Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #758 - Jessimae Peluso

Episode Date: February 6, 2020

Jessimae Peluso, a stand up comedian, actress, and host of the "Sharp Tongue" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: ZipRecruiter - post your job to 200+ job sites with a single click for free at www.ziprecruiter.com/church   Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH at checkout for a 10% discount on your first order.

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Today, we welcome to the church, the beautiful and one of the best fucking Twitter pages in the business, Jessamé Paluso. What's happening? How are you? Why am I one of the best? You'd retweet me a lot. I love your shit. I love your shit because I can see you while you're doing it. Yeah, like the whole fucking the positions in the mornings, the butt in the evenings, the butt in the evening, the bikini running through.

And you do everything very classy. Like it's not everything is very funny and very silly. I'm sure that you don't get a lot of people saying, show me it. No, I don't. No, I really don't. I must be doing it wrong. No, they see they see what you're doing. Right. So it's not like she's doing it from a fucking. Right. You know, you get a picture with your tits out.

And they're going to say, take those sugar mamas out. I don't get any dick pics. No, no, you don't want to ask for this. I know there it's not a it's an interesting body part. I think I'd rather I'm not even going to say what I'd rather have, because I know if I say it on this, it's going to show up in my. Just a bunch of taints. It's I don't know.

I don't have an impressive one, but just by itself. Your dick. Yeah, it's like it's just OK. So I've never really I've sent it a couple of times, but like it's not something it's not something I would go to. You have casual dick energy, not a big dick energy. It's like more casual. Very casual. Are you happy with it? I could only use more, but I'm not depressed about it.

That's good. Listen, I was 27. That's I'd send a picture to my dick to your mother. Can you send one to her now? No, no, no, no, I'm 57. Nobody wants to see a picture of my dick unless you're 87. Do dicks age? Yeah, they age. They get old. What's the first thing you noticed?

Like the change where you're like, oh, I'm getting older. The color changes. Yes, that's getting like this weird I like like an opaque. Yeah, like your balls get darker. Whoa, it gets darker. Are you tanning without pants on? No, well, well, imagine you're covering

your shaft somewhere and get 20 fucking years because I won't bite them in the in my dick. Remember two months ago, the people let their ass. So that's, you know, those are fucking. But then they get raped, then they cry. They get raped by by bald eagles. No, you can you imagine walking and seeing some guy laying there with his legs wide open?

Oh, God, it sounds terrible. And let's say you're gay and crazy, like gay people live that certain lifestyle. Sometimes they don't give a fuck sitting here with my ass wide open. It means it's a parking spot. Yeah, get in there. So you never know, but it's just crazy out there. It is crazy.

Did you put your butthole in the sun? I wanted to, but I didn't. My what? I wanted to put my butthole in the sun and get the vitamin D right through the dirt star, but I didn't do it. Oh, listen, just go outside and get vitamin D on your face and that's enough.

Yeah, it is enough. That's it. Yeah. Why do we have to put our but why do we have to put our buttholes out? You know, when they did a study, it was funny. One time I went to the doctor and he said to me off the coffee goes, by the way, you're physical. You look good, but you need more vitamin D. Go out and get sunlight.

And I got in the car and I go, what the fuck is he talking about? And weeks later, months later, I don't fucking know. I saw an ad, an article that Californians are like the worst with vitamin D. Yeah. Well, we don't get enough. No, what? Because when that was scared, most Californians are actually scared of the sun because of sun cancer and whatever it's called. Yeah, you need like 15 minutes a day.

Pure sunlight, no SPF. I think that I paid with the taxes I fucking pay. If the sun is out, you can guarantee if I have a there's a part of the day where you just have to return 18 calls. Oh, fuck. And what are emails or whatever. But but the calls are the main ones when I just go outside. I sit on my step. That's nice. And I get that two thirty sun and I'll just sit there for 30 minutes, just call it.

Get that fresh deed. Just get that fresh deed that there's a tree. There's a tree right there, which I'm getting some chlorophyll. I'm getting some fresh air. You know, you live in California, you pay these taxes. You know, let's talk with somebody who said they bought a house and then moving down to the beach. Shit. And I go, you know, what do you think?

And he goes, you know, it's a pricey situation. But he goes, I'm a block away from a fucking Starbucks. I could walk and he goes, if I'm going to be away from my family, I'm going to raise my kids on the beach. Yeah, I see that. I want them to be on the beach. And sometimes we sit here and we're like, well, you know, we live in Glendale or you live in fucking.

I'm on the west side. You're on the west side of the ocean. We fucking you from fucking Syracuse. Yeah, I'm from coldest snow belt. And I'm from fucking Jersey. Cold places. One of us live on the beach. We all grew up on the image of California. Yes, one big beach.

Did you do lakes as a kid? We did lakes. That's that's the closest we got to the ocean was like a dirty ass lake. You know, I was like, I was a. Did you guys have a vacation like that? If I did five lakes in my life, you'd be surprised. I'd be surprised. We have one of the dirtiest lakes in the country in Syracuse on a doggalake. It's just filled with trash.

It's just filled with chemicals. So we didn't really have that. I had a lake that I used to do swimming. Right. Competitions that and shit like that. You did competitive swimming. Like for a while, I did not even the Boulder Rev, Boulder Res. I think that was what it was like a reservoir before I got locked up.

I got into master swimming program before and after. Yeah. And she talked me into even doing a biathlon where you ride a bike and you swim a mile. It was one of those fucking type of things. Sounds like a nightmare. No, I was I would be able to get through that. I'm just always nervous in the water now. Yeah. Why so? I don't know why.

Are you not a good swimmer? No, tremendous swimmer. Is it different than like a lake versus a pool? Oh, yeah, there's so many critters in the ocean. You got a pool, you got a lake and you have a fucking ocean. OK, and rivers. And then in pool, you go as a workout. You go to your friends out, you got a drink, a nice heated pool.

You jump in every time I go on a heated pool. I fucking do like a little exercise. Yeah, you go all the way deep on your bends. You can throw punches for 10 minutes. I want that video. Oh, I just go to the water aquatics. I just went a couple of weeks with my daughter to I take them every year down to the whole new years.

We go down to a hotel and I think I'm 18 pools. Yeah. And the one that I'm sitting there fucking on the balcony, trying to smoke a number, freezing to death. And I see a guy in the pool and I see steam coming out of it. When I checked in, I asked the fucking dude, all the pools called. He goes, yeah, there's no heated pools. The next day I found out and I've been to this hotel four fucking times. And I finally found out the pool right in front of you is heated as fuck.

I mean, that's nice. Warm piss heat. Oh, I love warm piss heat. And there's a jacuzzi next to it that it's hot and you go back. Yeah, you do a little interval. It's tremendous. That's nice. So I'm like, fuck it. I went down there all four days this time and I would go in because I my shoulders are done. So I can't do.

You can't do the over strokes. And I can't do like I'm too fat to do the other one. Have you ever thought about doing stem cells? So what I do is just pull, push and pull the stem cells, his needles and blood. Yeah, that's right. So you're you're not you're not feeling that. I'm going to have Dean Delray on soon. Me and Dean flew one time and he was telling me the procedure and Dean's a good guy, you know, and.

Dean was telling me that when they were taking the blood out to to clean it and then before they put it back on his neck, he said he passed out. I'm not surprised while they were taking the blood out. She brought him back, brought him a smoothie, but the fucking blood kept going. I would die. Oh, hematology smoothie. I would die like not like a fruit smoothie.

Yeah, that's it. Listen, when they take if you're a normal fat fuck, like if you're a fat person like me, when they take more than a little tube of blood out of you, the first thing you open your eyes is you want a can of coke. Yeah, the blood sugar, the blood. Yeah, you drop a coke and put you right back to top. Oh, everything, whatever was that. My girl. Yeah, whatever was happening, happy.

You know, and if you got a turkey sandwich with cheese, even better. Everybody used to give blood because a lot of times you have to give blood with no food in your stomach. Right. That's torture. It is no food, no fucking coffee. Just mouthwash. You got to go down there. You got to suck on that mouthwash the whole way down there.

Man, this meant as good. You're pulling there. You got mouthwash. You as soon as that needle comes out, all I'm thinking about is about food. I would bring fucking food with me. I was going to ask you about turkey sandwich. Yeah, I'd be fucking. I would make my wife make sure there's a nice piece of Swiss on toast.

There's a slice of tomato. Make two of them in a can of coke. And I was fucking in hell. Oh, my God, when you have surgery and they take it to recovery, what do they give you that that trashy hospital? They give you asked. They give you applesauce first to whatever to blend into your system. Yeah, easy digestion.

And then after that, they show up with a turkey sandwich that you get a better sandwich in prison. Yeah, you really do. You get a better sandwich in the trash. It's a 7-Eleven sandwich. Oh, no. Which I'm not against. It's almost worse. It's like a 7-Eleven sandwich that had been like left out

in the air for a couple of days. No, no, they're not that bad. I mean, the hospital, they give you a little fucking catch of a little mustard so you're not fucking eating. Yeah, so you're not like the fucking Swiss cheese. Yeah, so your lips are gone. Dry mouth from a fucking turkey sandwich. What's going on with you?

Just some April news. I know you're a big activist on stuff. Yeah, I really love that you breast cancer, fucking vets. I don't know who else. Cats, Alzheimer's. Alzheimer's. Yeah, my father passed away from it in 2018. And I just come, you know, smoke weed and talk to my fans tonight.

Actually, every Wednesday at five o'clock Pacific, I answer questions and just get stoned and bring a little awareness to the disease, let people know the stigma and the wrong things about it and try and bring some light to it and bring some joy. Now, is there a way to avoid Alzheimer's or is it genetic? Is it running your family? From what I understand, the percentage of familial Alzheimer's, like the genetic side is a very low percentage that it's mainly from the things

that I've read and what I've learned that it's an inflammatory disease of the brain, which is caused by a lot of extenuating circumstances, stress, oxidative stress, emotional stress, environmental stress. Your diet, diet's a huge factor. There's a really good book by Dr. Lisa Moscone called Brain Food, which is all about the correlation between what you eat and the degradation of your brain and the synapses and all of the, you know, amyloids that build up the plaques that cause

Alzheimer's and sort of how food can help prevent those those sort of things happening. Do you eat a certain way because of it? It changed the way I eat. It changed everything. Yeah, I took a look at what I was eating and I was scared. I mean, from a personal standpoint, it was my dad. I didn't want to lose him, but also I share his blood. So it made me worried that I'm going to be predispositioned to this.

So, you know, it made me definitely switch what I eat, but I still enjoy shit. I like, I mean, fuck girl, cheese sandwiches are so good. Mac and cheese, anything with cheese is so fucking good. But that food is brutal on your body. It's brutal. I mean, it's like between a grape or a mac and cheese. Come on, you can go mac and cheese all day. But it definitely made me switch it up.

Consider. What do you avoid? I try to avoid dairy. I try to avoid processed meat, mainly meat in general, processed, enriched flour, any sort of fake bread, anything that doesn't perish within a long time. I try and eat as healthy and clean as I can. I just had a really interesting study yesterday that more than four slices of bacon a week will fucking kill you.

You know what, I'm done. How many slices of bacon are you eating? I only eat two slices at a time because it's only three weight. Watch your point. Right. That's good. Two pieces. You look younger and brighter than I've remembered for a long time. I told you last time I saw you look like you've gotten more fit.

Are you doing a lot? Yeah, you look younger. No, you look more rested weights. Yeah, and I focus that I won't fucking I will not stop preaching that Rogan podcast when he had the guy on about sleep. Sleep. Yo, I had not stopped preaching. It's so vital.

I love it. So vital. I love the Stephen, the fucking Stephen Tyler podcast with Rogan. I could name you the top ten Rogan fucking podcast, but the one that changed my life completely. I have to listen to it. One. Yeah. The weight wise sleep is huge for Alzheimer's to sleep is huge guys.

And that's when your brain cleans itself out. I did. I, you know, Lee thinks I goof on him. I swear to my fucking daughter, my wife, anything that's sacred to me. This podcast, I stopped taking naps at like three. Yeah. When my father died, something happened that my mother told me. She goes, for some reason you, you, you're, you're triggering ones. You can't sleep in the daytime. You're waiting for them.

So for a long time. I didn't, I didn't take a nap. I started dating a stripper in 1990 fucking. I would imagine you'd need a nap dating a stripper because she would get home at two, right. She'd get up at eight. We do our shit. We go back and give her a stab.

You're on the stripper schedule. And then we take the, we take the two 30 to five nap and she'd get up. She needs healthy, you know, turkey burgers and mushrooms and stuff. And then I'd start dropper off at the strip club, but she was the first person that introduced me like she's like to naps, they're so, I was out all day. I was raised to want you to get up. You're done. And look at that generation now, that generation.

And then now I'm mixing the cocaine. Oh, no sleep. You put your brain on so much. Oh my God. And then throw in a disease that I acquired in like 98. I didn't know that is the number one growing disease in men that will take you out, it will take you out and people fucking don't have an idea. Sleep apnea will take you.

Oh, yeah. Sleep apnea will take you out so fucking quickly. The first time late guys, I'm telling you, and I'm telling you for your own good. The first time your girlfriend, your mother, your father, your grandfather, everybody says to you, listen, man, I heard your snoring last night. Just stop what you're doing. Stop it. Come to the realization that it's going to get worse.

It might not be a year. It might not be two years, but in three years, you're going to start running into this fucking wall unless you've had sleep apnea. It's tough to describe it. I hate doctors. What causes it? Do you know what causes it? Fat.

So it's more prevalent in heavy weight. Heavy guys, but no, but Rogan's got it. Really? Yeah. So that's interesting. That's right. I remember him saying that he sleeps at the mouth. But he's, he's got the, the, the stature of like a water buffalo.

Right. You know what I mean? Like there's a lot of guys like when I went like that's funny. When I, when I first got diagnosed with it. The first time I went for the doctor for it, you know, who was there? Gary Goldman, 2001, 2001 was the first time I even considered going to the doctor and Goldman was there. And I remember falling asleep and then going, this is fucked up.

What do you have? And we started talking about it. And then I bumped into him at the improv and he goes, Hey, I looked that shit up. That shit will kill you. At the time it was killing 20, uh, it was killing 25,000 people a year, 25,000 men a year, something, no, no, no, no, I'm sorry. The website at that time is getting 25,000 hits a year. Like nobody really knew about it.

Then Reggie died to tackle from Philadelphia. He died from sleep apnea because he wouldn't put the machine on. It's that big machine and it's got the pipe and it goes to the base and it's plugged into the wall. Now, when you don't sleep, it affects fucking every system. Now I sit back and I think about it and I try to talk to you younger guys. I don't want you to sound like, Oh, he sounds like my dad. Let me tell you something, man.

I think of all this, I'd ever slept, lead things like I goof on. I'm like, I was on a two hour a night schedule. Two hours a night, three, that's so bad. It's so bad. Now, when you're 20, you get away with it. Oh yeah. Cause you have energy. You're in a different position in your life when you're 30.

You caught, you catch up to it. So it affects your mindset. It affects your moods, your hormone levels, your cortisol, your cortisol. Everything, your digestion, your skin. You start gaining weight. Yeah. Like when, when Lee and I started doing the podcast, I think I was holding on to like two 95 and we started doing the podcast and I started going on the road.

So Monday and Wednesday, I was waking up at 445, you know, I, we don't got a bed till 12 and we're fucking to wake up at 445. And then Thursday, I get up at four to take a flight Friday radio. Which is so early. And then Saturday I slept. And then Sunday you sleep three hours because I'm on the first. Yep, I get the hell out of the town. I went, I remember going to a doc that was 349.

I go, I gained 50 fucking pounds. I looked at my diet. Yeah, I see what I go, oh, not the Rogan had that dude on. Yes. And I listened to it. I got the book. I read the book. I read like a couple of areas twice.

I agreed with him and some areas like I'm good on seven. Seven, me too. I'm solid on seven. I'm, I'm seven. I'm solid. Yeah. If I'm under six, I'm a demon. Like really?

Oh God, if I get less than six hours, I can hurt an older woman. I'm good on seven. I'm good on seven, right? I focus on seven. Okay. You know what? There's some nights I go to bed 11 and at five o'clock, my dick is hard and fuck. I got to get up and get coffee or whatever.

And sometimes I get so high. I run my errands, you know, I put up the podcast, I pick music, I send a couple of emails, I check this guy, I fucking send the email to this chick. And all of a sudden I ate 30. When once Mercy leaves with my wife, when my wife gets back, we eat breakfast. Now tell my wife there's nothing on the agenda. Let's go 11 and I'll wake up at 11 and then get up and, you know, like now I know I understand the importance of those so vital sleep.

Everyone, you know, what's the whole saying about like sleep and success? Like, you know, someone has told me before, like, I think it was one of my agents. Like, well, maybe, you know, you need to sleep less and get more work done. And I was like, that is the dumbest thing anyone has ever said to anyone. No one who's successful has gotten there because of less sleep. You know what I mean? Like that whole idea is archaic now. Like the only way to really become successful in health and life and all

of that is to take care of yourself first and sleep is I've come to really appreciate it. Every fucking morning I get up and I'm grateful and, you know, I still go to the economy store, I'm still relevant, but I'm very grateful that. I'm not in the hospital room, yeah, friend of mine just got diagnosed with stage one, whatever, can't say he caught it early. That's good. He caught it early, blah, blah, blah, blah, you know, so I think of how fortunate. But you said he goes, what have you been doing?

I do everything I could do. Like I drink water at night. I drink, I take those garlic pills in my heart to clean out the arteries. I go to acupuncture, I go to cryotherapy, not the last three days because we've been living in cryo fucking therapy, but I go to Novato, you know, I lift heavy, focused breathing, a lot of weight. Yeah, you're doing a lot of stuff. I do.

I go to box, I go to kickbox. If I catch a kickboxing class because he alternates on Tuesdays and Thursdays. You do classes when you're on the road too. Don't you look up a little bit? The fucking problem on the road is you have two things on the road. You have a thing called time zone. Yeah, which can always fuck you up. Especially when you're going from here, the East Coast really fucks you up.

So I was finding if I was at a place for three days, like if I got to a place on Thursday, the Thursday night show, if somebody had an 11 o'clock kickboxing class that was Uber, you know, is Uber friendly, I would take you to Uber friendly, I would take the fucking kickboxing class. Then you become friends with the people and you're like, I'm coming back Saturday, Saturday, it just wouldn't work. No, your body, your shot, your shot, your shot, your shot like this weekend. I'm going flying to Boston and they want you to do five a.m.

press on Friday and then shows and then it's just, it's a lot. And then you're back on a plane and then you're back in the time zone. You were it's, it's so much for, for your body. Even as somebody who was like young and, you know, healthy, it takes a toll on you. I think of Ralphie a lot. God bless the soul. And I think of ever since he passed, how it influenced me a lot. Yeah.

If I wanted to keep doing what I was doing at this pace, how I could do it. And I had to stick to it. Like, you know, I had to sit in my agent down, explain to him, I'm not 48. I'm not 46. I could sit there and tell you, I feel, I'm not, I feel 50. I feel the change in the last two years. Like you feel more vivacious, like good or are you feeling a hard change? I feel great.

Right. But I need my rest. Right. You see what you need. I need my pacing. Now I'm at a pace. You know what? Listen, yeah, I love going to fucking Tommy still.

Last night I had a great time. I giggled, I giggled in the back with the chick. How late were you out? I got 1115. That's not bad. I got it that quick, you know me. Yep. I got it that quick.

No, Blumenreich was there. A big shout out. No, Burr's father-in-law was there. Mr. Hill, a big shout out, you know, it's, it's, I was talking to Joe. I was talking to Jeslenick. It's so easy to be stuck there. Yeah, it's like 2 a.m. You're like, what the fuck?

No, I won't even do 2 a.m. It happened once a couple of weeks ago. I was like, what the fuck? No, no. I get out of there, but I cannot tell you that I do not miss those days of it being a quarter to and like, where the fuck are we going? And we all walk over to paint that or we get in the car and go to Cactus. Yep.

Cactus number eight on Vine across the street from Freddie Roach's gym over there. Yeah. Oh, we will go over there and kill that fucking place. Well, I first moved to, when I first started going to the store, we would go right down the corner of the Santa Monica Boulevard, right by Fairfax. If you move in, there's a 7-Eleven on the corner, two doors down. There's a Mexican place that had the best chicken taco. I like chicken with rice and beans, smothered with red sauce.

Yeah. With cheese and they burn the cheese. Oh, nice crusty. Oh, tastes like cheeses when it gets like that with a fucking Diet Coke. Stop it. You go home, you get five in those days. I used to sleep five hours. I know.

And that's four hours. It's like nothing when I first moved to Hollywood and you'd be fine. You'd wake up because breakdowns, you get breakdowns at six. So whoever would be sending me the breakdowns those days. My goal was to get up and get the breakdowns to the agent. By the time he got in the office, I wanted the agent to go, Jesus fucking Christ. Joey Diaz is sending me another email or what? I would let him know who, who to call what time.

Yep. Like call this guy. This is the role I'm looking to get, you know? So no matter what time I slept five hours, my sleep at me got so bad for a while. How do you know if you have your sleep? Is there any telltale signs if you don't have anybody sleeping with you? Is it just when you die, you know, you're not rested. You you're never really rested.

That's brutal. Do not feel rested by two o'clock. You feel like this because you don't go into that room. Yeah, and even deeper. You don't go into that deep room. Yeah. So you feel kind of. Something isn't right.

So this is how bad it got for me. I would take. Holy shit, I'm completely okay. I would take four time on PM six of them and I would go to bed at one and at one forty five, I'd be awake and I'd stay awake the rest of them. Oh, my God, because I know if I go to bed, I just wake up choking. I got how many how many years did you do that? Like how long was that how you slept or didn't it went from one level to like it

went from the snoring to me waking up and my girlfriend's a living room type shit, the roommates telling me dog. What the fuck? It does sound like an animal. It's it's an interesting. No, it was my roommate in in. Hollywood, he came out one night and he goes, I had to put fucking earphones on last night.

Oh, man. Put a towel around my head. He goes, what's going on with you? So you're not even disrupt. It's too sleepy or disrupting. I didn't know what it was. I didn't really know what it was. Then I moved in with a girl and she was like, amen.

What the fuck? There's this. There's a creature coming out of you. It's coming through the walls. There's a sleep apnea demon coming out of your respiratory system. And then it went right into this. The snoring was going on for a few years. Yeah.

And I just wrote it off the snoring. But then I went through the six or seven month process, just made that things were happening that were weird. Like during your when you were awake. No, I was asleep and I would go to bed. And then next to, you know, I'm up and I wake up like choking, right? You know, choking. And then I would fall.

I would try to couch. And then I figured out the only way I could sleep was on a certain slant. I had to sleep on a certain angle, like put pillows a certain way. And then I figured out that I could sleep in the tub. All these movie stars, they buy the homes and 11 million dollar homes. And after 10 minutes in the shower, they got to run out because there's no hot water. You ever notice that you were going to somebody's nicest house and they got a beautiful house and you were in their shower by yourself for 10 minutes.

The house gets cold and you're like, why have a million dollar house? You can get some hot water. Yeah, hot water is like a luxury. I lived in a building in Hollywood that they had a connection to the hot water factory, which meant that the hot water never ran out. Right. So it got to the point where I was taking a pillow, putting the garbage bag over. No, I would go in the bathroom, lock the fucking door, put the bathroom on nice

and hot, and I would lay there and just let the hot water lay on me. And I would wake up and I get five or six hours sleep. A sleep in the tub and a tub of water. No, with the shower hitting my. Okay. I thought you were like constant. I was like, like how Whitney Houston went to sleep. That's how she died.

Yeah. People really, people always goofed around. Oh, she died of coke. Yes. But in an awkward manner, she died of coke because she was so coked up. And I listen to the, I mean, we're a hero family here. One of my biggest things when you, when you do coke after a certain level, you start getting paranoid.

Yeah. I've never done it ever. So one of the biggest things were after a while, when you're alone, and after you make, after you call Jesse, and she ain't coming over and you call every chick, you know, it's not coming over. And you start to like spiral in your mind. Spiral. And you start looking out windows and you start looking under beds and you're

going to a kitchen and see a shadow. And also at some point, the only safe place you feel with this addiction, it happened like the last five to 10 years of my addiction. My favorite place was the shower. Wow. It would have, with a certain position, I would lock the door, close it, and I would have the curtain a certain way. You felt calm in there.

I could go in there and I could jerk off and hang out with hot water and jerk off and hang out. I don't know how many times I wanted to shower. Hang out with hot water and jerking off. Sounds great. I would stay in the shower until the hot water ran out. Like I would go to Vegas. If somebody, I don't care who, I fucking Abdullah Mohammed, if ISIS was doing a

show and they wanted me to open for them in Vegas, I would go just for the shower. Because I know that I'm going to run out of hot shower. I could always get cocaine, but I could jerk off in there from fucking eight. Like I would leave. There's no restrictions. Oh yeah. I would go on a shower for an hour, come out, dry up, leave the water running, do two more lines, take a sip of wine and go back in the fucking.

Holy shit. Half a pill. Oh yeah. You're indestructible. You must be bionic. All the things you've been through. But that's hot. And then the sleep apnea got to a level where I would get in the car with you.

What's up, dog? Nothing. You'd be driving at the first light. I'd fall on top of it and you'd go, Joey, you'd pass out. You'd fall asleep because this was the position of choice. Oh, that's the only way you could fall asleep right there. That position right there. So when you fly, do people like shake you awake?

We're getting there. One time I was in Newark and I got on a flight and I sat down. I was like, number two on the plane. I scanned myself on there. I had like a neck brace or something. Handicapped army vet, whatever the fuck I went up there. I got on the plane, dog, and I fucking sat down in this united flight and I actually took my head back and I fell asleep.

I don't know how long I was asleep. I woke up to a circle of people around me. Oh, fuck. And the stewardess waking me up, going, sir, sir. And all of a sudden, like this guy came in and he goes, are you okay? We've never heard anything like that before in our lives. All the planes we've flown. It sounds like a jet engine.

People are putting their luggage in their thing. We've had a physician to come and check you out, but you're going to miss this flight. I'm like, what are you talking about? And they're like, you're going to miss this flight. We're sorry, but we can't let you get out and play like that. I was sober as a judge. You know, I don't drink enough. I didn't know the plane had even taken off.

No, I didn't know what they were talking about. Supposedly I was snoring so fucking loud on that plane that people couldn't even war like it was the disruptive fucking the pilot couldn't even hear himself or fucking they came with security. Oh, my God, security, a medic. They kicked you off. Yeah, they didn't kick me off. They was nice as they could be.

You know, I don't remember what airline it was. It wasn't it wasn't known. Nobody high priced. Did they let you fly or they made you get off? They made me get off. They had a doctor check my blood pressure and all this stuff. And they said, OK, you could get on the next flight. So I don't wait like five hours.

Oh, fuck. They gave me a voucher or something. But that made me think like that was like, wow, that's. Something's going on. Something's going on. Yeah. OK. And I continue to avoid it. Is the only way to deal with it, that machine. Are there other treatments?

There's surgeries that involve a ton. And now with technology, technology is so great with it now. And more people have have acknowledged it. Like guys have to just go get a sleep study. Insurance covers it. They trust me. Your insurance covers it. And I know all the scams for you to pressure your insurance company.

Yeah, you have to explain to them that you're getting sleep apnea. But see, you know, today's world we live in. I just it's fucking amazing how bad the medical. I have great insurance. Oh, it doesn't matter. It doesn't matter. I go cardiac, Graham, two weeks ago. I just got the results yesterday. You know, and I had to make 18 calls.

Oh, my doctor calls you. You can't call them back. The fucking paperwork. It's horrible. The loopholes. The loopholes have to go just to get somewhere and that's a deadly disease. Yeah, like you could fucking like I was at the point where I was about to fucking die. So what you have to do is get the sleep study. They call you the next day. You got it.

This is the extremity. All right, give me the machine. Insurance will tell you, OK, it takes 30 days for approval. No, it doesn't because I drive. I have to drive my kids and I have to drive my wife to work every day. So if I fall asleep behind a wheel and you have to tell them that and that's when they'll make an appointment for you to go get your sleep's machine quickly. If not, they'll store you with that for another 30 fucking days. And then you have to pick the model and wait another 30 days.

Such bullshit. No, so fucking. So I go Joe Chadwick, the ex-manager from the improv in Miami. Yeah. And a bartender had stolen so much money from the Miami improv. But they decided to leave the Miami improv and open up the Little Rock, Arkansas, a funny boat. OK, it was a fucking. It was the size. It was bigger than the comedy store. It was an old dance club. Yeah. So they bought it.

And at that time, I had the longest shirt. I know. No, no, no, no, I did not have anything. They just liked me. And they said, could you headline the room? Little Rock, Arkansas, the Bible Belt. I just don't do too good. Yeah. But Ralph, he had been down there the week before, two weeks before that, or a month or Ralph, he opened the room and Ralph.

He said it was a good room at the time. Ralph, he wasn't even on Lance Comic Standing or anything. But what I do remember is that they put us up in cheap hotels. Oh, I can't stand that. They put Ralph up in a fucked up hotel. He broke the bed for the first night. So the guy that owned the bed, the hotel is a Korean guy, something. And he was yelling at Ralph.

He passed. He was pissed. So this day, if Ralph comes back from the grave, they'll tell you, that's all a lie. Listen, he broke the bed. Then they brought another bed up. Then he broke that one too. Oh, my God. And they asked him to leave. That big son of a bitch. Then they had to put us in a better hotel.

But that's what worked out by the time I got there, we were at the better hotel. And, you know, I don't know what night it was, you know, you know, like when the club calls you and says, we'll pick up at seven fifteen being the hotel lobby. Yep. And I went to the hotel lobby and I looked outside. I didn't see anybody. So I sat on the fucking couch and I was just minding my business. And next thing, you know, just some day.

I'm getting woken up again. Oh, it's a white dude, like just the most handsome, fifty year old dude you've ever seen in your life, just stone cold gorgeous. Yeah. And he's like, hey, hey, sir. He goes, I don't mean to wake you up. Do you have three minutes of your time? I'm like, yeah, you know, my God, what the fuck? I thought I was one of the cops.

I didn't know what he was. And he went in his pocket and he gave me a card and he goes, I'm Dr. Such and such, you don't know me. Because you don't know me. I don't know who you are, but I will tell you, I've been sitting there for the last five minutes listening to you. And he goes, now that I'm up front and I'm looking at you. You have about two weeks left.

What? Just like that. Oh, fuck, it's also a really good business. No, no, this guy wasn't fucking around. I'm sure he was great. But he was a little bit, no, no, no, no, no. I couldn't go to him. He was in Little Rock, Arkansas. I live in L.A. How could he tell?

He just sat down and said, I just listened to you for the last five minutes. You almost just died four times because you choke. Right. And then you pass the fuck out. So the time that you stop, your heart works. Yep. So like you go, so you get what's called, they call them interruptions. So he goes, I didn't even count. Like he's talking this lingo to me. And at first I was a little offended,

but by that time I was old enough that I could take criticism. Yeah. Like if I was twenty twelve, I would have told him to get the fuck out of here and mind his business. But by that time, somebody had already told me I sucked in comedy and I could have been good if you do that. So I accepted people talking to me in that tone. He wasn't even talking down to me.

He was talking to me in a way that was very serious. And he goes, do you know what sleep happening is? And I go, no. And he goes, you have it. And he goes, at that time, he go, he spit a number out at me. Like what kind of a number? Like how many people are dying? Right. The statistics and they don't. And they don't even know that died.

Right. And they're just pat. They're just dying in their sleep because this leads to obesity. It leads to diabetes. So this is killing people like a snake, like an octopus. It's got eight ways to kill you. He goes and right now you're dying from three of them. Shit. And I was like. That's that's intense.

To be dying from something that goes on in your sleep. So he goes, I want you to do me a favor. You don't know me. He goes, this is my card. And he put his hand down. He goes, my name is whatever. He goes, it's out of my hands, but by your skin color. You asked Josh Wolf.

Josh Wolf told me. He goes, oh, yeah. There was a time that every time I'd see I go, that's the last I want to see him. He goes, you could tell by but this is an addiction. Yeah. This was not sleeping. It's an accumulation of a lot of shit. I was at this time, I was probably. Three sixty.

Fuck, you know, sixty five. Not sleeping, eating shit, doing drugs, doing drugs on the road. I mean, that's what I'm saying. You're a bionic. At that time, I didn't know how to do the road. I had gone. You don't learn the tricks. I did not. I had gone on the road with Rogan, but I had not figured out why Rogan did what he did. Yeah. Rogan did what he did for a reason.

And I wasn't doing it like. Right. I was doing it completely opposite to Rogan. And I was losing. Yeah, I was losing. I was just a fucking. So that's what made me start tightening up my road game. I came back, I told my wife what happened. And, you know, once you tell your girlfriend, oh, we're we're like, OK, shit's changing. She got on the phone. Yeah, we change shit.

She took the day off from work and took me down there. And, you know, I still remember getting the machine, the guy coming in and waking me up like I fell asleep in the air. Any time I would get in this position, this two minutes, I'd be talking to you. Yes, you. I wish I could sleep like that. It was maybe I need to put on some weight. It was really horrible.

And I advised people like, you know, you don't know all these diseases. No, you don't, especially when they're almost like a silent killer. I don't mean. I know your dad just passed. And I'm very sorry about his death and because I have a best friend that he said he lived with his dad. There was 92. Yeah, my dad was 80. About 82, I couldn't charge him. What years were burned?

Oh, I can't be brutal. He said it was he goes when he died because not that we didn't love him. Felt relief. He broke his nose. He punched a nurse. He choked the wife out. They were married for 50 years. He woke up one night and started choking my friend's mom.

Who the fuck are you in this bed? Yeah, shit like that. My dad was throwing his shit at his roommate. Yeah, like just like what? Like, yeah, they just it changes everything. They don't start to recognize you like he didn't. He didn't. He knew Jimmy. Like I asked Jimmy about six months ago when I was home, I go,

what, you miss your dad? They were talking and he goes back to him. There's nothing to miss that. That's the most every brutal part. He goes every fucking day. Yeah, you mourn them while they're alive because you a piece of them dies every fucking day. Was it? Yeah, it's so brutal.

It's such a it's an excruciating disease to deal with if you're the caregiver. Like if Jimmy was taking care of his dad, that's it's so hard. It's so expensive to take care of your family if they're at home and they're sick and they're going crazy every single day. Something else, something new happens where you're like, well, I don't know what this is. And it's so hard to not take it personally when you're loved, when a parent or your mother or father is not sure who you are

and they're talking shit to you because they don't know who you are. How do you not take that personally? It's your fucking parent. It's a really it's a brutal disease. But it's also funny. There's a lot of funny shit that happens that, you know, you can't plan for. Like I've been working on it, putting it into my set a little. But the day my boyfriend met my dad,

my dad answered the door with just a t-shirt on and his dick hanging just below the t-shirt and my dad didn't think anything was wrong with it. He was like, hey, come on in. And I just kind of look at Derek and he's like, what do I do? I'm like, I don't know. Take your dick out, too. I don't know if this is like a Sicilian standoff and he just wants to see if you're going to take care of me. I have no idea.

So my dad was just there. I had to like scoop him into the bathroom and get him taken care of. It is this type of disease where you really have to have a humility about yourself and the situation in order to handle it. What do they say with marijuana with dementia? Well, you know, we avoid it by smoking it. Can we? I mean, you know how I feel. I'm in the same family with you when it comes to any sort of.

Drug like that, any sort of like, you know, psychedelic or THC CBD. I saw a physical change in my father, Charlottes Web. You know the Charlottes Web company, Stanley Brothers? They reached out to me because they saw stories I was posting about him and they sent me a care package, a really, really nice care package. And one of the things they sent me was this olive oil extra strength CBD tincture. And sorry, it was just oil and not a tincture. It was a droplet, you know, you put him under your tongue.

It's like a sublingual thing. So my father was in the hospital. My sister and I were there and he's just, you know, when people get older, they're just rigid and they just look uncomfortable. And his face was like he had this like expression of discomfort. And so I looked at my sister and I was like, what the fuck do we have to lose? This isn't going to he's not going to go wild on CBD. Let's just see what it does.

So I put it like four or five drops under his tongue. Literally 15 minutes later, my sister and I were just standing, seeing if we could see any visible effects. We could see him decompress. We literally saw him relax his shoulders. His face went from a grimace to just relaxed. He took a breath and he started breathing normally. And he just like it looked like he had rested for the first time in weeks.

And that's when I was like, well, there's something to this. That's not that's scientific proof enough for me. And that's all we want from people in our lives. We're just people we love. We want them to have comfort. We don't want them going out choking mother fuckers and throwing shit. You know, it's brutal. It's like a prison scene in in in some crazy jail cell.

I don't want to put my family through that. No, no one does, you know, no one does. We were lucky, though. He was he was sick for a year from diagnosis to death. So we got off pretty easy. A lot of people sit with that disease for five, six, ten years. He sat with him. Yeah, the average is like eight years that people are sick with the disease.

Fuck that. He said he saw the degeneration. That's the sad thing, watching it. It's an inevitable. It's a fucking train. So Jimmy has two other brothers, so one, you know, they both had families. They lived the way he goes. He got to the point where every time they came in, he's like, I'm calling the police.

There's a burglar in that. So there's a burglar about your fucking sons. Well, they're not fucking burglars. You know, shit like that. Yeah. It's wild. It was wild. Like I can't even imagine. And, you know, I've done more acid growing up. I know somewhere along the line, I have to pay for this.

I don't think that's necessarily true. I mean, you live the life, you know, there's people out there doing much worse. You pay for it. Look at look at Ozzy. I was born now. Yeah. Is Parkinson's. That's brutal.

You know, Mitch, he sure had it. Those diseases are so brutal. Richard Pryor. Yeah. Robin Williams thought he had it. But I think it was Lubaody dementia. We did that 80s cocaine. 80s cocaine. And I'm just trying to be real with myself.

I think any train you ride. I'm prepared. I'm prepared because I did that 80s cocaine. Yeah, knows what that does to your central nervous system. And then we have to count in trauma. Right. We have to count in TBI, CTs, my mom died. Oh, that type of type of trauma.

You know, not getting that role on CBS pilot. You know, what you don't think is traumatizing, you know, heartbreak of lives. You know, all this is all tied into that. So there's times you sit there, you know, it's like this. Remember when the what's that eye disease you get? Glaucoma. They make you smoke pot. Glaucoma, yeah.

You and I are preventing glaucoma. Yeah, we are. Like we're like a way ahead of the game. Like, you know, so I just want to know that. Because of the marijuana use. Like, yeah, it's not going to make it worse. Listen, if that's what you're worried about. I mean, I'm not a I'm a doctor on Mondays on my Instagram,

but I'm not a real doctor. But I there's no science to say it gets it where it makes anything worse with that. If anything, it's it helps. I've said it once. I've said a thousand times that there's a horror lives that lives in my head of me one day, putting peanut butter in my ass and walking into a business, taking it out, throwing it on the wall because because I did because I want to sandwich now for some reason.

Brain of brain develops to I forget what age, 25. Yeah, it's about 25. I did so much LSD from 15 to 17. And then we went from from from 17 to. Two thousand seven. It was the straight central nervous. Yeah, just a constantly shocking your system. And I always tell people at the end, I would towards the end,

like the last six months of my co-condition, I was getting fucking a jolt in my spine. Like a neurological reaction, something that was not good. Right. It was not good. Yeah, like it was not good. And when I felt it, I would finish the coke I had now be it for the night. Yeah, I wouldn't try to get any more or nothing. I felt it maybe four or five times and that was that I got off the fucking blow. Yeah. So I know that I'm I'm expecting some.

Are you is it a fear of yours? Are you are you afraid of some sort of impact, like some sort of karmic situation? Not karmic. It's more of. Because you said you feel like you haven't come into it. You know, you get a fucking 1970 Cadillac, one of the toughest cars ever made, whatever Mustang, all those American built cars, especially when they were built back then. They just take so much. It depends how you treat them along the way.

Absolutely. There's something to that for sure. I have to think about how you treat them all the way, you know, let me figure it out on paper here. Let's be honest, the mileage. Let's be honest on the family matter here. Yeah, you figure from the age of. Seventeen. Thirty.

Thirty five, I didn't see a doctor. Well, I think during those ages, you're hopefully you're not seeing a doctor. Just for a checkup. And I mean, I had fucking chlamydia. I just mean, that's a Tuesday. They just went away. Yeah, like, I didn't go to the doctor to get rid of it. Please got chlamydia right now.

I still remember eating the chicks monkey and seeing the chlamydia drip from a month. Oh, God, there goes my post podcast smoothie. Chlamydia drip. They're at Coachella this year. Like, I know that I've had all those things and, you know, there was a couple of years when you were broke comic and you have to decide whether you're going to pay rent or go to the dentist. Yeah.

And, you know what, I took a bottle of Jack Daniels. I got a fucking half a gram of blow and I ripped out all these teeth. All this shit is false back here. All this is fake. All this back here. These are all rinsed out. Wow, yeah, all done with a wrench. And then with a wrench and a bottle of no, oh, please, no, please, Joey,

you have no fucking idea when you're living with. Listen, when you're living with pain inside of you, look at my face from picking my face. I would, I would have got imaginary bugs in my face and I would squeeze my face until I remember sitting with Rogan and I would have scabs all over the fucking place. It was like a different form of self-mutilation from the addiction. Now I see it. Now I see it. You know, I would get a fucking head that a little pimple and I would squeeze it

till the fucking root came out. Oh, my gosh. Everything came out of it. Skin. Man, there's a hair in there. There is nothing in there. That's a fucking cocaine making you creep in your fucking skin. I didn't know cocaine made you paranoid like that. If I, that's why I've never touched it, because I know if I did, I would explode.

I would explode. So out of all the surgeries I did, there was one mola that wouldn't go. Wait, are you calling what you did to yourself in surgery? Yeah, he's a doctor. Out of all the surgeries I did, Dr. Diaz, hello. I pulled this one out. So it was one, two, three, four molars I pulled out. Out of one of them that I pulled out was in the middle here for years.

It was there from 90. I love your two and a half. To about 2000. You gotta hear this shit. It sounds like a nuke is in the block run. You gotta hear this shit. It had broken in half, but it had become an abscess. You know, if you go to a dentist, you'll die from an abscess.

Yeah, well, I'm living proof. All right. I had an abscess for six years. If you have an abscess, please go to the dentist. Yes, go immediately, because there's so painful and dangerous. It would fill up with pus and I would go like this and it would shoot out. Joe. So I would go to the comic book.

I would go to the comic book. And if I didn't like you, I would position myself by you and I would squeeze this thing would shoot out in a jacket and you wouldn't even know. By the end, how good are you right now? I would let it fill up on purpose every two weeks until I can't handle it. Between the booger jacket and this, I can't handle it. You don't like blood. I can't handle pus and boogers and you're wrench molars.

But he won't eat hummus. He won't eat hummus. This guy won't eat fucking hummus. But he's out here wrenching out his molars and squeezing his abscess juice on people. You mean to ask Joe Rogan lace ago, right? We watch and squeeze people in the fucking pub. Rogan loves you. He has such a deep love for you because he knows how hot of my mind I was.

I had this little stem that just stuck out of my mouth. What stem? It was just the stem of the tooth. Like this is just a fucking this is just a design. The tooth is completely different. This mola is complete. Why don't you take the shell off? It's like a fucking bone.

So I had a bone and I swear to God, I would feel it. It was like I was chewing tobacco. Once I felt this swell up, I'm like, all right, it's time. Oh, God. If somebody bothered me at the store, I would go up behind them and it's like some crack head superhero. And sometimes the white head would come on this side. No. Oh, that's when I had a double.

And I would go like this and the white head will go this way and the fucking juice from the tooth would go that way. Juice from the tooth. Who says that? And the best part about it is it made him so happy. I didn't get it. I didn't get it. I was like, I almost died from sleep apnea

cutting you poisoning people with your abscess juice. That's why yesterday, my wife is like, I go to give the baby the medication. She said she has to eat something first. I'm like, give her a fucking milkshake and put it in there. She goes, well, no, it doesn't count. I go, what do you mean? Coating your stomach means milking your fucking stomach.

I grew up with a different reference. That's why I don't believe most things. Yeah, because I lived with a fucking abscess for six years. You know those shows on TLC, like my 600 pound life and sex sent me to the ER. I lived with my abscess tooth for years needs to be a series of just people. Have you seen Dr. Pimple Popper?

I think you might like it. Disgusting. You don't like it? A little Chinese woman. Yeah. It's so oddly satisfying. I like the black head, dear. Oh, and like, it looks like hooves come out of people's necks.

Yeah, that's what I like about it. Listen, I love having a good pimple and poppin' it yourself. Like a nice white head, like a nice, like a smile. Jesus. I remember one time when I was like... I'm gonna fucking vomit. Lately is already about to vomit. I remember one time I was about 18.

I'm not going to like this story. And I had a lump in my head over here. A lump in your head? This is one big insurance commercial. I had this little lump in my head. One of the surgeries. So I went to my friend, I go, what's this fucking lump? She was like a sister to me.

I went to a house to be, you know, we all hung out together. I go, what's this lump? And she goes, I don't know. And she put drawing salve on it with a, with a, with a bandaid. And I went out that night and everybody made fun of me. What's up with the bandaid? And the next damn, I'm awake and I must have been 18. And I took the bandaid off and the lump had gotten bigger.

Oh, fuck. And I'll never forget just going like this. No, no. And it was like a hole opened up and it was like... A fly flew out? A fucking no, a stream of pus and it dripped down the mirror. No, I forget. I was in love with pimple popping after that.

I couldn't wait to get a pimple. I never got another one like that. That was the one. Well, it sounds like you had one in your, in your mouth for a few years. The one in my mouth. Was that one sad? And then you ever get the one, the best of the ones you get under your tongue after you eat ass and pussy?

Oh, I don't know if I've ever gotten one of those. I've eaten so much ass and pussy. That sounds like herpes. Yeah. I think that's a herpe. Really? You get them under your tongue? Like a little whitehead, you pop it.

I don't know if that's, yeah. I think you should start a clinic for people. The joy T.S. What the fuck is that? Help clinic. But I think my immune system has overcome all these different diseases. You're going to be fine. After a while, you have so many things and also your immune system just gives up.

I think you're going to, I think you're going to outlive us all. I really do. Knock out what? I hope your words. I think you're going to outlive us all. I just don't want to look like a half a retard, old man with three heads and somebody's got to push me. Take me to the county store.

I will happily push you anywhere. After 65, don't take me to the county store. Nobody. I never want to be one of those dudes that shows up dressed up in a suit like I was somebody 20 years ago. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The same suit from 20 years ago. I do not want to be one of those guys at all going there when I'm old, like in the Hall

of Fame. You're like, that's one over. Yeah. Get the fuck out of here. You're squeezing your abscess into everybody in the audience. Yeah, when you're 75 and you have a lot of issues, you'll have so much fun. You're going to have so much fun. You have no way like I got fucking my arm got cut, didn't go to the hospital, the scar

is gone. This one here, you could still see the V. Do you see that V? Yeah, that V. What is that from? It's like a satanic symbol. I had a glove on and I was robbing a bookie and the cop came. I remember the karma thing. And I had to jump the fence and I ran through the door and there was a six foot fence that

I'm watching. It was behind a path mark in West New York, New Jersey, and I'm running. I'm running. I got the dog on my tail. I don't even look back because if you look back, he blows time and I jumped up, grabbed the fence and I grabbed the barbed wire with this hand. Guys, at 19, I was a fucking savage. I made it over the fence.

But when I went to get on the other side, my hand got caught in the fence. Now I talk about bleeding and everything all the time. The cops are about 80 yards from me. And I'd never forget looking at them and my arm being caught in the barbed wire and me trying to go, ah, like, yell. And how I did it through the God's grace. I pulled myself up. I loosened it and as I was loosening it, I could feel the blood hitting my face.

And I'm like, oh my God, I loosened it. I dropped the dog was barking at the fence and I just headed fucking back home. And I could feel the moisture in the glove. And I went home and I fucking changed my clothes. I wiped my face. I didn't pass out by the grace of God. I explained to me a couple of minutes and I went to the bar. I told everybody I owed money to that was waiting to make it.

I was going to rob a book. I told everybody stay here. Yeah. Being two hours of your envelope. We got an eight ball. We'll get the party started. I had to go up there and break the news to everybody. And I sat there at the bar all night with this glove, with another glove on it.

Bleeding, just drinking. And people are like, what's with the glove? I'm like, don't worry about it. Mind your business. I'm just drinking all night. And the next morning I woke up and it was like a fucking mess. It was like a mitt. So I had to go to my friend Bonehead's house.

Oh, good. He sounds like a good medical professional. Everyone had a good mother took the glove off. And then this glove was tangled with the skin. Ew. So like Coco, we don't know what to do. So they cut around the glove and they took me to the hospital with the skin. So since it was after 12 hours, they couldn't stitch it.

So they loosened the glove, they took it out of the skin, put the flap over and made me put, you know, gauze on it and they said, you were going to move. You were going to lose the movement in this finger and possibly this finger because you cut a tendon. I mean, it was bad guy. Is it good now? Because you're indestructible. My finger up your ass.

That sounds like a great Easter Sunday. Oh, forget it. Oh, let's sit on a finger. I'll stick my finger so deep up your ass. Turn me into a marionette puppet. I want to smell the kidney. You know what I'm saying? It'll be a muppet.

You're going to smell the kidney. Bam, there you go. A butt muppet. Turn me into Elmo. Are you OK? Are you alive, Lee? No, no, this is, it's amazing. The fact that you're still alive.

Right. No wonder you're happy all the time. I'm like, fuck it. No wonder he wakes up and like it's another day, cocksuckers. You got to be fine. I will say that like any sort of neurological thing is not like Alzheimer's is not a normal part of getting older. But I don't think you need to worry about it.

I think you're going to be good. We all remember things from 1973. You have a great memory. You have a great memory. I'm forget like if I don't log into Weight Watches right after I eat, I got to sit there for an hour at night and figure out what I eat. That sounds like selective forgetfulness. No, no, no, no, it's bad.

It's been bad lately. But we're we're in on you dated with stimuli. I forget about 2014. The whole year. I can't tell you anything about 2016. All I can tell you is from 19 from 2000 backwards. I can tell you very more vividly. Maybe it's better for your for your own good that you don't remember every single thing.

We're not meant to remember everything. To be fair, from 2014 to 2018, we weren't taking about two thousand milligrams at least twice a week, and you were taking it more often. How many are in you right now, Lee? None. Really? Yeah, no, I'm good. He's just half regarded. No, at this time, he took a lot of beating those four years.

Are you just constantly high? I don't remember those four years. People come on and be like, Hey, I'll say, Hey, nice to meet you. They've been like, I've been on the podcast like three times. Yeah, so maybe you just you said, maybe that was going around the other day. But I got puking on himself. No, how the baseball game. You talking about the meme?

Yeah. Oh, yeah. I wish you that night. I could see you doing that, Lee. I did. Oh, my God. That was the acid bucket of vomit. Acid mushrooms. But sugar in the pills. We gave everything.

It's like all of that. You can't do the Diaz cornucopia. No, I jumped right into it. You have to do the Diaz cornucopia because it's the only way it's going to work. That's for you. No, if I did the Diaz cornucopia, I would shoot to another galaxy. I'd be in Andromeda right now. I'd be up there with Neil deGrasse and floating on some fucking Milky Way

in another universe. People think I'm high all the time. You're sober right now, Lee. That's bullshit. Your eyes haven't been open. Yeah. No, I don't. It's just in my fat. I guess I have no idea.

It's just there. Do you have sleep apnea? Probably. Lee, you need to take care of yourself. I know. A cute face. You better take care of that. I'm trying. No, but it's I was thinking about it when you were guys.

I do need to go to get a sleep test. I'm going to tell you something. Get a sleep test. I'm going to tell you something right out, guys. It's fucking easy. The sleep test? The sleep apnea test. Are you staying in a facility?

It's in a facility. You're going to a facility. It's only one night, right? Yeah, one night. Cozy bed. Why are you up? Yeah, it's a cozy bed. They feed you? You want me to tell you one time?

Yeah. Right now I'm supposed to go every year. The problem with me is when I went, remember when I went for sleep apnea, I was at 390. Yeah. Was that your highest weight? No, 418. But between the working out and the weight lost,

I lost all that weight that was here. Like when I felt this bone, I'm in an appointment for the doctor. I'm like, I got a thing. I got a tumor. He goes, there's no tumor. That's a bone. What?

I haven't felt this thing in 20 fucking years. You're sturdum? Yeah, I haven't felt this thing in 20 years. I thought it was a tumor, I was dying. So because I lost that weight here, and now I lift, and I'm still burning that weight. Like I'm falling asleep on couches now. I'm falling asleep on a plane a little bit,

not waking up like. Right, grasping for air. My, when you have the sleep apnea world has come a long fucking way. About a year ago, I busted out my old sleep apnea machine. Oh my God. What? I almost died.

It didn't work? No, no. It was just to let you know where I was then, and where I am now. Because there's different gauges. Number 20 being the highest, and I still needed help at 20. And 20 is me shooting like,

you ever open up a fire hydrant? No. I've been near one, but I've never opened one myself. You ever open up a fire hydrant? Like in Brooklyn in the summer. There's Brooklyn in the summer, and I shoot it out like that. The 20 is that.

20 is basically we're keeping you alive. Like it's just, like if you don't secure the mask before you do it, you can't do it. Pause then. Because it's like wind, it's like when you shot, when I shot Spider-Man 2, there's a scene of Tobin McGuire on a train like this. They had a fan the size of this building

in front of them that they told you you couldn't get 200 feet from. It was like hurricane winds. That's what that 20 was like. And I still had that old machine in the closet. And one night I go, let me just see where I was then. And it was horrifying. Like I couldn't breathe.

Like the air was coming in at such a pace. It was too strong for you. That's how fat and big I was. Now I'm at six to 12. So now they have, technology has really come a long way. So they call flex machines. And a flex machine is a machine that rates you what you're feeling.

So if you need a six, you're at six. If for some reason that night you ate meat, you drank alcohol and you dehydrated, and you need 12, the machine automatically adjusts. So you get 12 pounds of whatever pressure. I don't wanna start talking about stuff I don't know about. Is it a pipe that like, when you put it over your,

is it just a mask or is there? It's a mask that comes, for me, I like the mask, mouth combination. Because I go through my mouth and I push out through my nose and there's an escape valve. Right, like an air. And that's why I'm dying to fuck my wife with the sleep apnea mask.

Because she'll get hit with the escape valve air. Oh yeah, it'd be perfect. So I'm fucking her, she's getting that one eye fucking. Yeah. The one eye is hitting her with the fucking. DP, DP with the apnea machine. With the stream of bad blood and God knows what else. But I'll joke aside.

So for some people, they just could go with the nose machine. But you do the full thing. Jim Norton refuses to use it. So he's gonna live with sleep apnea rest of his life. He likes torture though. Look at Jim Norton. Yeah, he likes torture.

He's gotten skinnier by the years. And he still has it. And the mask bothers him. There's people that the mask bothers you now. What that happens is, like when I go to the doctor and they do the heart stuff, I always check my doctor and they sound like, oh, how's it looking?

And he'll go this scarring from the sleep apnea. I go, what about the cocaine? He goes, nothing. Scarring from the apnea? So 27 years of cocaine didn't really do nothing. But the sleep apnea did more damage than the cocaine. How does it scar you? I don't wanna talk out of line.

If anybody else knows and they wanna share this on the church website, like anybody knows the specifics, there's a part of your heart that this taxes. Wow. Like it was getting to the point. And I just admitted to my wife, when I first got the machine,

my body didn't know how to adjust to it. And I was waking up with my left side from my neck all the way to my waist sore. Like the heart was adjusting to it. Like the heart was all this oxygen. Like it took, the first night I got the machine, I slept well. But then things started looking better for me.

30 days, it went, my skin color started coming back. Like everything was adjusting. 60 days, 90 days. Did you have more energy during the day? Yes, I sort of have more energy during the days. I wasn't as inflamed because not sleeping inflames you. I already was starting to get the 418 with 18 pounds. Once you start seeing the lump on the back.

That fat lump? That's the fat back? Yeah. They just put the new soviet head and you just a couple of days from having to see it. That's some hard truth. Because if you're sleeping, when you choke, that means that your body goes into danger.

So it releases the cortisol and the cortisol stalls. Stores? Conglomerates, yeah. That's like a cortisol sack? Yes. So that's why when you see people with that stuff, they definitely have sleep apnea and their days are numb. People, we gotta take care of ourselves.

Because your body, that means your body's releasing cortisol. That it can't process. That's in shock, I think. I'm not a doctor. I'm just telling you what I've learned over the years from reading. And from time to time I go back to the webpage

to see what new technologies they found or whatever. You know, they have fucking small machines now to travel with. Yeah, it's streamlined now. I love my machine. I love it. Do you have a travel one? Yeah.

Wow. I have a travel one and a guy from my man, I'm gonna give him a shout out over there and fucking Cleveland and Larrity is my man, Nick. And the manager got me a free machine. They did? Yeah, one day. They're so kind.

My wire broke and we went on the radio and we said we needed the wire and some guy goes, I got an extra sleep apnea machine, I don't like it. It's brand new and he gave it to me. So now I got one for the road and one for the... That's great. I think it really, like I said,

ever since I watched that Rogan podcast, I really... Do you remember the guy's name? Yeah, what was the guy's name? The guest. He's a doctor. Next time I see Rogan ask. Yeah, I will. I'm about sleep.

And I read... Why we sleep? Why we... I think, yeah. I have that book. I forget the doctor's name. I think I gave it to somebody. I gave it to somebody and he read it and was blown away.

Yeah. Because he was sleeping in chunks. And he says something wasn't going right in his life. You need at least three of those cycles to get... He was sleeping like nine to 12 and then he would wake up and go to bed from three to six. Oh, fuck that. And then sleep from eight to 10.

Sounds like a chimpanzee schedule. And that means, yeah, that's a big... That's also begins to sleep at me. You're waking up. You don't know why. Yeah, I don't have the choking yet, but I have that. You're choking. Yeah, that means you're choking.

You're two days away from choking, Lee. Yeah, that means you're choking. Your body is waking up for a reason. And now it's starting to get scared. Because after a while, I heard my hamstring and it was so weird that even after it didn't hurt, I was walking a certain way.

I'm still walking a certain way because my mind is protecting that like... Ooh, it's favoring it. Psychologically. So you think that maybe he's hurt. That's not hurting anymore. I'm throwing kicks, I'm squatting. Is your brain anticipating? Because it's not... My brain's anticipating.

When you have to sleep at me after a while, what's fucked up about it is that, why are you gonna go to sleep? It's like, why are you gonna come to my house and I'm gonna smack you. Would you come to my house if I smack you at the floor? Yeah, you're like afraid of sleeping. Yeah, so we're talking...

You might die. Well, how would you? Would you come to my house every time I open the door? I smack you in the face. I would just because I feel like you do it out of love. Why would you keep coming over? That's what it gets to the point of it. You're like, why am I gonna go to sleep?

Right, it's almost like a... You'll fall asleep on a chair and it's an hour and a half and all of a sudden your body starts accepting that. It's fucking... That's brutal. It's a fucking nightmare. That's brutal. It's so crazy how we adapt

and almost the adapting is a thing that can be detrimental. And I'm very lucky because I would take those six or seven or eight down all PMs and I wouldn't sleep and I would start smoking a cigarette. Oh, fuck.

Two or three packs a day at night and then I would nod with the cigarettes. And... You could have blown yourself up. I was like a junkie that carpet looked like... I had to buy it in the park. Like Ray Liotta's face? Yeah.

It was all pockmarked from cigarette. I had to buy a new carpet for that fucking apartment. How many people do you think have lived a life like you? What percentage? A lot. You think so? A lot.

The people who didn't... Listen, man, I grew up without a mind. In the era. So I didn't give a fuck. It's not like I had a reason to live. You know, when you're just out there in the world alone, you and the back of your mind are like, I'm alone.

I'm gonna take chances other people wouldn't be able to take. Do you find you have fans who come up to you after shows or message you who have lived a similar life and you've sort of helped them through stuff? Everybody has lived. Like not everybody, but you should watch it.

Like I call it uncut gems. Did you watch it? Oh. One of Sandler's greatest, I think. That was one of my life for years. That was ballroom from Peter the Paper. That's a heavy stress life. Was that close to reality?

Yeah. That's a fucking way to live. Always on the scan. Remember I sold the membership to the mob for 2000. Are they taking new enrollees? And I made the guy for an application. That needs to be the beginning of your movie. For years, I would see him and he'd go,

they never called me. And I go, they're gonna call you any day. They're gonna call you. You know. A membership to the mob? How is that not a fucking show? It was just something that it was, if you're gonna, at that point in my life,

it was if you're gonna be this stupid, I'm gonna rob you. And that was just like your motto. That was my. Was that how you survived? That was how I survived. If you're gonna be this stupid, I gotta rob you. If you're gonna, if I'm gonna come over to your life, if, if Jessame brings me to Lee to buy an ounce of Coke,

some Lee. You're gonna rob him. And Lee, and I know Lee's, you know, his schedule, he leaves the Coke out, or this is where he stashes it. This is going down. Yeah. If you're that stupid, I'm gonna fucking rob you. And do you think that all goes back to like being,

growing up without a mom, like not having that. It all goes back to love. It all goes back to when you are raised Catholic and you really, really, really believe in God, which I still do, we wouldn't, I wouldn't be here if, you know, he would. If there wasn't a higher power. And the only thing in the world you have is your mother

and then the lights go out when you're 16. You, there was no therapy in those days. Right. It was shameful to take care of yourself. So no, no, it wasn't that I had to take care of myself. I chose. I could have lived in Florida with family or in California with my uncle.

I just chose for the first time in my life I had been accepted into this neighborhood. I worked hard to get accepted into this fucking neighborhood. Now I gotta pick up and leave. Fuck it. So I stayed in that town. And what happened to me mentally was I felt that my belief in God, what God takes away a mother.

Right. What God takes away a mother. And what's funny was just, I met this girl in the eighth grade that was fucking hot. I like Irish chicks. She had like strawberry blonde hair. Fair skin, freckles. Yeah, she was just good looking.

I always felt bad about this. I dated her for a few months. Very eighth grade, Jessame. Innocent. She went to whole, you know, she went to, we play for St. Michael's CYL. She went to Holy Rosary Academy. Right there, that was a sign.

I wasn't gonna try anything for 90 days. 90 days, the sacrament. Like 90 days, nothing until something happens and I suck your tit. Because it always happened with sucking your tit first. Yeah, that's, you know, it's like the admission. This is the admission to the pussy part. For Catholic.

For the girls, I liked the Irish girls and the Italian girls. Right. It was, you know. A little faster. It was. The Italian girls. It was, you know, six or seven dates

and you got a little tit. Wow. And then you tried for the pussy for another month and a half and then one night they let you touch it. Just a pet. A pettit. And then they cry a little bit.

It's a petting girl. I can't believe how you touched my pussy. I feel so dirty. I'm so gross. What's God gonna thank? God don't give a fuck. I'm a dirty whore. God wants you to be a whore.

It's not good over. And then. God wants you to be a whore. Oh yeah. He said it in the Bible. It's a great sound bite. I think Mary Magdalene's there. You're the new, you're the new Mary.

Don't worry about nothing. And then you finger them and that's another three month process. Three months to get to fingering. Oh, you finger them and then, you know, to leave it in there with nobody looking. And then you have to make them come. Yeah.

To finger them. Once you make them come with the finger, now they're in. Now you're there, God. Now you're there. Now you're there. Hi, can we get more of that? Yeah.

Now they like that. Now you can work them and stuff. And then it takes another three months to take them back to the house. And yeah, it's just a process. It was just a fucking. Oh, these girls have restraint. Took me like a cheese dog and a high five.

No, but it was also me too. My mom had raised me a certain way. You were a good boy. It was also me too. I was horny as fuck. I'm not gonna sit here and tell you I was a good boy. I was horny as fuck. Well, being horny doesn't make you bad.

I just told the me too story on the Rogan podcast about me being 15 in love with Faye, a milk from the neighbor. She me too, Jew? No, I was gonna meet to her. I fucking did angel dust and got some flowers that my mother had in the house and they're waiting the bushes for her to come out.

And I was gonna tackle her with the flowers and fucking suck a pussy. I had never sucked a pussy before. I had sucked titties before, but I was gonna fucking just rape her and do something about it. I didn't know just a minute now. You're just gonna dive bomb and suck a pussy?

You're gonna suck a pussy out of the blue? You know, like in those days. Just an ambush or a puss? Because she was hot. She was like 37 and I knew both her daughters. But her husband was like 60 and he knew, you know, he paid the bill. 60?

Yeah, it was one of those little- That's a girl after my own heart. Right. Gotta get the old fuckers. She was bang. I bet she was. Faye was beautiful. That's a name of a pretty woman.

Faye, one syllable. That's a woman who knows how to put on eyeliner. She knows that was sticking up. Yeah, perky tits. She wore a hot pants and she used to wear what's called a halter top. Oh yeah. Which makes her from the 70s to make it so good.

Yeah, make it look like full milk jugs. And we would play basketball. She had two dogs that were blind, two French poodles. Oh, and she had a heart. So she would walk them across the street and then put them down. Oh, she's like collecting broken things. And as soon as we'd see her,

we'd let the ball go down the hill so we'd have to go down and get it so we could just look at Faye. Yeah. Did you ever get a sniff? Did you ever smell her? No, all of us would go fuck one of these days. We'd want to fuck Faye.

Faye was like the fucking prize in the neighborhood. She had two hot daughters. You know what I'm saying? Like when your mother is hotter than the daughters. Yeah, there's something in the water. I still see one of the daughters on Facebook. She's gorgeous. She's gorgeous.

So I'd start talking to Faye. You couldn't talk to Faye because the husband was always in the balcony in the daytime. Belk, didn't this fuck her work? Oh, no, he was retired. He was old. He was old.

He was covering the bills. Yeah. She was sucking his dick. You know, one of those type of relationships. Right. So we played basketball at night and we'd noticed that when she comes out at night, he was already sleeping at 10.

So I was like. Oh, she'd make a little night walk. Kitty cat go out in the alley while the line was asleep. No, she'd take the dogs out. She'd always take the dogs out of the pen. Yeah. So we'd be out there playing basketball and she'd come out with her flip flops

with a little tight Daisy Dukes. This is way before Daisy was even born. She already was wearing Daisy Dukes caught up to the cheeks. Yeah. Faye was just. Got a lip hanging out. Bad ass.

Just a labia waving at you. We would just be sitting there like in awe. Like she was like God who was just so funny. I'm like, I started talking to her and I was flirting with her. Faye, you look beautiful today. Thank you, sweetheart. How old were you?

14. Oh my God. The balls. And our husband would look at me dirty because he knew I was in love with Faye. And finally one night was with my buddies. We got down. We were drinking and shit.

We got some angel dust and crystal THC. Oh, fuck. And we listened to Led Zeppelin too. It was four of us and we each did. Me, come on, those. Michael Speciale, maybe Dominic Speciale. We all did a different instrument and we listened to Led Zeppelin too

from cover to cover. And then they were going to like a popular party and they're like, are you coming to the party? I'm like, I can't. I got homework and they're like homework. He's just an angel dust. I'm like, don't worry about it. I had plans.

I was gonna take Faye down. From behind the bush. From behind the bush. You're gonna get her bush from behind the bush. She looked right on Liberty Avenue. She was gonna cross the street, go across the street into the park. There's no lights in the park.

And I was just gonna run up on it, tackle it, give her the flowers. Oh, shit. And then tell how much I loved it and then hopefully we're gonna make out like in the movies. It's gonna be like John Travolta, Olivia Newton, John and Grease, right? I really.

It could have worked out. I really believe this. This is why I do not like the whole thing of you coming back at me with something I did when I was 20. Yeah, no, it doesn't hold up. It's in a different era. Did you read the Ray Don Chong thing? No.

When you read the Ray Don Chong thing, if anybody gets a chance, do me a favor and read this. I'm trying to get her publicist to send the flowers and a gift certificate and a letter of thank you to Ray Don Chong. For being an honest woman. Ray Don Chong, look up Ray Don Chong. About Weinstein?

No, about fucking Mick Jagger. Whoa. That when she was 15, she fucked Mick Jagger. And it was not a me too moment. Whoa. We knew exactly what we were getting ourselves into. So she goes, it's not that I'm trying to attack Mick Jagger, nothing like that.

She goes, that's why. There's a spectrum to the situation. That's why Mick put her in the video in 1984. The one song he did from the solo album or the movie. They did a movie together or something like that. But she fucking came out the other day and said, listen, a podcast. On the Hollywood Reporter podcast,

she came out and fucking said, here's the deal. That woman? Ray Don Chong was hot. When she, that woman right there. So she said she knew what she was doing. Oh yeah. Why did this article come out? Did somebody accuse him?

She did a fucking interview. No, no, this is what a woman is about. I fucking read this thing. Okay. Ray Don Chong, Rolling Stone front man 19, when she was 15 and he was 33, a mission came to interview, accidentally blurted that she had sex with rock when she was 15.

Chong later clarified the interview, making sure the relationship was consensual and that Jagger did not know her age at the time. He never asked me how old I was. I never told him. It never came up. I remember thinking he was cute. He tuzzled my hair and I thought,

man, he's fucking beautiful. He did nothing wrong. He didn't make me do anything I didn't want to do. Chong noted, fully aware that her revelation may cause controversy. It was the seventies. It was a different era. I wasn't the victim.

I don't want to get into trouble about this. It wasn't traumatizing. I knew what I was doing. I wasn't an innocent school girl and I always acted a lot older than I was. I was growing up at 15, describing herself as a low-leader. Chong recalled the sexual trials

of the positive experience. He had great lips. According to Chong, the two other relationships on two different occasions, first after she attended a Rolling Stones recording session and later after watching Fleetwood Mac with fucking Jagger. It did not traumatize me. It wasn't a me too moment.

It was something that empowered me. Chong explained that I knew the power to pick and choose whatever I wanted and I had every experience mixed with part of that. This, I fucking almost fell off. Look, I want to cry because finally a woman says, this is what went down.

I thought about Sin, how he got tortured a couple of weeks ago as a rocker, a guy that came on the podcast that was referred to me and people were mad that I put him on the podcast. I did not know about the allegations of having sex with a 15-year-old or a 16-year-old or whatever.

I don't, you know. But I do know one thing, that one night I was watching Fucko on Letterman. Like when I read the sentence of the- Which, who's the Fucko? He'll, Paris Hilton was on Letterman one night. When she was getting in trouble and shit. What's she getting in trouble for?

Years ago. Okay. 15 years ago, she was always in the news for something. Right. She was a party girl. And- Flash and a cooch or something. David Letterman asked her.

He goes, I remember this. When did this start with you? And she goes, when I was 14. He goes, 14. She goes, yeah, my parents thought I was in bed. Might sneak out and go to fucking, you know.

Parties. She's socialite. Now, let me ask you a question, Jess, tell me the truth. I'll tell you the truth. I don't need to feel. I won't lie in the church. When you were 16,

if you snuck out of your house, was it to be with a 16 year old kid? Fuck no. Okay then. It never was. This is why when I- 16 year old kid's gonna find the clit. When I read all this shit, I was like, you know,

I know, I still remember years ago, in 93, my buddy gave me a job working a door. And it was well known that there was like these 20 girls that were like, you know, drinking age was 21. Yeah, they're all young, wanting to be older. They knew what they were doing. Right. Let them in.

You know, and this is, when I read that Ray Don Chon thing, I was so happy that finally a woman said, what are you fucking kidding me? It's not all me two moments. It was empowering. Yeah. That's a fucking weird thing for a woman to say,

but look what she said. She goes, I had control. I knew what I wanted. I knew what I didn't want. And reading that kind of made me happy. And I don't know how we got on that subject, but when you lose your mother and everything, you want to, you want to take a shit on the world.

Yeah, of course. So from 1980 to 1987, my life was to revenge. Right, were you filled with anger? If I saw a pigeon in the middle of the street, I was driving, I run the mother fucker over. So you, that's yes. Why would you do something like that? You're missing love.

I did things that, I never kicked that dog or an animal or something like that. Just a pigeon. What I did things that, yeah, a pigeon. Rats of the skies. That's what they call them. Sky rats in New York City. You just feel this thing,

Sky rats in New York City. You just feel this fucking hate for society. I wanted the world to feel what I felt. Of course. So I wouldn't try to go out of my way to make your world shitty. Yeah. What's your mom's name?

DeNora, but what I did was when I was in that waiting cell after I got sentenced for the kidnapping. The first time you were in? The only time I was in. When I got sentenced. That's why I'm in my peace with myself. Before you were talking about the cosmic revelation. The karma revelation.

I made peace with myself that night. That night about everything. I didn't go to jail for the kidnapping. I was involved with two pieces of shit. I'm friends with one of them today. Excuse me, I love them daily. We just spoke the other day. Didn't you come to a show like last year?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You reunited with them, yeah. But we were three pieces of shit. If this was any other city, it would have said, go fuck yourselves, all three of you losers. But Colorado felt they had a press charge. It's not on blame, I'm happy they did, I wouldn't be here today.

I'm not whining. But that was the, who would do something like that? Somebody who was angry, who didn't. And at that time, I had no reason to be angry. I had a piece of ass, I had a job, I had an apartment, I was living. It was the early years. Yeah, those formative years stick with you.

The anger I had was still like my, I was 26, 27. You know, I was pissed at kids that had parents that were taking, you know, that was the first weapon I would use, well, fuck you Lee. You got fucking parents. Yeah, you went through that loss. You know, so it was kind of, I learned how to reform, love with all that.

It wasn't that I was a bad person. Yeah, yeah, I don't wanna think that at all. I just wanted to fucking take a shit on the fucking world. And I think a lot of people can relate with that. A lot of people are looked at as bad people, but everyone has a source of their trauma. There's a certain, you know, group of people who don't, but there's some people who just missed love

and experienced loss like you did as a child without having that mother figure. Unless you really walked it, it's very hard to judge somebody by something they did. For me, it could be three years, it could be 20 years. I know the path the guy's walking on. I've seen people, I'm gonna tell you one name. I'm gonna tell you one name,

that when I met him, he was a fucking punk. And today, he's, sorry. And today, he's one of my best friends, but the respect I have from him as a man is unparalleled. I respect him more than 90% of the people out there. His name is Sam Tripoli. I love Sam. Okay, that's the guy right there.

He's a salad dude. I could tell you 20 things Sam did 20 years ago at that store that I wanted to choke him. That I wanted to choke him. He's another one who's been through some shit. He's been through some shit that nobody knows about, but at the same time, I will tell you that I've seen Sam grow up to become a fucking man, a superior comedian,

a loving friend. You know, like I'm tight with Sam. I call him once a week, I check in with him. You know, it's, it's, you see people and you forgive. All that shit goes away. It doesn't even matter. It doesn't matter. Like that shit didn't even matter to me.

I don't even give a fuck. Cause I've seen him gross instead. You're allowed to make a fucking mistake in my world. You know, this shit that comes out now all 12 years ago, he choked me at a party, but he stick his finger in your asshole. No, then go fuck yourself. You know what I'm saying?

If he stuck his finger in your pussy. Then we got something to talk about. Yeah. If he made you sniff his asshole, then we're talking. That's rude. That's fucking rude. At least you got a sense of humor. We could talk about this.

I don't judge anyone. I love hearing people's story and there, nothing shakes me off my axis. I've been humbled by life and I know people come from something. I'm intrigued by people's stories and, you know, the fact that you've come out on this other side and you honestly look, I don't know what you think, Lee, if you're still with us,

but I think I don't have, I haven't seen him look better. You can see them pictures. Yeah. That's a special from years ago and now. You should put one of them apnea machines on your asshole, see if it doubles down. No, this is, it's not, it's how I'm looking at things. It's how I'm reacting to things.

Yeah. You get older and you get smarter and a little wiser. You said something about pacing. And you start to pace yourself. You tried, I told, I pulled Crystal Leigh over last night and because Crystal Lee is two weeks from having a baby, you know, and uh, Really?

Yeah, I think, I think it's. Is that public news? I think. I think it's public news. I think it's public news. Congratulations. Thank you so much. Totally.

It's crazy how I explained to him that, yeah, I go, cause he was telling me about six months ago we had a conversation in the kitchen at the store. And he goes, I go, what the fuck have you been? You know, when he said, ah, the fucking road. You know, it's just, and he said a couple other things to me. And I go, I get it. You know, I've been there.

I get it. And then when I found out the news, I saw him about a week ago and I asked him when it was due and he told me on, it's due on my birthday, February 19th or the 28th or something. So. That's a expensive birthday present. So I.

That's the most expensive birthday present. No, my birthday. Okay, I thought it was on his. I was like, whoo. So I was, last night I pulled him aside and I go, you know, you're going to see when you have a child. Oh, I don't know what happened. I don't know if it was age, mercy, family,

how I looked at things. Combination. Like one thing, but I start to see where you look at your time being valuable. Oh, yes. I'm not. Good point. Talking to you from an egotistical point of view.

I'm just talking about what, what's most important to you being at the house with your daughter or flying to the soup boat, you fucking jerk off friends. Where's your energy being expelled? Where's your energy being expelled? Yep. And that's where I think. That's huge.

That's where I think I'm doing really well at that I like having a good time. I understand you're getting married in Syracuse, but I fly for a living bitch. Yeah. You know, I know you from LA. Get married at the VFW. Right.

I'm not getting on a goddamn flight. I'm not talking about the body, you know, compadre. Good luck. I'll send a package. You know, like you have to learn your limitations. Yes. Especially now. I have to go to New York next month and shoot a film,

you know. So I know I got to get plenty of reps and like my set on the, I'm doing two sets on the 20th. I know those are my last because I got to focus on this film until the 18th or whatever the fuck it is. You know, you just learn different things. I used to, there's no, listen, there's nothing better than being a comic

and going home at night and knowing, you have nowhere to go in the morning. Yeah. What the fuck is your problem? Yeah. Especially after you did the set. The fuck is your problem? The fuck is your problem?

It's 11 o'clock. I just popped 200 milligrams just to get started. Yeah. Just to ease into the night. Just to ease in. I'm just getting started. I'm popping another one in about an hour. I'm not seeing fucking the bed till 3, 334.

Yeah. I'll be talking to dead relatives at 4 a.m. But after I read that book, I realized. The sleep book? Yeah. I realized that as fucking corny as it sounds. It does sound corny, but it's so vital.

Like Joey, really, this is what you're telling me. Yes. You have to look at yourself and go, this is the time I'm going to bed every night. Yep. And consistency is key with sleep. 1230. Yep.

1230. Around there. For a while there, I would go home, unwind and watch Sons of Anarchy from 11 to 1145. And 1145, I would turn it off and go to bed. Yep. Now Sons of Anarchy and I, they fucked up my night. But what I was also doing at one.

I was going to watch The Outsider on HBO. I was also taping it and then starting to write at 10 and then writing until 12 and then watching Sons of Anarchy till one. Oh, that would make my mind too engaged. So I had to pick one or the other. So once I read that book, I picked the time, no more. There's only one night I have gratis

and that's Friday night on the road. That's my night. I think it's gonna have a good night. That's my night. Yeah, that's your shit. I don't have to get up on Saturday. Right. All I have to do is make breakfast at the hotel.

Yeah. Do you understand me? Yeah. So breakfast starts at six and it runs to 10. Which is, if you're lucky. I don't have to. These places shut it down at nine. Yeah, I don't have to leave.

Fuck. If I have to leave the hotel, it means I gotta take a shower and blah, blah, blah. Yeah, like not leaving. If I'm in the hotel, all I have to do is put some monkey, grease in my air, brush my teeth, take my blood pressure medication. Go downstairs.

Put out some sandals. I don't have to wash my pussy. I go downstairs. Go down with a dirty monkey. I go down with a dirty monkey. I roll a joint. I roll a joint. Yes, you do, because you're a fucking gentleman.

On Saturday morning, I already have a coffee in the room prepared. So when I get up, I hit it. I usually do that too. I set up my coffee. I put all my things out. I see who called. I check them with the wife and the kid.

The coffees made them so half retarded. Yeah. You're still a little box. You're still waking up. Right, you drink the coffee. Now you brush your teeth. You take your medication. You roll a joint.

I bring my jacket down. I bring my glasses down in case there's a newspaper. And I kill two birds with one stone. So I go down. You fucking eat your breakfast. You talk to the waitress. A little while. You talk about how good the potatoes are.

Yeah. And then you get up. You get another cup of coffee. Yes, you do. You go outside for a little stroll. A little sip. And you smoke that fucking monster of death. And then you go back into your room

and you throw on fucking narcos. Yeah, some bullshit on lifetime. From like 10 to 11, 11 o'clock in the morning, you look at the clock and you're like, fuck it, I ain't waking up till lunchtime. You take the little three hours, yes. That's vital. That's sweet.

Then you get up. You wash your pussy. And you take it. With oils. Fancy oils. No, it's a quick wash in the pussy. Is it just a river wash? No, it's a quick pussy wash.

Just a quick shower. Yeah. I don't shave on that one. No. I won't shave on that one. It's just to take a shower. This is a quick one. I got out of the house to go to that local restaurant.

Hell yeah. The one that you're like, oh, this is the one the lady told me about when I checked in. Cheeseburger or something. Yeah, they're known for like. Something that's known in the community. Yes. I don't want to go there.

No chains. Yeah, no chains. I do the same thing. No chains. I learned that from Chris Frangioli. You gotta find the good local spot. You gotta find the good local spot. You go to that local spot,

you're back in your room by three. The show don't start till seven. Good. You got two options. Option number one, which is a nap for an hour. And then you got option number two, which is go to the gym. Maybe do the elliptical for 20,

throw some weights around for 20. I do that. And then go back upstairs, roll another one. Oh, if you go to the gym, if you take option number two, you earned option number two. Yes, you did. Which is another joint to roll.

So after you work out, you drink the water, you go to the lobby, you get a little protein shake, and you go around the corner, you hit that fucking number. If you work out at three, and you get back by 10 to four, or 10. Right, get a nice hour.

Oh, you get an hour nap in. And then you feel like a new fucking person. Oh my God. You go to those shows like, who's ready? Oh my God. Then you wake up and you get another coffee. Yes. And now you're rocking.

Yeah. Oh yeah, now you're rocking. That's a key. If you're lucky, you bang one out. Yeah, a quick little jerk. You get a little dizzy and shit. A little jerky boy. A little day dizzy.

Oh yeah. How many shits are you taking during the day? Three coffees. Four. I take this shit when I come back from breakfast. Oh good. Because I always eat a cup of oatmeal when I'm on the road.

I'm the buffet. Yeah, you gotta get oatmeal to keep your heart healthy. So I get two eggs, sunny side up, one piece of wheat toast, two pieces of bacon, lightened the butter, and I hit a cup of oatmeal to push it all out. Put those two coffees. By the time I get upstairs, my asshole's ready to spit.

He's a fucking government witness. He ain't stopping. It's three lumps to come out. But it's really funny, because my asshole always holds back. Is it shy? Yes. You got a shy shithole.

It only releases the stuff that it needs to release. It holds onto the stinky stuff. Does it have like a reserved shit take? I don't know what it is. It's like you. So my asshole, so my asshole, I take a shit Friday, but it's a small one. Like a little deer pellet.

Like a little torpedo, like a little midget dick. Right. Little woodland creature shit. Sad ladies with a midget dick. And then as soon as I land at LAX. Your body knows it's safe. My body knows that we're on the way home. So now I grab an Uber and I give him a 20 right off the bat.

I don't even wait for that to come up. And I go get home because you're gonna start smelling some weird things. We're gonna hot box this fucking Prius. I'm using the 405. No, I don't take the Prius. I take a special. By the time I get the fucking Laurel Kang

and he's making the left, I could feel. Is your asshole like? Like that first brown cloud come out. Yeah, your turtle headed at that point. I say a word. He's in the front seat talking Arabic to one of his friends. I thought that was not how you roll down the window. At least you ever get those guys on the phone.

Yeah, they're calling back home. Yeah. So I just dropped a couple of parts. They don't know. Oh, they know it takes them back to the cave. So then they fucking they fucking I make him go. Oh, I make him go past Lee's house on Laurel Canyon. And I make him make a ride on Popeye's chicken there.

And by the time I hit Popeye's chicken, I could feel the tip of the shit. Yeah, turtle. Just hitting my asshole. Yep. We get out, he pops. I tell him, thank you. I pretty much open up the door,

roll my luggage to the living room, take my computer into the office. I go right to the back office. I got the bong ready. Like all I gotta do is fill it up. So I'll sit there. I'll open up my ass off, let the first grenade come out. Right, nice and easy.

That was like a 16 inch. Yep. It comes out smooth. The other one sideways. It's like the way Lee was born. Yeah. Sideways. It's a little crooked.

It's a little crooked. By that time, that gives me a little time to wipe my ass, fill up the bong, get the weed in the drawer. In the bathroom, you do a post shit bong rip? Listen to me. I open up the door. So nobody, because I have my own bathroom in the back of the house behind my back office.

And right there, I take those last two bong heads and that last one, when you cough, the piece of shit flies out of your ass. The one that was hidden. Like an illegal immigrant. You know what I'm saying? That motherfucker runs out. Like if you smuggle an immigrant on the train

and let them out in California and just open them and tell them, Corre, what's that Mexican run dog? It's like me familiar. You just start running. After that second bong, when I cough and that piece of shit just flies out and that water splashes, whew, I'm home.

And sometimes I look at it. Now you breathe. You're like, oh. If it's over 20, 26 inches, I send a picture to Tom Ziggura. Just out of respect. He saves, I give them seven in the morning sometimes. No.

From him or Tom Ziggura? Yeah, from him. You send him to Lee? Why do you wipe your ass in between? You got to keep it fresh. It's rude to your shit to make it come out like that. Now if your cheeks get back together by mistake, now you have shit crossing.

Yeah, you don't want anything in the way. It's like Palestine and Israel. You know what I'm saying? You don't want a religious genocide on your ass. A religious genocide on your ass. No. How the fuck did we get to this subject? What's wrong with us?

Why can't we be normal people? We were talking about your mother passing. Who gives a fuck? That was 40 years ago, that bitch is fucking dead and buried. We were talking about overcoming adversity. The ants even ate the fucking dress by now. We were talking about learning how to be on the road and being healthy.

What's that? We were talking about being on the road and being healthy, yeah. Where are you this weekend? The Laugh Boston, February 6th through the 8th or 9th, and then I'm at Asheville, North Carolina at the Funcatorium for Valentine's Day. Really?

Yeah. Just one night? One night, two shows. Yeah, we're doing a special event for all you lovers out there. You got a Valentine this year? I do. How long have you been with this guy?

A few years. Three years? Yeah. He was long distance for a while. Long distance for over two years. Jesus. That's a good way to do it though. You get to sort of just pace it.

Yeah, yeah, it was good for you. Take your time. I mean, you don't get fingered as often as you want to, but at least you look forward to it. It's nice to have something look forward to and to miss. Now you're living together? Kind of. We're still taking our time.

Good for you. Yeah, we're just taking our time, you know? Why rush into it? Let's enjoy each other. I don't want to hate each other right away. I don't want us to be annoyed by each other too soon. So I'm like, I'm a lot. Why don't we just take this innervally?

You're busy? Yes, yeah. I'm on the road every weekend in February. Really? Yeah, but that's good though. I mean, I'm kind of complaining, but not, you know, you know how it is. You got the podcast.

Yeah, sharp tongue podcast. You still got great videos on fucking Twitter. You make me laugh. You say retweet your shit. I know, I appreciate it. It's funny, it's funny. I appreciate it. I love the sex stuff, because you would always show your foot.

Yeah, oh yeah. And your feet are always very beautiful. I have nice feet. They're all cut up right now, but they're nice. You always take care of your toes. And my butt, I always take care of my toes, and I always post pictures of my ass. But it's a thirst trap.

You miss them. I don't want to see your ass. But it's not my butthole, it's just my butt cheeks. It's ass for holes. It's one where you're dancing in the shower with a dog mask on. Yeah, I put the masks on. That was funny.

And it's a thirst trap. I put information about Alzheimer's underneath it and it's a hashtag, ass for alts. So you can just click on it and then you can see all those posts and then find information in places to follow to get some help. You're a good lady.

Thank you. I'm happy to have the time to come up and see Uncle Joe. Anytime. It was great seeing you at the store. Yeah. I posted the picture up. People kept asking who's that hot blonde in the corner. Tucked in the corner.

I was talking to the weed dude. I was talking to my guys, you know, getting the stash. That night I came home, my head almost exploded. It really did. Like last night was a fucking, I did good in the main room but I ate a bag of Dix in the original. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

You're like one of a handful of comics who are honest about their sets. Why not? That people were there. They judged it. They saw it, you know? Yeah. So.

It's just a nice quality. Last night I came home feeling okay. Last Tuesday I came home feeling like I just left studio 54. Yeah. I had a box of edibles. Oh. You know, I was fucking stoned. Yeah.

I had to eat like 15 wings. Listen, when you eat a commie store wing, you know you're hungry. Oh yeah, you are. So skinny. But they got the best steak fries in the fucking world. I've never really eaten there. Last night they were making Dungeonous Crab.

What the fuck? Pookie. Ooh. Was making Dungeonous Crab. People were eating Dungeonous Crab. The staff was. At the comedy store? Yeah, they made Crab.

Fancy shit. But every night I steal three of those steak fries. I'm gonna bump up my rate. They're eating Crab. I go home and I gotta fucking put it on my Weight Watch and think three fucking frozen steak. Yeah, you gotta make sure your teeth keep tabs. Last Tuesday I got so high at that storm tunnel.

I was standing right next to you. Oh, were we eating the wings? Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I couldn't stop. We were talking. I kept eating the fucking wings. Like this is my last wing.

I'm gonna make 20 fucking wings. I went home. I put 20 wings in the hot fucking and the Weight Watch is that I almost blew it up. I'm like, I'm done for the fucking week. I love that you actually tacked in the wing. You have to. I couldn't even go for fucking pizza, Joe's pizza.

I couldn't do my traditional. Last night I had the points left. But I didn't go to Joe's pizza because my wife made meatloaf and it was fucking delicious. So I rather save the eight points for the meatloaf. Yeah, you gotta pick and choose where you put in those points.

And I went home and I had the meatloaf and it was a lot better for me. How many points is 20 wings? That's gotta be a lot of points. It was a lot of points. But they weren't. The thing that saved you weren't, they weren't the ones in Frank's butter.

Right. That's what saved me. Right. They were the ones in Frank's spaghetti. That's the fucking app. You gotta add the calories. Yeah, the app just goes black. The app shuts down.

The app just shuts down for a week and says get your life together. 20 fucking wings, you fat fuck. I can't imagine a hot wing dump. No, but it's two points. It's five points for two table tubes. Table tubes. Two tablespoons of blue cheese dressing.

Holy fuck. It's five points. I love blue cheese. That's why I gotta get blue cheese dressing. I make a salad and just use two tablespoons. But I mix that motherfucker. Yeah. A little bit of a lot of pepper

and make it stick on there. Try and make it spread out a little bit. Get some legs on it. Yeah. Yeah, and the chunks. Stretch it out. The chunks. The chunks, man.

So much flavor. You gotta swoosh them out. I like when you add extra chunks. Yeah. It sticks to the blue cheese. Fuck. Wings. I love wings.

I love wings. They're so good. It's just they're fucking deadly. They are so deadly. It's a junk food. It's a pure junk food. If we had time, I'd go over right now and get wings with Lee over there.

They got a picture of Lee over there. Lee was the one he ate here in a month or two months. What did you, how many wings did you eat, Lee? No, I eat a lot, but no, he's talking about big wings. Big wings. They have small wings, I don't like that. But I can eat a lot of wings.

I love buffalo wings. That's, there's a lot of emotion with me with food. I love football. Like when I first moved to LA, every Sunday I'd do pizza and wings. I just sit there. But Tom, where you get the pizza? Yeah, where you get,

I feel like it's hard to find good pizza this time. No, no, no. Dominoes, Lee. The wings, the wings of Dominoes suck. The wings of Dominoes are tiny. There's some local places that are okay here, but none of them are great. Dominoes?

Not for wings. That's not pizza. He ate it though. I've eaten Dom, you've eaten Dominoes too. No, no. I take that back. There's been a bunch of nights on the road where I'm like, let me get some Dominoes.

Yeah, there's only 99,000 around the country. One out of the last fucking 20 years, I told Lee this story. I went back to a hotel and one night I could not take it. Like Law and Order was coming on. Narcos, I had a bunch of shit. I'm down to a protein bar. I go to the stairs and they get like fucking.

The Stofors meals. Yeah, I'm not eating that shit. The bullshit that they have in their marketplace. They go, do you have any pizza? They go, whatever, one of the chains. Dominoes. There's little Caesars. No, it's Domino.

Yeah. When you get thin, crispy. They're like, you gotta go on the computer. I ain't got time for the computer. I'll give you an extra 20. Get it in here in fucking 15 minutes. Yeah. 15 minutes later, hey, don't, don't, don't,

kid knocks on my door. Two gallons of soda. I didn't ask for two gallons. It was part of the deal. I said, just bring me whatever you got. He brought me the pizza. I've been into it. This is the worst thing I've ever eaten.

I ate two slices because there weren't even slices. It was cut into squares. Yeah. Boy, you got thin crust. So I ate like four slices. Dog, you know, I went and I walked all the way in the hallway and I stuffed it into the garbage. It's so bad.

I swear to my daughters, two hours later, I was in that hallway and that garbage taking the pizza out of the fucking garbage. That's how much of a disgusting motherfucker I am. And we'll leave you with that, you filthy animals. Don't forget, Valentine's weekend. I'm over at the Tempe Improv Thursday, the 13th, Friday and Saturday.

The party starts Thursday night. We got, we got fucking everything. Stars, they're making a comeback. John Lennon's going to be there. Beatles are going to be there. Bruce, for everybody, Thursday night, Thursday, eight o'clock fucking Tempe Improv. Then the 28th of February, I'm at Treasure Island

in Viva Las Vegas. You are going to be in Boston this weekend. This weekend, Laugh Boston. Laugh Boston this weekend, Asheville, North Carolina, the Functorium and then Dr. Grins the last weekend of February. Good for you. That's a good fucking club.

It is fun. It is a lot of fun. That's a good fucking club. It is a good club. I like Michigan. Yeah, Michigan's a good, they're good people. Hardworking people and they love comedy. Listen, I've gone from Eshbameen

all the way to fucking Mishawaka. Eshbameen. What'd you call me? Eshbameen is all the way up on top. It's where penguins go to migrate and Mishawaka is a neighborhood where Notre Dame is. It's Southern India and Northern Indiana. I guess Southern Michigan.

I developed in Michigan. They're good people. Great comedy audiences. Great comedy audiences. Yep, they really are. Dr. Grins, I remember when there was two Dr. Grins. Really? There was two clubs in Grand Rapids.

The Yoda brothers had two clubs in Grand Rapids. They had Dr. Grins and they had another one, but fuck it. That was a long time ago, you know what I'm saying? Fuck it. I want to tell you guys a little story about something real quick before you go fucking anywhere. All right, there was this guy, cafe al-Turist, CEO, Dylan Moskowitz.

He experienced how challenging hiring could be. And after successfully searching for director of coffee for his organic coffee company, but then something happened. He switched to Zip Recruiter and he saw an immediate difference. And you could too, by signing up for free at ZipRecruiter.com.

Listen, the church is brought to you by Zip Recruiter. I love these guys. Why? Because hiring is challenging. But there's one place you could go where hiring is simple, fast and smart. And that's Zip Recruiter. Plain and that's it.

They don't depend on candidates finding you. It finds them for you. And it's, what are you bothering me for? And it's technology. Identifies people with the right experience and invites them to apply to your job. That's the difference. So you get qualified candidates faster.

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You don't have time to play games. With Zip Recruiter, Zip, Zip, Zip, you're done. With results like that, it's no wonder four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. Joey, what are you talking about within the first day? Joey, but within the first day. That's what you need.

That's time and money. That's what Uncle Joey's saving you today. So do me a favor. Go to ZipRecruiter.com slash church. Grab a pen. ZipRecruiter.com slash church. That's ZipRecruiter.com slash church. ZipRecruiter is the smartest way to hire.

I also want to talk to you about on it, my favorite. Why? Because listen, they got a product that if you don't like they'll give you your money back and you don't have to fucking send them the product. When somebody had, when was the last time you bought weed? It wasn't good. They gave you the money back and you had to keep the weed.

That don't happen. That's how much Ida believes in Alpha Brain. Alpha Brain works. It's keeping me together. It makes me forget what I had for lunch, but I remember other things. Like what Mindy Heads pussy looked like in 1984. I don't fucking know what yet.

That was her name, Mindy Heads. She gave good head. They call it the Mindy Head. What do I know what happened to her pussy looked like? I looked for her on Facebook, but I couldn't find her on the head. So I moved on with my life. Anyway, do me a favor.

Go to honor.com right now. Take a look at what they got from the CMT, coconut, coffee cream to the jerky, to the organic mint chocolate protein bars, shroom tech, shroom tech sport. Now, because of the Chinese people, shroom tech immune, I can't even go for fucking spare rib now. I see a fucking kung fu movie.

I got to take through fucking shroom tech immune. Ain't that a bitch? Shroom, I got nothing against Chinese people. You know I love you, mother fuckers. Oh my god. Ta, ta, ta, ta, ta ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, la, ta, ta, ta, la, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, ta, na. Ni.

That's year of the dragon, 1985. Anyway, go to honor.com right now. press in church boom and get 10% off your first order delivered right the house. It's that plan and that simple. I want to thank my girl, Jezen May Palusa, one of my favorites. Thank you. You're getting pretty every time I see you. Most importantly, I want to thank you savages for supporting us and for listening to the church. Don't forget you bad mother fuckers. I know my man Pat Shea will be there Thursday night at the Tempe

Improv. My girl from fucking my little Indian girlfriend is coming up. I forget what her name is. Peg is a fucking badass bitch. She's coming up. So the party's gonna be at the Tempe Improv one show Thursday to Friday to Saturday, then Treasure Island on the 28th. I think it's a 28. Just go to Treasure Island coming for the weekend. What's gonna cause you to go to Vegas? Bring your girlfriend. Let's have a good time. Why fuck around? I want to thank my girl again. I want to thank the Christ killer who's doing phenomenal lately. He's looking north tip top. Magoo. Look at him. He was so

happy. And I want to thank you guys for being savages. I love you motherfuckers. Have a great week and I'll see you guys Monday morning. Ready to rock the rest of you motherfuckers. I'll see you in Tempe next week. Thank you for listening. Have a great, great week. God bless you guys.