Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #751 - Tom Rhodes

Episode Date: January 13, 2020

Tom Rhodes, a stand up comedian for more than 30 years and the host of the "Tom Rhodes Radio," podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: MyBookie.ag -  Use code promo Church to get a 50% match on your first deposit up to $1,000.    ForHims- Go to ForHims.com/joey to get your first month free.   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout.

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They know music no more. They won't let us on Spotify without music. Here's my man Tom Rhodes I got the Christ killer. It's Monday morning The fuck you want from me. How are you Joey? How are you my brother? My brother great time at the county store Saturday night. Oh my god. That was probably one of the best lineups It's me. I think that's probably one of the best sets. I've ever done in the comedy story I crushed it one five and then Neil Brennan Neil Brennan. Oh my god He's got like so much brilliant new material about that dude's a writer and a half You know, it's it's impressive to see, you know, how he turns it over in his thought process

You know, it's a lot of philosophy and social commentary. Just absolutely brilliant Did you hang out for the rest of the night though? Yeah a little bit and I watched your set you crushed it You're doing new material. I've never seen you do before you got to try it I love it. You know, that's the exciting thing about playing there. It's like you see the best of the best And it makes you want to raise your game, you know That's why I kept going there because you see what other guys are doing. You're like, I gotta I got that's how hard I got to be working So it's a constant rotation. Fuck work. Well, how's life?

Good man, and I did a show last Wednesday in Palm Springs for some old white people I don't know why I took this gig and I ate one of the biggest shit sandwiches I've eaten in and quite a few years and You know, they just said don't do any political stuff. So I was like, okay, cool but apparently some of my like regular jokes were too hard for these people and So that said I did at the comedy store on Saturday You know, like if you have like a bad set as a comedian It just stays in your head and you can't erase it until you crush it

So like I was washing that stink off me on that stage every joke that killed I was just getting in the crevices and was it a private. Uh, yeah, I was just I guess It was just a gig that I had no business being a part of Did the promoter make a bad call on me? Uh, yeah Happens in those gigs. I like I don't take privates It wasn't a private gig. I don't do private gigs either and I noticed, you know, I don't do cruise ships I don't do I don't want to play anywhere where there's Old white people that are gonna get upset by anything, you know, well, that's everywhere. Yeah, that's everywhere. Yeah, that you know people are going out

people are going out with whatever but It has slowed down a little bit over the last couple weeks Thank God for Ricky Gervais Going off Sunday night to let people know that you still got a voice. Okay, we still got a voice You know what if they want to cancel your TV show, we don't have one If they want to cancel my Twitter account, I'll keep telling jokes, right? You know, so we're in a society right now that we're not gonna stop the comedy store is not gonna shut down, right? You know, the other clubs are gonna shut down. So

You have to say what that's what comedy is. It's the truth It's the truth. So that's what what are you scared of hearing the fucking comedy is a dark room where adults go to hear the Uncomfortable truths the truth. Yeah, you know when I saw those people at the whatever the Grammys the golden globes They were fucking moving in that chair. That means the comic did his job That means the comic did his job and the people that had a sense of humor They were laughing. They didn't give a fuck. Yeah, you know, it's it's what happens is you're at a table with six guys Tom Hanks is at that table. I'm not allowed to laugh. Fuck you Tom Hanks that long had a you

Wasn't tall enough to write the time he spent in that amusement park. Yeah, he's not tall enough to write the right Felicity Hoffman license plate. All right, so funny. That's brilliant shit. And then at the end he said something that You want to tell people every day and you can't because that's how I know I live my life I know that half of these people walk around with one foot in and one foot out and They're they brag to you about the one foot in About how good of people they are. They donate the fucking this they do this, but then they have this other leg in this fucking Destruction mode where you know their employees are jumping out fucking windows You know fucking the line about ice is having a streaming service. Yeah, and you know what and then that line

What was the Jeffrey Epstein line? That was funny, too. Oh So no, he said he said something about and did he was talking about his I think you're on private plane, but look what even the fucking ISIS line The ISIS line is a joke, but do you people listening at the house? It's not a joke these people either scab off a dog's knee They don't give a fuck They really don't give a fuck. You know He made a Harvey Weinstein joke or something

There's this that was it. He said it was like something about Harvey Weinstein and the Jeffrey Epstein wasn't what Epstein was He said that he said that he'd rather be this is the last time he's doing it That you'd much rather be watching that Netflix is everybody's talking everybody's streaming television Dead movies that everybody's streaming everybody's talking about Netflix that his show is on Netflix about a guy Who's thinking it killed himself after his wife dies of cancer? He goes spoiler. He doesn't kill himself Just like Jeffrey Epstein. Oh, that was it. And he goes, oh, I know I know he was your friend. I don't care You had to get your own flight here tonight And that's the truth, you know listen even in comedy

Okay, you were around for Kenison. Oh, we're not I was a kid. I mean I was in high school And I okay, okay, so you weren't I went and saw no no no, but I saw Kenison when I was 16 I was such a fan. I bought a ticket by myself I went to the Tupperware Theater in Orlando and sat there and watched it but my point is that If you knew Kenison like I didn't know Kenison, but I see it now in smaller scales There's always that one rich guy at the comedy store That's his parents are filthy rich

Nobody knows about it. He just goes up there And since his comedy isn't up to par he becomes something else He has to lure them in with something else, you know And when you could see that Jeffrey Epstein Was just one of those guys that hobnob against big-time people and then I'll take my jet come to my island You know, it became like a fucking joke. There's people like that that creep into your circle and They're called what are those people that if you eat cake they give you a cake

What those enablers they're really like fucking enables like you know And it was weird that when he said he struck a quarter of those people Jeffrey Epstein would be at all those parties mingling They all knew what the fuck he was, you know They all knew what was going on when Harvey Weinstein when he was doing they all know But they didn't give a fuck nobody raised their fucking hand We live in a town where if we raise our hand we lose our career We care more about our pocket, but we you don't think anybody knew Jeff

Harvey Weinstein was fucking broad to get his dick suck for movies You're gonna look me in the face and say that you know those particular type of guys They're like frat boardy guys that you go to their parties and their girlfriends are there But they're in a circle on their own talking about the chicks they're banging on the side and all that shit That's what those Jeffrey Epstein parties were as soon as you walked in Jeffrey put his honor on you right in front of your wife Walk your way and go excuse me at least just talk to him and you and she's like oh Aren't I impressed and also he's like wait. Do you see the 16 year old pussy? I got waiting for you in the back today. I knew guys like that. I didn't hang out with them

Because of those reasons, but I know people like that. Do they just creep? That's how they got cool You know invite a bunch of 40 year old was to fuck a bunch of 18 year old Who makes you cooler than that? If I called you right now, I said come over to the house And you came over to my house that 318 year olds in the back with a couple lines of coke and All of a sudden you get there and you're like who are they and they're like we're gonna be in Joey's new movie There ain't no movie What movie you talking you look at me like really? Yeah, we're talking to Leonardo DiCaprio right now as we speak and they're like Oh, we're gonna work with Leo

Come on do a line take the top slow. Let's get the party started. That's what it is You're gonna tell me you didn't know about those parties You don't look me in the Matt Damon didn't know about those Brad Pitt didn't know about those Leonardo DiCaprio didn't know about those. I'm not mad at them I would have probably gone to those two or Taking the $20 million for the movie what you know I'm saying so what's we live in a in the worst, you know I used to love to call I'll tell you guy

Mark Babbitt because we I love that and Babbitt weren't you and I together you and I met because Babbitt booked us together But I got into a point with Babbitt where I would just call him to say hello And I would get off the phone I would never ask him for work Because I always wanted people Even today in comedy. There's a guy that gave me my first Wednesday in Brea His name is Dan He's out of an improv organization, but guess what I still call him once a month Because I know no other comedians call that guy. Yeah once you're you're out of a position to put money in my pocket

We don't need you no more. I think that's a horrible. I think whoever Whoever raised you did a bad job. Yeah, I think that and I don't do that with people Even after somebody leaves a club if they took care of me, I try to call him once a fucking year I still call the the bowler from San Jose. They used to have a manager on the weekends He was a professional bowler. He just gave up moved to Vegas I still check in with him once a year to let him know that all those spots he gave me were in in vain Well, I told you before we started recording, you know like a year ago at this time. I was going through my divorce I just broken up my wife and I just broken up and you're one of the few friends that called me

Like every week. How you doing? You're not thinking about drinking are you? You know and I tell you it was just a couple of friends that reached out to me into that period when I was in the toilet Emotionally, nobody knows. I've never had to doubt your friendship since the day we met nobody knows about divorce until you've gone through divorce Nobody knows about losing a cat. Do you've gone to losing a cat? Nobody knows what it goes through to losing a parent who you lose a parent So you become empathetic So as soon as somebody says to you even if you fucking hate that person Tom Rhodes somebody comes to you and says that person lost their mother

Changes everything you will call that person go a whatever problem we have between us It's over for right now. I'm calling you to tell you. I'm really sorry about your mother That's funny. I did that with with Louis CK a few months ago And I didn't talk to the guy in years and I heard his mom died I sent him a message and we traded some texts, you know, it's amazing that people Once you get written off in this town you get written off and I don't like that Because my friends never wrote me up Even when I was doing fucking time that ever wrote me up, but that's something that's taught

That's something that's taught to people from you that comes from above. You know I'm saying Here like I said, you work with a comedy guy comedy gaitation, you know, you look at Ronda Rousey's rise I heard there was a guy that went around the Rousey. I'm not sure it is or not and took pictures of her and Helped her and promoted her and for her first manager, right? Her first manager did all this shit and one day she fired them with a text message. Well on one the career is over Yes, she might be wrestling and she might be rich But she's got that stink that somebody genuinely tried to help her and he's she spit in his face That stink stays with you for a long time. That spit comes back to haunt you

Later on so somebody went out of their way to get you started Three yards came along and you dumped that guy signed with three yards and that's it people do that in this town all the time Then they don't realize, you know It's so weird how I got into comedy to fucking Do comedy by ended up becoming a man? By comedy because comedy was like my religious belief and helped me become a command That's how I feel comedy is my religion and it's my religion. It's my religion. Yeah, it's my religion and it's who You know and I tell people all the time. It's not like me and Rogan talk every day about stupid shit

We don't we really don't 22 years, but when him and I get together we just talk about the dynamic which is comedy What he's been doing. What's not working, you know, how he's been doing it differently There's a whole science to it and even if our friendship is connected by that That alone right there, you know like that bond we have you and I have since day one But I was talking about Babbit. I remember one day Babbit calling me back and going hey Don't you want to work a week in my club? And I go yeah, but we'll get to that when it's time because it was I treated bookers like girls I Treated bookers like you would treat a woman that wants you you don't chase a woman that wants you you give them a little bit

Then you pull back and see what the piece is for and they'll come to you like fucking a pigeon comes to a fucking little worm Because you know, it's like when you walk into a room and there's a hot chick there and you don't react to But 20 guys reacted to it that chick isn't concerned about the 20 guys that reacted to her She's concerned about why Tom Rhodes didn't look my way Not the Tom Rhodes means anything, but that guy didn't look my way. Do you know I'm saying mm-hmm like that guy didn't go Wow, look at your tits. He just walked right past you said go fuck you so you got to these just like everybody else You dumb fuck so it's so weird how that works with comedy bookings like and just Friendships and how you have to work book is relationships sometimes just calm up. Hey, what's going on? Nothing?

well, like what you said about you know comedy taught you'd be a man and You know, you're empathetic. You're a great friend. You know, I've never had to doubt your friendship. I Had an incredible thing happen to me You know a year ago at this time my wife moved out New Year's Eve last year not this one that just passed so Last December was really rough I took my mom to Israel at the beginning of December last year and then I was home for the holidays in Orlando And I was flying back to Los Angeles on Christmas Eve

my flight was at 7 a.m. From the Orlando Airport and I'm checking in. I'm the first person in line. There's people with the the Delta agents and this guy comes up to me and he says Can my family and I cut in front of you my brother just committed suicide We have to get to Hawaii and I turned around and I just saw this family destroyed They were just they were just crying and the dad could barely stand up. His name is Dean. He's a fan of yours. Hello Dean and Well, I I knew that feeling when my sister died of cancer I I Didn't know a human being could cry that much. I had like I would hyperventilating crying

I would be exhausted from crying so much physically exhausted where I couldn't even stand up and I saw this family And I let him go through and it just like put everything into perspective for me. I'm going through a divorce I thought I was having a hard time feeling all sorry for myself I'll never be loved again, and I see this family and I knew instantly what I know that feeling I've been there and I Realized going through a divorce Isn't the worst level of pain you could experience and I wouldn't even classify it as pain. It's it's an inconvenience So I talked about it on my podcast and this friend of mine that I grew up with guy I played baseball with Chuck bowman

Who son is a fan of yours who listens to this show? He he contacted me and said hey man. I know that family they the The the the some was a soldier, you know, he had PTSD In and he's I know these people so through my buddy Chuck. I got in touch with this family with the dad So last year over the course of a year We've we've traded emails and stuff and then when I was just home at Christmas in Orlando or O Vito I went and met this family and it's a year later. They're doing much better. I mean, you'll never recover from something like that I know I'll never get over my dad and my sister's death. There's just degrees of better as time goes on

But like I feel bonded to these people like I feel like they're my my brothers. I feel related to these people, you know Just because we I feel like I somehow was in on this Private family moment that Was probably the worst day of their lives. I know the day my sister died was the worst day of my life You know, it's so funny how I get emails and I text what I text with them the dad and the son you still do Yeah, I mean, I just met him. Yeah, I mean, I feel closer to these two guys than I do my own brothers who are morons You know, so like I feel I feel blessed to know these people and they were all military people. They've all served You know, I'm from O Vito, Florida. I graduated in 85 the dean the father he graduated from O Vito in

1974 when I was there, it was like a small citrus farming village It was one traffic light and the tractor crossing, you know, so I couldn't imagine no veto. Oh veto, Florida. It's like 17 miles east of Orlando So it was a citrus farming town and then Orlando expanded. They built a circular highway around Orlando and now it's kind of like a highway exit There's a target in the chilies and all that other Suburban suburban American shit. Yeah, it's really funny how we You meet people on the road sometimes you're shocked you also you hear little stories on the road like I'm probably In my phone, I probably have 20 people who I keep in touch it from the road. They just touch you

Sometimes the road could be a fucking lonely place and somebody just talks to you from just talks to you not even from a Comedy perspective and then they find out later. You're a comic and we get to talk and they go all my uncle likes you Or whatever the fuck it is and you have this relationship with them for life, you know Yeah, you know, I have the Lingus in Chicago Bobby Sharon in Texas You know, you meet these people and it adds so much pizzazz, you know, oaky spooky in Texas You know, she's got my back and you got all these different people that we've met Through the years even through this fucking funny thing called the podcast and these wires Yeah, you know, and it's just it teaches you a different degree of

Even on the internet teaches you a different degree of of empathy, you know, I Would hate to go like I felt when my cat died I felt bad and I read I really wanted to write something about soup bad And put them up and the reach was overwhelming, you know, people get it People get that that one line You know, I believe that you have to make somebody's day every day That's that's the key to life if you want a great life Forget about giving somebody money or sucking somebody's asshole. It's just making somebody smile once a day a call Just making somebody's day, whatever it could be

Whatever it could be given some I even I instill it in my daughter That's the most important thing of your day is making somebody's day and everything else falls into play I always say it's it's so easy to to change somebody's life for the better You know, like I when I I see like more famous comedians and like their fans will come on them, you know And they'll be like Give them the cold shoulder and stuff. I always find that In gratitude Well, there's there's two types of walking up on somebody also. This is there's 20 different

We could go on 20 different things according to that because Years ago when we were kids, there was a thing with George Michael George Michael went on public record and said leave me the fuck alone. I don't want to talk to nobody don't fucking say hello You know, just don't fucking say hello to me. I was a George Michael fan That by his music I didn't buy his music. I like the videos, you know That's what you get all that shit with the models and stuff, but I felt that I Felt it to be rude

Yeah, I felt it to be rude. I felt it to even be rude. Okay, so let's say you're not coming Let's say I have a TV show Let's say I was not a stand-up comic and I have a TV show and Every week you can take a half hour of your life to watch the show. I Could give you a minute out of my life to say hello. How you doing? Whatever. There's a thin line But there's a thin line How are you? We're stuck in another way that hey that episode about whatever really hit home with me. I just lost my mother. Okay

That's where it ends That's great. I love I love people coming to the shows and I love talking to people after the shows It's the expectations You know, I can't be at a restaurant with my daughter and you come up to me and say it's Blue cheese with wings to go fuck your mother in front of my daughter It's happened. Oh, well, it's happened. You know You can't manhandle me You know I'm saying like come up to me with six guys and go. Yo you motherfucker. I can't

Deal with that. There's always a place and a time for everything and you have to decide as a human being What's more important? Do I go up to Tom Rhodes who I'm a fan of at the airport online? With 200 people waiting before you board a plane Can I just come up to you and go Tom's? I love what you do Yeah, I heard John Whitney Cummings podcast that shit was funny or you come up to me at 6 a.m When I'm half-mama five for the night before and want to ask me about episode 648 of Joe Rogan when I quoted that Ruben blades is gonna beat up

Chichi Ramirez in a game of fucking ping-pong and then they want to ask you for a picture on the line There's 200 people here. You're gonna blow up my fucking shit in front of 200 people at 6 in the morning When you know, I'm a fucking stoner. You know, I'm high as a kite You know, I'm gonna get uncomfortable. You know I'm saying. Yeah, you know when I when I so many people That's the type of shit that bothers me Then you go to the shows You go to these shows and you pull up around the back and there's these six geeks With everything you ever did print it out print it out

You sign it so you they can sell it on eBay. Yeah, and I'm supposed to feel bad You know I'm saying like that's a different level of me feeling bad I really don't mind giving them an autograph for two. Hey, everybody needs a dollar But these guys will sit there And just keep saying can you sign this can you sign this can you sign if you sign one you got to sign 20 You know before a show last night when you're at the comedy store Tom Rhodes is on stage Tom Rhodes is doing his best. I moved two feet over

Can I get a picture? I can't give you a picture because you're disrupting. I'm disrespecting Tom Rhodes If I walk through a fucking if I'm doing The improv embrace And the show starts and Lee's hosting And I walk out into the front and a guy grabs me while Lee's on stage and he goes Can I get a picture and I take a picture that's disrespectful to Lee even if I'm the headliner That's Lee's 15 minutes

Who the fuck am I to take a picture in the showroom when Lee's on stage? so there's different degrees of Of everything you as the fan or my family member if I call I mean that's showmanship Like even when like a comedian will get off stage and then start talking with someone loudly in the back I want to fucking smack him in the mouth. Yeah, I hate that. I want to smack him in the mouth Take the comic and take him downstairs and go around the fucking bed And yeah at the comedy store we get loud in the hallway sometimes We go off in the hallway sometimes, you know, whatever

I catch myself and I try to keep a little tame You want respect you have to give respect in this world And when it comes to pictures and all that shit at restaurants and whatever You know, I've had people pay for meals for me And I'll get up and walk over to the table Shake their hand hug them take a picture And then I'll get the fuck out of there But don't come over to my table yelling and screaming

When I have my wife and my kids there, right? It's just there's always a fine line that you As the human being has to decide on You don't know how many times I've seen somebody who blows me out of the water like a an actor or something The last thing on my mind is asking for a picture I was on an elevator with Lou Reed once and I love Lou Reed Love him, yeah And I think that

1989 album new york I think probably saved my life when I was living in new york that year and struggling and everything And I was on an elevator with him once and I'm such a fan Didn't say a word to him didn't say where didn't bother him Let him enjoy his 16 floors in silence. Sometimes a wink is as good as a nod to a blind horse You know why I have that faces out why? Be like everybody else Be original

Put your hand on say I really like what you do man. Yeah, and sometimes they won't put their hand out And now you just learned about the guy You learned where he really stands, you know, I've been a thousand people that put my hand on they'll put their hand That's the end of the conversation I don't even want a fucking picture because we're at the fucking airport Because we're at a restaurant because you know what I'm saying? Yeah, if not now, I'm gonna have 10 other people come to take pictures of you I remember so six years six years ago january 1st

This year was when um, I blacked out and busted my head open in philadelphia and and I haven't drank alcohol since then and um, you know, there was like two years after my dad and my sister died Where I had stopped drinking for pleasure and I really started to get that alcoholic white guy booze face with the bulbous nose and everything and When I busted my head open in philadelphia, I just so wasted I blacked out and fell off this barstool like a tree busted my head open on its outfloor had to go to the emergency room Um, and I got I got six stitches on my forehead and I had a black eye And I had to do this morning radio show the next morning

Um, and I I had to go I had like I got out of the emergency room I had time to go to my hotel for like Probably 30 minutes before I had to go straight to this radio show and um, I I I looked Like a train wreck and this girl who worked on the show she goes I'm a fan Can I take a pic can we have a picture together and I said I would take a picture with you any day But today

I just can't do it today I had the fucking frankenstein stitches and a black eye and you know, I just had like this, you know, uh huge, um, you know revelation in my life that um, I needed to fucking dial it back on the drugs and alcohol, you know and Not the day for a picture now this It's just really weird how the whole picture thing has

I don't want I was a little upset a couple weeks ago. I played a club and they charged $10 for pictures What and I found out afterward no club was and I had that I don't want to embarrass And I had 800 people there and you know, usually I like taking pictures of people to one show I was like, why are people taking pictures because they're charging 10 bucks for a picture Jesus, so it kind of picks me off, you know, if it's in between if I have two shows well people Seemed under Fluffy got a lot of heat for this

Gabriel because Gabriel stopped going out in between shows He realized after 15 years it took too much energy from him to do the two shows once you talk to A thousand people then you got a rest for 10 minutes and then go back up there and do it all over again It's kind of tough. I that's why this year. I'm cutting down on only one shows and theaters So I could get back out there and talk to the people. I don't want to smoke power yet I want to shoot heroin with you, but I want to take a picture. You know, see what's on your mind You know, I've always enjoyed that me and new people seeing what's on their mind and I normally don't like going back but I

Something that you guys were talking about at the beginning where if you go through a divorce or you go through a death It's hard and and the thing that struck me was how it's Like it's it's always when you lose something has going through those things helped you Live more in the moment Like to like appreciate stuff while you have it I mean it realized you realize your own mortality when you lose family members I mean every life just seems like this endless ribbon that keeps on flowing and then um

I mean, nobody's prepared to lose a parent or a child. Um, it definitely And then like I it still took me a couple years like when I busted my head open I realized that, you know, I was put on this earth to do great things And the best way I could honor the memory of my father and my sister Was by being the greatest comedian and greatest human being that I could possibly be, you know So I think it definitely Sharpened the lens focus in that regard, you know, I tell you when people when I see somebody

On social media and I lost my parents or whatever or somebody'll hit me up and say I lost the parents It hurts and I go listen. You want to ease the pain? Here it is Become the man or a woman that they wanted you to be. Yeah If you become the man or woman they wanted you to be The pain will disappear. It I'm lying to you. It never disappears. That's true. But I think you do to a degree You're absolutely right. It softens. Yeah, because you'll never you'll never get over something like that. I just celebrated my mother's 40th 40 years ago. We buried in November race. Well, and Honestly, it didn't hurt as much as I thought it would hurt

But pain plays with you Pain plays with you pain hits you when you least expect that's like a toothache You know what I'm saying? It's It's it's so it didn't hit me that whole week. I thought about it. I lit a candle. I prayed for her I thought about the night she died how Fuck that was 40 fucking years ago But then I realized something else. I made it 40 years without her I didn't

The day I buried her I'm like I got about a year before I can make it without her So I proved myself wrong. It was such a fucking That's where the power comes from You know, there's a song by Lionel Richie called I think he did it with the common laws It opens up it's a piano thing and he says a salon Salon and That's a piano opening a morning's just a moment away

But I'm with you once again You laughed at me You said you never needed me I wonder if you need me now it's it's it's it's It is the most gorgeous words you can hear in the beginning of a song. It's a it's a piano thing just a piano And he and I remember that Every time that I hear that song I think about the emptiness had in my stomach when my mother died

When I first got divorced When I first got divorced And you wake up in the morning and you're used to seeing that person next to you It really does something to you. Yeah, man. Now like this time last year I spent um Most days alone in my apartment crying. Yeah, and then my friend Joey Diaz called. Hey Hey, Joey, how are you man? It's uh, you know, I I still remember waking up

And just hearing that song You know, here I am a morning again, and I'm without you once again You know opening the day with that line brushing your teeth jumping in the shower And eventually the the song went away After like four years. I didn't hear the song in my head anymore, but it's just so You know, and I and I also think pain piggybacks pain So if you lose a sister in 2009 And just as you're starting to get over it, you lose your father in 211

Yeah the other way around but that's exactly what it's like taking the scab off the the thing I hadn't gotten over the death of my father. Yeah, you know, you didn't even get off of this I didn't think I could handle that and then fucking my uh, darling little sister. I'll tell you a thing I don't look at it very much. I think that's cool. Like that song gave you strength um You know the song the two pox song dear mama always helps me If you can make it through tonight, there's a bright a day I fucking love that song

But an odd thing I don't look at it too much anymore When sometimes the website sticks But and I don't know I read about this some I think I was in england. I read about this Uh, it's a website called morning breakfast radio dot com and What they do on the website there's a picture of the globe And it shows where the sun is rising all around the world And it says the sun is always rising somewhere and what this website does it's a radio thing

And it'll grab a half hour snippets of morning radio shows or morning radio from all over the world um So like you could look at it any time of the day like right now the sun is probably rising in in uh in australia or africa And you go on there and you'll hear like I one day like one sunday I listened to like a garden show in perth australia another time I listened to like, uh I listened to it roll across africa one one one day and It's cool, man. And it's like it's like a half hour

Like because all these radio stations are streaming online now So I don't know how they have it set up, but it grabbed so I always thought like if you're like in a really dark fucked up place It's a good concept to to remember that You know, it might be dark where you are right now, but the sun is is rising somewhere In the world. I know that's kind of cheesy, but when you're in the toilet going through some difficult shit It's good to remember that you know and tahiti people are going to work right now or You know fucking morocco. They're starting to You know bang out the pita bread

Lee's question before was interesting because he goes Does it put things into perspective? Yes, it does Yes, it does You know next sunday night They're having a thing at the store for brody. Oh, yeah, I'm gonna go to that. Uh You take a guy like brody Okay, whether you were tight with brody Or you weren't tight with brody. You didn't care for bro. You you love bro. You like I did

You look at a guy like brody You wake up at eight in the morning You got all the opportunities in the world But you tend to turn the fucking tv on And sit there though too in the afternoon Go fucking wake brody up and ask him if he had the chance if he'd wake up at nine And sit in front of the tv till two o'clock go ask him With what he just saw the love and response he saw from heaven or wherever the fuck he is

That's everything that goes backwards put something into perspective for you Because you go I could be doing something You know in the in the cuban culture on monday's We lie the candle for the people and I have a spirit altar Of all the friends I have that are gone whether it's carmine balzano, whether it's thomic speciale Anthony balzano, kurti lorenzo, rago I had a picture of all those friends of my my mother my father

My friend's kid I had a friend who her daughter was in the graduate on them on a saturday and got killed in a drunk crash on a thursday They sent me the invite to the party I got the invite as they were burying this girl So I've always had her picture up and my point is every monday before the fucking day starts Before I do anything I change water for them. I lie the candle for them as I'm putting the glasses of water I say today. I'm gonna live for you. Well this week. I'm gonna live for you

I look at I have a friend of the bodybuilder friend of mine that all I gotta do is look up And there he is with three cats that are friends of mine two of those guys are dead Two of those guys together were dead One of them from drug both of them from drugs You know and I sit there and I look at them and I go today. I gotta live for them For what they couldn't do How lucky am I that I get the opportunity and I did as many drugs as they did In fact, I was with them a lot of nights

How lucky am I that I'm getting the opportunity to go do what I need to do today, but they're gone So for today, I'm gonna do it for them That's cool. You remember that movie Coco that came out a couple years ago about the day of the dead that animated I loved that movie and the whole thing about the photos of deceased people that you love So because of that movie I saw that I only saw it like last year sometime I took the all these great photos I have of my dad and my sister and I made like I wouldn't call it a shrine But I mean I put them on this little wall Next to my kitchen where my counter is where like, you know, I put my keys and all my

Business, I gotta take care of it right there before you leave the house see them every day them before you leave every day And you see them when you come in and you tap your hand on the table It gives me I don't know. I just gives you peace inner peace Peace and power and it reminds me Fucking you know make the most out of your life today not to forget about those people But he had had the picture up by midnight or they were going to take them somewhere else So he couldn't cross the bridge. Yeah, that's what it was Coco that they couldn't cross the bridge I'm watching this and I love that. I took my daughter. I love she's loving it

But I'm seeing it from a adult adult perspective that I live under that rule I live under that rule for me to have light. I have to give light to the people before me I think about my father every day that poor bastard I think about my mother how the fuck she blew her life with alcohol And betting on the Mets, you know Who the fuck bets on the Mets? You deserve to die And that's my mother I'm 86. That was a good bet. Yeah, I'm like Geno. She she she went down the claims in 73 She went down in that flame with Pete Rose and the Cincinnati Reds

Went to new york and Pete Rose ended up beating up buddha But harrelson that took her for a fucking life that time So it's just uh You know you you look at those people leaving you go. I'm living for that motherfucker. Tell you know Josh Adam Mice is going to be on on wednesday Josh Adam Mice is uh, is a nice kid. I really like him, you know We're not super tight But you know why I love the fuck out of him the survivor because he dedicated his his life change when angelo died

Who's angelo angelo was his best friend Well, and hey the nine years ago, I guess we're in the car together Yeah, there were no they were open micers together and a drunk driver hit their car Hmm. Okay, and killed angelo and he lived well This kid was on a fucking mission I have to respect somebody like that. Yeah, josh adam Whatever's nice. Myers will always have a good kid. I love his voice. That's such a great voice He'll always have a

A take a chair at my table. Mm-hmm because he did something that a lot of people don't know And I remember when I did his goddamn jam. I pulled him aside and I go Angelo's watching down on your dog. You're making him fucking proud You know, I might be mad at josh adam I was from my respect level Because he turned his life around and said I'm not doing this for me. Yeah, I'm doing this for angelo This is what angelo fucking wanted and there's certain people do that and do it with a fucking word on their chest And you have to respect those people and that's what I've done

That's what might I do a one-man show at the comedy store and that's what the theme is that I'm doing this I did this my mother's will had one of that one Fucking thing for me Yeah, she wanted me to be in the army and she wanted me to be in eternity. That was great But the main thing she wanted me to be was to me a man What does a man do? Is he beat up people? Does he have 50 girlfriends? No, there's a certain way a man are Acts There's a certain way a man presents himself. There's a certain way a man talks about

Or to people that's what she wanted out of me. Well, it took me 50 years to get there, but I got there Yeah, do you understand me took me? I wonder if like if my dad and my sister if they'd have lived if I would still be Fucking up and I don't know, you know, like maybe They died so I could have this life change, you know, I don't know well, you know the thing there's people who let Things go by them and there's people who take every sign and do something with it

God gives you signs every day He gives you stupid fucking signs every day. Well, I say god. I'm lying to you the universe Whoever there's gandhi. Muhammad was the other guy that white people like buddha. No, that's chinese. What's the What's the one? Uh, just tell me Whatever they say roll with it. Everybody's got a philosopher My philosopher's the universe the universe will give you the signs you need Little by little they'll give you the signs and you'll see him miss him and then you'll go fuck He told me two weeks ago

On that sub sign that bum said vote andrew yang. I fucked up You know saying that I went with joe biden. I just voted with andrew yang The black guy in the corner told me you get signs and you see him sometimes in movies with a director Or show you an actor getting a sign from something Just from something, you know Rocky When he goes that night to the arena and he sees that his shorts He says to the promoter. Hey

Look at the fucking shorts. They're wrong. My shorts are red with blue These are blue with red. The promoter looks to them takes a puff off his cigar and he goes Does it really matter? We know you're gonna give him a good fight That little sentence made rocky almost kill apollo green. Yeah, he almost killed him. He almost fucking You know, what's the speech rocky gives and rocky for to doff lungrin at the end? Do you remember tremendous tremendous about how come if two guys can't uh Get together. Why can't our country's our country? Yeah, if I can respect you

You can respect me And then you did a good one at the end of rambo It's a great speech You give the dog everyone at the end of rambo because america if How come america doesn't love it? As you know america doesn't love us as much as we love it You know all those little things made you lead the movie feel like i'm going to beat up a motherfucking spanish, dude I'm gonna go beat up one of them third no third world nation. He's got a new one out

But I really want you to watch it. I want him to make cobra, too The one co-all that remember god loved cobra and he had to match stick that was And yeah, but in that fucking car. He had it was like a 1948 ford. That was god awful. That was a lot of cocaine I think it's his best film somebody gave like a pound of coke and said that's the loans best film and really Oh my god, but no, I do love that movie because he looked so cool and that car was so badass the blonde Whole thing. I just hated that whole thing that whole thing was just Oh, didn't he have his wife in there? Yeah, that's why it was cocaine involved and blow jobs and And asshole leadings and you know, I left him alone

Who knew she was gonna end up with flavor of flavor at that point? Yeah. Yeah, and now she just had a baby Oh, you're kidding me. She's like in her 50s. Yeah, she just had a kid She did something miraculously went to like spain and they got that fucking bullhorn sperm over there Oh I need to take a quick pee. Good. Go take a little fucking pee-pee. See what I'm saying. You need a pee-pee Yeah, we got a great weekend this week. I forgot to tell you guys Me and George Perez will be up in uh, bakersfield Friday night at the fox theater

I think the tower theater is already sold out and then january 25th My friend the nice thieves de somone Will be in atlanta tabernacle theaters for the second show the first shows will also that second shows at 9 30 And there you have it So don't ask me about the fucking dates later because I don't know. I'm lucky. I remember this shit now It's monday the 13th. We're just trying to fucking keep this year together a lot of weird things happen this week in the nfl that was uh No, that's why I tell you motherfuckers. You never see a bookie with a part time job

Nobody expects to see Tennessee beat new england at home. Sorry Lee and then go into fucking baltimore They're too good. I mean you can't smack the fuck out of that. How big that running back here. No, it's too much It's too much So this is why I'm saying to you if you haven't done anything of my book You start having some fun. This might be the weekend for you. I'd say I never bet I mean, uh, it just was never my thing, but there's certain sporting events that you can't avoid I'm nuts about the world cup

so the last world cup, um I bet $100 on france to win and then my mother's from argentina. So I put $100 in argentina and um france won And I won like 600 bucks Couldn't believe it. Would you put the book out of the better way? I was at the mgm Okay, vegas you're still traveling Uh, not as much as I was, you know, I'm doing about only one or two weeks a month on the road um

Uh, I what I just did. I was home in orlando at the improv Uh, I got I'm doing going to europe in june and other than that. I'm just focusing on la in new york And staying in the states. Do you keep your status left this year or do you no? No, actually, uh, this is the last month They send me down to um to platinum. Oh, no Yeah, I just can't do it anymore I'm getting older my body's to be on all these flights. How are you now? I on tuesday, I will be 53 53 this tuesday the tomorrow. Yeah

The 14th. Yeah, happy birthday. Thank you my brother. Have you what do you feel at 53? I'm just curious. What are you? I did something in december that it stayed with me for three days. I did uh I ate Thanksgiving with my family had a great day with them. Got on the red eye Went to fort la. They'll do four shows in miami flew back Sunday and then that Wednesday took another

6am flight to new york. It was a six hour flight Did the town hall the two shows took a train to boston and then blew food back from boston It took me three days to recover. I mean, I still did the podcast I was still a dad. It's hard man, and I still went to the store on a tuesday night. Yeah, but thursday was when I finally felt Like whoo, and I still lifted on monday. I still did all my regular activities It just felt a little bit fucking heavy. Like it was like wow. I'm uh, what do you feel it now? I Two flights a week

Getting to you yet back to back. I mean it is because I've been you know I've been flying so much the last couple years, especially you know, I came out with that new album this Last year called around the world And I recorded it in 24 cities around the world starts in paris ends in jerusalem So really the last couple years I was obsessed with making this album and I was obsessed with hitting that diamond Status on delta which also, you know, my wife decided she didn't want to travel anymore Um, so that kind of was when we you know started to lose our connection and everything

But it takes a lot out on your body. You know, I got back and neck problems and uh um I just can't do it like I used to and Uh, I want to focus and also I did a tour of england last year um I did england ireland and scotland a really great tour and I recorded those shows So I'm going to come out with another album in a couple months. Uh, probably called the honky motherland from uh, from that tour Um, but I mean I've focused so hard on the international stuff for the last however many years

I really want to focus on the states. I'm loving living in los angeles Um, I've got a new girlfriend. Um, she's 25 I'm 53 I never wanted to be the divorce guy with the younger girlfriend, but I'm not complaining And uh, I'm like really happy in my life and I love You know, I uh, you know like we talked about comedy is my religion. It's my political party It's all I give a shit about I don't care about anything else. I'm switching up this year. I'm doing The road till may

I'm doing stand-up till may I got I'm doing an all spanish show. Oh, you told me that I can't believe 17th. I mean, I'll speak english Well, I am here on sunday night two shows seven and nine. Well And in june and july, I'm gonna just do a story teller tour That's it four shows One and a half hours of stories Do you think that'll be your next special? It'll be all stories. No, I just want to switch it up because I'm not I'll shoot myself

Yeah August I've got a san diego date. There's something I want to go see in august The last two weeks of august white travel. I'm not competing with vacations and kids Right, and then september. I got a hit it heavy the first week The soprano movie comes out on the 25th I got a couple dates with joe. You know, I got a Philly that I'll do stand-up again Instead of what I want to do is put what I'm doing now onto a cd

Get it out of the way. That's it. That's it. It's been six months. I'm doing this fucking material adding to it, pa pa pa Let's get rid of it Let's let's down this fucking thing start from scratch this week And then have hopefully 2030 by may Give it a breather again You know, I'm trying to write this one man show which I perform at the store the third

Wednesday of every month I do segments of it because I'm trying to cut it down To two hours in which room belly room I mean this one man show could I gotta come I could keep you there for 22 hours I'll fucking put IVs in everybody And I'll fucking I'll do chappelle I got you know my my life story goes 22 hours in godfrey, but I think an epic story if I take a left turn So what I'm doing is I'm gonna

I'm writing all this shit for this one man show, but obviously I'm not gonna be able to use it I gotta get to the meat and potatoes or this one man show For me to start working it out. I think after the comedy store, I'll pick a little 99 seat theater and and And uh, you know la Something 99 seat right now in Lancashire where we bumped into each other when we went to see the Lenny Bruce Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah that like something like that. Yeah Listen, I'm not looking to break the bank

I'm looking to Artistic expression two different things. Yeah 50 fucking seven years old You know, I vote I wanted I got into this because I like John Leguzamo specials But I bought all of them like I have I have uh, whatever spick of rama on book If they just put out latin for morons, I'm not insulting John Leguzamo, but it's the same shit. He put out 20 years ago Yeah, I'm sure at this point I could put away better one man show up and he's got a studio 54 $200 a ticket I don't even want to charge $200 a ticket. I just want to tell my story of the small

Theater in new york every fucking Tuesday Wednesday Thursday, whatever just to have a little residency I want to do something different man. Yeah, I want to do something outside the box. I love the podcast I'm never gonna not do the podcast because you not having your word out there on a weekly Just hurts you you got to get out there every week and let them know Whatever you're feeling negative positive Whatever the fuck you're feeling because maybe they're feeling the same thing too, you know and you go through it together Through the through a fucking wire. Look at this This is it. Yeah, this is it. I know what you're saying though. I got I've been I think I might have talked to you about this

but I've been um I'm almost finished with this book a band. It was inspired by the around the world album um, and it's all my My relationship to all these different cities around the world and it's my best stories of traveling around the world like almost drowning in thailand. I'm almost finished with um writing about taking my mother my Old jesus freak mother to jerusalem last year that'll probably be the last chapter in the book So sometime later this year. I want to do something like that

Do a an hour one man show that are just my stories of traveling around the world So I want to publish the book first and then do it and like you're saying not I'm not even thinking of um, um Turning it into a moneymaker. I'm thinking of doing it in small little theaters. Just to do something different Just to do what it is. I look I'm 57 february 19th and we got to record these stories for posterity I don't know. I'm doing an audio boom book I am doing an audio book We're just working on the details right now. I'm very excited to do this because there's no Reason for me to have a hardcover book Barnes and Noble, you know Elvis is dead and Barnes and Noble ain't doing that good

Anyway, it was a dream of mine to see a book of me on the shelf, but I'm not a good writer I'm not I don't have the patience to to write I don't know about tv anymore. Yeah, you know, it's got to be the right fucking gig And I'm very happy where I am, you know right now. I'm in the process of I'm trying to raise a seven-year-old girl to get her ready for this fucking Avenue doom that I put around, you know If I knew the world wasn't going to be in this shape, I wouldn't have shot a load of nobody I would have shot a load of the fucking pillow

But uh, you know, you got to get your kids ready for today's world. It's a different fucking world. Yeah That's what I'm trying to do. Tom Rhodes, you know, and it's great that think how many guys we started with and We had long talks with and they told us about this and this these guys are out of the business or Or not not to put anybody down on a cruise ship, you know, or They're doing something completely out of their realm, which they started doing Because now they have to fucking pay a mortgage I'll tell you something being a slave to a mortgage or being a slave to your fucking things you own

That's a horrible way to live. I'd rather fucking live to keep the nut low Keep everybody low. Keep everybody happy and That's it. That's why I'm at this point in my life. I'm just looking you know 70 is the new 50 We got we still have 13 years on this mic. I know I do I know I do there's gonna be pieces of hair falling off

My nose is gonna look like all the Langs You know I'm saying my head's gonna be all fucked up But I'll still be here doing this podcast with an IV on because I don't give a fuck I'll be doing live. I'm about me. Yeah, what you know, I might to pedophile with the voice box You're gonna see a pedophile with a voice box and shit. Come here. I'm gonna give me some candy Then he goes in this pocket it's batteries from the voice box. It's a fucking nightmare You're still gonna be doing ass and taking out you fucking put stuff in the IV. I really don't you know, it just Age is just a number and

I popped into the comedy store last month And john waters was doing a show in the in the in the main room And apparently he does a show there once a year I love john waters And he he I talked to him afterwards two thursdays ago Yeah, yeah, maybe two thursdays ago because I was like, what the fuck is he doing? I couldn't believe it I couldn't believe it either and like and I the show old is he now 70 because I know this because or 71 because

He wrote a book about four or five years ago about hitchhiking across america from baltimore to san francisco John waters and I read it and he's like people are like, are you john waters? Or you look like john waters and he's like, uh, you know, um pretty distinctive looking cat with his, uh, you know boris There it goes. Yeah, the mustache. Um, and he I said amen I loved that book and he said I just wrote another book about doing acid at 70 So that's what his new book is about doing acid at 70

That must be very interesting. I haven't done acid in years. Jesus The couple times I've done the acid that's run through me It's been good acid, but it hasn't taken me Oh Open that door. I'm gonna go pee. I can't imagine doing the ass that you did then because I've done it with you a couple times and it drives me crazy Uh, did you I was wondering uh, tom, did you watch that? Uh, pbs thing the mark twain thing about chappelle? I did. It was brilliant I just saw a couple nights ago. That was really great. And I saw neil brennan last night. I told him how how incredible I thought he was on it

Oh, yeah, I thought I thought it was uh Very inspired. I thought I thought it was cool the way because like we you guys were talking how not every Uh, not everyone has a great, uh reputation And everywhere like everyone loves him and then just the thing the speech he had at the end About how how it's an art and how and all that I thought was just very I'm glad you brought that up because he said, um I may not agree with every practitioner of this uh genre, but I know where they're coming from

They wouldn't they have an idea. They want to be understood. They want to be heard I thought that speech was beautiful. Yeah, it was uh, and then him having his mom there like I'm I just hit two years and I'll I would say when I was watching that I teared up a little bit because joey Had let me let me open for him A year ago in the with the wubber theater, which was my growing up in boston was like the biggest theater Yeah, and I said a joke that I never said ever again, and I've never said before I won't never say again I heard my mom laugh like I just

just like that uh That gift that joey gave me was pretty me like Having that memory of my mom laughing in the wilbur theater. Your mom's seeing you at the wilbur theater pretty in boston pretty it's uh It's like as much as like this is fun and all that it's It is pretty amazing what it gives us. Okay, and I'm brand new at it. I'm nowhere near anywhere. You guys are well I had the I had the greatest, uh, you know, I I I did this tour of israel

and you have to be Squeaky clean to do this tour and I you know, I only had to do 20 minutes sets. I was really nervous about it I was like thinking of old jokes and like um, you know, it turned out not to be a problem, but the last Gigs on this tour were in jerusalem, and I brought my mother over there with me You know, we flew over a week early and just to give her that experience huge, um, you know Jesus woman who's prayed for me her whole life And then the best shows of that entire tour were in jerusalem and this beautiful theater

Like modern theater and there was like a 7 p.m. Show for the older people And then there was like a 10 p.m. Show for the younger people and my mom sat in that audience and got to see me destroying In where this the city where jesus did his best work That's probably one of the proudest moments of my life You know, and then I when I was worried about the clean material Wasn't a problem

It's like when I travel around the world of different countries usually what you lose in reference you gain an observation So like I had these great stories about um about just my experience with my mom in jerusalem or in israel like, um I told the story on stage in jerusalem It's on it's on my album on the the jerusalem track where Um when I was 16 years old

I was dumped by my high school sweetheart And my mother and I had to walk around lake charm in ovito florida hundreds of times Before I even started to feel a little bit better And then here we were 35 years later walking along the mediterranean sea in televieve Reliving this exact same moment because I was going through my divorce and I realized at that moment that I think my mother is the love of my life And he should have heard this Audience especially the older audience. It's 7 p.m. In jerusalem. Just go. Oh

You know So but I I'm glad you brought that up. Did you watch that joey the pbs thing that she felt it Was pretty pretty interesting. It's brilliant and it's great. They he did a set at the comp the improv in dc The night before the way they cut in that In like old performance footage of him. I thought it was it was um Pbs knocked it out of the park with that. I know he accepted an award the mark twain award Which that's like that's the Pulitzer prize for a comedian, you know the first comedian ever to win the mark twain award was

Richard Pryor You know and they do it at the lincoln center It's a big deal and I love the fact that he he honored tony woods And you know, do you know tony? I've known tony tony's such a beautiful guy in the business And everybody said forever that you know chappell Um, you know learned how to do stand-up from him and chappell takes the moment to say and the thing, you know You know miles davis was copying dizzy gillespie and if i'm miles davis I was copying you, you know, you were you were the first comedian

I ever saw who was doing it right the way it was supposed to be you were honest and fearless and you know It's really great and it's uh It makes you really When I got into comedy The level I thought I was going to make it to it was the level of the comics that Couldn't make it because of their alcohol and their drug abuse problems Do you know what i'm saying like this? There's a thousand of those. I know yeah on the road with that

You know, they just travel to get high and that that's it. Yeah They think if you live in LA and you're gay if you play the improv's you're a corporate sell-out They have an excuse for every level of what you're doing comedy Except for what they're doing meanwhile. They're playing like moon chugs comedy room And fucking bum fuck bum fuck and It's just uh Like i'm i'm honored to be Where i'm at right now like

Nobody's more grateful than I am. I feel the same way. I know exactly who the fuck I am I'm not the most famous but i'm so grateful for for what I have. I know exactly who the fuck I am And where I came from So when they call him my name up to go in the area is their own like oh my god that I bullshit my way through this one You know like you don't know. I don't like I know the fuck I am That's why i've never caught on to another shit. I never you know, I watched the kevin heart thing on netflix I love kevin wouldn't want to be kevin. I wouldn't have watched it too. It says wouldn't want to be kevin That's a different life a comedy that

I like I told you last night My my my utopia for comedy Was living at the chelsea shooting a heroine Doing comedy in between strippers like lanny bruce when I read that I go I could accept that There was no tv there. There was no Friends I didn't want to be sign fell that had nothing to do with all that shit

You know how I ended up here and whatever's completely different. Yeah, but that's where my head is that is a comic Well, I told you I had that experience because uh, mitch headberg lived at the chelsea 98 to 2000 when I was living in wall street He died in 2005 so it's 15 years now March he died in march should be 15 years in march um so headberg was one of my best friends

in that period And we done a ton of coke At the chelsea if we weren't at the chelsea we were at my rockstar apartment in the wall street area It was after my sitcom I had tons of cash And just you know, he had like two guitars in his room at the chelsea. We'd sit up all night You know drinking and sniffing and uh, or we'd be down in wall street at my place Playing music and dancing on furniture bringing people back that we met after the shows and stuff It was a lot of fun. So I had that

that chelsea Hotel drug experience. I don't look back then it was great, man. Because you know, they had all this like did they redo it? Were there mice? No, no, it was still gritty. It was still gritty. I mean, there were some rooms that were nicer than others um We got invited to some other people's rooms that were you know, there was some bigger suite rooms on the higher floors But you know all in the lobby and up down the staircase Were all these fantastic paintings by you know artists who had lived there that couldn't pay their

Rent that gave them art, you know And um, just so much great artistic history there spring quite a ride, huh brother. Yeah And it doesn't end. I mean, I feel like I'm I'm I'm I'm moving into the the best period of my life and in my comedy now So am I you know, it's so crazy because I know I've had so much uh experiences and I have so much wisdom and knowledge now You know that I didn't have my it's it's so weird out I learned so much about life, you know, when I came in Lee was talking about That he went out by the Wilbur theater, you know in front of his mom and it was great

and this year I was I was gonna do the uh The other theater Chevrolet theater and I thought real hard. I go am I gonna take Lee with me And I thought about it really hard and then Lee came to me and asked am I going with you and then he goes Look there's Steve Simone and I go I don't Want to take you to that theater anymore And I felt really guilty about it because I know it would be his time to see his mom and I want him to see his mom

But I want Lee to see the journey I felt I didn't do theaters at the two year mark. Nobody took me to a fucking theater Yeah, nobody took me to a theater till the seven year mark and I Fucking died a slow death I think Lee needs to see the journey of this because it'll help him With all the other areas of his life, you know And I think that's what this this comedy career for me was uh It was a whole therapeutic

25 year took me to find out who the fuck I was and what my voice was about and what I really wanted You know, that's hard It's really hard to look at yourself in the mirror and go What do I really want? You know, I'm like a friend of mine said you got to write it down seven times And then to give yourself the answer You know Now is what and it wasn't me writing it down seven times. That's a great way of doing it

It was taking the journey This is a journey man, you know And the comedy journey is the manhood journey or the womanhood journey Or the story of the woman that has to adjust to live in a man's world to do fucking comedy like Whitney Cummings and You know, all the great female comics have had a Cut their pussies off or put scott's tape over it or scott's tape their own dick To do comedy and that's why I wanted to leave it wasn't that I didn't want to take him with me I said I wanted to see this journey that I saw

This journey that I saw you have to see You have to see this journey that I saw to appreciate that 915 spot Yeah, exactly the comedy store. Do you have you ever read joseph prince? The hero with a thousand faces. No, apparently george lucas took A lot of this guy's teachings and put it into the original star wars That's why it's got this the story is broken down the way it is But this guy he was a mythology expert An ancient culture expert this guy studied

Stories from ancient greek theater He's restored to studied all the religions Theater the history of theater up to contemporary cinema ending with the movie star wars so The hero with a thousand faces basically says that everyone we ever considered a hero In the bible in stories and movies in any kind of situation In storytelling the the the story of the hero always have us has a similar pattern The hero was on his way on his journey rising up And then something knocked him down that he had to overcome him or her

And had to rise had to overcome some major setback or some major heart back or or even death in jesus's story That everyone we ever considered a hero never went straight up to the top all the way Uh people who rise and never deal with problems aren't people we consider heroes It's always the people who overcame Some major fucking setback in their journey to rise back up So I think you're absolutely right. Listen. It's this is This journey of being a comic

Taught me how to be a comic, but it taught me how to be a man I agree me too taught me how to be a real man Then I became the comic and then everything smoothened up You know, I was noticing last night the county store There's no negative energy up there no more You walk in the hallway. You see christelia talking to whitney. Yeah to somebody else. You hug them. You're giggling And uh, it's exciting man. I like seeing island. I like I like studying the masters and seeing what other people are doing It's just an exciting time

Listen, man. I'm happy you took the time out to come on up today And share your beautiful fucking. I love you with all my heart. Joey Diaz. I love you to my heart What do you got coming up and thanks for being uh, thanks for being my friend You know, especially last year when I was going through my divorce, man You know, anybody can be a good friend on the when everything's happy Hey, man, if if you want a good friend, you got to be a good friend And that's the fucking moral of today's monday morning podcast january 13th

2000 the day before my birthday before you what do you got planned for your birthday my friend? That would be the best that's possible birthday. We'll just say you have to store Yeah, I'll be at the store. We'll be at the store. I got and I'll be everywhere all over the world, you know, america This year. I think comedy chaos is next week Yeah, no count. I'm on comedy chaos this week with trippley and uh Tonight i'm down. Are you down there tonight? Uh, if you're going there, I'll be down there tonight. I'm always down there I don't know whatever listen. Well, yeah, and we didn't get to talk about beaker yoga. I thought that was funny

Oh, let's go. Let's go. Let's talk about it. Let's talk about it. Well, I thought it was great You talked about that documentary that he that showed the You know this discussed bag that he is The show the disgust bag that he is 15 years ago when I was living in LA I I started I was doing beaker yoga There was a bunch of comedian friends of mine that were into it and I don't like to exercise Uh, but it was like, you know, I'm full of it. Uh, you just It's hot. It's in 100 degrees. You're sweating your balls off. I enjoyed it. I did the um, uh,

I did it at the What was the headquarters and he came in and taught a class once because indian, uh television people television from india Was was filming him and it was a really small class and some LA Dude in the in the class pours water on his head and the guy beaker yells at him. What are you doing in my on the guy I I when I pulled in I saw him pulling at the same time in his Rolls Royce and he was

So he starts grandstanding in front of the television cameras for india What are you doing wasting water? Pulling water on your head in my country people have to walk 10 miles to get some more fresh water and he was just totally Doing it for the television cameras and I'm thinking well, you know, why don't you sell the rolls and build a fucking Viaduct that could get fresh water to your village that you abandoned You know, it was like kind of pretentious LA Uh stuff, but like they say in that documentary it was a great exercise and it was

They're ancient yoga poses and and just for the stretching of the spine most people get back problems as they get older Uh, I wouldn't mind getting back into some kind of yoga just to like Just to twist the spine around No, it's good for you. It's just a way He took over LA. He took over LA like Harvey Weinstein. Yeah, it was like you were talking before there was people that wouldn't call him out And here's like, you know, liberal LA Females and feminists there and like the guy was

You know, well, that's the home to those fucking knuckleheads See, that's the home. See I got approached by them at a party where chick said to me He it's not just he exercised He touches you inside and I remember looking at it going you're fucking retarded, but if you notice Everything in LA everything in hollywood is listen, let me get this out of the way right now for you motherfuckers Just so you know what time it is when new york sneezes Everybody catches a cold

The party comes out of new york. Don't ever let that mistake you at all The party started in new york and the party's always gonna be in new york LA has got this different thing You know, the other day I saw Uh, you know, marky wallberg credits his body to jumping jackson f 45 So what's f 45 f 45 is a new circle schools around the country Where they're doing it completely different like for years. We've been doing it, right? Now we're doing it wrong So now because marky wallberg is doing it. There's probably a thousand people going up there. Yeah, you got to see this shit

You know resistance day rainbow day flower day We go in phases when I got here in 97 it was taibo Everybody was kicking on the streets. Even if you went to 7 11, there was a hindu back there throwing taibo lessons for two hours a morning What happened to taibo? What happened to taibo? We just we are The suckers for everything here in LA. Yeah, we are suckers

You know, and now new york has that type of civilization that that young Want to la be so they'll get it they'll get it too and they'll pay 285 a month when they could just go to the y and do 44 dollars and Protect all the classes and get the same benefits. They got some more 045, you know, you always It's so weird like I'm I don't go to the gym. I'm trained

You know, yeah, because you want to be different than everybody else. That's that's all actors. I would want to do Is show you how they're different You know, well, jennifer lopez's body, you know, I wonder who her trainer is the same one that's in your town Same fucking idiot. Don't eat and do jumping jacks. That's jennifer lopez's fucking thing. Okay You know what i'm saying? there was a uh a very uh effeminate instructor at that big big room Headquarters years ago. He wasn't the main guy. There was another guy that was right. Yeah, yeah, you know I only saw the beacon teach the thing once. Um, but like

Some of these people, you know, it's hot, you know, so people barely wear anything so some people would go in and um only wear underwear and this um very effeminate um indian instructor one day goes um I just want to say like in the middle of the class because I just want to say some of you men who Insist on coming in here in your underwear What is that? This is a holy sanctuary and it should be respected as that you you there in the Calvin Klein striped underwear Do you think we want to see that? I'm gay and I don't want to see that

I thought it was a hilarious how this this fucking guy just chopped off this dude's head I would have raised my hand and said You're full of shit there lottery man. All right Listen, you're full of shit. That's prime fucking asshole for you You know what I'm saying? You're a stinky fucking lottery ticket salesman And that's a nice little white guy with a tight asshole and you're telling me you're offended go fuck yourself They're all a bunch of fucking liars at the end of the week. These fucking lottery salesmen

How can they find you dog? Oh at underscore tomrodes on instagram tomrodes.net And Buy my album around the world. You'll be around the store next couple weeks. Yeah, I'll be around. Yeah mom. Yeah I'm around a lot the next couple months. I can't wait to fucking see you're good when you're around It takes the fucking ego level down at the store. You know I'm saying you're right about the good vibe man. It's really No, it's been a great vibe. It's been a great vibe there

The last four years they got rid of everybody that was a fucking shit head Everybody that would go in there and look at tom rose and go Why is he here? You know like that those type of people we're here because we're comics, bitch You know, it was even great to see because me and neil got into it for a while. He would break my balls He would go are you gonna use structure tonight or you're just gonna go up there and You know, so then I would go to him neil teach me structure When are you gonna teach me how to do structure? I don't know nothing about none, you know And even him last night I gave him the biggest hug and picked him up and kissed him. Yeah

Told them you never and he doesn't like to touch people. No, so I thought it was cool that you guys hugged when you brought you on I don't give a fuck. He's a he's a he's a potato guy. Not a handshake. He's no show. He's got no chance With me. We're in the hugging business now We got I don't have that much time left in the world. These hugs count You have my daughter give you a hug. You gotta come over the house. Have my seven year old give you a hug I'd love all your problems will disappear They all disappear for three minutes. You go. What the fuck is this hug about? I'm so i'm looking forward to going home and getting the fucking hug

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But you gotta keep them down with the dick. If not, they start talking back to you. They don't make meatloaf on wednesday nights Anyway, listen start 2020 off right go to four hymns.com slash joey to get your first month free You're like, what's that joey free? That's four hymns.com slash joey. All right Here's the best part for the lawyers. The lawyers made me include this. All right Prescriptions require an online consultation with a physician who will determine if a prescription is appropriate Offer valid only if prescribed three month minimum subscription Additional restrictions apply

See the website for full details and important safety information. Remember that's four hymns.com Slash joey the church is also brought to you by and I'm sick and fucking tired of telling you about this Because you should be ashamed of yourself. You're all young get out there. Have a good time It's brought to you by my bookie. Listen, it's 2020 We're heading into the new years and as you saw last week the patriots out Baltimore's out Tennessee is in nobody knows what's going on head over to my bookie dot ag To make your prediction to reality. Stop telling people. I love san francisco. Did you better dial or no?

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bakersfield with george parez Fresno The tickets are sold out. Let's say you got on a bicycle. I'm taking a ride to bakersfield. If not, you're fucked. All right That's it. And that's that we'll be back thursday morning ready to rock and roll with you motherfuckers I want to thank my brother tom Rhodes. I want to thank the christ killer, but most importantly I want to thank you motherfuckers. Don't forget atlanta 25th of january 9 30 show. There's still some tickets left. You know, take the drive. I don't give a fuck. It's the snow Take a chance columbus did get a bottle of blackberry brandy and get out there in the snow and see where it takes you

some same Some years might end up in a snow embarkment And the other ones will end up with a dui. But what the fuck are you doing with your life anyway? couple nights in the pokey britt builds character I love you motherfuckers. Thank you very much for listening and see you on thursday morning