Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Cheeseburgers and cocaine

Episode Date: August 26, 2025

Kathrine Narducci, who you remember from The Sopranos, The Bronx Tale, and much more, joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt to talk about everything from being under the ether, loyalty (even to a pizza place), the important of, "the moment before." and the beauty of acting. SHOW NOTES If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code CHURCH at https://inda.shop/CHURCH  #indacloudpod Support the show, download the DraftKings Sportsbook app, and press in code JOEY. New customers bet $5 & get $300 in bonus bets instantly.s

Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. Like herpes, Uncle Joey, and my trusted little Cato, Lee Syatt, aka the Flying Jew, the church of what's happening now, New Testament is coming at you. What's happening, brother? Good to see you, dude. Good to see you. How was your weekend? I had a great time at Parks.

You did? Parks was fucking really cool. Yeah, I had a really good New Jersey. Actually, Parks is Pennsylvania, but I started. I did our buddy Pedro show in New Jersey, which is my, I love my favorite shows now, and I love doing shows with you. shows were like, I have to, it's basically like a fist fight. Like it was just at a bar. People were heckling the whole just talking and they were funnier

than some of the comics, which is my favorite is when the people at the bar, especially in New Jersey, they're funnier than some of the comics. And that was a blast. George came. Thank you very much. And then we did parks, which was, I've probably done parks like six or so times. We did it before you had this residency. I think this was the best, best I've done there. It was, and it's because you fucking made me cut 20 minutes of my act. Oh, it was brutal. About having kids. You got no fucking kids. You gave a chick that had kids four years ago, and you're still saying they four your titty's

chubby and all that shit. Knock it off. I could. Well, it worked. It was. I knew it was going to work. It was crazy. But do you see how material works? You have to let it go like a, a girlfriend with herpes. You got to let them go. You can't call them back. That's it. She gave me the fucking herp Thanksgiving, I'm done. For Thanksgiving. That's the fucking discipline. I ain't going back to that.

Right. Yeah, but it's hard to get rid of it, especially, I don't know, I hold on to it like it's like a life raft. I'm in the Titanic. Get rid of it. Get rid of it. Nobody wants to hear it. Get rid of it.

But you get rid of stuff like a week in. If they're just laughing from the top, I ain't want to say it. Right. I want to dig into them. And trust me, I ain't doing a good job of digging in it either. But that's what I'm saying to you, that. You know what material is not working. We all have material that's...

When you first start headlining, you go from doing 20 minutes at the club every night in California to doing 45 to an hour. Yeah, you're going to put 10 minutes in there. That's going to lullaby them. Until you build... But you're going to put it in the medium. They've already been dead for the first 20 minutes.

So from 23 to 30 minutes, you might have a stupid story about your grandmother that's two people laugh at. That's stalling. I do it too No, everybody does it But then those last 15 minutes You pick that shit up

Like a fucking And I was closing with it It was the best It was the like I thought It got laughs in certain rooms But it had started to like wane off And then when you told me to get rid of it I was not mad

I don't want to say mad But I was like How can I get rid of 20 minutes Like it's not God Jesus Christ I think when I get rid of material That's what I say to myself

Thank fucking God I don't have to do that stupid fucking joke Oh I'm at the point where I'm just trying to get material. And then five years from now, when you look at that YouTube tape, you're going to go, thank God he told me to get rid of that material.

Right. Thank God I got rid of that and everything else I sat on that fucking 30-minute special. That's how I feel. I looked at something last week, I was preparing for the weekend, and I looked at an old tape, and I was like, oh, my God,

I got to shut this shit off. But then how come when you're doing it and it's killing you're like, this is going great? Because you're under the ether. Your mind is playing tricks on you. It's like when you do, a shitty movie, but you think it's fucking great.

And on the set, everybody's talking about, oh, my God, and also some the movie comes out, and nothing happens. And you're like, and you look at the movie again and go, Jesus Christ, they're right. It's the same thing. We do it all the time. We meet a girl. We expect them.

They're single, and all of a sudden, we start fucking projecting. We're going to do this. I'm going to take her here, and all of a sudden. She stops calling you back. What the fuck? Right. It's... Ether is a motherfucker.

Ether is horrible. And you... Like, now I learn how to catch it. But I'm 60. I didn't need it now. I needed 30 fucking... When I was doing something, I could say in the middle of it,

this sucks. I'm out of here. I was thinking about that the other day. Isn't it fucked up? Like, you know the most, and then you have, like, no time left? Yeah. You get wise at the end,

and then you got three years left. I know how to swindle social security now. You know what I'm saying? You know, it's fucking crazy, the things you learn about yourself when it's too late. Like, after you hit somebody in the head with an iron, you learn, you know, restraint control or whatever the fuck they talk about. Anger management? Yeah, anger management.

You don't know these things. And ether's one of those things. You know, when a girl gets married, she's under the fucking ether. She's retarded. From the minute she gets the engagement ring to the day she walks on the aisle, she's damaged goods. She's got everything is great. The fucking pigeons are great. The mother's going to dress in black.

It's like a constant fucking mind fuck. And it's the ether. I'm going to do this. And Cindy's coming. And who gives a fuck about Cindy? We forgot what the fuck this day is about. So it's ether. Right.

It's ether. It's about you and her lasting forever. I don't want to go to a wedding. But while I'm on the wedding, I'm like, let's see if the odds are on draft kinks. Let's see if the odds are on fandom. You see it years ago. The fucking guy from San Antonio married the Mexican chick from Desperate Housewives. Nobody remembers that?

Tony Parker. They had a $50 million wedding, white pigeons, limos, white people, the whole fucking thing. He's black, she's fucking Mexican. They had white people there. Oprah was there. Then he cheated on her with the Mexican housekeeper two years later. You know, the chubby chick from the view. That fucking retard.

The chubby black chick. She had a big wedding, Long Island, Oprah, the Hamptons, everybody. He was fucking some ugly black chick three weeks later. You're under the ether. And you actually know he's fucking that chick. But as a woman, you're under the ether. You're getting married, motherfucker. His dick's been smelling weird.

His Brett's been smelling weird. He's been fucking staying out on hours. But you're getting married. You're getting married. And then after you get married, a year in, you're like, this motherfucker's been cheating on me since day one. But you were too busy under the ether because pigeons were going to get thrown out at your fucking wedding, you dumb motherfucker.

Well, like, your industry is kind of weird. Like, don't people get married as, like, entertainers or anybody just for, like, a business thing? Like, they do it knowing they don't love each other, knowing it's just for, like, four, like. Well, probably those Hollywood animals get married, you know, fucking, uh, the vampire and Katie Perry. She's retarded, you know. You know, that kid, Russell Brand, the vampire, whatever his fucking name is. I forgot about him. You know, these people, you know, they fall.

And that's the worst, those Hollywood couples, because it's all fucking ether. It's all ether. What about, I keep seeing, because I think his show's out now, Angelina Jolie and Billy Bob, like, when he had her blood around it and, like, they were, like, making out on the red carpet. Discussed. Discussed. Who's your father? Who raised you?

But no, it's, well, what you's just talking about is what really. happens to people. Right. We really go under the ether. And you could ask professional athletes, they'll tell you. That season, I didn't know what was going on. I was, I was banging my baby's mama. I was doing this.

I was doing that. You know, it's fucking hard, man. And we all fall under that. What, like, do you have a sign or, like, how do you notice you're under the ether? When you go see the finished result or when you see your set or you see how your set does or it's just something that you snap out. of it. Once you fucking see it, once you see it, you snap the fuck out of it. Is that why, like, when, like, you see, like, athletes?

And then you understand the whole, how it got there. Do you understand me? Like, once you see it go down, you'll go, oh, shit. You know, this Netflix special. I was doing comedy everywhere in town, but at the comedy store. Because in my mind, I thought that those people, like, those 240 people, going to add up, and everybody was going to see my jokes. So I went to all these clubs that I wouldn't perform usually at. When I shot the special, as I walked out of there, I knew the ether.

In my mind, I thought if I didn't go to the store, I would do better. It was a fucking stupid move. Thank God I recognized that, but I've done that 20 times. And I'm not just the only one. We have all done that. How many times have you shot a pilot? We shot a pilot. And everybody's giggling at the pilot.

Oh, that's the funniest fucking thing. And then the pilot don't get picked up. You already bought the house, so now you got to suck dick and start an only fan. Because you listen to everybody, and you bought a house. A half million in Long Island with your husband who's a plumber.

You know, he's barely making it. You know, new construction's down 80%. But you're hooked up with a fucking plumber. Okay. That's what it is. That's what it is. You know, and then you read the friend's story where they shot the pilot,

they got taken to Vegas, and the motherfucker gave him $500 a piece and said, go in the casino. This is the last time you're going to be able to walk like this, ever. Okay? So obviously there was no ether there. That was an inside hit job. That's from Israel. They had the six people.

That's a, no, anyway. But is there a difference? Like, have you, I know for fact the answer is yes. But have you ever gone offstage and been like, I fucking kill. You know. You know. you kill like and what do you think the difference is between that and ether well the the fucking proof is in the pudding you left bodies laying there right it's that special you shot that as you left there you're like oh my god that was the best thing I

ever did and then you see it on HBO and you're like fuck it you got to cash your check with a mask on oh Jesus okay like like when they did so plain that was DL Healy's joke he goes you guys saw so plain I know you did he goes trust me I was in it I had a cash to check with a Halloween mask up. That's hysterical. That's fucking hilarious. That's the truth. But while you're doing it,

think of all the celebrities in that movie. Right. On the way home, you're like, shit, Snoop, this, that, Kevin Hart, and also the movie bombs. So it's just, and I'm talking about movies and, you know, albums, comedians, you know,

a special got released last year. I anticipated special. It was dog shit. It was dog shit. There's a lot of those. A lot of those. And what happened? That dude.

was delusional. Right. While the specials airing, you're going, oh, no, because I've been there. While you're looking at the project, you're going, what the fuck was that? What was the guy that played the fucking doctor and the Sopranos at the end with Johnny Sack?

Fucking famous, that dude. Famous, at the end, he played the fucking doctor. Big-time guy. And the fuck, when Johnny Sack was dying of cancer, He was telling him, I'm a doctor. I shot my wife. I shot the mailman because at that point I had to commit and I shot his, her mother who was in the other room.

That dude was fucking well known. When I moved to L.A. Sidney Pollock? Huh? Sidney Pollock. Sidney Pollock. Sidney Pollock, I shot CBS's answer to NYPD Blue. They paid Sidney Pollock a million fucking dollars to direct that.

You got to hear me talking shit. I was looking at helicopters houses in Miami houses in New York it was set to go they told us when we were shooting the pilot the pilot was fucking dog shit and the show

never got aired they were going to use it a mid-season replacement but it was such bad dog shit they couldn't do anything with it Bronx County what the fuck that's what I'm talking

and that's when I learned I was in there going holy shit I'm going to buy a bolt a car everything Tony Montana on it like hey i'm gonna get my own fucking island i'm gonna do everything and then they're fucking you know so you never fucking know anymore guys just it's ether and there's nothing you could do we control it more as we get older or something it's like a basketball but it's like fucking five slamma jammer against villanova whoever that guy's name what villanova who's who's five slamma jammer the guy that had cancer you

When they played that year, they gave fucking the other team 13 points. I was in court. I remember. That's when court was in New York City at night. I got arrested buying pot in Harlem. And I had to go to court downtown. And it made me go to court at 7 o'clock the night of the national championship. I'm running back and forth calling sports phone.

Putting fucking a dollar in sports phone, it's too low. And in those days, if sports phone was too low, you couldn't adjust the volume. There was no volume. You got beat. You're like, God damn it. And then you have to put another quarter in. Hi, it's sports phone. We come out of you every 15 minutes.

They were giving 13 points and then halftime, I think fucking the other team, whatever, was winning by 13 fucking points. They went in there with this ether. They were five slam a channel. They let the league and fucking this and that and slam dunks and three-pointers. And Valvano just fucking ripped the floor with him. I can't believe you were in court checking a score. Oh, fuck yeah.

never forget that. Did you put the bed in before court? Yes, I did. In those days, there wasn't no drafting. From the phone and the courthouse? I don't know. I think I called him from a pay phone. That is wild. How you doing, Louis, Red Corvette? Confirm your number, 648. What do you like? Give me the lines on, there was no fucking halftime or first quarter. They'd give you like a code name? Yeah, you had a code name. Oh, shit. And I used to use my school teacher had a connection. Okay. And he had a gray cavalier. So that was his name, Greg Cavalier. So I would look at his phone when he called.

One day I stole the number, and I started calling Greg Cavalier. It can be San Diego 50. And I saw him a week later. He's like, somebody's been calling in my account. Mr. McGrath, the quarterback coach. It's not really like the, shouldn't there have been a better way to get a code name? If you're using your car as your code name, aren't the cops going to figure it out?

Lee, who gives a fuck? Okay, it was 1982. You think I'm worried about code names in 1980? I would be. Don't worry about nothing. You've got more problems, cocaine and cheeseburgers. Don't worry about the fucking... You got more problems.

You got problems about cocaine and cheeseburger. Never mind you saying Gray Cavalier over the fucking phone. Okay? I like cheeseburgers. I know you do. And it was 1988 too, so cocaine was in your bloodstream, too. I hope you like cocaine with... I hope you like cheeseburgers with cocaine used the salt on your cheeseburger.

What do they call that? They call it a black dick. We'll be right back, cock suckers, with our guest. Hey, Uncle Joe here. I don't know if you guys got the message, but Sundays just got way more fun because college football is back, baby. No going to church.

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Four additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash audio. Oh, Uncle Joey here. As soon as 5 o'clock hitch, you're ready to unwind, right? You turn your brain off for a while and start your journey to the moon within the cloud. Listen, get yourself some legal, vegan, lab-tested hemp and derived THC products and get ready for a great time. Listen, I love these products, especially the vampire. IndyCloud is available in different THC levels, so you're never getting a surprise high. And remember what I'm telling you here, if you've got to be 21 over.

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first order. When you order, fill out that quick little survey and it supports the show and keeps in the cloud sending you the good stuff. So go ahead, grab a gummy and vibe out within the cloud. I just did. We're back, Jack. Uncle Joe, with my girl here. What's your name? Devin Noghucci? Lorraine Brock. No, no, no, no, no. It's, uh, I'm too high. It's Katvin, not, Noducci, motherfucker. I know. The fucking edible hit me.

What's happening, beautiful? What's going on? I haven't seen you in years. You don't even know where you guest is. Oh, my God. What's up, beautiful? Holy shit. Thank you for coming over.

Thank you. I know it's a long hike over on the ferry. I was like Barbara Streisand on funny girl. Don't rain on my parade. I wanted to sing on the tip of the ship. You could sing now. They love you on the Camerland. Everything is beautiful.

Everything is warm. There's your new career. Huh? Broadway. No. Listen, I don't even want to go into the city. Joey the musical. Joey the musical, that's next.

I like that. That's next. That sounds catchy, doesn't it? Yeah, yeah. I would like to see the musical. Well, what are we going to sing about? That's the fucking problem. Just sing your life out.

Sing your life out. Sing your life out. Some Spanish song, from a. I love it. That would be fucking thing. Tell your story singing. Oh, they wait. You know, they say tell your story walking?

Yeah. Tell your story singing. Listen, I can't walk and talk at the same time. Can you tell me? If I'm walking, I'm focusing, I'm walking. Do me a favor. I'm going to give you one acting challenge. Go ahead.

Can I? Yeah. I want you to sing the story that you told me about somebody, we won't say who and told them under the bus. invited you after dinner, but they wanted you to go to an applebees. Sing that story. Listen, there's no song to sing that shit. And he grew up with me, and he was like, bro, wait, do you have this food?

$35, you get an entree and two appetizers. And I'm like, oh, my God, he is gone. And did he tell you about the price first or the restaurant was first? No, he told me the price, and I'm like, this sounds like a commercial. This is Applebee's. I watch TV at night, 12 news. I watch New Jersey weather, and fucking, this is the commercial they play, Applebees. You see?

You heard me tonight before my spiel. I'm very fucking serious about food. And when I was in California, you asked him how hard I railed him, because we're fucking East Coast people. Yeah. We don't need to be reminded of what we can't and can't eat from our childhood. But we're not going to eat shit just to hang out with people. Like, I refuse that

Like, I refuse that shit Yeah Like if you call me and go Hey, we really want to invite you to a table read And I've done this before Across from where Up the block from church's chicken Not churches

To one in L.A. With the fucking Waffle House Oh, with the Wauskos. But across the street There's a studio A couple blocks from there Gower Studios So Gower Studios

I was supposed to go there For a table reading shit And they're like We're going to take you the lunch first at the Hindu restaurant across the street and I can't smell curry and I told them I can't smell curry I get sick and they're like nah

we're gonna have it it's gonna be great and I go I'm not going in there because I'm gonna get sick from the curry I'm telling you I cannot smell that pungent curry I don't mind all the other stuff it's the curry that bothers me yeah it's a strong smell and I wouldn't go in there and I didn't get the road

because I wouldn't go I didn't give a fuck I don't eat curry pop it don't eat curry wow I don't want to smell it either it makes me sick up my cheeks get red I'm like, kids are allergic to fucking peanuts. I'm allergic to carry. He also refuses to go to Thai restaurants because one had bugs in it. Yeah.

Yeah. No, because I had a friend who had a wife that was Thai and she didn't do the dishes. And the kitchen was always dirty and she had those fruit flies in the kitchen. So if you're a woman and you alive fruit flies in your kitchen, you have fruit flies in your ass. And I don't want to do business with you. And this is why he doesn't eat pad Thai. Except he breaks his own rules. See, that's what it gets me

Is he has rules for everything From one place But I get it from a Japanese place Across my house That doesn't even make sense And it's not that good either You know what I'm saying? I'm talking about LA

Where you like toy The best pat Thai is toy Yeah But I won't go in toy Because they make you take your shoes off Listen I know my feet smell like I've never been to Toy Toy is right on Shreder

Down the block from the guitar center It is the best T-O-I T-O-I toy Not T-O-Y Toy I don't know What am I spelling bee

I can't be by my Chinese now. I don't know this shit. Toy, T-O-I. Toy. Toy. Okay. I need to know one thing. Can I ask you a question?

No. What is the ether? Who? Ether. What you and I were talking about? What is ether? Ether, all right, in common terms, ether is a chemical that they wash cocaine with.

In the 80s, we had so many problems. In the 80s, they were using so much ether to clean cocaine. that's why by 87, 88, cocaine started smelling funny because they started taking the ether out and using turpentine and all that shit instead. But it's better with ether. It cleanses the cocaine and it gives it that smell. You could get ether.

Ether is not what they give you the dentist office. Yeah, they use that to knock you out. I know that. I know that ether. But when you use it in terms of the stories you were telling. Ether is a thing that You use it and you stand up. Okay, let's say you go buy a car.

Yeah. And you want a $2,025, whatever, and it's $80,000. Okay. But you run into a motherfucking salesman like me. And we start talking and I go, listen, I have the same car on the lot, $40,000, blah, blah, blah. Now you start, I tipped into your ether. You could save $40. Now you're thinking about all the things you could do with the $40.

Wait, wait, hold on. Right there. What is that ether? What do you mean? Hold on. Ether is your mind playing tricks on you. Now it starts telling you, oh, yeah, yeah. I could cheat on my husband. I could fucking go to a co-play concert.

I could afford $40,000 that my husband didn't know. Oh, whatever. I don't know what your motivation is. But you were worried more about that 40 G's that you bought a fucking lemon. You got so caught up in the money that you didn't even look under the fucking hood. You bought a lemon. and it's ether is when you start believing something a lie and we all been in that situation okay when i was when i was a kid my mother had a value and she died and but two years later her value

was 20 times the amount but i was going to get and at the end that wasn't going to get anything i was under the ether not to mention cocaine quailudes and all the other fucking things that fucking distort your mind. That's what I'm saying. Okay. It's called ether. I get it. It's like when you look at a guy that comes out of prison for 10 years and you're going

to hook up with him and I'm going to change him. He's such a sweetheart. He calls me when I get home. Yeah. Every guy calls you when you get home the first month. How did you get home? Did you get home safely? How's your mother?

Yeah. Everybody's a sweetheart in the beginning. That's right. And then you have these women. Then they come back with a black eye and a busted nose. Oh, shit. Yeah. He's so sweet.

He's rehabilitated. What fucking, because maybe he's got an 18-inch dick and he puts it in your ass that comes out of your fucking ear. I don't know. I don't fucking know these things, but I do know that there's ether.

You ever watch those shows where the black guy gets out of prison and she's dating a fat little blonde chick from Louisiana or something? They have that show on one of those, with the midgets, to have a show with the midgets. I've never seen this show.

To have a channel that's dedicated to all this week. Oh, TLC? TLC. okay i thought there's all one show that women hook up with guys locked up and you have to see their expectations and you're like i remember coming out of prison myself and sitting with my wife at the time my girlfriend in the front seat and just blabbing off how christ took my life and all i'm thinking about is a grandma blow and eating her ass you know what i'm saying do you know what i'm going to college i'm gonna be a doctor i'm gonna fucking speak at universities I'm going to do this. Knock it off. How long are you in prison? 10 months, nine months.

Oh. But you know what I'm saying? Like there's this ether that we fall into. Yeah. And ether is another word for us wanting to believe something's going to happen. Yeah. If I get on Kill Tony and do my one minute, the world will get to see me and I can get on the fucking Tonight Show or HBO could give me a deal.

That's ether. But it's almost like you're delusional. E. But you've only been doing comedy for a year and a half. But the crazy thing is it's not, like, these things do happen. People do get on kill Tony. People do get discovered in L.A. And like, go from, they do happen.

So, like, it, like, it fucks with you. Like, it does, like, you think it's, you know, you think it's a possibility. And it is a possibility, but it's, I just had the ether happen to me with a car. Like, I did, like, sometimes, like, you always talk about, like, doing too much research or, like, thinking too much about. I did all this research on a car. I love the, until I got it. No, I was like, there's eight things I hate about it. I just did too much with it.

So it's, and it's weird how you don't snap. But you were saying you snapped out of it. Like you were able to snap out of it. Well, no, you, well, you blow so much smoke up your ass so long. That's what I'm trying to say. Like, I blew so much smoke up my own ass for so long that now I know how to not to blow that smoke up my ass anymore. Okay, that's what I'm talking about ether. It's ether is a chemical, but it's a state that we go into

and we want something to work in our lives and we'll push everything else out, even though it's pointing us. And it's not something that you're being positive about. This is like the motherfucker that comes up to you and says, if I grow a pound of weed with your name on it, you know, okay, there's sponsors that'll come on this show. And after two times, they'll call and go, nothing happened and I'll go what did you want to happen and then they'll go well if we don't

get a sale by this week we want you to do two ads for free and I go that's not how it works that's not how this works see people want to believe that one time doing something is going to work and I tell them yeah you could put an ad here but I also want you to put an ad on CNN it's cheap at night after midnight it's cheap you need to do print you need to do social media ads and after people see your name a different situation. That's right. One day they'll say, you know what, I'll give it to $1.99. You know, it's not just fucking you.

You know how many people have contacted me to put their juice or their coconut oil or their fucking seed moss on Joe Rogan's podcast? And I'll say to them, listen, it's not my job. And they'll go, well, you don't understand. I have a kid who's got leukemia. I can't help you. I can't help you. Yeah.

Like people come at you like that. like I have an aunt. She's got one eye. She needs surgery. It's $400,000. If you get this on Rogan, it'll save me. Yeah. I won't even enable you.

Yeah. If you tell me that. I'm not going to enable you. I'm not going to go, okay, I'll get you on Rogan, which he'll never go for it anyway. Yeah. But there's people that actually believe that. They're at home right now.

Look at the liver king. He wanted to go on Rogan so bad. he went to Austin, shit in the hotel, and he got arrested, you know. People just have, you, come on, Kathy, how many people come up to you with movie scripts, and they go, if you could talk. Every day.

If you could. My DM is filled with them. And what are you, and what are they telling you that they'll be made? They think that this one movie, and they'll be quitting Tarantino. I kind of feel bad when I get DMs. So do I.

So do I. How do you think I feel? I know this person put so much into it, and they don't know. They're still so green. They think if they get me attached or, like, can you give it to this person? It just don't work like that. Like, you don't just go in front of the whole line. Like, this took years to get where I am.

It took years for me to get whatever I have. You don't just DM somebody think the script's going to land on my lap. And overnight, you're going to be an overnight success because now I have your script and I'm going to hand it to something. You know, I'm going to hand it to somebody and it's going to make your dreams come true. It doesn't work like that at all. I just felt bad when people put so much into, you know, one person, me, you, whoever else they're DMing. And I understand where they're coming from.

So I have empathy that I know, like, this person doesn't really get it and he doesn't understand how it works and how you really go through. a real process of pitching your script to real producers. You don't just DM an actor. I'm just an actor. I'm trying to get a movie too. I'm trying to work myself. Like, just because I know people, I'm not going to take your script.

I don't even know you. You're a stranger DMing me and hand it to one of my friends. If I'm going to hand my friends one of my scripts, it's going to be something that I need from my script that I wrote. And I'm going to use that favor for myself, which I don't even ask people for favors ever. I'm very uncomfortable with it. And now the stranger that I never met is like,

Ms. Narducci, will you read my script and it doesn't work like that. But I understand you. And more props to you. Go after your dream. Do whatever you got to do. Knock on every door. Break down every door. Try to get your thing out there.

Try to, you know, I get people like, can you put a word for me on, you know, Godfather Harlem or when I was on soprano, or any show that I was on or any movie, will you tell them I'll be an extra or this or that? Like, it doesn't really work like that. And I feel bad for these people who DM, because I want to help everybody. But if I helped everybody, what they don't know is behind you,

I have 50,000 other DMs, where people asking the same thing as you. And I want you all to win, but this is not how it works. It could, though. So never stop doing what you might think is impossible, always do it, but it really, the odds are not really in your favor of it working that way, the shortcut, DM this person, boom, get the hit, it's going to work, everything is going to work out.

It doesn't really work like that. I wanted to work like that, you know, for me, something like that kind of work with me. You know, I walked off the street, open audition, got a Bronx tale, and it did work like that. So that's why I have empathy for these people that. are trying like the one shot, if I just do it, you know, DM people, however they're doing it. It might work. Maybe somebody will answer you and we'll get it to somebody. So don't stop whoever you are.

Keep doing what you're doing if that's the way you want to do it. But most likely it won't work that way. You've got to go through the proper channels. And I think you have more of a shot working it that way going. And I have empathy also And that's what you have to look at it And I'm empathetic also But here's where it doesn't get good

Sometimes I've helped those people Yeah I've been one of those guys that said Let me see what I could do Yeah And I've gotten something I've done it too And then it doesn't turn into one favor

It turned into two or three So it went from my watch borrowing my watch for the day To now you're going for my whole arm Well that's right People don't know when to stop That's one thing Yeah.

And then the other thing is I look at the reasoning they're coming at me with. And like I said to you guys, I've had people contact me and say, I need this. My daughter's got leukemia. They know I have a daughter, so they hit me that way. Yeah. Okay, they hit me with weird stuff that I know what they're called a guilt punch. This weed shit, this weed business shit, those are the biggest maggots in the world. They're the biggest maggots in the world.

The weed business, the way they leach onto you, they're the biggest fucking maggots in the world. the world. And that's why I don't mess with none of them. I've cut them all off. You can't even give one of those motherfuckers a prop. Because next thing you know, you're a spokesman for their company. Oh. And you can't, dog. You got to be very careful. Yeah. And you try to walk the earth as a Christian, kung fu, you know, helping people out. Yes. But people don't know when they fucking, when no is no. People don't know when. You reach your limit. When there's nothing I could do for you. I I wish I could help you. Yeah.

But you're at, you know, I can't, before anything happens in my world, I got 20 people that I love and cheer for. Before I donate to the Red Cross or fucking this guy, I got 20 family numbers. You know what I'm saying? Yes. If you think I'm going to give $200,000 to some art gallery to have a party and drink wine, ha, ha, ha, ha.

But my fucking people are starving. My people ain't doing shit. No, I'm not doing that. Yeah. That's what most people do. They want to save the world, but not the people in front of their fucking eyes, okay? Yeah. I'm one of those guys.

So you want me to do this for you, but meanwhile, I got people in front of you. Yeah. That I've been with me for 20 fucking years, walking around, eating, taking shit, fucking whatever, you know. And that's what people don't understand either. Like, I get requests for things. I mean, I get people asking me to ask Joe Rogan for UFC tickets. Oh, what? I want tickets.

Don't even know the man. Yeah. I get people asking me to give De Niro. That's the biggest request. Can you give this to De Niro? My father was in the mafia and they think he's really in the mafia. I'm like, look, I was married to him in a movie. He's not really my husband.

I can't ask for favors like that. It was fake. I'm not really. And, but I do like you, I help where I can help. But people that I know, or sometimes, a stranger. One stranger will hit it right, say it right, do it in a way right, where they're not trying to not do it right. They're just being them and it's, I see it's coming from a raw, honest place. And they're like, Ms. Narducci, if there's anything, I'll be an extra, this

that. And I'll go look at their page and I'll look at their face and I'll look at their eyes and I like this guy. I'm going to help this one. And I'll go and I'll go to casting if I'm on a show and I'll be like, if there's any extra stuff, get this guy. And I'll help, I'll help. I'll help my friends if I can help, you know, even acquaintances. Most of my friends are on their own and they're doing their own thing. They don't really need my help. But like some acquaintances that want to be like, get me a little role, an extra job

or something like, I will go right to casting. I have no problem with that. If I'm on a show, you do have a connection with casting. That's somewhere where you do have a little, not pull, but a real connection where they may listen to you, you could help them with some extras. And I can do that. I'll do that.

I'll help people. Or my friends that are actors, like certainly you, you're a great actor. Like, I'll be like, he should be on Godfather. What are you kidding? Or like, whatever I do, I always mention my friends. But the people will just DM and send me a whole script.

They expect you to read. You know, you're so busy. You've got so much shit on your own teeth. And the motherfuckers are the ones when you're eating dinner or you're at a bar talking to somebody you haven't seen in 10 years and they come up to you, excuse me. And I don't mind the excuse me.

Nice to meet you or take a picture. Yeah. But it's the motherfuckers that had three drinks in them. Yeah. See, because once you involve alcohol, that's a complete different animal. Yeah. Now they want to sit next to you and stand there

and ask your creepy questions. Listen, I'm telling fucking Catherine Narducci, my life's story. I don't need you over here, but they don't understand that. Yeah. And if you say something to them, they get offended. Yeah. They want to talk business at 11 o'clock when you're on three mushrooms. You smoke 18 joints and you're fucking high.

And it's like, Guy, go away. It's never, like people, we talked to last week about, I learned something from acting and I took it for the rest of them. my life. What was it? The moment before. Love it. The moment before. It's so important. But then when you look at the moment before life, when some guy runs down the streets and says, Catherine, fuck you. I hated you and the sopranos and it's 8.30 in the morning. And now you have two things. You can look at him and go, go fuck your mother and lower yourself. You can keep walking and go, what happened to him at 8.05 in the morning? Yeah. What happened to him? But his wife bite

his dick, she did what happened to him the moment before. Because if you go at him, when he comes back with a knife and stabs you. It's like people on road rage, when you get beat up in a fucking car, you don't know what that guy was the moment before. Yeah. It's so very important. It's so important. So, you know, I'm sitting there talking to Catherine Narducci at a bar having three drinks

with her. This idiot comes over. Hey, Bucco! Hey, this guy, big pussy. And then on and on. And all of a sudden you're like, you know, my mother. just died. And they just cry. They don't know what the moment before. So when you walk over there, be very cautious. And that's something that you learn at your home. That's not something

you learn at night. You learn nothing in your home. Your mother taught you that shit. You know, approach him, say hello, and keep fucking walking. He's talking to a woman. People feel like they know you. And listen, these are all the things of why we got into our business. These are all the opposite. Like, I just watch Ola-O-L-A. Did you ever see O'A-L-A-L-A? No. The Rolling Stones in South America.

No. How Mick Jagger walks by himself. Mick Jagger loves to fuck with people. So, like, remember a year ago he went into Nashville and sat at the bar like an hour? He's the king of that shit. Yeah. And they asked him, they said,

Bill Murray does that too. Yeah. Aren't you scared that people are going to bother? And Mick Jagger goes, it's part of the gig, man. Yeah. It's really part of the gig. that's all part of the gig. I love people.

It's the people that come up to you expecting something. Yeah. You know, I told the joke on stage. I go to a strip club by my house. Once or twice, I go in there. I eat some mushrooms. This is true? Yeah, I go in the mom.

You know, there's like, listen, there's nothing there to see. There's nothing. They have TVs, and the music is good, and the DJ is hilarious. Because he curses and stuff. He's like, get this big-ass bitch up on stage. And all that type of shit. So you're just strolling, dip in and out, get a muse, go home. I'm strolling, I know the, I won't even get a lap dance.

Yeah. I'm too embarrassed. You're just going in, you're getting the dip in and out, little muse, go home. Every time I'm going to go in there. Wrap it up. The second, the first night I went in there was great. The second night, three kids come over with me, all creepy. Now, this is a strip club.

Look your best. They still got the hat on from the farm. You know, three fucking dooze and botzes from, you know, like they said, if they're from anywhere else from Brooklyn, they're all. farmers. These guys were farmers. They had them bathe. It's Friday. They went right from work to out. And they come over to me, you know, you're Joey Diaz. And I'm in a strip club. Dancing titties, Russian chick up there shaking the tits, looking at the pole. You Joey Dears? Yeah, I'm Aaron Rogers. No, I'm Aaron Lerner. Hey, do you really know Joe Rogan? They're 25 years old.

Then they start with, does he really ill? Eat elk meat every day? Does he really go in a tub? And I go, yeah. But the whole time I'm thinking, this is society. It's like that guy you bumped into with the big ass that said a load of... Oh, God. They got no testosterone.

Why would a 25-year-old talk to a fat fuck felon, old fuck, about another old fuck that lives in Texas that eats elk? There's pussy everywhere. There's bitches everywhere. But you rather talk to me about Joe Rogan? and does he eat elk on a Friday fucking night and you want to ask me what's wrong with fucking society at the highest level that's what's wrong with society

I'm there with a bunch of pussy whether you like it or not it's still pussy you can smell it in the fucking air and you want to talk about Joe Rogan what are you doing that case I put my beard down and I get in the car and I go home and smoke 15 joints and pray for society

Pray that the Jewish, the Israeli don't get them. Play that Israel don't get them. What do you do? What the fuck do you do? When I'm going to strip up, I don't want to talk. First off, I'm 62. I can't hear you. If there's music on?

No, me either. You want to come and talk? You're going to be green in the face. Yeah. Because I'm just going to go, really? Yeah, and then look over. And you can keep talking after that, because I'm looking at bitches.

I didn't come here to talk to fucking anybody. Okay? I want to look at naked women. I'm 62 years old. I've earned that right. Yeah, you have. I'm out of the park with a long jacket, a rain jacket on. You're not even getting a lap dance.

You're allowed to sit there and look. I don't want a lap dance. That's still embarrassing, too. Yeah. And you come in your pants and you squeak out of there. In my own... I got the squeak out of it with that fun. And then I got an itchy nut and red skin for a month

because I didn't want to dry patch it in the car. No. I'm too old for that show. Yeah. Man, this is a lot of information. We know how we do it here, Catherine. Oh, man. So I want to ask you a question now.

Go ahead. You sent me a funny photo because you liked the movie, The Altol Nights. One of my favorites. And you sent me a photo. I love that you sent me the photo of your house, your TV in your... Where was that?

Basement. In your basement. And it was, I think it was, was it me on the screen? Yeah, it was you. In the Alta Nights. Yeah. I want to ask you, what is it that, what do you think it is that you like about that movie? What is it that you like about it?

Well, let's get back to basics. I've always liked you. So I loved you in the Bronx tale. Then you popped up in fucking the Sopranos, and you were really good in that. I really enjoy you. Thank you. There's not a lot of people I enjoy, enjoy. And I'm the type of guy, if I know you, I kind of cheer for you.

Right. For the movie, like when you're in the movie, I'm cheering for you while I'm watching the movie. I loved you in that other fucking movie. The Irishman? Which one? Irishman? Yeah, when you took Joe Pesci's clothes off. Oh, yeah.

I loved that scene. Thank you. You know, not that you took his clothes off. He said, take off your shoes and whatever. Yeah, the bloody clothes. I love when you came down, how you looked. But this movie, there was something different about you. This movie was you.

You know, Aerosmith is Aerosmith. Guns and Roses is Aerosmith on steroids. This was Catherine Narducci on steroids. This was all your years' work because you've always been funny just being you. Arthur, they told you not to shoot the fucking gun off in the city limits, you know. You always got to say fucking something, you know.

But this movie, you were extremely funny. Your character really played out and your beauty played out. It was such a... I was disappointed when the... that movie came out, I read for that movie. And I was very, I wasn't disappointed. I didn't get it.

I'm not one of those guys. Could I ask you what role did you read for? Tony Bender. Everybody read for fucking Tony. And then they cast you from Tony Bender. And the scene I read for, they broke it up into five guys. Fucking brilliant. We could talk for hours about that movie.

Wow. The scene when he's yelling at the TV, Vito. Yeah. And they go, tell him about Columbo. He let off whatever the dude. The dude jumped six stories with a five-foot. blanket and all that shit. Yeah.

That was all one character. They broke it into five different bosses talking about how Columbo put that guy in for mayor. And to let the guy they shot in the barbershop. Oh, Michael. Michael was Poli's character. Joe... Marizano or whatever's name is.

Yeah. Mazzarano or whatever the fuck. I'm so mad. I don't know. Can't think of it right now. But the fucking court scene, you are fucking brilliant. He spends all his money on the Putans.

It was very reminiscent of the scene when Christopher gets the AA thing, when you all go to his house. He gets the intervention. The intervention. It became a circus. That court thing became a circus. And then you even say it in the scene.

This has become a circus. But the beauty about this... You're a clown. You're a clown. You spend all your money with the Putans. Ask him. He gives all his money to the Putans. I'm a broke man.

And he's there fighting. He's my stepfather. I haven't made him a dollar in years. I'm an old man. I live on Social Security. And you're like, bags of money come to his house. But the beauty about that whole scene and how it was written, that at the end, you come back and you go,

and your honor, you want me to tell you what the fucking dumbest thing in the world is. I still fucking love him If he asked me to take me back I'd take him back today Dysfunctional That's a beautiful fucking scene That's funny And no you know the scene was written like that

I know you improvised I know he told you just do what you do But even that scene Like no matter what happened I still love him You sold that You really sold all Thank you

How he tortured you You know with the money When he comes in to get the fucking money From the register Oh yeah And Tony's there And I jump over the ball And I jump over the bar

There's just I enjoyed that movie When that movie came out I was really depressed Like it had been out And somebody goes I go that movie didn't come out yet And they're like yes it did It's in the fucking movie to this

I go no it's not And I went online I'm like oh my God It's in the movie today I didn't know Nothing Wow To the release date

I didn't see an ad I didn't see an internet Nothing Yeah they didn't really over publicize it too much. And the problem is when you have such a big budget like that on a film like that, there's a lot of...

You ever put on an Amazon film late at night that you've never seen or never heard of? I don't have Amazon. Five out of ten of them are horrible. Okay. Like I just watched one about Donafrio. He's a mob boss in Brooklyn, and he goes... He gets hit in the head, and he goes into a treat.

Oh, shit. Oh, my God. It's horrible, but funny. Vincent did not feel? Yeah. He becomes, he's a mob boss, and now he gets hit in the head. He gets, oh, his old men go to shoot him. He jumps into a lake.

They think he's dead, and he shows up on a tree. What do you mean, in a tree house? In a tree house, because they're going to tear down the forest, so he wants to sit in a tree house. So he's a mob boss. They're all coming to him going, please, Vito, come down. In a tree house. In a fucking tree house.

Oh, my God. Cute movie. But then there's, like, another one. There's like 20 Italian movies on there that all of them should be banned. All of them. Are you in Great Bend? No. And then.

Not even just taking off, just banned. What's that? They should be banned. These movies have just never made them. But there's a movie on Amazon. Let me tell you the cast. Go ahead. Godfather of Harlem.

The black dude. The black dude. Yeah. Oh, are you talking about... Forest Whitaker. It's Forrest Whitaker. Oh, Faris Whitaker. It's Ray Leodota.

it's fucking Justin Timberlake's wife Jessica Beal? Fucking gorgeous I mean it's an all-star lineup The English kid from the movie with fucking Angelina Jolie I mean great names

Movie was shot in toy Movie was It was shot in toy But I have a friend who was the hot dog man on that movie It's a movie about Ray Lealda comes out of prison And he goes to see his daughter And it's Jessica Beal but he can't tell her

and Jessica kind of hits on him and now he's caught between a rock and the hard place and he's going to die. Wait a minute, his daughter's hitting on him? She doesn't know it's his father. Oh, that's creepy. He goes to the strip club. Wait, how is this movie, though?

It's a good movie. It's very interesting. Why? Oh, shit. You know who plays the strip club owner? Roadhouse, the dude who died of cancer with a fucking wig on like Walter McAllo. Who?

What's the guy that died of cancer from Roadhouse? Oh, Patrick Swayze. Dog, it's an all-star fucking liner. But I have a buddy who plays a hot dog man in the scene with Forrest Whitaker. One of Gabriel Iglesias is buddies. So I bumped into him and I go, bro, good dude, too. I forget he's not a commercial amount too. I go, bro, I saw you in that movie.

You were fucking great. I go, why didn't that movie ever get released? And he goes, they put so much money into the actors and the locations and shit that they ran out of money for the advertising. Wow. Really? And he goes, it happens a lot. What's the name of the movie?

I-M-D, blue, blue something. IMDB. Patrick Swayze and who? Just put Ray Leodas, IMD, and look at that. Yeah, I got to know. We got to know now. Yeah, no, this movie is fucking wild. And, like, they shot it all on Gardner.

They shot it where I live. They shot, oh, I know all those businesses there. So the end of gardener is a floral shop. And that they just closed that during the pandemic. Because that's where, fucking... Powder blue. Powder blue. Powder Blue.

Who's in the movie? Tell him the cast. Yeah, give us the cast. You got Jessica Beal, Eddie Redmayne, Forrest Whitaker, Rayleighote, O'Don, Los Angeles. I thought Vincent Zonofrio was in it. No, no, no, no. The other guy in Roadhouse. No, Forrest Whitaker, the Godfather Hallam.

That's one of them. Oh, wait, what was Vincent Sinofia when in it? Oh, oh, wait, he lived in the tree house. Right. What was that movie? Shit. This movie had to be long. Patrick Swayze, he's dead long.

2009. Oh. Amando Casillo. That's my brother. He's, he's in the movie. He plays a hot dog man. Yeah, his name's Jose. Yeah, he fucking told me. He goes, they ran out of budgeting. They ran out of advertising money.

Wow. A lot of times, a movie that'll happen. So that's what I thought happened with Alton Nights. But I still wanted to see it at the time. I couldn't take my daughter. I'd take my daughter to movies. That's nice. She was too busy with softball and shit.

So finally it came. on TV. Yeah. I paid for it first. Yeah. I paid for it. And I fucking liked it. I loved you. I loved Deborah Messing. I loved... De Niro. Did you like him? As Vito, I mean, listen, I'm a De Niro dude. But as Vito, oh my... He was so good. Oh, my fucking God. A couple of those wise guys in that movie were fucking great. His partner, Tony Bender. I didn't like the way they portrayed. Tony Bender passed the way. Did he? After the movie came out. before it came out.

I really love that guy. I didn't like Vito in that movie. The guy that played, no, Vincent. The guy that played what Vincent plays in Godfather of Harlem, the guy that was the boxer. Oh, the chin. The chin. I didn't like the chin in that movie.

They made him look like a retard. The chin wasn't a retard. He just shot the guy. By mistake, he didn't shoot him right. Instead of shooting him three or four times, he shot him and ran away. But that guy didn't go on to fucking. lead a crime family, being a retard.

He ended up playing a retard later in his life, but it was also a scam. He was that brilliant that he played. Why? He played that he was crazy. That's the only guy they didn't like in that movie how they played him. Everything else was solid. I liked the name of the club,

the social club was the Alto Knights. Yeah, the Alton Nights. I liked how Columbo was very politically fucking, that's what a gangster was, you know. They got to be in politics, rocking it. And I liked all that. And you were great, man. I thought the movie was so good.

I thought De Niro was on his game. I loved everybody in it. I loved the whole cast, and I love Tony Bender. I thought he was so authentic and real, and his acting was honest. He was so chill, that guy, always just like himself. And that's the key to acting. You have to bring yourself. You have to, have to have to.

And I love what you said about acting. That's the key, too, the moment before. It's like, it's so important the moment before. And what do you want from a scene also? It's like, how do I want you to feel when I walk in this room? How do I want you to feel right? What's my objective? I want to be a good guest on this show.

That's my objective today, right? I want it, I want it to be a good show. So try to find, what would I do to do that? Good subjects to talk about, make it interesting. But be natural and organic. That's my objective. I just want to people to like the show. I hope people like this show and find it interesting.

And how do we do that? We just come up with good subjects that we want to connect with people who are watching it. So, you know, if we were filming this as a movie, it would be the same thing. What's your objective in this scene when you're filming the podcast scene? Oh, I just want to be a good guest in the scene. Right? It's so simple. Keep it all simple.

keep everything simple. And the moments before are great. It's a great thing. I'm glad you learned that. A long time ago. Like when I first got to LA, that's so great. And I learned that that was a $35 a month acting class.

His name was Frank something, Italian guy from Brooklyn. Wow. And he taught on Monday nights. And I started with him, Frank Perna, something like that. And I started with him because he was close to the house. He was cheap. But the only thing I didn't like, what it was, it was Monday nights. And Monday nights was the hot comedy night in L.A.

So I'll have to go to class, do a scene, and then leave. I didn't like doing that. Yeah. The guy was such a good teacher that I didn't want to do that. Right. And then I went to a Van der Chubbock. Oh, my God. And Avat Chubbichabich is like the shit.

She's like the shit out there. She's the shit. Did you learn from her? Yes, yes. What's the biggest takeaway from her class? She makes everything about sex. But this is what she does to women. She doesn't make it, I take that back.

No. She just, it's about, am I right? It's had a lot, because I sat in on it. When you fucking watch, the mayor of Eton Town. Who was in that movie? The mayor, the female, the chick from Leo's wife in the fucking boat, the Titanic. Oh, oh, God, she's amazing. That's, um, when you read.

Kate, uh. Like that bitch had a, There's no barrier. She'll show you her pussy. She doesn't care how she looks. She's not, you know what my acting teacher used to say, this is going to say what she is.

My acting teacher Charlie who died used to say, stop being a mirror. Not to me. If you were on stage and you were worried about your looks and what you were wearing, to say, stop being a fucking mirror actress. She's anything but that. She doesn't give a shit.

She'll come out. No makeup, raw. She didn't care what she looked like. She just was in the Titanic. I got him all coaked up one night. I'm sitting there and I put HBO on. And all of a sudden it's her with a pussy out with Harvey Cartel drawing her.

And I'm like, she just won a fucking tremendous Oscar. And she's on the late night. So one that I was thinking about that because I saw something else in the pussy was out. What? I googled her. Her pussy's been out like 18. What did you say?

Little monster? Something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. A movie. It's a movie. It's a movie. But fucking... Oh, with the person.

Pedophiles. Yes. It's crazy that she doesn't care. I read an article where the producers called him and said that she looked chubby and she goes, leave that in. That scene where she fucked the guy in that and her pussy was out. I mean, she's fucking nuts. That's what Ivana does to you.

Ivana takes you, takes a woman who's grown up in my house, let's say. Like if I had it, like my daughter, I'm very like, you know, this, this, that. I give her some rope, but she knows the bottom. line. I'm a Cuban old school dad. So I don't want to fucking hear it. Huh? You're strict? I'm 12. She's 12. She's going into Jaws of Life now with me. Yeah. Her mother had it so she's now, I mean, me and the mother have it, but now I got to look at it a little more. Now I got to watch her a little more. These are the ages where they need that dad. They break away from the mom a little bit and you either have to talk to them or turn your head. You got to talk to them and tell them

what's going on. You know what I'm saying? You're going to talk to them. So now you threw me the fuck off what I was going to say. No, you're talking about how you, Kate, you said Kate. So when you get a girl like that that moves to Hollywood and says, I'm never going to show my tithies, that's great. Until you walk into Avana's cat class. Avana's like Mitchie Shaw. When you tell them what you don't want to do, that's the first thing they make you do. I told Ivana one day, I don't like, like, Ivana. And 300 fucking pounds, you know, don't fucking put me in the scene to kiss a fucking girl. Next thing you know you kissed in a girl?

Like, I don't want to do it. Next to you know she gave me the role of Ernie, Ernest Borgne in that movie where he plays The Butcher and he falls in love with the pretty girl upstairs. Marty. Marty. That's the first scene I did. She made me kiss somebody. And dog, I had to go to the girl's house and rehearse it with her. I would tell her, no, I don't want to do it.

Could I ask you something? Go ahead. You're so outspoken. You're so... I'm not going to say the word. The P this, the P that, the F this, F that. Try to get you to do like a little thing where you're kissing somebody. What do you shrivel up like a prong?

Yep. Why? That's why I'm not big on. So then I'm going to tell you what that's about, the psychology. It's all the front. I'm a prude motherfucker. No, you're, that's all a front. Listen, no, no, no, because I know for a fact, listen, I'm 62, I'll tell you the truth, okay?

Yeah, God. I love strip clubs, and I'm a Cuban old school cokehead. I had a fight off in my cheese mall all those years. But I got nothing wrong with Catherine Narducci coming up to you at a bar. I'm going, Kathy, why are you talking to Lee? I got an eight ball of Coke and I'm going to suck your fucking uterus out okay? And I want you to go

you're right, let's get the fuck out of here. Is that how that would go? Now God no, but now God forbid Catherine Narducci said to me, hey I got an eight ball of Coke. Let's go back to my house. I have a few cocktails. Reverse it. I'm done. I run out of like a pussy. I've done it before and I'll do it again. And especially

it is the weirdest fucking thing. So when I go to a strip club, I don't mind me going to you if I'm coked up and drunk. I haven't done coke in 18 years. So that's out of my personality left. Yeah. So now it's even more. But then I felt bad for the girl.

I'm 300 pounds. Why would a pretty girl want to kiss me? That's forcing myself on her. Even for a fucking seeing a movie. When a girl has to kiss a man in a movie, the guy's at least a fucking eight. Okay? And she don't mind. He's an eight.

Okay. I was a four. I don't want to kiss a girl that's a fucking ten. That's 20 years younger to me or 10 years younger than me. Did I just say something? Go ahead. Do you love acting? You're an actor?

I love doing it. Are you an actor? I don't know. Oh, I like that honest answer. I don't know. It depends who I'm around. It depends who I'm with. It depends who I'm in a scene with.

It depends who I'm working with. I don't know. I don't know. I can't do voices. I can't do fucking accents. I can't dance. I can't jump up and down. So I don't really know.

I can look at your eyes, I could be sincere. I know all the, I know all the principles of what I want to do because I stole the principles of acting and used it in my stand-up. Hmm. So I was one of those dudes that understood acting. Yeah. Like I just told you about a movie I have no audition for. Yeah.

Okay. I got to go to New Mexico. They're paying scale. They want you to play Italian, Mexican. Right. What do they call the fox? That's not the point. That's not the point.

At the border? Right. A smuggler, whatever, right? But the point is this. The point is this, that it's a chance to act. Something's kicking in over there. Oh, yeah. He's all zonboed up.

He's all zonboed out. He's kicking in. It's his lucky night. So, you know, there was a time when I was already on top of that. Remember, I booked a bunch of movies from sending tapes in. I do my own auditions. I get films in pre-production and get the scripts from the agency. Do you feel in your heart?

Do you feel in your heart of hearts in your gut? The same way, if I said to you, Joey, are you a comedian? That I am. Are you a comedian? Fuck yeah. Are you a good comedian? Yes. Do you understand comedy?

Yes. Do you think you're a good comedian? There's better comedians, but I'm good. I can hold my own in a room. Let's just say that, okay? Okay. I could hold my own in a room. Okay.

I'm not the best comic. I'm not the best writer, but energy and art and enthusiasm always wins with me. Okay. It could be a minute joke, but the way I'm enthused about it, it becomes bigger. It's smoking mirrors. Do you think that you were born to be a comedian? Yes. Is there anything else you can do better than comedy?

Steel. Rob, plan, I love all that shit. Still today, you can steal better than you could be a comedian? No, no, no. That's not even in my world anymore. Okay, so... I couldn't be a burglar now. You know what I'm saying?

I couldn't walk on the ladder. I can't go in through a mirror. You know, I'm going through a TV. I go in through a fucking window. I'm going to be sore for four days. So stealing with survival, comedy is for survival too, because comedy, I mean, I'm not a comedian, but I'm an actor, and I understand the art form of any musician, a painter, a comedian, an actor.

It was survival until I realized the stakes. I'd say that to you. That comedy was survival. I didn't want anybody to get a touch of me. I had just gone through a divorce. I owed $250,000 between attorneys, Discover cards, visa cards, master cards, American Express card. I couldn't get a job because of a felony.

Who was going to become an acupuncturist? What was it going to do? I can't take the test. I can't get a license. So at that point in my life, I was always a big fan of comedy. I never thought I'd headline. I figured I'd do comedy and drive around the country until I fucking got old or old deed.

When I started this, it was just to disappear and to find out who the fuck I was. Let's take this in a car A moderate car It wasn't no Cadillac It wasn't no Maserati It was an 89 Nissan B-2-10

With a broken suspension And I just wanted to go out there And see what was out there But then the stakes got high And then I found out that Tim Allen had done time And other comedians had done time And Lenny Bruce had been arrested a few times

So I felt in a good company And then I read a Lenny Bruce book That he broke it down He lived at that hotel, the Chelsea, and he did heroin, and he fucked strippers, and he slept all day, and I'm like, I'm in. That's, what else do I want to do? So you identified with, you identified. Lenny Bruce would play in a jazz club,

being a comedian in a strip club at night, and then going back to a hotel with no responsibility, no rent. You know, you pay rent, but it's not a big house. You don't have to pay HOA to mow your lawn. It's just a fucking room, a woman, and a fucking, syringe and you're fucking and sucking and sucking and you're writing comedy what could be better than that but it didn't work out for me that way because I didn't want to do everyone and do comedy so but what that meant to me was that you were uh you didn't want to be part

of a society it was like joining hell's angels it was like so you were like a rebel joining the mafia you were a rebel I was a rebel because I had no choice because I couldn't get a job in the regular world and I'm one of those guys I'm not saying anything bad but as much of a douchebag as he is not I'm not saying this I'm saying from people's opinions people don't like Sammy the Bull Gravino but I got news for you Sammy the Bull Gravano nobody liked them and I understood why but that motherfucker could run a CEO he could be a CEO of any fucking company and there's a lot of those gangsters that could have been CEOs of any one of those companies.

I just repeated this here to Lee and these guys one day. I learned good things from bad people. Okay? No matter how bad they are, they have one good fucking trait. Maybe it's remembering something. Maybe it's mathematics. I mean, you know, what's the famous Jew?

Fucking Maya Lansky, you know. These guys were all, he was a mastermind. He dropped out of school, one, when he was six, and he was dyslectic and with a bum leg to boot you know, it doesn't matter what you're fucking well, I have an IQ or 180

but if you send money to Africans when they email you because your mother left you a will in Africa what good is that 180? What good is if you go 10 for 10 on Jeopardy? I don't give a fuck about that. It's what you translate into the street. It's like functional fitness.

When we're kids, we do curls and squats. I still do squats. but it's more for function now. I use bands and fucking, you know, pulleys and whatever the fuck. So it's the same thing. You adjust. My point is, I have no idea because I took the same pills as Lee. Well, here's my, here's my question is to you,

do you think you're a good comedian? Yes. And were you born to be a comedian? Yes. Well, you were more born? I'm going to tell you something about you. I was born to be a fucking attorney. I'm going to tell you something about you.

A Jew attorney. Could I tell you something about you? You still can't be. And break it down a little bit from what I think. I think that on top of the heart exterior and the cursing and the fucking motherfuckies and you savages and everything, I think that there's a guy. underneath that and behind that whole wall

who gets on a stage and gives this massive hard exterior. Like he's so brutal, he's so honest. And he's connecting to all these other hurt people who are hard and this macho kind of thing. But I think the connection with you is you also, on top of that hard exterior and that wall, I do believe that the real connection is not that.

I think that we see through that wall and see that there's a guy behind all that who is actually like this really good guy, this teddy bear who, you're on stage being a comedian and you're good at it. These are all your survival skills. And it's also you connect with these broken people in a way to your comedy. It's kind of like, what's the word I'm looking for when you do reverse psychology.

You're doing sort of a reverse psychology where you're like, come on, you motherfuckies, And you're like, you're using that, but you're connecting in a way where you grab them because they understand, we understand what you're doing. You're good at what you're doing. Like you're making a connection with these people with that heart exterior. This poor bastard.

This guy is having a meltdown behind the scenes. He's having a meltdown. No, you really are. You're like this guy. guy that really connects in a way that it's almost like a, it's sort of like a psychology thing that you do where you come up with the heart exterior, but you're also connecting with people and helping people in a way where, it's like, show me you're helping me without showing me, you're helping me through your comedy.

A good way of putting it. And to answer your question from before, yeah, I feel like an actor at times. But the last five or six years I haven't because an actor wants to get out there, whether they pay them a dollar or whether they pay them $10,000. So is a comedian. But the problem the last couple of years is the money has gotten so bad and they want you to do weird things that I've just said, you know what, I'll pass. Yeah. So that's why my hesitation,

I hesitate, that's why I hesitated, that's why I hesitated answering your question before. That's why I hesitated answering your question. Are you an actor? Yeah, because I got offered a play. I didn't want to do it. Why? It was in the heart of fucking July.

It was a weekend in New Jersey, which I don't know about you, I don't think people go to plays in New Jersey on the fucking weekends in July. Okay? And, but right away, I don't want you to sound like I was negative off the bat about it. The real reasoning was the time. I like my time at home.

I like my time with my daughter. I like being close to her. For the first seven years, I wasn't, I was always doing a podcast or doing something. And I was in her life, but not, and I saw the change when we moved here. Because women don't want to be loved. They want to feel secure. Yeah. She doesn't need to hang.

out with me. She comes down three times a night and go, Dad, are you okay? And then she'll take her water and get right back on the phone. But she comes down. And I could see that. So I like being around. Yeah. You know, like I like when she gets home from school. My parents went home when I got home from school. What a fucking horrible existence. In the old days, somebody was always home when you got home to school. That's called a latchkey here. That's called what? Latchkey kid. What's that? That's a kid who lets himself in. Yeah, I was one of those kids. You let you something.

And then nobody's home. I wanted to be a latchkey, but not now. Yeah. A little later. Yeah. A little later. You follow me? There's just so many things.

And when you do a play, you have to commit. That's a fucking commitment. You just can't wake up and go, well, I don't feel like doing it. That's like anything else in life. You committed to something. There's eight people waiting on you. Eight people waiting on you. And, like, again, I'm getting to an age where I wake up in the morning.

I may have to go to the Bronx to see you, but I smoke a joint. I changed my mind. Yeah. I'll go, that's it. I want to eat clams today. I don't feel like eating spaghetti. I'm one of those idiots. You won't go.

Well, you know what? I have a T-shirt that I had made, and it says, I'm not a planner. I'm a counselor. I cancel everything. I make plans, and I fucking canceled them. I'm a professional counselor. I'm lucky I'm here today.

I'm happy you're here. But I'm happy I'm here. I'm happy I'm here. I got to meet this whole great, Let me tell you, by the way, people, his behind the scenes crew is the best. The best. The conversations behind the scene should have been filmed. It should have been filmed.

You missed the gold, the gold. The gold was behind the scenes. Starting on the eighth. Who's Rudy? Rudy's. You like Rudy's. Yeah. You don't want nothing but Rudy's.

You want no frills in and out. No small talk. I want to eat, I want to be in and out. I told you. And you only want his chicken cutlets. Listen, listen. Your chicken cutlets are not. Oh, my God.

The best. Listen, in today's world, I want you to think where you came from and where you are today. All we have is a little bit of loyalty. But if we become these people that every time, oh my God, there's a new Niko open, it's great and something. I got to go to Niko. You know what? Who gave you?

Fucking food on the arm when you were broke that time. And that's what we've all forgotten. Everybody forgets it. Everybody wants, ha, ha, ha. We don't eat there. We eat the Angelinas in Staten Island. You don't know, run of water and all. Leave me the fuck alone.

We all grew up. We have one place. That's all you have. Keep it simple. This fucking jerk off goes to a pizza place. And all these saps run after him. Dave Portnoyneux, a skinny fucking Irish kid from Boston. They partner.

I've never seen a society of such suckers because the East Coast is made of great pizza. We don't, if there's so much good pizza now, that if you make bad pizza, you get ousted. So everybody has a different flair to it. Yeah.

So for you to tell me that you're going to drive two hours, you're going to slice a pizza or something like that, it just doesn't work for me. Yeah. You grew up eating a set. Well, you're not into the trends. No. And you're not into the guru.

and you're not into follow or a follower. Because this is what... Follow the follower. This is who got us to the dance. Now you want to be Johnny Bananas and be better. And that's what the problem with us is. Everybody forgets what got them to the fucking dance.

That got you to the dance for years. And okay, you may be bored. But you better go in there once a month and pay your fucking respects and keep your fucking mouth shut. To a pizza place? Whatever. Listen, I grew up in Rome a part-time.

See, you're not from that. world lead. I'm not. So you would never understand. She grew up in the Bronx. I go in Harlem. Where the fuck you grew up? And there was a thousand fucking places to eat pizza.

But there was one that your mother and father went to. And you went there every day. And you went in there after school. And Mr. Nicky, whatever. He gave you a slice. He gave you an Italian ice. Your whole life was in there until you went away to college.

And when you went to college, no matter where the fuck you went to college? Yeah. You kept saying, man, I can't wait to go home. to get a slice of that fucking pizza, okay? And you went back home and you got that pizza. Yeah. But now you moved to Asbury Park.

You know, I like the Sicilian with the whatever. Leave me the fuck alone. Leave me the fuck alone. I get it. But every time you come up, pay your fucking respects. Pay your fucking respects. We grew up in that fucking place. What the fuck is wrong with people?

So you feel like people are jumping shit? All the time. All the fucking time. All the time to the hottest restaurant to impress somebody. We went to the Lola's and, you know, you know, shut the fuck up. Yeah, I get. Shut the fuck up. I get what you're saying.

Shut the fuck. I just moved from L.A. Where there's no loyalty. 20 years I sat there, no loyalty, nobody. Oh, we went to, oh, neat. Bro, you're from fucking Jersey. Why are you eating that shit? Oh, because.

Because it was good? Oh, because. No, because this one said to The forces of B What is it? Let's tap into what the fuck you're doing You're not one of these fucking How many guns?

Why are you acting like them? For 30 years these are many guns Fucked you in the ass Now you want to be like them Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha Shut that you eat their lunch You fucking tell them Where they're gonna eat you motherfuckers

I'm not going there I don't care where you 11 people are going And that shit ends That shit ends You have to have something. You have to stand for something, man. And that shit pisses me to fuck off. Well, you know what it is?

And it's a simple thing. You're probably saying. Swipe left. Swipe. There's always something new. Swipe left. People at home right now going, what the fuck is wrong with him?

He's a grown man. You don't know what the fuck I'm coming from. Well, I'm coming from is you have to have something. Yeah. Just a little bit of fucking loyalty. Just a little bit. You want to die with just, you know,

in this fucking rotten world. And it's a loyalty, not to Twitter. Yeah. I'm loyal to Instagram. You know. You got to be loyal to something. We grew up in this place, man. The fuck is wrong with you.

Yeah, but it's the swipe left syndrome. Oh, my God. Because there's always something new. You're talking about social media. If you go on social media, there's always a influencer going to a new place where the lines around the corner and everybody's got to get in what they can't have.

If there's a line, they want it. If there's no line, it must not be that good. But think about this. You're making a good point because years ago, the best places like, say, Rios or say Patsy's pizza, when I was growing up, there wasn't any line. It was just a good place on the DL, but they did a great business. They had the loyal, you're talking about, neighborhood people supported them. And that was it. And that's all we needed.

We were happy. You went in, you got a good meal, you went home. no bells and whistles right now swipe left go on social media the next influencer who you like is telling you it's like it's like bing bing bing bing bing bing m it's like a pinball machine go here go there go there go there for the best donut go there for the best donut i found the best donut in new york city they're gluten-free these influencers are brainwashing everybody we can't have a moment of silence. And I understand?

We can't have a moment of silence. But you cannot brainwash Hutchin County people. We can't have a moment of silence. We were raised a little differently. You can't brainwash Bronx people. You can't brainwash old school Brooklyn people. That's the fucking problem. Okay.

When we're set on something because we were raised, listen, I'm just a stupid fucking felon spick. But let me tell you an interesting story while we're here, all of us. David Chase. wrote a beautiful show called The Sopranos, and he made you the wife of the guy who owned the partner, Artie Bucco. Artie Bucco. Do you remember on that show?

You had regulars that came in every week. Not six days a week, but they came in once a week. And they got the same stupid dish, maybe a different type of bottle of wine. How many times on the show that Tony Soprano or Christopher Montesante say, Artie, I know this menu back and forth. It doesn't matter. That's the restaurant.

I know the menu at Rudy's back and forth. I know the menu at Osteria back and forth. We know the menu at Falkin Las Blis's back and forth. You know the menu at the riverfront back and forth. You know the menu at Carmine's back and forth. I don't know. I don't know. You know, you just know.

You have something that you know it, and that's fine because that's home. But you know what I like what you're saying? You're really mostly, if you break it down, everything you're saying, just comes down to loyalty. That's home. Another episode, years later, he talked about it. He goes, Hardy, in my darkest nights, I was driving home.

There was a storm. And we came to you, and you let us in there. There was no power. And that's one of the best nights we had in our life, because we were home. People complained that they're depressed, but they ain't got a fucking home. And then they don't want to go home. Yeah. They always want to go somewhere else.

And always quit. Just you're here. Enjoy it. your fucking mouth and eat the fucking food. Don't drop any fucking Italian names on me, so help me God, I'll eat you with this bottle of vinegar right to the fucking skull. Don't mention who's better. I don't want to hear it because right now at this moment?

That's right. It's like the homeless guy you said today. There ain't no better place than where we're at. So shut your fucking pie hole with that shit. And that's the problem you have. Yeah. Well, it's an overload. It's overloaded.

It's an old. I'm telling you, it's the swipe. syndrome. I'm just using that as the metaphor to what I'm talking about. It's like there's always something better. The grass is always greener. Oh, you like that place? But no, try this place. But now don't we try that place. That pasta, no, now you got to go here. Now you got to go there. And they'll show you the line around the corner because this is with this person, this influencer, is saying is good. But you're talking about like, for that moment, we give that place to love, That's the place, that's a place, that's a place.

The next influencer goes, no, not that place. I found a better place while you're eating. You're saying, shut up, enjoy this place now. What do you mean? We got to go to another place now. We just got here. It never ends. It's a swipe left syndrome.

It's never ends. It's the ADD. Swipe left syndrome. You know, I live in Central New Jersey since I've been there. I like two restaurants. both of them are on like weird now they've opened up all these restaurants but last December or December before that

they opened up a Mexican restaurant that people were having car accidents pulling into it was insane parking lot they had cars on top of cars they had to use the parking lot to the fucking other businesses at night I never stepped in there

I won't go to those places when if they're hopping like that in the beginning they're all saps because they go in there under the ether. They're under the ether. Yeah. They go in there, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. We're all great. Let's take a picture, and they pick up that margarita, not knowing it's $22. That-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. And they're just pumping the ether like Vegas. And now your girls come. And more. Now nachos and chips. Everything

sucks. But you were drunk. You were drunk. You were drunk. You drop 300. Now you get home after fucking and sucking, and you correlate the fucking and sucking with the Mexican bar and the Mexican drinking you went to do the night before. Trust me, the mind works so fucking weird.

So you can't wait to go in there again. Then you go in there one night without your girlfriend when you're sober and see if it, da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Everything sucks dick, okay? There's no da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. So that's ether.

I get the ether. Now you get the ether? I get it. They suck you right in. They suck you right to fuck in. It's almost like you're under the influence. And right away, yeah, you're under the influence. You're under the influence.

And you don't even know. And then you're going there one day when you're sober because you left your phone the night before. And you walk in there and the waiter's picking his nuts. You know what I'm saying? Eating this fucking boogie straight from his nose. That was a great time. Boy, I felt great now eating that brisket with the same waiter. You know, you're right.

It's like you go back in and the lights are on and it's just a room with some chairs. That's it. and a chef and some food. It's not the magical place that we're making it out to be. It is. Right? There's an article, either an article or a book coming out. I read this the other than that again.

I do not know if this is true. I do not know if this is true. Don't quote me. You know, you know how life is. Yeah. Oh, my God. Eight women have gotten together. Eight women have got together.

And what did they do? You ready? Eight women who've gotten together from the metropolitan New York scene. And they're ready to file a big time lawsuit against the owners of Studio 54 because they got raped there in the 70s. Get the fuck out of here. Again, they went down there. That da-da-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-a. Kuelu, Kuelu, Kuelu.

Kuailu, Mick Jagger walked in, they sucked his dick, and they remembered it during the pandemic, like everybody else did. Remember during the pandemic? Everybody remembered who raped them. During the pandemic, they shot eat their hair. Everybody remembered who held their mouth 20 years ago at a fraternity party, who grabbed your pussy when you salute the soldiers, you know. Everybody remember. I read the Sierra Day, and it was very interesting. It was very interesting that a woman who weighed 50 fucking years.

50 years, eight of them. What happened in the Studio 54? They say they got raped and sexual. You know, everybody said it was a party. It wasn't for us. It was a night of hell. Steve Lubel took us in the room and whipped us and made a snort coke off his dick.

It was horrible. You know, that type of shit. Okay, so for the 2,000 people who went there and said it was the best night of their lives and they did coke, I mean, Ben Crosby was in there, Paul Costalano was in there, Frank Sinatra was in there, okay? But now these eight women say that in 1978 or 77 or 73 that this happened. You know, and it just, it's like Jesus Christ, what the fuck? what the fuck I don't even know I brought this up now fuck it we were already high we might as well bring up some more shit to confuse the fuck out of it that pill is kicking in oh it's kicked in a while

this poor bastard me I'm still I go for two more two more what two more these motherfuckers why be why not it's Monday night it's Labor Day weekend you ain't got dick I ain't got dick going on it's Labor Day weekend that's it this Friday Saturday Sunday Monday it's over summer's over

It's over Wow, that's scary You can't wear white no more Shit That's it You gotta put out The dark talking I want to see you do stand-up right now

No leave me alone Please leave him alone Don't bother Leave me alone Leave him right there To sit there He'll be fun Once he gets some pizza

Let's get some pizza Let's get one line No Leave him alone Let him get some food Then he'll do stand up It'll jump up and down for you Look at his eyes

They're like Yeah It was a Jewish Close Those are Jewish eyes When My Ducci Did you have a good time

Shooting out all nights I had a great I really did have a great time I like being away I like I like being out of my environment And on location And not around the familiarity

You know I like shooting in New York Because I love New York I'm a born and raised New Yorker On the island of Manhattan, not the Bronx, but I do like the Bronx, but I am born and raised in Manhattan. I like shooting there, but I like getting a way to shoot films. I like being away on location because then you're not around familiar faces and places, and I feel like when I, when I'm

at that point, my imagination is on a much higher level. Anyway, imagination, let me ask you something. Go ahead. You ever walk into one of these hotels? You go to your room, you put your shit on the bed, and you go, how the fuck did I get here? When you're working? Yeah, like, when I check into the hotel and they're like,

hi, Mr. Diaz, welcome. We have a basket for you. And you're like, these motherfuckers don't know 10 years. I was robbing these baskets. You know what I'm saying? They're like, we got a basket for you. Welcome. The movie welcomes you.

And then you go to your room and you sit down. It's a nice room. You got buckets and sodas. But I got to tell you, those are my proud moments. I understand. But you ever sit things off. I go, shit, man. I earn my frigging way.

This little shit cockroach from Harlem earned her way to not a hotel room. I could get myself a hotel room. You understand what I'm saying to you in this position. But those moments that I'm answering you how I feel about that are surreal for me and proud moments for me. Because I'm like, boy, you know, my ex, Joe Maruzzo, he's an actor too. He said to me, Kat, every now and then, every night my therapist told me, when you're feeling really bad about yourself at night when you're alone and you're about to get in bed, you give yourself a pat on your own pat, like literally you go like this.

You did good today, kid. You do good today, Kat. You give yourself a pat. You tell yourself you did good. When I walk into a hotel room on location and I go, it's not about, oh, I'm in a hotel room. It could be a shit hole hotel room and I could be doing an independent film for $100 a day in Massachusetts. But I still have the same feeling I have as if I walked into a hotel on a studio film in Hawaii that you're You believed in yourself enough, and you did the work to get here.

And you're here, and you did something good. That's something good. That's the one time I give myself credit and go, don't be hard on yourself. You did something good. Give yourself the pat on the back at the end of the night and say, you did good, cat. You did good kid. And I do. I go like, that to myself.

And I always took that to heart with Joe Tome. And when I check into the hotel, wherever it may be, for a job specifically, it's better feeling than when I'm on a vacation with family of friends because I earned that and I work so hard for that. Thank you. Now you know why I don't like fucking vacations. I don't like we were talking about that. That's a different story.

But I earned it. You earned it. I earned that fucking room. I earned this place. I earned my place here. I earned welcome Ms. Narducci. We have a room for you. Thank you.

I earned that. It didn't come overnight. I earned that, you know, from my fucking poor beginnings to where I am now. You did good, Kat. Today you're doing good. Tomorrow you might not be. When the movie's over, you could be out of work again. Right now, you're checking in to do another movie you earned.

You got anything coming up? Have you been working with me? Right now I just have the series that I wrote and I'm hoping to get it done as a movie, which I was just told by somebody that I love and respect that you all know, but I can't say saying that I, because I wrote eight episodes of a series of my life and the person read it and said it's going to be a movie.

So I'm going to be like trying to get that made right now. And hopefully Godfather Hallam's coming back for season five. No. They destroy it already. No, no. Come on. Give Chris Boncato another chance. I love Chris and I love that show.

I love that fucking show. You just weren't crazy about season five. There's like three of us that really liked that show. And we've all looked at each other and said, what the fuck was that? It reminded me, you know what it was reminiscent of? Yeah. Miami Vice.

Last season of Miami Vice, they were chasing a guy that had Martians. They were doing that. Remember that the guy became somebody else. Don Johnson had fucking whatever. He forgot who he was, so he became a renegade drug dealer. You're like, what the fuck happened? Frank Zappa? What happened?

And that's what happened. What happened was with that show, the crime. cocaine, but with other shows, you know this happens. The show is great the first season, then one motherfucker decides to leave to one of the writers, and then the second show is the second season is strong, and the third season is stronger because now they're bonding, but usually the fourth and fifth season, now people start using those two years to get bigger and better jobs. Yeah.

And now you've got to bring people in, plus the executive producers move on to other projects, like Chris did. Chris moved on to that fucking heartbreak hotel with those dudes. That wasn't that good. You know, I never saw that yet. I tried. I tried one, two episodes. Great cast, but just, it was over done already.

Was it? Yeah, somebody already did that. And they shot him to the point. And it was, you know, Heselda. When they released Giselda, they talked about that place. So then he came back into... You mean Grizelda Blanco? Yes.

He didn't do Grizelda Blanco, what I'm... Well, maybe he did. No, no, no. That was Captain Zeta Jones, right? No, that was fucking the Spanish girl. She's dating the quarterback from New England. Oh. What's her name?

Sophia Vergara played that girl. But the point is that he had... Oh, yeah, I'm sorry, yeah. Once they move on to other shows, because... And it happened a ton of shows. Show on ABC, David A. Kelly got really hot for a while. Michelle Pfeiffer's husband, I think he is. Oh, yeah.

He fucking... They built a studio around that motherfucker in Orange County. They built a four studio fucking, because the guy had so many projects, David R. Kelly. I think he had, like, the one about the two Italian. He had a ton of series on ABC. And, you know, after a while, you start moving from show to show. You bring your best people.

And those shows suffer. And that's what happened to Godfather home. And it broke my fuck. I mean, the four episodes was about Bumpy Johnson. Then Bumpy Johnson disappeared. and then you got fucking hit by a car and then it was like what the fuck is going on here right so but I still love you

I have a question that has nothing to do with the godfather Harlem are you seriously going to call with me to Empire Casino yeah I'd love to go up there one day we need to go to Empire Casino is that now how the fuck they just told me that's in Yonkis gambling got shot down in New York that that shit I was talking about is done JZ is bringing a casino to Manhattan 42nd Street. Yeah, to 40 seconds.

It got shot down? Somebody told me that it works in the city that he thinks it got shut down. I don't think so. No, I've heard of it. That's still alive. I've heard of it there and I've heard of it on Coney Island.

Coney Island, a casino? There's a lot of people talking about putting it up there, yeah. The one I heard about was by Hudson Yards. That's the one. They're going to have a fucking place as big as the garden, a casino. What do you really think that would do to New York City?

Cripple it. I don't think it would be good. Do you see what's going on in Vegas? No. I spoke to our dear friend today. He said he got to the airport yesterday, and he could count how many people were in the airport in two hands. Vegas on a Sunday, all the hookers are flying out, strippers,

fucking everybody's flying in for the weak conventions. Yeah. And what it is, they just, that's it, that's it. People just... They don't have the money right now. They don't have the money. So Vegas is suffering? Oh.

Go on the internet tonight when you go home. Bad. Down like 70%. Oh, 70? Oh, my God. They're lying. They're putting fake numbers. And they're still not, they're still charging the fucking resort fees and the whole fucking thing.

Not an Empire Casino and Yonkers. No, no, no, no. I get on the four train. And I get there on the four train. I get off in Yonkers. Last stop. And I love it. What kind of people in there?

Top notch. Beautiful real people. Beautiful real people. They graduated from OTB. That will go to Ootis. Which restaurant, Rudy's. No, they won't. They'll all go to Rudy's.

What does I say to you? So it's like OTB? It's definitely a rough crowd. There was nothing. There was nothing like playing hooky and taking the bus to Fort Lee and going to OTB in the city on 181st Street in Port Authority. What kid is? is cutting school and going to OTB.

You? Oh, shit. And we used to cut school to go to the thing in Connecticut. Highline, too. One of the football coaches. We'd have to drive him up to Connecticut and he'd give us 25 bucks. Sy Lawrence, heavy sigh.

Wow. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But I loved all that. My mother took me to like, my mother was a gambling degenerate. So she took me to Yonkers. That was, listen,

when you go to Yonkers raceway at night, you got problems. That's where the casino is. Yeah, you got problems. The Trotters are right there. You go into daytime. I go in the day and I leave. I went the other day, 2 o'clock I got on the 4 train.

I'm sorry, 1 o'clock. I walked into the casino like 2 o'clock. I left the casino 11.30 at night. But I take an Uber home. I take an Uber back to the city. Is it still a lot? That many hours and I lost track of time. I think I'm coming out.

It's 4 o'clock. I'm like, what? 12 o'clock at night. I lost my mind. And they have blackjack and stuff there? They have the virtual blackjack. You know, it's a big screen with this like virtual pretty girl, you know.

I do slots. Me too. I'm a slot, dude. I love it. $20 and let it roll. I love it. Then you got to go back to the ATM. We got to go. They take a 20.

No, I... The ATMs are all around the casino. They're right there. They charge 80s. $18, and then you get home and you bought a fucking property in Russia. Get the fuck out of it. I don't use an ATM anywhere, but fucking where I go back. Because next thing you know, you bought a boat in Puerto Rico.

That's fucking Yonkers dog. They got that shit wired. Yeah. And when they take your number and one day they just make a sweep. Yeah. And you bought a fucking plane, you know, and you don't need that in your life. I love Yonkers Casino. Oh, my God.

What's a lot do you like? What? What's a lot do you like? I like this one, it's called, um, it's called, um, uh, what is it, what is it, my in chiefs. Oh, okay. It's a my in chief. And I like this other one slay, uh, dragon slay.

And then one other is, uh, it's called like, my nickname is kitty. Okay. Some people call me kitty. And I like the kitty cat. It's like a cat that comes, if you hit it, the cat comes out, meow, meow, meo, it goes around. and drops the money. Dude, there's people... It drops the money.

It's like a whole fucking movie I'm watching. It drops the money. It waves to you. And I'm like, Kitty, I love it. There's people who, like, live stream themselves playing slots at casinos.

I would pay to watch you play this. Like, because I, do you, like, smack the screen? Oh, I punch it. Yeah. Oh, I knew it. Yeah.

I shake it. Yeah. I love it. I love people. And, like, how do you pick a machine? I love gambling. How many of those pills did you take? Not enough.

Not enough. Trust me. He needs two more like me. Want to go to casino right now? Yeah, take them. Take them. He got nothing going on tomorrow. He'll be fine.

I got to tell you, the ferry coming here was unbelievable. You know, it's crazy. You say you're bored. What could we do? You either go out to eat, you go to a movie. I go to galleries because I'm an artist and I like to look at art. That's always good for me. It may not be a good ferry, but I like that.

We go to a movie. But then you think about the other things that you don't do. Taking the ferry here, now that's just that ferry New York to wee hawking, right? Right. Okay. But you can just get on the ferry. There's like $10 ferries that go around the city. That's such a nice thing to do.

on a beautiful day. It was, it cleared my head. From here to the city, what was it, 15 minutes? Eat one of those edibles and get on the fire. You don't really clear your fucking air. Yeah. You think you're going to get out there. I'd rather have a little, I call, what do they call them,

a little baseball bat? You know, the pre-roll. Yeah, the pre-roll. I like a nice little pre-roll. All right. But I like, I don't like, I like, I like, I like, I like, uh, indica. There should be something in the draw for you. I don't like, uh, sit there.

When you get back. No, we'll take an Uber on the way. Because I'm already hyper. Sativa makes me more hyper. I like indica. I can tell you, already hyper. I'm hyper in this bitch. Catherine, I'm happy that you came over tonight.

That was great. Me too. We had a good time. You look beautiful as usual. Thank you. You're still a fucking savage. I congratulate you. Thank you.

On everything, especially Alto Nights. I really liked it. He gives all his money to the Bhutan's. Ask him. And Lee, what's going on with you this week? August 30th, I'm at the barbershop, DV barbershop and Hoboken again for two shows. Oh shit, look at you.

And we'll be at, I'll be at the open mic Wednesday. Thursday, we got the bucket, and tickets go on sale tomorrow for Parks Casino the night before Thanksgiving. Oh, shit. That's always a good fucking night. Oh, that's the best night. That's the best night ever.

Different lineup, different crew. Come on down. You can gamble, man. Wait, where? Could I gamble in? N.C.U. Parsh Casino in Philadelphia. Where? And Benthelza. Is it a good casino?

Bethesdom, whatever the fuck it is. I don't know. Yeah, we just did this last week. Oh, shit. He's got the Tesla, so be careful. He's got the computer in the front seat and the shit. Does it drive by itself? Anyway, I love you, Catherine. Lee, I love you.

And tickets also went on sale for November 8th in D.C., I think, and December 5th. Virginia. I don't know. I don't even have a web page. We're in Maryland and Virginia. One in November, one in December. Yeah. And then, but we're in Florida next week.

And that's all that matters. September 6th, Hard Rock Live. Friday night, it's Casey and the Sunshine Band. You know what I'm saying? Do a little dance. Take a little love. Get down tonight. Bring the fucking Kualooch.

Bring whatever you got glue. I don't give a fuck. It's Casey. He's only got two songs. You'll be jumping up down for an hour. What's the other one? Because I'm your boogeyman.

Oh, yeah, boogeyman. So he'll do like a trio. Boogieman, something else. I go do a, this is a new song. Listen, Casey, don't play no new songs. All right. Coke ain't even the same anymore. You got one song.

Just stick to it for an hour. Do a little dance. Make a little love. Let's down the night. Come on. Keep going. Keep going, Casey. That's it.

I love you, motherfuckers. Have a great week. Stay black and God bless you and your families, cock suckers.