Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - #816 - Felicia Michaels

Episode Date: August 26, 2020

Felicia Michaels, comedian and co-host of "The Liars Club" podcast, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt LIVE in studio. This podcast is brought to you by:   Stamps.com -  Use code JOEY for a 4 week trial which includes postage and a digital scale. Go to Stamps.com, click on the Radio Microphone at the top of the homepage and type in church.                                                       Onnit.com. Use Promo code CHURCH for a 10% discount at checkout on your first order.  

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We're down to two more motherfucking podcast. We got Felicia Michaels in studio the very beautiful Felicia Michael Thank you, mr. Diaz. What's happening? Oh, you know, just doing my thing my pandemic thing It's been rough. It's been crazy. Yeah, cuz my kids have been there I have a 19 as you know in a 21 year old and so yeah, that's been I Can I Trust me, I know oh My god, and at the beginning of it. It was rough making them understand what the fuck is going on and I Kicked my son in the balls. Oh, I did why what did you I?

Always told you Ten years ago. I was telling you that one day you gonna have a when you have a boy when you have a son and The dad's not around usually they get to an age one day because we do it to our dads Why I won't only do it to our moms, right? We step into our dad's one day We actually think we could beat our dad's out Until they just punch you in the neck So if boys do that to men

fathers one day they kind of get snippy with their moms Oh, yeah, and you have no time. There's not yeah, if you play that white psychology shit. Yeah, they're gonna kill you Yeah, they're gonna sure for sure. So you have to do what Joey? Yeah, you know what it was fucking freeing You kick somebody in the nuts. Oh, yeah, that's been bothering you during the pandemic. Yeah You could pay a shrink ten times you don't get the satisfaction Yeah, I just kicking somebody really hard in the nuts. It's driving you crazy during the pandemic Because and that's what the thing has been like. Oh, I've really been worried. I I've enjoyed doing the podcast because I Know that there's a lot of people right now that never had mental health issues

But this this type of living this type of news gathering the way it's being thrown at you It'll bring fucking, you know, the mind of whatever down I don't care who the fuck you are and that's why I like to take an hour just to come here Bullshit loosen people up a little bit, you know, right when I get anxiety now It's when I answer messages for people. Yeah, my anxiety goes away at night I get that nine o'clock anxiety I get on the computer, right? And you get on patreon facebook and you just start answering people's messages 100% because at the beginning of the pandemic

Like I went with them for such a long period of time where we weren't around anyone and it got like You know, like every like once a month four weeks in it's a big kibuy because you're just sitting there uh, you know With busy little hands and nothing to do, you know You know and the exercise is a big part of it. Yes, like that I woke up on the wrong side of the bed I went to the gym And while I was at the gym it came back to me like I was fresh again. I took like a falling off the bike Gave me a little bit of a beating yesterday. It was just a rough

Yeah, a rough day. How did it happen? I woke up in the middle of the night You know, we had those tanks who were loading for the pods And we had one loaded and you know, uh, they're talking about stealing people robbing a lot of shit So I woke up at four and I fucking Went for the piece and I ran outside like a lunatic Because I just thought I heard something I didn't hear shit That I couldn't fall asleep again

You know, you see a lot of weird shit at night. I take a ride every night Last night was the weirdest last night. I fucking took a ride At about 9 30 at night and right down the corner. There was a cat in the middle of the street I'm like this somebody hit this motherfucker. He was alive his disco. He just wanted to play in the middle of the street So I had to get out of the car and walk up to him. He's sick. The cat is sick. I could tell he's sick He's on his last legs. He was kind of disoriented So I pushed him to the sidewalk like I would get close to him and he'd move up And thank god I went in the car. I knew I had a can of something whether it was cat food

And I had a little can of cat food and I opened it for it Then I went home last night and I kind of felt guilty So I got back in the car Like after I spoke to you one of those times and I thought I'd call you back Right. That's why I did I came back to check on him The can was still there, but he was gone To eat he ate a little bit, but I saw some shit I saw a lot of people in SUVs like what are those escalates?

A lot of escalates playing loud music Like bass heavy bass I saw like three or four in this neighborhood and that's not good To set this type of neighborhood this neighborhood has really changed at night It's really really changed like I went to Hollywood yesterday and I at like eight o'clock at night I was driving off through east Hollywood And uh, there are people's houses on the curb, you know what I mean? And it's been slowly getting worse But it looks like you know, it's people are getting evicted people are choosing to leave people are

cutting bait and running That's fucking sick of what's happening When you see the grass coming out of the street Like the concrete like the driveway Like grass is starting to grow on that driveway I go back to when that place was Acapulco I used to remember it was It was Acapulco or you could eat for lunch tremendous

Chines enchiladas like a mother fucker They had one there and then they also had one Acapulco was by the sycamore And then they also had one if you stayed on the sunset you pass a Scientology And you make it right like you go to Silver Lake right there where Pinchett tacos is that taco place where white people go, you know what you're talking about that on they oh my god They put pickles in their tacos and shit

Yeah that place it's next to that Acapulco And that used to be empty so fat dudes would go up there and tear it up me Ralphie Key tree ball We were in Acapulco every fucking day. Was it good though? Yes. Oh nice. It was good enough Yeah, I was gonna say It was a lot better than the real stone It was a lot better than uh Like the the steak place. There was a steak place on the brand

for fucking You mean sizzler? Yes. Okay. Oh my god. I I used to eat there all the time Every time you got like a 40 dollar check that like that was like a celebration Speaking of that because I know we all live in the valley or you used to have you been up my street up to like Where the gold gym used to be in this sizzler. Yes. Gold gym is gone. Sizzler's gone They're living in like the little did they call they closed closed him. I think so it doesn't look like the sign's gone Yeah, well they they built them all up there Yeah, nice one. Nice one, but uh, it's become fucking

Night of living dead up there. So I don't know what's gonna happen entire blocks. I had to go up there. That's where my dentist is Oh, is it okay all the way past that I'm gonna bridge. Yeah, it's scary. I'm gonna drive back I saw that strip club that looks like lonely fucking because they're stripping but they're stripping outside. Did you know that? What? Did you know that? The strip clubs that are open on a Uplinkership no no not those disgusting ones You know like when a strip club is a strip club, right? They're open

The health department has let them open in certain cities, right, but you got to dance outside Yeah So here you are in your car driving down a side street and here's fucking some chick Doing a table dance. It'd be a lot of fly traps out in the parking lot But George is working. What George Perez worked the lunch time shift as a dj during the day outside Oh, my dad. He says they got 88 customs yesterday I go instead a lot. He goes fuck. Yeah He goes people are burning through those unemployment checks at the strip club

Holy shit. I could see Lee's friends are back We gotta bring him. We gotta run. I gotta invite my friend to the local podcast Wow, so stripping is like fucking big right now. Listen, I'm big on like actually keeping things closed But if strip clubs are open comedy should be open. That's crazy. That's crazy I still wouldn't go to the strip club, right But i'm just saying that strip clubs are getting creative They are outside now There's a check for those girls, but fuck man. That's terrible for girl

That's terrible. Paul will get real hot in the zone Money, you know, those girls have big lives. A lot of them have kids. A lot of them, you know, are going to school a lot of them, you know So i'm not mad at him. It's funny. I watched that Jennifer Lopez movie about stripping. Uh-huh. It was on one of the paid channels one night And I watched on a plane first. It was on a plane I was on a plane one time and it was on like, let me see what it was about The chinese girl is really cute. So I kind of kept my attention Have you seen that movie? No Right hustlers. Yeah, it's about strippers that fucking just take you down. Oh, okay. Yeah

They just take you fucking down like the whole thing Was it based on a real person's life? Yeah. Oh, yeah And you know, it's so funny like he is they'll rob you don't fucking, you know a good stripper That's what their job is to fucking rob you to promise you you're gonna he's gonna Suck your dick till the juice comes out, but they don't do nothing That's the best stripper the one that tells you you're gonna eat your asshole And meanwhile you're giving the 20s and she's gonna meet your denny's in two. That's the one that's the best strippers at the bar Spout and bullshit so she doesn't have to do that much dancing. Yeah, that's the best stripper

But they were taking like credit cards shit. They were like They were killing stock market guys Killing them. Well, Cardi B came out because she's in that movie and she came out and told people got really mad at her Because she was basically drugging people And taking and stealing money from them. Why don't you go? Why don't you go home with them? If you're a man and you don't let yourself that happened to you, what are you gonna do? I Guess you got to read

If a girl comes up to you and it's that easy, right? You got to know there's a by the way coming somewhere There's a locked door somewhere Nobody just comes up to you and starts talking to you And makes it that easy for you unless there's a by the way somewhere Right, I agree, you know, right when you get them in the cars and they hate you with the by the way You have to be pretty sloppy at a strip club for a girl to You know Yeah, and do that that's being pretty sloppy

Oh Have you ever had anything like that happen? I've been to I've I've been Three times twice with George and it was fun with George because George is the king of that strip club and And they all love him so they're nice to me, but that's like that's part of the reason why I never went it just It just felt like it felt weird like I was like this isn't a real I'm just paying to get a boner Like I don't know

It never really made sense to me. I'm just getting paid to get frustrated. I don't know. I don't know what the point It was great. They're fun. They're beautiful and it's fun If I if I was rich if I like didn't care about 500 bucks. I could see myself going once a month But I'm still at a point where it's like Why am I spending 300 bucks here? Right? It's uh, I'm not I'm not at that point yet, but it's fun I could see it being the one the one thing I still don't understand is like going with a bunch of guy friends

And hanging out with them like when George was there We I'd see him and I'd see his his buddies, but we'd split up And like I don't like the real perverts that you are. Yeah, I can't I don't understand going to vagus Like I've I've been in vagus 10 times. I've never once been to I can't imagine being at a table with all my other guy buddies All of us having boners just sitting there uncomfortable just That part doesn't sound like fun to me. Yeah, take your corners It's it's crazy. I'm Like I think I start I started out a strip club guy

You know, I started out a a peep show guy Like my first like an old school peep show. Yeah when you're 14 13 in New York City You go to the peep shows, you know, and you see people fucking in front of you Wait, do you mean movies or do you mean like actually like actually? Oh good lord And it's You know, looking back at it you laugh But it is the most disgusting Experience that you could ever do as a man like

To walk into a closet watch two people fuck Pull your dick out jerk off You open the door and there's a little fucking spanish guy with a mop and a buck He goes in He wipes up your jizz and he puts in a bucket Filled a little abortions Because that's and and it was just horrible like when you're 13 you play hooky

You go at 10 in the morning and you walk out and you're like, wow, what the fuck did we just see? You know this and and you're happy because at 13 You saw a pussy And tits Yeah, but when you when you realize it, you're just looking at a train wreck She's just a train wreck like they would just and I didn't realize until I was older like when I was in my 30s I would get off

The bus right there in port authority And in those days for breakfast breakfast or what it was, you know And for me it was that hot dog stand right by time square right by fucking Port authority On the corner not grace papaya. No. No. It was a hot dog stand that had kabobs Two dollar kebabs. I get two fucking kebabs for breakfast But I'd watch peep world The name of it was peep world. Do you remember that the lab factory opened up a club right behind it?

Oh, okay, it was called peep world And I would sit there and lead and eat the fucking kebabs at 8 15 in the morning I wouldn't have to be at work till 9 9 15. They wouldn't say nothing to me And I'd want and you know was the majority of the people going in there acidic juice The seeds were going in not make eye contact with you And then I would go let me go just go one day. So let me go just go see what's going on there And it's like going to the circus you walk in

There's a guy with a bag with tokens. It's very social. Oh, yeah, that's a guy with tokens And you give him five dollars and he gives you fucking tokens And then you walk into the back You could smell like chlorine. Yeah. Oh, it's like sperm chlorine. Yeah, exactly chlorine chlorine And you see men walking around but nobody's really making eye contact Because you're not supposed to be there Okay, nobody walking around because they're looking to see what food is open There's different corners. There's different chicks

Like Felicia made a movie. Yeah perfs which Joey was in and you can get in on amazon But uh, but it was done in the peep show the last working peep show in los angeles And that smell is dirty mop water bleach and sperm and sperm Which and and and sperm kind of to me has like a a bloody mary kind of smell to it, right? I fucking just nailed this California that smells like sperm I don't know. Every once in a while you'll be I'll be walking out of the smell sperm outside Maybe I'm crazy. I don't know what the fuck you're walking. I don't believe it

Do you know sperm when you walk? I'm telling you all the gay signs are coming out. I'm moving here. Like that's what I'm glad I didn't have to go to I went to us. I went to a triple X movie. There was one on sunday nights in jersey And one night my buddy's like, yeah, let's go to this triple X. We were just seniors in high school Like six of us went And when you go in the bathroom, that's when the party would start Like two guys would follow you in And they would be so perverted that they would walk over to you and try to look at your dick while you were pissing

And then when you call them they look away I would like to just say like, uh, you know, I was stripper we all know that when I was 18 and But I remember like I really need the fucking money And it was like this contest And I didn't give a fuck And no one had ever taught no man had ever had a conversation with me other than you know trying to get some Right and I remember being on stage and I was dancing and there was a guy looked down. He's like jerking off And let me tell you it's fucking powerful

It's powerful. It was like, yeah, fuck these people Powerful if you're when you get to that point where you have to do something like that where you you know what I mean? It's It's fucking I've jerked off outside in the car. It's not a sad moment. It's not a sad moment. I'm coming down off coke I've jerked off in a car when I lived in my car. I'm like a lie to you about that but To take your dick out and just wipe off at a girl. I've never done that. That's the craziest fucking thing Well, that's the craziest most just to take your dick out like the Louis CK somebody kills me Like I don't get that whole thing

Till this day But that was his twist That was the twist that made him brilliant You follow me there's people certain people like certain Deep dark shit, you know, yeah, that was the twist Because if nobody ever accused him of rape or nothing like that nobody said he was a bad guy This thing was to whack off while he was talking to you on the phone Or to ask you if he could whack off in front of you. How do you find out that you're

I guess it just it just went right as you're asking the first girl. Can I whack off in front of you? That's my thing You see things as a child and they make you react differently and You know something could have happened. There's more to this story that we'll never know Well, it's and he's and how long do you know him? He's a sweetheart of a guy. He gave me two jobs I can never talk bad about Louis. I'm just talking I'm not I'm not I'm not talking bad about Louis I'm talking about the psychology of what I knew a girl I knew a girl. I had a dear friend

that when you saw her You couldn't believe it like you were like, okay, this girl's pretty nice She always was an unfurr boyfriend But I heard years later when she'd go on the road She would have three sons And they let you know guys would run trains but I had liner in the feature, you know, I heard that years later That was her thing When you look at it

Why would she do that? That was her thing If I was a female comic, I wouldn't sleep with comics But I would go on the road and work like a male comic And get myself a piece of pussy work them dry and then throw them out in the morning like a fucking Because I'm a man can't throw a woman out in the morning, but a woman could throw a man out in the morning You never threw a woman out. No, I got my balls to tell somebody to leave Have you seen my dick? Thankfully, if you suck my dick, you're doing me a great favor. I don't have the balls

Tell you to fucking leave But you've just left though. Oh, yeah, you leave because it's time to go. Okay But you can't as a woman I've had Honestly, honestly, I've had like when I was younger. I had like three women that dismissed me It's a horrible feeling How was what was it like to be dismissed like what was the move did they have similar moves when they dismissed you I

One chick I was in love with not really in love with I was in love with a pussy. I was 20 I was 20 and she was 29 Big difference. Right. Oh fuck. She dismissed you. Oh my god. It was horrible. She used to sponge back then Okay, the worst she we were friends. We were neighbors And I never ever intruded on her never spoke sexually to a 20 year old kid I didn't know how to treat her. I just thought she was hot She had that what's the mom from

married with children She had that katie sagal type thing when katie sagal was younger Like when I first saw katie sagal, I was like, oh my god, it looks like I don't even remember what the girl's name now She had a sister And I kind of had a crush on the sister Because I saw the sister one day watching tv and she had shorts on And I could tell her pussy was hairy as fuck. It was I could see the hair She had she left the leg open so you could see the bush come out

And I was like this sister is fucking hot and the sister was about 25 But the one that was 29 was also hot. So she cut hair and she worked at a wine store At night she cut hair in the daytime And then from the barbershop she went to a wine store. She was a general manager She was like a whiny chick like she knew all about wines and stuff There's my first girlfriend in colorado. We moved next to each other We lived next to each other April may and june

And one day in june, she's cut my hair Right and we're talking about something and she goes, you know, it's been crazy to me That you and none of your friends have ever hit on any of us And I go, you know what we're all from the same town and we're all raised the same You're our neighbors. We don't see the We don't want to bring drama to the house And she goes it would it would have felt a little better Before you left or something to that effect that one is

Would at least hit on us at one time because it was a great place to live It was called maroon. It was Well, my god, it was in besoak, colorado you know 83 And it was like a side it was condos and they were all built going up the hill, but nobody locked their doors Everybody had a screen door. Your dog was outside You know, it was a mile from the road So you had to make a right onto the property drive a mile and then all these

Houses were there next to each other. Everybody's house was open The guy that lived next to me was an ex-green bay Uh cleveland brown Big motherfucker. He used to drink every day Come over bring his drinks. Hey, I'm a brand new young I get criminal but Taking a little breather at the time I was taking a little breather

I didn't want to rob any of those apartments because they would have pegged it on me My buddies would have pegged it on me. So I didn't do anything. I behaved myself like a gentleman So one day this girl's cut my hair And she's just like poking me like What's the problem? You guys gay? Like none of these that I've ever tried enough and I go so what do you want me to tell you? And she goes, uh, what do you think of me? And I go honestly, I think you're fucking hotter than hell

I think you got a great fucking ass and you know, I told the truth. You want me to tell you? And she told me she goes, when do you move up? And I go July 2nd first and she goes, we have a date July 2nd She goes, I gotta rule out and fuck my name is either So I said, okay So I moved in With my roommate that was living next to me That with you know, it was four guys from North Bergen. My roommate's name was Jimmy Berkel

God rest his soul. He died years later. I still miss him. I haven't taken his number out of my phone He was my brother and we lived together. I never really told him that I dated thought I was gonna date this girl. So seriously I moved July 1st And July 2nd She came up He went away with his girlfriend and left me in the house. I had just moved there So July 1st was like a Friday night

And they took me out to Aspen We went out to Aspen because it was right next door to the bus and I blacked out I got fucking hammered. I did blow and I remember I didn't know what apartment building to go to And I knocked on the guy's door And he opened it on my toilet here. He's like, nah I know is 12 I live in apartment 12 this apartment 12 He goes, maybe you're up and he walked ended walking me up to d12 where I lived right guy's name was bergie

He was from Pittsburgh I ended up becoming friends with him Do I live here? Do I live here? He's like, nah, you're not gonna have to fuck. But he was a nice guy He walked me I went home That was like the weirdest weekend in my life That tuesday that saturday morning I had to go into town to Aspen To buy like cds or something. I was gonna buy like a new cd. There was a cd store

That was next to the wine store that that girl worked. Okay So I went into the wine store and I go what's going on? Where's our date? And she goes I get out of here by five I was gonna come up to your apartment in snowmass village. I'm like, oh Like this is real. Like I didn't think she's you're 29. I'm 20. Right. Like this is real Like I'm like, what what happened to her like I was joking. I went what happened to our date And she goes, I was just getting I was just about to call you I'm gonna come over and after I get out so I fucking ran down to the thing

I was waiting there to take a bus and there was a hitching. There was a hitching post There's a hitching post So I hitchhiked and the guy told me he goes, I can't give you a ride up to snowmass village I could only give you a ride to the bottom of the village then cross 82 And hitchhike up to snowmass village. I go fine. I don't know who the guy was That's how life was that you would get into a person's car They had a bench in Aspen with a sign that had this on it and it was a And this meant I'm only going a little way people were that nice that they beat me and go Lee

I'm only going this far Well, some people go come on get in where you going? Glenwood Springs. Glenwood Springs was the farthest You had basalt you had snowmass village Some people went up the hill to go to the village Some people would drop you off at the bottom and you had to walk across now. Look it up root 82 one of the most dangerous fucking roads in the country Oh, yeah Oh

That's why you don't go out when you're living out you stay in snowmass because people get killed all the time on 82 So but in the summer, it's a little different in the summer. It's a little different so I uh Cross the street I go across the street. I'm standing there with my thumb out And you don't even have to stand with your thumb out people pull over and one of those jeeps pulls up with the Eagle in front of it. I'm okay. Yeah, yeah It was convertible. He had the top on

I walked to the car because he went by me and he stopped So I had to run up to the car. I was a little, you know, it's my it's 12,000 feet You know, it's a little higher than basalt And I was kind of huffing and puffing. I was in great shape. Yeah, but I remember walking it I didn't even look at the guy. I said, thank you when I looked It was John motherfucking Denver jack. You shut the fuck up. Yes, it was. Yes, it was. Oh my god You're not john demony goes. Yes. I am. How you doing? Because I'm going up to do my annual fourth of july thing It's no mass village. He goes come on. I'll give you a ride and he gave me a ride to the supermarket

I shook his hand we talked and then I ran home. I went to the supermarket bought some shit I went home. We basically had a tv with a milk crate on top of it We had like a homemade couch with another milk crate with a board a piece of wood And then we had the two bedrooms. My bedroom was just a sheet Did you call it a homemade couch? Jimmy burkle made put this fucking thing together Of something pillows and shit and there was one channel

It was aspirin channel two and the only movie they played was fucking A charles brunson movie because they knew when charles brunson was up there So they would replay his movies over and over because charles liked his movies on tv You think i'm fucking lying to you. There was one channel lead Aspen two until we got cable How many times did you watch that charles brunson? Mr. Majestic was the movie that was on all fucking weekend And then she came over She called and said she was what was the address i told the d12

She came right in and she goes let's you know again guys i'm from new york city, you know I don't know nothing. She was a white chick and she's like, what are we doing inside? You know, we should don't don't you have a lawn and i'm like, yeah, she goes let's go Yeah, you don't want to fuck around milk carton furniture But my lawn was a shed lawn. It was like the other condos on the bottom floor So we just went out there with a sheet. I'd never seen that She put like a blanket out and she brought wine and re-cheese. I'd know. I was the american cheese I'm like, what's the mozzarella? She's like americans. She brought brie cheese

I'd never and apples I'd never in my life seen that before that's hilarious. I'm like, what is this and she's like you put some of the brie on the apple I'm like, oh this fucking chick is crazy This chick is crazy. This chick is crazy I don't know about this shit, but it was good And then we just went inside and it was natural. We just made love. We went into the shower You made love. I think you gave her like three stabbings that day And it was so fucking good that

She dismissed you. No, no, no Let me tell you how good the pussy was so I gave her a stabbing That saturday afternoon And she left saturday afternoon And slept at the house and I was at that age where the pussy was so good But I kept jerking off because the pussy was so good I kept I couldn't take it till the next time and she's like just call me whenever you want to see me. I'm like Guess what? I want to see you again tomorrow

So I woke up at that moment. I couldn't take it no more. I was jerking off all morning. I probably called I called them like I'm coming down and she says come down. I was in the cook. I went back down and it was all day All night. I remember one night we stayed up all night fucking we do a little bit of coke And she wouldn't shave her pussy. She was old and she was just beautiful. She had an italian look to her so this went on this just went on for like four months

Where the first month was heavy duty sex, but after that it was just I'll call you when I want to give you a stabbing and then that went up for about two months And then it started getting a little serious Like she's like I want you to meet my friends and I'm like I don't want me nobody Like I don't want to meet nobody Right And then one day I went down there to a house or something

and we messed around And she wanted me to go To see the rocky hara picture show. Oh, yeah, and in those days that was not gonna happen Yeah, and she would get dressed up Her and her friends would get dressed up and sing the songs and shit I was doing too much for me. I was straight out of jersey right then And I remember selling a listen You got two options tonight

You could come over to the house and I could give you a stabbing Or I'm going to go see trading places Oh, okay. Okay, fair enough. It was like her told me November 83 We messed around for that long and all of a sudden She said to me I'm not going to see trading places And I go, what do you mean? And she goes, I'm not going to see trading places. You have to come with me When she says you have to come with me

I looked and I'm like, I'm not going And she goes, well You might as well just leave And that was it. I never spoke to her again. What? Sandy was in there. Yeah, come on Sandy. Yeah, but that wasn't her dismissing you. She dismissed me right there Yeah, I thought I thought dismissing meant more like You know just through to the side. Oh, no the way you're saying it It's like you were fucking if you don't meet a girl's friend when I first moved here. I met a girl one night

Took me home We did everything and the next morning she looked me straight in the face and she goes I hope you're not expecting breakfast. You're gonna be Oh, yeah More of those stories. She wasn't like once the alcohol wore off and she looked at me in the light. She was like There's no breakfast here. You could go And I remember leaving there like It was down by like third avenue

Right I take like a cab. I didn't know what I was was like on a Monday morning Like I've been dismissed. Yeah, dude. Do you feel bad as a guy when you get dismissed? Yeah, how would you feel if you You know, especially if you ate her ass and the pussy you did everything that was expected of you Okay You really I had to happen once and I was kind of happy It was like a girl that we we had just only had we looked up like two or three times And it was like the last time and we figured she's like

You know, if you're not gonna sleep over you don't really have to cuddle like you could just leave and I left I was like 45 minutes See that's being dismissed No, she dismissed me and it's a terrible feeling like yeah for sure Like it's a fucking horrible feeling, you know, so you think the other way How can you say that to somebody? Especially after you smell my balls. How can I fucking just dismiss you? I'm saying I can't dismiss you. I gotta at least thank you for breakfast

So to bring you back to normal, you know something but no, it's a it's a horrible feeling You know, it's a fucking terrible feeling But it happens. It happens. Who gives a fuck. I wonder what Sandy's doing now. I still think about I just remember her name just now That was like the weirdest I had two weird relationships like that. I had another one where I met a girl. I sold her a car She brought her boyfriend. I'm like this cannot be happening This good-looking broad cannot be dating this fucking mutt

She didn't know that she was a 12 Right. She had no idea. She had a body for days that she was a 12. She dressed down. She was one of those bitches That didn't really show the goods Right, but she just has the goods And I remember selling that car going I'm gonna fuck this check like this No two ways about it. Look at this fucking guy for a boy She should be ashamed of herself. Her father never talked to her. I mean the guy was a half of a fucking man And I called the three days later just to check up on how's the car running?

What's going on? And I would call every like 10 days. How's the car running and she goes are you asking me for something? Let's go on a date She wanted a date. We had a couple drinks. She didn't drink because she was a rehab counselor. Oh, okay Oh So like the first time I met I had a couple bumps in me She had a down playing. I'm like, oh And like two days later. She told me she broke up with the guy Because I couldn't deal with him no more

He was my college boyfriend And then we just went on full straight out. We even got in the car and drove to colorado together Got all the way to colorado. Where do you in color? Huh? Weren't you in color? No, I was in jersey. I met her in you were selling cars in jersey and in google cliffs, new jersey Is that who you came to colorado? That's why I came to colorado. Not the first time The second time in 93 We drove out like three days in a Jeep and she got an apartment. I had zero dollars. I had like $1100 So she goes you could stay here until you get your own apartment. I moved in with my cousin

And because she was a drug counselor Yeah, so she was by the book. She didn't know But I would go over there Get evil like, you know, eat a monkey and then do a couple lines by myself in the bedroom And get evil and get hard lines and shit and she was just a nice girl one day. She told me She goes, I know you're getting high. Don't come here anymore as she opened the door I said get out and I got out Did you feel as bad that time as the other time I never felt you feel bad

Listen, you feel bad, but There comes a point when you're a young like but by the age of 24 as a man You be the met your girlfriend that you're gonna marry or you're on a slinging dick cycle Okay, and what that means is you got to kiss a lot of frogs To get to your prince, right? Okay, and it's it's I think it's how it was One of the things I regretted the most about my life like I could tell you I had great times But those women that You know

How can we what's the best way to put it without hurting anybody's feelings? Just our interactions like today as a man I look at my daughter and I feel those interactions Like they went nowhere Like you know what I am like we did dirty things And it went nowhere So I feel bad for them for me, you know like There was like 20 or 30 of them that you know, I was single from I was single from you know, uh

I don't know 91 to fucking 95 What's single mean single means you're getting pussy, right? It's just not none of it's sticking around They got other agendas too. Yeah, absolutely. So from 91 to 95 I was dating drug girls Girls who did drugs they did go they come over at two Can I come over with my girlfriend fuck no? That's four noses

You know I'm saying That's four noses is all I need is one blowjob, you know I don't need four fucking people over here starting my coat and it was kind of ugly like I look back at it Like what a like what like some of them I still remember who they are and I looked them up and then married and I got kids The dirtiest one is like the president of the pta Right. Oh, I'm sure I'm sure because I still talk to her parents. I was tight with her parents and stuff And we used to do some dirty things on sunday nights and now I sit here Me and her had a sunday night relationship

She had a boyfriend. She'd break up with him every saturday, right? She'd go back to them on tuesday. It was fucking disgusting genius move by the way. It's disgusting It was such a disgusting. So I look at those All those relationships that didn't matter and I like What the fuck, you know, yeah, like how bad was that like that's what I look at bad stuff Like I'm like I feel so bad. I wasted dead time I don't think you should uh think of it as wasting their time Although there is a building whenever I drive by it in west hollywood where I shudder

Because I had a coke fueled night there once that was not correct I was still to this day. Even my kids were little in the car. I'd drive by it like It's about 1988 89 You know what I mean? So but uh, but it's something I had to go through and move on So I don't think you should feel bad at all, you know I do it's weird like you do You know, I used to Think like how can I work with this girl again? Like how can I

So then I made a rule not to like sleep with people that were close to you. That's a bad rule Like we have to be around every day, right? That's always bad, you know, or get it out of the way But it's just crazy that uh I still think of all those getting dismissed like that still hurts. It doesn't hurt you It's just part of the game. You know, you're going through It's you're going through broads That's the way to put it If Sinatra was here, that's what he'd say to you

You're going through broads the same way broads grow through men. Yeah, they go through they go through You know It doesn't mean she's a slut or he's a whore You just meet 20 people that you just don't really take it to the next level right until some people's sex isn't intimate You know what I mean? What do you mean? Like there's making love and there's fucking someone to some people. It's uh, you know, it's not intimate You could fuck someone and for a long time and there's it might not be intimate

You know what I mean? And it's a lot about like this space like Joey always makes fun of me for a girl named milkshake There was a girl who I was with after Paula for Three or four months and we I should have if I had met her at a different time We might have like dated and actually done stuff like actually been a couple but Right after I was right after a relationship and I couldn't the thought of going out to eat dinner with somebody Like I was cringing I couldn't do it

And so we ended up breaking up because she she caught feelings after a while, but I don't know But what headspace you're into I think well what I'm talking about No, I hear what you're saying, but what I'm talking about like I was engaged after I got divorced to this guy and he Was like a reformed kink. You know what I mean? Like he had a bag of Uh goodies in his closet, you know, and he'd be like, uh, you know, I really want to tie you up like but sex was never

There was never eye contact in the most deepest part of Pleasuring another person it was very it and and he even asked me to marry him But that was one of the decisions why? You know, I didn't marry him because I said to him one day because it started to make me Feel like I had no value because the thing is too if you're with someone who's a kink You have to escalate that shit. You can't just be like I'm gonna tie your left foot up Like more than one or two times and you got to be like, well, let me try an arm too with that left foot

You know, you have to escalate the the thing about it, you know, and uh, that's So I do think uh, it's not always where you heard a girl's feelings When you're wait because it's all it's going the other way direction too Does that make sense? Yeah. Yeah, you know what one time in boulder I went against my fucking, uh My instinct I messed around with his Spanish, bro She was a hot little mexican chick that her father owned the taco stand and we used to eat that And her and I used to like flirt like and then one day her brother

Threw me the number to the house and I called the house and she answered We started talking and her and I like we're I don't know And I remember we dated like uh, she was really cute but She came to my house the first three or four times And then one night she goes I live at my parents house part time

But I have a roommate I have an apartment with a roommate When I go to school because she went to school in Colorado Springs something crazy So We had been together maybe two or three times And it was pretty good. It was drug field and the whole thing And then but every time before she would come She would always like say Uh, I'm gonna mount you tonight. Like it was always like she threatened me. You know what I'm saying?

Like I'm gonna get on top of you tonight. Like shit like that Then the third time she said something to me and then we talked in between There was like a week where she was busy with school And I remember calling and going so when am I gonna see you again? Because my car wouldn't have made it to fucking Denver in those days I had a car that was a piece of shit that the door had a A bungee cord I had to collect a bungee cord like if I was driving and I hit the bungee cord I'd die

But then we'd wrap around my neck. You know how many times that thing almost took my eye out. Oh my god So I couldn't really drive along distance. It was a car to drive You know just around the neighborhood And I said to her Uh, she goes wait. Do you come to my place and I'm gonna tie up. You're gonna love the whips and shit Never call her again Never call her again. Yeah. Yeah, I know. Yeah. Like she was talking about talking to my ass and all this shit and whips and chains You can just be like, no, thank you. I said, I'll call you next week. I'll call you in a few hours

Still waiting for the call. She's still waiting for the call Yeah, she wanted to strap it. No, no or ex-boyfriend liked it. Yeah, you should try it. I'm like, I don't think I'd really be into it I'm telling you one time. I'll fuck you. You love it And she just she wanted to spank you She wanted to fuck me in the ass with a fucking strap on right and she was a beautiful girl I just could not there was no way that was happening. I don't personally like I did it because I was like, okay I mean, I'm just divorced. Why not, right? And then but then after a while you're like Well, he's just fucking me up against this mirror beating the shit out of me. You know what I mean?

Like I'm like, you know like and I'll let you know and I'd be like, can you like just give me eye contact every third time You know what I mean? But I could never understand the kink of it. That's because it's not my kink like he would his thing Is like he would want to tie my left foot to because he had a four poster bed the giveaway, right? The grown man has a four poster bed. Get the fuck out, right? So he would like tied my leg up and the whole time we were having sex. I remember this the first time we did it I kept thinking like it was such a turn on to him and I kept thinking god If you just wouldn't tie my leg I could throw some more fucking torque this way, you know what I mean? Because I was like it wasn't a turn on to me. You know what I mean?

Yeah, once you take it to a different place like I have friends that have kings Like I have one dear friend who has tremendous kings and when he tells me about him I die of laughter Like what is his weirdest king? Like a mask with a zipper and playing balls in your mouth and tying you up that leather and all that shit and Doing drugs. I mean he goes all the way and chicks go all the way with him and nobody's ever accused him of rape I know

20 women that have dated him and they've all left on great terms and I see the women that he's dated in hollywood I just shake my head because I know at one time my boy Adam tied up with a ball and then I see him on tv and I'm like my boy tied that bitch up to death You know So my favorite ones are the ones that like go buy a rope at the hardware store and they're like, yeah, you wouldn't know mother monger I had I had a horrible problem. I had a relationship with a girl

But I loved dearly. I fell in love with it. The pussy was that good But her kink was getting beat up. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and I couldn't it was just terrible But the shit that came out of her mouth was you know Like it was just crazy like the choking and all that. Yeah, once you start getting into choking you lose me Oh, yeah, that's what you lose if I got a choking for you to get off the craziest thing I did There was a girl that I really liked and for her to come You had to come on her face So you had to come on her face

Let it drip and then fuck her and she could come And there was no Friday there's some dirty Boulder was a fucking nightmare There was a chicken boulder that only let me eat a pussy when she took sleeping pills That's the only way she could come And her it wasn't xanax. It was valium stones with the v's. Uh-huh. She'd take like 20 milligrams You don't know how many times I ate a pussy and I'd be like

What's going on? She'd be passed out And she'd come and nod. Yeah She'd squirt and I would like to That's a that's a good way to dismiss. I just get my shit and leave Oh my god I remember the first time I ever came across someone that was a kink and it was when I was 18 years old And I was a stripper at the peppermint lounge in colorado springs colorado and there was this guy that would come

And he was probably like 40 I would guess right now And he was a helicopter pilot for the oil companies, right? And he looked like a helicopter pilot from the oil companies very handsome, right older guy, right? So then we're like blah blah blah blah blah blah. He comes over to my place and I Literally 18 and a half years old or something like that. He's like, yeah There's rubber bands in my pocket take a rubber band out. I'd be like, what is that? Just trust me. Take a rubber band out. Oh my god. Okay I take the rubber band. He's like, all right. I just want you to listen to me. I want you to take that rubber band

And I want you to put it around my balls both balls tight. Maybe do it twice three times a loop. Okay I'm gonna be like what? What what I don't know. That's kind of weird and he'd be like, okay, I'm gonna show you the first time He took the rubber band put it around his balls like like right it looked like you know We reuse them every god new rubber bands every time the craziest thing I do is I'm on circumcised So if I jerk off I hold the tip and I'll just sit there for like a minute

Get my oxygen to me Let the skin fill up with all the sperm And then I go to the toilet. I just bloop and it actually sounds like but I go bloop It just comes out of my dick and hits the toilet. It looks like an oil spill for like two minutes It looks like the Exxon Valdez, right a little fucking oil I flushed that motherfucker right here. I hear are you that man? Are you the man? It's a little Spanish That little Spanish firms, right

Where does it feel like just sitting there holding you're like the tips? I just sit there sometimes and think about the whole situation the home embarrassed. I am I'm uh such and such Yeah, whatever because I've been doing this since I was like 20 I finally realized what's the rush. I'm not gonna come in my shorts I'm not gonna come in the bed and lay on it But if I just take the force and hold it together, it just fills up. I just let it fill up like a water balloon That's not a bad idea to fucking whack off on a balcony and see people walking underneath and let the balloon lose

Well, anyway, let me finish it because I started it So so he has his two little smugglers, right and they're and it's all tight and then he goes he goes he goes Tap it And I go what? He goes tap it And I'm like, you know, and he goes then he takes my hand and he's like tap it, right? And and he's like it's just just my thing. Just do it, right? So I'd be like And then he got so turned on I was like, yeah, bitch

And it was also very free That is I can't imagine Putting a rubber band around my nutsack and hitting it like a bow like just hit like bang No, like a boxing bag and I can't even like that Isn't that crazy? You know, like when people say to you like mushrooms. Who ate the first mushroom? Who figured out that if you If you took dog shit or cow shit and moved it over there'd be a mushroom under it

That's who I when I think about when I think about after shit The guy from in excess who would jerk off and tie a thing around his neck You know, all those things have always been very, you know, I'm a criminal You want to talk about criminality stuff? I know about crowd how to bury the body But all that other shit I was never really exposed to until Like two years before I moved here and then once you move here you meet Weird type of sex people. I'm very lucky. I met my wife when I met my wife Because until the time I met my wife, I was meeting some weird fucking women and we were doing some crazy fucking shit

It was not good and it was not healthy You know, when I go home and I'm thinking to myself Jesus Christ That just happened. That's bad. Yeah, like just just stupid sex with people. Yeah, I'm protected, you know Getting an A-ball, you know going to a hotel. It was terrible But you said something the other day about there's a lot of people where you grew up that married their high school sweetheart. Yes And that's the other that's like the opposite end of the spectrum like that. I have a friend who did and I sometimes don't think about like I wonder if he It has a good sex life like I wonder if people like that are like fulfilled

If they if they really got someone they wanted to spend the rest of their life with Well, I know someone that was uh high school sweethearts and they have a very active sex life It's never slowed, but they don't have kids and they've been married 25 years, but they never had kids Yeah Crazy, right? I know it's such a crazy concept like what? I like to have sex more But i'm embarrassed to ask my wife like she's tired after times. It's like why asking i'm sorry To go through the whole fucking thing

But when I was younger, I would wear you out if you were a woman. Yeah Like if you were my girlfriend I wore you out just out of principle. Fuck it. You're here. Let's do it. Let's do it. Why not? Right. Well, you go and you just come out of the shower. Let's see what that monkey smells like It's fresh. You know what I'm saying? But i'm gonna rush. Yeah, who cares everybody's gonna rush. Right. Right. Well now hey now that i'm home with my boys Oh my god It's not good

You know, it's kind of crazy Felicia 10 years ago. I was about the 11 years ago. I was about the quick comedy and I Bumped into you and we started the podcast and here we are today. I know a lot 2000 fucking nine We did a hundred episodes Did I did 850 with this mortadelle? And uh, here here we are man, you know

I mean we got into the podcasting thing when there was We were calling mark maren for advice Right like the big The big guy in town was uh Corolla Yeah, that was the big guy around town. You know now look where the podcast has gone to So I wanted to get you three guys together in the room And say that we did the right thing at the right time

We know it's kind of crazy and even stopping doing beauty and the beast was the right thing at the right time for both of us Yeah at the because everything happens for a reason for sure like I I could see because I was the one Like when we had the little website and people would write comments and it's like I totally could see that the direction you needed to go But I just couldn't participate because I had kids And a cranky ex-husband, you know what I mean? So it's like I couldn't you know, and I totally get Why that change needed to be made, you know But I enjoyed my time with you. We had we had a lot of fun

Yeah, that movie was on. Yeah, and I kept thinking you know, I was on the toilet. It was too late I didn't want to hurt your feelings The guy that he said that that movie was based off him the cop Who kept torturing you he he was friends with your boyfriend and he did that cop He did the movie colors. I think it was one of your last episodes. Yeah. Yeah, you did. He was digs. He was right Cop that was supposed to be colors. Yes. He was drinking. Yeah, and he was breaking your balls about Dave he kept asking you have you gotten tested lately and you're like, yeah, he kept asking you fucking different shit I'll never forget that how much we laughed

But the best thing from your podcast that I learned was Storytelling Oh for sure. And I like this is when What people don't understand is what we got into we were open micers of podcast for sure Like we didn't even put up the first episodes. We did like 10 episodes where we just hung around and just And it was also like a learning process in because you had come from doing so much with rogan like No jokes No jokes foolish, right because I would come in with you know and to learn

I really truly learned how to tell a better story by hearing your stories and And it was such a process of seeing uh, you Elevated every time, you know what I mean and and sometimes It's better to start a project without a goal To just start a project. You know what I mean? Just figuring it out

Not overthinking stuff. Don't you agree? I listen when we started the podcast. We knew nothing About nothing We knew nothing about nothing just like rogan Just like sam trippley Just like bill burr You know mark maran was already on the board with his Right marva. I mean we called mark with vice couple Nobody really knew it was going into the unknown not knowing and now

Look at what podcasts have done The last five years. I mean It's it's you go on the list is there's millions of fucking podcasts and now there's no tv I wonder how many tv produced podcasts are gonna come out because we're gonna go back to listening like 1955 You know, we're gonna go back to let's sit around the radio on saturday nights and listen to Fucking, you know, whatever, but I just wanted to thank you for uh We did something really good

I never want you to forget that that we Did something really good and it was like It was the weirdest story because we had been doing it for a while and we were just going figuring out the moves and I told you a story about mugger the hooker and lighting her wig on fire and I remember that

I was so focused into telling the story You had spit things up You had mic guards And I was so focused on telling the story About this hooker and now we you know, she got into a fight and then she she tried to cut albie and Then we got her into north bergen and we took her to the fairview cemetery And then we threw her out of the car and she said what you're gonna kill me, you know, and I remember at one point looking at you

Because I was so involved in the story and your jaw was like fucking wide open and I go We're on to something That's when I realized I was on to something and it's like burg crisis said Because he told the machine story on rogan He's got to say it. He's got to talk about it now. He just he goes recently I stopped talking about it because I stopped saying the fucking story got sick of saying the story

But that hooker story Carried me for a year Because people wanted to hear the hooker story. It's so Fucking weird how it all Came down from that. Yeah, and I still remember getting in the car like I had done the longest yard I had done a move with the nero. I had done taxi. I had done all these little things and You know, there's a thing called selling tickets, you know

And the improbable book you don't book anybody if you're funny enough, right the chops They'll book you and then when you you know, you sell 90 tickets. They don't get mad at you. They'll rebook you but They'll keep rebooking you to build your career, you know And I'll tell you when I did the longest yard at that time The equation was you did a movie you sold tickets You did a tv show you sold tickets. Well, I did a movie and the tv shows That didn't sell no fucking tickets. So here I am banging my head off the wall. How do you sell a ticket? It it's really weird to think that telling a story

about mugging a hooker And lighting her wig on fly changed my comedy career for what it is today, right? That is crazy That is crazy It's just insane to me. Yeah that telling that story Changed everything and then I take Like you look at my two specials that dog shit, but if you look at the fucking things I did for Ari That's my best work That's that's oh this is not happening. Yeah, those are my best work. That's my I was so loose

Because it was our Ari and I knew that I had to do good for Ari Yeah, like it was so different where my motivation was like you learn all these things But going back to the podcast can I just say I hate when you downplay their your specials like I I Joey when I watch your second special I started to cry like I was overwhelmed by it like I I I don't like when you do that We all feel It's like, you know, it's like sometimes you eat somebody's pussy, but you didn't eat it right I know but from the get go you were like, ah, and I was like, no, that's like an awesome sometimes

Sometimes you just feel weird, but we did some special something very special Felicia someday You're gonna write a book. You're gonna write a journal Somebody's gonna write a book about podcasting or something And our names are gonna come up in that book. So you're certainly Because yeah, you were the uh The bridge to the tunnel kind of you know what I love about our story together is uh, how I had gotten divorced and I've said this before But uh, and no one would talk to me in comedy and I wanted to get back in and you were the only one that reached out

The only one Joey What does that tell you about this town Felicia? Yeah It tells me that people are fucking hungry Whether they really are hungry or emotionally hungry or you know, right now we're living in a time in comedy where We're seeing our friends getting accused of Things that we can't believe you know

Whether it's rape or And we know these people we've been around them been around them for years I mean the lucky thing about you is not to make you look whatever is that You were around for the two big greatest bangs of comedy A lot of people can't say that you guys You know kennison that whole thing you saw and both of them

were both drug and field and sex related both boost were Were you know surrounded around this fucking bag? It was different like when you were saying earlier in the podcast about how you how you sometimes miss how rowdy comedy was or how Unforgiving it was like when you were like being at the store and you know in the middle of the 80s How crazy it was like I fucking miss sometimes I get it. I get it. It can't go on like that But I missed how literally it was like

you know uh Craziness it was just insanity and for the store to have the talent that they had at this last run There had to be a tame of them Yeah, there was too much time at that store from jeremiah walkins to jessica wellington To fucking moses You know, I really really really want you to think of the spectrum of the store as far as talent is concerned

Never mind the bill burr and the dave chapel and the joe rogan's Faheem anwar think about the faheem anwar Faheem anwar think about the fucking black kid that the nice kid that does the the brian simpson brian moses oh brian moses great guy think about you know, you think about the spectrum Think about the people that were just coming up brian simpson annie letterman who just had on like to see annie letterman man Check the last year has been phenomenal to see her fucking so you look at that spectrum

To control that thing you had to have management there When the inmates ran the asylum there was talent down there But there was a lot of bad talent down there. Yeah, there was more bad talent than what was good talent And when this organization came in they told those people Don't come around here no more Because mitzi Had created when I was the host there on sunday nights There were 60 guys from the kennison days that were out there every night

And they were just looking him back. You're just making yourself look bad go home Go home your time came It went right except it Do something else move on so hard. It's hard, but it isn't hard right now. I'm at the crossroads of my life right now And i'm 57 and i'm like When by the time we get to do stand-up again, where am I really gonna be? You know, let me tell you something. I mean, i'm not talking about you. You you look beautiful I know that this three-month pandemic has put

Four years of wind damage on my face. I feel the same way. I'm telling you right now that I saw pictures of friends of mine on facebook I'm like We've aged that much in three months. Yeah once this slows down And the pandemic goes away. Well on age, but we're aging Triple at the amount right now because of the way we're living. Yeah, because it's stressful. We're living. I'm loving living healthy I'm drinking fucking water. I'm doing all the right stuff but Our minds are getting

Weird, you know, I don't even know where I was going. I just think because it's so uncertain right now It's so uncertain. You know if you are a bless where you don't have to worry for your own safety or your own needs you It's you are completely You know full of empathy for people that are going through so much like think about all the young comics or a lot of people are Moving out of town a lot of people, you know I don't have means and and it's it's unsettling like what what's gonna happen two months from now What's gonna happen? You know, as a matter of fact when this podcast hits

We'll be out of here I know but I mean Felicia you Joey just said he went through both booms, but you also Work went through being one of the biggest comics in the country to not to not doing it for a long time And working your way back to the comic store. So you like Joey was like you were just saying you don't know what's gonna happen He just Felicia's proof that you can

Not be on stage and then get back on comedy is a journey. Yeah Life might shift though. Come he's gonna shift Comedy might shift comedy might do a lot of stuff But uh, I'm just happy we were part of beauty and the beast Thank you. I was part of the comedy store with you and I was happy that you gave me advice in 94 And look over at 26 years later It was still friends and I love you to all my heart. Love you too

And I'm happy you can make it on for the you're the last guest Of the church or what's happened now get the fuck out of here really? We're just gonna do A wrap-up. I'm gonna leave him a gem Next week we're gonna surprise him And uh, that's it leaves and I go to Milwaukee I'm going to New Jersey and you're going to New York. So we will be gone real quick Before I get out of here. I don't want to forget nothing to nobody Remember the church podcast today is brought to you by stamps.com as we slowly adjust to a new normal

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A four-week trial plus free postage and digital scale No long-term commitments or contracts. It's easy. Go to stamps.com Click the microphone at the top of the homepage And press in church that stamps.com Press in church stay healthy cocksuckers. The church is also brought to you by honest.com Listen, you know me when it comes to shroom tech Sport I love that stuff when it comes to alpha brain I love it when I cut when it comes to the new mood

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You keep the product. All right. Any company that does that they're good with me Go to honest.com right now and press in church and get 10% delivered right to your motherfucking house That's it. And that's that the next church podcast will be lee and myself Failed welling you motherfuckers But for today felicia michaels is our last guests and I love you Oh, I fucking love you guys

Good luck everybody. I love you guys. Yep. Good luck to you motherfuckers And we'll see you monday morning Tip top magoo kick this motherfucking mule lee You