Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #754 - Josh Potter

Episode Date: January 23, 2020

Josh Potter, a stand up comedian and one of the producers of "Your Mom's House" and the rest of the YMH Studio podcasts,  joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   Butcher Box - Go to www.ButcherBox.com/church You get $20 off your first box and free shipping in the lower 48 states. PLUS: when you use code: church you get free chicken wings for the life of your subscription.  

Oh shit, early Rick James out of respect Buffalo, New York and the motherfuckin' house. Oh yeah, 1978, you motherfuckin' youngsters. This is Rick James, now he's the old name, the white bitch. Snackin' them before, oh shit. What? Oh shit. You wanted to go. You and me. We are the closest. Reading some podcasts, Bill, you bad motherfuckers. It's Thursday, what? Thursday. The 23rd, whatever the fuck it is, who gives a shit? You're alive, you're fuckin' smokin' dope.

Most importantly, you're ready to sling fuckin' dick. Listen, the song of the day out of respect for Buffalo is You and I by Rick James 78. Put that on right now on YouTube. That's when black people are black people. Even Martin Luther King popped up and said Jesus, you're on fire, Rick. Anyway, the church of what's happened now is brought to you and I want to welcome them because I fuckin' love this shit. Butch your box. Listen, the big game is right around the corner next week. That means you're going to have a party, which means you're going to have a bunch of fuckin' savages tearing through your refrigerator, eating up all your food.

Hopefully you'll have some class and you won't feed these people fuckin' hummus or a bowl of potato chips or veggie plate because you're a fuckin' savage. This year, level your game the fuck up and give them Butch Your Box. You're like, Joey, what's Butch Your Box? Butch Your Box is a subscription service that sends you 9 to 11 pounds of high quality, humanly raised, organic meat every month. They ship it frozen in vacuum seal so it arrives as your door as fresh as a fuckin' pussy out of the shower. You understand me? Last night I had the fuckin' salmon

and my wife made like a little cape with lemon sauce on top and it was fuckin' tremendous. She took out two steaks tonight to take a look and I'm gonna give Lee a couple burgers. They sent this. Listen, it is sensational. I'm usually not big on these food services, but lately with the meat shit you gotta take care of yourself with the organic. What I'm gonna do is this. They got free-range chicken, heritage pork, wild caught salmon, grass-fed beef, but they got something that all you motherfuckers love. You ready since I'm talkin' about buffalo? You ready? Wings.

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Not none of that shit. It's Frank's hot sauce and a stick of butter and you whip it around and you put them in there and then you take it out and you fuckin' sift them. If you're not gonna do that and cut up nice blue cheese with a nice piece of celery, don't deal with me no more. Don't even listen to this fuckin' podcast. Go to Poyo Loco and I hope you choke to death. Anyway, the church is also brought to you by Zip Recruiter. It's a new year. The perfect opportunity to take your business to the next level by hiring the right people, but finding qualified candidates can be challenging.

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Ziprecruiter.com slash church. Let me spell out church for you because you might be a little stupid today. I'm a little out of it. C-H-U-R-C-H. Ziprecruiter.com slash church. The smartest way to hire. As long as the day is you and I play it. Kick that fucking meal, Lee. Anyway, there ain't no meal to kick. I had to send them back because everybody's getting in trouble these days, you know what I'm saying? I can't wait until they come back to me and say, hey, Joey, you're in trouble because you told Lee to kick that fucking meal.

But anyway, I don't give a fuck about meals except two meals for Sister Sarah. My main man is here today representing Buffalo. What's up? Fucking great little comedian, Josh Potter. Thanks so much for having me, dude. I've known you since before the glasses. And I gotta tell you, you've made me very proud the last couple months. Number one, I know you've been here for about a year.

A little over, well, almost two years. It's so crazy how you see, you go to different comedy clubs and you see comics and a hundred of them tell you what their plans are and you talk to them and you try to talk to them as honestly as you can. I've always spoken to you and then you see them out here and you try to give them love or whatever in the beginning. This is what I've learned and I've learned that they go home within the first six months. For sure.

This is a hard place to make a living. Thank God you were friends with Tom and he loves you with all his heart. Yeah, I'm so thankful. I've had a thousand conversations with Tom and, you know, you gave me a little gig on the podcast to put a little change in your pocket. You're doing some work around town. So I really applaud what you're doing. I'm very, very, very, very proud.

That means so much. Thank you very much. No, you know me, Doug. I'm down with... Don't call me up at two in the morning and tell me about your plans because I don't want to fucking hear them. Right. And I don't like talking about that kind of shit.

I want to see what the fuck you're doing out here around town. Josh Potter was there and you're very likable. Oh, thanks. Every day he talks, says they love you. I know you were on a podcast a couple of weeks ago and somebody actually called me and said, listen to this podcast with Potter. He goes, fuck an ape shit.

And I go, let me tell you something. Potter, you know, you remind me of Potter, why I've always fallen in love with you and I've never told you. Who's that? The guy that told me that basically threatened my life. He was, listen to this. He was built like you. Wow.

He looked like you. He had glasses like you. He had the intelligence of, you know, name it. He ran the prison library. Nice. He was from Buffalo. Wow. And he had murdered his wife and the male man

because he was fucking the wife or something. He was on a tail end of a 30 year, you know, whatever, 20 year, whatever. And he didn't say much. He rolled his own cigarettes. He was just a bite. He hung out with another dude from Buffalo. We have like four guys in the prison from Buffalo.

Wow. All the way out there. Yeah. They get together and watch the bills and talk shit. One guy was big T, big motherfucking black dude, his family on the barbershop in Buffalo. You ever come to Buffalo, come to the corner. Okay.

There's a thousand corners. Yeah. Yeah. And, and this librarian and me and this librarian became tight and there was, we even did acid. Oh, nice. We got some acid gotten in there because they couldn't test you for acid.

Okay. And he was a hallucinogenic guy. So me, him and a Crip named Torrey Piles, like they would be, we were in barracks, army barracks, and there would be a guard that would drive around once an hour. And, you know, some night you can't sleep. You're allowed to go outside and sit on the barracks and read a book.

This night, all three of us were fucking flying. We're fucking flying on this. In prison. I can't. And I mean, this is acid. Acid in prison. This was like real. Like you're tripping in your room.

Yeah. You know, you're fucking, the lights are on. You think the cops are coming. Yeah. They live, the cops are, are there. And finally I get like a knock on my door and it's the Crip. And he's like, man, I can't take it in my room no more. I go, all right, let's go get the librarian.

We're getting more libraries. Like, thank God you came. I was just trying to see like devils and shit. So I remember sitting outside on a bench. You know, you think about prison. You see these movies and you think about, but no matter where you go in this life, whether it's on a negative or a positive,

you always meet two or three people that are tight that make that part of your life a lot easier. And these two guys, I own my life. And I'm sitting there with them and we're fucking outside and the birds are sounding like hawks. You know, at two in the morning, a little chip, chip. Sounds like fucking. Then the sprinklers went on and we were fucking really parrot.

We're like, I'm asking. And the guard came and he's like, what the fuck are you guys still doing up? I'm like, we couldn't talk. We're talking about a shipment of meat coming in or some bullshit. Because we all work in the kitchen. So except the librarian. So I don't know what happened.

And at one point the librarian goes, I got to go to the bathroom. He disappeared for like a half a mile. We just lost him. And Torrey Powell's decrypt looked at me. He goes, how fucking crazy are we? We're doing acid with a guy that stabbed his wife to death in a mailman because I'll never forget this. That was my buffalo story.

That's so fucking wild because you're right. Like a murderer on acid could have like a moment. Yeah. And he was like, he was a sweetheart. There was no mental health issues. He was a genius. He was very smart. I learned a lot from him.

You know, I remember I was like the house lawyer. And he did all my work. Oh, he did all the paperwork. Because he just did it out of doing it. Oh, that's cool. Like just to help me because he was that smart. He was initiative. He was just, he read that New York Times front to back every day.

You know, it's just buffalo has always been just so fucking. I have such a connection to buffalo that let's say got my connection to Jersey. I met a girl from Buffalo and I started going to Buffalo and I fell in love with the city and they told me the history of the city. You know, Fisher Price left and all these companies left and they were left with their dick in the hand.

You were probably there in the nineties when it was like real shitty. Everyone was moving to fucking Charlotte. I was there in 84. Okay. So you saw the downturn like the whole way through. I was there in 84, 85, 86. We would go.

It was a family thing. And they were tremendous. They were Polish. Yeah. And the fucking food was just sensational. And I remember telling somebody once like, I'm going to Buffalo or Dukami. Like that's the asshole of the world.

I actually really, really got insulted. Like you don't know Buffalo. Yeah. Like unless you've been to Buffalo, you know, when you go to fucking Wegmans and you look at like Lee wouldn't come back. You really? Like I know Lee. I know.

I dated a girl from Rochester and she told me about Wegmans. You would live inside Wegmans for sure. Lee, you just would not. The old, I remember I go back to Buffalo or Rob Liedemann. Yup. When he paid nothing and there was a nightmare of a club. Yeah. And then I went back when there was a funny bone there.

In the mall. And that was sensational. That was cool. That was the first club in the country that was doing blue shows. Oh, no shit. Friday nights and Canadians would come over. Yeah. They love coming over.

They would come out no matter who it was. True blue on Friday nights at 11. Wow. So it was like seven, nine and 11. I was like a little kid back then. And they, the owners, it was a great club because it was across the street from Wegmans. The Wegmans. Yeah.

Yeah. And the condo was 50 feet away. Right. So you'd cross the street and they'd have these fucking fresh wings. I'm not talking about these California HIV wings. You bite into them and they've been glued together. Yeah. It's brown meat.

I'm talking about, you bite into a drumstick way. Wow. Like you're eating steroids and you don't give a fuck. I can't wait to go to Buffalo and try wings. Why can't they have wings everywhere? I don't understand. It's 2020. Why don't they have wings everywhere?

You know, I made a statement on Rogan years ago on people. Some people took it the right way and some people took it the wrong way. Listen, there's a thousand. I was watching dives, drives and normal meals. And there's a place over here in Glendale. I went there a few times for Cuban food. I don't know, guys. I got Viagra three weeks ago.

I started taking it. I'm a traditional type of dude. Yeah, yeah. I really am. You know, I haven't whacked off in three fucking weeks. Wow. And I'm because I can't get a hard on this ever since I hurt my hamstring. I mean, the dick gets kind of hard.

It's like a cocaine type thing. Yeah, no. So until these squats are back up to 300, that's when I get that blood back into that. Right, right, right. I'll be ready to squirt some fucking yum, yum juice on mama. But you don't want to try it? You don't want to fuck with a Viagra at all? No, I'm petrified.

Yeah. I'm petrified. What are you worried about happening? A heart attack or something. I see, yeah. You know, but they said Viagra was invented for your heart. But as long as you're not mixing it with Coke and shit. No, that's usually that's how like Weiland died and all this.

Yeah, I'm not doing that. So that's what scares me. So you're a traditional guy with the wings? I'm a traditional dude. I'm a traditional dude with anything. I give everybody their respect. I'm not going to put ranch on fucking sour cream. I'm not going to put ranch on pizza.

I don't put pineapple on pizza. Pizza was not made to have pineapple on it. This is something that we've created. You know, Taco Bell and Vents shit by the day. Chalupa, even Mexicans. They make words up. Their heads go, what the fuck is Chalupa? So the more you feed into this, the more they're going to keep creating.

And listen, I appreciate different things. I really do. I appreciate you trying and your efforts, but guess what? I don't want your fusion fucking Chinese. I want the original stuff. And then when I go to Buffalo, I go to the hotel room dog. I swear to God, whatever hotel I go to, I go to the room. I put my shit down.

I roll the fucking joint while it's dry and I go on Uber. And I see what it's going to cost me to go to Dubs. And it really doesn't matter. Yeah. They open another one. I don't care if they open downtown. It's $66. I call the feature and I go be downstairs in five minutes.

I Uber and I go right to Dubs. And, you know, it used to be the ankle bar. I think I went to the ankle bar once. It wasn't for me. Dubs is way better. Dubs is way better. Anchor was where it was started and where they use blue cheese. You know, Buffalo has been getting fucked in the ass for 2000 years.

Mainly the major league baseball. Really? Buffalo Bisons have been the number one attendance. I don't know if it's still alive today. I mean, we still crush it on occasion, but they've turned teams over so many times since the 90s that it's like the product on the field was shitty for like 10 years. Like when we were the Mets affiliate and shit. But back when we were the pirates and the Indians and shit, we were crushing it.

The attendance was number one for minor league baseball since the 50s. Wow. And they went out there. I don't know what year it was, maybe 90 something. They were thinking of expanding, but they went out there on April 1st and they were walking on a fucking four feet of snow in the outfield. And they were like, we can't have baseball here. Well, it's 2020 and I know you've made innovations with domes.

Yeah. I know you've made innovation. Not only that, if climate change is real, that shit's going to be dried up by the time they fucking build the team. Climate change is real. No, I know. And Buffalo used to get four feet of snow. It's definitely a regular.

I could see them getting 10 feet, 12 feet next company. I was going to say, were you there when they got 11 feet one year? Yeah, that was in 2015. And it was like in a narrow area of the city because it was just like this. They called it a knife storm. It came over the lake and it was like this couple mile wide area of the city, just narrow that had 11 feet of snow in it. It was during football season.

But then also in playing like Tennessee or something. Yeah. We had to move the game to like an away game, but like the craziest part though is that in January, so many times in recent years, there's like a 70 degree day all of a sudden. So that's where I see like, I'm like, this isn't something that I remember as a little kid. Like having stretches of days in the 60s and 70s in January. That's fucked up.

And then in March, you know, shits off the wall in April. Like you said, there's still snow. Sometimes there's snow as late as May. Yeah. It's crazy. It's all over the map. You born and raised in Buffalo? Yeah.

I lived there until I moved here basically 31. Where's the parents from? My dad is born in Egypt and his mother and him moved to Buffalo when he was 17. But he's Greek. He was a Greek guy living in Egypt. He's a Greek in fucking Egyptian. Yeah. Yeah.

Did I bring the other joint up with me? Tell me I left on the car. I left on the car. What type of fucking host am I? Anyway, I'm going to move the smoke under the joint and you get me. I can go get it. I'm going to go fast. I'm a fast man is all I'm saying.

I can run. You sure? Yeah. It's in a bag in the front seat. On the passenger side? On the passenger side. Right in the front seat. There's a bag.

There's three other eights in there. Okay. Just bring the whole bag. Okay. Let's get down. It's a white Subaru. Okay. Thank you, sir.

You're a gentleman in the fucking scarf. No. I've been going to Buffalo for a long fucking time. A lot of people didn't know that. That they were so now they should have a Buffalo. You know. Well, they have Toronto and they have a dome. That's what you're saying.

Yeah. They have a big time now with the technologies and everything that they have. Buffalo was ready for a fucking baseball team. The only reason why I don't know what the fuck's going on. That was 12 years ago. What they don't quote me on this. Just go to Wikipedia and look it up and see when the last time major league baseball. When I was a kid, Buffalo had the bills and they also had the Buffalo Braves and the Sabres.

They sell the Sabres. And then they had the Buffalo Braves as a basketball team. I didn't know about that. Yeah. Randy Johnson. They had a great fucking team for a while as a kid. Not like championship level team, but it the basketball team leaving Fisher Price leaving all these other corporations leaving really, really left when all those corporations left

in the fucking seventies, whether it was Fisher Price, Buffalo Braves, right? The basketball team with Randy Smith on it and shit. It was like, it was like one bad fucking hit after the other for Buffalo. So the economy really went down for years. There was a giant factory that manufactured like cars and parts and stuff closed down. That was like 30% of the jobs or something in the cities. Jesus. It really did.

Bethlehem Steel shut down. It was really sad. Now I'm being in Buffalo doing and you always see that I always say hello to Rod when I go up there. Yeah, Rob. Yeah. He used to work on the other radio station. I'm going to tell you why.

No, yeah, of course. He featured you, right? Rob had a reputation of being like a bad guy or whatever. Like, I remember getting a call and going when you go up there, be careful with him. He's kind of weird and stuff. And I was always very respectful even as a feature act until you disrespected me. And then either I was just going to tell you to go fuck yourself or we were going to box it out or whatever the fuck was going to happen, you know?

And Rob's week started on a Wednesday. And that Tuesday night I was part of the Toyota Comedy Festival. And that's the night when that prick put me up after the salsa band. Oh, Jesus. But something did good happen that I got an audition for the Sopranos from doing that thing. So I had to meet her the next day at 11 o'clock. My bus to Buffalo was at 12 from Port Authority.

So I met her, got in the cab, shot to Port Authority, took the eight-hour bus to Buffalo, got there, did the Wednesday night. And they called Wednesday night and said, we need you back in New York Thursday at 10. So I basically had a hop on a red-eye bus, fucking sleep at Port Authority, washed my face, and at 10, go to a producer's session of the Sopranos and then catch that same bus I caught the day before at 12. Go back. Get back there at 7.30, jump in the shower, go right and do the show.

Oh, my God. And Rob helped me get the sides. Rob helped me audition. Oh, that's great. And I can't forget that. He paid me $450 full week. I'll never forget that. Yeah, he, I mean, him and I had like a tough introduction because we worked on, we worked

in the same building, but they were competing shows, you know? And I was the comedian on this show and he was the comedian on that show and he obviously was a comic for 20-some years and shit. He was your Paris roommate. Yeah, he's been a comic for a million years. He's got a real resume. Of course. Yeah, no.

About Rob Liedemann is that he's not like a fake club owner. Right. Rob Liedemann came out here, gave this shot and figured a better way out for himself. Right, right. And I'm never mad at somebody. Not at all. If Lee comes to me tomorrow and he goes, hey, man, I gotta talk to you about something. Some guy at Worcester is opening up a radio station and he offered me a good job, not

big money, but my mother's getting older and I'm opening the mic in it. I could go to Boulder, do the radio show, because Rob Liedemann invented that whole move. Yeah, I mean, he was making big money and he, Lee, and not going anywhere. That's success. That's how you started, Josh, right? Yeah. Well, mine was the other way around kind of like Rob came out here.

He was doing the road. He was like a headliner and he was a part of the big boom at that time, the 80s boom. And then he got an offer to be on this morning show that was a heritage morning show and it was at the time probably huge money. I mean, it probably was like insane. And so he took that and he also like ran a business and then he opened a club, Comics Cafe, what was it called? Comics Cafe.

Yeah, yeah. And he started running the club out there and was still doing local sets and he ran the whole fire hall circuit. That's why my introduction to Rob was like tenuous at first because I was trying to get into the game. You know what I mean? I was trying to get sets. And Rob was like, you know, you're new or whatever.

So I got it at some point, like it took a couple of years, but I got where he was coming from and we made amends and I just did his show the other day like calling on it. But yeah, so I mean, we're totally cool nowadays, but there was a couple of years there where I didn't think we were cool. Yeah. I never forgot that solid he did for me. Now when I met you, you worked way out of the first time. Now see, that's the thing.

When I met you, I moved to do radio in Cleveland for eight months. Well, got you into Cleveland. Now, were you already doing stand up? You were just doing radio. No, I was doing both. Okay. When did you start stand up? I started stand up in 2008.

Where? In Buffalo. Okay. So I started radio. Nothing was there then. No, it was a bar. That Nietzsche's bar. Yeah.

That was our whole world. Two Tuesday nights there. That was everything. And you had come to do a show later on in life at that bar. With Ari. No, no, no. That was at the town ballroom. That's where I met you.

Yeah. But then you remember when you came back, you came alone and did that bar for the lesbian comic. Yeah. So, but yeah, when I met you, I had just moved to Cleveland to start that radio show. And I was gone maybe like three weeks when we did that gig at the town ballroom it was called. Theater Rock Club.

Me, you and Ari, yeah. And then I went to do that radio show in Cleveland and there was a Rob Liederman that I worked for there. So to speak a comic named Chuck Booms. Do you know who that name is? He used to work with Bud Freeman. He was, he used to close out A&E at the Improv. So he had credits.

He was around. But working with this guy was a nightmare. Like this guy was such a piece of shit. And I just, I was like, I can't work with this guy. And my old show actually offered me a job to come back with like more money and stuff. So I was like, fuck it. I'm going to go back. And I thought that was it for me.

I'm like, I'm just going to die on this radio station or whatever. I'm just going to work here forever. And I did that for about five more years before I came out here. So. Well, you were in Buffalo. Yeah. You got the luck that helium opened. That saved my life.

And that saved your life. Exactly. Buffalo needed a comedy room in a desperate way and Buffalo supports comedy. It does. Like they fucking support comedy. So is it how big is Buffalo? Is it like a medium sized city, small in terms of media markets? It's number like 53 or something like that.

So it's a mid-sized market in terms of media. I don't know what that translates to in other ways, but you know, it's it's decent size. I love Buffalo so much. And I wish I could do more there. I kind of like hit the ceiling. You know, obviously I got into a fight with the radio guy. Yes. That's that's that's the show Rob worked on, right?

Wasn't that the same one? Or was it? No, I got into a fight. It was Portland, a Buffalo Helium. OK, I went in and I said something about if you kick the guys like, well, my kids been getting bullied and I don't know what to do. I go, you can get bullied. You give them some boxing gloves and you teach them how to box. And at the break, the guys took his earphones off.

How dare you say that to me? I go, that's the truth, unless you want to raise a fucking half a fruitcake. So when we went on the air, he kept the conversation going, like how you would raise a child that would hate to be your child. And I'm like, I'm like, punk, your child, the one that's getting bullied. Say one more word and I'll climb across. Oh, we went at it. That's wild. I don't think I was in Buffalo.

And then we went back and forth on Facebook for like an hour. That's what you're saying yourself. You fucking punk. And then people started to hate them. Oh, you fucking asshole. It was tremendous. That's all the club later. And then when I went back to clubs, like, yeah, he doesn't ever want to come meeting again.

That's wild. That wasn't Buffalo. I don't think I would have definitely heard about that. But I I can't believe you remember that first gig we did with Ari. That was like, I knew you might you'd remember me, obviously, from the weekends we did, but I didn't know you'd remember that far back. Because I was like, I remember you had that banana bread and shit. Oh, and I ate like so fucking much of it that I just had a great time.

It was like the best comedy experience of my life to that at that point. You know what I'm saying? Like, because I was three years in or something like that, I couldn't believe I got that hosting gig and I had just moved to Cleveland and I hated it and I was like, I got to get back to what am I doing? Why did I leave? You know, fuck, you know, it's crazy that. I owe Buffalo something. You know, when you become a comic and you're young, you there's a couple cities

after you start rocking that you just want to hit for the tradition of the city. Like, I wanted to go to Houston out of respect for Bill Hicks. I wanted to go to Boston out of respect for all the great comics that have been in Boston. I wanted to go to, you know, there was just little places that I needed to go. North Chapel Hill, North Carolina, because they were my favorite basketball team. Buffalo, I went to just with a girl and I kept going. And then later on the years later, I became a comic and then Rob led him and threw me a fucking curveball.

I was, uh, you know, I'm not going to lie to anybody. I'm a regular at the comic store. Been there about two years. I'm bombing 75% of the time, but not as bad as I was. I had a pile under my belt for CBS. And I think I had just done Matt. No, no, Matt TV would have had a bad, I had nothing. I did a Taco Bell commercial.

I go to Buffalo because I went to Buffalo a couple of times. So I go to Rob led him in the first time. And then the second time I go back for Rob led him in again, but that time we have a problem. Yeah. I'm talking about a big, big, big problem. It's not drugs. Nope. It's not alcohol.

It's a problem. I know what you're going to say. It's a comic. It's a problem that it's a comic snipe man and a comic doesn't know till he gets there. And it's called when your local sports team is in the playoffs. I knew right away. When your local sports team is in the playoffs, there's three types of bars. There's, you know, Buffalo Wild Wings with a bunch of jerks jumping up and down.

Nobody better dollar on the game. Then there's that medium one where they have a little bit more money and they all have jerseys on. And one side is sitting on the other side and it's very fucking. If you got a machine gun and shot them all, nobody would miss them. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. And then there's this elite people that are missing teeth that this is their life. And that's the whole city of Buffalo.

They wake up and read the reports of who got drafted. Yeah. They do. This is their life. You know, Denver. I love you to death. Jesus. I love Jesus.

But if you make a comeback, don't make it there in a Bronco game. Because there's nobody going to be there. I mean, yeah, you're describing me. That's exactly, I mean, I'm the same way. I'm talking about Buffalo. Yeah. I can't lie to you. A Thursday Wednesday night, I have a pretty decent set.

And this is where a lot of things progressed for me. This is where everything started for me. If I look back, I have to think about Buffalo. I get there Thursday and Rob goes, we have a problem. It's game five. You know, they're getting angry and angry. What year was this mass? I do not know.

It must have been like 2001, 2002, maybe around there. Because I was having problems here. Like as a comic anytime earlier before that. See what year the Buffalo savers. Oh, I mean, I can help you out with all that. I mean, there was a string of years though between 98 and 04. We went every year to the playoffs. Okay.

And we went to the Stanley Cup in 99. There you go. There you go. 99. Okay. I didn't know it was here. 99. The actual cup.

Okay. Yeah. I don't know dick about dick. I'm trying to snort coke and get my dick sucked. And trying to get my meat to resume. You know, whatever. I mean, you're out there on the road. You're a young kid.

You know, women are talking to you after shows, whatever. I want people to understand that these are all fucking jokes. And we'll get to the situation later. But I'm out there. I'm running the ropes. I'm a feature act. I'm opening for anybody. Do you remember who it was that weekend?

The dirtiest guy in Buffalo with glasses. Older guy. The dirtiest. Funny. John Volby. What is it? John Volby. Not the hypnotist dude.

No. John Volby was the singer. No. This guy played the piano. This guy's a little off color. Okay. Yoda used them a lot. Off color dudes.

Yoda used them a lot. Couldn't work a lot of clubs. But he did. Understood where I was coming from. I knew where he was coming from. So I get there and he goes, this is going to be the deal. We're going to put the MC up. And then it's going to be halftime.

And we're going to put you up. And then you go eat. And then they're going to do another two quarters. And then Foco is going to go up. So they show the show. They show the game at the. So you're doing a ship between periods. So the comedy show was going to be put on while the saber game.

Because there it's no way that people would tolerate. You're not going to turn the saber game war. Dude, I just said that I was in Boston at Laugh Boston. My first headlining weekend of my life at Laugh Boston. And they put the fucking Patriots wild card game the same night as like, you know, it's at 815 on Saturday night. I'm like, oh, great. No, the shows are going to get canceled.

I still I still sold like almost 150 tickets that night. And it was like, what? I was like even more mad at fucking Patriot fans because I was like, if that show, if that even they wouldn't even have those shows in Buffalo, if they said 815 Saturday night show in Buffalo on a fucking wild card playoff game, that show is canceled. There's no shot that they would fucking put a game on. And Brad, I did a New Year's Eve with Brad Williams the night that we broke the playoff drought and the game went long in 730 show and the game went long.

And then we won the game and that wasn't enough. We had to watch the Bengals Ravens game, the end of that on the giant screen because if the Bengals won, we make the playoffs. So they waited even more like an extra half hour for that because people were going to never leave the bar if they didn't put it on in the showroom. So people would sit down like fuck because they're fucking animals. They need to like be herded into the showroom to just be like, at least they'll be in their seats.

So when the game's over, we can start the show. I don't I don't hate the bills. It's not like the Yankees for me, but I don't like the bills. Right. But I respect teams like that. I respect you. There's no reason for you to hate us because you've been destroying us for that. That's about to end.

It's about to end. It's about to end. I mean, I do. I do, I'm saying I respect. Johnny Famboyle is that I went up during half time. I think they were down. Oh, okay. They were down.

And so people are a shitty mood. And I'll never forget that. I got there thinking I was going to be the Captain Kirkley Enterprise. And it was the longest. Twenty five minutes of my life. I mean guys it was it was Just think to getting punched in the face of 25. I can't even imagine that it was the Dallas star series to game 5 I'm thinking I'm gonna walk off and get fired

He's gonna call Yoda This is the end of my Yoda career That's big too. You know, this is you know when you're a feature act and And you're making four or five hundred miles a week. You order keeps you in pork chops and I walked off a Couple people clapped and a couple people said thank God and I remember wanting to kill myself, but Believe him and came up to me and said good job, man

Get anything thrown at you They didn't leave Great job. Are you fucking nuts? I feel like that right now. He goes, hey could have been worse You could have been getting stitched up right now. Yeah They didn't laugh because they couldn't laugh in those moments, but they were polite about it Enjoyed you right away then it now. Let's go back to ten years later and me watching Bill Byrd Philadelphia Oh, okay. Yeah, you follow me and I'm like, oh Thank God

Like I was getting a couple boo's and did they keep the TV on behind you on mute. Oh I would worry about that like I'm a very polite They don't fucking mute anything. Oh, no Yeah Thankfully when I started comedy the Sabres had just like I remember the first couple years I'd be so pissed at the Sabres because you know You have your sets during the week and you're like no one's gonna fucking come there's a fucking game tonight And then finally like the Sabres had ten years of sucking and they just became a nod people are like well

I'll go do something else. I'm not gonna watch the Sabres the Sabres like sucked so long Recently that it's weighing down a little bit. They still sell out games But I mean like people aren't watching them feverishly every fucking night, you know Like I could see myself if it wasn't for the winters Moving my family to Buffalo. It's a great place for a family. It really is. Well, I like the state of mind in Buffalo Mm-hmm. I met a lot of good people from Buffalo. Well, I mean when I went to Boulder The people I ran with Were Buffalo people. Yeah, I mean and the guy would have Monday night football parties

Whenever Buffalo was gone and you go over there Dog, this is how you're gonna know His mother would overnight Wicked Be fine. Wek. No, not the beef. She would cook the beef himself the Kimmelwick rolls She would overnight the Kimmelwick rolls nice these guys ran. Yeah, and while they were watching the game They would put the helmet on And I still remember one Monday night where the kid kept jumping

Oh He told them don't jump and the kid jump and scratch his head open They had an ice pack on the kids had Kids bleeding and the father's like we're not going Next time don't jump. You're not going to the hospital till after the bill's game. Yeah Kids sat there with the ice pack on the towel. The mom was crying pleading. Fuck them. I get I'm like, yeah Yeah, this is something that stupid kid was dumb. You should have waited the fourth quarter of being here to bang his head But all these experiences take me back to Buffalo, so I can't imagine

Like what when did you at the rate? Was there a point at the radio station? Just because there's people in light to the stuck man, dude, I worked there for 15 years almost I started working there when I was 16 so I didn't know anything else, you know, and I Except for that time that I went to Cleveland, you know, and I Didn't know that I was like, this is gonna be my life, but then the jobs just started disappearing There's no there was no upward place to go. It just it went away at first It looked like the you know when you first start at 16, you know It was 2004 some shit and I was like the sky's the limit

I could be Howard Stern someday, but then you know, you started seeing like the nuts and bolts of this thing and it's going away or whatever and like The jobs are getting paid less, etc. So I just was like, you know, and I never thought I thought comedy would be like my Second thing for a while. Do you know what I mean? Like when I until I was 22, then I was like, no, this has to flip around and Radio is the secondary thing because it's not taking me anywhere. Comedy's taking me places already, you know, so out of the gate I'm doing things that I've never dreamed of doing So it flipped at like 22 and I started taking I did stand up every, you know, that's when I started really doing it, you know Because the last time I saw you were really working the helium rotation. Yeah, I mean you were really in the rotation They had you go on a Philly. I think I never went to Philly

They only had me going between St. Louis and Buffalo Honestly, they never said and then you worked with me in St. Louis. Yep, and that third weekend it opened that was You know listen You've all heard me fart on different platforms I'm not gonna sit here with a fart like a soul jump too old and Whatever comes out so be it and if you're sitting close to me That's life I've inhaled a couple great farts myself. I've inhaled some bad ones

What we talking about far far in Louis St. Louis. Yeah, St. Louis. I got on stage at Thursday night and I'm on stage Lee and I'm just smelling Fart Fart I don't care because I do the same thing once you're on a fart roll why stop but it was in that area So and I kept looking at each of them Trying to figure out who was dropping these bombs like they were bomb like you could tell where they were coming from I'm like Jesus

So boom fuck it Friday night go up there for the first show and I'm smelling fucking bombs again What the fuck is this and it's like every 15 minutes just a new one. Yeah, it's like refreshing and then Friday night. I smelted I Couldn't figure out it was in my nose. I went there sadly and sadly I started walking people People were walking sadly early from the smell. Yeah, so yeah, I thought it was me. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, your heart breaks on stage That's right. Yeah, I remember get up and Next thing, you know fucking after what I go bro. What the fuck and they're like every time you flushed the toilet upstairs They didn't know that when they rented the place so it's like

There was like construction going on or something too and so it was like all the plumbing was all fucked up There was like something that kept backing up, but it was it's in a mall Like a new addition of a mall at the time So they're doing all this new shit and everything and so yeah every time someone flushed the toilet we'd get like a Out of vent or some shit, you know like right into the show room How you just think that I like so far I like it I mean, I'm keeping my head clean and I'm working hard, you know where you live. I live in East Hollywood You know, I miss Buffalo in a lot of ways, but also they're those same things I go like I need to do something else too

You know what? I mean, I got to see something else and live somewhere else experience new things and So I love it living here so far the Sun's nice. You know, it's uh, I don't Drive anymore. I sold my car when I moved here and I just said I'm not driving when I go to LA and it's been Been easier than I ever expected and it's kind of a weight lifted off me. I don't know if you remember I had like all these like Fucking driving mishaps and like arrests and shit like that from driving so I was you know driving all over the place and I kept getting tickets here and there and I Was fuck I was poor so I wouldn't pay this one or I'd like let it lapse or whatever So driving was always dicey for me. Give me like terrible anxiety. And so I'm happy that I don't have to do that anymore

Plus I'm going blind so I Probably shouldn't drive anyway. Yeah, how'd you high side though? So far so good. It's a kick staying in there You know, it's I probably should get new glasses soon, but other than that. It's been it's fine You know, I'm blind in this side, but other than that I still got this one going Generative dizzy it is yeah, but I've done things to slow it down Okay, so I mean, I'm sure when I'm like middle-aged or whatever when people's eyes start going again I'm probably gonna have like some hiccups, but hopefully whatever's in place there is

Good enough to withstand some of that, you know, I mean they tell you all this shit about fucking reefer But if you smoke remember that was the first excuse. Yeah, oh god That's why I smoke a ton of it just to be sure I smoke reefer all the time I can't wait for that doctor to tell me I've got calm. I'm gonna smack them Like I've been preparing for glaucoma since I was like So I would never fucking have no the one that the glaucoma is not the one that you I mean everyone gets like a cataract at some point I feel like you know, I have one. I don't even bother taking out of it. It's like I can't see how that fucking I anyway So who gives a shit?

Cataract anyway, you know, but yeah, I mean That's st. Louis weekend I remember it was a Super Bowl two and I remember being like all the Super Bowls tomorrow me and the MC We're gonna drive 12 hours after that show on Saturday night So we dropped you off and then we just drove to Buffalo after that, right Would you drop me off the app that hotel? Because we went that night like it was like the late show Saturday

And then we just drove home after the late show and cuz I remember yeah, I was like, oh, I'm so cuz they were like, that's right You wouldn't the manager or something you me and Kyle the MC Kyle See so you guys got in the car after the show and I remember telling you to stop Yeah, yeah, yeah, I drove straight. He fell asleep like right away You know, he's like I'll sleep now and then I'll wake up and drive the second half so we can get home by like one o'clock take a nap watch the Super Bowl and I Ended up he ended up waking up at like 9 a.m. And I'm like, I'm good dude. I'll just finish it And I did I just drove because I wanted to see that fucking so I wanted to see that Super Bowl

Well, wasn't there a time you were telling me when we first met that like there was a time you Like went back and forth from Cleveland to Buffalo Oh when I lived there and when I did those shows like with you I had all these shows lined up before I moved because it was like a the whole thing of me getting that job offer to me Moving was seven days I had to decide if I want to go and I had to be there in seven days to like launch the show So it was all very quick and I had all these shows booked in Buffalo including the one I did with you And so I was just I had my apartment in Buffalo still and then I got like I was just sleeping in my Jeep in Cleveland and

Then like waking up and like taking a shower at like the gym and then going into work at 3 a.m To do morning radio and then driving back like on the weekends to sleep in my apartment in Buffalo and like do the shows Basically, so yeah, that was like I think I drove to cleave from Cleveland to Buffalo the morning of that show and then Slept in my apartment that just had a mattress in it and then woke up with my cousin and drove back to to Cleveland And just went back to like work people really never know and if you look back at those times you like was I fucking crazy Yeah, like what would make you drive and sleep in your fucking car? It's a love. Yeah, it's a passion. What would make what would make it?

Okay, like if you went to the normal college educated person and told that to what would they say to you It makes me sad that some people don't have that at all. There's nothing they would do that for you know There's a lot of people in the world that have nothing That makes them feel that way that makes me kind of sad for them But they probably think I'm crazy for saying that but it was really weird because before the age of 28 nothing was worth living and dying for and

somehow another I got locked up and You know get exposed to more comedy and seeing dice and then I'm like I want to do stand up You know like What we talking about I'm living and dying for something. Yeah, like sleeping in your car and shit I went from I went from I went from loving cocaine Like that was my only passion Like I like sex. I like girls. I like Szechuan beef. I like pork egg rolls, you know There was nothing that everything was like I like music I love music, but I love cocaine

Comedy swept me off my feet and it was like that first you listen. It's like anything else You're making 320 a week. Let's say you're making 350 a week that you're clearing 1400 a month You got your apartment you got your car payment you got food and you put away 200 a month if you're lucky You're not living at the Taj Mahal you living in a basement from time to time you catch a rat, you know shit like that. I Come to you and I go listen I want you to come work for me The only problem is a straight commission. This happens in life But I go my regular guys. I got a guy that's a half a retard

And he walks out of here with two G's a week And you imagine what you would do. I mean the first week you fucking skeptical as fuck. Yeah, you're petrified You're losing money by the hour But then it's like by Wednesday you get like 300 you like okay, so I made what I made last week Thursday Friday you take a chance the first week you make 800 You're like, okay, then you make a thousand the second week then now you're actually making two grand consistently You know, are you gonna fall in love with that job? No, yes, you are well. Yeah

I was giving you 300 a week And all of a sudden I gave you 800 a week and all of a sudden now you're making 1200 a week So you're making 4800 a month. Mm-hmm. You have a wife and a kid. Oh, okay. Your wife is in shock Because you've been an idiot all your life You know, what are you doing? Well, I'm selling plumbing supplies on the phone So what do you do now? You go to the library if you're a fucking normal person And you find that the in and outs is selling because it seems like

Sales is in your future because you were making 350 at the fucking video store Now you're doing this you're getting better every month So now you read about sales to know the psychology about sales sure and now you're all in Now you just took your family from a fucking one Tax bracket to the other and you rose them again because you got into what you were doing and you're gonna have bad months There's gonna be a month that you just don't nobody wants to buy fucking glasses Yeah, so you're fucked same thing as a comedy. Mm-hmm same thing as anything else you get into You're always skeptical at first

Then you get a little bit of success and now you go if I got a little bit of success With that shitty effort. Mm-hmm. Can you imagine? If I fucking jumped into that first into this day, yeah, and that's when you see the results of everything and that's when I I got a gig for you in Buffalo and you're like I'd take it But you didn't call trailways before you fucking left. Yeah, and there's a four-hour delay in Albany From 2 30 in the morning to 6 30 in the morning. Good luck. Yeah, and they closed the bus station And there's nothing to eat for three miles and when there is a fucking Popeyes chicken

But there ain't no fucking savory characters hanging out there And on top of that all you have is $6.00. Anyway, they gave you the buffalo. Hell. Yeah, you're gonna get to the fucking condo Hopefully they'll be fucking the comic before left cereal in there And then when you go in that night, you'll get a draw after your first show to make the following week. Yep That takes love. Yeah, that takes love I'm always like smiling when you're describing that versus all sales thing the sales thing. I'm like, oh, no, I don't want that job What I'm letting people know at home. Of course, of course comparing it to apples and peaches. Yeah, of course No, the same shit. Yeah, but like the thing for me and I love doing stand-up. I

Keep talking. I just gonna sure. I'm nowhere near you guys but I can't I Can't imagine like sleeping in my car one night a month or one at a week because I'm on the road in between like San Francisco And LA I could do that But there's people like I couldn't imagine living in my corner regular basis. Well, it wasn't for me. I was lucky I mean, I wasn't a regular basis It was like probably a couple weeks here and there okay because I just didn't have an apartment there and

I couldn't afford to have a hotel every night. So I would just You know, I worked in an office and I got a gym membership and I just would shower at the gym And then I had a cool car a big enough car that it didn't even matter and then also my father at the time I was working for a business Like he worked in a in a for a restaurant inside of a hotel chain Okay, kind of thing. I won't say which one but then like he would give me like a discount on a room So I'd have one like here and there. Okay. Yeah, like it would be like for like three weeks It was like three weeks

I guess like that I because I also couldn't just afford to buy another apartment out of nowhere yet, you know I mean, I had one buffalo But yeah, so it was like it wasn't like I was living in my car for like a six months time or something like that Or like a year. Okay. I mean, it's so tough, but it was that stretch. Yeah, and then I mean when I lived in In Cleveland, I when I found an apartment, I just like slept on I just was like I never really moved into it I just kind of slept on the ground and right because like I've had my first couple experiences with condos in the last few months and

there's nothing Fancy but I like I could do it. It's not that's not how I would like to live But it like I could do it but the I don't understand I like maybe because I Came up in comedy in this past decade the condo situations have never been There there's never been a condo that I've been in where I've been like this is worse than my apartment because I've just lived I guess in squalor myself So I've always got into the condo going like what's everyone complaining about, you know, like this is kind of nice

uh Yeah, so I mean like That's the thing that like I'm starting to learn Living in LA is like I'm starting to grow up a little bit more in terms of just like my own Uh lifestyle choices, you know what I mean? Like you were describing the unsavory characters at the Popeyes I was just that guy Like I was the unsavory character at the Popeyes 99 Um, it's a Monday morning. I just got paid by Rod Lee

Yeah I uh some staff member Saved me 30 bucks or 20 by giving me a ride to the bus station downtown I'm fucking ecstatic I don't know somewhere wherever he dropped me off. There was a mcdonough You know in those days I traveled light I had like my bag and then I went and I got uh The fucking egg sandwich with the potato and the fucking juice That's in mcdonough. It's just to give you a little orange juice. Yeah, and I'll never forget like

Whatever that combo cost. I gave her the 20 She gives me the bag. I fucking You know, I'm walking back to the bus station and to be honest, it's a nice day in Buffalo The sun's out and I'm like if I gotta sit in the bus for seven and a half hours I might as well grab some sun And I just finished the egg sandwich I'm cool. I put the a container in the bag The potato holder in the bag and I'm about to fold that I'm sipping the coke

The because I was yeah, I was a fat fuck so I gave her an orange juice tummy coke And two apple pies for a dollar. What the fuck throw them in there? You're on the road. Yeah. Yeah, you're trying to eat for eight hours. Give yourself a treat. That's a buffet. Yeah And I'm about to throw the thing and I see this black kid running towards me I'm like, what the fuck? He goes yo, brother Take a look and he had a gold chain in his hand and you could see that The bracelets were broken like where they were connected

And he's looking back like he's like Man, he's a buyer or whatever and I'm like Here's a gold and he goes, man There's a nigga pick cotton like he said something like that to me like something fucking off color And I go, all right. Like and he goes wow Give me 50 bucks Because it was a thick gold chain And I was like dog

I took out the 16 and change I had from the Mickey D's the fourth whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Like, well, this is what I got. I mean, I gave me exact Whatever that lady gave me with the receipt, you know, they give me that. Yeah. Yeah, and he goes done and he ran off And I get in the fucking thing I get in the car I get in the bus. I take it to Manhattan. Yeah, already and then the whole thing. I'm looking at this and I'm like, I got beat I got beat This is a beat move

Because it's not real. It's not I thought in my head First place I get off the bus. I go to a fucking porn shop guy ways that he's like I could do 680 or something It's gold. Holy shit. He goes, but it's a nice chain, man. Why are you getting rid of it? I don't know He goes for 20 bucks. I'll put brackets on it for you Like a guy and I kept the chain for a while. Wow, and I'm selling it somewhere. That's wild Yeah, that guy just wanted crack real bad. He just ripped the fucking chain on somebody's neck. Oh my god

Damn, oh him buffalo. Yeah, right. That's wild. Oh by that bus station downtown They don't play no Let me tell you something. I used to take the buses. I knew all that, you know, I was involved in a little Romance in a Syracuse Oh, you went up and down that bus the that Syracuse buffalo the 90 That was an Albany had the the comedy room at the bus station Is that that's not the one uh, this is 90 that's not comedy works, right? This is 97 guys. They have room at the bus station Yeah, that's crazy

So you didn't even get a hotel you just came in did the show and left Did they put you up? No, it was a new york comic Room booked by a guy named roger paul. Okay, and you would it was for new york guys. Yeah Because that's a quick one. You took the train to Albany. You got off It was the audience Of hell missing teeth You know arrows in their head Uh, a fucking hand cuff on their wrists

Fucking just great people here that new york to buffalo bus ride is Oh, I've done that a bunch mega bus that whole circuit Yeah, because if you take Syracuse buff buff Syracuse Buff Albany buff Rockchester. There's always something. That's why I'm at the girl that straight up told me To my face. This is why I loved listen Going on the road makes you a great comic

But you know, I'm gonna tell you something it's 30% of reason why you go on the road You go on the road. You have to do drugs and to do whatever and Lee doesn't do drugs So he would go on the road to eat a chinese buffet or whatever. He does He told me about barbecue before I'm like, fuck He's going to North Carolina. He's not gonna get barbecue What will we talk Uh, the road is great. You learn a lot. The road's great. It's only a third of it. The other thing about the road is The people you meet and the relationships you make and

You learn about the universe you learn about You being hungry, you know, you put yourself in all these positions as a comic to get yourself out of this whole Which you should be doing as a human being which is going out of your comfort zone, you know And you just get to meet the weird people especially on a fucking bus You know when you I I I could I know for a fact Without exaggeration There was 20 times when I was on I had to wait for the next bus And there was a three hour gap and you got four dollars in your pocket, but you got a joint

You got a Walkman You got Christina Aguirre's new fucking cd. You don't like it, but your shop lifted it. That's I I I I remember nights still like singing. Yeah, I'm a genie in a bottle You know, I remember being in that song slaps. Yeah I remember being in sagging on michigan and staying in a hotel for 20 hours a night hearing people getting prostituted and walking across the street Because the way it wouldn't be or it was like a friday saturday and then a friday saturday in the same area

I don't know where they go. So yeah You go downtown when you were rent by the room and you go to the bathroom and there's a condom on the floor because You have to share you have to share the The bathroom with a little boarding house. Yeah, you know, I did it all there's no story. You could come right right Right But the best that was when I got on the bus with this girl and I'm like, oh my god She sat right next to me like I had the window seat and she slid next to me. That was just me and her And I'm like, oh my god, this girl said fucking 12

And I just was like, I'm not gonna say a word and she's like, hi. So what's your name? Oh my god, welcome to me and Pop it up. What do you do? What are you gonna be doing? I think I was going to rockchester Maybe you're gonna know when I tell you. Yeah. Yeah. I said, uh, what are you doing? She goes, well This has been embarrassing She goes, I'm an exotic dancer And I go, okay. So you're going to wherever To dance and she goes, well, I have to be honest with you

Where I dance they do a health inspection and I've got a disease. I've got like vd So the prescription won't care again And I'll have it for the next week. But if I go to this town, they don't check for a health What? Oh, that's like stripping laws, eh? Yeah, they had like some type of stripping law. She had something That she couldn't dance because it was contagious But she's like, I'll fuck that shit I don't know what I wish I knew the laws

It was either rock It probably was it was between buffalo Rockchester because there were those two comedy cafes, right or two comic cafes the uh One in buffalo and then there was that one in rochester that joe t guy Do you remember? That was a bump. There was a the only club I remember in rockchester was a club that was built on cocaine Yeah From the minute I walked in there the owner had you in an attic

I think that's what I'm talking about. It was it was just I enjoyed doing it. Yeah I I was a junkie. So I enjoyed being there But to be honest, you know, I didn't enjoy being there, right, right, right? It was all over the place. It was like going to the club in Kansas City It was like even Miami wasn't that bad. Wow because the staff was pretty light You know, there's clubs you go to the whole staff's on drugs. Yeah, most of the city the whole staff's on drugs The management's running around This is their life. This is their part of their addiction. It's part of the thing that attracted me to this

It's fucking crazy Well, I'm happy man that you're out here and I'm happy you're making moves I'm trying like you say put the pieces together the pieces together There's something I wanted to talk to you about you guys been ready. You were in radio for a long time I've been doing this for a long time unless someone when when I started this podcast You know, nobody knew what direction we were going with this thing. We just Came on here. We told comedy stories. You told whatever for me. It was opening up about my life as being vulnerable Telling the story about mugger and a hooker and light no way gone fire and then

You know things came out You About four months ago something happened that devastated me that Was then the last nail in the nail with many coffins They fired a kid Of a cyanide live because something he said an episode 280

Of some episode that somebody dug up. Yeah, and he lost his job and whatever And everything happens for a reason that kid don't be a lot better off. He'll put it together It ain't no prize being on saturday live. So You know, she's so funny too. He's a great stand-up in the last two weeks I got a message I got a message about six months ago From somebody telling me something about sin current You know, I got introduced by sin by another musician Who knew sin from somebody else and sin made the headlines this last week for

Sleeping with underage girls, you know, I know that he's taken down his website He's taken down his facebook page, you know Uh, my heart goes out to the victims of this horrible thing. I have a daughter. I would never wish her fire And my heart also goes out to sin because god knows what he was thinking. We gotta say a prayer for him Um, but it to run out who the fuck know, you know, as soon as I heard the story I thought about Paris Hilton on David Letterman Telling the story on how she remembers sneaking out

Of the window when she was 15 and going to discos When you're 15 and you sneak out of a club, you're not sneaking out of a club to meet boys for 16 Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah, no, totally like when the deep one the and it all starts with the doorman The doorman knows you're 16, but yeah, you hot pussy to the musicians or the band or Those ever in there. So again, my heart goes out to both families, you know Sin for whatever he did that he takes care of this problem And to the family of the girls in san Antonio wherever else they had the Uh, if uh, you're offended that I had sit on

My apologies go to you and you guys know that I don't Really come up with apologies. Let's let the air Clear and then we'll get to that number two something else happened last week that really Got me thinking our friend Brad Williams who also has a podcast. I've done the degenerates with him I've always I always knew Brad was a freak. Let's like get Carried away those little midgets Don't get confused. You see a midget

Know that he's got a black dick midgets have been known for having two foot dicks. It's not a curse From god it's just given a midget if you're a lady and you want a big dick And you don't want to cross the line and you don't want your property value to go down on your pussy Let me tell you something find yourself a nice looking midget Because that guy's got dick today He's gonna be taking that snake out of his pants like a hose, you know, I'm saying So I know Brad personally I've heard through the grapevine. He can wrap his dick around your neck and choke you with it

So don't don't ever feel mad for jet digits midgets Those motherfuckers are packing the heat between their legs. It's up to you What do you want those little fucked up fingers on it? Squeezing your tits while that three foot dick is fucking anyway My point being that I don't I don't know what happened with Brad Williams. I know he went on a podcast six fucking years ago And told the story about him and Carlos and they came up with an apology. Was I there? Do I know? I don't need to to be there

To know I saw it I saw women putting themselves In bad positions. I saw women come up to me and say if you introduce me to such and such I'll suck his dick. I'll suck your dick. It was it was a point where you feel bad for humanity You know saying you feel bad for humanity Uh, you know brad's on the shit end of the stick right now Again, my heart goes out to him. My heart goes out to this poor girl got fucked by a midget in the dark Because that's gotta be a fucking nightmare

Hopefully, you know, you wake up next to somebody ugly. That's one thing But waking up to oopa-loopa and all of a sudden you're like, what the fuck And I love brad. I I'm on degenerates with him I'm worried they're gonna take a more fucking degenerates or something. Well, you know, I'm really worried about this But this is just to let you know that This is why I'm open with you people. I don't give a fuck at this point in my life Listen, if you hear something if you didn't hear from me it didn't happen If that did happen, I'll tell you my side of the fucking story

Just so you fucking know as any as all you people know is I'm not a me too I mean, I love looking at your titties But I'm not a me too. I love looking at your ass. I love women. I love you to death I mean last night there was a point at the economy store I had Five beautiful women around me and at one time that I did not think a fuck one of mad felicia I had fucking Annie Liedemann. I had fucking Kate Quigley I had the light skin sister waitress at the comedy store

And that new little cute one that we were talking about something You know what I'm saying doesn't mean you're a me too. Right. It just means you're talking to people. Well, that's comedy Also, that's the comedy stores my family. Yeah, but you know what man? I'm just I'm happy that I was always very vulnerable with you guys from day one when I learned that What you guys wanted to hear was truth truth from the heart like People telling you stories people letting you know that's okay to be human. Mm-hmm. I'm sick and tired of listening to podcasts where They're above us ain't nobody fucking exactly motherfuckers. We're all the same and we all go through the same struggles this guy

drove 18 hours between quit it's weird because When you booked buffalo in the old days buffalo had the funny bone She wouldn't book you in buffalo unless she could get you at the Cleveland improv first So when you called that you got four weeks of work You got Cleveland And it was back to back. She was cool about it. Right Sarah and I the cunt that she was she was cool about it at that time Sarah and I was a very little asian bitch mix

Good-looking, but evil as fuck and when she got power she really started torturing motherfuckers I'll never forget her. I ever see her throw a thousand chopsticks out She's a very bitch I'll be there with chopsticks. I swear to god She was cruel she was very mean to you Very mean to you Lee very mean yeah, Lee if you would have if you're a comic you What would I tell you what my pet peeve is my pet peeve about comedians is fucking with their dream Right, that's my pet peeve with a comedian. I thought when comedians hit me up

Hey, I want to be in your podcast. I don't string them along. Right. You're in no danger Go jump off a bridge and get back to me You know I'm saying some guy called me a couple weeks ago. Hi my friend Was on rogan's podcast. Do you think I could be on your podcast? Do I know you? Christ well, I was in the army and you Yeah, but that's nothing to do. I know you've been doing comedy six months. Why are you bothering me? You know go back to the army do two ten more years to calm me and then get back to me. What do you want from me? I can't help you out. Yeah, I'm working with guys up here that I see busting their asses

When I put you in that chair, it's because I know you're busting your ass after every night where the lead tells me Ryan cichlid tells me I'm listening And then I see you, you know, I'm not putting people in here to come in here and try to Pull the wool over there. I don't want there's a thousand of those people out there trying to pull the fucking wool over here For sure for sure Thousands of people are looking looking over here. Look at over here, but nothing's happening And it's the people that are buying it and you're buying it, but they ain't doing nothing this kind Right, right

And I know motherfuckers that leave their house at six o'clock Don't walk back into a one and gotta go to a job and fucking six a.m. In the morning And at five o'clock they eat something they do 10 push-ups And they're back waiting online, you know, I know a chick that does four open mics the bitch can't drive because she has seizures And she just makes it takes a fucking uber everywhere. Yeah from the memory of night. You had to send me money for an uber Who do you think I was trying to help out? Didn't have money for a fucking uber So I said come up to the office. I'll give you a few bucks

How can I not, you know, she called me a day and you wait two weeks till I pay you back I go listen Don't worry about the fucking money and the girl called me. She was fucking stuck Yeah her credit card and she's like, I don't know you, you know I don't know how you if you could help me. I said hold on. Let me send an uber for you You're not gonna in fact forget that Do you have any money? She goes I'm flat broke. I haven't eaten all day. I said meet me at the office. I got a high

I gave her 50 bucks. In fact, I still owe you 20 bucks for that ability. So I forgot. Yeah, that's the that's amazing I remember last night. I mean, I've been in those spots where it's like you got to call up a buddy or somebody cousin It's like I did it to 20 people So now when people call me to the comics that I see at the store I tell people there's a thousand people I pull aside and go listen You need some Become same. I don't want you sucking dick I don't want you doing nothing

You don't need to do You know, if you're gonna suck a dick for five, you'll suck my dick for three Full sale. I'll give you five. I'll give you seven. No, you know, I'm saying Yeah, exactly. You got to let these people know that they need help man. That's great I'm that's why I'm happy to come these stores putting funds together. I'm not saying give a comic two grand a month I'm gonna hear this for you No, of course But I'm gonna get you out of a fucking bind if I know that you're working

If you're just trying to work me for drug money. Yeah, in fact last night. I bought somebody drugs Well, that's just straight to the oh You can't worry about a motive one. I give you a lot of respect. It's Martin Luther King. We thank you I didn't want to fight you. Well, what do you mean you bought someone drugs? You bought something there was a drug deal last night, but I knew for 20 years I went up to him. I said do you have anything he goes? Yeah, I go Bob I put 60 bucks in his pocket. I go Go over there and they give that girl a gba

She came up to me when I got on stage and hugged me. She goes, what? Oh my god. It was such a That's wild everybody at the at the store has been like super nice too. Like uh, I'm not it's a love Yeah, it's it's amazing. You know last night. I can't tell you it last night I almost crashed my car driving to the store from the anxiety add When alley wong is supposed to go up at 9 15 You have a problem That schedule ran from 9 15 to 11 30 Each of those guys if you saw them individually

You would have to pay 35 hours or more for sure It went from her to run white To delia to Anthony Jeslinick To rogan to myself to donnell rolling To jeff ross. It's crazy. That's where it went That's crazy ended up it mixed up and I had to bring up alley And we started dancing on stage

Next to you know, I was like doing like I'm like, oh my god, alley. So I I tweeted this morning and thank you for coming out. You got any dates or anything coming up anywhere? Anybody could find uh, yeah, I'm gonna be this weekend at the dead crow comedy club in wilmington, north carolina And then next weekend. I'm gonna be at the comedy connection The 31st and the first in rhoda island problems. Yeah, you had lining. Yep, both places good for you, brother Thank you. You got a website and everything. I'm just doing it all on fucking instagram Dude, I don't even have a website. People are finding me though and buying tickets and shit. So I know that I got to get it

I'm just bad at uh money and you have your own podcast together. I'm just gonna be doing one soon On your mom's house network. I'm working on uh, all the other ones though. Dr. Drew honey do your mom's house And um, I'm gonna be starting mine pretty soon as well. Hopefully like I told you told dr. Drew I'll do the podcast but he brings up long a turn. I gotta break his Oh, yeah, we've mentioned it And I want to thank you guys for being part of a great fucking family. Don't forget Uh friday night. No saturday night

There's a few tickets left atlanta at the tabernacle. They might be solo tickets. I don't know what the fuck they are Do what you need to do And uh february 13th 14th and 15th valentine's day I will be at the tempi improv tickets are going quick And we're gonna have a great time valentine's day bring a condom And uh, it's bring a condom night to the fucking thing. If you bring a condom, I'll give you a free edible

Oh, but you gotta eat it with you gotta. I don't know. You gotta come home with 800 condoms. Yeah I don't want no condoms. I don't need condoms. It's condom night. We'll give him out the fucking junkies or X comics that wanna stuff things in their asshole Anyway, I love you guys with all my heart real quick Let me talk to you about two of my favorite fucking companies. First of all, I can't tell you how excited I am with butcher block I really fucking was butcher box You know, I see these people on jenny craig eating that malook food and shit but when I went to my brother-in-law's in

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ready to fucking rock in Atlanta. I'm ready to rip some buddies' heart out. I did two spots last night in the store, just getting fucking fired up. The one joke ate the bag of dicks, but the other one's on point. You're gonna love it, I promise you this. I love you motherfuckers, remember the song of the day

out of respect for Buffalo is you and I. I could have shown up with what's the other one he did, but no, no, fuck that shit. It's either UI or 69 times. You ever hear 69 times, you can get it on Letterman. I haven't seen the Letterman, I know. And he kept doing 69 times. And when he sat down, Letterman looked at Rick James

and said, is that off your Christmas album? I love you motherfuckers, stay black, give me the world. I'll see you motherfuckers in Atlanta Saturday night on Tempe Valentine's Day weekend. Kick that fucking meal, Lee.