Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Getting raided by the DEA with "Myron," retired DEA

Episode Date: March 25, 2025

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt are joined by retired DEA, "Myron." Myron talks his path from finance student, to prison guard, to a decades long DEA career that included countless undercover operations, the process of obtaining and utilizing confidential informants, why money is the root of everything, and much more. Support the show and try your first month of BlueChew for free. Use promo code JOEY at https://www.bluechew.com Support the show & download the DraftKings Casino app. New customers can wager just $5 to get 500 casino spins on a featured game. Sign up with code JOEYSLOTS. Support the show and get 35% off your first 3 NYKD order. Head to https://www.nykdpouches.com/CHURCH

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I love you guys. Welcome back to Church! Yo, we're back like a hemorrhoid. What's going on, guys? It's a beautiful week. It's gonna be tremendous. We got a guest today, a sensational guest. His name is Myron. That's it.

All right? You ever see that bullets over Broadway when the guy would call fucking Chazz Pom- it's just Cheech. But Mr. Cheech, it's just Cheech. That's how it's going to be tonight. This is Myron, a dear friend, family, and as usual, our Jewish friend, Mr. fucking Lee Syatt over there. Definitely not family. What's up, my brother? Good to see you, dude. How was your weekend?

My weekend was great. I had a good weekend in Boston, did a bunch of shows. That's what I had. They went awesome. They called me from the bar, they said it was a nightmare. The bar was, the late show was Saturday, got canceled, so I went and did just a bar in Dorchester. Sometimes you go home and hug mom.

Sometimes you just gotta go home and hug mom. No, I like it. It's funny. It's funny. Just yelling to the abyss. Your fucking trip. You know that? How was your weekend? My weekend was peaceful. It's tough not having fucking teeth. The bridge broke. You gotta get a fucking steak. You're there chewing like a fucking, you know, it's a nightmare. You know, they can't even put them into June or some shit. To June? Yeah, because they have to dig it out and remove two teeth that are still good, two

teeth that go to waste, like fucking waste. And they want like 15 grand a fucking tooth and the insurance, they pay for like the towels and anesthesia and like a cleaning. What else? Without these teeth, how am I gonna fucking survive? But anyway, what are you gonna fucking do? You know, we live, we get stronger and we get better, you bad motherfuckers.

And don't forget Friday, you can't eat meat. Lent, you know what I'm saying? Remember that. Whether you're eating that monkey, whatever you wanna eat, you gotta give it a pass. Nothing! Fuck, and you gotta sit there with the white cape on and look up at the sky and wait for Jesus to touch it.

All right, that's enough for the fucking religious moment. What's going on, my brother? Well, not much. Great to have you here. Thank you, thank you, brother. The reason why I wanted to bring you in is because you have an occupation that was one of my favorite occupations of all time, which is being a police officer.

I wanted to be an attorney and then I got four years and that dream went out the window. You know what I'm saying? What was it going to work? Sometimes your dreams just go down the shit. It's always been fascinating to me, like from a regular North Bergen cop to a Hudson County cop to an FBI agent and then the DEA. And I became in love with all this shit, believe it or not, when I watched the first year of Narcos.

I just didn't know that there was a saying when the DEA started, it was in DC, it was a little office over a strip club that nobody even knew they fucking existed. And they went from, just like we did, they went from a big bus with a pound of weed with some sandals, some hippie dude, maybe had some speed, and then they started getting kilos of coke

and then the machine guns came out and it was so fucking surreal for them. Like I don't watch all the bullshit stories. I'll just read. I'll just buy a book at Barnes and Nobles and I'll just read about that whole thing. Even though you came out in 90, the shit storm was a full fucking blast.

You had the fucking New York mobsters going off. You had New Jersey mobsters going off. You had New Jersey mobsters going off You had tons of drugs coming into this fucking area by the shitload And then that's when not really there was still a couple of quail ludes around I don't know. I never did a quail you know, you didn't need to do it. We did ecstasy though We did you're in the DEA. Drug Enforcement Administration, yes sir. So you were telling me you went to Fairleigh Dickinson. Run with it.

So I was in Fairleigh Dickinson. First off, I went to Woodbridge High School, so I'm a New Jersey guy. I graduated Woodbridge High back in 83. I played basketball and I ended up playing basketball at Fairleigh Dickinson. After a year, I said to myself, because we had to be there like a lengthy time during winter and everything, I says it wasn't for me and I just stuck to my studies and I was a finance major believe it or not and I ended up doing you know what I'm about to talk about so I went from being a finance major to basically being a law enforcement guy. I graduated in 1987 from Fairleigh

Dickinson and then shortly thereafter I made my way to the DEA. That was the process started, I believe, in 1990. They had a hiring freeze. So I had to wait like actually started in 88. Excuse me. Let me set that back. I ended up getting hired in 90. There was a hiring freeze for like two years. So I had to wait in between.

Then I worked in a prison, a local, you know, a county jail. So, yeah. What kind of education was that in the county? I mean, it was I tell you what, once they locked the doors and you're in there with 150 guys and you know, you don't have any weapons, you don't have any clubs. And to be honest with you, maybe the guy you're working with, you know, you have two guys in a pod, it might be like five foot six, maybe 130 pounds. And, you know, I was pretty in shape,

but you know, you had, again, you had a lot of people in there. So you had to be on your P's and Q's. You had to, you know, like watch your back, you know, because there was a lot of fighting going on. A lot of people getting shanked. I remember one little story and I'll tell it quickly. This white dude came in and, you know, off to the side, I said to him, watch your sneakers because someone's going to take them.

Lo and behold, about three hours later, I hear, boom, boom, boom. I go upstairs. One of the guys from the pod took a, what do you call those mop ringers and busted them over the head. And I tell you, it was the worst sight then when I saw That I was like, holy shit. You know what I mean? I really got to watch because there was like brains on tile I mean it wasn't that bad, but the guy was bleeding very badly and I was like, holy shit, man Excuse me. They took the sneakers

They took his underwear that Excuse me? They took his sneakers. They took his underwear. They, you know, yeah. But that was my first major incident. That happened quick. So that woke me up. Why did you go from a finance major? I would go to a finance major to avoid doing shit like that. And then you, why did you switch? You know what?

I mean, I always loved numbers. I mean, to be honest with you, growing up when I was a little kid, my mom used to play blackjack with me poker. And I was always good in math and stuff. So I said, maybe I'll be like an investment banker. Maybe I'll be an accountant. So as it ends up, as I get out of school,

I actually did pretty well in school. I graduated top 10% of my class. I'll make a long story short again, I got a job here in Hackensack at United Jersey Bank, which then became Summit Bank, which then became Bank of America. But I lasted like one year, because I mean, the people I was hanging with,

like when I went to work, I mean, it's gotta be fun too. You know what I mean? You just can't go to work in like crunch numbers because you go insane. Yeah, so aren't that fun? No No, I mean, it's nice when you get a lollipop when when you're young and you know, you smile You know if you if you put your five dollars in the kettle when you saw the brains on the wall Did you ever at all think about going back to the bank or I thought about doing anything else? I was man, especially because I had nothing on me

You know, you only have your mouth and and like your mouth and like just your instincts. But I did like, you know, from working inside the jail, you develop a lot of instincts because you can't use anything else but like your brain, you know. They don't give you anything? They don't give you a walkie talkie. You could hit the panic button. But by the time I hit the panic button, it'd take about maybe five minutes before anybody to come in.

So you're on your own. Why don't they give you a stick and not anything? Because they're afraid that if they gave you any kind of weapon that somebody would use that against you. And back in the day when I was here, and I'll tell you, it was Middlesex County, I still have, I think one or two people still working there. I mean, there was always a lot of people in that jail. So like when you came into that particular location, they would put you in D pod and no shit. I think it would probably house like 40 people. But what ended up happening was we had to get all mats to put on the ground because there was so many people breaking the law back then, even now too. But I think they don't allow all those

people in a particular pod. But there was like 160 people with two officers, like checking them. So if something went wrong, to be honest with you, you're fucked. But I used to play games in there with them. They loved me. They called me Robo because I would have like talent competitions, no shit. So what I would do is I'd give them the fucking mic, you know what I mean, the PA and shit. And some of the brothers would sing, some other people would dance, and some other people would do like some comedy and shit. And whoever did the best, you know what I mean? We'd actually like vote on it. And I would give

them two cheeseburgers from the grill, because I bought it in, you know what I mean? From the kitchen staff. So that was cool. It kind of gave you a little respect where they knew that, at least I was taking care of them. Fuck. But then again, they probably, do whatever they needed to do with me, if they needed to. So.

I always loved standup, but where it came to life was when I got locked up. And you just brought up a memory like, one of the nights they showed the worst movies. It was in the cafeteria. And they showed the worst movies. It was in the cafeteria. And they showed the worst, PT-109, like those old, and this is 1988, and they're showing these black and white movies.

But every night, every time that a movie night, the projector broke. There were those old projectors, like old porno projectors. And it would break, it would break. And I don't know what happened I think I now in my mind I see the guard. He was a chubby dude. Yeah Little tanned he was we wasn't Spanish. He was something else And he came over to me and he goes you love talking shit in the kitchen. Why don't you get up on stage?

Why don't you get up on the table? Yeah I was like, I don't know. And then I heard some of the black guys saying, get him up there. Get him up there. How old were you, Bob? I was 25 years old. Yeah, see, I was there in 88 too.

That's when I started. No, but I was in Colorado. Oh, okay. Oh yeah. That's a little different than Jersey. I was in a complete different fucking state. But it always stuck with me. In fact, I was just talking to somebody about

the confidence I got doing whatever I was doing on Wednesday nights, it was like three months of it. And I was doing everything then. I was a Jamaican, I was the attorney. I was the fucking house attorney. So if you got into a beef, I went to see the little judge with you and we cut a deal.

You gotta do laundry for eight weeks. You can't eat bread, you know, shit like that. And then I took over pretty much the entertainment. Yeah, that's a good thing. So we would go in, but it's really weird that I didn't forget. I knew I always did stand up in there, but till you said that you were the guy that did the talent contest, I was like, Jesus Christ, God bless people like you.

Yeah, I'm going to be honest with you. That's definite. I mean, because you get bored in there too, because what's in there? You had a little TV, like you said, they would do that movie night, and then chow time would come up and everybody would go nuts because they want their Slim Jims, they want their Reese's, you know what I mean? And then the meds, all of a sudden you hear meds, meds up, meds up, everybody would run, everybody was on fucking meds. So, you know, it's just the way it was.

And yeah, I learned a lot. On Tuesdays and Thursdays you get commissary. Yeah, and it came with a little brown bag. And people go nuts. You take a shower and shit. You get ready for that motherfucker. But that was a problem. That was a problem, too, because then people would be fucking

heisting people's shit. Give me your bag. Now I've got to go over there. Most of the time I just turn the other way and let them handle it, because most of the times what would happen, to be honest with you, they wouldn't fight, because they were scared. Some of them would, though, and you knew which ones to stay away from. I think in a lower capacity,

like I got four years and I was in Boulder. And right away they told me when I went in, they go, we got overcrowding. You're getting shipped to Texas or Oklahoma. And I'm like, what? And they're like, sit tight, we'll let you know. Then three days later, they came and got me. And I go, where the fuck am I going?

They go, you're going to Summit County Jail. Oh, okay. And I was like, Summit County, this ain't a Jersey. Oh, you're thinking Jersey, yeah. This is Colorado, this is a fucking ski resort. Oh shit. And all of a sudden I'm in a ski resort. And they're like, I go, where's my prison uniform?

They're like, ah, where with the fuck you want? And it was maybe 20 people, 20 of us, but it was like 20 of us. And there were like maybe four guards. And I thought I was locked up. I was going to a state, I was waiting to go to a state prison. And like the first night the guy comes to me and he goes,

Diaz, what do you want? I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, what do you want? I'm like, what are you talking about? He goes, what do you want? I go, commissary? He goes, fuck commissary, we go to Safeway. They were going to Safeway. There you go, you had it good. Oh my God, and they had cable TV, carpeting,

we played handball outside with whatever clothes you had. But I met an interesting dude in there that had a great story and I read his paperwork. This motherfucker got in trouble. He got caught with two kilos of coke. He sold it to an FBI. Forget what his name was, New York City guy. He got in trouble, he got pinched and part of his deal was to buy two kilos with these

two undercover cops inside. Are you ready for what this motherfucker did? He got a house that he knew was already vacant. He set it up inside with a light. He went in and he dug like a little path and he came on. He took the money, the two kilos of coke, and he came back to New York for like eight years. I mean, the guy that they wanted to...

The Feds couldn't find him. They had the whole neighborhood staked out. This motherfucker slipped right through him. It was the FBI though, right? It was the FBI. It wouldn't have been the DEA. No, they let him slip right through. He was there because they caught him eight years later.

And now he was looking at like 28 fucking years. Oh no. Tremendous. This was a great program they ran up there. Anyway, I'm sorry. That's all right. That's funny because it reminds me of something quick that I'm gonna just talk about.

And I won't really mention an office, but we have like 1920 offices. But there was an office that locked up two guys. And let's say this is about maybe like 12, 14 years ago. So what ended up happening was there was a big marathon that most of the agents, and there wasn't many agents in this particular group, that they went to this marathon after they locked the guy up.

And they thought somebody was still with the guy taking care of him. So it was a Friday. You know what I mean? So this guy is in one of our lockups, you know, our cell blocks because what happens is we have a holding tank and then we'll take you like if it was Eastern district or Southern district, we take you to Brooklyn or Manhattan. But this guy, for some fucking reason,

they forgot that he was there. So this guy stayed in, he stayed in the fucking holding tank, no shit, for three days. And nobody was there. So he didn't eat anything, but he was drinking from the toilet bowl. So thank God that we have a toilet bowl in there. But I tell you what, I mean, a lot of you, you're laughing all and stuff. The guy I think come away with like 6 million because there was a massive lawsuit. This is legit.

This is what happened. How do you forget about somebody? That's what, that's what we all said. But again, I won't mention the office and it's my you know, this is what happened. How do you forget about somebody? That's what that's what we all say. But again, I won't mention the office and it's my own people, but it did happen. Six million for fucking toilet water. Yeah, I would do that too. I do that too. Yeah, I might need my own.

I might need my own shit for that. Yeah, I use it to skin cleans it. Yeah. Right. It might even hit. People wash themselves with their own feces. It's a hit. You know, Gloria Estefan is doing it. How long did it take them to start drinking from the toilet? I mean, I think the guy was a little high too. Oh, fuck you.

It was a couple of kilos they got him with. But I think it was like the next day, because I think he was still like yelling for people. And like, you know, like nobody came. You know, he's banging from what he says on on, you know, the toilet bowl is like metal So he's banging on it. You know what I mean? Nobody's coming. They're all at a marathon, you know, they're going like in Vegas, right? So, you know, I'm talking about a division that's close to Vegas, but you know, sometimes shit happens man, you know So what were your three first years in the DA about? Jesus my first my first day. I mean it was amazing. I mean I came in full of piss and vinegar,

I had a nice suit on, so they said you're going to group D22, you know, so I said okay, so I go, I meet the guys, they're all laughing at me because I got a suit on. You know, I go, well, you know, it's the first day, he goes, take the suit off, you know, okay, we're going out tonight. So I go, what are we going to do, what are we going to do, you know, okay, we're going out tonight So I go what are we gonna do? What are we gonna do? You know and there's like ten guys twelve guys to a group, you know, everybody has their own car. You have your own desk We're going to the Washington Heights. Okay, where the Dominicans are so I go let's go You know, so I go in the car with my senior partner and I'm riding shotgun He's talking to me and and we got a deal going with, we have two of our informants,

and they're meeting with some Dominicans, and we got like transmitters going, and everything's, you know, we're watching everything, all of a sudden the hit signal goes, you know, get out, get out, we got to go get them, you know. So now I get out of the car with my partner, and I was in good shape because I just came to the academy, so I was one of the first ones there, and I got one of the guys that went in the bodega on the ground. Everybody else started scattering, because again, you're in the hives. They think you're coming for everybody.

No shit, there was kilos coming out of the window. You know what I mean? Money and shit. And I'm in a bodega. And we're looking for two other guys that escaped. So I left a guy with one of our other guys. And three of us or four of us went off looking in the streets for these guys. We were going to apartments and no shit One of my partner he was carrying a machine gun and he goes take the machine gun and I go

What do you mean? I never was even trained on a machine gun even in the cat We only shot it a couple times. I just threw this motherfucker on my back I remember when I was running it was hitting me in the head. I was like, oh, Jesus, I had like lumps on my head. But we ended up not getting the rest of the guys. But the moral of the story, I mean, it was a fun first day. And the thing I vividly remember, so now you make the arrest, right? You go back to the office now, they're having the new guy process them and do all that bullshit,

you know, taking pictures. Now I got to stay all night with the guy. You know what I mean? And then in the morning, I gotta take the guy to a Raymond. So it was a long day. I think honestly, I probably slept like 20 hours after that to get my energy back, but it was fun. And I was like, wow, this is where I wanna be.

This is fun. I mean, it's not the bank, you know what I mean? So yeah, it was far cry from the bank. So what you're telling me is when you rob a bank, it's the best day of their lives. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. They get some action in there. Yeah, you got to have that. I love that.

They see the manager get bitch slapped. Give me the safe. Yeah. Why does the DEA go and not the cops? Like, why are you brought in? Are they just bigger people? It really depends on, you work, for instance, in New York, I was always in New York. I had to do a tour in DC.

When you're in New York, there's about 20 groups here and each group specializes in possibly something. And then you make your own cases. You make cases based on informants. If you don't have informants, you're not going to make cases. But we did make cases, and I'll get to that later, in Brooklyn without informants. And that was difficult. But I mean, once you get your, we call, once you get your horses, your informants, they're

just setting up deals. And you could do deals basically every night. I mean, you really don't want to because then you're in jail. Excuse me, you're not in jail. You're in court all week long and you got to do other things. So, I mean, it's not like we're doing bigger cases. We are. But we got to remember one thing, too, that the DEA has a lot of money. So in order to make buys, like what I'll get into later on, like if you're with NYPD, the most you're going to do a buy for is like $400 or $500, where I was like giving like like 40,000 to people.

You know, and letting it walk and doing it two or three times. So, I mean, you know. How hard is it to convince someone to be an employment? Cause I think I'd flip immediately. I don't think you can ask that hard. No disrespect, I think you'd probably flip in two seconds. I would offer it immediately.

But like some people, like they act like they're not gonna do it. Was it hard to flip people? I think you'd probably flip in two seconds. I would offer it immediately. Some people, they act like they're not going to do it. Was it hard to flip people? Not really because, let's just take, for instance, in the Heights, when we worked the Heights, we would do crack cases. So there was mandatory sentencing federal guidelines where if we got them with 50 grams of crack, you're definitely doing 10 years. That's a long, long tour.

You know what I mean? So the Dominicans, to be honest with you, because they didn't speak much English back then, they didn't really know what the fuck was going on. So you'd bring them back to cell blocks. They wouldn't talk, right? And they wouldn't talk. And they just like, you know what I mean? And I just say, you know, we'd all, my group would say, let's just take them down. We're tired. Three, four days later, they'd be crying. You know, we'd all my group would say, let's just take them down. We're tired. Three, four days later, they'd be crying. You know, now all of a sudden they're speaking fucking English. You know, I mean to the attorneys, uh, Hey, can you get me out of here? You know what I mean? I go, well,

your time might be lost because like people know you're in jail now. But to be honest with you, um, I was always a decent guy when people cooperated because I feel people make mistakes. You know what I mean? And if you make make mistakes. You know what I mean? And if you make a mistake, you know what I mean? Instead of doing 10 years, perhaps, you know, with the judge's approval and some letters written to attorneys and stuff, maybe they'll do like five or six,

or sometimes maybe they'll do like zero, like, you know, depending on what the circumstances are. So. And can you stop being an informant or are you just an informing forever now? We let you know when you stop. You know what I mean? When you get shot in the head.

No, I mean, and you know what? They come to the funeral. Your son was a great informant. Yeah, yeah. Thanks a lot. He did a great job. He did a great job. But you know what?

Yeah, I mean, some people, to be honest with you, I had people that just came in that just wanted to be an informant because Let's just say you were doing a money case. Okay, meaning like You're looking for like a million dollars. You're looking to do a reverse on somebody instead of buying cocaine You're saying you have cocaine or you have heroin, right? If somebody shows up, let's just say with with, you know, two hundred thousand stuff Okay, and we come and we lock you up.

Federally, it's a conspiracy. You're still going to get hit for what you were negotiating for. But what ends up happening is we collect the money. Now, if the informant was not a defendant informant, we would put him in for 25% of that cut. So for instance, I would cut a check, not me personally, but it would come from headquarters maybe six months later. That person might get like 60, 70,000. And let's just say you're doing a million dollars. Let's say you're doing, I had informants that made more money than probably my

whole group. And you know what? It was like, we'd be like, motherfucker, maybe I should just stop and become an informant because here I am not making peanuts, but you know, you know, these guys are making real money, you know, so. I didn't know they got paid like that. That's pretty cool. Yeah. You can put them in for 25 percent. Like I said, some guys would just walk in and say, hey, I know somebody who's got money and you take it from there and we're not going to turn them down.

So, you know, it was fun. It was I tell you, it was a blast, man. I wish I was back there. You know, I mean, still doing it. But I tell you, the commute for me, and I'm talking about silly shit now, but the commute was horrible because I lived down south, you know what I mean? So every day you'd have to make that trek down. Sometimes 9.30, 10 o'clock at night, you're looking like the fucking Holland Tunnel is jammed up. And I'm like saying to myself, what are they doing, waxing the fucking tiles again?

It's like, you never got home. It was hard, especially if you had kids. Now, when did, before you started making buys and all that stuff, do they actually train you? I mean, you really can't train someone to make a buy. I mean, we had like undercover classes, I mean, which is silly over at the Academy. Most of the people, I'm going to be honest with you, and I'm not trying to tap myself on the back or whatever, but for a white guy, I did a lot of undercover, you

know? And I enjoyed it because I don't mind getting in front of people and talking if I don't know them, if I do know them, I don't give a shit if I make a fool out of myself, you know? And a lot of people asked me to do undercover for their cases. So I've, I've done, I did a lot, you know what I mean? Um, and that was fun. That was the best part of the job for me doing the undercover. I frankly didn't like doing surveillance cause you know, you'd have to sit on somebody for 10 hours. You might not see shit, you know, maybe hear a dog barking in the place or maybe the guy finally leaves his house, but he goes to Burger King and goes back, you know, but you need a surveillance,

you know what I mean? You gotta, you gotta keep eyes on these guys to see, you know, what they're doing, who they're meeting with. And a lot of these guys are night house. So, I mean, a lot of times you got to stay there a long time. You just don't you just don't leave. You know what I mean? You got to leave when the boss says go. And if you had a good boss, sometimes you let you go a little earlier.

But, you know, tough to have a marriage with that job. It was rough. I get my. Yeah, I gave my wife. Obviously, you know, Denise, I mean, a lot of credit because we had two sons and, you know, they were in school and she had to do everything. And, you know, by time I got home, I tell you, she had, you know, food on the table, you know, even if I came home late. So and then the kids would be in bed.

So I missed a lot of the kids, you know, different things that they were doing with sports or with school, school functions, their friends. I missed all that. And that's, that's horrible, you know? So. It's just crazy because for years, as George knows, I'm a Miami vice fan. Yeah. Like so was everybody else my age at the time. And I remember like guys going to buy 10 kilos and not doing a line of coke Yeah, like just looking at it with a tube and yeah

We're giving the money and the guy would leave him like bitch. I gotta see you do something like that's always been my thing like yeah, and then I got locked up and the It's a federal case. Okay, so they arrested me for like three hours and they put me in a federal bin in Boulder. But I was in there with some dude who I'd never seen before. He was dressed like he was going to a fucking Michael Jackson party. This motherfucker had like a tuxedo on. The tuxedo was loose. Like Elvis, not Elvis, but like Tom Jones.

He would let the tuxedo top on. What's new, pussycat? Fucking guy with beautiful sharp hair, moose up. You know, you could tell he had done coke for like four days. And we started talking and, you know, I go, what happened? And he's like, dog, this is the wildest thing. And we just started talking, talking. And he said that he went

on a trip with a girl and another couple and on the way back that guy was a fucking undercover fed mm-hmm but he goes he was doing coke with me line for lines and I'm like yeah the guy was bullshitting man but then you watch a movie like Rush. I know you've seen it. Yeah, yeah. I try not to watch him, but I tell you what, I enjoyed Narcos and stuff like that because...

No, not Narcos. Yeah, yeah, no. The movie with the guitar player, the crazy piano player. He dated Cher, George. He was the piano player in that band that does the Allman Brothers. Did you ever see that movie? I probably did, but it's not coming to me right now.

You know, it's probably- It's a movie about, he's like a kingpin somewhere, but the moral of the story is Jason Patrick, Jackie Gleason's grandson, and the pretty girl from- Fast Times. Fast Times. Fast Times. Oh yeah.

And they're become undercover agents, but their boss is Sam, whatever his name is, and he just tells them, you gotta get high with these people. And these guys go off the fucking deep end, and then they go to a rehab, my attorney go to court. They look like, you know, Johnny Verrucci,

and there's no blood test, there's no, they piss positive, they shave their head. I don't know Yeah, you know, have you heard of this shit or is this just jailhouse bullshit? No, I mean like he says it is probably a story but like when I was doing my things or anybody does their things if you're dealing with like legit businessmen because you know, You might be thinking about maybe some mutts on the street You know what I mean? Some kids or some but you know with the DEA most of the times what we were dealing with normally,

I mean you'd have to start low sometimes. You're talking... these are businessmen, Colombians, you know what I mean? Mexicans now, right? Whether it be the Italians. So I mean these guys ain't really doing this shit. So like when I was posing and doing some of my things and stuff, I mean nobody would even ask me that and And I met some pretty top heavy people. And you know what? I would just be like, if they asked me, I'd be like, get the fuck out. I don't do that shit.

You know what I mean? I just make money off it. I mean, that's just poison. So could be stories. I know with the DEA, that doesn't go down at all. But again, it depends on who you're working. I would never go, although I have done this. I mean, you're not supposed to go in people's houses

and stuff like that or in apartments or nightclubs and shit. I've done that on a lot of occasions. You gotta go to a nightclub. Yeah, but they don't want you going in because then surveillance doesn't see you. I mean, I have a story, I don't even wanna, I have so many stories. I mean, like on the way home,

there's a club, you know, where people hang out. And on the way home, before you go home, you stop and then get a drink. See what's going on in your neighborhood. I thought it was like that. No, I'm talking about like if I'm going even to go make a buy and shit. I mean, it was times that, you know, I would go and be honest with you. I have a drink or two before I go in and make a buy. And, you know, I'll tell you, I'll give you one quick story. I don't know how it's going to come out. My memory is a little sharp, but one of the guys from DEA was working this

guy. He was a Russian guy. He was a big motherfucker, about six, five, three, Hyundai. And I didn't know him from Adam nor did the DEA agent that had the case. But apparently he killed a cop in Queens, you know, sort of like, Hey Myron, you know, I'm like, what? You think you could try to meet this guy? I'm like, you know, you haven't informed him? No. You have a phone number? I got a phone number.

So I ended up calling the guy, you know what I mean? Just out of random, just say, fuck it. Let me, let me try it. I forgot the guy's name. I believe it might've been Steve or whatever, but he was a Russian kid. He didn't speak full English. And I'm like, I call up, I go, Hey man, I know you from somebody from somewhere. And you know what I mean? I know you're over at the, it was the limelight with Pete Gation and stuff. Cause to

be honest with you, our office was right across the street. So we would watch it a lot. And he ended up wanting to meet me based on, you know, I don't know what the fuck I said, but we ended up meeting but Again to make a long story short. He wanted to meet in an area Maybe it was about six blocks away and I got there early with my surveillance team and I says man I'm here early. I'm by myself and I'm like, you know, I'm a little nervous too because he's a big guy He might have killed this cop and it was a it was a big story back in the day the cop in Queens who got they come up to the car and they pull the trigger and they put one in his head.

So I got there early and I'm like, fuck, I'm looking around for a bar or something. So I see one and I go over to the bar. Now everyone's watching me, I didn't give a shit. I go to try to get in the door, the guy goes, you can't come in here. I go, what do you mean? I said, I want to get a fucking drink. He goes, you're not allowed in here. I'm shaking my head and I go, why? You know, I'm looking around though and I'm seeing something a little peculiar. You know what I mean? Cause there was nothing but guys in there, you know? So what ended

up happening was now the guy calls me and says, are you here? I go, yeah, I'm here. I go, he goes, where are you? I go, well, I'm by this bar. I go, but I can't get in. He goes, I'm inside the bar. I go, really? I go, he goes, try to come in now. So I go back. They let me in. It was a, it was a gay place. You know what I mean? With all guys in there. I mean, it was crazy shit going on. I can't even recall because I was like a little nervous to meet this guy and he was big. He met me at the door. He went to everybody, but there was guys on the bar like, you know, shaking and everyone's drinking shots. They're all dancing, bumping

with each other. All of a sudden he goes, come on downstairs. Now there's all marble going down these stairs and I'm going to myself, motherfucking Myron. I'm saying to myself, you're by yourself, man. I go, I gotta go. I'm fucking ready in here. So I follow him down there and I stop at the end of the stairs. Now he goes in a urinal, you know what I mean? And this guy is huge. I don't know how he got the fuck in there.

You know, because he got to squeeze in there. It was like Superman and he's in there. Now I'm like, I'm a little nervous, you know, and I don't normally get nervous like that. He opens the door and he goes, come on in. Now we're in a gay joint and I'm not trying to pick on it, but I'm thinking, what's this guy going to do? Is he going to do something to me in there or whatever? I'm just thinking crazy thoughts, you know?

So I go in there and he goes, you got the money? I go, yeah, you got the money. He goes, the stuff's underneath the toilet. I looked at him and I go, I'm not fucking bending down to get that shit. I go, go get that shit and give it to me like a fucking man. You know what I mean? But he was nervous too. I was nervous. We ended up doing the deal is the moral of the story. You know what I mean? When I came back out and I went back to the office, everybody was pissed at me because I went inside, but I did the job. But again, those are the kinds of things you don't want to do because a couple of our other

agents like namely, and I'll mention one that I had a case was Everett Hatcher. I don't know if you all remember Everett Hatcher from Staten Island. Gus Farachi was going bananas there in Staten Island. There was a movie made about actually Tony Danza played Gus Farachi and he was out of control and he killed our guy, excuse me, Everett Hatcher was doing undercover and something happened. I don't want to get into it, but the guys lost him and he ended up getting killed. And basically what happened after that, which was obviously very sad to see somebody getting

taken out like that and that somebody could actually do something like that over drugs. But I guess Farachi was just nuts. So what ended up happening for like a good six months after that, we rode them, all the guys, the Italian guys, every fucking family broke down their games, did everything until somebody came up with where this guy's at, Farachi. I don't know if you saw the movie. There was a movie, yeah, I remember. Tony Danza played him.

I think it was Tony Danza. He plays all those movies. He was in another one of ours, a Mob Over Miami was another movie that was made about that Chris Ludwitson kid who was dating Madonna. Yep. But he had issues that nobody knew. He opened up a club in Lauderdale.

It was Club Liquids. Liquids, yeah. It was one of the biggest clubs. Monday night. Black cat, pussy cat. On Monday night, I went there once, they gave me a cock ring. On a Monday night, I went there with some people from the improv. I was in shock. I didn't even know what a cock ring was. I ain't gonna lie to nobody here. I was like 40 years old, I had no idea. That's how deep they took it. Let me tell you how hot the club was. On Monday nights, it was very tough to get a plane ticket out of Newark or LaGuardia

to go to Miami. And that's how hot it was. Now even today, Miami's hotter than Vegas. It's unbelievable. But yeah, that's a whole other story. Where is Chris Ludwig now? Let's get to it. Last I heard, he had a pizza place two miles from me.

He might. I mean, like I said. He opened up two restaurants in LA again. And let me tell you who else he dated that everybody forgot about. I know who. I know Sophia Vergara. Vergara. Yeah.

But you know who was also in that mix was Sandra Bernhardt. Back in the day, obviously Madonna was the shit. And this kid, I think, you know what, and the reason I noticed, because what ended up happening was we did a lot of cases and sometimes when you do too many of them, you give cases away. I had given that particular case away to another guy who worked it, but I still was involved with it. But he was like 23, 24 years old. He was running Miami. And he had a lot of people behind him that were mob guys, but he was a tough kid. He was hurting people in his clubs, if they disrespected him. And he did get a lot of respect there

until what ended up happening was his history came back on him, you know? And that was, he did a push-in job in Staten Island with this other kid. What's that? What's the kid's name he did it with? Well, I mean- One of those just got out.

I better tell you, I'm gonna give up names. There was one kid, actually all three of them were there. I think Paciello, then he changed his name to Ludwig Sin because I guess he broke off from his father. I mean, he was with another kid by the name of Reynolds. He had Reynolds or something. No, it was Tommy Reynolds. And then there was somebody else. Again, I had dropped that kid. The guy just got out of jail, maybe a month ago.

But they did a decent amount of time. And I tell you, it was horrible what these kids did. They knocked on the door in Staten Island because they thought there was like, I think, 300,000 in a fucking cereal box, whatever it may be. And the lady come to the door and her husband was behind her. And the kid, Reynolds, just come, boom, and shot her. And Jesus, man. So that's what came back to him, you know, where, you know, he would have been gold there in Miami,

but he had to do his time. And I think he ended up doing 16 years maybe, or I'm not actually sure, you know what I mean? Because I didn't follow it. Again, you can't quote me on some of these things, even some of the names sometimes, because it's been a little while, but yeah, you know. Did anything like that

happen when you are undercover like anyone pull a gun anything like and what do you do in that situation? Well thank God nobody ever pulled a gun like like I said because I never would have a gun on me because when I worked a lot of these mob guys and I worked some older guys from the French connection day and that's when I was getting that given $40,000 and letting it pass I let it walk three times that's how much was getting that given $40,000 and letting it pass. I let it walk three times. That's how much the bosses loved this case because we got involved with some good people. But when I started meeting these guys, and I'll mention, and this guy just did, he did

more time in Connecticut and I think he just got out again. After we locked him up, he got out, he just likes to be in jail, I guess. I guess he likes the commissary, the slim gyms and shit. But I was meeting a guy by the name of Frankie Cattino and he was an old, old fucking guy. And I would meet him at a place called La Magnette over in the city, which was on like 53rd and 2nd Avenue. And I tell you, that was a fun case because I'm kind of losing myself here because this case initially was handed to us through an informant

From Jersey actually, you know, and I'll say he's dead now Joey Eppolito was was Was the informant and I got to give props to you know My partners and the case agents on this on all these cases I'm talking about one is Eric Stangby and the other one is Robert Brizell, Larry We're you know great agents and we did a lot of things. But yeah, I was meeting this guy at this La Magnette and they would patch you down right away. So if you had a gun on you and shit, it wasn't working.

They would pat you down for wires. And I remember I used to bring a whole lot of cash into La Magnette and I felt like a king because I really didn't have that money, but I was taking it from the government. So I remember the bartender, she was a good looking girl, you know what I mean? And she liked when I come in because I'd say champagne, boom, boom, get this guy this, whatever. And I'd always give her a good tip.

But that's when I first started meeting, we called him Herbie, Frank Cattino in La Magna. And that was a big case. He was involved with the French Connection Day. You remember the French Connection? Back in the 70s, that was the boys from Pleasantville Avenue. Elvis Presley sung about that. What was the name of that song? The Purple Gang. You know what I mean? So that was fun.

Because I was meeting with three or four guys at that time, and that case took about a year. And it all came from that one informant who now, unfortunately, who ended up, to be honest with you, he was a really good guy. He just made some mistakes. And he was involved with OJ Simpson and back in the day. That's how popular this guy was. He was a very cosmetic person and his father was big in the mob too.

His father was Joey and Joey was a big marijuana coke guy. So he's the one I had to actually meet his brother while Joey was in jail. I met his brother in Point Pleasant for like a weekend to go over our game plan because I had to remember all these people because I was supposed to be like Joey's guy, you know, and that took over. So I was spending a lot of time with them and then they set me free and for like a year and a half we went up on a lot of wires. We locked up a lot of people again, Rob Brizilleri and

the group, he did an outstanding job. And we actually got into the heroin was coming from China. And there's a big difference between heroin, there was Afghani heroin, there's all kinds of crazy heroin, there's Hillbilly heroin, but the shit from China, man, when he brought that shit to me, we always met at La Magnette, I'd say to him, hey Herbie, I go, you got it, right? Because we'd be sitting having some pasta and shit, like on a little table outside. And I vividly remember, I could smell the heroin, that's how strong it was. And I'd give him the 40,000, he'd give me the fucking brick, and we'd go. And that was that.

And we did that for a year. I made three or four buys into him. So we spent the loan, just the money, you know, due to multiplication, four times four, that's 160,000, right? But we ended up getting good players, you know. Again, I can go into a lot of other names and stuff that maybe you all know or maybe you don't, but they were like, this guy was related to like captains from the LeCasey family, you know, and a lot of high,

high level people. So, yeah. It's crazy how many of those guys made millions of dollars. Well, this guy. Yeah. But you know what? The funny fucking thing about it is this guy Herbie, he looked like honestly, he looked like Mr. Fucking Padu. You know, he was skinny. He had no fucking hair. He hardly had a car. So like, for instance, he had the juice enough to get the heroin.

But these guys like that, and you'll see a lot of guys, like they don't really have the money. They're not really the businessmen. So this guy would do whatever he can to make a dollar. And I don't know what his cut was when he took off the end. But then again, on another occasion, he loved the fact because I was fucking winding down. Then I bought him a warmup suits. I bought, you know,

and I gave him a case of fucking this, it all went together where it gave you like kind of credibility, you know? So that was fun. That was one of my, you know, I don't want to say best on the covers where, but it was like, it was like just fun to do because I didn't have to go to the office. You know, my one big boss, you could wear sweats, you could wear shorts. I'd make phone calls from around my house now, you know, because they knew I was from New Jersey. So that was cool.

Did you ever have to be careful of like, not going to that area of the city when you were just off? So like, like they wouldn't recognize you or that wasn't something you worried about? I really wasn't worried about it. But one thing that happened, and it's a good thing that you brought this up because again, my mind is all over the place. The thing that, the thing that happened in this case, okay, is when this thing fucking went down, we locked up about 20 something people. Okay. And what happened was the undercover is not allowed to be there for the takedown, obviously, because they don't want to see like, oh, you know, I called myself Chuck, by the way, you know

what I mean, when I was doing undercover. So what ended up happening, they did the takedown. And during the takedown, you know, afterwards, I came into cell blocks, and they were trying to figure out what the fuck happened, you know, and all of a sudden,bie saw me and they overheard like someone say, Hey Myron, come here. Herbie goes like this. I can't believe I got did by a fucking guy by the name of Myron. And I looked at Herbie because I had promised Herbie. I says, Herbie, you know, in a week or so stones around, I got fucking tickets.

We're going to go. I says, well, you know what fucking Herbie? You ain't going to the fucking Stones concert either. So yeah, but those were the kind of guys, we locked up, a lot of the older guys, they didn't really give a shit. They didn't mind doing time. You know what I mean? It was like, they go and play probably fucking dominoes or something. But then again, I just found that with Katino, but I'm looking through some articles, he got out after doing 10 through some articles, he got out after doing 10 years with us, he went right fucking back in.

Like a year later, he got caught in Connecticut. He had a lot of ties to the Lucases in Connecticut. One of them was like this guy, Anthony Bawatt. He was well known. He was one of the captains and stuff. They were involved with Jesus Gas Pipe. You remember Gas Pipe? He wanted to blow up fucking MDC. He wanted to escape there.

He was going to do it. You know what I mean? So you can't make this shit up. I mean, when you're on a wire tap, and a lot of times I would be listening like the first wire we did, which I didn't even get into. I mean, the shit that these motherfuckers say on the phone, I mean, you just got to laugh, you know, because they're saying, shh, don't talk, don't talk, you know what I mean? But yet they're fucking telling you everything.

And I'm laughing. And back in the day, I mean, nowadays the kids that, you know, and I call them kids because they are, the agents have everything computerized. Back in the day, I'd be on four fucking phones with our group. I'd be in a chair that had the wheels like this. I'd have to like one phone would be going off. I'd wheel over there right down the cut. The other one's going off wheel over there.

You'd be going nuts because they just talk so much. And that's how you get them. And that's how we did get them. And it was fun. We locked up 75 fucking people on that first case with me and Eric Stangby. Again, I want to mention him because he was my senior partner and it was unbelievable. We started with the beeper back in the days. That's why I says we normally start with informants. We backed out of a beeper. They were beepers back then in Bayridge and Bensonhurst. We backed out

of that and we got 80 fucking guys, man. 80 fucking guys. It didn't stop. You know, I wanted the case to end because it was like, a matter of fact, I'll tell you a story. When we did the fucking takedown, this is just a little side note. I had one group, there was one guy that was doing some shit because of conspiracy in the federal system. You're still going to do the same amount of time. But this guy was dealing low level with this crew, but he fucking lived in no shit. He lived on the Avenue U in a fucking box, like a cardboard box. And we wrote the instructions on to all the people that when you go out and do the take

down, there's like five guys that go do them. We said, yeah, you're going to find this fucking guy, Matt. He's going to be in this fucking cardboard box. And lo and behold, they come back to the lockups after he goes, Myron, you were fucking right. He was in the cardboard box and lo and behold they come back to the lockups after he goes Myron you were fucking right he was in the cardboard box and you know here he is involved with all these other guys and you know so let me ask you this because I get mad at my friends who like will text about buying weed from like and they don't go to a dispensary but they'll be like hey do you have trees

tonight or I'm looking for yeah you ain't cops know what that mean like buying weed from like, and they don't go to a dispensary, but they'll be like, Hey, do you have trees tonight? Or I'm looking for, yeah, you ain't, cops know what that means. Like that, like that's the, they're being stupid, right? Like if they text about it, like, I mean, of course, but back in the day, but nowadays I'm going to be honest with you, man. Nobody bothers with that shit. I mean, like even back in the day, like I'm being like for, for federally, see, we used to do a lot of the Italians on the marijuana, but we would do them on Rico's.

If you all know what a Rico is, you know, you have to have two predicate felons. So they might be doing gambling, they might be doing prostitution, they might have had a couple of murders, and we'd bang them. And that's how, actually Giuliani started this shit with the Ricos. So when you get them, they're doing just about life. And basically they got a flip. But nobody's bothering with that shit. I mean, it would take 1,600 pounds back in the day for me to actually have anyone

do a little bit of time. But when you put that together with other charges, then it makes a difference. 1600 pounds. Yeah, that was the federal guidelines. I think for like, you might get like five years, but not even that because you probably get out, you know, early. But, but we didn't, like I said, we did that as we did Ricos. We put that on top of other charges.

Dude, they scared us so much in school. I thought if I bought like $10 worth of weed, I was going to jail forever. I was scared. Well, it's good that you were scared to be honest with you because you got to fear something in life. I guess so. That's good. But the weed stuff, even now,

everything is different now too. So there's some jurisdictions, like I went out to LA, and again, that goes back to the Eppolito thing, and we were doing more buys from this, it turned out to be the OJ thing, but what ended up happening was, sometimes they wouldn't even want to do the cases if you can get them 10 kilos of Coke.

That's how different districts work. Like Southern District and Eastern District were great. They would do whatever you wanted. But you go out to, like when we talk about now, I don't want to get into politics, but like California is the worst. You could do whatever the fuck you want over there. So I mean, 10 kilos back in the day, they didn't even want it. But because it was a mob case and bosses called bosses, we went and me and and and and Brizzo Larry,

you mentioned we went and we bought off a couple of guys and that was a funny story too. Um, you know, that, that all came back to the OJ thing, which has been a lot of articles, uh, that, you know, when, when, when, when OJ was actually driving that fucking Bronco, he was talking to Cowens and Cowens, Al Cowens called our, uh, informant because he was out saying, how does he get out of town? You know what I mean? So a lot was spoken while he was in that Bronco, OJ. And what ended up happening was the ADA in California didn't want to use our informant. They probably thought they had enough and like maybe he would ruin the case. But as

it turns out, you know what I mean? You saw what happened. That particular case, and I'm going to say it because they called OJ the snowman, because my informant, not my informant, but our informant, DEA's informant, was giving him coke. He was a big cokehead. And then in return, Joe Iepolito had a guy, his name was Charlie Tuna. He would run his business was Charlie Tuna, he would run his business and Charlie Tuna, there's a lot of Charlie Tuna, so again, but this one I remember. But he would actually go and give OJ shit on the arm, but OJ would then hook these guys

up with legit customers that would want kilos in Hollywood and stuff. And that's how I believe that whole thing started with with OJ, you know killing Nicole because she was good friends with Faye Resnick and What it ended up happening was this guy Charlie? I think was there that day and he was starting shit with OJ getting them all revved up about hey Your girl is with this resnick girl their coke heads They were in Mexico with some guys doing coke. And I'm just saying maybe that put him in a rage.

Because he wrote a book that if I did, if I did kill her, I believe he did. But I think this also had a play in it. The drugs was a big play because to kill somebody like that, I couldn't hurt a fucking squirrel. If they were coming after my family, I'm going to take care of my family. But I mean, that was a gruesome murder. So that'd be something behind that. You know what I mean? The way he was enraged. So I heard that two years after that murder, the restaurant Mezzaluna

was closed down because of that. So fucking keys out of that. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I know the informant that I'm talking about, Joe, he owned two restaurants there and that might have been the one. I'm telling you, and I think you're right. That's what they were. But he didn't even give a fuck about that. Like Joey, and I knew Joey well from just meeting with him and stuff, but in regards to, he didn't even give a fuck about his restaurant.

Like he'd have a million of these Hollywood people come in, he didn't even want to talk to him. He was good like that, you know? It was nothing to him. And that's why he said fuck it. He sold that restaurant, but you know what? He ended up getting into problems. He had to face the music, right?

Because he was looking to do 15 to 18 years, he fucking escaped out of jail. That's another thing. And he went back in, but then he decided to cooperate. And you know what? I liked the guy, man. I mean, I spoke to him a lot. He was, you know, even though he did what he did, I mean, he was a nice guy.

And I just talked to my partner the other day and he loved him too, not in a way like I love, but he was a good guy. But like he said before, he died at home and he was able to come home three years. We got him out earlier and he called my partner, prison Larry right before he died and he thanked him, you know, like thank you so much for giving me, um, you know,

the time I could spend with my family. Um, cause he had cancer and he ended up dying. And that was more or less could have been the last person he spoke to, you know? So again, you know, these are people, some of them are real cruel, some of them are real bad and you know the difference. I mean, I'm sure we all know the difference, but some of them are not bad. They just get caught out there doing their thing. Hey, it's March.

I gotta talk about some stuff about DraftKings and some other people. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're gonna take a five minute break and we'll be back, Jack. Hey, Uncle Joe here. Listen, everybody's looking for crazy rewards. And if that's what you're looking for, DraftKin Casino is the right place. They got huge jackpots, weekly bonuses and exclusive games.

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Thank you for supporting our show, and thank you guys at home for watching. All right, we're back, Jack. It's a beautiful Tuesday morning, wherever the fuck you are. Anyway, my man's still here. Myron, I wanna ask him some questions about the Mexicans. Before I ask you a question, Myron, just to be honest with you, I'm a big book guy. And there's nothing I hated

more than reading a book and six years later finding out they turned the book into a movie. And you go there with your dick hard and it's completely different from what you read. All of a sudden there's a sister involved and she's dating the midget in the basement. For sure. You're like, what the fuck did I come from? There's only two books I stand behind.

Silence of the Lambs, there's Just the Way It Is on book, as it is in the movie. Great movie. And there's another one, god damn it. It was just Sleepers oh sleepers. I didn't see that silence of the lambs was a good one sleepers, but those two books everything else I watch. Mm-hmm. I know where I just came from. Mm-hmm. I know people's story and next thing, you know They rewrite it you're fucking pissed story and next thing you know they rewrite it you're fucking pissed but they throw you another million to shut your fucking mouth because you're not gonna have dick, okay?

You told that little mistress you're gonna be in Hawaii with fireworks and a pineapple, that's over. That's over. So now you go, okay, add my sister and make my mother black. It doesn't make a difference anymore And that's it and you don't know it until he goes on a show 15 years from now Yeah, and says, did you know my mother was white? They wanted me to do that for the script Okay, so when I watch snarkles and shit, right I know It's 50 60 40 60. Yeah. Yeah, it's 40% correct and 60%

Made up for your imagination, right? You know, I don't understand them but When I first saw the first season of Narcos, we got a Pablo. Yeah, I don't know. I dove in to reading I didn't watch the other stupid shit on Netflix. There's 82 shows Netflix should just be the Pablo station. Look at it, look at it. Be honest with you, I watched all 82. No you didn't. Just horrible.

Recently, yeah. Horrible. You can tell I live a fucking boring life. No man, but no, no, don't get into that shit. It's just the same fucking Puerto Ricans over and over. Yeah, it's hard to follow it too, man. Yeah, it's hard, you don't know, the best two that I recommend is, I love Narcos until the last season.

He shifted over to the Godfather of Harlem and shifted the bed completely. They just got a bunch of fucking people jumping up and down. The last season is God awful. God awful. Cause I'm telling you, as a fucking fan, you know what happens. It peters out, man. You know what I mean? After a while.

It doesn't peter out. The writers get deals somewhere else. So now it's me, you, and him. We wrote it. We wrote the first nine episodes with Pablo, and we got fucking nine more in the can. They're going to sign us up. All of a sudden, you got a weird bug up your ass. I want to be on They're gonna sign us up. All of a sudden you got a weird bug up your ass. I wanna be on one of those fucking lifetime shows. Really? Really? We just fucking wrote something tremendous. They're gonna double my pay

and I got three kids in college, Joey. But that goes to the original Jackson 5. Now we bring in two other guys. They don't know what the fuck. They just came from a fucking soap opera. We're here trying to write about people getting mugged and gangsters, you know. Lee.

Yes. It's gonna be all right. You want an Alka Seltzer? I do, I need one. It's good, you want some of the- What's the matter, are you sick? I got a little sniffle, I'm good. So I read about it.

I really read about it. And the other show I really like is Hota Hota. I never saw- Have you ever seen that show? What's it called? Hota Hota. No, but I. Have you ever seen that show? What's it called? Hota Hota? No, but I saw, you know what's a good one? If you're talking about drugs,

because that's what I'm here for, to do drugs, but Griselda was pretty good. Yeah, Griselda Blanco. Yeah, I think that was actually, actually DEA locked her up at the end. Wasn't that the guy from Miami? But that was also tremendous bullshit. First of all, the show was gonna be real,

you gotta get somebody like look like me to play Griselda. Well, you know what? That woman was ugly as dog shit. No, no shit, bro, you're right. I mean, in real life, when you saw her. That was terrible. I mean, this girl. I love that girl, I love her.

Don't get me wrong, I love all her work, but that fucked up nose, she looked like a pink panther when he played the fucking Italian guy. He's right though, man, because honestly, in real life she was adorable. No, nobody did her. You did her with a blindfold on, dog. You're crazy. But she had strength, man. She was legit. I mean, to be honest with you, they really were scared of her. She ran a fucking great organization. I mean, I wasn't around for those cases because DEA again did that. I know they picked her up at the end, but they were looking at her. She was doing shit in the Bronx, but she was legit, man.

She made a lot of money. I mean, that's where, like you said, when the times were roaring in the eighties with Miami, that's when everything came back with Miami Vice, the go fast boats. You know what I mean? They were sending shit in planes and just dropping them in the water.

I mean, you know, there was so much money to be made. I've never, there's only two changes that I ever saw that were dramatic. Before I get into it, let me get over here. Yeah, I'm gonna grab a little. There was two changes. You came from Woodridge. Woodbridge, yeah, dude, not Woodridge, yeah, Bridge.

So you saw changes when you were in high school. And especially if you went outside of Woodridge We were raised in this fucking neighborhood, right with your wife. So we saw and all I remember is this We were spending Four dollars a night we would do a hit of acid Split a hit of acid and get a six-pack from Nick's or whatever. Not Nick's that's a pizza joint the liquor store in the corner or something like that. And then, okay, everybody got cooler.

We started eating Kweyloots. Now your night went from $4 to $4. And you drank two drinks if somebody served you. And you were good to go. Then out of nowhere, people started going, psst, come here, come in the bathroom, try this Coke. And you're like, I'm over here, Joe Mary's on Burger King, line up.

What am I, this ain't no discotheque. And you started, and all of a sudden everybody was cool. Everybody was doing a package between four people. Nobody was ODing, nobody was jumping up and down. At two o'clock people were like, good night, good night. There was no drama. I leave for Colorado, I come back, oh my fucking God. People went from going home at two

to going home the next day. Like people started going out on Friday nights and not going home till Sunday afternoon at five. Just in time for mom's meatballs. Like nothing happened. What's up, mom? Where you been? Oh, I gotta tell you what happened.

I went to a car and said, what happened to your head? You know, it was always something. And then it just went for people going out on Mondays and staying out till Thursday and all those Tully Avenue hotels. My friends would rent four fucking rooms. From one side to the other, the end was the Jacuzzi room

and they would just go in there. From Monday, I'm like, the growth of this shit. When I left here, you had to really look for cocaine. You had to go into the city, you had to know a cousin in Union City, something. When I came back, just on any second street, there was three Coke dealers now. All you had to do was walk on Smith Avenue,

and hey, did I tell you I got some Coke? If you could move it for me, you're like, dog, you went to Catholic school. I knew you as a kid, you never even had a beer, now you're dealing Coke? Saw the explosion. Oh yeah, I mean, you know, it's a money game, all of it. It all goes, it's all cyclical. Look how long, I mean, you know, it's a money game, all of it. It all goes, it's all cyclical.

Look how long, I mean, Coca's making a comeback. You know what I mean? And crack. It never went away. Yeah, no, I know. It never went away, we'll fucking come back. Everybody, come on, all these kids with the fentanyl and the heroin and stuff like that,

I mean, that's been big and that's why we're losing, you know, all these kids, really the fentanyl, you know, which, you know, it's a shame because some of these kids to really the fentanyl, which it's a shame because some of these kids might try it one time and it's just unlucky. And you get a couple of little pieces of fentanyl on you and if it's a bad type, you're going to die. And we changed all our rules too with the fentanyl. Once I left and stuff, we had a whole new lab area where if you did think that you got

something related to it, you would have to have special gloves on. It'd be a special room with all kinds of special filtration systems in there. So the game has changed, but it's horrible how these young kids today in their 20s, even older people, are still doing this stuff. And it's sad. It really is truly sad because life is precious. Myron, it's never fucking changed since 1980. This has been a revolving door. I'm very fortunate to still be here. I enjoyed it. I enjoyed going over to Harlem. I enjoyed it. It was just somebody it was who I was for a long time

but Listen when we were growing up people were dying too. Yeah, you know, they were fucking going into the city Whatever and now I wouldn't try anything out in the street. Not even dog when I left, California You could already tell there was an issue in a marijuana dispensary where when you ate this guy's cookies you didn't get high you saw fucking Pluto and for me to see Pluto there's got to be something in that cookie I'd like to I need one of them cookies now no no I eat one of those cookies on a flight to Pittsburgh my My leg wouldn't stop twitching.

I was sweating profusely and my leg, it was horrible. Anyway, fuck that edible. What I'm saying is, what I'm saying to you is that they're putting edible out of that in Mexico. Cause you could, God bless New Jersey. A lot of people are gonna hate me for this. Cause I came here and I was withdrawn on Xanax. And I thought I was gonna walk into a doctor

and go, hey, let me get a script. The guy's like. No, they don't prescribe that shit. We don't give you that shit at all here. And then I had the knee surgery and it was tough to get pain pills. Like tough, like, come on. I just had to, well, we don't know.

We've got to contact the doctor and he's gotta contact CBS, and CBS has to call DC and see if you're on the list. And you're like, what the fuck? And then somebody told me that next time get surgery and go to Staten Island, because they just go nuts out there. They don't give you 28 pills, they give you 90 still. Bam!

We had a group that actually just dealt with that. It was called our diversion group. So if you get a script, that third copy, I believe it's pink, that goes to the DEA. And they can tell by, not that I did, I wasn't in this group, but the pharmacists, the doctors, they were locking them up left and right. And the pharmacists, they were getting like $500,000 cash added to their fucking apartments because that's how lucrative the business was with, like you said, whether it be Oxy's, whether it be Xanax or Deloited, all these things.

So it's a big business. Well, I saw some documentaries that like people who got addicted to the pills would switch to heroin because it was cheaper, which is crazy to me. Yeah, it's true. No, it is cheaper. It is. That heroin is cheaper than a pill. Of course. Remember when we did heroin away? I don't know if we did heroin. When did we do heroin? Don't worry I got the date I got the episodes. I can't see him doing heroin. No I did more than you would think. Just his little marijuana joint man. Let me ask you this because I just moved to New York in September.

And I, I had one guy ask me for, if I wanted party supplies. But other than that, that's it. Well, like paper plates and fucking who knows, but like how much on a daily basis, how much shit is going on in like plain sight in New York? I mean, it doesn't even have to be New York. It's all over. I mean, like you said, I mean, even with the marijuana, the dispensaries, I mean, I got

places in town where I live, you go in there and get what you want. The other stuff, I mean, I'd be honest with you, I haven't been in a big city since I've been retired. I hate to say that. I have no interest in going back to New York, man. And again, that's just me because to be honest with you, man, I had enough of it. I'm living in a small town now and by the beach somewhere and it gets boring, but some of these big cities and the people around them, whether they're doing drugs or something

now, they're fucking nuts. People are nuts today. You know what I mean? Because you got to remember, there's different cultures out there, right? They're coming from different countries. You see what's going on. I mean, actually, a guy I work with who's now in the head of the DEA, and I'll mention his name, Derek Maltz, he's on TV all the time and he's out there in Colorado sending all these guys back to Venezuela and doing all these cases and stuff. But I mean, I'm being honest with those are some dangerous people

I mean, you know, we could laugh in here and be like, you know, but they'll do whatever, you know They'll do whatever these people because they don't give a fuck, you know How we get to the fucking Venezuelans? I don't know. I don't know how we got there that no other because Because what they're doing is they had that one gang from Venezuela now that was causing, they want to start shipping these guys out, obviously. We got a new guy in there, Trump, and he's saying, hey, you got to be legal to be here. They're going after the people that are causing havoc, that are dealing drugs, that have records

and stuff. They're easy to find, you know what I mean? Because they let you know where they're at. They're that dumb, you know? So. But it's crazy how the Pablo Escobar stuff was good to me. Yeah. Like I enjoy it as entertainment.

The one that really got to me was when the Mexicans started selling the weed and then in the middle they go, fuck you. Let's put some cocaine on this bitch. I know what you're talking about. And I went and read up on the people. And I was blown the fuck away with the money they were making.

And they got into it and they made a big mistake when they killed the rest in peace. Yeah, our guy. Yeah, Kiki Camarena. Kiki Camarena, that's a matter of fact, recently he was just in the news. Right, our guy. Yeah. Yeah, Kiki Camarena. Kiki Camarena. As a matter of fact, recently he was just in the news, you know. Right, two weeks ago or something. Because what had ended up happening was they got one of his torturers, and again, the name

escapes me. Miguel, yeah. Miguel. Yeah, and when they brought him to arraignments, you know, they put Kiki Camarena's cuffs on him, which, you know, I mean, you mean, okay, you know what I mean? It's sad that we lost the agent. It was a while ago, but they got them, you know what I mean? And that was a great thing.

And it at least gives the people from DEA anyway to say, hey, listen, we got you guys and Kiki's cuffs are on you and now you're going to do your time, probably rot in jail, which is a good thing. But Mexico is a whole other story, man. They kicked us out of the country for like a year or so because I mean, it's so crooked. Even like when I used to back in the day go to Cancun, Acapulco, I did a lot of fucked up things when I went on vacation. You know what I mean?

I mean, Johnny's over here too. He remembers a couple of stories we did. But I tell you, mean Johnny's over here too. He remembers a couple stories we did but but I tell you man you go out there. I remember I went to this place They says I was all fucked up, you know drinking beers all night I was with a guy by the name of Pete make a long story short go I want to go to like a go-go joint, you know, I was sick of seeing all these young kids whatever I was only 24 and I get in the taxi and they go chilly willies You know what I mean? And I go yeah, let's go they go chili willies, you know what I mean? And I go, yeah, let's go to fucking chili willies.

You know, I get into a taxi, me and Pete, I'm bombed, man. And I'm drinking beer in a taxi and I'm whipping beer bottles out of the fucking taxi. That was stupid. You know, we ended up getting the chili willies. I go to the front door and there's two fucking big Mexican guys, but they were carrying machine guns and they had the fucking bandolier. You know, the bullets all over here. I looked at Pete and, you know, the bullets all over here. I looked at Pete, and I kind of sobered up a little bit.

And I'm like, hey, you want to go in here? Fuck it, we're here. We go in. It was the nastiest fucking bar. They had girls up there. They were nastier than that girl you were, Grisilda, you know what I mean? Grisilda face and shit.

And I remember, I had to take a shit so bad, because I was drinking that Mexican beer. I went in the bathroom and there was no fucking, there was no like doors or anything, you know, just a fucking like, I don't know, something you shit in. I don't even know what you're called. I fucking like just like lowered my ass over the bowl. You know what I mean?

I let it explode because like, I don't even think there was toilet paper there. I don't know what the fuck I did But I know when I got out of that fucking bathroom, I says Pete it was what it's time to fucking go You know what I mean? And I look back at that day and I and I say to myself man that was stupid Because normally what the cops would do they see younger kids and whatnot and it happened to some of my family members They'll they'll pull you over and they'll don't want like what's the average in your pocket three four five hundred dollars, you know

Getting back to it. They don't make no money there. You know that and that's why I They'll pull you over and they'll want like whatever's in your pocket, three, four, $500. Getting back to it, they don't make no money there. You know that. And that's why they don't make no money. That's why they were all crooked. Even Dorn, Pablo, he bought whatever he wanted to buy. He was the man. He owned everything.

You saw the movie. That's legit. No, but I read up on that shit. No, but some of the shit they showed in the movie was a little like, I'll even say, so like with the DEA guys, they weren't doing all that shit. Right. You know what I mean?

You know what I mean? I mean, you know, but they were there and they did a very good job. I forget what the bottom line was. Yeah. The bottom line was just unbelievable. Yeah. It was an amount that you could not even fathom

coming into your home every fucking week. And the more money he made, the more he paid out. He took care, he did what the fuck he wanted to. I remember I was reading something online about him one night that I was just blowing the fuck away. Just the thing that he built his own prison. Oh, that's, that's, and that happened, man. That happened. That's legit.

I was just starting comedy in 91. And I remember it would come up on the news that they're building the prison for this fucking guy. And I remember like even writing a joke. I didn't even know what a fucking guy was. I wrote like some stupid joke and bombed. Yeah. Like he opened up a hotel.

And it was just, it was funny because Boulder, where I was, the county jail was voted the number two county jail in the country. It was clean, sanitized. They gave you cigarettes. They had cable TV. Wasn't like Chili Willie's, man. No, it was not like Chili Willie's.

But I'm gonna tell you just in perspective, I'm a fucking nut, okay? And when you add an addiction to a nut, it's never good. And I'm gonna be honest with you motherfuckers, and you can either believe me or not. I worked El Paso as a comic. The first night they came to me and they said, we're going to Mexico, you're coming.

I was a little apprehensive and I went into daytime and that was enough for me. And then I worked San Diego one time and I went to that side of Mexico and that was okay for about an hour at night. And I'm like, it's time to go. And I like crazy shit, I'm all in. I'm all in for yells in the night and people screaming,

but that was just a little too out there for Uncle Joey. And I just came home and then I went back down there with my wife when we were dating. A bunch of people were gonna go down to Mexico. We got lost, dog. It was the worst. It cost me like $2,000 to get out of there in fucking nickels, because that's all I had.

Every Mexican had nickels. I was giving out nickels like fucking, I swear to God. I just had an ashtray and the center thing and it was all like nickels and dimes because they don't work on the fucking things in that life. The kids would shake you down too over there. Yeah, the kids shake you down. You come out and they go,

chick-a-le, chick-a-le. Yup, chick-a-le. And they start going like this, you're like they're trying to get your fucking wallet. So you got it, honestly, you got a guy going like, you got a backhander, man. Steroids, steroids. And I'm like, even if I buy this, I'm gonna get over.

That's my biggest thing. I'm not a fucking smuggler. I've never been a smuggler. I don't mind. You give me an ounce of weed, I'll take it to Jersey. That's for me. I'd rather get caught than have to be out in the street in some fucking stupid weed store.

Let them, well, the turbines, go fuck yourself. It's 22%. It smells like my dog shit. Get the fuck out of here. I'm sorry. That's all right, man. But anyway. Yeah, so you're talking about Mexico. You're talking about Pablo, right?

I'm talking more about Mexico how they did it Yeah, how they you know went to the Colombians and said we're gonna be a transport. Yeah, they pretty much locked them out It was you know It was fucking brilliant. Like when you look at these guys, it's a shame they became criminals Well, because they were in I mean they were in the right business to make the money, but sooner or later they were going to get caught. If they spent that energy on a fucking legit business, even to keep it to weed, you know what I mean?

It wouldn't have been a problem. But getting back to Mexico again, I was a senior partner too, and I'm going to bring up another name because he deserves it, Pete Gudowitz. He's the one that indicted El Chapo. So I was his senior partner. So if you see when he comes off the plane, you'll see two DEA guys, the taller one with the glasses is Pete.

And he worked hard on that case. And that was a rough case because a lot of people had him indicted, but they always bring these people to the big house. The big house would be to New York. So they gave the, they arranged them in New York. You know what I mean? So, but that was another guy, you know what I mean?

El Chapo. And- That dude was like a fucking magician. Yeah. Was he not? He was getting out of prison with a suit on. Yeah. Like what happened to El Chapo?

We know, sorry. Yeah, they were building tunnels. He was the tunnel guy. Building tunnels. But I did tunnel guy. Building tunnels. But I did see some read something. This motherfucker was buying up land and digging tunnels underneath from the US side to the Mexico side.

Well, he thought about that. That was unbelievable because- All this shit is like, you know, you're like, all right, I'll eat a bunch of pellets and shove the rest up my ass. Meanwhile, this guy's buying a house from the other house and it's like they dug underneath where they put roller skates on it with a fucking thing that you push. A teleno and they push it.

And it gets to the other side and that's it. You know, who thinks it was simplicity. How the fuck could you even think about a tunnel and the way they built it, even to get them out without, I mean, the thing about it is they were making a lot of noise for the prison, so they were all paid off. I mean, you can't tell me that they ain't here and like fucking people blowing, you know, or even, you know, picking shit out. I mean, you know, so yeah, but you know, getting back to what you're saying, like to have the

Mexicans with the Colombians, I mean, back in the day when I first came on in the 80s and stuff, it was the Colombians, especially well in New York, you know what I mean? That's where I was doing my stuff. But the Mexicans are a lot more powerful in regards to, I got to say they got bigger conas, they got bigger balls. You know what I mean? So if you fucked up with the Mexicans, honestly, they were really, they tortured people.

They were ruthless. You know what I mean? You had some Colombians like that, but a lot of times the Colombians would be little, no disrespect, little motherfuckers, you know what I mean? And they come, they got their business suits on. You know what we used to do to the Colombians back in the day? When I first came on, we would go to Queens, right? And they would have all pay phones.

And we would know what pay phones they used because they had so much fucking money from Pablo and stuff. You know what I mean? And we would know they would be carrying a suitcase. So we would just randomly go up there, take their fucking suitcase, and what's in that suitcase? $2, $3 million? And you know what? Once you took it from them,

they just fucking ran. We'd let them go. You know what I mean? We'd just take the the money and again, it goes into, you know, a big kitty for the Department of Justice and stuff. And never did. I never did anything fucked up. Like, you know, try, there are guys that did do that, but you know what I mean? And they got, a lot of them got caught, but you know, there was a lot of money. And then the problem with, with drugs is what do I do with this money? Where does it go? Because me, you guys like us and shit,

I don't know what people make here or whatever, but you got a couple of dollars, you feel good about yourself. Imagine having enough money to fill up fucking three of these fucking places here. What are you gonna do with it? What do you do with the money? You don't even know where to put it.

That's why, I mean, even now, they have the Chinese laundering their money. And what the Chinese do, and you can see it, is they've been buying up a lot of real estate. You know what I mean? And it's crazy because think about us going to China and getting real estate and buying a house or something. It ain't happening.

You ain't coming to China. But yet, politically here, we let everybody come here, unvetted. They come in and they're buying places with this illegal money. And- They're growing weed, brother. Yeah. They're buying it farm. Yeah, they're growing by military- They're growing fucking with this illegal money and- They're growing weed, brother. Yeah. They're buying farms. Yeah, they're growing by military-

They're growing fucking weed, right? They got it down to a science. I mean, this is happening. Yeah. And nobody gives a fuck, so I'm not smoking weed no more. So you know me, I'm good. I'm not smoking that commie weed. I like Chinese people, I'm cool, but-

Yeah. I like the lunch specials, man. You know, it's really like that dude that they just brought back. He was one of the leaders. That's the dude that was in charge. And it's so weird looking back at it. And it was, this was 30 years ago.

This is like, you look at this shit and you go, wow. I kind of remember this. Like I remember the bust in Stockton, that big bust in Stockton. I kind of remember that. Yeah. And me going, somebody's getting backhanded right now. Yeah. That's a lot of fucking coke in that warehouse. Oh, yeah. I mean, you got to think about it like this, though. And I'll tell you, you got to remember all these products,

whether it be heroin, coke, marijuana, they're all plants. So we had groups back in the day, back in the 80s, we called them Operation Snowcap. Matter of fact, we lost some guys come out of a helicopter and whatnot and they're plants. So what happens when you fucking exterminate them? They just grow more. You know what I mean? So it's like you really can never stop it because you remember they're plants, right? I mean, you know, you just got to find a location and, and you know, whether it be Coke, right? Coke or paste and you know, every way they make it and the heroin, I mean, it's all kind of heroin, but you're always going to, it's always going to be there. Like you said, like you were thinking about, you were saying about, uh, it's going on,

you know, it went on back then too. Yeah, it did because they're plants or they're always going to be available and you're going to always make money. You're always going to make money on them, right? You're going to. Because we have a society that really wants this stuff, like even alcohol, you know what I mean? I know I'm getting off tangent here a little bit, but it's the same thing. People get addicted. There's addictions, you know? And sometimes it's hard to break, you know? You know, I remember Lee asked a question before, and I'm going to answer it. Lee, one of the main reasons I left this area was because how far are you from New York

City right now? 10, 15 minutes? I was 15 minutes away from any drug I wanted to buy. At whatever time you wanted to buy it. If you want something at three in the morning, you'll find it in New York City. You don't have to walk a few blocks. You might get mugged. But you'll find it.

That's great. And that's the scary thing to me. In those days, from keep going over there, you bump into more and more people. Who are you going to bump into more and more people. Who are you gonna bump into in New York City at 3.30 in the morning? You're gonna bump into a stockbroker or a fucking army recruiter?

You're bumping into people trying to fucking scam people. And now you're talking to people like, hey dog, if you ever need a 45 or any guns I got you. I'm 19 years old and you're asking me if I wanna buy a fucking gun. Now that sits in the back of your mind. If I ever get into a beef, I'll be over the bridge getting a gun for a buck and a quarter, whatever the fuck it is. That's how accessible that city was. I can't imagine what it is today. I got to guarantee that there's not as many spots as there

were when I was growing up, but there's gotta be something happening in Washington Heights. Oh, yeah. And there's gotta be something happening in the Bronx and all the other things. It's not as visible, but the scary thing is downtown. Really? Because downtown, I know a guy named Tony, that's what he tells me his name is. Downtown, I know a guy named Tony, that's what he tells me his name is. He tells me to send me his driver's license,

as long as his, that's his address. From now on, I'm your delivery guy. Call me 24 hours a day, something will be there in a half hour. I will send you a menu every day. You will not look at the prices. You're already paying $4,000 a month for rent. You're already going dead anyway. You might as well pay the prices. He's going to have an eight ball of coke for you there in one hour, the best shit you ever bought.

That's the business that that's what I assume. That's what I'm assuming that there's got to be an app now. I ain't that fucking, you know, I'm an old man, but I'm just thinking about some Chinese kid in the city that loves to jump up and down with the lights and all that stuff. He's got an app somewhere that you buzz, this guy gets buzzed here, and every day the code changes. That's how slick these kids are today. Don't tell me. the kids are so slick. I mean, that's like, but it still goes on in the heights.

I remember when we first started doing the heights and, you know, it was just easy. We had a lot of informants and make a long story short, man. They had the kids working on the corners with walkie talkie. So as soon as you came on the fucking block, they know you're five. You know, they know you're whatever. So we used to do is get like maybe a Spanish guy. I'd be in the back of a van He'd park the fucking van the van might say like painting or plumber or whatever and I'd sit in the back of the van

Like they wouldn't think anyone's in there So then you could take pictures and see what's what but the kids even at the ages of 11 10 You know what I mean in the stash houses I mean we had special guys that used to basically know how to Infiltrate any kind of special trap they might have because it was like really fucked up, you know, really crazy traps that these guys think of. I mean, unbelievable. You know what I mean? I was there the summer of 93 When there were kids on the roof and the cop was walking

A uniform cop and they dropped the bucket of spackle on him. I'll never forget that. And I remember it was tight, but it's interesting. In 1993, I used to go to a place. I mean, it was like stealing. You just had to get over the bridge and you made a left and you went right in that place and you double parked your car. Cops would even go right past you. Yeah. Beep beep and you parked. Somebody went into the building. You rang the bell, five oh three, come on up. You went on up there and there was a guy sitting

there with a gun and a bag of blow. Two bags of blow. Yeah, one was for 25 a gram and one was for 35 a gram He gave you a taste of it and you had to make your choice If you busted them, that's all they had on them was two ounces maybe a little less at that point They're gonna be out in an hour these guys. They already had it down to a science, you know Now I see these wheat stores that open up in LA and they put their whole inventory on the wall. When the feds show up, they lose everything. And I'm like, those Colombians had a point.

They only showed you what you needed to see. You need that? Give me 10 minutes. And they make a call and it's around the corner, hidden in somebody's fucking Corvette or whatever the fuck it is. Oh, it's difficult even for us It was in regards to trying to find you know, where to stuff is first off. Everyone's a bullshitter

I mean like I got the money I got the money nobody had the fucking money You want to see the dope first, you know, I mean whether it be coke heroin or whatever and that's the games We would play I mean sometimes we would flash them I actually was given the guy 40,000, but sometimes we would have like flash rolls But really like cops only flash money, you know we would flash them. I actually was given the guy 40,000, but sometimes we would have like flash rolls. But really, like cops only flash money. You know, that's what I always say. Like, for instance, a cop would show you money, like to think he's legit.

But the real fucking bad guys, if you're good, you get the shit on the arm. You know what I mean? Like, for instance, like, you know, if you got juice, I'm going to get you're going to give me 10 kilos, you're going to trust me. You know, so I mean, just like that. Well, yeah, because it's not not a lot of people trust anybody. I mean, even today or back in the day. I mean, I'm talking 10, 15, 20 years ago.

Yeah, we you know, it was hard to do these cases. You really had to have good people that infiltrated these organizations, whether it be the Heights, whether it be the mob guys, whether it be the Mexicans. I mean, you had to have like serious guys that had connections, you know what I mean? You just can't go in there and, you know, do whatever the fuck you wanna do. No, it doesn't work like that. People don't trust people, you know?

But you know, money does talk. You know, what's the old saying? Money talks, bullshit walks, man. You know, like I said, when I was giving them the 40 Gs and it went the first time, they were like, fuck, this guy ain't no cop. And I did it two more times, three more times, right? He ain't no cop until the end when they,

yeah, motherfucker's a cop, you know? Not like that. You don't even figure it out so that you got the handcuffs on. And once they put you in that cell, not on the drive, but in that cell to wait for your arraignment or whatever the fuck you're waiting on, you just sit there like, God damn it.

I never figured it out. That motherfucker. You start thinking about shit. Where are you fucked up? But you were too high. You were too caught up in what you were doing. You got caught up and walking into the club and there's VIP. You just get caught up and you make dumb mistakes. I did it. That's all that happens. Everybody does. I mean, even the best guys, I mean, we, like I says, in regards to what we locked up, people,

you wait, you wait, you wait. It's like a stock, you know, you're waiting on this fucker. You know, you buy whatever, you buy, I don't know, you know, Tesla and shit. You want to buy low sell. You got to hold it. You got to wait. You got to wait. You got to have patience.

And people fuck up. You know, when you're on wire, you you might have to be on a wire three four five months before they make one fuck up That one fuck up will put you on another line and then you're going bro And then you got a talker and then all of a sudden boom you're like, holy fuck you're meeting with the attorneys You know what I mean? Um, you know, oh we got this amount. We're gonna lock up this. We're gonna seize this We're gonna take that um You know a lot the game is patience too, but everybody makes mistakes Oh, we got this amount. We're going to lock up this. We're going to seize this. We're going to take that. You know, a lot the game is patience too, but everybody makes mistakes. So I mean in the end, like he said, people can go 15, 15, 20 years. They got all the money in the world and then that one day comes and you're fucked.

You know, it's like these guys now you're talking about. I mean, I know El Chapo. You know what I mean? He's, he's done. You know what I mean? His family's done. I think his son tried to come into the business? He's done. You know what I mean? His family's done. I think his son tried to come into the business. He's done now. His wife, you know, it's new people come on the block. Yeah. I mean, it's all done. You're done. You know what I mean? You had your ride and it's over. Did El Chapo get caught because he like did an interview for a movie like about him? It was like something stupid. No, he got caught because, you know, there was some, there was a movie like about him it was like something that was no he got caught because you know there was something there was there was a movie like that but that was

Sean Penn yeah but like that's a whenever I watch a movie like that or hear about something like that yeah to think about someone like building a case against you and you have no idea for like months or years and they're building a case and you just are going about your life as no one even building even building a case. They already had them by the balls. Let me just find them Well just anybody, just like any criminal They were just finding that motherfucker You know what it was not only it was finding but the other thing too is like do they want to give them up? Do they want to extradite them? That's the whole game. You know when we were playing you know when we were

Trying to play nice with the Mexican government and stuff like that, you know still give you some things But then they won't give you everything. Like I said, it all goes back to money. Life always goes back to money. And that's what it is. These guys are making so much money off these guys. Even if you're a top politician in Mexico, this guy's giving you five, six million. You're going to listen to some American DEA guy or some cabinet member.

You know who Lisa Ann has is? Never heard of him. No. No, no, sorry. Anybody Lee Sayan know? No, no, no, no. Trae Colombia. Bye. That's right. Yeah, they don't know nothing down there. That's why, listen, I don't have a passport. And there's times when I still live in LA, people I get you in and I'm like not in a million I ain't going in there undocumented There's no fucking way

They do some nasty shit down there. Yeah, it's cute. You get great burritos. I'm okay. I'm good I just didn't trust it. Yeah, there was something about Mexico and dog. I was a coke fiend and Didn't trust it There's no reason to go to Mexico get coke snorted They're gonna rob you and what are you gonna bring it over that fucking bridge now? You have to do 55 years Just to go you know, leave me alone. I can find in San Diego How frustrating is it from like your point, the agents, the politics of it? Someone gets away because of a mistake or just the politics of it.

Does it piss you guys off? The politics plays a big part. It actually played a bigger part with the... I have a lot of friends that are first grade detectives that are retired now, but the reason why they retired probably like when I retired is when you start locking up people and for instance, they got two guns on them and then the ADA is letting them out fucking like a week later, you know, that that's what hurts. You know what I mean? Because then, you know, like drugs is one thing and that kills people, but you know, guns,

I mean, come on, man, you know what I mean? And you see what happens when these kids or guys go back on the street, they're doing harm and And you know what? It frustrates you, you know what I mean? Because you could take the fact that, you know, okay, I was going after this drug deal, I didn't get them. There's a lot of guys I didn't get, our group didn't get, but you know, eventually somebody will get them.

But a lot of the times they weren't really hurting anybody. There's certain ethnicities, I hate to say, but like, you know, that really will hurt you. Like the Mexicans will hurt you. You know what I mean Like the Mexicans will hurt you. You know what I mean? The Jamaicans will hurt you. You know what I mean? You know, Italian guys, that's business to them. These guys like Sammy the Bull, and you know, I know he's out doing his shows now and you

know, a lot of these guys, they were doing things to their own people. You know what I mean? And you know, you got to expect that in the game, the game of life. You know, if you're going to hurt somebody that's a drug dealer, well, they're going to hurt you back. Is it fair? I don't know. I guess it is.

But when you start hurting innocent people and kids and bullets start flying, that's when you got to draw the line. Like what happened with our agent, Hatcher. This guy, he was out of control, right? And he ended up killing him over what? Because he was high and, you know, he just wanted to do what he wanted to do. I mean, Farachi. And again, me and my partner, Eric Stangby, we locked up the guys that Mario Gala was

one of them on that first case I did and Jimmy Galeone. Now, these guys were the ones responsible for killing Gus Farachi. They killed him, you killed him because of this. And when we locked them up on the drug charges, we also superseded with the murder on Farachi. So they did their time. They're out and I think who knows where they are now. But that's the only guy. I mean, I'll say Mario Gallo was one of the guys, and it's just a name you guys don't

know. But when we locked all these motherfuckers up He was the only guy that basically said to me go fuck myself He's not cooperating. You know what I mean? And I shook his hand and I said like wow, you know, all right I'll leave you to fuck alone. You know what I mean? He did his time the other guys know they right away I mean I was moving one guy and these guys are all over, you know They're all in these podcasts and these YouTube shows that they got these guys hosting these shows and they're talking about mob-related things and whatnot. And I know it's sexy and people like that, but the reality of

it is, man, you know, it's a dangerous game. And it's a shame that, like I said, when you're a young kid and you get involved in this shit and you're going to do 20-25 years for what? You know what I mean? I don't know. You know jail is fucking horrible. I started as a corrections officer. It's horrible to be in jail. You know what I mean? It sucks. You know? Nothing like a man kicking your bed and telling you to get up. Get the fuck up, right? You don't know what that feeling is. We're ready to eat. You know, let's go motherfucker. We'll eat. They would kick the fucking bed and tell you to get the fucked up and put the light on. And your first instinct is grabbing by the neck.

Yeah. And you just gotta sit there and go, what the fuck was that? Yeah. So that was enough for me. But I gotta ask you something. Listen, I don't know why I would have ended up, I loved smoking pot and then the 80s came along.

I'm not gonna blame the death on my mom. I have a mind and I can make my own decisions. But I saw what drugs did. I saw people getting high and taking hits of mescal and drinking, they were fine. And then there were the idiots up, there was always a patch in North Bergen that didn't have heroin, whatever.

But all of a sudden I saw this community just get taken by cocaine. And that's, nevermind West New York, Union City, that was a fucking, that's what they were, they were cleaning it down there. It was just, so it's kind of weird how for fucking 50 years, right, 84, when was Reagan in? The early 80s, yeah.

You know, his wife went on and we're gonna fight the war on drugs. Yeah. What the fuck has happened? It happens quick, man. You know, it gets out of control. Listen, again, it goes back to money. There's so much money to be made because there's a lot of people that are depressed out there.

There's a lot of people that are just in a bad way. And for whatever reason, that might be their cup of tea, whether it's drinking, whether it's this. You're always going to find it's never going to end. Somebody's got to be there. And I'll say like the DEA, NYPD, all other cops, someone's got to be there to make them know that there are repercussions and there is a risk, you know? So you always got, you know what I mean? You just can't let like a lot of people legalize this, legalize that. Nah, I understand the marijuana. I don't have a problem with that. I do at some stages. We'll talk about that some other time. What were you gonna say? No, I was actually gonna ask about that about because there are some cities that have completely decriminalized it. That's it. It's either legal. Who's got the nerve to take a joint off you when you're in a fucking rental car and bring in?

Unless you act like an asshole or have alcohol in your breath, then anybody would bring in But forget about the marijuana. Look at all the synthetic stuff. They're bringing it you got meth that's making a comeback Matt has never gone. Yeah, my buddies are Whatever. Yeah, I got you LA and he told me goes during the pandemic I sold a bunch of coke when the pandemic ended it became meth Yeah, it was met by the fucking ton I couldn't even get in on time because they did make a method in the Midwest with a lot of like Things you can buy at the pharmacy, you know, it's like hillbilly shit, you know, I mean they think actually there's been so many times where

They're cooking they're cooking and they're blowing themselves up You know what? I mean, all of a, someone opens the door and the whole meth lab explodes. I mean, you know, it's nuts. It's nuts, man. It's just, you know, you sit here now 30 years. And listen, I was a consumer. You know, I remember when Nancy Reagan said that, I'm like, man, you better start snorting coke. Because the war on drugs, you better get as much as you can. Because it's real cocksucker, and it never ended.

And then, listen, I really love smoking marijuana. I can't do it anymore. God bless you, man. I enjoyed it. As a kid, thinking back, it just took away that piece of anxiety. Just did something. Made you feel, you turned a button a little bit on you.

I didn't like drinking. I loved that shit. I could fall asleep at night. Yeah. Did I think, I always start buying marijuana is getting your check on Friday. Yeah, getting a bag. Stopping at the liquor store

and then stopping at Benny Blanco's house and getting an eighth for a 90 bucks. Would you say Benny Blanco? Yeah. From the Bronx? Yeah, and putting it in your getting an eighth or a 90 bucks. And putting it in- Would you say Benny Blanco? Yeah. From the Bronx? Yeah, and putting it in your trunk. That was a good movie. And driving home in fear.

Like that you might get pulled over. That was the whole thing. Now we walk into a store, hi, how are you? Let me see your ID. Oh my God. Returning customer or first time? You know what? It's fucking funny you say that

because I'm not going to get into names again. But for someone's 60th birthday party, the first time I ever went in as a DEA guy, I went to a town down the shore. And it's a big place. And long story short again, I go there. I'm a little nervous.

But it's like fucking legit. You can go in there. So no, what does Myron do? He pulls in the parking lot. I'm surveilling the place. It's just legit. Who's going in there? You know what I mean? Okay, I walk in there. It's like you're at Best Buy I Go to the fucking counter. How are you? Where's your license? No problem now go through these other two doors I go through these other two doors now. I'm in a fucking assembly. That's like the DMV

You know what I mean, and I'm behind a whole bunch of people then all of a sudden guy goes like this Over here. I go. Okay. I go. I'm looking to buy some no marijuana for a birthday present You know what I mean? He goes well, I and I go I don't know what the fuck you got it kid What do you think? I don't want to kill the guy and shit He goes well, I would try this and I go, you know, this is the first time I've done This I says, you know, I used to be a fucking DEA guy and we should laugh He goes DEA DE, you get 25% off. I go, holy shit. I said, nice, you know?

But it was like, I'll be honest with you, it was fucking funny because like, wow. You know what I mean? Who would have thought? What's that? Who would have thought? And the guy was like, it was almost like, hey, park clothes, you know what I mean? Like Wally World. Remember that fucking show? It was like the guy looked just like that., park close. You know what I mean? Like Wally World, remember that fucking show?

It was like the guy looked just like that. I was laughing. I went home, told my wife, I said, I took care of him. I got 25% off. Yeah. Plantopia has a driver. You go online, order it, and you go to the window and you don't have to get out of your fucking car.

Yeah, nice. Okay, and then you have to pay cash. That's the only thing they have. They don't have to get out of your fucking car. Yeah, nice. Okay? And then you have to pay cash. That's the only thing they have. They don't have the ATM set up. Yeah, cash is king. But they're open at 7 a.m. for you fucking early birds. Wow. And for you insomniacs, they're closed at 11 and then midnight or one on the weekends.

Are you fucking kidding me? Holy shit, that's big business, man. That means 10.30, you got nothing to do, all of a sudden 11 o'clock, the exorcist coming on, fuck it, I'll take a run to shop right, drive through the weed store, ba ba ba ba. I still can't watch that show, that scares the shit out of me. Which one, the exorcist? Yeah, yeah, that's one that I tell you.

But meanwhile, you see a guy get hit in the head with a golf club and there's blood on the fucking wall. Yeah, yeah, no, that don't bother me, but I'm telling you what. No, that don't bother me. No, the exorcist one, that bothers me. That's a kid I me, but I'm telling you what. Nah, that don't bother me. No, the exercise one, that bothers me. That's a kid I remember. Myron, have you considered writing a book? I know you're retired now, and you can't sleep,

and you won't go to yoga. That's the fucking problem. Did you ever think about writing a book? You need to start writing a book. Yeah, there's a lot of little things. You're an interesting guy. Get yourself a little security job where you just watch a guy walk from point A to point

B. Listen, you're on your own. They start shooting, I don't know nothing. Well, I got to say one thing besides the DEA, you know what I mean? And I know Johnny, I bought a friend over here, Johnny, he could tell you stories. Man, we had the best times in our lives. We always had shore houses. He still had them up until last year.

He just purchased the house. But I mean, the shit we seen and the shit we did is, I mean, I could write a book about that, nevermind the fucking DEA. Now he could tell you stories about fucking vacations we went on that. I mean, what did you specialize in the DEA? Like what division were you? I mean, I was first, we were mob guys. We worked the mob. I did that for years. And then it was just then like a knock around kind of group where we did whatever, which turned out to be some mob guys too.

And then I ran at the end of my career, my last five years, I ran asset forfeiture. I had like 35 people under me. But like for instance, when we do all these cases, long story short, if we take airplanes, we take your money, we take fucking everything, we take horses, we take cars, I can go on, gold bars, coins, stocks, and they all come through me, through my group. And we were going to Brinks once a week, and I kid you not, in the five years I was doing it, every week there'd be at least $2 million in cash that we would have to take to the brinks.

And we'd have to have two or three guys go, so nobody could... You never know, somebody might get a tip on us and try to fucking steal the money. So I ran acid forfeiture, which was a nice... It was a slow down pace, but it got to be too crazy. And then I said, let me pull up the stakes because of the things I said with the, with the way just law enforcement was going. And I, and I've been there 30 years over 30 years. So I think that was enough blood to give.

You know what I mean? I mean, I could have done more, but you know, I was tired. Now I'm fucking tired and I can't sleep. So I might, I might, I might have to take you up on one of these fucking Slim Jim things you got. You'll be out for two days, happy as a pig and shit. I tell you what, as long as somebody wakes me up every four hours to eat, you know what I mean?

I gotta fucking eat. Nah, we got one of those piss tubes that you take home, we'll just push onto the mattress. I like the piss tubes. You asked Johnny before, I had to take a squirt before. He had a can, back in the day when we were on surveillance but we couldn't get out and piss. So we'd piss in like bottles.

I didn't piss in front of your place here if there's any cameras, but I did across the street. Right, dude? Myron, whenever you decide to write a book, let me know. All right. I hook you up with a girl that's really good. Oh yeah? You got some good stories.

Why fucking sit there like a baboosh? Guys like you can't fucking retire. You know what? I've been around you for three hours. I'm like, this motherfucker, what retire? You still got a lot of life left to you. You're not ready to go to South Carolina to sit there.

Although I do like Charleston, it was nice. You know what, I like Hawaii too. But that don't mean I'm flying there tomorrow to sit and look at a beach. I agree with you man. We're not PI 100. We're not gonna move to the beach and arrest people. Yeah, I'm glad I got out of the house.

You got me out of the house. I know my wife probably said, hey, get this fucking guy out of here. No, no, no, no, no. I was just sitting there one day, and I go, I told Myron I wanted to get him on and talk to him about whatever, and here we are. Not blowing smoke up your ass.

You're an interesting fucking dude. I appreciate that. I know you had to keep some of the names and dates, you know, to protect the innocent. Yeah, I mean, like I said, my memory has to be jarred a little bit, but again, I thank you all for inviting me, you're a good group of guys here,

and I tell you what, it brings back a lot of memories You know, yeah, I'm happy we got you. Thank you. We'll give you an edible on the way out and then Panada Good. Nothing with caffeine in it bro. Listen, no Spanish people. They know how to cook. Oh, absolutely You just pass the fuck out. They put Xanax or something Mexican the Cubans put something in there Yeah, you fall asleep eating the Panada. The plonopens and fucking, right, the Valiums and. No, no, they put something in their fucking food, the Cubans. One minute you're home eating empanada,

next minute you wake up at four. And Telemundo's on, you know what I'm saying? People fucking going back and forth with maracas, you're like, what happened? I just wanted to give one little shout out. I mean, because I was talking about a lot of these cases. When we first started bringing the cases to Eastern District, the mob cases, it was an AUSA over there by the name of Jim Walden.

Jim Walden is running for mayor now for New York as an independent. He's a very good guy, very knowledgeable. I wish him well. I just wanted to throw his name out there. He's got his stuff together and it might be a good change to get away from what New York normally elects. You know what I mean? I don't want to get into politics. But the show is all felons. So forget it.

Oh, OK. This is not a good vote. You can't vote when you're in jail. That's it. All he is a felons cover. He is. You know, you have anybody else calling in over here that any other guys, mob guys? Should they call in? Yeah, no. I don't like people calling in.

Oh, okay. Just random people. Yeah. They're fucking crazy. Yeah. They'll sit there on the phones and, I got you. And next thing you know, they're banging on your window.

I've been on the phone for an hour. Yeah. You know what I mean? No. They're probably gonna have some of his empanadas if they find out how good they are and shit. Listen man, we saw, this is my world right now. We saw the Godfather, we saw Goodfellas,

and then at the end of the day, no matter what the fuck you tell me, we saw a TV series that swept America off their feet. You talking about Miami? What Miami? I'm talking about the fucking Sopranos. Oh, the Sopranos. I thought you were going back to Miami.

I'm sorry, brother. For an example, Miami Vice is Miami Vice, but it's like I tell people, in 97, I did a show and I had to send a resume. And the agent called me immediately, and she's like, I gotta talk to you. I'm like, what? She goes, you gotta take North Bergen, New Jersey

off your resume. She goes, I don't really want people to see that. Always go to New York City. I go, all right, put New York City down, it's gonna get me a role. This is when Springsteen was out, you know? All these animals are out. The Sopranos came out, it was completely different

to put New Jersey on your resume. Oh yeah, man, I loved that show. I mean, I never missed an episode, that was amazing. And I'm at the point in my life right now, at least I am, that I think I've seen the best of it. When people approach me for mafia scripts now, if I see Gino or Vinny, the second page goes back. I'm not interested.

I don't blame you. I'm not interested. It's not interesting no more. Give me the mob 2025. You got three black dudes now. You got a Dominican, 80 years of him in jail. The other ones are fat and old. Nobody gives a fuck.

Nobody's kicking up to these guys. They're 80, you're done. If you can't shoot nobody, you ain't good to me. Get the fuck out. I mean, give me something like that that's real. So I just can't, what were we talking about? These edibles are kicking in. The Sopranos.

No, you were talking about the Sopranos and how- The Soprananos were so good. What's gonna match that now? Nothing. What story are you gonna come at me? As a matter of fact, your boy just became councilman in the town next to- I know who he is.

John, yeah. He just, you saw him. No, I didn't. He's all over the news. People, I go to- Yeah, he was legit too. I mean, he was a bad- No, he's the real deal. You know who he was with, right? Yeah, I go to- He was legit too. I mean, he was a bad- No, he's a real deal.

You know who he was with, right? Yeah, I go to the weed store, people are like, you know John, he wants to meet, I don't know fucking John. I don't know no John. He's like the mayor of Ingles Town now or something. That's the best weed store in town, the fucking- Well, that's, how could you believe that? Look, I love John, and I believe John.

But I tell you what, there's 22 guys now running their mouths. Yeah. And 11 of them turned evidence. I mean. And I'm a big fan of Sammy. Yeah, I've seen some of his things. And listen, no disrespect towards anybody. I mean, they did their thing,

but they're doing their thing now. They still wanna be there. They still wanna talk about it. They love it. It's like, you know what I mean? It's in them. No, I stopped by Sammy on Instagram every other day and he's talking to you.

Like it's 1984. So I talked to Paul and I told Paul and you're like, do you think these kids even have an idea what the fuck you're talking about? Try to sell anything Gotti now. You're not going to sell a ticket. People don't want to hear that shit no more. Gotti's been beat up to death.

They're not just throwing mobsters every Sunday. It's the same episode. It's 1998. In fact, when Sammy, let me just cut you off. Sammy, he went back after he got out and DEA, and I know about this because I know the people that were involved with that. You know what happened to him when he went out, when he was in the program, right? He went to Arizona and he got his kid involved with a lot of things and they got locked up

again with that ecstasy thing, which I never even hit on, because I worked a lot of the Russian guys, and that was fucking unbelievable stories with the Russian guys and the ecstasy. But yeah, and another little thing, perhaps if you have me on another time, maybe you don't want to hear my shit anymore, but because I'm getting very dry in the mouth right now. Drink the fucking water.

No, I've been doing it, man, but I've been thinking about that, taking that edible, and that's even drying me out more. But getting back to, we were working a guy on Mob Wives. We locked up my group. I was a supervisor there, but we had locked up Renee Graziano. Right.

And the big person in that is Hector Pagan. I don't know if you looked him up. Yeah, but he was actually, he was with us when he was on the show, if you catch my drift. You understand? But he did his own, then he come out and I think Graziano Anthony, he testified against her father who was a big weed guy over in Brooklyn. So that was very interesting. That's crazy. Yeah. And you could see his shit. A couple of YouTubers did a nice little thing on him,

you know what I mean? That I saw recently. It was pretty interesting. Because I didn't realize all the shit he did. He was actually pretty well liked and he was with big guys. TG Graziano? No, I'm talking about H Hector. Hector Pagan. He was good friends with Joe Massimino, who was very big and, but they all get caught. He ratted at the end.

Well, that's what I'm saying. And he was fucking brilliant at the end. Cause he came out, he said, fuck these hangouts. I don't want you hanging out no more. Everybody's gotta get a job. Everybody. Everybody's gotta get off the corner. No more fucking jumpsuits.

No more gold chains. We're fucking hiding. I have the silver, brother. There's a guy over there, there's a Sergio Takachi. Yeah, we're fucking hiding. You know what I'm saying? And he shut it down for a while, but you're always gonna make big fucking mistakes with cash.

Always. The accountants came in, the FBI forensic accountants came in. You just, my mother's welcome. Get the fucking no with cash. The accountants came in, the FBI, forensic accountants came in, you just might as well get the fucking noose ready. When them motherfuckers come, those are the people that kill Jesus. When they show up, you know, four of those motherfuckers show up,

you might as well just go put the cuffs on, don't even bother. Don't even bother, I'll tell you on the way there. You know what I'm saying? Because it's over, they got their old nerds with glasses, they don't know nothing. They don't even bother, I'll tell you on the way there. You know what I'm saying? Because it's over. They got, they're all nerds with glasses. They don't know nothing. They don't wanna know pussy. They don't wanna know cop.

You know when they got a fucking calculator in their fucking hand, brother. Trust me. And a number two pencil in their ear. Trust me, when they come, dog, geeso, geeso. They come with the chemistry set and it's over. It's over, guys. So once the forensic accountant's come,

just call your mother, tell her, listen, my, it's over. You gotta over, guys. So once the forensic accountant comes, just call your mother. Tell her, listen, my, I told you, you got to get back the jewelry I gave you three years ago because they're coming to get that any minute now. You're right, brother. Man, it's a real pleasure to have you on. Well, thank you for having me. I want to have you on again. No problem. Sure.

There's more stories and stuff. And maybe by that time, I'll have like a book written or something, you know. I would love it. I'm telling you. I mean, I got a lot of things in my mind, but I got to get them somewhere before the mind goes, you know what I mean? You got to run it through an attorney. You got to send it to the DA for clearance and that's a hand job. Yeah.

I don't know if I got to do that anymore because I'm retired. I don't know. I don't know how that works. Out of respect, so they don't call you back in and bust your balls. But it's pretty interesting. This is the most interesting thing I'm going to tell you and then know how that works. Out of respect, so they don't call you back in and bust your balls. Yeah. But it's pretty interesting. This is the most interesting thing I'm gonna tell you and then we'll get the fuck out of here. Yeah.

Fucko was on the podcast before we, before the pandemic. Wolf. What's his name? The Wolf of Wall Street. Oh shit. Remember I gave him a quail loop from the fucking 80s. Oh, the Wolf of Wall Street. That was the- Jordan Belfort. The movie fucking 80s. Oh, the wolf of Wall Street, that was... Jordan Belfort.

The movie. Yeah, I understand. I know what it was. Benicio del Toro. Well, he was on the show. The real wolf came on the show. We were talking about shit. And all of a sudden he goes, I don't know if you know how I wrote my story.

And I go, why? He goes, Chung was my jailmate, my cellmate. Oh, OK. And the federal, he told me, I was telling him stories about the stock market Yeah, because all the mob guys were that that's what they were doing That's what they were doing a couple of names, you know, but what they were doing, you know what they do Yeah, they push and these guys don't even have licenses and then they close it down and they they short it

You know and that that was we were looking at a lot of those guys too But I mean, yeah, he talked them into writing a fucking book. Yeah. And it became a fucking movie. Yeah. That's my point there. Yeah, and it was a good movie. You're sitting there bored, write a fucking movie. Yeah. Just to give you a heads up, he is going to take 10 points just as the manager.

Five, five. Five, just five? His family. Yeah, he can have more than that, man. He's family, dog. Come on. How come you always charge me 10? Because there's reasons. You gotta leave it to a 5% or 10%.

I gotta hold your hand, you're gonna call me at night, can I make the right move? I mean, I need that in my life, two in the morning, Lee, what's up? I can't sleep, this manager's got me going crazy. I'm over here, you know, dreaming about fucking, hanging out with the DEA and all of a sudden. Yeah, but it was nice coming, nice, you're a great guy.

All you guys are good guys. You bought some great fucking empanadas. You got a funny fucking laugh and you gotta work on that head cold, man. Try and take some Vicks. My mother used to put some Vicks by my nose. Come back in 10 minutes, he'll be healed because he got sick once I came back with the

Mac Daddy of Mac Daddies. He started getting sick last Wednesday when he saw the box. He started getting twitches and shit He knew that let you know that let was here It's like like this is Nick nicotine pouches. They come in three six Nine twelve forget about it. Well, I gotta put a couple quarters in there No, no, I'll hook you up with one on the way out. No, I'm good, man. You put one under your chin, forget it. You'll be fucking- No, I can't do that.

You'll be doing 90 on the parkway. Hey! You got your old badge, I just put it there with a disco light. I do have it. They don't know nothing. Just put the badge up with a disco light. That's it, nobody knows nothing.

Nobody will even stop you. That's the fucking funny thing. Johnny, you got anything to say, brother? Oh God. Don't get him started. Don't get him started. Tell them about the Go Bar. We gotta get the fuck out of here.

Tell them about the Go Bar, but hold the fuck, don't tell them. No, we'll get the fuck out of here. Next time we'll talk about the Go Bar. The Go Bar is in the Bronx. Now it's 10 to eight, I'm already hungry, you know what I'm saying? I'm already thinking about shit.

We out. We out like fucking whatever Lee where you at this weekend March 29th Broadway Comedy Club 530 p.m. Look at them. Don't forget to be there Austin Moon Towers officially sold out, but you got May 18th at the parks motherfucking casino. Yeah right or August May May we're working on May here. And come out and that's it and that's that. I'll keep your post to Lee, that's all you got?

That's all. I got Josh Wolf at Stanford Comedy Club. You going to Stanford? Make something up, brother. When are you going to Stanford? Stanford New York Comedy Club in two weeks. Oh, Stanford New York, okay. Stanford, Connecticut. I thought you were going to the old Stanford, the guy had the wig. That's a complete other story. I love you savages. See you next week. Have a great week and get ready for April.

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