Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #812 - Annie Lederman

Episode Date: August 12, 2020

Annie Lederman, a comedian, actor heard as Cheryl in "GTA V," and host of the "Meanspiration" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: Express VPN - Get 3 months free at www.expressvpn.com/church Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout on your first order.  

greeting some motherfucking podcast bill it's Wednesday the 12th of August where the fuck is the time going you've been in lockdown for months okay at the church of what's happened now is brought to you by Express VPN listen I think you've seen everything on Netflix by now even the fucking shit that you can't fucking understand but with Express VPN you can trick the computer into thinking you're in a different country and you'll be able to watch just about anything in the world I know you're bored but do you want to watch every episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air Netflix in Australia has it and with Express VPN you do too

it works with any service Netflix Amazon YouTube BBS you name it so do me a favor protect your privacy online today and your activity today with VPN that I trust to secure my privacy right now listeners of the church can go to Express VPN dot com slash church Express VPN dot com slash church to get an extra three months on a one-year package that's Express VPN dot com slash church support the podcast but most importantly protect yourself at Express VPN dot com slash church the church is also brought to you by one of my all-time fucking favorites on it listen whether it's alpha brain shroom tech the new

hemp you get the fucking hemp and you mix it with the alpha brain and watch what happens to you clip tick top motherfucking mugu I love the hemp the new moods been helping me sleep at night from time to time I switch it up because you get used to all these things so some nights I do the tea some nights I do the fucking pills from Kikomo some nights I do the fucking new mood from on it but as far as alpha brain shroom tech on it is the best out there best supplements alpha brain is so good if you don't like it you get your money back and you get to keep the product that's a fucking real company

right there so go to honor dot com right now and press in church and get this motherfucking party started get 10% off delivered right to your house it's Wednesday bitches kick this fucking mule Lee my girl Annie Letterman in the motherfucking house what's happened sexy thing what's up I'm decided I'm gonna be a vlogger I just decided 10 minutes before I got here vlog okay good how you been my love I've been good how is this thing fucking damaged you at all it's been a goddamn roller coaster but I'm on an upswing right you look great I feel good you look great so I'm enjoying

the time off the first time off how long you've been doing comedy 11 years and it's the first oh yeah break like this has been well the longest I took off was recently over Christmas just because the flights were cheaper I ended up taking 10 days off I've never taken more than like four days off ever and I did 10 days with my family to the point where they were my brother was he was a gift to my house like everyone's like it's weird you're still here the girls went back to school they're like why is auntie still here so they finally got rid of me and my I made my parents stay too and my dad and I were talking about

we're so grateful for that we're so lucky we had that extra time it's like we knew or something so we had this really long intense amazing fun you know my brother has a fire pit in the back so we all sit around my family smoke so we get all you know everybody's giggly my dad likes to cure his glaucoma that's what are you hearing from Philadelphia how is Philadelphia doing as a city well my parents have not left the house they don't leave they go on walks I'll suit it up and my dad 79 so he's not fucking around which I'm so glad if they were the parents that are out ignoring the whole thing not believing in masks I would be

having a heart attack so they've been doing much and then my older brother you know he just massed up he's a salesman so he goes out a little bit for work here in there but and my sister-in-law works in a hospital they're ever working from home I don't know you're and maybe I'm wrong but isn't one of your brothers like a Celtics reporter my twin brother is an Emmy award-winning producer for the yeah for NBC Sports in Boston is he in the bubble they send the bubble or no they didn't send him to the bubble I've been crazy he's working from home okay but he's doing they're started doing live shows again which is hard I mean it's

hard things are getting caught people you know they'll be like scandals be like why'd you cut it off there and like we're working from our basements nobody's planning any of these things I mean and then the internet is waiting for any because everyone's so bored they're home so they're watching everything they're waiting for some sort of slip-up or mistake or something that looks unwoke or something you know and they wait for things and then they pounce and you're like we're all just in our basements trying to do our jobs everyone's got their kids so my brother's got his daughters upstairs I feel like every

time I go on the internet now it's like going on OTB you ever go on the OTB like what's like betting it's just fucking people arguing that's what the internet is to me now well I try to go on there in the morning say what I got to say post and I get the fuck out of there suck my dick cuckuck yeah because if not I had like say something to somebody a couple weeks look at the internet right now should be something you go to for like a half hour because if you I spoke to somebody on the phone one day who was on the internet and he called me jacked up people are getting jacked up on the internet what do you mean like fired up about something about the coronavirus and all that shit

and I tried to tell him I go listen I was hooked on the news for the first month as we all were yeah you know ABC World News tonight isn't the number one watch news because nobody watches the fucking news during the coronavirus we all watched it at 6 30 and you know we learned about different things until one day I go look at my position when I'm watching this look at my body language I'm pressed all the way back like yeah like this like and I'm focusing like I gotta go on my left eye because my left eye is stronger than my right eye I can kind of tell now that you say I catch myself like and I go stop Joey stop look at the position you're in look at what you look like when I go that's it I turn the fucking TV off so I made a rule like after like the first week

I told my wife I go listen we gotta make a rule no TV in the house for the kid either yeah because it's not we'll all go crazy so we called it the six by April first we already had the six o'clock rule no fucking TV yeah until six o'clock and even then don't even put it on until then we went to the don't put it on until after dinner and I'm the type of motherfucker I can't watch jeopardy like once jeopardy comes on that means you got it as comics as a human like when I was a kid and my friends I was staying with the runnies his father watched jeopardy you know how I knew runnies yeah the last name was the runnies oh the runnies the runnies the last oh my god your last name's runnies that's terrible are you and then they're my they're my family so they took me in the

running in 1981 and whenever jeopardy was coming on I remember I was walking past them to go in the shop and seven seven o'clock you get ready if you're anybody seven o'clock you get ready you're not winding down sit down watching I do like to watch a little Wheel of Fortune to get me that's the one afterward ready to go that's the one at 7 30 that's when I'm really fucking suicidal if I sit if I sit there like that's what I was doing I would watch the fucking 6 30 news and be so blown away and so scared that I would actually catch myself sitting there like fucking anxiety doubt till about 7 40 and let go what am I doing with my life and I would get up wash my hands put the mask on and go for a ride yeah this is before anything this is when it was still just

quarantine everybody wasn't angry yeah this is you know well that's three days yeah but didn't last long so that's I figured out all those things I I knew that right away my in the beginning my anxiety level won't ride up and I remember that my doc I had a heart appointment like oh I thought you were like if if you had a heart no no no I had a heart I had like a heart appointment like March 28th right I had no I had a mark I had a heart appointment like March 20th like yeah doctor's appointment right now we shut down March 16th that was the official shutdown so I had a doctor's appointment like that Thursday that they rescheduled for like two weeks later as a visual resume okay and when I went on there with him like two weeks later that's when he said to me

how are you feeling blah blah blah and he goes how's your anxiety I gotta go it's horrible he goes I could tell but look on your face and once he sent me those fucking things like I had some at the house I had a regular prescription from my family doctor who are my heart doctor sent them to me the baby one yeah shit but I tell you what I wouldn't eat those to go to sleep but I would eat those in the daytime yeah together like it was bad the whole month of March I did that what do you think you're oh I'm sure that fucking helped you oh that was terrible weed is a sneaky one because weed I told you you asked me if I wanted to smoke and I'm like during COVID if I smoke weed I feel like I have boy every time I go like oh my god I'm hard it's hard to breathe it's like yeah you just

took a bomber bonger bitch Rick bomb bomb rip I'm not hi bong rip yeah no no the animals I started eating the animals last time I went to the store was March 3rd I already was hit but I went to Vegas February 28th they were already talking about it in Vegas Vegas was at 50 occupancy I did not believe any like Little Esther do you know Little Esther she's the commissar who Little Esther asked her yes absolutely she's had a special come out by the way yeah everybody check it out it's so funny but she is one of my really good friends and she knew about this she was following someone's account that lived in Italy so she knew about this way before anyone was talking about on the news and she would talk to me about she was like are you scared I'm like I'm not fucking scared like

what are you talking about of course I'm not scared of shit like that like what are you talking about and then it got closer and then that last night at the comedy store I was on the lineup and I was like no guys I'm not doing it it was like that Friday night right before they shut everything down but we knew it was coming and I just went no I'm not and I was supposed to be in New York no March 9th through the 18th right I was supposed to be in New York so my anxiety started that when I got back from when I got back from Vegas I got on stage on Tuesday was the last time I went down to the store I did Sam's show and then on the way out I could smell it in the air on a Tuesday night it's when it's most packed the hallways and it was out already people were

talking about COVID but nobody was practicing shit at the store yeah and I was like I'm not coming down here no yeah I was like I knew that Tuesday but I wasn't going down there weeks before this happened maybe even the week before I was watching Joe on stage in the main room and you know they just changed the lights in the main room where they made it darker and it looked so cool do you remember like right yeah so I'm watching Rogan from the side and he I'm seeing how much spit is coming out of his mouth and I go oh man we have a really spitty job I've never really seen it with the lights low like that I go wow this is like a spitty ass job and then we're in a world where spit is a knife in your throat at this point so we're not it's great I was just thinking about that like

when I was in Italy and all over Asia I was I was watching the news but I never thought I was going to come here I was like maybe but like we'll be done in two weeks like Italy again dude we're cocky we're cocky February 28th when I was in Vegas and I was in slashes bodyguard came to the show cool he told me I've known him for years chemo he told me oh that guns and roses had to cancel their Asian tour and that they were about to only just do Mexico City that the United States tour was still men's and men's I'm like what are you talking about so I got hit with all this February 28th when I'm in Vegas and the manager that runs the comedy club is like the city of Las Vegas it's at 50% the following week for the UFC the city was at 14% I didn't tell us all this nobody was telling

you that I and so when he told me that they quit the guns and roses that's when I got hip to it and that Saturday I think I went to the store and then Sunday we did the podcast Monday I stayed in Tuesday I went to the store and I started to feel it I could smell it in the air I've always been one of those guys that like when you go to a childcare like a daycare you could smell like if you go to a school now if you ever have to go to a school now as an adult you could smell the flu in the air I mean I'm so glad that's it that was the scariest setup for a thing anyway what's that you know the smell when you go to yeah kids I'm like oh no no no no Joey not in this climate like when I used to drop off mercy you could smell the flu in the air oh they're dirty I was a nursery school teacher

I got shingles when I was 19 years old because I was a nursery school I'm supposed to be 87 years old when I get shingles for the first time I got like a grown-ups problem because the kids were so dirty they're dirty they can't help it when you go into a school now like when I drop mercy off at a school when you go in a classroom you could kind of smell something yeah something lives I know that's that smell that's not smell so I smelled that at the comedy store March 3rd oof I snucked it in that main room I went to the back there was 15 people in the green room and the door was closed there's no windows yeah I walked in and went oh and I fucking closed the door and ran to the back door and I stood by the back door until I went up on stage and then I went around and I

did my original room setting I'm like that's it because think about we're so addicted to what we do I mean we love like it's an adrenaline rush you know we perform every night we do these and then there's been we've all had probably those shows are like oh I probably should have stayed in I'm sick I should have stayed in another night like oh fuck I probably got people sick or whatever but you're not it's not sick that's gonna fucking kill them and then so people don't know that yet and then they're going in a little sick still and they're super contagious I mean so many people must have gotten it well in New York did you hear the the Michael Yo story I don't know how he got it okay Michael Yo is it Gotham mm-hmm and after we're doing the green room and it was Michael Yo

Jeffrey Gurian mm-hmm oh yeah Jeffrey Gurian big ball Pete leaves the Lampinelli's ex-husband yeah I know yeah yeah and Christmas early so they were all sitting in the green oh my god what a cast of characters so four of them out of the four of them three of them got COVID Christmas early didn't get it big ball Pete was in the hospital Jeffrey Gurian was in the house yeah I saw that Michael Yo was in the house damn I was supposed to be in New York that weekend I was gonna be in NIAC that Thursday thank god I have arthritis in my knee and Monday the 9th you tripped and you hurt that fucking knee on purpose no no no no no that was the hamstring in November see I was trying to twist make a twist I have arthritis in my knee and I had to go get a shot in my knee

a gel and the next day my knee swallowed up that Tuesday and I go this is my up I had NIAC on Thursday and then I was gonna hang in the city over the weekend and then go do the movie on St. Patty's Day and that Monday that was the original plan Tuesday I wake up the knee swollen I call the doctor and he goes don't fly till Saturday put ice on it so I took a picture of the knee and sent it to the producers I was just buying time yeah I was just buying time because I knew that guy in New York that guy went to Italy yeah the Jewish guy and he went to the synagogue in New Rochelle is this a this is a true story no no no no no no no it's a true story he went to a fucking synagogue and he spread it like wildfire he they must hate him in the neighborhood

they must fucking hate him in the neighborhood he fucked everybody it's the religious hangs and comedy he went to Italy to ski already he gets on my fucking nerves he couldn't just go to ask him like every other fucking Jew he had to go to fucking Italy to show off you know what I'm saying that's to tell people like we went there like I fucking hate that shit if you really if you really want to swish ski go to Switzerland you know I'm saying but no he had to go to Italy I'm not even gonna fucking get started because it pisses me off Jewish people supposed to be a little smarter than that shit you're cheap you're not supposed to go to Italy you're supposed to go to fucking parameters New Jersey like every other fucking Jew and ski right every other Jew

goes to parameters where the fuck what's it called well I used to go to Waterville in Maine but yeah whatever they go up Waterville is a place I think so imagine you're naming a town you're like hmm how about Waterville that's the worst name I've ever heard can you pass me those Lysol wipes I'm getting so paranoid what what's happening I just want to wipe off the mic I'm just imagining I'm so I spray everything I wipe everything I mean I trust because my daughter does there's nothing in there there's one I want to save it for you no no take it because I got more you're older than me you're more at risk no go you have arthritis in your knee it's a pre-existing so that's what fucking saved me I didn't have to go they canceled the shoot Friday night and let me tell you something

I couldn't even breathe on fucking I couldn't even breathe by that time my anxiety was so fucking bad it just sucks that the symptoms of anxiety are the same as COVID heavy breathing and body aches I don't know do you get body aches I don't get body aches either I just said a thing and I'm trying to but it was weird what we discussed in the beginning of the podcast that we all this was good that it happened I think we were and this includes me and it's a sad statement to make I think we're all as comedians we were like codependent on that comedy store not as a living but as like a cry I don't know what it was I don't know what it was and it was looking at it from a different angle to find out that it wasn't normal yeah well there's always this really fun exciting

adrenaline rush hang I mean it was it was so fun hanging out in the back and the VIP and stuff I mean I would talk to Joe every night we just like I can't believe this our lives I mean obviously his life is a little different than mine but it's just I still feel very like blessed and lucky that this is a thing I've done but every night multiple shows a night constantly having to but I was saying to you I had so much anxiety I didn't realize I had the minute that all of a sudden stand-up wasn't an option I was thinking about how every day I would wake up and be like fuck I have to write a new joke or I have to you know I want to just so much pressure on myself all the time you know about two years ago after Robin Williams killed himself CNN did a thing about the

dark side of comedy and I wouldn't watch it I'm like right away and I'm gonna start here we go you know the dark side of fucking comedy you know during this pandemic I thought about that documentary and I thought about there is a dark side to comedy and we're living through it now but it made me realize that our little thing with the comedy store wasn't normal it was like a mother's tit like type of damn like we went out during the week and then we we couldn't wait to rush back to the store and I've been playing that game for 23 fucking years and about three years ago is when I stayed out of the store for seven years yeah I just stayed out of the fucking store I didn't get thrown out I didn't

nothing I just said one day I'm not coming back down here and I didn't go down there for seven fucking years so when I went back it still was the store it still had the vibe but there was a different air to it now I would have fun but I gotta be honest with you any every time I went down there I couldn't wait to get the fuck out of there like there was just too many people it wasn't my nook anymore it wasn't my little club anymore you know they had a they had to put a fucking bar in the back for comics you know and that and people still went back there it was really annoying coming into the fucking conversation it was very you couldn't have a conversation you cannot have a conversation at the store anymore you couldn't just talk to somebody you didn't stay

late enough you had you got oh yeah you had to go down there but then you had to deal with the drugs and all that shit that I wasn't like people said I didn't even know people were doing drugs at the store I just saw weed and one day somebody said to me oh it's way till you leave the shit don't start here till about quarter to 12 you know that's when it pops off down here quarter to 12 I'm dreaming already I'm already like fucking watching Netflix passing the fuck out so but it wasn't you know what night became my favorite night Sunday Sundays were good Sunday you zipping it out of it and cool vibe zipping it out of it I like them but Tuesday the money was great it was a lot of fun but it was starting to get old it was like it got a little too big it got a little too big on

Tuesdays and I appreciate it and I'm glad to be a part of it I was a part of history up there down there but at the same time as a comic it wasn't our hook anymore it wasn't we went there to work now it wasn't any let me talk to you for a second we bullshit for now it's right so you can't have a conversation with rogan god forbid you have a conversation with rogan and you buy a fucking door god forbid you got to go it's god for late night in the in the vip room but you got to talk about him attacking bears it always turned into bear talk when you went back to the store you kept saying it was uh it was right after the CISO special and he said like metal shrapnel shrapnel and you wanted to be around like really good comics like that how are you planning on like getting the best

of both worlds when you go back to back where to jersey I have no idea I have no idea I'm not even worried about it I've already worked with the best of the best I'm just looking to I'm 57 years old guys okay I'm not once you start getting older you don't look that good on fucking stage all right it starts you start looking a little bit fucking embarrassing you know I look at the fucking youtube tapes I'm old so now I'm gonna go up there and sell I gotta sell and my audience is young I would feel better if my audience was my age but people my age would don't want to listen to my stupidity it's just 20 year olds that want to listen to my dumb uncle Joey shit so do you understand the beef I'm in you should name yourself nephew Joey so then older people come I guess I mean I mean I

from my point of view if I was like one of the better car I wouldn't care if I was older on stage but then I watch like I watch you know you watch uh what's a guy the guy that you know run run white you watch my idol fucking uh red fox you know he was on Samson so he was old and after that he went on the road he was fucking even older I'll go on the road till I could tolerate it you know till I could tolerate it but I like I said guys I don't see this coming back till next April okay next April February start up slow two spots try to work up to half hour it's just a guess at this point we don't know what's gonna happen there's no reason to put energy into the future it's like enjoying what we're doing now if people I hate when people go I can't

wait to see you on the road you got you retarded so you're saying that you retarded oh I love it you retarded yeah like what the fuck are you talking about what the fuck is wrong with you coming to England anytime yeah nobody's even fucking thinking like you try to human people but people are as dumb as fuck oh and then they'll always ask they'll go they'll go oh when are you coming to Colorado I'm like I was just there before the fucking thing you missed it people just break your balls there's there are people that just as soon as you leave the town don't wake up on Monday and go when are you coming back you're like you stupid motherfucker you could answer them that but then you start figuring it out ah they're just fucking with me yeah who knows I don't even

remember my jokes I I remember who they offended I remember like lesbians didn't like one gay guys didn't like another there's a lot of stuff from scratch yeah I understand I'm looking I am looking forward to going to a pizza parlor that has an open mic I don't know when I'll be ready I'll call you and let you know I'll be on my couch one night and I'll go you know what it's time to do stand up again that's all I know that's all I know right now that's all I know I know I'm gonna take a break from podcasting I don't know what I'm gonna do yet I really don't people are already fucking he's going to gas digital it's like it's like I'm fucking uh Tom Brady now I feel like Tom Brady he's going over here he's going over there he's doing a podcast I haven't talked to anybody about

a podcast at all in fact I gotta come command again Lewis Gomez who called me and he goes I heard you're moving to Jersey and he goes I'm gonna be 20 minutes from you and he goes do you want to how old is your daughter seven I go my son is seven you can you want them to play together I thought that was the sweetest call in the world and he didn't mention anything I mean when I hung up the phone I said I love him even more because he didn't mention a podcast yeah don't even ask me about a podcast now there was one guy who asked me about a podcast and I knew he would ask me I fucking knew it as soon as he found out he was gonna fucking hit me up and sure enough he hit me two days ago and I said to him you are fucking predictable I go that's why I'm moving an hour from

the city so I don't have to do I'm taking a break I don't want to do nobody's podcast I don't want to do none I want to do whatever fulfill this contract here and just move my family I got a 10-day quarantine period we're staying in corporate housing tremendous my buddy hooked it up the whole fucking deal we signed on the first we move in she goes to school on the 8th check with me then yeah and I'll let you know how I'm feeling I'm supposed to shoot a movie the rest of the Sopranos towards the end of September after that I'll see how I'm feeling well you don't have to make any decisions I think that that's the lesson that we're learning in this too we had no control I think we had this idea this illusion of control we have no control you have no control all you have this

is great controlling your own moment this is great this is like living in a twilight zone it's been a twilight zone life yeah and some days are good and some days are bad some days you wake up and have a lot of anxiety and some days I have dick yeah you know what this feels like a really crazy mushroom trip or something it feels like an ego death with hallucinogens because if you think about the way it's taken because in the beginning I was so I was relieved and then I got really anxious and then I'm having these moments of just appreciating life so much more than I would have any other time I mean definitely like worrying about death and mortality and we also don't know when it's gonna end having no clue when it's gonna end we're not much like this is never gonna end

I'm always like I gotta drink more water I'm sweating it's uh it's been like a it's a bad dream it really is a bad dream and it's been a or a good one you know for some listen there's always gonna be a silver lining to this you're always at the end of this you're gonna go I accomplished this during this I get it for me it was getting the fuck out of here and I'm not like it it's not because I hate California I'm not one of those people are gonna tell you California sucks or over taxes I'm not saying anything about that the truth of the matter was it was just time to go you know it was just well all this this something opens up and you just take the opportunity I said it I'm I said it on this podcast in March I said I guarantee this is gonna give people a lot of

time to think this is the first time people have thought since high school since that's I think in high school since your summer before college this is the first time people have had a chance to go what the fuck just happened yeah I went to college I became I went to college to be a fucking editor and all of a sudden I'm an LA on a podcast eating fucking edibles I met a girl you know you meet took your girl you meet a guy you fall in love you have a kid and one day you wake up you're 36 you got a house you're a fucking programmer at a company I'm 37 I have none of those things I just want to well you got 70s coming so at least you got that maybe yeah no but that that you didn't come to any realizations from this no I really have well I think it's

I've really realized how much we rely on comfort and we think that comfort is this thing we're entitled to when life is about adversity overcoming things the struggle getting through it maintaining yourself it's survival until you don't survive and that's okay too and I think that I really realize how everything is equally as beautiful as it is hideous so in this situation where this is terrible all these people are dying I mean it's a horrible thing we don't know what's going on we don't know what the truth is about this it's very anxious also I'm seeing my nieces at home with their parents all day like so bonded loving each other getting along growing in a way that they never would in their relationship and I mean my it's it's really there's things that are amazing well

I made a decision early on I made a decision like by March 27th I'm uh I love my wife you know I've been my wife for 20 years I love everything about my wife sometimes she bends my ear she talks to me too much when I come in beside that that's how we were all you know when I walk in I got bent a few years when I walk in I got a P I got a P I got to put my shit down yeah I just need two minutes and in 20 years she'll never give it to my wife will come in and go are you hungry and I'm like give me five minutes isn't that so funny when you get annoyed when someone's trying to help you yeah just give me five breakfast and bed out of my fucking face you know and my daughter will come in once my daughter comes in I'm

fucked I can't tell her to give me five minutes she's fucking she's not a count yeah she won't so what but she even she doesn't jump out of me yeah that's the only complaint I have about my wife that sometimes when I walk in when we were together and I'd go on the road when we didn't have the kid after two days of being alone three days when I come in Sunday I'd have to put the funnels in my ear because he's viewing Jack yeah when women don't see you for three days they start spewing and you know but beside that I have no beef with my wife I think like by March 27th I was having like a little nervous breakdown in the back office and I I said to myself for this to work I have to come together with my wife I can't be in this room at night typing on a computer

and my wife because I would watch the news with her and once Jeopardy comes on I'd get up or sometimes I'd go back in there my daughter before after the bath she'll come out and we'll all watch TV for like 45 minutes some stupid Disney world thing but once she would go away I would go into my office and get on the computer and tweet and read Yahoo and COVID and it's affecting this and you know I was buying I turned off the computer one night I go whoa whoa whoa whoa I had just done Rogan I had just done Rogan that week so it was the last week of March and I figured out that for this to work I had to come together with my wife that I couldn't be kind of like scared of my wife I couldn't be away from her so that decision made us a lot stronger as a family that did happen

I could sit here and tell you that the most troublesome time was when my daughter wasn't in school that was the hardest period we had keeping her entertained but amongst ourselves we really didn't have any struggles there was no yelling I was really surprised we haven't really gotten any arguments because I knew how much pressure this when somebody tells you they love you they're not gonna bring your balls that's what I love you means that I'm gonna make your life as easy as possible for you as I can that's what I love you means I love you doesn't mean that I bring fucking drama into your life I love you means that I'm not gonna bring no drama into your life that's what people have to realize so when you tell somebody I love you don't bring

any fucking drama I'm not dragging no cats into your house I'm not dragging no cops into your world I'm not you know no that should I used to do when I was 20 well I do now you know that's what I love you means you know that's why when I was a kid I used to take offense like when a girl cheated on somebody or one of my friends cheated on a girl because you tell that person you love them you know what I'm saying like I love you that means I'm not supposed to yeah if you're gonna lie to any drama once you tell somebody I love you everything else is bullshit but once you tell somebody I love you that means you're not bringing any drama into that life at all you're gonna be the best fucking friend you could be and I had to realize that with my wife if not she would have

been in Tennessee by now yeah I know that for a fact it was like we're gonna drive back we were excited we're gonna stop and see the Grand Canyon and then what about one Saturday my wife got a little my she got busy in the daytime or something something happened and we didn't take mercy to the park something and it was like 2 30 maybe on a Saturday and that was one of the days I came out of the office and I looked at my daughter in the living room and her cheeks were fucking red and I go Terry you see this she goes what and I go look at the mercy's cheeks and she came home and she's like oh are you sick and I go Terry are you fucking serious does she look fucking sick to you she's gonna get her out no she was sitting there

and she just seems yeah so after that day I go I started thinking about it we were excited for the drive we were gonna stop in Utah yeah we were gonna stop she told me the cities we had it all planned out we if we left Monday we'd get there on Saturday but we had to stop five days and we were gonna stop Wednesday somewhere for like a long period of time and I started thinking about my daughter sitting there for fucking from eight to two like she was in the bedroom watching tv and the nintendo stick and then she draws but just that shit not running that almost killed it like her cheeks were fucking on fire so I go so you mean to tell me we're gonna do this to this little girl for five fucking days where she's just gonna get out at rest stops I know it's just not enough

and stretch even if you took an hour that's not gonna work with three cats going cat's don't travel that's not gonna end disney radio because my daughter listens to disney radio it's like the same song it's like the same song over and over the same three young teenage girls singing over and over I sat my wife down I go listen why don't we fly because by Indianapolis I guarantee you either be dropping me off at a mental institution or we're falling for the worse that's just too much for the little girl that's why I didn't drive if it was me and huh fuck you yeah I'd be fine yeah I'd be fine I'd get a gun yeah and fucking drive you know not worry about anything don't haul nothing you're not gonna haul nothing because they're gonna rob you on the road

you know they're gonna rob you on the road there's people there's a bunch of mad maxes out there right now looking for motherfuckers to come through that time that's what they're looking for it's you a girl like you in california plates with a ton of shit in the back they I know follow you wait it's just trash though yeah it's just yeah whatever come get my empty water bottles bitch no but whatever the fuck it is that's why I didn't want to drive yeah I didn't want to I think road trips if it's the right vibe are amazing but if there's one no no no yeah yeah if there's one thing off which a kid is never the right thing if you have kids plural then it ain't bad I don't know because they talk to each other they communicate with each other but her by herself

with fucking earphones on all day no that's not gonna yeah that's not gonna have you gone out to nature at all during this yeah we went to the beach it's so nice right we go up to ventura there's not a soul on the I have never experienced california like this that's another one that's another thing that's what the other thing that people never realized I went camping up past mammoth it was the most fun I did mushrooms on a hike with Curtis you know the the guy works the comic store he took us on I mean it was crazy I had the most fun I was in I thought dinosaurs were gonna walk by it was so beautiful I couldn't believe where I was like are humans allowed here gorgeous and then and camping being in a tent you can't understand why the homeless people are

doing like that's like not a bad life just being in a tent warm out pop out go get a coffee come back but we did that we went um my girlfriend for her birthday I guess it was sort of our joint birthday a couple weeks ago we did everyone got covid tests and then we went to big bear we rented a boat it was nice renting a boat you got a covid test after that too I didn't what the fuck did you get the covid test well it was it was over two weeks ago I didn't get it so crazy but it was good it was nice we didn't go anywhere just in the house but it was nice went on a boat in the open air you can't go in the water in big bear though there's like toxic algae really yeah you can't go swimming but it's just nice I got a tan I never got a tan in my life I've always been performing

oh no I got I got a third degree sunburn doing this motherfucker you think I'm kidding I still got it I still got it I do think I may look back at this summer and go like oh she had to pull the fucking skin off my back oh yeah I've been peeling my wife was pulling the skin you should have seen it was like I had a ball of dead skin I threw it Lee one night imagine that's how you get covid oh no I'm sorry I just trust me he's giving me a lot worse than covid please he's got his own problems don't worry about nothing this poor bastard he wants to go to Denver in Glendale good you keep thinking that wait they take your car and tie you up and shit out there are you gonna drive yeah that's not good area huh that's not a good area I don't fucking know where in Glendale

because he took me to Denver a couple years ago and there's this place to get green chili and I was like I kind of want to stop for a day on the ride and I won't don't who knows when I'll be in Denver again so yeah I was gonna stop near there and get green chili she had green chili from Santa Fe I lived in Santa Fe for seven years I have to go north what are you doing Santa Fe I went to the college of Santa Fe which went out of business I went for eight years on and off I'm finally graduated two years or two weeks before the college went out of business and so I went to school there and then I was a bartender in a waitress a go-go dancer or nanny I was there from I moved to New York in late 2008 and I started college there in 2000

or 2001 September 11th happened I was literally I was with my boyfriend freshman year when September so when did you live in Santa Fe uh from 2001 to 2008 we were there shooting a movie oh I was there I met everyone the longest yard yeah I didn't meet you I was a go-go dancer at SWIG remember that club oh my god I was in I'm in Adam Sandler has a music video um with Nick sports and in it about it's called secret it's about him shaving his bush and his dick looking bigger I'm in that fucking video those are my balls are you I'm in the back those are your balls those are my balls in the video that's so funny Joey I'm in the background dancing in it yeah those are my I'm in it that's so funny I've seen your balls a lot my brother comes out I'm

living at home at the time or I'm visiting or something and my twin brother comes out he goes you know what he was I watched that music video and and then I shaped and I cut my my balls or whatever it's like oh god because of that because of your balls that's so funny that's your balls I was so you must have shot that the first six weeks in Santa Fe maybe I mean I was there I mean the first six weeks I was saying were you staying at hotel Santa Fe fuck yeah I was there with uh Stone Cold Steve Austin hanging out all night yeah my god I walk that's so running I wouldn't I wouldn't hang out with those fucking savages oh it was fun it was and I was drinking those are my crazy days it was crazy down there with Stone Cold the big guy

the wrestlers had their own clique did you meet Tate then yeah that's not my Tate that's so funny yeah because I knew Tate for years really yeah Tate's girlfriend Tate um Heather yeah I bartended with her at the cowgirl come on yeah I worked at the cowgirl for years Sam Shepard used to come in you remember Sam Shepard the playwright he didn't work on that movie yes yes he used to come I met so many crazy people Val Kilmer came Val Kilmer all the time came in a couple times um what's his name um that was in Mariel Tenenbaum's he played the dad well Gene Hackman Gene Hackman yeah now what's the name lives in Santa Fe correct uh pretty woman Julia Roberts she lives I think in Pecos or somewhere she has a ranch somewhere but I never saw her in town I thought about Santa Fe this time

it would be fun to be quarantined there I thought about that too I thought about moving to Santa Fe it's expensive really I live there seven years Lee it's expensive it's an hour from Albuquerque which is hell yeah Albuquerque yo I did a I did a I love it I love Albuquerque dude I went on a hot air balloon ride yeah Albuquerque yeah no fuck yeah I was like Albuquerque is the is just as hideous from a bird's eye view than it is on the ground I went over the Cottonwood Mall the balloon took us over the fucking mall I was crying laughing it was the least beautiful balloon ride you ever it didn't go over the mountains at all the wind took us over the mall so funny I'm in the fucking that's so funny dude you probably came I was probably dancing one of the nights you were there

I was the one with no rhythm that where I didn't go to swig you never know it wasn't a strip club no I wasn't a stripper it was just they had three podiums and then there was my friend was the manager there once and I just one night she was like here I'll give you 50 bucks if you dance on that thing so I just went up drunk was like just dancing regular and she gave me 50 bucks and they're like come back we'll give you 50 bucks an hour so I used to just go dance and I was the worst dancer there was one guy who was there was uh like a cute little gay boy and then there was Brandy who's a drag queen who's Calvin during the day Brandy at night so she would have like her duct tape and stuff and everyone would come up like you have duct tape I'm like no my girl

because it's kind of a gay club or it was it's not there anymore but it was the only club in Santa Fe so I went to one party that he listened I was there for six weeks where was it I was there for six weeks where was the party the party was Adam Sandler threw a party on a saturday night one night at one of those fancy places at swig it was at swig yeah one of those fancy places I went early I got my coke and I left Tracy Morgan Tracy Morgan was there you want me to tell you something I only did coke the one night I went to Tate's Tate's girlfriend oh yeah what's the name of the cowgirl the cowgirl barn girl oh my god I might have served I was there for probably four weeks sober maybe three I was not there for one day sober

in seven years and I finally broke down I go I'm not going to get high in Santa Fe yeah it's not you know and I got high one time I pulled it all night it was fucking hilarious the story that goes with it did you do coke with the manager of the bar no a little black lady no I just asked somebody and they came back with a package and then there was a girl Adam Sandler threw a party there every Friday or every couple Fridays every two weeks Adam would have a party so the first Friday we were all went to the cowgirl yeah Tate was there his girlfriend was there Tracy Morgan was there Tracy Morgan was wild Tracy and Nick the tour and Lobo at a table and I remember that we walked out of the hotel Santa Fe and we saw Adam didn't stay at the hotel at the hotel Santa Fe I think he had

a house or something but he came to the hotel and I walked downstairs with Tracy and Tracy goes look at my man Adam and shit and Adam came out of the car saw Tracy Morgan and it was like oh fuck I forgot this motherfucker's crazy this is when Tracy Morgan was at his fucking well he was also playing a gay cheerleader this is on the way up of his craziness because when we came back he started hanging out at the store and then he started going out with the comics and he got thrown out of he got thrown out of what's on the bottom of La Cienega oh yes strip club no no no it it's like a bar if you go down oh Barney's Barney's been a really do you gotta get kicked out that's karaoke so he was getting thrown out of bars every fucking night when he was here he would go to the

commie store yeah and come get me and I would go oh my god yeah he's crazy he was crazy I remember him just drunk he had his because he was playing the cheerleader right so he had his shirt up tied like that at the club and he was crawling like this on the ground over no idea I was like what and then I was meeting it was such a funny because I you know I'd lived in Philly and then I'd never met that's when I when I met everyone I realized because I became friends with Sandler's chef for a while Albert I don't know if you remember him but I don't know if it's still his guy I haven't talked to him in years but I became friends with him and he was I remember him going like you should be with us you shouldn't be in this town I remember like remembering that

being like I should move to LA and I met comedians and I was like now that I've met comedians maybe I could be one that delusion but then I guess it worked out but I really I mean that was a pretty big deal that was a huge deal I still remember going with Steakhouse um Del Charo or but like all of us going to a Steakhouse and fucking people were flipping out well Santa Fe was the best because they did tax cuts so we would get all these celebrities it was so fun you know I'd always been like walk over and just Josh Brolin or someone or I mean Sam Shepherd and I were tight he used to come hang out at the bar well this actually the story ends really sadly but um he so he would come to the bar and I would serve him all the time and he you know we talk and

I got off early once we were sitting there and he was like you know I was like you know Sam I was drunk I was 23 I was like you know I thought I'd be something by now so funny 23 and he's like well what do you want to do and I was like I want to do comedy I've done improv before but I want to do stand-up and he's like oh that's really I would never want to do improv we're talking like that and he goes I go I just thought I would do something extraordinary with my life and he goes you are extraordinary and I go I am and he goes yeah you're gay right because my my best friend was this lesbian who looked like a boy and I go no I'm not gay and he goes oh I thought you were gay I was like I'm not gay so then every time I'd see my bike Sam Shepherd

thinks I'm gay I was like I'm gonna make shirts and say that and then I told him I wanted to move to New York and do comedy and I moved to New York and do comedy and my first month there so it was like a year later I'm working at this restaurant next right off Tompkins Park and I'm I'm putting all of the table settings on the outside tables and Sam Shepherd walks by with his family and I go oh my god I go Sam oh my god I go it's me I did it I'm doing I started doing open bikes I'm doing comedy and he goes did this used to be a jazz bar and I was like okay so there's Sam I was like but I think he remembered but it's like you don't know where you know there was a lot of drinking back then but it was so funny it was so cool to see him and I used to wait on Sam

Rockwell and at Burr's Christmas party Sam Rockwell was there and I was like I used to wait on you and he's like you did and that and it was just like such a good moment it was just cool all these people I told I was gonna do something I did it good for you man I didn't know you were down there with us is that crazy and more in the same but let me tell you something I had done this the Santa Fe run and then we came back and we were now at Paramount and we were at we were at Paramount and we were at Redondo Beach we shot the football scenes in Redondo Beach training camp was in Santa Fe and that place that the movies been on every night this week oh really oh it's on every fucking night now every night you guys were the the football field you used was that at a high

score did you go down to in the prison oh the prison that's right we were at the actual so it was just you know when I when I see that movie on tv that's playing I always look watch it for a minute it doesn't even have to be my scene it could be any scene and I just smile it's changing yeah because you cannot imagine what it meant to me at that time you know like I was at the economy store no agents would sign me nobody would talk to me I had like a shitty agent no manager and I popped that fucking movie and now like I'm like watch my fucking heat now yeah and when that movie came and I was in the fucking trailer Joey this is so exciting I haven't seen the movie in so long I didn't even realize

I was in the fucking trailer a couple times dude I was in the fucking when Edwin it was Edwin San Juan I was in Houston Texas doing Christmas and Edwin San Juan called me and he goes bro I just went to see such and such but they played the trailer for the fucking longest yard and you're in it that's so exciting are you serious and you have a line oh fuck yeah cool fuck yeah and the trailer I got that's so awesome because he asked us the meme machine is some shit yeah yeah something about Diet Coke that's so cool that was the trailer and something else and I was like no way but even like you know we did the premiere at Kimmel's and they turned it into a football stadium you know what Hollywood High is right across the street they turned it they put artificial turf

that's so fun chill it is oh that's so fun you should have seen the fucking premiere yeah you know and I like when we were on the set he had strippers from Malbuquerque and he was paying them they would come brawling girls oh one of the girls one of those girls was they brought her go-go dancing I fucked up my go-go dancing game because she was such a hoe I was like no you can't touch me or the guys would come just watch her I'm like no she had fake tits and she'll put the pasties on her name is Lisa I liked her she was cool but she was a stripper and she would come and it was just me and a drag queen and like a gay dude before and was just like I would get drunk fall off the podium and stuff like I was so wasted I'm not a good dancer either I could believe what

a party town that was it's well there's nothing else to do I had to leave I would have died I had to quit drinking now what was the strip club the disgusting oh cheeks I went there didn't need a net to catch crabs so where'd I go I went to the dinner with Adam I went to the country the bar you worked at the cowgirls in six weeks let me tell you how many nights I went out I went to the cowgirl twice I went to that pot party Adam threw on a Saturday night that's where yeah club and I went to the strip club one time cheeks was not good and which was a nightmare Fridays and Saturdays I wouldn't come home I get in the car and just drive on I wouldn't go to Albuquerque I go into the mountains to house and all that shit because I had my own car but to get back to your video then

we'll wrap it up the movie had already we had shot the football scenes already now we were shooting like like when Lobo gets called in like we were shooting just a bunch of interior stuff I think a couple people were even done already I think like Adam was still working but like maybe Rob what's his name Chris Rob not Chris was done and starred a movie the original Bert Reynolds yeah and it was just a couple of us we were going in but we were in f-series so that means you had to work every day so there were days I was going in and I wouldn't do deck like I knew I wasn't gonna do deck but they'd make me go in anyway to break my board didn't have smartphones yet huh you didn't have a smartphone yet

yeah we did we had something because I had a phone flip phones yeah we had something you didn't have the internet no but we I used to just bring like books and there was dvd players yeah there were all that I'm trying to teach myself to read over yeah I still read you have to try to teach my dude Rogan okay I was in the VIP room before all this happened and he was talking about this guy he was supposed to work with on something years ago and he he goes the guy pulled out his computer and he started like typing like this and he goes you're never gonna be a writer like that and he's saying that to me and I'm going oh fuck I skipped typing class because it gave me headaches the computer so I'm like this is how I type so I was

like oh shit so over the break I've been taking like Mavis Beacon I'm pretty much a Billy Madison myself so you learn how to type I'm learning from like kindergarten up probably I'm educated yeah I did type in class in high school so yeah no I'm real I'm trying to learn it because like that was the class I got out of I can't do it like the way I used to but I'm still pretty fast I'm trying to do it but it's so hard because it's I mean why is the fucking oh there I used to use a typewriter so I'm old school yeah I go with the fucking typewriter so we had finished fucking shooting just a couple of us and I went in there one day and then one of Adam's assistants comes up to me and he's right I hear a knock on the door and they're like hey Adam wants to talk to you

fuck I wonder what the fuck I did because I was always late man towards the end I can't believe they gave you a car that seems like a batch of toys yeah that was just a fuck up we did 17 fucking weeks guys after 10 weeks the fucking party was over yeah like everybody was getting sick yeah after 10 weeks like it was pads every day an hour of fucking tattoos and it was rough guys this was not you know you know every fucking day I'm not complaining I'm not complaining but it just got old really fast afford to drive and like in it rushed you know Santa Fe was our see when we were in Santa Fe Paramount wasn't there yeah so it was a party there was nobody there to watch it once we came back Paramount was there yeah so now it was a little bit of a different side

so now everybody was uh everybody was cool now we're on the lot now you really can't do dick so it was just a couple of us on the lot so one day I got a knock on the door and the kid goes Adam wants to see you and I thought you know I go right now yeah you know you gotta drive I'm gonna drive you I go okay so are you getting the fucking scooter or whatever the fuck yeah I love those golf carts he takes me to Adams and I walk in they're playing basketball on his office yeah the basketball court I'm like what the fuck is going on here and Adam he goes uh I forget what he used to call me he used to call me fucking something but Tony Tony he said Tony he goes Tony let me ask you something because one day I was sitting with my shorts on and my ball popped out

and I didn't know and he walked over to me and he was like listen I gotta talk to you about something that little fucking uh what do you call those bags speed bag he goes your speed bag is out he's popping out that's the biggest nut I've ever seen in my life you're like I'm gonna put that in music video is that two or one I go what are you talking about he goes your little speed bag that's who used to call it my speed bag is that so I put my nut back in my short and I guess he just stayed with him and one day he calls me I go into his office he goes big Tony can I talk to him yeah what's up Adam he goes listen next wants to do a video and he wants to know if he could just do a shot of your balls but I still remember his face and how he asked me like he was dead serious

he's like if you don't want to do it I understand but he just wants to do a video your balls I go whatever so be it let's do it he goes all right let me I'm excited yes so he calls over whatever and also another cart comes and gets me Adam and I go over I meet next wants and and they actually have a camera set up with like lights and a little thing where I'm gonna put my balls and hold my dick oh my god so I had to hold my dick and just let my balls hang and what's the name of the video the secret secret video okay the secret video so for people who are not watching it and I'm gonna don't blink you'll miss me really it's that fast oh I'm in it so fast but I have like a camouflage mini skirt on and a black shirt I'm blonde I got hair like my nose it's so funny let me know it was a

pleasure seeing you I can't believe that you fucking your balls and I were the fate that's brought us together can you believe that that is crazy that's crazy I did not that is beautiful I love you I missed you you had a boyfriend now at the time uh at that time I don't think so how is a girl as pretty as you single how all these fucking girls single um I don't know you want a boyfriend how do you feel now I would I think I might want I think I might want to have I just can't I don't know if I want to have kids or not I'm not at a a place yet where I would want to have kids I do feel a little old for an abort I don't want you don't want to go to the abortion clinic with your with crow's feet it's fucking humiliating

so I you know I but you know if something happened I probably wouldn't I'm at the age where I wouldn't get rid of it where you are you I'm not I don't even know I'm trying to ask you are you not sad do you wish you had somebody during the I mean I I'm not gonna I'm not gonna comment but I'm not I'm doing all right okay I have you know I have I have no I know I have an unpaid intern all right no no I'm I'm I'm doing good okay I'm not alone good good I thought you had something on this I'm not alone girl girl is good looking as you always had something on the side get your life together I yeah I'm happy I'm having a really you look great man thank you so do you I'm gonna miss you I know I miss you too but thank you very much for coming on my families

in Philly I'll see you when I thank you for helping me out that night of course I slept that night I never forgot that I will never forget being in the backseat of my car in crucial pain and going and in the middle of all this fucking Annie let him in ask me if I wanted to blow job and I looked at you and you went hey you come here give me and I fucking I told my wife when I got home that night and they took she took my pants off and they saw the blood on my leg like it was just purple and and I go on do you want me to tell you what the worst thing this Terry in the whole middle of this any letter but I asked me if I wanted to blow job let me get one of the guys to give it to you and we started fucking howling and like I always tell people like I'm the type of guy that

luck I don't I don't want to say this I don't love it but I love it when somebody I love helping people like when somebody passes in your life I'm the guy that calls you since my mom died I know how it feels but I love calling you and taking your mind off it yeah I'll ask you like a creepy question like did you did you leave you anything in the will yeah you know like you go Joey what kind of question oh it's fucking joy and then you'll go thank god you did that later like a week later you go you don't know what it meant to me you made me laugh because you take yourself away you really do it you know so that night I was in so much fucking pain and I didn't know what had happened I thought my leg was broken I thought my femur was broken I thought there was

so many things that were broken dude in the middle of all that you came over and made me laugh my ass off and for that I'll never fucking forget so you ever need anything you in a bind you fucking put a smile on my face got any tragedies I'll come make fun of you oh my god it was tremendous you saved the fucking night thank you for coming anytime honey don't forget Annie Letterman is also on patreon yeah head up my it's just patreon slash Annie Letterman and then hit me up on instagram and I have a podcast on my youtube channel called mean spiration but my youtube channel is just also slash Annie Letterman okay you're beautiful man keep doing what you're doing I love you don't give up and when you come back to Philly give me a call I will ever you're an hour motherfucking

away this girl's where you're moving to Jersey Rogan's going to Texas Whitney's got pink hair everything's going nuts everybody's going nuts thank you very much I love you I love you thanks Lee thank you listen you've all been in lockdown for months like I said in the beginning I think he watched everything on fucking Netflix everything but with Express VPN you can trick the computer into thinking you're in a different country and you'll be able to watch just about anything in the fucking world I know you're bored but do you want to watch every episode of Fresh Prince of Bel Air Netflix in Australia has it and with Express VPN you do too it works for any service Netflix amazon youtube bbs choose from over a hundred countries listen to me man my wife has this

Express VPN this is tremendous why my wife watches all the english stuff I don't watch that she likes all that funny english stuff I don't watch she's probably watching it right fucking now as we speak with Express VPN you can unlock thousands of movies and tv shows that are only available in other countries Express VPN is ridiculously fast streaming hd no buffering and it works for every person and device in your home can you fucking believe that it's easy as pie to use even for a fucking Momo like me just push one button seamless so protect your online activity today with VPN that I trust to secure my privacy right now listeners of the church can go to expressvpn.com slash church again expressvpn.com slash church to get an extra

three months free on a one-year package that's expressvpn.com slash church support the podcast but most importantly protect yourself and expressvpn.com church is also brought to you by audit.com as far as I'm concerned the fucking goods alpha brain shroom tech shroom tech immune which you should be taking right now fucking new mood the protein powders the mct oil go to audit.com go to their website look at their products start with alpha brain start with the 30 count see if you don't like it you get your money back and you get to keep the product what the fuck we talking about here go to audit.com right now and press in church bam and get 10% off your order deliver right the house I want to thank you motherfuckers for supporting us in our

last few episodes here these episodes have been a little rough to do but hey you got to do them more men here you know what I'm saying I love you guys wash your pussy bow to your balls it's going to be a hot week take this motherfucking mule league you