Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #813 - Sam Tripoli

Episode Date: August 17, 2020

Sam Tripoli, a stand up comedian and host of the, "Tin Foil Hat" and "Punch Drunk," podcasts, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in studio. This podcast is brought to you by: DraftKings - Download DraftKings Sportsbook now and use code CHURCH to get $1000 sign up bonus.    Gabi - go to Gabi.com/Joey to see how much you can save on your car and home owners insurance. 

Greetings from podcastville. It's Monday the 17th of August you bad motherfuckers The church is brought to you by draft Kings. Listen. I know you saw the UFC on Saturday night fucking tremendous Sports have been up in the air as a pelican who stole my hot dog in Michigan. You don't know what's going on Draft Kings is a sure thing. No more bookies in dark alleys meeting them at a diner on fucking Thursday with their fucking attitude Fuck them. But when you want where you want, you don't even have to leave your house this week The NBA playoffs start you fucking believe that Download the draft King sports book now all new users get a sign-up bonus of up to one grand a thousand dollars draft King sports book is legit that based right here in the US and your money is secure

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G a bi dot com slash Joey and save money Gabby comm slash Joey kick this motherfucking meal Fucking Since I'm counting down the last episodes of the church I wanted to bring this young gentleman in who I've basically grown up with He's a G in his own right, mr. Sam mother fucking triply. I know you're looking at the studio going Joey What happened you got a victim? No, we're cleaning this motherfucker out. We took everything out walls tables Pictures in like three hours

We worked like if you drop a car off in Harlem and go see your grandmother upstairs when you come down There's just a chassis That's what happened here. Those are the people I run with They fucking came in here and they're like we might as well take the walls down they took the tables down and we're bare bones What's happening Sammy trips? Well, it's honored beyond the last week, dude. I might start crying. I'm super sad Everybody's leaving. I'm gonna miss you guys very much that sucks But you're leaving you'll be here holding it down like a motherfucker ten four on it

I see that ten four broke the top 40 on Nitoons you're making waves. Yeah, you know Sam trips. I gotta tell you something when I met you 20 years ago Okay, let me get this out of the way right now because you're gonna make your opinion also and I'm gonna tell you why you're gonna die Lee Sam triply was a fucking punk Sam triply started a fight with me one night on the stage But I could not understand people like what's his problem? I don't know He's my brother because I was talking about an Armenian drug dealer who I spoke to yesterday and he goes I have a gun for you. I just talked to him yesterday. That's even though I don't do drugs

He's still one of my best friends and then about a week later. You got to an argument with the bartender The Filipino bartender. Yeah, I was an asshole and I didn't know what happened. I Disappeared from the store. I'm still I'm hearing great things little by little Ari and you were doing a podcast. I'll never forget one night. Are we going have you gone down to see? Tripoli's dirty show And I go, you know He hasn't invited me and I don't want to crash like I hate when people do that like I didn't know you did this Sam Really, you didn't know I did this

And I go how was Sam he goes, you know, man And the way he said it to me He goes, it's great. He's great because he's an environment That's his thing. He's the king of madness. He wants to midget. He wants He wants to chicken the bikini, you know, and not you got a bunny suit the guy in the bunny suit He disappeared you cracked him. He was the first Owen Benjamin He quit comedy lost 80 pounds and wrote a book on how the fucking will survive in hollywood Have you seen him lately? I see skippy one. So he's a great kid. He's a great guy, dude

He was you know, he's just saw living that life, dude He's just one of those guys. What are you ready to book about? It was something about eating meat and then He would have like this patreon before there's patreon where women would pay for him to take pictures of his dick Do you have like a really good dick or something? He's got supposedly a fucking hog Like a big hog and women would pay for him to put in an exotic area Photoshop in different places dude. My dick doesn't have anyone on its patreon. Nobody Understand why Harvey Weinstein was the fearless leader of Hollywood This is the reason why because women pay comics for dick pics now, you know

Don't sit there and judge and say well Rick Gervais never raped anybody Keep believing that you know I'm saying give it time the LA Times will scoop it up any day now It's just weird what we've been through the last When did you show up at the comedy store 2000? Yeah, I moved out when I was just about to turn 26 or I was about 25 so I'd say that's about a little like I guess I lived like 99. I think every doubt there 99 Our connection was Pablo. We were friends through Pablo the best. We were right away. You know, I hosted on sundays. I took to you

We were dear friends. I loved you and Then the one night with the call out on stage. I'm like, what did I do? Am I gonna have to fight trip? I don't know I remember what I said and you know It was just one of those when you make a joke and it's like It doesn't come out the way you wanted it to and you're like, ah fuck that sounded way meaner I didn't mean it like that and uh You know, I you know, I had what happened was

I was saying that joke and it was working And one night I sat in the original room And when I got on stage a fucking Armenian came up to me furious and he's like You should not be saying that joke because Armenians, yes, we make mistakes People think we gangsters and when you say those things we gangsters and what people have to realize about Armenian is

What the Turkish did to us? Oh, we have to do what the and he gave me an ear beating about the Turks He bought me a drink. I was coked up So I took the ear beating, you know when you're coked up you just yes on the debt. Yeah the Turks I hate them too You know what I'm saying like it was just dude you gave me advice to get me picked up Like I you gave me You told me you love this one joke So dunking calls me and is like this is what you do

You need one joke about your ethnic group one joke about your parents and then do your favorite bit And I'm like, okay, Joey loves that fucking bit about Asians on ecstasy I'm gonna end on that bit So I did a bit about uh being Armenian going to the beach my mom power walking And then I ended up on uh, you know, uh ending about Asians loving ecstasy And paul mooney saved me and I told the store and I'm just waiting for it to come out uncertain I don't know if that showtime doc ever drops about and I say the m word in it But paul mooney called me the m word like only a week earlier

So then I was showcasing and he sat down And he uh was telling mitzi That you know, they should pick me up. So you and you and paul mooney are the reason I got picked up at the store Because you guys were telling me all that stuff I remember I I I I thought the joke was something along the lines of like If you made it through your act And you know, just like because you were bigger than than weak shots But I'm not you know, I I did that with dom bears too like

I said a dumb joke that I meant to be and it came off as Just really mean and you know, I super regretted it. No, I didn't care. It wasn't like I was in a fist fight I just didn't know where you were coming from We were dear friends following you as an education, dude You got to survive man. So it's like you say a little joke Just to get you into it now when I follow you, dude, I go first five minutes Nobody's listening because they just saw joey Diaz and I'm gonna be charlie brown's mom on stage I just have to sit in it and it's just be okay that five minutes. I gotta let the room reset

When did you go? From crazy sam to business sam Uh, when I go, you know, I've struggled with sobriety. I have sobriety now But I had five years and I've been I've been fighting with it But I always went to meetings and I just learned a lot like My father, I love my dad to death. I love him so much. He's a wonderful man He's a flawed character and uh, I started seeing my me start making the decision that started Acting like he was acting and I go, oh man, I'm gonna turn out like I'm gonna make the same mistakes

So I started changing my mind like I got raised to be very paranoid You know and I and then I was lashing out and I go, I don't want to be that that guy And then it just slowly takes time But I have that in me and I can flare up and and on top of that. I'm super sensitive I used to think I was dead on the inside, but I'm super wise comics and like And I have a fucking trigger dude and I like And then I'm like, oh, why'd I do that and I I grovel and I'm like, I gotta call my brother up

I blew up on him today and I feel awful about it But that's kind of the work in progress that I am right now, you know And then, you know, you just over it's like when you start living a life like you really want It's like you stop drowning and you just like, okay, this is okay. This is You know and you start to chill out and then you start realizing like everything that was important to you Doesn't really matter doesn't really matter doesn't really once you get that One comedy wind That all this shit doesn't matter

When your manager comes up to you and says listen do jokes about family So I could sell you to a sitcom and you're like, have you considered lighting yourself on fire? Have you ever considered that go fuck your mother? You know this we take rules Like listen, don't be dirty in front of this guy We actually followed them, which I never did If you told me not if you had the balls to come up to me And say don't be dirty Unless it was a weekend

And even then I tread on a fine line But you cannot tell a comic what to do. We did not become comics For you to tell me what to do. I knew The third year that I was never going to be on let him in a little I knew it How much of you when they tell you not to do something makes you want to do it more I can just see you doing that on purpose. I don't listen. I have not you have to look at a person's psyche We never look at a person's psyche You know, I meet sam triply. We go do a couple rogue gigs together in the car. We gotta talk about something

We talk about his fucking retarded brother My brother's not retarded. I love him very much. I'm being an idiot. I'm just saying that I was an asshole I'm talking to you about my mother dying. Yeah I'm talking to you and then we do three more gigs We spill our beans to each other And we make an assessment about each other. You know what? This is the third gig that joey has thrown me a bomb

He's not a bad guy. He's paying my rent Now we start looking at people. They're paying our rent They're doing me a fucking favor. So now when I go on an audition And they're looking for an Armenian Even if it's for my role I want if I don't get it. I want my brother to get it. Yeah, so I will call him These are the things you have to do to move forward as an individual in any career In any career

Sometimes you got to bite the bullet whenever I go for a mafia audition If I don't see certain people at that audition I call them And I go go down there. Yeah, but what am I going to tell them? Are you a fucking stupid? Yeah, you got get a black shirt on with a tie They're in business To find the right person That a casting director's job is to find the right person If you look at that breakdown and you think you're the right person

Get up and get down there We'll figure it out once we get down there The little gay assistant will come out and go I don't see your name on the list Oh my god, let me let me ask the casting director and he'll go in the back She'll come out take a look at you And say let him read And there must have been a mistake. Yeah There's no mistake the mistake was you let a gangsta in this motherfucker room

You let a gangsta in this motherfucker room. So for me Like when you look at and I'm not putting nobody down I don't want fucking short clips about this When you looked at sarah silverman when you when we got here, yeah, sarah silverman the guy who talks about bacon uh Jim gaffigan great guy, uh I can name five of them, but I can't right now because of the ebola virus That's what's in my brain

Plus i'm on antibiotics. I can name five people Who were predetermined To end up with something in this town The first time you see him. Oh, yeah, and you see the three jews in the room watching them Once they show up with three jews and they're watching them It's two jews to the management and that third jew. He's the one that tells the network what to do Okay, I've seen that with uh

The kid who died god rest his soul mitch headberg I saw it with I could probably tell you five comics who as soon as they hit la They were destined to be stars, you know, I knew what was gonna be taylor tolund said from the moment I saw her stand up I go And I used to call her the future every time I saw her do say I go That's the few and we're just now seeing it and I don't even think we're close to where we're gonna go Is it she like 25 dude she and she's And she's an assassin on stage dude. I watched her for her first time 19 years old

Was hosting for me and I thought she had to add to but she's just shy, right? Dude went up and did old black man crowd work like Old black man crowd work because she'd been doing church shows since she was like 12 So she was used to being front crowds and just lighten people up and everything I saw I saw was gonna happen I saw it was gonna happen man. Yeah, you see those in some you never know who's gonna blow up But you know who's gonna work for sure. You know who's gonna work. You don't know who's gonna blow up When sam triply got the show on spike I was like

Everybody I spoke to was happy for sam Because sam wasn't supposed to get that show that show was supposed to go to some goofy white dude Managed by a host company and and then you watch the show and you're like, why is this guy hosting the show? Yeah I'm with you, dude. You know and when you got that show I gotta be honest So many people were happy. Oh, thank you two So many people were inspired

Because you know what now we could attack other networks. It's not just cbs Sam is on spike getting thrown by a black guy By rampage, you know And when they cancelled it you were depressed for an hour. Yeah You knew that this was part of the game. You accepted it I stayed away from the store for seven years. I remember when I left the store. I liked you When I came back to the store I fell in love with the man you had become. Oh, dude, you're too nice. You had become a man of comedy now

You had become what was told to me 10 years ago that When you go back into this game You have to go back as an elder and you have to set an example for the younger guys. You have to act a certain way You had lead down there. You paid lead. You paid everybody You gave everybody stage time along the way as much as you could give people And for comics at home listening young comics For plumbers for electricians

For lawyers listen sometimes You got to take a bullet sometimes You got to do the wrong thing to get to the right place You know what this kid ain't ready for 10 minutes But who the fuck am I to decide? Let him go up there the same way Louis ck put me up for a guest set in seattle in 95. Okay It all comes to circle

And I got to be honest with you You were one of the guys that really had highlighted that You know, there was these guys working at the comedy store. I didn't even have comedy experience And they're trying to nickel and dime you and meanwhile they're living in a two bedroom fucking apartment up in the hills All for your sweat. Yeah, you didn't do that. Yeah, you said I'm giving everybody an envelope I'm coming down here with edibles. I got a masseuse in the back I got fucking food. There was joe's pizza

It was just a fucking experience And that's why people hate comics who open up clubs Because they forget of what was important in that green room. It's not the big things I don't want you to plan a helicopter ride around utah. I don't need that It's when I go to my fucking hotel room. There's a cheese platter. It's when I go to the green room There's the sandwich I like they call the head Little things. I got you that pizza just little things, you know, bill blooming rights. You go to boston

he shows up with a pie in between shows from Regina Regina's pizza the best in boston You know, there's little things that people could do to make your day When I did those shows for you You made me feel I never complained one time about where my spot was I went down there It was an experience you paid me. I went into the original room and I would go home

Sometimes you did thursdays Sometimes you What's the kid that ran sunday nights? Mark saratella. Yeah, he was very good to me. Yeah, I think of those guys they go. Thank god that You know, when you and I started at the store, dude, you and I both know that there was no main room It was tuesday friday and saturday And we weren't allowed in on tuesday if you get what i'm saying. Yeah, i'm saying it was pure african american night

Great night Hosted by joe tori Just tremendous. You'd see everybody down there. Denzel The fucking the director It was great, but the main room when we first got there Was not really a thing It wasn't dude and it was like more of a side party room Coke bad decisions just hanging out dude and you know, I miss those days, but I

It was like insane when I used to think about all these dudes I came up with man and how you guys all did my show and we could all make money, man We could leave with a grip of loot and Go home. We didn't have to fly anywhere to do it. We got to get in You know, and I would always like I go man, trust me. I know where to put you in the lineup People be like, oh, I'm like, no, dude And if like like let's say you went up and you always did you flying through the room I'd have to go in and calm people down. So the next person will come, you know, that's why I enjoyed dude

I enjoyed putting on a show that we say, oh you're emcee. I'm like, no master ceremonies, dude It's a totally different thing. Are you a phenomenon? That's what I love. You were phenomenal and people It's so weird how every comic wants to get out of the emcee phase I'm sick of emceeing. Well, it's the strongest position on the field. Yeah, dude. It's the strongest Position on the field If you can emcee You're never gonna be tom brady. Yeah You're never gonna be tom brady if you can close and host now

Now you're something dude when you could close and host. Yeah, and if you go out there and host And put up killers like you did and then go out in the back and do another five Yeah, because you I listened to you one night. I think I was up last and I didn't want to go into the crowd And I'm like, listen to how triply sending them home He's sending them home complete and there's a line outside to get in at 10 30 next show the next show Had to get that show in at a certain time or else it'd be too tired, man It's like And I gotta tell you this last time like I stayed away from the store for seven years

I think I went back in 2013. Yeah And at first it was a lot of fun, you know It was a lot of fun. It took me right back, but I knew I went back an elder I didn't go back as young joey d is Getting his dick sucked in closets and fucking I went back as a fucking. Yeah. That was a good time 97 through 2000 the comedy store was what it was What the fuck do you want me to tell you and I don't know why people and they see that is like this awful thing

It was a magical. It was it was more of a private club at that time Like l magical described as that he goes. It's a private club and like if you were blessed to get in you were in and comedy was great, but it was also about just experiencing just Be being an entertainer dude to what we thought entertainment was and we got a little lost in it

And sometimes a partying was a little bit harder than the comedy, but Man, I wouldn't it was so necessary from that time because every a lot of people That were there during the dead time Were the guys who got a lot of reps in because none of the cool kids wanted to go down there They would stay away like ah, fuck that place. It's negative energy negative energy So all these cool all these guys got reps in wraps wraps You know and then I worked on getting I go, okay, man. We got to build this lineup So I got a lineup of killers and I I knew the the the way to get people in

You know and the big thing was to sit next to mitzi and play defense Yeah, so she could see these guys kill I'd sit down go take it easy breathe do this this this and let me play defense And like, you know, I didn't so much that it actually Fucked me and then put me at the end of the night, but that also made me stronger so But it was like all those guys who were there when there was only a couple people in that OR all went on to become national theater murderers

Do you think if comedy comes back? With the story do you think that's going to happen again with since a lot of people are leaving There's going to be a lot of room at all these clubs for people who stay Well, I think this is going to be a rare time because when I got picked up It was a rare time store because she just gutted the lineup And she got and you know at my age now I feel for those comics because they're like, yeah, you can't go up anymore and it's like but this is my home It's like welcome to business. So I then I was like so thankful now

I would I feel for everybody that that happened to because that comedy is a cold bitch, man And uh, it could be really hard so but you know ma Sebastian bret earns caparillo and then ari and all those guys came in and they People are getting reps steve burr and bryan callan El magical people are getting a lot of reps in man in that room a lot of reps in there You are getting a lot of reps in there. I was getting six. I would call sunday through sunday

So I found out she used to tell me I don't like when people pick certain nights. Boom Once I heard her say that okay sunday through sunday Even if I didn't want to do comedy. I went down there Even if you weren't in the mood you had to get in the mood, you know Because it was $15 and that was the biggest check you were going to get that fucking week And if you did four of those you got $60, you know the main room on a satellite to 50 to 80 195, you know, all that I was saying dude. It was all that shit

man And I couldn't get on the road. So I was just sitting at the store because You know edgy comedy hadn't really made its way in every and I have no problems But everybody was looking for a lot of sign felt so unless somebody like dice or joe took you on the road It was hard to get up So I would just sit at the store and just be a crazy man, you know just being crazy dude And just getting in reps man following like The store is special because there's no host in my opinion. I mean the room's special, but no host

So like dude, I could tell you I could tell you in my 20 some years Three bombs stand out in my head that I will never forget One is lisa lampinelli One is joey deez I bomb so bad. I sat in my car and I questioned is this what I want to do with my life I just bomb so bad And then the other one was rom white. Those are the three worst bombs I've ever had my life in that room and it's just like

I and I just like okay god get up again and do it again And I I always want to follow those I couldn't follow like who who can I follow who's hard to follow? Give me that guy. Give me that guy. Give me that guy. That's the only way you get better crack that code, dude I had to follow paul mooney Six seven months and sit there because I didn't know when he was coming off Remember those days he just showed up at 11 30 and you were like, well, I'm done I got two options. I could lose Go home like a pussy or I could watch watch him learn something and hopefully get 15 dollars

He'd walk off the stage after the audience would leave. Yep. I had four people to contend with if you don't think I learned from those sets I watched paul mooney, dude Crush in front of two people. There was like there's time where they're thinking about the comedy store and how crazy it was Up until this moment There were times where two people in the audience and we begged them to run the show so they're like run the show So we get our 15 dollars Because they they couldn't start the show unless there was four people You needed four people to start the fucking show

They got two and I watched paul mooney sit down light on him and crush for 45 And I go, I'm never going to complain about how many people in the crowd I'm just gonna go for it. Whether it's a packed house or a half of room. I'm on a fucking throw They they had like in new york they talk about barking, but the sunset strip There's some people walking, but it's mostly driving In that time when you guys go out and try to get people to come into the show or not you just wait. Nope Never bark, dude, never the only thing I ever did was I used to mitzi used to give me a hundred tickets

And you wrote your name behind them And for every ticket that came in with that you get two dollars. Oh snap So I would wait till saturday night at 7 45 and go down there and just give it to the people online And they would say how the fuck are you making 300 a week? It's easy And then, you know, hey, listen, you know, you you talk about work, you know as a comic And that's why I don't know who was in here and we're talking about the work ethic You know somebody wrote on the page Uh, you know the podcast is done and somebody wrote look

I don't know if you really know joey and his ethic Joey is far from done like The work ethic that we had we developed from comedy You know, I still remember being so broke That I had money for a bowl of chili A bacon double cheeseburger for 98 cents from wendy's and the salad And then I would get somebody to drop me off at universal city During the week of the 26 and the 31st when they were all in town for the bowl games

And I would just give out tickets I would go up there with 500 tickets. I wouldn't stop till I gave them all out and I knew Out of those 20 would go Yeah, and if I pulled and I had a thousand of those tickets in my glove compartment If I pulled up and I saw a line of people outside You bet your ass. I would throw chewy off. I go chewy I'm gonna get a gram. Give me five minutes and they go, all right, bro And I walk around just give out cards

And they finally caught me after about a year like how the fuck are you making 400 a week? Fuckings giving away tickets a dude, but I never barked I could never bark, but they didn't hate you if you hustled, you know, and if if mitzi loved you She would uh tolerate your mess ups one time. I got so drunk on stage during new year I walked like literally 320 people And she banned me for a weekend What did you say? I remember that I just was so drunk, dude I was so drunk and I walked him

and It's just, you know, I just was I used to dance with my demons and you know You know for me for me, dude I I I learned very early. I was not one of the cool kids When I when I bombed in Montreal because they put me up there Corey Holcomb Who at that time seemed like a 20 year comic and that was 20 years ago

You know, he was a killer. He's killing now. He's killing a funny guy, dude Just a murderer and I was brand new. I was a I was a street kid, dude. I really had done any real club comedy I was a vegas comic who was just gigging in like bar So bar comedy and theater comedy two different kind of comedies, dude And I bombed and uh right there. I really like was just Out with the industry and then such a thankful thing now I look back on it because I just really leaned into my work ethic

Which was hustle hustle hustle hustle hustle, you know, and uh, I just and then, you know, Dana who I was with forever Um, we just developed a way to to sell the marquee We came up with a way Comedy store just want people to go. Hey, can we sell the marquee? We'll put our names on the marquee And we'll cut you off a piece kind so they're like fuck. Yeah, do it So we'd sell the marquee so we tell people you drive down the street You'd see your name on the comedy store marquee boom. We're making money. So we just learned to hustle and that's kind of

You know, I'm just blessed that I had a work ethic that was able to Take advantage of the opportunities of the internet that showed up that if I'd been maybe 20 years earlier Who knows if this would have ever happened. It's just a real blessing It's crazy that Dana helped and I tell people That the answer sometimes is right in front of your eyes My career did not change till I involved Terry in my life. Yeah

For years, I would just not talk to her about it wasn't her business I think finally like in 2004 she would go. So where you going for how much? And she would go now call him back And tell him you want this much and if he doesn't give it to you I'd rather have you at home for Dana when Dana I you know, I didn't have a real manager forever By get opportunities and you know as an artist you just want to take the opportunities Which is hilarious because I used to have adult film stars. So the naughty show came from I did the vivid video tour with these

One two guys and I would just crush him from the crowd and I always go You know the key to everything is finding your crowd, right? So I'm like, this is my crowd, right? So they stopped doing it. But then I started seeing other people pop up. I'm like, I should do this So I started doing that and the big reason I did the naughty show is because I got tired of going places and being told I had to be a clean comic I wanted a room where I could do Stand up the way I like to do stand up you being Was it being told to you a lot? Oh, yeah

What club on is do you remember? Hey, man, all the time. Could you work clean dude? This is the seven o'clock show. I'm like, this is who I am And you know, I made a mistake of uh, uh, you know Thinking that because that was a commisore comic I also had a following on the road. So I just wasn't selling tickets So the combination of me being a crazy person and not selling any tickets at that time Made it really hard to get on the road Even though I thought I was doing great. I didn't really know the numbers and

It is what it is. So So I would have to do something. So I'd be like, you know We do something called sending to jew And Dana would go in there and like because as an artist you just want to take the deal They're like, hey, dude, you do the weekend. We give you a ham sandwich every night. You're like, oh, please And then you're like, I wish I didn't take that deal, but I need to work I send in Dana. She'd be like You know, nah

And they flip real quick because they realize they they're talking to someone. He went desperate and she would help broker deals And I was blessed it was I would I was a shark dude I had to keep swimming had that you could only you know eat what you kill It's crazy how You learn to start saying no like there's so many aspects Like I had all these plans to write a book and I outlined it And then it went down the drain

They they they found out about the rogan thing and then they were called back And in the way I was happy because it really wasn't the book I wanted to write Now I want to write about What happened the last 30 years I would love to read that what happened the last 30 years Is more relevant with touching back to where I was sleeping in a rocket ship Just the last 30 years

This last three weeks knowing that I had to leave here Has really inspired me to look back at my 23 years at the store and It also made me realize that I was made For the store from day one People were asking me has mitzi seen you yet Since I first got on stage people were asking me is mitzi seen you

So that's the one part of it The other part of it was what I was talking to somebody about the other day I think we were codependent on the store. I think what's going on with a lot of comics right now Isn't it the epidemic or The money it's the withdrawals From what the store was I think it took me for about a week I went down there two weeks ago. I said my goodbyes. I took some pictures

And I knew I would never be there again the next time I come here. I'll be an apartment building or something I hope not I hope not But it all depends on how long the pandemic lasts But my biggest Thing in comedy was that when I got here I was already long in the tooth I was 32 maybe I was 34 so I was already considered old at that time people like if you're not 24 leave

Fuck you Tim Allen's a hundred His partner with the glasses the goofy fat fuck and the price is right. He's a hundred They're all fucking a whoopee Goldberg's a thousand Joan rivers bro And you're telling me that you're a 34 year old comic it's not gonna fucking work go fuck yourself and

you know that yeah doing theaters with joe and you know opening for mooney on the road and Paul Rodriguez all that was exciting, but i'm gonna tell you what the most exciting Thing to me was so far Was watching the growth of the comics around me I watched you become a man I

Watched Dean del Rey become a comic I saw the agestino go from a fucking push over at the aha To taking control of his life. I love that married you see the growth When I see growth It makes my dick hard especially in comedy, you know little ester You know little ester is little ester

But little ester had a big Design killing it to get it, you know That's what inspires an old guy like me now. I love when the youngsters call me and go hey They often me this what do you think and I tell them stick to this do this do this and they actually do I love doing that dude because we've been through it like we we've Seen it all it's like leaves like you got like a crystal ball. No Because I see it. You don't have to tell me nothing I know exactly where you are at one point of your career and what you're thinking

I know what I was thinking that a year and a half And it wasn't outlandish. I wasn't thinking of no grandma. I wasn't thinking of hollywood parties I just wanted to get good I wanted to play walnut creek the punchline I wanted to do seattle the underground I wanted to do the houston lap stop and this was just from a paper that was called just the laps So I knew I wanted to do it right now today If you call me and tell me let's go do stand up. I gotta tell you go fuck yourself

I guess I'm just not in the mood. I cancel utah Not because I'm moving I would have stayed next to a week and flown out of utah It's because I can't charge people in utah 25 bucks For somebody who hasn't gone on stage in five fucking months. I got you. It's just not gonna work. I need three months of Working it out 20 people 30 people in the audience One idiot can I take a picture go fuck yourself?

You know Can I shake your hand not after you wipe your mother's ass go get the foot take a hike Use hand centered you come to my shows you want to take a picture you better have complete cavlar And your mouth covered so there's no more smile. So what do you want to take a picture for two guys trying to be doctors? Two fake fucking doctors. How good to get look at us With you know, I've watched you grow dude I mean you've always leaned into this dude like who you are and like You know, it's like I tell people it's like man in this day

Of like the internet it is not About trying to make these Fucking gatekeepers happy anymore. It is peer-to-peer and what they want is the you whoever you are and that is not Get edgy or get dirty that is whoever you are Crank that to a thousand and I watched you Lean into it to become probably one of the fucking Just one of the most devastating forces on stage man. You really are what? If everybody goes I wonder what kennison was like

I feel like what you were doing and what you'll get back to it but you know what on that nice runway at the store like You just brought something so different than everybody else and it was just I go wow man, this guy's really leaned into himself and really Really found it man. And it's like it was fun to watch you Ari Callen You know Ren is easy

Like, okay, you know, I know caparillo got weird. I I I loved watching caparillo early how much I love john Yeah, I love it. Just you know, we yeah, it sucks that we don't see him anymore And he's probably angry and I if I saw my I jump on the sword if I saw him I put my hand down and say i'm sorry about what had happened. Yeah, dude It's like if you don't want to apologize for what you did You're gonna live with that forever. Yeah, I would just say listen I was busting tommy's balls about to line up and I was young and I was stupid and I let my ego get in the way

We're sensitive people, you know, I if I'm lying to you make god strike me dead I was thinking about the other day And how he's making a living. He had a wife. He has a kid Vegas ain't gonna reopen soon. He had a residency in Vegas. I mean, but that's still amazing They have a residency in Vegas. Yeah, the residency in Vegas, which Nobody knows what is gonna come back you know I was on the phone with I think it was my brother today and I go, you know, I've always been very thoughtful of people

You know, I've always been very well, if you If I give lee and his girlfriend Two tickets for the lake of games It's gonna cost me $600, you know I would do that but then on the other hand, it's like Six on allows a lot of fucking money for a lot of money, especially when I paid 15 this is Julia serving

You know It's it's You provided something on Tuesday nights. You gave them a spectrum of comedy For 25 30 dollars, which they would have paid 20 bucks. They would have paid 80 bucks. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, and I thought that I really appreciate when somebody gives you A Dollar's worth for what you pay a dollar for. You know, I got a pantry on now. I tried to dollar That means don't expect a lot, but I'm still gonna give you a lot because of my work, I think

Today somebody goes I really don't like this patreon. Shit. I'm just supporting you because of the podcast. I said then go I don't want your fucking dollar. Why would you give me a dollar to be here? Tell me you don't want to be here. It's so interesting. It's it's It's we're living in just a weird world but Those last two years at the comedy store I We had this conversation that we all became very codependent of the store

I remember stanhope mentioning it once that you guys can't live without that fucking store You know and and it was true It's so weird though. Just think about that and not this set. You got to remember this time. We went in there as g's Think of the first time we were the undergrads And we would get beat up on we had a follow fucking eddie griffin I had to follow dice every dice every fucking night for a year When you were the understudy in there, it wasn't fun being an understudy For us to last the understudy years

For me the understudy years were 97 to about 2005 And then I started slowing down down there. I could tell the tide was changing Something wasn't right. You know my spots were getting later then rogan fought for me And he goes put him on a 1045 and put me on an 11 and now comics started to hate me You know, but it was after my neck surgery and they found that fat ball in my neck And they showed me the fat ball. I go. That's the fucking comedy store evil

That's when people that's when you walk down the stairs people like good set And as you keep walking there like he's on below You know what I'm saying like nobody can have a time to nobody could ever give you your props like 50 percent of the people Really gave you props. I was the type of motherfucker. I don't come up to you and tell you I like that joke Unless I really like it Like if i'm sitting there and I go wow, I wish I would have thought of that I'm gonna tell you after you come on stage Yeah, man

And your lowest moment because that joke worked But maybe the rest of you said didn't work or something Or there's maybe a joke that didn't work that you didn't word it right I would never come up to you as a comic and tell you how to word it Yeah, but I tell you I like that bit. There's something there motherfucker. Hear that with me and they would say you're right There is something there. You're right. You know, so it all It worked itself out. But Sam this podcast Was basically uh for three things to tell you goodbye

uh To wish you Oh The best that you got coming to you because uh, you didn't try to go through the back door and 60 percent of these fucking idiots go through the back door Uh, I'm a burglar by nature. I was born to go through the black door And guess what I went through the front door. Yeah, uh, you were banned for three days

I'm a criminal sick fuck That took my balls out behind julie ken shiati on stage And I never got banned. She even told me missy. Don't take your balls out no more I miss that. That's the first time I hear my voice. Is that gonna be all right? Yeah, okay I hope you don't call me tomorrow and say we gotta get bring Sam back because I'll hurt you with this I'll bury in the wall like the episode of miami vice. I love you, dude. I love you I love me and I'm and Sam. I know you love me I know you love me and that's why I gave you the little gift the cbd lion to help us out. I love you, dude

And I just loved what you did at the store On tuesday nights You brought it back to what comedy Should be when a host tells you to be here at 8 30 I don't have to tell you to have a pizza I don't even care if it's a fucking What's the pizza you eat from the fucking oven that you make jesus di giorno di giorno I don't have ones in eight years. I don't care if your wife makes eight di giorno's

She made something How many times have you gone to the store to do a show? I love it and somebody gives you uh Damn cookies. You used to bring donuts And I get pissed off at you mother fuck Because I didn't want to eat the donuts because I didn't know I was going to joe's pizza So it was either a donut. I would follow you at joe's pizza because the guy would always be showing me pictures I ran into you joes. Yeah, yeah, dude. That's good pizza, man On a tuesday night chicken after two donuts weed

And I even gave away liquor at one time because I wanted everybody to know that they were loved You gave me weed edibles pizza Donuts and what were the donuts from the don'ts for it. We're from all fucking dream donut truck They were delicious and I could be wrong. Where aren't these edibles that we love from that show to abx abx Yeah, abx was the one they were coming weed for everybody. I got people. I still talk to them online I just sent them some other good people dude. Justin is a great guy, you know

I'm not leaving LA gonna be one of those people LA sock like LA did not suck. It was great LA did not suck He just changed LA changed right now. And uh, I have a wife if it was just me and my wife Dog I downsize to this fucking studio I'd build a petition one of those covid petitions And I'd make her take a shower outside in the bucket and me too And we just cut our course down and wait this out and see what the fuck happens, you know But with my daughter in the mix Not going to school

No social activities, you know, we were talking about ice skating. What happened ice skating We were taking ice skating every saturday with a best friend From nine to ten no more ice skating I mean now they're saying that corona is going up amongst kids Right before the fucking school year to really, you know, if I move across the country and there's no school You expect to see a fucking Brody too Don't say that Brody to miss Brody to Brody to and I'll do it on FaceTime Like a fucking like a covid patient. I'll put you on the same thing

Put the respirator on I'm leaving you guys But I got a surprise and also the rope comes Or like a fucking thing. What do you call those? The gallows like uh, no the gallows. No the other one the The fucking thing that the fucking jabs used to use where the head gets cut off. Oh, yeah Guilty how good would that be just to go guys? This is gonna be a fantastic live stream Nothing like you've ever seen all of a sudden you go

The chinese guy walks in with one of those things and you're like i'm gonna show you some And you just cut your head off On live stream People would not know What the fuck to do? Yeah, there are times I wish I still snorted coke triply Because I would start a network That every night I would do a gram from a different location. No face. No nothing

Just show the baggy go under cut the coke up and go Oh Guess where I am and then the camera goes dead I would do that three times four times a week the fuck I'd have people at home waiting All night long because then I'd start doing it at two And at four and at six And I put the camera on and finger a girl and listen to them moaning

And show them the coke rocks, but nothing nobody sees nothing Except the mirror with two lines on it at all times and I would get express bpn And somebody could find me you know what i'm saying like that would be so much fucking fun Like that's the only thing I miss about drugs that I would have added drugs to this mix To really fuck with people did you see josh wolf does like shrooms and 70 000 people watch him live Dude think about that Dude listen, man. I love your dog. We did acid church and mushrooms me eddie

arie and lee did a hit of acid And sat here and we watched fucking arie Take his shirt off and lay down on the floor You know that four weeks later he went to australia He checks into the hotel And he says that some girls like hi welcome to australia some guy goes I got this And he Took care of arie. I upgraded you mr. Jaffer

And he goes in fact i'm gonna carry your luggage arie's like what the fuck is going on with this guy This guy wants to fuck me next thing you know the guy Opens the door for arie and he goes hey, I really enjoyed the acid church lad So what are your plans leave me with what your plans are gonna be for right brother I just have two daughters by the lovely martha mckellon. I'm blessed to have uh ghosts and ninjas kids I love my kids very much. So i'm chilling You know i'm doing uh patreons and just You know spinning plates to keep the money coming in. I love my kids

I've actually kind of blessed that you know even though this thing is just maddening and You know back you've been great I've called you a few times And I got to tell you you've made me laugh There's some people that uh are still mortovan But you have been great and uh I think the rapping amongst us has really helped us. Yes Talking every week you got a rap you got a rap

And you can't be that scared that you can't do a face-to-face from time to time. We'll wear a mask We'll wear a mask if you're at home right now And you're struggling with isolation you're putting it upon yourself. Okay. First of all the boogie man is not out there There's no boogie man out there. I want you to know that I want you to know that if you see 12 people Yes, I suggest you to cross the street If you see a food truck and you're in the urge For some fucking shit piece of food that that food truck sells That's basically a piece of shit with dirty hands

Where do they go to the bathroom in the bucket in the back? There's no bathroom on those food trucks and you ever notice that So they piss me So Listen to me You see that you walk away. You live your life cautiously, but no fear. There should be no fear I'm a little scared of walking into A comedy club that has 300 people That's putting people in danger

You know you're charles manson jr Did you see they finally closed the Comedy store lawyer and the american comedy club today and I said it shut them all down Why are we doing this? You know what comics you're all fucking home put up content online. Dude. That's why be creative Don't go up there with a microphone and try to do comedy for yourself. It's not gonna work. Be creative So online do jumping jackson online People will pay for you peer-to-peer to see you do jumping jackson online

But do anything except stand up read poetry online once a day my girl christy belich reads fucking fortune cards online at 10 o'clock Does it pay? No, but nobody's becoming a millionaire right now But it will not now But five years from now when people remember yeah that one night they were having a bad night They were switching to the tv. It was the same shit on tv rambo five Lord order I could have escaped fucking tank

The same the office the same stupid shit and you go on a computer to seek relief And there's gonna be one of us. It could be any one of us. It could be kori hokum It could be fucking sam triply. It could be lee jumping up and down Yeah, it could be anyone and for some reason you will find comfort in that you will not know why You are finding comfort on this fat guy talking about fucking robbing a jewelry store But something is soothing about that You know you have help You know, I don't want you to call suicide hotline now. They got your number in your email for the rest of your life

They're gonna call you till you do kill yourself. That's the suicide hotline does they they like the Scientologists They take your information then they use it against you Did you bring for your boyfriend yet kill yourself? Did you know they're like the same time? They reprogram you there's no suicide hotline in the church's world or in our world What I want you to do is wrap with people help somebody dude. Get out of your head get out of your house Number step number one get out of that fucking bedroom the boogie man ain't out there Put a mask on if you need to put gloves on put the gloves on I don't give a fuck what works for you Go out there pick one friend

One friend and talk with him. Yeah And then pick the second friend and you walk with him the next day and every day you have a walking partner You have two points of view You're talking a two or three or four different points of view. I don't want your circle to be with the same episode of friends The same episode of friends Yeah, the same episode of friends, bitch. This is Fucking you and two two dudes tops, you know, and you just wrap and talk to each other tell each other What's on your mind what your fears are? What do you think is gonna happen? What's not gonna happen, you know

And and this will all be better than the second form of therapy is the notebook When you guys drinking and smoking pot, you know, I mean, I mean days I wake up and I answer Emails of people who have smoked by and I freaked out and they've written me a bunch of shit the next day They hit me back and go. I'm really sorry that reefer really affected me during the The pandemic before we go What's the next big fucking scandal? Oh, dude, uh I I think

It's all about this election, dude So be safe Listen, I want to say something to everybody. I love joey Diaz. I love lisa. Yeah Listen to go back and listen to the old church of what's happening now Turn off the news Get off social media. It's going to depress you Get out help dude. I'm telling you if you do this right now If you help three people a day just a random person just help whatever it is hold the door

Your life will change your life can be completely different in 365 days Turn off the news. It's meant to depress you. Yes, the world's crazy Guess what when you open the door and you walk outside, it's a beautiful world. Get out of your own way, man There's chaos out there But most of it's just there to get you fucking angry and sad and these things feed off your bad energy, dude You know how they say don't go to bed angry. That's what they're talking about Find happiness find a hobby learn to make a dollar off the internet. It's the new main street. You could fucking do it I do it. I started doing a lot of shows because I know people at home need entertainment

They're tired of hearing about boom boom boom beating them down The world's a wonderful place Find beauty in it, dude, and that's where I'm at, man. That's why I'm at times Find beauty. You know what I want to get out of here Because Just I didn't see the creativity here no more Once they started making Marvel fucking movies and it's not the same fucking shows

How beauty is it though, dude? I don't think the creativity is here anymore It's just not you know, we live in a place that has Hollywood sign On it, right? Yeah, you saw the Hollywood sign Lee and you've seen the Hollywood sign up They only shoot 30 percent of stuff here Everything else is outsourced from Korea to Atlanta to Kentucky. Why? Because we don't get a tax break here It cost you too much to shoot in the state where shooting Is supposed to happen the most this is Hollywood

Yeah, you got a show about new york you do new york's theories But you should they've always shot here And we don't have that here no more How dumb is that? I want you guys at home to listen to what my words are We live in Hollywood And they only shoot 30 percent of the stuff here. Yeah, Netflix has a studio in korea Netflix has studios in louisiana new mexico

Because they give fucking tax breaks because I can make a movie In peace how fucking sad is that that I can't make a film in hollywood because it'll cost me Two extra million fucking dollars That I could save if I do the same movie in indiana So california somewhere along the line when you think of that statement That right there lets you know the state of mind here Well, what sam said is exactly right that the internet's the new main street It is the new base. I went to a u-haul place today

In the time I was there. I probably there were like six or seven groups I went to a salvation arm going to drop stuff off. I look like it in and out People are leaving LA because they don't have to be here anymore Hey, I had a great time. I was here for almost a decade, but it's a business trip. No one really moves here For the beaches. I don't ever I did I didn't go to the night club. I hardly went to the beaches We didn't do nothing store. We didn't celebrate christmas with our families We didn't celebrate normal thanksgivings because god forbid you got a spot at the store. I'm not crying guys I made the sacrifices

Now it's time to unmate those sacrifices I moved the next chapter of my life nothing wrong with that, dude Nothing wrong with that sam trippley. I want to thank you for the 20 years of friendship Dude, I hope you don't lose my number. I hope you don't hope you don't change it I won't change it. I hope you don't lose my number and I hope that Once this opens up when you come to play the stress factory. Yeah, dude bananas or whatever Go get some dinner together swing by and give you a big hug and uh, you gotta go play my club out there Where's your club? It's called the dojo comedy. It's in morris. It's in uh, morris plains, new jersey

It's ran by my boy mic roman ellie. Okay, and uh It's a nice little small room right now for they're doing outside 40 cedars when it happens and It's not gonna be far from you. We'd love to have you come down and sling that comedy dick and lee If you're ever out there, you're always welcome brother. Thank you, buddy Joey, you're a good friend, dude. You're a good guy You know, I was a crazy person back in the day, but I'm really gonna miss you I know you're not dying. We're not dying, but no, just everybody's going Super

Yeah, super sad, dude. I'm gonna miss everybody yet Hopefully we'll all be able to come back and I'm gonna celebrate how hard we worked and how far we came and Who knows it will ever happen again, but I'm gonna miss everybody All you guys it's gonna happen again. We're all gonna see each other and laugh about this man. I hope so I love you all my heart same trip. I want your family to be the best Go sit in jail. What two years they will meet you. You'll be in theaters, my brother. This is uh These are the last few episodes of the church or what's happening now and uh

A lot of people are going through this right now. I'm going through it We're leaving, you know, and we're leaving on top. We're not leaving getting chased out of town Haha, beauty. I mean, I'm not Joe Rogan. I'm not called her daddy, but We're up there and we've been doing this for eight years consistently. So uh And now for a word from our sponsors. I want to thank my man fucking sam triply Fucking poor guy was crying. He made me feel bad I'm so sad myself. I'm sorry. Anyway, I want to thank you guys for listening. I want to thank sam I watched the kid become a fucking man. It's the truth. He's uh

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These last two weeks going to be the saddest two weeks of my life because I know we've made a connection in a lot of different ways. So Thank you very much for listening and Thank you for having our backs this whole time. All right We'll be back wednesday I love you mother fuckers. Thank you sam. Thank you christ killer But most importantly, thank you guys for all the support and the love stay black Have a great week. Take this mule

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