Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Episode #5 - An Unexpected First for Joey

Episode Date: October 2, 2023

This week on The Check In Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt talk about blacking out after last week's podcast, what happened to a friend who questioned Joey on the strength of ABX, and Joey's recent trip back to North Bergen.  This podcast is brought to you by: Support the show and get 10% off your order at https://www.thefreezepipe.com and use code DIAZ   Support the show and download the DraftKings Sportsbook app. Bet $5 on any game this week to score $200 instantly in bonus bets with code JOEY.   Get 10% off your 1st month of therapy and support the podcast at https://www.betterhelp.com/DIAZ  

Greetings to the check-in. It's Monday, the second of October. We're brought to you by the Freeze pipe. Let me talk to you guys, all right? For the smoothest way to enjoy cannabis, you gotta try a Freezable piece from the Freeze pipe. If you're tired of inhaling, heart smoke, having coughing attacks and taking pain, little ribs, that it's time for you to make a switch. You understand me? Listen, for years, I smoked a bun with snow in it, when I lived in Colorado, then I moved away. There was no more snow. And boom, the freeze pipe shows up,

equipped with a freezeable glycerin chamber that cools smoke by over 300 degrees. You pop the chamber in the freezer for an hour You can also put a little little bit of salt, glycerin chamber that cool smoke by over 300 degrees. You pop the chamber in the freezer for an hour as the smoke passes through it. It instantly chilled for an ice cold puff without the after

burn without the coughing. This bond, whatever you choose will rock your world for me. I put it a little thing. Whatever I'm'm really small, I also keep it very clean. Don't mess around, don't let it boil up or whatever. You know, the smoke comes out of there. Lee knows the smoke comes out of there. And then I blow the chamber out.

And let's hit the fourth of July. Anyway, check out the newest pieces, the mini bomb. Da, da, da, da, da, the tornado bomb and the glycerin blunt trip blunt tip to cool down junk joints Blunts and vapes no matter how you like the smoke freeze pipe will make an ice cold So do me a favor this company is American owned Pro for seven years and afford price. Shop the smoothest pipe, bubbler's bonds, and more. At the FreezePipe.com, use code DS. D-I-A-Z. For 10% off, your entire order. That's the FreezePipe.com. Code DS for 10% off your entire order. And let me talk to you about some of you people.

Order now for the holidays. Everybody's happy. You just grandma wants to eat turkey. Grandma wants to smoke a bottle of bacon. She's at home watching soap operas in her little fucking half a coffin you made it. Bring her the fucking the freeze pipe and flip her fucking wig.

No more bingo. Get her out of the goddamn house. This message is brought to you by the freeze pipe and flip her fucking wig. No more bingo. Get around the goddamn house. This message is brought to you by the freezepipe.com. Don't forget Diaz, D-I-Z for 10% off your entire order. Let's get this party started. It's over. They can put you on this planet just to give up. If all we're joy to do it, I could fucking rule the world. I think you gotta be thinking. Welcome back to Shabbat! Hello, hello, what's up? Hello, you're I can hear you. What's up dog? Beautiful Monday morning. So it's good to see you. But October October the reds do. And it is, it's unbelievable. How fast this is going. I can't believe it myself some days,

but who gives a fuck? What's happened to my little brother? I was home, Nebraska. Dude, it was one of the best weekends of like my comedy career, and quotes now, but it was as good as advertised. It was like even better.

Like it was just. It was what shows, correct? Five shows. Five shows. Look at you. Five shows. Every show was really good. All the shows were packed.

The club was awesome. The crowds were awesome. The staff and the staff. And like I've heard about Colleen, who was amazing, and super nice. But even the staff was hysterical. I don't want him out anybody, but there was someone there who was very nice,

the entire time, just very quiet and very unassuming. And at one of the last nights, they came in and said, if you guys want to party and he throws this bag of homemade cookies on the table, and so these will knock your dick in the dirt. And it was one of the funny, like we were on mushrooms. It was one of the funniest moments in the whole weekend and there were strong cookies.

They were really fucking good. Huh? Did you bring any home? No, we ate them. Oh, I ate them, all right. So you mixed the mess on Saturday night. Yeah, oh yeah, it was, um, but it was so fun. It was, it was a great weekend. How were you sets?

Four out of five were really good. The fifth one, it wasn't bad, but I stumbled over my words a couple times, and I was unhappy about it. But like Saturday night, it was one of the better weekends I've had. Let's talk about Saturday nights real quick. It's fucking crazy. The first seven years, you will come home every Saturday night scratching your fucking head. Because you did great Thursday.

Then you did great when you went to Uncle Floyd's piano, fucking bar, and you did karaoke, and you did 10 minutes of material. And Friday, you went back to the club, and you did another two shows, and you did really well. You even added some material for the late show. And then Saturday you either bag your dick on Saturday evening, early, and then you fucking

die at even worse debt on Saturday night. And you're like, what's going on with Saturdays? This will happen for about nine months and then you block you'll get out of that block that you've put in front of yourself and you'll start doing well either or we mean either or either or you'll either do great the first show or great the second show and yeah it's looking funny'll happen on the way that it dance. Like it usually does. Stand up. You'll start because where you came from and where where you people you were around early on and what you heard in that fucking room, you'll

start saying, you know what? I don't even like I won't even fuck with the early show on Saturday. The early show on Saturday and people coming in that confused, I'm going up second. They're still coming in. They're sitting down, they don't know what they want to drink. There's a guy with three eyes sitting next to him and he doesn't want to sit next to them.

The waitress comes over. There's so much movement going on, early game Saturday. So as a feature act, you come out and that's still unsettled. We don't notice that at the time, but that's this is what's going on. That's why I don't like these seven o'clock shows because people got to cut motherfuckers off like a Chinese dude to fucking get to the fucking show.

You know, who needs that shit? Who needs that shit? So I always liked 8 and 10 or 8 and 9, 45. The early show with people who have children, they got a babysitter. Maybe they're a little, you know, maybe they fucked with a sheet, with a little old man that only they asked, you know.

Who knows? The people who go to church, you come out there with a fucking off-color joke for for minutes in. That's going to be the longest 26 minutes of your fucking life after that. You remember that, you remember that at so many moments of your life, I still do, but then you start figuring out that the Saturday show, they're drunk. They've been sitting in a lobby drinking. They're going to college town. They were watching their game. There's so many fucking variables to a comedy set. And what happens on a Saturday fucking night, guy? There's a UFC. You bet fucking Dustin

Porriot. And he gets kicked in the head. You lost $100,000. You know, it's a thousand dilemmas. So, and when I started, there wasn't social media. So, right, you do one of those sets and like, not comedy clubs, but it's like comedy companies and they have comedy rooms for the weekend and every once in a while they'll throw you Friday and Saturday. You're going gonna die. You're gonna die, but they put you up. It's three days off your schedule,

you don't have to worry about. After the death, you'll never even go there again. When people talk about that city, you'll go look at it. I don't have the entire city. Yeah, like you're done. I don't need to go there. I don't want enough of the entire city. Yeah, like you're done. I don't need to go there. How people are true. Last time I went there, I got robbed.

You won't tell people the truth for about a year. Then one day you go, Doc, I ate a bag of dicks. What is wrong with me? Now I got to get back in there. And now the guy remembers you bombing. Tonight he doesn't really want to bring you back. And then after about a year and a half, Jimmy Schubert called you.

And he says, I need a feature next week and then there you are again. And this time you destroy the room. And whatever happened four years earlier, it's forgotten. That is a bummer when you do bad at like, I'm showing you feel like a book or doesn't like you now. How do you get past that? I think about it. You're a boss to Red Sox man, correct? Of course, you know, when they pay $10 million for a season and this guy shows up and he throws fuck and he strikes out all the time. It's pretty rough after that season. and he strikes out all the time.

It's pretty rough after that season. And then, but there's so many variables. You can't write a motherfucker off, yeah. Maybe he's a bust out. We all can't be fucking, you know, Shoshani Otani, whatever it's got in there. It's not with that Shoshani. I just, so hey, if we were all Seani O'Connor's,

you know, it wouldn't be fair. Right. So that's how I feel about that stuff. So never trip on your sets, because it used to destroy me. But I used to do those triple runs and fucking, he put you back there in six months and you just got over that beaten

because the night because You were leaving on a Tuesday night and they said and you had to get pick up the facts when you got to the hotel Sometimes you'd say to you Lee you're gonna go to Omaha, Nebraska Wednesday night and then from there you're gonna go to Ogallala Nebraska And then from there you're gonna go wherever the universe universe in the Nebraska is. You're going to go, okay, he goes just for right now, get to the hotel in the first place I said Omaha, Nebraska. It's a holiday and you're working with the guy Joey Diaz, watch him, watch him, do not lend him money, not do drugs and avoid him, and we'll send the facts of the remaining rooms to you to the hotel where you stay in that.

Wow. That's way of- Yes, so you jump in your car, you put on the seven hours, you get there, there's four sheets of where you're going every night radio, the hotel you're staying at, who you're checking in with. You go upstairs to your room. You look at the one for that night, you review it. It tells you, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

You look at the one for the next night because you want to see what time you got to leave the next morning. You can't be snorting, coing Coke and doing karaoke with waitresses. If you got to get up and fucking for in the morning and drive. Like sometimes when I saw that, I would pack my fucking bags, go do the comedy show and just get in the car afterwards. Because you're not asleep anyways. Oh, yeah, I'm not going to sleep.

So I would pick up five, six hours on the road take a two-hour nap Drive another two or three hours get to the hotel lunchtime and sleep all day Get up for an hour write some jokes, but there was also always a line in there and it said by the way when you get to this room You're not allowed to say any curse words. It's a Mormon room Fuck so for a guy like me seeing that at the four year level, I can't cover that spread. I got to throw in a couple of fucks in that. You know what I'm saying? Did you ever get fired?

Yes. What is that? That that sounds crazy to me. It's not as crazy as you might think. I got far I'm a trifecta type of motherfucker. I got five comedy club. I got five from a TV show set one time. I had a leave with security. Oh, holy shit. And then that was it. That was it. Which one do you want to tell first? I can't tell the comedy club one because I don't remember what club it was. It was so it was like it had to be 95. How bad do you have to bomb and get fired?

The group. No, we didn't bomb and got fired. We did a room. Myself in another comic. Who this comic was great. I was already at the comedy store. And fucking this guy we call had lined a comedy club in West Virginia. It was a week of one night. This guy was burying me late. He was for the show. Was he featuring for you? No, no, we were co-head lighting.

Co-head lighting, sorry. He was just burying my fuck at ass, you know. And we got along. He was a great guy. But my pony was the real deal, holy feel when it came to women. I would go to my hotel room and I'd get a call from his wife. You know what he is? I've been calling this room 80 times. And I'm like, I'm trying to snort Coke and whack off to whatever movie there is on this hotel. And calling me from that owns the hotel.

I got, now you call, I swear to God, every fucking night. My phone would bring up one time at a night from his wife. Jesus, I'm asking you call I swear to God every fucking night my phone would bring up one time of the night from his wife Jesus, you know, so he was just to play and then like Friday night. He caused some damage and The wife was involved she showed up and he had his under of many women then we both got fired I woke up that Saturday morning and they said you gotta go and it's funny you mentioned that because I was thinking about that mother fucker this week. The guy who you were with or he would have been.

Right now, he would have been one of the top comics. What do you think held him back? Eating fucking pussy. How's about that for you? That was a week beside that, Tarzan. My week was pretty great. My week was honestly just focused on Omaha, to be honest. That's what happens.

You put everything into it. You look at your tapes, you listen to tapes, you put your peas and cues and you move the fuck on. We had a good week. Finally, the right is strike is over I'm very happy Why are you happy about that? Because hopefully I can do something with the book tremendous. Oh perfect. Okay

Option it, you know, so with some luck Hopefully we get option it and start some talks for a TV show or a series. Whatever the fuck they want to do. That's what I'm gonna react is I'm not gonna go back for a few weeks. So that'll give the writers some time to write their fucking new stuff. I hope they don't come back with, you know, galaxy of the Guardians or whatever that shit is. And I gotta put up with those things. I watch them with my daughter. I don't know how they do it.

They shoot those movies like in three weeks. You do so. I don't know. But nothing is real. You just stand there next to you and get an actor, come to the little fucking choppy Mexican dude and fucking Mars. The next thing you know, you know, the illusions, whatever the fuck the makeup, I don't know. I don't know. You know, this is why I enjoy those movies with her. Right. Let's see her get a tick a lot of them. But I also try to mingle other shit in there. So she knows, reality. The only other how to watch in the French connection. She didn't dig it. That's like a 60s movie. What's it. That's like a 60s movie. What's that?

Isn't it like a 60s movie? 70s movie. 70s movie. Early fucking 70s. Pretty good movie. High and Tensely. As a matter of fact, I directed that directed the exorcist, rest his soul,

whatever freak in that fucking freak. But he's somewhere better now. Anyway, that the writer's strike went back. I had some meetings this week that were fucking pretty good, you know. I feel a lot better. My family's great. I just like to doublehead her. Oh shit, for basketball or softball? No, it's softball season, cocksucker. She has two games tonight. So I went to the first game. That's awesome. I don't know if they want to lost that there was a lot of hits and a lot of walks She was in the fucking they put playing statin island

They were a little better over team. They were more coach coach them a lot better But I got the words to first game. I got the words to warm up. There was a DJ that today You know, she like you're there now Yes, listen, I like to be that. When I'm there, there's no other place I'd rather be. I'm watching them play softball, which I never thought I'd watch. You know, I may have some medals in me mixing. I got the off to keep the flies away.

And I'm catching flies at the same time. You know, I'm having a great time. I'm blowing the whistle whenever I see's pitching to get it to focus. So she knows I'm in the thing. That's how we talk secretly. You're following saying I learned that from the Houston Astros. We got signals. We're banging the garbage bags over in Chicago. Yeah. And science, you got to do little things. I'm not feeling science, but I try to focus on it. Like if she throws too high, whatever, but who gives a fucking after people watching don't want to hear about my fucking daughter. It was a fuck. I don't know. I think they do. But I do the movies. The eye night. What? What do you see?

My friends had a big dinner at the forte in Hackensack. It's a new restaurant. My buddy opened up, fuck us, to move the food. And me and a bunch of guys from high school were gonna go. But I'm like Wednesday, and my daughter throws a bomb on me. I said, I told my wife, listen, I'm gonna meet these guys. She goes, what is that? And Mercy was like, pal, she was gonna remember, we're going to see dumb money.

And I'm like, okay, I felt bad. She goes, it's seven o'clock. So I said, perfect. I'll take you to the MMA. We'll come home. We'll shower. And then I'll shoot you over to King's Chinese restaurant, like the menu picture. Yeah, perfect. She got the steak on a steak. I went light. I got the shrimp and garlic with the right white rice kept it really light. We got out of there. We got the dumplings. What's that?

I can't believe you didn't get the dumplings. Doug, I got to watch shit. And I tell you what, when I have those meals that are rich now, I'm done. I'm done. It's over. I'm a different Billy goat, you know what I'm saying? You're like, it's still eats snot to the shit,

but I got to watch my meals. You're following me. Are you still eating your snot? From time to time. Not as much because I don't produce as much. I'm not snorting coke. I still got the little nest that comes out over here and I wiggle it every once in a while and sometimes you got a good one. Sometimes you don't.

Sometimes you get a little speck. You throw it up in the air, but sometimes you rip out like a little vein, like a six inch, and you play with it for a little more, and you just inhale it, like a fucking oyster, you know what I'm saying? Pfft, sping, you know, useless woman. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha. Oh my God, Jesus Christ, Joey.

What do you want to do? You told me, this is the fucking checkin'ly. Oh my God Jesus Christ Joey. What do you want to do? You told me this is the fucking check and lead. This is not about you know, this is us talking shit. What you know, whatever they want to do, they got to do. Where you tell guys. Can you tell me what was that was the last week you told me you eat gum still. Yeah, what happened?

Let me tell you something. Let's talk about last week for starters, just to get this party to listen. Hold on one second. How about a word from my sponsor? This episode is brought to you by better help. Sometimes you're lacking the motivation to do things you should do and yourself sabotage yourself. Let's talk about this. Therapy can help you figure out what's holding you back so you can stop working against yourself. Better helps online therapy is incredible. But you could talk to a licensed therapist, through video, chat or by phone or even by message. Getting to help you need has never been easier. When I

moved I had some struggles, I was stuck, I contacted better help. Here I am three years later throwing heat. Take a quick quiz to get matched with licensed therapists. If you ever need to switch therapists for any reason you could change at any time for no additional charge, no questions asked. So do me a favor. The hard days are coming, you wanna have a clear head, make your brain your friend with.

BetterHelp, visit betterhelp.com slash DS. DIAZ, and I'm gonna get your 10% off your first month. It's gonna help you out. If it helped me, and you know I got problems, it'll help you. That's better help H-E-L-P dot com slash DS better help dot com slash DS and now we're going back to

Talk some more whatever the hell we were talking about all right, so don't forget visit better Help get your act together focus before the holidays You want your parents to invite you back to the house for dinner. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, what were we talking about? We're talking about last Monday. Last Monday, you and I decided to do the editables

a lot earlier. Correct? Well, the same thing I did last Monday. I did not respect, I didn't know what my tolerance was. And I think I opened up with maybe three of them, right? I blasted those at like five. And then during the podcast, I must have been popular or like at seven,

I popped like two more. Let me tell you something, my friend. When I had it, when I wrapped up, I already knew I had it, when I wrapped up, I already knew I had to do that fuck show to just he walked us whatever his name is. So, you know, they just called the fuck in 530 and want to be the drive into the city. I'm very grateful they thought about me. Thank God, it was a subject that I kind of knew about. They tried to go a little political on Uncle Joey Joey and that's where I tapped out,

but there was more to the story. See, because I'm sitting here with you and that text them, they telling me they're outside. Oh, damn. So already I ended the podcast with you. I basically got up, drank some water and went outside right into this little fucking CIA van. As I'm going in there, I'm like, well, am I doing it?

I got to go inside and get a gun or something because where am I? These guys might be Cubans. They might be taking me to the fucking airport. Those were the other bulls that were hitting me dog. Trust me. And I got you paranoid. Why?

You were getting paranoid? Something was going on. Like my mind was just racing. So I got into the fucking van. There was one sweet kid shook my hand. What's going on like my mom was just racing so I got into the fucking Van there was one sweet kid shook my hand was going on I sat down and as I'm sitting there in the van like this remember it's a fucking van. I got a room in here okay this is a fucking van I'm sitting there and all suddenly the edible start percolating.

To the point where I had to tilt my head back so I could see the eyeballs would use right was here and fucking Spanish people. Was there an afro Cuban music? It was on. And now they made me put the earphones on and I'm sitting there like a mook. They told me to run out and now they got me in there and they're like, you're probably going to go on at 9 o'clock. I go, listen, I ain't going to make it till 9 o'clock. I ain't a child. I'm very terrible.

And that dude's face froze. He's like, okay, we get you out of here in about six minutes after the commercial break. But they hit me with the fucking camera and the question. I was in fucking Gagaville. I blacked out that night. I Black down on the other bulls. Yeah, I blacked out. I don't know what happened on TV or later. Oh Not on TV later like two. I was later the other moves met up with the fucking mushrooms. And shit got deep. So all I remember is going to bed and waking up my wife telling me a bunch of things. You don't remember being downstairs and talking about this movie for like 20 minutes.

I don't remember dick. Jesus. I wasn't deep in the murky was how often you black out. Come on. I haven't blacked out for 20 fucking. How often do you black out? That come on, right? I haven't blacked out for 20 fucking years when I was eating quailoos. I was eating. That was even 40 years ago.

Where, you know, who blacks the fuck out? I don't know. I don't know. But maybe I don't know, I was doing bong hits. You know, it was a rough week. Who the fuck knows? The next day I got up and I went right to the red light therapy and I sweat that Muffongo juice out.

I love sweating in there for 34 minutes. And then I walk out, I sit in the air condition, I dry up, I put my clothes on, then I open up that door and I smell in there. Oh, the red light therapy. Yeah, with the heat, it's 154 degrees in there for 34 minutes. I take a 30 second break. I step out and drink some fucked and liquid IV with some fucked in cholesterol.

I'm in that motherfucker, which is tit protein when you're born and gives you extra strength. Anyway, we're not getting into that right now. I'm not a doctor. I'm just a player, you know what I'm saying? And what is that smell like? What's that? You said the smell of the red light therapy. Oh, when I come out, it's not the red light therapy.

It's the water that comes out of me lately. Oh, no. Yeah, you fucking, it smells like straight up, A, B, X capsules, fucking eggs and Freddy's fucking pork fried rice. Damn. And you're not high anymore. You're not high the next day. When I wake up.

After the red light therapy. One cup of coffee, sweat it all out. I try to move around. I go to the gym, I go to the gym, I went back to the gym too last week. I was fucking ecstatic about that. I finally got to go in there, see the fucking guys and make it happen, you know. That's awesome.

How to go? It went great. That was the best. I'm gonna hit this week twice. I'm I'm gonna hit this week twice. I'm gonna try to hit this week twice. I gotta do a couple of things. I went up to my neighborhood the other day. It's been raining here for a fucking week and a half straight.

Every day is like land of confusion. You don't know when you're gonna get the call about the canceled softball practice, the canceled game. So we were just playing, we try to get it out of the way. We try to get it involved in the ship, but it's been brutal. So sadly, I fucking said fuck this early. I filled up my car and I went up north. What do you do there?

I went up to fuck. What do you think I want to do? I went over to pictures of the drugstore bridges because I went to fucking Rudy's my friend. Oh, she get the calm eye. Huh? You get the calm eye? Yeah, half-order with shrimp and calm. I had the salad, the house salad, the full order, nice cup of Rhode Island fucking seafood chowda I drove down Bergen line Avenue my old little haunts I drove down into North Bergen to visit my friends ex-wife. She's a very sweet lady I called that she didn't answer so I didn't think she was home I went over

to Bergen Line Avenue to see my buddy on the jewelry store and that's impossible. You not going to get parking anywhere. That's just impossible. I mean, I was at a light. It changed eight fucking times. Oh, that kills me. By that time I was like, I got to go. I don't have to just pay. I gave it a New York try. I should have gone up like how my plan was to go up on a Tuesday. Go up on a Thursday, Tuesday's even better if I get up there and get it out of the way. I can leave here at 9.30, get up there at 10.30 fine parking, go see him, swing over, pick up a human sandwich, which is some bakery products and fuck and make a U-turn,

south. You won't even know I was there. You know people, I'm there, there's the easy pass. Bing, Bing. It was two other fuckers doing 90, you know what I'm saying? It was too busy on this Saturday. It's too much. All those Spanish people I've got the best deals.

They have a Carlos God knows what else, you know, but speaking of that rain in New York Did you see the flooding that's going on in New York and like the subway and shit? Listen guys. This this was everywhere this was I don't know. I don't know what happened last week. I don't know if we're getting the message I don't know if this has become Seattle New Jersey. I don't know if we got the message. I don't know if this has become Seattle, New Jersey. I don't know, but hold on one second. So I went to the Union City of Memphis and you know what? Fuck, it's time to go home. I got back on Kelly Boulevard and I shot nice dog. You couldn't make our left. I'm right on the Bergen Line until I got down to like the fucking 39th street and I knew that area. So I finally made it right there and

I crossed the Kennedy Boulevard I shot down to Bergen Ternpike there. I drove past my mother's cemetery Dog they haven't mowed the lawn and about fucking a month and that motherfucker or It rained so much that they give grass grew that much But there were two spots where somebody hit the fucking fence with a car and it's still bent over. Like, you can just walk the fence and jump the fuck. And then I went down to my own neighborhood and it's like, they just sucked the fucking energy out of that.

How'd they do that? I don't know. First off, it looks like it's a war zone. My corner, my ex corner there, where I would hang up and grow up and give it a terrace. There's two hours on the corner, as you drive by, you go, what the fuck is that? There's like shit growing on the buildings.

I don't know. I don't know. It's weird when you go to where you grew up and you expect to see something. But the park is very nice. They did a great job with the park, but they built everywhere. The woods were where we grew up.

That was our fucking, that was our little camping territory. But nobody had a tent. You know what I'm saying? We just went up there and did all the shit. You're not supposed to do it home. People would drop playboys up there. You'd see all condoms and you pick them up with a stick

and you talk somebody to sniff. You gave somebody a small $2 and a fucking bottle of Budweiser, a nip, I don't do anything. And they tore it all down? No, it's all fucking developed up there. Right, building of them, on front of the building is they built some other shit.

And you're like, I used to walk through there to cut up the shop right. I would walk up through there and there would be 10 kids walking through there because their mother sent them to fuck the shop right. So we'd cut behind the fucking pool hall and walk up the shop right there. Is the depressing that they changed it?

That shop right where I used to go as a kid. Yeah. They could turn that into a haunted place. It's still there. Is the depressing that they change it? That's right. Well, I used to go as a kid. Yeah. They could turn that into a haunted place. It's still there. I went to shop right about a mile from my house. It's a 2023 shop right? Horned. Get lights. Fucking self check out. Self check out if you have a card.

Self check out if you have cash. Self check out if you're on welfare, whatever the fuck you're showing up with, they're taking it from you, who's saying they don't give a fuck? They were special aligners for welfare? What's that? They were special aligners for people on welfare? Well, don't take international money.

They don't give a fuck. They cash it right there. Little arrogance out with a suitcase. The hand down is raced and they open it right there. What do you got? Money from Belgium, Honduras. You got it, we take it. We take an extra two point big because we're right here in the middle of the supermarket.

We're not going to ask you for an ID. Thank God. Because obviously you're going to spend the money and I fucking supermarket. I don't know. I'm just making this shit up. I don't know what they do anymore, but it was very nice compared to what I expected to walk in there to see it was fucking beautiful. Clean this fuck. People everywhere. Help me. Help you. Help you. Very high level. How does it make you feel to see the changes? It makes me feel very, are you fucking crazy? I don't know how I feel.

I want to get me out of this. Fastest boss. No, not not a shop right? In your burger. It makes me feel emotional. You know, that's it with my therapist. Maybe you were attached to that shop, right? It's fucking crazy. It makes me feel like time has moved on. It's over. That was then this is now. All I got to worry about is fucking what's in my circle. You know what I'm saying? Speaking of which, we're coming out a little early, which is so I took a fucking bad tonight. Not a big one, 50 bucks, you know. When I say a bad, you know me, and I knew my shit was off.

I took Miami because I was going to Florida and teens out of respect. They were getting to one and a half. That line was wagging. You bet Miami today you're wagging. I threw it the small 25 just to watch the game and I had Cleveland against fucking Baltimore I Thought the Sean Wilson was gonna fuck until 20 touchdowns

Obviously here they showed the You know trying to do a reach around around a little Chinese masseuse, you know that the, you know, trying to do a reach around around the little Chinese masseuse, you know, that's a masseuse with a story and cleaver from last night. Anyway, let's drop a little Draft King's love on you motherfuckers. We'll be right back. Give us a minute. Hit it. We're back. Listen, how many times I got to bother you people? The NFL season is going strong. Draft King Sportsbook is hooking new customers up right now with an offer that's too good to be true. I know you heard it,

and now you're gonna hear it from Uncle Joey. But five hours on any game this week to score 200 instantly and bonus bets. All customers can take advantage of the sweetening of the offer every game day this October. You guys know me, Doug. I just told you, I lost this weekend. What the hell?

I lost Sunday. But I had a great time. I had some action this weekend. I went over to a party, listen. It's the graph Kings is the best way to make the big game even more exciting. Who's better than you guys? Get on the game, Vayne Greatness. Download the Draft King sportsbook app now. Use Code Joey, J-O-E-Y, new customer. Stop it. You can score 200 instantly in

bonus bets when you bet just five hours on the NFL. Period. That's Cole Joey, J-O-E-Y, only a draft king sportsbook, an official sports betting partner, the NFL. The crown is yours tonight. What's happening tonight? You got a great game. I think the Giants are playing somebody. I don't know who the line is, but who cares? Download the Draft King's app right now,

and let's get Monday started next week as Columbus Day and you want a little g and you want a little g We're back all day. You expect the phone calls, you know, who calls nobody? That's all I can say. If you want to be your fucking friend, get the fuck out of here. You know, yesterday I called three people, something. They all called like eight hours later. Nobody, I didn't pick it up for nobody. Like I don't even know what I called you for anymore. It's just to keep calling.

What'd you call me for? What'd you, I don't know. Call me on Tuesday. Maybe I'll remember by that. I'm getting old you I don't know call me on Tuesday maybe I'll remember by that I'm getting no I don't need this shit either pick up the phone or call me tomorrow because by that time I'll get my head together you know what I'm saying I love it. I got no complaints you know what do you want me to fucking do I'm doing the best I can I love doing this with you This is the best I can do for right now. You know, Zane. Oh, I'm having a blast, dude Yeah, this is all you need to do hopefully you come down and we'll set up a little live show somewhere

Oh, I would love that a deep give away some fucking malochia sticks I've been liking I I've been liking doing the the like the mushroom late shows with Josh. It's been, I was scared of when we were doing the church. I was genuinely scared of doing mushrooms. By the way, for the people who are concerned about my first of all, I found that online. I found that one of the listeners that had yeast infection in my ear. Oh shit. I went to CVS and I bought that little yeast medicine. I think a little Q-tip. And I put it in there, you know what? My ears are a little bit moisturized more.

But they still smell like donkey fucking dick every once in a while, a juice that comes out there is the worst. We have a son, barris to bite it, but I addressed the issue. So thank you very much. You know what I'm saying? As you can tell, I'm looking very fucking very, I don't know.

Hee hee hee, anyway. What were we saying, Tizen? I was just talking about doing mushrooms. You listen to me. I'm a big fan of what you're doing. I fucking admire the ball sack on you. It's so fucking funny, you know? Like, you know, point black, I got into comedy after I read that fucking book about it, fucking Nupoleh and Jewish junkie, whatever his name is.

You know, at the time I was out of prison and it fucking just sold me on what I thought I wanted to do. I knew I was a dead and gone and I said, fuck it. What's the guy I'm talking about, life and chronology all the out of my hand? Lane Bruce.

Lane Bruce. So, you know, listen, when I got into comedy, I remember I got into comedy in June, all right? And I kept getting froggy and froggy. You know, I would smoke dope and then I would stop, you know, I was like, how can I? During the contest, I didn't do any drugs. Any drugs. I took that contest very fucking seriously. I had ruined everything in my life. I'm not fucking gonna keep ruining it.

I would go and ask sober as a judge, and after whatever happened, I'd have a few fucking margaritas. I'd get a package, and I'd do what I have to do. I'm not gonna fucking tell you I was a saint here. But I started experimenting. Like after three or four months we thought taking chances. And the biggest worst thing I ever did was eight months in trying to do blow. On stage? Yeah, and I was the first guy to go up. And I remember that I always struggled with other shows

when I went up first. And knowing that I said, you other shows and I went up first. And knowing that I said, you know what, I'm not going to wear a suit. That's the other decision I made that night. I'm not going to wear a suit no more. It's not getting me nowhere. You don't think I'm doing this drop in 12 a week on dry cleaning? You know, and I spill it and it smells like dick and there's cocaine in the pockets. What am I wearing a fucking suit for every week?

That was the first week. I have a fucking dress like a shirt, paragenes, sneakers, and I got a package for the headliner and he gave me like a quarter gram and I did like two fucking lines and I went and got on stage. That was not a fucking good situation for me that night.

What did it feel like? It felt really fucking bad guys. It did not feel good on stage. I knew I didn't have any control. And I never tried it again. That's how bad I felt on stage. Like I, all my life, I've been doing this dumb shit and now I'm gonna bring it into my comedy,

shame on you. So St. Paddy's Day 92, never again on stage. Then I started fucking around after the 10 year mark, doing it the night before his show. And if you don't think it hurt me, my performance, like if I got high on a Thursday night, if you want me to sit here and tell you, it didn't hurt my performance on a Friday, shame on me.

But that's a complete different thing. I know you don't drink alcohol, you're very focused on what's going on. And I'm very surprised that you're doing mushrooms. And I'll tell you why. I would have gave you mushrooms three years ago. And there's a certain reason with you, you're Jewish and you're neurotic.

And I always told you and I was kidding Josh when we did the Zoom call last night. I wasn't a fucking yearking you in no way. I always saw you as a Woody Allen type writer without, you know, marrying some Chinese kid. I always saw you in that realm. I really did. Once you started doing comedy,

I was very shocked when I saw a came up. I know that every once in a while you want to work our rating or whatever, but you're always very tight and we'll go back to, you know, tonight I blew whistle at my daughter's game. Right? When she was on a pitch and then I blew another one before she was batting. She got a dad we had double-headed. She goes, Dad, do me a favor, don't fucking distract me with the whistle. You know, and do what you keep doing is once you go to play and do work,

we think those girls are gonna be doing. They're gonna be throwing chairs at you and you're up there pinching, a playing third base. What do you think of it? A whistle's gonna really fucking distract you, you understand? And, but you need that.

That's how you grow sometimes. And since day one, and you can be honest, you know, I'm gonna give a fuck on those. But whenever we did comedy at the ice house, my job was to fuck you up. Oh, that job was because you had too much of a stick up your ass to do comedy. You had all the tools except you were scared to cross that line. When you came into the office that day and what I always loved about you was your comedy honesty. Everybody kills everybody kills

everything. Right. Get the two three year mark, but they're sitting right next to your paying for a $5 spot. Right. And they bond the last three times you saw. But their friend got him a spot after Irvine in problem. They destroyed. They got a standing ovation. You know, no, you came home and said, the fucking I had a great time, but the guy brought me up as Lee swat Inside crumbled up, you know what I'm saying? It was like and I got that that happened to me a thousand times I laugh because wow I forgot what had happened to me Like you reminded me of all this shit I

Went through and I would giggle because I forget how I reacted to it. Are you with me? At 100%. So, you know, it's funny when you tell me those things. So, when now you're doing mushrooms before a fucking show on Saturday night late. If you called me and said you bond, I would never be angry. Well, we sometimes do it right before I go on stage.

It's not, I'm not like Theo, who did it on the church and then went to the ember of. I haven't, I've done shows with you on edibles a million times. I haven't felt the mushroom on stage. That would be, but it is, we do it like right before, and I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people.

I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going to be a lot of people. I'm not going be like, I don't know. What did you know me? Yeah exactly. I want you to understand what I'm taking calmly. One in Rome number one, look who you're with and they've

always shown love for you. Right. Then I'll have to throw you out of the game. In fact, it's going to be a different experience for you. You might even say to me, you know, next time I got to add, I'm going to eat mushroom because I'm more free at whatever the fuck, whatever makes you free. I don't give a fuck. Look at these people. They do pounds of fucked and steroids and they walk up to you. I train every day, not gonna. I'm not gonna be embarrassing. You know what I'm saying? With this shit, this is the same thing. I think I couldn't... Listen, the first two weeks of this podcast for the second week, we did a podcast and we took a for granted.

And we were a little stiff. I'm stiff when I do these things. I know in my mind, I don't wanna drink alcohol, but it just doesn't taste good. So I gotta drop a medal or two, but I gotta make a hit me. But So I got to drop a medal too, but I got to make a hit me, but then I got to eat one when I'm here. So it hits me all at one time.

And I'm on shop when I'm here. And I got to make my mind work double fast. I enjoy that shit. I enjoy being loose. I'm better when I'm loose. Anybody when they do comedy, if you go on stage with a beer in your hand, and that makes you feel loose, I would never be angry at you, but don't force it. If you're not a drinker, don't force it,

bring up water or whatever. Stay hydrated. You know the fucking commercials, I don't like to tell you here. But, you know, Paul Moon used to go up there with a bottle of champagne, cat-woly, but you know, and I know they wouldn't Joey. That was later on, but I don't give a fuck. I don't bring, I don't give a fuck if he bring a teddy bear up that. As long as you feel comfortable, whatever takes that stiffness away from you, so be it. Again, I'm not adhering to Hatterall. I've never even done that shit.

I'm not adhering to a shot of blow. I'm not adhering to Hatterall. I've never even done that shit. I'm not adhering to a shot of blow I'm not adhering to heroin But I would be a hypocrite if I fucking sat here and said to you What listen I want you to kill Like gold is you to fucking kill You think I mad at Led Zeppelin for being heroin junkies You think I mad at Led Zeppelin for being heroin junkies? You think I'm mad at Sabbath for being cocaine junkies? It worked for them.

It worked. And they have trials and tribulations from them. And they want to do fucking great things. I'm not advocating drugs here. I'm just saying that some people need alcohol. Listen, when I moved to LA, I didn't want to fail. So I wanted to focus. So what did I do? I went on a little coke. I was broke. I'm not going to lie to you. It's not like I gave up cocaine. No,

you know, things were bad. I'm making 15 of a spot here. And I started smoking cigarettes. To get the same effect? It was a euphoric effect. And Josh Wolf started very light. Like I said, there wasn't much money. So it was $2 a piece. We go to 7.11 on Kersan. And we buy a pack on camel lights or more

burrow lights. We always alternated. We'd go to where we had to do comedy at. We, when we got home, we throw away whatever's left in the box. That's how it started for me. It really started to tail in the Seattle. I noticed that a lot of comics were smokers. At this time, if you were a smoker and you got in the car with me and little cigarette, I throw you out of the fucking car. If you told me that you were going to drive me to a gig and I got in your car and there was an ass tray with cigarettes, I'd have to get out. But at 33 years old, something from watching other comics, then I started studying tape

and a lot of them were smoking on stage. And it was the guys I liked. So I tried it and I fucking enjoyed it. I enjoyed smoking before stage. I never brought a cigarette on stage. Well, isn't nicotine like good for focus? Like do you feel like it like? What am I?

I don't know. Dr. Fucking Phil, I don't know if nicotine's good for focus. I know for me, it was working. You know, I remember having a conversation with you about coffee. Mm-hmm. You know, like coffee. Well guess what?

I was raised in the fucking Cuban house where they make coffee with milk in it and they give you a piece of bread with butter on it. That is the nastiest fucking thing I've ever seen in my life. So at a certain age, even though I enjoyed the smell of coffee, I did not drink coffee. Asked me when I started drinking coffee again. What? 19, 2000. Wow. It was 37 years old. I didn't type of coffee when the time I was fucking 13. I was 37 years old. Ask me why?

Why? Comedy. I started enjoying a cup of coffee before a chef's show with the cigarette. I thought that was the most euph shifts show with the cigarette. I thought that was the most euphoric thing in the world. And if you fucking put a joint in that mix, I'd go to 7-Eleven. You know, I was making headliner, start a money,

800 a weekend. I would go to a 7-Eleven and get a couple that Brazilian bold or whatever that fucking coffee was Nick a team plus whatever the fuck they had premium plus Fill it up with that fucking sugar that Whatever that cancer sugar. I'd buy a pack of cigarettes. I'd have some riefer That to me was the most euphoric thing I could do before I went on stage It just rose me up. It didn't get me too hyped up because sometimes you

read a mushroom and it's before you get on stage, you're like, yeah, you know, I'm Jimmy Hendrix. And then when you get on stage, the lights, the people, your hard starts beating, not become something completely fucking different. How do you get with the muscles. Well, what I was thinking about what you were saying about the weed. I, because I was like, I up until like six months ago, maybe a little bit more. I was like very nervous. Like almost debilitating before I would go on stage like at pace and I think the weed I don't really smoke much anymore but if I would get a little high I'd be very relaxed and I think now like you don't smoke cigarettes anymore like I think that was a good thing for me to get over my anxiety.

I just, I guy, I've had bad sets high on stage, like one of the, uh, Sony hall ones. I took an edible in the car on the way there and then an edible on stage. And I just fucking... You're a freeze. Oh yeah. I think, look, I've been there. You saw me one time when I had to ask the waiter for a chicken sandwich before I was going on stage because I... Ten Jose.

You're milligrams, uh, whatever. And guys, I was the manables, but the excitement of the show, the excitement that you have, the adrenaline, once the adrenaline mixes with that T H C, that's a weird feeling sometimes. And sometimes you got to adjust yourself. Oh, you got to like ask questions, who's in the army? You know what I'm saying? Just to get your head back together, who's they're going to join the Marines? Just to get your head back together. Who's they gonna join the Marines? Just to get your head back together. It's like getting punched in the fucking head. You're gonna step back for a little,

you're gonna breathe a little bit. You're gonna see who the fuck you are, and you're gonna fucking keep going. I mean, you can't call a time out when you walk on stage. Yeah, I was thinking about that this week is like, because I had that show where I stumbled. And I've blanked too. Do you ever address it with the crowd to say, oh, I lost my spot or do you just place right through it?

You get to a point where you just tell the audience what you feel and they'll take the ribo because they feel the honesty but it takes a long time to get there. Like it takes a long time to go guys. You never want to go on there with a fucking horror. Guys I got into a car accident before I got it. You shouldn't have showed up. You would have waited for the attorney. You could have made some money with fucking Sullivan McGee. Whatever one of these guys will have showed up on the fucking hospital bed. You rushed over here You understand it's like when a fighter fights he loses and a week later. I got an injury in camp a week before Come on, man Don't even bring it up. It may be it's true, but don't say it

Don't say that if I can and this is what I want from comics, young comics, to don't blame things, to put that you realize, to blame yourself and look at your thoughts and listen to the tape, to put that you, you know, the world they built around you. You're not doing something correctly. It'll take you a while to adjust and You'll get it. We all fucking get it What do you think we all just went up there and blue bubbles out of your asshole and people were giggling and shit stop it

Stop it. That's part of the fucking fun. That's the fun of it That every night is different that every night is different. You know what I'm sitting home every night and they gotta get up in the morning and go to work and they're like, I got nothing going on in my life. We get to do something different every fucking night. We get to look at somebody go, my, the show starts today,

the show ends at 10, I'll be home about 10.30. And at 10.30 you're talking to two fucking stool dishes from France that got a pound of coke and a mini skirt on. Where you going? You better call that job and tell them, you ain't showing up tomorrow. And you're at a fucking bar in Worcester.

I mean, I'm not saying, I hope that, I'm not saying that, but I'm saying there's so many, it opens up these adventures for you. Next thing you know, you come to me with talking, I'm an open mic, you're an open mic, but guess what, I got my own apartment. I work for an insurance company, I make some money, I wanna come over and watch the game,

and me and you and a couple comics come over and we watch the game, and we each talk about each other's fucking journeys, you know, whatever. You know what, but there's also, we had someone try to get's fucking journeys, you know, whatever. You know what I'm supposed, but there's also, we had someone try to get into the green room this weekend. Like we had, and then I was thinking about it, do you ever have like, it might have been a girl,

might not have been a girl, but like, you bring someone to a show and then go crazy, because it reminded me of a story that happened to me in San Diego. Did I ever bring a girl to a show and they go crazy because it reminded me of a story that happened to me in San Diego. Did I ever bring a girl to a show with you or anybody like yeah, no, I don't know. No, I wife, not the girl I moved to a lay with. No, no. No, no. I've been very fortunate, man. I heard horror stories about a dear friend of mine who was working on a TV show, a big-time TV show, and he invited his wife to one of the

functions and his wife cornered one of the other actresses and was like, you know, when you made out with him, you used your tongue, you know, and then it's quarter out of that and shit like that. So you got to know the animal you fucking dealing with and know how they're going to react to alcohol around other people and know how they're gonna react to start them and people of a different realm that they never around. So I'm very fortunate about that. Even the girl that I moved to LA with, Doug, we still fucking talk and she's still very supportive. She calls and she goes, I found posters from Seattle's and pictures. I'm gonna scan them and send them to you. posters from Seattle's and pictures. I'm gonna scan them and send them to you.

It's, I've always had people around me that were very supportive, especially when it came to women. You know, my friends in the business were all women. We all supported each other when we were in other. You're not getting into the business to sleep with to median girls. You're getting into the business to sleep with the median girls. You're getting into the business to make them your fucking allies.

You help them to help you. You're on the road, you bump into them. They know, listen, I'm at the fucking hotel and I'm on the corner. I'm over here two blocks away, but you leave me. I'll call you after my show. You call me after another next day. I'm breakfast the next day day her manager is telling,

you know, he wants to talk to you about management. You have no idea the possibilities. Meanwhile, Joe Schmoh is trying to get into a pants. Why do you want that? That's what everybody's fucking doing. That's, I knew. I know, like, the one with me, me and I like Jim pine. He's a a door guy at Matt House or he's a comic but he I

Met a girl at a bar and she asked to come to the show with me. This is when I was 300 plus pounds and it was as as soon as we got there She started heckling every comic, like every comic. And Jim told me to leave and apparently after the show, she got on stage and started yelling into the mic. It was the only and then a mic. And reminded me last night because this girl, this lady was very nice, but she just got too drunk and tried to get in the green room. And what you want to do, you want to swap a bit with you? I don't think so, not me. Oh, she was dead of sea at Josh Wolfie.

Probably, probably Jake. Listen, that happens. You know, when you go to a smaller city, they're very excited, you know, I mean, I saw somebody other day almost crashed that car. Why? Because they wanted to say hello to me. Oh Jesus. And then they left the ass of a car out and they ran across the street to take a picture her and her son. It was fucking like and people were beeping out of and I'm standing there like I don't know what's going on

I mean, I don't know these people And then they started going around and I may believe I don't know what was going on the friend of mine Pulled up behind that's what really happened that my friend So it was going on he was driving by and he pulled up behind him You got love this fucking little tat- tatatay from yesterday, so I Might to go eat some lunch. I figured let me get out of the neighborhood. Let me go up north and Do something different the girls were somewhere and I wasn't gonna see him till seven Bob will gonna drop her off and I've been made it was moving night and water pistol night

rough and I've been made it was movie night and water pistol night. And I run a girlfriend's. So me and my wife had plans. Anyway, so I was gonna meet my wife here about what 30. I go up there. I go, let me grab some fucking lunch. Boom. I go as I pull it into the park, three fucking things away.

I put a dollar in the meter and quarters. I'm walking into fucking Rudy's a dollar in the meter in quarters. I'm walking in to fucking Rudy's, and also this thing goes down, I hear the lady pull up, but right there, my buddy pulls up behind her. Kid, I fucking grew up with, and the way he loved Dealy, and she comes all the, takes the picture,

and I go, bro, you're gonna come in, and he goes, yeah, yeah, be in, let me park. And right there, two other dudes came over and I took pictures of them, two little Spanish dudes. We talked for like a minute. I went into the restaurant, I had to pee like a motherfucker. I just drove for 50 fucking minutes.

I ran out of, I got a pee. I got a pee. And I pee, I wash my hands. I got it together and I sat down and all of a sudden, you don't have to give me a menu to that place. Even though I wish I would have gotten yesterday because it's something else I would have ordered. Can I tell you about this? I don't think so. So let's cut through the chase. We're not going to talk about what I ate. I ate

dick. I had a salad and fucking soup and and and some pride color. I have. Yeah, you said you ate that. Yeah, so I'm sitting there on something my buddy comes at Now whenever I go to this place I always bring up some loose joints some laughing gas I bring up some ABX For the main dude. He loves the ABX. No fucking pop with his mouth and chew on him with no water I know two people who stick him in their mountain just grind on them Wasting their mouth. I never seen nothing like that and my whole 20 years together. We never fucking I never popped one of those things in my mind I think I was fucking faint. Oh, yeah, those pellets you put your mouth at times the girl wants and

I'm sitting there and I think I had a mushroom bar. But we start talking and we start talking about animals. And he's telling me he smokes that shit that you and I smoked outside the improv with my brothers up in San Francisco. The dabs. The dabs and shit almost I fucking almost fainted that night on Melrose. I can't take it. Shit, I was an old man already, and they give me fucking dabs and stuff. So he's telling me he smokes all these dabs, and he goes, if you want, I'll give you something, I'll go on.

I'm gonna do a dabs. Now, wife, she's a pipe, it's over. I don't need that shit in my life. So the next thing you know, he's telling me, you got any addibles, I got dog, I got some meddibles, but they're not the ones you play around with Okay, yeah, it's like come on dudes. I've done this I've done that I know this guy for 40 fucking years I got him by 10, but I know since he was a fucking kid. I mean a fucking kid Lee all right, let me see if I have the messages

He was sending me last night All right, let me see if I have the messages. He was sending me last night. All right. Oh, here we go. I hit him up at 140 a.m. and he put sleeping. When I called him, he texted me back. And then when I woke up, I answered at 907, but he sent it at 615 and he just kept writing wow, wow, wow, wow. And it's one of those fucking Uncle Joey classics because I felt like he was doubting me. So I showed him the container, he looked at it.

Right? I had one of these. I showed him the fucking ABX. He looked at it. And he's like, I don't know. And I go, what do you mean, you don't know? I go to take one. He goes, well, give me two of them. I'll take one now. And I'll give one to one of my friends. I can do what the fuck you want. So right then, front of me, he fucking pops his little ABX. I love him to death. And I see him drink his fucking club soda and we're talking. And I gotta go. I get him a big hug.

I take a picture of one of the guys at the bar. I get in my car and I decide. I told you I went down to North Bergen the whole thing. Anyway. I'm not even on a fucking root three. And this motherfucker's already texting me. What's in that thing, right? And I hit I call him back, you know, he texted me, but I called back.

And he's like, dog, I can't stop bouncing around. What's in that stuff? I'm confused. Like, oh, listen, you wanted to see the devil cock stuck and you're going to see the fucking devil, right? And he's like, I can't believe it. I'm just going to go home. So when I got like, I can't believe it. I'm just gonna go home. So when I got home, I was gonna start

and I called them back talking about his dog. He's like, man, I don't know if I can pass out because my dog, Lola, or whatever the fuck it is. This was six in the afternoon, six o'clock in the evening. Why are people still doubting you with animals? This guy, this one back and forth from about 10 and then he went radio silent. No.

He just went for puts. I didn't hear nothing else. He blacked out too. Oh my god. When I talked to him this morning, he said he woke up. He pissed and he went right to the refrigerator and he ate two bags of pretzels. He told me what he deviled when I forget him, two fucking high. He said, he went right to the refrigerator and he ate two bags of pretzels. He told me what he deviled what I forget. I'm too fucking high. He said the cheesecake earlier. He said he ate an entire cheesecake.

A whole cheesecake from Costco and something fucking else, guys. Those cheesecake from Costco's are fucking big. And he made a protein shake. That's right. He started off with a protein shake. He thought that would tame the fucking lizard. Not this fucking ABX. You go deep. The other day I made a concoction Monday night. That's what happens. You're pointing to me that I ate. I didn't know that I ate Monday night. That's what really happened. It really wasn't a black guy. I probably want to upstairs and a thousand milligrams hit me

Lee in the next day. I'm fake. I'm making a fucking more to doubt sandwich on this right back love our bread with fucking the ruler and spicy crust red pepper and a slice of avocado nice. Oh God. Who you think and I toast the fucking bread. Come on. I'm just trying to stay alive. Are you anything saying?

I don't know what pocket of our bread is. I don't know either. I don't know what they call it. Some bread from over somewhere. Just chick chick. I don't know. It's just good. I put an avocado toast on that motherfucking Memorial and tremendous. No egg. You people put the avocado and then the egg I'd have a fucking auto attack. Just give me the avocado. Put a lot of crush red pepper. But a little olive oil on that

fucking savage. Ooh, smoke it, you know what I'm saying? So what happened to your buddy? My buddy. The guy who gave me a little too. Ha ha ha ha. I called him today. He asked me a bunch of questions.

I said, listen, don't worry about it. I go, go on Netflix and fuck and watch the Thompson Go Respecial. That's the same thing I gave you. Call me like, I was later. He's like, what's your friend's name and what is it on? I go on Netflix because I ain't got Netflix. I'll look it up on YouTube. And I was at Adner from, he's at my age. I won't talk until during a week. And he hangs up on me all the time. Like whenever we talk, the conversation always ends.

We'll be talking like me, you know, go later, click. We just talking about a restaurant, check. What the fuck? That's something you would do. What's that? That seems like something you would just hang up. You know what, bro, we grew up together. So I told you, it's kind of,

but we'll talk three times in a night. And he'll just hang up. Are you coming? That's a great move. Come on, dog. Sometimes you gotta hang up on a motherfucker. Anyway, I got no winners. Kansas City is about to play fucking the jets.

I don't know what they're giving six and a half or something. Listen, you never seen a book you would apart time job. I'm gonna go. It was good to see you, my brother. Good to see you, buddy. We spoke every night. We did a check-in every night after each comedy show. I think Saturday was too late. I was up though. I was up last night. I was tough fucking blasted. I was up last night. It was a time difference. Yeah, we talked every day about it. Wow.

No, we spoke at night about your comedy and how you felt. And then Josh zoomed with me. And he praised you. And then this morning I got pictures of you with you and Colleen and shit So oh, yeah, she sent you those yet. No, and the dirty ones too with you kissing up on it Motherfuckin just because it's a Jewish New Year You're out there kissing women on my honor brasker trying to tell me fucking South, the Rubin was invented in the brass.

That's what he said. It probably was. But it didn't, it wasn't. So you learn something, you stand in listen, like you go there now and you might not go there for two or three years, until you're ready to fucking go, you know? And then you become fucking regular there.

And then you do it for about two years and then you become fucking regular there. And then you do it for about two years, and then one day you go fuck it. I'm doing the clubs I wanna do, and that's one of the clubs. That's a club when you wanna disappear. If you wanna go up there on Thursday, you disappear, and you fucking, nobody knows nothing for three days. If you wanna disappear again, you go to wise guys guys in Utah and you just disappear there for three fucking days

I'm going on there you go you take some notebooks You take some ref for you walk around the fucking desert you get ripped by a snake And they come home with a fucking little eye patch. That's it. I've never been to you wise guy. I've heard good things I like it run this club. These are all little clubs that there's no must, no fuss. You do one, two radio shows on Friday, and you're out of that dog. The community is grown around calmly in these a bunch of community. You know, I can list ten of those names. Utah, look what's going on in Boston, the explosion up there.

In a different way. The old guys are moving on. They're getting old. We're getting old. The young guys are taking over a new brand, the fucking comedy and whatnot. Did anybody see Sam Jay's new special? I haven't, I saw that. I mean, is that what, because he had him on HBO and there's more on Netflix now, right? Is that it? I don't know. I watched the one on Netflix last night. Last night. I fucking was watching the honeymoon. It was with my daughter.

We were all excited because Mambo, Mambo was on at 1230. We were all jazzed up already. We made chocolate egg crepes last night. She dipped the entomins chocolate, don't it in that motherfucker. Oh, yeah, yeah, I said, good chocolate. Not for me, that's diabetes central. I'd not have to do that money jumping jacks before I got a bed. So we came down here, it was like 10 to 12. Sci-fi was on WPIX, I'm sitting there with it. And fucking midnight times, it's another episode of Silent Thump.

The look on our face. It was like the look on people's faces, then they shot Kennedy or further TV. He thought it was a fucking video, you know what I'm saying? Like, he's bringing hope to the world or something. And we wanted to kill time. So I know Sam J. I know Sam J from Boston, I think. That's why I met her at one of the clubs.

She was my feature act like once or twice. I spoke to her when she lived in a small place and then when she came to LA, she came to the comedy store, great girl. I knew it was a matter of time. She had a great look and she spoke the truth. Oh my goodness, this fucking special is the most unwoke thing. I've seen in fucking years.

Even, I mean, I was in a position when my daughter was there and she was saying some shit that I was like, I can't have my daughter here. But I was just watching it. Huh? Marry, you let Marry's there watching too? I thought it was, she's gonna talk about black issues. No, I don't know.

I didn't think she was taking it like that. She did a bit about fucking medgets. I was rolling for 10 fucking minutes. She said that she watched the show where he seals, going top of these ice things. And then the ice things grow and they start getting cold to the commit suicide, they jump off the thing. And you hear the audience go

somewhere, she goes, why should I give a fuck about that? I mean, she just drops a real knowledge, suck my dick. When she said suck my dick, mercy nearly folded into a couch. I love it. You know what? It was me, at that age, listening to Richard Prie. And it shows you where people take it sometimes. It's not like I have that shit on constantly. I put that shit on once a month with somebody who's doing

something special. I didn't know she was doing something that fucking special. But the 15 minutes I saw she did a great job and she didn't play by the fucking rules. I love I haven't seen I'm gonna have to go I love watching new specials. And I'll leave you with that my little fucking friend. What do you got? We've done this. This week Thursday night I'm at a lizard brewing in Connecticut. And that's this week.

That's it. No open mics. Oh, yeah, I got open mics every night. I got I'll be in Maine. Going open mics the Oh yeah, I got open mics every night. I got I'll be in Maine. Going open mics the next couple nights. Wednesday. I'm in Worcester and Moonshawke again. The Thursday in Connecticut. And what about the weekend? What are you going to do? Saturday. I'm going to say it's funny. You just brought them up. I'm going to see San Fel. There you go. You take them. I've never seen him live. You take a mom. Yeah Maybe 91

Really in New York. No, I saw him in Denver. Oh shit very excited to see him. I was a fan of this show It was funny like he really enlightened me. I was a big fan of his really from his work on the Rodney Dangerfield, young comedian, special, and what he did with all those top notch comics, Seinfeld was very good in that. So I always kind of liked them, I liked the thing. I went to see him, he was very, he was different than what I expected,

I was gonna see, but still very fucking good at it. He's really good at what he does, you know. Now, hopefully he does. I don't know really. I see him on, he's drinking coffee in a fucking car with somebody on Netflix. I think I watch one episode. So enjoy it, but he's one of the masters from old school. I'm excited. This month, I'm seeing two. I'm seeing him and I'm seeing Chappelle in a couple weeks. Okay, what are you seeing? Chappelle at the boy's garden. The garden and then you know what actually in November I'm seeing Burr. So I got like a good good month.

Where Burr? Foxwoods. Because I know he's at Madison Square Garden and Dean Del Rey is opening from Madison Square Garden. Yes. That's awesome for Dean. Yes. Dean's a bad mother fucker, just like you, Coxuck, is your fucking moving up and Dean's moving up. Doing the garden. Who's better than Dean Dauray?

And nobody even looks at the fucking kid, you know? He deserves it. He works hard. Yes. He never fall into something. They all do, Dau. They all do doing They all do they all fall in shit work prevail hard work always fucking prevails Don't believe the hype Stop it. That's it cocks up his

I'll see you guys next week have a great fucking week lead hit me up during the week And let me know it's crack a lacking love you buddy. All right, love you to it now. For a word from my sponsors Jack have a great week. Thank you for listening to the check in. I want to thank Lee and I want to thank everybody who puts this together. But before we leave, I got to talk to you about some. The holidays are coming. Thanksgiving is coming. Listen, it's a beautiful thing. People come over your house. You bust out one of these freezable freeze pipes that I got. The company, the freez pipe makes a tremendous bond. If you're sick and tired, I've been hailing that smoke, having coffin attacks and taking little baby rips that it's time to make the switch. Why Uncle Joey? I tell you why. Because every free spipe comes equipped with a free, a freezable glycerin chamber.

What are we talking about here? It cools the smoke down by 300 degrees. So do me a favor. Check out thefreezpipe.com right now. The capital freezpipe.com right now. And I'm gonna get your 10% off your entire order. It's American owned for over seven years affordably priced and shopped the smoothest pipes, bubbler's bonds, the freeze pipe dot com. Use code Diaz for 10% off your order. I also want to thank

draft kings. I also want to thank BetterHelp.com. I'll see you cock-sook this next week. Stay Black. I love you. Lee, stay Black. I love you.