

at least he's trying at least he's at every month he gives me 50 bucks on the first and he comes to my house he brings my daughter a toy and he talks to my wife and you really can't be mad at those people that's what i did i did that with a ton of people i have a friend in mississippi i owed thousands to there's one guy still i owe money to and i've asked 20 people because he gave me money again another guy that went into a bank account that didn't have money and he gave me money to help my dream that dotson b210 i talked about right he bought it whoa he bought it eight hundred dollars put the insurance on it put new tires on and got it road ready for me those are the people i've had touched me in my life those this is why i'm saying to you that whatever journey you take

it's gonna be hard it's gonna be really fucking hard when i write right hard on my pad i write it with three fucking exclamation points four it's gonna be very hard but you're gonna every once in a while you catch a break whether you're a carpenter you know you're a carpenter and you start your own business and for the first six jobs you break even and your wife is breaking your balls and then one day you figure something out on time or energy or money and now you're in the profit now you know see it there's a fucking curve it's a big curve to figure out what you want to do there's a big that's a big curve that's a big curve for anybody i knock on i knock on wood every day and get on my knees and i'm thankfully grateful that at the age of 30 you know at the

age of 28 i had the knowledge to get on stage or the the what did you call it hootspot yeah i had the hootspot to get on stage but then at the age of 31 i committed to it you think about it at 31 to tell yourself you're going to be broke for 10 years that's where i am right you tell yourself that you look yourself in the mirror and go you know what i'm gonna start playing the organ with a monkey but i'm not gonna make money for five years and but if i do make money you ever go to a service department and drop your car off and they tell you cars not gonna be ready to five and then you get a call at 11 o'clock i'm gonna tell you cars ready like god damn it i wouldn't rent in a car i'm on the other side of the town they tell you the worst

prognosis so if they do beat it they look like heroes right you know what i'm saying if you come to me today and go i got a lump on my head what do i got left i can't tell i don't know i'm not a fortune tell i'm not god let's put six months on your head for six months you'll be eating pussy stabbing people telling discover to suck your dick all of a sudden here you are a year later you're still alive yeah but and i think also so like yeah like maybe 10 years you're not gonna make money you're five you're making a little bit of money now instead of working for free you're making by year six i was making six to eight thousand a year by my calculations that's a year i did taxes in 97 i actually did taxes like i filled out the paperwork i i got all the w2s right and i

think i made eight thousand dollars for the year now but you're also talking about four thousand dollars and fifties and 25s and 35 dollars from doing bar shows so i'm most so don't get me wrong yeah i was making a thousand a month paying 400 rent i had no car payment i had child support with 365 clothes and food if i got a score and i already had you know like i said i always knew i would make a thousand to 1200 a month god forbid somebody called me out of the blue and said i got a gig for friday and saturday opening for me for a hundred a night oh that means i went to mexican dinner right i jumped up and down and it's interesting you're talking about it because i had an issue not an issue i went down to san diego four weeks no row and i had people offer me places to stay

like you're saying people are very generous it makes me uncomfortable to stay at people's places i've never liked that and i i know you talked about because your mom passed away you did to see the highs and the lows did it take you a while to get used to sleeping on floors to sleeping on people's couches before you make the next step into your journey li you got to reprogram your mind i know it's hard and get ready to eat shit and to do what you need to do if not quit this get out of this because it's not going to be an easy journey for you right it's not an easy journey for anybody somebody offers you a space to you're trying to get into a community yeah you're trying to get into a community you're trying to find especially a comic at your level

whether you're a plumber that's you know when you're an apprentice union plumber right let's say you're working on a big fucking job and there's 15 fucking apprentices where do you go after work a bar a bar and you become bonds with other guys and you talk to other guys and these guys aren't the plumbers these guys are the same guys that are doing your job they know what it is to get rained on they know what it is to the pipes to hit them they know what it is to unload a truck they know how it is to do all this shit those are the people you got to be around not the plumbers the plumbers ain't gonna help you all right the plumbers ain't gonna they're just gonna call you a dummy like what are you doing the fuck out of here go go help him it's the same thing with

comedy it's the same thing in any journey they're opening your house to you so you become a part of something so in the morning you wake up at 12 and you go eat Mexican food then you go see the Joker and they introduce you to two other comics that both have other rooms in El Centro or one on the border of Mexico or one on the border of fucking Yuma you know this is what this is called it's called opening up doors you're opening up doors you cannot feel weird when somebody offers you a place to live because I tell you what the next five years you're not gonna make any money right I drove back and forth yeah you're not gonna make any money you lost 30 on the weekend for gas yeah you're not gonna make any money so when you start working helium they don't put

you in a hotel room right so Pat House a local comic you're gonna stay at his fucking on his floor and watch TV and guess what when Pat House comes out here to stay for a couple days he has to stay at your couch and those are the relationships I don't care what you like like I told you the other night the other night I had my red sweatshirt on I did not want to go to the store but it doesn't matter what I like or what I need or what I want doesn't matter it's what needs to be done what I want what I want is to sit here and have somebody suck my dick while somebody cuts my fungi toenail while somebody fucking feeds me reefer and somebody brings me shrimp bag full young that's what I want that's the ideal right but that's not gonna happen that's not gonna happen

so I gotta do what needs to be done what you like when you become a comic or when you commit to any career what you like or what you're used to it's not gonna work it's not gonna work you have to change for it that's part of the process that's part of the love that you have for this but for you to go to San Diego and drive back and forth for zero dollar I gotta ask you to go outside and bang the hell in the wall three times and come back in I understand doing it one night or you could have spent the day down there gone on the beach take your shirt off go to a coffee shop write jokes that's all your job is right now is to write joke that's the only job you got come here twice a day twice a week and write jokes okay it doesn't matter where you write it

take that computer and have that pen and pencil with you get a chicken with a feather in case you gotta draw blood from it to write and that's all you need to do there's nowhere and that and that's what I understood see at that age I was raised in Jersey and I was raised by different dynamics I was raised when people pull you aside and said this is how it's done and this is how it's gonna be done from now on this is how it's gonna be done from now on why because I'm a fucking idiot and this guy knows more than me because I gotta assume I'm a fucking moron because if I was and I'd be doing what he's doing and I'm not so obviously that's how I was raised when people come over to you the fun and games is over this is what needs to be done the first time you don't do it you're

getting smacked in the mouth you'll do it you'll do it quickly you'll adjust if he tells you to be that nine you'll be there a 10 to nine with a fucking flag marching that's how life is it's not what you want to do it's what needs to be done I didn't want to fucking get into comedy and star for 10 years but it's what it needed to be done you know people still when we when we say it now it's well known you get $15 for your spots at the comedy store half the people at home listening to this right now are going why do you go down there half of the people who have a mind right now they're listening to this podcast half ears that have a fucking head on your shoulders that have good loving growing up and pet at your dog and your parents took down vacations

you're like joey you're 56 years old and you're doing spots of $15 shame on you it's not about the $15 I wish it was like I always tell my agents when they call me and they try to greed me and whore me out I tell them right out if I wanted to make money I would have gone into the coke business and succeeded but I didn't I was a failure so I got into this so this is my fucking future when you love something nothing could stop you can you imagine your wife your girlfriend you haven't seen her for a month she calls you up one night at two in the morning and tells you pussy's on fire and it's an hour drive how many of us would make the drive come on let's all not raise our hands at once because we've all done it ladies we've all been there how come it's easy

to get in the car and drive 40 minutes to get a piece of ass but not to the thing that you love the most we all love pussy and we all love cock right ladies right some guy calls you at one o'clock come over he's good looking you fucking fly over there you don't fly that fucking fast when it's your job right you don't fly that fucking fast when you know think about these things these are things they gotta think about money is not the answer to your happiness money is not the answer to your life trust me on something the money will come fall in love with something first do you hear what I was honey said really really fall in love with something something first we had a guy in here that when you look at his celebrity net worth he was down a hundred

million dollars he went to prison and he's here to educate you and tell you that greed is not good passion is good you know when splice me when I go on twitter I see jenica jones at a fair on a fucking sunday you think jenica jones wants to be on a fucking fair on a fucking sunday no but she loves people buying her art and she loves people coming up to her and saying that's a nice piece even if they don't buy the human interaction you have to love all this you have to love it and then after you fall completely in love with it then you'll figure out the plan how the money will come in that's the plan that's the plan money is fucking no good to think about passion I want you to love something I want you to go joey jesus I can't wait to go to the beach to

make a fucking ice castle but there's no money in it man right your mother your grandmother your father there's no money in ice castles what if one day you become the best ice castle in the world and every time jaycee throws a party you shave the ice room for 22 million dollars what if I don't know that I don't know the future fall in love with something first and then the geese will come later when I don't know I don't know but if you deeply love it if you deeply love something fucking helping people you know I got a friend right now I talked to a lot she just got a job in a rehab I think she's fucking retarded okay you know me though I'm like you're gonna sit there and listen to lies from people for no money she was a junkie and now her passion she stayed clean

for 15 years and now her passion is to lead others she's making 400 a week and she has to work 60 hours a week she just got herself an apartment in van eyes she drives all the way downtown every day she gets there an hour early you know when I talk to those people they fucking inspire the fuck out of me it makes me remember why I love this you know vinyana at at at subconscious you sit down with vinyan you talk to vinyan about jujitsu and you ask him what he really wants to do and he'll look in the face and go I love everything about and you can tell when he's teaching jujitsu he loves everything about it you know how much money there is in making teaching jujitsu as much as fucking sucking cock backwards okay there's that much money in teaching jujitsu

but let me tell you something if you really love it you'll become a fucking million hat i.e john juke machado i.e eagan machado i.e cabrinha i.e fucking uh aberto crane these guys love what the fuck they do go look at their schools eddy bravo eddy bravo i.e eddy bravo i.e eddy bravo go ahead sit with eddy and take away the fucking cosmonauts and the dead president and see which the beat he throws on you about leg locks and the motherfucker knows what he's talking about and he doesn't miss a clue you know that motherfucker every night calls me at 10 after 8 and he's headed downtown to fucking teach monday through fucking Thursday when i knew eddy eddy was living in a shack on fucking Santa Monica next to another fucking animal they had a shack down

there shack there was rabies on the wall you think eddy gave a fuck yeah he started with a little gym called the whatever the fuck it was bomb squad bomb squad over on Santa Monica i would go over there cross the street from the whole foods whatever it is now now it's something completely different that sent that that supermarket that's what i saw from the godfather who said let them lose their souls they're all animals anyway the guy that said that lying to godfather i seen him at that supermarket eddy started that bomb squad you think he was making a million dollars at bomb squad a year no eddy busted his balls ever since he he he took something he took a win over a champion and turned it into something that now it's international

does he have like 100 schools 100 schools something he was in love with that for years he starved he lived in the back of a fucking shed look at him now so you think i'm fucking lying to the proof isn't the pudding don't forget this Thursday this Friday night i will be at the uptown theater in Kansas City Missouri ready to fucking rock and Saturday we add the show at the paramount theater 9 30 you're out by fucking 11 o'clock you can still smoke dope till six in the morning or whatever the fuck it is you like to do or whatnot you understand me you know how we do it i'm looking forward to Kansas City last time i went down there do comedy i was at the uh funny bone i think it's a funny bone no no no i think it's an improv and i had a great time

i think i'm gonna go see uh whatever it's kickboxing school on Friday i think i'm getting in early enough hopefully that i could go to kickboxing class so i'm like i'm looking forward to some barbecue i already know where i'm going i already got the hotel i'm ready to fucking go but before you go anywhere this podcast is brought to you by my bookie dot ag the church of what's happening now is brought to you by my bookie dot ag let me ask you something you're asking me joey why do i go to my bookie it's fast it's easy and they pay when you win they revamp their fucking website it looks fucking phenomenal you could do prop bets side bets whatever bet listen they got they got a contest they were running five teams you beat the spread you rack up points a hundred to

sign up a hundred thousand at the end of the season i'm sure they're gonna do something with with college football and the mba my bookie is the way to go but if you're trying to bet nfl baseball mma whatever my bookie's got it do the smart thing if you're gonna bet football bet with them if you're the kind of guy likes to bet a little one a lot try and parlay if all your picks come through you multiply your winnings and no matter how you bet the nfl season is the best time of the year why we're two weeks away from pro basketball we're two weeks away from fucking hockey i think i can start already what am i saying you know with college basketball is down the corner the holidays are coming we all need fucking geetus do me a favor go to my bookie

dot ag right now double your deposit today right now this monday use promo code church get a hundred percent bonus on your initial deposit are you fucking kidding me or what that means you lay down the nickel they put a nickel on top of that where you're gonna get that type of action from nobody uncle joey's bringing it to you so go to my bookie dot ag that's my bookie grab a fucking pen my b o o k i e dot ag and don't forget to use promo code church c h u r c h wing creating your account to claim the bonus listen with my bookie dot ag you play you win you get motherfucking paid and don't forget to check mad flavors world my instagram on thursday i'll be dropping a video with you motherfucker's uncle joey's my bookie picks

last time i had to lose i'm not a lot of you people just go to my bookie dot ag right now get the party started also a little i want to talk to you about dylan moskowitz is a real zippercruiter customer who used zippercruiter to hire for his company cafe altura the following is a testimonial script based on the employer's story you know cafe author or ceo dylan moskowitz needed to hire director of coffee for his organic coffee company but he was having trouble finding a qualified candidate what did he do he went to zippercruiter zippercruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you it finds them for you technology identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job so you get the qualified candidates fast dylan posted his job on zippercruiter

and he said he was impressed how quickly he had great candidates applied he also used a zippercruiter candidate rating feature to filter his applicants so he could focus on the most relevant ones and how's dylan found his new director of coffee yes he did in just a few days with results like that it's no wonder four out of five employers who post on zippercruiter get a quality candidate within the first day and you could take that to the bank now do me a favor go see why zippercruiter is effective for businesses of all sizes whether you got 10 employees or 200 employees you could try zippercruiter for free show you what the hell it's monday free go to zippercruiter.com slash church chur ch that's zippercruiter.com slash church chur ch and get the smartest way to hire

that's what zippercruiter has to offer it's the smartest way to hire they're going to save you time and energy and you're going to get the best candidate available to you i want to thank zippercruiter i want to thank my bookie but most importantly i want to thank you motherfucking savages for always having my back remember what i talked about today fall in love with something first in time you'll figure out how to make money with it i don't care if it's shining shoes i don't care if it's fucking putting yellow paint on people's assholes if you have passion eventually your dream will come true i love you motherfuckers with all my heart see your friday kansas city at the uptown or saturday night at the 930 show at the paramount theater in denver

a little tony benefit you cocksuckers kick this mule lee how is that i want to be around to pick up the pieces when somebody breaks your heart some somebody twice as smart as i i for somebody who will swear to be true as you used to do with me who'll leave you to learn that misery loves company wait and see i mean i want to be around to see how he does it when he breaks your heart to bits

let's see if the puzzle fits so fine and that's when i'll discover that revenge is sweet as i sit there applauding from a front row seat when somebody breaks your heart like you like you