Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #743 - Dan Soder

Episode Date: December 12, 2019

Dan Soder, a comedian, actor seen on "Billions," and heard as the co host of "The Bonfire" on Sirius XM, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. Dan's new HBO special, "Son of a Gary" came out this past weekend and is available now on HBO GO and HBO NOW. This podcast is brought to you by: MyBookie.ag -  Use code promo Church to get a 50% match on your first deposit up to $1,000.   Hellotushy.com - Go to Hellotushy.com/church for 10% off of your order of portable devices that spray your butt with water.   Stance Socks - Stance has all styles of socks in tons of amazing designs including MLB, Star Wars and Quentin Tarantino. Go to www.stance.com/church and you'll get a free pair of socks with any purchase. 

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I'm throwing little things at you that these gifts are tremendous. They're affordable And that people don't see him coming like the tushy. You're like Joey. What's a tushy? It's a portable bidet You install in 10 minutes by yourself tushy sprays water directly into that rotten fucking asshole yours and removes the poop completely So you're not sitting on fucking shit all day and bacteria that leads to nasty things like hammer-oids yeast infection UTI in the most common itchy asshole and skid marks. Do me a favor go to hello tushy dot com today Right now they started $79 and tushy's latest product the tushy adamant helps you get everything out But let's start right here. Go to hello tushy calm take a look at the selection of But days they have it's gonna blow your fucking mind. You see something you're like

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Oh Dan soda, what's the story dude? I think with the right music and you beside me in a car You could talk me in a robin a bank. Oh, please. This is if we had if we had the right playlist I love all this shit. You want to go get that like we're just this first federal is about to catch I got the voice. That's what I used to do before I did anything evil. Yeah, I'd get my car blast some fucking music Just get by it up. Yeah Sabbath bloody Sabbath. I want revenge I want blood I'd walk around and I'd crawl in through a window take your coke and leave spotify I should give playlists to incarcerated people just in what they hyped up on

Can you imagine seeing those things and you're like this got me to murder a family of four Fucking crazy yeah when Charles Manson killed you said Man, you could do a spotify playlist. What's happening, brother? Dude. Thanks for having me, man It's nice to finally I'm a fan. So it's nice. No, I'm a fan of yours. It's funny. You have a great resume You did the stand-ups on Netflix. Yeah, you've been with Comedy Central, but it's so weird When you got into comedy any time before 2000 your gold was ultimately HPL And then it just went away. Yeah, they started putting on George Klein and all these older comics that yeah

They're Interesting, but they really weren't relevant and nobody wanted to see him. Yeah, and I appreciate what HBO was doing But it wasn't getting nowhere. Netflix came along and stole the show. Yeah, HBO sat there with their dick in their hand They don't know what the fuck to do. You know, we all grew up on HBO. Yeah, absolutely HBO was the epitome. I did not want to be on Showtime. Okay. That was in the beginning HBO was the first yeah, HBO was the first draft and then somewhere along the line like in anything in life You know something new popped up hot, which we all appreciate Netflix is doing a great job. It's good for all I'm gonna go mean because of Netflix

But now HBO saying, you know what? I think we're gonna regain what was once ours now. Yeah, it's free game now I think we're gonna do something different with specials, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah So I congratulate you on that that you got to the top floor of The specials, I mean you did Comedy Central Netflix Yeah, getting the and I'm not putting Netflix down all comedy. No, I'm just saying that, you know central started in 91 When Comedy Central started, you know, one of the first show there's they had that was big was politically incorrect Yeah, which later moved on to ABC, which is now real time with Bill Marv. A lot of people don't know that Yeah, growing up Comedy Central

I think like I'm one of the first generation of kids that grew up with first cable But then you had Comedy Central 91 I was eight years old and I was able to watch a bunch of comedy that you know I would have never had access to before Comedy Central But HBO was still the thing where we got the free weekend You would try to tape whatever specials you could and watch it and I remember being a kid and seeing like those half-hours Like Chappelle's half-hour Patton Oswald's half-hour from the mid 90s and you'd see all those and be like man

This is the shit HBO is because you knew they were unedited Comedy Central was still cable So then even Chappelle's killing them softly and all those kind of specials, you know, both rocks Getting one was like, oh fuck. It was great. But there was like also like this Pressure, you know, was bigger and blacker HBO. Yeah, both because I'm bigger and blacker and bring the pain I could I never had HBO and HBO for me Was like a hotel on vacation. Yeah, it was like a big thing like oh snap We got HBO like they're swearing in these specials. Yeah, like it was a it was a big deal find out what year HBO Started it had to be

If I had to take a guess I say 73 74. Yeah My friend is talking about a movie called group tube. Yeah, okay And it was the either lead up to a film called Kentucky Fried chicken Kentucky Fried film or advice a versa 72 72 it was the whole cast of Saturday Night Live before Saturday Night Live. Yeah, we chase John Candy, see who the cast was of

The SNL on 72. No, that's good. Turkey Fried. Oh, I'm sorry group to group to if you look So this is basically like you're like seeing like a mixed tape of comedy. No, this was not stand-up Yeah, but I'm saying like of improv people that are going to go on to be SNL, right? This is this was yeah Reliantly done. Who was the cast Ken Shapiro? Richard Belzer who we just talked about chevy chase Buzzy Linhart who I've never heard of Richmond Bayer Berkeley Harris

All these names were gonna bow. No, but they were like improv people that were well-known and You know, it's just sketches like Kentucky Fried movie was a sketch. They were in a courtroom and Fucking all of a sudden the attorney takes opens a briefcase up and takes a dick out and puts on And he says saying we have another planet and all this shit when you're 12 and you stop what you want to see 18 kids Yeah, it's hysterical Yeah, another scene of three black guys playing dice and a white guy walks up puts a construction helmet on And he looks at all three guys and he goes niggers and he runs and they chase yeah, and then it shows

You know, but the moral of the story is Kentucky Fried movie 72 you said well HBO started in 74 74 So I was I was 11. I was correct and that's right on SNL started in 75. I was dying to see a tip. Oh, yeah Okay, so the word on the street was Had a scene where a guy chased a naked woman, but it was on HBO again. Nobody had HBO It's brand new so I still remember sitting my mom down Cuban mom Yeah, I'm like breaking it down for how I needed HBO school You know cuz they don't know they're watching tell a moon, right? You pushed a subscription to a pay channel for a titty

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's brilliant. Let me talk to you. What that's big thinking. It had to be like 1495 Yeah, I'm gonna do it on one condition. We split it. I was like fine So I had a there was a box you had to get boxes in those. Yeah It was a box with a switch and it was like one to 14 14 to 28 28 Yeah, and those are the channels. Yeah, and then there were porno channels Lee I'm like 56 But they were coming slanted. Yeah scrambling coming scrambled I remember you had a you had a scrambled a button and you'd catch like the pussy and you'd start jacking off Then it would go away. Yeah, just gonna get glimpses of it

I still remember putting my mother together. That's so HBO Her going out the groove to being on and me sitting there Undwear off ready to bang this motherfucker out to the fucking groove. What a space shuttle and it was just a scene Yeah, did you and there was no way like now there's DVR now you can rewind TV, but then you had to almost that's it It was it was timing. It was all time timing. There was no DVR. There was no VCR You couldn't see something and backtrack it. You couldn't see something and be like, let me go back You're like, I have to get ready to jerk off to this exact moment like woman in red Yeah, woman in red with the chick the hot chick. She was the one from weird science. Oh the one

Kelly LeBrock was awesome. Kelly LeBrock was pure heat. Yeah. Yeah science was a movie that could oh Weird science. She's beautiful the one she did when she married poor Steven. Yeah, yeah, Steven Seagal ruined her fucking career That he was she was fucking beautiful, but you I'm the generation of like the VHS's of those so you would get like the VHS of weird science and then jerk off to the Kelly LeBrock Coming out of the shower with her And then you just like all right and then eventually come and then Chet's on the screen and you're like Well me Kelly one time what's his name goes to ring her doorbell when she gets out of bed and she's naked Yeah, and for a split second you see a pussy. I still remember

1986 freezing that being so coked up Yeah, and just like trying to get a hot on and just Pussy like you didn't see the clear to nothing Yeah, a little black bush ahead of her getting out of the window Getting out of bed and looking at the window and then they don't show it again I think the first one for me was maybe Titanic with the boob. That was the first city. I think so. I don't know That's the first one. I can remember being like, oh my god The first kid I saw was when I went to see the godfather. Okay, she takes the shirt off. Yeah, I'm a honeymoon

Like when I had almost exploded like I was ten. I was like, all right now. I know why my mom hides those bras I didn't know what a bra was for. Yeah, you didn't realize you could seal something great and she didn't have good apollonia Yeah, did not apollonia was hot though. She was beautiful Tuesday She had like she already had a kid titties, yeah She already had like two Mexican kids Nipples look to the IO day a orders. She's on the comeback tour for titties on the comeback tour So like that was that was I just wanted to talk about HBO like yeah, Schwartz and then my mother kept it

just for the rest kept it and You know, you just started watching stuff How you got carlin a bunch of carlin? Yeah, I'm carlin like he did like 10 at HBO. Yeah, he did something crazy And that's yeah And then they I then I lost you know, I lost kind of my mom died and then H Then we got HBO get me and my buddy in high school Chip didn't got HBO. Yeah for 200 bucks You get somebody to connect the pole and he'd give you everything so they do live next door to me

Yeah, and he was selling boxes 250 lifetime subscription. I was just rated X porn from China midget porn Rape that happened on the street that people caught would fuck it. You know, they had everything on that Like, you know Yeah, you get weird shit 200 bucks one-time payment. Yeah, then after about six months They put a trap on your box Then you would call him and he'd take the trap off and I still remember the best month. It's weird It's all I saw Mike bind the last night at the store. Yeah, man He's awesome Mike binders the man Mike binders the man and he had a movie called Hollywood nights in 1981

Yeah, and it was the this is HBO only had yeah, it's so weird how I put on TV now and HBO has HBO 9 Yeah, you know, yeah, Latino Comedy HBO regular comedy HBO are you crane? Hb1 2 3 HBO Trump East and West. Yeah, East and West only audio when I was growing up It was fucking HBO and they had eight movies. I'm hoping they put mine on the original Yeah, and they had eight movies. That's it and every night for a month. They played those same movies only a different order So me and my buddy had a past we would come home at 12 Walk the path mark shoplift ice cream like we don't we yeah dollars. I got four dollars

What are we essential will shop will lift the rest? Yeah So we would like shoplift like salami and shit like that, but we'd buy ice cream and eggs And we go home and make like protein shakes and salami sandwiches on white bread and we'd watch the raging bull Hollywood nights and thief with James Conn okay every night So you just turn it on and you get guaranteed one of what one of those movies is gonna be on Behind it was gonna be thief. Okay behind that was gonna be Hollywood nights. Yeah, it was like three and order So if you get thief you're like I got a raging bull next Hopefully then HBO got dark for a while. Yeah, but they started showing a lot of pussy that a show

Are you talking about retro diaries that retro diaries that the hitchhiker the hitchhiker I don't remember the hitchhiker hitchhiker was this lonely dude that walked on the road like He was just a dirty white dude that walked around in the hot white women would fuck them all over and it was like titties Yeah, but they wouldn't show penetration. Yeah, but good. It's a lot of a him holding her Yeah, lower back. Yeah, he would fuck her in a car Yeah, or in a tent outside They would do something along the road and then she would leave him and then he would walk in the following episode Someone else to just dick it from town to town that would come on like a 1230

Fridays and then they had tails from the crypt loved it loved it tails from something of some little midget Yeah, they're just talking all that shit Yeah, I loved it. That was like I was kind of the age where I Hit puberty right as HBO went titty heavy like with like dream on which was like a comedy show But they would always show titties you just knew at one point in the episode You're like, I'm gonna see titties and I was at that age kind of like you were at where you you're like timing it out We're like, all right dream dream on's on let's get ready and then the titty and you're like go But then we had tapes of like cinemax movies because cinemax came along and was like we know what you guys want

Just a little bit of story and a lot of soft core max is disgusting. Yeah. Well, they just came along like here's this Here's a soft core porn Which was the best. Yeah, they started like a 10 30 Yeah, you were just like cuz you knew that cuz my friend Mitch had the box had the the black box and unscramble everything So you get the spice channel, but it was at my friend's house and that you don't want to just like watching porn like seven other 12 year old dudes in the room. You're like, all right, I gotta get at it. Everyone would leave I want to just get eventually back. I get the fuck out of here So I wanted to go home and jerk off because you're like watching porn and now kids just it's just on their phones

They're just like, oh, like just look at porn. You had to like find it like a truffle pig Yeah, like dig for it and I'm wailed at all you yeah, you came up I still remember when you had to send the money order For 1995 for four porno's and a projector and a projector and add post would you have to intercept it? You'd have to take it to somebody's house whose parents worked all day So the box would land there and so you'd have to sit down watch the mailman come and once he put that That's right word got out and porno's were not produced Yeah camera with some broken-down woman who they dragged into a room. It was just horrible porno from the 70s

Was really the me too. Yeah, that's when we said what the fuck is going on Yeah, you know women getting dragged by the hair into a room yelling in three Puerto Ricans fucking It was just it was porno that scared you. Yeah, you are Like I'm enough a shookey. I remember being in a room and when the kid when I did a stress factory Yeah, he showed up and he sat in the front row and I go ladies and gentlemen If you've got a question about any of my stories now is the time to ask him Yeah, and I just started unloading on what him and I saw as a child Jesus and I even did it in Miami this week because there was a kid who lived across the street from me

It wasn't there. Well, that's yeah, but I still remember ordering that porn Getting the box and six of us chipped in five of us Chipped in like four dollars a piece And we thought dude that was someone's like someone. It was an investment We're waiting, you know every day that you get the package. Yeah, Lee did you go by there? I was there all day the mailman didn't come well, it's sick because it would say six to eight weeks So with someone market in a calendar you to like put it in yeah Like we melt on the 13th. There's like a countdown. So was we had a countdown going so once the six weeks came

We were ready to blow No, did you just did you just eventually start jerking off to the idea of the package getting there just getting Got it the party was in my attic. Oh, we put fucking a sheet up on the wall. Yeah sandwiches We fucking covered the window with aluminum foil like a crack We put that point on and we were traumatized I'm like traumatized to the point that I'm not a hooker guy Yeah, or a strip club guy or anything from what I saw so if we had a reaction I'm telling you the truth. This is not a joke. Yeah, I think back. You look at my purse now. I'm a wild man

Yes, I love pussy and I love everything but Lee Eight years. Well, we went to a strip club. He has never yeah, just cuz of that video Just that video just gave me like I don't even watch porn when people send me shit Yeah, you know if somebody says to me this girl was at the store. Yeah, I'll look up her name If if I meet a porn chick, yeah, and she tells me her name I'll look her up or something but besides that I don't look up or anything about it I know there's porn hub and you porn and it was it was it cuz of that like after that video even as a kid

Did you were you just like I don't I was very Catholic. Yeah. Yeah, you know, I was raised by a single mom. Yeah was She spoke sexual, but I didn't like it. Yeah, and then seeing that Fucked me up. How old were you when you saw it? I probably I gotta say 13. Okay, and we had an 11 year old in the room and he just started crying Yeah, like you just thought he just broke down. I mean that shows you were real like today He's got six kids. So I don't I don't know if it's because of that porn or whatever snapped him in the line I just snapped you guys scared straight with the first. I mean your first porn thing. Here's the thing even when it's not a Terrible situation even when it's a good like I saw probably like a late 80s

Early 90s porn for my first porn. It was still the first hardcore porn. You see it I was maybe around the same age 13 14 years old and you're like, oh, oh Fuck what the fuck cuz it's so Graphic and more hardcore, but then like to make it worse like you see that could Snap you shut somebody approached me this week a publicist And they wrote me this loan though and about a client they have He wants to come on the podcast and talk about You know porn addiction in this country and I looked at it and I'm like, you know, and how it ties in with human trafficking

You know, I would have had him if he would have cut it short at the porn addiction Yeah, because I look to learn about that stuff But I don't want to hear about human trafficking on the show that takes the show somewhere else Yeah, you know, I like this show because from time to time even if we get serious We do crack a few jokes in between. There's no, you know Talking to a guy about human trafficking. Yeah, you try to crack a joke. I don't talk about human traffic Yeah, you know every day we drive here in North Hollywood. You see all these massage parlors And I can't even think like I go to one massage parlor, but I take my wife there

Yeah, I took leave there. Yeah, it's called Ching boom or something like that and they do foot rubs. It's all guys One chick. It's legit But all those other ones on Lancashire They're all tug-and-hugs whatever and if you ever go in there like one Christmas my back hurt and Everyone I went into like I walked in I was like, you know what? Let me make an appointment Because I could tell yeah, just the look they had and the woman looked broken You could tell that human traffic so you could tell by walking in the door They would look at you and just be like, okay, we go like I gotta fuck this guy for freedom

Like oh my god, I'll do I'll jump off a fucking bridge Fuck this guy and it was funny because I watched this documentary and it's the biggest Concentration of money Houston. Mm-hmm. Really and I've had friends go to Houston and say oh my god We went to a massage parlor. She looked like Lucy Lou She wanted 300 and she let you fuck her in the end You know just crazy. She don't yeah, there's some comics. We were fucking savages Yeah, you find out some guys and you're like man, you should have been in the 15th century Oh, yeah, there's some comics. They're just that's that's it. Listen. There's some comics. We

I was always drawn to the drug part of it. Okay. Second was sex, you know, the crazy I was an alcohol first the bump that you bump into on the road for some guys. I know Three comics who blew their lives over their sex addiction But I would never say nothing to I've never said it to them But I'd know that their sex addiction. Yeah Cost in their comedy career the same way a drug problem alcohol or drug problem Because I think about that because I stopped drinking six years ago and you think like I have a friend who over eats You know what I mean? It's like 500 pounds and and I think about that. I'm like, man

I hope that what a hard thing to stop because the thing that's you got to stop the thing that you have to do I don't have to ever drink alcohol like sex. You're a sex addict. You want to have sex again with your wife So it's weird, you know, it'd be like if if I had to drink a beer every day And they'd be like don't be an alcoholic. That's a weird addiction to think and I feel like I'm lucky that I don't have it I was gonna say like it. I'm sure I don't want to I'm sure it's hard. There's parts to it But sex addiction seems like they eat the best like it doesn't seem like it's that bad I think it could fucking destroy your life destroy how you know how because I have a dear friend That I got to meet out here. Yeah, and after four years. I asked her

Why don't you have a boyfriend? Yeah, you know, she became friends with my wife There's no other than Holly, but she moved back to New York. Yeah, and she just told me this Sex addict thing and we smoked joints and yeah one day. I just said break it down for me and it was Just And it was something with her father the okay, you know, but I don't think I don't think anyone's born as sex addict I don't think anyone just comes out like You know what I mean like an unscathed childhood and there's like I'm a I don't I feel like it always is Addictions always come from like a fucking rough landing as a child

Absolutely, I think I think as a kid with it's like a response to a fucking fall and I think it runs in something. I think Like for me listen, I've been addicted to something Since I could remember. Yeah, you know, let's start with my pacifier addiction. Yeah Sucking your thumb I gave a pacifier when I was six, okay And I still remember how I used them. I used them like people smoke cigarettes Were you'd stress out so I'd play with you? Yeah, and then let's say I lost the game I go I'd be right back and I'd go in a corner and suck three times then come back and keep playing Monopolis Look, I thought about that. I thought about that not as just a pack of pacifiers

I had them everywhere All over the fucking apartment 80 to 90 of them and my mother had these Japanese dolls nice to play ball in the house And she was listen one day. You're gonna break one of those dolls first. I'm gonna break your head Yeah, who you're gonna pay me the 300 dollars those dolls. I kept playing with this balding number two Yeah, you know, they're a little hard of a yeah And I broke the fucking doll and she goes either have to pay me the 300 or you give up your addiction to pacifiers I knew I wasn't giving that bitch 300 dollars. She's had to kill me to get the change. I had saved up from the bar I had exactly like three ten

I'm not blowing that fucking doll Yeah, and I still remember her and I walking around the house and me going and and she had a garbage bag And me throwing, you know, I had him hiding in the pillows I had one like crazy. Did you have like did you have like a like a period of withdrawal? Like did you have to leave you in a room or you're just I don't remember like I looked at my daughter when my daughter had it Yeah, binky thing It was over with her with three and that was enough And I still remember her asking for it a couple times

Yeah, and then me coming back from the road and my wife going don't even bring it up Yeah, that was it. I just moved on but I guarantee that that addiction turned into then I became a karate kid Okay, and I was addicted with that. Yeah, that's why then Bruce Lee came and drove me over and then from that I probably got hooked on flucking ice cream. Yeah, I don't know. I eat pizza every day like yeah make them Everything I do. I'm a creature of habit. Yeah, you know, I was thinking last night somebody wants to kill me All they gotta do is go to the store on a Tuesday night. I'm at the school right every Tuesday night It's gonna be right. I'm at the store every Tuesday. Yeah, you know Rain snow shine, I feel bad Christmas Eve is on Tuesday, and I'm like, what do I do like what I gotta go to the store

Yeah, I want to think about that when you have like habits like that or like kind of like OCD Compulsions like that when it's something like a holiday and you're like no But I do just think on this day and then we're like you gotta eat turkey to family When you do listen for you to get the HBO. Yeah, you had to have some type of OCD Something to sit down and make you right this shit you have to have OCD to do it We do over and over and over what's weird and repetitive and the same thought I feel I feel weird when I come off the road because you go you get so used to going Thursday It's a Saturday back on Sunday, you know, New York Monday Tuesday Wednesday back on the road on Thursday back home

Sunday, and you start doing that in the past month. I stopped after I filmed the special I was like, all right. I'm just gonna stay in the city to spots and I started to feel like Look, it's itchy itchy is the best word where I was just kind of like what the fuck and I was getting bothered easy And he's like, oh, yeah, we're creatures to have it. You have to go back to doing that And that's why I like stand up because I can go do the same thing I can go to the cellar Tuesday night after the ball You know what I mean? I need two weeks a month. Yeah on the road. That's what I do. I need it. Yeah, not financially You just need to do it. I need To do it. Yeah, I need it for my sanity. I've trained my family on it already. That's the best my wife loves it

Yeah, you know, yeah, my daughter loves it Yeah, you know the weeks I go on the road her and I spend that who likes your time Sure, you know, it's something you know, I was thinking about last night that I'm making it easier for my daughter understand Hopefully she marries a guy that travels and it's gonna be like fine Yeah, you know because I was the blueprint of her growing up and she's comfortable with it I travel six days and I tell I look at her face. It's five fucking days. Yeah. Yeah, but I miss you It's my fucking days and we keep the lights on. Yeah Okay, yeah, I mean I

Need the road or so I could tell I could tell when I'm home for a while and you get to the road is What's weird is you start becoming more of yourself on the road than at home, you know You get there's like a party you that's like That's truly you by yourself and you're just in this like now It's nice to travel with features have you know friend with you sometimes and that makes it easier But then when you're just like in Buffalo at helium for five shows and you're like, yeah This is who I am when I'm in Austin at Cap City You know, I'm still that guy during the Saturday after press you become like that. That's just who you are as a person

So then when you don't go on the road, you're kind of like I kind of miss doing stuff like that it's crazy how you evolve on the road also because 28 years, let's say safely correctly I've been going on the road like an animal for 20 conservatively, can I ask you as someone that's can't just started on the road and only gone on the road with the internet What was that like before when you're on the road and there's no fucking internet or you didn't have movie channels This is what I'm gonna tell you. Yeah, it's so weird like Okay, right now Lee's been doing it two years and about two years

He's gonna start getting calls to do one nighters and whatnot Yeah, and at first the road is you you drop your bags. You want to Cleveland? You go to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and you go here. You go there. You you have an idea You know, you're a feature actor, so you're not gonna go to the best restaurant in town Sure, but you're gonna find affordable and you go out and you do things and you connect with people now Every time you go to that club as a feature act, which you're gonna go to six times Yeah, you know, you're gonna go there six times before you if you're lucky you're getting that work like that twice a year That's twice a year three years. You're gonna go there as a feature

It's clubs you can get like three and if they're in rice and that they really like you know go stay next week Yeah, you know so assuming that you become friends with the bartender now. I'll tell you hey flying Tuesday and there's a room on Al from me that pays 200 and now you start to meet people But then the road then you get married You know for you you were drinking. Yeah, she is yeah, and one day you said You got to stop because this isn't working on the road. Oh, man. I was the road is a license To go. Yeah when you and that's why I tell people the road for me when I fucking got in that car June 25th 1995 in Boulder and I headed out to Ogden, Utah

That's open for triple, you know do a triple run. Yeah, I my mentality changed you become a savage Yeah, you become Tom Berrigan major league. Yeah, I come up in the big Taylor Yeah, the Mexican on top of him. Yeah chicken in the room. Now you can least say from the Yankees Yeah, yeah, that's what you become on the road. Yeah, you all you do is party right and perform Yeah, party right and perform and somewhere and the way to Tuscaloosa you stop and do laundry And you bump into a fat black chick who fucking a cook for you and then you go back Yeah, you know and that's part of the adventure sure and then you get then you stop doing drugs and drinking Yeah, now the road becomes something different to you now. You're starting to get special. So yeah, you're dedicating writing

You know you want to get healthy. So now the road becomes a gym also. Yeah now You actually look at gyms go to restaurants go to a different right you want to get like actual restaurants like the local flag Yeah, you don't want to go to Morton's in New York. Do you want to go to the local flag? Yeah, let's go up to our off the Avenue in the Bronx This is spaghetti and fucking meatballs, you know, and then for me now the road is a is an escape You know when I'm home. I have a child. I have wife Podcast, you know, it's constant when I'm on the road. It's over. Yeah, it's about my Netflix. Yeah, my notebook and What I could walk to to eat

That's that's where I was When you tell me the best kind of like that right now I walked to where I eat a lot of the best restaurant is Chuchu's Yeah, I look it and I look at Twitter. I look at Uber if it's more than a 10 spot. I Don't need to go. You're not I live in LA. I don't want to be another car Yeah, I want to walk breathe get some vitamin D. Yeah, cuz I'm gonna be in my hotel room See, I look at I always look for the restaurants that are in between the club in the hotel If you find something and you're like, all right, that's on the way so I can get it or take it back For some reason there was a couple months where I just wanted to get food and go back to my hotel

I'm like you want to go back to your cage early Like I don't like food in my room, you know, no, so I usually like when I go so you go out to eat You go to Nyak. Yeah, you go to Nyak, right? Yeah, they got great food and fucking Yeah, I got a Chinese restaurant that delivers. Okay, and they got a fucking Italian restaurant that delivers. Yeah We did the show Thursday night Friday me and Matt Fultron. We just got fucking a bag of Italian food Bucks spaghetti and clam sauce. Yeah, Shadda

Fucking pizza the full gun and that was all there for the day. We just he took three slices I took three slices and then Saturday. It was Chinese, you know But we eat it downstairs and the breakfast area. Yeah, so we'll sit there watching like whatever's on TV Oh, so you go to the lobby and eat. Fuck yeah when I bring food back. Yeah a lobby and eat You know what? That's a good point cuz I always know I don't food in my room The messiest food is when you bring it back and then you get like a you get like a quarter of a to-go thing That'll open up and that's on the desk. Every no every bedspread is white. Yeah Fucking room once in San Diego

10 11 12 years ago And I brought a pot cookie with me and it was a baggy. Yeah, I put the pot cookie in the shelf And the next morning I woke up and this was a fucking Hilton This is like a Hilton guy. This is like a whole town. That's like white people You know the mouse ate The tail end of the cookie the baggy. He ate through the baggy. So it was like a cookie guys He didn't eat much. I'm not gonna lie to you and say he ate all good. He ate like maybe

This much of the cookie, but can you imagine a mouse? Oh my god. He's that's why he had a stop He's eating. He's thinking he's getting off. He's at the bakery. Yeah, and all of a sudden his diabetes hit him Motherfucker went under the sink and died that motherfucker. He got through he was fighting through that bag Knowing what was on the other side. He's like a whole cook He's probably thinking of the cookie was gonna give to his family how he was generations And then he was eating it. He's like this. What the fuck just putting them sideways. Fuck that little mouse up That motherfucker that's what you got to do instead of traps just leave joey Diaz weed cookies You sent the postcard to one of his cousins on the train

You know those trains on the a train where you're waiting for the mouse. Yeah, that for the train Yeah, see something go by you're like I gotta stop a smoker. Yeah, that mouse got into jazz And then you started walking look at the fucking train tracks and you start to see him in New York See, yeah, you're like, okay. I'm not fucking seeing things. Yeah, they the tracks in New York It's actually the way I feel like if you live near a river you would watch a river run He's just watch like rats run down the subway tracks and it's like if you don't get skis that you just kind of like that Whatever they're down there. So the special came out last Saturday. Yeah. Yeah, so now totally streaming streaming on all the platforms How you feeling about it? Good man, but it's like that new like alright. Let's get back to work

It's a horrible feeling. I got horrible. It's it's it's two things. It's like Exciting because you feel like you have a whole field in front of you like just go run around But then you're kind of like man, I had some structured bits I had some bits that I really worked the fuck out How long did you take between you shut this special to prepare? I think we did the stand-ups on Netflix in March of 2017 and so From March 2017 to October of 2019 so about two and a half years You had plenty of time yeah, and I went to Edinburgh

Scotland worked on our hour Okay, good and just worked at some bitch Worked to you know wanted to get it as tight as I could and then film it and then it was just where'd you film it? Bowery ballroom. No shit. Yeah, I just feel great great. It was a it's a great rock venue But it's also just a good venue got about 400 people in there HBO shot a couple specials Just you they shot a they did like seven in 2019. I want to say about seven or eight specials So I'm the last one of the year But yeah, man, it's great. It's that's HBO. I got him do the 1983

special presentation intro where you see the dad turn in the TV and then they go up over the town and You know it comes out of the stars the I was like man if I could just get that on this special and they're like, yeah, we'll do it I was like fuck it. That's great. All right. Oh everything. Yeah, you just you just ask for shit No, we're your parents now. You said you grew up in Colorado. Yeah, I grew up in Aurora My mom is still out there. She's still living in Aurora and then my dad died when I was 14 So I was just oh, thanks. Yeah, it's just Just been there and my grandmother still lives out in San Francisco. So I spend

Those are the two places I go. I hate to ask you this. Where were you as we talked about before the podcast. I I Have a deep deep love for Colorado. Yeah, and I'm gonna tell you what happened and the people who are listening in Denver I just went to Denver and I did two shows at the Paramount and I went back to the room I cried a little bit that night. Yeah, because I've been to every state in the fucking Union, you know, Alaska Hawaii pretty much. I haven't done comedy in all of them but Colorado's a special place where it was

When I first stepped foot in Colorado in 1983 It was a magical kingdom, especially where I came from in New York City and New Jersey. Yeah, I'm from right over the tunnel Yes, you know, that's what I'm from. Yeah, and then New York City and listen Not to take anything away from New York City when New York City sneezes Everybody catches a cold. New York runs this bitch, but When I went to Colorado like I just It was something magical. Yeah, like what I was expecting and what I saw With two different things. Did you think it was just gonna be like a po-dunk?

Tiny cow town, I still remember being a 83 man, that's Colorado Denver's not big in anything. I still remember being a child and Them always going tonight on ABC, you know Whatever six o'clock central seven o'clock Pacific eight o'clock mountain time and mountain time always fucked with me So when somebody came up to me and they go listen, you're not doing too well here. I got a spot in basalt It's 45 minutes from Aspen, you know, we got a house there. You're more than welcome to come out and get your head together It was like wow But so I went, you know in those days you did not go online. Yeah went to the library

I was a bookie on 118th Street Okay, and I went to some New York library and I got an encyclopedia and looked up Colorado and I read all about it and I Was like, I guess I'll go out there. I I pictured little house on the prairie and yeah, I Remember waking up on I 70 and seeing all this Commerce and all this shit. Yeah, but we weren't headed there. We were headed to Basalt, yeah, so you go through Colorado you go through the through the foothills and all of a sudden you start to see this Georgetown you're going by Georgetown on I 70s and you start to see it, you know what went it went, you know Except for the mountains it looked like fucking Newark, you know downtown Denver

What the fuck, you know downtown was a hell hole when I moved to Colorado. Yeah, so we didn't stop in Denver We drove through Denver. I was like Not that bueno, but once we got on Denver and you start feeling those mountains Yeah, and I got to be honest with you and a lot of people you think I'm crazy You don't feel it because you grew up there. I didn't grow up there Yeah, the first time I was surrounded by mountains Something happens to you You know something happens to you the mountains really have an effect on you when I lived in Seattle

I would go to Bremerton and that's the deepest point In the United States, that's why they had launched submarines out there. I mean, okay And when you're there when you live close to the ocean and you live in a city like New York Then you move to Colorado There's some type of energy in those mountains and I felt it. I felt at peace For the first time I didn't have to do coke for the first time I slept. I So relax you I learned how to go fishing. Yeah, you know, yeah, man That's an old skin and mammoth, you know growing up there

I think you don't realize you do not realize because to you you from what you're from like You're from like a smaller Town, you know Denver is a small town and you're watching you know, there's I was growing up with cable So you were you're watching shows based in New York and shitting and Denver was a small town Then you would go to the mountains to do things with your parents But that was kind of like you were going along because they wanted to do something and for you You're like this sucks. I'd rather be at home with my friends running around doing that stuff So I never really appreciated the mountains until I left Colorado and came back and then I was like holy shit

But also in a weird way, that's also why I think I appreciate New York so much It's because I grew up in a place like Denver where there is a it's a lower Pace it's a slower pace kind of everyone there is that there's room out there And then I moved to New York and I just liked that everything was there and you could get to work And it was like if you wanted to work you could go so I think You know having that opposite either growing up in a different place like New York and Denver and then having it as an adult You can appreciate both because I don't think there's a better place I could have grown up then Denver caught then Aurora

Suburbs of a nice, you know, I can be beautiful. It's sunny. It's so sunny all the time white people Lady Yeah, you gotta remember I moved to fucking basalt. Yeah Yeah And the first thing we did the dinner the first night was go to a place where they gave you a fishing pole I'm a New York City kid. I handled guns. I threw rocks at people. You gotta descale a fish These people give you a fishing pole for 10 bucks. You throw it in the roaring fork. You catch a trout They take it they skin it they cook it and then they give you potato salad two pieces of bread and a beer

That was my first experience. I was like, what the fuck. Yeah, that is This shit and everybody's talking to people and I still talk to people. Yeah, somebody put it up on Twitter I still remember hitchhiking. Yeah, like the big thing in basalt was they had a hitching post So you can hitchhike and people would actually pull up and go. I'm not going up that far today I'm so sorry. Good morning, though. And I go fuck you Cuz I'm from New York. You don't tell me good morning I still remember going home the first day I applied for jobs and I still my my buddy's like so how to go there. I'm like, I'm out of here

They're the fucking faggots. They tell you good morning. How are you? They ask you how you doing? They talk to you I came from When you were raised to look straight, you don't look down. You don't make eye contact Only I swear to God. I'm still in the hitchhiking and a lady pulling up and going. Good morning I would I would give you a ride, but I can't I'm only going up the old snowmass. Let me go on What the fuck is wrong? Get the fuck out of your mind that someone my mind was that nice It almost feels um, did it feel like in intrusive? Like something I never it took me a month to get used to and then I was all in

But what happened when you went back east after getting used to the Colorado conversation? It took me about eight months. I stayed and I really enjoyed it. I learned how to ski by myself On Christmas Day 83. I was all in but I brought luggage with me. I brought my thievery luggage with me Snowmass villages the size of fucking three blocks. Yeah, and I started robbing jewelry stores and burglarized them all Christmas Eve So I had backed myself out of position So I left then I came back a year and a half later moved back up there like nothing had happened Again, I left in disgrace. I ended up getting arrested in Boulder now when I moved to Aspen I went to Boulder and

I was in Boulder five minutes before I told I looked at my buddies and I go Get the fucking car Why would you bring me to this filthy hippie? Stinky sand or wearing fucking place You're just up on the hill watching all those how do you mean I didn't go to the hill yet? I was down on Pearl Street mall. Yeah, and I go get me the fuck out of here people playing the guitar with dogs And shit Out of there, and I never went back to ball is super fucking Colorado. I'm not going back to Boulder

Stokey animals white I'm never going back to Farrell white everybody had sandals on Fuck that and I went to New York got a beating in New York ended up homeless the whole thing Okay, I'm playing right back to Colorado. I said I'm moving to Colorado Springs And I bumped into a black guy on the flight and he goes man, you don't want to move to know Colorado Springs That's an army town. Yep. You're for how do you want 21? You want some pussy? You got to move to Boulder. Yeah, so I landed got a hotel room took a bus to Boulder the next day And I moved to 10 12

14th Street right on the fucking hill around the corner from fucking The downtown club 18 16 and over. Yeah, where Knavis McGee punched a guy in the eye and it knocked his eyeball out and shit Tremendous this was that's fucking awesome from Abo's pizza. I could throw a rock at the University of Colorado Yeah, I'm 10 12 14 Street You did I know exactly where that is my all my friends older brothers and sisters went to Boulder So when I was in high school, you'd go up and go to those house parties You know and you just like Halloween the Halloween house parties if you're a high school kid in Aurora And you one of your friends older brothers went to Colorado

You like I'll just go up there and drink you just go and do a keg and pay five bucks, but you're like 17 It was fucking great. I'm going away to a ski resort For New Year's with my daughter the main reason is to see how she adapts the ski and how she likes to cold weather Yeah, if she likes the cold weather, I Predict that within three years. I'll be living in the Grand Junction area Grand Junction moving to that area Grand Junction why Grand Junction though? Why not? I chose tally ride. I Got all that it hasn't been polluted yet with the marijuana. Yeah, and they're still houses for $300,000 Yes, that's why not that's why no Breckenridge Grand Junction Airport flies directly to JFK and LAX

seasonal So you could still get out of there Grant if anyone ever told me they removed a Grand Junction back Grand Junction in that area Yeah, I mean it's from Grand Junction. I have a dear friend in my head soon. Okay. I have a dear friend I have friends. He was just here Mike Robuck. Okay here and we spoke and he goes you still have plans and I'm gonna surprise you This family owns a supermarket chain out there. Not King Supers. I was about to say not king King super not King super Dupers. Yeah, how far is Denver from it? Oh, that's like a five over a six-hour drive Wow, okay, you got to go through the Rockies

That's on the other side. That's the west side of the Rockies When I saw my point being that till this day, I'm very ashamed of My behavior in Colorado if I would have done that behavior in New York, San Francisco, LA It was accepted. Yeah, but Colorado to me still remains a very special place Yeah, I don't like the marijuana thing in Colorado. Really? I think it brought to me. Oh Colorado been smoking big goaps in state All right, Colorado got another proof to nobody I moved to Tucson. I was in Colorado 83 and I was getting weed

Yeah, that would grow fucking hair on your balls that I Get the fuck out. So I when I went to college. I went to college at Tucson I went to the University of Arizona and before I left, you know, I went up to Boulder and I got an ounce I got I got and it was four buds four long buds and it was I waited 28 grams And I took it with me to Tucson Thinking everyone had the equivalent of boulder weed because when I was in high school boulder weed was that's what you wanted to get It that was the first time I saw weed with orange hairs the first time of the sticky shit Oh, it was boulder and I remember I brought that with me and people in Tucson were like, where the fuck did you get this weed?

What these fucking these amateurs don't understand That I'm not even talking about bold. I'm talking about Colorado as a whole. Yeah Well, I lived an ass when I used to go to Woody Creek time. Yeah. All right, great Hunter S. Thompson's water I'm seeing Hunter S. Thompson and I could lie to you guys and tell you I didn't know what the fuck I didn't know what the fuck he was One time I wanted that he was a Bill Murray. Okay, they were just about to shoot where the Buffalo, Rome. All right left I found out that he was then I went in there another time and he was in there with Don Johnson Because Woody Creek Tavern made the best fucking nachos. They used real chorizo. Yeah, nobody uses chorizo in their nachos. That's

Yeah, that's mind boggling in 1983. Oh bring a chorizo in the mountains of Colorado So fucking I would go down there And I would get weed the first time the person showed me the weed I don't know if it was the lighting in the room. It looked like coke from how the crystals. Yeah, we're on the bud So for people who don't know now, you know They've been smoking deep reef in Colorado. Those motherfuckers. I had some people who grow on weed where they made the shining Yeah, yeah, that's shining my mom worked at that hotel in college. Those fucking twins. Yeah Yeah, yeah, how good the buffet is there on Sunday? Oh, I don't know. I've never been to my mom worked there up in college

in the hotel. It's not it's the It's not the Fuck it's in it's the Broadmoor Something like the Stanley is what it's called, right? It's the Stanley in the book But I think it's the Broadmoor hotel in in real life in real life They have a buffet the Stanley or the yeah, I think I think it's still the Stanley. They have a buffet I don't know. It's the second time. It's the best buffet. So my mom work that that that hotel is really haunted. Yes

It's a very haunted hotel and my mom worked there in the summer. Yes, and she worked at the face Which was like a big that's a big deal at the hotel the weekend the family town with that So that's this park. That's this park, Colorado I don't know if this is still true, but as of ten years ago as this park was number one visited Tourist location in the United States. I thought it was the Grand Canyon. Yeah, they have squirrels that come up to you You can feed them You never blew back squirrels. That's cool, but that's better than the great. Yeah, that's great But that hotel my mom worked the breakfast shift and she said like dude coming in the tables would be like

You know chairs on the tables and stuff like everything moved around and they have to reset it But they just became like used to it because that hotel is that haunted. There's like, oh, yeah Ghosts are fucking with us again. You're like cool. And then there's shining and then they made the shiny So I think my mom was in college when they made the shining Or was that late 70s? When did the shining come out? Let's find out. I just say Had to come out I want to see that new one doctor sleep

80 oh, okay. Yes, she's way gone, but it was Yeah, and I was just moving up there. Okay, so you moved up to 83 moved up to snowmass on the heels of Ted Bundy Fuck dude. Oh, you always forget about Colorado stopover You forget Twice and he killed the chick at the Wildwood in in snowmass and I used to hang out at the stone bridge Which is right up the block so they would go. That's the first place. They take you. Let's go see where Ted Bundy killed the People would take it. You want to see where Ted buddy bashed that ladies head in Holy yeah, you forget about the Colorado stopover of Ted Bundy. You think mostly Washington and Florida, you know

Colorado was a very unique place. Like I said, it means the world to me because I became a man there Yeah, got married divorced. I failed there as a man. I went to prison there learn how to shoot Yeah, I learned how to kill people there. I mean I had a trainer there That was that's all he did blow up people wise battery acid Jesus, you know because they hate they they used to hide a lot of Vietnam. That's in Colorado To protect norad. I did not That's fucking crazy because norad is in Colorado. It's in the mountain So they would have they would you know, I just heard this. I don't know how true it is that they would

actually send A lot of because I knew a guy in snowmass village That once a year he wore his costume and a helicopter would come and get him And then he'd leave and then he'd come back and he'd be a skier But besides that he had 19 racks of Fucking metals and it's like John Jay Rambo and people had stories about him And then I became friends with him because I worked at a video store Yeah, and one day I asked him. I said you really a green beret and he goes. Yeah, I go you guys the best he goes well

A green beret a seal Fucking this and this was sitting on a ranger was sitting around making a bullet stew and Ranger was telling his stories and the seal was telling his story And this guy was his story the whole time the marine was staring the pot with his dick Like that's the story. He told me that's how tough I am. All right And he used to wear the

He's the best and a helicopter come get him and then there was a There was a guy an editor named John link. He edited above the law. Okay commando. Yeah, and What's the Steven Seagal movie hard to kill? Yeah, no, no, no, no the one wasn't he they Yes, yes He's in a coma for eight years. Yeah, hard to kill some two weeks later. He's flying through the air fucking shit up People gotta go to put fucking therapy for 10 years physical therapy

Yeah, he woke up and started I can punch it to himself. Yeah, I love that He I can punch himself out of a coma and then you know, this is when a 87 they wrote some cocaine added a He's still making those movies. I love it. Is he but yeah, they just go direct to uh in hong kong. It's him beating all those protests That's the next seagal hard to protest out the protest. Yeah, what dates you got coming up, right? I'm gonna be in san francisco I'm gonna be in boston

All dates at dan soda.com. I'm hitting the road again january. Okay, get that new, you know, put that new hour together I hear you man. Thanks so much for having me on it. It's bergreis. You called me two nights ago He's starting thursdays at the ha ha workout thursdays. He goes. I gotta start from scratch again. Yeah, and it's horrible It's terrible because you're like it's a month. Do I know how to write a fucking job a month of suicidal thoughts because you're like What the fuck am I gonna say all I keep thinking about is like, what does that even mean? and you don't book yourself for an hour because You do because you might as well embarrass yourself, but you gotta like Albany like, you know, they just got two feet of snow and they don't give a fuck if you go up then hit yourself with a hammer

Saying that i'm gonna fucking be bomb up in albany this weekend Yeah, that's why I got to wait till january to be like, all right. I got a semblance of something something Yeah, yeah, figure something out. But um, man, thanks so much for having me on man. The first time I ever saw You know, I heard of you and but I came through la for just a quick stop And I met up with arie at the comedy store and I was with louis cats And we were waiting for arie and we walked into the back of the original room And I saw you do this set and I was like, man, joey diaz is fucking hilarious Because that I just that was it was just for some reason while I was waiting for arie

Louis and I walked in sat down and watched you and you're doing a story about Teaching a cat how to do blow and it was one of the fucking hardest I've laughed And I remember leaving me like dude joey diaz is a fucking beat just you know, and I don't get out to la a lot So it's just nice to meet you and um, uh, thanks for having me on and I love to do the bonfire Dude, when in your what when do you tape? We do monday through wednesday six to eight p.m. So monday tuesday wednesday night. Yeah six days Fucking jay's a hard work dude. He's got that legionist skanks. Oh shit sex drugs and rock and roll He's doing a great new show at the stand that you definitely have to do called the worst

Where you tell a story and jay kind of Interjects with thoughts or whatever. I've done it. Uh, what nice is to do that He doesn't want some month But I if he ever doesn't know I do i'm telling you man that just me dreambooking you on the worst with big j It'd be the shit, but uh, dude, I love you man. Thanks for having me. Thank you very much It's that colorado connection. It was just no no we gotta get you back on because dude i mean I love that shit and I miss colorado, but I love them in new york I miss and that's what that's why I told my wife I go before

We spent a ton of loot Court of vacation and grand junction and flying and the whole thing. Let's see how she handles big bear And if she likes the snow and she likes falling down And all that shit i'm out of here I'm colorado bound. I'll ask for forgiveness I'll volunteer with blind kids Just uh, just to give me good karma. Yeah, because I always felt like That was the wrong place to do the things I was doing. I'm a rogan

Moving to boulder and calling me and going. I'm driving in this town and i'm seeing you And this was like a fucking candy store for you. Yeah, you know, I still remember going to kmart on christmas Yeah, and in boulder. Yeah The place was closed the gate was open There was no attendant There was 10, you know a couple trees the guy said Leave your payment in the thing and i'm like, no, he didn't And i'm broke. I look in the envelope. There's 200

I take the cash. I leave the checks and I steal the christmas tree I felt so bad about that. I went back and put 200 in this thing and I didn't tell him for what You know, there was a story that I didn't do. Yeah, but this is how nice people in colorado are and You people are listening and they're like, they're fucking stupid. No They're so nice and boulder a fucking guy Put five boxes in front of five drive ins In a bank of boulder. Yeah

So the driving lanes. Yeah, big bank with drive ins. He put a box and a sign that said Window closed put deposits in here. You'll receive receipts in the mail He did that till lunchtime till they caught on he came he got all five boxes. God knows what he stole That's how nice the people are. Oh, okay. I couldn't I was like a bully there. Yeah. Yeah Like, you know people leave your keys and ignition in the car But now you get to move back and now I get to move back and try to be a normal motherfucker I love that. All right, I love you Dan. So do the best. Listen, uh, the church is brought to you by don't forget Dan

so the special Came out on saturday night. Catch it on HBO. He's a funny guy. He's a great guy and uh, I'm happy that he made it on today I want to thank him. I want to thank the christ killer But most importantly, I want to thank you motherfuckers for supporting the church of what's happening now Let me explain some to you the holiday season's coming. You're sitting there. What am I gonna get this guy? What am I gonna get Jimmy? What am I gonna ah? I got something for you and it starts at 79 dollars The hello tushy portable bidet. You're like joey

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On hpl. I want to thank the christ killer I want to thank fucking stan soda But I want to thank you guys for being fucking family And thank you for all the compliments on mercy. She is a great kid. I'm trying my hardest I love you, motherfucker. See you monday morning Or maybe tuesday. I don't know. I haven't made up my mind yet, but I'll see you next week. All right Stay black. God bless you. Don't let nobody fuck with you kick this fucking meal. Lee I'm

I'm leaving back I I'm a Jay Paul, get out of here With a face and a beard Oh, sweet Get out! In the fear of what I'm doing in the state of My shoes are cooking, put the inches on the table

Hey, it's in the city and my love's in the middle Hey, it's on the plow and my feet's in the kettle Stand up, sit down, don't do nothing I ain't no good when boss man's stalking me down There's a lot of fake fun, don't do nothing And baby, this is how I see it, he's a liar to be When you're rockin' the streets Oh, sweet

Oh, sweet I'm a playman in the city I was a youngest child I just went parking the street Yeah, I was a youngest child I just went parking the street I was a youngest child I just went parking the street

I was a youngest child I just went parking the street