Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - @chefbrad is Tremenda!

Episode Date: June 3, 2025

Brad Delgado (@chefbrad on Instagram and @chefbrad_ on TikTok) joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt to talk about competing on the TV show, "Hells Kitchen", how one experience with inspired him to become the best chef in the world, and why he loves cooking for people. Joey and Brad also take a deep dive into Cuban food, why it is so important to them, and why bad Cuban food hurts them so much. Try your first month of BlueChew for free, just pay $5 for shipping. Press in code JOEY at https://www.bluechew.com New customers, bet $5 on DraftKings & get $300 in bonus bets if your bet wins. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app & press in code JOEY.

What's happening, beautiful people? Uncle Joey and Lee Syatt here for another fun-filled episode of the Church New Testament. It's Tuesday, June the 3rd. It's a new month, a new week, and a whole new set of motherfucking rules. What else? Anything else you wanna tell these people?

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details and important information. And I want to thank Blue Chew for sponsoring the church and I want to thank you guys to get ready to sling some dick with confidence and love. Try Blue Chew. Free promo code Joey, J-O-E-Y. Thank you. God bless. What up you savages? Uncle Joey here with my main man, Leesayat.

No edibles today, wanna give Lee a breather? We got a guest, you know. Last week he was rocking back and forth like one of those weebles wobbles, but I never seen anything like that in my life You were fucked up. What do you know? But you saw there's eight years No, nothing like that worse than these George said you fell asleep four times that they fuck and you fell asleep behind the computer over here Oh, oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh my god his daughter. I forgot about that

What did you not fall asleep like Johnny beat me? I wasn't falling asleep because I was tired. I'm tired. It wasn't, I didn't need a nap. Dude, I fucking passed out in the Uber. I would hate to hear what George's daughter said. Oh my God. Because I was just asleep. Oh yeah, it took, I kept telling her, we'll be ready to leave in like 10 minutes.

It was like LA times. It was like LA when you would leave at like midnight, at two in the morning, I'd wake up and I'm like, oh shit. Oh My god. Yeah, that was cuz I don't who knows what you even gave me. I gave you caramel No, I'm your milligram. Yeah the caramel is a good milligram of live pop an ABX and so we popped an ABX All right. I put it between my toes on the drive up. So when I give it to you, it's nice and chewy and fucking Jelly, so I got fucked up by mistake between my toes on the drive up. So when I give it to you, it's nice and chewy and fucking jelly. So I got fucked up by mistake Saturday night.

I mean, gone, man. My daughter and my wife went somewhere and I'm sitting there at five in the afternoon. I'm like, I'm pretty fucking bored. I got nothing to do till about nine. I go, let me see those mushrooms. And I didn't have big pieces of enigmas. I had like just crumbs. So I don't like the taste of theigmas. I had like just crumbs.

So I don't like the taste of the crumbs, so I went out and go to the garage. And there's a box of chips in my garage. So when the kids come over, they reach in and they have these popcorn. I don't fucking like popcorn. But for some reason, this Wise popcorn or something like that, it's not bad.

It's little bags, little tiny bags. I ate two bags of popcorn and maybe three handfuls of the mushroom dust, right? I sat there for a little bags, little tiny bags. I ate two bags of popcorn and maybe three handfuls of the mushroom dust, right? Oh, I sat there for a little while, I did a couple of one-hitters. The girls weren't coming home. I go, you know what, I'm gonna take a ride. I had to go get sneakers.

I've been looking for sneakers for three fucking weeks. I've been going everywhere. I can't find my sneakers. So I go, let me go get some sneakers. It's Saturday, the stores will be empty. I'll get there sneakers. So I go, let me go get some sneakers. It's Saturday, I'll get, the stores will be empty. I'll get there like five, dog. I had to turn around and pre-hope. Like I had to pull over and stop the sirens in my head.

Like I was hearing eee, like that type of shit. I'm like, I gotta turn around. And I turned around and I had to hold my head a certain way, tilt it. I go, I'm gonna keep it like this the whole way home. I was seeing cars fly by me, like that type of shit. I was for that part of the day, I'm like, oh, I gotta go home. Were you high that you couldn't play music?

Oh no, I had the music on, I was blasting it. And then at one point, oh my God, I shut the music off. This is too much, I was listening to like Billie Jean by Michael Jackson over and over. I couldn't even stop it. Billie Jean, not my lover. Just don't repeat for half an hour? Oh my God, I got home and I just sat in that chair

and sure enough, I'm in that house for four minutes and I hear the garage door open. And it's my wife with the fucking baby. Well, she's not a baby no more. And now they wanna sit and ask me creepy questions. I was fucking losing it. I was fucking, I had to go upstairs and fake a nap. It was like my old days when I did a lot of coke

in the afternoon and I was too fucking high to face people. I'd make believe I was sleeping, I put the sleep apnea mask and that almost died because it put too much air in my lungs. I'd be like shh, shh. I love how you're so committed to it that you put the sleep apnea mask on. Why not just lay down?

I didn't want nobody to bother me and ask me if I was sleeping or anything, so not till I could get out of that trance. But I had an interesting fucking text message yesterday that threw me off a little bit because I'm not a bad guy. I'm a bad guy, but not a bad guy. The guy I kidnapped died. Kent Vella, rest in peace. He fucking died, man.

And listen, no matter what happened, no matter the jokes I crack on here about Kent, I like Kent, I like Kent. It was just a different time. It was a different time in my life. I was fucking crazy in the head. The coke wasn't helping me. The way I was living wasn't helping me.

But I always felt bad about Kent. That's why I made it such a fucking mission to get ahold of him, to see him again, to talk to him. I didn't like the other guy, but I liked Kent. I always felt bad for Kent. Even while I was dragging him by his feet into the other room with the pit bull, I'm like, I can't believe I'm dragging my friend

with a machine gun to his head. Like, it's not good, but he wouldn't give me the coke and I got pissed off. He wouldn't fucking tell me where it was so I got pissed off but even after I saw him in court I could tell he didn't want to sit across from me why it's out because he was just he knew he was involved in as much as I was in the back of his mind no matter what he wanted to believe as a matter of fact a year after I kidnapped him and I got put away he got kidnapped again and that time they cut his face with a knife he was just living a life that eventually listen not that I stopped living my life

but I stopped the craziness for a while the craziness was taken out of my head I adjusted my life I started comedy and I made a decision that, you know what? I could quit coke every week. It's never gonna happen. I was one of those guys. This is the last time I'll snort, and then I wouldn't snort for four days, then I'd go off for three days.

So what's the difference? I go, I'm just gonna accept who the fuck I am and go for it, and that one day it stopped. For ten, it never stopped. Let me tell you something, life is bad, but when you're in your 50s and you're doing blow, it's just one day it stopped. Pretend it never stopped. Let me tell you something, life is bad but when you're in your 50s and you're doing blow, it's just a matter of time. I don't, I'm not a doctor, I'm not a genius.

But in your 50s, if you're not healthy, you're drinking, you're stressed out and you're doing blow, it's just a matter of time. If you're still doing blow when you're 50 and you do it to your 59, God bless you. I wish you could do it till you're 80, but eventually, at that age, your body can't process that. Not like when you were 21, you know?

And you could get up and, when I was 22, I could drink all fucking night, do blow and wake up. Now we're eating edible, and we gotta take a shit and drink a pot of coffee just to get straight in the morning. My brother's, I drink two pots of coffee and take two shits. That's what you need. Oh, yeah. I remember doing two eight balls of Coke and waking up like nothing happened.

Going to McDonald's, getting an Egg McMuffin and an orange juice and a Coke. And you're back in action. Well, that like as fucked up as I get on Edibles, I've never once been like, oh, I'm going to die. Like, that's one of the things that stopped me from coke is like, when you were doing coke, but like when you were doing coke like that, even though you were younger. I wanted to die, I didn't wanna live, I wanted to die.

You had to come to terms with you could die, right? Always, but you could also die getting hit by a banana truck. Right. You know what I'm saying? Right in West New York, some guy's not looking around, he's an immigrant, he's got a backpack on, he goes to sit back and runs you over.

You know, you could die doing anything. At that time I had no parents, I didn't have anything. No girlfriend, no wife, no kid. Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck if you die? At least you die with a piece of pussy in your mouth or a fucking hairball or something like that. You know, and that's how I looked at things.

And then as you get older, you're like, wait a second, now I'm in love with comedy. I don't wanna die. You know what I'm saying? Like now I don't wanna die. And it's so weird as you get older, you have this attitude like, you know, if I die, I die.

But once you hit 50 and you got a wife and a kid and a family, you're like, I can't die now. Right. And I- And listen, if I didn't have a wife and a family Mm-hmm when I was 50 somebody that hold me down. God knows what I'd be doing That's exactly God knows for this so there before the grace of God go. I that's why I feel so bad Mm-hmm, cuz that could have been me

That could have been me the tables could have changed Kent Delacroix got his life together become a comedian become, become successful, and I would have still snorted coke. I would have had to move to New Mexico with his mother. That's where he lived at the end. He was taking care of his mother. And he said, you know, those people, I had to go back and take care of my mother. You went back because they were looking for you. You went back because this was the only obvious option for you at this time.

You're 40, you can't stop snorting coke. And he was a great salesman. That motherfucker could sell. And that's what this kid told me. He had broken the sales record at his company, selling like solar panels or some shit, energy systems. Okay. For three years in a row, as fucking high as he was. It's crazy.

It's weird like how, like you don't really realize you're getting older, but then like suddenly you're 36, suddenly you're 50. And like, there's one, he just couldn't, that's a scary thing that he just couldn't stop doing coke. I was at a bar like six months ago. And it was like me, a guy, I was just eating dinner and there was two girls. And I can overhear that conversation.

They were still talking about, they were like 32. And they were still talking about high school. And it was, I'm not mad at them. They would just say that they were both hot in high school, that one was popular, she dated the guy from the bowling team, whatever. And they weren't talking to me, but I could hear them talking.

And it just goes to show you, until you're about 33, you're still living in high school. Your mind, because you're holding on to it because at some point you got to live At some point you're gonna have to shit or get off the fucking pot You've been giggling and dancing and oh I got this job just to pay my bills and i'm gonna go back to school But now you're 30 fucking three Now you're 33. That's a story you told your parents when you were 23. Since then you got a DUI, you knocked up some chicks. You know, life happens.

Life happens. I can't, if you live life, life's gonna happen. If you sit at home all day and play video games and deliver fucking, what's that food? Grubhub? Nothing happens. You might get hit by a car or talk to a customer. Nothing happens.

But when you're out there and you're hustling, you know, but just, because when I heard that, days later I thought about that conversation, I'm like, that was me. We just got out of high school, we got time. We got tons of time. Yeah. We got tons, fuck, I ain't gonna be 40 for 15 years.

Well bitch, one day you're 39, and you're like, what the fuck just happened? Still doing the same stuff too. Still doing the same shit. So that's what happens. You hold on to that high school. You know, I did, I remember still playing music from high school and walking the streets.

I can't wait to go to a party with my varsity shirt on. You know, with my fucking, you know. That's your whole thing. Your whole thing for 10 years, think about it, not me, because I wasn't gonna go, I quit high school. Think about it. Your whole thing after you get out of high school is you can't wait to go to the 10 year reunion

to show those bitches what you've done with your life. And then it happens that you go back in there and you got nothing, nothing changed. You go back there with like a fake business card, yeah, I own a whatever company. You got nothing. You got nothing. And that's what happens.

You're like, all those bitches in high school that wouldn't suck my dick, wait till I get to the 10 year reunion. They're all gonna be sucking my dick. No they're not, cause you're still a fucking morto van. You're still a fucking bum. And that's how fast life goes. That 10 year window, nothing happens.

I always said it, I used to say it on stage. Your 30s are to clean up the mess you made in your 20s. Oh shit, okay. Basically, that's what your 30s are. To clean up the mess, you got this girl pregnant, you got knocked up, had an abortion, your eye popped out. Now you have to live at home with your parents. That's what your 30s are.

To clean up the stupidity you did in your 20s. Now, if you're Joe Diaz, you kept doing stupid shit in your 30s. So now you gotta clean that shit upity you did in your 20s. Now, if you're Joe Diaz, you kept doing stupid shit in your 30s. So now you gotta clean that shit up when you're 40. Right. You know? Yeah, and now you're cleaning up the stuff when you're 50.

Yeah, and it's like, so it's better just to get on the horse and do it because you keep putting it away, you keep procrastinating, and life does pass you by. Though I did a lot of things in my life, and I'm 62, and I'm like, man, I wish I would have done this. I wish I would have done that. And dog, I did everything. I snorted coke, I jumped off buildings,

I went to prison, I did it all. I got chased by the cops, I chased people. What didn't I do? Where didn't I live? I talked to people, and they're like, you lived in Aspen, you lived in Boulder? These motherfuckers haven't left Jersey. They never left Jersey. They still live on the same block or maybe three blocks from where they grew up. To them, to me, I'm like a fucking world traveler. Yeah. Yeah. And you know what? It's weird. I was just

thinking about it this week. I think it's getting worse because I have a, I think a lot of people do and I'm I do I have a legit problem with my phone It's become in Like the social all that and I'm trying to stop it, but it's become an issue where I waste hours hours That's why I have the monitor every Monday tells you or Sunday. Mm-hmm How much time you spent on that computer once I go over an hour? It gets it shuts down for three or four days. Mm-hmm That's it. You should not be on that thing. If you're a business person you're trying to strive And listen, I get caught on the computer Yeah, I don't get caught on social media. I go I read and I go into these fucking

You know, I don't mind reading but it's not like I'm gonna go on Instagram for an hour.'s all there's nothing on Instagram Facebook there ain't nothing on for an hour nothing and there's nothing on Twitter for an hour if I go on a computer basically I play the DraftKings right but at least that you can make money dude I'm and I'm ashamed to admit it I will spend if I'm bored and don't have like I'll just scroll shit that I the people's a day in the life of me working at a coffee shop and they just scroll, shit that I, a day in the life of me working at a coffee shop and they just show themselves making coffee. I'm like, what did I do? Like, what is going on? No, you gotta get off

and you gotta take your social media off your phone. Yep. And just have it when you get home. That's why I don't have Facebook or Twitter on my phone. Yep. Never had them because that's what it'll make you do. And once you see people on phone, dog every time I go out,

it makes you put your phone in your pocket. Because anyway you go, you go to a restaurant, there's four guys sitting, they're all on the phones. If there's four girls sitting, they all got their phones out. If there's two couples sitting, two people got their phones out. So you have to say to yourself,

you know what, it's time to put this away. I think people, look, what event do you go? Anytime you see an event on TV, what do you see? What do you see? Yeah. You had a fucking nit game, game six. All the money. 10,000 a ticket.

10,000? You go anywhere. Ha ha ha. Ha ha. And then you get in the car, you get fucked in the ass, and now you can't dial 911 because the phone is dead. You're getting raped. Now you're wasting your fucking,

ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Ha ha ha. Which you're never gonna look at. Right, oh no. You're never gonna look at.

Or who you gonna show it to? Okay, I can see you going, okay, I'm gonna let Zppelin concert. Bam! Bam! One song because if you come to me and you go look watch this. Listen enough Enough put the fucking phone away. Oh especially for that because the audio quality is terrible. They're bouncing. There's someone in front of them I don't get the Last week was Shaw the beginning of Memorial Day. My friends went down to Shaw.

You said, they're at a club. Dog, everybody's like this. There's a fuck DJ Loser. DJ Hugo, you know, coming direct from Staten Island. I got my phone out. Like a fucking idiot. That's what it is. I lived, I grew up on memories and I still have those memories. Those memories are implanted in my fucking idiot. That's what it is. I lived I grew up on memories and I still have those memories

Those memories are implanted in my fucking brain Meanwhile, you you didn't get anything you were too busy looking at a phone taping. You didn't get the full fucking experience It's like when Roger Clemens used to pitch if you saw Roger Clemens pitch on TV You didn't get the Roger Clemens experience really? Yeah, because Roger Clemens walked back and forth. He goes at the pitcher, he stares him down for 10 minutes, he crosses his arms, he scratches his balls. Meanwhile, they're showing you the guy on third base talking to the fucking line coach,

or the guy in outfield arguing with fucking cheapskates up in the cheap seats. They don't show you what's going on with Roger Clemens. It's the same thing with life. It's the same thing with life. It's the same thing with life. If you have your fucking stupid phone on, you're gonna miss something. You're focused on the stupid phone to save your memories,

your most cherished fucking memories. I don't need pictures. I don't need pictures. I could care less about a fucking picture. There's no pictures of me in high school. There's no pictures of me anywhere. Why? We lived. We lived. We didn We lived. I take a picture. You're taking a picture. There's no coke on the table.

You got Budweiser's like all faggots holding onto your beer. Look at this with the middle of the light. Well, oh boy. Aren't you fucking cool? Right. You're drinking a beer. Whoopee. With five other faggots. Like fucking for my little seat. That's what my mother would call me. It's a quarter of money. And look at this with a beer showing people. That's it. Yeah. You didn't miss the whole thing. How many times you bump into people?

They let's take a picture. No. We're at Rudy's. There's no reason to take a picture at Rudy's. Right. What the fuck is wrong with you? But you take the picture, because you're a fucking idiot. But you're like, you're missing the whole fucking thing. And the Instagram, you're just going

into other retards' lives. Right. They're just, when you scroll, it's retarded lives. It's retarded, because if they had a life, they wouldn't be putting them up. Oh yeah. If they had a life life they wouldn't be putting them up. If they had a life they wouldn't be putting everything up to show you that they're doing something. And they're not even doing it.

You know DJ Khaled, fat fuck eating a steak on a boat. I wanna see that. You show me you got more money than me. But meanwhile you owe your credit cards. You got six fucking kids that you owe baby mama. You know any day now, baby mama, you know, it's the same shit Mm-hmm. So you're buying into their fucking bullshit. They're fabricating you a bullshit of lies on and I see it every day I see these people who make

Every time you open up YouTube. It's a new Joe Rogan tape Joe Rogan did this and Joe Rogan did that they're so involved tape how Joe Rogan did this and Joe Rogan did that they're so involved in where they cling on to the words well he said this he said that if you had a piece of ass a life you wouldn't give a fuck what Joe Rogan said or Joey Diaz or Lee Syatt or whatever you wouldn't care no and at least I love podcasts but the one that is new that I don't really understand is like the the twitch streamers who just will do extreme Like some of the biggest Kevin Hart's on like this guy kaisen at he just all day is just in his room like doing weird shit But it's like millions of people

Are and and and you can make a lot of money by just watching their shit and making clips and putting it it's and it's it's Really because it's become a problem for me It's not gonna stop you gotta stop you got your stand-up comic. Mm-hmm. You're 30 something years old it ends today That's it. Take that shit off your fucking phone all this stupid shit all of it if Instagram is bothering you take it off Yeah, yeah, nope paramount is not gonna reach you on Instagram Yeah, yeah, nope Paramount is not gonna reach you on Instagram Right, you're right. Yeah, just for laughs festival. Well, they're defunct now is not gonna reach you on Twitter, right? And if fucking You know Dave Chappelle wants to hire you. He's not gonna call you on Facebook

Right and I cuz that's the thing. I I make the, oh, I knew this for comedy, but I spend 99% of the time not posting my own shit. How much has my social media gone down since I moved to Jersey? You've done a lot less. I post one day a week. I post on Tuesdays. Have a great day. Sometimes I got an urge to post on Mondays if I want to play Tony Bennett or something. I get the sudden urge.

But besides that, there's no reason no more. For me, there's no reason. I do one show a month, it sells itself out, but if you want me to keep making tapes, hi, this is Jeff Z, I can't do it no more. I can't do it no more. One day I looked at it and I go, what am I doing with my life?

Because in the point, you start thinking that they can't live without your stupid video. Yeah. That was on Monday Motivation. You really start believing that in your mind that they can't live. And the one day you sit there when you're sober and go, am I a fucking retard?

Yeah. And it's the, listen, for all you comedy comedians out there, let me tell you how it is. Dave Chappelle has no social media. Dave Chappelle has no websites. Dave Chappelle has nothing. He pops up a show and it miraculously sells. So I want you to think about that.

Now if you take that same mentality, you're going to die for two years. But after a while, it might be better for you. Because you're not constantly, every Monday, I got to go through Instagram for you, right because you're not constantly every Monday I got a go to Instagram on Monday. What do you see? 50 standard everybody wants to put their stand-up on there or them in front of a theater showing you the people With a thousand people behind them, right? You follow me like yeah, just bragging You know what if you look at my resume, it says stand- comedy. How much more stand up comedy do I have to put on there? Try something different.

Put a picture of you roller skating and fall on your ass, anything. It's like today I was gonna make a boxing tape when I was at boxing gym and I'm like, again, who the fuck wants to see me hit a fucking speed bag? But the guy always says tape yourself doing that and then show it to me.

And I'm like, I'm not in the fucking mood. I don't have the common sense to get a tripod and hang the can I just want to go work out right but now if I'm you know I'm saying like it just got all that shit to me was like they don't need to see this normal they already know I will not make a tape of me smoking dope ever again Wow they know I smoke dope I gotta come on there every day and, see, it's what 20 times, they know you smoke dope. Right. After a while you look at yourself and you're like,

he's a fucking old man acting like a fucking child. I can name three guys with a still smoking dope on there, but it don't look good. Yeah, cause they be- Enough, they know you smoke dope, enough. Right. Enough, give them something different. Show them a They know you smoke dope. Enough. Right. Enough. Give them something different. Show them a picture of you playing chess. Like if I ever decided to learn how to play chess, I'd do a tape of me getting beat up playing chess. Because that's an angle

they've never seen me done before. Right. But everything else they've seen. Well, you got a new joke. So you got a new joke. You got to show them now. Make them come see it without showing them that. Make them come to your show without showing them that I will be right back. We're gonna bring on a special guest. We got I'm excited about this guy I've been trying to get this guy on for fucking a year, but I got sick and shit We'll be right back. We're gonna talk to you a little bit about draft Kings and UFC What is it 316? Yep week Live from Newark, New Jersey. We'll be right back.

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We're back like herpes. Uncle Joe here with my main man, Chef Brad from his Instagram fame. 600,000 people up there. What's up, Blimo? Oye, estamos bien, tío. Yo estoy, I am so excited. It's been a long time coming.

And this is a little thing where, hey, I'm so happy that we're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. We're here. You know.

I fell in love with Chef Brad, I'll tell you why. I have a white wife from Tennessee. And I love my wife. She'll cut a finger off for me. And for years, she knows that I always talked about Cuban food and she went and got her best recipes online, on YouTube, and it was a fucking disaster every fucking time.

And I felt so bad for her because she'd say, let's make it again, and I go, no, no, no. And my wife has a problem that when she gets a recipe good twice, she stops going to it. She gets on the phone with her mother. Like in my house, like spaghetti sauce will eventually turn into chili. You know, like everything turns into something else with my wife. And I love her.

But again, she's not a chap. She's a cook, you know, like a pretty okay cook. But when I showed, and I told her one day, I sat her down, I go, listen, you're forbidden from Cuban cooking. I love you to death, I've been with you for 25 years, but I can't do it no more because you're chopping up these fucking recipes.

You're destroying my insight. You don't know how much you destroy my insights. I am not some wannabe Cuban that talks about Cuban food. I'm Cuban I'm very traditional before the revolutionary Cuban where the food was fucking impeccable. They loved they loved to cook They would snort coke while they were cooking the coke would drip And I found you on Instagram and I will look to the recipes I'm like this guy's out to some And I found you on Instagram and I looked at the recipes and I'm like, this guy's onto something. And I called her down and I go,

you gotta watch this motherfucker. So the first recipe she took from you was carne con papa, tremendous. Then she stole the mortal recipe that you put on it two years ago, it's delicious. And then she got me the picadillo recipe. And that is killer because after I eat it, I save a little bit and the next morning I wake up

and I put it on Wonder Bread. She gottaadillo on Wonder Bread with the potatoes in it. S.O.A. that is. Oh my god. When life was hitting you hard S.O.A. Picadillo with the Wonder Bread. Oh my god. And when you remember you have it like you're like what am I gonna have for lunch? Picadillo. Oh shit. That taste in your mouth. I even make kind of con papa sandwiches on white bread. Exactly. I fucking love that shit. Exactly. No it's the textures mixed with just, just like you were saying earlier, that papa, when you cut it in half, and it's perfectly brown, I eat colored with all that sazon,

but the middle's nice and white. No, so mad. People have no idea, when you cut up a Cuban potato with a dish called carne con papa, number 25 at Versailles. Say. That's how strong my fucking game is. If you ever go to Versailles, just say 25. Whether it's Miami or California.

Carne con papa, number 25. Number 25, baby, 25. And when you cut, I remember going to Versailles and California and cutting the potato, the whole thing was white. I'm like, I'm in the wrong restaurant. Because the outside has to absorb the gravy from the fucking meat and that beef gravy

and the bouillon they put in there and it's brown on the outside. But when you cut it deep in the middle, it's fucking nice and white and clear. You don't know what that taste does to your fucking mouth. Your mouth, you can feel the flavors of the levels. It's a flavor memory. It makes you go back in time.

That's like why I love the Cuban food because even Lee, you don't look like you eat Cuban food all the time, pero when you had it, how, it's just nostalgic. I had no, not gonna compare to it. Yeah, no. It didn't make no Cuban food in our country. That's the thing.

I think, no, they would have lasted a lot longer. Dude, that rice, I've never had, and I'm sure it's not like that Versailles in the Valley that we went to. No, no, no. And they had that garlic chicken. I'm sure it was. No, no, I didn't know the one

that you're talking about. But that garlic chicken, even bad Cuban food, to me, as someone who doesn't know much about it, is the first time I had that garlic chicken, even bad Cuban food, to me, as someone who doesn't know much about it, is the first time I had that crispy chicken, like it wasn't fried, but they did something to it with that garlic sauce and that, we were talking about it before, you just give me black beans and rice,

avocado and some sort of meat. I'm good, I'm good too. Oh my God, I don't have, there's just, for someone who grew up in the Northeast, not around, like, it was just white people. Like, there was good food, but it's different. It's different. It's boring. And you don't know until you know. Si, sazong. That's truly, I think, what it really is. Like, people don't realize that, like, the power of the bay leaf is what I always tell everyone everyone if you just want your food to be like good you know just throw a

freaking bay leaf all dentro y que se jode la cosa porque that bay leaf will impart that magical flavor of like no su madre that every time you bite into those black beans it's like a different world porque I feel like a lot of them like sent Central America doesn't really use like a lot of like sazón and like all that stuff obviously, but that's like the whole central and middle of America's where the like iodinized salt thing came from. No one had iron, no one was like doing that and they go, we gotta put it in the salt, porque estos se van a morir, you know what I mean? So people use iodine and salt,

and when they cook with it, it kinda screws up the flavor, I think. So I feel like when people do cook, and like a lot of Cubans, I feel like they try to stick as natural as possible when it comes to like ingredients and stuff, como sal and like bay leaves too, pero I gotta get you to Miami

just so you could just have true authentic food, porque te vas a cargar, I swear. I don't know if I'm ready for it. No, no, see, we were talking about it, but it's like, I know. I'm ready for it, you're ready for it. No, you're ready, I see un poquito. Dude, I might gain all the way back.

Here's the thing with recipes that sucks. I'll call people, and I'll go, George, get grandma's recipe for chicken. And grandma's great, she'll give me the recipe. But the bitch will leave something out. Okay, it's like when you learn Jiu Jitsu. Exactly. They always leave something out for you to figure

on your own. For you to kind of figure on your own. But guess what, I'm an idiot. I don't want to figure it out on my own. I want you to tell me. So for years, me and my wife have been experimenting with Cuban recipes and everything tasted was missing something until we found your recipes.

Oh my God, that like, oh, what do you think? Because you weren't hiding nothing. Because that's what was pissing me off. That we would cook it to the fucking, I'd sit there with a, I'll with a, you know, white wine, what's that wine? Like Camaron Enchilado. It's Camaron Enchilado. When they eat that dry wine.

That dry wine I eat. That's the whole fucking thing. You just let it reduce, but nobody shows it. Nobody shows you that. No one tells you. And this, the only person that you gave us legit recipes, like I became a fan because I'm like, most people leave something the fuck out. And you gotta figure it the fuck out.

You gotta sit there with a spoon at night. You know, and that's one thing that you did that I really liked, you know, like the mordo. I fucking love mordo, even though it'll put 20 pounds on it. Because you make that shit with pork grease. What's mordo? No, pork grease, mono is truly like, it's a dish that we cook for like nochehueyna,

for parties, it's black beans and white rice cooked together so like the rice has this like dark tinge, right? A lot of these restaurants nowadays use like that dye that was still back, I think in the like, like I think like probably like sixties and like seventies, people still use the moto and the like little dye, whatever. So when you go to a restaurant, you'll, you'll kind of see when it's not authentic book, it looks like black, like kind of, kind of like that, like spaghetti, see, see, see, see, see, literally, literally, pero when you cook an authentic one,

you let the grease of like, you render down pork, you really put the bay leaves in there, and like I always tell people, whenever you have like dry spices and stuff, throw it in with all of the hot like grease and stuff like that, porque se cocina, and that allows it to like open and give you those flavors that you're like

fighting to like figure out you know but with with my page granted i really just try to like simplify everything to make sure that you get the same taste that abuelita or abuelo or whatever was there because i too was on that same boat where I'd sit there and be like these fucking guys don't put like they're saying oh this is how you make a steak frites but I'm like you didn't tell the people that you got to fry the fries twice you got to do esto aquí and then I saw this carne con papa and he missed the bay leaf he missed like vino blanco and shit and I'm like dude you're missing key flavors that are crucial components to people in this culture. If you make a carne con papa for a Cuban and it doesn't taste like carne con papa, you're screwed.

I'm pissed. That's what the problem was. In places outside of Miami, and trust me. I've given everybody a chance. No see You got four Cuban restaurants Three other people are from Union City or what? Minneapolis has a Cuban restaurant That's run by a Greek woman who grew up in Cuba and her husband was Cuban Oh, he died and she opened up a restaurant that's standing room only.

It's so busy. It's packed. Breakfast and lunch. He done. Hey, my buddies just went there, sent me back. I told them, I go, if you go to Minneapolis, go see that lady. They came back, they live here and they were like, Joey, the breakfasts are insane. Steak, potato, it's like a Cuban breakfast. The old breakfasts. I remember growing up, my mom waking up to see white rice with a steak on top of it and two eggs. And then they break the yolk and the egg goes on the fucking steak and on the rice and they mix it up with a fucking cup of Cuban coffee with milk.

And then they would get a pound of Cuban bread with butter and dip it in the fucking coffee and eat that shit. I'm like, no, no. Now, I would give my aunt to see coffee and eat that shit. I'm like, no, no, no. I would give my aunt to see my mother eat that breakfast again. Fucking huge breakfasts. We have a friend, Rudy Sarzo, Cuban kid,

West New York, Miami, he won't eat Cuban food. When we go take him out, he'll eat a croqueta because he goes, Cuban food fucks me up because at the other side of that spectrum, it's fattening.. It'll fuck you. Last week or two weeks ago you were making those wayabas. I didn't know what to look at. You have no idea the amount of pastelitos that I fucking made. Everyone was like oh no make a pastelito. Porque going back to your point with Lee earlier on about like Instagram right right? Like being on Instagram and Facebook and YouTube and all these little things, right? You become like crap, like fuck, like what does everybody want? You know, you have some people

wanting, oh yeah, I want meat with potato, oh yeah, I want this. So I posted the pastelitos and then everyone was like, now we want them with pastelitos and cheese. And I'm just thinking, hey, just put a little cheese on it, baby. It's the same thing and then wait yo lo hice otra vez and i was like esto es de guayaba y queso porque everyone just gets like this like pero the amount of freaking food i've started the gardeners on tuesday se cagan every time they come to the house porque they show up and i go hey are you guys hungry porque i was there with like literal like almost like 200 pastelitos. Because I just started making them and then all my friends, hey, hey, hey, but my circle is like this. Bro, I just got a puppet named Paco, right?

Because it was a bitch getting people to be on this shit. So I go, you know what? Fuck it, I'm going to be Paco and I'm going to be this too, right? The amount of pastelitos that I just give away and the amount of food, it's like, one thing, but the pastelitos are the most dangerous and the Cuban bread with the butter and you just dip it in the coffee that's already filled with like six,

like six cups of like sugar, bro. It's like insane. And then people think, I'm here, I'm drunk because obviously like, if you had a coke, you wouldn't sleep for like nine years, you know? Like, like, like, like. What's a coke?

It's, it's, it's like just, like the meth of Cuban coffee. Like, like, like, like, it's just like the first press that like comes out, right? You take it and you mix it with like three things of like sugar, bro. And you're just there. And it becomes this thing that if you just like lick it,

a little bit of hair on your nuts, you know? And they're going like, whoa, what are we doing, baby? That way you pour this colada and you drink it. The first two sips, your heart's gonna have like three palpitations. And then you're gonna be like, goño, yo creo que me voy a cagar. And then you're gonna look at someone and be like,

yo creo que me la voy a cagar. Porque esto es going to be like, you get horny, you get crazy. It's like leche de tigre, but like Cuban, you know what I mean? It's nuts. And you drink it and then you smoke a cigar. Oh. To really like that motherfucker. No, no, no, no.

And then you go to the toilet. But, people freak out because everyone, they drink it in like thimbles, you know, in like a little thimble. If you have more of that, you're going to have a heart attack. You're done. Starbucks can suck your dick. Starbucks is nothing.

Did you buy the Miami International? Yes, yes, yes. Okay, when you go to Miami International, there's a place that you buy sandwiches and stuff. Yes, yes, yes. If you look to your left, there's a Starbucks. Yes. That's lonely.

Empty. There's a couple dumb white fucks going there. Empty. Lonely. They got one guy, he's a one man show in there. They don't get business they get. Cause I'm not paying four dollars for your ice water, when for a dollar 25, I'm doing meth. Right from the fucking boat.

Right from the boat. To ship the cartel cells. Unless you're an idiot, and you don't know anything about coffee, look at Starbucks. You take your ass over to that place, you get a coffee, you get a Cuban sandwich for breakfast

and you buy three sandwiches to go. Tell them not to put it in the oven. And you bring that mother fucker on the plane with you and when you get home he throws it in the oven and then you eat, shit. Cheers. Shit boy. Now who taught you how to cook?

No, so it was crazy. My grandmother, right? So I grew up in Miami, born and raised tolo eso. My grandmother, my mom owns a restaurant in my herb, her and her cousin, her brother, right? So my uncle owned this restaurant in Miami called Bahamas Fish Market, right? Back in the like 70s, everyone who like just got off the boat, their mothers would start working in this restaurant to like make money for it or whatever. The moment I posted about that restaurant all these people like kind of like were like holy shit like you you were part of this,

it's such a Cuban staple and I didn't even realize you know. Growing up going back and forth from Bahamas and seeing my grandmother there, we'd always go to her house after. This bitch would put me up on the thing and be like, oh, she's hungry. I'm like, sure. She'd cook me up arroz, and then she'd do the little egg and then the garbanzos and then all that.

I would just sit there and watch, and she had this fucking bird, bro, that always bit me. I don't know what the fuck it was, but every time, bro, I'm there watching it and I'd be like, fuck this bird, you know, whatever. I get so mad. But over the years, like seven, eight years passed, and like I didn't realize that like I was like keeping it there, you know,

just just watching her do her things. And I didn't realize that it was going to like stick with me. Then I moved to New York to pursue like acting school, right? Tremendo de pinge bro. They put me in this school, they go get a leotard. I go, hey, bro, this is from Walmart, because this is hard, bro.

Bro, leotards, 6 a.m. movement class, right? And we'd be laying there. Bro, bro, laying there. No, no, it's una mariconería that I was like, bitch, you know, this isn't my shoot. I wanna be, no, no, no, no, no. I wanna be funny, I wanna be charismatic.

You're telling me I have to come into a leotard, move like this, and I'm gonna cry because I'm pulling socks out for a scene. Go fuck yourself. Por favor. So I left the school, I go palapinga. Pero, when I really learned how to cook was during this period, because I had a lot of friends

from like Europe and Australia from this acting school. They've never had a Thanksgiving, right? And I was like, conya, what the fuck you mean? I never had a Thanksgiving. And then I was like, wait a minute, history, obviously they don't celebrate that over there. And I go, oh my God. So I called my Cuban and then I was like wait a minute history obviously they don't celebrate that over there and I go Oh my god, so I called my Cuban parents and I go this year. I'm not coming for Thanksgiving

Me holy la vida. They fucking hated me. They go. Oh my god sacrilege, you know every holiday You got to be with the family told I go no I bet I got some Balceros a key that we're gonna feed and we're gonna make a br's Giving. I started cooking at 5 30 p.m. Worst mistake I've ever made. I cooked two chickens. I cooked a whole ham. Cooked todo eso. I, in my head, I'm like I'm gonna kill 30 people tonight. Porque yo no se if I cook this right, whatever. But something just like came over me and I was like, coño, I think I did this right. It's like 1 30 in the morning. I go, Hey, everybody, food's ready. Happy Brad's giving.

Everyone sits down, everyone eats and they go, Brad. I go, Bingo, bro. They go, this is the best chicken I've ever had. I go, nah, bro. Shut up. Shut up. Right. I spent another year in New York.

Every day I walked past a culinary school and like I don't realize till the last week I'm moving out of New York right every day we'll walk by and sit there be like go in your cake Lassie get glassy thing they're just playing with food I want to do that fuck but I have to go home and now I have this lawyer dad and this mom that's like you're not doing anything and he's like you got to be in business I'm like you you wanna see me just like, colgado ahi porque I don't do the cubicle life. Yo no puedo ser eso dad.

And like, I don't know how you got it, whatever. I moved back to Miami and this is like the true story of how I became a chef, truly. My ex-girlfriend breaks up with me, right? Yo nunca ha sido LSD, never did it in my life, whatever. This girl breaks up with me, right? Yo nunca ha sido LSD, never did it in my life, whatever. This girl breaks up with me, right? Parents hated her. She was 28, I was 20.

Oh yeah, I got a whole ass woman to fall in love with me. Yo estaba a little Haitian. Tene tatuaje también. See, Haitian Filipina. Patua! Patua, pero coño su madre. It was the best year of my life. Ay, era loguísimo.

This bitch leaves. She goes, no, I'm leaving. I go, OK. A friend calls me. He goes, oh, man, whatever. There's this water, whatever. He goes, drink, drink the water. It's going to be great.

You drink this water, bro. Oh my god. Tukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutukutuk fucking chef in the world. I go to my mom's room, I kick the door, and I go, I'm gonna be the best chef in the world. She goes, get the fuck out, it's 3.30 in the morning. I'm like, sorry, oh shit, Macau. That night I applied to this restaurant called Yuvia, right? It was in like Lincoln, Lincoln now has this like parking lot that like is like whatever.

It was the best restaurant in Miami at the time. I applied, I was like, no, I'm there like, hold on, bro. I'm like, yeah, I'm gonna do this, whatever. I applied, next day they call me, they go, can you come in tomorrow? I go, sure. Me thinking it's gonna be like an apprenticeship, whatever. Didn't realize it was Mother's Day brunch.

I walk in, they go, oh, the grill guy called out, you wanna step on the grill? I go, yeah, come on, no, I'm probably gonna get help and all this bro there was no help all of a sudden 350 people just sit down and they go and I'm like what the fuck is this like they go those are all your orders I'm like okay but like what do I do they go cook I'm like fuck okay bro I grabbed these churrasco okay I but like what do I do they go cook I'm like fuck okay bro I grabbed these churrasco okay I'm like what whatever on churrasco and I didn't even cut them I just laid these motherfuckers out there come on the the grill was like

this big for four hours four hours I see bro four hours I see doing all this shit whatever I'm like blacking out I'm like I'm killing someone I keep whatever the service finishes and everyone's like looking whatever. I'm like blacking out. I'm like I'm killing someone. I give whatever. The service finishes and everyone's like looking at me. I'm like hey everybody, I think, can I go home please? And then this Michelin star chef, Gilles Repit comes down and he's like, hey who the fuck was on Stakes? I was like, me? What I do? Fire me ahora porque yo nunca he esto. He goes, dude, you killed it tonight. Thank you so much. I want to take you under my wing and like, let's see if we can do this. I go, what the fuck? Like, what the fuck was in that? You know, I'm like, this is crazy. From there, I just started cooking and he kind of taught me like French technique, right? Then I went to the CIA in Napa Valley. So culinary school.

I had like 5000 followers and I was just sitting there and I look at them and I go, oh, just so I could build some credibility, I'm going to go to culinary school so like you can like really understand me and I could teach you everything I know for you guys to become better home cooks. And I was like 5000 people, like no one. You know, I was like, bingo, I'm about to spend thousands of dollars just for your, like, let me see if this is gonna work for me, you know? Then I went to the CIA and it just all kind of like clicked where I saw these people being like, oh, you know,

like I'm gonna be a chef for the rest of my life. And I'm like, you mean you're gonna work in the kitchen for the rest of your life, whatever, like, you mean you're going to work in the kitchen for the rest of your life, whatever, and do all this? Yeah, yeah, it's fun. It's my passion. I go, but with dinero, you know, and like, how are we going to, how are you guys going to do this? When I was watching these other kids learn how to cook, something clicked about the acting school and like the tightness of that leotard. I wasda, you know what? I think if I meld this acting with this like cooking-esque technique that I'm learning, like French technical technique, which everyone has to learn.

Like whenever you're like cooking, any chef, Escoffier's method and his technique, eso es la cosita that if you don't have a wife, you learn that shit, you will have a wife the next day. Porque es una cosa where you will, wow, like cook crazy. But all these kids were just so dead set on being in a kitchen all day. And I'm like, that's not my life. I want to at least have that moment for either people or anybody that you not only just escaped

for that minute and a half of watching this video or whatever, but you learned something. And I feel that that is where everything kind of clicked because this generation and this time, there's not a lot that's being taught, it's all like what's being seen just like you were saying earlier with streamers where I'd understand a streamer, but if you were if you were doing good, you know, and like, oh, like not just going to a hotel and like destroying it with like 50 people and then getting the views, you know,

so what are you teaching the youth, you know, that's like looking at you and what are you teaching like people and like your peers? So I took all that shit, you know what I'm saying? What I was, I was like, oh my God, this is what an epiphany. From acting school, I moved to LA and then I put myself in one of the tiniest kitchens called Petit Trois. It's run by Ludo Laveve. They have one in the Valley and they also have one in Highland in Hollywood. So this was all like peak COVID as well. So era una mierda ahi where everyone was walking around going to the mierda restaurants were like

at minimal capacity. I'm like what the hell? Pero this restaurant didn't matter at 7 a.m. you had a line out the door for the French omelet. Then at night this burger that I would make every night, it was called the Big Mech. It would take two days to like make all the ingredients, right? It was like this red wine bordelais with this Thousand Island sauce on top of two patties. With a little cheese. This is home, my God. It's like, you have no idea.

This burger, people would come, bring their dates, and I'm looking at them, I'm like, hey, daddy, you're not gonna get anything after you eat here, because you're gonna be there, she's gonna be like, what the fuck was that? Because it was... Was the food that good? The food was amazing.

It was like, I, because it was the details. It was that our fryer was clarified butter, you know? So, that shit, this guy would dish out, I don't know how much, was clarified butter, you know? So, esa mierda, this guy would dish out, yo no se cuanto, para esta mantequilla, I'm like, bitch, that's a lot, you know, a lot. Clarified butter as you're frying essential oil is nuts, pero this burger was just like this mystique thing, yo no se por qué, pero there I really, really learned

how to cook, porque every night it would be like 200 people sitting in like an 80 person restaurant like it was tiny as shit but it would move like that the grill would be a see crazy to the point that I worked so hard I eat that it formed an abscess in my back come on on a seat como yo estaba a bro it would be wake up at 5.30 because I lived near like Beverly Hills and like Doheny around there. Right, like right on the cusp. I would drive 5.30, I'd get there at six, work till like 11 p.m. right?

With like a little like 20 minute, 30 minute break, whatever and then oh my God, wake up the next day by the time that you're out of that restaurant, it was like 1.30, maybe like two in the morning, because you got to like clean, clean and all that. That's the part that killed me. Where it was like after we just got molested during service, you're like, OK, now clean the floors. I'm like, are you fucking nuts? I'm like, what do you mean? Pero it built character. It built like this discipline that I, obviously as you can see, I have full blown ADD to the max.

And to me, it's like the best thing on the planet. Pero this taught me how to organize things. This taught me how to go through the motions of something that like helps you like make things easy for people you know where we're like cooking a burger it's simple but if you do it multiple times like cooking a french omelet right i never learned how to like like knew how to make a french omelet so you take like two ladles of eggs right and like butter and then it starts like coagulating right as it's coagulating right you smack it one time and then you start like flipping it towards you and it looks like like like a perfect cylinder like perfect cylinder rolled and then you just put a little bit of butter on top and then it comes out like shiny. Se ve, oh my God.

People, it's like technique cooking. You know? Do you put like a cheese French on it or? You will put borson, like garlic and herb, borson, pepper, cheese, whatever cheese, goat cheese. Te puedes tirar lo que tu quieres aya adentro. I want no goat cheese. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Goat cheese, no, but, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, nuts they see my Instagram I still had like 5,000 followers I wasn't doing anything you know and these people reach out and they're like well you do you want to be on Hell's Kitchen but they like sent a DM from an account that had like two followers I go either I'm gonna get raped or this is gonna be like a thing here where okay this is like real so we go and then they the the amount of tests oh yeah the blood test the psychological test to make sure that you're not freaking crazy and you go in there and be like... It was the craziest test it was three and it was three and a half hours two of those hours was a black screen and a questionnaire where there was like

someone else watching me answer these questions but the questions were crazy it's like so would you ever kill your parents? I was there like just don't make a face if I make a face like you know I was like oh my god every little thing was there

the blood test and all that I went on Hell's Kitchen and that is where I truly became Cuban, Cuban, Cuban. It was the craziest thing ever because when I lived in Miami I wasn't this little thing, you know, I wasn't this like, oh, blah, blah, blah. When I moved to California and I saw all that, saltless potatoes, I go, you know what,

this needs a little bit of energy. I get on the show and everyone's like, oh, I left my kids. I did all this, you know, I'm going to win this show. I'm like, why do you guys want to win the show? You're going to work at a restaurant for the rest of your life. Like what, what is the point? But for me it was like, let's just go on and let's have fun. And the Cubanism started coming. And then from there I was like, I think I'm onto something. I love my culture. I'm cooking some Cuban dishes for Gordon and he's like, what did you do to this burger?

What did you do to that? I'm like, oh yeah, bro, it's Sasson, dude. It's like you put a little bit of bay leaf, a little paprika, oregano, a natto seed. It turns into a whole nother dish. And it kind of clicked. After Hell's Kitchen, my ex hated me because I had like a 280 person like apartment unit

conflict. I walked downstairs and I put on cartel. If you want Cuban coffee, Cuban bread and pastelitos knock on this door. Five bucks. I don't know if it was legal or legal. I put that bitch on Yelp. I put that bitch on Yelp, right? The apartment building will get calls night and day being like, so is this El Cuanito restaurant? Like is there seating outside? And they're like, what the hell is going on? One day I go to get groceries, whatever. I come up, there's a line outside my door. I open, I'm like, what is going on? Like, I don't know, whatever. I open, I'm like, what is going on? Like, I don't know, whatever. I open the door, my ex-girlfriend, I tell her, what the fuck did you do?

And I was like, mira, mira, escucha, I think they want cafecitos. I made like 200 cafecitos, like, because there was no Cuban food. So from Hell's Kitchen, I went into that and then I dumped the girl, well, like, should we, mutual, mutual dumping. Pero era esta cosita where from there I brought it back to Miami and I started up the Chef

Brad thing because she didn't want me to do Chef Brad y todo eso, porque it's like, I am very passionate about this and like I want to make sure that everyone eats good, you know, because at the end of the day everyone has to eat, you know, like it's not like, oh, woo, you know, because at the end of the day, everyone has to eat, you know, like, it's not like, huh, woo, you know, so yeah, tiene problema, tiene problema, pero that's... You know, it's crazy you saying this because I go to a restaurant by my house and the food's good, good people, but I like the owner because from the minute you walk in, he's coming up to you going, what are you hungry?

What do you want me to make you? What do you want me to make you? What do you want me to make? And those are the people that when they bring you the food as they watch you eat, they're fucking coming in their pants. Yeah. And that's a special feeling. Not for me, because I'm not a cook.

But I can see that when I'm eating, I'll look up and he'll be like, fucking, like, how is it? And he won't leave until I tell him how it is and why it was good. And then he'll leave and he'll come back and he'll be like, fuck it, I'm like, how is it? And he won't leave until I tell him how it is and why it was good. And then he'll leave and he'll come back, you want more? I think about this guy all the time because I'm like, it's like the Italian people when I grew up, when you went into their house,

they bent over backwards to you. Everything. It's like, I read an article, there's a really good journalist 30 years ago in Chicago and she was Cuban and she covered a lot of Cuban stuff and She wrote an article about visiting her family in Cuba Hmm, and she said that when she walked in no matter how poor they were any home in Cuba when you walked in this is 1985 yeah

And she goes no matter what home you walked in and what little or nothing that they had they offered Always offered you a glass of water. And I remembered that. I really remembered how special that sentence was, that they offered you a glass of water, they were happy that you were there. When people come to my house, I'm never happy. You know what I mean?

Unless you're showing up with a piece of pussy and a meatball, I ain't happy. What are you doing here? What are you doing here? What are you doing there? But there's a quality about somebody who wants you to eat, who's looking at you going, I don't care if you weigh 500 pounds. Yeah.

I just want you to be happy. I just want you to be happy. And that's a fucking gift that a real chef has. What you're telling me, that you make 200 coffees and whatever, that's a real chef. That's a real a Chef humanitarian type of person. He wants everybody to have the good things, you know When I see somebody eating bad food, it drives me crazy. Exactly. It drives me crazy. Anybody in this room knows No, it drives me crazy because you live in America

And that's all these options and you're choosing to go to McDonald's I see or you're choosing to eat stupid fucking pizza at 50 years old, which drives me crazy. That's what I'm talking about. Drives me crazy. You know, all this shit that we do, when you have all these options to eat this fucking great food,

and it only costs you $20 more to eat that great fucking food. Exactly. But meanwhile, you'll fucking kill yourself to eat something shitty. I'd rather tell my girlfriend, she go fuck herself, that she ain't going out to eat this week. Because I stopped somewhere at lunch

and got a steak for myself. And that's what we, I don't understand it anymore. And these guys will tell you, even when I was robbed, there was a Chinese restaurant I used to rob up in Fort Lee all the time. I didn't give a fuck. My goal was I don't mind not having weed during the week, but on Sunday I'm going to have weed where I got to rob you. And on Sunday, even if I don't have money, I'm going to have a top notch fucking meal if I got to rob you.

If I got to rob you. Because that's the way life is. You cannot, well, I don't have any money. I'm going to go to Subway. That's the wrong attitude. Go get that, well I don't have any money, I'm gonna go to Subway, that's the wrong attitude. Go get that money. I don't give a fuck if you dine and dash. Go get that money. Because you'll feel so much better when you eat something 100% better.

Like you just feel, you could be flat broke. I don't give a fuck if this is the last $55 steak I'm ever gonna get. I'm leaving this restaurant with $3. I paid 50 for the steak and I gave a $20 tip and I drank water just so I could sacrifice to eat this fucking great steak. We've forgotten that.

And that's why, you know, every time I drive my McDonald's I go, who the fuck is eating this? And okay, there's financial limitations. There's people that don't make a lot of great money or whatever, but man, that's one of the things you live for is to eat good. Every society, they showed you pictures of it. 10 fat dudes with a fucking table, a fucking food.

Sitting there. Christopher Columbus, I just saw a picture of these. They have those Indian guys that fuck 14 year old boys and they wear like a little mask. Even those guys, they feed these little kids before they molest them, these little kids dance with them and shit. I saw that on Instagram.

See, that's worth looking at right there. I don't wanna see no fucking guy doing stand up on a podcast on Instagram, or you giving me a live report from what cheesesteak place. I don't wanna see that. But eight Hindus eating Hindu food and they got like 50 and they got that little chubby. You ever see that fat dude that shakes? He got wiggles. Oh yeah.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle wiggle. I would put him in front of my restaurant. $10 an hour, just wiggles. $20 an hour, all you can eat. And he just bum bum bum, bum, bum. Interesting to me. You know what I'm saying? And then I look at your videos and I go, every fucking week on channel 12, they do that fucking restaurant that you go to.

What's that place you go to that's better than Lovoti's? Up by my friend's house, up there up. You go to that's better than the voeux up by my friend's house up there up You go to a fucking Italian supermarket pepinos Uncle Giuseppe's you ever see the guy who teaches how to cook there? No, he's just shoot himself That is the boringest cook in the world and it's the same Italian shit that you know I'm gonna teach you today how to make you know, and you see him and he's got the chick from Channel 12 I wouldn't eat that shit. I wouldn't even go down there I'm gonna teach you today how to make, and you see him and he's got the chick from Channel 12. I wouldn't eat that shit. I wouldn't even go down there.

Because if it's gonna make me that boring, I don't wanna eat that fucking food. Exactly, you don't get old medicine boy. We all watch like Chef whatever. I try watching that TV show at night, but he always wins. And that's bullshit. That guy always wins.

Bobby Flay. Bobby Flay. Classy. You can bring a chink chink from fucking China China make the best Chinese dish and Bobby Flay always beat Beat his ass Throwing them in there and fucking Bobby Flay beats him. And three white people judge him. Give me a black African in there to let me know what's really cracking the locker.

He beats everybody. He beats everybody. Even in their own, he can come to the fair. He's worse than the Knicks, he only wins away. That guy can come to England and fucking, you know, it's amazing. You beat Setley, you lost a bet again for Bobby, who beat Bobby Flay.

I both lost again against my wife one night, my daughter. Because I'm like, how the fuck is this Chinese guy gonna lose? Bobby Flay, I know. This guy can't talk, he's got a cat on his shoulder. Fuck. What the fuck? Go, go, go.

God, fuck. He's a fucking lock. And Bobby Flay just beats him. And I'm like, nah. This motherfucker. Then you had Chef LaRoy, see. This is the name of the Italian guy that molested somebody. Chef.

But, but, but. Butali, butali. Yeah, that poor bastard. He made a comeback. Brocks. I know, those orange frogs. Ain't nobody buying into that motherfucker. Oh, you see that in an alleyway.

Butali, no, there's another guy. What was the guy 20 years ago, the Italian guy? His pasta's good. Butali's pasta's good. I swear, his recipes are crazy. Emer Emmerle. His pasta's good. Emmerle Lagasse? Battaglia's pasta's good. I swear, his recipes are crazy. Emmerle Lagasse. Emmerle Lagasse, he did something too. Bam, yeah.

Bam, he did something too. Bam. You did something better than bang. I mean, there's times I show you videos to people and we just fucking die of laughter. And I'm the comic and I'm like, look at this. When you sit there on the thing, waiting by the stove and the fucking hitting shit.

What if it makes a fire coming out of his ass? Oh yeah, the fire coming out of his ass. And you know at the end of the day, that's what people wanna see. That's why you're so memorable. That's why you went from 5,000 people to 600,000. It's like now I'm seeing people doing dates. Hi, I'm gonna be in Chicago on set.

It's the most boringest video. I wouldn't go see you. No. I wouldn't go see you. No. I wouldn't go see you. You wanna feel the energy. I wanna see you, somebody getting mugged here. Here I am in the corner of Chicago. Watch this, I'm sorry.

I know Joey's gonna get mad at me. You know what I'm saying? Tape a fucking bum getting kicked or something. Then go, I'll be in Chicago all week. Dive to the cells. You walking, like I saw some of my friend of mine in front of a brick wall. I think he's about to get shot.

Like they were gonna shoot. Hi, I'm gonna be in Kentucky Friday and Saturday. That's why I'm not gonna be. Done. Not gonna be. So how did you, so because now I see your story. You went to acting class, the leotard. I hated that shit.

The French do, because those French cooks gotta stick up their ass. No, no. They do have to stick up their ass. No, no They do have a stick up their ass He was the first chef that has ever thrown food like ever little of ev is like a rude SAC gay they correct you on everything What the fuck is your problem with the forces and then there goes your steak that you just worked 15 minutes on and then he yells Are you I need a steak now? I was like, bro, you just had a, it was a bull.

But truly the energy just comes from like, hey, it's pure ADD and pure like intrusive thoughts, you know, because like, think about it, whenever someone and like you're watching either a movie or kind of like even like a family guy episode or something like that, they always say some gnarly like punchline and then they hit you with the actual scene of,

oh it's Ray Liotta buying honey, y esto, esta, y esto, whatever. And you're like, what the fuck is this? Pero para mi it was just this thing of like, let me try to educate people not just on food, but all the music I use is from like the 40s to like the late 80s, maybe like early 90s, you know? So I could keep giving people like the culture that like, oh yeah, maybe you were conceived to like this song, you know, babe, I'm gonna love tonight,

lime would always come on. It hits a chord that sends you back in time, you know, to when fantasy would like play on the dance floor and you're like, if I don't make the move right now, I'm a Pamela Anderson. What's the matter? Why do you got a creepy look on your face? I don't know what I can do. Dude, it was so we were walking here. We took the bus because you were talking about like the 80s.

We were walking here. This very nice lady who was probably in her 40s or 50s almost caused an accident, pulled over and got out of the car like he was the Beatles. And like was taking, called her husband. It's crazy. It was, but it's, like I was telling you when we were talking earlier, like the thing that you and Joey have just naturally that I wish I had is just like that energy. And I don't know how you do it. Like the energy that you two can have and get so excited about pastelitos, it's amazing.

And then like you make yourself fly with the smoke. There's puppets on your show. Hilarious, when you make yourself fly with the smoke. It's crazy, because it all harkens back to my love for like growing up, like, oh yeah, my mom would be like, oh yeah, get home from school, you do homework, you get up at 4, go play outside, whatever the hell.

I'd go upstairs and I'd somehow always stumble upon like Penn and Teller, right? And these like magicians and whatever. And then the art of illusion kind of started like, hmm, if I have this angle, right? I have all this space that I could either put something in, I could put a box here that I could just step on. But with the angle, it makes me look like I'm flying here like a fucking rocket, baby. And it was this thing where the art of the illusion,

I try to keep very like old Hollywood, too, you know, like practical stunts, no like CGI, because I don't have, bro, I got Cuban parents. I ain't paying for that shit, and I'm not going to pay for that shit either. Bro, CGI is a hundabinga. Pero it's this thing where if you keep the practical stunt, like kinda like Charlie Chaplin, right? All of his things were all practical, like Buster Keaton too, you know?

Like he'd be hanging off a thing, and you'd be like, oh my God, he's actually doing this, pero it's just the illusion of the painting in the back, y esto, and the camera shot. With all this and trying to hone it into this little like 16 by 9 like frame, I go, I have so much room here that I'm going to try to give them all my energy, you know, so they could stay one like attentive, but every video you're going to watch me like grow, meaning as in like I'm gonna try to get better

at the editing whether it just be something tiny or I'm gonna add a puppet because people in Miami, it's hard to find some talent you know so I go let's bring out the little puppet so and now I have Paco you know and then when I have Paco there it's funny because the kids are also really into it also my like demographic blows my mind because everyone swears on their mother that I have two crack rocks up my nose every time I do a video.

Because it's like, come on everybody, everybody, come on, come on. But no, bro, it's a colada, a little bit of marijuana. And I just go, let's go, here we go. Let's cook some good food, but make sure that everyone gets the same knowledge, fun time and kind of this like escape from like religion, politics, all the shit that's going on for like everyone.

I just give you a space where I go, hey, today you might see Paco, tomorrow you might see Burrito Sabanero talking, but you're also gonna learn something. So when you're out on a date or something like that and she goes, oh, do you know how to cook? You go, yeah, because if you don't know how to cook and you're doing that bro cook just just like you you were saying like take the time go out buy

yourself some nice ingredients right and then when you cook it and you see and just follow along on these very like simplified like it's not about measuring and that's like another thing where it's all about taste and feel even if you don't know how to do it I always tell people solo cocina sin miedo you know like without fear because if you cook with fear it shows in your food and whatever you do you know so if you just go into it where it's like simple steps you first put this y esto esto esto y this and throw all that shit at it. Boom, seven course meal, paraí, but it's nothing fancy, no fucking frou frou. I don't want the Michelin star, porque todo es. It's just a lot of love, a lot of compassion, and just like, oye, this is just me sharing a story with you

and hopefully you like taste this and it'll transcend that flavor memory and send you back in time to when your mom, your dad, your abuelo, your abuela did something, porque that is what I think this generation is missing is that heart like cord of like coño, you know, like I came from like this awesome culture, you know, where These motherfuckers just order food. See, and they get delivered to the house.

They have no culture. It's fucking food. It blows my mind. You got the fucking guy touching your food. Because I don't trust those people. No. I know if I'm driving food and I'm broke, I'm smoking dope, I'm taking your pepperoni

off your pizza. I'm taking a piece of shrimp from you. Yeah, there's always something. There's seven shrimp here. It's pretty weird. Last week I did a podcast with Lee about it. I love to see everything. I love when people tell you a story

how something came together. And I compared it to the new documentary about Led Zeppelin and Pee Wee's documentary. He showed you the beginning stages of something completely different, but it all ended there. Lee talks about energy. You talk about energy.

I learned about energy as a salesman. Nobody wants to buy a car from high. What are you looking for? A V8, yeah, we have them. Let me go get a key for you, okie dokie. They don't want that. They want, hey, how the fuck are you doing? How are you?

Well, we're just looking. Listen, there's a mall down the corner, there's a thousand cars. You go down there and look. Okay, but I'm just kidding you. Listen's a mall down the corner. There's a thousand cars. You go down there and look I'm just kidding you listen. Come on up. My name is Joey. Welcome to fuck in the motor company here Let's do this then you walk inside you like I said, I'm just teasing you Fucking with them you're fucking with them. But at the same time you're pressuring them Exactly, you don't even feel it your pressure with them because if I just come out and go now go to the mall look

No, no, I'm talking to you, but I'm telling you right then you look at them straight the face ago Listen, I'm gonna take good care of you. You're gonna buy a car today, right? I just got you They don't even know what happened Right, you know what happened energy is lost energy is your key to when you want to make a point. Yeah You were gonna see a comment. Yeah. well, and some guys have a deadpan delivery and that's what they do. So you have to respect that. But there's guys you go see that,

you're just making me want to take a shit. I just, I came here to laugh and giggle and you're funny, but you're not taking me there. I got too much breathing in between. I don't want that When a guy wins a fight, how does he want to fight by throwing one punch? No, he fucking berates him He fucking berates him then he sees an opening and he jumps on him and he keeps fucking punching. Yep. That's energy

That's what energy does And it's not something that you could take a pill for, you could do coke, you could do speed, no. Energy is something that comes from your stomach, it comes from within. It's from within you, it's a switch that just goes off. You know, how many shows we do together, a thousand? How many times I complain to you and you about a show,

I don't have no material, but as soon as I hit that fucking microphone, I'm like, you ever see the movie Carrie? I hit that fucking microphone, I'm like give us a movie Carrie Once I touch that microphone There's no I don't give a fuck about my wife my daughter what I'm feeling my foot hurts I just got a hospital doesn't matter because what's gonna sell that joke what's gonna sell your performance? What's gonna sell whatever you're trying to sell, is the energy factor.

The energy factor. I remember coming from LA to New York City, and I would go to the stand comedy club, and I would go outside to smoke a joint, and there was nights I'd have to throw the joint away and go inside because the cars were moving so fast on Broadway, oh where the fuck I was. Vroom, vroom, vroom, lights are was? Boom, boom, boom, lights are switching.

Beep, beep, beep, walk the street. You're like, holy fuck, I don't get this in LA. I don't get this. The only time I get this if I go to Vegas for the weekend. Beep, beep, beep, lights and people walking. Hey! So I would have to slow it down. That's what I'm doing to you.

I'm slowing you the fuck down. I don't want you to get anxiety, but I wanna get your attention. I want people to say, I'm not taking to fuck down. I don't want you to get anxiety, but I want to get your attention I want people to say I'm not taking my eye off him because if I do something might happen. I Want the waitress to drop a dish to drop a fucking thing of glasses and see how many people actually react to her If you're doing your job, they won't react to her That's where energy comes in. Your energy beats everybody else's energy. Energy is very important when you're selling.

You sell on your feet and you close on your ass, but you sell on your feet. That's car salesman shit. So when I was selling cars, I didn't know I was becoming a salesman. A comic. I was already becoming a comic as a... I'm sorry, not a salesman. I was becoming a comic from doing comedy.

I brought that into my comedic career. When I became a comic, people were like, well, I don't know what to do if you don't get work, bitch. You get up on Monday. What are you doing? You need a car. You get there and you call everybody who came in the last three weeks. How you doing? We're having the sale today. There's no sale No, there's no sale, but my energy I'm so excited. This car is in you looked at it I think I spoke to the boss. He says he gave 20% off come here gonna give me 20% off

But I'm selling you to come down. I got to get you to come down that you know, are we comic you talked about the self-tickets? Well, guess what the connection is you making somebody at home Actually get up and come to your show when I worked on the sports betting system So they didn't have credit cards back then so you had everything in Western Union Please are you gonna call me at 7 o'clock and the Celtics are playing at 7 30 or 5? You call me at seven for the hot pick because you lost three in a row and I'm like, we could do this. But you gotta run the Western Union real quick.

Yeah, Jesus. And if you do have a Visa card, you can call Western Union and send me to 500 with the Visa card. But you don't have a Visa card because you're a degenerate gambler. So here's what you're gonna do. You're gonna go inside, you're going to get the $500,

and you're going to go to, you know how many times people call me at 725 with the 10 digit confirmation number? I made them get up off their ass to come and pay me for a pick that's just as good as they were going to have. Right. OK? Just as good as they were going to have. I got the pick the same way they're going to make that pick.

I'm no special in them. What got them to get up? The excitement. You know what, George? What are you doing right now? I'm looking to see what the Knicks are gonna do. You know what I'm doing? I'm getting my dicks up and the chick is rubbing my feet.

That's from what I won Sunday when the fucking Indiana Pacers beat the Knicks. And you know what? If my team wins tonight, I'm going to get two other chicks to rub this one and two other chicks to lick my balls while the other two are here. What are you doing? You're sitting there in your grandmother's house. You want to live like me, don't you?

Yes, I do. You want your dick sucked every day? Yes, I do. Well, it starts by you going on the Western Union and pay me my 500 bucks and I guarantee you, on Friday, I have a game coming on Thursday. If you think tonight's game is big, forget it. I got a game on Thursday, let me tell you what's something you're gonna be doing Friday morning.

You wake up, you're gonna call limo company. And they're there going, what limo company? The limo company. Not gonna matter, cause I'm gonna put 10-5 in your pocket by Friday, I'm gonna talk money. 10-5, that gets you two hookers, a limo, a bag of coke, and I'll get you a free room in Atlantic City. They're never gonna win, so they're not gonna go to Atlantic City, I'm never gonna get them the room anyway.

But I didn't call them and go, hi, my name is Joey. No, I called him, hey, Joey here, grab, listen, listen to me. Grab the fucking pen, because we're not losing tonight. Why am I grabbing a pen? Because your mother sucks, she made a mistake. That's why you're grabbing a pen, grab a pen. You're gonna send 200, I just sent you 200 today. It's the energy, guys.

And that's why his videos will capture you and go, what the fuck is he talking about? He's not even worried about the recipe. That's when you know you're that good. The recipe got nothing to do with this video. I got to the end of a couple of his videos, I was like, I don't even know what he put in that thing. But how do you, as someone who,

I don't feel like I have that energy. And some, but sometimes I do, but how do you just like manufacture it? Like how do you create it? Remember science class in grammar school? Yeah. Kinetic and potential energy. Z.

Okay. What's kinetic energy? Energy and motion. Okay. And potential energy is you standing there, eating fucking amino acids, getting ready to take off, to take that fucking black dude. You gotta chase a black dude He's ten times quicker than you. How you gonna fuck? How you gonna catch him? You're not gonna catch him with your stupid speed You're gonna sit there for 15 minutes and go how am I gonna catch this black motherfucker?

Okay, I'm gonna have to eat this. I'm gonna have to eat this and that's all potential energy potential so when you get to the show at 730 I I'm gonna have to eat this, I'm gonna have to eat this. And that's all potential energy. Potential. So when you get to the show at 7.30, I don't suggest that you do this, but you have to do this. You have to psych yourself up. Same. And tell yourself you're gonna suck. Your mother sucks.

They're gonna bomb you, you're not gonna get paid. You're gonna paint yourself into a scenario. You're gonna put yourself in a corner like a fucking rat. Yeah. And all that's surrounding it is you're not a guy with a broomstick. It's all your self-hatred. All your self-doubts.

I got plenty of that. Yeah, I'm gonna bomb, I'm bald, I'm fat, I got a missing fucking tooth, I got a big nose, I got a band-aid on my ear, they're not gonna like me. I'm 62, I'm old they're gonna all that changes That's where your energy comes from That's when I just smacked you in the face ten times and made you sit down and I'm bragging to George How I smacked in the face ten times and one of the times when I take my eye off you

You're gonna get up with a right fucking hook and level me right in the fucking jaw And it's not gonna be a punch that knocks me out It's the momentum of you coming off that couch with your legs. You're gonna put everything into it I'm gonna go down like a bad habit. That's called potential energy Okay, so I want you to psych yourself out. Okay, so that energy you back yourself into a wall You're not forget about the owners here forget about Who's in the back watching you? This is you against the world. So your energy will come you're not gonna let me just throw you around and fuck you in the ass

Are you? My ass smells. You know what I'm talking about? I don't wash my ass in a week and I have a hemorrhoid. That's how you build energy. It's okay. You're in a fucking hole. You're getting out of that, you're not gonna get out of that hole by going,

hello? Hello, anybody out there? No, you're gonna fucking yell and then eventually, what's, oh, silence of the lips. When she's yelling and she's making the thing and the plan and he gets the dog, I'll snap his fucking neck, you know. Don't kill my boo boo.

Lotion, Clarice. It's time to watch that movie again. When he put his dick between his legs and starts dancing. You know what I mean? She was gnarly, dude. Here's the funny thing, when the guy puts his dick between his legs and starts dancing. You know what I mean? He's like. That shit was gnarly, dude. It's dope, but here's the funny thing. When the guy puts his dick between his legs

and starts dancing, you're like, how'd they know I did that shit? I know! They got me! Because we all did that shit. We're like, oh my god, I got a pussy. Meatball sub. No, I don't take a pussy.

Fuck you. And your energy comes out from the mirror. Fuck you! You have to do a Chef Brad after dark and just come out like that. Oh, yeah. You see, no, yeah. I'll do the meatball sub. You do the up and tuck and then you turn around and then you go, Mira eso. It's like a subway. It's hilarious. No, pero everything you're saying is true. It's the potential and the kinetic energy. Literally, it comes from the moment of like think of it game seven

ten seconds left you have the ball it I put it back there pero también think about all those bitches that fucked you up think about that time that you wanted something so fucking bad and you didn't get it and you go what the fuck can I do to get this shit for me I think the energy came from when I stopped taking 80D pills, right? When I was a kid, 13 years old mom put me on this shit. By 15, I go, no, fuck this shit. Every time I would get in the car, she'd be like, so how's your day? And I'd be like, I want to die.

And she's like, what the fuck? Why? And I was like, no, bro, because I just know how to work the parents, you know? Porque the energy sells, right? So we know when to like, well, you keep the energy down to kind of paint the picture of, well, yeah, I really don't want to do this homework or I'm going to kill myself. And the next day I'm at Dr. Wagner's office and I'm sitting there for an hour and a half, right? And I'm juggling this fucking psychiatrist like a bitch, right? He's there, bro. I'm fucking like 10 years old, bro. And I'm juggling this motherfucker like a bitch.

And he's like, oh, for an hour and a half, just hablando mierda, bro. Just like, oh, so how's this? Whatever, whatever. I look at him and I go, so are you going to ask me? And like, he goes, as you were, bro, I didn't want to do math. And I said that I'd kill myself. He goes, so are you going to kill yourself? I go, no bro,

I just fucking hate homework dude. And this kid goes, or like this psychiatrist, I calls my mom and he's like, oh yeah bro, just take them off, like whatever, just keep them on this ADD medication, don't take them off, right? Every day this bitch will give me these pills, I just throw them in the car seat, one day the fucking dog bro I used to take my dog to school. This dog. I like put it there and like his tongue is all sticky and shit Right, it grabs this little pill and puts it there. Right and I'm holding this dog. This dog just starts getting like heavier, bro I was like, bro, what the fuck is wrong with this dog? This dog was just sitting there. No, no, it wasn't dead. Thank God. This dog, I put it on the chair.

I've never seen this dog just like that. Just standing, just straight up like that. I get home that day, the dog is staring at the wall, bro. Like this. He ate the Adderall. Bro, he ate the Adderall. It was nuts because I would never take it. And then the moment I got off of it, that is when the energy stayed.

All of these different pills because so many girls, bro. Every bitch I know goes. Oh, no, I'm on it with you I just need to take a little pill. Yes, it was it and I'm like bitch. It's my man in Austin I I go game an Adderall. Oh my god. Save me that night though. No, no, I bet I bet pero pero It's like all these bitches. Oh, no, I'm a little sad pink and I'm like bitch You're about to be sadder in like six hours holy shit if you think you're sad now but I bought it. You don't like the outer wall? No I've never done it. I did it and then they switched me to this other one called Quillivan where I was like they're being a bro what the fuck are these names like what are you gonna say

just don't stick anything in my ass you know like whatever but once I realized what it did right where like I'd go to school and by 830 I was like this and then like I'd be sitting there and I'd be like life and time is just moving past me but I want to say shit but I can't then I stopped taking and I'm sitting there in class oh my fucking god I'm there I'm like what's up bitch I need this boy you went to like lengths of like just I loved to like just make sure that everyone was okay, you know? Pero that's where that salesmanship energy and that like you learn it as like everything happens. Pero for me, I always say the pills y todo esa mierda never do them poke it'll just change that energy for you

Energy comes from the passion and all the hatred and all the shit that's hurt you in your life And you just turn that shit around you go. You know what fuck bro This is gonna kill me if I don't do well and when the cameras turns on and when the lights go on it's like It goes away goes away And I told I'm not trying to argue with you the problem I run into tell me is I I'll say that bad shit to myself and I'll talk myself out of doing something. I'm like, oh, they don't want to see this

or this is bad. No. They don't want to hear from me. No. So I don't know how to turn. You're not beating yourself that up. You're working on the day. If you're not thinking about your bits, you're not breaking down your bits here. You're just on the day. If you're not thinking about your bits,

you're not breaking down your bits here. You're just thinking about they're gonna hate you overall. That, you know, you're thinking about all the shit people said to you. You're thinking about the little insecurities you have in your mind, and the energy comes from you proving a point to yourself. And the energy, you know, energy sells.

Energy is enthusiasm. Enthusiasm always fucking sells, you know? Brad, what's your next move? Oh yeah, next move, I hopefully, hopefully I wanna do a cookbook. So either a kids cookbook and like a Cuban like major cookbook too, pero porque my like demographic I feel like is like a lot of kids and like a Cuban like major cookbook too. Pero porque my like demographic I feel like

is like a lot of kids and like people that just need the like recipes. I kind of want to do like a fun like cookbook, you know? Like very like outlandish make it great where it's like kind of like the joy of cooking pero there's pop-ups, there's things. No, you should fucking do. Tell me, demon.

You should take these Instagram pages and do like a fucking, what's that shit that people pay you to make videos? Only fans? No, no. Well, that too. Mira eso. Only fans with a fucking steak on your dick.

You know what I'm saying? Like a fucking. What? With black beans and rice. Black beans and rice. Mira este modo, Maduro from the waist down, bitch. No, what's that shit? Cameo.

Cameo, oh no, I'm on. I would love to, like if I could just call somebody and say I need a video on your recipe. Oh, to see. You know, like a video library that you create, just like what you're doing here. See. You should put all those in video library

and people could always, in the next three years, shit's gonna come out on the computer, it's gonna blow your mind. Oh yeah. And I've always said, listen, the computer is a fucking gold mine for money. If you attack it the right way, there's a fortune under that shit.

And that might be the future. And what I like about your cooking videos, it's not a half hour. No, no. I love that chick that cooks with Snoop Dogg. What's that blonde that was the chef? Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart, Martha Stewart.

Oh, tremendous. All those dishes take an hour. I ain't got an hour to learn how to bake. I don't want to really learn how to bake, or, but bake the most important Cuban stuff, like, patilito de huevo. Patilito de huevo. That's what people like.

I love patilito de huevo. Once you put the cheese on there, you lose me. No, same, same. When I was a kid, when I was a kid, this is how, of a Cuban house I grew up in. We lived on 88th Street. Dessert was always a piece of yaba with the cream cheese and the Cuban cracker.

My mom would drink the coffee and then they would do a line of coke because of the digestion. That was a Cuban dessert in the 70s. A line of coke for digestion. Now they'd sit there and they'd go, man, that line of coke is doing me a lot of good. You sit there, I can't do one, I'm tired.

My tummy hurts. Oh my God, no. I'm happy that you fucking came here today. I wanted people to see what you're about and I want people to go to Chef Brad, to Paige if you wanna learn how to cook Cuban. He's got pumpkin on there, he's got so many different recipes.

Everything. He just doesn't cook Cuban, he makes steaks on there. He does a fucking phenomenal job, man. So follow him. What do you got going on, Ali? You're going to Tampa this weekend. Fuck you, I'll be in Tampa, seven shows, two shows. Oh my God.

Six o'clock on Saturday, seven o'clock on Sunday, I'm headlining the rest of the week, I'm opening up for Greg Fitzsimmons, but six o'clock Saturday. Look at the energy. Look at it. Look at the energy. I'm trying, I'm trying. Motherf Fitzsimmons, but six o'clock Saturday I'm trying my best we have tickets going on sale Thursday or Friday go to the Hard Rock Casino in Fort Lauderdale

tickets go on sale Friday The fourth which is Thursday, I think whether the fourth is yeah Two three four on Thursday the fourth is officially go on sale on Friday for Hard Rock Casino Fort Lotterdale September 6th the night before the Dolphins play. I don't know who they're playing yet So it's gonna be a good fucking weekend who they're playing yet. So it's gonna be a good fucking weekend. Lee will be there, Chef Brad will be there, George will be there, Nick will be there.

We're chartering a flight right from fucking Teterboro. We're going deep. Fuck it, it's a flight for, I'm breaking even on this. I don't give a fuck, I'm breaking even. You're like fuck Newark. You're like fuck Newark. We're just renting a Teterboro. We gonna build a plane.

We gonna do the whole video for them, get 20% off. I'm gonna break even on the gig, I don't give a fuck. Just to save me and my boys, we're on a private jet. Oh shit. Get a steak on that motherfucker, bring a cat. I got it. Bring a fucking cat just to show people the power. Cause we're gonna, I'm flying everything, a cat, a cow.

I'm like Pantacorvo's Deli on 40. I saw that the other day, that's still there, George. When I was a kid, my mother would go there, like if you were doing a Santeria ritual, or somebody was sick, your mother would go get you a chicken. It's on 54th Street and Bergen-Line Avenue. It used to be huge. When I was a kid, it was Italian people,

so they were the mafia. They had bears, they had fucking lions in the back. They could tell you anything, but the front, they had like chickens and roosters and fucking, and the guy was like, fuck, he was missing an eye, and he come out like with a limp. And you tell him, like, let me get a chicken, and as soon as he turned, all the chickens

would run to the back of the cage and start, come on, paga, paga. And he would walk to the cage and just, and start to go, ba-bam-ba-ga-ba-ga. And he would walk to the cage and just, which chicken you want, that one. And he would just stick his hand back there, break his fucking neck and then slam him on his leg. You were like, what the fuck? Ba-gup!

And he would, they had a machine where they'd be feathered it. Remember the feather, they'd throw it in there and the feather would come out and then your mother would give you a little cooked chicken but it wasn't even cooked, it was just pissed out. Fucking tremendous and the chicken was always yummy in that. Fucking, I saw it the other day, I'm like, I can't believe that thing is still there.

People are still buying, that's Spanish people. They don't fucking buy it. Fuck that fucking, what's his name, Purdue. Cuban people don't eat that Purdue chicken with the fucking bagels. It's not Purdue, what's his name, Purdue? Cuban people eat that Purdue chicken with the fucking bacon. That's Cisco shit. Fuck you, they get the real chickens down there. You ever see go to a Mexican restaurant

they actually put the chicken paw in the soup? Remember they put the fucking leg in the soup. College him, baby. You're like, nah, that toes got fungi on it. I'm not eating that motherfucker. So June 4th, Fort Lauderdale Lee Syatt will be at the Tampa side split side splitters seven shows Please go support them and bring them a Cuban sandwich. See he's gonna be in Tampa all weekend with a Cuban sandwich

It's said to be invented. I hate doing that little faggy thing My name is Chad. Hi But uh, yeah, go check Lee out this weekend. If you're in Tampa, follow my man Chef Brad. It's a great follow. The only fucking web page I like as much as his Instagram page. And for you people who have been bugging me for the last month, I'm gonna tell you again. Crazy girl Maggie lives in Columbia. I've never met Maggie. Some guy sent me an email the other day like you're cheating on your wife. I'm like dog, she lives in Medellin, Columbia.

I've never met her. We make videos, she sends me videos, I put them up. Well this has to stop, because it seems like you're cheating. Well okay, then I'm cheating. Long distance I guess, I don't fucking know. She's 20 something, I'm 62. Yeah, that's what she wants. A 62 year old fucking man.

Did you see her body? Did you see her ass? She can have fucking George Clooney if she wants. She's gonna fucking talk to a 65 year old fat fuck with missing teeth. What the fuck is wrong with you motherfuckers? Anyway, get your tickets before Lolladale. I wanna thank Chef Brad.

I wanna thank Chef Brad. I wanna thank Lisa. Look look he's not high today. We gave him a pass this week, we're getting the heavy duty. I had something for him but the shit I'm gonna give him he won't make it to Tampa. And I don't wanna hear him crying, I missed my flight and all this shit. Every Tuesday I gotta call Lee and it's always something.

What, you know how I feel. Lee, what's going on, how you doing today? You know, I don't know Now And I'm like Lee what and then he's like questioning me. How come you don't feel that way? Well, she's I got up I smoked a joint to get a bite of the animal that bit me last night And I'm sweating it out at the gym. Oh Leo sit there. I don't know what to do Well fucking get up cocksucker. Take a shit and smoke some reefer. I do that all the time No, you don't

I know you motherfuckers anyway, we'll see you next week tip top Magoo. Don't forget UFC 316 Don't forget the basketball finals start on Thursday, and I'll see you motherfuckers next week dip top motherfucking magoo stay black Hey, Uncle Joey here. How you guys doing? Listen, it's time to get your brain and your body on the same page with BluChu. What that means is it's summertime. It's time to sling dick. BluChu provides men with chewable tablets to help them have better sex. You'll stay harder for longer so you'll have all the time that you need,

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