Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #784 - Childhood Memories with Dennis Colangelo

Episode Date: May 6, 2020

Joey Diaz and Lee talk about life and Joey tells a great story about his daughter persevering. Joey sits down with lifelong friend, Dennis Colangelo, to talk about school was like for them, the mischief they got into, and much more that can't be written here.  This podcast is brought to you by: Blue Chew - Go to BlueChew.com/church and get your first shipment for FREE! Pay only $5 for shipping.   Stamps.com -  Use code JOEY for a 4 week trial which includes postage and a digital scale. Go to Stamps.com, click on the Radio Microphone at the top of the homepage and type in church. Express VPN - Get 3 months free at www.expressvpn.com/church  

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Press in church. The church is also brought to you by Express vpn right now. You should be protecting your privacy and security. These motherfuckers are home off day Trying to figure out your social where you're born Who you're from if you hang out with chinese people? Listen If you're into chinese and email or you watch spirited away on netflix in japan, it's easy to use Even for a guy like me just open the app change the location and that's it. I just got it. I love it It's tremendous. My wife fucking loves it. The reason I use express vpn It's it's fast no buffering or lag right now today

The church could go to express vpn dot com slash church again express vpn dot com Slash church to get three months from free for free free, bitch support the podcast Support yourself. Don't let nobody mess with you. Go to express vpn dot com slash church Kick this motherfucking mule Welcome to church mother Uncle joey here Fucking saying hello. What's going on checking in with you. It was a boring single to my audience You know, mexicans getting pulled over nothing. What a fucking boring single to my oh, I thought the mexicans

We're gonna say fuck the corona virus. We're going fucking crazy here. No, no, no Mexicans won the control yesterday, which is good Who gives a fuck? It's okay. You had a margarita at home You kicked the dog the chihuahua because you know not on a ton of them got your why was Or paula had a pug because she's like an extreme mexican You know just in case you got to eat the fucking thing. It's less cutting But the whole thing anyway who wants to get into that happy single to my of your mexican I'm sorry that you fucking missed it this year

Because Mexicans don't give a fuck they they do sinker tomorrow. It's like 420. Oh, they had fun. They just were inside I do 420 every fucking day. You know what I'm saying? I don't need to celebrate 420 Mexicans live hard every day george pares They'll bump into three margaritas on the way to get eggs. You know what I'm saying? That's just the way things are White people they love sinker tomorrow. Oh my god. They're just a fucking great day. Go fuck yourself That's good. You're in the house minding your business. There's little chicks that pussies are drying up even whores having a bad time right now It's bad to be a whore or burglar. It's just bad

Things are bad, but they it ain't that bad uncle joey's here cock sucker without the face mask You know what? Let me tell you something. I watched ryan sickler's fucking podcast today with the face mask I'm happy. I don't have to worry no more that we're doing this zoom because I'll tell you what just looking at the face mask What you're looking at to get entertained? You're reminded because this fucking guy's got a face mask on but anyway talk this cheap bitches Let's spark up a little number here get the party started A little triple extra my urban fucking trees and studio city. It's like 30 killing motherfuckers Two days ago me and lee ate. I'll tell you I'm not even getting like I'm the edibles no more

It's amazing to me. It's a shame me and lee saw me. I dropped 300 right in front of them I went home and nothing happened. I didn't drop another hundred. I felt guilty why You feel guilty for eating edibles now? You mean that many animals? Yeah, it's just it's just it's not they're not working no more I got to go to extreme measures and just like I've been doing just fucking winging it. I've been winging it lately I won't I didn't do edibles for like 10 fucking days After I had my little fucking

Breakdown, I didn't have edibles and and then Last couple days, let me make a slip of tube here. They don't do nothing no more. It's over the quarantine killed my tolerance You know I I'm moving on to bigger and better things. I gotta go deep deep deeper I'm in right now in negotiations to bring some heroin over from the golden triangle as we speak some pure number two White part of my call me back. You know, I'm saying she had COVID-19. She was fucked up there for a while too You know chinese people suffer too. It's not just us White part of speaking of getting fucked up though. I haven't been able I haven't seen it yet But I heard that dunking show with you is amazing. It's the best show you got to take drugs

If you don't take drugs don't watch that fucking show if you don't smoke weed or you're silly or something Don't watch that show because my wife tried to watch the show most out of heart And I'm right there in the beginning opening episode Weed weed weed yelling. Yeah dunking did a great job. I'm very proud of dunking if netflix doesn't I guarantee netflix put a second Ordering but that's the mind of dunking troughs. That takes time That's not gonna come up like the thinking shoot a special over 11 months. Good luck. That takes time. So Uh dunking did a great job I'm very proud that he fucking contacted me to go in there and do some of the voices

It helped me out a little bit and uh Watch it. What's the name of it again? Oh, let me put people there. It's like something midnight Midnight midnight midnight something fuck when put portable this shit's cut fucking killing my memory Anyway, but having a great time lately. Listen. I told you guys I know a lot of you guys are having a hard time financially the midnight gospel. Sorry midnight gospel mentally Spiritually listen. We're halfway there. We're not the same people we were seven fucking weeks ago That's for damn sure and I know your mind's been drooling Or thinking of different things to do or different opportunities or what you're gonna do with your life

Or if you even want to be in that career anymore, trust me. I'm going through the same possibility You know, you just sit at home, you know, I don't mind there's a devil's workshop So I understand what you're going through but listen. You've been through the toughest spot right now You've been through the beginning of it. So don't worry about it. You've already know what it is to go to bed hungry You know, you know what you went through all of this So now you know where you stand. This has made you tougher. You're not the same person you were going into this That you are now you're a different person now Do I know because I'm a different person who I was seven weeks ago

My thinking now I looked at the simpler things, you know, some chick at the fucking park I went bike riding and I know some chick and I went to Pull the bike off and walk And she goes, you know, what I do to have a pool And I was thinking of my last week how me and my daughter and my wife had a blast with a hose In the front of the house We giggled like fucking assholes. I wasn't even high I'm giggling because I'm tickling my daughter. I'm tickling my wife

With a hose like a fucking broke Puerto Rican It's the simpler things that you that times like this makes you appreciate, you know, it's not the fucking swimming pool It's not nothing. This is to making you go back to be creative with yourself You're sick of Netflix if you're a normal human being right now You've already seen every documentary on Netflix. You watch joe the tiger two times to make sure the story was right You watch everything in chinese, french, you're sick of HBO. You're sick of things because now now you have to be with yourself Now you have to be with yourself So the only thing you can do is put your thoughts on paper because thoughts are going in and out of your fucking mind at the speed of goddamn light

Is is that Like what kind of thoughts are you having? Just thoughts of what you want to do with your life. This has to This has to wake some people up. Some people have looked at this and said I'm broke I got nothing coming in. This is never going to happen to me like this again I'm in a hospital You know, I've been in here for five fucking days. I almost died. This is never happening to me again You know carelessness

Not thinking things out All these things are going to come to light during this fucking period. That's why I'm happy I don't know where the face mask anymore Because when you watch me at least if I say you as soon as you see me with the face man She's like, uh, he's got a face mask on the reason why I'm watching him Is so I don't have to see a fucking motherfucker with a face mask on so now I feel better than I'm doing all these zoom podcasts They're all part of what do I call them? I don't know stories from my childhood stories You know, I got a guy coming on today. Dennis Colangelo. Dear friend of mine. I got my brother doing two episodes

I got one of my criminal buddies calling in. I'm gonna get I got one of my bookmaking buddies from when I was Six and seven and eight that I used to run numbers with is gonna call in to tell you some fucking stories Uh, yeah, I'm doing it this way. So I hope you like what I'm doing now I know a lot of you people want to laugh or a real guest good luck Try to get one you can't even get your girlfriend to come over to suck your dick And you imagine trying to get a guest in these fucking times I call people to hang up on me because it thinks like I'm gonna ask them. I'm just trying to check in with you So I stopped calling people. Really? Yeah, because they all think you call them for fuck gas

That's crazy. I I would have think like it's It's a it's a Creative thing. I would have thought people would have been more listen. You know what? It's not creative to die. That's true. Okay. So when they're telling you something that you're gonna die A lot of people don't want to come in a little space and I don't blame them. I wouldn't come into this fucking space So we had to get creative. You know, we have to change with the times And this is what it is either. I could get stuck here sitting here with a mask You know what it's like to do a fuck I would go home and my fucking tongue was brown like a fucking monkey

You ever go to the zoo from fucking talking with a face mask on so forget all that shit that shit's done with So what I'm trying to say is we're different people. We've accepted it You know, I don't know if you gotta check if you didn't get a check You know, some people got it. We don't know what's going on. Nobody knows what's going on The only thing we know is that we're here to have a fucking good time Smoke a little reef and forget about who the fuck we are for now. That's all I could tell you And I'm learning shit along the way. I mean listen, man In seven or eight weeks my daughter learned how to ride a bike

Yesterday she fell twice not once but twice and I loved it. Was she going too fast? One time she was running with the bike and she went to jump on and she just fell on top of it Cut a little leg open. No big deal. I toughened her up when she got up and got back on the bike I applauded her And then she was going around the fucking park the long way and she took a dive And a little girl came over and said your daughter fell so I ran over there with my wife I almost had a heart attack with the face mask on She was bleeding from her knee in her elbow

Bro, I got her up She limped over to the fucking thing and after 10 minutes she got back on the fucking bike I didn't say nothing to her. We got home and you know, we work on the star merit system So she needed 20 stars to stay up till 10 So she was at like 17 She was supposed to hit the mitts yesterday for three, but I didn't have time yesterday. We were running around so much So when she got off the bike and she fell and then she got back on again, that's something my daughter doesn't do Once my daughter she's got a problem that I had once you're bad at something. She won't try to conquer it

But she was just gonna stay there. She was gonna stand there like one of Jerry's kids and she was gonna tolerate that So she got back on the bicycle. I didn't say nothing to her till we got home And I gave her like five minutes that my wife cleaned her up to blood And she thought, you know, it's amazing the mind of children. I came on I said mercy Diaz And she looked at me and then you could see she was about to have a breakdown because she thought she had fucked up I go, I smell something in the air because that's how I say it Either I smell a star or I smell a fart, you know what I'm saying? So I smell something you smell that and she goes a star I go three stars and she went nuts. She was

She came up she hugged me. She goes you scared me for a minute dad. I go three stars You got back on your bicycle today. You're a fucking savage. I didn't say fucking I just called her a savage stuff her face was red. She was high five with her mother and shit She was walking around like a fucking savage like let me do something So I hung out with her last night. I let us stay up till 10. Oh snap And then I went to check on like 10 20 and she looked me straight in the face. She goes dad I made it to 10 20. How's that? I'm like, you little dirty bitch. You always get me. Anyway, I'm into this

This is a childhood friend of mine. This guy, uh, the guys I'm putting on here the next couple weeks are going to be guys that Did for me Did something for me that a lot of people don't do for people they were there for me and my mother died I hope you enjoyed steve of illo steve of illo came to my mother's wake steve of illo came to my mother's mass I don't know if he came to the cemetery. I don't think I let a lot of people go I didn't want my friends to see me in bad shape steve of illo's mother if I could ask me ask me if I wanted to live with them

So I hope you enjoyed steve of illo. He's still to this day a dear friend of mine We speak every week. We laugh our asses off And uh, I'm opening you up to these people so you can see what my life was about and why I got my influences from I hope you enjoyed Dennis Clangelo today Take a look hit it Lee You look shaving you look beautiful It's a beautiful day in new jersey. I heard huh? Yes, it is. Yes, it is soon. We'll be getting hit with that Look in august humidity

So we only have you know joey may And june and then you sweat your ass off half of june and then it's all over And it's over then it's over. You can't go out. You know You got to go out boil snake and either one I just was listening to led zeppelin whole lot of love by prince Prince I see you you put that up I didn't even I didn't even know about that. Jesus christ

Tremendous just tremendous add to complete different element to it He was a great great musician He really was Bro hours hours the guy was just fucking brilliant, you know, yes, he was brilliant I caught him back in the day in new york city Did you really yeah in 85 84? I caught him back in new york city 84 So I lucked out for 15 bucks At the garden at the no at one of the clubs me and lebrano went to one of the clubs and wow

It was uh, whatever Uh prince nucleus and sheila e To 15 bucks on the fucking tuesday night Shit, you can't go wrong. You can't fucking beat that. Here's a little guy. Amy. Wasn't he a little guy? Yeah, yeah, like like four eleven No, no, no, no, no. He was like five six five eight. Yeah The rest Oh, let me ask you a question. Yeah last time I saw you was 1983 before rascals

I thought was the last time I saw you I looked for you. I asked about you. I came back in 91 And for a week or so and then I came back for nine months in 93 And they told me you were living in new work or something like that. Nobody had had them tell me hollow way Years later found you he was the one that gave me a calendula report I I seen hollow way at veneers Okay, there was a wake

My wife's uncle passed and hollow way and all those guys edla They played uh baseball For my wife's cousin's uncle, you know, he was a coach in norbergen Uh, so like they were all there. I haven't seen hollow way. I know I haven't seen edla joey. I haven't seen anyone You don't see anybody Nobody I went I went missing in action for a while Got got hooked up with some wrong people like probably

Like an 80 I even split away not 80 maybe 82 split away from kevin tenor Last time I seen him I borrowed 20 bucks to go to Harlem to get a package And like for a while there I was doing some shit that you know, you never should ever ever do and uh You know what I did actually joey

I went back my parents were living up on uh, 59th by the senior citizen building in norbergen And I went home and I told him I said look I need a place to stay I haven't I'm just and like my parents didn't know nothing about anything nothing about You know drugs not they didn't even drink, you know And I said I just need a place to lay down. I gotta get I got some problems And my father looked at me and he knew something was wrong. I stayed there and I dried out I got hooked on the bullshit with the needle

I cleared up in about two weeks. I went to see vini-askelis Because now I got where am I going? Um, you know, I'm lost I went up to see him and it was like I never left. I told him the deal. I told him I got problems I need a job. I need something. Oh bet bet bet I stayed in his office joey three days straight He was trying to get in touch with old high school friend that is And he hooked me up, uh

Finally hooked me up with this guy. He owned a trucking company Guy took me under his wing After a few weeks he moved me into his house with his family And taught me to truck in the street And you know and that was it I mean, but I was out of touch with everybody for a while. I just went off the rails And not that like don't get me wrong. I've been no angel. You know what I'm saying? I've been no way. I still you know go to sleep quarter five in the morning

Get up at five 10 and go to work the 12 hours. You know what I'm saying? but that other shit will just Uh It's just it's just that was a bad bad bad time But because you you you don't want to ever see your friends You know you're embarrassed

You know really embarrassed. It's you know But anyway, you know Things are good sun is shining Happy healthy, you know life is good brother Let me ask you this Yes, how did how did growing up in north bergen help us? How come it was so fucking crazy? Why is it that? When you're at the shows and I tell stories of how we grew up

People lose their fucking minds like it seems to people that were from mars like when I tell my stories About growing up people think about mark. I didn't meet you till 78 Right, okay, and you were were you with emerson at that point? No, I was in north bergen In 78 I met you be I met you before that because you were at mckinley. Didn't you play basketball from mckinley? Yes, you had the red gym shorts with the gold shirt and you wrote your number with a marker. Yeah You just had bad uniforms and we had the ref with the fucking glass eye

Packed up a toro. Yes, the balsanos so he wouldn't call power but I still remember fucking Going down to kennedy school winter of 78 When it snowed a fun that winter and me and whitey Shoveled the courts. Yeah, and you came up there with dusty. There were some hitters chris morano I mean kennedy school just had some fucking hoops this. Yes. It had to be it snowed like two feet of snow We shoveled it. Yeah

The fucking sun was out, but it was still fucking 28 degrees The ball wouldn't even bounce Because it was so cold out And we would pass him so we were like playing full court and I still remember dusty Going for a layup and you went to block the shot But just smacked him by mistake and it was cold out. So the five singers Stayed on his face throughout the whole game and every time I looked at him. I couldn't even stop laughing But who the fuck would have shoveled the courts we shoveled the court the morning

We didn't we ever fuck. No, no, it was different. It was you know what joey and Like the people we grew up with like They had your back. I even when we were in school. We're in high school. We're going out to spark up grab a bite to eat like Everybody you were with you could trust they had your back Like if the teacher came up and we're getting about no, what are you guys doing? You're not supposed to be You know, we just looked like nobody would answer. He said I remember my freshman year. Maybe the second day of school

I'm downstairs where the wrestling room the pit was They used to practice wrestling down there. Yeah, I'm with alex. Garcia Now it's maybe the second third day of school. I'm a freshman. Don't know these guys from adam All I know is we're going to smoke a bomb We go down smoking smoking with with bullshit and we're smoking. We're in school. We're smoking up Tony Tavacino comes downstairs Garcia and whoever the other kid well, I don't even remember who he was

They were gone I froze like a you know, dear in that life. I froze Tavacino was going to kill me I want to know who these guys were back back back. Look, I said, what are you talking about? I said, I'm here by myself You don't lie to me. He said I'll beat the she don't teach us back then. Let's slap you around I'll beat the shit out of you. Nobody will know I said you could do whatever you want I said, I don't know nothing. I said, I don't know those guys

Like to me again, he said I'm gonna knock you out uh He takes me upstairs when we're walking down the hall and I was scared, you know, I was I was no shit I was scared. I was only third day school We're walking down the hall some Dalton comes walking the other way Tavacino keeps looking at me. Well, am I gonna get those names? I don't know what you're talking about. I said, whatever's gonna happen is gonna happen. I was alone He said you're going down. You're finished. You're out. You're out third day school. You're gone

whatever, you know We walked up to Dalton Dalton looks at him looks at me I looked at Tavacino goes, what the f are you doing here? I said what he said, what the fuck are you doing here? He said get out of my face I was gone. I said, thank you very much tabs The next class I had his brother for woodshop Ernie Ernie already found out I go downstairs Ernie calls me outside Dennis I heard you had to run in with my bro

Yeah, yeah He said, you know, he's not like me. He said I'm a nice guy. He said he really wanted to kick the shit out of you I said tabs I said we were doing what we were doing. I said, I'm not a rat I said, you know, I'm just I'm not a rat. It is what it is If that mean Garcia became really good friends like I knew him from nowhere And Tavacino respected me for it. I mean if I was going down two weeks suspension, whatever It is where we grew up Joey. You had each other's back all day long I don't understand it today. What happened to society? They turned out you like

I was living die for you motherfuckers when I was growing up Oh That's the only way you get in the group That was the only way to get in you had them. They had to know That you had their back a the fucking z You know, I I think the famous

Dennis clansel story from because My mother had just died and you were my entertainment You understand me. I knew I was going to school Like when I went to the homeroom and you weren't there I was depressed and we both had Tutora for home. Yes the old man And I had him in my pocket because he hit me and Anthony Balzano in the eighth grade So call mine beat him up

So he came to me freshman year and he goes, listen You don't even need if you don't want to come to the homeroom. Don't worry about Like I got you So I used to just go to homeroom to hang out with you. It was me you brined the gloomy Yeah, it was the d's and the c's so uh, we were in the bleachers next to me And I remember he would fucking ask you for a note Dennis you didn't come to school yesterday. We need a note and you'd go I whipped one up in a second And you would know what the fuck to do like they just didn't know what to do with us

No, we had no we had this teacher frank rich. He was a football coach The wedge yep the wedge and you couldn't call him wedge because He looked like a wedge. He looked like a fucking wedge of south And he was this sweetheart of a guy. Yeah, she was joe. He was three days from being retarded You and I both know that and we went there One day they put a band on us. You couldn't leave the high school. They were like you can't leave For lunch and we were like that's not happening So we found out that there wasn't no guards during the back door

on 76th street So you myself I think jimmy and divo went to fifth avenue deli Yeah, and we got meatball sandwiches And there's a there was like a loading dock next to it This is my all-time favorite and was sitting there and that was when truck was high weed was big And we're about to you you had it behind your ear In those days you would roll a joint and put it behind your ear and having it school with the joint behind your ear

And nobody would say nothing to you like no matter fucking word So you had the joint behind your ear. We we finished the sandwich we'll wipe on our hands and all sudden Fucking wedge walks up. He's like, hi guys. How you doing? for good wedge He's like, are you supposed to be outside the building or like You know, whatever we just wanted to get some fresh air and all of a sudden Out of the corner of my eye, I see you take the joint out from behind your ear

And you start playing like this and he's talking like Like about whatever like, you know, you know, it's a nice day Whatever and all of a sudden you're like wedge listen Cut it out. It was sparking We were running out of time. We had a spark and get back to class And you know, he's bullshitting You know, like we either spark or you get the fuck out of here He's just looked at you and just walked away

you know, we used to You played varsity Yes, and and I was a freshman And we used to practice in the back if Horace Mann wouldn't let us practice And I couldn't wait to get out of practice just to watch you Because you would just be goofing on people was you and Juan Rodriguez God bless his soul. Yeah, I'll be munez and all these guys

But there was this guy named Ralphie marino who used to drive you crazy. Well, I loved him to death Ralphie was in the wheelchair. He had he was a tremendous athlete Yes, and I still remember one day. We're like, Dennis, we're looking up after practice to smoke a joint. You're like, yeah I'm just going to take a shower or whatever so me and a bunch of guys are waiting there and Ralphie's yelling defense He's going back and forth in his wheelchair Defense defense

And I'll never forget you called the time out. You're like time out You know, like marino say one more word. I'm gonna put you in the closet lock the door And we fucking lost He didn't even know what to say like he didn't even know what to say like we you know Now, he knew I had problems. He knew I had problems. He knew we all had problems. You know, I had a But we were good. We were good people. We didn't like not to hurt anybody. We were just having fun You know, there's a difference You know, I mean like when I told him I put him in the closet that wasn't the first time I told him

You know, I used to take his little sippy cup there. He had with the straw Ralph you want something to drink? And he said yeah, Dennis said could you please I'm thirsty and I just take his cup and move it further away from You know, and he had his hands flat on that table there on his wheel Yeah, and he said that he said really he said he's gonna break my balls. I said Ralph. I said, you never shut the fuck up He said I'm in a wheelchair. I said, yeah shut up man. I asked you how many times It was different Joey you could do today you talk like that to somebody that lock you up You know, it's a different society

Like it's it's just we didn't mean like any kind of disrespect or we're saying anything bad We all love Ralph and Marina. I still love I did a better than years ago. Did you really? God bless you You know, we didn't it wasn't like I mean, you know, I love them You know, I used to get a lot of smiles out You know, but he he used to get annoying like he said defense defense. Oh, I'm tired Ralph shut up You know You can't get away with that shit man And he loved us, but he loved us no matter what you know what Joey we made this fucking day

We would do anything for him We would we would do anything for him. I used to ask him if he wanted to get his dicks up and stuff. He would just look at me Rob I got a little Puerto Rican chicks. He wants to suck your dick. He was facing turn red. I don't know. I don't know He would have to have pity Frank Pitt would have to push him around Yeah He did a lot for him. No Joe Pitt a lot of those guys helped him on everybody helped him out. Everybody was really good That's what I'm saying. That's what it was. You know, the people would just you know, good people North Bergen good people hard-working people

loyal Loyal if they were your friend They were your friend and and you know It was no way you ever had a question, huh? That guy gonna stab me in the back because if any you had thoughts like that about anyone They wouldn't be with you It's it's just it's just different you're growing up We're you know, not that you know, I don't know. I mean

It it wasn't rough great, but everybody you handled yourself. I guess I mean, I don't know you just Loyalty was big Loyalty was big with your friends and you know, that's what we had That's what we had You know, did you even have a curfew? No, no We just used to be out my father used to say I'm gonna put the chain on the door I said well

Put the chain on the door. Well, I don't understand what's what's that gonna do I said, uh, how do I know if I'm coming home? He said well, I need to know this. I'll be up the whole night. I said There's nothing to worry about. I mean, yeah I get the last bus used to run what 11 o'clock at night from up down 11 30 number one 30. Yeah, you know, so you gotta walk those, you know, three miles downtown or Sometimes I crash at McAveney's house. He lived right across from the high school high school. Yes. Yes. He did You know, a few times his mother would see me and say where you going? You know, whatever it's 12 midnight 12

You ain't going home like that. Yeah Now you're staying here, you know, and we drink some more I mean, it was different. It was Just different, you know Another night I remember is us in front of nicks pizza And you were going camping with chris, uh, cabin tether Your brother god rest his soul And I met you up at

First of all any party you never went to a party Like you never came to high school parties. No, you like you didn't have time for them No, but if you but if you came First thing on the fucking menu was we got to put leds up one on the stairs. Yes Take put the he used to call them the kings put the kings on the turntable take off spring steam. We broke their albums Let's get the party started. Yeah, let's get it fucking started. Yeah, no fooling around But I still remember a particular night where you were going camping with cabin tether

You and your brother and you guys were getting a hundred hits of acid for the fucking weekend Explained to these motherfuckers how we were eating acid and 78 79 and 80 until cocaine took over We were right. We were decent kids. I mean we were doing hits of acid Fucking tripping hurt nobody. We weren't hurt. Nobody weren't fighting the bullying. There was none of that shit allowed But man when it came to tripping and listening to music I mean we just had and and that's what killed us that

We were doing great with the acid and the beers and the reason things were great Nobody was getting hurt every once in a while. I'd go to that bar in 20 second in union city And get the fucking uh, the angel dust the shit you snorted. Yeah, just just to go out on a limb, you know Right, right a little subtle difference 20 second in newt. Yeah, it's something different just to break the monotony It'd be 20 second in the new york avenue But once cocaine came in That fucked our area That's when

It was the beginning of the end and we didn't see it. Nobody saw it. No I stayed at 85. What's that? We we got flooded with cocaine It was all over it was right across the fucking it was in a town next to us, right, right Remember we were surrounded, you know, you had west new york union city We walk and got jerseys. I mean even hoboken you had everything right there in your area, you know Everything was available Everything was available. I mean we were getting it. We were getting hits of thc. Shit my freshman year We were dropping out the bus stop at 8 15 in the morning

Nobody understood You know, you know how many times I went to school tripping out like that I saw I'm going to skip homeroom This way it's like you're not in school today And I'll go to like two or three classes And then I'll chill out somewhere like homeroom for two or three classes go to practice He was like, oh, you're not in today. You didn't go to homeroom. I said, ah I get no cut slips. I'm not here

No cut slips today You know It's just if I don't I don't know how they do it today. I don't know what they do They don't even think that way house these kids. No, they don't leave the house They don't you know, joey you go past the schoolyard Nobody you don't hear no ball bouncing No, you know, nobody's playing Like that's how like we all got to know each other, you know, somebody's out there playing somebody's got a ball

Let's go shoot some hoops and we'll take it from there But It's a different world. It's it's a different like if this virus came when we were in school It wouldn't work It wouldn't work because we would be out. We were out. We were really out kids Little motherfuckers know nothing About going out. We were out from eight in the morning To 12 at night when we were kids, right? They had no idea of that that concept of I push it on my daughter

I got a seven-year-old that if you ain't doing nothing, you got to be out We go for a walk. We got to do something a ride You know, I don't want her to get comfortable No in house No, but she goes to the gym She's taking her karate classes or whatever I see and said, you know, you got her active You know, she's not sitting around playing video games. No, that's not gonna happen in my world because I don't I didn't play video games No, I don't even understand fucking video games. No

I didn't shoot pool when I went to a bar when I went to a bar was to get fucked up. I wanted to see the devil That was that was the goal that was the goal The devil there was no pussy. There was no I don't want to talk to nobody I'm walking out of here fucking passed out and we had all those little pockets We had you know, you could start the party at Kenley school Getting to somebody's car and then be at joe luci's house And god knows that you're gonna do it joe luci's house You know, you can be up on 85th street park fucking drinking up there somebody robbed a beer truck

I mean, it was just our childhood was so I look at my daughter sometimes like well, I feel bad that she's not gonna have What I had that special thing. I had no family grown up. No, no, but I had you guys Yes, which was more than family That's what these motherfuckers today Will never understand that we had each other at that age Yes, you know our parents work, you know, you're right. You didn't see them. You didn't see them. No It just a total total different ballgame I seen um

Your daughter on It had to be like during christmas on one of your podcasts. You had the dice man on right Okay, and your wife stopped by And uh, your daughter was doing some boxing Right. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, what the beautiful beautiful. I'm very lucky. I got a second chance You are I got a second chance. We got yes A lot of people don't get that But you also earned it

Nobody gave me that second chance. No, no How many times you drove somewhere with a stack of baloney sandwiches to go pick up 40 bucks at a show You drove 400 miles or whatever like, yeah, you paid the price. Let's not you know Beat around the bush here. You might be where you are now, but You you know, you worked for everything you got No, my god, nothing nothing nothing. I left muckberg in homeless in 85 I ended up homeless in 84 In north berg homeless living up on 88th street park

I was too embarrassed to tell everybody because I didn't want them to know I would take showers Mr. A's house Yes, he wouldn't be home and I'd go and I'd go I'd go through the back And I'd take a shower and and and Janine The middle one would hear me And she never said nothing nobody she would come down and give me one of mr. A's shirts

I would put on with mr. One of A's shirts and I put a jacket over it And then I'd see Mike and I go Mike this shirt looked familiar And they go, that's my dad's shirt. I know and they all knew mr. A was they you know They they they took care of me as much as I Could as much as they could That neighborhood when my mother died they fucking rallied around me Like I'll never forget you see him at the shows Yep, you see those same people at the show people

Same people at the show and I'm like I'm blown the fuck away that these are People that knew me When I was a fucking junkie Like I left north bergen and junkie, you know, I ended up doing time in colorado. Yep, you know how embarrassed I was When the news got back to north bergen that I'd been arrested But that doesn't that that None of these people are none the hour people are gonna lay judge on you We don't judge. We don't judge people

We don't do that. Oh, joey's fucking thief joey did no man joey's our brother Joey's our brother you take him for who you are if you don't like who he is then what what's your story? What's your problem? Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, get lost get lost, you know We all go through shit, man, you know get lost You know, but right you see the same people like I see there you don't see joey You're gonna be up to it's the same people. They never left you You know, they were always there They were really really well

You know really what man. So in a sense, you know, you you went through that real tough tough time But you're blessed You really are and with the second with the marriage and another child Come on bro. Yeah, guy gave me a second chance. Absolutely. You know what man? You guys Have kept me so in tune like just talking to you Keith taunty Loubs of willow, you know james I talked to you guys. So I never fall into this

Retarded trap Yeah, this bullshit that they feed you out here. I've always spoken to you guys to Keep grounded You know by me talking to lubes when he tells me that He has to you know, Mike runny drives a FedEx truck Right my fat ass couldn't get on a FedEx truck You know, he's 57 years old Yep

So when I'm sitting here going oh, I got to go on the road this weekend And he's telling me that You know, he's got to work overtime on Saturday. I put it into perspective Yep, it gives me a fucking perspective to work with That I'm not I'm lucky. I'm very lucky But it's you guys that have kept me grounded over the years that I didn't buy into This jerk off Phil. They have never seen You're right there. Yeah, what's this pointing updates pick the time what happened?

I still see you. Do you really? Yeah, okay. Well, I want to uh I don't know pick the time 34 This is my wife because my wife never updates nothing But you're still here brother, don't worry. Okay, I can hear you but I can't see that handsome face Holy shit Well, we had a couple minutes anyway, Dennis. I'm just happy I'm glad I got to see you to talk to you because I know how busy you are. No, I'm not busy. It's a fucking quarantine They ain't dick going on. I want to get my friends on here. I really wanted

to get all my friends on here so they uh This side sees what we're about, man and if anybody You were one of my early guys I looked up to so I wanted to get you on here. You really made me laugh growing up, bro You really did you and Roger Holloway at a reason I didn't jump off a fucking bridge And I appreciate that and I you know, you always got my love and respect brother Ah brother, this was uh

An honor to have you on the church of what's happened now I wanted these motherfuckers to hear it from another voice Where I came from I was built And why we're the way we are, you know I Thank uh, mr. Lee Syed for all his help hopefully one day When you come this way

You know You bring uh, lee with you I'm bringing lee with me that motherfucker end up staying He bites a piece of piece of chinese food That motherfucker won't meet me at the newer gate the next day. You know what I'm saying? Eat me posted give me a call during the week. I love you joey. I love you brother. Stay safe you guys All right, you too. Thank you for listening. Thank you for being my family. I'm always here Got you brother. Love you. Love you. Bye. Bye. Bye. Bye

Well back bitches, I hope you enjoyed Dennis Dennis is a fucking trip And he wrapped it all up now, you know What my fucking biggest weakness is loyalty Loyalty has been my fucking number one killer But once I realized that I shouldn't be loyal to you Then you got to live under the fucking ground because I'm gonna fucking stab you 10 times We're loyal. We're loyal. We're loyal to the end. Uh, the guy he was talking about vinny That got him a job. Vinny was our football coach

And he helped everybody out. He was a great man. Mr. A. Askly's got the rest is so that was crazy He got a job 30 years ago and he's still doing it and it was funny because Mr. Askly's was the guy who I told you the story about that georgia amico We used to rob the gas station and he would always complain to mr. Askly's like Come on, Vinny, you know, you got to talk to these kids. They're robbing me blind And he was always talking about me and rago and mr. Askly's was like pauli from good fellas He was like I talked to them all the time They're good kids. I talked to them

They don't listen he wasn't gonna talk because he didn't give a fuck, you know, he's like I can't stop you but stop robbing the guy But mr. A was a great guy. I had a thousand meals at the house I'm gonna try to get one of the askly's is on to I'm gonna try to get mike to come on and Talk some shit with us. But uh, listen, they're starting to open up the country me and My man over here the jew killer. We're talking about this the christ killer It is a jew killer this disease, but uh It

It kills jews. I don't like black people either. They made this disease like I'm a racist and there's motherfuckers But it's crazy. They're opening up the rest of the country. Listen, you know me. I'm not gonna tell you what to do I don't give a fuck what you do proceed with caution guys for some reason I don't trust this since day one and I told you got my conspiracy theories. I'm not saying anything like that I'm just saying proceed with caution. I told you motherfuckers. I told you motherfuckers march something 16th To get your money back. Did I not tell him? Yeah, I told you motherfuckers

You bought any tickets to any concerts get your money back Get your money back if the concert happens scouted tickets And you know, you'll just don't watch the opening band Miss jones jet who gives a fuck about you know, all you want to see is motley crew and death lepid anyway So all these tickets. I told you motherfuckers tonight. You're crying to me online. I told you to get your money back We'll make it work I don't want your money if you're not if I'm not if you're not coming to see me Get your money back and now everybody's fucking blaming about and I fucking love it

I told you I just had like 10 friends of mine call me I bought tickets for rage against the machine and they won't give you your fucking money back and it's criminal now Remember that shit for after these times like I said a couple weeks ago. Remember this For after these times, you know, I mean, we don't know what's gonna fucking happen. No, but proceed with caution Ladies and gentlemen, I don't give a fuck if disney closed I ain't going nowhere disney's the greediest motherfuckers in the world Okay, they don't fuck around they bang you out from A to C Go to the hotel and spend the night and see what they charge you you'll go. Jesus fucking christ

I'm not saying nothing bad about disney. They run a great establishment When you're at disney land a piece of paper hits the floor They pick it up besides that little ghetto fight that happened Last year. I've never heard nothing bad about disney, but for disney not to open up I'm gonna follow their lead. I'm a fan of mickey mouse since fucking day one Well, I mean that's interesting you say that because something you've said to me from the beginning Is that you look at like how the top people are doing things You're like does rogan do this in his podcast and no one doing like this

You follow their lead and you're right if disney the number one entertainment place in the world Says no, why are we fucking around? Why are you sitting there going well? We're gonna shoot this film in mid-july. You don't know what's gonna happen mid-july. No, we're living day to day This is what's killing half you people. You've never had to live day to day What have I been telling you since day one? I focus on one day one I focus on what's in front of me. Don't talk to me about next thursday That's why I started to hate comedy

Because you want me to tell you how i'm gonna feel february 26. I don't know if I want to do comedy february 26 That's been a 25th and I'll tell you I always hated scheduling Because I don't know how i'm gonna fucking feel. That's why I like the comedy store Because on sunday, I'll let you know how i'm gonna feel Monday morning. I got to call on the comedy store and go ho give me spots I'm not now. They're fucking obviously closed. But when they're open, you know, so that's why I never liked it I never I always live for today. What are we gonna do today? How are you gonna make money today? I was just telling Lee that we've noticed a lot of moving

Vans around the area. You know Fucking people are leaving at the speed of light and this is only the beginning I spoke to my friend yesterday by Hudson, New York And it's a it's a gay community a gay town like the town became gay. I'm not saying nothing bad It's called Hudson. It's like palm springs. Yeah, and he lives next to it He's a realtor and he says that you can't keep a house In northern new york that everybody's moving out of buildings. That's it. Everybody's getting out of buildings in new york city That done all you need is one thing

For people to start moving and you can see it around here. They're offering your free rent one month They're trying to be sneaky though. They're making you sign a 13 month a 13 month. Be careful. Yeah, but who gives a fuck 13th a bad number Anyway, yeah, you like the building on fire one time What I'm saying is that fucking, you know, uh We've changed we've all fucking changed this has happened and I know that you're sitting at home Feeling weird. Maybe thinking that you're thinking bad thoughts. Maybe you're thinking the right thoughts Maybe you're thinking about quitting that job You don't like that boss. Maybe you've been thinking for a long time about going back to school

Maybe you were thinking about quitting school because it's not getting nowhere And you're just mounting up loans with the shit that's going on This is gonna open your eyes to a lot of shit Seven weeks has given you a lot of time and wait till they extend it and you know Like I said, I'm gonna keep living life. My plans are just what I've said from day one I have to stay home guys. There's no way I get on a five and a half hour flight Right now right now today There's no I'm telling you how I'm gonna feel come on morning

I don't see myself getting up at 3 30 in the morning and taking a 5 30 a.m. Flight to be on a flight For five hours to Florida or anywhere right now Right now. I'm just gonna wait for the fucking These clubs locally to open And work on my hour again. You guys don't want to see a fucking shitty joe deers. I don't I don't want to go out there and be shitty. Yeah, I could fuck around here with you guys on the spot But when it comes to charging you money and getting you out of your house And now you got to risk your life to go to a comedy show. I better be fucking funny

I'm gonna light myself on fire at the end of the show. That's the only thing that would make you risk your life to go see a comic or a band today So I've been down. I'm uh berkreicher two nights ago wrote that it's been I don't know 60 days 51 days. It's like 63 for me. Wow So especially when you've been doing something for 29 years straight So if you see me Somewhere in june mind your business

Mind your business You don't need to see that train right You go home and like look at your mom or thinking you're a tired brother That's the same thought you're gonna go get from seeing me. We're all gonna be rusty as fuck So if you pay 48 dollars for a comic in june Don't be that fucking dumb. You're gonna get what you fucking pay for We haven't been on stage for 60 fucking days. Yeah There's some of us that are still funny and shit like that, but I like to be a little prepared

So I want a little time You know, I'm only gonna charge like 20 bucks in brand in june I mean july august september until we get our limbs back and just figure out what the fuck is happening Are people gonna come out and want to shake hands are people gonna want to hug Are people gonna want to take selfies? We got to adjust this shit So before I got on a three and a half plane ride To cleave them over every I mean everything on my pretty much is cancelled The only thing that they are still is still open is uh july 31st

Is still I think on the hinge uh august 1st in san diego And I know wise guys is open in uh in utah utah, and I'm definitely coming, you know, I'll figure it out What numbers they have besides that? I don't know what I'm gonna do with philly october 24th, and I don't know what I'm gonna do with uh Buffalo december because I'm an old man, and that's a connecting flight that looks slim if it's a connecting flight You're in no danger on that right And right now they've even cut a lot of flights, so there's not even a lot of direct flights anywhere

They've cut so many flights Somebody was telling me to go to new to land in newark. They had a fucking go to chicago or something like that Now there's no direct flights people are scared of the five-hour flight on there, so I don't know what's going on So for right now, I'm gonna mind my business. I'm gonna keep wearing my mask I'm gonna keep washing my fucking hands I'm outlining the fucking book every time I talk to one of these characters every day. I got a new Thought in my mind, you know what what what book you would have got in march And the book you're gonna get today is gonna be two different books

And it's gonna be because I've gone through so much these last seven weeks You know from 9 30 to 11 The walls closed down on me. Once my daughter and wife go to bed The walls closed down on me. They ain't funny either guys. I'm not having that great of a time. That's why Every day I call my single buddies and I add to the list steve de dowry fucking matt Simone lee My brother george in new york all my single friends get a call

Because I know exactly where the fuck you are. You know, I know exactly where you are I know by 11 o'clock if I was single I'd be pulling my hands out of my fucking head You you're a quarantine You just sitting home later Waiting for the next cupcake to fall in your mouth. It's like, yeah, fuck. Yeah. Yeah, he don't give a fuck but normal people Normal people. Thanks. I fucking like man I got to get the fuck out. What time I call steve Simone a theory pneumonia day. He was delivering food to old people Yeah, he's doing a lot, you know, and that's

If not, you know, you're gonna lose your mind. So get involved if you're having a rough time My heart goes out. You know, I love you to all my heart. Thank you for listening, but Go out, you know, it's not that bad out if anybody's scared of living. It's me. It's not that bad out Avoid people Again, and I'm gonna tell you this for the 80th time and I know some people can't avoid it Do not walk into a 7-11 if you don't want covid That's covid central. I saw it again the other day every time I'm at the light

I look him Not the bad not the 7-11 by the fourth wall that one's not that bad, but it's got problems I don't trust him. Okay. You don't trust me. Okay. Then it's not me talking out of line I I don't trust it's the client tell more than the people working there. I don't even have I don't even I haven't even been using the same rolling papers These are rolling papers weed maps gave me a shout out the weed maps They gave me some tremendous rolling papers I got I got I ran out of regular rolling papers the one I usually use

But weed maps sent me a little gift a little gift Package and they put rolling papers in there and they're just as good as the fucking As the easy-wise whatever the fuck I've been using for the last 30 years So I've been taking any like I know you've been taking with a family But like just by yourself. Do you go on like rides really quick? I like that You're in the car by yourself. I do everything I can To make this a lot easier Everything I can and I stay to the script

Every day it doesn't deviate if it deviates It's by 15 fucking minutes. I get up Tweet you motherfuckers Eat oatmeal Take a quick shower And I'm quick shower because I shower the night before So as I get home at six and whatever the fuck I'm doing if I'm out in the air

Shower I usually would shower if I had to go to the comedy store But if I'm just standing I would just shower in the morning and when I got back from training or boxing or whatever stupidity I do Now I always shower at 6 30 6 15. I'm in the shower. I'm staying in. That's it. I don't want that clothes I had on. I don't want it on my furniture So I shower I Talk to my wife and we take the baby out at 8 15 We only have two bicycles. So we have to pick a parking lot. We have like four different parking lots we go to And while they're playing badminton, I ride the bike

And while they ride the bike, I'm walking, you know, so we get that morning exercise I get like six weight watching points. I need a lot, but it's better than nothing At least I have something to work with I dropped them off at 9 30 I go in for a few minutes. I send some emails. I do what I got to do And at 9 30s when I go running do my errands You know pharmacy before all the other germs getting that right CVS Walgreens weed store You know anything I have to go to if I want to get co-cuts

If I want to get groceries, I got a place I go to for them You know, uh, I've been ordering food online. Just trying it out I tried out jimmy's seafood. I was gonna say since Steve fucking tremendous. He said you like this Fuck. I don't think you like crab cakes. You like crab cakes. I didn't know if I like them I don't order them all the time, but I don't know if you like them. So I like them with mustard sauce I got like five of them like they had like a starter kit so when when uh Sikler told me

Ryan told me they were having a hard time He said they're running a sale with its free shipping. Oh, so that's why I went I hit them up and I got Four crab cakes just to support them. You know, my goal in the beginning of this was to support all the local Places we both agree. We can't walk into sushi then as much as we love sushi then You know, we both have agreed that we're not going to go to cactus And when I don't go to cactus, that's one thing when lead. I'm going to cactus You got a fucking problem. Okay. You know, all our little food stops I vowed to support them, but because how they are and how they're shaped. I can't I still

support the pizza Pizza wagon pizza wagon of brooklyn My daughter would kill me if I didn't get it for once a week If I didn't get a pizza wagon of brooklyn, I'd go down I just broke down For the first time in seven weeks when lee told me he ordered Gum shoe. What's that grub hub, which you know, you got to be retarded Uh, that's really that raises it. That's an extra set of hands touching your food

On top of a car that somebody sat on you always go pick up your food You go to green apple Call them. They'll tell you what time And you sit outside and they bring it they put in the trunk of your car. Well, okay Okay, so these are the things you got to do. You can't have the less contact with motherfuckers the better I won't say the couple times. I did they had masks and gloves on Yeah, that's true people. Listen. Nobody wants to go out of business and nobody wants to get fined I wanted to truly support a lot of fucking places

There's a lot of places I go to that I wanted to support, you know I There's a place. I don't want to say mention it. I can't go in there. They locked the door You got to touch the handle go in and wait. I've seen people do it. I can't go in there So my eating out days have been over till Once you told me about the that you ordered then I go, you know, maybe I I know why we called my wife said the chinese people said they'll bring it outside to you Which in most plot parts of the east coast there ain't no fucking chinese food

Chinese people have run up because people have been harassing them Oh, no, there's a lot of chinese restaurants in the clothes because people have been using racial slurs against them You know, I'm not mad at anybody. This was uh, this is like a punishment from fucking god Don't blame it on the chinese don't blame it on no that you know, we could blame this on a thousand things We don't even know if what they're telling us is fucking true anymore. We don't even know what to expect I'm not trying to be a cynic or nothing But we don't even know just write it off. It doesn't matter You know what matters your fucking grandmother died your friend's uncle died your friend's sister died, you know

That's what matters. So somebody's fucking dying. I don't know what it is. I don't have time to blame it Anyway, back to the chinese food. Okay, so Yeah, I just got garlic fried rice I was just the mood for something normally, you know My wife is a great cook But it got to the point where everything was starting to taste like everything Like the beef was starting to taste like the eggs the eggs You know, thank god I cut out the bacon fucking six weeks ago

And I've been just on oatmeal because that gives me a different way to work I don't feel fucking like I'm you know, I'm eating bread for breakfast None of that shit, you know, we I just I ordered the jimmy seafood and I was so impressed with it That I started going on different websites So if anybody has a great website like a restaurant tweet it to me just tweet me like that they I just went to main something company A friend of mine referred me. So I I made little orders. I ordered a one pound bag of clams

To make spaghetti and clam sauce and I got a one pound bag of shrimp because we haven't had seafood Since this whole fucking thing started We had a bag of shrimp at the house and my wife got a Costco But besides that we had nothing I was like and now we're gonna run out of chicken and beef this same I don't know what the fuck is going on anymore. So I'm like you motherfucker. We live day to day So I'm going online. So I know we got butcher block box But they were sold out. That's why we don't know we're reading their ads We they didn't get rid of us. We still got them on the agenda

They just waiting to get all fucked when this pandemic hit they got hit right away right off the bat So we still got them. So hopefully once they get back in action. I'll support them. They have salmon It's all organic. They have great beef. I mean the the fish they have is great So I ordered some stuff to support my friend told me that There's a company that he ordered seafood from because Bert Turned me onto a place, but I can't fucking find it. I've been told a boulevard. Oh really? Yeah, I don't know. I don't know 131 something jiffy

Tiffy seafood company. I couldn't find it the other day and I got frustrated I ended up in fucking an Encino So I was fucking pissed And I had a piss and you know you could piss when there's people on the street But when there's nobody on the street, you just can't pull over and take your dick out and piss Because then people you know people don't know what you're doing that I had a piss in the parking lot I had to make believe like I was on the phone

Get directions and stand behind my car and I had to peek close to the door So I jumped in the car like a superhero almost broke my fucking ankle I would have loved to hear the calls Bert was getting when he couldn't find where you were going I was pissed I called him twice mother fucker was sleeping And then he finally fucking called me back Whatever I go you cock sucker I went up there and then I went home and checked the website and went and I couldn't fucking find there

Damn, so something's not right. So it was my bad. So I just Ordered seafood. I'm trying to listen guys. I'm trying to support the local spots but You know I went to in and out. Yeah, I got my wife in and out burger one day Because now you go to in and out at 11 o'clock. It's a fucking ghost town like that stone stone song It's a ghost town you go at 1145 the game changes every motherfucker wants a cheeseburger Yeah, so I tried to switch it up from my wife and the baby

Boom, I got them fucking in and out and that's what I do when I go out when I leave at 10 Right and I go run my little errands. My mission is also to bring them some type of lunch Unless my wife tells me I'm making this for lunch already, right? So I try to switch it up Thursday Tomorrow is going to be a fucking 100 degrees. Oh, is it really yet starting Thursday? You want to your walks with steven? It's gonna be fucking people. I was going out when it's hot as fuck. That's when you have to go out You have to melt you pick the hot because you can't you can't do six o'clock by six o'clock. You don't need to walk

You're dead. I know it's nice out your metabolism has to go out 11. You got to get the engine started Steve's a good man. He's a great man. But you listen to everything he says. That's he's from philly He's joe frazier's nephew. That's all you need to worry about He's joe frazier's nephew. He picks the hottest tiny little room. That's when you sweat the most so all that fucking Giz that's backed up in your system. There's a lot of it all that fucking hummus All that fly sperm in your neck all that's coming up flies out here. This is what sure because you're sweating that stuff out That's the good thing. You see what I'm saying. It's a beautiful thing It's a beautiful fucking thing with zombie children. Anyway, I love you motherfuckers to death. I hope uh

Your mental states are right. I hope you got a check I hope somebody's helping you out. I know I've been getting a lot of emails and I'm replying to all of them. Uh I'm with you I'm going through my own shit. You know Nobody is This shit does not is not racist Everybody's going through stuff whether they show it to you or not that bullshit to you People are thinking people are thinking about the next move. It's not just you that's feeling this way. I'm going through hell. I just

Know how to manage it in the daytime and at night once I'm home. Fuck it I'll jump out a window when we're gonna land on the first floor You know, it's no big fucking deal. I was looking at my window the other day and I'm like, what if I jump out that window? Nothing a few stitches. I won't even have to go to hospital I'll just wear like a helmet and just go out just to just to say I did something with myself It's one fucking landing. Are you gonna stand on the legend screen like get all the attention? I'm gonna do it No, no, no, no, no, no, it's like that fucking girl that quietly. Okay. Yeah, it's like my friend. That's you know I hate telling you guys this story because I was gonna turn into a bit

But it's true. I got a friend that forever. She's been killing herself. Anybody had one of those fucking lunatics in your life They've been killed themselves forever Like you have one of those friends like one day you just go enough is enough I even had to stop talking to her and I figured she'd kill herself In the process, but no she ended up in the in the fucking loony been two times, but she never killed herself So when this all started, I told you people I got a sentimental Faggy part of me and I called a bunch of people. I even thought about calling my ex-wife That's how much of a sentimental person I am

That I just want you know how many times they fed me a father and mother fed me I thought about calling my ex-wife and just saying hey, man. I hope you're okay through this I don't want to talk to my daughter. I get it. But you fought your family did feed me a lot When I was a kid I just didn't go along with it But I did call a lot of people that I haven't spoken to man And I connected with them and she was one of them And everything was great for about three days and it all went south with the suicide talk again

Now guys, I'll take anything I'll take anything you want to come and bring it. You want to test my wits Come over here and break my balls. I'll laugh at you. But there's two subjects. I really don't want to hear about There's three subjects. I don't want to hear about I don't want you to reach for abortion I don't want you to talk about fucking Hitler and the jews And I don't want to talk what's the other one suicide suicide and I don't know what order they're in I fucking hate all of them. You want to crack a joke about With me about the jews, you know, what what? Oh

You know What's that fucking stupid kid joke when you were a kid? Which one? I don't know I I'm a craze killer, but don't talk about yeah, like, you know, just I hate when I'm on I'm on I'm in a comedy room and a jewish person tries to Glorify Hitler that shit all those little things. I don't know if I've ever told you this people

But this shit bothers nothing talk nothing bothers me more worse than suicide talk I don't know. It's because if I had suicidal thoughts With my mother and I pussied out. I don't know if it's because I'm catholic Oh, I don't know if it's because I love life the way I do And I would never even fucking consider it. I don't know What it is and people talk to me about suicide that my dick just dies Like my whole body just freezes up. I will talk to you for a little while But after a while

Either sit or get off the fucking pot You know, either go get the mental health that you need go to a hospital Or fucking stop with the suicide talk So I guess they took it to a hospital a year ago I found out about I didn't call And before this stuff started one night, I just reached out And she answered and I started talking to her and everything was fine for like three days then three days in She starts with the fucking suicide talk. You know me. I talk around it

I don't even fucking justify it. Like I just go, okay. What have you been listening to lately? And she would always assume uh, you know Like she would always end up on it I would call her and I knew her birthday was coming up And I figured maybe I'll do something nice for her for a birthday. Bring us something You know, but she's so fucking crazy that I know it always turns into something else like it turned into a speech or something

So I've been calling her and checking up on her once she started talking about the dead stuff I've been calling her and checking up on her a car broke down. There's a ton of shit going on with her You know, I can't go down there because I'm not I don't go to hollywood as much as I used to But I try to call her, you know, we were having some Because she takes all this medication. She sleeps weird Her sleep is weird. Okay. So her hours were off. So we didn't connect a couple times Then finally one day I talked to her like how you've been how you're holding up And she's like, well, it's taking everything I can

For me not to kill myself or something like that and I go, you know what? You really want to kill yourself and she goes, well, I have no reason to live. I go before you do it Let me come down there. I go, what are you away? And she goes, what are you talking about? What do I weigh? And I go, what about what if I come down there? Slit your wrist and handcuff you to the chair You'll probably bleed out in about four hours if you weigh a hundred pounds How I know that is because I watched the mechanic a few weeks ago

And that's the first scene Jen Michael Vincent Took Charles Brunth and some chicks house for how to commit suicide in front of him And then he finally throws the keys out and drives it to the hospital He says drive yourself to the hospital and she calls him a fucking punk. It's a it's a really freaky fucking scene That's Christ So what I'm telling you motherfuckers is I told this bitch ran out. I go if you want I got a funny where I could stab you in the throat. Maybe stab you in the lung Listen after I told her that

Do is silence on the other Once you put it to somebody guys I know a lot of you guys are gonna get mad at me, but think about it. This has been going on For fucking seven years. She's been icing herself. Enough is enough If you're gonna take the dive take the dive, you know, I got an easier way. You know the stab you I got an easier way. Just get one of those $28 tickets to a cruise ship. Don't worry about nothing I'll take care of it after that. We'll bomb it. We'll do something. We'll put corona on it We'll do something

So after I told her that I would come down and stab her And handcuff her and she wouldn't go nowhere Like listen and it guys I would never get away with it because there's probably a ring somewhere Somebody would see me go down and they trace my calls That you know my dna Maybe whatever so I said that to her she thought about it was like the time the girl Asked me for money and I thought I wanted to eat a pussy and she called me back and she goes

So what do you want to do when I go? How about I let your ass hold on fire? And there was just there was just silence on the phone and she goes can I call you back? Same thing with this chick After I told I would come down and stab her in the throat and handcuff and she would bleed out in four hours And I don't worry about nothing. I'll call the authorities in like eight days They'll get you when you're nice and ripe. You know what I'm saying when you when you're kicking in the apartment I mean, I just I just drew out the picture for it because I can't take it no more. There was silence

So like three days later. It was a birthday. No I thought I thought for sure she was nice herself on a birthday But I called her and she was in good spirits And towards the end of the conversation She told me she was going to kill herself. I said listen. Happy birthday Don't worry about nothing If you want to do it call me. I'll be here all night

And she hung up the phone and then the other night I had insomnia I went to bed at like 11 and I woke up the fucking four in the morning This is the creepiest fucking thing you ever gonna hear guys Creepiest fucking thing because I told my wife I opened up my eyes. It was 358. I put my head back down the pillow I'm like I got a pee and I went my pee You know one of those long peas in the middle of the night Well, like you had like a protein shake

And 12 ounces of tea like I always drink this warm tea at night this t8 ct Dog I must have pee for 35 fucking minutes. I was standing there my wife comes in yesterday She goes who peed in that bathroom. There was pee everywhere. I go listen There's a long story that comes with it. I got up in the middle night to pee I peed I laid back down again, and I couldn't fall asleep Nothing particularly entered my mind. I just had insomnia So before I start getting pissed off. I used my own recipe I go let me get up do a few bong hits and write a little bit

Nothing's bothering me You know like when you have to get up and call somebody. Yeah, no. No, I hadn't called nobody There was nobody I was mad at that. I had no problems with my wife. I just got up, you know And I get up I put my hoodie on I put my slippers on I walked to the door. I make a left I make a right to the kitchen. I get a bottle of water And I go in my office and lee

Do you know That as i'm pulling out the chair by this point it's like maybe 4 13 4 14 Then I called you call me. Yeah, I think it'll be a little bit later like five in the morning Right, do you know why why because as I went to pull the chair out the phone started ringing The phone was under like a piece of paper And also I had the phone on I'm like who the fuck is calling me a 4 15. So when I move the piece of paper over it's a suicide check So I'm like, oh, here we go

Here we go. God will give her. She's gonna jump the bridge right now So I answer the phone I go What are you doing up at 4 15? Do you want me to come down and kill you? And she's like no She's like I think I got it rock and roll routes Robbs got like 19 cases in hollywood. So she went to rock and roll roms So she's going for a test. She went for a test yesterday I don't know. Maybe she maybe maybe she her answers will be I don't know what the point of the story was

I just want to tell you about my life And the people that have around me in the psychology I got to use now because I just got second time and I told my wife and she's like you should be ashamed to be so I am but I'm not Because you don't take those fucking phone calls every three nights When somebody's gonna kill themselves Most people don't take them. They're like, I'm not gonna answer that call me. I'm an asshole I take them because I got a fucking

I feel guilty Anyway, I hope you enjoyed the podcast today, man. I just want to take your mind away for an hour Just to take you somewhere else From what's going on in front of you. I hope that you're doing well. I hope that your kids are well I hope that your family is well And I hope that you're taking care of yourself most importantly Like I said, they could open up all the fucking theaters all the bars They could give away free hand jobs at the fucking massage parlor. That don't mean I'm going I'm approaching this

with cautious And with common sense and I appreciate if you guys do the same I need each and every one of you from bobblingus Even the devil hubster who's been clean for 30 days I need all you motherfuckers because you guys keep me the fucking together. Okay From my man adam the v Up in fucking toronto my favorite greek. I mean, you know, I see who you guys chat reader I see you motherfuckers and I appreciate you with all my fucking heart

From the bottom my fat little toes to my fucking big gorilla balls That are on They're not even on sale. They're for free at comedy store.com website You can see my balls after manscaped and the lotion the lotion has been working But anyway, speaking of manscape, why don't we talk about a manscape? That's a whole different fucking show The church of what's happened now is brought to you by express vpn

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But most importantly, I want to thank you guys I want to thank denis clangelo and I want to thank my man the christ killer. Yo, we'll be back monday morning Ready to fucking rock with some more church of what's happening now for right now I love you guys with all my heart. Remember stay loyal to your friends. You got only three of them You live and die by them. You can't go wrong. I love you motherfuckers. Have a great weekend Stay safe. Keep your fucking distance. I don't want to know nothing It's pandemic season. Have a great weekend. Love you guys. Kick it league You