Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #807 - Crystal Powell

Episode Date: July 27, 2020

Crystal Powell, a stand up comedian seen on "Kevin Hart's: Hart in the City" and is currently shooting "America's Got Talent," joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio.  This podcast is brought to you by:   DraftKings - Download DraftKings Sportsbook now and use code CHURCH to get $1000 sign up bonus.     CBD Lion - For all of your CBD needs, from shatter to gummies, go to www.CBDLion.com and use code CHURCH for 20% off.   

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motherfucker you know what i'm saying excuse me crystal powers here you fresh from america's got talent family welcome to church welcome to church my man jay bro what's happening crystal power looking better than ever than i find out you're riding the bike 25 fucking miles yeah i got a friend joey lapour he runs a website the hills of north bergen he's a bicyclist photographer that motherfucker does 4 000 miles a month what follow him follow anybody go on facebook to the hills of north bergen it's run by my friend joey lapour good man i've known him fucking three quarters of my life he's a magician but he's a photographer and he's also a fucking bicycle right hills of north bergen yeah i see it yeah and that motherfucker takes you on a different

bike ride what did he do well he did something yesterday he's drinking a cup of coffee and it says congratulations to me 40 000 miles whoa it's fucking amazing and he goes up and down those hills he's two years see i don't do the hills i cheat now i'm flat now i'm flat like my like my wings all flat i don't know how to do the fucking i don't know how to do the fucking gears really joey we there i can't do gears you got to learn them yeah i gotta go in the tune up i don't know about that shit i'm stuck in some guy in the some guy hit me up on patreon and said joey you got to raise your seat you're killing your knees that's the only way i knew so i raised he told me to raise my seat and raise the steering wheel for my back yeah and i feel a lot better now cool your seat should be

even with your hip with your hip yeah i had a little lower because i was falling like i was fucking you know i'm an old man i fall what's happening chrystal bowie looking beautiful like chalk out the corner kind you know i'm a shithead thanks for having me i'm happy to be here you look good i'm trying but i spoke to you the other day and uh it was great talking to you there was an interesting conversation about what we're living through right now in la you know i you know you watched the news you see people across the country on unemployment i know the rent moratoriums they just pushed west hollywood's back till september 30 oh they did yeah what about la county they didn't say i don't know for sure you know but this is lee what's the number of people it was like 130

thousand just in la just like millions in the country so guys wherever you're listening from right now i want you to understand you're not going through this alone this is going on throughout the fucking world so if you were feeling bad on a monday morning get those feelings and throw them out the window motherfucker uncle joey's here bitch there's nothing you could do you know what i'm saying because that's what like when i spoke to you the other day you know i love you yeah you do you call me and check i love all my people yeah but uh the same i keep getting the same thing from anybody i talked to i tell you how powerful it is it even comes over the internet when i talk to people now on the internet a lot people i've been following me for years

i feel like they'll tell me what they're going through yeah joey man thank you for the podcast the other day that was the worst day of my life i just found out my company's moving my wife's lost a job you know like everybody's going everybody's getting it's everybody it's not just okay if it was just covid we get it if it was just covid we get it but now we got parades people are mad at each other there's so much checks are involved like i told my wife killer bugs killer bugs fucking galveston got killed right galveston got leveled that that part of Texas done has fucking tons of covid and now they got fucking hit with a you know the world is in a weird spot right now and you have to accept it but the number one thing you have to do and crystal i say this for you

because that day i talked to you your spirits were good but you got what i got what keith has gotten her voice we're concerned we're concerned people we're concerned about people there's a lot of people that are missing meals a lot of people that are struggling and my heart goes out to them like i think about them what's going on i look at the businesses that are closing i totally i was on burbank the other day just i went down there and i saw this barbershop and said grand opening and motherfuckers it was closed and i went home and i typed in the name of the barbershop and they had just opened february 1st oh my goodness you know and it was three barbit you know three barbers that are well known from beveley hills they got sick of the overpricing and they've made a beautiful

website and they wanted to move to burbank to provide quality you know they each bring years of experience on satin cut bread pits that whole resume was written for nothing yeah none of that matters they opened up they opened up february 1st it took longer to write the resume and they were open because and you think about it and it's i think about it from me you and lee we put together our life savings you and us we we knew we worked together at one time and you went to shea fucking salon and you went to shea fee fee and i went to shea saloo and i'm like this guy's ripping me off and you're like they're ripping me off he's collectively they're ripping me on lee what do you got i got 30 i got 22 i got 28 let's put it together do it our way how we want to do it how

to treat people nice you ever go to this barbershop over here this is an african-american barbershop you know that i've heard of it yeah and they fucking rub your neck and shit the guy goes the extra mile when you're going there the only thing you gotta sit there like you're in the electric chair that's all day you gotta get that 730 like you get the weed done you there all day you there all day so you know i'm in there fucking one day reading like a book and they're looking at me i was reading like a weird book and they're like what the fuck are you reading yeah like it was like six brothers me and then i was like number two yeah one time i went in there i sat for like an hour and i was like i can't do it no more but a lot of people that know him sign in leave

and then he'll tell you come back and i got the coolest haircut of my life at a black barbershop when i first moved to LA i didn't know it was a i didn't know it was a black barbershop it didn't say it on a yelp i'm not even joking i was on yelp and i got there and they were playing tv and had music on at the same time and this is not a joke i finally sat down the hairdresser had to ask for help because she didn't know how to cut white like white people like i had a cowlick when i used to have hair she had to ask for help really oh my god three people look at my hair how they treat you though great that's good that's how it matters yeah as long as i treated you well yeah but no what i was saying to you is that i don't want people like right now there's a lot of comics at

home there's a lot of plumbers at home there's a lot of people on businesses that are feeling shitty about themselves and i don't want you to feel shitty about yourself i want you to remember your accomplishments i want you to think about your accomplishments and what you've done and that this has nothing to do with you what's going on right now nobody saw this coming nobody could control it you can't be angry at anybody you cannot take it out of anybody or you could do is process it keep rapping with people be in touch with your friends meet as many of your friends as you can throughout the day just for one-on-one because your body your mind your mental needs it yeah i didn't realize how much i needed till last monday when i did ryan sickle now i'm pro bono like hey

christa what are you doing if you're just gonna sit in your house at night and let those four walls crawl on you what's that do from houston the band the five the ghetto the ghetto boys uh with the measure he just died yeah uh what's that song my mind's playing tricks on me yeah right yeah yeah but when you say something i just remember the window every time i'm in service walls for the walls closing in on me yeah there's one line and i'm not you know i don't want the walls just call me yeah let's call and we can meet on a corner be outside and talk with face mask on yeah we can talk and you know stand it's important one hour one hour when you go home i tell you what you'll sleep better that night and you'll wake up feeling a lot better the next morning just that

little rap that look those little raps you know it's when you go to meet those people they are stationary right like they start standing close to you that's when you come on man you're ruining yeah i came up with a piece of mind that you give me you give me motherfucking anxiety and there's cops in that lay down that will pull by you and look at you and point at you like social distancing okay they need to though they need to and i want people to understand that that blue sticker on the floor in the grocery store is there for a fucking reason stand by the sticker get your scoop back scoop back and get on the sticker nobody gets on the sticker in the store and they're placed there for a reason it's six feet apart they want to get up lady was i went to

target today i was like here we go her buggy was all on my back if i can hear you breathing you too close you too close go back i haven't been to a store i had to in months i i do instacart which is more expensive but it's it's more expensive and they never have exactly i'm real particular on the brand and the type and they might have what you want if i'm looking for a particular type of crackers they don't have the brand that one you just get some type of cracker so i'm too particular what a banana they showed up with one banana see like that they were doing shit like that and that will make you mad when you don't yeah my wife got to get in the car yeah and shoot somewhere you know and i'm like why don't you just go yeah knock it out it was always the smaller grocery stores

had had everything like my wife tells me i ain't gonna say where i know what is lightsaw wipes lightsaw and alcohol that's what i'm looking for out you know who else have alcohol seven eleven yes seven eleven got alcohol y'all seven if you pay the little dude off uh-huh you tell him save two hand wipes on me he'll save them when they come into the door i got a little girl somewhere i can't say okay that's where i get the hand wipes the lightsaw wipes okay because every time they come in and i go buy it you tell her say you said okay i don't say nothing to her she puts my nicotine gum up and two things and you go get them yeah and i know what day she's gonna be there she gonna be there tomorrow so i'm going there tomorrow it's a good day though for the grocery and i go

early you gotta go early yeah if those places open up at eight you gotta be there eight oh one and you'll see the the wipes the weekend is the worst time to go weekend is horrible yeah never going nothing on the weekend because it's everybody's out yeah all the germans where did i go oh talk you didn't notice i got a flat oh i didn't see it when you put it in thursday morning i went out and i had a meeting at two with these dudes from the show i fucking go to do the my errands i go inside to eat lunch and my wife i run to the meeting i get the girl i had to turn around on magnolia i'm like god damn it so then i take the fucking car home and i go to the meeting the meeting started at one and we got out about two and then i got in the car on the way back in the

phone was ringing and you know on the way back magnolia you just pull over and talk you can't talk on the phone in burbank they will pull you out i just got to get there did you yeah for being on the phone no i was looking up at directions that's all they didn't even want you really yeah they don't play with you in burbank even at the light if you take your phone at don't pull your shit over at a light in burbank that's good and they've been doing that for years don't start with police brutality oh don't the dude put me over i was going to jiu-jitsu one day and that fool pulled me over and he went he ran my shit he came back and he goes don't get on the phone like i was and i was just gonna see what time it was and it was the truth i was at the light and he was at a light

and i just went and as soon as i passed him so this motherfucker pulls me over in burbank takes my shit comes right back and he goes i give you a ticket but my son would fucking kill me don't get on the phone in burbank we have to give you a ticket have a nice day mr ds nice nice oh my god damn it so what were we talking about let me tell you what yonkel joe what you're your flat so i get the fucking flat okay i go to the meeting i go let me change the flat when i get home but i get home about three it's 90 fucking four degrees and my car is right in the heat and i got a black cAA shirt with black sweat pants on because i left the house at nine in the morning yeah okay on the bike it was cold you know so i took a shower that day like i took a shower

because i had to do something but then the guy called me and he goes he couldn't meet me so i go let me do this bike ride in case i go to pinocchio's and get mozzarella a bunch of shit i can eat that shit tonight cuz you fit on your bike that's what you do so workout to eat man i come home and i'm like terry you want to help me change this flat because i don't know much about what i'm doing so together we can probably change you know i can figure it out so i get this it's all new it's like this small the fucking jack you know when i was a kid the jack weighed a hundred pounds yeah this thing is small and it's got like this thing like i'm making fucking dough like i'm making pizza dough like what the cats do you ever look at your cat they're rubbing and shit like that so he's doing

this i'm doing this thing i'm spinning i'm spinning i'm spinning the fucking car goes up i had already loosened the lug nuts i took the lug nuts off as i want to take the tire off the fucking the thing tipped oh you have no idea that can only happen to me i looked at my wife i go aren't you happy when i'm driving back what would happen if we were in oklahoma and this happened and we got to sit here with three cats and my daughter in the car wow so we ain't driving nowhere this is why we can't drive when we fucking move because it's gonna be fucking impossible yeah so you always get a flat when you have something yeah yeah no so i call sue bro because i went next door to my name but he looked at me he goes are you stupid that's a new car yeah 1800 sue bro call him up

they'll come change it dude was there in an hour i threw him 40 wow nice he changed to some Armenian kid but now i gotta find the tire he put the the bicycle tire on it so i went to good year i told me good year closed on Lancashire what good year closed by Lancashire guys good year has been there since 1997 when i lived in the valley good year has been a staple there and the funny thing was i just made a u-turn in there two weeks ago because i saw my boy was at jujitsu school so let me turn around and go say hello to my buddy and when i was in there making a u-turn i said is this motherfucker empty i go dang so i didn't even i go what the fuck was in here anyway so when i got the flat i went to my usual place and the guys like buddy i'm all booked up today and tomorrow

i can't help you and i go what the fuck is going on he didn't say nothing about when i got home my wife goes yeah five-star went out of business so now tomorrow morning i gotta get up at seven take it up to sue bro drop the tire off and see what the fuck they're gonna do but i'm turning back to call next month so i don't want to drop 300 on the tire i'm just gonna put a mexican tire around it over on burbank boba there's one up above on languish almost like america's tire so i went there but it's it was it's funny what you're talking about how like you can't feel bad like sometimes like stuff like this happens just to you and you're like god stuff keeps piling up i got a flat tire i got a ticket and and and my electric bill is high but now feels like that's happening

to every like everybody has having the worst we're gonna flat tire with what's going on in the world right now it doesn't matter you can't even get mad about it when you look at the big picture what's going on in the world right now let's say you're not even looking at the whole world just go what's going on in your personal comedic circle if you're a comic right now what about the comics that lost all the work on the fucking ships okay they ain't gonna bring those ships back for a long time you understand me a lot of people are out of work in all levels uber drivers it's just bad you know you know most people i don't know if they're gonna do the unemployment i hope they do they're gonna i hope they extend that doing a stimulus package i have to i didn't get a stimulus oh fine i didn't

get a stimulus and i just got my unemployment last month and i'm still appealing and fighting to try to get back pay because i didn't get none of that but i was so thankful to get something something so i was like yeah they gave me some so you know as they used to say beggars can't be choosy but at the end of the day i deserved that money because i wasn't able to work but you know i'm just happy that i got something now you got two options okay you got an option to stay here yeah and stick it out uh we're hoping for a quick vaccine hopefully it happens and i told but do you want to jump in on that i'm gonna jump on that vaccine i'm gonna let some other people test it out first so uh we might be going through the second wave here right now we don't know

there might be a third wave you know i see what happens with china this week that's very crucial what happens with china this week what's happening with china they threw them out of the embassy yeah all right yeah get hit the road jack they used it don't you come back no they saw those motherfuckers burning papers and shit boxing up shit they had an assembly line getting them boxes out of there just passing them down oh man so what's my second option you said i got two options weigh it out you can sit it out weigh it out here um this is the time when you have to do an ego check and say to yourself is there a gig i could get something to my income for 20 hours a week get my podcast going yeah at the same time maybe be a hostess of the restaurant

you know you know restaurant thing is easy now you know something i mean this is a time to check egos you got a pivot this is a time to check you know i'm a comic man okay okay jokes ain't putting no bacon on the stove comedy to yourself in the mirror yeah so we have a problem here that's that's uh houston we have a problem yeah so you know uh some people whatever it's where your ego is at what can you take right now what are you willing to take right now you and i had a great conversation the other day about how many women flipped out online and i am mad at you you know you're putting up free content you know i'm sitting there bored at 10 30 or something i asked my face only fans only fans only freaks in that demon time i started the only fans yeah i got my

girl jamie i love her shit but it's fucking weird how many women have just gone i ain't fine enough to do it for starters that day they wouldn't work yeah they're very beautiful and you know what i subscribe to two of them before i did my patreon okay one of them is a comedian uh because i saw she had they go why do you see she can't ever have she can't never come back and do just regular comedy her patreon her only fans there's a little run the risk case that's what i'm saying she can't come back and tell jokes they're gonna be like fucked them jokes show me the tennis and then the other girl i like to follow on i'm only i did it to learn i also follow three comedians i'm not gonna i wanted to see what a holy fans offered me the deal first okay so when i considered patreon

i was looking around i knew the features i wanted to see what type of features how much free to my head so when i chose it but i did i said let me do this let me my friends to you subscribe to somebody it was 10 bucks a month so i wanted to see what 10 bucks a month gets me okay and that one's podcast based and i subscribe for another one for seven and i subscribe for another one for 15 just to see what they would give you and so far in two weeks i've given you more content except for podcast and i answer your messages okay okay i answer everybody's messages everybody asks questions how to get it's more like a d abby okay i'm saying you know so i went with them but i subscribe to five different three patreons i'll quit after one month yeah the girl i want to

see what the girls are doing i want to see if the girls are right i want to see if the girls are writing like i would i want to i want my patreon to be a magazine yeah video audio a little bit of that shit uh maybe a stream once a week smoking reef for a video with bubbles i can make disco balls and i got so high last night after the fight because i was torturing me i was coming on by with an edible but i ended up taking it myself and then i couldn't drive over there and shit but i wanted to drive over there because i wanted to run over the cones i was just gonna move to run over the cones by my house when i'm bored there's this neighbor that puts three cones in his driveway so nobody makes a u-turn in front of the school oh my god and he just eats away at me so

whenever i get real high i just run that shit over and laugh at myself but he's been putting a brick on the like he's gotta go now you got your flat no no no no so what i'm gonna do is i'm just gonna steal him i'm gonna dress up like the red riding wolf that's gonna be hilarious car going across the street i'm gonna steal everything his cones i'm gonna take the he's got like a little ramp and then i'm gonna throw like alcohol on the floor and light it on fire like like fucking uh what's his name the crow remember when the crow at the end let that car on fire he made a little string with fuel and shit i'm gonna fuck this one this is gonna sound like a hate crime i don't give a fuck i hate people who put cones up i don't hate color i don't care i don't care if you're gender

but if you put a cone in your front in your front then you're telling me you're a fucking sack of shit and everybody i've told the story about says you know not even meeting him yeah that person sounds like a douchebag because there's a school there and he just doesn't want him to u-turn so you know what the u-turn so i'll run over your fucking cones that's the cans of the world you built me two times oh i love it it's the funniest thing i've ever seen it has been with me both times and they used to we went off on the mason's one night that was the best the dudes next to this i don't know if they're stone mason's okay they're not the real mason's they're like a half a fag club it's a big fucking building that means it's a big building they're like scientists light

scientologists light okay and they're right over there one night they were out there with torches they're like three white dudes with suits and i'm driving by with lee and a gay friend and i look up at these guys i'm like peep peep talk sucka i didn't know what to do like who said that oh gosh then we went to u-turn and drove back and beat them again they were all out there conjugating a bunch of white people i love your shirt yeah really i drove by cock suckers go inside you motherfucking they were holding their kids and shit oh gosh what is this world coming to they were dying they were having fun listen if you're gonna do this shit one thing this pandemic taught me is if you can't laugh at yourself or

with yourself it's not gonna work out for you you got to learn to stub your toe yeah call yourself a fucking asshole and giggle if not it's not gonna pan out for you i've done a bunch of mistakes this time like i did i've done a bunch of stupid shit and i've just laughed you have to where other times i go what the fuck is wrong with me do i need professional help yeah but who cares what's i got to do with the price eggs let's worry about covid yeah then you go get your fucking professional help it's crazy it's really it's really crazy and you know what i've been finding well i feel bad for the states that don't have marijuana legalized during this covid because if if we didn't have shit to just get our mind off of but you know it's been relaxing for me getting

outside on my bike and dancing by myself i get in the mirror and i just dance and it for even if it's just for two or three songs that'll be about 12 to 15 minutes but you feel better afterwards you don't got to worry about nobody looking blow you a little bit and get you some good music and just dance the one chick i follow just dances yeah and then at the the last two minutes of the song she takes the top off and it's very weird to see like we're less almost no she's just a crazy white chick with a lot of tattoos but she's artistic really kind of artistic okay she won't show the pussy which i respect okay you gotta respect that titty everybody got titties it's like balls yeah i'll show you my balls because everybody got them you know what i'm saying ain't nobody got the

cube but i ain't nobody got ones that everybody's balls are different there's no two sets of balls that are alike so even though everybody got titties nobody has these two so there's nobody has joy days balls and nobody has crystal power titties just a taste yeah just a taste of my balls it's gonna taste like what's those fucking what's those french people eat snails that's exactly what my balls taste like i remember being like 21 put my balls in the girls mouth and the eyes opening right up like they put hot sauce on them my balls have been disgusting for a long time no don't let your balls be disgusting they gotta be i wash them yeah but they sweat just naturally yeah anytime they they sweat but you know but if she's not the type of mother fuckers that i wash

yeah if i know i'm gonna i want to get my tube cleaned you're gonna show the dirty dick you don't show some people do it some men that it's like they don't understand it and my mom used to tell me you smell yourself first and if you know you have a company you sweep all of that up you clean your front porch and that's why women and men need to landscape because hair holds in heat and and must and you ain't getting no favors if your front porch ain't clean get that out my face bro get it out i like a little head down that gives the oniony smell like especially if she likes hamburgers i don't want to see i don't even eat onions on my hamburger so i don't want to narrow my sack after a nice bike ride i wish it would 25 mile bike ride that mother

fuckers on fire you know what i'm saying that's a fire breathing dragon yes indeed he gets off the bike it sounds like the exorcist and shit you gotta enjoy life man life to shit is everything's crazy covid bugs like you said we got all these protests and people being mad at each other for just other shit like you gotta enjoy it you got it in life's too short people dying your friends dying your family dying strangers dying hell it's a lot of people out here dying the government don't give a fuck about us so they're just allowing us to human sacrifice that's a new show dying on FaceTime it's a great show they don't give a fuck they don't give a fuck say goodbye put the nurse up what are you feeling it's fucking terrible yeah it's fucking terrible that's the new

new show dying on FaceTime because everybody saved it yeah everybody saved their mother father dying some shows when they come up no one saved that no one was sure they did sure they did yeah night kazary but now it's the last conversation yeah the funerals there even putting them up show uh whatever that's on FaceTime our last words on FaceTime yeah like 10 000 per episode you'll give it to them yeah you won't sell them the last 10 minutes of you and your father your father breathing through a thing don't forget go on disability when you're 60 it works better it's the one that the nurses aren't doing that because you know nurses have with the hospitals when people they're not allowing people to come in so the nurses you know yeah the nurses are helping

out and letting people can you imagine that shit you got a family member shout out to the nurses man big shout out to the front all yeah it's been it's been tough on everybody man it's been this is a weird time that's why I kept doing the podcast yeah I'm on a zoom I wanted people like I didn't take people people have called me and flying back in can you like come on the show not really if you're flying back in yeah where you been yeah I know you've been home I know you know I'm trying to get people who are a local what's the matter I was gonna say do you see what happened to Zion what happened he had to leave for his family he left but he also spent a lot of time in a strip club oh he did but he did have a family emergency I told him that he needed to get his dick sucked

that ain't it he could do that in the bubble the MBA is not gonna work you don't think somebody else got in trouble who else got in trouble but his was his was uh it was another little young kid that that left out that left out but Zion's was approved it's just that he got caught up being somewhere out the other guy left yeah the other guy did yeah something dumb yeah he said he had bad wings listen I'm gonna tell you something I did time because because of the psychology of the african american man they're not going to be put in the jail as they shot somebody they're not it's not going to work brothers cannot be held down especially at this point right now but this is what you gotta realize too everybody ain't lebron like you got your big big big players because you see

switching over to football west of rust but he ain't come I don't think he's gonna come back he's gonna be with his family but everybody's not at the level of lebron james making it and with all the endorsements so them brothers need them chicks they need them chicks so they some of them gonna sit down some of them are gonna sit down to the serious the younger one oh yeah I knew I called Zion a week before he did it that's 22 millions he needs to go to the coach like yeah coach listen let's wait till next year this bubble shit ain't cracking I got four holes on the outside two of them are pregnant yeah you know I think some of them and I think too they they're allowing them they should allow them if they if they haven't allowed them they

sneaking them in there you can't tell me they ain't got bitches in the boat they got bitches in the boat they're gonna do a lot of shit and then it's gonna blow up and they're not gonna have it okay like again the players the low end players the ones that really need this yeah they gonna do everything right they're gonna check the other guys the bitches really I got mortgages to pay yeah I got mortgages to pay and that that baseball is doing okay a couple people tested positive today for one team and then we held them for like two or three days it's like two 24 hour tests in 24 and 48 hours really so they test you in 24 hours and they wait 24 and they test you again and see how you're at and you're fine wow yeah they shoot you with that's the

listen if you're a baby you think LeBron James gonna get COVID you got COVID for an hour how can LeBron not this is what I don't understand COVID can float around here and kill up everybody but magic is still living with AIDS magic is as tough as nails like AIDS ain't kidding yeah well it was really weird it it showed who was affecting mm-hmm there was a graph about a week ago okay and do you know that people with AIDS it's a 2% chance of getting it or something really yeah the AIDS because people with AIDS are in the house yeah they in the house because they know what type of immune system they got they jumping up and down on Santa Monica they are not jumping down on Santa Monica you think

they're at the fucking mouthful whatever the gay bar was name it I know I know that that those you know unless you got your young gay and reckless the old geezers with HIV there and now yeah I have a friend who's a piano player at a comedy club and I wondered if he would come back with the HIV I don't think he could be around that many people it's serious though but you know what do you now let me ask you this joy do you think in your younger 19 20 21 year old self the younger joy at 19 do you think if COVID was going on when you were 19 that you would have been like fuck it I'm strong I want this shit won't affect me I would have been snorting corona so we can't be mad at the young people I guess I'm not mad at them he said I'd have been snorting

COVID I'm gonna tell you what would happen in my neighborhood the people that are hung out with their kids their parents would say get your ass in the house you can't come out of here no more yeah can't come over here no more Coco came over here no more yeah we mean he can't come over he can go to the yard all he wants but he can't come in that would happen we missing those people in our neighborhoods though that we're missing the big mamas and the grandmother you know what you want to know why though because now especially in some of the african-american grandmothers are now 40 and younger you got a grandmother 36 that's why they tell my gg back in our day grandma was 65 70 years old and terrio asked something to tell you to get in the house grandmother's are younger now so they ain't

paying attention to these kids not one bit so I don't get like I think until someone is affected by it until they lose someone they don't think that it's real because you still got people out there talking about it's a hoax like how the hell is this a hoax and you got people dying as he sprays I know one thing I just want y'all to know that's disinfectant spray that he's spraying I do not know if this is real or not I read that a kid got shot in Florida and when they did the autopsy he was COVID-19 so they put his death as COVID-19 probably I do realize I do think the numbers are more money yeah uh listen all I know is one thing that's the same thing I'll stick with until the end of this podcast am I living in fear now not really

do I think I'm better than everybody else not really can I get this yes very easily am I putting myself at risk no I watch my staff I see who I associate with yeah I see where I go is this necessary right now exactly it's just necessary you know what if you walk into a store at six o'clock there's double the amount of germs if you're gonna go to a supermarket at six o'clock that's just simple don't go in at six get up go in eight routes open today yeah every day don't want you want the fresh stock you don't want the shit people touch all day put it back down yeah you don't know more than that you gotta go in an eight you're not gonna go in an eight I can't hang out with you yeah because you're raising your that's it yeah numbers wise it's just numbers wise if you

go sit around with seven people and goof around outside it might work but it might not work I don't think it's gonna work because of the fact that a friend of mine it was her birthday and I hated to shout out to Sarah Albert and I hated to not go with her to her birthday because they were in the park and everyone was social distancing but the thing is it's the same thing with the like having unprotected sex everybody's saying the same thing so if you're saying you've only been around seven to ten people you're saying you've only been around seven to ten people I've only been around seven to ten people but when we come together like now there's 30 people all together and I just feel like is everyone saying the same thing like oh I'm not around and if I can't I've watched people's

social media if I look on your social media and you hanging out too tough no you can't come to my house I don't want to be around you you can't be in my car I don't want any of that now the people you know I hang out with Keeta or Sarah but the only reason that I didn't go with her because she had other people but I gotta watch how people I have to protect me and that's the thing too a lot of people unfortunately it's easy to get caught up into the mental that's why it was so great what you said about you know don't be hard on yourself and this ain't got nothing to do with you it's ain't got nothing to do with you you did your fucking job yeah you made it to that spot but a lot of this got in the way yep there is nothing you could do if you want to wine if you want to sit back

if you want to yell at Governor Newsom or the governor of Florida or the governor of Texas you could do all that stuff but ain't gonna get you nowhere this was an act of God or whatever they call it an act of whatever yeah on your insurance if you look on your insurance you ain't gonna get no insurance because this is covered under some act of nature or something you know so I don't want people beating themselves up thinking about what they're losing yeah how much they're gonna lose think about your accomplishments and how you're gonna come back strong and that's what I want to hear don't don't come to me crying now at this point listen 2020 is done what your income is going to be I don't know I don't know what do you need to do what do

you need your income to be yeah what do you need to survive to the end of the year how can we make that happen look around what do I do drop off you got a car yeah we just talked about that yeah I don't want you to have food in that car yeah but if you could drop off films for CBS like news yeah they tape the news up here they just that's what you got to do this or get rid of the car payment I'll just talk to Joy about it I was like man everything that I need is in a one mile radius and if I'm not going anywhere what's the use of me having a big-ass car payment right now like then that's what you said you got to get your soul and check in your ego and check because I don't care what level you are on there are big executives that live up there in them heels right now that

are struggling because I don't care how much you have if you've got everything going out and nothing coming in I don't care what kind of money you got you gonna feel it so it's all of us and we can't be hard on ourselves and but it's easy when you're having like having a flat tire and having all this stuff happen it's easy to start feeling depressed and be like man woe is me and it's nothing wrong with saying woe is me and falling down you just can't stay there it's okay that's I'm telling people yeah I don't want you to stay down you're in a bad position right now right now you're plotting your comeback yeah you're plotting your comeback you're you're like Denzel and mad on fire he was in the hospital stitched up he was he was sitting there stewing

planning how he was gonna kill each and one of them yeah and right now it's the same you know my wife and I had a I love my wife we've gotten along great during this thing that's good we're talking about college mm-hmm now Lee's been to come you've been to college mm-hmm perv you ain't now whoop-whoop you graduate yeah thank you it's really weird do you remember going to college and taking your first loan yeah pale grants black colleges yeah I got a pilgrim what happens when you get your first loan what happens in the mail when you get your first loan you don't get applications for credit cards you get credit cards yeah you get them they send it on yeah and they tell you call us up set it up activate it activate that motherfucker and you activate it and you go get

yourself a little 35 dollar meal usually eating three dollar meals yeah saying now you got it but you're gonna go for a 35 dollar meal and you're gonna forget all about it and all of a sudden you go to your mailbox and you're like oh shit and you open it up you owe them 35 dollars you only made 250 for the week 35 dollars a lot of money you know the most important thing in college they don't teach you is interest rates and money and there has to be a course on guys we know you're getting credit cards we have to protect you now they don't care about them yeah they don't protect you from yourself with children you know the funny thing like I told my wife I go I know that when you're a kid when you're 18 and they give you a scholarship and they got your door badges they

don't send that credit card to your mother's house because your mother's throw it away they send it to you in the dorm room you know everything is with you you probably had a credit card before your mother knew well I actually the one thing I'll say my dad and he doesn't remember it so a good memory gone but when I was like 16 I had a job and my dad cosigned for a credit card but he said the first time you can't pay the bill in full I'm taking it away and it was the best thing he's ever done for me yeah I don't have any credit card debt but it's I have so many friends it's like getting fat how it just wants to start yeah I've had so many friends out here go to debt consolidation this and that and like because I didn't when I was out here I was like how is

everybody going on vacation how is everybody going out every night how do they have a BMW and then and then like I'm like hey I just ended up for debt consolidation like oh make sense yeah I have $20,000 in credit card debt huh now I get it you know you have to go into debt and lose everything before you become a financial fucking genius yeah you got to lose it all and I go crystal what is your car payment and she told me it's so business I almost died yeah you know my car payment is 260 a month you know why you can get that real quick you sell a few shirts I can always borrow 260 yeah I have 10 friends that'll lend me 260 one time maybe two but with she's paying after the first time she comes back you gotta put the bikini up because it's a big number right there

you gotta do something strange for some change I know you don't want to do it let me pet you it'll be all right it's like that chicken uh what's the movie with ice cube when the little cousin goes and starts sucking dick play his club yeah thank you you want to drink some of this it ain't hard it's sweet yeah it's tough man you gotta like you say you gotta get your ego and check they don't prepare you for this numbers game so you're out there you're mismatching numbers you're not looking you know like I said I know Lee has thrown ideas at me from time to time and I've shut them down but Lee doesn't know the wisdom that I have there then yeah we go get a bigger warehouse and put pictures and denominations

but that's the first three G's of our salary yeah okay and that's gotta be paying every month every month and for you to sustain that three G's I gotta justify it by making 30 I just can't take a chance to make 18 yeah I gotta make fucking 30 we pay 750 here we don't make 30 you know what I'm saying yeah but we cover the 750 and I've always kept it where you're always manageable yeah listen I could always tell people that we go panting I can get eight ads I didn't want people to go through ads I want to advertise for people that I really like I like that product you know I like Drap Kings people gonna gamble yeah we're gonna gamble that's a great way to do it you know I did my research during Indiana yeah it's it's it's not a pun there from the church

since they say they got the longest professions CBD they're the best they really are I really like them as a product I reached out to them so it's kind of weird how you have to be honest with people keep the page I did for a dollar why because I don't want to choke nobody yeah it's a dollar what's a dollar gonna do to you and I'll give you a couple I'll keep you alive during the week I'll throw you a life wrap video that you won't know what the fuck it's you know what I'm saying I'll call you a cocksucker a ball sniffer you know it's just a time to not beat yourself out yeah you got to move to your uncle's basement do it there's no shame everybody's doing it yeah everybody's doing it you got to get a job something you don't want to do a position that

you're overqualified for you know what what are your chances of finding the job you're qualified for right away why don't we take this job and see what comes down the fucking hatch keep looking but at least you got an income come on nobody thought they were gonna listen right now if I was broke and I saw an ad for a Chinese cook I'd walk in there you ever cook Chinese before whatever I can learn was it great Garcia who was who got to make Donald's job great great Garcia when they had the writer strike guy at his show on television as an executive producer creator and he got a job at McDonald's to see how it felt to see how it felt they saw they noticed right away he had a head on this show this and they asked him like a general manager

position like whoa whoa whoa yeah he donated the checks to charity but he just wanted to see what it felt like okay to be a working man again instead of driving to a lot and having people bringing you lattes that's why I love great Garcia as much as I do because he really is down earth that way you know and this is what this is gonna help this is gonna humble a lot of people but the good thing about this crystal is that you go back to America's Got Talent hopefully they'll have a few weeks for you to warm up oh that's what I've been thinking about before you get back on that stage you keep advancing and that that's the thing if they're gonna call you I don't want you to do this because I'm telling you right now what I'm hearing okay I don't want you to keep calling

you and going we're gonna do in September and they call you September to October now you're 14 down in rent yeah in November now you're 16 down in rent and then December and there ain't gonna be a Christmas tree you're gonna have a tree already gone yeah you're gonna have a little cactus tree already go so you can sit on top of it that charlie brown tree that's charlie brown tree why you fucking a baloney sandwich for christmas because they're probably not gonna shoot till january oh so if if if if if cAA is not open until january if i was you you could be at the i'd rather you go to houston if they call you and say you gotta be here monday call me i'll send you the money yeah but if they tell you three or four weeks you take your

time you drive back you call keeter you know you always gotta couch on keeters for a few days and you go back yeah but for you to sit here right now for like lee yeah i totally i go lee let's pretend let's pretend i leave i go would you want to stay here because this is what's giving me the biggest problem right now is that lee's wasting five days of his life with me he's wasting 20 days a month with me for eight shows he's gonna kid i don't want him to get killed or hit in the head with a stick you know last night called him he's like i fucking can't believe that people keep drives race driving did you see what happened in hollywood on sunday night what happened same thing i was right racing you and they end up somebody getting shot 17 year

old girl got shot hollywood and lebran go look at the news so they told me that they were driving up and down last night i'm like oh they've done it for years it's i live on a straight street it is fucking yeah you can hear it wow i can hear it sometime why are you on the phone with him yeah you can hear it and then he showed me the citizen app which is hysterical i saw someone yesterday got arrested for assault with a laptop they ordered starbucks anything he hit someone with a laptop he got arrested you can't get the citizen app ladies and gentlemen especially when you smoke you will sit there your head will break your fucking your little fat heart will blow up it's the same thing with ring like they have all those crimes and everybody coming telling on each other

on the ring out my neighbors be over there and like studio city valley village area oh my god someone just broke in a car but i got a picture and i'm gonna go after him i say you go after him if you want to karen get your head but you got insurance on this i got rings everywhere yeah there's i got a good block because the guy two doors down for me yeah everybody has them over there yeah i got a cop that's like knocked on my door and he says do you want to increase your security fuck yeah i'll pay the extra yeah to have this button to fucking you know and it's a big zoom too yeah yeah it's a big area they get you now so they're gonna get the car he put a camera up a license plate levels oh nice yeah he got everything so you gotta walk guys the fucking people got

enough time on their hands right now that's all they want to do make citizens arrest and tell on people and you gotta be very careful so that my wife beeped at somebody i almost choked in the car i almost choked i go why are you beating out of motherfucker let him go it ain't that serious yeah i go where are we going what's the rush well he was sitting there for four seconds who gives a fuck maybe he was thinking about his mother who just died two hours ago and you're beeping at a motherfucker you see a motherfucker with a mask no mask on and you got a mask on across the street that's what my girlfriend did the other day do not do not tell motherfuckers to put on she was like because what's gonna happen is you don't know where that guy their head is yep he went home his wife

was fucking three ported weekends to make the rent because he got fired he had to walk out on the walk out he looked in the mailbox the foreclosure and he's walking down the street now and you pull over like a fucking god you know super christian that you are you know excuse me yeah are you not thinking about society yeah hold on i'm gonna kill the biggest ass over the world boom and there you go because you want to be captain saver fucking life yeah mind your business they don't want to wear a mask let's stay fucking business you know if they don't want to be cautious i'm not i don't get mad at people not wearing a mask i would never insult somebody for not wearing a mask it's not even my i would ask you to yeah especially if you're gonna go into the bowels of hell i mean you know

you're gonna go on the train downtown for an hour you better put a mask on yeah you're gonna fly for five hours you better have a mask on and even then you better put tape around that motherfucker so it stays so it stays and put a little lip like a latch just so you can put a straw on that motherfucker so you can drink because there ain't no eat you ain't need not a plane no more no because it's all closed up but my girlfriend did that the other day we went hiking at griffin park and i kept noticing she kept getting to the edge and i was like why are you getting to the edge she goes oh for the people that don't have masks on and i was like oh i'm so busy trying to make it up the fucking mountain i can't be worried about nobody else

but a group of guys came through and she was like i'm gonna say something i said to hell you aren't i was like let them people i was like you got your mask on what they're doing is not affecting you let them go because you just never know and i said and plus i can't fight i don't know how to fight my core is real strong so i feel like if i get somebody down i'm good but as far as like throwing throwing hands i ain't never had to do it so i don't know so i was like bitch do not say nothing to these people about this fucking mask because it's gonna be me and you out here getting a ass kick over some fucking math and then our mask gonna be off anyways they're just pulling over beating people up they beat up three mexicans so you're those fruit guys again you see these

hangings and i don't care i am sorry ain't no black person i stand by that and it some people will call it ignorant but first off i know people that have hung themselves and tooth the thing about people that hang themselves nine times out of ten they normally want someone to find them okay then it's an act of you know something really quickly do you think that somebody's gonna get in their car drive all the way across town and have time to think about that there's a documentary on about a guy that for the golden gate bridge he did a documentary that talks about people that jumped that a large number of the people that jumped all if some people that made it they regret it immediately so you mean to tell me you think that you're going to drive all the way across town

to go to a central location to hang yourself your mental is going to talk you out of that before you get there you're going to talk yourself out of that shit because i mean i think you know i haven't been to that point yet to the point where i want to kill myself but i've had some low moments but i just feel like people that kill themselves that's a cry for help and they really don't want to kill themselves they just they're crying out for help so you got 30 minutes or 15 minutes to drive somewhere to hang yourself i don't believe that i don't believe that i don't believe for one second and if they had a video of people think this is what scares me if people know now i was going to make a funny video and then i was like uh you know how in the westerns they would do a quick draw with their pistols

that's all we got now cell phones you got to draw your cell phone out to record oh i'm going to record you if i'm not fucking knowing that you're going to record them still can't control their anger knowing that you're recording them what are they doing when they're not being recorded just think about that if you know that if i pull out my phone and you know that i'm recording you and you still so angry that you cannot control it and stop fucking recording i'm still mad imagine that same type of person if he catch him i'm fucking walking down a street by itself a dark street and ain't nobody looking in a in an area that ain't that's not too much traffic i don't believe that black people are hanging themselves like that i don't i believe that black people you know will commit

suicide everybody they don't have no no type of but our history there's just there's just i just don't see that and it's dangerous out here i haven't like twice right i haven't like twice it really happened twice the hanging yeah no it's been at least now about ten what what it easily when man houston san diego man it's at least i'll look it up and i'll find it's at least been at least been ten hangings and they fall even the black girl right now i want to say in mckinney outside of dallas texas black girl her white roommate male called her hanging in the garage well get up there come it's more it's a it's a minimum of ten a minimum of black people all african-american but because of our heritage we're not going to go out like that we're going

to take some pills you know you might blow your brains i don't know but just to to drive across or if you're gonna hang yourself you're gonna hang yourself in the house it's gonna be something right there you're not that time that's too much time for you to talk yourself out of it to go crank your car up stop it a few red lights pay a toll then i'm gonna get out throw a rope up in a tree and hang myself i don't believe in that i just don't believe it and i believe it's some really evil people out there and if they y'all saw that video where they they they actually there was some white people that had a black man they was trying to hang him and then they got it too white men end up getting into it because the other white man tried to stop it but they were recording the man

they were trying to hang the man you think if they doing that while people recording them what they doing when ain't nobody looking you saw that other white man they had him on a video he said they were having some road rage and he rolled his window down broad daylight you better be glad this ain't back in the day because if it was i'd pull your ass out of that car and hang you from a fucking tree so what are you supposed like here's my thing i try to avoid this stuff because it just gets depressing but like the but then you're sticking your head in the sand so what do you i don't know because your head in the sand your ass is in the air get it out of the sand i know it's uncomfortable i even have to be because you know i'm not nowhere near joy's level

i'm still trying to climb and make a name for myself but do i worry about pissing off the wrong person or do i because right is right and wrong is wrong we're not telling nobody to change their beliefs or to go one way to other but right is right and wrong is wrong i don't care and for anybody regardless if you white black mexican armanian chinese whatever if for you to despise and hate somebody that has never done something to you just strictly out the color of your skin or your religion or your gender or what type of dick you like you got a problem you can't we can't bury our heads in the sand we just can't and i even get to the point to where as them videos get depressing sometimes i'll post them sometimes i won't but think about it amade arbery that video

if we didn't have videos those three white men they would not be in jail right now if we had not shared that fucking video if we had not shared the video of a black man jogging in a neighborhood and then some men saying hey i see him let's go corral him on the back of trucks they were on the back of pickup trucks joy they go on the back of pickup trucks running behind somebody if we hadn't had that video those people would not be in jail today is my thought because it was two months and they still hadn't had a rest so i just think and i didn't honestly i didn't know it was that bad because like i told you if i'm performing i don't perform in front of all black crowds my crowds be white and i've had somebody stand up in the middle of my comedy show and holler out white power

that shit is scary and and all the people that sit here and say i mean i wish it motherfucker would i wish motherfucker would until you in that position you have no idea what you're gonna do you have no idea because i sat there at first going damn did i hear what i thought i heard then i was going like well damn let me make the shit funny you know because you just never know until you're in that position so lee i know it's uncomfortable it's uncomfortable for me it's uncomfortable for everybody but we got to talk about it because this shit so imagine you got covid you got unemployment then you got all these races all these these race wars and i don't black people we won't win a race war we won't have you ever looked at the the population

whites versus blacks there is just no way and it's scary i like i said i just got back on my bike just got back on my bicycle because i was like lord today because this is some evil evil people out there on in every race but now for some reason is heightened it's heightened yeah chicago yeah but that means somebody knew that they were gonna be there at that funeral and you waited for them to come out at their most vulnerable weakest moment what made you do that evil nothing to live for evil and don't but see you know what unfortunately in the black community we don't want to see and that goes back to what you said back when you were younger see your neighbor would

have turned a little john john in the neighbor to the house the third house on the street they had made them go tell them you could whether it's your cousin your nephew or a sister odael's son you go tell them people what you're doing that for we out here worrying about how we gonna eat we weren't about where our next paycheck gonna come from we weren't about if our our big mom is healthy if somebody got diabetes or a high cholesterol now we got to worry about you shooting up everything and we gotta that i hate the term snitches get stitched i'm telling i'm telling let me see you do some crystal powell is telling i'm telling first 48 we don't have to wait to 48 it's gonna be first 14 i'm telling i don't believe in that this whole thing has made me change a lot in the sense

of that i was never raised racist my first true friend was african-american i didn't see color i was such a young kid i didn't see color yeah when i got my daughter uh at the church there was a man talking to her one day there was two men talking to her and they were having a good time and the one dude was white and the one dude was african-american with glasses on and i said what did he say that was so funny and she goes what the guy with the glasses and right there that told me that children don't see color yeah they don't you top that was fucking uh whatever his name is super we we baby saddam he was deaf african-american that was her first boyfriend and part of the reason we're moving is because our best girl for this movement is african-american

we're gonna be living 20 minutes from us that's the reason why we moved so my daughter yeah not so that should get taught now it gets taught yeah so now so i lately made a beautiful point that uh the gentleman that died church for it no which one very important the senator this weekend they didn't walk over the bridge bloody sunday when they he got it oh this um louis louis yeah you know and some lady goes listen we gotta get back to this white people invented racism and they gotta put it to bed i'm just here to enlighten them a little bit and uh those words hit me because it's true we white people invented slavery and invented all that shit and now it's time to put it to bed now it's time to change it but you had to change your see the problem we have like when i watched

the black and this is straight from the alright guys i'ma drop some shit on you you're not gonna want to hear when i saw the black lives gay parade okay the big big big one i saw a lot of people that belong there but i saw three quarters of the people that didn't belong there because it's me telling you black lives matter or i love black people whatever term you're going to use i don't like the word black anymore i'm not using it it's african-america black is a hole in space i don't know where that fucking word came from so that's number one i'm not using that no more the other thing today i was at the park with my daughter and there was a celebration there and that's why two fine ass sisters two fine ass sisters beautiful classy beautiful dresses on

she walked past me my wife was sitting next to me i go what the fuck are they going on dressed up they were down uh yeah and then she walked by me she said you think i'm gonna let that nigga and by the way listen man first thing african-americans have to do is stop saying that word yeah i don't want to i i i only accepted up to 2020 pre-wrap i'll listen to biggie and tupac but anybody that raps from now on and uses that word i'm not supporting them yeah especially after what we've been through right there's no way i'm supporting your music i don't want to hear because it's just about drugs and hookers and clothes and money if you say you're giving leave commissioners yeah there you go we can't expect for we can't expect for other people to stop killing us and that's

nothing black people don't want to hear that and i'm gonna get a lot of people talk shit about me with this and they were like you can't say black on black crime yes i can yes i can and i understand that there is a reason it's some reasoning back there but i know a lot of people that grew up eating ketchup sandwiches and sugar shamp sandwiches that didn't grow up to be murderers and and thieves so it doesn't matter yeah so that's the whole thing they're like when we start talking about black on black crime they're like yeah but look how far you know back we've gone i was like but we i mean a lot of us that's all we've known is poverty but my mama taught me i don't care if you got two pennies in your pocket you better stand up tall and like you got a million dollars so a lot of us have been

poor and didn't know where our next meal was but we knew the difference between right and wrong we had a grandmother that our mama might not have been taking us to church every sunday but our grandmother was taking us to church so you were you might have been in them streets and you might have had a poor family but you know the difference between right and wrong i get it the thing that bothered me about those protests that hit hard with me in a ways yes you're out there marching for something but how are you entwined with the african-american community in your life on a daily basis you're not they're not yeah when you you have two black friends that you tell everybody about and then you invite them to all your functions yeah not three

black friends there's always two yeah or one or just the token or just the token yeah as long as you know that going in you don't feel that bad that's the truth we all have two black friends that come to our parties but like studio city let's get this area here let's narrow this down to every white family has one black friend to invite to a party to show them they're not racist yeah but deep down inside of that person need a place to stay i don't think they'd put them in not at all that's why the movie the blind or i wouldn't get them the job right the blind side is such a great movie because sandra bullock takes that big fucking savage in there that's what pisses me off about this you know when i see dave chappelle i love dave chappelle he ain't that fucking funny not for the amount of

respect he gets from the white community they love him and 60% of that is yeah we don't like black people but dave ain't like the rest of the black people they kill me with that that's exactly what they say yeah they do you know he's not like that or with women that you oh you talk different how is that what does that mean yeah how do i talk it's very weird that i feel that way about a lot of things that we'll pick one thing that we like african-american to make ourselves believe that we're not racist you're not racist when you're splitting meals with them when they're coming to your house in front of your fucking fancy white neighbors and you all wave like hey you fucking cocksuckers yeah this is who's coming to my house tonight yeah this is coming

to my house and they're gonna sleep here they're gonna eat here and you know for me i was braised afro cuban and i've heard about the racism in cuban yeah it's terrible my fucking uncle he went to a store and he forgot his fucking mask so he saw a paper bag of this thing and he put two eyes on it he put the bag over his head and he walked into Whole Foods they wanted to fucking kill him he sent me the tapes today of my uncle fucking uh had Whole Foods and people thrown him out and shit oh my god he's fucking 82 years old this motherfucker and he's still sending tapes and playing the conga drums and all this shit you know what when it happened though i'll tell you this because i'm from a small small town and it was predominantly white and i had to call you

know my parents aren't here so i had to call my uncles and ask them i was like man am i was i being totally oblivious i was like because i don't remember growing up with these racial issues and he was like yeah he goes your mom just did a great job of hiding it from you and y'all we didn't have the internet back then he was like so if your parents hid it from you you didn't see it so all this has done has exposed some people for me now i will say this the the white friends that i do have super cool called me but one of my white friends called me and she was like hey you know calling how are you doing i'm sorry about all this i said i know what's going on i said you don't have to call me i said call your other white friends that's who you call and talk to

i know what's going on i know about the and then i had to talk to another white friend of mine she was she does emily she does a lot of funny videos and she stopped i was like what happened to your videos she goes why i felt like you know this wasn't the time to joke about stuff she felt says because she's been like just posting daily about everything that's going on whether it's the racist video whether it's a homophobic video she's just posting stuff and i said she goes and i feel bad that i don't know about all of this stuff with african-americans i was like i'm black and i don't know all of it i was like so you can't be upset with yourself because you don't know i was like because how would you even know that if you didn't grow up around that if you're a white kid

that didn't have any black friends you don't live in a black neighborhood you don't go to a black school why would you know what's going on with black kids you won't you will not know so it is i do understand that there are some people that have no idea but when you have some friends that like you said break bread with black people talk to them talk to those other white friends and let them know hey man this is what's really going on because like you said lee it's a lot of people that's just they don't want to have the uncomfortable conversation they don't want to you know they're you know it's easier to stick your head in the sand and just let it go by you one thing i realized when i got locked up was i worked in the kitchen and i was around i mean

the two dudes i hung out with the two two out of the three dudes i hung out with were african-american you know one was from louisiana a little bit out there and the other guy was a big time the boot is rough yeah the other guy was a big time crepe okay malei and he used to bring coke to denver big time money big money brother good-looking like him but he looked like michael b jackson mustache and everything seven bitches seven of me out in the payroll all black sisters brand new cars everybody had a kid you got to have a kid with him and suck his dick before you got a car it was crazy and each of them he would give him visitation like eight to ten then you got to go because i got another mother baby mama coming up eleven she would leave it too he'd have another one

and they would all bring them nutter butters that was his thing and me and him would eat nutter butters on satays and sundays like a mother fuck but when you go to prison you talk to these men and you learn about something called social economic prison and it's a guy if lee gets caught with four pounds of reefer and an african-american gets caught with four pounds of reefer lee's parents are going to get a good attorney probation yeah this guy is going to get a court defendant and they're going to mix them with another couple guys and they're going to give them three years yeah that's already been found like they've done studies yeah like that that's you know we if you don't have money for oj had money money yeah money money money money yeah and

he could put it on credit and give you trophies yeah you know so you know you could pay for justice you could pay for not guilty verdict you could pay for all these things yeah with the great amount of people but 70 percent of brothers that are trying to commit crimes yeah 20 of those 70 percent of bad yeah 50 of them have had a problem they've fallen into the system they truly brought i'm telling you because i've been in there with them with great african-american young men that why don't you get caught in the system it's over it's over i mean i'm like the system was imposed to keep you in there yeah and or the bad judges or the bad wing will even talk about the judges that's 65 and older that this is the thing if you were born back in that time and you gotta

realize they just change the laws for racism they change their laws but if that's the way you thought that's your mentality they just changed it on paper that's the same thing with like brianna taylor yeah it's no knock arrest warrants now but the mentality is still there they they haven't been arrested so it's a whole mindset but speaking about this with where a white man might get probation and the same man what is there's a article about a man i think he stole nine dollars he stole nine dollars and he's serving life to whereas you got motherfuckers just raping women and and not and doing what how much did that kid do nine or ten days after he raped an unconscious woman oh the kids from stanford yes oh yeah that's yeah yeah so it i believe i i agree with you and also that's

when we start talking about the black on black crime they're like when you go back to all of that and you're right if it's 70 percent a black man that are in jail 50 percent of them probably had a bad attorney made a mistake can you think about me and all the mistakes that you and i have made if somebody would give us a five or ten-year sentence from every mistake we've made hell we wouldn't should we'd have a hundred years but sometimes you know black people don't get that and that's when they that's where the fine line comes in between uh you know the black on black crime and i just hate it to whereas if they don't do something about the stimulus if they don't do something about this unemployment if they don't do a nationwide shutdown where people can get back

to work when when people's backs against the wall and they don't have nothing else they gonna go out there and they gonna try to figure out a way to get it and i saw a post on facebook when they were talking about the differences like if the billionaire like it's such a huge gap they said if the like the billionaire people would give everybody just a thousand i like they got so much money they can give everybody on the planet a certain amount of money and they'll still be okay how is that gap okay how is that how is that okay in in the united states how is that still okay in 2020 remember 1999 when everybody was going to get water and thinking at the you know everything was going to shut down we were gonna have lights and shit that was 20 years ago that was 20 years

ago and we was losing our mind going into the year 2000 thinking that oh when we woke up in the morning we won't go have no lights everybody was going to buy hella water and shit that was 20 years ago and we still and look at this gap look how it's grown and then they taught about somebody being a trillionaire they on track to be a trillionaire come on man these people got to eat they got we got it has to change but it is changing and i'm sorry if i'm going on the run here i saw a comment from west brown the difference between now and back then and i was so happy to see my my white people out there and i get upset sometimes when i see more white people fighting for us then i see black people if you look in portland that black lives matter that they was rocking

last night 85 percent of that was white people that was white people out there doing that so like it's just got to be a mindset but if we wouldn't have white people protesting alongside us now you think they were shooting rubber bullets when that man went across that street to go take that picture at that church if we wouldn't have white people protesting with us right now i feel my opinion we'd have been sprayed down in the streets quick quickly if we wouldn't have jessica and sarah bell nailed them out there protesting alongside the black people they'd been shot down the street i'm sorry that's that's just my opinion but now it's it's collective and these millennials these tiktokers you don't see people on tiktok dancing no more you see them

little millennials on tiktok dropping facts dropping facts dropping facts dropping facts and it has to be all of us collectively so i think by 2040 it'll be it'll be all right yeah it'll be we still we still got a long way to go but we gotta we gotta keep trying and we can't you know we gotta have these uncomfortable conversations and we gotta talk to people that you know we wouldn't normally talk to and you gotta do something you can't just be out there you know even with my friend you know well i post it yeah but haven't have you signed a petition have you talked in another thing i think we're at 100 days for voting yeah 100 days from that's the other thing there's a vote man what happens if trump wins and what happens when trump loses

what's the state of comedy then this is what i'm saying i'd rather you be somewhere safe because it's gonna work america's got talent calls you back you'll be ready you got i'll leave with you i know he loves you yeah a couple people down there this you know i love you but if i'm gone i got nobody watching your back i love you i love kate i love my girls but number two i started a patreon and i was supposed to shoot a video this week me and damian couldn't get it together so the patreon is not just for me to make money it's for me to educate help people out educate like i want to donate like a mens i found the shelter and burbank is open i went to burbank to to see in the place i could bring my clothes and all that because this one's here but

this week fucking uh the mind of joey d is wants to give you a little envelope to get groceries this week it don't mean nothing about nothing you know i'm a crown here don't do that i don't want you to cry i just want you to breathe for three days go get a steak go get some chicken wings whatever the fuck you like go take the 25 mile bike right first you get all the chicken wings you want we don't want to fuck up that body of yours we love you on this show you always welcome here i'll let you back man once you go back on agt we're gonna get your back whether it's on the zoom yeah we don't know how we're gonna do it yet but we're gonna do something me and lee lee's gonna take a microphone

with him in the camera and we're gonna fucking do zooms once a week we're gonna figure out this church i'll do something alongside but i want you know i love you i got your back in my sister and uh this week you get something for the patreon like i said they're gonna all right there ain't no nine thousand let me tell you that and that's what it's about this little taste and this is what this is what we've developed here this is what i'm coming up with i want to do this patreon a dollar a piece big so we can put different people to work when i talk to a comic listen don't call me up if you're a comic i say don't i need my mortgage payment go fuck yourself when you were rolling big money you never called me it took me to lunch but i know a lot of people

how many times do you and me go down to the commie store and hang out so do me a favor make me feel better if you just took that don't worry about what's in it nobody knows it's just a little something for you to go to rouse and get my envelope as the old people put it in this just left today yeah Alonzo Bowden posted the picture last week because he had just so much but i saw it when the first when the when the covid first started there was a liquor store in the Bronx and they posted a sign that let me see that yeah no titty money yeah no sock money five motherfuckers at the time no discounts and i don't want to hear none of your shit and none of your motherfucking questions but that's it and that's that uh crystal you made a great Monday morning podcast thanks for

having me and man i love you i gotta say this really quickly i'm over here snotting because this is what it's about like if your hands are like this clothes fisted you can't help anyone but you also can't receive anything and i got a bunch of people in my phone that like you said when the times is good they're not calling i called you twice i was listening no you've been calling me yeah he was like yo you better pick up the fucking phone man you're making me nervous and i told you when you answer when i answered i was like damn you checking on me better than some folks that i'm i'm kicking it with so i have to say this like for one when you mentioned you we all know you get me into the comedy store when i go if i don't go to when i go to the comedy

store if i'm when i'm with joy i get treated like royalty i get a seat i get a drink yeah come on through oh you enjoy you've enjoyed but when i'm not with you they treat me like shit and you let me come on your podcast you talk to me you have me around your daughter and your wife and i'm so grateful and because of that you're teaching me this and i get to do it to somebody else fuck this is what it's all about it's all about you bought me a thousand stakes i gotta give those stakes down another episode of soprano when christopher came in and he's like i'm sick and tired of paying for dinners he goes what are you fucking complaining about someday some kids gonna be paying for your dinners yeah and that's exactly true so i'm grateful so thank you man we're grateful

bro this is what it's all about your family to me you got my number you need something you call i don't want you to miss a pork chop yeah or chicken with these thighs i can miss a couple of no i mean i'll tell you this america's got talent did give me something to look forward to and to work towards because i kept saying bitch you can't you know that tv had 10 pounds so i was like whenever we come back i cannot afford to be chunky crystal over here so i at least was like okay but you got that you got that you know work towards that but it's been a conscious effort and you know but and i'm because of people like you like i get blessed and this is man i've been blessed dog so i gotta spread the blessing and you're spreading it and i'm grateful man tonight on a monday morning

what motivational monday let's get it listen i know a lot of years are going through a lot my heart goes out to you you guys know that i've been here with you from day one banging these podcasts out and want to keep giving them to you all right so hang in there this through will pass stick to your guns tell the credit cards to suck your dick pay your landlord to suck your dick there's no fucking debtors jail they can't throw you in jail for all the money all you can do is not answer the phone answer them and tell them i ain't got it don't pay the phone bill you get that call from one 800 you're like this could be hbo this could be hbo and shit hello joe we didn't get your five dollar check there fuck you cuck suck i thought it was hbo and shit i love you guys real

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