Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - It's all about the Benjamin's with Danny B

Episode Date: August 18, 2026

Danny B is back on The Church and we weren't ready for him! Dany tells Joey ad Lee his very controversial take on athlete's pay, Lee set's things on fire, Joey doses Danny's son and much more! SHOW NOTES Download the DraftKings Sports app now. New customers sign up with code JOEY & spend $5 to get $150 in rewards within 14 days @ https://www.draftkings.com/mobileapps Limited-time offer, get Zapply T1 with code JOEY for less than a $1 a day at http://us.tryzapply.com/JOEY 90-day money-back guarantee. #ad F*%k your khakis and get The Perfect Jean 15% off with the code CHURCH15 at http://theperfectjean.nyc/CHURCH15 #theperfectjeanpod #ad

Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. What's going on, beautiful people? Uncle Joey here and another episode of the church of what's happening now. New edition of whatever the hell it is this week. You know, it's already starting. I got great guests for you. Family man, fucking one of my best friends in life, and one of the best sports advisor work.

And Mr. Denny Bianculu. And you got my man. What is? It's a game show. It ain't no clapping here. And you got my main man, Johnny Hill. over here. What's going on, Lee? You come up, I can't wait for the next nickname.

They get progressed. I went and started director from Israel flying due. Now it's Johnny. Like, I can't wait until people referring to you now as Johnny Hitler. All the time. So I think they're responding better for that. So we'll leave it out. What do you mean they're responding better? We'll see.

We'll see how Johnny Hitler sounds next month and we'll fucking Rio Valley. How was your weekend, Tarzan? My weekend was good. My weekend, I went up to Pennsylvania. And and had a fun show in Dingman's Ferry, which is in the middle. But have you lit anything on fire recently? Have I lit some on fire?

Yeah. No, it's been a while. Dude, I had a fire pit for two days. I went through like $80 of wood. It was the most fun. I haven't lit any. And it was creepy because we had like a fire pit at like an Airbnb. But like after a while you start looking at like other things.

Like I just want to like I. Because you like, you're a pyro, aren't you? Didn't we talk about this? Yeah. I thought so. I'm going to burn a house down Or light an aunt family on fire You putting wood in a fucking thing

It's sitting there I don't know It starts like that But then you go and you move up to the house That's what I'm saying Like is it like I sat there for a couple hours And like the pre-chopped wood was fun But then you start

When I went to Israel I had a tile floor in my apartment And I used to like plastic cups on fire And watch those burn Because like it couldn't ruin the floor but now with a huge fire pit with lighter fluid have you ever put lighter fluid on anything

and like what how fun is that right sounds excitingly sign hey Jay put that on a do-lis let's do that let's do that

oh yeah I'll light this whole place I would love to light this place on there I would scare the fuck out of me you shouldn't place as smoky as it is. We don't mean any more barnfires.

Yeah, they wouldn't even know. Well, anyhow. Listen. Ah, ha, ha, ha. Let's switch seats here, Coco, in case he wants to start a fucking fire. I'll leave him alone. He ain't going to start no fucking fire.

His knee doesn't work. I can get him. Burning wood. I can still run, no, so. Yeah, you can. I don't live fine. What's going on, Danny? You're excited.

Your time of the year is fucking starting. It did already. Preseason those motherfuckers. They warm up to it. There's guys out there selling preseason picks, you know, relentless. Yeah. People want to get a quick jump on a year. Come on, 500.

And these guys start preseason. By the time the season comes, they're down 12 Gs already. Man, my bank roll is low. I don't mess with the pre-season. Back in the day, when it meant something, now it doesn't mean nothing. I'm talking 20 years ago. Yeah, yeah. When they played four or five preseason games, now they don't even play nobody.

So it's a waste of your time, waste of your money, unless you really know something about somebody or some team. So I don't know. We saw some injuries this weekend already. What's his name from Minnesota's out for the year? Linebacker, just like that. Dallas picks up that guy. What's his name, that linebacker?

That they just got. Yeah, Von Miller. He's 37 years old, so I don't know how good he'll be. But at one time, he was one of the better players. But preseason is something you don't mess with. Not me personally. Maybe one or two games a year, if that, just to have a little fun with it, but I'm not advising it to know.

I did see this that kind of fucking bothered me, because when does the greed end? I mean, we found out six years ago that the NFL's a little fucking little bots. They're a little weird. But now they want to have the Super Bowl on Valentine's Day? Do you read that? Yeah. It's on Valentine's Day. That's February 14th.

For years, I remember January 28th. The latest, it would be January 30th. If you were lucky, because it fell on a Sunday. But February 14, what are they going to do? Watch a game at White Castle's because they celebrate Valentine's Day and out White Castle, so it makes sense. It's fucking crazy. That that's how long the season goes for.

Just that extra fucking week of revenue is going to make them. So, you know, that's why I said they're done. Obviously, that's a different, they don't care about. nothing no more. They don't care about nothing. It's just something you watch. It's like pro wrestling now. You know? I read it now I turn it on TV and pro wrestling

is on. Since when did all these fucking retards hatch? You know what I'm saying? It's infiltration. W.W.E. W this, W that. Big chicks. It's insane. It really is fucking insane. How about the dead presidents,

man? Benjamin's. It's all about the money. Like you said, TV rights? TV rights, advertisers, but Jesus Christ, you're going to kill these fucking players. The NBA players are talking about you got to shorten the season. The last three or four years, people have gotten hurt in the last two months of the season. You know, it's wear and tear. And remember, they shorten it down. You know, I'm sorry to cut you off here, but they're pussies these days.

Remember when we grew up in the 70s and the 80s? Right. These guys played with broken legs. broken fingers. We played with broken bones in high school, and we didn't make a penny. You know, some of us did on a side, but that's another story.

But no, they pusified the league, the game, it's just so different. A minute for 33 years now, Cokes, 33 seasons now come next week. This Thursday, I go back into studio, 33 seasons. What's a guy like yours philosophy?

It starts on Monday. Tell us what your week goes through. Well, my week is seven days a week, but Monday you start evaluating what happened over the weekend. Of course, you got the Monday night game. It's tough. It's tough these days, you know. With all the legalization, draft kings, fan do all the different apps, it's just a whole different ballgame. I don't, you know, legalization changed the dynamics of the industry, definitely.

People, young kids today don't even bet on the sides and totals. They're betting on player props. 85% of your wages are on pollies, player props. Nobody's really betting sides and totals no more. Algorithms, metrics, too much stats and trends. It's just changed, Co. At the end of the day, there's a fucking mom that's been going 11-11 every Sunday for 10 fucking years, killing motherfuckers.

And she don't know nothing about a fucking stat, you know? So... Well, they put too much stock in the stats and trends and all that stuff. and algorithms and, you know, I call Billy Ball. Remember Billy Ball, Billy Bean with Oakland A's? And now they're all doing it. They're not looking at the players, the value. It's just too much metrics.

And I just, I'm in this 33 years now. Probably got two more years and I'm going to throw in the hat here. I look at the long gym. You know, when I was a kid, fucking these players, basketball especially, they were with that team forever until the end. These guys move around like unbelievable. Then they talk shit about the talent that they just left. I don't understand that.

Well, it's the contracts, you know, year to year. But don't you want to, listen, contract and money is important. But after a while, loyalty, it has to come in somewhere. Well, talk to LeBron about that. Right. Oh, yeah, he's the king of fucking, look at him. Yeah, I know. He's 19th theme.

And I ain't mad at him. He's a great player or he was. Whatever your argument with, he's earned this. But now another fucking team? You know, Phil, I think he's going to be a poison for that team. He's like a cancer to Philadelphia. You know, I think they'll win maybe half their games. They might go, you know, 41 and 41, if that.

You know why you're a Philly fan? Oh, sorry about that. But, no, he's a poison. He's a cancer. One of the greatest players ever, but he's no Michael Jordan. He's definitely no Kobe Bryant. Again, the game's changed. If it was up to me, they would go season to season, contract year by year, you know?

That'd be fun. That's the way it should be. Why pay somebody guaranteed $40, $50 million? You mean the whole league? Anybody. I don't think any player in any sport is worth more than $10 million a year. And that's a hell of $11. Give them some incentives.

No, they're worth way more than that. They already said the amount that LeBron brought to a fill. Like, I get you back then. And who's paying for that, Lee. you. Yeah. That's the whole reason all these things exist. That's why a hot dog's fucking look at those. It's Game of Thrones. We were not the game of hungry games. How much does that whole bundle

of hot dogs cost you over there? For how many? You get two hot dogs out of game for that price, right? So we're paying for their salaries. Yeah. And they're underperforming. They flop. They get hurt. Oh, my ankle hurts. This hurts. You know, it's that. Back in the day,

they played, they worked on the side. They gave it 100% preseason. The All-Star games, right? The Pro Bowls, those games used to mean something because it came with money, right? They got incentives. Now it's a joke. You know, it's not what it was. Athletes today, very talented. They're big. They're fast. But they're not tough. You remember Daryl Dawkins. I remember Darylton. I remember being Joe Green. I remember a bunch of players that, you know,

those other two guys didn't even have teeth in their fucking mouth. Jack Lambert and the other guy Nobody fucking smiled And you know It wasn't about that In fact Hollywood Anderson got fired Because they were losing And he flashed a towel

Because Drew whatever Owned the towel company And he went like this Next day that motherfucker got fired That was that old I think it was more for the coke usage Well it was everything included They had a little something to do it in though

They fucking fired him for that And then he went to Miami. He was a bust. He was good, though. He was L-T before L-T. Yeah, he was very good. But he only had a short-lived career. I brought up Daryl Dawkins for a reason

because you remember Joel Tobia, Better Glass? Yeah, I remember all that shit. He was the ball boy. Yeah. He used to come over to the house. I got Daryl Dawkins' shoes. Give me an April. I went over that couple times.

It's like a size 23. What am I going to do? It's this fucking thing. Smell it. That's he going to do. Sniff it. Here's a gram. Go away.

Leave me a line. All right. All right, let me ask you this. Let's say Shoney O'Tani. How much is that motherfucker work to you? Because I don't look at, I look at the, because now, in my world,

it's the same thing. Yeah, he's a great ball player. But what does he generate to the Dodgers stadium? It's what he does with Japan. What does he generate? It's the revenue that he's bringing in from overseas, the Asian market.

They love him. They love. Listen, win or lose. like him or not. When Connor McGregor fights, he fucking electrifies the city. You can't pay for that. You can't pay for that.

You can tell you, you can't tell you, listen, I got 10 naked girls running down Broadway today. You're not going to... Nothing compared to what that man does. And that's what you're paying them for. Today, they're not paying you for talent.

You know, if I need talent, I go to college and get fucking three young kids, and one of them's got to do something. That's right. It's two these days, though. they bounce around like a basketball. Yeah, they bounce around too because you've thrown in the incentive of money. You know, these players made a big stink.

Well, they don't get paid in college. Shut the fuck up. Shut the fuck up. Go on Wikipedia at one of those sites and see what, bring them young generates a fucking football year. And you tell me they don't get taken care of. Look at what these college campuses generate. Texas, that place, you walked around that,

campus? Ooh, that's a fucking cash oil organization, Jack. That's the team to bet this year. Right. College, Texas. So are you saying they didn't deserve to get paid or they did they deserve it? No, what I'm paying you for, listen, I know guys that could fucking kill a room comedy-wise. I know guys that could slay a room and they've been out of for 20 years and they've maybe shot a special on their own. They were a mediocre agency, and they cannot sell a ticket.

In my business, in comedy business, this is sad because I don't want to break the two comedians that are watching this and the comedians at home. But ain't nothing happening until you sell tickets. All that, that was such a great joke. Oh, my God. I'm going to bring Mommy to watch. The agents will sit there and look at you. Then they'll go on. They got a fucking app that tells them what you did last week, where you were at. And that's a sad thing. They won't talk to you.

They have no luck. Come up to you and talk to you the club and then you hit them up and they're like well not. Because they don't want to build the start. They want you to come with 40% of an audience. If you have 40% of an audience and that's

if you have a 250 seat place and you put 100 seats in there, and they're off night, you do that a couple months in a row, like the improvs, the things that they're watching the numbers. That's how they hike you. That's how they start giving you work. And I'll tell you, man, when I was selling tickets, I always booked movies.

When I was selling tickets, when I was not selling tickets, I had to audition. Once I started selling tickets, what a coincidence? I don't have to audition. It's a whole new racket. but it all starts with selling tickets. And these guys make, like I said last week, what makes Danny Biancula getting this fucking car with Mrs. B. How are you doing over there?

And getting this car, go drive. I'm conservative, three and a half hours to a Yankee game, pay all the dough for a ticket, and then drive back. What, Danny's not going to eat? Danny's first class. He's going to stop and get the best. and he's going to go nuts at the fucking place.

He might buy a fucking nostalgic hat. You know, but what drew him? That's what it is, nostalgia. No, a nostalgic hat. Right. Like a hat, like, from, you know, what we were talking about before the fucking thing. But what I'm saying is that's why he goes. No, you know, you want nostalgia.

You stay at home. Why am I dropping four fucking thousand dollars? Because you've been a fan since you were a kid. Who gives a fuck? That shit in today's economy, that went out of the window. Okay. He's a big fan. How many Yankee games do you purchase a year?

All right. Well, that's what I'm saying. He's the biggest fan there is. But economics don't let you do that. You're going there to watch a player. You're going there to watch your favorite team. But that team, like 60 tickets, went up 80% after LeBron got there.

Of course. You think that happened because he generates? And that's what they're looking at. Sure. And that's today's world. It was not our world. No. And our world,

you're to knock a motherfucker's feet out of the football field to get $13 million. First of all, I ain't driving three and a half hours to see anybody, any sport,

maybe you, that's about it. Three and a half hour to go park and pay 50 bucks, like I said, $20 for a hot dog. Fuck that,

I'll buy a couple of big screen TVs. You can get a 75-inch TV screen for $500 bucks, buy two of them. Now I know Mrs. Bianculo. Right.

And when you tell Mrs. Bianculo, where you're going to drop, that day because things are different in our world now. We're a little older. She don't care. She'll go fuck you, Danny. No, no. She's... Let's just go to Myrtle Beach and get a hut

away from the regular savages, and we could drink and roll around the sand. That's better for her. No, we're simple people. We're simple people. Hey, I don't care what type of people you are. What I'm saying is. You know what I'm saying? Like, then you put other things before that.

Like, I could talk you out of a Yankee game. You want to drop four grand for a Yankee game, let's take that $4,000 and go to fuck. It's not even about the money. It's about the inconvenience of the traffic getting in. It was like if I had a helicopter and I can sling myself down. It's the inconvenience of getting fucked in the ass and you know it. Right?

I'll turn that question over to you. You want to fuck me in the ass? Make sure I'm passed out. And I don't remember nothing in the morning. You put cream on there and blow on it all night. All right. But if I know it, that's going to ruin everything. I feel when I participate in any of that type of event,

I'm going over to get fucking treated badly. Well, you're right. If the team starts, like, not investing in players or, like, gets rid of all, like, that's why I haven't watched the Red Sox in years, partially because it's just too much, but it's also, they got rid of all the biggest players. The ticket prices kept going up. They're doing all right, though.

Now they're doing better over the last couple months, but that's why I won't go spend the money. is like if I feel like like they're going to keep raising the prices and giving me less and they don't care because they know people are going to show up. But you'll spend $80 on wood to burn something. Yeah.

That don't fucking make sense. Because how far would 80 bucks go at Yankee Stadium? What do you call him again now? What's his new? No, no. What's his new? He's not the flying. Johnny Hitler.

He's panicking already. He's panicking. 80 bucks on firewood to burn it and get nothing. Yeah, fuck yeah. And to smoke weed and sit out there and eat boo. Yeah, fuck it. smoke. Whatever you're doing here.

I don't know. I don't get it. You took 10 milligrams. That's right. You guys did like 500. Yeah. Yeah. In today's world, you go to a game.

In reality, there's two black guys and seven Spanish guys that don't speak English. I want to go, I want to go see them. You know what I'm saying? You want to see a star. You want to, even like Cincinnati Red. They still got that dude? Okay. On the Cruz.

Shortstop. Yeah. Yeah. I'd go to a game to watch him one time. Because I know in seven years, I'm going to either be dead or I can't afford his tickets. He's going to be that good if he's locked him with a better team than fucking Cincinnati. See, that's the power. And doesn't rock like Mike Schmidt out there in fucking California.

Do you anybody in this audience agree with the salaries that they're making? Are you okay with somebody making $40, $50 million to pitch? If someone's willing to pay them that, it means they're bringing in $200, $300. I wish I, it sounds crazy. and it, I wish other people made more. But the owner, if the owners aren't doing it because they're nice people, the owners are making, they just sold the Lakers, the Lakers went up $2 billion in a year. Because, because, and they suck.

They lost the brawn and went up $2 billion. Because the television rights. Yeah. So, but that's what I'm saying is that, it makes. Screaming. It's all, it's all, the only thing, the only reason anything happens, especially in this country is because it makes people money. They're not getting that's by the WMBA people make $50,000 because no one watches The WMBA you said it went up a little bit but it didn't go like it

Well I think they make like 1500 a month those girls you can make 200 thousand doing Uber in New York it's I mean it's how much I don't know but it's my You can't but that's all the only reason anyone does anything is because of money That's the only and that root of all evil my friend but it's not if you're evil I'm not evil. I'm not saying. You're the one that burned shit, for Christ's sake. Oh, I would love, oh, I have so many, I would love to burn so many things.

That would be, just, just that desk right there. Let's just start with the desk and we'll move forward from there. Any of them. That one with George, that one. That's plastic. That'll smell bad. Oh, that's great. Huh?

What's going on with you? Is there a problem we should know about? No. Hey, Uncle Joey here. Look at, the summer's over, all right, pretty much. And Draft Kings has you covered for every single moment of it. The Draft King Sports app is now available in 50 states. What does that mean, Uncle Joey?

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He doesn't have his shots yet. One more week. Put him on the fucking floor. You can't. For white people, you can't. For normal, for spicks like me, put them on the floor.

It's like when a baby is a baby and he eats sand at the park, let him eat the fucking sand. He's strengthening his immune system. Especially with a little shit in it. Walking around the city with a fucking dog. You're bad at me that you think you're going to have their shots. Because who would know it doesn't have a shot?

Not for him because there's a lot of shit on the ground. There's rats who won. Oh, you're worried about the dog. Yeah. Okay. They're going to move him out of the city then if you cared about it. What guy? No, you won't.

I would rather kill myself than live in the country. The only thing that would take him in the country is the wood. Please. And the fire. He wants to burn shit and I get it. Okay. You'll see in the comments, a bonfire is the coolest fire.

I don't care what you guys say. It is. It is. Yeah, when you're fucking eight. When you're camping. When you're a fucking Roman. I guarantee you. I will bet you the money I lost in Atlantic City that,

you lost $500 for Christ's sake. Stop crying. I'm saying I'll bet $500. You have to be the same sense. $500. $500. $500. And he's there.

reading all the fucking blackjack books and shit. He's reading all these. Danny, what would you do? How much money would you bet if sitting at a table with three people who stay on 13 when they got dealer at the 10? Staying on 15s and 16s because it's feeling. So the room was uncomfortable when I walked in. He was all bitter all the last weekend. No one's bitter about it.

I'm saying I would. Here's the beauty of it. If he would have hit on that car well. We were staying on 13. I know. And winning. Meanwhile, Mr. knowledge, you got to hit you.

You don't have to do nothing. No, I lost me. You don't have to do nothing. This is America, motherfucker. And we work on fucking urges. So I don't want to fall into that urge. I know that I'm betting for him to go over 21.

And he's already got 19 on there. So what the fuck are you talking about? You're sitting there for two hours like a moke. And you're a 13. And somebody stole that fucking dog. Did you see him? Making a little faggy fucking Jew noises. Meanwhile, we're fucking around, tipping,

having a good time drinking a margarita. So all that knowledge, dog, taking a shovel up here. Let me recap this. You all sat at the same table. We always do. And why couldn't you beat the house if you sat at the only not how to work together? No, because they kept staying on 15.

Because you don't know how to count. No, well, you count. He's a fucking Jew. That's all he's ever done. Just count pennies, centimeters, whatever the fuck they count. I don't count. I don't, I couldn't, we tried to get Pedro to split. He lost one split and started screaming, stay away from me, no one talked to me.

I don't leave me alone. Me too, because we were doing good on our own. Yes, but you moved. And all of a thing, you made them go on opposite. But you fucked the whole table. Yeah, but look, who is not playing because they lost? Yeah, because you fucked the, you fucked the car. Did anybody win at that table?

Yeah. Oh, you. Yeah, both of us. He weren't up the whole weekend. And who lost? It doesn't matter. I was waiting at night. When you were sitting there at 13, I was, the last money I gave to him,

we didn't need to sit there on Saturday night, especially after you got cleaned out so quick. You know, Mr. fucking blackjack and shit, knock it off. Jesus. Oh, fucking carry the dog around New York. I get pictures sent to me. The poor bastard. What type of dog you got?

I'm burning do. What the fuck? A burnad do. There you go again, burning stuff. What is a burnadale? Don't you burn that dog? No, it's a Burmese Mountain Dog and a poodle. Was it that big?

It'll be like 35 pounds. Okay, you can handle that. Yeah. Can handle that. So that's the dog minute. Okay, anyway. So where was this fire you started again? At an Airbnb?

Yeah. Oh, so you were outside. Did they have a fire pit dog? You don't want to know about this. I kind of do. I'm kind of curious. No, you don't want to know about it. Okay, I'll leave it along.

This is not good. Anyway, talk to me about sports betting. What do you want to know? I just said Texas, if you want a little advice on who's going to win the... What are you laughing? Texas plus 750 plus 800. It's a solid bet. You have Ohio State, the Irish deducts, Texas.

Indiana's not going to repeat, so throw that out the window. I think Mendoza is going to have a good year as a rater, his rookie year. What do you want to know? What do you want to know nothing? You just ask me. I want to know what's going on with your life. Oh, my life is okay. It's pretty good.

I got to say, I'm happy. We just had some high rooms. We had some Rudy's. I brought you some soup. It was delicious. It was, right? Had a fun summer. Again, Jamie and I don't go too far.

I'm not saying we're simple people, because we'll spend a shitload of money locally, though. I don't like traveling. I hate traffic. I hate, I'm the guy to yell at somebody if they're going too slow. What the fuck? I just don't have patience no more,

especially if I'm going to, I don't mind spending $4,000 to watch a game. I don't. really don't. I've done it before. I sat court side. It took Tim Donagy to his first NBA game, watched the Knicks, lose to Dallas Mavericks. So I spent $4,000 a

sit next to Omerthurman, though. That was pretty cool. And Vinny from the Jersey Shore. Look at you, rubbing elbows with big time as his shit. So what, Vin is, he even said, look at you. But I'm not afraid to spend money. I just don't want to travel or be inconvenienced. I hate that.

You know, I'm going to say, if I'm going to spend money why am I getting torching? You see it like commercial anymore? Yeah, I flew commercial the last five to ten times. Okay. I got the bill finally. Oh, they don't recoup you? No.

No, out of your process? That's no fucking joke, those fucking private planes. And I see why you guys are okay with good salaries and all that stuff because you guys sell tickets, right? That's what you just do. You sell tickets. Yeah. I'm starting to sell something, but not enough.

I'm selling like 50 tickets to a show, usually. Okay, it's a start. Yeah, I'm very happy with it. It's amazing to me that it, but that's, The whole reason these podcasts have, like, I can't, everyone coming to my show now who's like 25, like I was listening to you at 12, which is scary to think about. But that's the whole reason people come to show. Like, it's the same reason people go to see sports is because they, they've grown up with us or started when, you know, when we started the podcast, you were doing well, but it wasn't selling out shows at clubs.

You were having decent shows at clubs, decent. weekends at clubs. When did you turn the corner, you feel? Like, as far as your comedy, what year? Comedy was always there. It was just turning the corner. You know what I'm saying? Like, at that point, I was doing comedy.

I know I saw your first show in West New York. 17, 18 years. 19 years before I started seeing. But you also have to remember. A lot of those years, I was snowing coke. the lost years. Right, but here's the thing that baffles me. When I make notes and shit,

I'm trying to dig up stories, it baffles me that even with all the drugs and the mayhem, I was still getting on stage. You know what I mean? Like, it was like, I'd get myself together. I didn't go to bed until fucking 11 in the morning and, you know. You make it, though. I'm going to be at 8 o'clock.

You ever miss a set? It's not going to be an emotional. Listen, when you snorke, and try to do comedy that night or the next night even. You break, the Coke breaks. That's how you learn. It's not good. That's how I started learning.

Never mind it got me to prison. Never mind, you know, it got me in all the trouble I got into. What were we talking about? I don't know. You were doing something about Coke and that's... You were doing Coke in the early... I was doing Coke and going all out, but I was still getting on stage.

And he said, like, when you were doing something... We're doing it. But when you do Coke and you get on stage the next night and even the night after that, you're disconnected from your material. If I did Coke and tried to get on stage, I'd be behind the turdust and I'd be behind the turd and got on stage. I'm talking about getting up, staying out to about 6th of the morning, Thursday night, and getting on stage Friday night at 8 o'clock.

Once that show starts, you're going to go up through it, and you might do well. Listen, because it's muscle memory. Right. So you might do well. And that's what I had in my corner. How about the fatigue and stuff, the lack of sleep, didn't that kill you? Nah, because once you get up on, bro, they're going to give me 50 bucks, and I'm going to go get another fucking ring of my blow.

That's your motivation. I'm leaving here, I'm going over there, and they're going to give me another 75. That's my gasoline and cat food. Then I'm going to go to the comedy store and pick up $15 and maybe borrow 20 from somebody or front of the gram. So it's always, but that's not, when you snort Coke and get on stage, you're emotionally disconnected from material. You won't sell the material.

The words will be funny because, again, they're muscle memory. But you living that joke in the moment, that's gone. I know you're going to call me a pussy, but if we take like heavy, I'm talking, not smoke a joint, I like smoking and joint doing stand-up, but if we take 500 and then I have to go up the next night

and, like, I'm still a little bit hung over from it, it might be, I'm sure Coke is stronger. I was here. I'm sorry? You just took 500 milligrams while I was. is here. Yeah, and tomorrow I'll be a little fucked up. And he was going through his underwear,

drawing for more. Oh, yeah. But that's, whatever that drawer you got next. I feel like it, I don't know. You feel a disconnect the next night? I just, not even disconnect.

I guess disconnect or my brain is in firing. No, it's not. We got to go on a full boat training. I'll do great. I think when I do a lot of rea for a few days, listen, as long as I go on stage and giggle, I got to be at that level

of being high. That's not the level that from smoking all day. No. That's when smoking at 7 in the morning and not smoking the rest of the day they'll blast off. Right before you go on stage, you wake

up again. You know, you drink a sugar-free Red Bull, the boot? Yes. Ooh-la-la-law. That's that soon. Those new ones, you get that peach. Have you had the peach with Ms. Beyond? Oh, no. No, the line ones were at 10 now. All the fucking peach

ones. They have a cherry coconut that will fucking rock your world. And you fucking smoke a half a and drink one of those? I don't feel so bad now. I mean, listening to you, too, and rushing this crew back there, I don't feel so bad.

What don't you feel bad about? No, because I sometimes I smoke too much. I got to stop eating all these gummies and got to stop drinking. Now I'm listening to this. I'm kind of pretty good. Oh, we don't drink. No, well, that makes it all right.

A great wise man. I just had some of that vodka back. That's not all that bad. No, take some more. Take the bar. I'm afraid I've moved a prop. If I move the... Take it.

Take it. Who gives a fuck? Burt might get mad, though. No, no, it's my bottle. Take it. Danny, don't make me get up and go out. You want me to bend over here? You want me to pull a shot in front of anybody?

Yeah. Who gives a fuck? Leave it there. You know what I'm saying? George's pissed. George's pissed. What am I supposed? Like, he forced it on me, so you're going to crack me over the head with this?

I'll take a shot for you. There you go, brother. Happy birthday. It's your birthday? Happy birthday. Not his fucking birthday, but when it is his birthday. George made a cake. I have no idea. It's actually not so bad, actually. Did I break

something back there, George? No, no. I got hit with some debris, though. I knew it was a prop. I didn't want to move it, but he forced it on me. A great man once told me that when you get high and it makes you escape reality, he learned that at some fucking rehab and he dropped it on me.

And I remember thinking, this was 1993. I was 30 years old. And thinking about it. That's about right. And now you're 60. I'm 60. You wake up in the morning. You look around.

I get up in the morning. I know what type of day I'm going to have, especially I don't have to perform that night. If I don't have to get on stage that night, it's going to be a buck wild day. Because I could get higher all that. And I'll start 7.15. Once my daughter gets on that bus and I weigh right to the fucking garage

and I blast off. and now I get excited about my day. Sativa, Indica, or? I'm an Indica guy. I want to see the devil. There's no sativa to start the day at least. Little hybrid to chill things on. Right to the good stuff.

No, no. We go right to the bazooka. Because you're not going to build up. So why fuck around? When I get up in the morning, I want to be fucking stoned. Stoned enough to make me take a shower, eat breakfast, take my vitamins, do all that healthy shit. It gets me that stoned.

have no obligations that day. I got obligations. I always got... Every day. Every day I'm two things. Something. Like tomorrow I gotta take... Tomorrow I've got to go to Hot Docs 1115.

And then I got to pick a hot dog. The cleaners. Okay. It's not such a bad day. Then I might fix up my office and then go do an open mic tomorrow night. Okay.

Open mic, I don't need to be prepared. They hate that type of party. You just show up, get on a box, and fucking, you know, If I got a real show, then I'll watch my peas and cues throughout the day, make sure I got a little nappy noonoo in there. But again, I live in an area where I ain't got you around.

I got nobody around me. I'm in Central New Jersey. What do you with all the rednecks down there? Who the fuck knows? But it's an hour and a half from any civilization that I would enjoy. Not to mention, I'm 20 years older than all the other parents of my neighbor. And my wife is 16 years older. So that leaves you a little limitless.

You know? I don't have that dilemma. We're in a melting pot area, eastern area, pretty close to the city. We're only an hour and 15 minutes away. It's an up-and-coming area down there. There's plenty to do. And you're also, you're in the country. We have cows in our backyard, but we just jump on the road down the block.

We're, you know, Eastern's up and coming. It's happening down there now. You know, I just bought that house side unseen. I didn't really know the area was in Marlborough. The only person I know that lives in that area is Christy Lorenzo and that's how he... He's still alive, Chris? Yeah. You see him?

I talked to him and see him. Oh. I miss that family. He's a good fucking dude, Chris. Crazy has horse shit. He's still nuts? Still nuts. I got to, you know, Jason's sister, Deborah?

Yeah. That was like his first girlfriend and some of the stories that she was telling me about him back in the day. Remember that barracuda he? had that red car, that sick red barracuda. He had a car. He had an Italian car. Yeah, whatever that, was it a barracuda? Avanti.

Avanti or something like that. That was sick. Nice red. This was early 80s. Early 80s. Yeah, 801, 82, 83. One of the best North Bergen families, the top five North Pergian fan.

That's what the heartache is about, that your whole family dynamic could just shift. You know, speaking. They were like the Walton's when I met them. I watched the longest yard with Kurt. He's like, you got to watch this. Coco's in it. I'm like, yeah.

We're down in Miami. So I watched the longest yard with Kurt DeLorenza. And Louis, digger. Digger, digger, digger, digger. Remember him? Yeah. What's going on here? Nothing.

I'm just... Everybody's hard here. Listening to you... This whole room, even when I got here, I was like, this place is pretty quiet. The DeLorenzo family was a very good... The three boys. I got along with all four.

three of them, the grandmother. Oh, she was great. The mother was the backbone of the organization. Babs, right? I used to Babs, and I used to have the dad drive me to comedy shows. That's how good I had it with him. He loved the bat. I used to take him up there. He was

sick, get one of those Italian drinks. I would say, I want you to also thank Mr. DeLorenzo for driving me, and he fucking get up and run out of there. Don't mention my name where we're out, please. He loved the ponies, and down in Florida, he loved the dogs. He loved anything to gamble.

He was like Fred Flintstone. Remember of Fred Flintstone when he had the bad, bad, bad, bad, rhubha. I used to go to track with him here. I used to go to track with him here. I was number of horse guys. When I would stay down there, it didn't matter. You're going out. You're going to fucking put $2 on a horse.

If you're lucky, there'll be some clam chowder. Somebody's got crackers. You have a mug of Hineken, and you're out of the house for two, three hours. My cousin Jammel loved the horse. Oh, they all there. When we were kids, that was a paradise. The metal ants. Remember, you could snort Coke in the hallway.

You can get your, if you want to. I don't remember that hallway. That hallway was buck wild. People were fucking, people were sucking. Every level. People were snorting. They had makeshift mirrors in there. And there was a guy that actually just sold coke at the track.

There was two or three. women that would suck your dick at the track. We grew up with one of them. We grew up with her. I grew up with her. I would see her at the track and I, go out. You know, this is fucking crazy shit. The kid,

the head shaft was from North Bergen. He died. Vinnie Lynch. I'm under him. Vinny Lynch. He died. So you went up there. As long as you had a jacket on, a blazer, he hooked you up. And not one of these, you know, he hooked you up. Like he took you in the kitchen, hook up.

Like you sat in the kitchen like Henry Hill, I took out. It was a great place in the early 80s. You remember the midget Marine? Chamble called the Midget Marine. My cousin lived at the track seven days a week. And there was this one guy, because I was in the Army. I got out on leave.

I come, he'd take me to the Meadowlands. He goes, yeah, there's the Midgeter Marine. He knew him all there, and they all knew him. Because he was a little Marine. He was about this big, but he was a regular there. He just got out of the Marines, but the Midger Marine. But there was a cast of Carrier Marine. But there was a cast of characters there.

You're right. That hallway, anything can happen. That hallway, and I'm telling you, listen, you hear stories. I saw it all go down that hallway. Where I would walk in and go, what the fuck was that? People smoking crack. A chick-sucking dick one time. I'm like, come on, let's go low.

And there's a girl right there. The guy's pants down to his ankles. He's over there. Like, hurry up, honey. I got a winner in a thing. third race. It was fucking insane. Well, that's where the expression

a $2.00 came from. Yeah. The racetrack. The race track. $2 is to win. Yeah. Fucking crazy, dog. You could smell

weed. And I love their clam chowder. In the early 80s, their red clam chowder was on fire, dog. How much of your life do you live based on soup?

Listen to me. I just brought him soup. I know. Listen to me, dog. I would go there and get. He's the soup Nazi and you know, what the burning? Johnny Hitler.

It was like $1.25 for a couple that clam chowder. And I'm not talking about one of these faggy cups. It was a cup. And then I would get like six or 12. Isn't that too cheap? Clams on a half shell. You know what I'm saying?

You might as well eat the clams. And they also had a good chili. The chili was world class. Anything else I didn't eat. But that was why I went there. I would look at it as I got 30 bucks. I'm going to eat. I'm going to get some sun.

I'm going to yell and scream. Then I'm going to be back in the car. I'll be home. in time to take a shower and go to Joe Marys. Yeah. Joe Marys. It was just, you know, I'm not going to make a limit. Remember Svetat, darling.

Lila, Lila. Svetat. She was the best. We had some good times back then. But to think, though, Cokes, it's 40-something years ago. When did you leave to Colorado, 85, 80s? 83 the first time. Yeah, but you were back, though, in 85, 86.

I came back in 84 like an idiot. But I still remember the last birthday I celebrated there. was at Joe Marys. They got me and John Kelly a Carvel cake. We were stolen so much coke. Nobody touched the cake. I didn't even know he did that.

It just fucking melted. It just melted, dog. They didn't even touch the candles on it. It was the most embarrassed. And the girl kept saying, when are we going to cut the cake? When are we going to give it? And we were like,

yeah, right now. Nobody wants to eat fucking cake. Yeah, we had some good times back then. We lost a lot of friends along the way, though, right? But we're still here. Scary. Isn't it? Very scary.

I'll be 64, October 11th. I'll be 64 February 19th. And we're still here. Look at you. You're still on the road. You're doing your thing. You're playing oceans, back-to-back nights. Listen, bro, if you don't use it, you lose it.

Okay? If you don't use it, you lose it. Again. Remember that. That's the last thing I want to go home. I want to be. That's the last person I want to be, is get up in the morning and put a robe on, put on the news, read the news, drink coffee, maybe go for a bingo ride or whatever the fuck old people do. Then they go back home. That's not going to let you last. That's not the key to. Listen, how long do you want to live for? You know, do I want to live in 88? Somebody else got to wipe my ass. Not really.

Depends. When you really think about it, you know. But look at Mick Jagger at 82. Still swinging those hips around? shit. You know, look at Keith Richards. He's like 82. So, your heart always rebuilds from the drugs. If you take care of that, you... I think drugs preserve you, though. Huh? I think

some drugs preserve you. Well, I don't know anything about that. All I know is that... Because I know some junkies that are 90 years old and still fucking kicking. I always thought Ozzy would be dead. And all that shit. You know, I always thought Ozzy would be dead when I got older. Look, he just died last year. So somewhere along the line, your heart heals, if you keep taking care of it.

If you quit cocaine and take up eating cheeseburgers, that's not going to help you either. Well, the cocaine will kill you. That's no. No, that'll fuck. All that shit will kill you. Last time I was on, you asked me, when's the last time I did it? You thought I was going to say 10, 15 years? And I told you a couple of years ago.

What's going on here? So, but I slipped. But besides that, if I've done it three, four times and since I've been married, 26 years, that's a lot. And I can't be around a lot of our friends that still party because I'm tempted. They do. I don't get tempted. No, I don't want to put myself in that position. I put myself in that position two years ago for New Year's.

I didn't touch it. People were doing it around me. Right in front of you, though. And I got really depressed on a wide home because that was me for 37 years. that's a waste of fucking time me telling a kid or a son they're gonna go you're an old man you know what you're talking about

trust me I'm telling you I was a waste of time you know except the times we got down for three days at the TikTok hotel you know what I'm saying but again we were 19, 20, 21 right there's room for error when you're 44

and you still scratch 8 o'clock at night let's bring that age group up. They're in their 50s. And then I was sitting there with my wife one night and that Dr. fucking Bowden

autopsy. Oh, yeah. He did an autopsy. They couldn't figure out why the guy died. It was like the guy exercised. He took care of himself.

He ate right, never touched alcohol. And one night at 61, he just dropped dead in his sleep. Dr. Bowden wouldn't accept it. It was just a hard thing. It was a look longer, so they started doing a talk

The guy had no nose left. He had been doing like a gram of Coke every night for like 40 years. She didn't even know he had the bank accounts. He just had bank accounts for drugs. And he just died of a heart attack. I was 61. I'm like, man, I don't want to die in my sleep from fucking doing blow. So he did a gram a day, a night for 40 years.

He was like a doctor. Okay, but if you, what I did in 10 years probably surpasses that. Right. No, no. And I understand that. And that's not the point of the story. The point of stories, I didn't want to die in my fucking sleep at 61. When I quit, I was already getting twitches at night. Like it would be like a lightning bolt. My whole body would just fucking. And I wouldn't tell nobody for like eight minutes. I would like fucking shop me. And then I would finish the Coke. That's insanity, man. That's not healthy. People get that first twitch. I twitch for about three months. And I said, that's it. I can't have this twitching because I'm going to die. This poor girl from Kentucky, where the fuck she's from, Tennessee? She's going to find me on her floor. Three months?

How often were you twitching every three months for three months? Four nights a week, baby boy. Four nights? Fuck, yeah. Three to four nights a week. See, I never got like that. Unless I was out with the boys drinking. I wasn't the guy at home saying, no.

I didn't twitch. I didn't need. But when I did it, though, I beat out the window quite a bit. Yeah. No, this is, let me give me an example. First of all, I wouldn't, I would never get Coke if I had to stay home. At that age already, I knew the difference between we threw away a ton of money

on just buying Coke to stay home. That's not going to happen. So remember, this all bound from the comedy store. So I would go to the Comedy Store 9. At that time, my spot would be at 11. So I wouldn't do Coke before I go on stage. I learned that the first six months of deluxe. in comedy. I thought I was cute and

did it and that's no good. So I never touched it again before I went on stage. After I get on stage, you get off stage, you're talking to people, somebody buys you a drink. You know, I would start with Coke and Lemon, then a bartender to pull me aside. And he goes, I've been counting your sodas. You average

36 sodas a night. Damn. That's why I was 418 fucking pounds. Why do you get up that big? Huh? You know. Jesus. I mean, it was like, it was time to stop. You know, And you were doing Coke at the same time? And you got that big?

Sleep apnea, the Coke, because I was waking up in the morning. And my wife would make a pack of bacon. Listen, a pack of bacon. Nice. Eat in the morning. Okay. Not two slices like normal white people. The whole fucking thing.

For me, she would already eat like yogurt for breakfast. She's healthy. She would make a whole package. My refrigerator, the whole bottom was Oscar Meyer thick-cut bacon. she'd make a whole fucking thing three eggs I'd get a whole loaf of wonder bread and a stick of fucking butter

I don't eat the whites I only break the yolk and dip it with the butter three pieces of bread for one fucking yolk and I would inhale that thing smoke dope smoke cigarettes

take a shower and make sure I was at McDonald's before 11 for the 11 o'clock breakfast so that was after a Coke night how'd you have an appetite after a Coke night because I would need to for a day and a half.

But what time would you go to bed? Sometimes I didn't. And you ate breakfast? I would just sit there. I couldn't, back in the day, I couldn't even touch food for at least a half a day. But that's what it was. And he usually started with an ice pop, like. I was eating, I was eating like a fucking animal.

It was like way beyond overeaters and on us. You were always thin, though. And then I got the longest yard. And they were feeding us like animals. So I was eating like an animal. You know what I'm saying? Like I was eating like a fucking animal. That was that at McDonald'sburg?

Yeah. On the fucked up thing is, on the fuck-up thing is like, On the way to Longest Yard, if you were in L.A., would you still eat at home with Terry and then go eat there too? Because I would do, by my fatist,

I would do that if I knew I had food coming. First off, when I was shooting Longest Yard in California, I didn't eat nothing at home. No? For those seven, 10 weeks? Because I would eat breakfast. was there. I would eat a high-powered. There I would get a like a triple-egg sandwich

with fucking eggs and with tomatoes. And then I would get a pastrami sandwich because the cook was a Jew and he made pastrami every fucking day fresh. So I caught that motherfucker at 6th of the morning. That's how I opened up. There was no cereal. There was no nothing. I'm supposed to take blood pressure medication.

I wouldn't take that either. You know, you're living crazy from your youth. but you can't live like that forever. So they said. So they say. No, you can't. You're going to have to go to, because what's going to happen? You're going to be out with your friends with night.

Oh, as far as that, though. You're going to pass out. They're going to take you to the ambulance to the hospital. Then they're going to find some shit. And here you are, 42. You don't go to the doctor because of needles. Well, that's why I avoid those situations. I do my thing.

I have my fun. Because I am still weak. I ain't a lot. I know you a long time. We went to Segovia right now, had a steak, and I sent you two tequila. Both of us would be snoring within five minutes, so don't give me that rap. No, don't even go to that. I guarantee.

I know you're still a fucking animal. You just learn how to shape it from time and time and time. So I guarantee that when I wouldn't do it, so I would bet against that, definitely. I wouldn't do it. But all that shit, like at the end of the day, like, I just, listen, there was nothing wrong but doing Coke for five or six years. It happens. It's a spell in your life. You know what I'm saying?

You live in Jersey, nor in New Jersey. You work in the city. Chino sells it to you right from the cut for 80 bucks a gram. Look, it's part of your lifestyle. But back then, not anymore. No, but no, there's people that still their lifestyle. You like to burn fucking wooden Pennsylvania at night.

Is that something new or this is... Leave it alone. Stop. It's his fucking whole thing, you know. Leave that poor bastard alone. All right. Yeah. So that was part of the fucking thing, Danny.

And all of a sudden, these people are becoming fucking rich around me. How many people fucking could become rich around me without me putting on the batteries and saying, come on, man, I'm doing something wrong. These people are giving away some money now. And all those decisions made me go, fuck it. And once I rocked and rolled without it for like two or three years, now you're not going to stop me.

because now I'm doing this on pure fucking energy and love. It's not chasing something. See, I was shooting the longest yard as I get cocaine money. Oh, you were getting high then. Oh, like a mother. I didn't know that. Not the first six weeks. When we were in Santa Fe, I got clean.

What was that, 04, 05? 0, 2004, the summer of 04. Because I saw it in 05. But once we hit LA, dog, I was like that, that dude in prison that talks you about the Bible for two years. He's the head of the Bible. Bro. He's back in.

He gets out of that thing. All of a sudden his homies come up bumping. You see that Bible go right up in the air. He's back. Oh, and I saw it a thousand times. And he comes back to the county? It's all bullshit. He's in the county a week later, 30-pons lighter.

Now it's cool in Hollywood to say that you're a Christian and shit again. Everybody's trying to shut your fucking mouth. What do you tell me? Look at me. I'm a Catholic guy. Who gives a fuck guy? The fuck is wrong with people. I saw that too when I was locked up back in the day in the county. All of them.

No, the Muslims, too. They be on the rug four or five times a dad. When I get out of here, man, shit. I'm going to be a good daddy to those nine kids. You're like, you can't even fucking spell. I tried to get your food order the other day. You spelled ham wrong. You know, how are we going to make this fucking happen here?

They would come back two or three weeks later, 30 pounds lighter, all smoked up, you know, but back on some peanut butter, then they get the weight, then they're in and out. So I've seen that myself. Here's what I think, Danny. This is what I've been thinking for a long time. And here's why I called you.

I hook up with Bobby Bend every time. Oh, Bobby. I haven't seen him in years. And it feels good. And I told him once. I told him after living here, tomorrow's my anniversary. Six years in New Jersey.

I left California six years ago. Right after the pandemic. I could have got a law degree by now, like an asshole. Two of me. I'm fucking around a basement talking to the U-Cocsuckers. But I could have a law degree. Two of them.

Two of them by now. and fucking been an attorney. That's how fast life goes, guys. I didn't make a joke. That's how fast it goes. Six fucking years. We all could have done something the last six years. So in my world right now,

I still got people offering me gigs, casino gigs, blah, blah, blah, blah. The numbers are consistent. You know what? I'm happy. Should I get a helicopter or do I want to be in arenas? I'm good where I'm at. I'm still existing. And what kept me to this existence

is what I learned in those preaching North Perth. This all goes back to that. Danny, you're in the same boat like me. You barely graduate high school. You went over the fucking the army, you did what you did, you came home. You're alive because this is all what you learned

banging around. I can't blame this on a college, and I can't blame this at one person. I was inspired by a lot of people on North person growing up. A lot more than most people would think. And some of the people were nice guys and some of them were bad people.

But I learned one thing from each of them. And that's all that fucking mattered. You were relentless. You were the one that always came back. You didn't care what they said. Maybe it hurt inside at times. But you didn't give a fuck. You marched on and you forthro.

Because I knew I would have a better answer eventually. Exactly. And look at you now. Yeah, I didn't give a fuck. How long you've been sober now? Or for that. 19 years, November. Wow, it's a long time.

That's a long time. 19 years. And I still got up going, fuck, how did that happen? And you said you were tempted a couple of times, no? Once I let it go, I knew where it would, I know what would happen right now

if I was to do a line of Coke. You wouldn't be here right now. I wouldn't be here. If I do a line of Coke right now, it's 63, within two weeks, you guys won't see me, probably.

I remember the first time I got to see you, 2013 down in Miami. Remember that? It came down there. You were playing Tracy Morgan, I think. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We did the festival.

You did the thing down there. I was like so proud of you. And you were just kind of freshly removed from the Coke scene in. Six years maybe. Yeah. It was 2013. So 19 years would take 207. But I remember Tracy Morgan was hopped up that day.

Probably. Because I remember me wanting to meet him. I want to meet Tracy. Me. And he was like bothering you that. guy and I, but he was hopped up, but it is one in this. Hey, Uncle Joey here. You already know your Uncle Joey loves this stuff. So here's the three reasons why your lazy ass needs to be on Zappley. Number one, the energy. I'm 63 years old,

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I got a mind right now. You could stretch. Look at this shit. That's a bad knee. And you imagine what I can do with a good knee? Ha ha. Listen, man, do I miss it? Like, do I miss?

I miss the lifestyle. I miss going on stage. Talking to a girl. she doesn't do coke, but I'll do a line. And next thing you know, we're back in the hotel room doing nasty, terrible things. And you sit there and go, what the fuck is this? You know, at one point of your life, I miss that craziness. I miss the doubt, the challenge.

I don't miss any of it. But not enough to make me jump back in there. Well, why would you? I know. Look what you have. because you got sober. You don't drink. You have a drink here and there?

Here and there. What do you have? What was that drink? Margarita. No, on stage. You used to take a shot once in a while on stage. You did? A meister, maybe.

Something, because I remember back when I was watched, traveled around with you a little bit. You would do a shot once in a while because they would cheer you on. Yeah. But I never saw that. I did. I did. This was 13, 2014. You're in fucking Miami performing.

You're fucking hot, all right? Would you bring a shot or would someone buy you? They were saying, no. Force them. They were like, have a drink, have a drink, and then he would have a drink. I thought he was saying it was a thing you did every night. I know one of those faggots.

Hi, let's do his shop together. Did you see a martini? No. Faggy applause. What happened? I have no idea. Did somebody spike my drink or something? Yes.

With what? I don't know. It's bird shit. No, there's nothing in it. There's nothing in there unless you want it to be. What do you got, big guy? I got nothing. You got LSD?

At the house. Really? I think that's pretty good for you. They say every couple of months. Sure. Not the situation I live because I'm alone. If somebody wants to come down and take the other one, you're always welcome. You do have LSD?

Yeah, but here's the problem with that shit. Number one, it's going to burn. You have LSD at your house. Yeah. My friend gave it to me. Who's your friend? A good guy. He's a good trustworthy guy.

He's giving me other things before. and they've always been good. He told me try it. When you're ready, he goes, the guy got it from makes some crazy shit. You can't trip alone. That's not fun. No, I mean, listen, I could do it.

My mom, I came out of my mom's pussy alone. You know what I'm saying? So what can I do alone? I love all that shit. But it's better with somebody else. But here's the problem. It's going to be an hour and a half buildup. I'm going to smoke a lot of weed to get it going.

And then you're going to have a two-hour, really good window. that we giggle and laugh and laughing a waitress and all that shit. And then it's going to be the quickest two hours you've ever felt. By 2 o'clock, you're ready to go to bed? No, you're not. I can't believe this ass would work like this. Let me be honest with you.

This podcast wasn't exactly what I expected to be. I thought we were going to talk some sports here. Everybody's talking about burning shit and getting high. This poor best, anyway. You're asleep. What time do you take? acid to be asleep by two. If I took ass at seven?

Not a chance. I'd be asleep by two, three o'clock in the morning. I only did it, whatever those few times. And I went to about a three that night. And Ari and I were there until three or four watching adventure time or whatever it is, that cartoon. And then I was up walking the hills of the valley at six in the morning, getting hot chocolate.

Dude, you can't sleep. And that mushroom's the same. I can't. You have such a tolerance that you can fall asleep. sleep. Well, it's time to go. It's time to go. Yeah, then you close your eyes and there's a time. It's fun to try to fall asleep, but you're fucked up. I put the fucking sleep out in your mask on. Put the blanket. You still wear that thing?

Fuck yeah. Does it help? But I'm here. I'm not nodding like a heroin fucking junkie. Listen, like a. Yeah, like a mask. A jet fighter. Keeps me alive. See, I tried to go for the testing, but I couldn't do what they wired me up. Oh, yeah. They wired. I couldn't get through it. No. I kept pulling the wires out. They kept the lady. And finally, when I started getting rested, she'd come in and check on me. I'm like, then I pulled the plug out. And then I'm like, I tapped out, like, three in the one. I'm like, Jay, come get me, right? Remember? So they gave me the one to take it home? Like three

weeks later, I tried that. I pulled the plugs out. And finally, I just accepted my fate. Now we just take some gummies at nighttime and whatever happens. I have no idea. Is he snoring? Well, we sleep in different homes. Depends. Oh, she snores, too. Stop. She snores, yeah. That pretty girl right there, she snores, yeah. Have you ever...

She farts, too, really? She does. But I'm going to hate it because she farts. I know. I like it, too, and shit. You got good feet, though. You're a fee person. What?

You like feet. You're a fee person, right? Sometimes. Depends what type of feet you show up with. You know, you show up with size 10. How are you doing over that? Look at him. He's a Jupy.

Is he gone? He's done. I think this whole audience right now. He's done. He's on his way The Lala No shit. You look like that thing

From the You got me You got me You got me You got me a few Miami was the first time You got me Remember I hugged

I didn't see if you're like 10 years You gave me the fucking Chocolate ball We're having a good time I walk you over You get a Cuban sandwich Next thing I know

You go to your room I'm in my room So I'm hearing shit I got the chair Now underneath the door I'm hiding in the I jump under the blankets like I did coke I was scared peeking out looking at the then I saw you and I'm like what

the hell did you give me like I think I gave you a little too much you know here's what happened I quit coke in November 2007 probably 2009 there was an invasion of weed stores I finally broke down and went to a weed store and guys I was hooked it was just a transfer of addiction from the cocaine. I was going into the store in 2009 that already had weed ice cream. They had all this shit that you would just go, what the fuck

is going on here? And I'd go in there with our dear friend Ralphie Mae. And that motherfucker would drop two grand in there every shot. Half a pound of this, 22 cookies, this, so he would give me this slack. So I was just trying to I would take weed

and edibles or me everywhere. Nick, you wouldn't even have a chance to talk to me. two, three minutes. Uncle Joey, how are? Good to see it. Eat this. Before this conversation continues, eat this. Pedro, Gordon, you're a model.

I'm out of here. Eat it. And it wasn't, well, I'm going to hold it for Tuesday. Because, no, no, no, no. Now, now. Let's do this. Let's go eat some Cuban food. Let's have a fucking good time.

So I was like an advocate. I remember coming over here with brownies and shit. Auntie Dolores was giving me shit. You remember that? And she gave me the pretzels. I gave me to the stewardess, and I never saw the stewardess again on Southwest. Bird Crush's father, my father. You went through, we were fucking people up.

If you were in the realm for five minutes, before we even say another word, you've got to eat one of these sheds. I'm going to toast right now. There you go, my brother. To birdie boy. So, yeah, it was unfucking believable, man. But Danny, as usual, man, it's always great to see that you're still doing your thing. I'm still doing my thing.

Still hustling. 33 years, like I said. Fuck! I still remember calling you when I was in California and about cars because I would drive past Frank Whatever Motors

every day. But you worked at the one in Newport Beach. Oh, Frank. Yes. On Pacific Coast Highway. Coletto. Coletto Nissan.

He had a small dealership in Hollywood. And at first I would walk and go up. I wonder if that Danny's place and I would walk in and look around I never saw you. And then I figured out where is they're saying, Danny, I walked by your business every day.

You're like, where? And I'm like, in Hollywood. You're like, no. I'm in fucking whatever the fuck. A long beach, I was on Gallo right on PCA highway. That was in the late 88 I worked there, Cokes, 88. Because I got to L.A. in 97. Yeah, I sold cars in 88 in California.

I think you were out there, though, back in the day. I was out there. I was already out there. You were there. Fucking running. and gunning. But the best was the night you saved me when I was going to just shoot my uncle on the middle of the street. That was not a good night for me, man.

I was fucking heartbroken. And I took a bunch of his wife's jewelry, his girlfriend, he had a girlfriend that lived over the bar. He knocked her up. And then he had an affair with her sister. And he knocked her up to, oh, yeah. This is Cuban slinging dick. No, it sounds like my stepfather. And the one mother came back with the kids. She goes, I don't want them. You take him so my uncle got stuck with the kid He lives in the backyard like a dog

They got him back there in a one bedroom apartment Fucking hilarious This is no shit I go out there He's treat me like shit I'm your fucking mother's Your sister's son You told me if I ever won't need anything

To come out of here Well I changed my mind He was just being a dick So he gave me a job bartender To try me out And I kept putting like a 20 here A hundred here I went upstairs when I 8,000, but I had like a thousand buried behind a wall.

Because he became a millionaire because he has these parties for Mexicans. They got no papers. He charges him $8 of Budweiser and 20 to get in, Doug. And he puts a band with guys of accordions. And he still works the door. He's 85 years old. He works every Friday and Saturday. What is this?

In L.A. He's still out there. If you watch the movie, what's the accountant? Yeah, with Pan Affleck. The accountant, too. Yeah, I saw that one too. That bar they're fighting that? That's my uncle's bar.

My uncle called me. He's like, oh, my God. They were paying them like fucking $8,000 a week. So he's like, I'm taking it. They shot for like four weeks. He goes, they rebuilt the whole bar. They refurnished it. He lucked out this motherfucker.

And his license is worth like over a million dollars. Because he got his liquor license. In 1969, at that time, you could fuck a mule in a bar in LA. You know what I'm saying? Because he said, he goes, when I got that license, a bunch of gay guys were trying to shake me down at the time because that was a good license. But you could do anything you want, smoke weed, fucking.

So he said, he goes, he's just holding out. But I ended up robbing him. As I was walking out the door. The family thing. Before I went into, I was just pissed at him. I was 21 years old. he was telling me shit, you don't tell a 21-year-old kid. And I had a gun then.

Had like a little 38 or something. And I went down, as I'm breaking into the wall, take the money out of the wall, he puts the light on. And he goes, I watch you till I do it. Leave the money there. And he goes, why did you do it? And I told him, you were a fucking douchebag. Look how you treated me.

My mother just died. What the fuck is wrong with you? So he goes, you better leave now. I go, I want some fucking money. And he gave me like $5. He said, don't have you. He was like, don't ever come here again. But he pulled the gun on me, so I pulled the gun on him.

So we had to go all the way out. He even gave me the phone to call the cab. Because I was going on to get a plane. Fucking three in the morning. There's no flights out of L.A. to anywhere. You got to wait until, like, 5.45 a.m. So I had him drop me off on a hotel by the beach. The next day I call you.

I don't know if you remember this shit. It was like a Sunday morning. I called you like at 9. You told me you'd be there by 11. you shut up like a three. I didn't give a fuck. Because I was heartbroken, I was depressed. I only had $700, but I also had a bag of jewelry.

And you came with a pizza, and I think J-mo. And I gave you the jewelry, and you gave me a little cash, and you brought me weed. I'll never forget you leaving going, how do fuck did I get myself into this predicament? And I couldn't even buy a plane ticket, so how did people express it? But I didn't have a credit card in the flight.

I thought I was going to beat them. I had the cash in my pocket. So when I got off the plane, I thought they were going to let me go. I had taken this flight for years. Not that day. People's Express. $99 flights.

Yep, not that day. That day they had three cops waiting from the outside. So they walked me and they go, where's the cash? Where's the credit card? And I go, I thought it was in my fucking suitcase. Obviously it's not here. I made this big thing.

What are you motherfuckers stole it? I want my rights and all these shit. I'm a lawyer. And like, listen, you got about 10 minutes to tell us how you're going to pay for this. We're going to get you for this, this, this. It was like a slew of charges because you know you're supposed to pay on that plane. I didn't know all these fucking add-ons. That's right.

You can pay right on the plane right there. It wouldn't tap you until the end. But they couldn't ring the card in. So if you got an old card, something that's stolen, it would fly. Because they're not going to find out that they take all these receipts in. Yep. Because everybody paid. on a fucking plane.

It was the biggest scam in America. I paid twice. And then I figured out with a stolen credit card, you could fly around the world with them. Because their base was Newark, and they flew to England, Denver, L.A. And that's all they did. L.A. Oh!

But they invented the Miami run. So in 1983, they had a flight every hour on the hour to Miami from fucking Newark Airport, $49. Right. $29 on the weekends. Are you fucking kidding me? Remember you telling you grandma, I'll be back later. Next thing you're in Miami on Saturday.

Grandma. Remember the $99 red eyes from Newark to L.A.? At Newark to L.A. Each way, $99 each way. No questions asked. There was nobody on a plane, maybe 10, 15 people, partying. It was just different times then.

It really was. Fun times. Well, people's expressmen out of business. And they had a flight to England, bro. I fucked up. I fucked up. You could get to England for $99. And a pet.

But they had a pinch. No reservations. First come, first serve. So you had to go out there and wait in line like the Beatles. But the places where I was going never had a big line. I never got stuck there. Thank fucking God. There was a thousand and one fucking scams.

and I hit them all. I was the king of all those motherfuckers. It really was crazy. Damn technology, right? Damn these apps. I can't believe I'm sitting in a room with a gentleman who I love in 2006. And we were sitting in a room together

in 1986 talking about how to move Coke from New Jersey to Aspen, Colorado. And then we started doing it and shit. This is real. That wasn't so hard back in the day, though. That was the easiest thing ever. Carry on.

Carry on. I would just put in an envelope, put in my balls. We fucking break it out right on the plane. Right on the plane. Get it out. Put in your carry on. Take a eight ball out and start doing lines on the plane.

That little junket plane from fucking... It was insane. That little junket plane you turn, take from Denver to Aspen. Yeah. A little woo. Oh, yeah. Six people on it. Six people on it.

Hey, you want something to the pilot? Rocky Mountain Air. The fucking shit. You know, the other day, my daughter was showing me some show. It became popular on HBO. She goes, people really like this show, Dad. And it's so stupid because it is a good show, but it's about people party in the 80s. And I had to sit it down and break it down for her.

Like, she's like, it's really interesting. I go, look, I go, Friends was the gayer part of the 80s. Like that's when New York When I came back in on E3 To stay with George I remember going to Manhattan one day and going What the fuck happened These kids wouldn't be allowed

In the bar in Manhattan When I was growing up Allowed They're in here drinking And ha ha ha ha Drinking water And making believe Dogg it was horrible

I was heartbroken Where I saw that You know we grew up in the 80s Every guy looked like he just stabbed his mother. You know, look at the pictures of us when we were 16. We look like fucking men. It's really fucking insane. And now I see guys of the 28 that are like, how the fuck are you 28?

It's crazy. So all that handicapped chain, all that handicap. That's what I was. That landscape, chains in New York. It was like, wow. Landscape, that's a good word. This is how quick this shit changed. Early 90s,

wasn't that bad. It started the changing of the God. By the late 90s, it was... Remember, all you see today, and if you really... Let's get down the facts here. When you watch... What's a show on TV that's about party? Name a show. I don't know. Even Narcos. What is it?

Jersey. No, forget the Jersey show. Like a T. Narcos. When they show you those party scenes and shit, what you're living in today, when you go into the city right now and you pay 200 to get in or whatever fuck it cost you, and then bottle service, and the more tip you give, the better you sit in VIP,

and they bring you sparklers when you buy a Domperianian or Chuchee, Chachar, 1971, you know, for $3,000. They make a big deal, so everybody in the room knows. And they're all just chasing, Studio 54.

Everything you see now, they've been chasing Studio 54. That can't be duplicated because there wasn't a club. It was a state of mind when she walked in there. The people that were going there were not people on the corner. Nikki and Louis, no.

It was professionals that went in there. Dentists, doctors, lawyers, and that's what they wanted around them. But that one thing they all had in common was they were all fucking savages. They didn't need a camera. they didn't need nothing. You walked in there, you dropped a bag of Coke on the fucking table,

and you went to war. You follow me? Nobody leaves till that fucking ounce when I have to done. It was insane. And you drank all night for $3,000. Seven guys, you know. Now I got to go out. I got to buy a bottle of it, be cool, take a picture.

I don't see it. I don't see it. And in reality, you're just chasing all the stories. you heard about Studio 54. I think most people do. I think most people do. It was different times. We had a great time.

Studio 54 was great back in the early 80s. I never went there when it was happening. In the late 70s is one. He's really kidding. I went there. Didn't Abe Garcia work the door there? I don't know. Somebody, Asklees had it in.

Because I remember, we'd always get in. Because Mike got me in. But in fucking... You know Mike Askeley's, of course. Only 84 we were in there one night. I got a peece so bad right now. I'm holding a light. I got to put on.

Can I walk past this count? Sorry, everybody. I got to go pay. You got to bear with me. I ain't going to miss much. It's all going to work out, Tarzan. How are you doing, Lee? I'm good, dude.

I'm good. How are you feeling? How's the name? I feel like, you know, tip-top magoo, except for the fucking knee. That sucks. Everything feels good, so. I saw the Bourdain movie.

How was it? Actually, really good. It was like, he, like, the guy who played him was fine, but it was just about one. I haven't seen any of those. Like, they, they have all had a lot for musicians and stuff. But it was just about one summer in his life. And he was like a very unlikable person the whole time. It wasn't like a bullshit Hollywood.

I had a good time. But I had no expectations. I've been trying to go to see The Odyssey. I can't get an IMAX ticket for a month. To see what? The Odyssey. The Odyssey. Okay.

That's crazy. I've never experienced this because there's only, I was looking because there's a, like there's IMAX and then there's like the way that it's actually supposed to be shown apparently. And there's only 40 theaters in the world and 25 in the U.S. And there's one in New York. But it's, are you saying it's three months out now?

Fuck. How long is the movie? Almost three hours, I think. I got one from the gray one of banana peel. I got that time to spare. you know what I'm saying? Yeah. I don't know.

Yeah. But I got like I honestly didn't care about it at all. And now that it's like the, everyone's talking about it and like this much bought out. It makes me want to go see it now. Okay. That's fair. It's not a poem.

It's like an 8,000 page book. You think of all I read the book at all? No. I should read the honesty. What do you got this week? Anything good? I got a lot this week. Vinnie's, Thursday, Wednesday, Thursday.

I'm headlining on Uncle Vinnie's. Down Point Pleasant. It's going to be a lot of fun. And then this weekend I'm going to be between Rodney's and St. Marks every night. Very excited. Look at you. Friday I have Rodney's. Saturday, I have St. Marks and Rodney's and Sunday have St. Marks. Come on, Andy.

So, yeah, starting to do a lot. And then I got Florida coming up, Boka and Tampa in September. One of those runs. What did I miss? the um actually Tampa just changed but Tampa the 26 I know that Saturday at six I'm headlining side splitters and then that would be the Wednesday it's probably like the 23rd I'm sorry um it's going to be the small room at the bulk of black box so I'm going to do that and then very excited I was excited I was going to um I really want you to come to my headlining show

but I'm also featuring for one of our good friends it was going to be Steve Byrne but he had to reschedule, so now it's Brett Ernst. Okay. I'm very excited. That's going to be a lot of fun. Side splinters. Good for you. What you did to my boy. I know.

He's going to be fine. He needed that. He needs somebody to push him off the ledge. Just one time. Tomorrow he'll wake up. Now he knows his limitations. Just get breakfast tonight. It's like going to prison.

You realize what things you don't want to do. He's all right. How are you doing? I know. You better give him a chance. chicken cutler, and this is B. That'll bring them back little by little. Oh, my goodness. Danny B.,

when does your whole program start? My program, my show actually starts season 33, this Saturday to 22nd. We've been open all year round, but we stop advertising after March Madness, the radio show ends, and we resume usually this time of the year.

It's a whole different animal. People don't listen to radio like they used to. Everybody's on their wraps and all that neat stuff. But I still have a presence, which still makes me somewhat relevant. Like I said, I got a couple of years left in me on radio. But I chug along, man. I chug along.

You do well still, obviously. It's not the same. Kind of burnt out because the whole dynamics is changing. Can't talk to people. You know, it can't help you if I can't talk to you. People want to text me, email me. You know, I got to know a little bit about you, what you're doing, your betting style. I want to hear your voice.

I want to know. If I hear your voice and you sound. suicidal? I'm going to talk you out of a bet. If I know you're down to your last dollar, I'm going to talk you out of it. See, I'm not the type of guy or a creep that's going to say, hey, take your rent money, fuck the rent, put it on the Cowboys today and pay your rent next week, you know? I'd like to talk to you, but you can't do that when you're texting. It's only so much you get out of a text or an email. So that's what's souring me, lack of communication with the younger generation because they know everything.

But the more I know about you, for example, what are your betting? Do you have weekly limits? Are you local? Are you at draft kings? What do you, you know, what do you come? Are you conservative? Are you aggressive? So that's missing.

So I'm not as, what's the word I'm looking for? Productive as I could be because I can't talk to people, you know? And that's the key here. Lack of communication. You communicate for a living, right? You talk to people. You make people laugh. People engage.

You know, there's only so much you can do unless you have a conversation these days, and that's what's hurting my business. And that's why I'm kind of losing interest in it. You know, it's not the same. It's different now. It's a whole different ball. But 33 years later, things change, you know?

Are those guys still in business in Vegas, like Tenorino and those guys? What's that? He was a quarterback in the Houston Oilies. Pastorini Pastorino Number seven Had all that

Yeah John Brody John Brody Remember him for the 49 Is he They were just faces They used their names Right right

But you know what I mean 90% of the businesses You know Hype You know like a lot of things though All businesses hype But I'm old school You know

I'm not trying to hurt nobody You know I'm not gonna tell you To bet more than you can afford to lose I You get a budget together Let me know

what you have, and we work accordingly. Manage that money, 1%, 5%. A lot of people, you have $200, $300. You want to bet it all on one game. It's great if you win. What happens if you lose? So, again, the biggest problem I'm having these days, Coco is communication with the players.

And again, it's probably only 5% to 10%. If we get 1,000 calls over the course of a week, we're only talking to 5% to 10% of the people. They call, we have a recorded line. where they get the games on a recorded message. You know, we put out winners, or sometimes they win, sometimes they lose. But only a small percentage

you'll press the button to have a conversation, and that's the problem. You know, you need to talk to people, and I think that's what we're going wrong these days. Even I feel uncomfortable getting picked from a machine. I want to talk to somebody. Right. You're on the phone, Danny.

Hey, what's going on, Joey? You put it in yet? No, not yet. But that's what we're doing. On the online. Remember the day? when you call in, how you're doing, how's your family doing? You know, you're upside down already, kid.

You're sure you want to press this? You already owe me $1,000. You sure? Back in the day, the book he used to protect you if he was somewhat friendly with you. He knew your limits. He knew what you can do or pay. Today, they don't care. Fire away.

Fire away. You know, they know next week when you get paid, you're going to put another $3,500 in your account. So there's no, I don't know. There's no humanity no more in it. There's no humanity, a lot of things. Yeah, exactly. And that for me, I'm as old as you are. I understand.

I want to hear your voice. A text throughout the day is good. I got to hear your voice early just to make sure we're on the same fucking page here. If you're investing money in somebody, don't you want to talk to them? You know, hear their voice, hear their compassion. And that's what's missing. You know, and again, if I'm talking to you and I hear your voice is crackling, and I know you can't afford to do what you're doing,

I'm going to talk you right out of it. But again, it is what it is. I just change with the times and go with the flow. Where can they find you, these savages? Oh, they can find me on db wins.com. DBWWWINS.com. DBBWN-W-I-N-S dot com. You don't have to download it.

Just look it up right now. Go to the website. You're sitting at the fucking computer. Look it up. You see them here. You see he's a solid guy. You know, everybody needs help from time to time. Because right after you win three straight, three straight weekends,

you're about to lose 22 of them. This guy shows up. I'll at least get you two more weeks, three more weeks. And that's a fucking reality. Sometimes we can't do it all by ourselves. Me, I bet on, I don't want to bet a lot, but when I do see something, then I double. You know what I'm saying?

I go in. A stupid UFC fight. something. I always try to get something going. But I'm not, so I'm not really attacking. I'm not throwing that much beginning. But you're not going to hurt yourself. You know your limits. No, no. You know, like you said, you guys went down Atlantic City. No.

At least still upset. This one's upset. A couple of guys won. Know your limitations. Don't bet with your heart. Don't bet over your head. Listen, the first night I lost 200. Flat. I said, fuck it. I went back to my room. The second night, I won like 400. And we tipped that night. We were tipping like motherfuckers.

Yeah. So, you know, listen, when I go down there to play cards, I don't play dice because it's too fast. The other thing, I don't know what I'm doing. The fucking red and black, I don't know. It's red or black. Yeah, red or black, I don't know. Sometimes it's green.

Sometimes that game. And everybody's standing there like a Jermoke. Number one, I got a bum knee. I want to sit down. So that's either a card game I don't know what else you could sit down These fucking jimokes I think in my life

I played forehands of blackjack Before I hooked up with you fucking jimokes I would play poker online HBO used to have a website They put some series out about gambling And they had a website playing Five card studs That's so funny

And I learned how to play cards on there It's not really your money So you bet like Johnny Gwamai You don't give a fuck. But I knew nothing about that. Blackjack is the most fun you can have. There's other games. Like, you might like Pagow because it's really slow.

But Blackjack is fun, especially when everyone on the table likes each other. Because then you're really rooting for them to bust. I'm not going to gamble to pay the rent. I'm not even going to gamble to make money to pay my car payment. That's the mindset you need. I don't have a mindset. I cash in $2,300. I take the $25 things.

I'd rather sit there for three hours than sit in my room contemplating what I just did on stage. So before that happens, at home I can handle it. But once I get to a hotel room, it's so impersonal. You're just sitting there. You think you're in a fucking helicopter.

Yeah, you think you're in a fucking, you know, for now. I don't tax it either. That's what I don't like about the legalization. The only problem I have is these younger kids, they're all day long. It's so tempting. there's no cutoff switch. So what, to weed?

That too. No, I'm talking about the gambling. Oh, yeah, yeah. I thought you were talking. You can set limits on there for yourself. Yeah, you can set limits for yourself on there. As far as, what, gambling? Mm-hmm.

I like sports gambling. But you have to do it. Your limits only because you don't have enough to keep going. Right? You've run out. No, you can set like actual dollar amounts. Like, I don't want to go over this much bet. Yeah, but you still have money you can add later on.

After like a cool down period, I think, or whatever it is. So there is a lockdown. You can lock yourself out. Like Draft Kings? Mm-hmm. Draft Kings, I could put as much money in there as I want. No, but what I'm saying. And when I lose, I lose and I sign up again.

Not this new sign up, but I never get rid of the app. It's a re-up. I just put cash in there. Whenever I want to place on. And that's what they count on. Every payday. Fridays, everybody, they know this guy that makes. I have to bet $50 a week on a casino game because I'm part of a contest.

Right. So every Monday or Tuesday afternoon, I blast that out of the way. I wait for a good time because it's never good to play casino when there's nothing going on. Like the other night, I think I had $28. I didn't want to bet the UFC. I started playing fucking, whatever, wheel of fortune. I won $218. Okay, because nobody's betting that casino.

That's when they want to lure you. So anytime there's big events going on, I'll switch on that casino. and I'm good like eight hundred ten times. I'll leave there with more money than I started with. Throughout the day, they'll suck in, but they have windows. And you'll notice the window. Right. Within the first 50 minutes, if they're to rob you or not.

It's great. You either hit a couple, whatever, and then you're done. I'm done for the week. Same thing when you walk into it. If him and I and Nick having a conversation and I ask them for a line or something, you know, I just want to know the line. It's not because I'm gambled or something. I bet something the other day that covered.

I bet the raise given two and a half against somebody last week when I was in... So I told you, I have two draft kings account. I don't know what to do. One has $190 for weeks now. And I can't tap into it unless I'm out of town. But I got a just sports bet. Oh, do you do it in Texas?

Yeah. So it's a different kind of bet. It's a different type of bet, yeah. So I got like $100. $90 on this one. Every day I turn it on. I go, oh, shit. The Lord threw me something.

Here's what you do with that money. You ready? In the NFL this year, win totals, you're going to like this. Giants over seven and a half wins. Jets over five and a half wins. Dallas over eight and a half wins. Eagles under 10 and a half wins. Seattle, under 10 and a half wins.

Thank God. College football. Texas plus 750 to win it all. So put that 190 into a 5 or 16 Pauli and let it ride. Like I said, I can't bet it here. Well, then when you go to Texas? When I go to Texas, I'll call you. You better get there before the season starts because those who can't bet that no more.

I'll be there Saturday. Oh, you can still do it then. Yeah. It's before the regular season starts. I definitely. With every dollar in there. Oh, 190. Where do they go again?

Where they go to find you at? DBWins.com. You can catch a replay of all the shows. We're in like 10 different cities right now going into football season. I do a lot of call-ins. But, yeah, if you want to catch a replay of all the shows, just go to the website. I have a little website there that carries the radio shows.

You know what I'm going to do this? I'm trying to get all of North Bergen people to do a contest with me called Neighborhood Picks, where I grab everybody's opinion that wants to participate from the neighborhood. And I put a little contest together, you know. announced the winner and we'll put it on the website. Why not?

Because chick will call you every fucking bet. That's why. He's the Paul A. that's why. No, straight bets only. This will eliminate Chick's auction. For the first time in 26 years,

your wife will rip the phones out of the fucking walls. I love Chick. But his, he always, he goes, you know how he does, he goes, dude, 15 games, shit,

13 of them, 13. But you didn't hit, though, you lost. Right, but I still hit 14.5. But you didn't make no money. No, the guy locked up. I shut the fuck up, chick. Everybody who goes 14 and O

and they didn't call it in, I don't want to talk to you. No, I'm thinking about putting a little contest together because everybody knows this. Everybody thinks they're the best at what they do. So just put together a little like, and I'll announce it on a radio show everywhere. I'm thinking about doing something like that. Neighborhood picks.

I'll give me a try. Who do you like? Who do I like? Yeah. I don't know nothing. You do know something. Not anymore. You don't need to.

Not anymore, man. I got to wait for the season to start, and then I just start watching. You get a little feel for it after the second. Yeah. You go for that one o'clock game. I'm not saying I'm not going to bet the first weekend. It's tough. I'm like every other month in America.

I'll definitely bet the first weekend. And then I really get excited about the first month of basketball. Because the lines are soft. See, I can't watch it more. Just the month of November. That's it. After that, they catch the first month. You know, but every once in a way you catch somebody sleeping and you try to capitalize on that.

And that's what gambling. That's how it helps. So if I want to fucking hold on a 13, I just got to back my shit. Sacralogist. What's the over under on the Patriots this year? The win total? Yeah. I don't know.

Oh, you also like Arizona Cardinals, over three and a half wins. And I got nothing. I got September 1st, I got a Q&A with my favorite author, T.J. English at the cutting room on whatever, there's 40-something street. Please get tickets. Tickets are moving. I don't want to hear no shit. I'm not adding a second show. It's one show only. I'm trying to get them to get some bookstatter sign and all that type of stuff. I got fall dates, but we'll break that in September right now. You guys are focused on vacation and fucking getting school clothes and bags and shit. So we don't know nothing. You understand me?

We just know we'll come back in September and drop it on you. I want to thank my brother, Danny Bianculo, and his son, obviously, for coming up from Pennsylvania and fucking, and his beautiful wife, but his son was special to meet the next. We baptized another North Bergen child. Something that I could see he needed, you know what I'm saying? How do we baptize him? I guess he ain't driving us home.

None of your fucking business. He's in no danger. He's going to eat a sausage, a chicken color. That'll balance him out so he can walk up the stairs. And he'll be fine. A Dr. Pepper or something, he'll be fine. That's fucking stare well, though. Yeah, I got the recipe for all situations, okay?

That's what he needs. A little chicken color protein and a little fat from that sausage. He'll be back in two fucking minutes. I love you, motherfuckers. Love you, too. Thank you again for watching, and we'll see you in two weeks. next week we're off we gotta take a family vacation everybody so everybody's off next fucking monday so we'll see you august 30th how's that or 31st whatever that monday is because september 1st is

the tuesday so whatever that monday is that'll be the monday i love you motherfuckers thank you again stay black