Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #791 - Joey Diaz on protests and THC emergencies

Episode Date: June 1, 2020

Joey Diaz discusses the recent protests and tells a story of one of the worst THC emergencies he's had in a long time.  This podcast is brought to you by: Keeps - Go to www.keeps.com/CHURCH to get your first month free and hang on to your hair.    Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout on your first order.    

Who knows what the fuck is gonna happen greetings from podcastville the church what's happening now? Monday, June 1st to rent this do motherfuckers, and you know who's got the rent looters The church is brought to you by and welcoming keeps let me talk to you people You see these fucking guys is 2020 and they're walking around with a fucking way gone You ever see these guys or then you get the guys that look leave their head long and cut their hell of a sudden Then they're missing in action They'd make up a story about getting mugged and they come back looking like the me Beatles with a whole new head of hair

You ever see these fucking guys you ain't fooling nobody You're not fooling nobody so stop in fact you do fool when I say to do with a wig I say a prayer for you because you don't have much left any day now somebody's gonna shoot you in the head 2020 you got a fucking rug a raccoon on your fucking head get it together Face the facts two out of three guys will lose their hair by the age of 35 I know a lot of people who are balding and I don't like I don't mind looking at a smooth head But let me tell you something guys if I see a hue a toupee coming towards me I'm walking the other way. That's just the type of person. I am we all know what's going on underneath

That fucking little George Jetson hairdo, you're not fooling anybody with that rug your hair is thinning It's not the end of the fucking world. The best thing you could do is get ahead of it I'm 57 years old. You know I'm saying that I'm part of the fucking time from the future And I'm telling you to do something hang on and prevent to what you have What hair loss you have with keeps get treated online by a real doctor FDA approved medication Over 100,000 guys have played for keeps with keeps treatment starts at $10 a month But since you know uncle Joey, I'm giving you your first month free. Do me a favor

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Nobody uncle joey kick this motherfucking mule league. It's monday june 1st No more fucking excuse. This is the year of the fucking soldier. We're going in like fucking marief. Do you understand me? Welcome to church, motherfucker Oh, yeah Welcome to riotville you bad motherfuckers the church on a monday morning nice and early I'm here to hope that your day goes smooth and uh, you don't encounter Any hate along your way today? It's been a bad fucking week And we'll get right to it. Let's spark a joint while we have it. I know you're all home

You're sitting there like fucking momos put on youtube out of respect For this poor bastard george floyd Eric gardener and every other minority and any other white guy or whatever that's been beat up by a fucking cop Here you go There you go, it's been a rough weekend Nice to kick back on a monday morning tell your boss relax with the fucking zoom call All right, put the zoom call on hold. I'm all zoomed up We zoomed to talk about nothing

Some guy told me he spilled glass on his computer because he was having a happy hour on zoom How old are we now? How old are we now that we're on zoom happy now? Are you fucking retarded? I try to get on zoom and get the fuck off of that. They're watching you know Anyway, what you wouldn't have done that at 21 and like made a drink and sat on zoom with your friend Are you fucking retarded? We would have stole the computer like the looters last night You know, I gotta get this body started right in the money, but listen

There's an old saying First time shame on you second time shame on me Guys we live surrounded by cameras if you haven't put that in your head yet Come to we live surrounded by cameras You could smack a dude with nobody on the street That dude calls the cops you run away With an hour, there'll be footage of you snapping that dude some guy on the street driving by He's so cuz as soon as you see two people getting together altercate the fucking phone comes out

so Cameras are on you all the time. I don't know what happened I was not in Minneapolis that day. I was here mining my own business in case you're thinking of accusing me Right away. I take the fucking things in my mind. I did it, you know, that's the type of person I am I see a black man Getting held on a choke his neck I see him telling people he can't breathe And then I see the pee run down the street

When you see the pee come down Right there. I knew there was gonna be a problem. I posted something immediately that You know two years ago three years ago in New York City They didn't handle the Eric Gardner case correctly and I'm no cop as you guys know I'm a criminal But I have the utmost respect for cops Like I said on my video that You've never heard me on a podcast use the word pigs. It's not in my vocabulary. It never has You know who uses word pigs fucking moron because they call cops pigs

But when they're getting a beating who's the first one they call mama mama the fucking pigs So don't use that fucking word because you're gonna fucking need them someday While you're getting beat up or your sister's getting raped or you're getting fucked in the ass in the gay club You walked into by mistake Some of you someday you're gonna need the cops, okay Even when I got arrested I treated those cops with the utmost respect There was one cop that disrespected me So I opened up the fucking valve on them, but that's a complete different story. That's not what we're talking about here today

We're talking about what we all seen as americans with the knee on the thing and the piss and then The explosion the last four nights. It's been Sunday, you know saturday night in LA was brutal sunday night was fucking brutal I know they're they're marching up into the valley. Uh last night. I heard tonight. Yeah Yeah But they're doing that all over the country. I can't even imagine what's going on in minneapolis Me I wrote a tweet saying that first time shame on you

Second time shame on me Okay, that now the cops act because you know again, I'm not the smartest guy in the world And I don't have a fucking crystal ball and I'm gonna fucking swammy But I do know that the u.s. Is trained many many many black men in the so in the armed forces And many of them are snipers many of them have been whatever You know, they come home. They got a little ptsd They're looking at things from a different angle from a different world What makes two of them get on the phone and say let's start

Making 911 calls for domestic violence and shooting the cops and we get that You know one for one. What's gonna satisfy? This fucking rage that's going on in the country. Did we need this right now? I mean no work fucking coronavirus fucking People got no money. I just saw what three moving trucks on the way here on the way here I just saw three moving trucks one last night before the curfew I went for a quick bike ride last night Just see because all you heard was helicopters

From my house and fucking ambulances. There was one point. I was at the park park at a fucking military plane Flew over is so low. I thought it was gonna crash into the fucking park. I thought I was dead I was saying my last fucking goodbyes. It was over but To get back to what we're talking about. I mean I Listen, I raised my hand on social media. That is what social media is for To let your facts be known what you say. Yeah, I go on then

I tweeted last night if you drink my cum you'll be high for three fucking weeks or whatever the fuck It's jokie pookie because I'm a comic. I'm supposed to say stupid shit like that. It's also probably true. No, and it's true They had a report that says that if THC goes into your piss That'll definitely come into your cum and I'm like, I know when mercy was born Eyes were a little glassy. You don't think I know that I still feel guilty about that Eyes were a little glassy. She looked she looked like she listened to the grateful dead I knew that something was going on but after like three days

She was back to normal. She was fine. She was crying. She was kicking no big deal. You know what I'm saying? She was high in the womb that poor thing my wife Does not get high. My wife only got a high at the wedding. But uh, but anyway To get back to what we're talking about, you know, I could have been any one of us and and listen This shit happens all the fucking time. This one just happened to be going on camera And and here's the funny thing That that night I started watching the governor from Minneapolis who Minnesota who obviously is black

And you should have heard him back peddling already, you know, and then he got to the thing First of all, for you people don't know this An emt can't make a call on the death Okay, and an ambulance the call always gets made at the at the hospital For people who do not know that yes, he died at the hospital Because that's where you usually die. You die on the route that I he died on the street They called it his death at the hospital big fucking difference. I want you to understand the wording there He died on the street

but They called it at the hospital an emt can't call a fucking death Once they come in the doctor does his last test. He looks at his clock. He puts 127 time of death And I was gonna say is that what they say like he's pronounced it pronounced that that's what I'm fucking saying to you But he died on that street. Okay. We all have fucking seen that So now, you know, look I got the utmost respect for cops In every race

There's good and bad And every organization there's good and bad, you know You watch the UFC there's good guys and there's guys that have malice in their heart and their fathers didn't feed them And their mothers didn't breast milk them and that's the way life is You know, there was something there that was on that cop's mind that day And what do we want as americans as americans? Why are we on the streets? I don't mind a protest of

You know getting hurt you have every right. That's your first amendment But once you start tipping stuff over and bringing danger Jesus christ last night was the first night you were allowed to go out to dinner in LA I know You know and and and the stores are just opening up not not in any place Listen, it was empty as shit last night up in the valley. Nobody was in restaurants. Nobody's got money The rent is due on monday. Who's going to dinner on a saturday night unless they got a fucking credit card. So But like it's it's it's funny that you're bringing up because I've been taking these walks with steve and jimmy schubert

And it's in a nice neighborhood and I sometimes I need to take a break And one of these times a cop rolled by and just looked at me And it was before this happened But I was thinking like If I if I if I didn't look like me like a chubby white kid who's not going to hurt anything if I looked if I was a Black dude with that cop stopped and said something to me in a nice neighborhood just sitting on the corner It like it's

I I another interesting thing that I read was that 80 percent of the people Who got arrested in like st paul weren't from there? So I think a lot of these people are going there to have a good protest Like I heard the one in LA on saturday was mostly peaceful and then The cops show up and they tear gas people but this is the stories i'm hearing and this is what i'm reading Somebody's putting these things together because they're supplying water Right and they're supplying like light salt things for your eyes to clean the tear gas

I saw a little baby A little kid in seattle got to got maced or you know, but why would you bring your kid down? I understand how you feel But what's your child have to do with this right? You know, this is why the poor kid got killed in the soup at a batman movie at midnight Why would you bring your infant to admit midnight? Batman I agree. Yeah, you know, he needs to see batman that fucking much You know, but back to the original point

What do we want as americans? What is the next fucking thing? What do we want? We we think this is gonna stop by fucking burning buses and lighting businesses on fire Like melrose wasn't even destroyed already. So I drive down there once a week Everything was for lease And for rent down there. This is now we're gonna take This is gonna set us back another fucking month. Well, can I ask you like Take yourself back to like when you were like a criminal, right and like everyone was blaming you for stuff

If at that point if if you're like fucking they're gonna blame me for they're gonna fucking eventually kill me Let me get a tv. Like is that the point like did you ever have that that a state of mind? We're like they're gonna blame me for it. I might as well fucking do it. I've never looted But I understand the mentality of those people I understand the mentality of those people. I understand what it is to be broke I understand what it is to live to be three four in a one bedroom apartment And to see people have what you don't have. I know what that feeling is like And I know how bad it feels and you shake it off and you

Realize you just weren't born right or you wish your parents were wealthy or you wish you had different parents or something stupid We always wish we we had it better, you know So all all those kids that have all those dreams because do you see the guy in dallas? They came out with a sword and they beat him With a skateboard and a rock. He came back with it with a bow and arrow. He was just trying to defend himself Yeah, defend his business He was just saying please please don't ruin my business Please don't ruin my business. You know all those things

That's not what george floyd wanted. That's not what nobody wants. Nobody in america wants it But guess what bro? I get it I get it. You know, many people didn't get there fucking some limo set check, right? You know, many people didn't get unemployment. You know, many people got let go. You know, many people got fired This was just fucking gasoline and on already This was smoldering. Oh, yeah People were angry already. They got they closed running canyon

They closed hudson county park on monday at one in the afternoon You know people are fucking living like they've never lived before So as a 57 year old man who's saying a lot I understand this Today I tweeted or yesterday I tweeted that you got two choices, you know You could stay home and say a prayer for his family George floyd's family Or you could go out and eventually get in the head with a fucking baton a tear gas. Yeah

People right away were offended that prayers don't help. I didn't mean to just fucking stay at home and kneel What do you think I kneeled down? No Meditate about this whole thing. How will you make a difference towards this thing? How can you? You leave joe Diaz ookey spooky Lalinga's how can you know, how can half of us make a difference? Well, half of us don't get in trouble Half of us don't get police contact. We don't have police contact. You know, uh And I get because I I said something similar the other day. I said like it doesn't really

It doesn't really matter that you guys are they're right Because the the cops have guns the cops have the law on their side and they're always good They're gonna win but on the flip side of it Like people march with martin lucid king Sometimes you have to do this stuff for me. I'm too much of a pussy. I'm just being honest I I see what's going on If I got hit when they had with a with a baton, I'm done if I got hit with mace As much as as much as I wish I could be out there

I I just I don't I'm too much of a pussy. I guess but we're being out there Yelling and arguing with cops is that gonna make the difference? Insighting cops and yelling at cops and I don't have the answer. I wish I had the answer To tell you that, you know, I think that uh, our friend from miami The kid that the right the guy that the director that did all those moves Billy Billy corporate Billy was talking about DA down in miami that covers up All these crimes for cops of 27 years and you know, it's an internal thing and

LA's police brutality laws and blah blah blah blah blah. This has been going on, you know, since jesus lifts fucking chicago yeah, this Is going to change things a lot a lot. This is going to even add more body cameras. This is going to add more things this is going to make Two cars show up to each Thing now to each call, you know, I mean The call was a suspected man that was trying to pass a bad check How did it end up with him on the floor?

And I want to see what led down to him being on the floor because all we're seeing Is him on the floor by the neck and him getting approached. I can't watch the videos I just no I don't watch it. Listen up to the second time. I don't watch it now Let me explain the other end to you people How long do you think this fucking knucklehead's going to make it in the prison system? How long do you think I mean Me my wish is this you want to stop these riots Arrest the two yin yin brothers that were standing there

The other white guy in this knucklehead put orange suits on them Walk them out the town hall And pray that there's a sniper on there to catch one of them We take the other ones in and now we know they're all in fucking prison But in prison they're gonna last an hour They're gonna last an hour. Trust me. All of them are gonna last an hour All those black all those prisoners that go into a black run Well, I mean what I mean the thing with that happened with Eric Gardner like what likelihood do you think

That any of them get actual prison time Like that's that I think could be the biggest issue if they get away if they get away with it That that might be dangerous if they get oh if he gets away with murder Iran will nuke How's that for you they'll take Minneapolis off the map You can't now not in this country not now. I hope they don't be right. You gotta throw them under the fucking jail You gotta throw them under the jail These guys can not get acquitted for anything

They cannot get acquitted at any level for anything and I know that a lot of police officers listen This there's so many cops that are pissed off right now There's so many cops right now that are walking with their head down right now It's fucking embarrassing. How many cops are walking around? Looking down on the floor right now Because this is not what they joined the force for But I don't know the life of a cop And neither do you because you're not a cop

But a lot of cops listen to this and you know I know what I'm talking about What you deal with on a daily basis After a certain amount the same way we get bitter towards our jobs Yeah, they get bitter towards their jobs. You really have to love being a public servant I don't think that some of these cops say I have Two things that bother me right now about being a cop. There's only two things. Okay that You Is tremendous gotta kill this roach

They don't hire look if you hire my friend Vinny's gonna be a sheriff All right, he's in training right now. He has to go to class five days a week eight hours a day He's from north hollywood. He went to north hollywood high Put him in north hollywood So he has an investment in north hollywood Okay, listen if me and you are gay lovers, right and we like to drink and smack each other from time to time A rookie comes and arrest you and then you're gonna be out in two days

And we're gonna go back to being lovers then they're gonna arrest us because we violated the restraining order and it's gonna be Guess what? Vinny's known about us. We're the gay couple up the corner They call they called us fruity lee and fruity joey When they were kids now Vinny's an adult. We're still gay. We're still older and we're still crazy Vinny would come knock on the door And say joey, what the fuck go across the street to the hotel. I'll call the manager I'll put it on my card. You follow. I'm trying to say to you

There's times that somebody should be arrested and there's times that you already know what goes on in this neighborhood These people don't know what goes on in these neighborhoods. So that's One reasoning absolutely and the other thing is the social skills You and I weren't a car one day you would drive me to a doctor's appointment And we saw something on a monday morning during russia. Well, that just Had no only a fucking dummy could do He parked his car sideways this cop tell you about a homeless guy It created a fucking mountain of traffic asked lean and we like what the fuck is going on

And it's just a common sense thing. He could have pulled into a driveway. There was 10 driveways there He pulled the cop pulls in not even straight but sideways So I think the common sense I think the college education That you need to be college educated to be a cop I need to be you need to be a little a little bit more streets happy You need to be a little bit more street savvy and learn how to call it when you're on the street This time's dog. I know who's chased me with a fucking knife and I'm gonna put a bullet in your fucking head But if I know you're a mental health guy, I'm gonna shoot you in the fucking leg

And call it a fucking day And I'm not sure of the exact time But isn't isn't like the training very short for police officers Like it's it's amazing that you In classes for four years and they don't get a gun for a while like That's a lot of Of pressure. That's a lot of responsibility to give someone those cops are standing on the line And they're getting yelled at pig. Fuck you. You suck. You're gonna die your mother

They go through special training to sit there and not listen to that to not get agitated by that I don't I don't seem like okay. You can't get agitated by that. It's just people's words. You have to numb them out sit there and wait for them to invade your Personal space personal space, you know and look at again I've had different times in my I mean for Christ's sake. I went to prison for fucking tying up a guy So anything I would say would be hypocritical You know, man, people just want to see justice

Um and I get it Like I said, I don't think I think the protests will let the judges know How serious this feels to us When he's sentencing One type of sentencing. I mean the guy's on suicide watch The other three cops haven't been arrested. They'll be arrested tomorrow morning first thing in the fucking morning

and then You know Sometimes guys you gotta let nature be nature You know, I told you a story once about a fight that I saw with two guys for it and the kid The father took him with the van and they both fought and then The kid was getting beat up and my friend goes enough and my friend goes no no let's fight to this song You know one more song and my buddy's like this guy's a fucking bull, you know

nature Sometimes has to happen You know nature just sometimes have to have has to happen those other three cops are gonna get charged And then they're gonna make bail And they can't go back to their houses Because their addresses are online. There's people going to Into the web and they can find anything out about you in two fucking seconds. Everything in your life is on the web Oh, yeah, so they can find out where you live

They could be in a house and blow your fucking house up and that's exactly we're not gonna on this time here This let me tell you a short story that I've said before and I'm not very proud of And people will deny this to this day It's very deniable. It's so deniable That when tj english the author that came on our book Well with the the the guy of even our turn and our van and our turn. No the other book The one that the would believe she though tore it doesn't matter

It was about a guy that runs battle Jose battle When tj english came on here when came on here I turned them on to a commissioner in union city. He was a dear friend Who i'm not saying anything bad, but I love lucio finandez So lucio loved the idea so much of tj you know

During this book and talking about so much union city influence even though it wasn't a positive light They were gonna give him a night at the pcg theater in union city And let him have a panel talk Well the day before that panel they cancelled that talk Why and there's a reason to that because that era Would have also brought up a certain question That came up in union city Got swept away and went away

Like a bad memory that nobody remembered for me till this day I'll never forget it because I saw the whole move going down Union city new jersey in the 70s Was cuban from seven street to 48th street Those are just the rules they had moved out the and they had taken over a street called bergen line And central avenue were portarecans and then the italians went to hoboken or They stayed the the tine in the iris stayed on like new york avenue I'm just using terms anybody who's listening from that area will know like st. Michael's

There was a lot more irish people down there and despite 14th street. That's not there anymore There was a guy that used to come into my mom's bar a white dude with That would come in with like a long transjacket and he was a detective He would come in ever since I could remember Sit at the bar get a drink My mom would put an envelope on the table. He'd slip in his pocket and he'd give my mom a kiss and leave Then there was another guy that was a beat cop. His name was chino. He was a cuban chinese cop He would walk in sit down have a drink in uniform because he was the beat cop

And then my mom would slip him an envelope So everybody was taken care of So the whole cuban community probably gave that envelope out Because the cops knew they weren't the numbers or something like With with my mother was always gambling, you know, and there was drug use at the bar But there was drug use of every bar. That wasn't the main thing I had to be in the sixth grade so let's pitch for 76

75 if any of you guys are interested and you want to look this up, you know And tell me what you find This is my recollection of it My recollection of this story is plain and simple My mom was happy the bar was doing great And all of a sudden one night my mom I heard her on the phone In the kitchen Talking about a cop that come in she was probably on the phone with another cop

Saying hey Why is this guy bothering us? We already make a payment What and this guy I don't know what he was saying because I was a kid And I knew a business my mother was talking about but it didn't really At that age I I gave my mother advice if I saw something like a cop car or if I heard something So All right, no big deal

Maybe 10 days later I'm in the back Shooting pool. Okay. We had the pool stand table stuff So I'm in the back shooting pool And there was like a wall in between the back and the bar And the pool area there was more tables back there And there was a little small bar and a stage back there And that's where the woman's bathroom was

So I was shooting pool and I said fuck it. Let me just go to the bathroom I went to the bathroom and while I was in the bathroom, I heard yelling and screaming And I heard a man's voice And my mother's voice so I really put my dick away And when I ran out and my mother said I was important. Okay. Yeah, I mean I mean stay right there Don't don't don't live from here And he was telling my mom that if he didn't have his fucking money Her and all her friends were gonna start fucking suffering and all this shit

And my mom dropped a name on him contact that guy And he'll tell you that we already have an association here, right and the cops like fuck that guy I'm doing my own fucking rules here And he turned around and laughed and he had long hair and a mustache Which was very anti-cuban in those days My mother did not allow me to have long hair. There was no fucking Like there was no way like that if I brought a friend home with long hair They call him pelu

You said pelu oh no sagate compadre Pelu means just a hairy guy. You know just a a hairy motherfucker so I uh It's time for another joint. What the fuck are we doing here? So I witnessed this yelling going on and he turns around he says i'll be back And you better whatever the fuck is going on. So I saw my mom was pretty shaking up And then

I don't know I asked her about it and she gave me some half ass to answer, you know something And then about a week later. I was in another bar in west new york because my stepfather Uh went had a flower shop. He worked for the guy that had a flower shop on 57th and Hudson La Casa la Florida the house of flowers and We went we went up there and next to it there was a couple Cuban bars on that street They bring the a bunch of

of bars if you went down west near cafe at cafe la tita all these bars are there and I wanted to The guy's name was fairly that owned. I still remember the guy I used to he's him him him my stepfather and my mom. We all go to mech games And today I still buy jewelry from his nephew So whenever I go to Union City, Mike's is my main man. So, uh I was in his bar shooting pool like I went up there with one to take care of something Because I was a pool shooter that that's why I thought I was fucking me

I just I love like a seven-year-old kid playing. Oh, I love shooting pool and then And I heard a bunch of Cuban guys talking about this guy The coming daddy on night That this guy's gonna end up fucking it's gonna be a mistake for him blah blah blah blah blah This I don't know what this is but these I got two fucking weeds from fucking urban trees the other day Both of them. That's the weed they gave Chris Cuomo son to get over the fucking COVID. You understand? That's how good this shit is Now I don't know dick about dick about a week later. It's after school I in those days I used to go to school till three

Change and shoot up to the bar. We cut through the woods shop right and walk nine blocks to my mother's bar And I'd earn I'd fucking put away beer boxes I used to play stickball outside. I got a slice of pizza Pino's pizzeria Or fucking Hernandez sandwich shop whatever I used to go up there And one day I walked in and all those Cuban business owners are sitting there. Wow The one guy's name was sad pussy boy. Oh, please take him fairly a bunch of Cuban owners And they're talking about what's gonna has to be done with this fucking Cuban cop And this make you nervous or you just you just recognize it. I just was like fuck these Cuban this Cuban guy is getting under their skin

I wonder what's gonna have what's the move here? I Wonder what the move is here Because all these guys talk a good game, but I wonder what the fucking move here is I heard him saying he's got to go fuck him And not even a week later and I wasn't in sixth grade I wasn't LaVito's class because now I remember that when I got out of the class that day The teachers were talking in the hallway and I went home and I felt something that happened

I got on my bike that day I didn't even have a chance to cut through the woods And I rode my bike up, which was a nightmare in those days You got those monster hills in north bergen and I got up there when I walked in all those cubans are celebrating Drinking fucking snorting and they're like they shot the cop last night at rapido taxi I guess he went to make a payoff and they fucking Bullet bullet riddled this motherfucker the death and my friend Mario Arias was in Las Vegas He's friends with the guy that was in the cop with car with him

And he said for some reason the cop car couldn't open up that the car got jammed That's why he couldn't get out to help his fucking friend. Oh, and they just put a statue up with that cop about Two or three years ago, maybe they shot a picture of his son with the statue up in jersey in jersey but that crime Changed the face of you didn't see they closed my mother's bar Because things had to happen because that cop got killed But the cops didn't really they go they caught a pansy They arrested a pansy like they arrested a guy a mile away with guns in his car

And they arrested him for the fucking murders didn't arrest the right guy those murders. That's crazy And I'd never forgotten that That's when I realized that Some people Don't fuck around Not only do they go after a fucking guy They went after an undercover cop Well, I mean that's the thing that all this stuff has shown me like you always hear like they always heard like

Oh, the jews could have could have taken over or like the back when we had slaves here Like if they there there was so many of them that they could have taken over if they rebelled and stuff Like with the amount of people that were protesting Those cops were scared like if if everyone wanted to attack well, they taught every detective in la Every cop is on the job vacations have been canceled Every police officer is at work minimum 12 hour days all in Police gear if you're a detective all those cases have been dropped I know for a fact they're preparing for Hudson county park on tuesday

In new jersey nor the new jersey, you know new work had a hard time last night But what I get from all this is you know This is what people that was a micro situation. Yeah, that was one they didn't even let it slip And I'll tell you what the cops never really prosecuted anybody because They were sick of the problem Now they were dealing with a problem. This guy's fucking up our fucking shit Yeah, we're all making fucking nice little cash shaking down these Cuban bookies Nobody's saying not not even them. They know that there's a price to fucking pay

They're not even complaining. They're happy. They buy us a drink. They offer us a meal They don't want to go to jail either Bookmaking is a harmless fucking vice. Nobody's getting raped in the ass Nobody's getting fucking Harvey. Nobody's getting the book making is a harmless fucking vice there is Degenerate gamblers that's when it becomes a vice and that's when there's theft and stuff like that And I've been there the reason I robbed michael jeweler's is because I owe the fucking bookie, right, you know money So I do get that aspect of it

but I don't even know what the fuck. No, but I think I think that's what I didn't even thought about I don't know what the fuck you were talking about jews and 900 and the protest. I have no idea. All I know is that There's one police officer for 432 fucking people in LA Is that true? That's true That's the that's the wow police To people ratio. That's why the national guard got caught then

So the national guard is here now. I want to thank By the way, a lot of people reached out to me last night On facebook and twitter to check in how are you? I even wrote a couple fucking jokie poos last night because I was watching the fights But at the same time I was switching over To the riots and I couldn't believe what I was seeing And when they were talking about the fairfax district and then a friend of mine called me and he goes, hey

Are you busy? I go. No, he goes. I'm headed down to canner's to get a sandwich. Do you want me to bring you some? That was a joke that shit was going on in front of canners. Yeah, so canners is like a Old jew deli that's a natural fucked fucking leader for that, you know, like everybody got their dicks like that at whatever But uh, that's you know, when I was and my poor wife, I looked at her face Because my poor wife called this Yeah, three weeks ago in hollywood. She goes, you see that big glass right there hollywood shoes That thing's gonna be gone if there's ever a riot like you think they'll be all right and she goes Eventually these people can't keep living like this

That's in it, but and not and and some rioters god bless them. They had masks I was gonna say the good time to have a mask. It's a good time to have a fucking mask at least to have fucking mask on There were some looters that had dick on they had nothing on so But back to the story with my mother that's what taught me Like that scared me Like that situation scared me it let me know That somebody could disappear that fast yeah

Like I still remember taking my bike and going up to the next day before there was csi and shit And you could see all the bullets in the wall They had cleaned up the blood and stuff or you could see all the bullet the taxi Fucking place was closed. It was called rapido taxi He was shaking them down too because they were selling coke delivering coke in the fucking cab That's why I was called rapido. They were zipping around with no customers. What are you doing? What are you doing? You're delivering fucking blow So ever since I saw that story I saw that anything is possible in this life

Okay, I do not advocate killing cops Or any of that at all they're there to serve and protect and we're all gonna need them at one time You see a cop in this time whether you bump into them at 7-11 Look at them in the eye and say thank you for what you do That's how we could start by changing this Acknowledging them as human being Say hello to them. How's it going, man? I know it's rough out there. This doesn't reflect on you That's what i'm gonna do now when I see a cop is asking how the fuck are you doing, man? Are you okay?

I agree. I think I think the one thing that needs to change Is there needs to be a better system to actually call out the bad ones though? All the ones who are being x2 violence. Well, let me tell you what happens. Okay Do you think Harvey was the only Harvey in LA? Absolutely not. Okay So guess what happened to those other harvies? What's that? They stopped being Harvey and hopefully Okay, this may be Well, you know, I mean right now lieutenants sergeants at those meetings are going

Jesus christ guys You know that there's a camera on every fucking block You know that there's a camera on every fucking pole on every corner And you know that there's a satellite taking pictures from above They'll find you any which way like all these looters are going to get arrested anyway. Oh, yeah, because they have that new technology That if you get seen they get picture it's going to be crazy

This is going to get just because you didn't get caught doesn't mean shit they have a bunch of new technologies and whatnot but This is all I'm saying you want to change things You know increase Your relationship with the police Talk to them more. You know, they have to You know If you live in a small community

Make the cops come out and talk to the community You know get to know the cops delivering you're in your district. I mean I live in the valley. I don't even know I see There's one day. I see 200 cops And then two days, I don't see a cop at all And we live right we're right here four blocks from the police station You know, I heard if you walk in there, there's nobody in there Well, they blocked off all the way. No, no, no. I heard that if you walk in there on a regular day Oh, okay, and ring the desk bell

Nobody comes in really. Yeah, like there's nobody over there Wow, it's like they come in as they come in. Oh, can I help you? Yeah, somebody robbed my bicycle Oh, give this guy a report next week like that. I'm really give a fuck Okay, so this has to change We all have to change Not just a cop that stepped on the neck. Fuck him. He's a dead man Fuck him. He's guys. He's dead. Yeah him the chin chin brothers and the other white guy Those guys are dead in the cell

And there's nothing you could do. You know what the jail mates the jailers are gonna do What can they do? They know it's inevitable When you walk into my prison and you walk in dead man walking They could only protect you so much these Invicts are gonna figure out a way to get into that cell and fucking kill you even in like protective custody Like protective custody. You still gotta go to the bathroom. You still got an hour in the yard You still got a thousand things. There's a guy that's got 30,000 fucking years from fucking children up the ass And he's got no tv in his room

That you give that guy you put 500 on his books see what he'll do for a tv in his room Right, you just gotta find the right guy There's a guy in jam. That's got 4,000 years and his family stopped talking to him And he lives off 30 cents an hour in the wood shop And he don't have a black and white tv in his room He don't eat jello He's already got a thousand years What's the difference? What's another 40?

They'll stab him right out. They'll slice his fucking neck to make sure He bleeds out. That's it. It's that quick and it's i'm sorry. I gotta say this to you guys It's a reality of life and it's true Well, what I would love to hear is from the other from policemen who are like because I always just think about like At every job i've had there's always one knucklehead who does something wrong and then everyone gets in trouble Like I imagine if you had a day off yesterday and then you had to spend 12 hours in the la heat In riot gear All of them all them right now are pissed are pissed. They're all pissed

Because they didn't do a fucking thing But maybe someone in their past is a cop. They did something Yeah, this is why you have to be careful. You have to be helpful It takes a certain genre To say you want to be a policeman You know, we've had the dirtiest cop in the history of cops In this office. Yeah, and I still talked to him from time to time You know, my dad, I still talked to him. He made a mistake

If you know anything about my dad seven five prison He's still fucking nuts in his real life. Oh, yeah, that's something you're never gonna fucking replace But my dad never fucking killed right a fucking, you know, they went to robbing They went to robbing. You know what I was into robbing when it comes to drug money. It's fair fucking game, bitch I made mistakes. I robbed some people that I shouldn't rob them paying deeply for it right now But 80% of my action was always drug dealers. That's when my dick got hard Making a drug dealer go to his safe open it up and everything's gone. He can't figure out How I got the combination to the safe because I know a guy who's fucking his wife, you know

You know, I ain't like shit like that like right. I always was into those things So I don't even know how we got to this topic. I wish America heals you know I'm sorry if you're having a hard time with this A lot of people have a hard time with this believe it or not. Many people have a hard time with this This is an embarrassing situation Like I said, you want to fucking change things

Next time you see a cop say hello Looking his eyes and go, how are you doing today, man? You're all right. I'm sorry about what happened Maybe you should apologize for what happened Maybe he is a good cop and maybe he doesn't deserve the scrutiny he's getting I see them throw things at cop cars yesterday I see and I am you know what else I saw out there yesterday a lot of young Stupid kids and I saw myself at 21 not to the 21. I was doing shit like that I was doing other crazy stuff. So you understand? I'm not totally against

What's going on? Something has to change At some point. I don't want to wake up one day and read that lee got shot on a police stop You know, I know lee 20 fucking years. He like lee has no reason to get shot at a police stop Well, they found the 22 on them now. I gotta go down and go lee doesn't even have a water pistol Do you know what I'm saying? Like I really like I feel fucking bad I know the brother came out in houston, texas and said that was very fucking Beautiful the words that the brother said kill a mic fucking

Talk some fucking beauty, you know, there's still some brothers that look at this with knowledge and say look We lost another brother to a stupid motherfucker But us turning up a city on fire isn't the fucking answer It's for us to sit down Get to know who's taking care of us Get them to check themselves now a lot of those cops that have that behavior are checking themselves You know, I think Me personally if I was any organizer if I was crazy

If I was 35 if I was a 23 year old black man today And I was already in the system and I know what it feels like to be in the system My main goal would be to break into that fucking jail and hunt them down And just take over the fucking jail and kill them in the fucking jail Kill them where he stands in the jail, but you can't do that Let the system take care of them. There's no way Remember when the chinese guy

Got taken off the plane for united. What did I say once they saw that blood the tape? That's not going in front of a jury They're gonna settle sit the suit. You know what the city is gonna get How much The city of minneapolis is gonna get sued for Because all and if they take it to court All they gotta do is show that piss come down Have you seen it when I can't watch it now when you watch it after a couple minutes

You see that he's not moving And you see that all of his extremities let go and he's pissing himself And he lets the piss go down But anyway, enough with that fucking heartbreaking news now If I gotta tell you guys a tremendous story, I had a tremendous accident last week and involved thc Oh my god guys Uh one of the forms That the anxiety is hitting people, you know

I read this about a month and a half ago and it was very interesting That one of the ways anxiety is hitting people Is the stages is once your anxiety starts to go down your memory starts to lose So I just told you guys a story from 1976 But the last Fucking week every night when I do my weight watch it, I gotta ask my wife what we ate for lunch Fuck So all day long

I'm thinking that I call Lee yet Like this has been horrible for me. I'm okay now. I'm okay. I got a mild heart attack Last uh labor day memorial day that was extreme But I worked it out without drugs by myself Well, I smoked a joint I can't lie to you in a parking lot and I walked around a parking lot and I worked it out Well, I have you got some walking meditation But I think it was Wednesday We did some sort of podcast in here. Oh

Tom poppers right was Tom poppers Well My one of my goals in life is to kill Lee not with my hands or nothing like that. I love them too much For him to call me and say I can't stop eating chicken wings You know, you shouldn't give me that edible That type of shit. I'm gonna have to go to the hospital. I can't stop eating chicken wings, you know So whenever I go to the weed store, I always buy some for Lee and I buy some for myself Sometimes I forget to give it to

But most of the times I give it to him and he gets pissed off at me. Fuck Hmm You said those things like I suck on milkshakes. You just like I love this I hate fucking hard milkshakes But this roach is kicking right now. You guys who smoke reefer. No when you got good weed That's this roach is worth 200 in prison right now. I get the small deuces of this little roach It's hitting like a fucking. Oh my god It's hitting like a dick on three viagra

Oh my goodness, I love smoking. I'll be a power you motherfuckers. Anyway, so I forget what I do throughout the day now because I don't fucking know I write a list. I have a notebook And I write a list of things I have to do and then on the top. It's the things I have to do that are loose What does that mean? I have to go to the post office at one point But there's no hurry right if I'm on that street and I see there's no line I go to the post office. You know this week. I gotta call my chick about the haircut

I did my own little jail prison haircut. I did my own little die giant. I'm looking good So everything's good dad Uh, I want to go back for acupuncture this week. I want to take a step and go back for acupuncture I want to know the thought last week. I'm late in the bed. I started having cryotherapy Because that's cold. The cold that lives in that motherfucker. Yeah, he's just waiting. He loves the cold weather COVID COVID's in there skiing and shit fucking jumping up and down. So I'm gonna take a you know, I love u.s Cryotherapy I'll eventually go back to put a cat because I want to work on my stress my uh, right my whatever

Fight a flight before I get on stage It looks like the Irvine improv the brand improv Uncle Joe will be there from the 11th to the 13th. That's what it looks like so far Don't tell nobody I told you I'm just letting you guys know if you have tickets for the 14 Through the six don't get rid of them Because we're gonna get together on the 11 through the 13th. All right, don't tell nobody It's just between us. I'll make it official next week if I know it's real

So I gotta work on this too. I've been on stage in 90 days I don't want you guys to think you're gonna get fucking Uh, the best Joe D as you ever got but you know what me I live and die on stage for your motherfuckers because that's how I do it I'll go up. I got a couple things written. Trust me. I got a couple Chinese jokes. I got a couple fucking Uh, you know stepping on your neck jokes. I I got nothing. I got nothing people. I wish I had something I got nothing this uh Whole time period has been a zero and creativity for me I have outlined the book and I've done a good job there

And I told you the silver lining Was gonna come out of it If anything this my silver lining is my family Uh, we haven't gotten weaker. We've gotten stronger Uh, I feel for my little girl every day, but every day we put something together. We bail her out yesterday We got a call at three. We met with Donovan and his kids My daughter puts a little mask on they ride the bikes by the way Thank you people for all the emails and the bicycling encouragement

Uh, this is the second week third week in a row I'm gonna have over 61 action points on weight watches Because I went back to the bicycle because I couldn't walk no more My knees are hurting. I went for an MRI on my hamstring I got a 130 call today with the doctor This afternoon to see what they want to do with the back of my knee. Something's happened because you want to talk to me So walking just bothers me too much. It just bothers me too much I could do squats. I could lift weights. I could do kettlebells

But the walking after like two three blocks Something happens to my my leg starts to stiffen up It doesn't let the knee bend So it looks like I'm walking like a leper like one of san lasso is fucking especially on concrete On concrete. So I knew something was up You know, I got this MRI a month and a half ago. I was scared to go because of the The virus I finally went last week. It was great. You wait in your car They come on get you they take you through the back door right to your room

You got everything on your gloves or whatever they did my thigh So let's see what's going on there. And that's it. Uh, oh, we're talking about There you go You know tfc I go to a weed store in the morning to eliminate the bad germs But uh, ever since the fifth business has been bad So if you're around the studio city area, you want to get some bad as weed Go to urban trees. That's what I've been smoking. That's why I'm so fucking stoned

I usually go to urban trees. I usually take a ride. I usually sometimes go get my wife co-cuts. I try to go to Whatever to get seafood if I have to or chop meat for her or whatever she needs I have that two-hour window. I make my calls I do my business, but I primarily go to the weed store And guys I gotta tell you something I don't know if I tell you guys a story. There was a cookie years ago That a guy eats okay, so no no way before so okay I'm talking 2009 when edibles got strong

When joe rogan was pushing the lollipop Those faggy fucking lollipops that did nothing for nobody. They were like eight milligrams. Those things did nothing for nobody There was this guy down in Santa Monica that had a place called the pharmacy and he still has one in venice But whoever ran it want somebody there made a cookie that was 12 bucks that put you in jupiter I mean even back then I could handle it Because you know me I got the fucking whatever of a fucking animal But I did seem something did seem strange But we not talk about this. You told me on the phone

That's something didn't see that something about that cookie here about that cookie and then somebody ate it like six months into it And they went to the hospital and they realized they had like something in it. There was another drug in there like right valium or fucking And uh Vicodin there was they had melted Something else into these cookies they had put some more shit into these cookies That's why people are feeling the way they are Now since you and I have been together how many

Just uh just to let the people at home know How many edible brands have we seen? Come in and out of business Like fucking at least ten at least can you believe that in seven years We've seen from Anti anti Dolores Dolores the fucking cookies the stars of death banana bread Yeah, we saw so many levels of edibles that came in one so guys those those cookies and monos

So guys don't fucking lie to me when it comes to edibles I know what an edible feels like and I know the type of high I should get okay I Go to this play now. I gave Lee the quicksies. They're good. Oh, yeah, those are good. They're good. They fuck you up They'll put you out. This is like a little review. You guys like reviews. I'll give you a review So I don't know what are these that edibles are called Whatever the fuck they call level Or something like that. It's 10 little pills. They even look scary

They're a little little tiny little pills and it says that 10 milligrams a piece One day I gave Lee five of them And he goes I can feel these already And I can see that his whole demeanor changed and I left and I go that's wild That I gave 50 milligrams to Lee Lee's used to 200 to get the party started 300 to make him fall asleep on twitch But 50 shouldn't do shit to him. It's like a shrimp cocktail for Lee right 50 actually fuck Lee up I

Took the other five and I call a little buzz off. It's I've been buying these things on and off Once a week and I get I give a couple of lee and I eat the other seven whatever I feel in my heart. They don't do nothing that much, but oh my god This wednesday I go in there and I buy two batches One for me and one for Lee I get in the car. You know me. I always got water in the car in case you bump into an edible So I got water in the car. I knew I was going to the weed store. So I brought the water with me I had nothing on the books

The girls are going to the beach. Oh, yeah Yes, the girls are going to the beach and I knew I had four hours to kill I didn't fucking know I thought I had the whole afternoon to myself So I ate I just want to fuck around guys. I opened up the fucking thing I popped it open I dropped all that out of them Why fuck around? It's 10 30 in the morning 11 in the morning. Why are we doing this to ourselves?

Why are we playing this back and forth? I just ate all 10 of them said now this is better I'll get munchies for dinner and I won't eat late at night Right. This is better. This is better. Well, who am I kidding? If we get high at six that means a two I got a ham and cheese sandwich in my hand I don't want a ham and cheese sandwich in my hand two in the morning So we fucking I eat these this batch of 10 and I go home And I did whatever I had to do and I took the bag out

Because I also got weed and maybe two quick eases I got two jars of fucking the tea. I always get the tea the kikomo tea delicious I get the tea to put me out at night. I drink three of those bags in that Jesus in a cup of fucking tea I'm I'm got last night. I woke up midnight. I was watching people ride I did some work on the computer. I went to bed at 12 30. I woke up at 8 30 like nothing this morning. So Uh I went home After the podcast with Lee and I realized that I had not brought the pills back for late

So I said, let me pop these fucking pills. I go, what am I gonna do five and five? I go, let me go for the 10 spot and right there at 3 30 boom I eat the 10 fucking pills I think you smoked during the podcast with tom. Like it's not like you take breaks about the day either Oh, no, no, I was going strong that day. So I fucking I don't know what happened Also, I hear the door open up And I hear daddy and I'm like, oh fuck

So we come over here, you know, I go, why did you? Bring her home for And she goes, I thought you want to do the podcast. I go, no We were gonna do that tomorrow But she goes, she's so excited about doing the podcast. I go, okay, so then we come over here Uh, you totally did. Yeah. Yeah, I came over here And then again, she never wants to go home and I don't want to take her home I'm the type of guy I wanted to get out. I don't want to in the fucking house. I want to out of the fucking house

So I take her from here and we go to the park And at the park I'm fucked up I can fucking feel it I'm getting fucked up But I'm not getting fucked up in a good way Look at you start sweating a little bit. Yeah, because I was out in the sun. Oh, no. Yes That's why I'm like working out high and I had a tin full of water And all of a sudden I got fucking super thirsty and drank the tan

The can of tin or something like that And then something happened We went I went back home with her and my wife said let's go somewhere We were gonna go somewhere to pick up a dessert. Oh that place is going out of business The pie place So they have a sugarless Uh, it's on lower canyon I'm sure 20 that's we got a business. Oh no dog

The other one was going the other one in van eyes went out of business So they said please support that one. So me and my wife said, you know what man? We haven't been there a long time. I don't want them to close it My wife went they got sugarless apple pie. Oh, sure. Not bad. Yeah, my daughter got the whatever chocolate whatever And my wife got lemon meringue We just went the foot, you know, listen, sometimes you just gotta go to add normality. You know what I'm saying? We were our masks The whole thing by the way back my wife asked me is there a problem

And I go no, why is she because you're fucking driving you're driving over the lines You're all over the fucking place and then I got home I took like two bites of the sugarless apple pie And that's all I remember and then I remember my daughter waking me up going daddy Good night. I'm going good night Look at the clock. It's 9 30. I go. What do you mean? Good night? Oh and my wife walks and she goes joey Look at the shape of you. You better sleep at three hours. You have drool all over your face dog

I touched under here and I had like a little drool under there. Oh, that's what you know. Yeah, it was disgusting And next thing you know, I'm alone again. I must have passed out while she was talking to me And I got up like two hours later And you know, I got up like two hours later. I don't know what I had the guy had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich And I fucking went right to sleep And the next morning I woke up to like a lukewarm house Everybody was daddy went to changes last night My daughter was like, what happened to you last night? I thought daddy was just tired

You know, whenever I get anxiety because monday the anxiety attack was so huge That I got home. I crashed right my anxiety attack like made me go to sleep that night So I just told him I got an anxiety attack. Dude. That's what happens when I fall asleep here at the office You're like, how did you fall asleep? You could when you get that high you just sit there and then you just wake up I just fell asleep And fucking she was like good night daddy Because that's what woke me up. So basically we got home

At like six quarter to seven I took two pieces of the sugarless apple pie And I just went right to the fucking crib on the couch And then I got in bed so The day after that I'm out of the shower And I'm rubbing the cbd lion cream on my legs right come on come on when I come out of the shower I use it as a moisturizer And then my underwear out of my wife walks in the bedroom

And she goes by the way, what the fuck was wrong with you yesterday? And I go, you know, there's some time. No, she goes. No, you don't you don't know how it is You were driving all fucked up. You were fucked up I go, I know they backfired And she goes, well, they can't be backfired no more. You have a seven year old daughter and you're 57 years old act like it And she walked out. I'm like, what the fuck am I gonna do? I'm getting yelled at I haven't gotten yelled at since I'm 10 So I had to give a break to edibles for a few days. I gotta let them forget it. You know what I'm saying?

It's like chinese people got to stay off the 101 for a couple of weeks Let us forget about who and then you make a slow comeback. I'm not mad. No, but these are just jokes people We're going through a hard time here. I'm just happy that I could be a part of uh Taking one hour of your mind off it Just that's it. That's all I wanted to say today. That's it. How did it feel? Because you you normally don't get like to that deep like how did it feel going that deep? Oh, it felt terrible Really? I had no control I had no control when you're drooling. What does that tell you? Are you either retarded or you got problems? I got problems

I got problems I did this I did and I haven't done edibles since that night. Really? Yeah, that was it That was it because I was okay I was okay in april and then I started dabbling a little bit a couple nights a week couple in the afternoon Because I don't really feel them that much in the afternoon to a certain point of it So I find myself giggling But because of this mental thing I got with this anxiety shit, right? I forget I take two here at one. Oh, and then I'll go home and pop another two or four or five

I don't know how you forget and then at nine I'll pop another two And by 10 30 i'm on fucking fire And then I remembered wait a second I pop two There's times I'll take two out and put them down and forgot a piece of paper fall on top of them So I forgot I take those two and I'll pop another two And then I'll move the paper and I'll go. Oh, I didn't eat those two and I'll take those two That's the shape of fucking life. I'm in so Please forgive me. I'm trying my best

I just wanted to get your mind off the fucking world and all the horrors and uh Giggle a little bit and let you know it's okay to be human. I had a bunch of acts to test me dog You know, I can't fucking drink a lot of shit But when I ride the bike in the morning I drink a pre Energy drink, okay Like a red thing that has amino acids in it

And I just fill up the whole water bottle to the top and down it And then I bring a big water bottle with me, right? So I you know, I'm riding my fucking bike all around So This happened to me twice last week. So I gotta pee my fucking brains out and I'm on fucking Uh, uh, not cold facts. What's the riverside? Okay. I'm on riverside and the piss is coming out of me because my fucking The bicycle seat is squeezing my nuts. I got one nut that's going numb from that fucking bicycle I don't care. I'm 57. I don't need to know more. I'm not pregnant. Nobody. So

I'm riding with one nut and I gotta pee. So now I gotta dash home Before I fucking pee I get home. I put my bike on the floor. I barely get the key in And I'm running in but I gotta get my helmet off to pee. You can't pee with your helmet on so I'm trying to get the fucking helmet off because I wear a helmet I'm gonna have a fag and I got a red one. I had a choice between a black one and a red one I went with the red one. I said fucking if I'm gonna be a fag. I'm going all in after this I'm just going to Eric Roach's house with a jar of Vaseline and a thank you note. So fucking So fucking I uh

Dog I'm trying to get this fucking helmet off And the pee is starting to come out of my dick, right? I'm talking about I could feel about the bust So I just had a running air and pee with my bicycle humming on And I flushed the toilet when I went to wash my hands the mirrors right there And I looked at myself with this helmet and I asked myself. What is my life come to? I was okay. I was all right. I was doing coke. I was robbing people. I was having a good time Now I'm a bicyclist with a wife a kid and I'm gonna have a fruit cake I wouldn't dream of doing anything with a fucking helmet on

I have this image of you with like your pants all the way on the floor like your pants just down Just peeing with the helmet on at 60 years old. That was me Then that's not it. Don't even stop there. You know, I go for my little rides, right? Well, after I finished my workout, there's another drink. I got a drink It's a green drink. Oh my god And I drink that to supply my fucking nutrients. It's like a banana seed I drink that I get in the car. I got to go for a ride Now I get to certain areas to pee and I don't want to come home

Because if I go home, that means the kids are gonna get me my wife. I want to stay out for a while I know I can't make it to the gate because I got to get out of the car press the code in And go to the bathroom. So I got to pee somewhere in the streets, right? So I'm looking around for peep places where to pee You're not going to believe this So I make a right into the YMCA parking lot because there's nobody in there I fucking get out of the car. I turn around. I go to take my dick out and guess what? I didn't put the car in park

The car was on drive the car is driving down on the fucking The hunger ready to hit somebody. I'm running with my dick in my sweatpants like a fountain. It's running It's just leaking. I'm smelling this piss because I'm on these new Multivitamins that smell like piss when you take them now when you piss when I take a piss it smells so bad I'm chasing my car Down fucking the parking lot with my dick out. I finally get in the car I'm getting I'm going through 18 levels of fucking anxiety. I put the thing in and as I'm switching the thing I'm just pissing

And half of it is going on the floor, you know and I told you I got to put my skin back on my dick If not, it's just a flapper coming out with water So I had to walk in my house to pee on my pants Shoot into the bathroom and take a shower before anybody fucking noticed me Was this before after the the thc mistake? I don't know I just love the like cherry yellow. Do you want I know the next thing she said to me she goes man Your pee smelled something horrible in the laundry basket

Or one of the cats pissed on it before it went into the laundry and I blamed it on the cat I go fucking gray's been pissing a lot later. It wasn't me. So if you guys think you're having a rough week Listen, you're dealing with the dumbest motherfucker you've ever dealt with in your life. How far away did the car get from you? I don't even want to tell you When I ran through it, I was out of breath to do it. So just just just leave me alone. Please. Just leave me alone Oh my god And that is the week of Joe Diaz. That was my weekend guys. Listen It's monday morning. I know a lot is going on

I want to thank you for taking the time out and listening Just to let your mind go somewhere else for a fucking hour. You know what I'm saying? This is what this is about. I'm not cbs news. I'm not mbc news. I'm not the smartest guy in the world I'm just trying to get your mind off things for one hour. Let you know. We're gonna be all right We are all right and uncle joey loves you and that's it before we leave real quick. Listen, you know, I love them I've been using them. I've been selling them and I love them to death and that's on it. I love alpha brain I love the shroom tap. I love the mexican fucking chocolate protein powder. I just love what they do I love that they have a guarantee

That if you don't if you don't feel satisfied with alpha brain, they'll give you the product back that means a lot to a guy like me I know it is to work for the fucking money. I know what it's like So don't fucking feel bad. You understand me? Honor is tremendous tremendous. You have no fucking idea How alpha brain feels after a couple weeks. You have no idea how the shroom tech immune and the shroom tech sport work You guys listen to the podcast. I don't get sick that much I believe in shroom tech immune and I believe in myself, you know, you work on my own immune system and whatnot But anyway, do me a favor

Go over to honor.com right now. Take a look at the fucking What they got between the cmt oil the fucking The alpha brain the shroom tech the shroom tech sport. They got kettlebells. They got club bats I think they're out of them and I can't get you 10% off on them But as far as supplements, I got you any supplement they got in stock right now Let me tell you something that hemp you mix the hemp with the alpha brain When you work out, you're like a fucking laser beam. You understand me? So do yourself a favor go to honor.com right now

Take a look at what they got the offer and press in church and get Honor delivered right to your house and get 10% off your first order. I can't help you any more than that I'm doing you the biggest fucking favor in your life because I'm gonna turn you on to a supplement That's gonna keep make your fucking head spin because you know how uncle Joey does it I'm not here to fuck around if I fucking push it. I fucking use it. Let me talk to you about something to house too Real quick here. Well, I forget God damn it. This always happens to me when I'm in fucking doubt. Anyway Listen, like I told you the beginning of the podcast if you're wearing a fucking wig

come on guys Listen, I dye my hair when you look at me, you know, I dye my hair I don't dye because I want I dye because I do videos And then when I do the fucking white hair videos, I told you I forgot to put the ink Into the thing. That's how stupid I am. I'm telling you guys. I'm no genius I got the same problems you got But anyway, we all got a problem and we all have a problem. We could deal with it now Either you could fucking wear a wig

Or you can let your hair grow long And put that piece and make make a stink that you had there Stop it. We could all read through the bullshit Face the facts two out of three guys are gonna lose their hair by the age of 35. That's just the way it goes It's hereditary. I know a lot of years of balding and I don't mind looking at a smooth head But let me tell you something guys if I see a toupee coming at me I'm gonna fucking call one of those fucking looters to steal it from your head We don't know what's going on underneath that George Jetson fucking had to all right

Over 100,000 guys Have used keeps Keeps is tremendous. It's it's FDA approved medication Out of hair of the price you get treated online by a real doctor and you don't have to go nowhere Hang on to what you got and prevent hair loss With keeps listen. I'm 57 years old. I'm for the time from the future. I'm telling you to do something Today, I'm starting to lose my fucking hair Cut my hair wasn't that easy because I've lost this dome

Only the side keeps growing out like curly from the fucking three students like The other one Larry I think is his name is but listen, you don't need to go through this I had a friend I grew up with That he was so ashamed. He was losing his hair. He was spray painting his head Don't do that. Let's let's keep the hair you got And plant seeds and the rest of your fucking head So we can make you look like fucking Paul McCartney on the cover of let it be. All right Let's start with fucking keeps. That's how we started

Like I said over a hundred thousand guys have played for keeps with keeps and treatment starts at $10 per month, but Since it's June 1st. I know you're fucking broke. I'm gonna take care of you. I'm gonna give you the first month For free. Okay prevent hair loss Go to keeps right now keeps.com slash church again That's keeps.com slash church Spell it out keeps.com

K E E P S dot com slash church Save your fucking hairdo. It's I know you're in quarantine right now. You don't give a fuck But three more months and not getting your dick sucked You're gonna fucking want some hair and now is the time to do it Nobody's watching you now is the time to go to keeps talk to an online doctor Get your treatment and when you come back in two or three months people like bro, something changed about you Bitch, I got hair. I'm looking fucking tremendous. You understand me?

Go to keeps.com slash church right now And like I said treatment starts at $10 a month. I'm giving you the first month for free That's how I roll now. Let's hang on to yeah For keeps. All right. I want to thank on it. I want to thank for keeps But most importantly, I want to thank you guys For listening to the podcast and supporting us every week and letting us come into your lives for one hour That's all I want from you. I don't want three hours. I don't want eight hours

I ain't johnny fucking interesting here. I just want to make a point and let you guys know you're all right Let you guys know. I love you. I got your back and we'll be back on wednesday Ready to fucking rock for you cocksuckers. All right. I love you motherfuckers. I want to thank keeps I want to thank on it. But most importantly, I want to thank you guys For always having our back and smoking adjourn with us on a monday morning. Stay black. See you wednesday. Have a great day motherfuckers Kick this motherfucker muley. Why am I even telling you this shit? You