Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Comedy is a journey

Episode Date: July 23, 2024

Joey Diaz talks with Lee Syatt about the first time he saw Doug Stanhope's car, why The Wire is one of the most underrated television shows and why it gives his flashbacks to his days as a criminal, and Lee's surprise first full headlining weekend at a club this past weekend. Support the show and try Blue Chew for free. Just pay $5 shipping. Head to https://www.bluechew.com and press in promo code JOEY Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code JOEY. New customers get $150 in bonus bets when you bet just 5 bucks. The Mind Of Joey Diaz is on PATREON: http://bit.ly/TheMindOfJoeyDiaz

Um, and we can talk more about if you wanted to but um, I fucking birthday my friend. How old are you? How old is that? I'm fucking old 36 me. I think I'm like 23 when I met you something like that 22 But you're still young brother. That's good. Congratulations. You had a great weekend Oh best weekend of my of my comedy career spoken about about two months ago where one weekend the headliner might get sick and you get the nod and You either eat four bags of dicks or you maintain it and go up then and you did so now good things are gonna happen I hope maybe nothing will happen, but at least you know, you're capable well, it was uh, so thank God for Microsoft because

Unfortunately Josh like he just didn't make it. And I didn't know if the shows were going to happen. And I was nervous, but like I have done it a few times now and I felt confident in the chunks. And I knew I only had to do 45, like an hour is a lot different than 45. So like the first show, I even to be honest with you, forgot like one of my best jokes. And sometimes I got off stage was like how did I forget that chunk? But every other show, like I actually like the crazy part

was Late Show Saturday was like the only like 30 ish people there. But it was like everyone even the manager like that was the best show. Like it was like, I was really impressed with like. Straightly, how much better the joke got from early show Friday to late show Saturday, like I I'm not just to be very clear with people watching. I'm not saying I'm a headliner. I'm not I'm working at it. I'm getting better at it. I'm nowhere near Joey's level, but like it was just cool.

Is that like even Josh fucked with me a little bit? He was happy then like Recommended me to the club owner, but he texted me He's like don't fuck it up, and I was like I said I like tried to be confident about it But yeah, I was worried about fucking it up. I got like it's a good club is Summit City Comedy Club Like it's exactly the club I wanna work. And everyone was so nice. I look at the schedule, you're perfect for that club. It was great. And the beauty of it is that sometimes in your career,

this is what you just learned. Because I say this to people constantly, they don't give a fuck. They just don't give a fuck. They just don't give a fuck. Because they don't look at themselves objectively to what's going on. You know, when you get that opportunity, it's like, I wanted to work for David Tribble since 1994. For nine months, I sent that dude everything under the sun fake tapes

Headshots, you know fake bios every time I got a club. I send them a new bio And one day he called me after nine fucking months and he's like dog. I got a cancellation tonight you're up and This is the club that you're gonna forget their report Is gonna base whether or not you work with me? Now I wasn't ready, you know a year earlier when I thought I was ready I would have a bag of dicks, right? But now since he rejected me for nine ten months it was When the time came boom, I passed I did a great job and I moved on to the next fucking level

Now if I would have done that at the second year Like after I won the contest with eight minutes if I would have called triple he would have gave me the same opportunity But I would have added bag of dicks and everything hurt like Everything that's because there's two other comics there and every comic loves to see a bomb. Okay everybody and I want to see a bomb that's hard like when the comic turns on the audience you guys suck You're off from the left, you know

Just say this you like that like you like when you're on a show and you see someone bomb but you see it every six months in comedy with somebody goes up there and just destroys themselves and you're like what happened dog I was at a show one time the show was bad enough it was a guy I'm not gonna mention his name he's a fucking hustler this guy and he used to book rooms in Houston. 150, 175 on a Tuesday night. I got 10 cents in my ATM card. You think you're the best?

I'm fucking taking that gig. This gig, there was a door where people walked in. Yeah, yeah. And that's where you walked in, and to boot, you were in front of a dart board. So all I needed was one of these fucking red necks to fucking throw a dart at my eye. So I'm sitting there, I do my time, I go to the side, it's a great show. Like me and somebody else went up and then this guy went up that

booked it. And he asked the guy something about drinking and driving. The guy goes, I just lost my daughter a month ago to a drunk driver Right there, I would have felt the pieces. I would have just moved on this other fuckers started asking the guy questions How did she die who was in the car with her? I thought we were gonna get killed in this bar You know, I've seen it Like it I bet oh, is that what you're saying? They went quiet for 30 fucking minutes Show ended these people

Just stared at us because of this fucking it Yeah, every once in a while that's gonna happen in those bar shows or in those You know, listen, I saw it a lot at the Comedy Store. I saw it all over the country Yeah, and I felt it. I'm not gonna store. I saw it all over the country. Yeah. And I felt it. I'm not gonna, what are you, I'm gonna sit here and tell you, I don't know what that bombing feels like.

That's why you appreciate it because when you see somebody else going through it, you're like, oh, I went through that a week and a half ago. Uh-oh, put a mask on and the guy next to you go, why, what's going on? Somebody threw a fucking apple at me. Something's about to fly. And then the comic turns on him and calls him pieces of shit.

And you know, I don't have to tell you. Oh, and like, you know, I would, I'd be anxious. I, in my head, I'm like, what if I do so bad at the first show they, they demote me to the future? Like, what if, like, you know, like, I don't know. They could do that, right? Like, what would happen if know, like, I don't know, they could do that, right? Like what would happen if I, like, thankfully, every show I was really happy with.

Listen, if I, Go ahead, I'm sorry. I'm just gonna say, like, if I had bombed, maybe they'd give me early Friday. If I bombed both Friday, would they make a change? Let's say you made your first show Friday and it was Iffy. You just need to headline itlining and then you come back Friday night You destroy you're good

Okay, if he the first show and then you get into an argument with the second show you drunk and you go back and forth Yeah, the next morning you're gonna call listen We're gonna move you to the fucking doorman tomorrow How do I know this because I had a friend in Denver an open mic friend, and he ended up going to Florida when I was in Seattle. And he was god awful. He never had a chance. You know, it just, it was just mental health there. And he signed up for the coconuts tour. This is like the fucking D room of comedy. Oh no.

At the time, no disrespect. I don't even know if they're open anymore. There was like eight of them. And the host had to seat people. Oh yeah. Okay, the host had to seat people. He got the job, the headline on Thursday. By Friday, dem modem to feature and By Saturday the modem to co-mc

He called me up. He's like, I don't know what I should do if I should fight with the guy I go listen just get in the con go. What would you fight about? He thought he I'm doing better. Well, he was Dave Chappelle at the time. Oh No, he was a young guy. That was good-looking at the time. Oh no. He was a young guy that was good looking. He had a good rap, but he was a moron in life. Like he was really college educated and finance and hooked up with an older woman and she was just taking care of him. She bought him a fucking Corvette, the whole thing. This was the only guy that ever pulled up an open mic and a Corvette. Yeah, of course. And I remember making a mistake with him. I got in the car with him before gigging Greeley

and he goes, listen, when I drive on these gigs, I don't listen to music. I listen to comebacks from hecklers. Sit there and it's him rehearsing. Hey, where'd you learn how to whisper in a helicopter? You know, shit like that. It really doesn't matter, but I saw- How long did that drive? Huh? How long was the drive to Greeley an hour and a half? And would he do the comebacks with a whole hour and a half?

No, he because everybody always heckled him like every time he's in a joke or a voice people go That's not the guy and he would get up there and argue. That's the night. He banged his head on the ceiling and he would get up there and argue. That's the night he banged his head on the ceiling. He comes up and he banged his head. It was a low ceiling in Greeley at this fucking bar. And then like two weeks later, he went to the fucking ComedyWorks with me and he ate a bag of dicks.

And as I walked off, he was punching this tape recorder. What's the matter? And he goes, this thing won't record the laughter. That's when I knew this guy guy all he needed was a straight jacket Like if I dialed 9-1-1, I knew somebody was gonna come get him. They were go. We finally got him call Crime Stoppers for reward He was out there. He was out there his promo Lee was the best you ever saw He was an open mic er, and he had a three-page booklet About himself. Yeah, so this was like the cover you opened it up you ever saw. He was an open mic'er and he had a three-page booklet.

About himself? Yeah, so this was like the cover. You opened it up and in here was like a CD and a VHS. In here was a bio and in here were all the characters he did with different headshots and shit. No, no, no, no. It's it's mental health time. He had like a phone number for his agent, but it was just his phone number Yeah, and he played the Chinese guy Shit it was and I hope I hope you think I'm kidding. I'm not kidding you man We all come from a dysfunctional comedy scene Denver at the time was There was a guy that would get out of jail and come to the open mic and get put back in jail There was another guy who smoked crack and stole jokes

and they finally banned them from the Denver scene. Yeah, the comedy- If you think about it, if you think about it, open mics are like, you could go and just watch it as reality TV. You would see people you see, because the only problem, the only reason you couldn't shoot an open mic show

is people would feel bad. There's the only reason you couldn't shoot open mic show is like people would feel bad Like we there's some stuff like you can't like no one would sign up to be shown on TV like that They sign it they won Tony dog Yeah, but they're at least good three minutes Fucking CBS on a Friday night to go up there and be outrageous This could be the sink here. You can either stay in Coles and keep shopping stocking shelves Or this could be this is it listen a girl did hot tour and she's everywhere now, right? Right. She's got a great publicity team around there

She's got a millionaire bro. She's got an Instagram that they did breaking down and they're doing a great job Who's ever doing it's doing a phenomenal job I don't follow. I just happened to catch it the other day and i'm like is this the hop to a girl? You know That's so crazy And like that's where social media has gotten but you're right Listen man, you know I always said when I I, I didn't,

listen, I'm not gonna lie to you. The best open mics I ever went to, Denver was a great open mic, but it was too uptight. There were a lot of pros in the show. You know? Okay. Seattle had a mixture and that was a trip. The first six motherfuckers were a trip. The guy who came up with the handcuff,

the guy who did impersonations of a door, you know, they're a trip. Those guys are on their own planet. You wave, you nod, you smile, and you keep walking. And if you do hug them, search them for weapons, you know, just in case. They have them. Fucking not. But the open mic where I really understood What open mics and what the allure was? Was Houston in the early 2000s late 90s Monday night at the last stop five hours of open mic So seven eight were like real open micers eight to ten were fucking David tell would stay

You know anybody was in the area would fly up to Houston. So if you did Austin or Dallas the week before, you went Monday night to Houston to flaunt your shit, Jack. You know, you're in costume. You got to go up there and represent. But after nine, it was a train wreck. Ten o'clock, it was a train wreck. And it would stay open till one or two. And it was interesting to watch. I sat there a few nights and said, let me watch this. And it was people with a dream. They were just happy to be there. They're being pros there,

and them coming up after the pros. It gives you confidence, but it takes away your confidence. But at the same time, it was like five minutes or seven minutes, and it was great to watch. I love it. You want to learn about comedy, yeah, you go see Dave Chappelle, you go see Shane Gillis, but you also go see an open mic on Tuesday nights in a neighborhood bar, and you're going

to learn more about time you're gonna respect Shane Gillis more and David Palmore, but at the same time you're gonna respect that guy on stage more and There's our great open mics to go to I give that one of the best open mics I went to was in Bakersfield, California Because I love like it's my favorite it sounds bad But in you know remote places where there's not a lot of other entertainment options those shows Oh, and even though those open mics people go to there's a fucking great open mic in Saratoga every Friday night that I go to after

the show show yeah, and like it's full and like Let's say take those you how much an audience matters ten dollar tickets. They're gonna go Oh, they don't have to work on Saturday morning You know, I told you one of the best dirty shows I went to was midnight in Buffalo at the funny bone up There was 11 o'clock show packed sold out every week before the headliner People like those ten bucks. You don't know what you're gonna bump into and that's the allure Yeah, I it's and then shows how important it is that they're there because even though shows If there's people there, you know, like it makes such a difference because open mics are usually very sad

there's like six comics looking at their phones and it's just I Don't know Well, I'll tell you what I do know a lot of comics to rewrite in Iraq right now because Biden's out all those political motherfuckers are rewriting jokes, black jokes, Kamala Harris jokes, you know. Whatever the fuck is going on there, I'm not happy. I'm not involved in that shit.

What up? Why not? You have talked about that on stage? Would you have talked about that on stage? No, I don't give a fuck because I'd be lying to the audience. It's not what I think about during the day Okay, I think about crazy shit. I don't think about you know Biden

I know is I got to get up every morning and give it a hundred percent for the last 80 fucking years And I'm 61 so I've been kicking it since the womb You know, so it didn't matter who was president. I suffered, I fucking was broke, I was poor, I went to prison. What do you think? I don't even know who was president when I went to prison. You think it was his fault and shit? Cause democratic fucking judge or whatever.

So to me, it doesn't even matter. After I got the felony, you know, like you don't have to vote no more. I was like, what? Not like I ever voted before. I gave my name to a few people and they did what they did with it. You know what I'm saying? I don't know what? Not like I ever voted before. I gave my name to a few people and they did what they did with it. I don't know what do they voted for

or what is right or wrong. That's their business. You come to me now and go, but you voted in 82. That wasn't me. I lived up there in North Bergen. They do the voting. I just fucking give the name and get a free sandwich or some shit.

Hysterical. It's the truth. Same get a free sandwich or some shit hysterical To truth To fucking truth What else? Why are you sitting there staring at me? You didn't even take edibles? What do you mean? I didn't take animals a thousand fucking milligrams of these new edibles nothing happens So I took another 300 or some different ones without taking a thousand milligrams why I'm fine It's I'm in training cocksucker for what you always a training because Hamas and the Jews been going out and nobody's talking about us

Oh shit's gonna escalate any day now, you know, it kills me How there's a war the Jews are fucking butchers and all of a sudden now nobody says nothing The chick is gonna be Nobody gives a fuck about Hamas Palestine yeah, Ukraine. They're over there fighting with one arm. They got one off Down to bullets and shit over there Yeah But nobody you do watch the news. They don't they don't talk about it at all anymore I don't watch a lot of news, but I'm just saying that you know I watched the news to see Jews bombing people

That's what I want to see that they brought food. They got they just took down the bridge. I know that They took down the US humanitarian bridge. They're like listen we we can't do this no more but now Harris everybody's on Kamala and I don't think she's even gonna run I think they're gonna throw fucking Billy go that you later on It's like like a nude picture of Kamala Harris, and then they're gonna fucking you know Trust me something's gonna happen here. It's a crazy motherfucking world Jack, and you're just a part of it Let's get this cocksnucker started

Greetings, it's Tuesday the 23rd. The check-in is brought to you by oh my god Blue chew listen when things get floppy below the belt you gotta turn to blue chew Blue chew is the only online service that sends ED medicine Straight to your door. no problems, no nothing. They got the same active ingredients as Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra. It's just going to cost a lot less. Everything is done online these days. So, and especially with BluChu, there's no awkward trip to the doctor, just meet with

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They didn't put you on this planet just to give up. I thought well Joey could do it. I can rule the world. That's what you gotta be thinking. Welcome back to church. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.

Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. birthday, cocklicker. Thank you, buddy. You're back. I know. Birthdays are always fun, unless you're blind. You can't see the cake, you can't see the candles.

Those poor blind people are like, what did I do? And this is like the one thing they have is podcasts. It's like, it's always for them. It's all audio. You're like. Well, I don't know. I don't know listen silly. I'm joking. I remember it's Tuesday the 23rd My political views do not reflect on me. I don't give a fuck So if you're gonna hold my political views against me, I don't know what to tell you. I don't give a fuck. I just

Report it as I see it. I'm not like these fucking people. We're here, who gives a fuck? Bumps, all right? 174, he's getting his dicks up. The other one's 80, he's retarded. And now you're gonna throw my Harris at me. I'm real excited. And I don't think anyone stands a chance against Trump. I'm not saying I like him or would vote for him,

but it's like, isn't it, it looks like, wasn't there a movie where like Chris Rock ran for president or something, but he was, they picked him to lose. Is it Poodie Tang? No, it was like head of state. That's what it was called. And they picked him and he was supposed to lose. Like it feels like she's just like defining someone who just to lose to him. Chris Rock wants to smoke crack. He wants to play football. I watch. Once he plays a mayor or something, I'm not in. He was an alderman or something. That was a good movie. I watched it recently. Good for you. I'm happy you had a good time. That was a good movie. It was a good movie. Hey man, I got to declare something on here. What happened? I'd never thought I'd fucking declare my life, but I finally I

Love the Sopranos on HBO. A lot of people love Breaking Bad and When the Sopranos was hot the wire was running on HBO And I had comedy, you know, I couldn't focus on 18 different shows back then It's like now you talk to people and they're on episode 11 season 8, you know, I don't have that type of time I'm not that trying to get better as a comedian. So I overlooked I watched a couple episodes of the wife Okay, and I overlooked it and when I moved here I Watched it and in four years that I've been here. I've watched the whole series three times. Oh It's a great series after this last time. I gotta declare

It's the best show I've ever watched in my life Why do you think it gets overlooked I Don't understand I don't think people watch it and see it for what it is. You got to watch that a few times They go from the ghetto with Michael B Jordan to the docks back to the ghetto back to the ghetto now. It's a political thing The way the characters grow. I think the best character I've ever seen on any television show is Omar he is just Fucking amazing. I love the cops.

Listen, this shows that are probably good, but I don't watch them because they got one character I just do not like. English guy trying to be black. Yeah, it's always something. But there's two shows I really watch right now. The Mayor of Kingstown. Okay, I haven't seen that one.

Very fucking good. And The Wire. I've really been impressed with The Wire. You know, the cat, like the actors, the characters, where they went. Like there's a fucking homeless guy, Bubbles. I was gonna say, he's one of the best characters of all time Omar you fall in love with the lesbian cop that goes to have the kid with the cop and then

She doesn't want to have a kid. She wants to be a lieutenant, you know, there's just so many stories in this one Four years or five years. It's fucking amazing. What's only three seasons, right? I don't know three or four maybe I don't know I just told them It's brilliant. It makes me when I watch it. It reminds me of so many Things in my life like how the one guy takes the other kid in and they live in a shitty apartment But they sell crack to make a living just that camaraderie shitty apartment, but they sell crack to make a living. Just that camaraderie, you know, selling nickel bags on the street,

that whole thing where you're hiding from the cops and the cops are trying to get you all day. I never had the ability to sell a nickel bag, but I was an interpreter. So I would fucking go down and interpret for the Cuban refugees, you know? There's just so many things that reminds me of who I was when I watched The Y. Let's figure it out.

I was a fucking thug, you know. So I didn't mind doing that shit. And then I took my show on the road. I took that fucking, you know, I went to San Francisco and mugged people. I went down to Aspen, you know. I wasn't just a fucking local headliner. I took my show on the road, Jack,

Yeah. You had a full on tour. Holy shit. Do you, so you connect like when you watch stuff like that, like you do like, feel like you felt like when you were doing. No, it just hits me. It just hits me differently. It's a struggle.

The Sopranos is guys that got money shooting people. You know, this is a struggle. The Sopranos is guys that got money shooting people. You know, this is a struggle. This shows a struggle of what a kid wakes up to in the ghetto every day. You know, you get mad because my mom didn't fucking heat up a French toast. These kids wake up to potato chips from the shelter the night before, you know, and it's just really interesting to watch It reminds you of a lot of things but hey One man's chicken is another man's fucking gumbo. You don't say I Get it, but I haven't watched I haven't saw it at first and it seemed like more like a miniseries like that's what I was Like I have why haven't I seen it?

But it's like shortened each season is like its own little Thing isn't it like the whole it some characters come over but that second season was like With the with the boats, right with the longshoremen. Yeah. Yeah, they still keep the investigation open But they're looking at the longshoremen and somewhere it meets then they go back to season one on season three and then that's the only prison and it's just You know the city has a thousand and one stories Every time I don't want to I don't mind a spoil anything because it's but there's a

Ending to the end of the first season that is jarring Yeah, and like that's part of like that ending of the first season that is jarring. Yeah. And like that's part of like that ending of that first season, if I remember correctly, is like one of the saddest things I've been through on TV. And like, I almost don't want to watch it. Or like I skipped like, like it's just. Like I said, it takes you to a different place in your heart, in your mind, you know, listen, Sons of Anarchy

had some great scenes in there. That was another one. Yeah, that's you know, was, you know, Jack's, you know, Tony Soprano and then you had Breaking Bad. But then, you know, last week, President Trump, President-elect Trump got shot. And the first name I seen was Omar, with the name of the podcast last week, if you're going to gonna strike the king you best not miss whatever Mm-hmm. That's something that he said and one of the fucking and it's just tremendous his scene in the courtroom That guy was a great fucking actor. He was brilliant and The thing that he hasn't been on TV in 20 years and he's dead and they made him a meme a meme

Whatever the fuck you call those things a maymay. I Don't know what that is. Oh meme a meme, you know Fuck these About fucking Omar with a shotgun saying, if you come at the king, you best not miss. Oh, okay, yeah, yeah, okay. That was 20 years ago, and the fact that he's dead and whatever,

fucking brilliant, man. Fucking brilliant. Enjoyed the show a lot, and I wanted to, you know, I talked about it on Rogan. He said that it was Anthony Bourdain's favorite show, and he hadn't watched it yet. It's that fucking good, man That's crazy. It's crazy. You revisit something and you find how good it is tonight I had a run in Aaron before the podcast and

Led Zeppelin the live album came up and whole lot of love came on and and it just took my breath away I had to kick it up to 56. My eardrums were fucking bleeding. And I'm like, this will never happen again. This is just so good. I love when I revisit something and I go, holy fuck. I forgot how good this was, you know? And did you even, like, when did that first come out?

What? The album you just listened to 75 76 Okay, so that's like 40 something years ago Were you like that emotional about the music back then or is it like more emotional now I Think I heard Led Zeppelin first like the album album, like two and then four. And then, you know, and then once I started getting into Led Zeppelin, somebody lent me the live out. And I always hated live music because it didn't sound like the out.

It drove me crazy back then, but I didn't know music. I didn't know art. I didn't know that it could go anywhere. And once you listen and I'll tell tell you what if there was a show That used to be called it was on W&EW on Sunday Sunday night the King biscuit flower Okay, it was just an old guy talking about music. In fact, I met him years later in in Hollywood In Studio City the guy used to go to Marie T He was the host of it or something. Yeah, he was old now and he said that he interviewed

Jimmy page the week they were in New York And I'll never forget Jimmy paid saying that on the second night of the shows to ever do five nights That Jimmy paid that everything but give the guitar head. So I never forgot that. And when I got an opportunity to listen to it, I listened to it with a little open, it wasn't me. I was like, it's too out there. Now I think it's one of the greatest albums ever made because it shows Zeppelin's versatility in 75. They only played, I don't know how many songs but each song was 40 minutes 30 minutes 20 minutes You're like what the fuck and they improvised

And I always love to improvise somewhere in the middle of stand-up because once you got them if you go out there Improvising is something different, but if you go out there fucking killing and then you switch it to improvising It's a great night for everybody So here's the only thing that I didn't I did okay Like trying to do something about Fort Wayne, but like the jokes I had before that were like should I do jokes before? the jokes about the city Jokes about the city. Yeah, like I try to always talk about the town a little bit I didn't know you want to talk about the town first when you go. Okay, so I am doing that and it goes Okay, sometimes but it's not as good as my jokes

No, no, no, no, but at least they know you're paying attention. It's great to be to this town. I Love Fort Wayne. I Love the black guy that stands in front of the gas station with the ukulele BAM You got it. You got it. That's it I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that. I'm not gonna say that Why is that Indian stand in front of a gas station all day with a fucking cigar BAM? It's weird. I never I never talk about being Jewish. I'm always a little bit worried

Why tell them what they know Tell them something you don't know right something I don't know about you and then if you want to visit the Jews and Hamas you can do whatever the fuck you want. I don't give a shit about that. I just it's a throw your nationality out if I'm Chinese and I go out there talking about being Chinese Right fucking surprise here. I Know you're fucking Chinese or one of those knees Japanese Korean you're one of those motherfuckers Filipino where you got a suntan That's that's why I like Filipinos because you know exactly what they are the Chinese with a little dark skin Everybody's happy and they got a Spanish last name. You know I'm saying so it's all great

No idea Yeah, a lot of Filipinos have Spanish last name, but What the pilot the Bombier pilot the bombardier but You don't think I have a what do you have a train track near I Remember being there. Oh, I got deer outside my window. I got a raccoon. His name is Rocky. Yeah, I got problems I got no trains around here. Okay, the way that's you That was not me. Okay, who knows who gives a fuck about a train? Why you gotta cut me off for a cocksucker? I'm sorry. I thought you were playing the harmonica. I didn't know what was going on over there. But yeah

You know you relate and listen people don't notice a lot and some people don't do it. Well No, you really have to put a weird twist on it and it's a 50-50 If you open it and it goes down whoo Lordy, so those are the chances you take so what happens if What happens if Our guys never gonna throw one punch Right you figure he's gonna do a one-two on you so he hits you with the jab and you might not see that or block it But then you get to block the second one

Before you crack a joke like that out you have you better have I wouldn't do it because I don't give a fuck But you better have an emergency joke if your skin is not thick yet Right. My skin stick I go up that crack to joke and if they look at me go, all right, it didn't work All right Fucking deal you people do everything perfect. I just got here now or go at least I tried I didn't get to the library because the black dude was out there giving away pencils There's no kind of you know and you just run with it, and you don't know where it takes you I've seen so you should eat a bag of dicks after 20 minutes if you're headlining

And you're dying at the 18th minute Take the girdle off motherfucker go Go for it bust his bust that ass Make them shift a little bit Make them shift in their chair a little bit How do you do that by fucking throwing heat at them lighting them on fire a little bit Well, are you blind? Why are you looking at me like the one? Whatever. I don't give a fuck anything from the norm That's why you enjoyed yourself

for the night with the 30 people. 30 people is a beautiful number because at the end of the day, the biggest audience and average you play for is 30 to 40 people. If you write the numbers down every night, right? You go to an open mic, there's 18 people. Right.

You open up the Josh's 180, big fucking difference. That number gonna go down and then you know, but you'll notice you're about 30 to 40 people a night That would be great in 30. I mean I have no I hope way if you come I just want people to know I do the podcast I feel like I actually Am a pretty good comedian. I really am working really hard brother I actually am a pretty good comedian. I really am working really hard brother Let me say three people from my patreon reached out Really one guy sent me a Facebook message that he went he drove three hours to see you. No, I was told me You know, you got people that are in your corner. That's awesome. I appreciate it. Oh and you're not there showing me a gold watch

You're not there flying on a private jet You're not there trying to be something you're not just trying to be a headliner and people know this Lee your honesty people know this You know and here's the gift you said you had a great it was so funny when you said it I was kind of high you told me that there was 30 people you had a great show like I say Yeah, you average your best. You know when I got to the store Don't 40 people was Thursday night Tuesday Wednesday were 28 14 by the time I got on I just need three people to go on to get paid to get a $15 check I would need three people to sit in the audience even if it was a comic I would drag them in

Those are the nights I learned the mostly I didn't learn the most by killing every night in the fucking theater Or killing every night in the comedy club. I was doing comedy in the early mid 2000s It wasn't like now. There was not a big boom on comedy that The comedy store was not popular. We were number three on the charts Of all of all the comedy clubs, wow, yeah people go to the improv first Then they go to sunset the laugh factory only people who are comedy enthusiasts in those days would come to the comedy store Laugh Factory only people who are comedy enthusiasts in those days would come to the comedy store But I still remember going to Houston and doing a show for 30 people and him saying

this is great and then a year later a buddy of mine went down there from the store and Thursday night he had a light audience. It was a basketball game or something and This kid got a standing ovation with like 38 people and he goes I've only seen you two guys do that I go now you see the magic of the Comedy Store In those days 20 people were fucking party. Oh, yeah, so 60 80 people Forget about it. I'm at the fourth wall with a ukulele. You know I'm saying right? Absolutely, and that's a cool thing about I was talking about with the openers and I wanted toulele you know what I'm saying right absolutely and that's a cool thing about i was talking about it with the openers and i wanted to like thank you because like i i was talking to the openers and i and i felt bad but you always like whenever anyone asks you

about oh how can i do this joke or how much time can i do you like you don't care about any of it i just did and like the openers like they talk like there's obviously a lot of cool comics out there but there's a lot of people who like I mean not mean to the openers but like restrict them or I tell them they can't do things and They got nothing else going on in their life and they got one fucking credit Yeah, going there usually a one credit or their one and a half credit to make a feature act One MC feel bad and all you got to do is give those guys a joint

Tell them do whatever fucking joke you want to do like yourself on fire and they'll look at you like you're a king Yeah, that was crazy. It was fun. I get to do it. What do you want me to say? Just say Joey Diaz? That's it. Really bro What do you want me to say just say Joey Diaz? That's it really bro And then they go up then they put their twist on it. Sometimes I get mad Sometimes I don't I know it's flattery and I know they got a sell But I just told you just to bring me up as Joey Diaz. I don't want you to get tongue-twisted with credits now when I was an MC I

used to get abused all the time we buy her for loser comics losers That would come up to me and go okay, and now these guys had no credits At the end of the day when you you sat him down and go bro. When were you on Seinfeld? Remember the episode with John Marrera. I was in the car was an extra you'd weren't on Seinfeld He said he just walked in and filmed one day That but that's how it is you pick up a credit as an extra So these guys would say that and then their times that

They would just write a fucking credit down and somebody would call them out after the show And I'd be there thanking people for coming to the show. I had nothing going on. But I would listen to their conversations. Do you have anything big going on? Yeah, yeah, Hollywood called. No, they didn't. No, they didn't. Why are you telling these poor people that in this fucking church gig?

You know, those old people that come up to you, you're very funny. Do you have anything going on in Hollywood? No, yeah, they got nothing going on Hollywood You know, they didn't they treat the other comics the club owner But I've heard of comics that won't go in the green room Why? Because they're too cool

They want to sit in the car with sunglasses on and wait five minutes before they go on stage and you got to bring their food out to the car I've never encountered them That's wild a level-headed comics because there's a lot of people that like fucking you know they got a manager's job This is the best job to live a hat So they hold on to it and pull rank like it's dead business at the end of the week. They don't realize Eventually, they're gonna get fired from fucking McDonald's At the end of the week, they don't realize eventually they're gonna get fired from fucking McDonald's You know, they take it too seriously. I always remember that was a fucking ex-felon

Always I always that was always in the back of my mind. No matter how I get I'm fucking prisoner of war You know, what am I gonna pull strings on this kid for? Now there's people you work with that are fucking outlandish And you want to pull them aside, but then you go that that's it's just one more show If I say something to him he's gonna get argumentative But this guy if he keeps doing what he's doing he'll get thrown out of three clubs Really For just being bad? For, for not being good.

When you're an MC at a feature, you're being watched and you're there to study. A lot of people confuse that with the party and shit. Now you're gonna go, Joey, but you're the biggest cohead in the world, correct? I Always waited till I got off stage Then the hijinks started and then I'd go at the bar and I fucking snorted and I met women, you know That's what being a comic is for

You didn't sign up to be a comic to be a fucking Christian That's what all these don't understand not everybody is Cut out to be a comedian Okay, that's why there's more doctors than count or whatever the fucking status But at the same time they look at a comic like to be a voice of reason none of us a voice of fucking reasons Hmm, you know we did in the beginning you wouldn't even talk to us The shame up with the women we bumped into you know, whatever so what the fuck you know, we're just comedians, man We just put our pants on one leg at a time You know, that's how I feel like speaking of that like

I'm sorry, buddy. We broke up for a second there. That's a feel about what god I'm here All right, um so like Towards the end when you were like headline before your wife obviously like would you like Obviously, like, would you like, hook up with women a lot on the road, or did you focus more on getting rest, or were you partying every night? My first thing was to get coke.

I was always the plant. Okay. To coke, and then whatever happened, happened. If I had to go home and snort coke by myself and jerk off, that was fine. If I had to fucking, you know, meet a victim and hug, tell me no, that's fine too. If you know, I didn't look at it that way. I wasn't sexual. I'm not a fucking heavy, good looking sexual icon.

You know what I'm saying? I'm not known for slinging dick or any of that stuff so I knew I wasn't always good at that So why make the situation worse you got a girl that wants to hook up with you hang out with your snark coke Leave it at that Maybe suck a titties tell her you love her call her back when you come back to town, you know, I don't know it When you see comics that are hooked on women that careers go somewhere else if you're doing comedy to get laid, it's gonna catch up to you and Comedy is not gonna be how you end up because you're gonna knock up two of those bitches

Okay, right that's not cool either But I met comics that took a lie. I can name three comics that you know that do comedy for women. And now you'll see why there'll be feature acts till they're 95. Got it. The club knows it. Everybody knows it. The waitress will come back and say, Joey Diaz has been here five minutes. He already hit on me. Wow. And these guys don't change. That's their... They got into comedy and realized how easy it was because they were good looking to get pussy, but those guys just They get too caught up in it and they disappear on their own. You'll hear from them four years later. They live in a You know in Vegas or something like that, you know, Michigan

And they hooked up with a girl and that's where they are now and whatever but they got two kids and What listen it's your life Lee on the road Obviously in today's capacity, if you sleep with women, they're going to dog you on the internet or whatever, because these guys turn on you like anything. But let's face what stand-up comedy is. What the fuck is it?

It's a bunch of children who haven't grown up yet. And then you put more children around them, women that haven't grown up yet and then you put more children around them women that haven't grown up yet with daddy issues or whatever the fuck they got and what do you think is gonna happen right you know good things I remember sitting with you one night outside my apartment we sat out there for like two hours just talking about my early beginning in comedy, what I had going on those first four years to a boulder. It was sickening.

When I think about it today, it makes me sick. Those first year and a half on the Tribble runs, they just disappoint me. The road, the people I met, the women I met, you didn't even have to work for it, pretty much. And you would meet them at the shows? Yeah, I still remember the girl coming up to me at the show, good looking and going, are you staying at the hotel tonight?

I'm like, yeah. She goes, do you have an extra bed I'd like to share with you? Yeah. A brother would walk her over to me, this is my sister, take care of her. I'm like, who would leave their fucking sister with me? I would have a brother walk her over to me, this is my sister, take care of her. Who would leave their fucking sister with me? But again, we smoked pot, they were hippie, they knew another girl who was going to bring

pot over. Listen, man, like I said, when you choose the path of comedy, it's a different world. And along the way, you make adjustments. And some of us have support throughout the way. Some of us have a girl we hook up with when we come home. That's not going to be enough support. When you have somebody in your corner, you start to see life for what it is.

And you'll see that there's struggles on the road. And you have to do your time, be nice to the wait staff, tip them, bring them gifts, go to your hotel room, order any food you want. Because once a girl says she's in your room, Lee, you can't, there's nothing you can do. If you're married or you have a girlfriend Anything ever happens and that girl says she was in your room. I can't say nothing to my wife My of course now. Yeah, listen, man. I got I was in comedy from 91 To 2000 before I met my wife that was nine years. I

Don't know the amount of women. I don't know the amount of drugs I did before I met her. I Had a steady girlfriend for four years out of those nine years. So for five years, I was single You know, so think about a lot happened some of it I'm happy about some and it was my life everywhere like I had the problems with John and my ex-wife I was shoplifting espresso machines Like I had the problems with John and my ex-wife. I was shoplifting espresso machines. I was fucking, you know, it was a nine year experience that I think I'll write another book

and just put those nine years before I got to LA. But once I met my wife, it was the weirdest thing because I had just dated a girl till about April. Not dated, it was just me and her were doing whatever we could. And then I just one day I said, I can't do this again. I'm home now. I've been on the road for two years. I got a great 45 minutes. It's time to take this. And I remember meeting my wife. And then I was always with Ralphie. That's where I was with. I was either one of those guys. I was over at Ralphie's,

over at my wife's house or at the comedy store. And then you got to remember, I moved in with my wife four months after I met her, pretty much. I Don't know what you know when people look at that. That's why people could do whatever the fuck they want I didn't I never wanted to break my wife's heart Because she was very sweet and very nice and at one point in the relationship some girl at the store Awaited said that she was there one night when I hooked up with a girl and my wife was like you're lying Because I was here that night. He went up with a girl, and my wife was like, you're lying, because I was here that night, and he went home with me. We went food shopping.

So it just, after I met Terry, it was like everything else, I couldn't do anything at the store, because she worked there. Right? I'm at the store, I didn't want him back. The worst thing for a woman is for another woman to come up to her and say hey This is what's going on and he did it right here

Right It wasn't worth it When she was offering me at the time I was 37. She was 30. I had everything I wanted with her so And over the years you bump into some freaks you know whatever but like I haven't been in the strip club in three years no when I first got here I was bored I would go to my buddy strip club then they got shut down and one day I go maybe I'll go back up and I'm like I don't even feel looking at naked women. There was a girl up there that scared me every time I went up there I can hear you because she wore combat boots and she put the heels together She was balls ass naked. She weighed like 80 pounds, but she had a lot of fucking

Muscle in those bones and she would clack the fucking heels together and it would always make me jump and I'm like, I don't I Can't focus. I can't focus I can't even say I would be watching the game That all types of girls in their Asians. There was everything bigger. They're there to watch the game. I Would go up there. I would bet a game like a basketball game 25 bucks and I would go up there and watch the last quarter. I Would talk to my buddy and I would look at some young pussy why not what am I interacting which was even better and I looked at guys I love seeing guys in the strip club oh yeah guys are the two cool and they don't want nothing we don't want nothing we're here to discuss business

and ten minutes later you see him going crazy once they get three drinks on you know, I love all that shit But the reason I like that club the most Was because there were Cuban girls There were a bunch of Cuban refugees and I go in there and I give the girl like a $10 fucking Singles and she talked to me for 20 minutes about Cuba and what was going on there. Believe it or not, believe it or not. In Spanish? Yeah, I would talk to her in Spanish. She was telling me that they would fly supplies

to Cuba every Friday by Teterboro Airport. And she could take me to Cuba, her family could take me to Cuba, they live in Miami. Dog, it was on. I was thinking some fucking great thoughts, but then I was like, man, I get caught in Cuba with no protection I go to jail for 30 years. Nobody could say shit. Who's gonna save me any how it Steve McQueen is dead. You know I'm saying

Jesus Christ, but real quick. We got a UFC this weekend. We got a great card. We're gonna take a breather I'm gonna talk to you about draft Kings and the options they got and how much fun this weekend is gonna be and then we'll come back to wrap this motherfucker I'll be back in 10 seconds Yo uncle Joe here. I want to talk to you about something. Listen, July is ending with a bang UFC 304 has not just one but two titles on the line We're talking about the welterweight and interim heavyweight title to round out the main card But it's a stack card of fights you could jump in on the action with draft King Sportsbook the official

sports betting partner of the UFC Speaking of stack if you knew the draft Kings listen up new customers bet five hours to get a $150 and bonus bets Instantly and here's the beauty Football season is around the corner. It's the 23rd Jack football starts September 8th, but Preseason and you know us with savages so download the draft Kings sports book app right now and pressing code Joey J O E Y that's code Joey for new customers to get 150 and bonus bets when you bet just five bucks only at draft King is where the crown is yours

all right, remember download the draft King sports book app and Use code Joey J O E Y and now back to the podcast to see Lee But download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and use code JOEY, J-O-E-Y. And now back to the podcast to see Lee pass out for a little while. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER. Or in West Virginia, visit 1-800-GAMBLER.NET. In New York, call 877-8HOPENY or text HOPENY467369.

In Connecticut, help is available for problem gambling. Call 888-789-77777 or visit ccpg.org. We're back bitches! restrictions apply see terms and responsible gaming resources at dkng.co slash MMA We're back bitches Don't forget big UFC card Baseball is big but I'm gonna tell you all you gotta do is bet Oshani or judge to hit a home run Every three games and you're a winner. You're gonna win 20 bucks a night You know, it's crazy. What's that? Oh Tony's crazy Oh last night when it was Boston three to nothing my buddy called me. He was like, yeah, I'm watching the game

It's pretty nothing. I go where they're playing. He goes that Lego. You know what? I don't trust Oh Tony He can hit you from anywhere and then it was three to two and I said, you know what? It's five runs I guarantee I should bet the over tonight and I didn't even look at it this morning I'm in the gym. There it is on the thing. They won like 13 to 6 or some shit It went over like a motherfucker. You know I'm saying and he's just like a crazy person and then Do you ever think if like that gambling thing was like he's just so good that he just paid his buddy

To like take up that's a yakuza anything could happen I could be wrong I've been wrong before You know, he's such a big attraction For the Dodgers now anything is possible. I hope that's not it I hope I'm wrong because I really like him as a baseball player. He's so good Yeah, you know video game. I know if I was him. He's a big motherfucker and he's young I'd have 18 Japanese women waiting for me every night in those fucking hotels. Yeah Doing karate the whole thing karate judo making sushi. I'm in Eat an ass with sushi in it you know

you ever done that no I know what do you think I eat ass of the sushi restaurant there's there was that restaurant close to the comedy store right and they were sushi restaurant for a while since I was in LA they have been everything I went to them when I signed with my first agent. He took me there for breakfast That place was everything a breakfast place an Indian place But anyway towards the end they made it a sushi place and one night a week they would eat the naked sushi off the naked lady They would have like an Asian one like a blonde

And you go down there. I Don't know if they'd let you dip the sushi in that wasabi ass, but I would try it You know I'm saying pull a little wasabi in a muffler and throw that little yin-yang sauce in there with that wasabi A little taste of the fucking pubic hair from the asshole It might be something different some people likeiar, some people like pubic hair. It's all whatever the fuck you think you like, Lee Cyan. I never went to one of those places. Choo-choo, could chew, you know what I'm saying?

But you, you'd rather go eat a conveyor belt with dirty fingers and God knows what on it. Me, I'll go eat some dirty fingers, but it's from some blonde's asshole that has fucking a piece of filly roll in there, some shit, you know what I'm trying to find this but it's from some blonde's asshole that has fucking a piece of filly roll in there, some shit, you know what I'm saying? Jesus, do you have cities where like, where the most fun?

Do I what? Do you like, do you remember like cities back then when you first started like, you started to do your first like shows where you were headlining? Yeah, I had a ton of great cities I went to. Like my first round of, what I would do is go to cities that I wanted to do something in. OK.

So the first city I really wanted to go to was Detroit, because it was the murder capital when I was younger. I wanted to go check it out. And I found love in Detroit. It was great. And then I ended up in a room in Baltimore. All right, for two weeks of the shot. That club is long gone.

And then those were my first two that stuck out. And then Tribble had some runs that obviously, you know, you go back a second time within like like six months, every town, I, I, I'll never forget one thing about my early years of comedy. One thing I was really pleased with was I really liked the traveling and where I was going. I wasn't going to places that people spoke about. Those are my favorite places.

And at the end of the day, those will always be your favorite places. All of the best. I don't know why. Because- I always said to you that some of the best Coke I got was in South Dakota. This was filled with Indians and white people.

I go to the one restaurant that has a Mexican cook. He comes out to mop the floor and I go, bro, you got a cousin where I get some shit from? Next thing you know I'm at his house eating Mexican food and his cousin's there weighing cocaine up for me in South Dakota in front of his sister, his wife, you know, I'm like, only I can bump into this. Now you're going Joey, it's a drug store. I used to go with Ava Knievel jumped. I would go there and eat lunch and watch where he jumped How do you meet these people? I would go to Cleveland and go to the Rock and Roll Museum. I went to all those places Just to go to those places where I wanted to go to and then I went to places that I didn't know anything about like Places in Montana that till this day. I'm and then I went to places that I didn't know anything about like places in Montana that

Till this day. I'm happy. I went there. I Love that shit The big cities you go there once or twice everything you do you're locked in with 20,000 other people you know when you go like Nebraska and And Colleen takes you for lunch and you go like a place that that's 22 people in there and eight of them know each other and People are saying good morning to each other and they give you a hearty meal with bread and salads and it cost you 18 bucks and you're like wow

This is fucking great. And then you say to yourself man, I could live here Then you stay there the second night. You see some of the more people in the town and you're like I Don't think I'll move here, but I'll keep coming to town There's a bunch of those places and I still remember saying to myself, you know you meet all these people that try to be debonair and they talk about Europe France and Spain and Montego Bay and they sound to be so cool. I think this is cooler. What I'm doing is a lot cooler. I'm meeting real people. Yeah, there's a lot of cool people, even like the people who work at the clubs. Being there

the whole weekend, you get to meet people and I just leave me That's as crazy as the world's getting there are stars like a lot of cool people out there It's I love small town mentality I go to those towns and They talked to you you have to calm them down like listen, I'm not that guy, you know Like this is before the Sopranos and shit. But people always come to me in those towns and go, were you in a Bob movie?

And I tell them the truth. I don't do no fucking movies. Oh, you belong in the movies and shit, you know. But they always want to know your story. And that was very nice. They don't care about money, they don't care about success and that's nice when you meet genuine people who want that from you. That's a weird feeling, man. Right. No matter where you are in your life, you're just a struggling comic and you know it

and these people are treating you with respect and you're like what the fuck is going on in the world but then you appreciate it years later. You appreciate it done and you appreciate it years later and it's fun like i i'm not really it's always cool to do a show with you and i love it but the like the people who are there love me just because of the podcast. They were already pretty happy for me. It was fun in Fort Wayne because people came out, definitely last minute, who came for the podcast and knew me. But most of the people were Josh fans who came because they had tickets already. And it was cool to just get people who had no idea who I was and thought I was funny

And that was great You know we should name this podcast comedy is a journey Because it really is and the beautiful thing about this journey of what you learn about yourself Along the way That's the best thing of everything is you learn about yourself And what you could tolerate and all of a sudden what was uh, What felt weird to do two years ago now you're doing it You know, it's amazing the first time I saw Doug Stanhope's car

Like in 96 I saw his car 97 no What the fuck am I saying like 93? I? Saw his car What does that mean? His car was just a road machine It was a car the front seat had a cooler. Okay. Back seat had a hanger stick in the back and there'd be shirts back there. The trunk had everything in it. Water bottles, extra oil, a basketball, a frisbee. He had everything in there. Everything was like a sedan. Well, uh Dan it was a two-door but the back seat had a stick in the back and

Had his clothes on there and then he slept in the back seat Holy shit, you had a pillow and he was smaller. You know, he was a smaller guy He was a tiny guy. So he would just put his feet up and sleep in the car. And when I saw that, I was like, Oh shit, I need to get prepared now for what I'm going to do my next journey. And I hunted down like an old Nissan and fixed it up and that car. And did the same thing I Copied from Stanhope the hanger in the back hang a suit back there a nice shirt everything that you might need Because you're gonna need it. You're gonna go to a comedy club when they're gonna late. Did you bring a suit and you're like no 90 degrees, you know, there's all those things so he had all those things already ready

That was mind-boggling to me in the back. He had spark plugs wrenches a jack a tire, you know Everything that he needed just in case something went wrong That's crazy he had and he just never went home. No. He was home. Most interesting thing was when he won San Francisco in 95, the night of the finals, somebody broke into his car and stole all his clothes. So he had to go to the fucking Goodwill and buy a suit,

like a green suit, and he went up there and won. And that's why he like wears the suits he wears now, it's like that suit. Yeah, he's a thrift store guy He always has been That's wild That's like and I love comedy, but I don't know if I could live in my like There's a lot of comics have a lot of respect for who do that Brother listen We've discussed this you're gonna do this I'm

doing it I'm just gonna be a night you're gonna call me and go there's no hotels oh yeah that's different a guy no there's nights you're gonna call me and go dog they want buck 80 for a hotel oh I needs a three hour nap oh yeah I'm definitely cheap I would do that for sure on the side behind the hotel take a three-hour nap wake up go to McDonald's It's open 24 hours get an egg McMuffin and always the coffee and be You're out and fucking running my friend. Oh, yeah, it's gonna be I like This puppets it is nerve-racking. I'm like I'm excited. It's nerve-racking. It tests your wills It really shows you like I dog you think when I met people and I was doing county for 15 years

At least for me 15 years. I had a movie Okay, by 2006 I was in spider-man 2 and fucking the longest yard So it wasn't a waste of a 15 years Got it What about those guys, you know, how do you think I felt at the 20 year mark? I had nothing going on for me Right at 20 years. No, it was starting to it took 20 years for the needle to start moving and I see all these young comics now trying to do like videos and interviews and race racial stuff like to identify

They're never gonna sell tickets that way. It's gonna introduce you to an audience But to really win over an audience you have to give them a piece of yourself and that's what's good in today's Comedy world that through podcast People get to see you You know and they get to hear your opinions and how you speak and ba ba ba So now people have an idea who they're going to see You know like watch 20 years ago people went to a show you probably have one YouTube tape on there right no they didn't have an idea unless you want a TV show and they went to see

that character see if you were boomer and a show on CBS And you did great on that show is boomer people gonna go watch you as boomer When you go up there and talk about you ate some black girls ass. They're gonna look at you and go with We've never heard this dialogue before I'm lucky you've only been a couple people mad so this this podcast let people see you Podcast let people see you YouTube lets people see you so now people know what they're going to see That's why when people get mad about an act now. I go that's bullshit

You had every opportunity you could even go on your phone and look at them in YouTube Everybody's got YouTube as the app Right, oh this is a fucking journey Lee This is what nobody seems to tell you when you first join. They don't add that word to it Yeah, sometimes people ask me like why do you do a show? here like like and it's I honestly think it's Like you have to do it. Like I wouldn't have been ready for the last weekend if I hadn't done

Like weird not weird shows, but shows in the middle nowhere One of the people on patreon I explained to them that I was not surprised that this is happening. Why? Because I'm only taking credit to helping you in one way and that's by bringing different comics in front of you. Oh yeah, I saw every comic. And you got to hear that story, especially somebody like Ralphie Meck,

who you identified with, you really enjoyed Ralphie. I love Ralphie. Oh, Bert, Tom, Ali Siddique is doing great now. He came on the podcast eight years ago and destroyed it. It's great to see, like look at the church and look at Andrew Schultz when he came on the church. Right. You're going to, you're going to fucking die when he was a baby when he came on.

When we had him on that, you know, and you were around these guys, right? You know, Jimmy Florentine's son is in camp this week, basketball camp. And I told him before he left, I go, listen, they're gonna throw a lot of information at you. It's a lot of information in five days. I don't care if you're 12 or you're 30, that's a lot of information.

But if you could take one thing From each experience one thing Lee hold the microphone with your left hand Lee you know because there's constant things I could tell you if you join the boxing class every time you come to class I'm gonna leave you're not picking up your left heel After a month, you'll pick up your left heel heel but now you're not bringing your hand back quick enough you're focusing on the heel he's gonna catch you with the jab or whatever I'm just making shit up here guys I don't know nothing about boxing but with stand-up it's it's you catch yourself you know you have to really be open and you took the best.

You took one quality from all those comics and that's brilliant. You didn't even know you would call me a week later and say, man, that's weird about this guy. He lived in a shoe box for a month. You know, it either made you hate the guy or like the guy. Right. Yeah. That character, that character, either the character flaw. I Either made you hate the guy I like the guy right yeah That character that character either the character flaw him laying it on the line for you made you love him You know we never did a podcast where we spoke from strength we spoke from our flaws

Right, you know everybody wants to hear your strength fuck your strength Tell me when you suck dick behind a Chinese restaurant for five hours a cock during happy hour, you know, whatever Right, and that's what we did. And that's why those comics grew on you. I was there route, you know, you know what it cites You know what makes you grow enthusiasm? Always makes you grow even when you bomb if you're enthusiastic about your set At least it comes over like you give a fuck Think about what those words. I just told you enthusiasm is everything But the biggest enthusiasm you get from comedy is from seeing somebody rise

more so than yourself is from seeing somebody rise, more so than yourself. When you went up to somebody after a show at a Mexican bar and go, dog, that was pretty funny. And they're like, yeah, you work out at the improv. Yeah, you're at the laugh factor. And all of a sudden you start meeting and all of a sudden you start going to his house.

And all of a sudden one day he gets a call, man, from NBC to do something. And a week later He's a household name But you were there before anything. You know I'm saying right eight out of six out of ten comics because the insecurities He's a fucking douchebag. You didn't put me on the show Where a guy like you would go bro, nothing but success for you if you need anything You need a joke whatever you need. I'm here and There's a lot of comics who can't do that from the heart

That's real growth when you see a friend of yours growing in front of you And then it's been a year and you're still fucking doing aunt paisley's underwear On wednesday night for the small 50 That'll inspire you and make you enthusiastic And bro enthusiasm in this business is what makes you grow if you come out and I could read how enthusiastic you are being here fuck I'm taking the ride with you I'm sucking your dick afterward I'm buying a t-shirt I'm taking a picture I'm gonna fix you up with my mom you know and I don't even I wouldn't don't even have any merch or anything like that yet, but

Talking about merch Lee. Oh, I know I'm being funny right now. We're not right merch or anything like that. We're just discussing the journey we're discussing How people need to slow up? You know people see all these kids on Netflix and shit. And then you start questioning yourself. When is my ship coming in? Your ship's coming in.

The same way it did for Lee when he was ready for it. Your ship's gonna come in today, fucking Microsoft. Sells your fucking stuff to the Chinese. Josh can't get there. You get the nod and you perform anxiety was right I flew in the night before cuz I was I can't I get some nervous flying in day of like it just anxiety was right it got me like my fucking chance that was awesome, anxiety paid off. The early bird gets the worm.

We always went in on Thursday nights, right? Checked in, got a nice dinner on Thursday, smoked a couple joints. Now you're there for Friday. Yeah, it makes me feel so much more comfortable. That $130 in the hotel cost you a whole day of aggravation. Yeah. Once you went to a great restaurant

and you dropped a hundred dollar tip, so that everybody knows you're in town. I love it. I do it all the time. I'm really proud of you for last week, brother. Thanks, buddy. Nobody gave you shit. You fought for every goddamn piece of it.

You sat in that office with flies on your neck and hummus and 2000 milligrams a night like a soldier. So what's going on right now should not surprise you. The respect Josh Wolf has for you should not surprise you. And the respect I have for you should not surprise you. It's you're on and ready for your fucking journey. You got your wings,cksucker. Well, I love you buddy. It's it's I'm excited. I don't know what's gonna happen You're gonna have a great time You're a free bird everything that you wanted came into place

And now it's your turn to fucking navigate this i'm too old. This is your game now I'm living vicariously through you. I'm your assistant to the assistant to the assistant manager. I'll see. I'm all the moves in New York for you. I am so excited to get there. I guess I guess can I say I guess yeah, by the end of the by the end of the year, I'll be in New York full time. It's gonna be I'm like, dude, this is like, even before comedy, since I was like six, New York has been a dream. Here I am drinking Coke Zero like a fucking morton. Like, I'm losing weight every fucking day.

Yeah, I love Coke Zero. Lee, it has been a pleasure to sit behind the scenes and watch you grow. It, it, It really is. It makes me want to cry. It makes me want to, but I know why you did it. And Lee, tell these men I didn't call a club for you. I didn't do nothing. I wasn't going to sign in, sign up to fucking make it

an easy path for you. I torched you for the first three years and make you do edibles. I put blindfolds on you. You still make me do edibles. I put blindfolds on you. You still make me do edibles before the show. What do you mean? I had Ralphie

torture you. I had Josh torture you. Oh yeah. Oh man. I had Eric torture you. I've thrown so many obstacles at you and uh listen, it's been a **** pleasure. So, the last last my last couple of years in LA now my memories change a lot because you were sitting there like an old Jew paying attention taking notes. And that's what a good old Jew attorney does. My brother having where you at this week.

You didn't tell me no. I didn't tell you yet. On Friday'm at the comedy scene in Foxboro and Saturday. I'm at McHugh's in New Hampshire All right, what time of your headline in both of them are you part of an ensemble? I'm featuring at the comedy scene and at McHugh's and then August 29th at 915 I'm doing a show in New York at Rodney's I'll have the link on my Instagram What's the date on that? It's August 29th. Okay, I'll be like. Thursday, 9.15.

You're right. I'm sorry? That's a Saturday night? I think that's, I thought it was a Thursday. Let me check. Fuck! I know it's the... I'll be out of town.

Before you? Yeah, it's a Thursday. The reason why I started this podcast late was my brother called me from Delaware asked me some dates and I was like god damn it now you're telling me all the dates I'm not gonna buy I'm happy I'm making it to the Gracie barbecue oh shit nice 24th I'm happy about that but I got nothing going on I'll just be here next Monday with you talking about fucking what we do best stand up right

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