Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Best of THE CHURCH! Vol. #1 | JOEY DIAZ & LEE SYATT | The Early Days

Episode Date: June 5, 2023

Clips taken from the following Church Episodes: #170 - https://youtu.be/mzgrb_EBlXg #196 - https://youtu.be/uq4OLVTS_3I #239 - https://youtu.be/n8DI-rEiUAo #241 - https://youtu.be/sjyvDHY672c #247 - https://youtu.be/xhEGGAmw-I8 The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: http://bit.ly/TheMindOfJoeyDiaz #JoeyDiaz #LeeSyatt #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #TheChurch

music Sexy motherfuckers way to cut it Lee. He just fucking cut it. You didn't even do a fucking dragon No, slow in not cut it fade nothing What's happened you beautiful motherfuckers welcome to the church of what's happened now? It's a beautiful day to be alive fucking Thursday, July 16th. What can I tell you? You got the world by the fucking balls. That's all I can tell you right around What did you say? It was a yesterday or today like you have big balls and a in a neck brace I'm showing up with a big dick in a neck brace motherfucker just in case don't get confused

Just case you swallow this fucking helmet your neck goes back. I got you covered. You know, I'm sorry Oh, it's for her. Yeah, who do you fucking think the neck brace is for some guy? Unless your name is fucking Chad or something like that a fucking quarry Something like that you want to go hang out with the boys. You know I'm saying that's it. It's fucking here It's July 16th. You're sitting around scratching. Look at Lee scratching his head. Oh, I got like 10 minutes 100 milligram anti Dolores at a bug in my little corner of the fucking. Oh, it's not at least a hundred probably right Yeah, you took a little fucking piece. I had too big piece. I gave you 30 You should have a line of edibles and it's just everything is 30 milligrams everything everything is always done

Everything's beautiful. Check it out. There's a nice little Look if she don't even put in the bag for us anti Dolores. That's why I love it is a chocolate Death bomb you could fucking throw this on Palestine. I wish they would Unfucking believe it. We're here with queer within do yesterday because I had the Fight companion. So what's the fucking difference? I'm gonna do part two podcasts or one day for and kill myself Let's spread them up. I hope you enjoyed a lot of people mad at me all the time like you didn't talk You were all high. I wasn't either When you're in a room with two fucking got one guy. That's a commentator. There was a fighter. What am I gonna say about a fight?

I throw my two cents in my stupidity and that's where you go back to fucking trains playing in all the mobiles And you go back to Steve Martin. What could Steve Martin had done in the presence of junk candy? He really got squished. What was it gonna say? So all you could do it do is a little body language. There's a couple people they call it They were like, hey, man, you like Muhammad Ali you rope a dope a bitch and you just throw a punch when you need to And that's what I like to do in that prayer You have to know when to strike unless then you become too overbearing So I don't want people to think I was too fucking stoned or whatever

I don't like podcast when you have fought for people trying to talk. Yeah, you know, they're there a conjunction type podcast It's fun for a while But it's different But I want people to understand where you stand in that if you're in a room if you're doing a basketball podcast And you got Julia serving and magic Johnson on the fucking table. What what stupidity are you gonna add to this? Yeah, what stupidity could I possibly add to that tape? I could add a little color to it So please it's not that I was stoned or I was just trying to be quiet I was just listening watching paying some good fights. And you know what?

And it's not just because you were on it But I watched the fur like I watched the full fights with the fight companion. That's a pretty cool way to watch a fight I mean, it's not as in-depth as when Rogan's on like the the pay-per-view, but it was interesting Well, they go on other tangents. Yeah, you know, which is always good, too but I listen man, whatever to make a Anything that helps you that makes a performance interesting. Yeah, I knew it was gonna come down to that One of my friends told me TJ said that Rogan should start a podcast where he commentates along with the With the UFC or whatever the fuck it is

I could see the UFC going to it because I'm sure there's a lot of fans who and Just because I didn't hear them because I had the podcast up I'm sure the commentators last night did a great job But when you have Rogan doing it for song You're people who are really loyal to him and I could see since everything's on the internet is heading towards being on the internet Fuck it. You have three choices of commentators If you know if you don't like the ones we have for free Rogan's on here for an extra buck or or fucking They have another UFC fighter on there on a different one. They could probably have three or four teams

It'd be it'd be interesting. Very intelligent. That's uh, I Never looked at I had a great time. You know, it was the first time I met Brendan Schwab Hello, nice guy, you know, it's amazing that Three of my friends are 26 years old. I've been thinking about that all night. He's 26. Yeah, baby, too, right? He said look him up. I can't tell on this computer It's just really weird that you guys are uh a 26 years old we got into that conversation a little bit on Monday while I was saying that I've been thinking a lot about that lately How I had nothing zero

Zero going on at 26 at 26 I was coming out of fucking prison And the only reason why I had the things I had was because of the girl I was with It wasn't because I was I was like I said, I was making 7 000 a month before I went to prison And having a hard time paying rent like I would have to hide from the landlord for fucking three days because I didn't have the money to pay rent. I always had to get in advance from my job. That's how Fucked up my money situation was that I was

I knew how to pay rent that I knew how to pay bills and everything I just didn't want to pay him. You know, I didn't want to pay anything on time I had a did I have a credit card then yet? Yeah I had a visa with like a 500 dollar limit that I paid. You know, yeah, how old is he? He's 31 Yeah, he's close close. Yeah five years away 31 26. It's it's it's really fucking no difference, but it's amazing And I I that day that you had mentioned it that I had spoken to you about I went home and I was like wow Lee and the Agustin and all these young guys At least they know what the fuck they want to do at 26. They're in the ballgame, you know

I bumped into somebody at the airport the other day and We're bullshitting and he asked me a question. He goes That he didn't he felt really bad about asking anybody else this you ready for this what he said to me goes What do you when do you realize you're gonna leave your house? Did you before you went to college? Did you think you were leaving boston? Yeah, you knew that already. Did you want to go away for college? Well, I uh, I that was maybe one of the mistakes I made I went to a school in boston. It was a good film school. I didn't I didn't particularly enjoy it. I kind of wish I went to uh

Drexel and Philly even though wasn't as good of a program just to get out of boston but And it's a little bit different for me because I went to film school So the only places you can go really are new york and la So it wasn't really even a choice. There's some people who stay in boston, but And and and good for them, but they don't really end up doing it. How old were you when you knew you were gonna leave boston? honestly, honestly, when was the first time It crossed your mind

I don't know about leaving boston. I don't I don't remember that thought but the joke in my family is that since I was two I wanted a job an apartment in a car I've always wanted Just to be older and out I've never and I had a great childhood, but it's just I've always wanted to be out and on my own and it's uh It's just luckily love. I mean for me, uh, I feel lucky that it was easy for me What were the reasonings of you wanting to leave your hometown? I mean, you're a nice kid You never got arrested. You have no warrants. No drug problems. I mean

What was the reason that you think there was more out there? Did you think that? Yeah, I was bored in my hometown and it's a great place to raise kids, but There's like there's there was nothing to do. There's a blockbuster. There's no Like you said you could hop on a bus to new york to get on a bus I would have had to go on like 30 40 minutes down the road. There's nothing where I grew up So how far are you from downtown boston 30 40 minutes? It's I mean it wasn't that far, but it's just there's nothing and if you don't when I turn 16 Maybe that's probably one because when I could start driving

And I could go into the city and go do stuff That was probably around the age when I knew I was going to leave because when I was in san jose That was I went to original joes for breakfast Not at the airport. Oh, I didn't know they had it. They're having a san jose airport And some guy came only because I listened to the podcast. I had a couple few uh situations this week I had that situation where He came up to me. He goes can I ask you a personal question? I didn't know what the fuck was gonna come up At eight in the morning and he goes, when did you know you wanted to leave your hometown?

And I thought about it for a few days. I'm gonna give you the reasonings I never thought I was gonna leave new jersey in new york. I didn't know something else existed. I had been to california I'd been to miami in florida. I'd been to portorico You know, I'd been to michigan for a bitty basketball tournament I'd been to Up and down the east coast driving back and forth to miami as a kid, you know, don't making that run with family or whatever I never knew what life was like. I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you I had been out here with my uncle and I remember the rocks and the beach

and uh Dodger stadium, but not enough to make me want to leave nothing was enough to make me want to leave Right. Yeah, new york. I can't imagine why don't you leave? No, then after my mom died I started looking around and I no no even then I didn't think so really one day I was talking to jimmy bender the first family I moved in after my mom died and I asked jimmy up. There was a trucking company named florida in texas That was the name of the company. That's where they went. No, no, it was just a trucking company Florida texas freight or something like that. It was called when I was a kid

I still think they're around florida texas texas florida something like that And I said it to him. I go mr. Bender. Do you think I go work? At texas florida florida texas and he goes you could do whatever the fuck you want. He goes An interesting question. He always because he didn't hear the whole question He goes I always thought my one of my sons or my daughter would leave He goes none of them ever left. He goes But it'd be great just to go look outside the country because I never thought about I remember looking I'm going no

Florida texas the trucking company goes. Yeah, you could do whatever you want to do But he had already said that to me. Yeah, you know, so I I'm thinking about it and then that's that was the There's always a silver lining and I figured out 30 years later When I robbed that jewelry store when I was a kid and the cops were looking for me I had to go to savor soda florida for four weeks. Yeah And it's it's knowing without once you know you could live without something you don't know you never know You never know like before I went to prison. I'm like, oh, no reefer in prison. I'm not gonna make it

And after the third night of no reefer, that's it. I adjusted. There was no sense in crying There was no sense of yelling or talking about it. Nothing could help We grow through the fucking prison walls. So What the you know I'm saying once you realize you could live without something It's like people always break up after somebody takes a vacation or something Because once they realize I didn't really fucking miss you. I didn't really fucking Think about you. In fact, I was happy you weren't around That makes sense

You know, I was very happy that you weren't around once people realized that they could do without something It was like he ate half of that 750 milligram more And I went home my plan was I only slept for fucking hours last night So my plan was to win the podcast one kaput. I was gonna go home Eat something play with the baby till nine then take a nap I hung out with the baby like I always do. I watch those abc videos and all that shit And you know the wheels on the bus go round and round the doors click click click I watched all that when I played with it and at nine o'clock I went in mean gray

I grabbed gray and I said gray. We're taking a fucking nap cocksucker And I finally popped my head up at 10 to 10. I couldn't fall asleep. So I said fuck it. I got up I wrote the end of the chapter. I sent some emails I got aggravated, you know, me dog. It was a beautiful fucking day to be alive. Then you called me. What happened? Oh, fucking so that candy didn't work on you A little bit, but not really didn't take it wasn't as good as a half of goomy. No No, not those goomies Any more. Okay. No as long as I know but I was just I thought I was gonna get high because it started to kick in

And I was driving home from here because I had a piece of equipment at my house So I went I was driving home on more park Which it's a really small street And right at the world canyon this cop pulled up next to me and his Side view mirror hit mine I just on the left hand side on my driver's side Shit, so I was like fuck and it wasn't me. I was stopped and he just hit it And I just like I froze it was a red light and he stopped and when the green light came up

I kind of pulled up and I was like, I think it's okay guys and they were like pull over What's the thing to make sure I was like, fuck So I pulled up into a little Uh strip market I got out and if it had been broken, I probably would have said let's just go because I didn't I didn't want to be high and fucking anxiety attack paperwork. So I like I just looked and what there was nothing wrong with it. Um But they like I just left and I got paranoid but you didn't get to get out of jail free card and nothing on these cops I should have done so I Was already yelling at tsa. I was like would he fucking yell to these guys?

But I saw some I saw video tonight of like kids at a bar yelling at cops who are resting their friends And cops don't fuck around anymore. This guy this cop tackled the kid and I was like, holy shit. So I was like, no I'm just gonna get out of here. Somebody put a video of a deer Getting shot by a cop there. Why do you people post those fucking videos at night? Why is the inside they that some idiot months ago posted the fucking zebra getting killed by the fucking giraffe I don't get what p. I don't like that. I don't want to see nobody suffering You know, you know who's the worst and she's she's great. She's a melissa eva prez from san jose Every fucking day on facebook two kids kidnapped and burned and it's like no, yeah, she's the kiss attack

She loves that shit worse like why are you posting that stuff? But it's just uh, it was a crazy day But fuck it. We're back. No, we're back. I'm sorry about the audio today. That shit fucking happens. You know what I'm saying? I mean, I can't control it. I didn't get any fucking water. It's unbelievable. No, I'm straight But it was uh, yeah, I went home. My knee is fucked up I put ice on it when I went home when I woke up I put level elevated and about one o'clock. I got bored to death about 12 30 And the heat of the sun I went outside started doing kettlebell swings

Just sweating and I fucking started is that okay for your knee? Cleans, you know what man? I got to do something to move the blood around because I walking Hurts a little bit and I was taking a hit in the bag at the Y I just didn't want to lose my parking spot. These motherfuckers by my house in the tories dog I'm fucking anti anxiety. I am anxiety written over my parking lot I will rather sit home and eat nothing than get my fucking car and lose that parking spot I hold on to that mother. That's how you know you're getting fucking old. Oh, yeah I'm doing two things lately that are just embarrassing to even talk about

I'm doing not leaving the house because I don't want to lose my parking spot. Yeah in front of the house I like that spot in front of the house. I will kill a motherfucker for that But I will walk to the bodega and get like, you know stupid shit. So I don't have to leave the house I got enough food at the house And I'm stealing sweetness From fucking restaurants when I go on the road. Do you put them in a little napkin in case they break? My fucking pocket

It is the weirdest thing because every coffee every fucking hotel room. I go down the road Has a croon egg or a fucking coffee machine But it's only like two sugars and stuff They give you two fucking sugars like you're sitting there at midnight trying to drink coffee watching law and order And there's no fucking sugar. So now you got to call room service They won't open the door because you got no do not disturb so it takes 20 minutes They go right back downstairs and call you. Hi, you do not disturb son is on then you come back up By the time I put the fucking thing in the coffee's goddamn cold. So what was the point of it?

I just get aggravated. Yeah, so I think I got a box of fucking sweet and low at the house Do you think I put it in my suitcase? Fuck no I leave it at home every goddamn week And then I go on the road and I realize at fucking 12 o'clock I need a little coffee because I like drinking coffee at night One cup before I go to bed. I sleep like a fucking soldier Nice because it takes me up and then right down I crash baboon. Okay. You following the fucking that's old school mentality That's cocaine days

What goes up must come down When I was testing the audio and water box are called just because I was bored I didn't want to talk to myself And he was telling me a good way because I was like he was telling me how he does the edibles and he goes out I'm like, how do you do it? He says he drinks is like an energy drink right after he eats the edible So it's like it's like a heroin brings down cocaine brings you up. It's like a little mix. So that's how he walks around

That's good for him. I don't know the water bottle Let me jump out. Did he call the podcast today? He just called me. I was just testing the audio He wanted to see what was crack. I like yeah, I put it up on twitter, but something weird happened today. Uh I was never really emotional But as I get older, I want to hear what you have to say about nine 25. What old I don't know. I'm older. That's what everyone says everyone says I'm young, but I feel old um The the boston bomb. I think they had all the videos today of the marathon. I started getting teary-eyed

I wasn't there for but just seeing the pictures and the people hugging like you weren't in new york for 9 11 But how did that affect you? I was pissed really I didn't get pissed that morning. I was pissed later on because uh I know what it does to people those people that were walking around that day You know, I got pissed when I heard the stories that i'm taking the ferry over like they were just fucking frozen I can't imagine being at the boston marathon last year. That was one of the most thoughtless fucking things Who knows why they did it? Who the fuck knows these people nowadays? Yeah, who the fuck knows? I did stupid shit when I was 21. I would never think of doing something like that for kicks

but who knows what their motors were and uh Whatever and they have a show on ng whatever discovering that National geographic about them getting caught. Did you see it? No, I didn't see it pretty fucking interesting and how they They shot the kid and blah blah blah and the other kid went into a fucking boat and hid How the pictures they they the fbi saw the pictures and when the bomb went off those two that moved Yeah, that's how they knew it was them. It was very interesting how the fbi catches you And now you know, man, we got fucking cameras everywhere cameras everywhere

You have to assume there's a camera watching you at all times even a black and white little fucking porno camera That won't see a dick that you have but it sees you and it'll fucking show you in court You know, some guy'll come in and clear it up and fucking court. So Who the hell knows Lee? I just my heart goes out. So the boston marathon was today, correct? Yeah, it was today and You know what? I'm gonna pick some people off but and tell me if I'm wrong tell me But you're seeing all those people out there and something I don't see out here I don't know what it is, but east coast people in the towns Like so there was so much pride for boston

And I just it made me it made me like I started tearing up and I just made I don't feel that out here for people from this city So maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I just don't don't interact with them. It's an empty city, man I have a lot of problems at this city. I have a lot of problem with friendships in this city and how they work how Everything is to let people know that they know you after that. There's no friendship. There's no friendship You know, uh, when I grew up those were friends. I had around me those motherfuckers. I could count them for anything I had a great time with them when I went out, you know, when I went out I had a good time with them from the heart

Here I see people for a few hours and I feel their fucking death I feel because maybe things aren't going that way. I when I'm around people who sold their fucking soul I leave them and I leave I feel like shit for three or four fucking days People sell their fucking soul. That's the people you fucking people clap for and cheer for and jump up and down for These people sold their souls. You're like, Joey, what do you mean? The devil showed up with a pen? No, no Somewhere along the line they over they ignored something something natural that comes over you Because they thought what they were doing is is completely better than what somebody like you Somebody at home is doing, you know, they have this air to them that they're better than everybody because they have three dollars

Or because they're on tv or because they've done a movie and I never understood that For me, it's always been about the job for me. It's not because I'm better than anybody. I love that I'm not even close to doing that shit But I just that's what I don't like about it. And that's why when you go to a dodger game people leave in the sixth fucking inning You know, that's the big knock about the dodger games. Yeah, parking is hard and walking out of it is hard But it's like that there uh, johnny come lately fans. There's a word for those type of people It's like in panway. It's like after the boston redsox one the boston redsox hat now is fucking as big as the yankee hat Maybe you know, because everybody wants to wear boston for years when they were losing nobody wore boston redsox hat. You understand me

Uh, it's it's amazing the loyalty that we have here. We have no loyalty Like I said, it's between me getting the job or you getting the job I'll bad not fucking leave to get the job even though I've known you for 15 fucking years, you know, yeah Uh, I look at this town. I could tell you I probably have four close friends, you know, and you're one of them You know I'm saying Arey, I mean I that that the rest are just fucking acquaintances because I know I look at somebody and I know if I ever gotten a beef and I had to call them to bail me out The cash wouldn't be there they'd hang up and make up a story how they couldn't get the atm card didn't work

And then I would look at them weird I would never look at them the same way So that's why I don't even put them close to me because I know these people aren't worth their weight in gold It's fucking crazy. But there's a dude in the background of every shot just like Not in his head and I could do that. That's what black people do. No, he's white. He's a white dude. Whatever. He's confused You know, I'm so glad you brought it up. How how amazing does it feel putting powder on your nuts? I love it. It's the best feel. I don't need it as much anymore. I've lost a little bit of weight But I still I still have powder you're rough against the jeans and you don't make that noise

It's fucking monday. It's a beautiful day to be alive We're back. It's a second week of the year. You know, what the fuck? What do you need? All they need is you just looking on twitter five people got shot at a chris brown concert When the fuck are you people going to realize stand the fuck away from that kiss of death? Because that's exactly what that motherfucker is. He was at my gym for a second. He's the kiss of death How the fucking building didn't blow up is beyond me five people chris brown just has this fucking thing even when I see him I'm like that guy. I don't know what the fuck his deal is You know again five. I don't know what the fuck the story is

But if you bring why would you bring a gun to a chris brown concert unless you're going to shoot him? That's what i'm going to shoot his fucking chris brown right in the fucking neck What the fuck it's monday, you know what i'm saying? You got to start the week off good. I might as well shoot Shoot for chris brown in the neck. Whatever the right in that fucking tattoo with a stupid fucking neck What's happening your beautiful people had a great time saturday night. You came to the melrose improv Thank you very much. We had a great time. Lee was there with the girlfriend There are a lot of cool people there. Yeah, einstein from 10th planet cova city My man, uh, what the fuck's his name all the all the renais was there

Who else was fucking? I mean all different 10th planet van eyes. Oh, he was there Hassan was there From g mac. I mean there was just some fucking renais and caution. He's probably at disney land. Yes They said it was rainy. He flew in from new york with a girl. He's just like fuck. I'm gonna take a vacation Yeah, that's how you do it and then didn't someone else come from like australia and then england. There were some people there So it was cool. I got stoned as fuck. I ate some stars We had a star david this morning. Did you eat it? Of course I did bullshitting me. I was watching you watch me

Like until until I stopped chewing you like you you're watching me, but you're not watching me I gotta watch you like a hot cock sucker. You know, uh, when I do these shows now, I feel different, you know On stage and I feel different when I'm there and I gotta tell you something. It's a good time for comedy right now It's a very good time for comedy if you live in the LA area And you stop by the comedy store. It's a good time for fucking comedy, you know at the improv the other night It's a good time for comedy when I'm at the laugh factory. It's a great time for comedy, you know It's something's different. It's like the good guys won finally You're not watching this shit that comedy central puts out and all these other fucking stations put out, you know network

You're watching the underground shit come out now The shit that people wouldn't talk about and it's all through twitter And social media and it's coming out on the network now like little extra was just on tv already on tv next friday, let me tell you something man Right now the funniest guy working in sebastian manaskako I haven't seen anything but a tight close second is arish afia. I'm telling you this right now guys I'm not telling you this is my friend. I'm telling you that but the material at arish thrown right now about biggie And going to china and taking a shit

It's some of the funniest shit i've ever heard and stand up and i'm not telling you guys this is He's my buddy. I love him to death, but i'm really proud of him. He tore it up in las vegas that night with rogan I was sitting there going what the fuck am i gonna come up with Because this guy's killing him. He was I'm killing him killing him killing him killing him. So You know bill burr is out there now. I mean, it's just so his special for me is friday night already Yeah, I think you can buy it pretty soon on his website. Okay, but yeah, you could he said something crazy Like he he he shot like 70 minutes and only 40 something's gonna get on tv

So for five bucks. I'm just gonna go and buy it and get the whole 70 that's friday night on commonly essential Yeah, I think it's the 11th to 12th. It's like that night at midnight. So it's Saturday morning. No, no, it's not the 12th And it's friday. Okay, it's friday the 16th. Yeah, let me check and then the 17th we're doing The riot That like riot comedy festival, right? I'm doing the show saturday night with our magical. I think tj millin arie And it's called revenge the theme is revenge, which is fucking perfect for me And then his show comes out that you're on

When does that the following thursday night Well, the whole season starts like eight weeks. I think right. I'm on the last one Oh, really? Yeah, I'm on the last. Oh cool. I'm like in fucking april or something like that I don't give a fuck. Hey, listen, man. No for our comedy central does not even look at me For arie to go to bathroom with comedy central. I own my fucking life, you know That's a type of kid. He just told him from the jump. He's doing it because he was there from the beginning So it's the 16th at midnight. You gotta admire that because the 17th we're doing a riot festival. Whatever. Fuck it is do you think uh

Do you do you wish you had been on comedy central? Yes, and no, I just didn't like the fact how they shunned me from the beginning But listen, man, that's the beauty of life. Some people like you and some people don't like I never really It made me work on a different direction. I at least I knew that door was closed to me I don't want to live my life going. Ah, maybe You know, at least I knew that they didn't want to do business with me It all started when joe did the man show and I came out naked running They all banned me for that. They kind of like it was like a silent type ban

But then years later, they took a couple comedy pitches from me. They called me in for a few comedy pitches and then My name's been thrown around for specials or whatever involvement on midnight and stuff like that And they just said no, you know flat out. So, you know, I hear everything. Yeah, I hear everything even when they're working You know This chapter on this thing of revenge when already called me goes are doing this It was really weird because it's going on in a weird part of my life. I'm trying to write this book I'm writing the book about the rocket ship. I live in that rocket ship in 84

And I didn't know till I was writing the chapter about living in a rocket ship in 84 on the way here I made a left and I went down that alley and I saw a guy sleeping out next to a shopping cart Yeah, and I kept going I go. I wonder what if you know, I Said to myself, I wonder what it feels like tonight to sleep outside. I go, you know what? I slept outside many a fucking night. I slept outside in the car here in LA for about three or four or five months And in 84, do you get any sleep when you're sleeping outside? I can't imagine you get any sleep I don't it depends how fucked up you are. I see if you ever been walking you just see a guy like dropped Yeah, and you got to walk over him like that guy just got tired and fell

Like that guy just said fuck it. You know, yeah, you sleep you sleep with one eye. You got money in your pocket You don't know somebody's going to run up to you and stab you while you're sleeping, you know If I'm walking down the street and I'm a killer and I'm looking to kill somebody. I see a bum I'm gonna shoot him right in the fucking foot, you know something he's sleeping You know, there's no resistance if I'm a fucking psychotic person, you know And it just sleeping outside just does something to you you sleep a few hours You sleep like I slept outside when I was a comedian, you know, many a nights I had to take a bus somewhere and There's a four-hour delay. What are you gonna do?

Hey, you got to fucking sleep you sit in a bus station You put your jacket on over your head you put your money in your front pocket You put your hand in there and you put the bag next to you and try your best Yeah, but there has to be a difference between my bus is coming in four hours and I got nowhere to go Oh, oh, that's a fucking lily. Yeah, absolutely. You have nowhere to go and you You know, you wait for the heat from the sunlight I mean, I'm being on that fucking rocket ship and doing coke in there like it's a a three-foot Someone posted a picture of it. I thought it was I thought it was horizontal. It's vertical

It's vertical. Okay, and it has a couple different floors and there's a beam in the middle and that's how you get to the top I would just chill in the middle floor just in case I had a pee or pee off the railing Or whatever, but you had a snort in the three feet I would actually go in there with booze by myself at night And then I would hide like a blanket and you know, I do dumb shit, you know But I know what it's like to be outside. It was november and december in jersey I mean, there's snow. There's snow. It's fucking cold out so

I thought about the rocket ship You know, I wrote it I wrote a general thing living in a rocket ship when I go this nobody wants to read this you have to describe what you were going through What it felt like at the end of the night to not only come down off the coke and get depressed But then you're naturally depressed. You're living in a fucking rocket ship. Yeah, you know the weight of everything was on top of me but on that weight was a A pain that I had had like I was 21 and

I was just sick and tired Sometimes people just get sick and tired and I always know I want to leave jersey. So I came out here to see my uncle and I came out to To get you know, listen life throws curveballs at you And then people throw curveball at you, but you know, your family's always going to be there you know This last Thanksgiving I've been talking to my uncle since 2009 and this last Thanksgiving. We were gonna get together

And do Thanksgiving. We had a month podcast. We had a month podcast And the monday before Thanksgiving my cousin called and she said hey, he doesn't want to do it He wants to go to a restaurant and in a way it helped me out because it got me off the hook I didn't want to bring the baby down with the turkey in the car and all that so I started thinking about it You know what? This is perfect. So and he called next thing he goes. No, I didn't say that So I said to him listen what I'll do is this we're gonna go get the turkey We'll eat here and we'll see what you're doing later on if you don't want to go out with your girlfriend or your son We'll bring some food down to you

Well, I called him that day and he goes no my son's here. I'm gonna be all right But if you want to stop down later, that's fine too with the baby. I go, all right So that was the week I had the the vertigo So we went out we took the baby out. I went back home and I fell asleep I had vertigo. I laid down on it. I called the next day. He didn't answer the phone He didn't call me back. I called him a couple times. He didn't call me back Which meant he was pissed off at me Christmas Eve. We get invited to my cousin's house his son's house he's there

And we're cool, but we're not usually cool. He's not saying much to me So I can I can tell he's pissed off over Thanksgiving Which he he should have told me directly instead of telling his daughter He should have told me what was on his mind instead of mentioning to his daughter That his daughter told me and I just love, you know, when somebody lets you off the hook They let you off the fuck. Oh, you don't have to be there sunday at 6 30 You're like fine often. They call you back on our letting go. No, no, we switched it to 6 30. Fuck you I already made plans. Yeah, you know, so

Old school that tonight. Fuck the guests pull you cocksucker. We're going straight up tonight old school Check in with you guys. It's been a while. We've had a lot of great guests from sarah tiana to rich franklin to joe rogan to Gabriel to rafi. You're on the way back. Do you see what gabriel is doing? What's like a week in one theater in Chicago did like 20,000 seats? Oh, please He fucking kills america. Then he comes here. He does three nights somewhere in anaheim And then two nights, then he's off for fucking new years and it's over if I got out of work early Tomorrow we'll go to his christmas party. Oh, yeah, the work girl. I don't know what time again

It's supposed to rain here In LA if you guys don't know when it rains in LA everything goes fucking caban So if you got to leave for work and be there at eight you leave at seven you got to leave it like 5 45 I'm I wish I was lying to you fucking guys. It's a sad truth They fall the fuck apart when you live in colorado and it snows It's amazing how it didn't affect them at all Like snow was just another day for those people like it's not a foot People still on time at work, you know when you live in new york when I lived in new york back in the 80s and it would snow

The city would shut down. This is a huge metroparth in the city with so many things available to it Excuse me and the city would shut down in a small town like aspen colorado It snows a foot and it's gone in two fucking hours My mom calls me a wimp now She called me wimp the whole week because I said it was like cold. I was chilly was like 55 degrees And she's coming from boston. She's like you're such a wimp now. Oh, no, this is it was cold in the fucking mornings Listen, you're talking to a guy that used to fucking bathe in this 40 degrees now I get out of the shower and I yell at my wife when I'm putting the heat on

Like take the fuck she puts it on for a little while and she turns it off She goes it gets too hot in here too quick. But if you turn it off when I come out of the shower, it's freezing I like opening the door and that bust of heat hits you and it drives you off the last couple spots you having You know fucking dry it off But it gets uh, you're not used to the weather You're not used to the cold weather no more But last week we had rain friday We were in a few days last week the big storm was friday

And that was the day for some reason. I didn't have to be at work till seven But I kind of like a 430 Because in my sleep, I was worried about the rain. Yeah, they said they're gonna call Worked for the movie the next day And they pushed it back, but we still worked and they cleared up But they were scaring fucking white people Scaring them don't go to work. The 91 is backed up. You know how long it took me to get to see me valley 20 fucking minutes. Yeah with the rain. I got the Subaru. I kicked that motherfucker. Well, it's always four-wheel drive

And if it hits a puddle the other time it picks it up. That's how the Subaru engineering works It just picks it up where a tire if it if an hydro planes or something I got to I got to the fucking set in 20 minutes. I couldn't believe it. They were scaring fucking Gentiles to death on tv We don't think we talked about it. Why did they decide not to get like a Cadillac? I've never been big I I don't like how in LA Everybody judges you by your car. Yeah, it really bothers the fuck out of me I was telling my mom a lot of people here have like Porsches and BMW and studio partners. Everybody has a series 3 BMW here

You know, if you see anybody in the industry a junior agent and then as they get there for a while, they get a five series Listen, I'm not here to impress anybody. I'm here to impress myself. You know, I like the Subaru. I like feeling safe I like knowing that if it rains I could think a Cadillac's a great car and whatever but I can't pay three to four hundred a month and not sleep at night if something does break down I've always had great success with Subarus and Toyotas. Why would I want to change it now at this point? Yeah, if I start making an abundance of fucking money. Yeah, my second car would be a Cadillac or something But then I'm gonna have a family so I can't be Selfish and have to be like, you know, you know, I'm saying I just plus with with your daughter

You don't want to have like messes in the back of a Cadillac. I guess Listen, she could do whatever the fuck she wants. How does that pay for the car? It's my fucking car, you know They're gonna throw apples on the kids are gonna be kids. Yeah I went to the park with a Saturday and there was a socket thing going on the socket camp and it was kids her age a little older Some kids knew what the fuck was going on. The other kids were just too much They were just there out in the sun walking around half fucked up

There was a camp for like two year olds and one for like four year olds And I'm walking around I'm watching those two year olds because I could see if I could put her in here My wife and her a batlet. I'm like, what's going on? She goes. She wants to go down. I go Like, well, you're gonna sit there and battle with him. You got to pick your battles with these kids She's gonna run down there. Anyway, she's gonna walk around touch the net touch the ball and then she's gonna walk away from those kids No, she's not I picked her up walked her down. That's exactly what she did. She kicked the ball She saw 20 kids. She looked around. She goes, I don't need this Myself she walked away

But we signed her up. That's cool. She's going next saturday of 11 o'clock Yeah, even though she might not like it. She'll like it. It's kicking the ball. It's running around falling in leaves They got two coaches there. They coach you they tell you what to do You know, she's mingling. This is what they're supposed to do. So they grow up with fucking social skills You you know, you gotta wonder all this should they talk about cops and all this, you know When I was growing up cops are more involved with you in the next neighborhood There was the same cop patrol in the same neighborhood He got to know you if something went on he came and saw you you talked to him

He asked you questions and now you have all these complaints of cops and an aggressive behavior You know excessive force excessive force. What the fuck they want to call it And that's because maybe they don't have the right social skills. We do live in a computer generation Yeah, we're very computer-generated. We're not when I used to dealing with people. We leave the house Scared if you watch the news Everybody is fucking fearful, you know one good thing about the church. I was thinking about this When I first got into the church when I got into beauty and the beast or the church

It wasn't to expose bigfoot. It wasn't to expose steroids. It wasn't to expose Hollywood people are gay. It wasn't to expose anything It was to expose life's bullshit that we get fed and either you believe it Or you fucking don't and move on, you know And uh, do you get nervous bloke? Because I went to the movies with my mom today and for a second when they were doing that thing Like if you see any suspicious people tell somebody for a second I was like, what would I do if a gun a gunman came in here? I'm here with my mom when I'm by myself

I don't really worry about it But like do you worry about it now we'll go when you're going out with mercy and I worry about everything and everything And and you'd be an asshole if you wouldn't You'd be an asshole if you wouldn't Every day you go on twitter and there's an explosion somewhere 14 people got killed that guy in australia The guy in australia every fucking day people you get up every morning And if you have a half a heartbeat And you weren't an asshole like I am that we actually look at that shit

To start your morning. We actually look at that shit to start your morning because I do I'm guilty of it I write I won't put the fucking news on and I won't hear visually But while I'm streaming on uh google or whatever the fuck my first page is yahoo You see what happens, you know 14 children get killed in africa whatever the fuck you you know And it stays with guitar today. I'm not listen. I'm not the type of guy that would blame police officers for anything I know what life is on both sides of the shield I've seen cops that are stressed out and I've seen people that are stressed out. They just have a bad day I know one thing about life leave people have bad days

You know, there's a guy that you see that he killed his wife put in a chunk of the car and then took the three kids Oh, Jesus. No, they showed his picture. He's all cracked up and shit. I mean I don't know a bad day for that. I know that there's bad days that uh People just leave the house and they have a weapon and they got out of a car in a cops, you know There's bad days. Did you ever fight with the cops? I know you dealt with them a few times, but no I couldn't file a complaint against a police officer Because every time I've had contact with a police officer. I've always pretty much been a gentleman When I was a kid I got hit one time by a cop with a stick

In a big melee. I was a young kid like maybe in the seventh grade. Really? I never had this It was the night that we felt up that chick's titties and shit after that basketball game There was a fight first on the thing and a cop hit me and I didn't know who it was and I was wasn't mad at them I could have been an asshole and made a big drama Because I always start from his side of the fucking thing. There's a guy that's just telling us to go and You get hit with a stick, but I've never been ever assaulted before I've always had good relationships with cops like when they've arrested me. I've been cool

Because they just doing your job your job or your job is to shut your fucking mouth And don't argue with him and don't tell him that this is what really happened. Don't say a fucking word That's the best thing you could do. Yes. No, thank you The handcuffs hurt they don't fucking hurt But for me to sit here and say pigs suck and all that I can be that type of guy I never have been They did a job when they arrested me and they did the best job. They could I can't lie to you. I've never really had Yeah

Because I go back and forth sometimes like should I be protesting? Like I don't like I don't know like is this like is this like an important thing to be doing But I Have you ever protested before? No I just what are you gonna do gonna get a stick with a fucking sign and walk down there You would kill me if I if you saw the mistake I lived in Boulder and I saw protesters on the cia would come to town And they come to recruit on campus

I don't know if they recruited they took applications or they spoke to applicants or whatever the fuck And there was always little wars on then these kids would go down and then I figured out who these kids were that You know, there were trust fund kids that just wanted to get some form of attention I got it, you know, unless you really believe look like I I just it's not that I don't like protesters and what they stand for Is I think that sometimes people are down there protesting and they don't even know what they're protesting for right They're just protesting to make friends It was like that thing I always made fun of that thing that happened downtown years ago

It's on the wall streets on it. Yeah, the people who were going to shut down the corporations But meanwhile they calling their mommies on the iphone, you know, she's making videos and sending tweets out You're not You're not shutting nobody down. This is what a complete shutdown is throwing all that shit away You can't stand online on apple for your fucking phone and all that Yeah But you weren't to something very interesting. That was the cop technology. I never I always knew they had a job when I was a kid

I was exposed to cops that came in once a week got an envelope and that was whether it was the bookie place in the Bronx For a long time when I went to catholic school on saturdays. I helped out this other bookie trail And they always had a relationship with cops and it was a known thing that listen. We're gonna do this for business Nobody's getting hurt. Nobody's getting bit slap when I sell them drugs here Here's an envelope just to make sure everybody knows we're on the legit side Some people would judge me and say that's the wrong you could never pay So that's not from the movies like they would actually do that. They have cops. Do you consider them dirty cops? well

there's Fucking jerks and there's gentlemen And that's an every fucking business. Yeah There's jerks and there's gentlemen There's guys that come in and go leave. How you doing? My name is detective. Whatever This is great that you have a new bar here And everything's fine here, but from 12 to 5 a kid works here. Joey Diaz. He's a known felon I know he takes book here

And I know that if somebody wants to get a gun or maybe a kilo of coke He could arrange your phone We could shut you down Right now I could call the abc And shut you down for employing this guy, but I'm not gonna do that What I'm gonna do is I'm gonna send somebody in here once a week. You know, give them an envelope Let's say what do you pull out here a week? Let's say I'm real life Lee. You pull out 13,000. They're gonna say 10,000

And you're gonna go, okay. Oh, he got me every week. We want 400 a week All right, that's one cop who comes in shakes you down. This is the old days. I don't know what happens today This is when my mother had the bar You're never gonna see that guy again Okay, every week a patrol guy's gonna come in. So let's say that guy came in Now wait, then this gonna be that's a a sheriff. Okay, then the city cops are gonna come in. Oh, no And he's only wanted 200 and you're gonna agree to that What's the story though? What the fuck you've been hiding all weekend last time I saw you

I gave you a brown you're gonna eat with a bunch of uptight fucking people And that's why you gotta load up when you're gonna hang out with people like that It's okay. You hang out with people like that from time to time because they make you seem how lucky you are to hang out with crazy people Yeah, I was telling steve and I don't remember if I've said that on the podcast but One of the my favorite things about podcasting is how cool like we get to have these cool conversations that no one has in regular life anymore Like I feel whenever I watch old movies or tv shows I always watch because I've basically forgotten what it's like to live without a cell phone or internet

like I I was 10 or 11 or something when that started coming out, but I honestly don't remember So I always look and see what people used to do and a lot of it was just hanging out talking like doing activities And that's what and I went to this thing and they were all very nice, but It was supposed to be a birthday dinner and maybe I was just high in paranoid But it seemed like everyone was very quiet. So like I tried to produce the dinner conversation but uh I meet the birthday girl

And she goes oh and they were talking like oh, I was in japan for two years I was like, oh, were you there during the earthquake and she got really sad And I realized after I asked it that it might not be the best thing to bring up on her birthday But I was like and she's like, yeah, I was I was like, um, no, what's this? It's fucking crazy like I've always Every once in a while I have a friend he invites me to something and I get to him like, oh my god. What have I done? They start talking about like I don't even know this like they're talking about, you know, you try to

And the best thing to do is just shut your mouth act civil giggle, you know smile You're always bond with somebody. There's always some other nothing there that you and him on I was the only guy there. Yeah. Oh, no. Yeah, that's even see you got yourself. You got to cut that shit out too That's something you gotta see she was good. But yeah, it's one guy with five You gotta cut that shit out. Yeah I got lost on the way from the train to the restaurant because I was so high I couldn't really understand what my phone was saying So I just walking around downtown And then it was scary on the way there

It was like that star wars when they go into hyperspeed or whatever and the light and the lines keep going Because the train was going really fast and then there was this homeless dude Who was hammer and he had his shoes off And he was having a conversation with himself and he was crying and laughing And I had my headphones in because you're trying to like Focus on like a podcast or something and he was just hysterically laughing and then he'd go to crying And it was he was just hammered. So it was like I'm fucking high right now

No, he was anytime you're on the train Lee. There's gonna be I love it. I I loved I love that about Boston New York's a little bit more New York I can never figure out the system because I've only been there a few times and there's express trains And shit like that and there's too many lines. So there's an a train and that's all a broadway type deal. Okay, then there's the express That's 178th street I think it just takes you right down to like if you're going under don't quote me on this 125th Maybe 70 seconds. I don't know. I don't think I ever went that high. That's like harlem. That's what I'm saying right that's all I'm up there, but

You know that like the number one and all that shit the queens. I don't know don't quote me on this anybody I don't know the the trains anymore. I don't remember that. That was a long time ago But I always had fun for me. It was a bus growing up. Oh, yeah For me, I wrote a bus I sit like a school bus or like a city bus like a city bus You know, and it was a straight line. It was number one Oh, I went from New York to New Jersey or vice versa. That's how I traveled in those days, you know Two bucks to get you into the city You stop your little bottle of blackberry brandy. Maybe you're fucking eight pack of beer

Put on the bus. Nobody was saying until those days a 20 minute ride You drink three beers couple shots of blackberry brandy. You're in the city tuned up already anybody, you know, it's just uh It's what you could get away with what you could do. You're not gonna get on the train drunk and drink But you gotta do a little shot to something you're gonna put it in something. Yeah, it doesn't look like the obvious What was your what would you go to? Uh, uh, Gatorade really a vacuum Gatorade poop off vodka And then when you get a little bit more money you get to Walsh mit whatever the fuck that is

The silver label and that's why I can't drink vodka anymore because a little plastic chug or jugs We had as kids that like that someone buy or something. They were disgusting Tasted like paint thinner. I can't do vodka anymore Yeah, you gotta get yourself out of that fucking one guy You gotta ask her now. Is there gonna be men there? No, not really. It's all right I'm gonna do something. I'm gonna fight fucking women talking about what I'm sitting on like a fucking momo Looking around thinking about a gun I used to have a girlfriend another girl used to take me to those things

Let's go out with my friends. You get to the six fucking women at the table and you're like, what the fuck do I do? Yeah And I always get like a call. I don't even know I always get myself out of it. I fucking make something up I gotta go I gotta call my friend in jersey. Maybe he's gonna pick me up. I'd always do something fucking ridiculous That's always been like my fears falling into that Woman room. I give him to that fuck. What do you think's gonna happen? It's just I'm gonna hear shit I don't want to fucking hear you get four or three women together and you sit there for more than eight minutes

You'll want to fucking shoot yourself. I love women I love but when you get three or four women in the room and they start talking about what's important to them and shit You you you will fall off your fucking chair In a laughter and an aggravated You want to kick one of them? Like one of them will start like one of them will just break your fucking back Yeah, and you'll like them whatever but when you get a couple of them together longer than 20 minutes You want to shoot yourself? No disrespect to women. I love you

But I'm just telling you how it is what the what the world on the street is I just love the way you put it. They start talking about what's important to them Yeah, I'm like, what the fuck they talk about the the store. Whatever the fuck, you know, and you sit there and go Wow, how did I end up here? What the fuck did I do to deserve this torture? You start thinking about torture Like what people define as torture like hum this up your asshole Oh, he's sitting here listening to this shit for an hour. What is worse to you hum this up the asshole or six women at a sushi dinner? I'll tell you what fucking I didn't know how much what bothers me to know and

Cotton in my fucking mouth Like I don't wait to touch a cotton at all except when it's wiping my asshole That's it. I don't like cotton. Do you like cotton balls cotton or gauze Yeah, like the other day the fucking dentist but gauze in my mouth when he was doing a root canal That bothered me more than needles Fucking everything. Yeah, I don't like it has a weird texture. Yeah, I don't like cotton close to me in my mouth and my fucking head It drives me fucking nuts. You understand me. I don't know why it just drives me fucking nuts Will be how did you get high before the root canal?

Uh Sure, I haven't been there nine in the morning. I got blasted like seven fifteen like a motherfucker That's always my fear. I know like I feel like pain would be super intense on weed No, well, if this is the problem if you take the gas You might go to a weird place The fuck is what the fuck is that son's anarchy is outside. Listen. There's white people shooting fucking black people cops I can't breathe. What the fuck I don't fucking I don't fucking know. I can't breathe

You ordered one of those shirts yet so you can walk on to show solidarity. No, there's no solidarity, you know I mean, what do you I'm gonna tell you that's fucked up though The cops gonna kill no, please if this is a complete You know, you want the best is all we're gonna put body cameras on them You can show but the the the the the the they had everything but a fucking camera crew on that thing when they chubbed it They choked like that Yeah, they had everything but a fucking camera crew, bro. They're going to the fucking floor. That's murder That's murder and any other fucking city would you invite on murder there? Yes, you fucking would

That's murder. I saw it. You saw it, but They had they're the fucking power supreme now. They're gonna dig themselves into a fucking hole Yeah, now we started now. They're gonna get copycats and every year we go through a trend Three years ago was the children going fucking bananas at schools and morons Blown themselves up at movie theaters and shit, you know, I'm trying to watch Batman And this guy wants to be fucking Clint Eastwood all of a fucking sudden I need this shit most and they take a picture It was like bozo the fucking clown Obviously somebody sat him down

Smacked him gave him a pill and sent him to the movie theater loaded to the gills like Rambo says shoot everybody in there You're on a mission from satan. You know that poor kid is half retarded. You can't tell that poor kid's half retarded Yeah, somebody sat him fucking down Bits lapped him Tom Martians want to stick a grenade up his ass to go shoot the fucking movie to that poor kid You know, you could tell so somebody else is going to strike now and start shooting fucking cops Let me ask you something I I have dear friends of the cops. I grew up with a lot of cops. I as a criminal

I've never had a beef with a cop. You'll never hear me on On a podcast or anything call a cop a derogatory name. That's why I've always had that attitude That's why I've never had that problem with police officers. There was one cop In my 51 years on this planet that I had a problem with and that was the cop that got a sign on the veller kidnapping Me and him went back and forth For fucking months Like you came to your house and told you they were coming for you and stuff like no no no This was a a guy that took his job a little bit too fucking seriously

Now the veller kidnapped and he became You know, johnny saint on the scene He looked at it from a different perspective. He didn't look at it from anybody's perspective. He had a different outlook on it Which I forget what the fuck it was He had the outlook that you guys were scumbags when you took this guy down and there was no drugs involved. You were trying to rob him You know, there were drugs involved. There was just no trace of drugs. There was a scale that was cleaned off And there was like other paraphernalia, but there was no proof of the fucking drugs So

They they were saying no you guys tried to rob and that was his intent from day one this guy But this guy didn't let up on me at all Even after I went away to prison and I came back for the community service hearing. He was there And he was waiting against me all the fucking way And there was a couple times we had just verbal exchanges You know, he was a big guy, but I hate him that much and he hated me, you know His hate for me In turn made me fucking hate him because I knew you know, yeah

But besides that, I've never really had a problem with any fucking cop No, I mean it's but it's it does suck when people take their jobs too seriously Like I would in line it for 30 minutes today at ups. What the fuck happened to you? By your words UPS, what the fuck were you doing at ups for 30 minutes because I had a gift that I had was going to get delivered And I I wasn't at my house because you can't wait at your house from 8 a.m to 8 p.m And I wanted to go pick it up saturday, but they wouldn't give it to me. So I had to go back today Why didn't they give it to you saturday? They said even though I called 800 number. I didn't put a formal request to get the package

So I came back It's just bureaucracy like a motherfucker and then they weren't going to give it to me because my id doesn't have my new address on it And I I was so I was this close To like ripping their computers and throwing it on the wall. I I was fuming but it just it's uh I worked a lot or I looked I worked three or four retail jobs And restaurant jobs and I worked for five or six years. It's tough. It's not dealing with the public very tough But the thing I'll say is I think they're going to run into an issue Asking for $15 minimum and hour wage minimum wage

Because I don't think a lot of these people working there deserve 15 an hour. So they're going to lose their jobs Because a lot of these people are just It's it's beyond the word ups every everywhere. I was at target today. I was at CVS today And I don't know if they're over the service Has gone down horrifically in this country like they judge everything by labor versus workforce You know everything is done by a fucking formula you walk into Listen, I do all my business with CVS. The only reason why I go to CVS is I love the two girls And it isn't their fault

It isn't their fault. Yeah, they got two girls working there one is filling prescriptions The other one is taking prescriptions and picking them up and giving them the people breaking down the prescription to drink up with Two every four hours. What's that for every two hours? No two every four hours. Oh my god. I need glasses Well, we'll talk about late, you know, it's two fucking hours Right, it's tough and the phone's ringing pharmacy line one pharmacy line two pharmacy When I go to CVS now I prepare for a 25 minute wait Right. I work the CVS for two years

I grab in I get what I got to do my nasal shit the fucking viscine for the reefer eye I get whatever else I need tape for my wrist for jiu-jitsu. What the fuck I need I stand on line. I just stay take the beat So when I get there, that's it and it bothers me because the front counter has the chicklets The bite size like a motherfucker. I need one package of those to get me straight Once a week and I'm good, you know, I'm saying there's a gas station on a little canyon by your house Yeah, they got them so the way not to calm me so I pull over there and get one package before my sets It sets me straight. Some people do steroids

Some people do drugs before they sets I pop those little fucking little chicklets. You love gum. You have like a gum by the liquor store that we go to The mexican gum before the thing. I love that and then on the way down to san dieo The time when you guys super high you put an entire pack of gum in your mouth when I'm fucking stoned to the gills I'm driving. I'm falling asleep. I got a pack of gum going that works the fucking jaw like a hooker giving 10 blow job So You