Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #750 - Carlos Alazraqui

Episode Date: January 8, 2020

Carlos Alazraqui, is a stand up comedian and actor seen in (among countless other projects) "Reno 911," "Rocko's Modern Life," and as the voice of the Taco Bell Dog, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Stamps.com -  Use code JOEY for a 4 week trial which includes postage and a digital scale. Go to Stamps.com, click on the Radio Microphone at the top of the homepage and type in church.   ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to www.CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.     

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Get better back up try and play the role and you're the whole Oh Here we go Even if you're not Irish jump I can't make it down I can't make it down So get down to see jump around jump around Call those others rocky Jew

It's great to see you my good to see you Joey unreal to believe That we both been in this town Basically the same amount of time. Yeah 94 oh my god. No, you beat me. I got you. Yeah, I'm coming out on 23 years. Yeah, that's a long time How does it feel to still be here? Well, since I moved around a lot and there's been life changes not so brutal Since I've got things going in a good direction in terms of family kids

Direction career if if it wasn't going that well, I would feel like oh fuck. I've been here a long time I gotta get out. I gotta crawl through shit pipe with Tim Robbins The didn't raise my arms up in the rain and just going I made it but no, I feel good You know, I reminded you last week when I bumped into you that You know, you gave me my first job and you forgot all about it. I don't remember that and it was to a friend of yours Geeky smart guy glasses. Yeah, we shot a short film with cameras. He took out of the garbage From 7-Eleven the 7-Eleven's through away all their security cameras He took those cameras we rigged them and we shot this

Film and we he screened that the directors guild on sunset And I don't know what I play. I think I play the homeless guy dragging a body or something I don't remember like my first, you know, and I always but it was crazy because I Always knew who you were When I started comedy the big publication was just the laughs. Oh, yeah, San Francisco Yeah, yeah, so they broke down everything that was going on and then you won the year with 93 with Pat Nozmo Mark Marin and Stephen B and Rick Kearns and my brother Rick Kearns and Carlton Williamson Carlton Williamson, you're right. You that's the name. I've been trying to come up with look at it

Just came out now. Wow. It just came out now. Wow, and I was playing Houston years ago Had to be 12 years ago. I was doing this shitty room and when I got off stage. It was Carlton Williamson Mm-hmm, and he came up and introduced himself and I go, bro What happened you took like fourth in San Francisco? I moved down here and Because people don't remember that back in the early 90s those contests were the biggest thing Yeah, Johnny Walker red. Yeah, I won the becks The becks one I did a moose head one in New York, and I was like, oh, I was way green

I remember going from Walnut Creek, California the punch line I won that section and I went to New York, and I was so green and that was from moose. Moose. What year was that? But had to proceed the San Francisco one. I want to say it was around 89 or 90 Oh Like I'm do you know the name tj. Lalo mj. Lalo. I've heard that name. Yeah. Yes. She's a voiceover coach here in town Okay, just retired I go I used to go to her to do all my voiceovers. Yeah for having an audition She has an office in Burbank. Yeah, and she was an open miker with you

Wow Okay, and she told me the old sheet and she knew all the names all the players People that would come through when she goes the most memorable guy Was Carlos. Yeah, I always had a repetition as a nice guy right now. Please. You're the cream of the crop I'm kind of proud of that moniker. I'll wear it. Yeah, that's you that's one thing you are a gentleman If not, you wouldn't be on this fucking show with us. I'm a nice crash davis You know, even I remember going up to you and saying I'm a dear friend of rick currents even though rick's my brother but at that time

It's not the kind of name you wanted to drop around but if you appreciate comedy Yeah, and the life that comes that rick Lives it to the fullest. He was the embodiment of speaking about his pain. You know, he just she's breathed at where the liquor store I remember that just him that phrase. We got to get to the liquor store. That was one of his bits I don't remember his whole bit, but he was just he would he and marin I thought were very Similar they really both came from a place of kind of like really Dark pain and oswald from his twisted sense of humor, but yeah, currents is a he was a stand-up guy He was really nice to me. That's all I remember guy from Denver, right? Yes. Yeah, I just remember being really honest nice

There wasn't any that pettiness of the competition bullshit. No, he's very straight up very crazy very You know, I think about him a lot. I just went to Denver and called him out of respect Yeah, he was out of town. He was in Tucson taking care of his mother good But he's been through some stuff, right? Yeah, he's been through some stuff the last few years But he's also he's been writing for Ron, you know white and Larry the cable guy. Yeah, he wrote for two years for the guy in Vegas Uh-huh that won the best comic of the year. So he had a great job there. Yeah, you know ricks had a great career Whatever, you know, listen, man, this is a career that has a lot of pitfalls

Oh, yeah, and you know, I was part of those pitfalls for 12 years out here. I was Fucking drugs too. I mean it just happens. Thank god. It didn't take me down. Thank god. I was a functioning Fucking addict and then the second big job we booked together was I get here in 97 First people say hello to me nobody ever talked to me No theatrical agents No management first people who talked to me a sudden barton venari Uh-huh spv come up to me and they're like we want you to sign with us and I'm like talking. What are you talking about?

And I'm like you gotta you want to shoot commercials Fucking no nothing about commercials. Yeah They took me down to La Brea across the street from Marie calendars at that time. No where what was the name of the mall that's now big On La Brea. Wow. I don't know. I'm not La Brea city People going in the middle there. It's right now set your city the grove Oh to grow their office is across the street from the grove. Okay second floor

And I still remember going down and doing paperwork and I'm going what exactly am I gonna do And they're like, well, we're gonna send you out for commercials I'm gonna send you out for voiceovers. Have you ever I'm like I've done one thing on film an industrial and a college movie Which I wouldn't show it anybody Show us you're real or not. There's no real And then you know, they sent me out for church's chicken. I still remember my first audition on sunset Across the street from the where the hook is hung out. Yeah behind it. It's not chipotle chipotle. It's chipotle

Didn't Pablo book that church's? Yes campaign So Pablo put that church's chicken. So I was like fuck I get it now and I heard what they paid him and I went my holy shit So yeah at those days you went out for auditions every day. Oh, yeah, you did every day every day You left your house at 901 and check your pager. Oh, yeah Why you were you why you were walking out at one you were like, yeah, go down a fucking What's his name? They want to see you at 130. It was mind boggling How much of your day went to auditioning you couldn't make plans

There's a hell of a lot less traffic and more parking too in order to get it done. Yeah. Oh my god You could get it done Yeah, gotta go to venice gotta go to hollywood My big things were ocean avenue and bundy. Yep. Those were the ones bundy at 430. Good luck And I went there like I fucking like a korean missile. I was fucking headed there cutting people off in traffic It's just gotta do you didn't give a fuck you pulled into bundy the guy had a german shepherd Yeah, the guy that owned the place and brian boy casting you walked in there was 90,000 people in there six rooms And I still remember they called me in a week before 4th of july weekend

And they were like you're reading for tackle bell. Oh, wow terry berland for the part of uh, a cuban taxi driver in miami And I go okay, and the director was fucking great. I forget what his name was He went out to put me in eight more commercials. Uh, whether they wanted me or not We're looking for a chinese guy. Joey Diaz is the construction. Yeah, exactly. You know, he was great to me But it all started with that commercial. I went in booked a callback. I spoke a little spanish Booked the callback. It was 4th of july weekend So they gave it to me on a friday at 9 30 in the morning

And that one they called and they said listen Taco bell scrapped your commercial But they want you to come down and work the three days venice right off of Up the corner from the really good pizza place that they make it on bagels Abbott Kenny pizza Abbott Kenny venice and electric avenue. Come on now. Who the fuck you think you're dealing with? Yeah, there used to be an a vacant lot there. Yeah, that was our base camp. I remember that. Yeah, uh, this yeah I I uh rehearsed for my one-man show with the daughter of edmund o brian very famous actress from the 40s who married Ogles on one the two sisters used to live on willowcrest right next to me in north hollywood

mario brian was his daughter and her house was right on that empty lot right by that Right by electric avenue. So every time I go to rehearse. I'd go to abbot. Kenny get the bagel crust pizza every time That's why I know where it is. How fucking great was it when you had an audition down here? Thank god. Abbott Kenny pizza. I get to get two slices of cheese pizza now, you know If instead I don't make it to abbot. Kenny, but when i'm on that side I go to uh 10th and wilshire, uh, Santa Monica seafood market. I sit at the bar Seven days a week. I can get a red clam chowder man head and best clam chowder and fish That market i'm telling you where the Santa Monica seafood market 10th and wilshire where the hot commercial

police isn't I haven't been in the commercial um, I I haven't been in a ton either there's that's uh 1035 uh, uh, allison horn is on sycamore Uh, there's a great one on 1035 olympic because my daughter goes a ton my daughter goes on way more stuff than I do So I know that's a hot one allison horn is a hot one 200 south lebrea is still a hot hot one That's on the check out avenue. There's still a big one over there Yeah, right by the peck. Oh, I was my favorite because I go to peck on your cat food and your cat dishes

444 lanker shim is a pretty good one for the valley. They do a lot of stuff there a lot of ventura It's on lanker shim. There's a couple on ventura as well ventura and eureka where the marshals clothes is there's a little Commercial audition yes in the corner. Yeah, they pretty much have a change one is up the corner by the car wash Yeah, it's a long building. Yes, and that's where I saw the little chinese girl late It was raining out in LA. Uh-huh and all fucking nine studios were packed And people standing outside getting wet. I remember walking in the sign and going Why is out there people outside getting wet? And it was little chinese girl with 20 headshots on the floor

And her and her girlfriends and the mother were deciding what head shot to use and I was like That's fucking crazy. This is shit that you wouldn't there's people outside in the rain Yeah, and you're standing here but back to your story. Yeah, okay night go down there The first day and they say sit in your trailer You know we're gonna pay you Sit for three days If you want something to eat go get it at crafty And I'm sitting at the lunch they call lunch and we're all eating together

The director's two tables away And I got the commercial, you know who booked the principal in that commercial buzz babe moondo I've ever him. Yeah, r.i.p. Good guy. His wife was an agent. Yeah buzz babe moondo was a very decent guy You know, I just got me. I've been here six months. I was looking for guidance, you know Guys like you I would ask questions. You know, you had stupid questions And I remember it was three days of him giving me knowledge about the comedy works and how it worked and Be careful with this and he was a great guy so

The director heard me talk And he kiska Kiska kiska was his name white dude big dude and he came over to me and he goes bro I'm gonna get you Because you just made me laugh my ass off. Yeah stick close to me So who was shooting? He goes, you know why I got an idea. He goes, why don't you get your shoes shined? And we'll let the dog run past you. Oh, that's you So I was getting my shoes shined

Uh, another comedian was a sag extra. He shined my shoes. That's you. He what he looks as the dog goes by That's you in the chair. That's me in the chair So they shot three the first time They shot the miami commercial They shot the acid trip with the fat kid that was really really fat He was the last factory regular. Yeah, and he was in cowboy blues Cowboy, whatever the first football one. He's the big guy Look for him today. He's the lineman, right? Yeah, he lost all the weight. He did the surgery and then now he's

Nobody wants to get me work, but I'm not a fat guy. Don't fuck yourself. You should have kept eating. Yeah That's your way in the door. Then you got to lose weight gradually. You can't go from 900 pounds to 180 That's like, you know, you just lost your career. That's like getting a free agent That's a fastball pitcher. Now all of a sudden you want to throw a curveball. We drag you for your fastball Gradually to trick them or fat. Let's look at their headshot. Whoa. He's not fat enough But he was good in your audition. Yeah, you know I'm saying but if you walk in there looking like you got cancer You had 900 pounds. It's not gonna look good. So they shot three of those commercials And then I found that you were the voice. Yeah

And you know, I never talk about money on here. Never do I talk about money on here? I was fucking eating When I booked that commercial my menu pretty much was breakfast at Josh Wolf's house Whatever he cooked scrambled eggs tofu eggs. You gotta eat. Yeah And then I would scrap of money from somebody Doug Stanhope Hedberg And I would go to wendy's and get the 69 cents cheeseburger And a bowl of chili 1996 97

You're right December 97 Scott LaRose and the other guy were on fire with the mcdonald's commercial. Yeah, that's right They were on fire Scott rose is going to the bank every day and banking up a big brinks fucking truck Yeah, that's right. They were playing those mcdonald's commercials, but that taco bell commercial I shot at july Fourth weekend I got paid august 15th And by fucking september they were just running the fuck out of it. Oh, yeah, and the success was so overwhelming That they kept playing and playing And they didn't have time to scramble like they didn't know the success of the door

Yeah, and then you at the end you'll get a taco bell. They had no idea what they were Yeah, then they ended up making, you know, how many more I think about 40 in the end. I did spanish ones, too No, shit. I didn't have a no puede ir más rápido can't this boat go any faster Yeah, I did a couple spanish ones And you're At the time yeah, you did like 40 of them. I did 40 there's spots that people pull up today I got I don't even remember that I don't even remember that was you in that spot And I've seen that spot several hundred times that did listen they paid me for a tenth of a second

And they made Fernando redugo was his name. Uh-huh. He doesn't open my comic Till this day when he sees me he hugs me. Yeah, and he was man. Thanks Because I dragged him with me. I said come stick close. Yeah, awesome guy says gonna put me in don't go to your trailer Yeah, stick close not too close I want the guy to turn around go. Oh bring him in here. Yeah Stick, you know, and you learn that from gene hack and gene hackman in this book always said I never leave this set Yeah, I want to see what's going on. I want to get the feel of the set people who hide in their trailers are fucking amateurs

Yeah, so because I read that that's why I learned that. Yeah, and I remember making I think I made 80 grand in four. Wow The first four months it was like I couldn't even go to the bank. I didn't even have a checking account Yeah, because I was wanted by the federal marshals So I had a check I had a cast my check. Yeah, Whitley. Yeah Whitley in Hollywood that check cash in place People by name Yeah, that's probably the most I've ever had anyone cash there. Yeah, I knew those people by name and you went with them just Became a voiceover actor. Yeah pretty much that kind of helped. I was already doing voiceover

I was doing rockers modern life and cat dog and then I was touring and um I was in town I worked on the Stephanie Miller show as a sketch player in the upn 13 weeks of james westley stevens the third and caramari amma from The ground was james westley. I don't know Now what was that show the Stephanie Miller Stephanie Miller show and upn it was a talk show And we were the irregular regular so I would do an ounce top of show live I would announce the tv show on abc on upn

It was on abc. No it was upn. We filmed it in the dr. Phil's stage 29 actually in the soul train stages stage 29 on the paramount lot 1995 thinking I had made it. I got a drive on on the winster gate. I got my winster card James stevens was the music director. He was like their co James westley stevens the third was a comic come to do impressions. You know, I know who is now. I remember who he is and uh Uh, we had another music director was another black guy for his name. He was very good But it was a talk show last at 13 weeks. We got fired at christmas And I thought fuck I gotta go back on the road again But Stephanie goes no I have a radio show

And you can pay a thousand the old kabc building on la sienega where it meets fairfax, which is now gone They they're building apartments there. And uh, I would go five days a week And do these radio sketches from five to seven they would play them and I would drive home and that kept me in town And I wasn't on the road and there was then at that time There was an audition right around mid 96 late 96 for a taco bell With terry berlant. So I was in town because of this Stephanie Miller connection You know her tv show was gone But then she got a radio show again

And she goes you want to do voices and sketches on my radio show for like a thousand dollars a week Like that's fucking great money as a comic at that time. Yeah, instead of going on the road. I can stay here in the month Yeah spots around town. Yeah, I can do spots around town. I can audition show Yeah, it kept me in town for that audition and it was four words on a piece of paper terry berlant west side And I'm like you'll get a taco bell This is fucking waste of time You know, how am I gonna get this and I you'll get it She goes no don't want to hear that about 250 people going

Just do your own voice. I don't know. You'll get a taco bell do it a little deeper You'll get a taco bell. Oh, what a fucking waste of time bullshit drive home, you know, and I show up the first session they go Act like this is your body. Oh like you're like you're dealing I'm gonna act a little tougher and like You'll get a taco bell Good. Thank you. All right. That was a demo. I was like, all right. Thank you Did a demo got paid for the demo and then next thing I

It just blew up as as you said I had no idea And uh, so that changed the scope of my career from being like for me the road was always tough It was always I felt it as a soulless thing. It just wasn't my love So I was like, yes, I can stay in town. I could do these commercials And then that booked me more. But I did a fucking Hollywood squares I'm talking to Sugar Ray Leonard who at the time was 44 years old. I was 44. He goes, how are you man? Like I'm talking to Sugar Ray Leonard. He got I go 44. He goes, you got any kids? I don't have any kids. No, how'd you do that? How'd you pull that off?

I'm like, I'm about to give Sugar Ray Leonard some advice. I don't know. I've always been afraid But I was talking to Sugar Ray Leonard. I heard my name Carlos Ellis Rocky for the block So I wasn't high but it felt like I was high. I'll trade Carlos Ellis Rocky for the block and I'm in the square Looking out at a show I used to watch as a kid. It was all fucking surreal. So Uh, yeah strange that we would have these connections that I've compartmentalized and forgotten about but That was a pretty incredible time because both of our lives changed respectively Yeah, I had all this money come in and I had a merchandise deal and I had to move out of my apartment because like you for tax purposes you need to get a house. Oh, fuck. Okay

and I bought one in the valley and Modest little how I could afford it. I didn't go nuts. I didn't go I'm gonna live on Sunset Boulevard in a mansion because I'm the Taco Bell down My brother was like there to like no investor money If I can buy a house you can afford put it in a in a in a financial market planning thing Do all those things which I did and it and it paid off But yeah, our lives change, you know, you go from having I had a moderate amount of money

I lived in a studio apartment in Burbank. I was paying 6.95 a month for a studio apartment and Doing some voiceover work and doing some comedy on the road to to pay for that and then this thing happened and it's I've always spoken about how Every comedian's journey is different. Yes, you know I too If I could have it my way Now at this point in my life, I wouldn't go on the road Yes, but I do love it so much. You still love it. Yeah, I still love it to go out twice a month

Yeah, my body. I don't want to write a check. I can't cover. Do you do a weekend? I'll do a weekend Friday and Saturday Friday and Saturday four shows Four shows sometimes five travel with a comic, you know and like yes that big difference. I would do that big difference I would do I get my choices. I don't work Sundays I'd like to travel on Thursdays from time to time if I Want to work out material. I'll take a Thursday, especially the local improv like I'm doing bray in march. Yeah I'll do, you know A Thursday. Yeah, I'm doing tempi in february. Yeah

It's not too far. You're in touch with your family. You could bring them if you want. Yes. No, I don't try to bring them I want them mercy would never leave school. Yeah, she got a trophy her first year Perfect attendance and never being late. Yeah, Jesus comes to town with the Jonas brothers. She's not she's going to school first She's going to school for so yeah, you could that's good. I didn't I didn't want to do that with my career I didn't want to Involve them in that road thing because it's really not what I'm into a hundred percent. Yeah It's one of the many weapons that I use. Yeah to many avenues

It's definitely a suitor armor if you're playing dungeons and dragons That's a tool to have like I'm a comedian my comedian armor. You can't hurt me. You know So that's this is I like what I'm doing now. You know, I like the split Yeah It's when I tell people when you get get sick of saying those jokes Yeah, then you shouldn't be on the road. Yeah, get the fuck off the road because you're doing them at the service Yeah, you know, they got a babysitter and you're just being robotic. You're on your eighth week in a row Yeah, that's what happened to me. I wasn't like, no

So I'd rather Now I'm pretty fortunate. I could do theaters So I could do a seven o'clock show That's perfect. Nobody's drinking or they get the drinks outside. They said they said chicken wings going by this year I'm trying to avoid late shows because I lost contact Yeah With the people who come to the shows because you you have to do two shows you're not gonna be in that area Yeah, and the theater's like listen, we'd like for you to come out

But if not, well, we're not gonna start the second show till midnight. Fuck that You know, you know, my daughter austin. I nicknamed her when she was a baby I nicknamed her friday second show because I couldn't fucking make her laugh I go you're friday late show. I can't fucking make you laugh. That's hilarious. You get it as a comment Do you remember when that was a repeat? That was the big thing fucking friday late show. You're in no danger Because they're really tired. They made a mistake. They're drunk. They made a mistake. They made a mistake Who is this guy? I'm drunk. It worked all week. They didn't even know some idiotic girl at work The chubby girl at work always brings pound cake. Yeah, you know, the julie mccoy of the office

Yeah, every office has one of those chubby chicks not against you. You're cute. They get drunk They'll suck you a little dick from time to time. You know what I'm saying? No me too that chubby That's just a way of doing business. You know what I'm saying? Uh, they always schedule these things and people don't know that's why I don't do new years. Yeah It's the same we talked about that. Yeah, I don't do new years People and I did 24 of them. Yeah, I ain't a party favor anymore. I did 24 of them and Two of them were probably good. Yeah, because it's just a nightmare. You know, I don't want to I never want the audience to have an unpleasant experience

Yeah, I want them to fucking laugh and have a great time and you know Well, uh Joey was great. He did four hours. Listen, I don't want to see fucking nobody do four hours. Yeah No, I get it. I respect the staff thing to do four hours. Yeah 50 minutes if boom, there's one bit that's been working to close with we're doing the hour And we get the fuck out get out so you don't lose your attention span You guys are good give more leave them wanting more the staff loves you everybody gets to go home Everybody's just a stat just to let you know. Yeah 13 million people saw the irishman. Yeah on netflix one week

18% of them finished it. Yeah Okay, yeah, you know When you put a thing on netflix now It's all done by algorithms But they're seeing if your show gets watched all the way to the end you're a hit Yeah, like you're definitely getting picked up if it gets stopped and then replay it again They consider all those. Yeah, it's so fucking weird. It is. Yeah, Netflix will never give you real numbers because it's so confusing Yeah, but uh, I'm the same way. I just want to do 50 minutes

Get off the stage. Yeah And talk to them. Yeah, I have two shows. I can't really talk to yeah Some of my favorite weekends when I was I was garcy on reading on one talk about a dog was still Just tail end of it and I got to travel with joe michel melion And we were like-minded we like to get out during the day and go do stuff and walk through cemeteries and Go to tji friday's after the show not get crazy, but just talk about the show She's somebody I bonded with and I remember if I had that situation again, I would do a weekend like you I would go to tempi I'd even go all the way across coast just to do a weekend

That I could see myself doing again friday and sat friday at saturday Somebody I really liked to be with When I go on the road now, it's also an escape from what's going on here. Yeah It's an escape from the phone ringing from this guy wanted to pitch your script You know this that this I don't worry about that. I'm on the road You know, that's why people contact me. Would you do my podcast? I'd love to yeah, but I'm on the road Yeah, but I'm on the road. I'm doing fucking comedy. Yeah, don't ask. I'm doing I don't want to do radio Yeah, I'm doing stand-up. Oh, I'm not selling t-shirts. Yeah, I'm not selling merch

Yeah, I'm just doing four fucking shows. Yeah, and I want to be so focused that I want to give you the best show So you come back next year. Yeah, that's cool. That's it 18 months in between cities So they don't it's perfect. There's no turn over yet. There's turn over there. Yeah, don't even remember your old Yeah, exactly and if you do throw a gem in from the old school though appreciate Yeah, you know nobody wants to go see zeppelin not here black dog I know a lot of people don't like talking about it, but I thought something that was interesting was used to Do you got to talk about when you were 44? Oh gosh talk about 1996 I was born in 1962

So 34, right? Okay. Is that right? Does that make sense? Yeah, you I was around you're 34. Okay. Yeah, maybe I was maybe like the No, sugar Ray Leonard was 44 got it. Okay 10 years on me. Which is why I didn't fight him. Okay. Um, but it's uh A lot of people come in and like I was watching spade and saying we'll talk about being on that's not like 25 Yeah, and that's pretty like you guys both came here and started semi late 34 It's not super late, but yeah till I get a big break at that age to help you 32 when I moved here 94 Yeah, it does because you're a little bit more grounded. I mean, I've grown a lot since then But yeah, it wasn't some 20 year old kid because if I did get talked about when I was 24

I would have bought that house on sunset. Yeah And limo to the in yeah all that shit. I would have blown it bitches topless bitches running out the window and I did buy an Audi TT. That was my one big expense. It's really crazy the Maturity what maturity does to you in this game what a kid does what a kid does life kid And it's not just maturity people look at it as oh, maybe Diaz is hard to work with like right now You know People hit me up every week. I'm more

I do better on the internet so every two weeks I get We have a web series. Yeah You know not for nothing look at your fucking web series I'm gonna have to go on then carry this fucking thing on my own then I'm gonna get the call to tweet it And you got you don't you can't pay me for that. Yes, that's not even the thing, you know So it's like I really don't uh I don't even know what the topic was here that Working young youth how to handle youth and fame and youth and fame and people coming up to you and stuff

I I couldn't uh, I told Lee if this would have happened 15 years ago. This would have been gone by now Yeah, because you would have gone for something else. I would have. Yeah, I would have got stayed up and done coke 1115 You and him would have still been here. Yeah, and this would have been like wasn't I wasn't consistent Yeah, I wasn't uh, and those were the reasons why I wasn't getting nowhere. I was spinning my wheels Yeah, but it's so weird how How many people have you seen come a lot? Quite a few Everything the most famous is Richard Jenny, you know

No, no, no. I'm not talking about people dying Right. I know what you mean. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah The flame the 15 minutes of fame the boom people came here with you Yeah, and you struggled for years and yeah, all of a sudden you moved a little ahead of him and They they lost his sight and one day you actually Because not because you're a bad person, but because there's so many little things going on in your life one day you actually go Where the fuck is Lisa?

Yeah And you pick up the phone What's up, buddy? And he's like, yeah, how you doing? I tried to call you, but I think you're out of town We moved we moved back to oakum. Yeah, I'm selling real estate now and uh, mark curry is a guy I saw on a plane recently Good old mark. I just bumped into him. He's doing spots again. I think he's doing spots at the store One of the most naturally funny guys I've ever seen you came up with mark curry. Yeah, he ran. Well at that time He was running oakland. Yeah, he ran. I still remember him running oakland. Like when he got his tv show It was no surprise. Mr. Hooper. Mr. Yeah, hang on mr. Cooper

Whatever you know, you gotta remember when I got into comedy all you guys had already been exposed. Yeah Through mtv kamikaze Yeah Sunday power comedy roseo donald You know, there was so much comedy when I got into comedy. I went home every day at four o'clock. Yeah club mtv Whatever comedy kamikaze was on. Yeah, and they would shoot it from san francisco. So I still remember seeing felicia and Yeah, marin and and you know These are the guys and at that point they were all doing comedy for five years. Yeah

They weren't really like power hitters, you know, they're pretty young still you had that show on a and e on sunday Uh any yeah sunday comics comedy police comedy at the improv any He's at the improv any comedy at the improv with bud Friedman if you I remember oh I got and bud introduced me and I got to shake his hand after the set I was like, wow, I made it. So you did even I did even at the improv. Good for you, man. Yeah way back when Yeah, I did a bunch of shows gary binams comedy on the road in mexico and puerto varianta

Gary binam from comedy on the road with gary binam. Uh, no different gary gary binder Binder, okay. Is it gary binder the comedian jon binder? Sorry jon binder gary binam was the guy in arizona jon binder's comedy on the road and we did it from puerto varianta Yeah How does it feel to be one of the elders now? It feels pretty good. Like I say, I'm a nice crash davis I've been in this business for a long time and so when I go to flappers and young comics are You know flapping their peacock feathers and stuff. I'm just like, uh, it's awesome. It's good for you

I like I always feel like I got mine I'm cool. I feel I feel good I feel I was very young when I approached it and I approached it from I wanted to be like this comic and that comic and that comic It was never really myself. I was a good performer. I could do voices. I could I could make a good set happen that's never really me So now I feel still like I'm young at comedy But it still feels good to be the the old guy to go after taco bell. What started to happen after taco bell

That went till 2000 That ended in 2000 the michigan ad company sued taco bell because they said we came in before shy day We came up with the ad and you guys passed us. They won that lawsuit taco bell ended in 2000. I'm like, fuck I'm panicking now. I got to go out in the road. I shoved myself back out on the road again I didn't like it. Uh, at least I got to travel with jildos. It was a bearable. It was fun And then in 2000 christmas of 2000. No 9 11 was 2001, right? 9 11 was 2001 9 11 happens

I'm doing I did some industrial thing for direct tv. I was making a commercial and then december of 2001 I did a movie with ellen page called I downloaded a ghost ellen page, of course. It's super famous But I played at her ghost and you can you can see it somewhere Uh, I did october right after 9 11. I did a movie for nicolodian in saskatoon saskatch one for one month Come back and in december there's an audition for ben tom and carrey For this sketch show called ugly americans jersey television, uh, john landgraf who now I think still runs fx And uh, dany devido's company jersey films

Then I go and do this three characters for ben tom and carrey Do uh, the chamois call a guy that's selling him, you know, a cocktail now. It looks like a cocktail. I did that guy I did uh, buddhy allen. Did you sue me? And then I did uh, uh, Al Pacino as a as a uh, as a children's birthday clown, which actually got me a commercial with spike lee um So I did those characters uh december they said, yeah, you're going to studio you go to network I book the ugly americans as a sketch player with nisi nash uh, ben tom and carrey

And cedric and this woman named amy brissette who's now living in st. charles. Do you remember this great lady? amy brissette super talented i'm still in touch with her Super nice super talented children. Hi amy. You're your amazing talent. She's a great lady We spoke she she might come on the podcast when she comes up. She played my daughter And uh, we do this pilot, uh, we actually go to a table read for fox gale burman And we do it in all our sketches that ben and tom and carrey wrote and nisi's doing her thing I remember she played a q q television slave like there's a slave for sale on q tv It's pretty inappropriate

Um, but we do all these sketches they the meeting ends and then next day they're like fox is passing on this show It's not going to happen But you still got a budget We've got one week to come up with something meet us at the sunset gower studio on monday. We have an idea We're going to go we're going to make fun of cops go home and think about a character We're going to call it reno 911. I went home and I thought oh barney five self-loathing kind of a racist He's a prick garcia doesn't think he's mexicans hates other mexicans. He's all law abiding That kind of guy and I showed up beth mccarthy from snl was there. We filmed all these sketches

We rehearsed we went out to san paedro and we're making a crew laugh We're making the fucking gaffers and the lighting and the electric guys laugh and we go that's fucking good That's like making the staff laugh at a comedy club. You know, you got something So 2001 we do that pilot in san paedro for reno 911. We do it. It's great. We think it's awesome. Take it to fox Who we had to deal with and they go now we're passing. Well, ah, fuck. Oh well We tried and then a year and a half later back out on the road Actually instantly in 2001 back on the road and then a year and a half later Jim sharp requests material from ben tom and carry because they had done the viva variety show in the state

And they said we got this pilot that we shot reno 911 fox didn't want it And they took a look at it and said we want to make it we're going to series And so we reshot that pilot shot for shot for comedy central in 2003 and then off it went And that's pretty much the one did reno 911 premiere. I think 2003 june of 2003. I want to say they just took off It was a great shot. It's amazing. Was it before or after shappell started? Do you know what you remember? It was simultaneous. Okay, and I remember us being a jealous of shappell's ratings You know and then two right at the same time Okay, you had two wonderful shows that are just strong and great and inventive

And that's what I wanted to do. That's when I found out that voiceover and on acting on camera acting Fed me more than stand-up. I like stand-up. But that's what I love And it's coming back actually on quibi. We could talk about that in the future, but reno is coming back on catzenberg streaming channel We're set to film probably end of january beginning of february 4 quibi They bought 120 minutes of material and the original cast will be back wendy mclendon covey from The goldbergs bev from the goldbergs cedric nissy from claws obviously cedric from many things But we're all back. We're all going to do little sketches and we'll see how it goes

But after 10 years, you know, I also got to reprise rocko's modern life after 25 years We did static cling which was last year So all these things are coming back And that's that's how my career tracked. I I was doing comedy to sort of survive and pay the bills But voiceover came with rocko's modern life in 1991 92. I remember being at the last laugh in in seattle On a pay phone and I was eating my clam chowder and it was fine I was headlining the last laugh But I was lonely and then it's like rocko's going to series and I jumped up and down and my thing was I can get off the

Road now. I have I have an animated series. I was so happy It was probably my best sets ever because I didn't care, you know, I don't need this anymore and then I started with rocko and I was weaving that that thing at the same time And now These days voiceover is more of my career I go out on auditions for on camera stuff. You have your studio laughs I had a little whisper booth. Yeah, it's in the in the garage so the kids can't get to me

I can lock the garage and just go in my whisper booth shut it do my auditions with a little Plug-in mic on my phone It's a motive it's a mz88 sure mic It's right in the end of the phone. But so that's pretty much what I do now, but that's how it tracked but Yeah, um, there was like significant change. I always you know And relative to how the competition went for mark maryon and patin oswald who went on are super prominent now And I won and it was always the curse of the second the first place guy robin williams came in second, you know

You know, I think it was either patin or mark maryon that came in second I thought will I be the curse of the winner of the competition? Yeah, I don't have patin oswald notoriety or mark maryon notoriety But I went the way I was supposed to go and then I had You know, I got married in 2009. I have two daughters as you know And uh, this feels right if super big fame comes along That's fine. If not, I like doing what I'm doing like you love doing this

I love going to our Our martial arts class with the kids and it's just comfortable for me. It's it's like I don't need I'm not want for like to make a speech at some award show, you know if it happens. It's fine Um, go into the cons meeting fans I like going to the cons more than I do stand-up because stand-up as you know, if you aren't with somebody that you dig It's a it's a prison sentence. It's like, uh, I got to get out of this fucking apartment or condo I got to go walk somewhere to the mall. Okay, that killed an hour and a half now fucking what I don't feel like righty I'm depressed and it's wednesday and it's fucking wednesday and it's wednesday

The cons I fly in on a thursday night I go to a steak. I go to a beautiful steak place and sit at the park I have a little whiskey. I have a little beer get my appetite going I go back home I work out in the pool in the morning. I go and I'm on the floor all day with people who think I'm great Yeah, I'm jealous of Tom Kenny's big line, but fuck that. I people love me. I'm signing autographs I get to interact with fans that they tell you what they mean to you much more polite than comedy crowds You know, they're not drunk. They're kids. They're families I I make money

I love it because I'm around people all day and then at night the con agents and organizers say we're going out to dinner with Oh, David Harbour and and Sean Aston and then I'm included awesome so I would love to do more cons as opposed to doing stand-up on the road, but I would do both so this is the life that I'm doing now and uh It happened despite what I thought I wanted, you know, when we were younger. I want this fucking show I want this movie. Why can't I be like that guy? And then you're like, okay, this is bullshit. See that's repeat

At 57 to first off you had no curse Yeah, curse would have been if you would have been a realtor right now. Yeah, exactly own your own Construction company right now. There's nothing wrong with that. Yeah, and there's nothing wrong with evolving I just saw remember that show. Where are you now? Are they now and they show this guy that was on the road with like bon Jovi and now you just paying houses Yeah, not in the Irishman kind of way No, he's he's he's he's he's having a good life and He's doing he put away his money. He bought a home. Yeah, he secured his family's future

Yeah, and he really wanted a paint the road wasn't for him anymore. Yeah, you know, I was watching the Guns and Roses thing when One day is he just didn't want to be in the band no more. Yeah, just wasn't for me anymore You know, whatever when you become a comedian when you first got on that open mic stage Some people don't want to move to California and be a star. Mm-hmm. Did you know that? Oh, yeah So a lot of SF comics don't want to move to LA and make a jump. Some people want to stay in Chicago Yeah, entertain locally, you know do a couple weekends in Indiana or Milwaukee Jack Gallagher was that guy jack Gallagher. I think won the competition and was from boston moved to san francisco

Got his show in LA Letters to Declan was his one-man show that got him the tv show it ended he moved back to sacramento Became the out the dina dairy or did some dairy spokesman loved it in sacramento But a nice house and the beautiful I think they called it the beautiful 80s the beautiful 30s Like eight is enough house in sacramento and that's what he wanted. He goes i'm done. I love sacramento I did my television show. I'm a great comic I love it here and that I remember that that sunk into me That that sunk into me. I went okay. Wow

You can there's no shame in doing what you love No, but this is here's what i'm learning Sometimes I want to give up and just like oh fucking show business is not fair and fucking i'm gonna go fucking Just you know Own a sports club in canada and i'm like no I still want to be creative I still want to do those old movies and pull fucking cameras out of a garbage can and do that shit again You know, I still want to write stuff and make stuff happen

And that's the important thing is like I still for all of us stay creative And let the chips fall where they may do what you love stay creative think of something go for it And it'll happen. I made a movie. I made a movie called witness infection. I financed it myself marisa lemarash terra strong erin haze rob belushi My jill michelle melion myself bred Ernst Plays my son dominic it'll come out. We'll have a screening, but it's called witness infection You can go to the website, but I made it. I want I want to fucking make this movie. Will I ever get financing? No, I won't fuck it. I'm paying for it. Let's do it

So I put in all the money and showed up the first day. There was an all-in-one truck. There's craft service And here's erin haze and here's rob belushi and they're acting and something that I wrote with jill And we created something will it make my money back? Hopefully maybe we're gonna premiere it at the hawth festival in san antonio in february And uh, hopefully it'll get some festival other festivals. We'll have an la screening. We'll see what happens, but I fucking made it I made it. I made a fucking film feature film Executive produced it wrote it acted in it and I I didn't know how that happened. I don't know how it happened I didn't set out to do it

So there's no curse. There's no curse. Yeah, I know Hey, I got my family. I live in a really cool place. There's no curse. It's really weird When you move here The state of mind you have And then one day when you for me it was I got here in 97 And in 2009 Everything leveled off Like I knew what I wanted

I knew what I didn't want out of this no more. I knew what I was gonna do. Yeah And what I wasn't gonna do no more I made all those decisions Like in 2008 And I think and I said, this is what it's gonna be. I'm not gonna have a B service over me. Yeah I'm not ever gonna be kevin hart. I'm not ever gonna be and I could blame it on the system or whatever. No, it's not even what I want Yeah, I can't even imagine Running from people or walking into an arena and having to do good morning

Yeah, and talking to fucking some lady and I can't imagine those things. Yeah I just wanted to be happy after 2009 And all of a sudden this venture opened up the podcast world opened up when I opened I started doing a podcast with felicia And it was just great. It was a different creative outlet Was it what I intended to do when I first got on stage? Not really And that's what makes this fun. That's what made this all the funner. This was another expected u-turn Yeah, and that opened up 52 other avenues

You know, yeah one day I tell a story on an ari shafir show He starts that the fucking hollywood improv lab. Yeah, it goes digital the next thing You know, I've made it to three years of four years on network. Well, you know, uh, and I got a piece of that So it's like somebody told me when when you're 20 when we're young we come here and we're looking for the home run Yep And then yeah, we turn into a rod caru and then and then one day in 2009 we become p-rose Yeah contact hitters for little hits. You went for p. I was a little singles little singles But every time a single yeah every two times a single and god forbid there's a guy on third

God forbid there's a guy on third. I'm gonna hit a single on you I went from swinging for the home and that makes your life So much easier. Yeah Well, if I get this film with Travolta and this I could do the weekends and cellarinas. No, you're not. Yeah. No, you're not That's just something you've put in your fucking mind Yeah Go in there do the best you can and then worry about that spot at the store tonight or the improv with our

The lab factory or wherever the fuck you're going Yeah, like there's a there's a point of where your mind is when you get here And there's a point after you've been beat up and kicked a little bit Yeah, told you're not mexican. So you can't do a road you're perfect for yeah, you put it all together You learn who to live with who to avoid. Yeah, i'm gonna avoid that motherfucker because every time he talks to me He's the kiss of death. Yeah, all his projects suck anyway. Yeah, you know the projects are great until it comes time to Promote then you don't know nobody. Yeah, then the cousin at cbs died Remember those projects. How many of those did you do? I got a cousin at cbs

She could definitely give it to moose moose mudbed. Oh, that's shit. Yeah, you shoot and all of a sudden you get a call one day She got fired. Yeah, they left. What's dealing they fired everybody at the top Do you have anybody who you could pitch it to and you like do I look like johnny pitcher? Yeah I'm trying to fucking do spots. I'm trying to get a new jimmy show shella. Yeah. I'm trying to do three fucking minutes Yeah, yeah, how many cons are you doing a year now? How many cons? I did four or five I'd like to do up to 10 and I'm hoping with this reno news that it would get me at least 10 This reno news was huge. It was huge. It was really cool. And I was happy for their fan base Yeah, you guys had a unique fucking fan base. Yeah, that was very very loyalty

Yeah, I saw it somewhere and I was like, wow, I didn't know re and then you guys did a movie after Yeah, reno 911 miami miami 2009 2006 rather, sorry I did my first hosting weekend on the road and it was in reno and I wasn't saw the sign That that's why I asked about chappelle because that was it was before it's time with the internet because it was The with the sketches like you could see different parts of it and it would be funny by itself Yeah, stand and like I think it was interesting what you said joey about netflix about how not that many things get finished Because I think if you looked at it the most popular things on streaming are 22 minutes tops

Oh, yeah Because it's short. You can watch little clips on online. You'll have to see the whole thing reno 911 Like I was gonna ask you guys how cool is it like you've done things that maybe weren't didn't get picked up or weren't That critically like whatever but you guys both have things that Are going to be remembered for 50 years. Yeah pretty iconic classic with both the talk of all and this show And we're learning now algorithms based on what quibi wants how the kids are watching they're watching vertically So we'll shoot it this way, but when you tilt your to your phone sideways, it'll pick up something else in the shot

Here's the length that needs to be here's how we're going to change Here's what we're going to do So they've got a formula of how this new reno is going to be It'll be a lot of it will be the same But a lot of it will be just the the crunch berries, you know what I mean Before it was captain crunch with crunch berries now the kids just want mostly the crunch berries A little bit of captain crunch crunch berries boom go Move on as a 10 minute one

The we're up to 10 minutes, but I think they're finding that the perfect length. It's going to be six to eight minutes Though they're basically They're going to pay for 120 minutes of material We're probably going to shoot 200 and see how much we can You want to keep going and then we're just going to show it We'll get a guy like neck schwarzen who played terry in the shorts Giving blowjobs hand jobs at the intersection We'll get him on one day and we'll shoot 10 sketches with him and just knock it out and modularize it

And then we'll get uh toby huss who played a character big mic toby huss We'll do 10 sketches with him get it out of the way Nisi nash plays titi. She's the girl with the big jugs and oh mom Whatever's toward him day was midgets. We'll shoot 10 things with her get it out of the way Because now we have to shoot catches catch can because wendy and cedric and tom And nisi are very busy. So we're literally going to shoot when we can weekends Uh, try to do morning briefing when we get everybody just shoot a bunch of more Two days of morning briefings rattle them all out and then just plug it in plug it in. It's like a puzzle

And then it'll all be back again like magic like this is like instant oatmeal this time around As opposed to you know seal cut 20 minute oatmeal. We'll make it but it'll be just as good We're all excited. We had a dinner two weekends ago three weekends ago and just to see everybody again You know it's like oh fuck the gang is back the gang is back So that you talked about starting something for the new year which sets your year And that when I found out that news finally that this was going to come back And the money that they're negotiating with because cat's a burger has some good money. I'm like, I'll take whatever I'm like, I'm not a whatever you want to give me. I'll take but if you say we can negotiate for more

Okay, I'll take it. I'll take it. So And it's weird. I don't know about you. I don't Only in terms of helping pay for this movie that I financed I don't really think about oh, I'm gonna get so much money I think about I get to be creative again. Yeah It's so weird. Hell at this age the money is I've got enough. I've made some good investments You always want more you're gonna always gonna need more but it's like that doesn't move move the needle for me It's like no, we're doing Reno again. That's why I said, whatever you want to fucking pay me. I'm fine. I'm down I'll be the I'm doing comedy in spanish this year. Oh, really? Yeah

I'm starting in my spray just in miami. Yeah, the only ones I understand what the fuck. I'm saying Yeah, I keep an accent I was doing that spain yo I'm doing uh, the name of my show is uh, me. No, I'm peeky. English Me. No, I'm peeky. English. No peeky. English. I love it. You know, I understand one man's show Yeah, trying to put a one-man show together do little workouts once a month at the county store the third Wednesday of the month Yeah, you know, will it go anywhere? I have no idea. I want to see you on the start on the sopranos prequel Yeah, I'm ready for that. We're ready. No, no, no. I'm not pussy. It's a complete difference. It's a secret. Are you gonna be on it? It's the prequel

You should be on it. I am you are on it. Yeah, I shot it already. That's of course you in 25th That's great. How was it? How was gendolfini son? Tremendous really nice kid Yeah, what a guy that really impressed a couple guys impressed me, but David chase is a different level. Yeah different comedic. He wrote it about his family. He's italian. Yeah, his name is like david chianigla. Yeah Yeah, he's uh, he's quite the fucking character. So no michael imperiali. No, no, this is all On joe, you're perfect for that. That's gonna that's gonna launch. This is 1966 Ah, wow. So uncle junior was younger. Yeah junior is younger. Yeah, anthony's a kid

Dude, you're in. Yeah. No, I really and I really I like me and my age right now I got the podcast. I got my daughter I like going to the store twice a week Like this week I go down I went down last night and I'll go down sadly and sunday but I don't I'm not big on the tv and film no more

Especially after doing the podcast and doing this with your own rules and your own beliefs It's pretty much to go on anymore. Yeah scripty come up to me and say the word is the Not the and you're like, you know, come here Nobody's gonna watch this show. I want to be fucking a thot in this. Can you understand that? Nobody wants you to show Yeah, exactly. Okay. Nobody's gonna come up to me on the train and go Hey, I saw you on this show on mbc. It's gonna happen. Does it matter whatever it's about? Yeah, so every time they come up to me, they just take the fucking gana away from me. Yeah If I do something it's because I really want to do it. Yeah, you're gonna shoot me out first in the morning

But it was different with chase me fucking lurking around on a fucking day like a mook on a tv show Shoot me out like tracy morgan before I start me too and bitches. Yeah Okay, so what do you want to have with me too? Kai ka fucking campaign. Yeah, or me getting the fuck out of here at 12. Just shoot me and call those out I don't know what the fuck about that. These people will pay to stick around for 12 hours. Do you want the best of me? Yeah, 58 57 or 57 your testosterone. Oh, yeah, I don't have time. You're not gonna catch me here. Yeah, I'm gonna go out there I'm not gonna want to be here. I know myself. I lose the energy. Yeah, so if it's something like that. Yes

I'm in the monsters remake. I'm grandpa. Yeah, you know when uh, when uh she starts Say hi, she's shot the sopranos. Mm-hmm. Her scenes were all done in one day. Oh, wow. Okay. That's what she negotiated Lorraine brocco. So I come in Tuesdays. I'll shoot Lorraine brocco. I'll shoot six to fucking Two in the morning. I don't give a fuck. I'll shoot 25 hours straight. Yeah, but I want to do it in one day That it's something that I would interest me. Yeah, I don't want to lurk for four 12 hour days. Yeah, we got the girls Yeah, when you're gonna be girls, you got to be home for dinner. Yeah, you got to be home talking with their homework You got to be home to help them bathe. Yeah, you got to be home to talk to them

If not, they're gonna bump into some fucking guy big rom yoga. Yeah, exactly. You know, they suck at that fucking hummus dick Yeah, and you don't want that all because you shot four days All before you shot for 12 hour days For a little bit of change that if you really because it's not like they're paying What they were paying when you and I got here. Yeah, they're not even paying close to that shit. No, you know So it's not really one of my things anymore. Yeah, it used to be I loved acting. I loved movies Yeah, but now Who's gonna see you in a movie? Yeah, so any one of the mark maren and

Brian Cowan said anything really That the needle move after the Joker I mean the best movie of the year the needle should have moved a little bit. Yeah, you should have gone from selling The improv out maybe two weeks at the improv or maybe an extra wednesday. You know saying that those days are done Yeah, those days are done. But uh What are you gonna do? We just keep plugging brother. Yeah, I uh, whatever comes my way stay creative Really work on this movie finish this thing Uh, do some more stand-up. I'm doing some sets to prepare for the ha festival and the hbo max thing

I'm doing seven to eight minutes and we talked about it I'm called read at the improv because I don't want to just rest at flappers and where I'm comfortable really Try to make sure things are funny and uh, we'll see what comes from that But I remember I was offered a possibility of doing an hour special or whatever special And I was on the table for it and I said if I get it, it's fine. If not, that's fine. I'm fine either way An hour's a long fucking long journey when you haven't been writing for sure Oh, yeah, and you got to go out every night and have one of your friends with you Yeah, and give him a couple dollars to yeah guide you along the way

But they can find you on carlos ells rocky dot com carlos ells rocky dot com on twitter at carlos ells rocky instagram Carlos ells rocky as well even on tiktok. I do some videos for the casa grandes which i'm doing for nicolodian and uh Yeah, I'll be uh rudy morano actually he just uh, I guess he's made it public. He had a heart attack And he's uh allowed me to do a set on an all-woman show on the 8th Which is uh tomorrow night in pasadena with joe michelle meleon and a couple of great female comics And I'll be out flappers on the 18th doing eight o'clock 10 o'clock guest spots in burbank Um, and then I'll just be everywhere. Yeah, and then I do my Stephanie miller radio show once a week

You still do it. I still do it once a week. I wake up at 4 30 6 to 9. Yeah, good for her. I hosted this last time Carlos has been a real honor to have you on. Yeah. You're just not uh I don't understand if you know how real you are now. Oh, thanks. What an impact you've had on my career and uh You're just a great guy. You deserve every all the success that you got. I'm happy for the quip shown Yeah, we'll have you on here for the premiere. Yeah, let's do it And when witness infection comes out, we'll do the same. We'll talk. We'll do the same and I'll get bread on Yeah, oh, that's great. That's great. He's a fucking guy. That's him. He called me a couple weeks ago with his fucking mother in the car

Yeah, and we just went at it because his mother knows the same people, you know, his mother grew up. I grew up in jersey guys Yes, my wife's a jersey. She knows the whole fucking deal the month the mother knows that jimmy hoffa was buried Yeah, she's 12 minutes late for my burial. Yeah Well, thank you very much for coming on do not forget go to carl'slottlesrocky.com And check out when he comes to your town whether to do comedy or whether it's just a one of a con Let's say you're a fucking big time. Reno 911 go down there. Say hello Tell him that you heard of him on here and he'll fucking give you an extra autograph. All right. Yeah Listen, I want to give a shout out to my sponsors who are the best like I told you earlier

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You'd go to zip recruiter for free at this exclusive address zip recruiter dot com Slash church. Show you what was that zip recruiter dot com Slash church zip recruiter the smartest way to hire. I want to thank zip recruiter I want to thank stamps dot com and I want to thank cbd lion Most importantly, I want to thank carlos lilas rocky my brother And the christ killer coming at you for the spanish people listen. Uh, happy christmas today's we celebrate we fucking We uh cubans today's the three wise men. Yeah, so you have to fucking uh for good luck. We're like the jews. We gotta fucking Give somebody a little money. There you go

sushi happy hour If I find out you're fucking don't go to happy hour at sushi tan. I want you there at three I'll leave right now. Don't blow that on a chicken a box. I'm taking that fucking money back. I suck That's how I roll. It's cuban christmas today. Give somebody your love at 20 Feliz navidad. Go on your release navidad. Today's the day when the three guys showed up In cuba. So today's an extra christmas. So when you're cuban your parents test you like you were good all year, bitch Let's see how you're gonna act from christmas to the seven. Yeah, because that's when you get all your shit Now you don't need me no more

Playing overtime. So my mom gave you cash So after christmas, I had to still keep it under control for a few days Once the seventh came then go fuck yourself. Why ain't sweeping the garage? You know what i'm saying? But under six you should have seen me sweeping mopping. Yep Painting after that you could suck my dick shovel the fucking driveway yourself. Take an aspirin bitch. Anyway, don't forget Next week fox theater and bakersfield friday night saturday night tower in fresno And then we just out of the second show at the tabernacle theater in atlanta, georgia on the 25th of january Presuper bowl motherfuckers. I'll see you there. Listen. I want to thank carlos again

Go to carlosallisrocky.com I want to thank the flying fucking jew aka the christ killer But most importantly, I want to thank you guys for being fucking savages And for always giving us love Happy new year. Have a great first week and we'll see you motherfuckers next monday tip top magoo Ready to go wash your ass. I was cock sucking. It's gonna be a good year. Thank you again, carlos. Thank you, joey bow Have a great first week have a great first week

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Name of the day Name of the day And I'm too tired And I'm tired And I'm too tired And I am tired And I'm too tired And I'm too tired

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