#760 - Gabriel Iglesias
00:00Oh shitGreetings from podcastville. It's Wednesday the 12th ofMotherfucking February uncle Joey here the church is brought to you by but your boxLet me tell you something. What's the best night of the week?Steak night. That's what night it is. I got a box. I got two boxes from butcher box. OkaysalmonThe beef my wife made a beef stroganoff that'll make you fucking little asshole fucking jump up and downThat's how good it was with butcher box. You get the best quality steaks delivered right to your door
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01:24The free wings for the life of your subscriptionThat's three pounds of wings in every box foreverPlus you get 20 bucks off your first box and free shipping in the lower 48Just go to butcher box comm slash church CH or CH or use promo code church at checkoutThat's butcher box. Listen, you will not be sorry the meat was fucking superb suePerb I was blown the fuck away but your box comm slash churchUse promo code church and checkout but your box the way meat should be the podcast is also brought to you byCBD lion calm listen to me stop going to the gates the gas station
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02:51ILike everything that they have you understand me go to CBD lion calm right now andPress in church and get 20% off your orderDelivered right to your houseThe church wants to welcome Gabriel places. What's happening Gabriel? What's up? Bye? Bye? Thank you for the tacos. Thank you for comingI had to clear my throat and it's a lot of cheese and goodness in that taco. No, that was like six pointsSix-way watch your pointsSo you were talking in the car on the way up here
03:24That I was telling you I was just starting to tell you that one night I go on TwitterAnd I'm mining my own business and I see that fluffy the nicest guy in the world puts upHi guys got the weekend offYou know gonna chill with my dogI just went to Chick-fil-A to stock up for Sunday or something and I and I looked at that tweet MichaelCuz somebody had come up to me like a week earlier and sick as they said to meYou know Burbank has a new Chick-fil-A and in the same sentence they go, but it's not cool to eat thereReally, and I was like I didn't know wasn't cool. Yeah, I did not I did not know okay
04:05But I heard it wasn't him to eat there like hipsters don't eat there a couple white people boycotted itBut there's lines out though out though doesn't matter. That's why people that's why they do thatOkay, when you boycott something you're just giving it more fucking business. Okay, remember when they boy you're too young when they boycott a diceNo, he went from he went from Madison Square Garden to a reading you bet you banned him from MTV and exactlyHe's selling out and so not everything so it's a weird psychology to itYou know when the guy from the Celtics snorted the coke and he diedThe next day everybody had cocaine that kill Lenny bias everybody wanted the cocaine that kill Lenny biasThey just killed the motherfucker
04:45But you are the nicest sweetest guy in the worldG-rated comedy you do like a fucking 5 at 30 in the afternoon forGrandmothersInnocent to eat in the world and I included a photo of my dogI basically said I was gonna go get my I was gonna go get my little nuggets some nuggetsAnd yes, I without knowing I had posted a you know at Chick-fil-ABecause here's my thing is anytime I'm eating somewhere. I'm doing something. It's organic. I love to toPut the the the handle so in case the company does see if they know that I'm a legit
05:20Fan of their product or whatever it is and I'm not asking for anything but hey should they send some free gift cardsI'm not gonna say no to itI you know I've gotten some amazing sponsorship by just beingYou know real with something if I'm a fan of something I let people knowAnd so yeah, I posted a picture of my little chihuahua and I'm gonna get the little nuggets some nuggets from Chick-fil-AAnd next thing you know, I even saw motherfucker that said I'm not following you no moreOh my god, you see these awayReally? Oh my god, and and and also sir. I had no I why would I intentionally try to
05:54Destroy myself by putting something up. I I did not know I honestly I tell people I'm more hungry than wokeOkay, I am more hungry than woke. I'm sorry. I'm not as hip to everything and I did not knowI know now you got static for about three days. Yeah, it was bad. It was badI'm like, oh my god. I wrote a tweet about sucking the ink kind of miss Obama's pussyAnd nobody said nothing like people just froze. I was waiting for Twitter just to shut me downAnd nobody said nothing, you know like and it's just so weird what you could sayand what you can't say anymore and soI just I couldn't I could not believe it messed me up so bad because I'm thinking to myself really is
06:40Is it that bad?Is it bad?You know and I watch someone like like chappelle who I think is a comedy geniusAnd then he'll go up there and some of the things he talks about are very controversial and clearly rub people the wrong wayBut yet still selling outHe just want to grab me before that he won some other peabody. I forget what award. YesSo really he can get away with you know pushing the envelope to the next levelBut I put an innocent tweet where I'm he's a fat dude talking about chicken nuggets
07:10I think you know where my mind was atAnd and I I got so much for you that what was the word? Oh, I was getting people saying yeah, we're gonna boycott your showpeople sayingHow could you we thought more of you than this now?Do you know the reason behind all I know now what is what did you know that uh, I guesschick filet wasPaying they were they were donating money to organizations that were against you know gay the gay communityIt was you know that they were uh
07:39supportingWow, what is it to try to keep them try to straighten up the way that they thinkYou know supposedly I don't know they were they were donating money to something that was against the gay communityI don't want to claim to know that I know exactly why but I know it wasn't good. I know it wasn't goodBut do you think that that it's on social media because I think like social media they just they're not really angryBut they're just there and they because when chappelle does it on stageThey have to like actually get onto twitterBut if they're already on twitter do they think it's just fake anger they're not really mad at you
08:13Like if they saw you at chick filet, they'd probably be happy to see youI you know what I've never been at a chick filet and had somebody be upset with meIf anything they'd offered to buy my my meal, which I think is coolumIt's it's one of those things where I did not know and like I saidI wasn't trying to stir anything upBut I think a lot of times sometimes you know people want attention and I think going after someone is probably the easiest wayI went to my wife
08:40My wife is white. So I said to let me answer a questionWhat's the deal with chick filet and she knows everythingYou know what I'm saying like my wife knows everything whiteAnd she's like well number oneYou knowTheir insurance doesn't cover women abortionsAnd the number two they don't like gay peopleSo I wrote a whole bit about it, but the funny thing about the oh my god
09:05Oh, I was gonna tell you something I forgot. See that's why you don't smoke pot of these tacos before my testI thoughtI walk in I'm like, what's so tall of food and I never say thatYou knowThis is nice to have you here. It's good to see youI feel like I haven't seen my brother from cuba and you came back after three yearsI almost didn't survive our last uh our last podcast. What happened you left? I heard you guys went like turkeyWhat do you mean? What first of all you you introduced me to this cookie
09:40I think you were you were you were sponsored or you were doing something with this company at the timeSome chiba chua. I think was it chiba chua. And then there was some cookie and you're like Gabriel. Look at this is cookieRight. It's delicious. You should try some and I took the cookie and you know, you knowI don't just pinchThe cookie and eat a piece of the cookie if you had me a cookie the whole cookie is going downAnd I guess for whatever reason it had a certain level of whatever in itI ate the whole cookie, right? I was fine when I left and when I got on the fiveman
10:11I've never been more grateful for trafficIn my life because I I drove about eight miles an hour of the whole way homeIt hit me on the five. I thought you guys stopped and got something to eat man. No, noNo, that cookie that cookieOhThat's like, you know, Joe Joe these podcast I ain't eating no more cookiesNo, no, and I got people to drive nowAnd that's why I said I said I know more cookies because I know you were scared for a long time
10:40I was so scared. I was like, I'm not gonna go over there to get torturedI'm not gonna go over that. I don't blame you man that cookie though. WowSounds like the so kind cookies we were eating to that frosting on top of it. I don't rememberI just remember I ate a whole cookieBecause because you guys were looking at me like that look when likeLike he wasn't supposed to eat the whole cookieBecause you like you knew what the future held for meRemember we did something and I ate the
11:11We did ChicagoAnd we flew backAnd I took my shirt offOn the flightIs it wrong that I remember you taking off your shirt a few times?Yeah, this was this was likeThis wasYou were sweating. You were sweating up a storm. Yes. Yes. We were on a southwest flight
11:32Yes, and we were sitting opposite each other. Yeah, and I'm like wow between two old white womenThat was like 65 you were sweating up a storm. I had to be 380And I was I what happened was it was those gummy bear. It was thoseUh, the the tongue thingsOh, like the like the listerine ones the listerine onesBut nobody knows that in those days knew the dosage of themThere was no dosage. You just showed them black market. They could dip them in gasoline and then what happened wasWhen you put them in your wallet, they got stuck together. You didn't really know how many you were eating
12:09So we we did kj riddlesme you martinUhYou know who was ever booking the fucking festival of deathwith rickIt had to be like seven of usriddlesYes, yes. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yes across the street from stake and shake and white castle
12:32Wait, we had like it's just a fast all the best choices that too all the best choicesIt was staking shake next doorWhite castle across the street and the hotel had like a direct line. There was an old hindu who had porn onThink i'm fucking kidding you when you went to check in there was like some chick getting fucked against the wallAnd then you had a you went to the whole tower room and they would fuck with youIf you wanted porn, it was like I like it's been four bucksBut if not it was like porn slanted so you can still hear the chick come onThat's like like all spice right so what you do is you have like moving a little bit
13:10You gotta put the TV on its sideSo on the way back from kj riddlesWe all took the early flightAnd I go, look, what do I got here?Some breath and I put them on them, but those days in the middleWe sat opposite each other. Yeah a southwest airlines had those uh,They're a little lounge seats where they'd have the seats that face one another in the front and in the backThey'd have those two those two sections
13:37So we took it overAnd all of a sudden I started sweating profusiouslyThe plane started bouncing at some shitHe was he was it was scary. They brought him some towels. How how early into the flight do you take your shirt off?About an hour and a halfAnd there were two women who were sitting next to meAnd I still remember the look on their face. He's tortured these women never fuck doggies stopThese two women have never fucked doggies stop
14:09Like if they were with three guys total between the two of them, you could tell that one was reading a bibleLike they never did it doggie style. She never sniffed his nutsackThey just did it through a sheet with a holeAnd I sat in the middle and took my shirt off. I'll never forget at one timeJust like drying off with a towelLike this was the beginning of edibles. I'm drying off with a towel and I could feelThe moisture on my nippleI'll fuck it. He was shiny
14:43He was shiny and you weren't and you don't really drink or do that much camber. So you were completely sober. You gotta figure at that timeNo, I wasn't there was nothing. I didn't start drinking until like I was what 24 25WowSo what is it like being on the road with someone like that? Well at the time, I you know, I didn't know what he was goingI had no ideaYou know, he sweats, you know, I'm a big guy. I sweat. I'm just likeHe's just been doing it longer and this isYou know, maybe his air vent doesn't work. I don't know. I mean, we were up. Well, I know I don't for a fact
15:13I was upLike I remember getting to the airport that day and like and at the time I must have been aboutThe ears were my ears were still ringing from the cocaineWow, like my ears were still ringing. I'm like, manAnd I was trying to keep it together in front of you guysLike if anybody else would have looked at me that didn't know me they would have gone out. He's just tiredBut my balls were on fire. I knew that people knew I was I was on the tail end of the juiceYeah, if it's not if it would have happened today, they'd be like, no, that's corona virus
15:45Yeah, they would have been like with some going on here. I was I was fucked upSo at the airport to bounce things off. I found theseAnd I ate them and I got fucked up on the planeBetween the x's, you know, I found shirts of mine from my cocaine daysWhen I moved fromHollywood to the valleyI found a bunch of long sleeve white shirtsBecause I was so big I had to wear long sleeve
16:12Long like so I would get like a three xl t t extra longI would only buy clothes in texas because in l.a. They don't have clothes with fat peopleYou gotta go all the way up to thonga canyon and one of our chances are going to thonga, you know what I'm saying?Or the fat man's store on wilshire where they charge you 84 dollars for a handkerchiefAnd you know that that was during the time when uh, I want to say you you were trying to put me in touch with thatBig daddy company because you were getting all your clothes for free from big ralfi. YeahRalfi was a big daddy run big daddy runYou know and I was I was on a big cocaine run
16:49So big daddy big daddy wasn't I just stopped buying clothesI just stopped wearing clay gave you were always wearing jumpsuits always you always had those big they look so coolBecause in those days it was so soprano. I went to so many mafia auditionsFor commercials and videos and promosThat all I wore was sweatsuitsI had a black suit that I boughtThat josh wolf bought me. Oh, wow three suits for 200 dollars with two pair of shoesRight on hollywood boulevard. They're still there up the block from joe's hollywood suit outlet
17:25You get three suits three shirtsthree tiesbelts belts socksAnd a pair of shoes for two hundred and ninety nine dollarsJust make sure nobody lights a matchBecause your suit will go up in flames like a fuckingChina been with the carnivorous virusYou never went in there
17:52Going there is a cool. That's the video you should make going into hollywood suit suit outlet right dollywood suit outlet. Just go goGo to the hollywood suit outlet. I got two hundred and ninety nine dollars. What can you do for me?I got two hundred and nineOkayOhSo did you ever figure out the uhThe amount that you were supposed to actually eatA what of those listerine things like one little one? I think I ain't like there was three in there clearly
18:25There was three or four in that dog one timeTelling you that was me on that five freeway coming back. I justScribbin the steeringThis had to be aboutseven years agoMainly had just started doing the podcastAnd I had one of the last weeks at the miami coconut grove in brahIt was one of the last weeks
18:49And I don't know what the fuck I had a delta flightTerminal six with the tropical birds and shit on the wallWhen you go into miami or south america, it's the most racist fucking terminal in laxYou go in there youLike like a little like a little cuba. Yeah, you're getting red. No, it's not even cubaThey treat you like you're a fuckingWhat's those people that that sell the guns the sandanistas?They treat you like you're a sandanista in there the fucking it's horrible
19:19Like you walk through the white part of the fucking delta thingBut then they have the south american wing and all sudden the walls turn yellowAnd they got like palm trees and the fucking and you're like this is racist as fuckDo they have everybody talking spanish and they got salsa music playing?These are people that had it to a savador nicaraguaAll those third world nations and shit like that. So miami's in that terminalSo I flew out of that terminal on a red eyeAnd I had a I upgraded the first class i'm delt that they upgraded me to one
19:55On the insideSo I was in row one on the inside window in the window and I start bopping fucking edibles beforeIn the car right down there. I start popping edibles likeI get on the flight and it's the nicest gay guy in the worldThat's next to me. He's like, oh my god, you're going to miami. It's gonna be so much funAnd i'm like, I know blah blah blah. He passes outall of a suddenI had uh
20:23certscinnamon certsYou're not supposed to eat the whole rowOf cinnamon I ate the whole thing like I just started eating them and the cinnamon triggered the thcAnd I had jeans on and I just started sweatingI started sweating to the point that I took off my shirtAnd he the little gay guy thank god he had little leopard things on his eyeballsAnd i'm sweating up a storm gate and I got the blanket around my fat stomach
20:53Like i'm no shirt onAnd all the all the whole cabin's sleepingBut there was like one little light that shinedRight on like my fucking center of my chestAnd every time the students would walk by she'd look at me. She wouldn't look. I'm sorry. I'm lying to youShe wouldn't even look at me guysShe just hand meThought I was sweating so much when I got my luggage
21:20I went to pull up my pants and the rim around my jeansWould drench with sweatThat's how much I sweat on that fucking fly from t.h.cI've been I can't imagine taking like as a big guy like that's the last thing I want to do is take my shirt off in publicOh, yeah, I can't imagine beingYou have to be to take the shirt off you have to be tentaculars and well, okayNo, no drunk versus high. It's totally different. You know no matter how high I was y'all wasn't getting nakedNo matter what but drunk that's different. I got I got so drunk in Puerto Rico. I wound up on a mechanical bull
21:55You can find that photo online by the wayI let people knowI was like 19 medias medias the the Puerto Rican beerGood timesWhat else is going on in your world? Well, uh, let's seeWe just finished wrapping the show we finished wrapping the show last season season twoThank you. You're happy doing it. You know what? Let me tell you something the peopleThe people is what i'm gonna miss. Uh, i'm not gonna miss the hours
22:24I'm not gonna miss the three hours a day in traffic. I'm not gonna miss the you knowA little bit of sleep that I was gettingIt's it's a lot of work a lot of work doing that show a tv showTV show is a lot of workIt takes up all your time and energy andI love the finished product and like I said, I love the people if the people were were horribleIt had been a different thing. I'd have been like i'm out. You got a nice little cast everyone. You know that cuban kidI grew up with him
22:50with uhOscar Nunez. Yeah, yeah, do you ever say that to you? No, we were talking about you the other nightNow, I guess the same school or something. He's he's from a town called union city. You see the irish manYeah, but tony pro is from but tony pro's office is what he's from union cityI hung with his brotherI was you know the older kids in the neighborhood who you idolizeI idolize his brother his brother's name was nunsioAnd up the corner from my mother's body was a hot dog stand
23:23The best saber hot dogs just right out of new york city been in new jerseyAnd I would go up there every day and get two or three of them and nunsio would take numbersAnd hang out with the guy all daySo why you got a hot dog nunsio?Give me 204 or 206 whatever. Yeah, it was either nunsio or the guy was doing book thereBut I knew nunsio but me and him were kids togetherSo he went to like emison high school and I went to north bergham, which is to complete the diff districtsBut since I was cuban my mother had a bar in that neighborhood
23:57So I knew all those kids. So that's how long we go back. Wow. And then I bumped into himIn an audition in 98Didn't know him we were up in telamundo in glendaleAnd we were reading for some cuban showAnd that's when we started talkingI met him in 98 on the flyAnd he goes, maybe you know my older brother nunsio. I thought jesus fucking christ. Wow. Yeah, it's no nunsioAnd that job I got hired
24:30They paid me a thousand bucks to shoot three daysThey hired me and my call time was at eightI went to lunch at 12 and at 12 30 they called me and they fired meThey justI killed it in the audition, but I really wasn't what they were looking forAnd when as soon as I spoke spanish the cubans fucking freakedThey got scared of me because they were like from the nice part of cubaI speak that gags to spanish
25:00And they speak that spain spanish. They was really so intimidatedBut one of those guys ended up being on george lopez's first abc show. He was the sidekickandYears later, I was living here. I moved hereAnd I would walk my wife to work and then I would walk around north hutch hollywood parkAnd one day I saw him and I walked past himAnd he goes, hey, heyExcuse me. Do you remember me?
25:31And I made believe like I did I go no, I don't I know you're on george lopezAnd he goes, yeah, but before do you remember me?And I go no and he goes I was on that showThat time with talamundo. He told me the name of the showHe goes and I just want to tell you like a manThat it was not me who got you firedYou scared like four or five of the cuban peopleBecause he's mexican. He's really mexican
25:58oscarsNo, this oh that uh, yeah, yeah, yeahTalamundo kid that he ended up on george's first showNot this other little mexican guy. He ended up he was like a father or an uncleOr something like that. He was a regular on the showI saw him in north hollywood park and he came up to me man. That was 15th. I forgot all about itI wasn't even scared that they fired me because it paid for my afterAfter was 800 that
26:25So you had to pay sag right 50 and after was 800So whatever it was a week later. I got an aftercard in the mailSo it didn't really matter. I broke him. I got taken care of. YeahWowI didn't yeah when I remember when you were shooting the abc showAnd you called me and there was a role there was a role that youWas thinking but and I kept saying I don't want to go inBecause when I read it I read it black
26:55This was a role for a black guy and I know that that was the beginning of diversity for televisionAnd I know that the pilot didn't work out of abcAnd I go if I know anything about gabriel, he's fucking jumping up and downbecauseIt's so weird the excitement you haveWhen you're selling a show and they say yes and you get pumped up for itYou get very excited and you feel that yeahAnd after three weeks you cannot fucking take it no more
27:26between the questionsTo what you could say what you can't say what the budget of the show isWho could be on the show who can't be on the show and then you think I can't wait to be back on the fucking roadWell, it's my showFrom a to z and you start comparing itLike years ago if you called me for anything I would cancel a comedy showToday I'm not canceling a comedy show for an acting gig anymoreIt's too much fucking work
28:00And you know, I love to act you see and we've discussed mutual films. Oh, yeah discussedI remember you I think you called me and said I loved you and grudge match whateverI enjoyed grudge match even though I broke evenHow can you fucking break even a denaro movie?How the fuck do what did I have to do two comedy shows just to put money in my pocket?I take a loss. I take a lot every timeAnd people do not understand this thatWhen we came up, you know, we the bicycle club. Yeah, what did we Thursday night at the bicycle club?
28:32What do we talk about we one day we we can't wait till one dayWe're making 28,000 a week on a tv show as a fucking co-starWe missed all that like everybody else. Oh my godYou missed it. It was 60,000 the co-star for two episodes. What are you fucking talking about?I'm getting 12 50 an episode the co-star to be a hot dog manAnd to be a security guard and shit and it was like nowI love the freedom to stand up so much that Gabriel if you come up to me and go excuse methe word is uh
29:10Like that scripty lady. Like I've just grown to hate themIt's question the tv onesThe ones that you you haven't been on a bad tv showAnd they come up to you like eight times to correct you and finally you go come in for that every every week and uhHer name on my show. Her name is sorrell and she's she's wonderful. She's awesomeShe's put up with me in my moods because yeah, you knowMy whole thing is if if i'm conveying the correct message and i'm in the line that i'm deliveringAllows the actor i'm working with to understand that it's his or her turn
29:46I I don't see the problem, but of course then they hit you with the word, you knowIt's got to have continuityIt's got to match up with the last scene in case I got to cut this scene to this scene to this scene to that sceneAnd and I understand but yeah when they nitpick and and it's and it's one word and it's like reallyAre you supposed to say this word first? Then it's this word, but you're saying both you're still getting it rightBut you're just mixing it upBut it's still the same messageYeah, I get annoyed they still don't see you on your own show. Oh, yeah. Yeah, just because i'm the star of the show
30:12I don't know noAnd i'm an ep on my show. So sometimes I'll just put my foot down. You know what just for that line's goneI'm taking the line out. I'm giving i'm giving that line to somebody else and i'm just gonna sit here and watchI've I've done that a couple times where I've I've been annoyed by line, but for the most part thoughWorking with netflix worse versus working with abcNight and day abc I did go through all that that you just mentioned the you knowThey question everything you give them an idea and then they hire someone else to change your ideaYou know, you said oh, I'd like it to be like this and they've got no it would work better like that
30:44And you never want to argueOr or stand up for what yourProject project is because you don't know if if you're if you're stepping on toes like meI was always like I just want to make sure that I don't you knowI'll raise my hand when I really want to raise it, but I figured if I did it early on I'd be shooting myself in the footSo I allowed someone else to control and run the way that it wentAnd abc would you know, I I picked certain people that I wanted to work with and they're like wellThey're okay, but we think that this person would fit better this person would fit better
31:18And one of the one of the people that I chose that I wanted to be a sidekick on on my show on abcUm, he killed the reed. He was amazing. He was so funny and charismatic and just he deliveredAnd they did not like him for whatever reason and they gave meSomeone who was much tallerlooked way different. He looked more of like a leading man versus being a sidekick andHe wasn't as good. Did you think at times when you worked in that work?That it was likeRemember you remember we first started Gabriel on saturday. He went into the office
31:56And the guy said we had a good weekHere's your 300 hoursAnd while you were sitting there waiting for him to cast a check and sign it over to youYou look around the office and you saw you saw 10 million tapeswith dust onAnd you're like look at these poor bastardsLike remember people used to say you send me a tape. Yeah, people didn't see that's why uhComics today, I don't want to sound like that old guy. Yeah, they don't know what we went through in our time
32:26Like yeah, I remember sitting in the freaking Bart Reed sitting there and there's a pile of of VHS tapes in the cornerOr being in Columbus, Ohio and and seeing of just a room that was dedicated to tapes andI was happy that I got in more so through word of mouthBecause I don't remember sending out a lot of tapesBut I did have a lot of comics that were vouch for meHey, you go in he can em see he can he can do this he can do thatAnd I would always work for whatever because I wasn't I was moreI want the experience. I want to go out there because I love it, you know and and yeah
32:58I was I was using my real job to support my comment my comedy habit because at the time I wasn't making any real moneyI fucking hate it when people ask me for a tapeEspecially after I became a regular at the storeI wouldn't send you a tape and fax you a copy of the schedulewith Paul Mooney in front of meand goWhat the what were we doing talking about here?What else do I gotta prove to you?
33:23And the guy who busted my balls the mostWas freddy soto kept coming up to me in 97 going. Hey manThat guy in Houston really wants to hide but you but he needs a tapeAnd he was talking about mark babbitt. So one day I said, you know, you know what I'm gonna do this one on for nine monthsWell, I would go by but just give me a fucking week. Joey. I'm telling you I need a tapeI gotta run it by the owner. You're such a scumbagYou're such a fucking scumbag. I'm not that hot. All rightAnd then he would call me again. Joey. I never got your tape in the mail
34:00Joey, what's going on? So finally one day I just got a blank tapeAnd I put resume and a headshot man sent it to houston and a week laterHe was like, what are you doing September 23rd or 25th? You sent him a blank blank tape and he told me he loved itAnd that's when I realizedI fucking hate these fucking bookersThat's when I realized I'm not I'm not playing by the rules. Oh my god. This was 1997He told me he loved itblank as fuck
34:32And that became my signature. I would send you blank tapes and people. Oh, we loved it. It was great. Well, it was greatYeah, we'll give you and that's when I realized it was a power thingI'll never forget people calling me in LA and going. How you doing when they're gonna put together a showCan you send us a tape? Let me give you an address and you're like 114Canon drive. What are you talking about tape?Yeah, what are you doing? We need a tape you're doing stand up grab a penThursday night 10 30 the improvFriday 11 45 the comedy store saturday 10 40. What what tape do you need?
35:09That would really piss me off if they were localAnd they wanted a tape I would force them to come out of now that wouldn't do business withI don't want to fucking being your stupid. Sure. Yeah, you're five minutes away. But baby, I sent the blank tape toFuck yeah, dog mark babbitHe was a club owner, but he wasn't a club ownerI I had my own little run with him too and he he still owes me about eight grandYou know Gabriel, but it's what you saidYou fell in love with it
35:44And you took the ball and ran with itYou really did thinking back now like don't get me wrong. We were all running with the ballYou ran behind the right fucking likeIt was just a path and I saw itAnd then a couple tv appearancesYou know fucking it just it just kept the momentumAnd I think I went out with you somewhere and I saw the likeabilityAfter the show that the people talking to you and you just
36:16You just uh took off like a while and and nobody deserved it more than youYou sacrificed your life for this dayI'm here to tell you that gabry lacesSacrifices life for this dayWe could go into hours of detail. We won't go there. I'm sure the therapist talking about that alreadyBut we sacrificed, you know people understandWhat sacrifice in your life isWhen your cousin gets married and you send the check
36:48You don't live your life. We just send checksWe don't go to weddingsWe don't go to nephews birthdaysWe don't do anythingAt the end of the day you have to ask yourselfWhat am I willing to give up?Because it is a sacrifice, you know, people say they want they want to be there. They want to be on topThey want to be the the guy or the girl or whatever
37:12What are you willing to give up that should be the questionAnd I can honestly say I've sacrificed everythingI've sacrificed family friendshipsMoments that uh, I'll never get backYou know to do what I doI I I I love the stage more than I love myselfI've given up healthThe night my mom passed away. I was on a stage
37:35The day she was buried I was doing a showThat's that's that's how much I gave upBecause I I needed to be on stage to function to to not break downYou know people people ask me all the time. Oh, well, you know, uh, what what should I do? How can IWhat are you willing to give up?And and a lot of times people, you know, they ohI've offered to take comics out on the road. Oh, you know, I got the thing with my kid. It's happening. Okay. Well, and you know what?And then hey, then that's that's what that's what you need to do
38:12But what are you willing to give up not to be fresh you to go to the funeral?I did not attend my mom's funeral for the simple fact that my familyDoes did not seeMeHow can I put this?Me going to my mom's funeral probably would have would have ended landed me in jailbecauseMy siblings and I did not see eye to eye because they didn't understand what it is that I do
38:43they didn't understandWhat I was willing to give up in order to be in a certain placeAnd uh, I still haven't spoken to my brother sincebutWhen when it all went downIf I could take it back, honestly, I realized that it was more so me versus my siblings and I should have I should havethought about the bigger pictureBut unfortunately, I was in such a rage in such an ugly place where I would have made
39:10A big mistake by being there because any little thing would have set me offI remember uh that night that my brother called me upAnd the conversation that we had it just I I couldn't see anything but redI couldn't see anything but red and no matter what he tried to say to me. It just wasn't clickingand uhI'd gotten a text message from a friend of mine armando coceoAnd he was he was thereAnd I remember getting that message and I just I like what was I thinking like because I could have I could have been there
39:42and when people asked me about regrets and things thatI wish I could do differently. That's that's definitely one of themI'm I'm I'm an adult now where I can look back on it and go, you know what?I should have checked my pride. I should haveI should have checkedEverything because it wasn't about me. It wasn't about my brother. It wasn't about my siblingsIt was about my mom and even though we weren't on the best of terms at that timeWe were in the process of trying to resolve things and she had gotten sick before I got a chance to uh
40:12To make that make that the caseandI remember I was I was in so much pain and I just the only thing that couldGet me out of that was to be on stageAnd I remember I was in Ontario. I went and did a show in Ontario at the improvAnd at the end I asked for a shot and I says you guys have no idea the the day that I'm having right now andAnd someone goes what happened? I go you don't want to hear it and they're like come onI was like, let me just tell you what happened and the whole crowd got quiet
40:41And I'm like, yeah, that's that's what I'm dealing with as of right nowand uh, I I I drink a lot that night and uh, it was one of those things whereyou know, it'sWhat are you willing to give up and at that that at that time? That's that's why I gave upAnd uh, I miss my mom dearly and I'm I'm sad that I I wasn't there at the endWhen I had an opportunity to be there. I just don't think that I was in the right mindsetSo, you know, you you you work hard. You want to you want to be a certain person you want toum excel what is it you're willing to give up and um
41:23I I gave up my family. I can say that nightAnd um, I I don't have a relationship with my brother now. Uh, I barely talked to my sistersand uh, you know, when I visit my mom's grave, it's it's it's I can't say I'm sorry enoughYou know, but there's moments where you know, you you you think you're doing the right thingand uhThat for me is my biggest regretBecause my mom would have done anything for meYou embusting your ass
41:57Christmas you did how many shows did she do and that's another thing too give up christmasesI would work christmases because I couldn't be around my family joy. It was that badIt's like then they wouldn't look at me and talk to me like a person. I was I was now a thingI was now thisThis personality. I was this this this this thing that just is on tvIt's and they all saw it as something that was easyLike my brother insulted the hell out of me one night when he's like, uh, he's he told somebody in the houseI'm funnier than him
42:27ReallyAnd I'm like they they didn't understand and the more I tried to explain things it just you knowIt became a thing where yes, I became the guy that sign checksI became the guy that you know, can you loan me money? I got tired of loaning money because nobody would ever pay it backSo I just learned to just give itYou knowIt's it's hard when people stop looking at you like a person and they just look at you like this that thingYou know at the end of the day. I'm still flesh and blood. I still feel pain. I still make good decisions bad decisions
42:59I'm I'm a humanYou know as as a I'm a person but when people cannot separate the fact that you know, you're just thatHow did your mom feel about you because I remember the special where your mom was in theIn the audience taping my mom was a big supporter. She would never laugh at my jokeShe was more so like, you know, he's doing what he wants to doUm, I remember one day I brought home a flyer. I showed my mom a flyer of me on the flyerShe was so happy about a freaking flyer and I go mom. I've been on tvThis fly really the flyer. She goes no mijo porque I can take it to bingo and show this cabronas. Mira mijo
43:35It's on a flyer. I'm like that was when flyers were the social media of the timebut uhNo, she was a huge supporter just that it came to a point where even she was having issues with what I was doingAnd the amount of time I was gone and um, and then she wasn't a big fan of my girlfriend eitherSo that became a thing, you know, and it was it was hard. It was hardYou know, man, I've been saying this for the last couple years thatWe went in the search of becoming a comedian, but what we ended up becoming were menLike I grew up in this shit
44:12This made me be a man this whole fucking game. It taught me a lot. I learned a lot from this gameWe saw people blow upAnd shoot themselves in the footWe sawTiffany had his blow upWe saw people come and go, you know, I still remember taking a ride with you from Burbank airport toto uhTucson
44:39on wednesday nightTo a club called bugsy is the guy would pick you up the guy must be like 800. YeahTell them this tell me the size of the bolt behind his neckThere was aThe guy who put everything together and he was a he was a sweetheart of a guyI don't even know if he's still around butBecause I know he had lost a bunch of weight by the time he came to the commissary. He lost some weight. Yeah, it was aIt would call him big alex not just alex. It was big alex
45:08He was he was huge. I remember every time I'd see him he was getting out of a suburbanHe was always in the front seat of suburban and it'd take him a minute to get out of the carIt was just big and tall. It's like six five hugeAnd uh, sweetheart of a guy and we would work at a bugsy'sOn the corner of roger and oracle in tucson, arizona, and I know this uh, because I still have the posterI still have the poster from when I performed thereAnd I had done shows with you there you and debbie gutier as I did one show thereI did another show with rudy and gilbert
45:39umAnd uh, joey medina was the bookerHe was the one that set me up to go down there, but yeah one those showsThe show paid 150 but the plane ticketI didn't get 150I got 50 because they had taken my money to split it between rudy and gilbertSo I got 50 and a plane ticketI didn't care at the time because I was that was the first time I went on the road
46:04That's why I saved the poster because it was my first road gigHe would pick you up take us from mexican food take you to eatThat was one thing big alex would take you to eat make you feel specialTake you to the hotel we go check in at the cliff manor inAnd i'm like wow the cliff manor is next to a golf course this place. It was disgustingIt's disgusting now. No, no, no, no, they cleaned it up nowAt the time I still remember staying there with darin codder and that black girlAnd the black girl fucking called me in the middle of the night
46:35She's like you got to figure something out people trying to break into my doorAnd it was a hotel and then you crossed the street and there was like a mexican restaurant. Yes, same one restaurant. YeahThat was a cracky fucking, you know, but if you don't know what a cracky hotelAnd if you ever stayed at a hotel when we were doing comedy that was atage momThat's a thing too. That was one night in a hotelLike we you you would get to the room at fourAnd you had three hours to pick you upYou have no idea you would get naked and just lay on the bed
47:09You know, they tell you to take the sheet off the people have come on it, right? You don't even give a fuckYou lay on top of that thing you put hbo onYou pick your feetYou got three hours in the hotel room. You've been fucking performing atWest Covina and all these fucking places the last two months. Now you're in toosan, Arizona. Oh, shitI'm on fire. I never saw that place as a as a rat hole or something. No, me neitherIt was the greatest thing it was the greatest thing in my world a on a fucking wednesday night to pick up 150 bucksI remember hearing my name on the radio for the first time
47:47I was in my room and I had theThe radio on and I heard performing to you know this weekendThe you know bugsies and I heard my name for the first time and I screamed so loud when I heard itI was like, oh my godI was like that scene from uh that thing you do when the kids are running and their song is playing and I was just likeOh my god, I open the door. I'm screamingI was so happy. How long in the standard for you?Ah, you gotta figure I started april 10th of 1997 and I was on the road
48:16July what was it 12th?So me june june, yeah three months. Oh, shit. Well, I was doing comedy three months and I was on the roadPerforming in toosan, Arizona and I'm at this hotel which for me. I'd never been on a flightI'd never been on a hotel. Whoa. So for me, I all kinds of cherries got popped in toosan. Uh, yeah, that happened there, tooumI remember the first time I went there I was with with gilbert and with rudyAnd they knew that that was my first time on a planeAnd so rudy tells me a listen man. Look you're on the road
48:48I I remember rudy and gilbert from uh that show comedy compilates back in the day and so I was like, oh my god, you knowNew world. Yeah, it was and I'm like, I'm hanging out with these two guys. Are you kidding me? So I just wanted itI was I was so green and and rudy tells me listen when the flight attendant comes by and she offers you sodaDon't make me look bad. Make sure you you know, you give her a good tipMake sure you give her a good tip and uh, if they try to you know, give it back you insist that they take itOkay, we got to make sure that that you knowDon't make me look stupid and I'm like no, sir. And I was I was I was I was that kid. No, sir. Absolutely notIt was 20 21. No, I wasn't even 21 yet. I turned 21 a few days later
49:26I was 20 years old and uh, sure enough here comes a flight attendantShe brings me my coke and uh with the ice and everything in the napkin and I tried to give her five bucksShe goes, no, no, sir. It's okay. Oh, no, no, no, I insistAnd she's like, no, sir. I'm not supposed to take the money. It's okayIt's and I'm trying to put the money on herAnd rudy and gilbert are just they're dying. I'm like, what's so fun? And then I realized there were ribbing me and I'm like, ah, here we goHere we go. How many nights did you do at the brave bolt?Oh, man, I lost count of how many times I worked the brave bull or worked
49:58Worked the brave bull or worked commerce or worked the ice house on the uh, I don't know how many, uh, lastgrand finale, uhShows that we're gonna be at the uh ice house. I don't know how many the lot, you know, because rudy's always having it's the last oneIt's the last one. It's the farewell to the east side comedy. It's over. It's done. We've had an incredible runIt's over. We're finished the last one this wednesday. It's overIt's done. That's itWe're done and I remember he'd always get me. Hey, man, this is the last oneyou know
50:31Don't forget those the flights and Tucson and all those other shows that I booked you for come onJust it's the last one. I'm there rudy and I don't I'd go when I do the last show andBefore I knew it. That was you know, it's the second. It's the second annual last showThe third annual last show. It's it was always the last showSo, uh, yeah, but the brave I had so many great memories of the brave bull and and all those other venueslittle timesI would go to brave bull even go to me joeytonight, you know
51:02The vp of the bank is here. Can you clean it up a little bit?And I would go up there and you go extra dirty and I go extra fucking dirty and they would go crazyBut I think the best night I had at the brave bull the brave bull was a bar inAnd I want to say it was san gabriel san gabriel. Yeah, and it was fridays and saturdaysthey hadNot to exaggerate how many rooms did they have did you do comedy there?Well, they had like the the main room or or it was like aI'd say about a 600 cedar where they'd have you know bands playing stuff like that
51:37And then they had the smaller rooms like little annexes in there a banquet hall the little bar roomIt was awesome. It would have been a comedy clubIt would have there would have been like the the store the main room the belly room, you knowYou never knew what room you were going to be there when he booked youLike when he would call you and go you're available friday night you goYeah, yeah, and some nights you were in the little room some nights you were in the room that had the hornsOn the wall like there were different horns from different bulls and oh my god sheep and shitThen there was a banquet room in the back
52:11That's the first place I showcased from I kept goingBro, I I could say his phone number. I still know it by heart. How many times I called him and tortured him backYeahWe just spoke because he had a heart attack. What was it like for real for real. Yeah, well, you knowI'm sorry. I'm sorry. I I question it now just because you know, I've I've I've drank in the kool-aid once too many timesI've I've helped with theLike no, manOh
52:56Of him with uhAnd really, you know, I love you at all my heart. You're the funniest manon facebook. He had a picture of him with uhour cheeseburgerAnd a soda and it said two days before I had the heart attackAnd he was having like a double cheeseburgerSo he contacted me and he goes root joeyPromise me you'll take care of yourself and we went back and forth and told me what happened
53:23And blah blah blah blah blah blah. I haven't heard about a benefit yetBut if I know anything about rootyI'm friends with the one facebook news benefit. It's coming. You know what I mean? Like I I see the big benefitElport tile feederThat type of shit, you know what I'm saying?so but regardless it was so weird becauseHe gave us 300 spotsYou know in those days we were doing
53:5345 spots a month gameYeah, and they weren't they weren't comedy clubsThere were there were rooms not one of them. Yeah, sorry to interrupt. How did you get the bicycle club then?So you were doing comedy three months because I rememberYou had the bicycle club and there were some weeks that you weren't there because you were on the roadI had uh, how did you get the bicycle club?I made friends with the food and beverage manager who had seen me perform somewhereGuys named Javier Sanchez still owe him $200 by the way
54:27He owes you or you know, I owe him because I was there was a month where I couldn't pay my rentAnd I reached out to him and and he hooked he was come by the the bike and he gave me 200 bucksSo I could pay my rentAnd it was one of those things where just I kept struggling toLike I'll pay as soon as I got the money I'll payAnd it was just one of those things where I it took a while for me to catch up and eventually I lost the room and lost contact with himbut uhHe was the one that offered me the room
54:56Because you think you can set up this room and I remember I just got a computer and a printer and I printed out my own ticketsAnd I was giving out tickets and inviting people and that's when I met uhMy first fan her name's Monica Sanchez. I just saw her a couple nights ago her and her husband TonyThey were always coming to the room and they would bring every weekThey'd come back to see me do those same 15 minutesAnd they would bring people and then those people would bring people and then it just became one of those things whereyou know, it wasThey would they would they grew my audience in that area
55:27And I would do shows for Monica in her garageOne of the first new year shows that I did I was in her garageperformingUhBut that's how I got the bike. I mean, I got the you knowThe Javier Sanchez saw me perform somewhere and then he goes. Hey, man. What do you think?And a little by little comics would come out and do the show and he gave me a small budgetTo work with but hey, you got a free meal
55:48You got made a couple bucks and you know free free drinks and you had to go back on friday and get paidYou had to drive back on friday and get paidAnd I'll never forget going into traffic like at 4 30 going let me go to the bicycle club. Oh my godI didn't get home till eight o'clock at night on the friday night to go pick up 35 fucking dollarsIf I would have known I would have left it there for the fucking 35 hours. I couldn't borrow 35 hoursI was furious to go down thereWere you clean back then? Uh, you know what? I was when I first started doing stand-up in 97Um, I was I was cussing a lot. It was it was a nervous cuss
56:24I was just throwing f-bombs just to throw them just to fill fill spaceI felt likeYou know four seconds without a laugh was was too longSo I needed to fill it, you know, I was in a you know f this f this f againWhatever and of all people joy medina was the one that pulled me aside and he goes. Hey, listen, manYou're you're really funny. You're you're likable. You don't need to cussAnd it's crazy coming from joy because joy joy cusses a lot in his actHe goes you don't need to cuss if you work clean now
56:52You'll never have to edit your set when you get an opportunity like a tonight show or somethingYou'll just be ready and you don't have to edit you'll be readyAnd that's probably the greatest advice I ever got from a comic was telling me to work cleanumI'll cuss in my show now, but I don't I don't it's not a lot. It's a little bit here and there, uh, butDefinitely that helped out so much in the beginning because I was able to go anywhereI was able to perform itYou know at noon that went for a kid show or I could go and do two shows at night
57:20You know, I could go perform at a church. I could go perform a corporate functionI was doing a lot of college work because of thatSo for me, that's that's what helped to to grow everything was like hey, he's he's safeI avoided, you know, people tell me like, okay. Well, what uh, what do you think is a, you knowBig contributing factor to why you're where you're at. This is not always what you sayIt's what you don'tI say I don't talk politics. I don't talk religion and I don't talk sports because all three of those things will ruffle feathersAnd then you divide your audience
57:48And so some people say well, you're not as edgy. You're not as this. You're not as that. I go. Yeah, but the place is fullYeah, you know, umSo yeah, I tell people I have an opinionThat's why I don't I don't do I don't I can't do a podcast because I don't have a strong enough opinion to put out thereYou know, I keep my my show safe for a reason. I want people to enjoy themselves and not have to thinkI don't want to make people think I'd rather just entertain. That's what I chose to do just to entertainIf I have an opinion you buy me a drinkYou you might hear me say some shit, but yeah, I don't I keep it away from the stage
58:22You know when I was coming up. I opened up for a lot of guysAnd there was two people who stood out that I opened up for in those daysOne was rich jennyWatching people leave his showBecause there's a feature act. That's what I would watchThe people leaving the show their reactionRich jenny got the best reaction because he was just a purecomic stand-up and the second best reaction. This is
58:5297 to 2001 or twoThe second best reaction was pop those peopleHe didn't curse he made noises. He jumped up and downHeBong BongOne manHe did let me tell you something. I was living in seattleI did not think I was to shit
59:20I was a regular comic. I was dirtyI knew the limitations. I was starting to findWho the fuck I was. I had to get angryI was living in an officeAnd one night I went down there frustratedAnd I realized what I had and I go I got to work off that angleYou know I'm saying like you gotta just uhI forgot what I was going with this
59:44PabloAnd I worked off an angle and I started opening for people when I watchedI remember opening up for stand-upNot oh no, we're not opening up for stand-up watching stand-up. I hadn't met himI opened up for himEarly in boulder when I was the house emcee, but later on after he won san franciscoI remember going to see him to a full house and by the time he got on stage75 people had walked out
01:00:14The people who stayed were on the fucking floor crying and laughing the people who left thereRan the fuck out of thereIn my mindI never saw the benefit of thatEven though I'm a dirty comic like I remember when I got the longest yardI had a little bit of heat. I went on the roadI remember going out and walking through the hallway and people would see me in their reaction toursAnd they thought I was when I had them silence friends
01:00:46I was going to jump up and down and fucking play the fucking fiddleWhatever the fuckAnd I'm up there talking about snorting coke with my cat and shitAnd at the end they would walk out in Gabriel. They wouldn't even touch melike I would see them walk out likeYou know and I got to see the reactions of peopleThen I opened for you somewhereAnd I saw the same thing
01:01:13That you had beaten out Pablo nowIt was you and rich JennyThat when people left your shows it was like they just left disneylandYou know what I'm saying like they had that look on their faceWhen people leave my shows guys look happyYeah, let's go home and eat your monkey and the chicks like Jesus fucking ChristI ended up with a fucking retard that likes a fat fucking retardYou know, this is the truth
01:01:42And that's the thing I always admired about you thatIt was Richard Jane and PabloAnd then you just moved into that slotAnd it didn't matter whether you were latin black asian, you know what I'm saying?I'm talking as a comedian watching people leave a show as a feature actYou know like in miami, you know people would run out of paul mooney's showOh, yeah, and black people would walk out and even you know fucking and word them to death as they were walking upYeah to some people that's cool. I know people that love walking rooms
01:02:21When I was coming up in seattle, there was two comedians that they live for that shit GabrielTo go out there with the worst joke they can say to make people get up and go fuck you and stare that upI never liked that when I go on stageI think people see my heart and they let me get away with what I get away withYou're following me, but they know it's not really who the fuck I amThey know how to I can't go home and spit out my wife's backShe wouldn't go for that shit. You know what I'm saying?but
01:02:49When people go see a gabry glaciers showWhen you see them on the way out theytheyI saw footageAnd it was like remember when Pablo went back to the villageTo pick up a fucking suitcase and narcos he went back to the villageAnd he came on all the fucking columbians surrounding me now. It's top Pablo. That was youThey surrounded you you had all these spanish people around you know what scene i'm talking about right? Yeah when he told the kid
01:03:18What was his name the guy who had the taxi cab the limon limon when he was limonHe just started giving out fucking hundreds. Me that it's pablo. Hi, dieu sevendiga pabloGod bless you pablo that this was you without handing out the hundred dollar billsIt was that scene like I don't know where I saw the footage. Maybe it was one of your specialssomethingI saw them reacting to you afterward and it was likeHe's like fucking pablo iscabaWithout the coke think about that
01:03:51Pablo had to show up with coke and a box of hundred dollar bills for people to treat him like thatThey come they treat you like you knowIt's unbelievable and you handle it and then I see you on twitter and I see howPeople you know when you get on twitter you're like i'm gonna be on twitter for the next 45 minutesAsk me whatever the fuck you wantYou know, what are you gonna eat for breakfast? You tell me two tacos when I get to houstonYou know, you got your favorite taco spotIt's just a really neat thing, you know
01:04:25Over the fucking holidays. I'm looking at twitter and I see these picturesYou sold out like staples anaheimThey canceled the duck game because you showed upFuckThere's probably more people on this show than the duck game anywayFuckin youThey just cancel us and gave you a once before tonight the ducks are canceled. Don't worry about nothingFuckin they cancel the duck game anaheim
01:04:53And then christmas day you went into each improvYou know, it's just it's just remarkable what you do and i'm happy thatYou're right. You're right. I mean we're talking about20 years ago getting 50 bucksGoing to to sound arizona and with youLike me the love is still there for it. I still fucking love itI still fucking love it. Yeah, all for this whole season to like, uh, you know, what are you gonnaWhat are you gonna do when the when the show's over? I'm gonna go
01:05:25We'll go back to do do my batch and do what I love to doI'm excited. I get to go back on the road this weekHow many weeks did you take did you shoot the show season two?Let's see what the hiatus isn't everything was probably 15 weeks15 weeks of time that I was not out like I'd still do dates on the weekends if I could pop in somewhereGo do a casino or go do you know?Yeah, in between that I still I did that staples honda runBut I had booked that way before the show was set. So those those dates were already set in stone
01:05:56So I made sure that they but just to go from that mindset to that mindsetThat to me would crush me. I don't like doing it no moreI got to go to new york and shoot marchI would love, you knowIt's new yorkI'm going in for to new york. I got to be there for eight days. I got to shoot threeI don't know what days i'm gonna shoot. I love to workBut I know somewhere along the line. They're gonna go
01:06:23We need you that day now. I got to call levity laniakAnd say you gotta get somebody so I know better, you know what I'm saying?But between you and II really don't want to do comedyIf i'm doing this movieI'm doing this movieYou got to be you got to do one project and then you can do yeah, you know what if I got two nights walking aroundI'll go to danger fields
01:06:50On the upper what on the upper east side. There's eight people in the audienceAnd I'll just work out the back of the notebookThere's shit that wouldn't leave me fuck around and he tapes me and I take it backThat's shit that I have one line that I useI go to danger fields. I don't book no dates. I don't like getting confusedNever mind the club you go from a set to the staple center. I'd have a heart attackI'd have a fucking panic attackAnd you know what for me, I I get more nervous on the set than I do
01:07:24And you know doing a show and you tape live too, right? No, we don't tape live. We don't tape liveAll those pictures I saw were like a little audience kids coming through this. Oh, no, noWe tape in front of a live studio audience. Yes. Yes. Yes. I thought you meant live like the connersThey did that episode where I was live. No, no, I'll never do any nothing nothing live to tapeNothing like that anywaysBut yeah, we would shoot the show live in front of an audience on thursday and then wednesdays were pre shootsAnd then of course rehearsals rehearsals and stuff during the weekAnd then friday was a table read
01:07:57There's another i'm a two-year comic and there's a lot of young comics. I know that listen to thisWhat is it like going from50 people at the bicycle casino to 20 000 peopleWell, what does it feel the same you see it feels the same or it's a it's a different feeling altogether because it's likePerforming in front of those 50 people at the bicycle clubI think honestly, I think I tried harderI tried harder to performThen then I I do now I go in with a different mindset because it's like I think I had a different energy
01:08:28Uh, I was so afraid of having any dead space any any dead air for me. Like, you know, well, they're not laughingI gotta I gotta hurry up and move quickSo my speed is is very different in front of staplesIt's you go you you got to slow it downYou got to let them laugh and then take it in and then you you hear it come back to youAnd then you can go if you try to perform at the same speed you're going to step all over your laughsAnd that kind of uh in that size environmentThat's great. Um, I love clubs. I mean I did the I did the
01:08:57the two big showsHonda staples and then I booked myself at at Irvine and on and at braya that sunday because I wanted toI wanted to join myself. I enjoy the clubs moreI can I can I don't there's no pressure there. I get to have fun and just I can see the whole audience and and I canDo q&a. I can take pictures. I can't do that at the bigger onesDo you remember when we started comedy there were guys thatDid stand up got kind of good?They got a tv show and then they stopped doing comedy
01:09:28And then they did five years on a tv show and now you never hear from them againIt used to be a comic so it was always television was a means to the to the endNot anymore the new breed that came in after that was like fuck youWe'll stand ups to the end. You know, I admire bobby leeYou know bobby lee's been on what 22 fucking showsAnd he still has that what 945 slot at the comedy store every nightHe's got the number three slot every night bobby lee bobby lee's been on 22How many years of mad how many years of mad tv that bobby lee do he's always working
01:10:07He's always working, you know, he's the voice of this the voice of thatI mean, uh, it'sIt's fucking ridiculousAnd then because of the times too because of the times too, I mean people can become stars withoutWithout hollywood. You don't need to sit calm anymore. You don't need a hit movie anymoreYou know, you just you you got to go viral. I remember passing out flyersI remember having to talk to people and hey, if you come outI'll buy a plate of rice at the bicycle club and and I'll introduce you to such and such a person
01:10:40Just bring a couple people with you like I used to negotiate with people to come out and see me performAnd there was no social there was no twitter no instagram no facebookUh, that's what I give a lot of credit to to daneDane cook is the one that opened my eyes to that whole social media thing and when I saw thatI mean people could hate all they want but manHe he took something and he ran with itAnd and made millions and performed inarenas all across the country and it was just like it was inspiring to watch somebody grab
01:11:11Lightning in a bottle because that's what he did and I said I got to get in on this somehow and and by the time II jumped on the myspace wagon and got my followers thereHe was had already moved on to facebook and built another five million following right there and I'm like, oh, I'm too lateI got I was always trying to play catch upAnd uh, finally once I got into the mix and then got into youtubeUm, that's that's when things started taking off when I was able to work outside of the usWas when youtube and and facebook took me thereI remember having a conversation with you that somebody saw you
01:11:44on facebook in india or somethingOn some country and they brought you out and then you talked about performing out there in indiaYeah, somebody fucking saw you on youtube and when they picked you up the guy was a struggling comedian tooThat they had started watchingComedy comedy because of watching you andAll that shit and fucking indian you performed or something. What was the story? What the fuck happened? Well?umWhen when facebook start or i'm sorry when youtube started happening people weren't sure exactly what to do with it
01:12:17You know like okay, so I can post my own videos like well, how does it work?You know nobody knew what the fucking algorithm was what you knowSubscribe it's like well, what is this is am I do I gotta pay for this? Is it you know, how how does it work?and uhI was lucky that I was justToo lazy to call people out that would take my video content and post it as their ownSo I would have I would have people that would take these you knowClips that I did on comedy central
01:12:47And they would post them and you know usually to say oh no you you'd click a button to try to report them forFor posting your content. I I never did that. I actually started doing the opposite because I figuredThey're promoting meI would tell people post all the videos you can all the links you wantI was doing the opposite of what everybody else was doing everybody thought that all they're taking from meAnd I'm like I looked at it like marketing. I'm paying for marketing. SoLet them promote me let them push meInstead of fighting it like when uh
01:13:17Metallica was fighting napster and all them because all they're the posting are posting our stuff up there and they had good reasonIt's freaking metallica, but for a regular gel that didn't have aFollowing that was the best way to build itand uhYouTube uh had manyYouTube stars that were just it was like 10 10 people that ran youtube that were like the the youtubers of the timeand I was introduced to a uhYouTube star named ray william johnson
01:13:47By one of my guys at the time named lance patrick you put me in contact contact with himAnd uh, he had this show called equals three and every week he post all these funny videosIt was it was the tosh.0 of youtube and actually tosh.0 came out after thatso I mentioned to say that that was the you know that that show came from that show and uhRay William johnson had something like 10 millionsubscribers on youtube and he allowed me to guest hostA half dozen times and every time I'd guest hostI would have another hundred thousand followers from one appearance
01:14:19I was getting more heat from doing youtube shows than I did from doing a tonight show from doing a letterman from doing aLate late show from being having a half hour specialSo I think I I was able to capitalize by embracing thatAnd uh once I started posting my own content and doing everythingThat's when I started having followers. I get messages from yugo slavia from ramaniaYou know like i'm a big fan of yours. How come you don't come out here?And that's what built up my following because comedy central doesn't play outside of the statesI never did a deal with hbo
01:14:51And then once netflix happenedOhYou know you was one of those things where I ran with itAnd because I follow you on social media youI because I know you have a whole big productionAnd you tape your shows now. Do you ever put that out or is that just for the screens at the show?Well, what do you mean tape it because I I see you behind like they have a whole you have a whole production room with likeDifferent cameras I can see or maybe I'm wrong at the studio. Oh, no, no, no when you're out when you're doing shows
01:15:20We're doing live shows like the reason we have cameras at the shows is because we have the giant screensRight, and we have to have cameras in there so that they can post the the images on so you don't put that stuff outNo, no unless it's a specialYou know I'll record I'll audio record the shows just so I can go back if I said something that I thought was funnyI can go back and remember how I said it so I can you know do it the next night or or work on my material that wayOkayBut yeah social media is just it allowed people to not have to have a sitcom like I said to work on on a showIt's a it's a loss
01:15:56financially, but I know that it's it's gonnaYou do it now so that you can stay in the mix so you can beRelevant so you can have a reason to get an interview on a ktla in the morning. That's because he's got a showI want I want people to respect comedy the same way they respectYou know actors and rock stars because I think the numbers are thereI think the numbers are thereyou know kevin hart is abig influence
01:16:24I don't strive to be as as big as kevin hart because I know he has to schedule breathingHe's got a schedule going to the bathroom and II need some freedomBut he's an he's an animalThat's when it takes some time, you know, listen the guy's in the gym at four o'clock in the morningI'm just going to bed at 4 a.m. Yeah. No, it's a different. He goes to bed at 10, don't he?Well, no, like I said, he's in the gym at fourSo I don't know what time he goes to sleep. I just saw like marky warbur's routine. Oh, yeah
01:16:53That's that's insane when he's when he's home. He goes to bed at nine 10. Yeah nine 10 o'clock at night, you knowlisten when youWhen you have to look that good, this is what needs to be doneWhen you get if you want to make seven million dollars a fucking movieThat's what needs to be done to make 30 disciplineSacrifice to be doneYou have to change if you're really fucking serious. You know, there's a guy coming behind youThat guy's breathing down your neck. You know what I'm saying?
01:17:26That young guy, you know, like brad pit still got itBut there's a young brad pit right around the fucking cornerYeah, brad brad pit's just waiting to convert into cloneyNo, he's gonna convert into robert redford. OhOkay, remember he was always robert redfordHe was always dead to replace robert redfordRobert redford fucking was right there to the stinging shit robert redford was slinging dickWhen I was a kid every woman wanted to suck robert redford's dick
01:17:56But then fucking robert redford got a little old his hands started shaking and shitAnd then showed up brad pit with the long hand with that one movie and it was all old but the shoutIt's fucking crazinessBut no the way I see your growthIt was a constant growth gabrielAnd it was one thing that went into the other that went into the otherBecause of the work you were doingIt just I didn't say no people say well, okay. I didn't I started saying no recently
01:18:27But I mean anytime an opportunity was presented. I'm like I'm all over it. Okay. I'm in I'm down when let's goI was doing 47 weeks out of the year47 I was working my ass offWhatever gig it was I was downWhat is your status right now? Are you a dick sling there?Have a relationshipUh, I've been single now for uh, you know, let's see. Hmm a couple years nowHow old is your son my son is 22 you're still full contact with him. Yeah, actually he's uh, he he was I got him a job working
01:19:04as aWorking stage crew. He was he was a you know working at a theater behind the scenesIt was a stage and he did that for about a year and uh, you know nice now. I got him a job on the roadSo he's he's happy and and we have such a great relationship. We it's not just us passing each other in the living room nowIt's like we go out of our way to spend time together and he's he's been awesomeBrother, I've seen you grow up. How fucking crazy is that? Yeah when we did hey Joe you hey look youYou knew me when I had hair. Look at this shitOh, it was have a flat top now. It's just you know
01:19:44I still remember going to bugsies with you and you had the carAnd we drove we landed in burbankAnd you dropped me offMaybe six blocks from hereOn the other side of that fucking park you dropped me offAnd I don't know what type of car it was whose car it was. I don't know if it was IvanI don't know who the fuck it was. I didn't know I was getting homeLike you didn't know when you were getting home. You got 150 dollars. It was 50 for the coke
01:20:15So that puts you at 100 right thereYou had to tip the bartender 20You ate breakfast that was 10Now you're down to 60 fucking dollarsYou're coming home with 60 fucking dollarsYou went all the way to Tucson, Arizona. You had a burritoYou're fucking wet at one time. I went with larry omaAnd this is the funniest thing I ever saw comic that
01:20:40If there was because the place would get 90 people, right?Bugsies, uh, man, you know what back then I just I remember being 75To me it looked like a thousand people were in there because like those days compared to the bicycle clubBut after the show they would put them like a dj would come outYeah, and there was dancing and there was dancing and I remember him going up to like eight women in a rowAnd like him getting shot down in flames like eight times in a rowAnd finally like this little ugly timid one was like, I don't knowAnd she's and I was sitting there watching this whole thing. I saw the creepiest things go down at that place
01:21:22But here we are brother 20 years later and uh, I'm happy youTook the time that came up and say hello, you know, I miss youAnd it's great to see all your success and I always break your balls on twitter or whatever. Yeah, I knowThere's not a lot of people that I could say I go back with that. I still have a good relationship withYeah, no because with with with time and with growth and change some people don't handle it. WellSome people don't handle change. Well, some people don't handle growth. Well, some people can only grow and and when I say grow, I don'tYou knowThere's a way
01:21:59Whether it's work ethics or whether it's, you know, you said earlier about becoming a man likeYou know, what did it take? I mean, I there was a lot of painWant to get to a certain place and and some people will stay that way and and not learn from itAnd there's some people that they can grow past itAnd I feel like I've I've gone through so much over the years and I appreciate the fact that you've always been you've always been youAnd if there was anything if I had ever did anything that uhThat required calling out you you were the first to do it and there was always a respect that you knowHey, uncle uncle joey said and you know like martin would call me up a man could joe has some question
01:22:33Oh, shit. Here we go. And I get nervous because I'm like, I saw you very much like aUh parental figure where it was likeAh, man, what what did I do? I got asked martin. It's like, I don't know man, but he wants to know. Oh, shit. All right. Here we goSo that there's always been that respect and that love there for youAnd I'll never forget that one night we were at the comedy store and it was uh, it was it was maryland's, you know, uhLike funeral and then jeff al des went up there and I'm like, oh my god, and I witnessed uh, yeahI saw I saw the the side of joey that I never wanted to be in front ofI saw I saw those flames directed at someone and it wasn't me and I was I was never more happy that
01:23:17That I was never on your bad sideBecause uh gave I'm trying to write a joke right nowI'm comparing a wake to hollywoodLike I saw my mother get buried and I went to this wake and cuban wakes are five days four days fucking longYou know the arm has to pop up before they bury it. They they swear to godSomething's gotta move before they bury it. SoI saw these people come into this wake and everybodyTold me if I ever needed anything to call
01:23:54And a month later when I call him the phone was disconnectedYou know, so I've always had a big problem with wakesLike I just don't fucking like himSo I walk in there that day. See there's a backstory to the jeff al desThink you know that he tortured me in marylandfor yearsAnd that thing that he did to me with the latino laugh festivalI never ever forgot that
01:24:20Because he made me showcaseLike a donkey five timescleanAnd then he said you didn't make it to the festivalBut then he did a midnight blue showAnd he didn't ask me to do the dirty showAnd I saw him after he came to the store on purpose that monday nightLike to rub it in my face
01:24:42And I was like that's a declaration of warBut I'll save that for later down the road. That's how crazy I amSo this is 98And I say there's a declaration of warThat showed back upIn 2007Like I always knew I was gonna stab him one way or another. I'm looking at you in the faceAnd I'm telling you that that whole thing
01:25:08WowTo describe to comedians what it felt like it was a time in my life whereI couldn't find an agentI was booking shit. I booked a cbs pilot. I booked baseballAnd I had booked something elseEverybody was had agents. Everybody was going to montrealEverybody was getting something here. I am stuck at the store following paul mooney every nightAnd I didn't really see it for what it was. Do you know what I'm saying, dawg?
01:25:40So here I amLiving my life. I never bothered the latin communityIn 2000 in 1996They called me in seattle and flew me downAnd put me in a hotel and bullshitAnd took me to the live factory made me go up number sixBehind greg geraldo and fucking wow. This is when paul was a fucking pureThis is when paul was doing seinfeld in spanish
01:26:09And once I saw that my insides broke. I'm like, I don't deserve to be down hereSo I went up. They put me up like number fucking twoI'm a cuban guy in an old mexican room. I get fucking buriedI get off stage. There was one person who came up to me and gave me aMarilyn MartinezCame up to me. She goes. That's the funniest thing I ever saw in my lifeThese steps just don't fucking get it. They don't knowFuck them. They have a broom up there fucking pussies
01:26:40You know, like she would just go off into like this thing. That's how I met Marilyn MartinezWas after bombing my first time ever in la and getting off the stageAnd her going off and taking me outsideAnd telling me to move hereBut I should be on the next plane down here that they're looking for guys like meAnd I remember taking her numberAnd I went back to seattlekept in touch with Marilyn and then I got the deal from cbs
01:27:13And when I came back I called MarilynAnd she told me come to the storeI went to do she's a mitzi the whole fucking thing. I mean, it was just mind boggling how nice of a lady she wasShe had the black husband david david always had those mints in his pocket. YeahII could always depend on david to have it hand me a mint. It was just a weirdI don't know what she was to you and me. She was likeShe went off on you. She went off on me
01:27:48You know, it was like oh, she was like an angel. She would go off on me for bad relationship choices because I would always tell herWhat was going on? You're stupidYou know, she would tell me some nasty things I should be doing instead of trying to be romanticOh, David give him a mintLike oh my godIt's funny. I don't I have a picture of her on my uhOn my clipboard. It's like I have a clipboard on the wall and I just look at it whenever I see itI just think her say she would call the house dog
01:28:24And if I didn't pick up remember the old answer answer machine pick up pick up pick up. Hello. I know you're thereShe would say cocksuckerAnd my girlfriend would go what kind of people do you hang out with?That's when I first started dating TerryAnd my only recall the house we leave the store at twoYou went to the Santa Monica. You got a chicken burritoYou just talked there till about quarter to threeAnd then you went home and a half hour later your phone's ringing. It's melvin
01:28:54And all since you got I gotta go there's a guy calling me for phone sexAnd then she would go get a phone sex guyAnd I'd be sitting there snotting blow and also my phone would ring. What's up?Fuck him. He wanted me to stick a broom stick up my pussyLike she would say all this shit to you and you and I'd be coked up GabrielI'd be five in the morning coked up and you've talked about melvin before that you knowThe people know that she's she used to be a a phone sex operator back in the day those 976 days in theNow you got a month round. It was five or four
01:29:30Three seventy eightBut she had one of thoseHead look like you got hit with a safe like somebody dropped a safe from the 11th floorGod rest us all. I'm not saying nothing bad about it. I miss her dearlyI couldn't even imagine her around todayLike oh, wowI couldn't even imagine her around tipping the scales at 400Eating on a podcast talking dirty shit
01:30:02About people because by this time she would have been fucking gone. She would have still been talking shit about poetryGod rest us all. Yeah, she was not for the sensitive. YeahI heardBut you know, it was weird that she was a phone sex operatorAnd she told me that she remember her character was Miko Miko. I'm a japanese. Yeah, she's japanese. She was mexicanShe would play MikoAnd something elseAnd then she was she'd grab her cheek and she sounds so wet and she'd do the little
01:30:43Oh my god, this is how she paid the bills. Yes. Yes. Oh my godAnd I remember going on the road with them and going to the hotel when I had a coolerfilledlicoriceCandies they were like walking diabetes. It was it was tremendousIt was tremendous. It was like having a momBut not really she was a comedy fucking shit, manShe was awesome. She's been dead for 12 years now. Oh, wow because that's how long I've been clean
01:31:12She died the week I decided to get clean. So that's what I'm trying to say to youJeff Valdez caught a beatingEight years later, I waited in the bushesLike like what's his name in the beginning?What's his name in the beginning of apocalypse now?Remember when he takes the head of acid he's naked in his roomCharlie sheen's fatherMartin oh, i'm like martin sheen remember he says right now. I'm in this room getting weaker
01:31:45While charlie's in the bush getting strongerI was just charlie in the bush getting strongerAnd I always knew I was in a light valdez up for that nightHe broke me like it didn't matter what else was going on in my lifeLike it didn't matter. I was poorIt didn't matter that I didn't have a fucking theatrical ageIt didn't matter that nobody wanted to sign me that none of that shit matteredYou couldn't give me a spot in a dirty show at the festival
01:32:18I never forgave him for that and how he switched it up that weekAfter he humiliated me like four or five times the following year he sent us down there and he paid us with a checkI remember you and maryland me maryland and thenJust because he sent me down there didn't mean I forgaveI always kept that in the back of my mind and it was always going to be a smack to the face at leastI knew it was going to be a smack to the faceSo I let it whatever I picked up the longest yard they called me and they tried to run a scam by meFirst they called with a number and I said go fuck yourself
01:32:58Then they called back with the number I asked for like that easyLike all of a sudden I was fucking Bill Cosby. I'm the hottest actLike just they they just weren't right something wasn't rightAnd then they did that last festival where everybody bowed out ofAnd they did the theaterJeff Valdez did the theater on hollywood boulevardI was still living in hollywood. He kept calling me going come onCome on over and do the theater. It doesn't pay anything
01:33:27But he's charging 55 hours at the door. He's not paying anything and I and I was over it alreadyI was over the whole latin scene that that ship had fucking sailed and wentLike the whole whole whole thing had gone. It was brokenand all of a suddenThe thing I fucking hate the most happenedA friend of mine diesSo at the time I know he was given her workRemember they were doing that tv show about her working with kids
01:34:01Yeah, this uh, was it a show like ctv?theYesHe was paying like 500 bucks. I'm not mad at him for thatI was mad at him for what he put us through because not only was I heartbrokenBut malin criedMalin cried to me saying that the reason why she didn't get it was because she wasn't pretty and shitAnd I just never forgot that night
01:34:29And I just knew he was gonna get it and all of a sudden god forbidEight years later, malin martinis is dead. I get off the plane from new york. I haven't done coke all weekendSo I was four days into wrestling with the no coke thing. I get backUh, there's gonna be a wakeMy cat dies and make a fucking promise that i'm not gonna snore coke if the other cat livesAnd all of a sudden we have to go to churchFrom malin martinisAnd I parked the car
01:35:04I was maybe three ninety at the timeAnd I was taking kung fuIn silver lake with some fucking joy karate. That was how joy karate became. OkayAnd I'll never forget parking the carGoing in and seeing jeff out there by the church and my blood pressureWent up from 100 to 190And I said hello, I was called you and there was drama going on who was gonna pay for the funeral malin's husband couldn't afford the funeralSome people said they were gonna pay for the funeral
01:35:41But if certain people showed up they weren't gonna pay for the funeralSo david was all stressed out. I was living in a fucking apartment. I could barely make 700 dollars a month rentI couldn't help out. I felt horrible. So I knew all this bad energy was going onSoYou know me, you know i'm not headed and at that time I had the drugs going onSo I could I could hit you with a dishI threw a bottle at some guy at the comedy storeI used you know, I was doing shit that junkies do you know what i'm saying? I was doing junky shit
01:36:17So I bowed out of that thing at the comedy store that church thing was at 10 o'clock a.mI saw jeff there like 11 and my blood pressure started going upI went home and I said i'm gonna stay home and mind my businessI even took a sleeping pillI took a sleeping pill so I wouldn't do coke. It would have been like the seventh dayThat I would have been clean from cokeAnd I was already burning the fuck up and now my best friend diesSomebody who calls me every night and calls me cocksucker and all this shit
01:36:52And I go fuck thisMy friend a friend of mine was not my friend no more because she started drinking and it was still fucking mineCall me up and she goes listen. I'm not gonna tell you how to live your lifeShe was your friend if you don't go it's gonna look badAnd I go you know what you're absolutely rightAnd I fucking went there, but I stopped I got 60 the house out of the atm and sunsetAnd I went to the dealer's house and I bought a gram of coke and I put it in my drunk pocketAnd I go i'm gonna go down there and i'm gonna fucking
01:37:27Do whatever they were having like thatNow you were there at the store at the store when we had a talkYou were there. Okay, so I walked in doesn't I little vika got naked tooRight little vika showed up. No by that time they had sent me homeI was banned from the building and shit like that. And by the way, I didn't get banned for thatMitchie sure called me. I told her the truth and she goes fuck himI didn't like him. Anyway. He's a greasy motherfucker or something. So I was like, whewI risked that bullet. I when I go in there and make the turn now
01:38:00I'm clean off coke for seven days. I'm pissed off about thatI'm pissed off because they offered me a movieAnd the people said to me, excuse me before you accept the movie won't you to think about it?Because you know, we know you have a drug habitI was pissed about thatI was pissed about MarilynI was pissed about everything in my fucking life wasn't going the right wayAnd I walk into the commie store main room and there's a buffet
01:38:29for Marilyn's deathThere was a line of food in the backThat Corey Cuomo had put together Freddie Soto's wife. God rest his soulAnd who was eating the free food?But Jeff ValdezThat was the ultimate insult where I come from. I knew I had a stab in the fucking neckI went in I didn't even have time to to snort the coke. I swear to godI went in and I got uh
01:38:59Like a do is on the rocksAnd I drank itAnd I walked and my blood pressure my heart was pounding. I didn't know if I was gonna hit themAnd all of a sudden they stopped me and they go hey, we're gonna we're gonna start this thingIDon't care if you're three or 75We still got itYou know what
01:39:56And that one sounded wetI'm 57 that went down that roadI went home one day if I swear to god about a month thingI just went to white man's and found a little piece of shitI didn't question maybe I made a mistake. I didn't know how I got thereAbout a week later againMy ass was a little burning likeI go back to this like a little fucking what do you call like a milk dud?
01:40:27Oh, wow. So yeah, I got like little milk duds. Like I'm losing like people pretty soon. I gotta wear a diaperI'm like two months away from wearing a diaperSo I might as well have some fun nowShip my pantsYou gotta see your pants pull over and then you drive a little bit and throw them out the windowYou can't even do that now because now you're not wearing no the cops will bring it in check the 23 of meAnd all of a sudden there you are at home jerking off watching tv and the cops come with your baggy with yourWhen you're fucking me undies on and they're like listen, we found your fucking sperm in here. Oh, by the way, you're not mexican
01:41:07Gabriel glaciers thank you for anything you want to tell us what season date anything. Uh, they haven't given me any informationWhat's the name of this tour? Uh, the name of the tour is beyond the fluffyFuck itFuck it. God bless you. It's been an honor to know you fucking 20 years. I've seen you grow up in front of meI'm an old man. I'm 57next wednesdayWow, happy birthdayWow
01:41:35Happy birthday. Nice present for myselfFucking uh, gary. Let's check them drawersNo, you'll need to check those drawers now. We need those fucking potato tacosThat and they fucking joe malach probably ate them allEven the other kids who couldn't wait to get their hands on thank you very much for coming on guysLove you joey. Love you brotherAll right, don't forget you dirty motherfuckersThey added an extra show in tempi on thursday night 10 15 and on the 27th to 28th of february
01:42:06I'll be a treasure island in las vegas. Check the fucking schedule. I think the 28th before we leaveLike I said, this is brought to you by butcher box. I am in love with thisThat what's the best night of the week?State night followed by mama letting you get a little sniff a little whiff. Listen to meThis meat is fucking tremendous. Like I said, they vacuum seal itThey deliver it right to your doorIt's fresh whether you get the salmon the the the the steaksI mean they sent ground beef everything was fucking first class with butcher box
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01:44:38Start with the gummies or the raspberry. You'll fucking die. You'll hit you'll tweet me and go joeyWhat the fuck did you put me on the tincture? It's fantasticEverything about it is fantastic. So go to cbdline.com right now. I'm pressing church again. I want to thankButcher box. I want to thank cbdline.comI don't want to thank my man. Gabriel gracious for coming downI don't want to thank the flying judeOr aka the christ killer, but most importantly, I want to thank you motherfuckersFor supporting me. I'll see you guys at tempi. If not, I'll see you next fucking tuesday morning ready to go tip top magoo
01:45:13Stay black. Have a good week and a great weekend. I love you motherfuckers. Kick this fucking mule b
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