Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Best of THE CHURCH! Vol. #2 | JOEY DIAZ & LEE SYATT | The Early Days

Episode Date: June 12, 2023

Clips taken from the following Church Episodes: 170 - https://youtu.be/mzgrb_EBlXg #196 - https://youtu.be/uq4OLVTS_3I #239 - https://youtu.be/n8DI-rEiUAo #241 - https://youtu.be/sjyvDHY672c #247 - https://youtu.be/xhEGGAmw-I8  The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: http://bit.ly/TheMindOfJoeyDiaz #JoeyDiaz #LeeSyatt #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #TheChurch

Music The things you hear out here, the things that you go through out here, on the commitment level, on different levels of acting and stand up and, you know, for some people, this is a flash in the pan and you see them three years later, I don't even do this no more. They're doing something completely different now because this was too hard or this is for faggot. So you got to be gay to be in Hollywood. You know, you know, you know, be comics of common fucking gone. And you see him years later, oh, you're still out there.

And they make a little, yeah, I'm still out here bitch doing nothing. In the sun, lifting fucking kettlebells while you're out here sweating your fucking life or I got insurance I got a fucking pension. I wasn't supposed to have things like that. You heard my fucking story You know I'm saying so I don't know yeah, I understand where you come from. I don't give a fuck if you get heat No, and there's some solid people out here Oh, it's not the people but and it's maybe it's because I I've met a lot of people that aren't in the entertainment business that are very solid

Oh, yeah, when I go to town like with you're in all those places to do comedy. I mean some fucking solid today They've L.A. Pride like I was from Boston and stuff I always like when it comes to but then again, you know when you go to a lager game. It's more to be seen That's what people understand about out here. It's but that's going on with the next two god for bed You don't have the first three rows in the Nick game and people can't see you on TV and you're drinking a beer and you're cheering and you're young. You know, I never saw what that's all about. I rather stay home. I rather be on some fucking I rather be on a fucking couch with you. Smoking a joint beef on you and talking about stupidity about a podcast and something. That's been the way with me constantly. Yeah. It's really surprising when people go, I want to go into the green room more. I want to hang with you guys after a show. Listen, since I've known Rogan, I don't do

nothing. They used to go to strip clubs and then as the years, the progress they go to a bar, then we go back to the hotel and then you start doing less and less things, you know. There's no fucking part of the here. It's amazing how it's I said that in Tempe we're sitting there after the show and I was quiet in the room and and like after the show You're like a hungry and I was like, hey, and he So I'm back to our rooms and I was like this isn't like I thought I was gonna be a big party and and and and go and hang out I'm fine in the morning. The comedy show. Yeah, that's the fucking party that the party is doing the show and then going home Let like I said a thousand times for years. I would consider those things real party after a comedy show

I go party and guess what by saturday night you're paying $22 to come see me and I'm sucking Yeah, I'm sucking because I'm tired. I'm my my my fucking mind's not straight and that's what happened to me for fucking years man We think people just get funny. No, they put all the elements together. Maybe they were funny and they couldn't put a joke together. Maybe I could put a joke together, but the dedication of my commitment.

Yeah, there's so many things. Then comes a point where one day you get sick and tired of being sick and tired. And you put five of the seven elements together and you move a little forward. And that's what you helped me do. That's what we did. You understand me?

But that's the whole thing of it. That's what boxing. That's what have Robby Lawler. He's been around for 12 fucking years. Not to motherfuckers got getting beat up, getting submitted. Comes back to the UFC. The guy's got a fire in his eye. Okay, he just lost the last fight for a championship round.

Based 32 years old, he's not going anywhere. He learned from that fight. He learned the same way how when Johnny Hendrix lost to GSP, he learned. Yeah. I'm sorry, I'm using the MMA things, but you learn. You learn as you go across. And even if you lose, trying some, now you know,

when you attack it again, you know what to look out for. Yeah. You know, this people are trying to escape from Cuba all the time. And maybe the fucking float won't last past 50 miles. Nothing got to go back to the drone, but we got to wear more glue. More this. You know, you got guys. You're not going to get everything the first time.

And today, I learned today, I was thinking about it today, how big experience was, because when I got home, I was thinking about it today, how big experience was, because when I got home, I was thinking about it. I didn't really panic when this happened. The biggest thing, I complained about those jobs I had, but the big, like you learn that stuff is gonna happen, and if you freak out, if you overreact, it hurts you. On what level? On, at least for me, if I over overreact and I start getting worked up and I start playing with everything

I'm not gonna see like when you lose something at your house I always run around and you pull everything apart. You throw everything around you're sick You relax You breathe and you retrace your steps and you'll find your fucking keys. It's amazing. Especially Even with cell phones. Oh, yeah cell phones. I walked out of cars and go what the fuck? I left my cell phone right there It really is amazing. So, you know people want to try shit and it doesn't succeed. It takes years To be a good comic the way it takes years to be a good fighter. It takes years to be a good writer But that's the thing like you probably even even when you were sucking 15 years ago,

you learned something at one show that comes up now and you're like, oh, I'm not gonna be freaked out about it. Yeah, I'm not gonna be like that. I remember being in Jacksonville, Florida, and going on into the audience and seeing, I used to judge the audience. I used to judge the fucking audience and it used to judge me and I'd bomb.

So do you understand me? I'd go out there and I go look at all those old people at Whitehead. Then I'm gonna like my material. I just lost. I just got hit with the biggest punch, which is I lost before I even went on that. Yeah. And then I go. I won't look at that man. There was just so many things and I would eat shit because I wouldn't do my material I'd speed through the joke. I wouldn't take my time and Now I see old people you saw what happened on Tempe yeah, those old people And I went out there and saw them and I go I'm gonna pull it back and I go fuck no I'm gonna open up this mother fuckman vow because you could always Close the vow, but you can't open it one shit. You you follow him saying to you

It's like acting when you go on an audition and you walk in Sometimes if you go in and the character is loud and you go in there the first time He's gonna get mad directly because you're not loud enough where you're not your energy isn't that high Okay, I can't do nothing with you if your energy's high coming in I could push it backwards. Yeah, but if you're not you found on the state of mind we're talking about it late night Churchill what's happening now Monday April 21st. Where's Tony Bennett Cox suck? There's no Tony Bennett tonight. What happened? You're slipping this one talking about Where is it? It's coming hold on. It's coming. It's it's coming. It's supposed to be fucking lined up and prepared.

I'm sorry we came up late today, the audio, but who the fuck? I'm not sorry. It should happen. I hope your mother fuckers stayed up. Monday is Monday. We got to midnight to put this together. I'm still gonna fire you up. You're still going all out there on Tuesday.

I'm gonna stab your mother fuck in the neck. It's the church within two. Ow. Where's the water? Ha ha ha. Oh Subcock suckers your home What the fuck you got me over here like I'm deaf you're gonna eat the rest of that candy on throw it away You'll leave it there for the ants. I'll leave it. I mean I got to shut the easier. You got me over here, look at my death. You're gonna eat the rest of that candy. I throw it away. You'll leave it there for the ants. I'll leave it there.

I mean, you know, that's shit to eat here. We got nothing to eat here, no? No. I'll bring you something strong when you get there. I'm good. We got Ed Suarez calling. Nice. He hasn't called in a while.

I love Ed Suarez. Two, see how he doesn't. What's going on with him? Turn that shit off. What's going on with him? I really little candle of the old lady. I put some glasses of water out. You know me, I get it thought done out of the fucking way.

What's going on with you, my brother? Just fucking, and I know we've talked about this a lot, but the way thing for me is it's always been there. Like I've never. What'd you do with that part, Rose? I know you ate that. No, it's in my car. I'm just gone now. Yeah part road I know you ate that no it's in my car I'm yeah yeah you might just don't pick the car well no because so here's like it's I I have everyone I think

everyone has their addiction sort of thing and for me it's I think part of its an addiction I think most of its laziness honestly but ever ever since like you and Terry and I must just get your point after a bunch of years where you don't go out as much But ever since I started going out Okay, I put the way back on and I just Luckily I have I think the thing that some people don't have like when you go on TV And see like the two a thousand pound person Is I luckily when I get to a certain point? I'm like, okay, I gotta bring this back. I'm so trust me. I shouldn't let it get to this point

but it's Look that I feel like I have that in my brain where I'm not I I don't think I could get to a thousand pounds I probably could but it's just so I've been working on that I Have talked to people about joining a gym. I would love to get a bike, but the people aren't here crazy, so I don't I don't know what I'm gonna do I I'll start with walking It all starts with it's not gonna go if you can't walk you're not gonna go there generally If you don't walk you're not gonna go to the fucking gym

Just trust me you can't get yourself to walk What's gonna get you to get you in a car to drive to a fucking gym. Just trust me, you can't get yourself to walk. What's gonna get you to get you in a car that drive to a fucking gym to be around people who look like they would ingoliath to fucking work out. Yeah. You gotta start walking. And I, that's all I'm saying to you.

I haven't been pushing. I'm gonna tell you to go for a walk. But last two months, what have I been telling you? No, and it's, it's easy, it's easy to tell the world. Fuck about what's going on or where you're? You got a head nine o'clock. The car ain't going nowhere. Walked up 10 planet. Go read the fucking war and walk back. That's it. This isn't hard. Today with my bad knee, I was sitting there. I wrote, I emailed them. I'm sitting there.

I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do? I sat outside. I tried to write a joke. I'm like, what the fuck am I going to do? I sat outside, I tried to write a joke, I'm like, what the fuck am I gonna do? I want upstairs, I took two fucking baby aspirants. It was about 12, 15. I went downstairs, I rotated my knees in all directions. I did these hip things, I fucking stressed a little bit, and I said, fuck it. You know, the knee's gonna hurt,

whether or not I work out or not. Yeah. I might as well work out a little bit. I'm not gonna jump fucking ladders and be Johnny Gumba, but I'm gonna work at the plug I did 10 sets of swings and I did fucking five sets of six sets of Clean and jerks got nice and sweaty took me 35 minutes I picked up a 45 and a 35 walked 50 yards and 50 yards back and I put the weights in the car and I was done for the day Yeah, and I don't you, what I didn't eat sugar today.

You know, I ate that, that fucking chocolate bar and I ate two of those things with 10 calories a piece. I don't drink soda no more. I was telling my wife today, the only way not to give your child to stop your child from drinking soda is by not drinking soda in front of them. Yeah. It's crazy. And I'll tell you what I love North bergen. I love where I'm from

I love a majority of people I grew up But I knew something that always killed me. There's something that killed me about people. There's two things I can't tolerate white trash. I Can't tolerate the mind thought the mindset of white trash They grow up They get a job and they play the handout and they don't even play the handout. You know, I was surrounded by white trash and North American. Good people, you know, I'm not saying nothing bad about them. Good God-fearing Americans, you know, that's not it. But I always

thought that their dreams were too small. In fact, I don't think they had fucking dreams. I see that more now than I'm out here. I didn't see it when I did. You see what I'm saying to you? And that bothered the fuck out of me. I call white trash to people a person who doesn't have a dream. Somebody who comes up to me and says, guess what? Do you all my brothers are in Atlantic City? You know, we're gonna party out, and I look at them, and I see how excited they get, and it brings pain to my heart.

Yeah. It brings that much pain to my heart, you know, that little, like the, the all my brothers aren't even together no more, like that. I think they're a type of not even, like the original band. Right. You know, it's like you were talking to me before about Pink Floyd.

Like 18 people have hit me up already. And so you excited about Pink Floyd? You want me to tell you the truth? Not at all. I haven't even fucking thought about it. I don't give a fuck. You know, I really don't give a fuck if they put a new album out of that.

Well, I buy it, who the fuck knows? I might put it on, but I don't want to see that stuff. It's like you were saying to me, do you want to go see aerosmith and slash at the kawasim or whatever are you fucking crazy? Are you fucking crazy? You know I saw aerosmith whenever I smith was aerosmith and they would ever even aerosmith because anybody who knows when you want to see aerosmith went to heroin they were horrendously bad. Oh you paid to see this bad that was just super power and they were horrendously bad. You paid to see this bad, it was just super power. And they were horrendously bad because of the drugs. And I don't know how they are now.

People, nobody's gonna pay $55 for a ticket. The concert sucked. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's against their whole thing. They're not gonna pay $100, especially now. A concert's $300. They're not gonna come back and go, man, that's suck.

No, they're not going to come back. But back to the white trusting, I always felt they had no dreams. Like, even in high school, you'd say, what's going on in North America? I can't wait for my father to get me this job in this warehouse. I'm going to get $18,000 an hour, and that was it. Yeah.

They don't call on vacation. They never leave New Jersey. They wouldn't even dream of fucking leaving New Jersey a little core that they belong to. They get excited about the weirdest fucking things. And my hometown North Bergen, there's, you know, at this point now, there's maybe four fucking bars at these young kids could go to, you know, but oh, guess a fuck. You're 10 minutes away from the greatest city in the world. I mean, that's the advantage of being from North Bergen, New Jersey. But you get people from North Bergen and I'll go to the fucking moose club. And this is like a bunch of people that are

built like I am. So it was biggest I am. and they go down there and they talk about high school football and they're stuck in that time warp. Yeah. Like that's the white trash. I'm talking about that. They're stuck in this fucking time warp of their mind that there's no dreaming. There's no nothing. They just call exist with life.

That works for a lot of people. That wasn't going to work for me. Are you jealous at all? Because I have some, I would, I never had had a, I had a couple friends in high school, but not like a group of like six or seven. I'll go on Facebook now and I'll see that they're, they're still hanging out in the parties. And I hate it all.

I don't want to be there, but like maybe 10% of me is jealous that they still like hang out. And most of me thinks it's stupid, but part of me is like, I was like, oh, that'd be nice to start friends from the high school, but I don't, I talked to one kid from high school, that's it. Very lonely.

But I'm very lonely because I want to be. I'm very lonely at times because I want to be. Do you follow me? Yeah. In my mind, those kids I grew up up with that was the best that got for me That was the best that would ever be for me and I never tried to duplicate that even hanging out with comedians If I hang out with four comedians the top notch comedians in the country They wouldn't give me as much humor As I did when I grew up with those guys and I know this going in right because they're not trying they worked on timing

Everything was based on timing. It was life. They reacted to life. And they were very funny about doing it. I can't take back half those things. And I'm not glamorizing that life, or living in the past. But those type of friends I grew up with,

that'll never happen again. I love you and you're a good kid. No, I don't. I'm like, that's what a good kid. I like the Agustinana and I you know I just know that it was a different situation and it required a different type of friendship you know the cops are never gonna come knock on your door and go is Joey and you're gonna like giggle in their face and get the fuck out of my face and slam the door that's never gonna happen this lifetime. Yeah three people are not gonna knock on your door and say,

where's your buddy Joey Dears? He robbed me. You know, and you're gonna go, I haven't seen him in two weeks. Fuck you. If we don't have our money, we're gonna beat the fuck out of you two in three days. That takes a certain type of friend.

Somebody would say, fuck you. I'll tell you where he is right now. Yeah. These motherfuckers are like, you said what? You better fucking choose your words, fucking wisely. You gotta choose your words fucking wisely You gotta choose your fucking words wisely. You're not gonna do shit to me

Do you know it's it was different? It was a different time. Yeah, but I'm very lonely, you know in that aspect because I could go to Hollywood in Prague and goof around With a bunch of people that at the end of the week, who gives a fuck? You know, I could go to a comedy store and again, oh my God, that's such a funny joke. Who gives a fuck? When I get in my car, you're gonna talk about how I do blow and now, you know, whatever the fuck, my fuck,

you may give yourself, for why not? You're achieving your goals and why not? You're doing what the fuck you're doing. So it was just really weird. I just, he asked asked what I found out and I knew a year after my mother died I was getting the fuck out of that. And it wasn't because I hated the people or you know like I said white trash to me of people that you see them and you know that you're going to see them in 30 years and nothing changed. And they're happy. They're happy about it. I always wanted

more. Yeah. I always wanted to challenge every day. You know, I want to get challenged every day. When I wake up in the morning, I want a different type of day. You know, people hit me up all the time. They hit us up all the time. Hey, man, we have a song for the church. Guess what? Take your fucking song and shove it up your fucking ass. I don't want to hear your fucking song. I'm going to tell you why because if you don't only't anything about me I can't do the same shit twice every day So why would I want to hear you fucking song every fucking day? I appreciate that you took the time and writing it and I love you to death But push your fucking magic elsewhere cock sucker, you know last night's end

Do is trying to get me to play Warren Zeeva Did you see that conversation? No, he's only about it. Yeah, can you play my buddy shot himself this week? Did you see that conversation? No, you told me about it. Yeah, can you play my buddy shot himself just we can you play Warren Z Well, I've listened to the first Dory fucking words of this song. I gotta pay some I would have shot myself to I would have shot myself in the fucking head if I had listened to that Who's the other one you hate at the beginning? As you said if you try to run a party. I fucking hate that dude. That's the dude that every party you go to some Yeah, let's put on Zappwood and oh no someone who's like, let's put on Zapplin' and oh no, no, no, let's put on.

I forget what the fuck that's like. I forget who it was, but he hated him too. He sounds like he's taking a shit all the time. He's America's sweetheart. They all love him, you know. The gentile nation, you know, anybody who wears the fucking hat with Sonata to the side, they all fucking love that guy, you know,

I fuck you. I'll put for anything I can sure to the side. They all fucking play that guy, you know, fuck you. I'll put fuck, anything on it compares to that shit. Every day that guy that sounds like he's taking this shit. Rick Ramos likes him. Oh really? We had Rick Ramos. He's trying to turn me on until I heard him when they like all real Rick, you know, fucking serious.

You're not fucking serious, are you? The fuck is that guy's name? Hey, someone tweet at me if you remember, I forget. What the fuck is that guy's name? Hey someone tweet at me if you remember I forget what the fuck is that guy's name? I can't stand that shit. Yeah, my buddy died. Can you play this song? Get the fuck that no one they died Fucking died, too. And he's like, well, if you can't play that song, you could play this one I'm not gonna play that fucking song either that Tom Waits, all Jesus Christ. Thank you, Injectors. That is the fucking worse. That shit is the fucking worse garbage. I have ever listened to in my life. That is the fucking worse. At least that white trash and look pregnant, don't listen to, at least the people I grew up

listened to real fucking music. You weren't allowed to fake the funk Like you were not allowed to fake the funk at all and come up with like to be cute in front of some girl You know, I'm saying like yeah, oh no, you know put on spring steam like you never heard that shit for something Would stab you the fucking neck. There's a Sabbath house cock sucker get you shit together. Oh my god, but it was uh It's just weird like that to see those type of people that you just knew, and I loved them. I'm not saying nothing bad about them. That was their prerogative, but they got a settle. And I just didn't want to settle, you know.

Yeah. Was that your mindset behind leaving, or was your mindset? Yeah, I just, I've always always wanted I know it probably was but maybe I maybe I'm not smart enough to realize it yet Because it's still it's still only a few years ago It moves fast week. I know and but I always thought I'll tell you this I always started being New York even after I was out here for a few months interning and then I went back I thought it'd be in New York

And then I had a job in LA and I just, I came out and now it's home, but I always thought it would be New York. You know, and I always hated that, also that other mind, that other small-minded thing about the guy, you know, like the guy, like a mayor, like the mayor, I'm not a Bergen, he's a fucking putts. You know, I know when he was like an assistant principal at one of that Lincoln schoolgen, he's a fucking putts. You know, I know when he was like an assistant principal

at one of that Lincoln school, he guys are fucking putts. But if you go to North Bergen, I'm like, I walk and I don't know people like, oh, I never have respect for that mindset either. Yeah. Fuck that motherfucker. That bitch puts his pants on one leg at a time. That's why I can never be like, I saw Julia serving.

I saw Richard Gio and I was a kid. I didn't give a fuck. You know, I would go up to him and shake down. Like I didn't say nothing saw Richard Gio and I was a kid, I didn't give a fuck. You know, I would go up to him and shake the hand like I didn't say nothing to Richard Gio at a club and Julia serving was my fucking idol pretty much growing up. Because if your alarm goes off, they're gonna be there. If you shoot somebody in the bar, they're gonna be there and clean it up first. What happened here? This guy pulled the gun, will you sure? You put a fake gun in his hand boom colder cops You paid now what's gonna happen is but

Every once in a while those guys go they retire and you're a young guy who thinks he's slick and he'll come in one night and throw a beat lonely and Then say how he wants this much money and then come in there. I want some month Get a couple drinks on the house, embarrass my mom, and embarrass the customers. What the fuck do you do? You go to the other guys and you talk to him, and you move him, you got cops like that. In the 60s and 70s, something would always happen with those fucking cops. Really? Yeah, when I was a 70s something would always happen with those fucking cops. Really?

Yeah, when I was a kid something would always happen with those cops because you had people that just wanted to do business and they wanted to keep it low key. They just wanted to put their kids to college and they'd help you off. They really did help you out. Like I said, if you, somebody broke your glass, they were there first. They'd have somebody that that bought up your glass. If you're alive, went off and some humped down the corner is a long one off, they came to your alarm. Some people at home disagreeing with me now, but I'm telling you what I saw as a young man

where the etiquette was in the 60s and the 70s. Do you obviously like a business say no, or dig your mom in? I know that there was some businesses that probably said no, I don't know what happened to him, whatever. I know that there were some businesses that probably said, no, I don't know what happened to him, whatever. I know that also if the ABC was out checking IDs or whatever, these city cops came in and told you they're scheduled. Also if the DEA was in town, shaking down Spanish bars, these city cops told you you're scheduled. When the DEA comes to town, they have to stay at a hotel.

They don't stay at a fancy hotel and they put it When the DEA comes to town, they have to stay at a hotel. They don't stay at a fancy hotel and they put it under the DEA credit card. People at the hotel that work at the hotel get the word out. The DEA is in town. That's it. Everybody knows to close up shop to slow down a little bit. These cops would help you out. So if somebody was watching your bar, they'd tell you somebody's watching your bar. This is a full-time coverage. I don't know how it is now. These drugs involved, this crack involved, this weapon involved. I don't know. I really don't know. I'm away from that. I don't know how to think because in movies, those cops are always like the bad cops always always crooked and and but the way you describe it cops don't make that much money and everybody and life gets jaded at their job. Yeah, some people

listen to this right now going Joey. We don't know what you want you to hear the other side of this no matter what type of job you do you're a working fucking stiff till the end. I'm a working stiff Lee would have been a working stiff as an editor, you know, you've got promoted finally, isn't that it? And you're still 28. And when do you retire? 65. So unless you open up your own business, you're a fucking working stiff. 40 years. So for 40 years, you're a working stiff. Okay. Now, I don't know if this becomes the same for cops. I'm gonna break it down for you guys and break, you know, everybody here at some point in 38

goes, what the fuck am I doing? I just saw a bill by mistake. They paying me 15 bucks an hour, they charged 55 for me. And I'm only getting $15 and yet 15 goes to be showing to the state taxes, but they're still getting $25 for me for labor-wise. I'm making 15

miles an hour and this is what I'll do till I'm fucking 65. You know, whatever. Everybody gets jaded at their work. Somebody gets a promotion. You find out somebody it makes more than you. You know, my wife is a fucking hard worker. My wife doesn't believe in theft when she was a waitress and you know, she got she didn't want to work at the store no more than she went to fucking Starbucks. I would talk to my wife. My wife is such a gen-town.

She doesn't believe in theft. Everything is by the fucking penny. The other day she found that the chiropractor's clipped us for 65 bucks. She goes, I read somewhere that all medical bills are off. They're all wrong. You should go through them. I was off of my insurance. She went through all my bills, found that that I was over. Call my insurance, got my insurance, bombed to level one.

My wife is a fucking hawk when I come to this. She works, she works, she works, boom, she got pregnant when they 10 years on the job. They pay for pregnancy. She wasn't doing that. She fucking was a slim gym McGoo. That bitch cried for a week, but she went to work after eight weeks. She went to work and she drove home with a titsleakin, you know, from the milk and she'd feed mercy and you know, I would see the anguish in her face and I'd

pleaded with her a quits. She told me she couldn't quit. And about three weeks later, she came home and then she said that they gave her a raise, they gave her like a 1.3% raise. And she was never so embarrassed in the life that she's out work three of the fucking people. And then they took the girl that's the baby's godmother. And she had been there for 10, 12 years, 15 years. And instead of hiring her, they got somebody from the outside. And she started thinking about how, 12 years, 15 years, and instead of hiring her, they got somebody from the outside. And she started thinking about how, these people really don't give a fuck

that that's why I got into comedy and blah, blah, blah, blind and she, I was very smart and that was part of it. I was jaded. I didn't wanna work for people, not more. I was second time, I didn't wanna be that nine to fucking five, you know? And I saw my wife get jaded and she goes on quitting. And she didn't do it for like two months and then she started going back

part-time. Not the three days she came home and she goes, I can't do it normal. I hate those fucking people. Same thing happens in your account. Same thing happens when you truly believe in your heart that you're helping people. You really believe in your heart that you're helping people. And all of a sudden, you help somebody, you're calling them in and saying, they get up and try to shoot you. You go to these houses, these people don't give a fuck about you because you're a cop. You're always the enemy. No matter what they tell you, I grew up believing in police officers.

I really did. I grew up believing in. And I still do. Even as a criminal, you... Even as a criminal. I still believe in police officers. I really did. I grew up believing and I still do. Even as a criminal, you live in a criminal. I still believe in police officers. I still believe that they do good. But then again, you're going to get guys to the jaded. And then since they worked long hours, they get jaded in their personal lives. Their wives leave them. You know, most of these cops have a few marriages. They get drunk. They don't tell. I can't come home and tell you. I come home at night. What'd you do today?

I shot a movie with Dean came. What'd you guys do? Well today's We got chased by a dog we ran up the stairs and chased the dog and then we ran down and they chased us And there's another scene where he puts a string out and we both jump over and we both fall I Can't tell my wife that I saved the kid the dumpster today. The kid was half burnt. And this is an awesome, I tend to do drugs. Also, I arrest somebody one day and they have three baggies of meth, but I only turn in two of them. And I do a little bit of it.

You know, God knows when the office is mind is Yeah. I'm not sticking up for the guy who shot the 12-year-old in Cleveland. I'm not sticking up for hands up. I'm not sticking up for Ferguson. I'm just telling you that before we accused, we had to think of both sides about it. And I hate to get into these conversations because they'll always be critics of this.

But it's true. Yeah, fucking true. I was on both sides and I was very lucky. I never drew on a cup You know take it go out I was never that fucking crazy Right I was I didn't have that much of a death wish for years. I thought I did

but I really didn't and A lot of fucked up shit could happen. I drive home on the 10 I drive home on the one-on-one lane So do you only times you go to fucking comp and you're a white getting confident, right? For a year, you drove to fucking bad neighborhood. You're coming home one night, they say, pull this guy over, he's here for drug activity. Yeah, they pull you out of a fucking car. Where's the drugs? I'm not here for drugs. They smack you. When you go home, how are you

gonna feel about the cops? Yeah'm not here for drugs. They smack you. When you go home, how are you gonna feel about the cops? Yeah, you're gonna steal and feel believe not hate them, but you're gonna believe in them anymore. Are you ever gonna doubt? You know this it's just we get jaded in so many different fucking levels, but yeah, so I just had a cousin who had to quit being a Social worker because he'd done it for like two years and he was like I can't do it anymore Every week there's a new kid who gets beat up or it's just it was terrible. I mean all you could do is live your life the right way. Yeah. I'm pray to God you never get accused of something wrong. I'm pray to God you're not the wrong place at the wrong fucking time. Right, you know. So how's the movie going by the way?

The movie is, first off, I didn't wanna do this fucking movie. I had the worst attitude about it, because what they do is they do sag-a-low-budget movies. They give you a little taste to the back end. And you get limited visibility. You go on ABC Family, you on it something like that, you know

The first one I gave my blood on this I fell down That was the beginnings of my pains when I started hurting my knee and shit first when if you watch them 400 pounds Oh, no easy and I'm falling on the floor running upstairs and Didn't like the second and third one, you know, we were talking about something like that. I don't like the second and third one you know we were talking about something I had to have them like doing a lot of shit once I do it a few times I move on you know and I always thought I wanted to move on from this when they called this time I had a date in Chicago but I had another movie that I called and then the pushing that back to March or something. So I got stuck with this. You know, I didn't want to do it.

And it would fuck, they've been great the whole time. One day the air condition I'm broken the trail with the second day. But besides that, this is what I do, B. And I enjoy breaking my year up. I enjoy, I'm very fortunate that I don't have to go on the road every weekend, carry my fucking luggage and be in Philly right now. You know, being in some place that's gonna get snow and big get caught there

on Sunday. I've worked for that. You know, and I like that I get lucky from time to time and somebody calls me and for a week I just avoid doing stand-up. I don't even think about that. You don't miss it? No, I went on stage Saturday night. Oh, okay. But I didn't have to, sure, I missed it. But it's great to know I don't have to do it. That for a week I could just go home and go to sleep and just do this movie. Do you think maybe your standup would get better from like taking a little bit of time off?

Everything needs a week off. Yeah. Everything always could use a week off from time to time. I'm not saying all the fucking time. But everything. A hooking, a fall asleep sucking your dick or she's doing a good job. You know what I'm saying? She's fucking time, but everything. A hooker ain't gonna fall asleep sucking me a dick or she's doing a good job, you know what I'm saying? She's working on that fucking jaw.

Her whole head's involved, her eyes are blanking. It's a bad situation, Lisa. Don't look at me like I'm fucked up. Have you ever had a hooker fall asleep on you? No, I'm just saying. What the fuck, I never had a hooker fall asleep on me. No, I had one hooker experience and that was the light bail on that fucking thing.

Hooker experience. So what do you do with Christmas then? were going to try to do a podcast at six o'clock. Christmas Eve Wednesday, just to fulfill what we do for you people. Let me start thinking about it. I got to tell you something. We do a podcast at six. That means it's nine and eight's coast. I got to be honest with you people.

You guys are watching this podcast, Christmas Eve at 9 o'clock on the East Coast, you got problems. It's time for you to fucking look deep within you. You know, and I know some people get lonely and some people need a laugh or whatever, but no. I don't want you people doing this. I want you people going out and enjoying touching people. Get the fuck out of the house

Get the fuck off that fucking computer go get out get some fucking air your fucks Smell some smell some ass go do something no sitting here because I'm depressed because my grandfather got hit by a truck My day do get a fuck fuck grandpa. He left you the fucking car. That's all that matters You're alive and kick and get out there breathe. That's all I ask you So Leonide decided we'll do it early So maybe you can watch it the Wednesday at lunch time if you're on these coasts. Sit Smoke a fucking number. Maybe listen to Led Zeppelin 3 Diggo me and Lee got the same maybe we'll get a guess maybe we'll have my boy call

I got the you the second part. I watch a part of it, I DVR it and I got it at the house. Both times I've DVR it like last time I DVR it was fucking women's volleyball, I almost killed somebody today. But no it's, it's Christmas even important to you because for my entire childhood I went to this Italian family's house for Christmas Eve and then now- You want me to be with your family, you dad, you want me to- My dad worked with him and we went every year that a guy dressed up as San every year. It was great.

And then Italian food and now Paula, her mom and her cousin, Christmas Eve is more important than Christmas day. I just don't, I don't know anything about it. So they do presents of Christmas Eve, they do tamales, I don't know. I'm Jewish, it doesn't really matter. What do you do? So you went over to this guy. These people saw

Christmas Eve's talents. Yeah. And then what do you guys do? You go home and stare at each other? There's no tree at your fucking house. Cause you're Jewish. I'm Jewish. We at Hanukkah. So there's no fucking gifts when you went back to the house? No, they all give. Oh my God. They gave us so many gifts. They're like a richer Italian family. We went home with more gifts than we got at Hanuk sometimes They they loved us. It was great It was shout out if you're in the on these coasts to the Lombardos. They have a nightclub and stuff But technically my bar mitzvahs, but uh, no, it was great. I Was always a little bit jealous of Christmas

Like I went my cousin his ex-wife is Christian and I went over there once But the kids were really young and the kids fell asleep on the floor under the Christmas tree Like in the middle of opening their presents because they just had like so many presents. They just couldn't handle it And I was a little bit jealous because I my parents were well off when I was growing up I had a bunch of presents at Hanukkah But it's still probably two presents a night maybe three presents a night Which I had for fucking presents. I don't know it adds up to be a lot. No, but I'm just saying underneath the tree Fucking Jews just spoil each other. It's not always like PS4 is it's like a small thing when you're a kid

Air socks a t-shirt your favorite pajamas. Yeah, GI Joe's hat. Yeah. You know, maybe GI Joe wants a Hananaka. He wants a Yomaka. Fuck you as a, uh, you know, what, what does it mean? I mean, what does Christmas Eve mean? I wasn't mean. You're raised that it means that you go somewhere with your family or good friends. In case you don't have a family and then you get together and you maybe exchange gifts, you maybe don't, maybe three years of broke, it's a tough time of year, but everybody understands, not about the present. It's just that feeling, you know, you're reading, you know, I've had the best Christmas when I've been broke, the best Christmas season.

Really? And I've had a good Christmas when I had money, your shitty wanted it because you didn't do nothing with it, you know? How long did it take you to start celebrating after your mom passed away? Well, I just remember coming from Q, but I remember, I'm not going to sit here and say, I'm my first Christmas, I fucked you. I remember a Christmas like after when I was like six or seven. I was maybe six and I still

believed in Santa Claus and they took me to the bar which I never had done for those days a lot I would go maybe you want some more in those days and when I got back the gifts were under the tree and it was they were all with me anybody who could have done that it was a fucking trick So even though my friends told me there was no Santa Claus. I was like you guys don't know Maybe you guys done motherfuckers. It's a Cuban Santa Claus. That showed up in my house. So that was the only Christmas I really cherished that I really believe that remember it. Yeah Yeah, remember that particular one is on 12 or 5 West 88 street they moved to dinner table and they put the tree against that wall and I still remember how that loads lights used to flash against

that wall, you know, I still remember how important Christmas was to my mother and it's also the seventh of January. That's one of three kings. So on that date you get cash. So the Cuban Christmas runs basically from the 17th to the to the to the 7th. Very ironically, you guys have heard me talk about St. La, did I talk about this? Yeah, they did that whole Cuban thing happened on St. Lazarus birthday. I was so high. I don't think so. Oh yeah, that whole Cuban thing happened on St. Lazarus birthday. That's why it's very important. Cubans I was goofing with John Salami, the other, my buddy.

He said that he was calling people the last week or so and he wasn't getting a response from people for business. And I said, John, you're 45 years old. Don't really get on that fucking stupid. Gentiles don't, they give give up after the fucking 15th Why people done and I don't blame you, you know black people are broke They don't give a fuck you know, they ain't over till it's fucking over But why people have a list, you know Gentiles have a list and they planted out

They're going to next house and they're gonna give Nick and that kiss under the fucking green tree Whatever the fuck I miss a Missile What about a fucking a little nugget? Yeah, you know, and they just plan on this shit out, you know, so We don't hear a savage you just go by What will we talk about? Well, I think you're talking about like Christmas is like yeah, so the Cuban stuff I think you're talking about like Christmas is like yeah, so the Cuban stuff

So after the 15th people that people are brain dead You're not gonna answer your phone. You know I'm taking on new projects. It's like no I need eight days I'm out of here. I'm just killing eight days I'm killing files and stapling shit. I'm cleaning my desk. You know, you're just yeah You don't want to do nothing. And so if you're really trying to like, there's people today that were like, hey man, I'm still talking to people about a movie. That's dead guy.

Business is dead as of last fucking Thursday or something. So for Cubans, it starts to 17. After the 17, you can't get a Cuban to focus. Because the 24th is dead. They start on the 20th and they get a couple pigs and they fucking marinate them. First they keep my life like two days and they free them and they make sure they shit everything out. They fucking free them and make sure they're inside. I don't know how they do it. I'm hearing about this as a child. Then they stab the little pig. Then they open them up,

then they fucking stab them more than they rubbed Mo on them every like hour on the hour for like 22 fucking hours while they're drinking doing blow And you have chefs And once the 24th comes that pig is fucking ready to go. He is a crispy and shit They got like two of them his eyeballs is still in there nice got the little red glaze on them It tastes like a marritino cherry and shit I was dying buzz with the eyeballs sure Oh, yeah, you you wait a peg up as you bite into the pupil fucking shoots out like a fucking rapeseed

tremendously, but you don't like cotton in your mouth. No, I don't like cotton in my mouth I don't mind it chick pissing in my mouth either, but that's a complete different party. So fucking I don't mind it chickpeasin' in my mouth either, but that's a complete different party. So, uh, fucking... What we talkin' about, I'm stonk. Christmas, yeah, me too. I'll split this brownie. I just did that with you. Antidolores is gettin' that, that... If you live in the close to the Antidolore store, she sent me a box and I gotta taste it.

I've been stonk for the last three weeks and I just like regular stonk. Like deep, deep fucking stonk. I knew today was gonna be bad because you call me like three or four times I need time to be a voice and I'll be quiet a lot of times Oh I was looking to get stone that around some marines Fucking ass how to go sit and I was looking to get stolen. Had to run some errands. I didn't know when they were going to be a pain in the fucking ass. I had to go sit and catch here beating. It was only two fucking people, so I knew I just had it.

And I couldn't be stolen for them, I couldn't. I had to give them the respect. I love that that's an error in the go catching here beating. Oh! To drive, to know that you got to catch an here. First I lost my parking spot. I'm already pissed off. You understand? I'm not bothering nobody. If I do my parking spot. I'm already pissed off. You understand?

I'm not bothering nobody. If I do kettlebells, I gotta do it with Paul Mouta the truck. I'm right there. I gotta walk to my house. Why don't you just put the kettlebells in the road? No one's gonna steal kettlebells. I'm gonna run.

I'll get in your spot. I can't do that. You step people's tires. What's the difference? I can't put kettlebells. So people run them over. They'll ruin their insides and shit. And they I can't put kettlebells on people run them over they're ruined their insides And shit and they'll ask who's kettlebells on that I lose the kettlebells

I like my kettlebells. We'll need to kill a buzz along all right I'm sorry. We bought them the fucking kettlebells So you know you have that Christmas Eve Which is family after Christmas day and you sit around and watch football and eat the leftovers and And I said it's it's's considered a holiday between you and I Do I give a fuck Do I I don't give a fuck yeah, it's just a day off that you're wasting my time I can be getting some gears all about the Benjamin. This is every Jews are all pissed because these fucking Gentiles

They're sitting around me. They can be flipping a fucking buck, but they don't say none They go long island. They do what the fuck they need to do, they take care, they mold along, whatever the fuck they do. But that's what it means. Is it important? Well, I think about my darkest time, when I spent Christmas Eve and a friends and Christmas day at a fucking bar watching football, making believe it was having a good time, was I miserable? watching football, making believe it was having a good time. Was I miserable? Inside, I was broken inside, you know? I mean, you know, but you bear with them. I've said it here before on the show, and the best Christmas I had was 87 when I was locked up. Okay, you were saying that, what the thing is? Because I thought it was going to be bad. And it turned out to be fantastic. A bunch of

guys giggling laughing, you know, where we smoking dope and drinking now. We knew what we stood. We were just happy to be doing that because when you go to prison, they tell you you're not going to do nothing. Everybody else is eating fucking shit in their room. Here, we were in a room with fucking shrimp and meatloaf and fucking guacamole and tamales and fucking burrito. You know, there's too many flags in that kitchen. Yeah, it fucking tremendously. It was just, I remember going back to my little bunker into my room and going, what the fuck was that?

Yeah. So when you expect a bad Christmas, if you put a little effort into it, it might become a good fucking Christmas. I've had Christmas as a wedding. I was down on my fucking pocket. I had jowl from my hair and, you know, I went to some of these house and played it off and all of a sudden, like, amen, we got an extra wallet for you for Christmas and it just warms

your heart and it gives you a new outlook. So I'm staying in a fucking house Christmas day. That's my old thing. Christmas could be Christmas is what you make of it. If you stay in, you're're gonna be burned out about Christmas. Yeah. Even people tell you they hate Christmas and don't call the house and they stay alone and watch movies.

You're sitting there like a fucking moron, you know. Yeah. It's about people. It's about going out in England and saying hello. And you know what? It's that one time I was fucking you. Do it for that. Look, there's a fuck about a fourth of July.

People blown firecrackers and you shoot them guns. Nobody's shooting guns Christmas fucking Eve, you know. I should have done that. Look, there's a fuck about a fourth of July. People blowing firecrackers and shooting guns. Nobody's shooting guns Christmas party, you know? I should have done that. I'm terrible at going out. Not Christmas, but two of my saddest New Year's. I'm pretty sure I was in Boston. Maybe one was out here. I know definitely one was in Boston.

And I had nothing to do. Like no friends, ask me hang out or something. And I was watching the three Stooges marathon on the AMC. Just laying on my couch on my side. Christmas or New Year? New Year's is completely different than Christmas. But it's like the same thing you have to go out. Two different high, you're not the...

I, you know, maybe he's pissed whatever I'm dealing with. I go, you know, one in time he won't be pissed. So I give him a present Christmas Eve. Not one with that Christmas Eve. I noticed my cousin, you know, in time he won't be pissed. So I give him a present Christmassy, now one with that Christmassy, I notice my cousin, the female, is seeing with the kids outside. My cousin's okay, but I can tell there's always something on with it.

She's got a fucking husband, a boyfriend, a cop, and there's always something going on. It's like, I finally couldn't take it. I'm like, well, I think I go, you know, Marta, I came up here to be with you, and you're sitting the fuck out of here with you. You know, come on in and talk with, and I go eat something. And she's like, well, I might be with my husband, whatever.

It's like, well, my boy's like, hey, fuck him. He's working. Eat some. We're here. You know, we're right in front of you. It's like when you go to get a restaurant somewhere, you go to eat, pick up your order. And there's a fucking person taking your order right in front of you. Put that motherfucker on hold.

There's a live body with cash in front of you, right? That's the guy you talked to first There's the guy with cash in front of you fuck was on the phone if he cared about his food He got his fucking fat ass down here Fuck that motherfucker when you're doing customer service you deal with who's in front of you, right? Fuck that homo on the fucking phone. I don't give a fuck fuck about him in his lunch order probably want to miss some fucking fucked up shit anyway so I that's the way I go Marty you hear with your fucking brothers your dad your mom is here and you're you're all in the kitchen eating and you're you know so she got mad at me because I said that like well fuck him come in here with us you know and she got pissed off and we hung out for another hour and a half.

I had a good time with the baby and my cousins are sure we're playing music. And the kids, and we were laughing, my cousins' wife. And on the way out of all good night, and my uncle, I raises his hand like, fuck you. And my cousin raises, how the hell like, fuck you, you know. All right, I get in the car and whatever I call them both, the next day in the thank them, nobody call me back. And then last Thursday was the baby's birthday. I didn't say nothing. I got up the next month and I said, my cousin wrote something on Facebook. But that was it. I called it back

to thank you for your knowledge. You never called me back. I called it back that night. You never called me back. I didn't even think about it until yesterday or that yesterday. Sadly, morning before the improv that, oh my God, my cousin, my uncle, who's pretty tight with the baby, didn't call. And I go, you know what? I'll tell you in my world, I might have a problem with you, Lee, but I'm still gonna give Paul her Christmas present. Right.

You know, whatever's born on between me and you, that we'll put that aside, it's her, it's about her. Why don't fucking mind, not gonna be friends with her because you want to be a fucking momo. So I go, you know what, man? This guy has no idea that I've never ever ever ever in my life wanted to kill somebody as bad as I wanted to kill my uncle for what he did to me in 1984. You ever watched two fighters fight and after the fight they beat the fuck out of each other and they're bleeding? Like, what's his name?

Kotcheck. You know, he's got a glass fucking eye. You think when he sees GSB, he wants to hug him and jump up and down? Yeah, they fought, and yeah, you got to act like a fucking civilized or people don't talk about you. But deep down inside,

he's got a fucking glass eye, and he hates GSB. That's how I feel. Yeah. Like we never resolved that situation of what the fuck he was thinking. I was a 21-year-old kid, you know. My circuitry was all fucked up, you know. I dropped my faith in society. I dropped my faith in religion. I was done. I was done late So I go, you know what? I know who helped me out. I know who'd be cool with me my uncle. He was always there for me growing up You know, I wasn't the best person at the time, but it doesn't matter man families got to take you with you know He didn't pick me up at the airport. He didn't answer his phone for days. I finally have a go to a restaurant, I'm down, I remember sleeping out in front of the restaurant,

spending the whole night sitting on fucking whatever Western boulevard, whatever that is, from Mont boulevard and all the way in hell down there. And sleeping and it's fine with his restaurant with a duffel bag. Getting up in the morning, the restaurant on me calling his house, spending quarters. In those days, every time the answer machine picked up, you lost the 30 cents. Oh, no, the 25 cents. You know, it was a fucking night, manly. Finally shows up like a three with some fucking chubby Mexican chick with a smile on his face. He's like, Oh, you showed up. Oh, well, I can't sleep, but you can't sleep in my house, but you can sleep upstairs. He puts me in this liquor room with the smell of mice and rats.

And then he started telling me things that I really didn't need to know at that age. Things about my mother and drugs and my mother got high when I was inside of her. And just shit that you don't tell somebody. And I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? You know right and telling me that I would never amount anything because of the blood wine I came from and I'm like this is fucking cool. I Are I don't are Hispanic parents a little bit more straight? I don't know the straightforward a cool Then like white parents are or not. I don't want to say white but that world was a little bit more they were more

I noticed it like it's not that they're mean that I mean that sounds terrible But it's like they don't pull punches like white parents would never say some of the stuff I've seen So he told I didn't know this till after I made up with him Yeah, cuz his kids taught me the story like when you came to town that time He called the house. He wasn't living with us then. But he kept calling the house. Tom was not the answer to the phone that you called.

Oh, fuck. You know, like, this isn't my uncle. This isn't my blood. You know, if I suddenly think about it, I apologize to him 25 years later for my behavior. But he's never taken me aside and say, hey, man, I was out of line that weekend too, by the things I said to you.

You know, you wouldn't amount to nothing. I mean, when I got on that plane, after we drew guns on each other, and I got on that fucking plane to Jersey. You know, once the smoke cleared, I got furiously. I had, I realized what it had done to me. I was fuel-reously. I think I'm one of the testicle testaments. I talk about how he used to call him from prison. Yeah, and hang up. I'm a kill-hunter. Wammatali, Wabutana, hang up on him. I mean, this was going back

till fucking, I came out here. I was kind of scared. And then I looked at my plants. When I first moved them with Terry. Terry had a yellow page and I looked up the bar and I saw it was open. I called them from Terry's phone and the number had a machine to it. So I knew he still had the bar. And I was talking to Marilyn Martinez one day, like, Marilyn was Vermont. And she goes, it's right there in Hollywood, why? And I go, my uncle has a bar at this number. And she goes, hold on, I'll ask David. And David, her husband was black, you know, he was from Krenshaw.

And she goes, yeah, yeah, there's a bar down there. A Mexican bar, it's still guy. Oh, that's my uncle. And I remember going, you know what? If I fell here, I'm the way out of town. I'm gonna go out and hit him with a fucking poo by four. Hit him. And I was dead, seriously.

I was pissed. But you get older, you know, and you listen to people and people always say to forgive. And it's like I forgive, but I never forgot. I never really forgot him. And sometimes I'm meeting with him and I want to bring it up like, no, what the fuck were you thinking? You know, at that time, he had cheated on his wife with some

chick and then cheated on that chick with another chick and gotten her pregnant. The third chick? The third chick. And the kids around today. And the poor kid, you know, because of his behavior, the poor kid, you could see the kids fucked up too because the mother didn't want. the mother dropped them off one day and said I don't want this fucking kid. Oh no. You know because it was like she was a joke to the lover. You're not gonna be with me. I don't want this fucking kid. I want the kid to be together type deal. You imagine that. No. So that's the hell he lives in. You know and I explained to my wife yesterday, my wife told me she goes you know what I didn't

really understand the severity of what he had done to you until yesterday. It was, it was horribly, horribly, like how I went home after three days, and then I tried to last shot, yeah, I tried to last shot and rob and put a take a gun out on them because I couldn't take what he was saying to me anymore. What if he said it now, like what if he had said it at this age? What did it have effected you as much? No, because I'm confident who I am. I really know who the fuck I am.

At that age, my dad had died at three. My mom had died at 16. I had an idea. I wasn't fucking stupid, you know what I'm saying? Right. But he said things. I remember not working. And he's like, so what do you want to be a bartender?

He goes, that's as far as you'll ever get. He goes, I'm not working. And he's like, so what do you want to be a bartender? He goes, that's as far as you ever get. He goes, if you're lucky, you might make a good bartender. I can't see you doing anything else. I said, well, I might want to go to school and be a lawyer, because you can't be a lawyer when you're a criminal. It's not in your blood type. I mean, he just was saying, and at first, I was like, that girl that's insecure,

that talks to a pimped and a pimped thousand. And I was like that girl that's insecure that talks to a pimple and a pimple teller and I was like this guy is fucking crazy. He's not, he doesn't know anything about me. I just, I'm on coke and I had a bad run of life and I'm gonna get this, you know, and I left there and the whole point of getting, I think in 84 the whole point of getting out of that fucking rocket ship was to get my ship together Go put a bullet and it's fucking head That was the plan the whole time, but then over the do you think any of it is here? He was just trying to motivate you like didn't any of the There's a way to motivate people there's a way to talk to somebody with love

There's a way to talk to somebody Fucked up and then real and back with love. He just talked to me fucked up. There was no love. There was nothing. Sometimes your dad would go, we gotta do this. You know, and you feel bad and he was, I'm telling you, it's gonna be a dad. I love you. And then the way to the car, you go, you know what? I can't because he's talking to me from the heart. This guy said nothing from the heart. The only thing he threw at me from the heart was eight and This anger and this you know resentment and then the other thing that was more that story my mother had given him money This is what really shocked me because I was fucked up on drugs. It was five years later

But my mother had given him ton of money before she died. I Don't know what the terms were all whatever I don't know what the terms were or whatever. So I thought when I come out of here, he'd go, hey man, your mom gave me money before she died. She gave me 20,000. He's five. Get your life together. I wouldn't have complained.

I wouldn't have said anything. He didn't even make that effort, you know. So it was just a fucked up time. I'm going to talk about revenge. I love revenge. I've always loved when I already first Quarming with the fucking story I thought about when I was a kid one night this buddy of mine got hit and the guy was a lot older than him. We were probably 16 17 and this guy was in his 20s. I remember him from being like a freshman in high school. He was a lot older than I was.

And he was always a country. But he dated a friend, like a girl that I knew. And she was young. Like she was like a sophomore. And he was like a sophomore in college probably, you know. We were probably juniors in high school. And this guy hit a friend of mine and they go, bro, it would be my honor to let's get back at this guy.

Regardless of the win, whatever comes back from it. And we set up this thing and the guy came out, we hit him with a whiff of ball bat, we're rocks in it. We got a whiff of ball bat, we cut it, we put rocks in it, and then you put a big rock at the end so the rocks don't come out. You throw a little dirt in that motherfucker. You have no idea how hard a whiff of ball bad hurts when it's at the rocks It would probably hurt empty it burns empty. Yeah, it burns empty You get hit with a little bit more by 15 times the neck or somewhere the skin's exposed I just imagine on the back like

But we're rocks in it. Oh my god And that was my favorite revenge story. I've always, I've always day dreamed of revenge. I don't think I ever, the only thing I ever did was this freaking asshole in high school was pushing me around. He was younger than I was, but he was bigger because I was small. And one day he was messing with me in the gym locker room.

I don't remember exactly what he was doing, but I had enough. I was like, I think I was like a junior or a senior, and I just slammed him against the walkers. And we started, it was like the only real fight I've ever been in. We don't think any puncher were even thrown. I just remember slamming his head against the walkers.

And I got suspended for a day, but I was, so my mom was even mad. I was so happy. It was the only time I ever did it. You stuck up for yourself. It's weird that people think revenge is Revenge is like for me revenge isn't just about that. It's like when like somebody will go. Hey man fucking You know somebody will say to me. You know what? I you should make me your partner. I don't really think leaves a good partner for you And I go okay, and then the podcast to one of the award

Yeah, I'll see that person will I'll come in for a second. That's revenge to me. Yeah, I thought was always my big revenge. I feel that way now for like people who are me to me in high school and I go on a Facebook and they're still working at the high school jump, which is fine, but a little bit I feel like, yeah.

Take that bitch. Yeah, like a couple of them have hit me up, like they come out to LA and like we should hang out I'm like we were never friends in high school. Why am I gonna drive all the way to Los Feliz to see you now? Fucking no parking right, you know revenge like for me with my ex-wife. I really But I knew that If I stuck around and did well That would hurt her more.

She wanted me to either end up dead disappear or go to prison because that would never have contact with them again. But I kept out and for me that was my revenge. It was succeeding at something. So revenge is also something like that. Somebody fires you and says you're fucking idiot really? I'm gonna go over to your competitor and watch what I do over there. ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi ʻi You you