Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #789 - Joey Diaz on working outside the box

Episode Date: May 25, 2020

Joey Diaz  discusses Joe Rogan's Spotify deal, what he has learned from Joe, and how positive he feels about the future.   This podcast is brought to you by: Helix Sleep - Go to www.HelixSleep.com/CHURCH to get $200 of your mattress and 2 free Helix pillows plus a 100 day at home trial.     MyBookie.ag -  Use code promo joey to get a 50% match on your first deposit up to $1,000. 

So I'll know what to tell this motherfucker, right? So I just tell him Greetings from podcastville the church of what's happened now is brought to you by My bookie. Listen like this shit going on ain't bad enough now. You can't fucking gamble fuck that I found the way for you to make a little guiness Put some money in your pocket and have some fun while you're doing it. You ready my bookie I know most sports are shut down But my bookie still has the best action going in Germany. They got that boondest laga

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Monday Don't feel like Memorial Day. It's been a memorial for the last two and a half fucking months We've been fucking dead, but don't worry about that. It's a whole new week Whatever happened last week happened last week this week is this week and remember Just because you didn't suck your dick nine months ago. You ain't out of the game rent is due call up She might say yes this time. You know I'm saying you never know people change. It's been great. I feel better I'm a hundred percent better than When this pandemic started or whatever the fuck you want to call this thing. I'm still wearing my mask

I still have a little bit of fear, but I'm okay. You can hear it in my voice You can see it in my mannerisms Like I told you guys in the beginning There was gonna be a silver lining to this and for me there was I Had people send me hate mail when I said this what do you mean silver lining? I lost my job of that watch Watch it's gonna be a silver lining and there has been for a few people if there hasn't been one for you yet It's coming. You just haven't looked or you haven't tried hard enough when I was doing the

Early read for the fucking my book. Yeah, I said OTB. I don't even know OTB existed in New York anymore But OTB's were a fucking blast when I was a kid because it was one of the 178th Street as soon as the bus landed from Fort Lee and Poor authority so you can either go outside and freeze to death or kill time at OTB I would go in there, but you know bet like two dollars across the board on a horse But you didn't go there to win you went there for the entertainment You went there to see the pickpockets. You went there to see the chicks trying to hustle a blow job Guys trying to cheat in on bets Guys trying to stack on a horse so they bet the other horse. It's a and the room is as big as you know

It's like four or five of these offices and that's how big you got 90 people in there I don't think they're around no more because they would just be fucking a Chinese sword in the four dead from COVID But fucking the OTB used to be a lot of fun. Anyway, it's been an interesting week It's been an interesting month. You got the day off today Big fucking deal. You've had the day off for the last two and a half months like they're doing us a favor Well, my wife told me Friday. Oh mercy's got no school on Monday. Great. What's the difference? What's the fucking difference we've had for the last two and a half months? Two hours of computer fucking teaching and the rest of the day

I got to wear a fucking hat on and play assistant to the assistant to the assistant to the assistant principal Excuse me I'm trying to go get the joint going to get this fucking atmosphere going, you know, I'm saying there's a church What's happened now on the Monday morning? You show up with fucking gloom and doom You got your pockets upside down and you're depressed. Hey, so is everybody else who got a stick and go around the corner What do you want from me? Why was some fun? Well, you know fun is free. You do know that people Going to the beach is free go into a park and bring a bologna sandwich a mosque a Maya

That's free vitamin D is free Some of you decide the place where vitamin D doesn't exist. Go fuck yourself. We've got a fucking tanning better What white light and sat in front of it, but you're outside go enjoy I yell at Lee every day cuz he doesn't go out of the house I don't know what what he has at the house what he's guarding over there if he's got my Jewish 20s I go out I've been walking When when you're not hiding Steve you're walking, you know some interesting happen this week That people are blown away about doesn't blow me away because I've been friends with the guy fucking ever And I could tell the guys always played outside his own realm and that's a

Spotify what the Joe Rogan podcast and you know People been hitting me up pros and cons. I don't know anything about the business and how it works now. It's gonna affect it I know that how Conor McGregor say sells out Las Vegas and you know Conor McGregor doesn't sell the UFC He sells out Las Vegas Joe Rogan has the same effect on people with his products whenever he pushes I mean, he can't pick a winner. Look at Bernie Sanders. He picked Bernie Bernie almost killed himself You know, he can't go with his winners. He can't pick UFC fighters either, but he's fucking knowledgeable He's smart as fuck and he's interesting. He's got a great podcast

but the reason why that happened is simply because He's always thought outside the comedy box and that's the greatest gift that I've gotten from him That When most people were doing these world tours you never see fucking Joe doing world tours not like that He keeps everything simple. I have made my business plan part of how Joe I watch what Joe's doing I see what you know, so gurus doing I see what all the guys are the better than me at doing I see what Bill Burr is doing and you take a little bit from each of their styles, you know Whether it be their podcast their stand-up. I'm not saying the steel. You don't steal nothing

You look at what they're doing. It's working for them and you copy that fucking business pattern You know, I'm not saying Spotify's only give me any money spot if I don't even know what the fuck I am I don't want Spotify to know the fuck I am. I just want you to know who the fuck I am And that's all that matters to me, but it's just so weird how Joe has been working Straight like nobody just gives you anything American people Herbie thinks the blue bird that happened it shows about your door fucking Joe. Roke you rogue and he's lucky. No, man Joe goes down there five days a week. He does full podcast a week He works out five days a week. He writes on the weekend. He's always got something with his girls

You know, it's a non-stop world for Joe with Joe doesn't one day you guys doing one week It's the same with me what I do in one morning some people doing a fucking week Because you put the fucking work in it's the way when I put that saying up years ago Keep showing up. It was a picture of Joe Rogan. He kept showing up I have the utmost respect for Joe Rogan and it started 20 years ago when he was on news radio When he'd shoot all fucking day and then still go and get a $15 spot at 12 o'clock follow and fucking Paul Mooney or something like that and I would sit there in awe and say That's the point to get on a TV show. Why would you come down here? No?

The point is to be the best stand-up you can and then he fucking started with the podcast and I think people were doing it first But he was doing it late not on the road And I remember me and Ari real paranoid at first we wouldn't smoke dope on the camera and stuff We were really scared but he had this idea 10 11 years ago when nobody was thinking about it And then when I almost quit comedy he talked me into doing a podcast with Felicia So he knew something was up and I told the story about mugging a hooker and here we are fucking seven eight years late It's still podcasting. So there's something to it. I follow his lead on a lot of things I follow his lead on a lot of things. I follow

Bill Burr's lead on a lot of things, but Don't ever forget like a since I started doing this podcast and Leo tell you I've seen podcasts come and go Because people's expectations are not real. They're not and this is what everything anymore Somebody tries something they get into it for four months. It's over. That's it. It was too hard. No Nothing is gonna be easy. We think you're just gonna walk on then they got a fucking pay you millions of dollars. No You got to put the time and that's why I've said since day one the people punching in is very important punching in is doing anything that'll make you better and Sacrificing it when your girlfriend calls you and says to you. Oh, we're gonna go over to the Mildreds and have some mimosas

Who gives the Frenchman's fuck? I want him What is a mimosa do you not give your fucking headache and champagne with orange juice? You gotta do ten miles on the fucking treadmill next day to burn off the sugar. No, I must stay home and write commie sacrifice Joe has sacrificed time. You know, he didn't just become the UFC announced. Did you know that? Or did you just They just called him at home one day and said Joe went should be the announcer he was doing news radio He was a fan. He picked up the phone and he called Dana White and he offered to do it. We'll do it for free How many people willing to do that are you would you do that right now at this time?

Would you walk into a store tomorrow if your family needed food and go? I'm willing to work for free to show you how hard I work. Look at that deadbeat right there I'll work that motherfucker by three could would you do that? Do you have the fucking balls to do that? That's what I'm saying. He had the balls. He made the call now. He's got the UFC paying him He's got 25,000 people paying him now He's got spot a pot five paying him But don't ever think at one point in his life that that kid even fucking sleeps, you know when he did that October October he put up his results and if you look at his sleep his sleeping is the worst thing

He has he sleeps like six hours a night You know why because he's always going he's always thinking he writes comedy, you know So don't it just didn't happen that Joe lucked out. They could have given it to Mark Marin They could have given it to Bill Burr. They could have given that deal to a thousand other people not really Kevin Hart Gabriel is in the same round Whitney Cummings, but Rogan brings something extra with him. You know what that is? He has a voice And That voice carries see there's certain people that do podcasts and they do podcasts free to let you hear what

They want you to hear. I don't give a fuck. What the fuck you hear from me I'm gonna tell you what I want to tell you whether you like it or not If you don't like it move on this soft the fucking podcast, but this is a podcast of truth Well, I tell you the fucking truth. It's Monday. What do you want to do? You want me to come in here with a bunch of bullshit stories on fucking Monday? No I tell you the truth. This didn't happen to Joe overnight because he's Joe this happened because it's 30 years of grinding every day Asking questions. Hey, I'm telling you this times

I put on one of his podcasts and he's got one of those crazy people on that I don't want to watch that either But for the most part He's got a lot of great guests on there and he gets some of the best guests I've seen on there We're on the Patrick the guy from fucking arrow Smith was great fucking The guy from sleep the reason why I sleep as well as I do when I focus on it was because of that book So by him getting this money from whatever Just you know don't sit there and say he's the luckiest guy in the world

And there's a second point I want to make to this story too Last couple weeks the agents have been calling you, you know Offering you deals these people want to lend you money to send you on the road and do all this shit This just goes to show you how good Joe and his management team are they work outside the box Comedy is great, but comedy right now is being worked inside a box. This is what I don't agree with it This is why I wasn't going on the road as everybody else. I don't like how it's worked It's worked inside a box people work outside the box are enjoying it more Joe works outside the box. He enjoys it more. That's why I copy his style. He works outside the box

I've been watching that for 20 years the managing style of his manager So in my mind, I'm my own fucking manager. I should be doing what he does which I do I look at things You know I'm an econ major I think I don't have a degree for econ, but I got a fucking master's degree in street fucking math And you're not gonna beat me on that, you know I'm saying I know numbers and you look at numbers And it's just not working a lot of you's are going through a hard thing right now And I'm telling you that this is the time to do what you've always wanted to do Fuck what your wife thinks or your father or your uncle you got laid off you get unemployment

You want to play the tuba? This is the time go to a pawn shop get a fucking tuba COVID test it before you buy the fucking And stop playing the tuba everybody has a dream go for your fucking dream. This is what this was for This was not a fucking thing from China or Trump for this was a sign to wake us up To wake you up that you should be doing more to wake us up and we could be doing a little better We could be better people to our friends. We could be better friends to our friends We could be better brothers to our brothers. We could be better sons We could be better there's so many things that I've gotten from this

You know when this first started like two weeks after this start I saw a thing that said domestic violence is up I love my wife But there's some nights when I have anxiety I just want to kick her like a mule some nights because she sees I'm having anxiety and I'm fucking fading away into You know from 7 30 to 8 I have a rough time So I try to breathe it out and like I'll ask her a question just to deter her And then she'll just go on with the story and once the politics comes out My anxiety goes up a different level, but you know what I gotta be honest with you guys during this time

I've learned to love my wife a lot more. I Saw the reasons I saw the things in my life and in my wife That made me fall in love with her in the first place. I Saw where my weakness is well, you know I've been wanting to get off the road for two fucking years guys For two years. I'm one to get off the road Write this book so I can get this out and now I have the opportunity and that's why every day I outline every day I outline I spoke to one of the guys from the office the identity gaming idea to start taping them and

Listening to myself so I did that three times already just to see how creepy that is That's not even listening to a stand-up set. So there's no pressure. Okay. I'm just listening to his stories So that's been working out for me. So And again and the bike riding for you guys who've been sending me emails I just mentioned, you know, every time I mentioned something on here lightly You guys bombard me with stuff and I gotta be honest It doesn't bother me at all because I learned a lot of stuff You guys sent me some bike stuff

I did not know about in fact was a guy that was like a 61 year old bike rider That sent me like a little workout to do right like just to do like into a little training With weights that you could do it with a bike too, you know, so there's a I started riding the bike I'm not gonna lie nobody the first day I did one minute and I thought my body was gonna break down I couldn't even control the handlebars And I went to five minutes ten minutes now I'm up to I think thirty five fucking minutes So and I've been riding every day. Yeah, thank you. No, no, you've been walking too. Listen, man It's just time to do different shit

I'm happy that I don't have to go on the road. I'm happy That and guess what else I'm riding jokes again. I've written a few fucking pretty good fucking jokes not bits Just jokes. Are they ready for the stage? Not at all. I'm happy with them Because I'm riding at least So let me tell you something I thank you guys because you have been my therapist through all this You have forced me to get out of the house you have for I'm for one of the

one of the Zooms I did in my house and it felt great, but it didn't feel good Because when I go to work, I want to go to work, you know, when I leave the house when I'm at home, I'm daddy I can't be daddy on the fucking computer room yelling and screaming talking to a villa But in my office, I could be fucking daddy But I tell you something man. What's that? The weirdest fucking thing So they had that come in here

And I clean around time to time Sometimes I'll come in and wipe down the table The thing if I know I'm coming here with my daughter in the afternoon I'll come here in the morning and wipe everything down and air it out Listen to some music Yeah, dad was sitting there talking to mercy. She was an accountant here Hmm Something you're sucking a milkshake. Oh, it's just tremendous. It's reef

This is again from urban trees. Whatever the fuck they got is 30. That's what they give me. I walk in there They just give me a bag. That's it. Here you go Smoke this take this and I do what they tell me. I'm like rage against the machine. I do what they tell me anyway I come in here the other day. So when we do our podcast She sits in my chair and I tape it from over there And I'm looking by the cups over here on the floor and I hid the bong and stuff so she wouldn't see it And I don't know what happened. You didn't see me the other day. All right when alberto crane Uh called

The other day because he's gonna be on later this week and I was talking to him on the couch I don't know if you noticed that I picked something up. No, I didn't I found the men's wallet With no ID in it Just a card And three condoms. You found my stash That's crazy. I know it's not your stash You haven't even put on a condom since they were fucking white Now they come in color and they're thin

Your dick's like it was last time you put a poor condom on the way the last time I had sex which was seven eight months ago probably Yeah, probably end of last year Are you feeling you ready to bust? I'm ready. I'm I trust me. I'm ready to call one of these freaks. There's no freaks to call I'm supposed to be Trust me. I mean we're supposed to be on lockdown and any of the ones that I could call You know the couple that I could call it. I don't want to call them

But good is that what that right now is when the chick is as lonely as she can A chick that said no to you now will say yes to you just for a simple Bike ride because they're lonely. You gotta you gotta bother these women now is when to bother them. They've had it They've been through eight weeks of being alone. They'll do anything. They'll let you like they're pussy's on fire They'll do anything right now. I'm great. They're lonely. You gotta go out and find yourself a fucking woman That's it. The party's over. Stop blaming it on them. I'm gonna lose weight first Just go out and find the fuck a woman. There's women that like to go chubby hands and juice and you're one of them I wonder how long I had the those condoms have been there though. I don't I'm trying to think if we could

You know, I don't the funny thing was when I found the condoms and I looked at them in the car Only one name But I couldn't blame just her Because other people have sat there. Like I said, my daughter sits there The chick that came from wendy deal the chick that came with tyson A lot of people have sat in that chair So I don't know who the fuck would have showed up here with three condoms and they're the good ones too And that's the only thing they had in there is carnival. That's it. No money. No id. No nothing a wallet

Like a men's clothes wallet a fucking Hotel card from the harvard hotel. See where the harvard hotel is if there's a harvard hotel I never heard And three condoms that they were gonna go fuck. I love it. I ain't mad at nobody. It's just it's really I'm not saying that it bothered me. It's like who the fuck was going somewhere after this That left me fucking condoms here Let's see here

What a fuck is the harvard hotel is it around here isn't fucking yeah, it's more hollywood boulevard. There you go There you go So what a fucking but it's not a nice place No Holy moly, I would love that I have everything that we've had in here. That's like The tamest thing we found drugs in here. Oh, I found a ton of shit in here I can't even say this shit. I found it here. I found on that side when people sit there. It's fucking embarrassing

But who gives a frenchman's fuck. It's fucking monday cocksuckers. All right Listen, this thing is almost over. I mean they extended here till july 4th Orange county's opening up next week San Bernardino county's opening up next week and we're all gonna be fine You know last night two nights ago. I went to the weed store and the chinese girl wasn't at the counter They have a really pretty chinese girl at the counter at urban trees And I went and it was the big black security guard Then I looked around it was the manager that was working

And there was one other employee and I go what's going on here and he goes man, it's been fucking dead I go, what do you mean dead? He goes dead Since like the fucking tent Businesses dropped like fucking 60 percent And that's what I said I said It's gonna take people to write two checks to realize where they really are A lot of people didn't get unemployment and now they got to write june checks Yeah, I still haven't gotten the stimulus. No, you're not getting shit. I know three people who are moving out of their apartments

either into their car a friends basement or into their business Three friends right now for june 1st I have another friend that I've been talking him into leaving Because he pays too high of a rent here And him and his wife leave anyway for the summer I might put your shit in the storage get the fuck out of here

Save that money from that rent and when you come back the rent will be that much cheaper if you come back If you want to come back if you don't want to come back and stay in dc I don't blame you A lot of people the big X of this has already started here in Los Angeles people if you don't know it And it's happening. It's starting in new york too for the new yorkers that are listening They'll tell you the same people are moving out of buildings and into houses. They don't want to be involved in this no more They don't want this catat. They don't ever want to be in this position again This is going to change people like I said

You know right now people are going to start looking at the savings their retirement funds You know, what if this only What if we only get a month and a half of freedom again? And they lock us back up in october again because it comes back with the flu season Twice is hard. So hey, listen people are scared I don't blame you Right meditate do everything you can To give you peace of mind if you feel uncomfortable being somewhere get the fuck out of a listen, man

I watched them last monday as they were walking into the fourth plant And people were saying we're not ready yet They know and sure enough they had to reclose it the next day because they had six cases in detroit We're not ready for a lot of things yet. And one thing we're never going to do is social distance. So We're never going to it's impossible It's impossible if you go to cactus You've been to cactus before I think you're going to cactus and ordering right where the waitresses where the chick is the two cooks

Where you are in the scheme of thing, you know Well, I think it's going to change it like every like everything we talked about flights the other day how how Like you can't go in there Because people like people that don't clean the planes because people get angry about it Like I think it's going to be very interesting like oh Like yeah, there might not be as many seats as a restaurant, but there might be more restaurants Or it's it's not gonna be more restaurants. You don't think so. No, how they don't they go You know how many restaurants are about to close? Oh, yeah, all the ones that are open are gonna be gone

Do you know how many restaurants are going to be closed right now? Have you taken a ride to hollywood lake? I haven't been to hollywood three months Take a ride sometime and see what's going on out there in the real world Go to melrose and look at those restaurants Make it make an estimate. You had a what they're paying For rent at that place and what they're losing every month And you ask yourself are they gonna be open in july who's gonna open in july july 4th You're opening up in dead into the death

It's it's picnic season. It's beach season Ain't nobody going to Beverly Hills to eat no fucking sandwich And it's weird because it doesn't it doesn't feel like a vacation like it should it should feel like a vacation, but it doesn't No, it's not it's not a vacation. This is not a fucking vacation There's a pandemic going on in your head since life is always a fucking vacation. It's a vacation But this ain't a vacation People are fucking hurting right now and people know it. This is no time. There's no vacation This is a fucking

This is a pandemic That if you make the wrong move you could end up in a hospital. Yeah You know, it's under a hundred deaths in new york and it's under a hundred deaths in LA And that's because we've been staying in and we've been vigilant, but yes, sadly I want to give a shout out real quick to my man John Buscemi from Paulie's deli You know why because that guy opened up a deli. He sent us a bunch of food He had so much success in Beverly Hills and he opened up another deli downtown

And he called me a couple days ago and he goes I wanted to send you and leave some food And I go that's not necessary if you see the size of me and we We don't need food and he goes nah because uh I uh, I've been donating to all these different causes and you know, whatever So I really want to give him a shout out. It's not a sponsor It's nothing like that go down there. They make great sandwiches They got one of the best spicy italians you've ever fucking had in your life So I just wanted to throw that in real quick. You know, uh, there's not going to be a lot of restaurants left

If you go around now You could fucking see like right now restaurants are doing it's a three-man operation Right Maybe a four-man with a dishwasher Dead just bring it. It's it's it's like It's like selling wholesale You're not making a profit But at least you're generating money to come through

You're not totally there's no money going through there's comedians that are not making a dime that their whole Income comes from touring and merch on the road They don't have a merch button on their website They're gonna suffer Guys like me who broke it up into Podcasting t-shirts on the web, you know a little bit of comedy I never really sank all my eggs in any of these three things. It was various things

Plus i'm working on the writing So by me working on the other things and making money It pays me to write even if it's 10 bucks an hour That's how I look at it for right now at least i'm getting paid 10 bucks an hour To write so it's how you look at things. This was never a vacation. That was the wrong attitude to take this was Something to look at for two weeks see what was going on And once you decided that we weren't going to go to work because I knew this in the beginning

I've been saying this and not an account and on a conspiracy Theory level. I just knew there was something they weren't telling us I told all you guys to get your money back. I told all you guys all this This is just from living life. Why take a chance? Why have your money out there? Why do all these things? I told you motherfuckers that things were gonna change and I told half a years to get a job Can not wait for unemployment Because there's gonna be six weeks behind this people who still haven't heard from unemployment like I don't know what happened You know what happened? You fucked up. You should have gone to stock shelves

And by now you would have had your unemployment and you could quit the stocking shelves My friend told me right out where they're only paying 12 50 What else are you doing at night? You're staying in the fucking household day I would die if I had to stay home all day and I had somewhere to go to 11 o'clock And they paid time and a half for overtime. Fuck you I put two fucking masks on and yell at people. Hey, stay the fuck away from me change my gloves You go home. You know, there's certain precautions that could be taken if you really wanted to make this happen Yes, this started as a limbo and then it became a morning

We got we were all confused because we started mourning the death of our old lives The death of our own old lives Arena shows Basketball games Things that might not come back the same way You know jujitsu. What is the fate of jujitsu? You know, that's one of the questions. I'm dying to ask Alberto on fucking Wednesday. Like, you know, it's opposite of social distancing Are we gonna be able to go to a

A restaurant now and there has to be a table in between you Do do I always said that there was going to be a pay cut involved here There's gonna have to be pay cuts because I can't book every hotel room now I got to have a hotel room open in the middle So there's so many things that are going to come from this that people have to adjust You know comedy clubs any day now You're gonna start hearing comedy clubs. Just shut down

Because they know it they know it themselves. They're gonna open up in June June is not comedy season Especially this June where there's no money People are barely keeping it together right now financially So and that's a fact right now People are barely keeping it together. If you one of those people my heart goes out to you I hope that you can find a way to uh

To take care of that, you know, there's your family you have so many people out there There's so many people willing to help that it's uh ridiculous. I mean me and steve samone trade-off recipes We trade off food, you know It's it's been for me. It's been a great experience I wanted the break from stand-up I wanted to this In fact, you know, there was no way I could call my agent and say I'm taking eight months off

Because he would have started calling me after three weeks. Hey these people offering you this. What do you think? Come on? Come on? Come on. Do you really want that? You still know Now they can't call me and say nothing. This is really Giving me a breather after 29 fucking years and not just a tiptoe through the park 29 years This has been hard, you know, I had the opposite of the rogue in effect Even though we both put in the same work I've done worse work because I didn't have a manager that he had I'm not blaming his success on his manager rogan is a hard worker and he fucking uh

Deserves everything he gets, but he's got the best manager in the business that worked outside the box So whatever you're doing right now in your life If it's not working to the utmost maybe You're not working a little bit outside the box. I believe in outside the box. There's nothing Wrong with working outside the fucking box Give it a try. Maybe you'll make 110 million dollar deal with fucking spotify. What do you know? What I know it's monday memorial day

We got another month of this And we're gonna make it you're gonna make it why because your uncle fucking joey said you're gonna make it That's why one more fucking month of this late, right or two Well, I I didn't know it was end of july 4th. I thought it was at the end of July July 4th is official for california. Please. I didn't say that July 4th is what the fuck these humps are saying Yeah, I mean I I hope so. I hope so. I think

Good white people are going crazy. I the thing that I'm glad it got extended a little bit At least because they were talking about opening it up now like min may And that scared me a little I don't think they were ready. I don't think we're ready. And you know what? But people are broke. I I went last night at about five I went to the weed store. Like I said, he told me business was down He said the guy on the corner the spaghetti Restaurant they get a lot of chicken parmesan sandwich orders dead down I sat at the park and the ymc parking lot and I stretched I opened up my trunk

I did some kettle bells and I watched people going by and there weren't too many people at the park yesterday And what that tells me is that the money issue is now coming in now. It's where the money's coming in now is where People are really starting to sweat it out. You know, I mean yesterday the fucking roads were bad It's supposed to be listen two weeks ago. They were yelling and screaming because they wanted the beaches open now They can't fucking nobody was I went to the beach twice last week. Nobody was at the beach They just wanted the beaches open Right people don't want to be told what to do. They just wanted the beaches open

And that's it and that's that man. That's a fucking monday morning for you. I know you got Oh, you got no barbecues to go to You got no fucking no nothing to go to today. You could probably have a little something with your family, but I don't trust anything over six. I really don't Yeah, but it also I think I think it'll teach you For me, I'm always someone who likes smaller events But there must be people who like big events, but yeah, have two three people over Get a steak or get make a couple hot dogs and a couple burgers

Have a have a cold beer and watch an old movie It's not the same, but it's awesome. You don't want nobody in your house. I never want anybody in my house I love when people are not in my house I'm talking a remote place Go meet find a fucking palm tree where you're outside I don't trust inside yet. That's why they haven't done anything inside yet That letting you do shit, but there's it. There has to be outside Yeah, you know when you go anywhere on to hunger all those restaurants

They make you wait outside. They make you wait eight or nine feet They're doing it right and fucking right there and we'll go fucking to hunger there Well, no, it's the same thing. We they don't want people saying they got sick here like that Like that hairstylist in Missouri got 150 people sick It would destroy me if you sat across from me right now I'd rather talk to you for an hour and try to entertain you Then try to get somebody fucking sick right now. You know, I'm used to lilies used to me I know he had it. I know I got it. We just weren't symptomatic something to happen

I don't even know what symptomatic means I'm just saying I know something happening because I had a weird feeling at it back angst and shit So somewhere along the line It just fucking came and mother fucking went but uh Listen, you know right down. This is what this was for This was not a vacation. This was a time to rebuild yourself Remember the show this six million dollar man This is what this is

This is for you to look from within and go where the fuck was I Slipping where the fuck was I slipping at work? Maybe at this time I give up smoking dope. Maybe at this time I give up eating these pills. Maybe at this time. I give up this Maybe it's time. I go to the gym more americans are getting healthier and ever More americans look at themselves and now that they know That underlying effects attracts this disease More look you can't find the kettlebell online

You can't find the club bell online. You can't find weights online the fucking bike store. I had fucking list Because yes, it was boring but people on the people are now knowing Those underlying conditions can kill you So we're trying to improve those underlying conditions, you know I give I tap my hot out every day to Dean del Rey He got diabetes on a Tuesday and Tuesday night. He was a changed man I talked to Dean every night and I goof on him. What do we have tonight diabetic chicken? You know, you know a chicken with no sugar or whatever, but he sticks to it

He walks seven miles a fucking night every night That's what you need to do to allow that. I'm petrified of diabetes So for me, it's heavy lifting and now I've included the bicycle. There's no more Boxing even though I did go to the park this week and hit the midst with a friend of mine I double mask just to take my fear down I wanted to take my fear down. I'm trying to work on my fears of being in public I just don't want to walk out in front of 50 people Embray in two months and fucking have a nervous breakdown on stage. That's my biggest fucking fear

So like I've been going to like now I go to war greens at 12 And I see if there's five people, you know, I'm saying how I feel with five people and trust me Nobody's social distancing Some people really really really try I really try as you could tell I fucking hate zoom and I had to go to zoom because I you can't do 40 minutes or an hour talking with a fucking face mask on

That I built for that shit. Trust me. I'm telling you. It's a fucking nightmare Your mouth feel like that anthony guy your teeth are falling out of your fucking mouth after an hour But that's it man. It's memorial day and Two and a half months ago. You didn't think you could You didn't know what to think and look where we're at already It's memorial day. Look where this country has gone through. Look where we're at But you know, what's most important? We're still fucking here and we're still ticking

And v is still up in toronto and lalingus and hookey spooky still in austin and and you know, my man is Uh, joey, what's his name moricio avarado is still stuck selling whatever spoons I'm doing I'm doing caches morris one day this week life goes on guys Life goes on you have to look at this See how it'll affect you and your family What needs to be done so you don't get it and move forward and that said don't look back This is just a bump in the fucking road for some people for a guy like me There's a bump in the road for some people. This could be life-changing. There's people will kill themselves. My heart goes out to them

You know loneliness shouldn't be that bad. But again, I was raised in the only child. I've I've been in prison I could sit against that wall all fucking day and stare at it if I have to because I got a parade going on in my head That's where I look out over a lot of other people. So But anyway, I'm happy. I'm happy you're here. I'm happy. You're still supporting the podcast And I'm happy that you gotta have a great memorial day and hey, it's all uphill from here if you really think about it That's it. You did your toughest spots. You went through your toughest spots Now it's just climb and climb and climb and maintaining and once they open bam, you're there with a new attitude a new outlook

new energy new motivation And inspire because you've seen where you could end up You've seen how many people losing houses. You look at people. There's a lot of people worse off than you So stop feeling sorry for yourself. Put on your big boy pants. Grab your cock Salute the fucking flag and you're an american. You're gonna be an american today And you're gonna be an american next year and what we specialize in is making fucking comebacks That's what we specialize in in america is designing the comeback All right, so get it together

Stop your fucking whining. We're here. We're queer. What dates. I got no dates. I'm not going nowhere I'm like you motherfuckers. We're all in county jail for a next month and a half but Once everything gets cleared up with the airports and the planes and health And all this shit I'm gonna be in all your motherfuckers hometown laying it down even I don't care if I die on fucking stage I'm going out there to fucking rock and you guys know when I get up there. I don't give a fuck So thank you very much for listening really quick

Before we cut it out One of the reasons I'm so rested and I feel so good today Is because sometimes the mattress the mattress you sleep on Makes a huge Fucking difference. Okay. And for me, it's been healing sleep I got a call from them about a month ago They were interested in sponsoring the show, but they wanted to send me a mattress first Listen, the mattress looks like when it came I asked my wife. What is it a canoe?

She doesn't ask the mattress. That's how it comes We took in the garage. We sliced it open. We took the old mattress out You put this helix down And often it swells up You sleep on it one two nights and it starts molding your body and I gotta tell you something It's fucking tremendous A couple bong hits a few edibles and before you know it I'm waking up with a half a pot rose stuck in my fucking mask. You follow me. Thanks to healers sleep

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Tip top magoo with alberto crane. Stay black. Kick this fucking meal. Lee You You You You You You You