Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Felony Flashbacks with Danny B

Episode Date: March 31, 2026

The legend, the soldier of the year, the North Bergen legend Danny B joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt live in person for the first time after multiple virtual visits during the LA years. They talk about Joey's recent obsession with Grand Theft Auto, why they are both thankful for their crazy upbringing, why the police being called didn't used to be a bad thing and so much more. SHOW NOTES Get 10% off your first month of BlueChew Gold w/ code JOEY @ ⁠http://BlueChew.com/⁠ Head to ⁠http://tryfum.com/CHURCH ⁠to get your free gift with purchase & start The Good Habit Today! 

Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. What's happening, beautiful people. It's Tuesday, April 31st. The rent is due. The church of what's happening now, New Testament, is in full effect. I got my main man, Lee Syatt here, the cato of comedy, and I got my main dog, Danny Biancula. We go back 40 years, so sit back, grab some popcorn, and make some notes.

And if you like, call an attorney and see what the fuck is going on today. What's up, Danny Vee? Your math is wrong. 40 years. It's more like 50 years, pal. It's 80 years and cocaine years. Dog life. Dog fucking life.

I was going to say, you know. 40 years. This is really nice. It's great to be with you, pal. It's great to see you. And you came up, you saw the old neighbor. It looks like a fucking bono. I thought I needed a passport.

They had me fixed the fucking roads. I know. I know. I saw all potholes. I saw a guy on a roof on a machete. Yeah, it's not good. It's not good. But it's where it's a lot.

parking spot. Motherfuck, it's what got us on the map. Dude, they told me they're renting Airbnb's now on my old neighborhood, 78 Street in Bergen. Yeah, I believe it. Talking to the guy of like, yeah, they go right into anything that's close to that fucking big apple. And they don't have to pay those fucking prices in the city.

Don't keep somebody hit me up on Twitter. I'm in a hotel in North Bergen. Where do I get something to eat? I'm root fucking three. How's that? Oh, man, I tell you what, it's frightening now now. It's funny because the guy was talking to, you know, the eyeglass store there.

And he's like, yeah, it's so bad. They're renting out these things, Airbnbs. And the funny part is the North Bergen cops are always in the neighborhood collecting envelopes. I guess they're zoning illegally or whatever he was getting it. I don't know if it's true or not. So I'm just going by what the guy said

and he zoned the store for 26 years. So I kind of believe him. It's funny because I only come up here on Mondays. Don't blame you. And I'm going to be as honest as I can with you. Every Monday is a psychological thriller. Because I go up a different block. every fucking Monday.

Some Mondays I go up 76. Some Mondays I go up 80th. Some Mondays I go up 82nd Street. Whatever lets you go up, I take those rides just to see the town. And in your mind, you're just hearing felonies. Oh, I mug somebody there. Flashbacks.

I snorted Coke in that building. We robbed that place as a kid. You know, I'd come up here with my daughter, and before we're on the Turnpike and we're about to hit, you know, Route 46. And right there it says that, what's that fucking guy?

gas station I robbed. Which one? Which one? Pick one. No, the big one, the one with the football coach. Lombardi. Like, I was driving past, and I probably saying, mercy, I almost robbed. I said, fuck it, leave it.

Well, you robbed the rest area? The Lombardi gas station. They're like on the main turnpike? On the main turn. I think you were doing a small one. No, if you want to expend your envelope, that's where cars come in every... Oh, that one of your word yet. That's crazy.

That's crazy. Actually, speaking of flashbacks, I was showing my oldest son, Jaden, the bank, T.D. Bank, where Gary took down, that led him to prison for the final. The TV Bank was on 69th America. No, it's right by the white castles. If you passed the way, heading down Fabio Avenue, TD Bank there. No shit. Robbed it with a butter knife. Don't you remember?

I thought he robbed it with a fishing line. He might have had that. No. Yeah, the fishing line. He took a deposit bag. Butter knife and a BB gun. So he fucking threw the fishing line down. This is in the.

80s. They weren't hip to fucking North Bergen mentality. You just dropped the bag in there. And that was, this motherfucker went in there like Jacques Cousteau with a fishing line, tagged out the bag, stopped the cab drive on Kennedy Boulevard and said, take me to Kennedy Airport. I should have never bought him that pocket fisherman. No, and then he got caught because he tipped the tip. He gave the guy like $200. Oh, he always rattled it on himself. Yeah, he ran on himself. I get higher as a kite and just, I can't take it to him. I'm calling Bodie. I'm going to turn myself in Jenner, I did it.

You know, he lived on me for a bed and he'd be gone for like four hours. I'm like, where the fuck is he going? What did he do? Then somebody knocking on the door. I'm paranoid. Like, what the fuck? And it's guy like, where the fuck were you? Oh, I was on the roof talking to Bodie and Jenner.

And they're the cops. You know, the cops that busted me three. They got me for a hat trick in one year, three times in the season. But I'll be like, so you were on the roof talking to Bodie, Jenner, and Corey. Those were the dirty detectives. So, yeah, he always ratted on himself. Always got himself into trouble, but his worst one was the TD bank. That's when the bag blew up.

He had to die on him. No, no, no, no. That gets better. Gets better. He's with another kid that's younger. The kid's young and they both been up for two or three days. So they find one kid in the cemetery hiding, you know, behind a tombstone. His mother was the getaway driver.

She died a couple of years later. That's why they didn't even bother prosecuting her. But Gary decided to hijack a truck, right? A car guy in a, and he don't know how. to drive stick, so he crashed it. He crashed it. When you said he had die over him, was it on his face? It's all his wags and things, you know, in the summits.

Those things blow up. I've seen it in movies. I didn't see anyone actually get it. I remember. People blow up with that. Really? You can't take that ink off. No.

Have you gotten hit but the dyes? No. I never robbed the bank. No, that's out of my life. I don't know what else they put dyes in. You never had any sort of dye in anything, but smaller stuff. No. No.

No. But anyway, they found him hiding underneath the car with the blue legs. He was pale. And the only thing you saw was his little skinny legs shaking with the blue dye on it. And the rest is history. He's been locked up since then. That was. Yeah.

He started doing time in 91, got home in 97 for a cup of coffee, like six months, went back into 2012. He was on the podcast. Got back out for six. So out of the last 35 years, he's been locked up all but a year. Yeah. Yeah. now they got him sedated in that northern state by Newark, the airport. That's where he's sitting.

Then he heads for the feds for another 15 years after that. So who's like game over? You know, man, it was crazy like we lived by no rules, you know, like for years I lived by no rules. Cops didn't even bother me. When you said the cops are coming, we got this. You know, we'll hide for a few days. We know all of them anyway.

And they forget, you know. Once I got locked up, I knew one thing. That was not the way. Like, there is nothing that's worth them taking away your freedom. That's awful. Nothing. Nothing. You go and you fucking say, I'm never going to get in this position again.

But I had a friend in L.A. in Colorado, the night I won the amateur contest, December 18, 1991, he got caught. My friend's nephew got caught, stealing a suitcase from Kentucky Fried Chalbush. He went there to get a bucket of chicken and he saw the briefcase. And he took it. He went home and realized he had nothing in there but coupons for chicken. But they caught him on the camera and they went to his house and pulled him out of the bed at 2 in the morning. You know that motherfucker just got out four years ago? Wow.

And I said to him, I go, Doug, he could have done a comedy career. He got arrested 91 and he just got out four fucking years ago. He was like 35 fucking years ago. Yeah, because that charge, he got into a fight in there. He's right in there. Then they let him out. He got robbing the car. Yeah, it's just, it's just how...

But the coupons valid still, though, Coco. Can he still use them? I don't fucking know. I would hope so after he got to get something for that. How don't think he buried the coupons? How's just so funny how somebody could just live their life like that. It's okay. And my buddy, every time he got out, he got a different chick pregnant.

Different fat chick pregnant. So he's a Cuban kid. He loves those fat chicks. The white ones that have retarded. So he bangs those. and they bring them cookies in jail and shit. Only chubby white chicks bring your food in jail. There ain't no hot chicks visiting you.

I never had any visitors when I was locked. Yeah, I had maybe a handful over the three years I was down. But it's just really funny that some people, man, 20 years in prison, get out and world. Do you think the world has changed for us now? I think if you were away and you came out and some people like, where's a pay phone? There ain't no more pay phones.

What do I need to make a call? Can I just get a cab now? Uber. What's Uber? What's an app? What's an app? You know, so I can't imagine even doing something like that.

It's hard. It's, you know, and he was, I guess in jail, he was somebody. He had a clout. That's what happens. And he liked that role. They called him the leprechaun for Christ's sex. They feared him.

He was so feared in prison. They kicked him out of Attica. We talked about this. He bit a pagan's nose off. A pagan who was in life for double murder. He cut his, girls, you know, what out, but cheating on him. So this was no little punk that he took down.

But the guy pressed charges and Gary refused protective custody because the gang wanted to kill him. And they just figured for the safety of the prison system, just ship him up to Auburn. And that's where he was released some years later. But yeah, he bit of Pagan's nose off. And I think that was the hardest. And he had it easy when he was home.

We talked about this years ago. He had everything, beautiful homes. He didn't have a car, but he got. rides everywhere, cell phone, got his teeth fixed for him, hooked him up. Everybody went out of their way, iPads. He just, I don't know, he was just a criminal by nature, I guess. You know, you just feel like that's what's safety. That feels like whom.

You know, no responsibility. You talk shit all day. You brag about the prisons you've been in and what crimes you committed and people. Ooh, you went to Haddock. I could see if he said he went to Notre Dame. I can say if you went to fucking Dachiva Institute and people go, holy shit, M.I.D. You know, but for you to tell people, yeah, I did a nickel in Pelican Bay.

Ooh, really? Oh, my God, how was it? And the guys like telling you, like, it's a fucking country club. And you're sitting there going, what is going on that these people are glamorizing? Yeah, they let you up till midnight. You get free clothes. You get to swim in the summer. and you're like, these are things you do at home.

You know what I'm saying? Like, you just couldn't fucking handle it. That's what it really is. Once you see those people and you see it, they're in a fucking, listen, they couldn't survive in the room. Yeah. Well, I did try to tell Gary when people like, where are you coming from where you've been? I said, just tell him you just graduated Auburn to prison.

But, you know, college, it could go either way, but he didn't understand that. But yeah, he just, I don't know, coax. It's sad because I love Gary growing up. He really became nuts, you know. He did some serious time with some serious people. For example, Mark David Chapman killed John Lennon. He used to serve him up his food. I got a letter handwritten and signed from Mark David Chapman,

wishing Gary Luck in life and preaching the word of God to him. God loves you and he will forgive you. Did he forget? You're still locked up. I guess that doesn't work. But he did some serious time. What's his name from Goodfellers? The one Robert De Niro played in the...

Jimmy Conway. Jimmy Conway. Yeah, and then he hooked up with the Russians. And he did a lot of crazy stuff, Gary. You know, and I think he really became, well, he was always nuts to begin with. Remember when he was young, he did the mushrooms? What was that when you were like a yard?

Doug, I come back with like 20 guns and a bag of mushrooms. I put the mushrooms on top of the dinner table. His mother's going to cook. We're in the room going through the guns, the bullets, and the Coke, and the whole fucking deal. and all I can hear is and I go, Gary, I go, Danny, somebody's eating mushrooms.

We go out of it. The kid's 14 years old. It's like potato chips. He's eating them like chips. Watch him is dead. I didn't know what they were. Yeah, okay. We put the bag down, Danny took the bag,

give me a fucking bag. We went out, we partied, we went to some bar. We come back at four in the morning. The house is black. Even Danny pulls up and goes, I'm not right. There ain't a light on in my fucking house.

We walk upstairs, he turns the light on, and there's Gary on the couch in the dark. I'll never forget this. And he looks up and he goes, what? I ain't tripping. He's 14 years old. Oh, man. Yeah, that, that, you don't come back from that. A couple walks up and down the hill, 46 feet, yeah.

Some vodka, you drink some fucking water from Lincoln School or something like that in the fucking pipes. McKinley, Franklin, those three schools, there's something wrong with the fucking water. Okay? And that's it. A couple years in North Perkins. said we saw i saw people in front of me lose their fucking minds here in the mid-80s this was no joke up and down those streets by your grandmothers that was no joke you could be walking the streets at four and bump into two people looking for a bala vaca like what are you doing

nothing looking for vodka it's four in the fucking morning and you're by 80s i might have been one of them periodically i got to raise my hand down from his grandparents hotel yeah one of those dives down there oh dog And it was another one down a little bit. With the jacuzzi in it, with three rooms connected. Yeah. You were big time when you got the jacuzzi room. I got the jacuzzi room.

And bitches were coming in and was filled with Arab sperm and bubble gun rappers. And you're in there like, yeah, look at me. I'm on Tunley Avenue, an hot tub and shit. Take a picture to put on IG. Get the fuck out of here. Yeah, that was Joe Tobia's spot. Remember Joe Tobia? Yes.

He loved that place. Yeah, I beat him there one time, too. Yeah, well, he got robbed every other day. Yeah. Yeah. He would he deserve. He driving around with the bracelets on, sticking his hand out. He had the car that you couldn't get close to it because I had an alarm.

And it would go right to his page. He used to drive me fucking crazy because he would put the Coke right by the back window. All you had to do was break that window. Oh, he was the worst show off. Yeah. Did this happen in your neighborhood leave by any chance? No. What type of neighborhood did you grow up?

I grew up in a neighborhood where honestly, like, there was like one guy in my high school who has since passed away. but would like, he was a very good dude to me. He grew up down the street from me, but like, would occasionally go to prison for like a year or two. Okay. But no, not much. That's all you got?

One guy in the whole town? I think so. It wasn't, well... Did they grow up in a synagogue? I'm so sorry. This is the only room where that's like, listen, you kind of drop in a fucking pussy place?

Yeah. No, I don't know. There's nothing wrong with that, man. No, I used to joke, like, the police station in my town, they didn't... Like, maybe a couple of... DUIs if you look at the probably from out of town is too.

Yeah. Well, your buddy that goes to jail once a year. You know, it's crazy because when I'm driving in these streets here, we see all these disasters and all this, but there was a lot of good stories in the street. You know, we tell some crazy stories about drugs and all that shit. But we saw some pretty interesting stuff.

That most people don't say it as a, like, people say to me, why don't you drink? You know why? You know why? I'll tell you why. New Year's 1980. I went to Sierra Smith. At the Nassau Coliseum. Oh, gosh.

Somebody. On the way back, his cousin, his uncle got stuck. They had a flat fucking... Mike? Yeah, they got stuck with the Nikki DeLucia. Oh, Nick? Mickey DeLuci. He still has the car washes, I think.

With the fucking tow truck. Okay. But I came back with Mike Denny, the devil. And as we were driving back on County Boulevard, I saw RX7 take a tree out, a pole out by Maregs. It was in the middle,

and the one person was dead and the other girl was yelling. And that lesson alone said... 1980? When they were cut in the roof, the guy goes, vodka bottle or something. I go, God damn it.

And that was it. You know? I never seen nobody OD. That's why I think I kept snort and coke. But if I would have seen somebody purple, like that didn't happen. We lost a lot of people to car accidents over the years. Yeah, but think about it.

Like, I have a friend that she's dirty. She was snort and coke. About five years. ago with four people, they all took a line of coke and it was fentanyl. Oh, gosh. That's a shame. Oh, can you imagine that? No, I can't. We would get killed because one of those sons were going to be somebody's importance. Yeah. People that were running with us. Well, that's... Yeah, people all walks, you know, chief of police's sons, you know, mayors.

Absolutely. You had everybody in those parties. Did that happen? You haven't told a lot of stories about ODs. A couple, but that didn't really seem to happen. No. That's some scares. People paranoid more than anything. I think. I'm dying. How about, well, I don't want to throw out names here because, but we've seen some people get frightened, though, like paranoid and

I wanted to say something, but it's probably better off not. I could start with me. No, I'm not. I saw the, but you didn't see that part. That's the part when I was alone. The part of fucking, you know, if I went to pick up a package and I was driving home, and there's a cop car, let's say I live on

50th street, but there's a cop car parked on 70th street, I look at that cop car and I keep going. It's got nothing to do with me. But after about three hours, it's not enough to smoke. I'm thinking about why that cop car was going. What was he doing down the block? What was he doing down the fucking rock? And that's when it starts. You start hitting the curtains and then fucking

you see a fucking shadow under the door and you're like, you know, and it's, it's a horrible. Listen, it's fucking horrible. I'm going to tell you the worst one up. I fly back here, the Mets are in the 86 World Series. 86 World Series. Okay. I'm coming to see you. I get here and you're a gentleman.

You go, your shit's in the thing. Give me the money next time. I remember that one. I'm going away. He goes, you told me, my house is your house. Stay here until Sunday and catch a plane. I'll pay for the car. I said, fine, you left me money.

What you didn't fucking tell me was that the pipes broke in the house. And there was three feet of fucking water everywhere. So I got this, you know, I got six ounces of Coke. Is that Bassiano's old house? I don't know. It was. It must have been Doron. I was downstairs.

And next to, you know, I'm sleeping on a bed that's floating. Right? Well, that water bed. I was stormed. Then I would walk and then find I couldn't take it no more. It was cold outside. It was like October. And I started snorting.

Oh, I got scared in that place. And your sister came down with beers. She saved my life. And she brought me like a case of beers and a bottle or something. For eight hours, I was snorting. Like, holding a thing and going through water like with a lantern. Swish, We got electrocuted.

Any point. Why would you stay? Because I had no way to go. I was caught up. I was probably in a hotel. He was in a hotel by Sanadian or something. No, I was set to Sheridan by the Meadowlands. I used to go there a lot.

And then Sunday comes. And the car comes as planned. And I get in the car. I got a white. I got the same shirt on. I got a white flannel on. They were big in the 80s. You could wear these as a shirt like I'm doing today.

And I had a white flannel, a hoodie sweatshirt. I'll never forget this. I get the Kennedy. fucking airport. And in those days, they weren't no tubes to the plane. You went outside. And also, they're like, I go to the plane. And there's all these people with winter jacket time.

And I'm walking with the flannel. Steam is coming out of me because I've been snorting coke for three days. And everybody was looking at me like, whoa. I mean, the steam was coming off my shirt. Everybody was like, is he a saint? And I got on the plane and dog, I was sitting down two minutes. I had to start snorting Coke. I got up and down while people walking in, I was walking to the back.

Yes, that was common back then. I did. I got up 10 times before the plane was landed. Took off or landed? Before it took off. I was already coked up to the gazelles from being up for three days. And I got so high. Couldn't get up anymore.

I couldn't get up anymore. I couldn't get up anymore. So I was putting the blanket all my head and putting the tray down and doing the coke, snort it and then pop back up again. Like nothing happened. And people were like, You're doing. That doesn't sound like a really good, like hiding trick.

It sounds like you're snort and coke. It was the worst day of my life. You don't care after a certain point. You care, but you don't care. But as long as you get that blast, you'll do anything and worry about it after the blast. I always took up like six ounces of Coke. By the time I got to Denver, because I had a collecting flight, I had to go Denver to Aspen.

So they leave you in Denver. Now, let me tell you some, in those days, nine of the ten times you're getting stuck in Denver if it snows. Right. It was just the way it was. And you accepted it. But in those days, left the airport open all night.

The bars, they opened until three in the first time. I thought I had to watch. So I would put my shit in one of those lockers. And I still remember putting like four ounces of coke in there. I spent $300 taking the coke out of a locker. You can only open on once.

I would, I'm only going to take one more gram. And I would take another gram and then snort and then have to, let me get some quarters at the bar and then go. It was a nightmare. I must have done. ounce at the hotel and spent 300 quarters get the Coke in the airport out of the fucking the locker just because I didn't want the four ounces on me so I would put them in a locker

like what's that movie get shorty yeah surety then I would go back pull it out snort it and put it back in the locker did they have cameras back then no they had him but if anyone was watching you going back and forth to the locker banks had cameras certain parts of the airport might have but the common spots now I still remember meeting the dude that was the record industry. We started talking. I go, you want to do a blast? Me and this motherfucker got

fucked up at the airport. Like you get on a plane and you couldn't even sit still. You couldn't stop blinking. You got an hour flight and you're fucking so cooked up. You're fucking blinking and shit. It was insane. Was it normal to see it at the airport? That seems

scary. Talk, you would see it everywhere. Everywhere. It was the 80s, Lee. In New York. Like what you see once a month a guy nodding. Right. you saw all the way up to 42nd Street and then it cleaned up a little bit once you got up about 125 ooh everybody was out in full-factor

everybody was doing a nod then they pop up like nothing happen and they start running and they start running and they were everywhere and forget going into the Bronx the Yankee Stadium they were really low it was a fucking planet of them around the stadium and all these places

where people paying the high dollar in the village the ABC Alphabet City? Right. That was Zombo time. I think in my whole

years of getting partying, I think I wanted that twice to get Coke and it was not my cup of tea. Yeah, we spent a lot of time in that city

and we didn't care. We go into the Dominican areas like it was nothing two o'clock. But if they knew you, you were kind of protected. Yeah, you didn't bother you. But you're saying alphabet

like the lower east side was bad. Oh. Yeah. Oh, yeah. They called, little stuff. Alphabet City. They made a movie. Yeah, it was pretty good. With that Italian kid and the good looking girl.

Vincent Spano and the good looking girl. There you go. You got to remember, Lee, this is the 80s. Things were different. You had all the dirty cops going on and you got away with a lot of shit, you know. But when you were in the city that the Dominicans, they didn't bother you. They wanted business. No, because they bother you. All these cars are white kids in the suburbs. Spending big money. Right. That's why I'm just a...

If I shake you down, why I take you down, why take you? money, you're going to tell all your friends. Now you're going to blow it for us. Right. If they find somebody out there robbing people, they were fucked them up. Now, they, when I came back in 1993, it was very interesting because in the 80s, it was all outdoor. We had a place on 135th in Amsterdam.

Remember? The Colombian disco downstairs where they had roost fights and shit, roosters. They sold you coke, but it was in the disco. But if something happened in the disco, you met him outside. When I came back 10 years later, everything moved inside. Buildings. And it moved to a building on 178th. right by when you get off the George Washington Bridge

instead of making the right. You make a left. Dog, it was planned perfect. Yeah. Even the corners, the way you had to turn, everything was perfect. You got off, you made a left, you made another right,

and then the street actually went around, and then it put your right back on that street to shoot right back on, but you didn't go back on because they were watching you come in. Yep. So what you did was you got weed and coke, and now you went down west side highway.

Right. You stopped on 57 to get yourself a chili dog. Because if you went right back over, they knew what you were doing. You come on the Lincoln Tunnel. Got it. They would wait for you sometimes in Fort Lee, though. Yeah.

They'd wait for you. One time we got, you got hit there, we got hit. Nobody had a license. Oh, you had a bicycle. They were going to take his bicycle.

They had George out there. We, we came, you can take his bicycle. We got a flag coming back in 86. I'm not going to drop the names. But nobody had a license. It was a rent-the-car.

We had like three keys in the fucking car, drinking open containers. And we thought we're, all done. One of them was crying. I ain't going to say who. But for some reason, a guy just said, just get back to North Bergen. We just looked at each other like, this just didn't happen. They just let us go like that. I mean, open containers, no license, rent a car. We had a scale in the back. I don't know how many, it was a decent amount, at least a key or two. But it was always how you listen. The city in the 80s was raw. I got pulled over many things.

I got pulled over with Lisa Gallo on time. It was hysterical. Me, Lisa Gallo. a baseball player from West New York. Oh, my God. And it was how you were... Those guys in the city, they know what you're doing. Right. They see a jersey play. You're on...

You're on, what's that street? On Tuesdays in the Bronx? You're on Webster Avenue. What the fuck are you doing on Webster Avenue? What are you coming to see your grandmother? Really? Asked Elise? Really?

What the fuck are you doing here? Oh, God. And if you fucked around with them, they take your shit. Unless you were a fucking rich, white dude, that's a geek, like, you know, why are you opening up? Like, once you start playing that, you don't do it, once you play lawyer. You have no permission to my, uh, whatever.

Really? Get the fuck out of the car. Now we're taking the car because you live in Connecticut. You went over state lines. So that's what would happen. If they caught you coming back from Fort Lee. It took your car. Yeah.

If you were a dick. If you were a dick. Yeah. But how many times the cop pulls or something you're like, officer, what do you get your dick sucked around here? And right away, kids, what the fuck? is wrong. We came up here to get out dick. He's not even thinking about drugs.

Where the hook is at? And they were looking and go, you crazy motherfuckers. Give me your license. All right. Get the fuck out of here. Go back to your little punk-ass fucking white neighbors. If I see you up here again, I'm going to beat the living fuck out of you. And that's it. Now go over there. Now it's the fucking

excuse me, can you step out of the car? But even then, we always had Hudson County. You always had that one name to go. You drop a name? Yeah, it was always everybody dropped the same name. Get out of the car, okay? The right is they're putting the cops on you.

The neck with the house. By the way. Look in this pocket here. I have a police card from Carmine Balzano. Who? Carmen Balzano, no big deal. He's not going to do that. You don't come on Balzano?

No, I just go to his house every day for lunch and dinner. All right, give me the card. And it would say extend all courtesies. Yeah, yeah. And then you just went on. What extent, though? What extent? And then the next day, you'd be walking the school and also in that cop car right up right on you.

Coco, come here. You gave some fucking cop my name. I'll fucking kill you. You know, because they knew they got the call that night. It was crazy. You always knew that if you dropped the name, listen, if they caught you with a body and a kilo, it's not going to happen. You're not going to say, Vinny asked you.

No, what the fuck is wrong? Even Vinny's going to go to a police station and smack you. for dropping his name. You got a kilo back there and a body. You don't know nobody. You know Sy Lawrence. Yep. You know Joe Marco.

You know fucking this guy. Oh, they were nuts to Marco's fucking the day. And that was the thing. Everybody knew everybody. You get bustling up. You know how many times I got pulled over on Kennedy Boulevard doing 90 with Coke? And they would just look at you. Louis Stitzer got me like three times in the night.

Come on, guy. Come on. Just leaning to you again. And you were in a different car. What happened to the Trans Am? I still remember going over there with Ray going 93. in the afternoon to get Coke and coming back and seeing George

walking back on the bridge and that's pulling over on the bridge. Oh, you were one of them? Yeah, get in the fucking clock. They caught him every time. Did you do the TV thing? Louis? He taught me,

George taught me that if I went to Safeway on the other side of the bridge and you went an 801 in the morning, 8.30. You were good? I walked in with a suitcase. Like I was a businessman and a suit. I had $3 on my pocket. There was no business, okay?

My business was thievery. I would walk in there and they would have like the shit on the shelves. But if you looked up, they had the whole cases. So I would stick a whole case of aspirin, vaginal, cream, because that's what they paid top dollar for in Harlem. All those Puerto Ricans get fucking dirty vaginas. They're getting dick when they're 14, 15. You're out there doing your thing, though.

A yeast infection is in your fucking future. And I would take that up and walk out of there. And sometimes I wouldn't even have the money for the money. I would just get on that thing with my suitcase and my little suit sweating 90 degrees in the morning with humidity and I would walk over bridge, find the Dominican grocery store, sell them the stuff if they gave me 40 bucks. At least I got the day started.

I go get a 20, and now I had 20 to eat something on the way down Manhattan until I bump into another purse or whatever fuck. That was the day. Yeah. What was it? When you think about it, it's kind of sad to think about that. Your whole day, that's all you were.

wanted to do is get high in... From 83 to 85, living in North Bergen, was just that. It was just that. It was going to Sharp Midtown Lounge at 11.30, and by the time you left that one, somebody came up to you and said, hey, bro. Where can you get a quarter of a ounce ago right now?

Let's go to Harlem. It's one o'clock. Yeah. Now, you're in Harlem at one o'clock. Guess what that means? On the way back, you're doing little bumps. Remember Duncan Projects, too? Duncan Projects, then we come to the midtown,

or we stay in the city. Like, what, 21, 20. The rooftop. And you're in the city at fucking 20 afternoon drinking cocktails. Where's my life going?

Like when I think of that shit that makes me depressed. I'm sad when I look back at I spent the 80s was a blur. I remember shit but it seemed like it came and went. I'm happy it happened to open our eyes. Yeah. But if I could avoid it

with what I know now I would avoid. I was just driving up here. I dropped my daughter off. I drove up by the galaxy. The galaxy was like it was a disco in the 80s because you all ended up there for Coke or a chick or you ended up at the grinder.

They were like... The human grinder. They were like the... Studio 54 was the grinder. And... The rooftop was fun, too. And the rooftop was... The other fucking building.

That's how it was to us. Like when somebody invited you there for an after party at 3 in the morning, shit. You were fucking going in there. Well, we weren't done. I mean, we even came back from the rooftop up to Amos's in Guttenberg.

Yeah. And he'd open up at like 6 o'clock, 6.30. And then the Midtown would open up. It was like a, he used to call me what, Moonday. You see me Friday and I show up again. Mundi was the drug dealer that was across the street from the board of education. He'd be gone for days at a time. Oh, my God.

The gas station I used to rob with Rego, that we always talk about in the stories, is the Amico across from the board of it. And he was very good friends with North Perrigan as a whole. He made donations. and I started robin. And then he went to Mr. Asklees. Mr. Asklees talked to us. And one day I was talking to him to Georgie,

and we're talking about Coke. And George goes, listen, I don't know where you're buying your Coke from, but the best Coke is right here because he was bringing up Coke and fruit trucks. Right there, right there on that corner. You see the fruit truck, come on. And you see 50 Cubans out there,

unloading oranges. Come on, man. Come on, man. And the guy's name was Mundi. I remember him, but what was the mug's name? He came at Joe and Mary's in the early 80s, like 82. What mug? The Cuban guy that used to come in there at Locke or something like that.

Locco lives in Texas now. Christy Lorenzo. He come and get you all high and then get you going. And next thing you know, you're hitting him up. Motherfucker, he would give you coke out of a leaf. Yeah, he would keep in the leaf. I remember that was real shit, yeah. That was fucking scary.

Locke. You're 20 years old, 21. You're leaving, you're leaving your house. You just told your grandma, grandma, grandma, I'm taking you the doctor tomorrow at the morning. here at 9.30. 9.30, you're in a hotel with me and 18 other guerrillas looking at two broads there. There's two broads sitting there.

And every guy's like, I'm going to kill that bitch. And now it's 9 in the morning. Now you're waiting for six people to leave. But ain't nobody leaving. It's 11 in the morning. And then somebody goes, I just made a call. We've got a half ounce on the way. Wash your faces.

Wash your feet. Do what you need to do. We're in here for the remainder. I've spent many a morning, well, it started off as a night in your... grandfather's house in the basement watching game film over and over again slowing it down rewind it you see here's the block here that opened up then we scored the I mean it was like being in game I was like a football camp

or something like that yeah yeah you know what I'm talking about I don't want to bring up names but yeah I've watched a lot of game film and that's fucking lunatic I grew up in this Cuban world I grew up in this Cuban fucking crazy world that I'm proud of I don't give a fuck they were crazy and I learned a lot from them. There were revolutionaries, the way they thought was different.

Everything. And my mom dies and, like, you know, I knew these guys, but I had lost contact with them. One night this fucking lunatic comes up and he goes, listen, this Cuban dude has been asking about you.

His name is Malagamba. Malagamba. You made me meet him on 60th Street by Park App. Right off, it was off the beaten path. Wasn't there a bar there? A bar there?

A bar there. Yeah, they hustled out of that. Yeah, I remember that place. And I always knew that dude was a weird. I mean, he was very good friends with my mother, Ma Gama. He was good friends of my real dad, the whole fucking deal. But recently, I found that that guy was like the leader. Really?

Alpha 66. Remember, you were like, he's a dangerous dude. I always knew him and his brother were fucking ferociously dangerous. A lot of people were. They just came off his gentleman, but don't cross him, you know. And they were always kind, generous, buy your drinks. Yeah, don't worry. You get me in a week.

See you in a week. You know, they were, I don't know, things were different. Again, I'm like you. I had a lot of fun, but I wish I could have done things differently. But again, I always say if I did one thing different, I would have never met my wife. I would have never had my family. So I don't know.

You know what I'm saying? If I stayed in the Army, for example, where I stayed in California. All these motherfuckers, what happened with you in the Army? Tell them coming out of North Bergen so people know. Tell them your biggest fucking star in the Army. Well, I was soldier the year for the 101st day. born. A kid from

North Bergen was soldier of the fucking year. And a year later he was snorting coke with us at Corky's till 6th of the morning with his medals on and shit snort and coke off the metals. He didn't give a fuck, Jack. Well, you know what? The first time I actually did

was exposed to cocaine was in Panama on a training exercise. They let us send to Cologne, which is a danger, Roberto Durant's place. And I taxi driver to I was with the oldest soldiers, and they got some Coke for like 50 bucks. You got like a fucking, the best out.

And that's the first time. And I kind of liked it, but it was different. It was real. It didn't make you scared. It didn't do. Made you nice, you know? And then as I came home, North Bergen, one thing led to it. And you remember the first time you ever got paranoid?

Like, you didn't get paranoid right away. No, no, no. It's like gambling. You win money in the beginning. Everything's fine. get a heart on, a pussy smells great. Everything's fine. Then out of nowhere.

The first 10 times you're getting the dick suck, and then you start eating pussy, but looking out of window, like, let me eat your pussy right here. Because I got to see if they come to the garage. That's when you know. I remember the first time. And then it just builds.

It builds. And I would quit because of the paranoia. Oh, that was awful. But the paranoia grows. Like, it just keeps growing. Every so often I would get lucky and not get paranoid, but nine out of ten times. I couldn't imagine doing it.

First time, you, it was 1984 quintessence. I think it was the same night I met, Gina, maybe. Philpah, Danta, Paris. We all hanging out. And we partied at my house. I was sitting in the park in a lot of quintessence. And they're all ready to go.

And just something came over me. I'm like, I'll be with you in a second. I couldn't explain it. Couldn't get out of the car. 15 minutes later, they're knocking on the window. What's got? I don't know, fellas. I don't know what happened.

This is an awful experience. I'm worried. I'm scared of what? I had to go in and chug along like six drinks to come, you know how the drinking brings you down. But I remember the first time, quintessence, everybody thought I was, what do you mean? You're scared. Why are you scared? This is great.

I said, I don't know how to explain it. I'm worried. I'm anxious. I think people are looking for me. And obviously, they were because they knocked on the window. But that was the first time. It was a few times, like I said, that I avoided it. probably too much drink and we did the volumes too to help a little bit.

Remember we go to the city, put up the little signal for the Vee, but... You got 12 for, you got eight for $10 back at the old McSorley's alehouse. What the hell was in that weed you gave me? That's fucking things like edible. Christa. Yeah, that's good shit. What is that? It's pretty funny because I never got paranoid before.

Now, I know why you look the way you do all the time. And then... This is the dungeon. This is a dungeon. And then in 85, I get clean. And I stay clean for about a year and a half. 16 months, I stay clean. I got a call from this fucking hump.

Hey, what are you doing? Nothing. I'm coming out your way. I'm coming to ask me to see you. That's when you came up to the house. The general, you were watching a general's house, right? No Mass Village. That was fucking insane.

That was a cool joint day. You know how much that house cost today? For a month to rent it? A hundred thousand a month to rent it for the month. I can see that, yeah. And they redid it. I mean, it was nice back then. It was nice back then.

You had that little trailer. Yeah, you had the little trailer off to the side. I remember we went up spending most of the time in that little, we had access to this huge palace. And here we are in a little trailer. There's a little room. Four of us in a little tiny bedroom with a TV, a little tiny bathroom, a little tiny closet.

But once the guy left, I lived in the house, like wearing his room. But that night, though, I put his jewelry on this shit. That night, for some reason, we felt safer in a little confined. You always did because the house was big. It was too big. You'd be hearing shit. You heard shit. And then you walked around.

the house. But I remember you left me like an ounce of coat and said start slinging motherfuck and that's what I was telling the story. Everything fell into the guns and it just became you but we left there with guns too. We got a three or four pistol right. And they were like, can we buy one of these? Yeah, you can buy all. Buy them. Not only what were we able to buy him, but ship them. Dude, no, we took them right on LAX. And they gave you a box. A little box. 50 bucks. I'm like, here we are pulling guns out of LAX. Like four of them. Hey, we got guns. Oh, no, you can't bring them on unless you have a box. So we can actually bring these things back?

Because we had to rent the car. We left snowmast. We started tripping on the mushrooms that you gave us. I said this earlier to the fellas. Rent the car, we didn't know where the windshield wipers were. And then it starts pouring out. And we're laughing. We can't find the thing.

And Rousseau is driving. And it seems like the car was hanging over the cliff. From, you know, we hallucinating and everything. Then we wound up going to Vegas, stopped at Death Valley watching our Reeboks melt in the fucking blacktop. I do remember that. Then we went to L.A., stopped to see my car's it, and checked in those guns. This was 85, maybe, 86. 80?

Then you came back there. Then I got a call one then. This is the best story of. I'm selling cars. I had not gotten arrested yet. I had not gotten arrested yet. and I got to call it the car dealership. They're like Joey Diaz, Coco Diaz, and they're like, Coco.

Pick up the phone, it's Danny. It's either Danny or Rousseau. And you guys are like, no, let's get back to the basics. The original story goes like this. I got a call for my girlfriend. I don't even live with. She lives with her parents. My girlfriend calls me at 8 in the fucking morning in this house that George moved

into later on. And I answer the phone. I'm like, what's going on? And she goes, hey, man, do you know what? Mrs. Sabatino? I go, yeah. I thought she died. What happened?

She called here looking for her son, Anthony. I go, that's funny. And no, I go, really, Anthony? I called Ms. Sabatino back. She's like, yes, they were out all weekend, and they left Sunday night. It's Thursday, and I'm concerned with them. Doug, I don't hang up the phone.

I go to sell a car and bling. Coco, Diaz. Hello? Listen, it's us. We're on our way. We're in Vegas or some shit. We'll be at the airport at 9.30. I fucking clean up a car, the best car on the lot.

I shoot to the fucking airport. I get to the airport. Everybody knows me. Three people. Go, go, go, go. Yeah, Coco. What? What happens?

Your buddies were here. They tipped their fucking joint. Oh, at the airport. These guys are like, yeah, your buddies were here. And I'm like, oh my God. We got everybody messed up. The pilot was even high. Go to shotgun.

The best strip club in Colorado in Denver. Shotgun. Willys, look it up. Somebody Google it. That's a bat. There's two of them. There's the Steakhouse one and there's that one. You motherfuckers, again, the dudes at the airport, the shuttle people outside.

It's 9.30. Like, your boys are over at Shotgun Willie. Shotgun Willys. Shotgun Willys, okay? I take the fucking rental car, you know, whatever the fuck it is, the loner. I go in a thing and there's 400 people on a Tuesday night. these place is packed. There's women on every circle

and there's 20 guys around them. They're all money. I'm like, again, I go up to the door guy and go, listen, I'm looking for three of my buddies from Jersey. Table number four. They were over there. They had the thing closed off. They're fucking tipping the waitresses.

The girl is dancing. They're having their own. Russo had a smile face-to-face. I never forget that. Re-box. Everybody. And they gave me like a bag to take into the bathroom. It was a chunk.

It felt like one of those things that you grab and work on your wrist. It was just a chunk of cocaine. And I remember I couldn't crash it. I'm like, Danny, what is? He's like, just break it off. We started breaking it off. Amen.

And then they threw us out of there. They threw the lights. And the girls wanted us to stay. These guys were like, and the girls, like, let them stay. And they're like, no, we got to go. So we went somewhere. And then we went back to the hotel room. We snorted Coke to like six in the morning.

And when we hit it in the bathroom toilet paper thing. The toilet paper that's in the wall when you're going to the bathroom? No, in the bathroom in your. Oh, okay. where you take the thing out, they hit it in there. And about 9 o'clock, they're like, all right, we got to go. I'm like, where are you going? They're going. We got to take a plane back to Vegas, some shit.

No, we drove to Vegas. We had to rent the car. If this is the same trip. Yeah, and then Danny busted, he busted my balls about that 17 grams for years. You still owe me money, man. I don't know if it's that much. I probably owed it to somebody else, too. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Was it 17? You started with an ounce, and we did all that, and there was 17 grams. So I'll waive the interest, I'll take 15. No, it was fucking Russo. Russo was like, you owe me the money. Okay, I take that fucking rock or Coke. And I get in my rental car. And I go, you know what?

I'm going to snort this whole fucking thing. So I find the hotel. I get it. I go into a liquor store. I buy like a bottle of vodka and like a case of beers. It's fucking one in the afternoon. I was burned at that time. It's 25.

Had nothing going on. I was selling cars and I had this great girlfriend. I call her up. And I go, hey, I got something. Because she used to snore with me. I got something. Meet me at this hotel in Denver. And she goes, okay.

But then she something happened. I called her from the room and she goes, you know what? I can't go. My father, I got to do something. My father at 8.30. I go, all right, fine. Even more coke for me. So there's a window.

I got the beers and I got the vodka. And I'm just making like little drinks and drinking. And also I start snorting, the paranoia goes right through me. I start looking out the window and I see a car. And the car would stop and then it would take off and another car would come up. It's the feds. And now I'm hearing zh, zh, zh, so I'm thinking they're drilling to the walls

to put like a wire in there to see what I'm doing in there. So there's a big tub and I fill it up in the shower with water, cold water. And there's a big Coke rock. and I take the Coke rock and I throw it in the water to see how long it's going to take the melt

in case they kick my door down I can just throw the Coke in the water to melt. This glee, I'm out of my mind. You time it? Ow, I just throw it in. You see it dissolved. You know?

And I'm sitting there in this water One Mississippi. And this water is sitting there for fucking the whole time. And I'm snorting. I'm trying to jerk off but I'm too paranoid and I'm looking out the window.

And finally I go, fuck this. I take that whole bag of Coke. And I throw it in the fucking toilet. And I throw the thing and I take like the baggie and I eat it in case the feds are coming. But then after about two hours, I realized, I wish I didn't do that. I realized there's no feds. There's nothing.

Now I'm sitting in the toilet and I'm just looking at the toilet and I'm taking all the brown pieces. I sat there for like six hours because the Coke goes to the side of it. Oh, God. And like when a warded way, I sat there. But this would get better. And you didn't clean your toilet very often. No, no, this is a hotel. This is a hotel.

This is a whole tub toilet. It was brand new. Even better. So now I'm sitting there and I'm Jones and I'm like, what the fuck? What did I do? And I drank all the beers, all the vodka's, and there's really no water in those days. There's no bottle of water. But there was a tank of the pitcher that I filled up with water.

I forgot I threw the Coke rock in there. Oh, no. So I throw like a two gram Coke rock in there and a little bit of water. But I forget all about it. And I'm sitting there. I'm like, fuck, I wish I had Coke. And I start drinking. water. Oh, no.

I'm like, oh, that's right. And all of a sudden, I lost my voice, right? It's fucked up my... It's like Donald Duck. And she kept calling me, yeah. And I'm like, what's going on with you? Did you finish it? I'm like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I'm... Dog, it was horrible. And when I went

downstairs, the reason why people were stopping, because it was an ATM machine. And that's why people were stopping, taking their money on going. I thought it was the Fed switching cars. So you throw out all their coke. 11 grams at least. And then I put like...

I've done shit like that. I did like nine diluted in my nose. And that's when you know like one time I got so paranoid. I called the cops on myself. We all did that one. When the cops even told me, listen, put the bag away. Like after the third time, it's three hours. Like, Joey.

You should make like a game like cocaine bingo. Like what do you everyone be? You called the cops on yourself. You threw the bag away. Hangman. This is crazy. Hang man. You have no idea, Lee, how crazy this whole,

I'm in the fucking halfway house. I don't know. I get one of those furloughs for the weekend. And my godfather, my in-law, my father-in-law puts me in the trail outside, which is a $100,000 trailer. TV showers at the time. He just bought it.

And I'm out there. I bring it. It was like an eight-ball, maybe like a quarter. But it was really good. So rehab was working at this point. No, I'm in the halfway house from prison. And I'll never forget, I'm snorting coke in there. And it's sometimes when you open the bendle, the coke just flies out of the bag.

Like, hip, hip, hooray. And now I'm walking all over. And at one point, I'm looking out the window. I'm crawled up without a weapon. And I'm actually watching my guys get on the rope and slide down with white jackets so they can mix into the snow with the machine guns. Like James Bond? Yeah, and I'm like, I'm going to die.

Russia with love, right? You know, then they switched to Coke overly. So by 87 now, it started having a little speed. That's why the shit he got in Panama with the ether, with the walls and everything. Right, that was clean. It was priceless. That's shit you can't get normal.

No, they stop that. Now you do coke, you might lose six inches the next thing. You don't know what they're putting in that shit, you know. What does speed make you do? Like, how does that add to coke? It makes you more paranoid? It makes you stay up longer, too. It makes you want more.

Yeah, everything's changed. Especially if you snort that shit. No, I only, I did that only one time on accident thinking it was coke. And I was up for like 72 hours off of one little line. I thought I was able to sleep. Two hours later, I pop up like a zombie. And I did it on accident because I never wanted to be like that. I always made fun of them.

They got the teeth. They got this. They look like shit. But I did it. Saturday morning, like 8 o'clock in the morning. I was up to Mike Monday night. maybe. Off of one little blast.

So, yeah. I'm like, none of that shit. No, that's garbage. I've never done that or all. I don't know if I think of. I don't do it. I don't do the pills.

Not that I know of. Who knows? It's possible, but I don't think so. I've heard that's great. I've wanted to try that for it. But it's like none of it. You didn't have fucking Austin.

I did? Yeah, Carly gave it to you. What an average? Oh shit. I had no piece and you straightened right out. Remember you were fucked up from the edible and the tequila? I remember the edible and the tea.

I don't remember the edible. She gave, yeah, she gave matter of all. And you wouldn't shut the fuck up about tacos and what times the taco place closed? What time the time the dog? All you talk about is tacos, but I had no idea. I forgot about that. Don't the kids in college use that to stay up and study? Well, you're supposed to help you focus.

Focus, right. But yeah, I think people do it as like, they just do it as like a way to. Now it's just to get high. Study. No. That's Bluetooth. You know, yesterday. No, I didn't say hard.

I say high. Herverts. I'm sorry. Herverts. You got confused. I know you feel this sometimes. I want you to tell your story, right, real quick. Okay.

The three-minute story. All right. Yesterday, I drive my wife. My wife and my daughter left at 9 to a sawpaw game that's 1115. I leave about 10. I get there about 10.30. They're warming up the girls on this side and all the parents over here. And I'm watching this game here.

There's a game here and there's a game there. I'm on a corner watching this game. You know, I'm high. The sun's out. It's beautiful. Yes, but it's cold. I'm just sitting there and watching this game, and I'm looking at the girls warming up,

and I'm seeing my daughter catching, and I look over at my wife, and I look again at the field, and I found, hey, Terry, come here for a second. I go, let me ask you a question. I go, when we lived in Hollywood, and at night we'd go out, and we'd walk home,

and there were those palm readers. If we went into one of those palm readers, you think he would have told us, hey, in 30 years, you and this schmuck? are going to have a daughter that plays sophomore and you're going to go to her games. We and my wife looked at each other.

We're like, that would have. Like, nobody prepares you for this. And that's why I love the way I grew up because now I have this peace. I already had that. I told mercy to that. If we all had jobs at 8 in the morning, I'd hate that house because then we all fighting each other

at 8 in the morning. If I had water, the toothbrush, who's not going to use this, who's going to use that? I go, it's such a different life from what I was exposed to. But nobody, dog, there's no fucking way. I even told her, I go, tell me the truth. In 2005, you think we're going to ever have a kid?

She's like, no. I gave up on you when I turned 40. She goes, I just didn't want to tell you because I didn't want to get tested to see which one of it was, it was the weekend. And then we all, you know, because once you take those tests and women take that shit serious, like, you don't have no sperm.

You can't smoke pot. You can't eat carrots. What the fuck are you talking about? Yeah, like they'll say you're a loser and shit, but she goes, no. I didn't want to do that with you. I just thought we'd fucking live without a kid. And then the kid came, you know,

so obviously we're both okay, but you don't see any of this. There's no way. And I wanted this. But there was no fucking way. No way. When George would tell me about his life, I go, good luck, buddy.

Swapaw, all. Two daughters? Wow. It's never going to happen for me. And now I'm going to softball games like a half of fags sitting there. I'm playing softball, so it's a little. I'm playing softball. Oh, you're still playing?

Yeah, I got invited to play a little bit. Don't do it. Get hurt. Everybody, Jimmy's quarantined, my neighbor, did it for one. My wife's begging me not that it'll be honest with you. No, no, no. You know why? It takes you at this age, it takes you 20 minutes to really get warmed up.

Like, really get warmed up. You know what's going to happen one day? you're going to go to two games, you're going to hit a home run, you're going to steal third base, and you're going to feel like you're Johnny Bananas, and you're going to go down, and you're not going to warm up,

and you're just going to swing the bat, and all of a sudden, it's like, we just rip your, a muscle that couldn't rip if you fucking wanted it to rip. That's what happened. I tell you, I was telling the story earlier in 2019. I was up in North Bergen, and charity softball thing for Amorosa and all them,

and it's like series of games, six, seven games to win it all. It's like the last game. I'm catching. I think we're winning a little bit by two or three runs. I got the ball in my hand. This guy's just barely around in third base, right? And he's built like a college football player.

250, six something. I'm casually sitting there ready to slap it easy. You know, tag him he's out. And he ain't stomping. When I said, oh shit, he ain't slowing down. I tried to dig in a little bit to ground myself. Too late. lifting me off of my feet.

I flew back six foot, busted my ribs. I held on to the ball, though. And everybody's like, what are you doing? He's an old man. He's an old man. He said, I'm sorry, sir. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

It's so good. It's so part of the game, you know. And you can't get mad at them. No, he's doing the same thing we would have done. Yeah, but that's what I stopped doing. With two lines of coconut. But I did lead off the next inning and hit a nice double. I ripped it and I looked at it.

You know, it's just we're at an age now where you've got to be careful. Along the way. You don't want to be that. I'm not at a bed putting my socks on. I hurt sometimes. You know, at 6 in the morning, I stretch before I put my socks on. You're still lifting.

I'm still in a gym, yeah, but it's still, you know, I'm in a gym. I still do all right, you know, but I know what you're talking about. You got great color. You know, you look good. I know you still love your cocktail. There ain't nothing wrong with that.

No, we like a happy hour. Jamie and I don't go out with the fellas. It's always me and Jamie. We like day drinking. You know, we don't get stupid. By 8 o'clock a night, We're lights out. We're sleeping already.

Yeah, we don't stay up. What was the last time you did the line of coat? It's been a bad. I ain't going to say it's been like years and years. Ten years? No, probably about two years. But no, no, no. In all defense, I held out and I admitted it to my wife

because she looked at me silly and she goes, did you party with those fellas last night? And I'm in a swim and pool at 6 o'clock in the morning. And I didn't even do a lot. but I just couldn't sleep. I felt guilty. But since I've been married for 26 years almost, if I'd done it five times in 26 years, that's a lot.

But the last time was a couple of years ago, and I felt awful if I did one or two, and then, you know, I'd do it on the key. We used to do railroad tracks. Then we said, you've got to do it like a gentleman. You've got to put it on the key, walk away. One of them will walk away. But then you do another one of them, another one of them.

But yeah, it was a, couple of years ago, and I felt like shit, I felt guilty, but I did cop out. I did rattle myself. That's what else you could do? Well, she was looking at me. I didn't want to lie to us. I can't do it. Like, it's 19 years this November. Good feel. And then next year will be 20 and I'm petrified because, you know what I realized? I realized I did this much damage since I was 44. Can you imagine if I had the balls and stopped when I was 30. I had more years

to accomplish my goals. Yeah. I did what I did in a short period. Your comedy career took off when you got straight to. Everything. Everything. Everything took off.

You know what I'm saying? So I know I can eat a mushroom, which I haven't eaten in nine months. We ate a happy pill and fucking half a muscle life which I eat for my knee because I'm having surgery.

Understand. But I'll tell you what, a couple weeks ago I did the codeine's on my knee, puked them still in the door. Oh, yeah. That, yeah. All those things

get old, like they get old, you know. And now I have my reefer. The reefer. That's not reefer. That's fucking whatever that is. That's, that's morphine. And I've had people write me privately and go, Joe, why do you still smoke? The reason I still smoke is because it lets me know I picked up something from the past.

That's it. I had a lot of bad habits. We all did. A lot of bad habits. Not just you. We all did. The only bad habit I took into this was marijuana. and edible.

And I'm okay with it. Everybody knows in this room, I got to eat 2,000 milligrams. I don't know how to fuck you do that. Because we grew up here. We drank lots of river water. Especially with those stairs. We pissed on the dog.

You know, we did things. You know what I'm saying? Lila. Sweetheart, stop pissing on the dog. Oh, my God. But darling, you keep hitting him in the eye. I know. I'm much to like.

I remember coming out of prison. Getting a hot DUI, then put me back in the halfway house and them going, Joey, the next time we catch you. you, they're going to give you six years. Guess what I do after the door locked. I did a line of coke.

That's youth. That's stupidity. That's a fucking jerk off. Yeah. I didn't have any value in my life. You want to throw me in jail, throw me a fucking jail. There's a woman. There's a limit.

And then I just said that was it. One day you can't keep throwing your life. And then it's, bro, it got in a way of comedy. Oh, yeah. Towards the end, what I did at the end at the improv, when I got the Ontario Improv and I'm settled in, it's 11 o'clock, and I'm like, man, I wish I could go for a wine of Coke.

And I drove all the way back to Hollywood. I got a gram a Coke, and I drove all the way back to stay up to 8 in the morning, and I miss radio. Oh, the interview. Usually for a fucking year. And I had to talk to them and tell them what happened, you know, from the heart.

And that's why. Now, listen, there's been a couple times, like in the last 18 years, there's maybe been twice where I could go, hey, that chick is pretty odd. She's giving up that monkey if you put a rock of coke on it. And I'm like, you know what? But I'm not going back to where I was.

None of this is worth it. No, it's not worth it. It's not worth it. And now you don't even know what you're doing. We get a little crazy here. We drink a cocktail. Let's go to the city. And then all of a sudden there's some fucking guy walks in

that looks like the mayor. Shalami, whatever his fucking name is. I got cocaine. You give them a grand hundred and it's got fentanyl all in it. And now three people die. We can't. It's not the same. No, and, you know, even my friends, and they still party pretty often without mentioning again names.

And I worry for him. I like, guys, oh, we know the guy. We know the guy. We know the guy. Like, does he know the guy that knows the guy? You know, they buy the test strips. If I have to test cocaine. Yeah.

You have a problem. Can you imagine us picking up an ounce of four in the morning and now? We got to test it. We're going to do that cocaine. Nobody can whip out that test. There's a little chicken there with straight tithies, filled with milk. You know what I'm saying? There's something.

Well, let's take a breather real quick. And we'll be right back, Jack. Hey, what's going on? Uncle Joey here. Listen, it's that time of the year. It's always the time of the year, be healthy. If you want to replace your nicotine cravings with a good habit, check out fume.

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Anyway, Danny, I want to talk to you about some stuff here. You know, there's not a lot of guys left. That were from Archer. Either. death, they're retarded, they read too much about Trump, it's something with these guys. Did you think ever, you were like, when I wake up every morning and I'm in the fucking shower,

when I wake up every morning and I go in the shower, I look at the water coming down on my face and I go, how the fuck am I still here? Like every morning, I'm like, how the fuck is this possible? You know, I never OD. I took two Kwayludes one day, too heavy-duty quail-ludes. And I passed out at fucking Joe Lucci's barbecue when Joe Lucci was the man, the king of Northburg.

And I loved that motherfucker. Yeah, that was a good spot. That was a good spot. And that's the only time I'll eat and stuff. But I still cannot believe, I still cannot believe that I just can't believe it sometimes. And I just sit there. And then I have coffee. And then I have coffee.

And I write, and when I'm writing my journal, the same thing comes out at some point. into two or three pages that I write and I'm like, what the fuck? And it's not doing good for yourself. For me, it was just still being here. And I always felt that and you. I mean, dog, people would have quit

if they're in half of your life. You know, I'm grateful. You were just telling everybody here before and that you moved back up here for 15 months and you moved back. You did this in the twilight of your life. You just decided I'm getting the fuck out of Pennsylvania. No, you had an opportunity.

I grabbed my balls and, you know, I moved here closer to the city. And, you know, when I got there, the radio station was being sold. They didn't tell nobody and they were going in a different direction. I walk in there one day, you know, I'm a cheerleader and everybody's loving me. I'm hanging out with Sid Rosenberg, Curtis Lewa. You know, all the guys are 77. And it was great. I thought I was going to be the next star.

And they wind and dine me and Jamie acting. so, like they're going to build a show. So when they're walking in, it's like everybody's got their head down. I said, would somebody step on their cat or something? What the hell's going on? They just fired 100 people. I go, well, that sucks. Well, they sold the station out little by little.

First, it was WPLJ they got rid of. And, you know, and they went in a different direction. So that's kind of why we went back. I did sell, I shouldn't have sold. Lost me a shitload of money. But I saw the opportunity. I'm in my late 50s. It was a six, seven years ago.

Yeah, so I was in my mid to late fifth 70s, that's coming. And I took a shot, you know. Some people say, oh, you've got balls to do that. But I should have been a little bit more careful, but I'm not criticizing. I'm talking about your boss. Yeah.

Like I'm talking about, you know, if people knew half this shit, like it's a funny joke that we cracked before, this motherfucker was the soldier of the year. he had dinner at the fucking White House for Ronald Reagan and again, eight months later, he's thorned coke at fucking

whatever the fuck it was. But he got there and you didn't get there to be soldier the year because of what they told you. It was the survival. I always say that now I look back at what we grew up with. I can name five guys right now

off the bat that I know you grew up with that had not the best houses. They were divorced. The dad was an outkey. The other guy's dad was a half a wise guy. He decided to take a watch one day and they killed them. You know, we grew up. And I think that our bond was made over that.

We weren't perfect kids. No. George, I made a bond with him in 1979. You guys go back that long, huh? 19-179. He's from Cliffside. Went to summer school. Smoking joints in between the 8.30 and the 1030 session.

Him and this hot hippie chicken. Look at us now. Look at us now, you know. Still alive, doing good. Yeah, well, listen, man. But then there's a kid I grew up with North Bergen, but I know he's homeless right now. He's living in Walmart parking.

Oh, that's sad. He's 62. He's got from Social Security. He went to too many on the skinner concert. He thought the party was never over. You know what I'm saying? You know, those guys, they're 55. I do know those guys.

I'm like, oh, yeah, we're going to. Still wearing a T-shirts? We all picked our fucking, our pass, you know. I'll tell you. When I think about you, myself, Glenn Conti, you know. Glenn Conti. A lot of guys, like Glenn did exceptionally well. Yeah, he did.

And nobody over tell you. Nobody over, he won't tell you. But he did exceptionally well. He still has the record at UPS for fucking years. Still there, I think, right? No, he retired. Recently. Yeah.

I was telling my neighbor is a UPS driver, and he knows Glenn. He works out of what they call a hub. Everybody knows Glenn. Yeah, well, he knows Glenn. UPS, everybody knows Glenn. And he's been there 20 years, and I said, yeah, he's been there like 40-7. He goes, that's impossible.

You got to remember, we applied for that job December of 81. He got the job, December of 81. And he just fucking retired. It's the only ever job he's ever had. Like, he went right in high school. UPS. He took some things at some college.

Yeah, I remember. UPS was paying him more and everything. He was supporting his mom. He was helping out Keith. Mom, good lady. Yeah. You know, and all these kids, The kids I was with downtown, the Boussaint, all those kids had something going on.

And then you have like a Mike Ascley's type of situation who lives in a great house, but he wants to hang with the crazy people. He didn't want to hang out with the Chip Chippalibb. Oh, part of North Berger. Oh, do you want a martini? No, that shit didn't exist back there. So this day, I won't get a nice car because we grew up in North Berger. Of a nice car.

It's not the worst car. I should have, like, people were to go out for the mazorraiserables. Well, I've done that, but believe me. 60 fucking 3 years old. Five of them I have. I know. I made that financial mistake, too. All those things are like.

Five fucking mazoradis. I know when you're pulling up with that beamer, you're hiding as a man. When you're a man, you just walk in there. I like when I see a guy that has a dirty shirt on, like a fucked up hair and the hottest chick with him. And all these other guys have the typical outfit now, the blue suit with the watch, with the brown shoes. Make sure you see the watch. Yeah, they'll see a little bit flooded. They're all fake watches.

Nobody's got, not everybody's got a Rolex in society. So somebody's fucking showing up with one of those fucking Shoney-O-Tanee makes $10 million. He gives everybody a $4,000 watch. Tony, take this watch and take it back to Japan and make a fucking super one that hits home run. You're going to give me a four-grand.

And not for none, the ones with the watch with the fucking Amani suit, they never pick up a bill either. They don't pick up a bill. They run. They go to the bathroom. They put that cologne on. They're shooting steroids.

They get the perfect. trim, you know. I was with one of them not too long ago. Yeah, and you see it. I went to Miami and you see the exact same cutter, cookie cutter guys, picking on girls. And they don't even grind no more. At least we don't know what's...

We take girls and drive. They just sit there like this. Weaving the handkerchief. Yeah, like waving nothing, an empty hand. You know what I'm saying? You better put a half gram worth 20 in that motherfucker. Yeah. It's just so weird when I see that now.

And you go, what is he? Why is he working so hard with that? You know, I, got caught. I lost my license for so many years, you know, over 10, just tickets. And then I went to jail and it all escalated driving without a license. And finally, in the late 90s, I got it back. And, you know, everybody would bust my bulls. You don't have a car at your age. So I said, oh, yeah. Once I got my license back, I went out and got a brand new catalog, had it for about a week, and I got a DUI. And I got a refusal.

So I lost it for 18 months and I just met my wife. We were together for like two weeks. And she was a lot younger than me. I said, I'm like, well, shit, I guess I got a keeper. I need a chauffeur. I always joke about that. How do you and Jamie? I had a DUI and I needed somebody to drive me around.

So I kept my wife who at that time was just my girlfriend. But we got married shortly after that. And then I just started making a lot of money, a lot of money, crazy money. I just spiraled out of control. I needed one car. I had to be better in Florida. Our parking lot had like $3 million worth of cars and just spiraled out. Then I got into the Maserati kick.

It was addicted. They would see me. Here he comes again. But they were leasing out good. So that was always my excuse. Oh, they lease out better than Mercedes or BMWs. You know, and I had a little habit. That in sneakers.

Cars and sneakers have been my, I don't like ties or fucking fancy suits. I don't like the collar thing. Even at the wedding, I had a hat on people. People like, I swear to a hat at him. But the watch thing never impressed me. Like my little earrings, but no. I got a big dick.

He always did. You always had... I got a big dick and a lot of personality. Yeah, that's, you know what, I remember you... When I'm walking in that fucking room, I'm walking into the high school on a Friday night during a basketball game. You better come prepared, motherfucker. I remember you whipped that thing out to clear the bar at Joe and Mary's to get a seat. You drop it on a...

Boom, you hear that my cousin would run. Oh, no, the turtle. Turtle neck. Fuck, yeah. He had a name for it. And you would fuck with him. Then you put it in his hand once or twice. Oh, fuck.

Yeah. And he didn't even know. He goes, oh, yeah. No, and he'd run to the bathroom. If you fake with me, dog, I'd take that thing out and put it your hand. I remember him. On your back and your mouth. He'd run to the bathroom.

He'd go, he did it to me again. I go, what? He goes, Coco. He put his dick in my hand again. I go, how does that happen? He goes, you know, I talk and I had it down on the seat and I just feel it slap on my hand. I'm talking, getting ready to play pool. And the next thing.

You know, it's not the cue stick. It's his dick. You know, I'm human. I'm a man like everybody else. I'm not good looking. My asshole smells funny. You know, I got a fungi toenail. But, you know what I'm saying?

When you show up as a man, people, we're old school men. And I've never lost that. Like, I don't need a tattoo. I've always been a little bit of my hat. I got a big dick and I'm going to eat it. Listen to me. I'm going to lick your fucking soul. I'm going to stick my tongue in you.

I'm going to lick your soul. I love you to death. You know what I'm saying? but fuck it. I'm not big on anything. No, me neither. I don't need to impress. It drives me crazy.

I downsized a lot. I still have a nice car and stuff like that. And, you know, my wife's the best thing that ever happened to me, Jamie. You know, we've been together 26 years. Me too. Over 26 years. Married 26 years in July. You know, we talk about getting into trouble and stuff like that.

And I'm on my way. I'm making millions of dollars. my wife's eight months pregnant. I think I told you the story down in Florida. I was working for a company at the time. We were making like, I don't know, half a million dollars a week, if not more. It's just crazy money. This is when, before social media, and we were under investigation.

The company was under investigation before I even got there, right? I got there in 2001. They started an investigation back in the late 90s about the company. and I had left after a couple of years. I'm like, I made a lot of money. I don't like these guys here, you know. They're a bunch of showoffs. They're always going downtown Fort Myers with their fancy.

They go visit Jacob de Jura. They come back with $200,000 worth of watches. And I never really dug them, you know. They weren't my crowd. Jamie got pregnant, so I'm like, let's get out of here. So I just grabbed my memorabilia off the wall. I packed up and I left. A couple months later,

I opened up my own business. April of 2004, April 8th. It's like 5 o'clock in the morning. Jamo's in town, of course. The fucking James was like, the cops are at the fucking door. Cops are out. Like, what the fuck did he do with the rent the car? I thought Jamo got into trouble with the rent the car.

No, they fucking rounded all of us up. Fucking stole $14 million. As my wife is eight months pregnant, we were broke. They took everything. They seized everybody's money. before they actually arrested us. So we couldn't fire counsel. It was like we had a rat on the inside,

ratted on everybody. He got caught buying drugs we found out. Still won't admit it, but we found that he did it. And he took us all down. Nobody really went to jail, though. We all got house arrest, probation, and loss of funds. But for me, thank God, because I opened up my new business, that money, they took it anyway.

But I said, ah, the only way I'm going to pull. plead out. So if you give me that money back, because you're not entitled to that, that wasn't part of the investigation. I had a good attorney, too. So they agreed to give like a half a million dollars back. But here she was, eight months pregnant, down in Florida by herself, as they're dragging her husband away, you know. Biggest arrest ever, Southwest Florida, on the TV, on ESPN, you know, for like two, three weeks. But then, 10 years earlier, you're on HBO sports. I had 1997. Talking about fucking picking winners and shit.

I'm like, yeah, that's right. That's really started my career, actually. HBO Sports. Real sports. Los Bergen,

William. Brian Gumble. Yeah. I remember everybody calling me up. They thought they were wired out of their face. I'm in Pennsylvania at the time and they're like calling me the next day. Dan, I was watching TV and here you are on TV.

Two o'clock in the morning. You know, but yeah, that was in 1997. They all got Emmys for that, too, as well. Not me.

Nah. I got a fucking, what's the box above? Oscar de Aloha signed boxing world. That's what I got. Let me ask you something. How did you get this thing in Florida? And how did you get this thing on HBO? No, no, no.

Before you answer, nobody fucking trained you. You got this from what you got walking around here. I did. I tried the street smarts personality. And when you give, like, that's one thing. I'm great for North Bergen. People that were in this, at that time.

They were all Italian families that come from Hoboken and I've been abused in Hoboken by the Irish so now, you know, Rick Caposy, that whole generation those guys were 5'8 foot 8,

240, 2.205. They were fucking, you know, they were all looked like masons, Anthony Avillo, you know, and I don't know. It was,

I'm sure Lee has a bunch of questions. Yeah, he's been quite over there, Lee. I've been listening. Yeah, amazed. You're amazed? But it's too stoned. Both.

A mixture of both. I can understand that because I'm not feeling that best myself here. But how I got into the business was kind of an accident. You got into it hanging out in North Pergin, talking about five times as a Joe Man.

Well, I was booking one time. I was always running a gambling business, you know, owen or booking and whatever. Yeah, I mean, everybody, if you didn't know you weren't a man, everybody owed money. So, you know, 1994, I go out to California.

Jamo, my cousin's out there. he's like, I'm working at a gym. He goes, yeah, we got to, in August they come out with this head. This guy hires guys to give out picks. I'm like, who would pay anybody for a sports pick? That's how I went along with it. I went on the interview and a guy like our New York voice, their California laid back California surfer dudes.

But he was very successful. He owned the 900 numbers back in the day, where you get picks not on the internet on the phone. And he also owned $25, $25, $7 to pay. depending on what, and he also had a huge income through sex lines, sex, sex, uh, phones and stuff. And, you know, he hired us. I, right away, it was making money. I was good.

I sold the first guy I spoke to. And then somebody got sick that did radio with him. He goes, hey, listen, I need you to fill in for radio. I'm like, I'm not the fuck. I'm going. Just follow the script. Or say what I tell you to say and you'll be fine. And that's how it all started by accident.

Somebody got sick. He asked me to fill in. And yeah, the rest is history. A year later, my mom's husband died, went to see her in Pennsylvania. I was only there for a week, supposedly. Met a guy at a gym who introduced me to Jamie years later. He said, oh, man, this is a good business you're in. Let me introduce you to this family who just opened up an offshore sports book.

And they were doing radio, the Atea family. They were wrestlers, LSU. One of them won the gold, was not the silver. He lost his Shultz back in the Olympics, back in 84. And they were gang-serian gangsters, though. And they liked me and put me to work, got me on the phones. They started a radio show, a television show. The scorephone, I'd update the scorephone.

Remember that to get scores. Back at you live at the top of the hour. Let's take a look at your games underway in the first inning. It's the Yankees won nothing over Toronto. Mets getting pounded by Pittsburgh 7 to nothing. Well, probably look at the score that might be happening. But yeah, so then I wrote an article. The guy had a magazine called The Las Vegas Sporting News,

and I wrote an article called Behind the Scene of a Multi-Million Dollar scheme. HBO was, you know, they were investigating the business in 97, and they read the article, and they wanted to meet the guy who wrote the article, and they served me up to the HBO people, and, you know, they liked me, they had me on, and they actually hired me for a couple of shows as a consultant after that, too. But because I ran the advertisement too for the company, everybody in the business, like you come work for us, come to Vegas, we'll pay you a lot, we'll do this. So after two or three years, you know, Jamie, you know, we just got married.

She goes, let's do this. Let's take this job in Fort Myers. You know, the guy's telling us, double your salary, you make this. Grabbed our balls, went down there and sold everything, jumped in the Cadillac, still wasn't able to drive because I had my DUI. Through my parrot literally on my shoulder. we packed the car with snow in April 19th of 2001 snowing. We got to one of the West Virginia, whatever you go through.

And it was night. And we got down there. We started a radio show and magic happened for a while anyway. But like, you know, all good things come to an end. And we weren't even doing anything wrong. We were just giving out picks. But we were making too much fucking money. We were making too much money.

The kids were getting stupid. They were all 22, 25. If you didn't make $10,000, $15,000 a week, they were salty, like fighting over. That was my lead. That was my guy on the phone. That was my client. And it just spiraled out. And I saw it coming, too, though.

I saw it coming. If we were to stuck together and people didn't rat on everybody, they would have got thrown out. But people panicked. Too much money at stake. You know, $14 million is a lot. And, yeah. Since then, I've been on my own. You know, we moved back to Pennsylvania shortly after that, like a year.

year later. He was born in Florida. Under duress, I should say, that might account for a lot of them. It's funny because you and I at that time were the only guys in our clique that were traveling. Everybody else stayed in North Park. Yeah, we're going on to Belmar. I mean, this motherfucker traveled all around the country. Right. I'm trying to beat two Cubans in Miami. And then I end up in L.A. Finally succumbed to my uncle. And I go to that. And I go to the to L.A. and the first two days of my uncle is fucking brutal.

He's just running me ragged on fucking attitude about my mother telling me how she was involved with people. And I'm like, you know what? You opened this bar because of my fucking mother. Where's my end? Right. He was like you got to stay at a hotel and holy shit.

And he let me stay on top of the bar. And when I just robbed him. I said, enough is enough. I fucking put a hole in the wall. He gave me a bartending job And I just draw hundreds in there Oh man And that night he kept bugging me more

And I'm like fuck this motherfucker I kicked the door And I took the money out of that fucking hole As I turn around There's my fucking uncle with a gun in his hand And he's like get out Leave the money And I already had like a thousand in my sock

I wasn't going nowhere I gave him the money I had his jewelry I'm upstairs and I walked out And I may believe And I pulled the gun on him How you like me now motherfucker And he goes, you're an animal like your mother.

Get out of here. And the cab came. That's awful. And I got it because he kept saying that my brother was a murderer. Because my brother stuck up for his sister. Right. A sister was getting raped and my mother stuck a bottle of him. So he kept saying, you got your mother's blood.

You're a murderer. I never forget getting in the fucking cab and just telling the cab drive, take me something. I was fucking. My spirit was done. Like, this was my last hope. My uncle. He's my mother's brother. Right.

And he's breaking my fucking balls. I got a rob. I'm back to where I started. And here I am in this hotel in Orange County. And I called them. I remember that too. You showed up with J-M-O with a pizza. And dog, I'm out.

I'm like, fucking. They just walked in. Like, where's the jewelry? I go to the jewelry right there. They gave me like $150. And I fucking, they left me a pizza. They goofed on me. Look at the shape of you.

You're bleeding. You know. I remember that, man. Oh, my God. That was terrible. So, you guys left. And I didn't want to get caught by the police. So I get back on People's Express.

You don't have to pay until you got on the plane with the credit card. I'm 99-dollar flights. There was no credit card in my world. In fact, that. No, my neither. Unless it was stolen. I'll never forget that I kept on the lady. I had money on me.

I kept down, lady, lady. The cards are my luggage. Don't worry about none. We'll catch you next time. Bro, when I got out of the doer, there were three cops waiting for me. They took me downstairs. They searched through my shit.

I kept saying, no money. I lost my whole wallet. I couldn't say I had money in my sock. So you're not getting here until we pay this like Paul Veneery. At 6.30 in the morning to give him this credit card over the phone. He was pissed. Anthony, yeah. We go back quite a while. That's 84. Yeah, he had his black Eldorado Baritz then. I remember that. Black Eldice. My memory's still pretty sure. All the shit I did to myself, I still can remember shit. But you don't remember what you did yesterday for breakfast. I don't really eat breakfast. What the fuck?

That was an easy answer. No, my memory is still pretty good. But when I drink, though, the kids have got to tell me, dad. You got to stop. I do black out from drinking sometimes. I don't know. But it's all in fun. They're like, I wake up like, I'm so.

I'm like, did I work out last night when I was drinking? Not like bad. You would like doing push-ups, you're one-handed. You started working out with that thing. And I'm like, oh, God. Wrestling in the kids. You know, they're younger. I know.

I still feel I can fight them, but they're younger. I can still fuck them. And I've always told, like, Lee and everybody else, going up, we weren't bad kids. No. We were lighting people on fire and killing people and burying them in the woods and shit. That's not a bad kid, dude. That's a fucking...

Serial killer. We were having the best time we could have for what they gave us. Yeah, we were all tough, though. Everybody was tough. Everybody knew how to fight and get around. Yep. And then you learn how to fight for what you was. Right.

And then you just learned this. There was a mentality growing up. up here and it was that old Italian blue collar Irish right that was what this area was about and it really inspires you when you see these guys at Ray Dalton's bar you look at their hands and their fucking hands are hanging and they're drinking and you're like you know what that's not what I want to do but listen to what that guy's saying he's talking he's dropping knowledge I had we were around really good people when we grew up we were around a couple bad people.

Mm-hmm. The good people we had in our lives were fucking that good. Yep. They were. They looked out for you. They were that good. And we got looked out after. And again, my daughter,

your sons will never know that. Well, they hear the stories. They hear the stories, but to see it, we also read about George Washington in the slips. You know what I'm saying? What did that get us? But my sons also hear other people

co-signing it so they know my stories are true. And I do leave out a lot of stuff because I ashamed of some of the stuff or I don't want them to know. What are you fucking ashamed of? Well, some of the things I did. I'm not ashamed.

Listen, I ask myself once a year. I got to say there's things I wish I didn't do. That might be better. The things I wish I didn't do weren't crimes. The things I wish I didn't do were the people who love me. The people I went off the renovation, reservation where that they really loved me.

There's one in particular. I stopped talking to her and she died. And until this day, I think about it. Like every fucking day in the shower. I'm like, man, thank God she looks over me. But me robbing Michael, shit, I'd do it again. Me robbing a drug dealer, and I'm telling me having a drug dealer. And getting attacked by a cat, I'd do that again.

You know, I would say the only people I ever robbed were drug dealing. Yeah. I never took down a store or anything. No, everybody was in the fucking game. And we did it properly. And we really thought we were the men. And we got away with a lot. things I'm ashamed of, I guess would be like just selling drugs to my friends and stuff,

looking back, you know, I wish I can take that back. No and now that, you know, a lot of people never came back from that. You know, I wasn't alone, but that's about it when I say I'm ashamed. And maybe that was the wrong word, but I wish I didn't get involved in that part. Wish I could have avoided that. Your son, my daughter, even if they go to a fucking club in Atlantic City on a Saturday night, get in the middle and jump up and down, they'll never have

the amount of accessibility weed out of here. Lee, if you didn't snore Coke, you didn't snore Coke, Lee. It's like we are now. Lee, I love to do heroin with you, and I tease you. But I don't. You know what I'm saying? Everybody gave you... No, I would have...

There was no such thing as, you're a pussy if you don't do this. We never worked that way. Now. We did it because you did it. Yeah. Nobody put a gun to your head. If you wanted, you knew that your parents were at the Board of Education, or you knew that your father was a cop,

where you knew that your father was the chief of police. So it was all on you what you wanted to do. You know, I think if I would have had a mother, I wouldn't have done that, but that's bullshit. I was going to do it no matter what. I had a mother and I still did it. Yeah, and that's not. So you have to consider it wasn't, I don't say that we were junkies.

the availability in 1980, 1980 to 85 Lee with drugs, you had a better chance but get an ounce of cocaine for free than like common things. Like you might take you a week to find the job, but you'll find the motherfucker the same day that will say, take to see what you could do

and I'll be back in a week. Is it like weed now are even more intense? It's dog. All we have now is weed. and edibles in a store. And then when you go out on Friday night, so you go to Ultra, you have festivals and you have pink cocaine

and all these other drugs that kids are doing today. And that's fine. I'm not ever angling on them. I'm not saying that. But the amount of availability here, there was mesqually. There was acid always in time. There was no mushrooms.

That was a west corner. No, there was a lot of mesculine. A lot of mescal. A lot of fucking that. And all you had to do, Lee, was either go over that Lincoln Tunnel. or go over that bridge and you could do things

nobody needed to know. Did they have a train back then or no? It doesn't fucking matter. They did have a train. They had everything. We had police escorts. One of our buddies, a cop, would just put the badge out there,

free travel through the tunnel, nobody fucked with you. Yeah, no idea, Lee. So that was America's playground. Now you see white people smoking vapors. Oh my God, I love this cafe in Alphabet City. You finally go up to them and smack them in the face.

Like if you knew what went on this street 30 years ago, you wouldn't even walk on this fucking street. Meanwhile, you're sitting here with that fucking snick-a-doodle. I don't know who's ugly or the dog or your fucking skinny boyfriend. You got one of those dogs? And you're smoking a vapor pen. They're all faggy fucking dogs. My point is they had no idea what the what they was sitting on.

Manhattan was a place that you went at 11, not to come home at one. No. That was never going to happen. In the afternoon. You were going to find yourself in a car with us with sunglasses on. Coming over to bridge, like, man, that was fun. It ain't even done. We're going to sharpos.

We're going to Ernie's to pick up three cases. And the other cars are going to get a hotel room. We're not even fucking done. I thought I was going to go to work at 10. Tell them it's over. I missed the last two days. Quit. It's over.

That's how easy. And you had a new job on Friday. I was in the elevator's union real quick for like three or four weeks. and the guys were laid back. I was a, you know, I helped with the tools. It was a good job. Otis Elevator. And that's how I wound up, Quinn.

Yeah, I got my first check. It was for like $900. And I'd looked at it. And I was like, you know what? Fuck this. I ain't go. I'm having a good time. And plus I just made $3,000 yesterday.

Yeah. It's fucking insane. Yeah. It was insane. After a while, you're like, why am I getting the job poor? I can make more money sitting at Midtown and running errands,

like going on, give him somebody a ride. It became too easy. That's what it was. And it was so much accessibility. The accessibility, I couldn't handle. That's why I left. It was overwhelming.

It was accessibility for women, drugs, hideouts. If you didn't want to drink in North Bergen, you went to Union City to his uncle's, his great-uncle's bar and drank there. If not, you went to Hoboken to a dive. If the cops were looking for you, you went to Guttenberg to that, that whole, what's the apartment building?

The first one we spoke about? The Galaxy. Because he had a little bar in there in the corner. It made the best DACA reason. And you could snort. You could do anything in there. Nobody knew anything. That's where you go to hide?

Yeah. That's where you went with a broad. Nobody said, I had an apartment upstairs because I was the maintenance man. So I'd see who needed a room. And I'd go to their fucking rooms and sit there with their robes on and shit like fucking Marlon Brando. It's a different fucking world.

And I'm happy. I'm very happy that our kids don't. don't see this, but in a way, I'm sad that the kids, you'd mention my boy. That dude never talked to me again. Paris Pizziona. Oh, Paris? And I loved him. There was one kid I really loved enough.

I just talked to him the other day on the phone. You know, he became a state trooper. What he won't tell you is the time we were in the city in the eighth grade. He went to a peep show and his neck got stuck. Oh, gosh. On one of those things where you don't put enough quarters in? Doug, who does that happen to him? He's a state trooper, isn't he?

Don't he become a cop? Oh, Paris? Yeah. Paris stayed in California after the Navy, and he became an aircraft mechanic. Oh, okay. I thought he was something like a... Bro, I was nervous of driving there. And one night he pulled me over.

You're the motherfucker. It wasn't Paris, then. Paris joined the Navy in 79 and never came back. Stayed in California. I met Paris. So Paris was like 16 when he joined the name. Well, 17, you have to be. We all joined at the same time.

He might play basketball with him in the eighth grade. Oh, he was a good ballplay. He was an excellent ballplay. He wasn't good in school, but he was. but he did. No, not. He stayed in San Diego and did very well for himself.

Actually, he was just in Jersey to attend a wedding this weekend with Denise Mick. You know Denise Mick. Is that where you went for that wedding? No, no. He was cousins with him some way. Yeah, they are cousins.

They're like second cousins or some shit like that. But yeah, think about that. Lee. Being in the eighth grade, telling mommy, you're excited about your baddest. And all of a sudden,

you're in the city at 10th the morning after we smoked a joint and now we're playing three-car Monty with a bunch of brothers and a bunch of German tourists watching us. German, fuck it. And then from there, after you lost your money, you walked up two more blocks.

And next thing, you know, we're talking to one of those guys that barks outside the dingiest strip club you've ever seen your life. They had barkers for strip clubs? Oh, yeah, big motherfuckers. Come on in, come on in, meet the girls. We'd all walk in there.

13, like, shit. And we'd sit on the girls to sit on your lap. And at that time, every hand that you have, on your body came out. You were like an octopus. You were grabbing assholes. And they'd say, oh, stop it. You have to buy me champagne.

And then the champagne would come. It was like abyss. And they wanted 20 bucks. And it's like, I ain't got 20 bucks. All right, get out. We would do that from strip club to strip club. I remember those little champagne bottles. Yeah, those little champagne bottles.

Wait, they pull you right off the street. You're in the fucking eighth grade. I can't even, I wouldn't have been allowed to walk around New York by myself in the eighth grade. I don't think. What? Probably not. You have lived a sheltered life, young man. That's true.

Like I said, some parents. Your daughter's getting close to eighth grade? Yeah. Would I let her walk over now? Right now, it would be a shock to the system, but yes, if she went with girls that knew what they were doing, a little older. Okay. But she's not scared to go over there.

No, I wouldn't be that right now. In her little fucking mind. I would have, I would have loved to have done it. Yeah. Yeah, they're not prepared, but they are. That's how you get prepared. Shit. First time she walks past a junkie jerking off.

First time she walks. past somebody fucking puking. First time she walks somebody bleeding. Yeah. That's how you go, okay, I got a really fucking, because I can tell you all you want. Lee, don't look at your phone. You go down there, please.

Look straight ahead. Yelping donut shops. And also, some guy gets hit by a car, and ain't nobody stopping. The guy's just getting hit over and over again. Baboon, baboom, baboom, baboom, babo. I got to tell you, there's something that's going to make

everybody very happy. The fact, I'm going to announce a date on it. It's going to be that big. So last week, my daughter got me. Call of Duty. I don't know. Those video games? The video games.

Again, we don't need video games. We lived. Exactly. I don't think you lived called. I was never good at that stuff. I said, enough is enough. Rand Deft Auto, would you believe? So I went upstairs.

We couldn't get the Call of Duty to work, but she did have Grand Theft Auto. Holy shit. Grand Theft Auto. was us and what. I just said, would you believe in Granddad? Holy shit.

All I know is it took me an hour to go out of the parking lot. And then I kept losing Lamar. You lost Lamar. Lamar. Lamar. Lamar. Who the fuck is Lamar?

And then there was a scene. I couldn't control the steering wheel. I controlled the speed and shit, but the steering wheel, dog, I was hitting pedestrians. I was hitting hot dog people. Bro, I hit an old lady with a nurse.

He was like, Dad, you're hitting the old lady. fucker. I mean, we were fucking going off. Oh, dude, you don't even have to do missions. They would be hysterical, but you can just go around and killing hookers and robbing people. That's all I would. No, no, no. It's not that.

Listen, anybody I killed, I killed on accident. I'm not going to sit here and tell you, oh, you should have seen me. I was horrible. I got to practice the gun war. But this is left. This is right. I don't know. This is shooting.

Then there's a star triangle. Oh, I couldn't ever do that. Get in the car. So you have a PlayStation. Okay. for him to throw punches and shit like that. Don't they have grenade launches on those things and stuff? Listen, let's start basic.

I ain't no fucking James Bond, okay? But I tell you what, even when my wife got home, my wife was fucking howling. I told you. I was really like fucking had to stop a few times because I thought I was going to sick. So I can't imagine. I'm that bad.

I'm that bad. I could put a season premiere of Uncle Joey plays call of Dwy. That would be funny. And DeVado. And put it on Twitch and it's going to be all over to shout.

That would be huge. That'll be the biggest entertainment because I don't know what I'm doing. Okay? Anybody can go on there and go, look at me. Me going on there with 22 joints in me

and 2,000 milligrams. Just hitting poles and shit. Because you can't kill that car. There was a scene when I was chasing somebody. Right. In the snow. Right.

I couldn't get out of, The snow. I kept falling backwards. You were in the snow? Oh, yeah. Come on, Lee. Come on, man. Once you don't know with that one, you have to do Red Dead Red Dead Redemption, too. Where you're a cowboy? Let me be player number two.

That would really be entertaining because I, even back in the 70s, the Atari, I could, I was horrible back then. We weren't cut out. Oh, my cousin Jammel would tear up Silver Ball. Remember Silver Ball? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was the king of Silver Bowl, but he was also selling six for five joints, remember six or five?

How long were you playing Grand Theft Auto for? A stone, edible dog. I was fucking loving. Well, perfectly, especially after your surgery. I would laugh. Oh, I'm going to get really good during my surgery. You're going to get better. Yeah, wait until they give me those pain pills.

The first three days, they give me those pain. You'll be running over people for sure. Oh, I'm going to be running over things. I've watched the kids play, and I'm like, they really have games like this? It's never been in my thing. But once I started seeing them, how realistic they are. They are. You watch Army shows.

They're watching them. They're about to come out with a new one. Which one? Grand Theftato. A new one? Yeah, it's been years. That five has been out for like, wow.

I don't know that one of those shows. Because that is my life. They get up and they just rob. Cause people. Yeah, but I got killed. You know what's funny. They said lesbian. He got killed a few times, right?

You've been killed a bunch of times. Oh, my God. I did Mafia 3. I know your movies. They always seem to kill you off. I get killed. Yeah, I got blown off and the Saints of Nook. It's a fucking nice.

They had to hire writers. Rockstar took years and years to develop. a story that you're saying it was just your life. I'm counting that. You were in a video game? I didn't know. Whatever I played the other day was just a regular day

from me in the old day. You get up. Were you the crazy guy, the black guy, or the guy in the suit? I was all of them mixed in one, though. You know what I'm saying? I'm my own... I remember the island of Dr. Moreau?

Yeah. I'm Dr. Moreau. John Voigt. The actor was John Boyt. That would do what? The island of Dr. Moriot. No, it was that. Martin Brand, though.

did it, 19, fucking 90s? Well, he did something. Wasn't he in it with him? I don't know. I don't remember. I don't know. We went from a video game. That's the fucking damn weed you gave me.

I'm sitting here just trying to... You know, I ate edibles. I don't know how you're doing, especially with that staircase out there. Oh, fuck the staircase. You need an elevator. I remember one that we had a party, Hudson County Park. On the river, you know, on the little island. And you had a walk on top of that ice.

I was your stay up today telling stories about that. You took your son. They used to have, and they used to roll a keg across. This was not known to Fokarachio. That part of town were the fearless leaders. They invented that. The Broadway boys. Yeah.

You know, you're Cuomo's. That was them. They would push the keg across, launch it, and then start drinking. They invited me one year. It was the coldest night of the fucking winter. They did talk to that way. And my stupid Cuban ass wears a flannel with a shirt. Thank God I had some quailutes.

because I ate some quail-lid and I went to the wing for him with folk and lube. And we watched Folkarashio ate a lube, a lute and he just fell asleep with folks right rice. And he has a big nose. So he started... Ringo. He was fucking breathing and snoring.

He was a madman. And Loobs was like, wake up. Joe, don't, wake up. You're embarrassing me and all this shit. Fuck it. And then I ended up walking home and I ended up falling asleep in the apartment building,

dragging grocery. They just had it on Facebook last week. But in the 70s, They made the best Chinese food there on Sunday. But if you went next door to it, there was an apartment building, and upstairs Lisa Ginnipknop lived. She was a high Jewish girl.

Gnipkenak? Yeah, she was a Jewish girl. I didn't know how to say her last name. So we just called the Lisa Gnipkenab. She was fucking beautiful. She was fucking beautiful, dog. But I woke up one morning like this. In the door jam,

with my feet keeping the door open. When I woke up, the sweatshirt was white blue, but it had like a thin frost. thought it. I was like the tin man. I was frozen, dog. People say it lose fingers and shit. Not when you eat two quailutes from the village

in those days. Those guys did, they were the original tough guys. Folcaraccio, Duffy. Who is the other? There was a few of them. A villo was involved in that crew. But Joe Fulk always reminded me of Ringo Starr. If you look at his younger pictures. He's a great man. He's a great fucking guy.

He's down in North Carolina now. Yeah. He moved down there. I see him on Facebook. I go back and forth from some time. I always loved him. He drove me to get Pink Floyd tickets and fucking we were driving on the turnpike. 19.

It's 1979. Maybe two weeks after my mother died. And I get in the car with him, let's go. That's when he was in the bad. Let's go. That was him too. Seven in the morning drinking. Fucking, we got to stop.

I think it was me and Didi and Loubs in the car. And we're driving. He goes, give me that fucking joint. He starts smoking the joint. and the thing falls and it burns his shirt. And all of a sudden, you know those little orange barrels? He just fucking hit one, Lee.

And the barrel went up like 80 feet in the air that we all were like, holy fuck. And it just landed like on the other lane. Cars are going around this shit. Oh, my God. Yeah, I think he was the original Madman, Joe, one of the original. He was a good hockey player, him and his brother Ralph.

They used to have these parties right next to Maregs in Gamio's house. and Gamiel had in the garage that you pulled in like this, but there was always a painter's ladder in the garage, and it led to a little attic. All right, and he would have parties up there, but you got to remember there was no door. You just walked up, and one Halloween, Joe went dressed at the devil. He was always the devil.

Because that was his nickname, the devil, Joe LaFolk, Satan. Satan. That's what he was Satan. So he had the red suit on the whole thing. I remember that outfit. Me and your uncle and lube's. We're eating gorilla biscuits, fucking around with him, talking about Satan and all this shit. We keep walking them back.

One inch of time. Yeah, we keep walking back. And the hole was right there, dog. And there was a drop like that. And also we kept walking him back. And he goes, happy 10, 12. And that's all you heard. And we all went back to see him,

and he landed on his head and his horns were bent. And he's like, he's bleeding from one side. Didn't care probably. This was like every other weekend. We would do acid and go in that attic and see who we could throw down that fucking old. Oh, my God. Yeah, he was crazy. They hung out at the Yon Tap a lot, too.

Tabuccino was joining, yeah. I remember I had my first out of the Army. That was the first place I went for a drink was at the On Top and the Colonnade. Remember the Colonnade? And then you had that. I never went to any of those. No, you didn't go to the TikTok? I was too young even for court.

I would eat pizza at Nix and watch what happened at Korky's. I'd be like, man, I can't turn. He was very strict about being 21 or 18. He was 18 back. Yeah, we were grandfathered on here. He was old school with that shit. You can't go in my bar. Oh, Tabicino.

No, no, no, no, no. Porky. When it was Tom and Corpys. Yeah, yeah, I remember. And he sold it, and he called it Gregory's seven-day weekend. Oh, that was a madhouse, too. right there on the corn Monday nights when they had the

they used to do those vodka orange juices bluebirds for $2. Didn't John Kelly work at the ball there? Sunday nights. Sunday nights. My rest is so. Yeah, I was shocked to hear that, unfortunately. Just like that. That's how life is. That's where he, every day I wake up,

I try to enjoy myself. I felt so bad when he died that morning. Oh, I saw it on Facebook. I felt so guilty. I'm like, I'm going to have to go to his wake. I used to throw ice cubes at him. On Sunday nights, bro, we used to bombard him. It was a different one. did pick on him a bed at the bar.

Every time he'd turn around, the whole ball would throw ice cubes out. You would just see the ice cubes. That would take him like four minutes to turn around. He'd go, motherfucker. And then he would turn around and go, the next person who throws an ice cube, I'm throwing you out. And he'd turn around and every fucking body would throw an ice cube. One night, he just left.

I think I remember that. He left, dog. That was a hot spot. Yeah, and they made a good steak there, too. Sunday nights was, no, not at corky. Gregory's, when Gregory opened up. I remember where we opened up. Yeah, Greg was a madman when he was on a marching powder.

I remember when he fought, he had a fight with Nick, the pizza man. And they were out there throwing snowballs at each other, calling each other, motherfucking. Nick, that's another guy. And we're in high school. Just getting a slice of pizza. And these motherfuckers, I still remember being out there at 11, and the door would open the night before.

They'd be like three guys with blood on their shirts. They'd hug each other. Oh, see you next week. I can't wait to be able to go in that bar to see what the fuck goes in that. Fucking weird times. There's some bars that we were getting. What was that stripped of cove?

Remember the cove? Oh, with the guy that had the wig and the ugly chicks. That they were one. Guttenberg. Everybody was a lot in the cove. The scoreboard. The guy had a wig. And I remember my finger the girl one day.

I had to take three shots. Right on the bar, right? My whole body stunk from finger like a cute mulata girl. And Holloway got rest of soul. was in love with her and he was trying to fuck her. My God, those were fucking, that was that strip club. Then you had the one on Tunley when we were way before the one-year-old.

Oh, that was a fun spot there wasn't there long, though. The Army base. That came after my. The Naval Base was it called? Naval Base. I was a Metal Anzine guy with the bottles and the pussy. I really wasn't much into the strip clubs. I did it.

I went along for the ride with them, but I wasn't, that wasn't my thing. I went to the Obruggan brothers took me to the 10-20 club. Remember Jesus? I loved him. I loved him. Big Led Zeppelin fan. And they had a candy company. So at night he would steal his father's candy truck

and take you to Harlem to cop. You'd be in the back snorting Coke to be M&Ms. Fucking frosted peanuts. Everything you need will weed. I'm snort and coke. I don't need any of this shit. He passed away too, right? Yeah, I heard a fucking filth because they were filmed the night before.

He would sneak it out at 12 and go to 88 Street Park. Who's coming into the city with me? I'd be there and not get any coke. I still remember. the fucking candy everywhere. Stickers, $100,000 bars, lollipop. My favorite. Those blow pops and the lollipops are the two flavored.

I used to take like 25 of them. He would come up. Who took all those fucking two? My father's gonna freak. Was he like selling it? Like an ice cream truck? His father had wholesale. Wholesale, okay.

And his father was also partners on a candy store where Pathmark is today. There used to be a candy store there. Not like a, it wasn't a, candy store that you went in there was a candy wholesale place. Come on. And they used to sell devil bubble bubble gum. Devil, red devil bubble gum.

Spicy? Oh. And this is 1975 when there was no FDA. They just threw like fucking pigs feet in there. You were chewing. It was so fucking goodly. The red hot. Pepper spray.

There was R.C. Cola was over that. Oh, that's the worst. You like R.C. Cola? For a quarter in the summer, a dime. It was gross. For a whole big bottle, a dime. I remember it was... They were by here, and then 38th Street, we had the iced tea company.

Yep. So for 30 cents, they give you an iced tea. Arizona? Or a lemonade. Arizona. No, that wasn't even thought of that. You got cancer from iced tea. That bottle shit came in the 90s, dog.

What the hell was the brand that everybody used back then? What was it? Yeah, you got Clayton's. And I like, I always like lipped in the powder. Yeah, yeah. We all had... You dope it up with some lemons. extra orange.

The country time. I don't like countries. I like lemonade. Cubans make lemonade. All right. Cubans throw sugar in there. It's a metal pot that's been dented and they squeeze the fucking lemons,

two limes, and then they throw some santa ria juice, a tons of liquid. Dog, it was a pleasure seeing you. Oh, my God, yeah. Yeah, it was great. I appreciate you having me. It's been too long.

Come on during football season. Oh, whatever. Whenever, I'm a phone call away. I'd love seeing you. It's been too long. I had a blast here. Unfortunately, I was a little rocked. It was a little, what?

That's not wrong with that, right? Nothing. And I'm holding my... If you were sitting here, snort and coke, there's something wrong with that. No, that'll never see me in that matter. That'll never have you. Again, I told you a couple of years ago,

I slipped up, but it wasn't... I would love to get my hands on a quail. And I had a couple... Up at 11, 714, right? Ooh. There was that kid, North Bergen, don't mention no names. This mother was dying of cancer. So on the first of the month,

He would sell all her pills. They used to give her tumult. Oh, tumies. He would sell them for $45 a piece in 1980. Secondals, tumenoles. You want to get fucked up. You split one of those fucking pills. M66.

And fucking, you see the devil. $45 a pill. The 714s, though, they were considered a pretty safe pill back in a day. It wasn't addicted. I just watched something on social media about it. Bro, the funniest story was when I saw that. one kid that you sang out with Rego before he died. His sister had a barbershop on Kennedy Boulevard across from Nick.

Now, Rappioli. I think I know who you're talking about. I was a kid, and I remember him going, hey, you want to do a quailout on a Friday night? And I'm like, no, I'm good. I was like a soccer ball. And he went up to 46th Street Hill. That's a mean hill. He lived on the bottom of that fucking hill.

And the next day I saw him and the bike was ruined. He had stitches. Oh. he ain't those quailudes who are for a bike ride. Oh, man. A lot of great stories. I mean, we can sit here to midnight and beyond to finish them.

And once we get going, there's another story that'll remind you of that time and another time. Next time we come, we'll tell him the New Year's 83 story. Oh, when I bit Roger's ear off? God rest of the soul, yeah. That was 82.

82 turning 83, yeah. Yeah, I just robbed Michaels. Yeah. And I was only in town. It was at Joanne Ligios. Oh, yeah. poor Roger. I kind of warned him, though. And then Conti tried to break it up, and I just thought,

he goes, oh, I'm good. Look, at that time, we were going to parties. We were going to part. I still remember going to a party two nights before that. Rousseau had a cousin, Wayne or something like that. Oh, his cousin. Yeah, Georgie Clegg, one of the clags. No, some other guy. A friend of a cousin. Not Freddie Clegg did. There was another cousin, Georgie. And they were, we got there, and we were like animals.

They passed a hat around. I think Rousseau took the hat with the money in it. They were like, what happened to that? It's ours. That type of shit. Yeah. Like that type of shit. It was like, we were getting thrown out of Christmas parties.

Roger would roll up at your house and right in front of your parents, grandparents, or whatever. He'd be talking to George and listen and he'd go, hold on. He'd spit on your rug. And you sit there like, what the fuck, Roger? He was doing that that whole night on New Year's here. He was on fire. He used to get messed up. So he'd be here with you, your mother could be in the corner.

want to serve this. He'd be over here going off. He pissed. Wasn't he pissing a lot in the bars and stuff? With me and him would piss on Lila's dog. That's right. Every other fucking Friday. That dog would get up dripping.

Speed hot. Because our job was to piss on that fucking dog. I remember that. We'd get so fucked up. What about when I gave you the quailudes? And I told you they were quailudes and everybody slept for three days. I remember something vaguely. Like, what the fuck did he do us?

I used to rob the janitor at the high school. Oh, the one that got the epileptic medicine. Yeah. Right? the fucking nothing. I remember that. Because the first couple of weeks, it was all value,

but the container. I would go up to him, buy him a mug. A mug was a dollar back then. 60 cents with a bag of chips. He wouldn't say two words. I buy him a mug of beer. Like, go in his pocket,

go in the back and take the valiums out and put everything back. This went on for weeks. We would wait for him. On Friday, he's like, where is he? I don't know he's coming. We know when they watched the floors

at the high school, on those nights he's having to death until midnight. Where is this guy? I don't know. He'd walk in. sit down, we send them a beer, I go up, hug them, pick pocket, and one night, I go in the bathroom, no value.

These white pills, and they look like Quailudes. Oh, man. I took them all out. Everybody salivating. Where are the pills? Like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. We got no Xanax, no Valium tonight. Tonight we got baby Quailoutch.

They're from France. I was fucked up. And these idiots are eating them like, pa, pa, pa, pa. I went home like every other idiot until I woke up the next day, and I was like, no. I didn't take any of that. It took me three days. I remember Jamo was a mess from it. Jamo was a mess.

I think Greg was a mess. I remember that, yeah. The only person who asked for more was Furni Bossa Sudo. God bless and me. Everybody else was like, those are the worst things I ever took Fernie's left. That was a fun place, Joe and Marys. I know we're winding down. But that was one of my favorite spots playing pool.

You know, they always play. John Cowan brought the chicken. John Callan. God rest of school. Good baseball player. Oh. My old baseball. My old paper boy.

He was my paper boy. I still remember being in there for John Kelly's birthday and my birthday. A very close together. It's the 17th and the 19th. So Judy, the great lady that she is, would always throw a birthday party for us. And one night she got an ice cream cake. Everybody was doing so much coke.

Nobody touched the ice cream cake. It just melted. She just stood there crying. Like, nobody ate the cake. I'm like, Judy, because we ate different type of cake tonight. Well, getting back before we cut this out, Remember my mother had a huge party at the VFW. And I went over there and ate the chicken.

You loved the chicken. Nobody showed up. My stepfather's 50th. Nobody liked the guy. So nobody showed up. And it was my mother's like crying over the food. I go, I'll solve that problem.

I went into Joe and Marys. I whistled. Whoever could eat came and eat, if not. I know you took down all the chicken. I took down all the chicken. He's like that cocoa really liked that chicken. I think tell him to come back. There's plenty left.

Fun times. Fun time. It was a different world. But you know what? We're still here to talk about it. Yeah, good memories, good friends. A lot of moved on, unfortunately. What do you think?

What you can talk to me? Tell me something. Yeah, what's up with you? You're very quiet for a comedian. Yeah. I'm doing my list. I don't know. You guys have a lot to talk about.

What do you do on stage? I'm sure you have more energy. No. What do you do? Silence language. No, I just sit there and stare at you for 15 minutes. I was Dallas. I'm sorry?

I was Dallas. Fort Worth with Jess and May was great. Great shows. a fun club. Jessima is the silliest. She was hitting on, we went to the stockyard and she had me go hit on

Cowboys for her. The guy was married to his eighth grade, sweetheart, she was pissed. She was just taking pictures of dudes in like cowboy boots and like salivating over him.

She was the funniest. So you got into comedy through Coco then, really? Through the podcast, yeah. Podcast led on to it. I was always a fan, but I never thought I'd be a stand-up.

Were you a fan of Coco before you met him? I had just moved out. I reached out to Joey maybe a month or two into living in L.A., so I heard him on Rogan's podcast.

Okay, that's where it started for you. Mm-hmm. A lot of people, that's how you met the other one, Mike Klein, through your podcast. I knew him before the podcast,

so. But yeah, I'm very excited. I'm going to be headlining Uncle Vinnie's Wednesday and Thursday. Nice. And then I'll be in Toronto with Josh Wolf-Jacob

on Friday and Saturday. Very good. Good for you. Good for you. I got nothing. And you got everything. I'm proud of you. kidding me?

I got West Nyack on Wednesday, and I'm going to go down to open for Bert at Ocean Casino. Oh, he's funny. I like him. Either Friday or Saturday and out a boat. Let's see how I feel. How was he as a person? Good?

Very good. He was my neighbor. Really? He's fucking funny. I know you did a little thing when he was smoking cigars together. I forgot the name. Yeah, yeah, on Netflix. Yeah.

But he's one of the good ones. Then I just watched something with him where he decided not to take his shirt off. Like people are like you got a... He's got a sitcom on that. Yeah, it was a series. I was pretty fucking good. You know, it wasn't his best work, but it was good. But I always liked him and who's the other one?

Tom Segorah. Yeah, they're buddies on that booze, right? I was in Texas last week. I never went to his bakery. Oh, no. Oh, that was good as fuck. Oh, yeah. No, but he's definitely funny.

But you, out of all of them, you've, you're my hero. I'm proud of you. You did good, brother. You did really good, proud. Fucking talking shit on the corner. You worked your way up. You know what I like really about you? You pay, a lot of people don't understand, besides paying your dues on the street, you did it through the, you know, Hollywood.

You didn't, nothing was given into you. You know, you worked hard and you were so, when I was at the movie Inside Game, the premiere, and I was with Scott Wolf and Will Saso. I remember you call me, tell them I say hello. They were good. We laughed, they laughed about, they were telling stories about your days out there. I had my adventures will. Oh, he's a funny, fuck. Scott, I knew fucking.

No, they both were talking. I was, Will was just such a funny guy and a gentleman too, very gentleman. Very nice, very polite. Because he played a tough guy in the movie inside game. He played Jimmy Batista. Now he does that other thing, George and Mandy's first wedding.

You see that? Oh, he's fucking great and that. He plays the father-in-law. He's fucking good. But he's a Canuck. He's a Canadian. What? Yeah, April 15th is all I got left.

It's Brooklyn. I don't know what's going. Nashville is the comedy festival, the 18th, so I'm excited about those. You got to get down to the Wind Creek by us. It's not far. It used to be the Sands Casino. I have the deal with parts. Okay. Okay. So you have an exclusive

with them. Yeah, I'm back there again. So you're married to them. Yeah. That's good. I like the marriage. They take care of you. That's all that matters. 42 minutes from my house. But I'm happy you came on. Yeah, I'm happy. Stay black and beautiful. And for you, motherfuckers, always stay black. We had a great episode tonight. Hope you guys enjoyed it. And we'll be back next week. Remember, my surgery is April 23rd.

We're talking about doing a couple fucking episodes. At the hospital? Wild. At the hospital? No, no, no. And that's all we got right now. So I'll see you motherfuckers next week. Stay black.

Uncle Joey, Lee, and Danny Bianculo love you.