Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - A special announcement four years in the making

Episode Date: August 20, 2024

This week on The Check In Joey Diaz talks with Lee Syatt about how he has changed as a person in the four years since The Church ended, Lee's first NYC apartment, how long Joey would last at Comicon, a very special announcement, and much more! Support the show and get 20% off your first Liquid I.V. order. Press in code JOEY at ⁠https://www.liquidiv.com⁠  Support the show and try BlueChew for free. Just pay $5 shipping. Press in code JOEY at ⁠https://www.bluechew.com⁠  This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try and get on your way to being your best self at ⁠https://www.betterhelp.com/diaz⁠

the down with food delivery, you're gonna be killing Mexicans. That's three fucking flights a day for the poor guy from the deli or the Mexican joint. I told you, I know you should get a pogo stick. Like the pogo stick was. Or a trampoline on the side of the fucking building so you could just boy on and land right in your balcony that you said you could land right in your balcony I could yeah, actually, but here the thing is is I feel like what if I missed Then you're on jackass

What is your jackass and we make money that way, you know saying even while you're in the hospital bandaging up You'll be getting checks from jackass and funny you die and YouTube We'll make a fucking small million. I promote that thing 20 million more than cat Williams on fucking club. Shae Shae. Oh Yeah, if there's a video of me fucking bouncing on a trampoline and then missing my my balcony and just falling all the way Five stories of the ground behind will find the hidden footage from the zip line And we'll put them together. It'll be like a fucking America's funniest home videos Lisa yet. How was your weekend, brother? My weekend was it was great. I loved being with Jesus Comedically, it was a little rough like Wednesday. I had a great show. It went like really fantastic. And then I had a, like Thursday and Friday

were a little rough for me. Just, I just, you know, I just couldn't figure it out. And I get, it got better every show. Yeah, I went up, it was a two man show. Yeah, that's you. You're having a hard time with that. And that's, that's understandable. Let me ask you a question.

What was our plan in the beginning of the summer? To be the king of this area? Nope. What's that then? To get your own room. Yes. That is the most important thing in the world at your level right now.

It's the first thing on my list in New York. I want you to go up on stage first and get used to fucking dealing with that. On the podcast, on the church, which is over four years this weekend, when we shut it down, we'll talk about that later. Okay. I stressed the gift of MCing. It was like I talked about it with everybody. And I figured out even my struggles,

like when I was in comedy the first fucking year, I was going up to a fucking warm room, a cold room warm. And I didn't have the skills. I would bomb every warm. And I didn't have the skills. I would bomb every week. And I thought it was the material and I would stay up nights and write five new minutes of material. And that wasn't it.

And I tried going out to music and that wasn't it. That lightened them up a little bit. But it was brutal for me until I saw what I was, instead of running from it, like most people do, like, I'm featuring tonight. Okay. You just run for it. It's just not what we want to do. We want that amount, that extra 25 bucks. And that's why I tell you having your own room once a week, committing to it Tuesday night, like a Shiba. You know, and by now she was burnt on it, right? You get burnt out on it. But let me tell you something, for a year, if you go up twice a week first, the education, it's a college

education. It's a college education. Because what happens to guys like you is before the show starts, you take a peek outside show starts you take a peek outside. When you take a peek outside the curtain, that's the worst thing a comic could do. Really? Yeah. I never look outside. You ever see me look outside when I get to a place? I don't think you do. Blow smoke outside.

Yeah. I don't give a fuck. I do not. Because when I used to look at the audience, I would size them up and I was always wrong Okay, I was wrong 99 out of 100 when I first started if I saw a guy that looked like me with white hair I'd panic Lee yeah shit my pants. Oh, there's four white guys with white hair. You're not gonna like me. Don't look out there It's like when the girl goes

I'm gonna give you a piece of pussy for the first time and you're in a hotel or hot and sticky and she comes out A shower for the first time and she shows you that fucking monkey as she walks out That's it. You want that feeling. I don't ever want the feeling that I know that my I look and I go, oh, there's a bachelorette party in the front row. I'm dead. Right. Yeah, that definitely happens. Or you go, I'm going to just bachelorette them to death and you go away from your material. And it's a mediocre set, but you made them laugh. But the rest of the audience got alienated. Right. Oh, there's so much.

And then like even going up first, people are getting seated when you're on stage. And like that. They're ordering. Yeah. They're ordering meals. They're thinking about what cocktail they want. They're wondering if they turned the oven off at their house. They wonder if they put the alarm on. That's when you start to panic

before that light goes off at five to eight. Everything comes into your mind. Oh my God, tomorrow, you know, as you do that second shot with your friends, you're like, tomorrow I got to go to church at 9 a.m. You know, so you got to take them out of that. You got to come out of that. And there's only one way to take them out of it is by getting their attention. That's very smart. Okay. But you said like the music didn't work so like getting their attention. Music worked. The music worked especially if I went in front of a black audience. Okay. Black music kind of like BT Express was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like,

I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was maybe a year after I became the house MC and I stuck to it like I stuck to it like it was my Favorite night of the week going to the store and hosting on Sunday nights And was that for the micro? Regular show the pros I did both of them But I enjoyed the pros because if not, you have to walk up and down every three fucking minutes

Moving into your building, you know what I'm saying? I fucking walk up and down every three minutes. That's too much. The open micers don't listen. They don't listen. They have their own priority. Not that I would tell them what to do, but I would say simple things like, hey man, don't touch the mic. It's fucked up tonight. First thing these cocks up is do is touch the mic Right and they bomb and they blame it on the mic Why did you touch the fucking mic? I just told you the mic is fucked up, you know Right, but I'm away from that position Everybody wants the headline

Everybody wants to be Johnny Gumba, but unless you know how to MC you'll never really learn how to headline And now you look at Dave Chappelle all these guys love to go out there and bring up comics it's fucking great It's a completely different thing and I have to say like hey Zeus if anyone's watching and hasn't watched Jesus Trey. Oh to say like Jesus, if anyone's watching and hasn't watched Jesus Trejo, he's like only a couple years older than me, but it just has so much knowledge. And like we sat down after the first night, we sat down for a while and he like talked me through things and gave me some tips and it got better every show thanks to him. But it was was you're right. It's it's completely different and it's Something that i'm like it's like the by far the weakest part of my my act I guess or my like me being a comic So now is we have to think like an athlete

And work on that weakness and anytime you go to any of these bar shows just go like I want to go up first not because I want to destroy and fuck you guys up, but because I'll host I'll host I'll go up there Do a minute in between everybody and it's all new material When you're hosting you're improvising, you know, that was fucking spectacular You know that was fucking spectacular

The guy let his feet on fire, you know, whatever it's always you learn how to fucking maneuver It's a it's a great world to really conquer. I'm real confident about my stand-up because of that Because of that because I know I could just go up cold and I don't give a fuck. I could just go up there and just fight through the first three minutes. But how does that relate to you when you're headlining now or if you're on a showcase? I know you obviously can, but how do you... Because when you headline now, you headline in a rush.

Okay. You're in a rush. You don't have the confidence you You don't have and there's something else like the confidence but the ability to pause it down, to slow it down. It just with a with a not season and I tell you this because I went through it. Mm-hmm. I went through it. I went on the road to headline in 2005, and it was a fucking disaster. The confidence was there, but the skill was not. Something I said to Jesus was, like, he

was amazing at just going where they took him. Like, he just addressed certain things in the room. I loved, like, he would talk to the audience a little bit and like he didn't he didn't force his material at all Explain it to him You know, uh It's timely It's time and this is it this every six months you'll find a hole in your game and you fill it And every six months you fill it, you know the first two years of comedy i just went up there and talked shit never had a notebook didn't

think i knew wow always thought that something was going to come out of the sky and touch me while i was up there what i learned was how to bomb gracefully you learn how to bomb gracefully. You learn how to bomb gracefully. For a year you bomb like, fuck you guys, you guys suck, you didn't take your sense of humor pills, you know what? It's all your stupid little fucking excuses, but after years, you find out that it's not working. Let me go with that thing. What are they thinking right now? That I'm a fucking bum. Who is this guy? So let's play with him Right. Oh what I'm really not a comedian tonight. They just called me last minute Yeah, just start fucking with them and

God knows where it'll take you Let's get this fucking party started on it Tuesday morning August the 20th What's happened you savages it's Tuesday the 20th of August The check-in is brought to you by liquid IV We all love a few cold ones at the pool But if you're trying to actually stay hydrated this summer you need liquid IV listen It's been a hot summer and if you're not hydrating you're working out you're sweating it's not good liquid IV tastes great and gives your body what it needs

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What up mook? I? Had a guy I had a great week. Like today was honestly one of the best days Like I'm gonna remember it forever. Like I got my keys to my first New York apartment I'm so excited and yet I love that you're for that you're giving me shit for the four stories and it does suck He's never came up to after you signed the lease so I knew there was a by the way here Hey, I do I went back. It was a crazy thing cuz I was there last week teasing your brother I know I know I do I love that you tease me. I'm not mad at you at all It's if I if you weren't teasing me, I think something was wrong. I'm like, are you okay?

Did you go to the doctor? I hope that it all works out, you know, I hope you don't have a rope on the side You know, that's the other thing you can put a rope on the side like Batman and climb up and work on your upper body Hey, listen, there's always a positive here the beat. You know what I'm saying? You can't look at it. What I wanted to talk to you about was today is four years since I moved here. That's wild, four years, okay. Now you left a couple days before me.

You left that Friday. You left like eight or something. And it was two lonely days when I it was weird and Then I got up I had all these weapons accumulated so Our boy came over I gave him like ten machine guns and handguns and shit And we just went to the airport to Burbank and we flew out of Burbank. And I was sadly, you know, let me tell you something,

let's get back to the story here. It was, that was all fucked up. Like I gotta tell you Lee, I was fucked up at that time. I was so deep in the Edibles, the podcasts, the stand-up. It's hard to explain where I was. And the anxiety was eating me alive. Like the anxiety was fucking, I was doing everything I could just to push through it.

Xanax, coffee, like anything. And it was just feeding my anxiety. And I still remember the night that Terry told me, like we got the house. And I was not happy for like an hour. I was like, that's the end of everything. And I'm like, what do we do here? You were barely walking.

Yeah. That time you were falling asleep on Twitch. I wasn't sleeping. I was up till two, three in the morning at night. And I wouldn't remember the last three hours. Like I would wake up and I ordered flowers and shit like that for people and I It was just wildly I was getting up at seven Running to the computer without giving my mind a charge

At nine o'clock. I was already on the phone with you 01 I was on the phone with you every morning. And then the second call was my agent and manager. Like what the fuck is going on today? Like I was, it was wildly. And the pandemic came and I was happy. What kept us alive was doing that podcast with the mask on. And it was fucking insane. It was really insane looking back at it now and just getting to tell you that listen We're wrapping this up And it was very hard to not bring you with me like it was very fucking hard But I knew we were just gonna land here and keep going

Until right. I I always knew that At that time I felt like shit the pandemic was starting to make me feel better. I was sleeping a little bit. I Was home you'd have to go to the store. You didn't have anything to do basically except go to the podcast room and get high We wore masks but we still got fucked up fucking ketamine It was just You know, and I and I still remember like feeling bad Like what am I gonna do with lead like what the fuck but we're gonna kill each other Either i'm gonna die on him in a podcast room

Or that poor kid's gonna die on me. He's asking me not to take him to the is he in the hospital? That that was a Different night the the the the the In what way? Like I didn't leave. When I first got to Jersey, I think it was a Tuesday maybe or a Monday or something. I basically left that apartment.

We had like a corporate apartment. And I basically went just to jump in the pool. I would swim. There was no weights. There was no kettlebells. There was no punching bag. I would just swim, swim, swim. The only thing that saved me in Somerset was the food. I just got off and everything was open in Jersey. I was getting mussels, I was getting pizza. It was fucking phenomenal

over there, the food, the bagels in the morning, I was going to this bagel place. And it took me about five days to finally drive up north. I had no idea where I was going They taught me how to use that driving app I Remember the first night I went up there. I got pulled over first night Cop pulled me over and he's because I saw I was looking at the phone for directions I didn't know you you left it in there and it talked to you over to speak. I didn't know any of that shit I never had those things. I always had a map, you know I'm saying right

But I got pulled over and he started laughing when he saw me and I go I wasn't on the phone I just moved back and I don't know how to get directions I'll never forget within five minutes. There were six cop cars on the side of the road and I'm taking pictures with them and talking with them and I'm like, this is fucking crazy. The craziness hasn't stopped. It followed me here. Well, even on top of the craziness, like the thing that I'm even going through right now in a similar way is how quickly it happened. Like we moved in August and I think we made that decision in June.

Something like it, like what most of it was two months. Yeah. It was, yeah, it was like a month, maybe a month and a half of like your entire life changed. You packed up the house. We packed up the podcast studio. Like you, you got rid of a car. You found a house without even, you didn't even step inside of your house.

What did you do? I sent my brother to come down here and take a look. He's an inspector up in North Bergen. And I sent them down here to take a look at it. And that was it. He told me, you're gonna like the house. It's solid. It's just so quick.

Like change that quick is tough. Like, oh my God. When I got here, I don't want to do anything. And I remember saying, I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything.

I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't want to do anything. I don't called now my guys. I don't want to do anything And I remember sitting here fucking depressed for two months Like two months not doing anything lifting weights God knows what I was doing Smoking dope. I was going up a lot and I was basically going up there dropping 100 bucks to come home.

Like I was just going up north just to get out of here and eat. And I found myself at like 320 fucking pounds and I'm like that's it. And then one night I went to a party and I was eating edibles, the ABXs and I ate those hash pills. Remember the hash pills? 10 to a box. We used to get like eight of them and at dinner I was falling asleep and my wife, Joey, that's it. We just got here. At that time, I think I landed on the 20th and on the 24th or the 25th. I had like a minor heart attack Really? Yeah Like two weeks later and they're like it was still in your blood you had something and I'm dog it was the worst

I thought I was gonna die one night And I was I T anxiety my heart was pounding out of my chest I'm eating Xanax to try to fucking control it. It's not working And then Fanny called me and she's like what you consider doing a podcast and I'm like, I Don't fucking know. I can't even talk. I couldn't even look at the camera. If you look at those podcasts I was not myself At all, then I got the knee surgery Mm-hmm. You know, I basically got the knee surgery because I had so much fucking anxiety. I just went down there one day

And got a surgery. I just went down there like on a Thursday. He checked out my knee and He goes we could do it January 8th and I was like do it. He told me like two weeks before three weeks before and I remember chickening out I was like I'm not gonna go down there and it was a Saturday and they wanted me to do the blood test the whole fucking pre thing mm-hmm now I'm fucking petrified of Colbert at the time yeah and I get down there and I'm sitting there and I'm like, I'm going to die in here.

I'm just going to die. And there's 80 people in here waiting for fucking surgery. And I was just about to go, Lee, and a guy came in. But I resembled a lot. Not looks, but fatness and big. And he came in and he couldn't even walk he had a he was my age all right and he had already a like a walker kind of oh wow do you know Lee this motherfucker pushed it in front of the nurse and in the desk like when they

called his name he walked up he fucking picked up the thing and he sat around it he opened it up was a cooler He took a beer out and then sat on the cooler with the fucking B and they said something to him Guy couldn't walk he had already like giving himself up to life like he couldn't even walk And I'm like, I don't want to walk in here like that guy ten years from now With a fucking stroller and I just push it lift up the thing and it's a fucking beer keg. I'm like, oh my god That does sound crazy. But no, no, you don't want to do that No, and I fucking went over there and I was like, you know like a week later And I'll never forget my wife driving me. She couldn't come in with me. It was Colbert

Jesus and I'm like this this is not going to work because I don't do anything without my wife. She's the fucking calming force behind the Cuban. When I start going off, she always controls me and says, Joey, relax him. And that was brutal. And I still remember I was on the operating table. I was ready to get operated on Lee and the most humiliating thing that could happen to a man happen When they shot me with all that pain shit my dicks Shrunk. Oh No, so I had a pee and they're like well, we'll put a catheter in your hole once you pass out I'm like, no, you're not

I'm gonna pee right here and they gave me Who was holding the pee can was a woman who was just beautiful, a young girl. And she had to hold the calf for that while I'm trying to fit my dick. I can't even find my dick. I can't even find it. Somewhere in there, it's like I did a pound of coke. It was somewhere in there. Oh my God.

And I had to pee and she kept, I'm trying to make eye contact with her so she won't get my dick. I think I passed out just from the embarrassment. Oh my god, and I had a pee and she kept trying to make eye contact with us. I think I passed out just from the embarrassment. I woke up. I woke up. My fucking leg was on fire. Oh, Lee, that was some of the toughest. And then when I was the night in the hospital was when I started having those palpitations connected and they called the doctor The nurses came running in like midnight And they're like what's going on with your heart? What's going on with your heart?

And I go, I don't know. This isn't good. I remember had weed in the back Because I thought I was gonna sneak downstairs and get high at some point And I had growing papers a lighter, but they wouldn't even let me off the fucking floor. I'm like god damn it And I'm watching like three channels. I'm dying and they came in they calm me down They shot me with something but the doctor on duty. Mm-hmm Kept looking at me weird Spanish guy from Spain

Okay, kept looking at me weird. He knew something that I didn't And he left and he came back and he goes here's my card. Do me a favor. Call me on Monday And I must have called him three days later and he's like I've been thinking a lot about you Can you just come in here? I want to check you out. I didn't have a heart doctor at the time or any And I went to see this guy. He was far. He was like an hour away And I basically went they drew blood they did all that shit And I had to go back a week later and one was sitting there the not even the doctor knew this the girl Said to me

What's going on with you is you're withdrawing? from Benzos Whoa, okay talking about and she broke it down to me She told me what book I had to read and all this stuff and how to start my diet and change it around I Must have bought a thousand bucks and fucking pills to help me like with the feeling because the feeling is horrible. And there was only one thing that really helped me new mood. Really? When I'm one of those chat rooms and somebody said, try new mood from honor to calm you down. And new mood was calming down my withdrawal. Not a lot. A little a lot like I would have withdrawals in the morning. I would be good all day and about fucking 1 o'clock

my life would change after the gym after everything and I had to get the Xanax just to fucking cut in half and take it at certain times and when I called better help Those are the first people I called On it. They're great. And then I told Fanny about him and that's how I got better help. That's how it all worked out I didn't always in that order because I was actually just about to ask you cuz like you told me this some of it like Some of this is new to me, but you told me maybe like Eight ten months in there for like the first and seem like at least six months

You were having a real rough time And like you didn't really tell me that during when it was happening Because I couldn't even describe it. I couldn't sit in a room with people The only thing that I was finding to be calming was going to the softball field And I would just sit there When there was a game or just you like to do it because it was calm. Sit there for my daughter's practices. And then I started going every night at six, just to watch Little League.

Cause I was outside, I would take my shoes off and I would put my feet in the grass. Oh, I love that. To fucking get my balance back. It took a year for me to get my balance back, man. And I remember in this, I did comedy. I was doing comedy. Mm-hmm, and it was horrible

It was horrible because I was so trapped in my withdrawal That I couldn't tap into anything like once I had a joke and they bombed like that was it There was no comeback. There was no quickness and I'm like I can't do I can't do this No, this is not working. And these are all the reasons why like Here's what happened. I was like fuck I can't get on stage if I'm not gonna be able to because I could always get on stage with no material and rock The boat for 30 minutes, maybe one night get lucky. I wasn't even doing that way. I was struggling I Was struggling man, and what do you think turned it around?

We just took time. Like, okay, okay. So we got here September of 20, right? 2020? Yeah. 2020. You moved into the new house. Yeah, on September 2nd, we got here August 20th. And then I rehabbed the knee, and I was starting to feel better. And I got a call from Sean. And he was like, you got to come to Jiu Jitsu. And I'm like, this kid's fucking crazy

Just insane and he kept calling me going I don't want money I Just think it's good if you come in here and move around you might like it. I Called him like in July and I go let's do it and I canceled I Really just I said let's do it and I canceled again And I was like man I gotta get my life together. And I fucking called him in September and he goes alright let's do it this Wednesday. And it was September 21st. It was the day The Sopranos was premiering at the Beacon Theatre.

It was on a Tuesday night or something. I went in there and did a private with him. And that was the first time I had touched somebody since COVID. Wow, that was the first time you got, and not even touched them. You were super close when you're rolling. Super close.

I was petrified. I couldn't breathe. I could only do like two hip escapes. It was fucking God-awfully. But I was like, you know, when I got up after that hour I felt alive again I Kind of felt good. I'm like, oh and then I went to the premiere and there was 3,000 people in there and everybody Everybody had to wear a mask in the movie theater and I'm sitting here watching this movie that I've seen ten times already With three thousand fucking people and I'm like I'm sitting here watching this movie that I've seen 10 times already with 3000 fucking people and I'm like I'm gonna die

I'm definitely getting COVID today It's funny cuz you're such a positive person but then they are like spiral like that I would see 10 people I'm like I'm getting COVID Like it's all over And I don't get I didn't get COVID till that December And I didn't get it at Jiu-Jitsu. I got out of the restaurant Yeah, that's why that's what I'm just gonna say. I remember the first time I saw like a full restaurant It was in Florida. It was it did freak me out a little bit. That's right You're the one that called me you went down there you walked into a restaurant. It was 200 people and you were like, holy shit I'm not really used to it to me, but it took the pandemic took that whole period. It wasn't even the pandemic

I gotta stop saying that it was just that time period in your life. Yeah that the pandemic woke me up a lot and once I moved here to help me accept my role as a father. Like it really, I started seeing other dads and the way people work. And there's a small community here. They have a farmer's market. You know, they have the sports, they do a field day here. They do, they try really hard and it's beautiful The town is beautiful and that's what settled me in and then I started loosening up a little bit and

But manly I looked back at that time like that one of the darkest times of my fucking life Dark like that was dark. I had to stop talking to people like I had to cut all communication off with a lot of people. Not what I wanted to do. I don't like doing that. But I had to because they didn't really understand what I was going through. I had people that were calling me at eight in the morning asking me what are you doing today? Let's go to a bar at lunchtime. And I'm like, no. During the pandemic, you didn't know whether you got to have school. They would call half days if your kid got sick.

If somebody came in sick into the class, the rest of the class got set home for five days. It was a fucking nightmare. And I'm dealing with this. I'm dealing with my wife. I'm unpacking a house and I'm getting these people calling me fucking fucking and then it was nonstop. And then I can't even imagine, like the first few months I was getting arguments with friends that I knew for 40 fucking years. You know, about anything important or about like these these stupid requests, just requesting like a friend of mine called me and said I stole a picture from him in 1980 Bro are you fucking crazy? I called his brother and his brother goes he's going nuts Leave him alone and it was just like ten people and

It was just breaking my heart little by little. I was like I wasn't seeing my friends to the amount that I would Mm-hmm. I thought I was I came into a world that I thought I knew, and I really did. That world was 35 years ago. That world didn't exist. And that broke my heart for a while, dealing with that. So I'm happy I got it off my chest. I worked it out. And now four years later, listen, I'm four years older.

I took a break from standup and I think that it was the smartest thing anybody could ever do. I have a lot of options now. I have options to end it after the garden or keep going, you know. But this is it. This was, it wasn't what people thought. And I talked about on the Theo podcast. That podcast almost killed the stock. And people should know that. Like we were fucking going, you know, it was 3000 milligrams a day.

It was five Xanax's a day, you know, or a fucking, you know, whatever, mushrooms. There was a fucking half pound the mushrooms in my closet for a while Would that have been there with or without the podcast though No, it was I didn't know who was gonna come on the podcast when I needed to torture you I was coming to Lee's house and giving them these tubes. Remember those tubes you were drinking that taste. Yeah They're like vials from a scientist yeah, they would I was drinking two of those a day can a bx's a Cookie not to mention eight expressos ten expressos a day regular coffee

The mental I don't want to call it a mental stress, but you have to yeah listen comedy Is always going to be 70% mental And I don't know if I'm even saying the percentage is right. I could be off by 5% or 10%. And that's why I tell people, like Sundays, get your rest. Especially after you did five shows. Because your feet might be tied, your back might hurt from sitting on the plane.

But what's wounded the most is your brain. It's rattled. It's rad People and you get all this stuff after the show you're taking pictures. You're talking to people that moves quick And you go home at night you put your feet up and you go. What the fuck was that? and On top of that not only did I have the road had a thing called the comedy store Right at the time was fucking booming. You'd walk in there and it'd be like walking into a fucking festival. You saw it. It was

like walking into a fucking festival. It was one of the best times. I can't even imagine. I think what I just realized when you were talking about everything is when when everything is mental because you like you're a very positive person and like all the shit you say but it's not like it's not like you have to ignore that stuff is happening but you you always talk about overcoming it like yeah of course there's gonna be mental stuff going on but it's like you can't pretend like it life is perfect all the time Now but uh

It's so weird when you're an MC your stress and bombing When you're a feature you're stressing a manager What are you gonna do next? Well, how you gonna get seen? How you gonna get booked? It's always a mental stress and then when you become a headliner, my problem was I cared a lot as a headliner. I had bombs so long that now I wanted to go, it's like right now. Right now I could be doing comedy, it just doesn't appeal to me because I Don't have that set if I had that set you'd be done right now

Right when we discuss this it's after you do comedy 20 years Your set becomes a little weird because you go to your comfort zones and now is the time to get out of your comfort zones I didn't know this somebody mentioned to me that this is why all the comics get into politics I didn't know this somebody mentioned to me that this is why all the comics get into politics They get into political comedy because they don't want to they have already exploited their personal life and I feel the same way now It's like when I tell you what I'm gonna talk about nobody wants to hear about me and my 11 year old daughter They don't want to hear about that shit, you know, but I'll figure it out Yeah, and as long as but yeah comedy is is mental, brother. It's physical when you go on stage, energy, but a lot goes into it. Five shows are headlining, five-hour sets,

pictures. And that's why towards the end I had to cut out shit. Because it's overwhelming. I cannot take pictures till 10 o'clock and then be on stage at 10 15 No you understand Everything is mental like would you say After like everything you just talked about or like the past four years. Do you think you're a different person? obviously some parts are the same but Absolutely. Listen, I still love to eat my mushrooms I still like to do my bong hits I haven't taken a Xanax in two and a half years and it was funny because I'm done with drawing the program she drew for me she wanted me to keep taking a little Xanax every day so you

wouldn't get a, because what happens with Xanax is when you get off, it's like alcohol, you could die. Damn. I was taking a blood pressure medication that they give people when they get off Xanax. So that helped a lot, that medication, not to let me get a stroke or something, there's something. But once I cut that little last piece off, because at one time I was taking a piece in the morning and a piece at night, and I realized that I was fine. So I took the piece in the morning, that by 1 o'clock, 2 o'clock, that's

when my world would flip up. And then at night, I needed the Xanax to fall asleep. So I had to learn how to get off the Xanax and learn how to fall asleep naturally And now I'm having a better time. I'm not taking Xanax. I take another Like a prescription medication, but it ain't Xanax Right. It's a lot of people have trouble sleeping. I think that's I think that's pretty normal. But now it's it's a lot of like today I took Sunday. I think oh my god, Lee

I slept like eight hours son Saturday night. I want to I want the two jujitsu's I've never done that I Went to the 1130 class and I stayed for no ghee for the first time ever. I got mauled You know, I learned a few things. It was great, but I knew That Sunday Monday were gonna be rough. I fucking knew it because I had worked out all week. Sunday I didn't do dick. Sunday I took a two and a half hour nap Sunday afternoon. And every time I go to get up, I look at the cat and she'd go, nah.

And we'd cuddle. Yeah. I'm sleeping a lot better. The quality of life that I'm living is a lot better. I have my mental is Fucking a hundred fifty percent better and then anxiety was gone. The anxiety I had was from unhappiness It was anxiety Wow The unhappiness stressed me out I was sick and tired of waking up to pee at three in the morning and thinking about that date I took

and how it was a mistake. I was asleep, but I really wasn't. I was thinking in my sleep. So I'd wake up fucking, you know, out of it, you know. So I just had to learn how to do things differently and it was great. And it's been great for me, man.

I'm a different person. Absolutely. I'm a different person. I saw what I didn't like that I was doing. Too many videos. The world could move on without me. At some point, you in your mind think that they need that video from you And you see it all the time people just put up videos every day. They're not even promoting a date now

They just might be about something you're like go you're just killing yourself to live get off that fucking Get off that fucking thing But it's not once a week. It's every fucking day And I was falling into that trap I was falling into a lot of traps because the era of comedy had changed it was very What do you call that shit it was very Desperate you're gonna wow You gotta do this now, you know, they really want you they don't want me they don't want me

Why are you lying to me? So I had to cut that out of my life and I did and I and now I look at The internet what other comics are doing and I saw I can't fault them Cannot fault them because I was doing the same fucking thing Well, and speaking of this because I was gonna ask you anyways you mentioned it a Week after like having a week to like process what happened at Madison Square Garden. How are you feeling about that? Well, not only was Madison Square Garden a big issue last week But it was also like I had a bunch of shit happen this week mentally.

It was also, I think Wednesday or Thursday was 36 years that I got sentenced to prison. Whoa. And that always hits me a little weird. Like that always goes, wow, what was I thinking? Every year I go, wow, what was I thinking back then? And this year was a lot easier because it took 36 years for me to get to the garden

Yeah, that's and that's what that badass happened like the week of I guess so it was like So one part of me is like, you know what? That's the way to end the career At the garden move on go out with the fucking bang But then the other part of me listen, I'm 61 and I ain't dead yet and I'm busy now, but not as busy as I like to be These fucking idiots, oh, I don't understand it. I don't understand it. Why at night all fucking day? All fucking just a mess with you the old day they had to fucking text me and now they want to text me

Anyway, let's take a breather. I gotta read something to you from better help. We'll be right back guys What's happening beautiful people uncle Joey here this episode is brought to you by better help now listen How old days are coming? You know money's tight. There's an election. You gotta make more time for yourself Are you just important to your wife and your kids better helps online therapy teaches you to prioritize yourself? So you don't burn out like I did. That's why I love better help You don't burn out like I did. That's why I love better help It's a hundred percent online so you could do your therapy from home from your car. Whatever works for you Listen, it's been about a year since I haven't been with better help and I'll tell you what I still use their exercises

I still use their techniques I still look at my notes and it really helped me a lot and they can help you too and getting started is really easy You take a quiz about why you're signing up for therapy and what you hope to get out of it Better help will match you with a licensed therapist and you'll be on your way to feeling happier All right, never skip a therapy day with better help visit better help comm slash Diaz to get 10% off Your first month that's better help help.com slash Diaz

This episode is brought to you by better help give online therapy a try and get on your way to being the best Version of you now back to the show We're back bitches anyway Contact better help if you feel the way I did during the pandemic or afterward I'm using it. I love it. I had a lot of issues I really didn't I never knew and you never feel like you need to talk about them and that's the first time in my life But I finally came down to listen. I've always had issues With the addiction the fucking mom dying. There's always been an issue. You know, you always have something going up,

but you attack the ones that are, I just wanted to get that feeling out of my heart anymore. That was it. And I got a lot to be grateful for. I got a great family. I got a great house. I left my ass off here. Very low key.

We're very low key, Lee, very low key. Nobody even knows I'm in this fucking town. You know, and I really enjoy it. I sit on my balcony, I get high, not outside, sometimes. But I sit out, ever since I got attacked by the raccoon, I don't get comfortable. And then I come back. I haven't seen him.

But my wife said she saw two of them in the yard. Then I go out in the yard in the mornings. But I got a hornet's nest on my fence. So I could see them. You know what? They don't bother me. And I don't bother them. So we're both on the same fucking page here.

You're not going to go over there with one of those spray things and attack the hornet nest I'm a Buddhist let them live you don't sting me I won't go over there and spray this fucking chemicals on you we're cool and we learned to fucking live together and everybody's happy speaking of living together when are we gonna cancel cable the only reason I have it at my place is because of my mom there's no reason to have it anymore I actually not the actual cable box Well, who has a cable box, you know, you have the fucking thing that you change the channels, whatever but

Obviously, that's a cable box. You're right. You got me there. I Just saw another movie coming out April August something They made like a bunch of movies. Nobody wants to see oh, yeah It's either movies you don't want to see they made that movie with Elvis and the fucking Hardy as bikers from Chicago listen I like a nice biker movie, but I don't want to see a bike from 1930 and the chick was horrible I mean everything that's come out. It's like Nothing is in the movies you and I have discussed is how much we enjoy the movies and

Going to P.f. Chang's and getting some fucking soup and then shoot right into the movies to smoke on a number That fucking thing is dead. And I mean TV is dead. I'm watching I'm watching shows. I've watched three times Really? You're just watching shows now just we watching shows And how like has it gotten bad enough for you to like consider watching any of the Marvel movies like any of that stuff never never

I watch them sometimes of mercy like she likes the ones with Hardy Vixen or whatever the guy is But the Avengers I like Black Panther, I really like Black Panther really I'm surprised. Okay. Yeah, but everything else You know, it's I'm not gonna put it down. It's just not my cup of fucking tea. I like movies with substance. I like a good love story. You know, Rocky's a love story.

Oh yeah. You know, I enjoy movies, but the thing that's really killing me is just sitting at home at night has been really starting to take its toll on me. Thank God I do things. I look up things, I research things, I go on DraftKings, I play the casino, you know. I read, I fucking make charts, I clean out notebooks.

I do a ton of shit at night, you know. But Jesus Christ, you sit down at night, you know, know eight o'clock looking because I don't watch tv at seven No, why not? I don't put the tv on to laughter rate because seven o'clock is still fucking jeopardy I feel like an old man. So I don't want why I don't even want to be in that jeopardy hemisphere yet Makes me feel too much like a fucking death. I got a blanket on my knees and i'm just sitting there waiting for the bomb to drop Fucking dad. I got a blanket on my knees and I'm just sitting there waiting for the bomb to drop. Oh Yeah, when you watch jeopardy, you just waiting for a bomb to drop you waiting for that. I ran somebody Knock on your shoulder and go it's over good. You don't like to guess the answers

I'm always wrong I'm always wrong, but then you said well, my wife could fuck and win all the jeopardy questions, but she'll forget her phone here Any questions, you know I'm saying Everybody who knows jeopardy don't know dick about life. Look at those people in jeopardy. Like if you said to them, you know If somebody called you from Africa, don't give me a bank information. They'll give it to them Those are the people that give the Africans their banking information They want the five million dollars that was left to them from King frame Under his name, you know because they have no fucking common sense So they went all the you know what Beatles song and they're right there

Fucking Beatles song came out who gives a fuck I'm trying to put two and two together and you want to fuck up with a quiz here. I would love to see you on there. Have you, because you were talking about movies and TV and I know you wrote the book. Have you ever considered writing either of those things? Like is that anything that interests you? Again, I'm a positive guy, but for what?

For what? For what? You don't think you'd write a good one It's a fucking not even listen. I could write a great script about my life Mm-hmm. Yeah, write a phenomenal script about my life But let's be honest with you The book did well and one person reached out, and the deal went under. It's not an easy.

I'd like to be a series, but it's never going to be a series. This can't be a series. This is a movie. You think so? Yeah. This is a movie. If you really think about this in a cat Academy award-winning movie because it's an Academy award-winning script

If you put the right people in the right places This is a great script but at the end it's gonna be an uphill fight to me and then I'm gonna get 20 million to shoot it and then before you go to shoot it they're gonna look at my Twitter and Give me 200,000 now. I gotta hire people for $100 I got a higher water pistol instead of a real pistol. I end up with an alley ball when some guy dead on my set Listen, it's not even I don't want to waste the energy. No No, okay and television right now. Listen, man, They're not look at the shows. They're picking up

Then I'm picking up anything. They shot one pilot last year I'm at a point where I don't even know what was out there. I got that. I don't watch cable I don't know what's on the four channels Fox CBS ABC. I know the Bachelorette's on I always look at white looking dudes dudes with suits on give me some Chinese chick a rose, you know, I see that shit. I Watch a little ESPN, you know, I love my I Don't really love anything anymore like it's not like I've seen everything I Haven't had those on in two years

Like it's been like two weeks. I can't even watch those anymore I just watched the wire for the last time whenever you come we put it on because I know you like it Oh, yeah, I hadn't seen in a while and it was great Television has gone to and everybody I talked to lately is like I'm thinking I can't fucking optimist like $300. Oh It's a wild would they charge me thousand to watch fucking nothing? nothing To get a bunch of political people yelling at each other at two in the morning No wonder these politician people getting croaking crazy

No wonder they're crazy. It's on all fucking day yelling at each other and camila harris and the fucking guy And you're like, you know what? I still got to get up and stab three motherfuckers tomorrow So yeah, Jesus makes a comeback. I can't focus on this. I gotta focus on my family my life Well, Joe, you're not focusing on the future. Who gives a fuck about the future I ran in the Jews are about ready and blow themselves up and fucking drop firecrackers over here. God knows what the fuck's gonna happen here and it's not worth it and like I I brought up the Marvel stuff because Jesus and I went to like a comic-con this weekend. Oh, how was

so Everything in me and Jesus and I were making jokes the whole time There were definitely some I would love to bring you to a comic con. I would like I don't think you'd last three minutes. No, I would not. No, no, we're going there. But when you were just talking about like everything that's on TV and the movies, at least they like like they love it like they were there from like Thursday till till Sunday and

But it was Like the people walking I would just love to see you see people walking around in costume They had to make your own you could build your own lightsaber, which I thought you really like Bill back what? lightsaber from Star Wars What's a lightsaber like the like the blue thing that like Luke Skywalker? Oh, you can build one of those for 200 bucks That's a bargain. I would have done like a But like and then like don't

Have they ever asked you to be a part of one of those conventions? Cuz there were a bunch of like actors there like signing stuff and taking pictures They've asked me Lee. It's like asking me to go to a weed thing. You could ask me. I ain't gonna go. I couldn't see you there. Like listen we've gotten a different culture, the youth of today develop these Comic Cons, and I love them. And I really think it's a great idea. It's not for me. I'm not that deep in entertainment that I give a fuck who's going to be in the next Marvel movie. Like, we're going to unleash this guy, you know, Brian Downey jr. Whatever You know, it's I did it in a couple weeks ago and I got a lot of slack for it about wasting time

Okay adult right You have to live your life, but we teeter I'm wasting time We really do as an Americans and it's part of procrastination sometimes like we're gonna go to comic-con We don't need to do it. It's so many things, you know, I know the comic-con numbers across the country. I've been down Because they're expensive. They're expensive That fucking expensive they take you for everything in those things, you know, and my brother works on Which is a great framer and he does them in California He did it for years this year. He didn't do it. He didn't want to do it You know and that dick listen if you want to dress up and but there's a lot of different people that correct people with like

furries and I didn't see I saw one Group of furries, but it was mostly It was interesting because like some of them were actually pretty cool. Like they actually build their own costumes. And this one was at a casino in Connecticut, great casino, but it's not like, it's not like to the level of San Diego, but like that part was pretty cool. I will say there were some people that like, Hey, Zeus and I were saying like, they just don't what you think I'm going to do, just not leave the house.

And they were just a Little ruffle like they weren't dressed up, but like they were like So some guy was walking around with a shirt off which was and he was he would look worse than I did And he just had the biggest nipples that I ever saw and it's just that there were but there's also like There was some comedy stuff. There's some movie stuff like there were it was cool There was a couple people that Kevin Smith movie clerks. There were a couple people from that Eric Estrada was there. Oh boy You know, I would love to see I know you wasn't there but they were selling his stuff But you know what was pretty cool was the art stuff because like they had people they had like actual like comic book artists like who were there and And one guy was actually critiquing your work if you wanted it.

He would give you advice. And it was just a world I had never seen. You're always in my head with everything that I do. But for that one specific, I wonder ifey would last five minutes here. It's interesting I think that I fucked up by not going and seeing at one time in san diego Right, and that's why I really can't judge it. You know for some people listen, man We're into different things now Young adults are into different things, you know

I see it with my daughter. I learned a lot. Remember when we had Ray Canella on the podcast? Of course. And he quit sci-fi because he saw how his son was watching TV. And that tells you, when you pay attention to your kids, they tell you where it's going. You know, and it's different.

It's different for kids, what they find. You know, they're into anime I don't even know what anime is some Japanese art. I don't fucking know what it is. Yeah anime shirt It's the ugliest shirt I've ever seen in my life With fucking pride Ugliest thing I've seen in my life. I even threatened I go we gotta get you a new one Because this one's giving me optical illusions. It's green. It's yellow It's got squares on it. I'm like, I don't know what this is And I'm not gonna judge it or whatever. No, you know things change for young adults priorities change

When I was 21, I rather be in studio 54 jumping up and down eating quail eggs But for these kids, they'd rather go to a comic-con. It's something positive They go make they smoke their little vapor pens and they think they're walking on the wild side of life and hey It works for them. Oh Yeah, they love it. I couldn't imagine In my deepest deepest being at a table

Dressed in the longest yard costume. Oh No talking about that movie or sitting at the spider-man 2 table and talking about that and it just doesn't suit me and You don't like people come up to me now and ask me about Sam Raimi and You don't like people come up to me now and ask me about Sam Raimi And I'll talk to them because I know they're real Sam Raimi front fans. I love Sam Raimi everything

He's done army of darkness all that crazy shit So, you know, I get it when I saw Sam a couple years ago I almost died I hadn't seen him since spider-man 2 and I saw him at a meeting and he came right over we hugged We go giggled, you know so I get it you know Adam Sandler people they're crazy you know they want to talk to you and I get it I get all that stuff but some of the I like I don't know I don't want to meet anybody like I don't want to go to a line and make somebody's life rougher, you know, it's like the wrestler right, oh, yeah, yeah when they're at the

the VFW and fucking raw way here and There's like eight people and they're selling Polaroids for five bucks. I don't know that's I Knock on wood and I wish I'd never have to be in that position right when you were a kid is there like if they had had that for like Musicians or athletes would you have gone to something like that? movies Definitely. I went I went to Bruce Lee festivals I went to Charles Bronson festivals in the Bronx 30 years ago

They would do a weekend of Charles Bronson. I love all that stuff and what I really enjoy is like martial art places like when I was a martial art place that was called Honda in the city it was a building was a fucking building and it was like six floors and every floor I like punching bags I like that goofy shit you know seeing like different but everything else as a kid. I remember one time we robbed a van. Me and a bunch of kids on Giving That Terrace. We didn't rob a van. There was a van parked on the corner that had been there for like four or five days. Like, what the fuck is this van doing on this corner? So finally one day we looked in the van and it had all you don't even remember this

They had these shirts and you could like press stuff on the shirts like now You don't feel it But in the old days it was a cheap shirt and once you washed it your mother put it on the dryer Everybody had a picture of fire forces on their shirt and once your mother put in the dryer At power force it was everywhere, right? Right? What was I talking about about the van the van so We took the van and we moved it One of the guys was like a hot wire And he moved the van and we put it close to one of our friends houses and we emptied the van

It was t-shirts. It was a press Thousand stickers thousands of boxes of stickers Lee now It was like eight boxes, but each of them had like a thousand in them It was like a you know, like a box like this like an album box and they were all for like to put on t-shirts Yeah, like stupid shit Rolling stones or you know just don't and this is 1975 76 And that Sunday there was something in New York

Like a t-shirt convention and we went over there sold all that shit We saw oh snap. We sold the t-shirts. We sold everything and That one I'm gonna go in there going going what the fuck is this like it was cool It was I don't know where it was. I don't remember Doesn't fucking matter But that was me for conventions and stuff like that. Like look you're going to convention this week. Yeah, I was just thinking about that You all know what? I've been I've been to three of them so far. I'm going to podcast movement and You are you know, I've been I've been to three of them so far I'm going to podcast movement And it's been very interesting. This is the third one

with my day job and it's it's cool to see it from this point of view because it's on the business side of podcasting and to see like I Went there as a podcast and it's really cool and you get to meet podcasters and you get to learn about new technology. But this is the biggest week of the year or one of them. Just for all the business stuff you see, all the groups, all the ads you hear. This is where actual... It's more than us just in your office eating edibles and giggling on Stick'em. It's a real deal. 15 years or whatever it is later, 13 years later, this is a real deal thing now. Podcasts are real. It's cool to be a part of that and get to see what's going on Not as exciting as

Comic-con no costumes. I'm really happy that you're moving here. I can't wait. I'm really happy that You know, you're trying to move on and do different things. I Like to do a podcast in studio. Something fucking, you know, I don't know where to take it. I have a friend that like to use Dennis Calangelo, just give us some more humor in there. I don't know how he'll do it. But yeah, I don't. I really enjoy podcasting. This is fucked up through zoom, but we got our message out and It works. It works for right now and I'm happy that people You know enjoy it whoever does and I understand people move on. I understand all these things. I

Understand more these things than ever I you know, I know what it's like to get a half million downloads I know what it's like to get a half million downloads I know what it's like to get ten downloads, you know, and it doesn't affect what you should be doing in your life. It just When when it's time you're gonna get a hundred thousand on all of those when you blow up everybody's gonna watch that shit So right now you just keep on making videos, but podcasting has gone somewhere different now Mm-hmm and look at us two five years ago. We couldn't zoom a podcast It would be acceptable No, and but it's really cool, but I do I'm excited

To do to be in studio again, whatever it looks like, you know It's just I think this has been a blessing because I love getting I mean we talk all the time anyways But I love getting to like sit down for like an hour and talk to you and like learn from you and laugh But there's definitely Something different about being in studio for sure Well, the energy's there. Like I said, I don't want to put guests on because they slow us to fuck them I'd rather add a dimension to it and we just go fucking off. This guy has the same craziness in his head like I do. And you know, I'm looking forward to you moving here. I think that's what I needed also. You know, I'm going to be 62 in February.

I don't want to work forever. But I tell you what, Lee, for about a year I was feeling like I was going to die in this basement. Oh, fuck, yeah. Like, I'm not going to die in this basement. I'm not going to die in this basement. I'm not dead yet. No. In fact, I'm more alive than ever right now.

I just have to take my energy and put it towards somewhere. And that energy, I don't know what, whether it's adding three chapters to the book, whether it's finished writing this project with Steve Simone that I really want to do about Barnabas and St. Michael and Mary Magdalene. It might be being on stage, you know, like I told my agents this week, I can't do two shows in the night. Okay. That ship sailed for me to focus now. I have to do one and give you fucking everything I got so there's no misunderstandings You know, I'm not doing it for quality. I'm not doing it for quantity this time. I'm doing it for quality

Any like I was thinking about How you like you see you said you took a break you took a break from a lot of stuff for a while like it's almost like when you have you ever heard like with it when you have like an allergy to food they make you basically take everything out of your diet and then like slowly put stuff back in to see what works and like that that it seems like that's what you're starting like you've never really moved fat like that's what you're starting to do you're putting you put stand-up in for a while and then like, you know You're gonna put writing in and you'll see what fits like it's like you're completely new person. That's pretty cool that

You know, I think that part of my attitude has really changed so they hate hocking on this and saying it But my jujitsu school my jujitsu training, especially since last year, like last December when I got hurt, I was like, either I'm going to do this, I'm not doing anything right now. I'm not working towards anything. When you lift weights, you're working. I'm not lifting weights to be Johnny Bodybuilder or to join the bodybuilder.

I'm just lifting weights to stay healthy. Yeah, your blood pressure goes down, and you get good numbers and cholesterol. But I wasn't doing anything to and I said, this is the only thing I got. I'm going to build on it. And I really, really, really done a great job the last eight months. I really have commitment wise, like Saturday, I never train on Saturdays. Never. I'm always busy on Saturdays. And it's my family on Saturdays. But you I'm always busy on Saturdays and it's my family on Saturdays, but you know why I went in there?

Why? Because I only have one class for the week and I made a commitment to make two. And the last two weeks I've made three classes. So little things start somewhere and they build on everything else. I'm not telling people they got, but you always should be working on something You have to be a little better than what you were yesterday and the only way to do that is to be working on something

reading Putting some together right now. I just took a notebook and cleaned it out all those jokes. I wrote this year garbage got rid of Funny jokes, but nothing to reflect on me. It's the same shit. I've been talking about for 25 fucking years Right, so it's time on from that material. I watched paper tiger the other day From Bill Burr. Okay. Okay. There's a brilliant special. Mm-hmm. It's a very brilliant special and brilliant special. It's a very brilliant special. And that's the level that I want my material to be. Something from my heart that really bothers me. Not what bothers the world. You follow me? We've all been doing the wrong type of comedy lately. And that's why you see all this putting down comedians.

The podcast, I tell it on Rogan a year ago. When you have the podcast and you do stand up, you cater to your podcast audience. That's great. They're your audience. They're your people. But at the end of the day, you're alienating everybody else. So that's what I'm trying to do right now in my mind. I'm trying to change all that shit, whether it's good or bad, at least I'm trying. And it's not going

to be good right off the bat. It never is. But the more you take your mental into that direction, you'll see it. Observational comedy has always been tremendous. How the world affects your world, how your world affects the rest of the world, you know It always does whether and it's the littlest thing That you look at and break down. That's exactly what bill burr does he's basic 101 comedy man There's a that's that's what to me to like my favorite thing about a great comedian

Whoever it is is like they can look at one thing Like my favorite thing about a great comedian whoever it is is like they can look at one thing Even just like a water bottle and attack it from it like there's jokes every it's not just one or two It's it's like they surround it with jokes There's one little topic and it's that's so that that's what you're thinking about right now is is like what bothers you like what? actually bothers you What really ruffs against me comedy is about me? It's not about a gay guy that I don't like It's not about a transgender act that I don't want to move everybody's talking about that same shit. Yeah, everybody's talking about that So You have to take it somewhere else in comedy

Where that is I have no fucking idea. I feel a lot comfortable on stage when I'm talking about eating ass and doing that but Can't keep doing that Can't keep doing that Like it's not who you are anymore. No, I mean I still like to eat ass but It's tough for a 63 62 year old man to go up there and talk to you about eating ass It's cute about 10 seconds no one thing i'll like kind of challenge you on is like you key always you always whenever you say this stuff you're like well i'm 60 or i'm 62 i you at 62 is a lot different than a lot of

other 60 like it's just the number thing i think is big to you and I don't think it is big to other people It's just a reality man that I gotta keep in mind Because if I don't keep it in mind, I'm not gonna be grounded It's like when I walk into jujitsu Mm-hmm. And when you read there's elite something elite MMA some page on they talks about old guys. I always refer to that article And I always refer to the Rickson article their Hicks and Gracie video about age starting to jitsu over 50 and we talk about

your expectations Okay, and when you walk in there, yeah, you feel like you're 30, but you're really not. Right. And that's one thing that I always want to keep in mind. I never want to put a blonde streak in my hair, put a hat in my hair and put little race bracelets on to look cool. No, I don't want to change because I want to be cool and put a tattoo on my neck and have pictures of me

Smoking a cigarette and alley all mysterious and shit. That's that's it's phony I'm sitting right. What if I made a comeback with a suit on? It's phony But like I don't know would you consider yourself phony like that's no and that's like I don't think You know, I'm not saying I don't think you would ever do half an hour on on Giving them the best dick of their life But I think I don't think it grosses people out to think about you like occasionally having so 40 I was giving a good dick now. I give out to it's a two-or-one. Okay, so I've been lying to you right off the bat And that's what I'll talk about. You just say when you get older what happens like you looking at the same The spirit is willing but

Spread no more. You know I'm saying like there's so many things that I Don't know it's just different it's just different for you to be different Don't know it's just different. It's just different for you to be different It's got to start with you. I'm not I don't make age a big barrier, but I keep it in mind Okay, like me. I need to keep it in mind so I don't go off the deep end and you gotta remember. I'm a retard The reason why I don't like like a 62 year old is because I'm immature And I'm a fucking mook, you know, I Wish like I was looking at something the other day a bunch of people like a ball, you know people go to stay Oh John wick. I was watching John wick last night. I was reading something. I'm watching

I just put John seen John wick 80 times. I love it. Yeah, it shoots the big Japanese guy in the head I love that scene and the violin chick Yeah, that with the ponytail What I don't know you were watching it and Because you said like you're immature and you're watching John wick and doing something I Don't know what I was doing, but I'm not your y'all. They were having like a party like John Wick was gonna go kill the Italian guy and they were all drinking wine and they all have costumes on like you know glitter like today I was following my friend that's my age that goes out every weekend Sunday she went to something down the shore on Sunday and she's 62 and she's had to stay

And it's these it's it's like a black tranny dancing with two white chicks next to him And it's like on the back of a fucking bar. It's like what are you doing with your life? We were 20 because you imagine I walk in there and see this guy with a ponytail I'm turning around walking out of it But back to being immature. Yeah. How is a ponytail enough to get you out of there? Yeah, man, I'm immature.

Like, you know, things that I couldn't do, I can't be that person, go to a ball, or these guys that go to art exhibits and drink wine and like, ha ha ha, what does that picture say to you? It tells me you're a fucking idiot. That's what it tells me Right, and but that I think that's like and it's not the only reason people love you But people love you because like you're honest and like you no one likes that stuff I don't really think they even like it but it's like

But they go why go I couldn't nothing else to do. There's nothing on TV Listen a couple weeks ago I got invited to that soprano thing Okay, listen, there's nothing on tv, but I ain't walking into the mouth to hell because there's nothing I'll roll a joint and drive around for an hour by myself. Listen to sound garden before I fucking go those things. Okay Okay, tell you last week When I first got those mushrooms those mushrooms are strong by the way Everyone you had on last week. Oh, I still got I got like a half ounce ready to go. Just finish them. Just finish them

There's no brush. Yeah, but then I do like I gotta eat more every night, right? I just don't I'm scared of them Are these new ones? Yeah, those are they look like powdered doughnuts. Oh They're fucking strong. Funk for Fuck Factory is not fucking around with these things. And I got these new ones I want to get, I'm going to send them money tomorrow to get me the new ones before I go on vacation.

So I got different ones, these, I got a couple of chocolates, I got a couple of gummies. I'm going nuts down there for a week. I'm going to see my brother. I'm getting a box of fucking reefer this week with holes with the Hash and I'm in shit and fun. I Toe fungus in it the whole thing, you know, I Interrupted you were saying that last week with the edibles something happened. Oh my god

So one night not the edibles other mushrooms. I'm sorry. I like I didn't I didn't I don't weigh him So I just eat them and then the other end I should weigh them and see what this weighs And I put one I was like three grams. I've been eating three grams a night I thought I was eating like a little gram these things like stuffed mushrooms with fucking last night I had a piece that put me in a different planet. It was ugly It looked like the inside my toenail when I oh It was ugly Lee and I ate it, but let's go Tuesday night. I think I got a Monday I ate a little bit Monday Tuesday some watermelon. They got new watermelon gummies

Oh, I ate them and I ate a fucking like three grams and I went out and I went into CVS and they hit me in CVS all the lights and shit and and I got in the car Lee I sat in that car for 45 minutes Just looking on the floor listen James Brown, I'm trying to make calls. Nobody's answering I'm lonely These mushrooms at me. I'm lonely. These mushrooms hit me. I'm calling.

I'm surprised you couldn't even make calls. Oh my God. I was making calls, but nobody was answering. Or at least in the mushroom trip, nobody was answering. I was gonna say, did you even hit go? Like, dude, I can't tell you how many times at the hotel that I stay at when I come to see you that I've made it back to the hotel.

I'm just sat in the car. No Brady one. I just Like I can't believe I made it. It's like a three minute drive, but it feels like it's three hours. Oh The worst hit me and I gotta go on the 18 it's all dark and shit Thank you. See dear, but you really don't Dodging things and there's nothing out there. Oh Yeah edibles I'll do but mushrooms dude every time I'm at your house I keep I like you have a ceiling with with those lights that are in the ceiling and every time I see spiders up there Like I'm almost convinced that you put like this like you like a little fake spider or so

I guess but I can't imagine I would yeah, I would jerk everywhere driving in that shit. That's crazy So what do you got this week Tarzan this week Friday night? I'm at City Winery in Boston at 8 o'clock on Saturday night. I'm gonna be at Mulligan's in Biddeford, Maine 8 o'clock very excited to be back in Maine and then a big one August 30th at Rodney's I'm very excited to be my first official show as a New York City resident Very good August 30th is a Saturday Friday Friday. Yeah, I'll just be getting back that Saturday. So Well, I'm Like you were saying dude

I'm so excited to be moving there just to see you is gonna be great The comedy is gonna like I this is better. They're gonna see me a lot. Just worried about your fucking comedy career. No see Fine, you know what? Maybe I ain't gonna I ain't walking up four floors. No, I know you're never coming up I was thinking about that 15 minutes and then they got to walk four floors and I got a fine park in the boot Listen, you know what? There's that parking's not bad up there, which is pretty cool. And then Until I get there then driving around the corner. I got to park in front of a fucking hydrant. Oh, I know.

If you couldn't find parking on one loop, you would just leave. I'm aware of that. Cause I still got to walk four flights. Yeah. The challenge hasn't even begun yet. I've had it before. I'm going to have to hire people to help me move in.

I can't carry shit up for flights I told you that's gonna be a nightmare. You better get that rope and that arm going You better get it. It's not bad, but it'll get me in fucking shape. I hope It'll get you in shape walking up and down. Like I said after a month, you know, I don't know what I did But there's a the whole reason I got the apartment is it like, it was the nicest one inside that I've seen, but it has like, like a 20 by 20 terrace balcony. Like it's just, it overlooks New York city. Like I can ride out there and smoke a little bit of weed and just like, it's the biggest,

that's the coolest thing I've ever seen at any apartment I saw. And it has central air, which I don't know how people live in this in New York City without air conditioning. So I'm hoping they don't ever raise the rent, but I can't, I'm so excited. People that live in Venice and tell you

they don't have air conditioning, you're sitting there and they're living in one. Fuck them. And you're sweating, you got a mosquito on you and they're like, isn't this nice? Not really, put the fucking air on before you come out of here. They're like, listen, we opened two windows and the ocean breeze.

I saw the breeze, windows and the ocean breeze. Oh, the breeze. Listen, the ocean smells like ass. It's Santa Monica. Homeless is shit in there. Fucking people are coming from other countries. You go in that water, you come out glowing in the fucking dark in Santa Monica, Pia.

That water is disgusting. You walk out. You don't want to smell that. When you walk out of there, you go home. By the time you get home, you smell yourself. You're like, what the fuck? It's like going to Galveston, Texas Well, I bet homeless people wash in there don't you think shit and washing pissing? It's I

Can't I can't anymore But my brother have a great week You buddy I will see you have a great time in DC It'll be fun and Will see you have a great time in DC it'll be fun and Keep me fucking posted. I'm here. I'm queer. I'll keep you guys posted also stay black Have a great week uncle Joey and Lee love What's happening you savages it's Tuesday the 20th of August the check-in is brought

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