Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #752 - Josh Adam Meyers

Episode Date: January 16, 2020

Josh Adam Meyers, a comedian and the creator of "The Goddamn Comedy Jam," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. Check out Josh's appearance on Bill Burr Presents: The Ringer. Now on Comedy Central.  This podcast is brought to you by:   Manscaped - Get 20% off your first order and a travel bag if you purchase “The Perfect Package” at www.manscaped.com and use the code CHURCH   CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to www.CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.   

Greetings from podcast for you little cocksuckers. It's Thursday The 17th of the month. We got a great show for you today. No more music. We're on Spotify now. We're not fucking around Today's guest is my main man Josh Adam Myers and the Christ killer is always motherfucking here But before we start the show is brought to you by Manscape the best in balltrimmers guys It's two weeks into 120 and your dick still looks like the fucking wolf man You understand me. Have you got your fucking knob polished yet? No, because you're a filthy fucking animal That's why Manscape is here to make you look like a good fucking friend

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Mmm Do you see the thing that Onyx Muse tweeted today? No that this guy on grinder Killed a guy and he strung him up and cut his balls off and ate them It's got that's a way of getting off. I mean, you know, that's that's getting bad out there, you know You admitted to it too. Oh, yeah, I mean if you think about it though, like there's probably way just I mean that's horrible I'm not taking any of the way from that. There's probably horrible shit happening on grinder every day I mean, you know, you guys are disgusting and then you're meeting up with some random guy and a fucking And a red roof in and Tulsa, you know, that's it this look at the guy from Lynn ever said nothing about last year

By the way, Josh Adamwise congratulations. Thank you brother a little show burp a bill burp presents It's on Friday, uh, January 10th. That's the premiere But it's you can find it on YouTube, it'll be all over social media So just go to my social media page at Josh Adam Myers or go to the Comedy Central App and you'll be able to find it. All right back to the fucking So you meet this fucking gay guy, you do not know and they go off. I mean they fuck without condoms They don't give a fuck. No, not at all. You know, we have friends. So I've been told I said, I'm so confident So I've been told we have mutual friends that are gay and then they live a different lifestyle than us

Completely well, you have to you have to consider Joey. It's like you're a guy So you have that natural guy stuff So the way that we react to women and how we're always thinking about women you have to imagine Now you're thinking about men that way and it's and the woman is never thinking about you the way you're thinking about the woman But the guy is like, yeah, you want to stick a plunger in my ass. Fuck. Yeah, dude I'm into that and then that's what they're doing, you know, so good for them It's crazy. No, no, I ain't mad at nobody. Yeah, it's a lot of fun. Oh, it's great I have a buddy who he's not he doesn't have like the effeminate voice

So he sounds like a regular guy and we drive down to San Diego and he'll be like, oh, yeah, that's so hot And he'll show me a picture. He's watching porn. He's like, hey, look at this ass And for a second you forget that he's gay. He's like, oh, it's gonna be girls ass And just this dude, he just you have to keep this in mind, dude We're in Los Angeles, which this is the the the best looking of the best looking gay guys in the world Oh, yeah, you go to Pittsburgh. There's a guy at a bar right now. That's like ugly faggot. He's like, he's like, let me get her He's got some ugly faggot stoop dog. He's like, hey bartender. Let me get a bud wiser and you and put your balls in it real quick Go ahead and do that for me. I've seen some ugly gay motherfuckers in jersey. Oh, that's what I'm saying. New York

They pick up again in New York. They get real You got a Chelsea either. Yeah, then they're they're closety. They bang women and guys So you don't know who the fuck you're getting. You don't know. Yeah, when you suck that dick, you don't know what flavor It could be chocolate. It could be neapolitan It could be whatever Yeah, but it's really weird like when you see a gay guy in texas like I knew a gay guy in texas. He was no Elvis He wasn't a good looking guy at all, you know, houston. I've met him and he houston has a big gay area That's phenomenal

Phenomenal still a big city big so you get to a big city. They have a section of town like dcs dupont circle And you'll find all variations I forget the name of this restaurant fanny. If you're ever in houston, you've got to go to this restaurant Dingles. No, is it dingles? No, it's I think it's max. Well, you open a gay bar and call it dingles That's the thing about a gay bar. I would love to open up a gay bar Just to get to push the name Like I want people signing petitions in my navy If you think they sign petitions in burbank against burbank airport the planes are too loud

Wait till I come up with a name like the flaming asshole, you know, they open up They open up a five guys there and I was like, oh, that's oh, it's not gay. I was like, no, that's the burger place I was like, that would have been a perfect name. Jesus. That is a perfect name five guys Five guys who were lonely. What was that strip club? What was that strip club? Is this still open? Which one 99 hot girls and one ugly one? Oh, uh deja vu. That's that's that's there. Yeah, that's their motto and it's what was their motto It was like 99 99 attractive ones, uh, like three uglies Is that really is that really? Yeah, if you go to the deja vu website, I'm pretty sure that's that was like the whole

Thing, you know, I mean, hey, they're honest. Yeah, but who like what stripper would sign up to be the ugly one? That's fucking that's the thing. They don't know they don't know they think they're the hot one Oh, dude, I've I have seen when I deejaded strip clubs years ago Uh, it because you they have to be that confident Sexual thing and so you can find the hottest girl at the strip club who makes no money But the girl that is just like a four But and maybe a little overweight, but just fucking is just in her head She's the sexiest thing in the world. She'd make more money than everybody. I got a girl. It's all confidence

I got a girl on twitter That I seen her, you know, because twitter's adding more and more chicks doing cans. Oh, yeah Alex muses has been on the show. I love onix. I love who she she's uh, i'm just a cam girl I love her. She's a young girl When I was shooting the sopranos we went out to breakfast a couple times You know, it's I talking to a regular chick that just Shows a pussy on a cam later on. That's it. She's another role with that. There's nothing. I wasn't mad at that Make your money whatever as long as you're not hurting anybody

Bro with the money they're paying you nowadays. You're gonna fucking go be a waitress I stayed at camp girl. I'd stay listen if I was fucking hot and I was 22 I would fucking put a mask on a wolf man and just show my pussy all day for tips I'd make a lot more than if I was a fucking starbucks. Yeah putting up with a lot of soybean fucking drinkers, you know Yeah, that's the fucking truth. You know, what are we talking about about onix muses about cam? Oh, no, so this is chicken Okay, and one day she reached out like hey, man I watch I made a comment And I looked at I looked at this stuff

And she's a porno chick, but she's like 48 Like knock it off. Her ass is completely flat Like, you know, it's completely flat and she goes, you know, she I'm getting back into porn whatever So I typed her in and you could see the difference She was here in 1990 hot a pussy was squirting, you know She was a fucking fireball and something must have happened. You know, she went to a mental institution Years came out and she got back into porn and she's putting people pictures up and every time I retweeted People just torment her. Oh, I'm trying to help her to help herself videos of people like, please

Don't fucking retweet No more a pussy's old. It's beat up She said to me and then a partner was like retweet me Retweet me. I need all the help. I'll give you codes to my thing. Yeah, and she's the gang bang one Oh, she's just a gang bang one. She flies into a town puts an ad in And fucking come to hotel 202 and suck my asshole and you see a bunch of guys lined up And they just fuck her it's getting crazy dude. I I'm something crazy. You know, steve randoff So steve randoff did uh, did uh, he wasn't I think he went to a bukkake

Like that was shot. He brought his like first day. He's talked about it on like other podcasts So I'm not like outing anything Uh, and he gave me the link to it because like people found the link all the your mom's house fans found the link And so I was like, well, I gotta see it because I because I heard steve pops in it You don't see his face, but I was just like I just want to just just to see it for a second and I go into watch it And there's like four bukkakis There's a dude that was friends with my roommate when I used to live like one of the bukkake guys So it's just and and my friend I showed to another buddy. He goes do we gotta like like like tell people and I was like

No, no, no, no, no, no no. No. This is for us We can you know, we we have a funny picture of him like just sitting there like angry face. She's holding his dick And I'm like the guy's overweight but good for him. He works at enterprise You know what I mean like I don't want to ruin this guy's life. You make your money anyway You're gonna make your money. What's a book cocky who cocky's like it's kind of like a gang bang But I think more fun because yeah, you know there's a girl in the center and every guy's just prepping and then one at a time They all just jizz on her and at the end they all go boo cocky And I say started in Japan

Because they're into some freaky shit. I don't know about the ending, but yeah, the middle part's right I might have added them. I might have added the book cocky stream out. It's like really really disgusting and disturbing that men do that You're just talking about Judas Priest taking dick and listening to that song. Yeah, that's one guy. Oh one guy. I'm not talking about a room Listen, let me tell you something. I love you to death. Okay. I never ever ever want to see your dick under no conditions There's a plan on showing it if you tell me that you're doing a threesome And you got a chick and you're banging her in the ass if I still believe you know I'm saying I don't like two dicks around me Oh, I don't want a guy jerking off next. I walked out once I walked out once on a on a

It would have been a I guess a quasi orgy my me and my girl and a guy and his girl and They were all on ecstasy. We and I was just everybody starting to take clothes off And I was just like I told the girls like this is this is going the other room I was like, I don't want to see the guy also the guy was Neve Campbell's brother So he looked like Neve Campbell. So it's just it was like awkward. You know, I mean, I've seen the movie scream I like the movie scream. I didn't want to see him, you know, no, like I didn't want to see that and would see him Humming do we fuck we look weird. I don't want to do it. Like with two girls. That's one thing I've had one threesome. It was it was great in my whole life

But I the idea of like like you said like do you watch some of these like group sex things and like they're going into It's like two girls or two guys and one girl and they're like mushing their cocks together just to get it in the same hole and that's It's too much. It's just too much. Yeah, it's not my thing. You have a jerk off in front of a mirror What when I was used to do coke One night in Vegas. I was so paranoid jerk off outside. Sure. I type the jerk off in the bathroom and I caught myself in the mirror Jerking off. Okay. Why did we do that though? Why the fucking if you don't see yourself jerking off You look at Jerry Lewis kid. Oh, oh, it's yeah, we're not like you're fucking retarded. Do we turn into like a goblin? We like our shoulders. We have no neck. We bend over. We got this weird creepy look on your face. I remember stopping

Like oh, that's what I become. I can't do this shit no more So I can't imagine doing it Around four or five. I didn't you know, you look at a guy like me, you know Joe Diaz is this and it's just by judging them If it comes to sex, you're gonna peg me wrong completely Because I was never that guy like I was never that guy when I was a kid The big thing in New York was to go to play those retreat. What's play those retreat a fucking disgusting orgy Really? Oh are that you paid?

500 to get in and you were promised to get fucked and 200 idiots would go there every night I'm gonna get my dick suck. There'd be three girls in like 99 guys. Yeah, that'd be hot guys Yeah, and I had the 1040 club which was 1099 to get your dick suck plus tax is 1040 That's it that's that New York 8% I went to that one time and I knew that world wasn't for me Yeah, I saw porn that was just you know porn now and porn when I came from Cuba was two different world Oh, yeah, one now has a middle of beginning and ending the girl takes a shower What I came here from Cuba not normal women were doing porn. They were like two days from being condemned Like they like listen to hospitals stays and of course you're 1200 for the year

You just got to make a stop and do some sex scenes and then we'll take you to the thing and the chicks like okay And they wouldn't even know I mean, I'm just assessing they weren't good-looking So from an early age, I never really understood None of that shit like really girl. It was a girl in my hometown that sucked 20 dicks two nights She sucked 18 one night and like 22 the other night They called the marathon woman when I was a junior in high school. It's 40 decks and I remember going You know what? I wish I was there, but then again, I don't really want to be there Like that would like she came out the 18 dicks burped

The guy used to pimp her out his name was Jimmy Denny and he thought he was fucking Jimmy Page He drove me crazy. I always wanted to kill him. I like this brother. Yeah, me and his brother the devil What do you why do you like him just says Jimmy? He was creepy. He was 14. He already had false front teeth He had long and I can't say I didn't like him. I like them. I like this is an early. It's just his energy It was creepy. Yeah, and he would always come around with a guitar Like those guys always bother me Well, I see a guy playing the guitar like doing the afternoon when the guitar is not necessary Yeah, there's a guy that hangs out at this coffee shop that I go to he's out front

It's necessary keep the guitar at home. It shouldn't you be a little fair It's like the guys on when you fly on Sundays They walk on a plane with a guitar if you're not Led Zeppelin check that fucking thing Yeah, cuz you ain't worth the shit check that fucking thing. Okay, leave me the fuck alone If I don't see Robert plant walking behind you, don't bring that guitar around there Yeah, and then you want to sit and coach and complain why there's no space for your fucking base Because you're playing a shitty band. Yeah, that's why you're in coach leave your fucking Guitar off the fucking plane. It drives me crazy. What we talking about the guy playing the fucking guitar

Yeah, but you're the buddy who would pinball his girlfriend. Yeah, so he would come to 38th Street Park With this with these like two fucking freaky girls that thought they were like the Manson girls And he'd play the guitar at the park where we're shooting hoops I get irritated, but I like this brother his brother was the devil. So you couldn't really fuck with him So, what do you mean his brother just you was just the tough dude when we were in kids We were kids they called him the devil like we were 14. They called him the devil guess what he is today Doing right in North Carolina. Oh, well his wife. You knew it at that age. Yeah, you could always tell who is gonna be I ran with Mike Mike Mike Mike was my introduction when my mom died I ran with Mike at night

It was always a double cross He double-crossed everybody even you he was worse than uncut gems. Yeah, he was the original uncut gem Yeah, yeah, he would he would double-cross, you know, yeah, we would go make a move And then we're picking up this and he come back to the car Oh, he only gave us 80 bucks and then you see him with a diamond ring the next day you motherfucker You know, he's one of those guys. Yeah, but he had a car He always played arrows and let's get your wings. There it is. So I took what I could sure give me rides So I took what I could for a minute. We do you know we use this brother, but this ain't the point was that

Mike What was his name Jimmy Denny something like that one of the Denny's like you would come up to him There was a point where you would come up to him and talk to him and he would go you want to blow job And you're like sure and he'd go suck his dick And you'd go like behind the car and she would suck your dick and then he kept doing that more and more And then one night he took it to a party and said suck everybody's deck She sucked everybody's deck and then he took it to another party and she sucked 22 decks that night and she'd come to school The next day and there was nothing wrong with her

from the outside And I remember sitting behind her in class and just like saying because they called the marathon woman That was a street name marathon marathon marathon. It's horrible I couldn't imagine how long it would take to suck one dick to imagine doing 22 in one night I take the whole day 16 never come. Yeah when you're 16, you don't come Oh, you know you just sit there with a hard dick like just in shock that somebody well or it's the alternative that they're They're just so excited because the first time they have their dick in somebody's mouth So it's just like yeah, that's like I bet there was a lot of quick poppers. I bet there was like even down

Yeah, I bet there was a couple guys were like this is my third one So I'm prepared I don't forget years later looking at a high school yearbook at a friend's house and seeing her picture like Like smiling like what the fuck are you smiling about is she still alive? I don't know. I even forgot her name Thank God, I forgot her name. We had a drop on Facebook We had a family that was in the town that I grew up in so in Germantown, Maryland They were called there were the B crafts. There was on Andrea B craft I think was the daughter and then there were three there were three brothers all varying ages older and I bought LSD from the family once they were like they were the degenerates

You know, I mean the B crafts and I remember one time Like I was at the Wendy's where we used to hang out and smoke cigarettes And they were there with Andrea the sister and like literally she just looked so out of it And they were they asked me like you want to get laid. It's like, yeah, you know 100 bucks or whatever you can fuck her This is their sister Yeah, dude I remember there was a girl at school too that that I that there was a rumor that she would suck dick for $20 and one time we got off the bus and we were all hanging out smoking cigarettes at the at the bus stop

and I asked her in like a very Not I maybe it was like, you know, how much would you be at when you'd you charge if you had to suck dick to somebody And she was like a girl was like, well, I wouldn't do that and then then that girl she was like 20 bucks And that got me so hard for some reason. I got so excited because she was cute I was like, god, I wish I had 20 bucks in that moment But yeah, some some people are very just just open the Andrea thing. I think they that that family was just such Pieces of shit and they probably got the the sister hooked on drugs and then just were like you're gonna be a prostitute

They're gonna make money off for the other girl. I think just You know, some people look at sex in a different way, you know, they look at it where it's not a big deal And that's why that's where you get sex workers or some sex workers that are just like, yeah Like I'll be a stripper and I'll give you a hand job because I don't think anything of it You're gonna pay me for it, but I'll do it You know Yeah, I just went and did our buddy George Perez's podcast and his buddy they were because they do a podcast him and his friend Eddie and

He was showing me on instagram that they they both work at strip clubs like strippers They follow we'll just put on their instagram stories. Like it was it was the funny thing was like A girl's got a christmas presents to buy asses for sale again Just on her instagram story, dude I had I remember strippers at the club that would be like I gotta make rent tonight So my knees are gonna hurt by the end of it. I'm sucking a lot of dicks tonight. Oh, Jesus That's just what they do. Do you know what I mean? There was amara Amara was a one that just she was just the hand job queen man

And she would guy would buy a half hour from her for For $150 and they'd go in and it's a 15 minute or a half hour. It's supposed to be 10 songs That's three minutes each song right she'd be out in a song and a half How long were you a DJ at a strip club? I got hired at desire which isn't too far away from here in February of 2009 Because remember alex more the seven foot big dude that used to hang out at the comedy store used to be a door guy there

He's a regular there. I think that's when you weren't you weren't coming around But alex I couldn't find a job And I was going to like restaurants and I was trying to get hired and I was living on couches trying to be a comic Do an open mics doing what I had to do to survive And alex heard me complaining and he goes he goes used uh, he's like used to be uh, like a private party DJ I was like, yeah, and he's like, dude, you got a great voice man. He's like if I was you forget these restaurants I'd go to a strip club He's like, I bet if you go to a strip club tomorrow go out in the valley hit like six of them

He goes, I bet you get hired at three tomorrow and he was right I got hired immediately at the first club. I went to and I worked there. It was off of uh Fuck it was like it was off a sherman way I want to say bel-air buy the club the desire club that we were just a desire But deja vu that we were just talking about it's like literally on the next street, uh east And it was the shittiest place I ever worked. It was how long did you work there? I worked at that place from February until may and then I went out of town from my mom's retirement party when I came back They took they hired somebody else and I was like, dude, I got all my shifts covered

They're like, we didn't think you were coming back. I was like, I literally said to you I'll be back in four days And they they fucking fired me and then I got hired in the spearman rhino First place I went to Because it was always funny any time I went to a strip club to apply and I was like, I was like, yeah I was like, I'm a dj and they'd be like, yeah, we don't need one and then I go, ah man, that sucks and they go Wait, wait, wait, wait, you got a great voice. We got to put you up there It's like you were born to do this and I go up there and I'd just be like, oh

Yeah, y'all go in the back and get your dick mush and they were like, all right, you're working Tuesday How long did you work at deja vu for? I didn't work at deja vu. I worked. I worked at uh desire and Desire worked out from February to May spearman rhino. I worked at from Buck from june of 2009 until January of 2016 I didn't work at that same club. I moved on to a different club But I I you know, dude, I I had worked there and it's like you're I was building my career and it really started taking off and then it became this level of

Of hating the job so much because I wanted to quit and just be a comic and I'm doing all these festivals like just for laughs and I'm you know, I'm play opening for bur and every once in a while I remember I remember one weekend. I was I jammed with bur at at Madison Square Garden before he headlined We rented all this equipment. I jammed there and the night before that I had sold out a show at Gramercy doing the goddamn comedy jam and then a week later I was at the club in downtown LA being yelled at by a stripper So I developed this like horrible opiate addiction just fucking because it was in downtown LA So I just every time I was driving to work. I just stopped by a fifth and Broadway pill alley jump out of my car

I had my liaison I call him say yeah, I want let me get five blues and he'd meet me in the car I give him a hundred bucks and go to work and I had to like dope myself up so I could just get through the shift and then it was uh, we we sold the show to Comedy Central and in November of 2015 and then January 2016 my I was really really bad off with pills and I kept I didn't call out from work But I kept getting my shift covered. I only worked Thursday and Friday night and I was making bread too I was making, you know, five to a thousand dollars a night I was making 500 to a thousand a night working two nights

And I remember I called out one shift because they had me working on Christmas I had worked Thanksgiving and Christmas because Thanksgiving's on Thursday and Christmas that year fell on on on a Thursday And I got my shifts covered and then two days after Christmas the the manager called me. He's like, hey man He's like, uh, we're gonna take away your Thursday and Friday nights I give you a Sunday and Monday and the money would have dropped Exponentially like I would have gone from 500 to maybe 50 to 75 maybe a hundred dollars a shift And I just said, yeah, I think I think that's it And I was dating a girl and she had some money and so she was like, yeah, I'll pay your bills until I had no bills

So I mean it was like rent was like a thousand bucks. That was my only bill And uh, and then a few months later I started touring. So then I just never went back, but I went back A few times and I just went back recently just because I was driving by I was on the five and you know right at the 5 10 interchange. That's where the club It's called dames and games Is And I was like, you know what I was like, it's been like three years. I haven't been back

I just want to go in there and I went back to the same motherfuckers All there Every single like the same same door guys same dj And they're just beaten and bruised And just the club is not nearly what it was when I worked there when I worked there. It was a fucking atm I showed up. I had so many hustles. It was like you want this song 100 bucks You want to go on stage and we skip all these girls you got split that money that guy

I had so many little hustles didn't deal drugs but just And and it's just like it blew my mind and I now when I go there now, which is rare But what I have I go in there. So I see that world so I can say to myself never go back Work your ass off five years that you work for the strip club What did you see? What did you I mean? Yeah, you saw some beautiful women you saw tits you saw pussy asses women walking around naked Probably you could probably get your dick sucked once a shift

But after a while you become numb to it you see some oh, yeah What is it that you saw that made you You see a fucking dirty Ugly pain I saw the worst of people you see I saw the worst of of what Of what money can do to people what people are willing to do for and I'm not just talking about sex I'm just talking about like the the selfishness the whole circle. Oh, it's just you're you're getting See, that's the thing is that like people like, you know, ryan sickler and jay

They have the podcast of crab feast and I go on there and I tell these stories from my life Not so much a strip club, but just life and like, you know, they in a kidding way will call me like a dirt bag and I got you this and it's like no man. I was just learning I was learning in life and I made a lot of mistakes and I can look back now and be like, dude, I'm a good person I take care of my friends and family. I'm I'm not selfish. I don't leave with my ego So the war the strip club world was not for me I'm a sensitive guy like much like you when we were listening to that song like I felt that that almost got me and it's like it's like I I

I only did that for survival, but it was like it I never let it change me But it but it was like if I could if like if if I never make it and and I think about that like if I don't Create the jam or I don't you know, really just you know start doing my own things I could still be there and some people like George George loves it because George and George isn't a dirt bag He's just a fun guy that drinks and parties and and he's cool with all the girls for me, man It was like I went in there for money and it made it brought out the worst of me, man And I've seen you know, I've seen some girls go in there that are like

I'm doing this for now And I'm gonna because like maybe the economy crashed or they fucking something happened or they got went through a divorce And and then they can go in there and compartmentalize it like this is a job and I just leave it here I'm the party girl here But once I leave I have my kid or I got this and I pay my bills and I go to school And then you have these these some girls and people that like this world Is the only world that they know And and they thrive in it because they don't give a fuck who they rip off. They don't give a fuck

You know what they do To get ahead of you You know what I mean? I've seen girls drug other girls. I've seen so they could get their customer I've seen fights fighting over nothing like nothing and it just like And I got to play the fucking soundtrack to it. You know what I mean? It's it's it was such a Such a sad place for some place. It's supposed to be so much fun. It's there's so much sadness. I day this I Like I said, I went to metal lands in when I was a kid I saw a girl put a galliano bottle in a pussy and bananas

Tina Tina and that was great when I was fucking 16 and 17 And then something happened to me. I don't know I just strip clubs became And I'm not talking about that. I'm not taking the high moral road There was just something that didn't do anything for me to be honest. It's like going to odors If you're not going to show me your pussy the wings ain't that good. Yeah, you know what I am I want to see your pussy. I don't want to see cleavage. You know, I'm already I already went through puberty. Yeah So for me, it just became nothing

And then I started dating a stripper And I started picking her up I would pick her up And I got into her world. I would talk to her and you know the day the stripper is a man It eats you alive Because no matter what they tell you I just do lap dance really And you came home with $2,000

Unless you did lap dances for retards. I wouldn't give you no $20 to the dance. There are listen what there are some But there are some that just know how to work it. Yeah, they are and I get you and they have regulars and I'm single And I'm looking for a boyfriend and in time come next Wednesday. And that's yeah, that's your regulars. It's a hustle It's a it's a lot. It's a long game. It's a long game It's a long game and then the guy finally after 20,000 he realizes there's nothing That's why they don't want your boyfriend ever picking you up Don't have your boyfriend pick you up. Yeah, because one of the guys in the car Dreaming about you and also he sees fucking your loser boyfriend because that's what you have. Yeah

You have a loser boyfriend when you're dancing That allows you to do that or they even considers that that means that he's laying somewhere doing drugs And he's not doing it right there. They're pimping It's a form of pimping that's that's like I saw that time and time again So I lived with her in seattle and I loved her. I loved it, but it bothered me and it was something that I just For me to move forward. I just couldn't think about She would come home take a shower I wouldn't ask her nothing. She'd tell me to help account the money

I dropped a couple 50s on the floor and put them in my sock You know, it was because she's not all bright. She wasn't no fucking five beta kappa Even though today she has a master's degree Just I love it at that now which tight friends But while I dated her I went through a lot of Like you have to check your emotions And then I would go pick her up and I'd see the people Who would be at those places and it was the same

guys Like hoping that something's gonna happen And you're like you could have been on a dating site Yeah, you could have done this and this and this and then I saw something All right, so when we got here, we lived in a trailer on Fairfax And then we broke up and I moved in with stanhope and then we got back together and by that time we had an apartment Fucking on hollywood boulevard and I would pick her up So I would driver at seven shoot do my spots

Do my spots at the store and then I'd pick her up with a quarter to two she worked on lasianica What's the one on lasianica that's been there? Yeah, I don't I don't what it's it's like by Largo, right? And it's owned by the same guy seven veil. They're on seven. They're on same seven veil because she could Could have switched. Yeah. Have you been to the seven veil? Oh that place a shit hole, dude I went there one night coked up. Just me. I think it's a coked up place. That's where you go coked up Yeah, just a smell of that place. It's smell like an abortion clinic in there So we fuck in

That place smells like an abortion clinic. It really does and I don't Shoot clubs have this smell that is just disgusting. Yeah, dude. It stays with you. Oh god So I have to pick her up by that place in a quarter to And I go back then I'm waiting and I'd never got out of the car. She just knew She would text me and she knew to come out in 10 minutes and I would sit in the car or whatever I didn't have a cell phone back then You know this one night She ran out and she put her bag in the thing and she goes come on in you have to see this

And I go what are you talking about? She goes you got to see this We went through the back and in LA they have a six foot rule. Do they not in the city in hollywood? Well, yeah on the stage on stage again. Yeah, 1997 if you got a private dance You stood there and I stood here with a rope in front of me And when we walked in god bless god rest his soul It was chris folly a week before he died fatter than ever by himself

With a dinner jacket on And like a gray shirt on but the gray shirt was covered And sweat He was just sweating from the blow or whatever. Oh, he was he's doing speedballs right face was Red his cheeks were beat red and he was sweating so much That his hair looked like he was putting grease in it And all he was doing was he had a stack of money

He had just ripped the bands off and he was just taking them and throwing them at him and laughing And me and her just looked at each other and I'm like Well, I guess I'm not a chris folly fan no more. Fuck. Yeah, that's how bad Chris folly looked he didn't look like he was even being a nice guy Oh, you see I mean you you figure he's probably been up for like three days maybe longer It was like out of anger it's like me just going okay You want the money get the fuck out leave and he was just throwing money at her I sat there for maybe three four minutes and me and my girlfriend left maybe

Four days later he fucking fuck Yeah, but that whole While I dated that girl I felt that darkness Joe Rogan tells the story that when I moved there. I wasn't funny and all of a sudden one day I got funny when I broke up with that girl Her bad energy she had such what they do for a living, you know We were talking about dream stealers before people who steal your dreams You know, it's like when I worked at the sports betting service And I would call you up and say I'm gonna go three for four

I know I don't have any information and meanwhile you you really did lose 75 thousand dollars You really did You really took my information and bet and you really did borrow 30 from your mom And 40 from your father and 60 from your grandmother's retirement account to put this betting You know how bad of a karma that was how I worked at that place and today Out of all those guys I worked at the sports betting service pretty much all of them are fucked up Something's not right with them one of them came to one of my shows and I go how these guys doing he goes I don't see them they're in the bottle

What's his name's wife left him that guy he went broke Because it's like they were playing a scam game And I think sometimes strippers have that energy this girl today is successful. She's working She's got two kids on the godfather to an oldest boy, you know, I keep in touch with her But her life has been nothing How kids remember her with 15 men I know The kids were born she said 15 living boyfriends

So the energy Was so bad that she had around her that once she got out of my life like In a sexual and as a being around me way my whole life changed I could I've the same situation. It was like I lost 40 pounds of energy like thought Like my thought process didn't have to think about her anymore Dude, if you're dating somebody that's depressed or negative and you like I mean you take that I take people's energy So in the sense if you're if you're in a good mood, then I'm in a good mood

You know what I mean? And if you're sad like that's why when I go home my mom's kind of a negative person Like I I love it a death, but it's like it's it's it's it just brings me down To where it's like like I start feeling that way And but now since I started meditating and and and doing all this reading and shit That it's like I can go home and separate that and be like, okay. She that's her energy I don't have to take that but you go to that if you're dating somebody that is a that is negative or living in a negative world Like that you have to believe that energy is real and then you're pulling from that man

Dude, I was dating a girl that was depressed and I was depressed after I had the tv show I'd never been more depressed in my life than when I had that tv show Because I'm from multitude of things. I still had survivor's guilt from my friend dying I was just upset of the way The show was made and and I couldn't enjoy one second of it And I isolated from the world and I and I was dating this girl and man We just isolated her and I together because two negatives when you're depressed and she's depressed two negatives make a positive Do you know what I mean? So when she's a fun hang we're having a great time

And then I went through my a little existential crisis where I was like fuck man. I was like I I haven't been doing stand-up like I used to I it's like I I don't know what I'm gonna do But I always have stand-up So I got to dive back into that and I started doing it and then she started saying to me She's like, oh, you're gonna go out again tonight. No, I was just like I was just like I was like, sweetheart You gotta go I was like I that's the problem. You can't grow like there's so many people there's a lot of women that at first They don't really know what comedy is

You know 30 days, it's great. Oh my god. He's it must be great living with him. Oh, it's a barrel of lads wait He had knocked up And I'm calling you from Florida. What are you doing? I'm here with josh atomizing. Yeah We're at pay pf chang fucking Show is great. I was great. We won't be home till next Tuesday and you're there carrying two babies cleaning out a litter box Like comedy career ain't no fucking fun. Yeah, so whatever woman you decide on or mate if you're a woman you decide on They have to be all right with it. They have to know in the beginning You have to set the rule like the second day like listen, bitch

I'm out five nights a week if your parents come to town I don't give a fuck If your parents want to go out to dinner, I don't give a fuck If your uncle dies in a car accident got nothing to do with me and it's very hard for some of you to accept that Oh, yeah, dude, not any woman is gonna accept that but back to your statement. I have a different situation My wife is a positive person But it's not what you say. It's how you say it I could just say to you. Hey, they just blew up tower three

Hey, oh my god, they blew up tower three You know what I'm saying? Yeah, my wife is the second. You know, I'm about to leave in the morning I'm about to go to miami I'm just getting the ubers outside. Yeah, and my wife would go. There's two racial storms in miami and I'll tell her knock it off It's your storms Big fucking deal and if you know anything about the news, it's probably sunny in 38 Because they show us the bullshit My my daughter's godfather lives in fort lee every night

They tell me how the frigid conditions in new york tonight And then they go to fort lee and the lady's standing there and she ain't even shaking She's she's standing outside by the george. Why you were at a windbreaker Not even a jacket like a windbreaker something finny golfing, you know, we get lean. I'm saying like yeah Bullshit, that's kind of what my mom's like too. My mom is she blows everything up and you're like, she's just like dude Up with the voice. That's how my door. That's how my wife was raised Like everything is a panic like I still remember when the towers were getting hit I woke up to oh my god. Oh my god. What happened?

Wow The towers got hit I never forget and I tell the story I was at the store monday night and it was the week that Fuck oh we're having the home run races Maguire and Sosa, yeah, okay, and and poor mooney was down on monday night and he kept saying they ain't gonna let that little nigga Break the record. I'm telling you they ain't gonna let that little nigga make the record if you ever saw poor mooney That's how he would talk on stage everything was racist. Yeah, he was talking about barry bonds He goes they're never gonna let that barry bond

They're never gonna let that nigga break the record. What something's gonna happen So I went home with that mind and I woke up to my wife going. Oh my god They just looked how before I remember going waking up going fucking poor mooney was right They're not gonna let that little nigga break the record because they canceled all the games that day Now if they're off his hitting get his head a little bit So how's this new fucking podcast work? It's great. It's great. Um, god, I want you to do it so fucking bad We gotta find you a record. I gotta send you live. So it's uh, I have a pie. I looked I went you you contacted me Here's the problem. Good. I wanted you to do zz top right because I thought for some reason I thought you

I'm a zz top fan. Yeah, but you hit me with an album that I haven't listened to in 25 years You hit me at a time in my life when You know Who has the time? Yeah, I know you're listening to a fucking album and really Absorb it. So I felt like anything else in life You know, uh, you're a pilot, right? Josh atomizing your life you fly for United Airlines

Then why the fuck are you writing a movie about fishing? Oh, I can't get it. I'm having writers blog. Yeah, because you're not a fisherman Did you ever think of that you're a pilot write a book about a drunk pilot that gets on a plane and Jerks off to the women in the camera in the fucking bathroom. That's what you know. Yeah, it's the same thing So for me to live like but I like the two aspects of it I like the aspect of getting introduced to an album That's a great thing that's going. You know what? I am going to take in Joni Mitchell from Josh Adam Myers

But I need a week of Joni Mitchell. Sure. I need a week to put that album on smoke my wreath Well, that's what that's what we need to do is that I just need to send you the list for the next like year I looked at it already. Well, no, no, but it's shade. That's been almost a year now No, no, but I looked at the top. Oh, you did. Yeah, you did call me and talk about that Yeah, 500 and I was like, there's no way for me To listen to an album once to assess it I gotta keep hearing it and hear yeah and hearing it and hearing and then going wow, that's amazing that they put metal gods Right behind that song. Yeah, it goes right into it and this and this then I gotta go online

And read about the recording sessions and how the studio burnt on fire Oh, I love that. Yeah, I wish every guest did what you're talking about right now when you're talking about uh Not excel on main street, but what would the album when they put sympathy for the devil? I don't know that one. I mean I beg his banquet. Okay. Yeah beg his banquet the studio burnt down while they were taping beg his banquet after they did uh Please allow me whatever that song is sympathy for the devil The fucking edibles hit me pilot the bombadilla pilot the bombadilla Looking at fanny finishers been giggling over them. So do you understand me? That's what you know, I want to go in there prepared

I want to go in there saying you know what uh the first three albums prior to this fanny Whatever your last name is played the bass, but on that album She got knocked up and they replaced to a rooty saw as though. Yeah one album. That's why you well What's what's good? And I love that you I love that you listen you want to do the research too But I do all the heavy lifting so all I ask is the guests You know look at the list of the of Rolling Stone magazine's 500 greatest albums, right? And then I want them to pick one Hopefully they're picking one that is already in their heart. You know what I mean that they grew up listening to that

Love and so because then there's like a whole story behind it where I was like I was 13 I remember the exact moment. I heard appetite for destruction And then this happened and then this happened and then we talk about when I used to rape women I used to hide that I used to hide in the bushes And I would put a cassette one of the Walkman had my my disc man I'd put that on him and I had on the shock thing so it wouldn't skip while I was raping And before I'd rape him I'd listen to one way or another from blondie, you know what I'm saying like That's what you want, but I don't think I don't think spot if I would like that

I'm not talking about you raping somebody but I'm talking about like you want to go back to that Well, it's great, but it's also great. What's all making love the first time To I just want you I want the guests but see there's it's here's the thing when you have when you're going through a list That is that it's it's a huge. It's not just Me it's like music I haven't heard of like because I started doing the podcast because I I was going through my I went through a midlife crisis when I turned 38 I know that sounds funny, but if I'm lucky I get another 38 years You know what I mean every day is a fucking gift and I was like

I want to feel the way that you felt when we put that song on by the platters I want to feel like that every fucking day and Musically I was so tapped out And so I remember like you know my buddy Angela that passed away loved Rolling Stone And he was like we always talk about that 500 greatest album lists they made and I was like, you know what? I'm gonna listen to an album a day And I'm gonna do it over 500 days because I want to experience or like you talking about beggars banquet I've never listened to that. I know Rolling Stones, but I know the hits

I never dug into an album and I was like that's where the real music Well, the thing about the Stones is the reason why I mentioned the Stones is Because let's say we discussed black and blue They went to Jamaica to record that out The Stones used to go to different locales. Yeah, dude. Do they have such they have such a cool history about About how when they I because I remember we you know, they rented Whatever the house in france exile on main street. Yeah, because they were wanted for tax evasion In fucking england

And they had a heart. I don't know if this is the exact story They sounds like it sounds like shit. They did they that's how come exile main street is such a great out because it came from That's so good. We need though sweet virginia is one of the greatest songs I've ever heard in my life But that's the thing is that I I Like there's so many good albums out there that I've never listened to because like most people and like like you and you and all of us We're stuck in our ways with the music that we listen to do you know what I mean? Like whatever we listen to and when we were in high school and college for the most part

That's pretty much what we still listen to and I was listening to stone double pilots and guns and roses and fucking radio head And all the shit I love the Beatles and I was like dude, but I want to experience what's been made and instead of looking Into the future of what's coming out now. There's all this great music that's already been made And that list is the greatest recorded music in the history of mankind That's been put on the way out But that's according to rolling stone. No, that's different. You also panned out all the Led Zeppelin albums They said they didn't like the Led Zeppelin. No, but they but dude like I think they've got like Five albums in there. Yeah, they do it. It's not like they're lower like dude

Manager was six foot nine two eighty. Yeah, that's why Peter Grant had it down the rolling stone I am not saying that smack some chinese people. Shit from the chinese guy from almost famous. Oh, yeah Yeah, I'm not saying that that list is definitive in the sense that you know, there are when you get like from where I'm at Right now because right now we're at 438 question Yeah, has anybody gone on the podcast and said josh, I appreciate you giving me this album. It was total garbage Yeah, uh, kyle canane what kyle canane did uh public image ltd. Do you know them? So it's a post punk band Uh, the lead singer for the sex pistols started a band called ltpl. I'm sorry. Yeah pl so public image ltd and

Here's the thing so I put it on And it's good the album's called metal box I put it on because I listen to everything at least eight times I give it the respect it deserves because I understand that when you listen to an album Sometimes it takes a few times before you get it So I really sit there and I dig in and then I do one long pass where I sit with headphones on And I read the lyrics and I write what I liked I pick out the parts that I liked You know my read I have these researchers that give me all the facts and give me the song meanings and all this

Shit and then I kind of like put it all together and figure out how I'm gonna talk to my guest about each song And I put up I put up pl And I go this is the worst piece of shit. I've ever heard in my life. Why is that on this list? It shouldn't be it sounds like a mess the editing is bad the mixing is bad. There's no melodies the lyrics are fucking stupid and And then I was like, I don't know how I'm gonna get through this eight times But I said I'm gonna because I have to because I want to give a real honest opinion And so day three still hate it day four hate it even more day eight comes

And at this point I've listened to it, you know seven eight times and I went to bed And I woke up the next morning and I started humming this song Which was impossible for that album because there's no melodies song called pop tunes And I was just like bugged in to run Tuesday Ski belong do do and then I put the record on and I sit there for a second and I go That's the greatest album ever made man. Jeez. That's the that's the post-punk bitches brew. It's genius. It's fucking genius That's what I'm saying. That's why I don't think it's fair also because I need time

No, and I and I want you to clean my room. I need to smoke some dope to what I did I need to write. Yeah and leave it on I need to fall in love with a hook And then sometimes it just you read a book that is fucking highly credited It's a new york times bestseller your 30 pages in and every every fucking page is a dead sentence And then you put the book away, you know, it's the same thing It's the same thing with fucking music for a guy like me If I gotta listen to something like I can't stand that fucking white dude that white people like

Wait, who's that? Wait, who is it? Lee? Who's he talking about? I don't know The white dude that white people like that was that's like that's a serious one like this dude Who's winning the fucking right now? He's in the lead for the hall of fame. I can't stand Dave Matthews Oh I don't want him in the room with me I died was because he bought his bus That's the kiss of death. I don't like Dave Matthews at all. How you do this?

How can you not like it's marching that's all? No, no, no, it's like she I'm not gonna say it's I'm not putting up there What's the other the fucking idiot? And people love his lyrics you don't like springsteen when they think that deep when people from the white people think that deep He's not sure. No, he's no way. He should not springsteen. He's from jersey. You you have to excuse me. I'm from northern New Jersey Okay, trust me. There was difference. I was parties. We walked in and said Springsteen's coming off the turntable You walked in you really gotta turn him off. I had friends that were going to ask and break your springsteen out Really? I thought everybody in jersey love springsteen part of jersey

You're more of a you're more of a jump on jovie fan Florentine isn't it? I'm not gonna take growing up. I was not a springsteen fan I like 10th avenue freeze out. I like born to run. Yeah. Now. I like the river Now years later. There's a couple things I like When I was in raised to like springsteen and I tell you who else I was raised to hate when I was getting raised in heels Because nobody would shut the fuck up about the fucking you know, I could imagine you know I mean, I mean you you couldn't go to a fucking show Like man, I went to see divo last night fucking coolest show in the fucking world

Yeah, but the Beatles are better. Wait till they get back together. Really? Everybody busted your balloon with the fucking Beatles. I went to see black sabre last night. They were great Yeah, but wait till the Beatles get back together the day John Lennon got shot. I laughed and all those motherfuckers faces How then what are we gonna get it together now? What are you gonna do now? What are you gonna do now? I remember the first John Lennon wasn't even fucking dead 12 hours There was a portion of him in our high school and somebody had already put an extra room with a spray paint That's how fucking cold brother. We were at my high school about god Listen, I come from a hometown that I could call you

A racial slur and your mother's a west combat boots and she's a whore And you'd probably walk away with walk away from me. I came from a town where we could smack each other over Van Halen Like you said what bitch Van Halen two sucks, but you know what so does your mother no What have you been listening to there was a kid that was from my block. Yeah When I after my mom died, I moved from giving that terrace the benders threw me out and lived on 85th street And we were all heavy metal fans, but this guy actually thought he was any Van Halen We loved Van Halen. What do you mean? He played guitar? He just or he just he just yeah, he grew his yeah

Okay, yeah, so he just Van Halen ethos. Yeah, I love I love him. I still talk to him He came from a a family of five brothers and his dad was short And we would bust his dad's ball. We send them pizzas and shit. Who the fuck sent me a pizza. Yeah We would fuck us. Oh, that's that's the best dude. Yeah order food to somebody's house Before caller ID with some cabs to his house One day we said we called the priest from our Lady of Libra And we go mr. Tabasco's dying go over there and say you're less

The guy that mr. Tabasco, what are you doing awake? I mean we used to torture him. Oh my I still talk to guy I don't talk to Ray that much anymore The older brother worked at the inspection, but he had one brother that was a Van Halen fan And we all used to get together and go as soon as you see him Just bad mouth Van Halen Bro, his face would get red. He'd come out with albums. He'd break guitars. I mean, we would have him going crazy That's how we like Van Halen The you know, it's funny because I'm I'm I'm I'm a Van Halen fan in in the sense that like I love jump

I love Panama. I only know the hits really But the people that love Van Halen Everyone that I've met that's loved they fucking Love Van Halen man. It's it's it's you know, you can't say anything bad about them or I love Van Halen one Phenomenal Van Halen two men's immortal women and children really, you know, like I like that one song. It's like Tomorrow no, but that's Sammy Hagar I got busted with coke at uh at Sammy Hagar's Cabo Wabbo and Cabo San Lucas. I'm talking about I'm talking about David Lee Roth

Van Halen, it's the best the first album was amazing Van Halen two was men's immortal women and children first was okay, but the problem was they had a picture of him hanging In the middle when you open the album, there was a poster of David Lee Roth hanging in a corner with chains That's it the album one in the garbage Anybody's house we went to that had that album got in the garbage Yeah Look too much Dave when they came back then they think it was diver down and that really sucked

Oh coming out around the world. Are you ready? Yeah, it's but damn when them motherfuckers came out with that mean street I don't know that one That's why I'm doing the podcast joey's because I Yeah, there's so much one that video was an MTV when you go home tonight. I can't play because they'll take it down We'll watch that for the show You watch van halen 81 if this is love that was one of the early rotation videos on MTV and you look at Sammy

No, if this is love, that's a different one. Oh, yeah, you're way behind the fucking spectrum. You better really get it together Hey, man, it didn't seem right Lee. Did it seem right? It's no dude. First of all, the reason I know here's why I'm doing it Stop what said Sammy for starters. I do we're not talking about van here's why I'm doing it This is why I'm the perfect person for it because I feel music like you do I feel it man in my soul, dude I talk about it on stage now where it's like there is nothing better when you got a song in your heart Everything burns brighter. You're just you know, you're walking through life with a little bit of pep in your step You know, because I listen to a song and if I love it, I listen to it 45 times in a row. I can't

Me too. Yes, we're the dude. So we right now. I'm on sound garden tighter and tighter. Oh god That's my favorite song right now. It's just so good dude. It's such a good band And it goes into chris cornell Cochise Goes into fucking rhinos Rhino rhinosaur and then it goes into fallon black bays. That's the real We with burr. We played a rhinosaur uh at the god damn comedy jam and we were like, we're even said he's like We're about to do a sound garden fan and everybody's like, yeah, and he goes

It's not one you all know and I mean we fucking crush that shit It's all like off beat and just for me It was fun because I was singing for him and and it's like to be able to sing like a chris cornell Because like you're no danger. You can't but I mean yeah, that song is Dude, if like you're standing with my enemies But you ever you ever listen to him sing I was gonna say

That but that dude's voice is perfect dean has one of the best voices I've ever heard and for ac dc. He's right on. Oh, I've I every any time he's done the jam I went to his birthday parties where he's done like the full albums all the way through And I just sit in the audience in awe where I'm like Jesus Christ man that dude was made to be a rock singer. So all props to him man. He's You know, I'm more of like a like a scott wiland. Do you know what I mean? Like I sing in that like And he's more like

I can't do that. I blew my vocal chords and I'd have surgery on him a few years ago Every time he starts singing I make him smoke weed smoke weed So but you you said something it's like the reason the reason I'm doing the podcast and I'm getting the audience To listen to this music is because there's so much great music that everybody thinks I knew But I don't so I'm I me and the audience are you know, each week we're listening to like this week. We just did Uh with Neil deGrasse Tyson. We did sam cook live at the Harlem club 1963 Uh, I only knew a change gonna come Stand by me those songs by by sam cook

This album has like changed my life It has made me a better person because you're you find out the story behind it in each episode that he that he fought for like Wouldn't play in set and you know, it's segregated clubs and like this was his attempt to like Really, you know, like show like the the the audience is what he could do and and then They shelve the album for fucking 30 or 22 years Because his you know, the record label thought he was being too black in it But it's like perfect and I post it on on uh on my instagram that this is the homework that everybody needs to do

And I can't tell you how many of the fans are like or people that I know Thank you, this is like thank you for letting me listen to this But also like dude, this is one of the best records like There's so many albums that we don't know about that that everybody should listen to because listen I don't I'm not saying they're not going to make another classic, you know But in all in all honesty, dude, you get down To the final like 200 on that list and that's it. You're talking you're talking jimmy hendrix. You're talking Otis redding marvin gay your favorite band the Beatles fucking the beach boys like fucking pet sounds

I mean, that's it. Those are the greatest albums. You see how many albums they sold this year Who the the Beatles or the beach boys is the first time since 1987 that vinyl had also dvd by thousands That hundreds of millions it's back. Yeah, and I'm very happy That it's back. I'm very happy. I say in the corner system You know the guys like uh, you find true that they were interviewing people on me, but yeah day Yeah, christmas eve or two days after christmas On me, but the great this year with albums and people like oh you find treats in there

And i'm like listen, you don't find the treat until you open up. You see a pot seed That's when you know that was a real album because that's you know, that was the most I used to break up the weed on them Yeah, dude, you got the album you brought it home. Your mom works till five dad works till five We get high we break the thing up and you put the album and then we each got a turn reading the fucking lyrics And the cover it was it was a thing. Yeah, they wonder why nobody's buying them because you just download it There's no story because you say I remember nothing There's no art We used to take my dad's these some of my dad's records and we used to when we broke the weed up

You break it up up top because you have that shitty swag. We said the seeds would roll down. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah The weed would stay up top. Oh, that's why when you go to for when you now that's what you're looking for I guess I was by uh, I had to go to the art doctor And I turned around I was going to turn around and go to the one on right up the corner from portos Oh They have a atomic records. Oh, wow. Yeah, I never I never I need this. I need to get more records, man We talked about them and two days later. What's his name one in there? And he said I heard it on Joey Diaz's show I didn't even know it was here when I did the show with

The the punk rock guy that was on sons of anarchy. He played white supremacist He didn't know and I guess Henry Rawls Henry Rawlins didn't know that was there. I go Henry. It's been there fucking years I guess fucking two days later What's his name one in there because he didn't know that was a record store. He listened to Henry Rawlins his podcast The other guy don't took it. The don't took it the beautiful people Marilyn Manson Marilyn Manson went in there because what he heard Henry Rawlins and me talking about

So I went in there two days later. He goes, you know, Marilyn Manson came in here and said he heard about us on the church I was like, fuck. I'm happy. God. That's so cool. That is so cool, man Well, I don't think you realize that and I've said this to you is like you're you're a guru for so many people like you're You're like Eckerd Tolle like you don't I don't think you realize there's no work at toll I could totally write these books. His whole background is about being present It's like it's about getting out of your ego and just being present and being able to enjoy this moment because That was you know, something that I dealt with for years I'd be hanging out with guys like you that I look up to and burr and and

You know and burr just whoever and I would just be in my head like oh god, I hope I'm I'm not acting like an idiot I hope I'm cool But that's just I wanted people to like me instead of just being there and being in the moment So what he does is talk about like how Yeah, we've got all this baggage But fuck that shit like leave your pain body aside And and just be living the now because that's the only moment that you have and so this By thinking like that you you start realizing that this moment right here because we don't have the past

We don't have the future all we have is right now. This is the best moment of our lives Do you know what I mean? Because it's the only thing that's palpable. I can touch this I can do that I can't go in the past and grab this water bottle so When you wake up in the morning and you hit a bowl and you write I want you to wash your balls and fucking go out there and attack the day You don't understand That's like the most positive

shit in the fucking world To tell us some people that that normally aren't going to read ecotole So they're getting these positive things from you So you don't know it, but you're a fucking good group. I write what I tell myself Exact exact. Hey, listen, there's nobody lazy and I am there's nobody fucking More scared to go out. You know, I'm surprised I get on the plane. I mean, I really am guys I wish I was lying to you guys and telling you how many fears I have But if I had the time to think about them, I wouldn't be who I am. I wouldn't be a human being

I'd just be a scared person living in the house playing monopoly by himself That's what I was built to do when I was a kid. I loved doing models Who builds models nerds who want to be alone and don't want to be bothered So everything I do, I gotta force myself to do You don't force yourself to do something by going Well, I really don't feel like going over to fanny's. I'm gonna stay here. You go. No Fanny cooked mashed potatoes and fucking meatloaf. She Went on a fucking wave for you today

You know, she probably shaved a monkey get up Stop being a fucking faggot because that's how you're acting. You're acting like a fucking faggot, you know You know me nights. I want to cancel the comedy store Every night every day every night. Yeah at a quarter day. I'm like, what excuse can I come up with so I don't have to go So I have to come up with 28 years of doing comedy still Saying to yourself What excuse do I have to tell myself not to go down there and this has been going on since day one

What's the excuse going to be tonight? What am I canceling this open mic? And you sit there on your couch and you go, I'm gonna cancel all of a sudden Somebody has to it's like I didn't have a parent. So how to be my own parents. You know what? You're a lousy sack of shit. You're a fucking loser. That's the truth. Your dear. You're a fucking loser. You got a gd You went to prison. You got no time to sit on that fucking couch You got to earn this on that couch get the fuck up and get your ass to the store Go to the store and then you gotta go home then go home then go home and sit on the couch Because you do whatever the fuck you want because you deserve it

But go to the store. Yeah, you know how many nights I walked to that quaff machine And i'm gonna be honest you guys I do a four fucking espresso shot Two is for pussies I do four to get me over the hill to go on stage to yell like a lunatic for 15 minutes And then I run home and I fucking hide I don't go to yum yum donuts. I don't go to fucking know where to hang out What do you think because i'm a scared little fucking boy So every all those things I post

Is what i'm saying to me that day completely how am I gonna get out of this house? You know what it's Wednesday The birds are chirping the sun is out. It's time to get your dick sucked Everybody wants everybody wants to go to heaven, but nobody wants to fucking die people people ask me for advice all the time About how I created this or how I did this or how I got this sold and I'm just like you It's like you put love into it and if you if you don't think about the reward you just enjoy the work You love the work The reward is the fact that I get to wake up every day and do something that I love I love stand-up comedy

I love listening to music. I love hanging out with my friends and people that love me and even people that don't love me I love hanging out with them too. I'm just like, hey cool. Yeah, you know, I'm be I'm me But that's the thing is anytime I give somebody advice I'm just I'm just hearing myself say it so I can remind myself Now you got to work hard. You got to skip all the bullshit You can't lay on your ass because if you lay on your ass, then nothing's gonna get done You have to you have to work work and work. Nobody does nothing that they want to do. Yeah Nobody nobody wants to do dick all four of us in this room right now

To rob halford he wants to do dick wish all four of us right now wish our own wish We all remember that rich kid in high school. Why does he 28 when he was 16? And he had the pool and we were all like look at my fucking parents that loses I got stuck with these fucking stiffs. I got a fucking ford fucking jacobi You know a three that's missing the door. I got to close the door with a bungee And we all wanted to be that fucking rich kid. Remember? Oh, yeah, and we didn't want to Bobby Vellani Yeah, we all have that one name. Yeah, they went to the they did everything We all wanted to be that fucking person. Well, guess what me too, but god didn't throw me that hand

God threw me a hand. He made me ugly. He made me fucking eat your door By the way, and you got to go out and earn your fucking. Yeah, nobody wants to do three causes. Should they do trust me? I know I love my job. No, you know If it's between your job and binge watching narcos and some chinese chick rubbing your feet What would you rather be doing? Do you love your job that much? Well, I guess you got me there. Okay, dude. I got a I got a dog that is like It's the sweetest doberman you've ever met in your life like this. I can show you a picture of it Would just melt your heart. She's just the most loving creature in the world

And there are girls that are like I like let's go out on a date and then I look at my dog and I'm just like Yeah, I think you know after my set I'm probably just gonna go home and and just chill because That that this is that's what I want. Like, you know what I mean? Like Like I don't have time to to go out on a date find out that we're not gonna get along I already can I already can say I'm probably not gonna be with this girl It's just I've gotten everything in my life down to a place where it's like I do what I want to do when I want to do it and I don't like You know put myself in situations that I don't want to do that's not saying that I you know every night

I want to go out and do stand-up. I I do always want to go out and do stand-up But there is that moment where it's like it's just like dude I could I could just stay here and just be with that dog and just but you know because I got to work But I also but the thing is either with me I love stand-up comedy so much that on a night that I don't have a show I get a little sad I'm like, I mean, I could have nothing the whole day. I could have nothing the whole day But if I've got a five-minute guest spot

Somewhere or I'm doing fucking, you know a bar show out in Tustin Like that gets me happy and the rest of the day just burns a little bit brighter But I've gotten it down to the point now where I I'm working on only things that I want to work on like I work on the podcast Dude yesterday. What days of the podcast comes out every Wednesday on spot on spotify But on every platform, but it's a spotify original podcast and it's and it's great One day you will do it. We know that Burrs done it this week. We had Neil deGrasse Tyson. We've had Wanda Sykes We've had and dude. This is the coolest shit, dude

Is that we've had actual musicians that have worked on the record like we did the pokes rum Sodomy in the lash and we had james fernley who's one of the founding members of the pokes He's the accordion player and he just gave us the whole fucking story Excuse me. Go ahead. Anybody who plays the accordion I don't even want to hang out with you. All right Knock the fuck off. He was actually a guitarist that he's actually David Gilmore from pink Floyd. No, no, no, but he do. I don't want the fucking guy that plays it. I get it. I get it I get it. Why do I play the tambourine?

He did not play the tambourine the accordion is a little bit bigger than the goddamn tambourine Let me tell you something that motherfucker playing guitar and then they showed up with an accordion He said who could play this and he goes I'll try and then he started figuring it out Like right there you gotta listen to say james. You're a good guy. You can see now He plays guitar with like a bunch of other guys in like the drop kit murphy's. I know you are but it's like He's the he's the fucking man, dude But we had we had when we did the divo episode. We had uh, josh frees on who was the drummer for divo We've we've like and what's so cool and this is this is where it gets where the podcast is just getting better and better and better

Is right now we're doing albums that a lot of people don't know But a lot of people the people that are listening we have good numbers people that listen these records They're hitting me. I'm like, oh my god this album is I never thought I'd like this and it's blowing my mind And we're getting great guests But we've got a booker for the show and so we're reaching out to people like collin ferrell and jason mimowa and and like, you know, I'm trying to get fred durst for nirvana and just And we're reaching out for people so big because in my head when I get down to the final 10 Like I'm gonna have oprah like I'm getting oprah because I'm gonna get paul mccartney for sergeant pepper because it's gonna grow

And it's just we're you know Certain albums people that might not do podcasts are like dude This album by led zeppelin means so much to me that I have to go on and talk about it because I love it It's a part of our lives like music is a part of our lives more than more than the you know, like uh, you know Your parents sometimes just that you connect with dude appetite for destruction changed my life You know stuntable pilots court changed my life, man, and I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for those two records I wouldn't be here if I didn't watch george carlin on comic relief with my dad when I was six years old so you have that that there's something about art that just

encompasses us and So we're reaching out to these huge names saying hey, we want you to do this record now and they go no no no no no I'm not doing it now Two years in two years when this record comes up hundred percent. I'll be there. So it's That's right. I know and I respect and that's what's cool because we're finding the people I'd rather have you do a record that is in your soul And and that because that means something and that means something to the audience when I had when I had joey joey de ross on For epmd strictly business

One of the best one of the best episodes we've ever done because that dude had noose everything about it He knew all the facts and all the history and that's what I want But also I do like it because I there's joey that's it's hard sometimes to find Right, you know somebody for fucking echo in the bunnyman So I gotta like book it because every episode comes out on the buckingman You better I tried you for zizi top mother fucking you know that you listen to zizi Annie lederman on that one and she she actually did uh, she actually did fucking What did she do? Oh, she did cheap trick uh in color

Because we had I was gonna have uh this comic on not gonna say his name But because he's gonna do another one eventually But he was like, yeah, I love cheap trick and then he listened to in color and then he goes I hate this record. I can't go on there. I was like, no, no, no, you gotta come on because you hate it That's great. Like I love that like it's sometimes it's about the discovery I might just go on just to fucking tear band up that I don't like You know what? I would love that. Call me when you get prints. Listen Prince's prince prince is my root. I'll forget my root offer

I was someone like prince. How can you hate prince? I don't hate prince. Oh, I thought you did. Oh, you want to do it To I think you're talking to it. Call me when you get prince Obviously, you can't get him because he's fucking dead. Oh, that's the fucking joke. What's the website cut this part out What's the website? You can it to find out the show there's the show is called the 500 with josh out of mires Go to the 500 podcast dot com And what's cool is we get every guest to make like a mixtape and then we turn into a spotify playlist So we can get inside the musical mind of of joey ds and bill burr and see what they really listen to

Episodes come out every wednesday It's it's my favorite thing in the world, man. I love making this dude. I spent six hours yesterday Breaking down little wanes lyrics from the card of three and it made me realize I ain't shit. So All I know is just just join the fucking movement, man Like what's cool is even if you don't listen to the record I use the facts and the song meanings to interview my guests So i'm like, oh, they were talking about this here. Have you ever experienced that? So it's all encompassing. It's it's I we work really hard on it and

Join the fucking journey, man, because it doesn't end until may 31st 2028 motherfuckers I love you cocksuckers. Don't forget This weekend. I will be friday night fox theta and bakersfield saturday night towel with theta and fresno And the second show the first show sold out the tabernacle theta

and we got a A second show. I let 9 30 net land on the 25th of january. I love you. Josh Adam. I love you more than you know Thank you for coming on. Thank you now for a word from our sponsors. All right. I want to thank josh Adam Myers don't forget to catch him on bill burry's show. It's probably on youtube now on comedycentral.com But I want to thank manscape for getting the church to you every week. You know, why? Because they're the best in bull tremors. They got stuff. You never even think of fucking They got a thing called the perfect package that you get the lawnmower

You're like joy. What's the lawnmower? The lawnmower is a tool that was created by manscape to shave your fucking nut sack And to clean around the dick pole to keep everything smelling tremendous. You understand me? They got this thing called the perfect package that you get the lawnmower with a pair of anti-shaving boxes That won't scratch your sack plus they're gonna throw in the crop preserver A deodorant for your balls and the one I like the revival Let me tell you something It's a spritz that tones and refreshes your nut sack and keeps it cool My i'm 56 my nut sacks all fucking wrinkled. It looks like a bad elbow

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That vitamin e acetate that's killing motherfuckers. They've got what else they got they got bath Balls now that you put a nice hot bath You drop a bath ball in there and cbd lion covers you. You don't know how many times I use those For my hamstring They got a lotion that's second to none. What I'm gonna tell you is if you're in the market for cbd CBD lion is how to do it. Don't stop on a cbd store or some liquor store or fucking buy You're gonna go to some fucking tennis store to buy fucking cbd. What the fuck do they know? They're just trying to make a profit uncle joey knows I've grown up in this shit

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They've done wonders for me for my hamstring and they'll do wonders for you. I want to thank fucking Josh out of my eyes. I want to thank the christ killer, but most importantly, I want to thank you guys. Don't forget tomorrow night Bakers field and still tickets left me and george parez Fresno sold out and then the following week on the 25th mother fucking atlanta with my man steve simone We're doing two shows the first show sold out the second show. You still got tickets left. Who do you think you're fucking with? I love you guys Have a great fucking weekend and we'll see you monday morning

Tip top magoo ready to fucking go. Stay black