Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #779 - 4/20 Special with George Perez

Episode Date: April 20, 2020

Happy 4/20! George Perez, a stand up comedian, an actor, and the host of the, "George Perez Stories" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: MyBookie.ag -  Use code promo joey to get a 50% match on your first deposit up to $1,000.    CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to www.CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.   

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You're trying to put two pieces together, but so is everybody else. But right now it's for fucking 20 I got my main brother in the house with the mask and everything George Perez I got stymie over here. He don't want to do nothing. It's hilarious I feel sitting across from George. I feel like we're with two drug dealers on drug zinc. Yeah, watch drugs Yeah, every Friday night. I go out there in a whoo, but I saw fucking met Little white kids and you see the guy. Yeah, now I'm gonna go to gorilla's house. You know, he's you ever watch that show No, there's a show called drug zinc on Travel something like that drug zinc and the cell drugs that have an Uber they fucking show every city

They break down every city They got a drug dealer. They show you the the components of the city What makes up the drugs were part of the city they sell them Oh, wow, you the life and day of two or three drug dealers That's everybody's got a wear a mask and you see them picking up the coke Yeah, and they all got street names. No way killer and they'll type up And they've been having the corona virus for years they always got bandanas on Chinese glasses and shit. That's why you remember the 70s. They had glasses to make you look Chinese. Yeah, what?

Yeah, they had like a little glasses to have like a glaze on them So made people think you were Chinese. I don't know Lee. It was like a 3d glasses. I didn't ask questions I just bought them through my drawer It was like giving away 50 cents it you take this It's 420 fucking we was good at well, I also want to give a shout out the weed maps Com I did a video for them this morning. It's up and rocking on my Instagram And it's also on Twitter. I don't know where the fuck it I know it's on Instagram and I'm part of the festival this afternoon for weed maps calm

So don't forget about that. What's been going on George Perez, you know Bro, just living this quarantine life, you know, trying to try not to be a weenie during the quarantine You know, I just like I you know, we talk Joey. I love you You call me like every other day or check in on me and like it's just been a bonding time with the kids my kids are older younger and Just living it up, bro, you know, what else can you do at this point? I already wrote out my obituary Yeah, that's how you do it when you when you're just scared when you're walking around this skin

I want you to do with general whatever told us men Right at your obituary and you're fucking huge eulogy. Yeah, you what you want the right guy to write That's it. All of you do that. You can be a new fucking man the next day I trust me when I'm talking uncle Joey don't lie to none of his nephews. You know, I love you motherfuckers with all my heart Are you scared? Are you having anxiety? Do me a favor, right? You fucking obituary the whole thing Joey Diaz aka buttons aka Born in Nevada. All right grew up in North Bergen deceased daughter and leaves behind a wife and a Jewish fucking You know the whole thing I wrote right out your obituary

Right out your eulogy what you want people to say about you. I wrote a letter. I'm a fat fucking. There's a good dude He respected comedy, you know, he was a thief in life, but when it came to comedy, he did it, right? You know, I wrote a fucking eulogy out and that's it move on guys If corona gets you and gets you if doesn't all you can do is wash your hands Wear a mask and don't both stay away from people But beside that you're doing the right thing. So you need money. So does everybody else Yeah, wait it out go to the advanced paycheck that ring you got on you can't eat it Yeah, you can't eat it. I've been telling you for years that car you bought against everybody's wishes

You can't eat it. Go sell it. Fuck it light on fire in Mexico. I don't give a fuck what you gotta do Sell to the cartel. This is what you need to do now. Yeah, George. I give you props. You even fucking got a job Yeah, I got a job dude. I clean offices. Yeah, this is it. This is what people don't understand This is why you're on the show today to let people know that what comedians, but yeah, we'll do whatever the fuck it takes Yeah, I mean, it was a humbling when you told me I was like, wow At least one guy got it that you know You have a dream That dream right now gets put on hold right now. You got to feed your family straight up a prince

He's the clean offices. You know that Prince with a clean offices and with the money. He used it at studio time Prince dog This is it. This is do or die, you know, I know people are hurting And I know that everybody's waiting for that check for some people never gonna come some he has got it, you know I filled out the form four times and it's rejected me four times Yeah, you know unemployment people are waiting some people have had success. I'm not here to be a doom I told you a long time ago to get you a little self a little side gig Sometimes if you're busy just keep your mind off. Yes

Yeah I'm Mexican, but I'm I'm like third generation My dad was born here my grandpa and I was Okay, and I work with oh Gee immigrant Mexicans right now and I forgot how dope My people are from my native land dog when you when you work with an immigrant It's I shot up to work one day with no lunch and this fool was like doesn't your lady love you That you came with no lunch

You know me I had a six pack in the I'm taking this as a party dog I got side dick Eddie working with me where ever we we take two beers in our pocket every time we go clean a restroom boom pound it wash our hands wash our face boom go right back out and This biceye had his wife make me lunch dog How dope is that? Hey, you know, I broke it down psychological. I was like damn this fool woke his lady up in the morning It was like nah, you got to make one more for George nice, yeah, and uh I

Kind of like how like I'm I'm informed about the COVID dog Like I talked to inspectors and they tell me like hey, you know what you're spraying on there do you know why we're doing this shit and Whether it being man-made or hoax or anything The state of California is not fucking around yesterday. I cleaned an old We cleaned a courthouse. That's gonna get demolished But they're scared that the corona lived in there and then when they Demolition the building it's gonna spread and hit people

Do you say buddy those chemicals and bring them home and yeah, I fucking spray everything that I spray the cats I spray killer Tell them Joey We ain't fucking around, you know, Sam. Yeah, we spray everything everything gets cleaned my fucking office is spotless I could tell I wiped down the fucking the computer now This is the new modern, you know, this is the new thing, but no, I admire you that thank you Thank you club closed down the brain Rated my strip club and they know

Yeah, we were there fine did he get fine No, so what happened is is they came by and they gave everybody a letter. Hey check it out if You are not in between these guidelines of social distancing like ten customers max Six feet apart and my boss don't fuck around She gave all the strippers mask all the strippers had They had like a little ziploc bag that they put their money in so it wouldn't touch the purse or get anything infected and You're getting hand sanitizer before you got a lap dance both of you guys would get hand sanitize and

They just came in the sheriff's they didn't draw their guns, but they came in with a warrant They're like like old-school dog Everybody get the fuck out Everybody just left and then they sat us down. They said hey man if we come back. It's a thousand dollar fine But there was a club that stayed open. Did you see that it came out on the news? Yeah, bliss Yeah, it stayed open Joey. They were doing fever checks on people outside That's some shit, but I'll tell you the sad part man Is these girls were crying on the way out like?

Honestly, what does the stripper gonna do right now Joey deliver weed? Yeah. Yeah, because he deliveries are up We did right now all dispensaries are legally open like if you go on weed maps calm and look That they're really medicinal marijuana's dead delivery services have gone up Dramatically since nobody goes out. Let's take urban trees where I go. Okay. There's sales right now in 95 5 5% of their sales is walk up You could the safest place right now in the LA is urban sure urban trees Okay, you can walk in there. I go in there with a mask to give you gloves

They're outside the door is open. No way. That's why I go to the urban trees because the door is open I'm not going anywhere with this for a share. Yeah, I have always been a fucking nag about that I don't I get close to phobic. Mm-hmm. I get what I see you in a car. You wrote a woman down every time every time January, let's get some air down. Let's get some air in this car. Well, you're breathing. I'm breathing. What the fuck are we doing? Yeah, this is 2020 is the mass killing you 20,000 people The mass is killing me dog when you when I work out my backyard only use a mask, but you got to walk You really got to walk a couple days a week You got to walk a little bit every day and I was walking and I was doing fine. Oh my god

I had to walk with a mask. Whoo Different fucking ballpark had dog. I had to stop a couple times and make believe I was stretching But I was really trying to get my life together like I was about to die You try to walk like up a hills. I walked like, you know, I walked down the river side I walked with you know, and I try to walk off the beaten path I don't want to walk where I'm walking behind people. Yeah, so to do that. You have to do it early Because people start to go out around here about three once they've done all their work and their kids have done with home schooling

So three o'clock in this area the streets are packed So you're breathing what everybody else is breathing. Yeah, which is races your potential. So what I do is I Do something with her early I bring her back and then I have time to do it So I usually take the car park and go somewhere walk Okay to an unpopped. I'm not gonna go to a park. No love to go to that park By no whole I would love to go to a bunch of parks with every one of them I've driven to every one of them beaming as a pat. They're all out there and I can't blame them That's the obvious choice when you're drunk. You drive on fountain. Yeah, right when you're drunk

You drive on fuck sunset. So this is right. So this is the same thing here people are going to parks So if you don't want to walk around that and then small neighborhoods people start coming on around 3330 and Walking and then you bump into people. It's okay. I found parking lots where I take my daughter And she just spins around. I'm just trying to burn her up. Yeah. So when I first take her out in the morning It's with a scooter Then I switch it up to the bicycle and then about 3 30 I pull her out again Instead of sitting there listening to the news. Let's get the last little bit of the sudden and Then in between that I try to take a walk. I was doing fine

Until I try to start walking with a mask and that was fucking crazy, bro So the last three walks I've taken I've been with a mask and they've been rough Rough where I had a peeing shit. Like I was getting anxiety rough. I couldn't breathe. Yeah, it's a new obstacle So I'm gonna try it every other day just to walk a little bit. Yeah, I feel weird wearing the mask and the gloves Is dog tummy, this doesn't remind you I I don't know about you, but I I did some bad things in life and I used to fucking Rob people are breaking to a house and this is this is the feel Lee. That's the feel Lee This is it like right now. I could do something and get away with it

Like hey, dog, there's no fingerprints. I got this shit on you can't see me really Like does it actually like make you feel like that you get adrenaline or something? Yeah, I get anxiety You feel creepy. I even tell people eight. I'll get away. You might get took right now I put gloves on when that felt creepy I tried to rob a bookmaker one night and I would wear Those gloves under a pair of oj gloves. Oh shit oj kill Nicola, huh? I had a pair of those not the French the fancy ones. Yeah, but that style. I know what you mean It was 1983. It's like a it's like a chauffeur kind of that was fitted. It was February

It was still cold in Jersey. I wanted to rob this bookmaker So I put a pair of those gloves underneath I had a screwdriver had a weapon and I had a pair of oj gloves And I had a run. I ended up getting caught. I didn't get caught. I got the cops came before I could break the Seal on the window. Uh-huh until this day. I have a scar on my right And once they told me I was going to lose the movement of my finger The reason why this was so tough was because the boboi got caught

And it ripped the glove And the other glove got caught together. Yeah, you have no idea the pain I had And I did it all with with cocaine and booze I made it a no fucking day before going to the hospital I'm just cocaine and booze. I took this glove off. I was walking around like Michael Jackson for a day I would just walk around with a glove on and the glove was drenched from the blood So whenever I would put the glove down, I would take my glove up and there would be a mist of blood Where I slept there was a fingerprint of blood like it was like a guy slept there and they cut his hand off

I think you hated blood. Why are you waiting a day to go to the doctor? Because I fucking couldn't even imagine Going to the doctor the glove was black So it didn't tell the picture of blood. So it didn't let me faint. Yes So the whole night in the bar I went there and I was bleeding But I was drinking this is this is just to show you is this in new jersey Yes, this is just so when people go look at those assholes in the Florida that are out with man This is our time we go to put that would have been me. I would have been I was talking to a friend of mine Yeah, then he goes and he thinks that

It's easier for the kids today To stay home because they've been staying home because of the computer age and games and technology He goes that this would have happened when we were growing up. It would have never worked Now it would have never worked as we were so addicted to being out It would have never it would have never worked right now as it was In my hometown, I heard they closed the park And people kept jumping the fence and playing basketball So they took the rims down

People kept jumping the fence And playing basketball against the backboard And then they had to come in and take the backboards down. Wow Like but this is what people do they want to get out they want to jump So you're caught in this fucking realm of Do you stay in how much do you push the envelope, you know, and that's what I'm just trying to do because I'm right there So I'm just trying to Keep it light for right now. Yeah, I don't give a fuck one day open. I have my own agenda

I'm not going on the road. So I got my dates. I already know how I'm gonna do them You know, I think they're gonna cancel Cleveland and uh Uh In vianapolis june 21st to 20 Miami just got canceled with kim condom. Okay. Miami's it's it isn't that like it's done may 15th Miami was done We were supposed to be in Addison and right that got pushed to january. Oh fuck somebody asked me on refunds yesterday I told them that

I think ticketmaster said no more refunds So they pushed the opasso Date to january who knows what's gonna be happening in january Who knows if texas gonna have a quarantine? So that means we got to go there two weeks before the fucking show You know, who knows what the restrictions are gonna be. Yeah, all you could do right now. All I know I got on the books is July 31st in las vegas, and I don't expect it I got august 1st in san diego. I don't expect it. I don't know what's gonna happen in june, umbraia

Yeah, june 4th through the 6th. It might be open, but we could only do 80 people per show but Is that gonna be the rule They're not gonna open it up to garcetti already said No thousands or more gathering yesterday in honeyton beach. Yeah, there was 500 people out no mass flags and shit. Fuck you What they showed the one guy

COVID is alive, but he's still had a main mass And it's sweet. Look at he bravo I feel it was any bravo. I look like I guarantee it's any bravo down there There's no such thing as hope if the mass doesn't fit you must acquit, but the mass don't fit. Yeah, listen I see these numbers spiking I see high area Places not coming back for a while now new york It embossed it is out of fucking control. That's crazy. You know what it all was lee

Fucking I gotta blend the juice Right away, you gotta point your fucking fingers at the juice. Yeah, do you want me to tell you why new york embossed it again? It's so hard It's not because like florida's getting hit because of the knuckleheads. It's just a lot of old people It's going through nursing homes But you want me like I know two people for a fact of my own town Three of them got it. The mother died. The wife survived

Oh, they were all out of ball on st patty's day St patty's weekend was a killer. They clothe. Remember they didn't have it in LA. They didn't have and I don't think they had No, they didn't have a friend in Boston, New York and Boston, but people still got together. Yeah, we're sure of course People still got the iris. Don't give up. The iris's fault. Thank you. No, it wasn't the iris's fault. It was everybody who plays into that Fucking Yeah, i'm iris. It's fucking no fake holiday. It's it's not listen if you're irish You know the uh glass or whiskey at home is the same as having a good You know what i'm saying you you live with your family. Yeah that's family orientated clan anyway

You're with your family at the house I think it was the outings that weekend. That was the weekend. Michael. Yo got it That was the weekend of the big explosion. Okay. That was the weekend. I was supposed to go to new york I would have been there. Fuck patty's day It would have been fucked up right now if god would have known what what what would have happened. So Well speaking to what george said earlier Uh, because I read an article my mom used to live in a city in a town named chelsea Which is like right outside of boston

um And she was saying like that and I read the article that that city is the biggest city in boston It has like rates like new york because it's a lower Middle-class neighborhood and more more people that have to go to work Like i'm sure i'm sure the the rates of of this are worse the urban areas again. It's so hard And like ingot that it isn't Beverly hills black people or Brown people no those people got to work You know

What people gotta pay bills though Yeah for the mask Yeah, quickly puts a mask on all right You know what though i'm kind of scared that on single the mile My people ain't they ain't gonna stay home I mean if we do i mean they're not gonna open up bars. Okay, there's not gonna be bars open But I guarantee you they're gonna be at the fucking park in the morning They're gonna be at the backyards all that whatever if if you're dead

Owns property that no one's there. There's gonna be a party Yeah They mean pass over. What did the jews do that you guys? Uh, they did it on online Online say there's our party say there's a say there's an instinct of the mile of the opposite say there's online I gotta give them a lot of respect for that. What's up? You want me to tell you somebody watch the few of them? 12 jews like On It was kind of nice, you know, but

George, I feel you and at this point listen We've been educated a lot to Either way you got a choice to make you could be safe Or you could be sorry the rest is up to you. I can't control what your actions are No, I feel the government can't control what your actions are either But I also want you another consequences I also want you know that from here on in They're gonna fucking when you get that bill in the mail for that eight eight months stay

If you think that stimulus check is gonna pay for that you're fucking wrong Those nurses are getting 128 dollars a day So they're getting Nurses are making making good money in new york. That's what's going on in syracuse and albany In places like that The nurses are leaving those hospitals and going to new york because they're paying a buck 28 Yeah, a fucking hour fuck face mask and whatever 128 an hour that's a lot of fucking money. That's a fucking that could bring you back after a month. So yeah

Oh, there's a lot of things people don't know, you know, that that that's fucking crazy I don't even know what's cuba doing. Did cuba get hit hard or I don't think so because yeah Because socialist countries no one goes in or out, right? Yeah, so I think an italian brought it in on vacation And they contained it but I haven't heard much about it I spoke to my uncle the other day and he said he hasn't spoken to My aunt a few days I had to call my aunt because

Greg Fitzsimmons was going to cuba and I was going to hook him up in cuba And my aunt was going to try and just like welcome him. Yeah at the airport. Let him know what some good stuff at Good restaurant or not to go to yeah, I was going to get him a night at la facteria I don't know. Don't let him go up. You know, I don't know what the agenda is a la facteria So that's the last time. I don't know. I don't really know the statistics in cuba. I was mexico Mexico's bad, bro. Real bad mexico. I heard that I spoke to a dear friend of mine chemo Who was at the show in vegas? I spoke I checked on them days later because they were on their way

Guns and roses have canceled all their shows except for Mexico City Oh, shit. Like that was the weirdest thing like people are like really you can't do the whole tour Except mexico city and like I guess guns and roses flew down Got on stage and we're in planes within 30 minutes of the performance. Wow Back to la and like I guess a week later Mexico City got robbed, you know Just killed by the fucking shitstorms. Yeah

I don't know what it was. It's so bad in mexico That the president shut down alcohol sales because people were always going to bars going out to get a beer He shut down alcohol sales. So everybody just loaded the fuck up to get alcohol and Come on dawg. There's no money out there for like Hospitals and anybody doing bad. It's You know, who's hopping out mexico right now, man The cartels the cartels that run that area

They're out there and even on the package, you know, how did you know how like the red cross will give you a box? Mexico and I seen a I didn't see it in person, but I seen it on the internet Where the sena loa cartel That one from narcos the badass motherfuckers. They're all bad. I'm not saying but like They were giving boxes to everybody just like hey, you know what? The government says they protect you and they help you all that now we take care of you guys Because it's a territorial thing with them. You know what I mean? Take care of us and you see anybody that doesn't belong you're out of place. Just holler at me

That's really interesting. That's really interesting that the narcos are going away They got the money straight up. Did the mob do something during a Thanksgiving? Everybody did something, but it was you know, god he had the fucking turkeys fourth of july It's funny if you read the book People would say the same as a bull book. He goes. Yeah There'd be hundreds of people there eating fucking hot dogs They'd be puking them up knowing how he made that money that there was heroin money You know that they were eating those hot dogs and burgers, you know, uh, the black dude the one that taught

What's his name? Bumpy johnson. Bumpy johnson. He was He gave out turkeys. Yeah, and you know, brown exactly No jack city and all that but uh, what were we talking about like that? How the uh, the quacksiles are helping out much Yeah, this is this is uh, well like what do you guys think? About like there's cultures like you're like spanish culture and Black black culture like there's a lot of cultures that like live on hugs and like A lot of oh, yeah, that's why do you think that's gonna like we adjusted dog at the end of the day Right now, but do you think you're gonna like is it gonna be like when this is over too?

This is like going to church Just because you go to church just because you don't put a video up of you Bringing pizzas to a fucking hospital Just because you don't do these things doesn't mean I'll help out your community It's like I'm a big mask guy So if I went bought two boxes of fucking masks And I went and knocked on my doors and my neighbors who needed fucking masks That's what's up, you know, I saw a chick running the other day with no mask. I pulled up next door

And I just put a mask out the window, you know, yeah, I mean, it's the same thing. It's the same thing with As long as you're doing something nice on every on a daily basis My wife dropped off some clothes and shit I saw these people they opened up a homeless thing for men Right here in the dirty side of north hollywood So they needed sweatpants So I had a bunch of sweatpants from when I weighed 400 pounds fucking. There's a bunch of skinny guys walking around with tents on right now

It was like Yeah, you gotta you gotta do what you need to do and To cut tell their animals their savages, but they also come from a Spanish culture Yeah, the hugs the whatever. It's the same thing. I don't have to give you a big You ever you ever go out at night You ever go to like a black army club? Mm-hmm. You know, these two brothers hate each other But they see each other in public. That's a big And a big hug and everybody's happy. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. What's the hug for? Yeah, what's what the bullshit?

Straight up. So this is gonna cut out a lot of bullshit. You don't need to hug me You know, you don't need to hug me right now. We live in a society where we need to hug but Unless you got a wife or a girlfriend, you ain't gonna get one. Yeah You know what I'm saying? Unless mom's around and your mom are fucking, you know You want to do something nice go to one of those old folks home? Knock on the glass and show them your dick and run away I Thought about doing that

Because it's like why I ran over the college At least I had a little entertainment to my life. You know, I'm saying just because you fucking just because there's a quarantine Doesn't mean you still can't have fun. Oh, hell. I have mad. I was telling did I tell the story in the park? Because I was telling you before the podcast About me fucking the walls closing down on me About a week ago and I fucking call Lee and I go, what are you doing? He's like, I'm about to do the twitch I go before you do the twitch hold on I put my pants on I ran to the weed store and I bought three containers

of that juju juice the fucking The quickies quicksy I bought three of them and I ran over to Lee's house And I drank one and Lee drank one leave his making face. It's like you I was already high at that point It's on the way home that shit must have hit me Yeah, that shit must have hit me because it's it's a body body high, right? It hits you right away It's liquid. I think it's a liquid. So it hits you right away. It's got a hundred milligrams

It's not a lot of milligrams, but with the The quickies I take is for sleep It does put Brian woke up a fucking 10 to 9 this morning I drank two of those things last night. I slept like a baby So, uh, I drank one I gave Lee one I watched Lee drink his and it must have hit me And I was driving down. Did I just tell this story? No, you told me earlier Earlier and I'm driving down the street. It's gotta be 10 to 10

I'm minding my own business, but let me go back When I was a kid, my buddy had a funeral parlor And He was a great kid. We loved him to death But in the every morning at eight o'clock, he would put cones out Just cones out in front of his property Me and my friends would be snorting coke And every day we knew at eight between eight and eight ten

That's where the flower car comes And they start loading the flowers up and then they put the body in the Oh, I got you now saving the spot So what they do is they would have two of those one at at nine o'clock And one of the 11 o'clock we had a time So it's 1984 we would drink behind a coke factory the cops put the fuck with us It was a coke factory and we would snort coke behind there. We were putting mirrors on top of loads of cars We'd be back there from four in the morning and at eight you run out of beer and I had a friend

Who would go oops, we gotta go take care of something And right before they would the whole family would be standing in front of a funeral parlor My friend who was like you Would be with his black suit because you own the funeral parlor and then my other buddy would run over the cones Right in front of him and my friend would just close his eyes and shake his head And then later on he would see my friend and he'd go what the fuck is wrong with you But we went from that Just if we see a cone you gotta hit it

Just on principle. Yeah, you got a cone. I'm either gonna hit it or I'm gonna steal it But I love like with this construction. I'm gonna sideways Ashley I've been I've been with him coming back from the brain improv And I'll hit three or four cones just for principle I've always loved hitting cones one one night one got stuck and everything. I love it So there's a house And this is this guy owns it. I guess I don't know who the guy is but he's got cones in his driveway And it's like him and the guy next to him think they're cute and they have cones in their driveway

So let people know like you can't make a u-turn at my drive. We don't want your traffic over here Does something to me it bothers me. You're telling me that you're not part of a community Yeah, so what if somebody turns their car around and you call how does it affect your fucking property value? How does it affect you? So every time I see those cones where I'm in my wife, it burns me up inside So already one night I was with li and I ran over them I just saw him and I go li look at this motherfucker fucking And when you run over them the ring goes on the lights go on it's hilarious

And there's two sets of them so you have to go in and out. Oh, yeah, there's two sets of them So I go in and out and then I bang them again So the end I'm driving home highs. Fuck That's what's because I didn't even remember till the next day And dog I seen those cones out there and I and then there's also a sign that says don't hit the cones Boom, I hit the sign too. Just out of principle I hooked the right. I made a left on co-front. I was done home. Yeah I'm surprised you even lit them on fire. Oh, that's a good idea

see I don't I don't I've never lived in a neighborhood where like you could put cones. That's douchey. Yeah Yeah, like I remember some of my neighbors would drive because like I you've been in my neighborhood Your neighbor is fun. It would drive me nuts. I'm the white guy would be like You have the music blasting at like two in the morning. I'm like, you know, like in my neighborhood They they were trying to put the trash cans out to save parking spots And motherfuckers will just throw your trash on the floor. Oh, yeah, I'll run it over. I'll run it over

When I looked up the corner here people would do it. They thought they were cute They'll put that garbage in front of your car. Oh, that would be coming home in the comments I got you one in the morning I'll take your garbage down next morning. I wake up there out there sweeping that garbage Hilarious I caused havoc in this neighborhood Yeah, remember there was a guy who was parking here. You didn't like any of the pickup trucks He just put like all your drinks for a year in the back. Oh, dog. I used to pour cat litter The cat litter from my house with the cat shit. Uh-huh. I would pour it in the back of his car

No way and then we why because dog you can't park here They would park there and go away on vacation. Oh, fuck that so they would see the train connects over here So what people would do is? either they would Park their car here that's free And then take the train to bearbank airport. Can you take a train to bearbank shuttle? So that's what they do. So a lot of these motherfuckers want to save our money So they park on this street during the holidays. Okay

So there was a black truck one time That normally the park in front of my house. We took up two parking spots. Oh, that ain't right. That's a decent That's a direct offensive That's straight. Fuck you So I sat there for three days And I figured out what I could do. So I looked at them I looked at that. Are you meditating or I'm meditating on this because this is going to be slow torture

I want just to be a a slow houdini type torture So I houdini this motherfucker for main isz. This is going to be jan michael vincent Did you see the professional? Yes. Did you see this recently? No, I see I see the one the old one, right the one with the chick and a little guy The little girl and that guy and the guy. Yeah, the guy from uh fucking godzilla god said, have you seen it? Absolutely. Yeah, that shit is hard. You know the pieces of I don't think I've ever worked. Okay. They kill the mom, right? They kill the mom the family. Yes, but at the end he kills the whole building Takes him out as he's walking out

The cop it's he's one of the best actors in in the game right now. I forget look up, uh The professional tell me who's in it, please You have a minute Hey, I could imagine your brain. He played the professional. Is it something else the professional? It's called the professional Um, it's a shame we're supposed to do fucking the comedy store tonight. I know Oh I was excited to come out. Do you know Huh, do you know Gary Oldman Gary Oldman plays the cop in that movie?

He steals the fucking show But I don't know if you don't remember how that movie ends The gary omen kills that little girl's family. Yeah, because he said there was heroin missing. There were a heroin family So at the end when he's walking out and don't tell me spoiler alert bitches the movies 20 years old Yeah, if you haven't seen it go fuck yourself Fucking dummies. Why are you spoiling alert? I've never seen it. We'll go fuck yourself. It's 20 years old by now It's older than that. Yeah, so At the end of that

He goes in gary oldman. He spots the professional dressed as a cop He sneaks out. I kind of like the snakes. Yeah He switched costumes with the cop. Uh-huh and he's noticing because he took his mask off to breathe And then and then the professional walks out the building And gary oldman shoots him in the back of the head and then when the good professionals laying there He's he's like this and he looks up and gary oldman stands over him And fucking the professional puts his hand up And says take this this is for Alina

Because he was an italian a heavy accent and gary oldman doesn't know what it is He takes his hand and he looks at it and it's just a ring With a thing and then he figures out this is a linchpin And he opens up the guy's jacket and there's grenades And he blows up. That's how the movie ends. He hits tremendous. Yeah, they stole it from the mechanic 1973 yeah, jen michael vincent Yes, same move And michael gets into the car and there's a note from charles bronson

If we got back here and you're in my car is because you killed me I set up fulfillment. This car's gonna blow up in 20 seconds and as he's going the car blows up and the movie ends That's because he kills charles bronson in italy So it's the same thing. What are we talking about? I'm not exactly sure we know we were talking about how you Were thinking from a to z had a sabotage this guy's truck for taking both spots So i'm into this dog. So I said fuck this has to be a slow torture So number one i'm gonna start with just garbage. He parked it like december 23rd

So I knew he wasn't gonna come back till january 4th. Yeah, so I had to give him a surprise plus he had to take a surprise to go Okay, he needed to take a surprise to go So what I did was I fucking filled it up with Garbage first just started emptying the trash can. No, no, no because I don't want evidence There's receipts and shit. Okay. Okay. I would hit him with like a soda from a diet soda from A banana peel whenever I went to 7-11. I get a fucking A protein bar. I would throw the fucking wrap in the back of this car If I took my daughter to mcdonald's and she was a baby, I would throw the trash out

I put in the back seat later on that night. I throw in the trash That went for about 10 days. It was filled with trash So now I didn't know if he was coming back for new years. So I had to work my magic like on the 29th So I started just emptying out a litter. I would get home at 9 about one in the morning I would empty I had three cat litter to the box. I got three too. I got three cats filled with shit Then the moment the smell on that. Oh, I just kept putting them back there Putting them back there putting them back there So then I want I wanted to make sure

He's not coming back on the 30th when I saw he was still down on the 31st I took the guts out of the one tire the one on the inside So he has to figure out how to get a jack in there and really work it and they don't even know they have a flat Yeah, they don't know the inside tire. I take the gut. I take the gut out. Oh, okay I have that piece that takes the gut out. I know what you mean now the air goes Yeah, and you put that back in So they think they have a flat you just took the gut out and add it out So now I have to do a three-phrase prong

I want him to fix the flat and think he's good. He's out of it Now all he has to do is dump the fucking trash Uh-uh, I figured out how to open up his gas cap And I put like 20 little balls of saran wrap in there Like six inch saran wrap balls That means within a week once he got rid of the trash And once he fixed the bike the the tire

Now the car was going to start to stall But at weird times because once the air his truck was that old But it probably still had a carburetor or something So once once it gets warm in the car and the gas gets warm The cellophane expands so it starts covering spots. Oh, yeah So something's got to jam up one minute. You're on the 405 And all of a sudden your car stops You get hit by 10 cars and shit like this. This is how he holds this is how the old school

Who the fuck you think you're dealing with Who the fuck you think you're dealing with these are all the teachings of fred I can't say his last name. I got you fred used to feel that why hit somebody Hit somebody once so when you put maple syrup in somebody's gas cank Because maple syrup takes the gasoline and turns it into a fucking Nightmare so what happens is after about three days your car starts to stall

They take it to the fucking thing. They pull off the engine. They can't figure out why your car is stalling You know, whatever things about the maple syrup. No maple syrup and fucking saran wrap in your gas tank Within a week, you'll see him fucking with a broken arm. I don't know what happened. I was driving down the street like crystal Like in king pain where Ernie McCracken put sugar in yeah, you put sugar in your gas tank Yeah, that's where all that shit comes from You just seize up an engine. You just seize up the engine. It was so popular when I was growing up What was the craziest shit you threw in the trunk in in the back of the truck though The craziest thing I think I ever did one of the funniest

I am very fortunate like you george Fortunate in the sense that god took us off the street for a while and put us back on To show us what the reality is alive. You and I both know that we could have fell into the system Yeah, i'm been in there right now scratching with covid You ready to die if you're in prison right now, you're dead. Yeah, you might as well sign your obituary There's riots if you're in prison listening right now. You're dead. I'm sorry to tell you You shouldn't have stole the hose You should have killed the fucking witness. You're fucked up. You're dying. It's all over

You don't even need the electric chair. If you got a non-violent crime, you might get out There's always a way but if you got a violent crime, you're gonna sit there till your ass grows loose But You're telling me how we're lucky to be off the streets the craziest thing you do the craziest thing you did You put in someone's truck car for parking in the front in 1986 I got a job at a place that I fucking It was really hard

I was trying to get a second chance at life and this job was presented to me The problem was it was the opening scale of the job and it was probably basically working for free I enjoyed the job so much. I was a shagger at a body shop And I enjoyed the job because eventually You graduated into becoming a detailer and you went from working 60 hours And getting 200 a week for 60 hours. Oh my god to working 60 hours and making 1500 a week Oh, that was a reality in 1987 86 in my world. How much is what's that equivalence to what is now? Oh my god, that's mad money, right? Yeah, that's like rent everything. Yeah, that was these guys with detailing

new cars I forget what they were getting and there were a piece of cake you could do 10 of those in a day They were getting like $50 For those and all you got to do is take the cosmoline off Which is the chemical they put on the on the car when I was on the ship a protective coating Yeah, and exactly water won't get it Put the mats in Put the mats in it

Put the windshield wipers on It's not more of a wash. It's more of a prep. Mm-hmm. So that's all it was it took you an hour 45 minutes Once you you knew how to do it. You just I would do two at a time like I did at I'll put two in Spray them both. It's both the same time that the chemical has to To stay on there to break the cosmoline And I would just wait hose them down dry them up Put the windshield wipers on take the mats out of the back seat

Sometimes you had to put the rim coverings. Yep. I know the tires put armor on the wheels Put some armor all around the fucking thing and dope it up. Boom I could do 10 of those a day Use cars with two and a half hours Why because they take time they use cars. You're gonna get a q-tip. Oh, yeah I got you now and back. Yeah with the armor on and do the windows The q-tip but all those motherfuckers I was getting in there six in the morning the q-tips for the ac Yeah for the ac and the fucking thing. I know all that shit

I could detail a car one one 40 and we would split it 50 50 or something like that it was great money and and That's where I met the dude that I kidnapped bella with He was that he installed stereos and speakers there. He was the an idiot in the back, but The point of the story was when I got the job that you would get promoted to be a Detailer depending on how hard you work. I ate those other shaggers alive Yeah, like I ate them alive. That's who you're called a shagger I ate them alive. They couldn't even walk, you know, you had to be there at seven

I was there at six and I was snorting coke that yeah It's I was gonna say not a lot of coke because I was flat broke But I had nowhere else to do with nothing to be I was there at six you were working I was getting that I was getting that job and my girlfriend would pick me up at fucking six o'clock The only thing enjoyable about that job was the burrito lady She came at ten o'clock and she made these green chili with mashed potato burritos breakfast I missed that shit with eggs wrapped in aluminum foil. They were this big I'd buy like eight of those motherfuckers She had me on the credit program where you buy on Friday

And then there was a team. There was the Baltimore Colts were then and their father there was the There were two brothers that played for the Baltimore coach kevin call And another guy car one one of them was a badass He was an offensive lineman that had a cover like the dude against the jets The and back in the 80s all those defensive linemen this guy fucking covered kevin call his father had the roach coach So I would buy I would sell the father stolen cigarettes I had a place that I could steal cartons of cigarettes from and I would go in there and take like 10 carts of cigarettes

Give it to mr. Call. He would give me credit They're more expensive in the east coast too, right cigarettes. No, this is colorado. Oh, okay. This is colorado, gee Oh, shit. So I was selling them to mr. Call, but Let's get to the basics of this this place where I worked at I finally got promoted and I finally became a detailer And once I became a detailer, I put the same passion into detailing Into being a show up detailer because I had never made this type of money before let's go slinging coke Money makes you I went in there to fucking work jack

I kept that job for like seven months six months And I fucking was there at all times Fucking that was became my life It got me closed like I was the whole you've been the whole yeah, and you're like if there's a time to work It's now exactly. I'm not doing anything else with my life So I just went down and I started picking up those 1500 checks And I was getting fucking, you know, I was getting flush again. How old were you? It was 1987 so I was 24 years. It was

86 so you was like flits. I mean fit slim Yes, 86 like how was your dress back then Joey like jeans okay white sneakers nothing has changed From the white it was probably white commerce jeans White t-shirt gold chain No leather in colorado. No, why not? You would scare white people Because yeah, what's the reason that's east coast shit. Oh It's too much to wear leather. Yeah, you just stuck out like a sore thumb. I remember when I moved to LA

You know many people I scare with that leather jacket. No west coast people they can't handle it I used to wear a leather jacket. I remember I used to go to news radio shootings When Joe Rogan was on news radio, okay, and Joe Rogan would come up to me later on and go dog You're scaring these white people I go, how do you know and he goes because they're talking about it. Who's that scary guy with the leather jacket on? It scares white people once you're out of once you're west of the mississippi. You gotta lose the fucking leather jacket. Yeah, what a trip Yeah, it scares white people It gives them like, you know, it's not something how many people you see with leather jackets

And if they do wear leather jackets, they're kind of stylish in Los Angeles. Yeah, yeah, exactly But this fucking place after like three months Like when I first got in as a detailer I was I wasn't really one of them. They were shitting on me because I was a shacker Like an apprentice kind of yeah, but now when I was one of them, they would still bust my balls They would still bust my balls from time to time and now I had a different boss And the guy in counter was this guy called Dirk Johnson or Dirk Jordan

Dirk Johnson And he had his own crew So there was eight detailers But five of them were in his crew Oh, there's like click. Yeah, it was a click. They would always get the premium cars Yeah And the other three dudes would get whatever the fuck we got when we got it. That's why I started going with six So yeah to get the early to get an early start

So I would get there and pull two new ones to guarantee my first hundred for the day So by the time he got in I'd already made a hundred bucks Okay, I was I already was at 500 for the week and I had overtime there. There was overtime there So it was just so weird that I was a cocaine dude not every night then because I didn't have the money And I knew I had gotten a second chance and I had to pay a bunch of bills off So I was such a hard work of that

That they kind of got mad at me George I know what you mean like the other guys looked out at me making me look bad really dog You're gonna come in at six, you know, what the fuck you can't come in at seven And then they got mad because I was coming in at six and picking up the juicy stuff Well, the place opens at four beat me out. Yeah beat me out, bitch get here in five People got places to go nobody did that shit. So they kept complaining to Dirk Jordan Dirk Johnson, whatever his name was

And now Dirk started writing me, but I had a friend in the partner The owner of that place Turned into a friend and the guy that was in charge of service turned into a friend So I went to them and I'm like this guy's riding me Get him off me because the one guy was from new york I said get him off me because I'm gonna knock him the fuck out. Yeah This guy's confused and every morning Dirk would go the next time you come here before me And get off authorization

This is a nice one that I just grabbed my go stay right there I wanted a back and I got the whole night go come here for a second. You know, it's like what's going on, Joe You go tell him what you just told me Tell him and he's like Well, it's that he comes here at six he goes. Hey, why come from the early bird gets the worm? Sorry, so Dirk I had egg on his face So now Dirk would let me steal those two cars in the morning and then he would give me cars from like 1952 To make me put them back to life. So I have to spend the next hour there

So I got hip to him So then him and like two other little white dudes would make little remarks in me from time to time You know I'm saying I knew who my friends were there. What would they say like your armor all sucks What you didn't uh, they would say something to me what you're not staying late tonight Oh, I got you and I would my girlfriend would make me lunch in those days and I would eat lunch at 12 I would eat at five I could live off a breakfast burrito straight up because I would buy like two or three breakfast burritos And I would be eating them while I worked. I didn't want to take a lunch. Who know they would take an hour lunch

Fuck that work through my lunch and then at five I would eat lunch and they would make little remarks to me, but I had already made 300 for the day Once I ate once I made 300 then you eat But until you made 300 there ain't no week. That was a discipline in my head That was it and that was even when I was fucked up. I wasn't that fucked up. Don't ever get me wrong Well, you're a hustler. I was still a hustler So this dude kept riding me one day. So one now went in there five in the morning. What do I see? I see a dead rat On the floor he got caught by a trap

And I hate motherfucking dead rats I said, oh fuck I got an idea I took the whole trap Against my best wishes. I got like a glove and a towel And I carry that motherfucker and I hit him behind the garbage And the dude came in his name was dirk whatever Dirk jordan dirk johnson. I don't know what he's talking about

Whatever his fucking name is He's fucking hearing aids Make my ears itchy as fuck. You know that? Yeah, I can tell that's all good, brother. You got those and a half phones That's itchy. Oh my god so So the mouse the rats behind the trash this fucking rat had to be five inches And the click had caught him like in half. So he was halfway in and you could see his teeth and shit Ah

Fuck how am I gonna do this? So I hit him behind the garbage can And this fucking dude dirk came in with his two little captains and they made whatever remarks they wanted to And he hung his jacket up like I had the rat Hitting over here and he hung his jacket up right over there And I'm like dog. This guy. I don't know It's a little by little. I got the courage up I put my foot down on the trap And I picked up the fucking thing and he was dead

Yeah, so I kicked him out of the trap and the rat fell so now I had to get like a paper towel And at lunchtime when nobody was watching I took the rat by the tail and I put it in his jacket pocket Oh, shit, and I covered the jacket pocket And I kept working at five o'clock. I took my lunch and shit and then I fucking That night my girlfriend picked me up at the time and I went home and I forgot all about dirk The next morning I go in at six, you know me. I get my two new cars I'm trying to make my house a lot

And all of a sudden I hear a car. We're working It's on the body shop is on. Yeah, you sweating shit's moving People are fucking getting work orders people are dropping off cars Toe trucks are pulling up the burrito ladies there And all of a sudden dirk jordan fucking pulls up and his car is all dented Like he had an accident here, right? Like the thing was all fucked up. You can hear me going He walked in furious like okay, who the fuck did this? He goes I went to reach in my pocket for a cigarette. I took out a rat

I crashed my car And you know me dawg, I just sat there just Married on my little car Laughing inside And he knew he was me And him and his boys are gonna try to get me, but it was too late I had already been transferred to bill crowd Subaru as a fucking salesman. So suck my dick and call me shorty I was born in 1940. You know what I'm saying? Oh shit. That was good

Hey speaking of mouses and rats you got cats And and my cats are inside cats and like they go outside now to say like to let the other cats know What's up, bitch? We live here too. This is our our area But lately these fuckers have been like killing gophers and mice And like bringing them to my window like just to show me like what's up? What's up? This morning one of the gophers outsmarted these motherfuckers. He He played the best dad I've ever seen Joey Like like he had one arm here the tail like the cats took his tail off

But Like they tested them like I was tripping out so George you can't let your cats They get out on their own you can't let them out now, especially It's with this home of bat and you're done Hey I went to move the golfer to check out if it was like really like because like I could see it was like Yo, dawg this fool was like holding his breath in like he he was Waiting for to for a move. Now. I had to cap by this tailor

Because they're crazy. I didn't make a move the golfer That's how I didn't see him get his tail bit off But the tail was not there and it was laying next to him And like he was playing dead because my cat was trying to play with it Once I go baby my cat's name is baby. It was baby and rick james. They they terrorized these things If I was like come here and like I shook their food and they walked over there that fool jumped up dawg I swear grabbed his jail And that fool took off witted the dirt and I was like, oh my god

Cats are fucking scary. Yeah, you can't let your cat out now. No, George. They get out on their own. Yeah, I don't give a fuck You know what? Put them in fucking canary island jam. They won't get out Can you imagine if how lucky are we that we're not locked up now, George? What a different time period is it's great. That's great. You know what? Speaking of locked up in your shirt, you know what that sweater that reminds me of and I just seen the show And I wanted to ask you about it because I don't think I was old enough but The wayco shooting. Have you seen that on netflix? No, I know, you know

You you you lived it This week is two anniversaries that are big for me today is the anniversary of the 40 anniversary of the mario harbour When kuba opened up, you know, it's today when my mom died. She was six months away If she was my mom would have lasted six months My mom would have picked up her daughter in kuba Wow, that was the planer

They didn't know they didn't know All that disruption was going on fidel took over right fidel had taken over he had had the island since fucking 1959 But then he said everybody what happened was There was little that kuba was going through hard economic times The russians had pulled out the cubans were out of money People were starving so people started invading Little embassies and They would get thrown back into the society and they would get shot

And the embassies finally took notice that this is fucking crazy So they said anybody who wants to leave kuba Show up here and send them one fucking two thousand people showed up and kicked the gates down They went to war for a couple days with the kuban army. They had to get like the The security from the embassy had to go to war with the cuban police. This is crazy So this went on so finally But the disruptions were starting already when my mother was still alive Like you were hearing disruptions. Yeah, already they were trying to they were really trying to get the black male out

That america was bad And meanwhile we'll fucking start like whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, wait a second Like I just got six eggs for my family for the months And how is america bad? Real talk and then they started saying so send us money So if you sent your family 500 bucks The cuban government would only give you 125 dollars The rest of the cuban government would take so all that unrest started when my mother was alive

I remember hearing all about it's so weird. Didn't he take sheila easton's house too or something like that? sell your cruise sell your fucking sheila easton my bad Sheila easton is from fucking san francisco somewhere Silly but that was all 59. Okay. This is we're talking about 75 now. Okay. Once russia realized that What what's the only thing cuba can't do nothing for you except give you sugar. Yeah, they're not gonna bust a grape That's it. They got no money. So Russians pulled out with financing things one a sour That's why fit down how to go into the narco

traffic hunting business Okay, and all these shows That they put about narco. They throw the cia under the They throw everybody under nobody has thrown fiddle yet. You're so right until the show goes fiddle under That's when i'm paying attention because that's when you did your homework You know once cuba was broke cuba went to the columbians and said hey you want a new route you want a new route and how far is cuba from miami now that's that's how many 90 miles

They were shipping the tons into cuba And then they were breaking it up into Delivery so it was like one on the hour. It looks like sugar already So it was like a million kilos were coming in and then they were going on on 10 different boats With a million Kilo on each boat. Wow boats got in Seven boats out of whatever got it. That's that's great seven out of ten Seven out of ten. So for del was making money. I think for del was making 800,000 a ship

Fuck because years later when carlos laid there testified to reduce his sentencing He mentioned it. He spoke about he goes. I remember giving him envelopes To his face 800,000 a ship. That's what he negotiated I'll send 10 ships out a day if 10 get in I get eight million If six get in they get 4.2 million, you know, he just knew How to wrangle it in they've never mentioned that That's why I'll tell you about how the government in mexico knew about the

The the sinaloans how they were in the president of mexico or coaster They'll tell you all that stuff. They'll tell you how Whoever shot president kennedy, but they still won't release The castro communism. Do you think it's because america was kind of in on it? Like the people here listen, they were that we found that we went on there and ran contra stand We were trading weapons for drugs and cash weren't we with the sandanistas? I don't Yeah, if you watch narcos all that shit is true. Oh, yeah, you're right. Yeah, all that shit is true

Then what's the guy the white dude went in front of congress? And he got thrown under the bus For giving the cia. I don't know. I don't know the whole fucking breakdown of everything. I'm just telling you that, you know These are the realities that you find out later on that they tell you So who the fuck knows what else are you gonna do for 420? What do you got cooking tonight? I'm monday night. Well, you know I'm so we got no show. We got nothing I'm doing your podcast monday morning and then tonight. What are you doing? Yeah, it's monday morning now Yeah, I'm gonna I got my own podcast going on

I got like about four or five people that live in my house And we all before we podcast we all take that fucking shower We do a lysol inspection on each other boil local wipes to the hands Clean the table up with the clothes cleaning supplies from work And we're gonna have a little 420 podcast, you know what I mean? Okay I am thinking about because there's a stripper that works with me And she's just like y'all bad. That's six people. So they're gonna get shut down You're gonna get a little kick. We'll kick side dick eddy out

And you know listen guys, I'm gonna be honest with you Uh, I got a lot of fucking people pissed off at me. They were pissed you know Why because you were coughing and they didn't know what the fuck was going on and uh, they were concerned So I thought about stopping the podcast for a while And uh, and then I figured what good would I do At the time that you need, you know comedy and humor and just a little fucking inspiration What a time to close this I decided to do everything but

Lee can't do dick, which he won't do. He's been on quarantine for two years And you know, I Put I put the guests on that, you know, I think a pretty clean. So I don't want to get you infected I don't want to get infected and I want it, but I always wanted to put content that I don't care if I got to come here and put a ukulele by myself Once a week for an hour straight up I will come here and give you some type of content to think about to take your mind off What's going on right now straight up. It's 420 again. We can't even smoke a joint like human beings because

Uh, this is the future now. It's all edible. Thank god. I ate my edibles. How'd that edible hit you, Lee? Chicken party good. He had the mask over his eyes. Oh, yeah, he's a beauty. This is the real deal How we feel. Hey, does he look like a weird ninja? I do He feels like a weird ninja. He's had a rough couple weeks, dog The other day I gave him garlic pills. I gave him edibles He thought he was down for one day. He had been down for a day and a half Yeah, that's how bad it was. Yeah. Have you ever had cilantro pills? I thought I'll give him next Garlic pills almost fucking killed him. It cleaned out his system. He took you really like take so many shits

It like threw in the morning. You have to take a shower. Yeah, I did that twice too. That's the world because of those pills That's what that's how good the garlic is. Oh my god. I do that every fucking day twice a day You ever had especially now during this quarantine. You can't do shit No, this is what's gonna build your fucking. Yeah, but you're mine on a toilet paper Who gives a fuck Lee this morning on the paper? Won't you rather be healthy? Don't worry about fucking toilet paper. That's why you got a fucking bidet. Don't you? The fuck is wrong with you? That stuff is too strong for the bidet. Yeah, you know, you're strong Your asshole whiff

I can't imagine what your asshole must smell like with the hummus and the mcdonalds And the old shit you got stuck up there It's like a grand but like if somebody gets a toy like right now, they catch you on the street Past eight o'clock. You should be sentenced to a week of sniffing Lee's ass To take away the corona and to fucking make you check You know what? I'm listening a month. Thank god for that. It smells like the back of that truck George Perez, I'm happy you came out. Thank you, brother. I'm happy I'm for 20 and shit. Hey, you're going through shit. We're all going through shit

We're gonna make the best of it because that's what the fuck we do here on the church Even with a fucking mask on The last time I wore a mask, you don't know what we want to know what I was doing. You know what I'm saying? Last time I had a mask on, you don't want to know what the fuck I was doing But this is the new norm. I don't want to do that fucking zoom shit where you know, I gotta pop my head up I mean, you know, so we try we try to take clean. We leave the door open. We sanitize You know me. I fucking don't go nowhere Without my fucking let me get that little cap Lee and tell me your foot there

Hey, halloween's gonna be easy now though with we got a lot of practice with masks Who gives a fuck about halloween? We gotta make it to halloween, brother. We gotta make it to the fourth of july Don't worry about halloween right now. Look at this full basket Right there, you see I can't get there right now. You can't get there right now. I'll get it. No, I'll get I'll get I get You're in no danger getting that George prez. I would promote your dates, but we got not got no day Hopefully june 4th to the 6th. Don't let us do brand and you're there with me

I'm happy you took the time on 420 and don't forget to go to my instagram To watch my little segment for weed maps. They hooked me up weed maps.com They'll tell you where it's at deliveries information strains ratings They are fucking tremendous and remember listen Just because corona's got you sitting down And stressed out don't mean you can't have any fun

If you don't have somebody who could you you could run over their cones Then you got to make your own fun. Thank god My bookie dot ag slash joey Has some fucking bets for you like this week this thursday Is the nfl draft Then I'm waiting for nobody bet the over and under on who gets in and this just in if you miss the ufc Now you can watch ufc 3 Simulated games and bet on all the lines

They also got mba 2k nfl games on madden FIFA soccer and ncAA brackets And they got lines on soccer From all over the fucking world What's his name? edwards edwards must be fucking happy belarus taiwan nicaragua These fucks don't stop here

If playing casino is more your thing they got fucking card games with a live human dealer and You get to play against other live Human dealers not computers. They also got slot games poker roulette Baccarat and more You don't have to wait until wuhan freezes over to bet on sports again We got we'll be supporting the church while also getting in The only action available. They also got a death pool. Listen, my bookie's at least being creative

Go to my bookie dot a g right now slash joey They're giving you 50% off your initial deposit with in bonus funds. This means that if you deposit a thousand They give you an extra 500. What are you gonna do with that $1200 stimulus check? You're gonna sit there and wait for what for two fucking dudes to knock on your door and take it from you Go to my bookie right now More money in your pocket you can play with and more opportunities to win open up your browser punch in My bookie dot a g Slash joey and get ready to make some real fuck. It's got all here, right?

Who the fuck is better than you? Nobody head to my bookie dot com right now slash ag Slash joey for 50 percent bonus my bookie dot a g Slash joey, all right. Go play some fucking blackjack and leave your wife alone. It's got enough living with you and don't forget To keep everything tic tac magoo. You got cbd lion. I swear by them I love it every day after I take a shower Before I put my fucking me undies on I rub them into my legs my feet Everything feels better my skin feels better. I don't have that fucking old man alligator skin no more

And help with my hamstring. They got the gummy bears. They got the tincture They got the the the shit you smoke. They got the vapors However, you want cbd cbd lion has a fear go to cdbd lion dot com right now. Look at that third party lab results They're not fucking around. All right. I appreciate you guys Taking the time and supporting the podcast. Thank you, george perez. Don't forget your podcast is called george perez stories On fucking itunes anything with a church. What's happening now? We got fucking YouTube itunes

And There you go. So you can listen to this on spotify And all I can do is wish you a happy 420 Don't forget to get high as fuck And don't forget to be humbled and thank you And uh, thankful we're still alive. You still got your help and prayers out to everybody who uh Is suffering and also A fucking big hug to all the motherfuckers out there in the front line

From the supermarkets to the hospital to the nurses. Thank you for what you do with the church. Appreciate you I love you guys. I'll see you Wednesday morning. Kick this motherfucking meal. Lee You