Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Joey Diaz' Seventh Grade Teacher

Episode Date: November 26, 2024

John Barone was a teacher and coach in North Bergen, NJ for 49 years; and had Joey as a student during Joey's second stint in the seventh grade. Joey and Mr. Barone talk about the teacher who broke a student's arm and the parents who beat that same teacher up, why Joey threw Mr. Barone's car keys away the first time they met, and Mr. Barone being the one to say that Joey was, "changing flavors." Support the show and try BlueChew for free at https://www.bluechew.com Support the show and get cell service for just 15 bucks a month. Head to https://www.mintmobile.com/DIAZ Support the show and download the DraftKings app. New players get $100 instantly in Casino Credits with a $10 wage with code JOEYSLOTS

Greetings you bad savages. It's Tuesday the 26th of November. It's the Church the New Testament Let's get this party started the Church New Testament is brought to you by Bluechew Listen, if you've been wondering if blue chew is all it's cracked up to be the answer is yes Bluechew is an online service that delivers ED meds right to your door with the same active ingredients as Viagra Cialis, Levitra, but at a fraction of the cost and you cannot go wrong. I love blue chew You know, I'm old but every once in a while you're a little loving to me and blue chew never lets me down Don't miss out on the best sex ever blue chew got your cupboard You understand me when they're laying there looking at you like what the fuck just happened

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Visit Bluetooth.com for more details and important information. And I want to thank Bluechute for supporting the podcast. Turn off your TVs, run for your lives. It's over. They didn't put you on this planet just to give up. I thought with Joey you could do it. I can rule the world. That's what you gotta be thinking.

Welcome back to church. What's happening you savages? It's a beautiful day to be alive. We're back. Don't tell me the walls are bare. You know, who gives a fuck? We're coming at you and that's all that matters as we build we get prettier and prettier and prettier. All right today my guest is, you know Lee's always here. I can't get rid of him. He's like a fucking he's like dog shit. He's everywhere But my guest is somebody who's very special to me. I'm happy I got him on the podcast

I promised you real motherfuckers and this is real as it gets mr John Barone my seventh grade teacher the second time What's happening mr. Brown you're much better after one year of practice yes It was really amazing, you know, we're just talking about where you came from I always knew you had come from a different school. And then, your first year there, I had Kingwell. Oh, he's bad news. And he was fucking, he was rough, this dude.

He used to give you oral book reports, but I'm happy because now I read because of him. You know how he got in trouble? He broke a kid arm put just punch him because the kid I forget his name He walked up to King on the hall and he said let's have a contest. So King will said yeah, let's go He said let's see who could punch the easiest So he goes you go first. Mr. Kingwell. So Kingwell goes like this to him. So now this kid says, now it's my turn.

He hits him so hard, they heard it in the first room all the way down the hall. He went, ah, he got so mad, he ran after the kid and broke his arm with a punch. He says, Kimmy, I gotta get even. And he broke his arm. He had a broken arm there. Came into there a couple days, couldn't move it for a year.

I started McKinley in the sixth grade, so I had Lovito, but throughout that whole year there was drama with Kingwell. There was always drama with him. I was not there the day Alex Carvajal's father, the beast, he said something to the kid's daughter. He said something to Martin Perez's sister, or something happened. She went home, told the father. Now for anybody who doesn't know,

I mean, I don't know if you ever heard him talking in your house, Alex Carvajal, this was a different type of animal. His father used to sit on 26th Street with a big Cuban cigar on the corner, tremendous, great family, Maria, I still see them, right? Maria was in our class, all of us. This fucking Mr. Carvajal

had a quarter to three all you hear is and it's like what's going on come in and mr. Carvajal comes in with the cigar with the big gold chain he goes I'm gonna do to you what'd you do to my son and they started fist fighting in the class I mean this was raw. So everybody, and he had another beef with somebody else. So this was the reputation he had at that school. I got one more thing about him. Go ahead.

He drove a kid crazy and like on him, on him, on him. The kid said, I'm gonna get my uncle after you. So he says, get your uncle, bring him in here. Sure enough, a week or so goes by, there's a Marine in the hallway one day. You know how our hallway was. So I said, can I help you? He goes, yeah, I'm looking for a Kingwell.

I said, he's in the room next to me. Because I knew he was going to kill him. All you heard, all you heard was like, when you get punched in the teeth, that he knocked three of his teeth out. Was he wearing the Marines outfit? He had his Marine thing on. I said like, what is this guy doing here?

But then Kingwell didn't talk to me for months because why did you tell him I was next door? I said, because you're always, I felt like saying, because you're always bullying kids. I think you deserve something like that. He did something, remember my seventh grade year, he ripped his Achilles tendon. So we got Mr. Miss for a while,

and that's what was pretty fucking cool. Mr. Miss was a good-looking motherfucker he looked like Robert Redford so whenever he taught the girls would fucking be like all fucked up in the seventh grade. Big old white yoke motherfucker but then I still remember you know McKinley was Buckwild and it wasn't Buckwild in comparison to Horace Mann, Lincoln, I remember you used to always say, the kids at Lincoln, they bring them to the games with chains on, I used to fucking die, you know.

They were throwing sinks one year out the third floor, so that's it, they got like tortured after that, Lincoln School, Kennedy School was buck wild, with Calangelo and all those guys. Every school in the system had like this weird thing. When I went to McKinley the first year, it was okay. Like, here's the funny thing. Ms. Brando was pregnant.

It was the art teacher. The art teacher in the sixth grade. But I had the biggest crush on Ms. Brando. So I grabbed her tit one day in the sixth grade art closet. And she's like, what the fuck are you doing? And I was so in love with Miss Brando all the way till high school. Every time I saw her,

I just grabbed the tit out of principal. And she go, Joey, what the fuck is wrong with you, Coco? This is McKinley in the sixth grade. You realize if one of these things happened now, the entire like school district would be shut down? Oh, they'll shut it down anyway. Who gives a fuck? We did something like that every week.

Every fucking week we were torturing people. And the principal didn't get in trouble with super. In fact, I may write a book. Yeah, you have to. I might write a book. Listen man, do you remember the pilot program? You were very vocal about the pilot program. Pilot program back then was when you hit 16 and you were still in the seventh grade.

I love that it happened so frequently. You became a sophomore automatically the next year. It was called a pilot program, but Mr. Brown goes, you see these kids? They drive to school, they got hair on their legs. He goes, I seen the one guy. He had a kid in the back Fucking hysterical. This is fucking you can't write this shit guys. Yeah, so I had king well and then I got caught playing hooky with a girl. You remember new yorker and then I failed like two classes. So I had to go to summer school for geography,

which I fucking hated, and math. And I went to summer school, but before you leave for summer school, you're supposed to go to the class you're supposed to be in the next year. Okay, so if you're in the seventh grade, you sit with your teacher in the morning and then in the afternoon at 12,

you go to your class and you meet your teacher and he tells you what's your teacher in the morning and then in the afternoon at 12 you go to your class and you meet your Teacher and he tells you what's gonna happen in the summer. What do you expect from you next year? So they didn't send me to the eighth grade. They sent me to mr. Barone's class and mr. Barone started fucking torture me I'm gonna have you sit up front because you're definitely gonna fail. You're a fucking loser You're a mook and I'm like this guy's trying to you actually did well no but that's what it was with you but this is how we met so he pissed me off so much that I stole his fucking car keys right he had the Toyota hatchback threw him in a dumpster I threw him in the dumpster I'm home an

hour later we're about to go play basketball and shit and I see a fucking Toyota coming around the block You fucking took my keys Yelling the whole thing and I'm like I'm dead. I'm dead. They're never gonna like me ever again So I go to summer school. I play hooky. Mr. Dalton pulls me aside and goes listen don't come back no more Just have Carmine call the school and we'll push up to the Eighth grade that didn't happen and in my mind how retarded I was I that I thought Carmine We're gonna actually call the school and just promote me because I'm fucking his friend So the first day of fucking seventh grade, I'm marching into the eighth grade. I go Carmine call

They're like nobody fucking call so they put me in his class. Now I thought he was gonna torture me. Guys was completely different. It was amazing. It's like he had forgotten it. But then he talked about the Jimmy Pearce, since we have all these Red Sox fans here. He told the story about, we, fear strikes out.

Jimmy Pearce. Look at that. That's how good of a teacher. I still remember this shit. And all the Boston fans here You know Jimmy Pierce all is further name. I don't know fuck yourself Go fuck this They said jump out of the stands and fight him

Jesus Christ, everybody hated the guy too. Cause he was crazy. He hit a homer and he ran around the bases backwards During a game? Yeah, he hit a home run and he turned around and it took him like three minutes to go around the bases. Hysterical. And I have another Kingwell story. I know. Is he still alive or are we gonna have to believe this guy?

He's in Florida, he's in Florida I heard. Maybe, maybe he's in Florida and Tampa. Remember the five corners there? Yeah. There was a bakery. Yes. That was his dad, who owned the bakery. He used to go eat there every day.

I never knew that. Yeah. If you go in Liberty toward school, it was on that first corner Bakery Wow, I didn't know that I Forget the name of that bakery. Yeah five corners there that had the Was it candy store a candy store?

the sugar bowl candy store The bank the stereo store where you bought stereos and washer and dryers. I don't know what was on the other corner. I don't know Mr. Biggs is in the middle. The hairdryer place, the women's haircutting place. Frank the barber. But it was, you spoke about Jimmy Pearsall

and you cracked the joke that they had him in a padded room and you fucking killed this. You were killing this that they got him in the room and they tied him up and he ran around the bases backwards and it was a different approach to teaching. I had been a Catholic school and then I had fucking Lovito who was a great teacher also and then Kingwell was just, Kingwell meant well.

Do you know what I'm know, Kingwell meant well. You know what I'm saying? Kingwell meant well. My whole room, we used to play volleyball at lunchtime. Yes. Remember? Yes. The only reason why I played, I tried to knock his wiggle. Lovito. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And once the kids, once I did it once, one time I hit him square in the head. The ball and his the kids went nuts.

So I wanted to keep doing it. I never, I was never able to do it. Wait, are you saying volleyball or dodgeball? That was Lovito. Volleyball, volleyball. Okay. Dog, the year that I got there. Smash it at him.

The year that I got to McKinley, I was on the up and up. And like the first month, somebody put acid in Mr. Greste's coffee in the morning. And at lunchtime, he never came back. You know what? Mr. Greste and Mr. Lovito came to a show of mine in Point Pleasant. And I go, Mr. Lovito, remember when Eddie Lomenca

put the fucking acid in his coffee? He goes, ask him, he's here with us. I had a big argument with him. Mr. Dresda. He used to, on Fridays, let all the kids buy bagels on Fridays. Who, Lovito? Lovito. Every Friday, if you were in his class, you could buy a bagel.

So now, a couple of weeks went by and I said, I can't believe he's doing this for the kids. You don't do nothing for kids It's very you know, so I said to the kids How much do you pay for the bagels? He goes here? He's got a menu He gives it to me when I look at the menu. He was added on every bagel You know what I'm saying, yeah, In other words, he knew the price, so he made up his own menu, but he added 50 cents on each bagel.

I love it. I went up to him, right, in his face, and I said, how could you cheat? These kids don't see 50 cents in a week, and you're getting two bagels from him? What a group of teachers we had in that place. Dog, it was, we'll tell you who else I met there, I still think about it, all the time.

She was the best lunch lady, Mrs. Sabatino. Yes. Fuck, she was gold, man. Gold, she always gave me that extra oatmeal cookie that Marco made, because Marco used to make those at home, those oatmeal cookies. Fucking tremendous.

But, since you're talking about volleyball, this is how crazy McKinley is. We have some crazy principles, too. Oh yeah, yeah, I seen Leo Gattoni get hit in the head by Louis Aldebar in the basement, but this was the classic, this is the classic North Bergen McKinley story. We got a gym teacher called Mr. Tottoro.

Oh, that guy was a little crazy. And we're playing volleyball. We're playing kickball outside. It's the seventh grade against the seventh grade. I don't know what the fuck it was, but we're all playing. Now, every time I go to kick the ball, the Italian kids are going coco. Cade moco Right, they're just yelling coco. Cade moco and mr. Tator is saying

Hey knock it off with that shit and the kids kept saying it the mainly anthony balzano So this motherfucker has the balls to go up to anthony and say say one more fucking time and anthony goes Coco. Cade moco. He grabbed anthony martin goes Coco Kade moco he grabbed Anthony Martin Perez went to jump in he grabbed Martin and then I had him from the back and he banged their heads and he grabbed Me and he banged our heads Fucking Anthony said fuck you pop about this is in the morning. I Still remember that I had a Pete Rose jacket and you told me Pete Rose was Cuban. I almost jumped off a fucking bridge And I asked him I go. How do you know?

He goes I saw him on TV with kindest corner and he was talking like he had a stomach problem He was speaking Spanish. I was fucking dying. I was fucking dying, right? So I got this little faggy Cincinnati 14 jacket with the C So I got this little faggy Cincinnati 14 jacket with the C And we're outside and all sudden we're headed to the principal's office, but Anthony breaks away from them goes fuck you I'm calling my father. I'm calling my father. He goes upstairs wall sitting in the principal's office He asked the lady can I got a piece of paper? Let he gives him a white piece of paper Anthony starts doing this shit and he puts all his hair on a paper and

then he goes take your hair, shake it in there and when Carmine walks in, like he called Carmine, there was a payphone in there in the principal's office and there was a little payphone. He called him dad, I don't know what's going on, Doug, it must have been eight minutes later. You heard the walkie talkies through the hallway and there was Carmine with another cop, you know with a uniform And they're like what's going on nothing? So he goes downstairs Carmine comes in he asked Anthony what happened Anthony told him he goes shut up Anthony Cochorini what happened? And I'm like the dog what Anthony said the guy hit us. We were just talking Spanish. He goes, nobody cursed at him? No, Mr. Maytash.

You know, you had him? Yeah, I had Mr. Mustache. You know how he died? How? One day he says, I won't be in for two days. I says, why? He's all the snow. I'm going to my house down the shore

and I'm gonna shovel the snow. People are complaining, because it was like a snowstorm. So he went down there, he never comes back the next day. So everybody's worrying, worrying. He froze doing it and died, took a heart attack. They found him frozen in the snow with his shovel.

I told him call somebody and pay him, he wouldn't do it. Did you feel guilty? Cause you used to call him George Jetson. Yep. Remember he had like a George Jetson hairdo? He remembers that. Come on dog. I forgot about it.

You used to call him George Jetson. Oh, no fucking George Jetson would bother me. So we're open to the office and Carmine's got the walkie talkie. I'll never forget that walkie talkie. And he's like, listen, Mr. Mustard, I just want to talk to him to see if my son was wrong. Ba ba ba ba ba ba. He doesn't want to come out.

He's scared. The guy opened the door like fucking Kato, like in the Pink Panther, when he would open up the door, hello? You know, that type of shit. Carmine had a gorilla fucking hand. Carmine had the biggest prosciutto hands You ever saw he just grabbed this guy took him out and started pouncing them guys and we're like

What the fuck is going on and he just started punching him the guy dropped and he goes come on everybody's going home That was it. We went home. We came back and Mr. Tor was gone. I never saw him again. I walked into the high school two years later. I'm in his fucking homeroom. And he comes up and he goes, Cochorini, if you don't wanna show, don't worry about it. I just remember the Carmine Kingwell thing.

I don't remember the Carmine Kingwell thing. He's having, he's got, his son's got spelling with Kingwell. Now, the kid's failing spelling. He's getting like, he's failing every test. The kid comes in my room and he shows, I go, let me see one of your tests. Look at one of the tests.

Kingwell was giving them 20 words, but he was taking 10 off for every one they got wrong. So nobody noticed it but me. I said, that means if the kid got them all right, you got to give him 200. If it's 20 off for each, sure enough, the father found out. This kid goes home tells Carmine, Mr. Barone said, he's cheating. That's why I'm failing. He came in and I was called to the office.

And the first thing Gattoni says is, will you take him in your spelling class? Because I want to switch him to you. So of course I'll take them now He says the king well, you ever do anything to my son again I'll blow your head off in front of everybody there was six people in the room You can't do that. Think about it Think about it

You don't really have to think about it. He did it. He got away. Oh no, no, he couldn't do that to the kids, no. But he was doing that for like, probably way before you. When I was there, yeah. He had something kinky, because he would give you like a minus 40 and shit like that

and look at you with a straight face and you're like, what the fuck did I do? There was so many kids in that class that was so fucking confused. But that whole era when you taught us. I didn't know you had Matesh. He was huge. Yeah.

And then. George Jensen. We couldn't find a basketball coach. And we kept talking about it. We knew nothing about his fucking background. We're just like, you know, pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa pa. And one day he goes, I'll go by the courts This fucking guy starts popping dirty footers without even looking at the basket

We're like Who the fuck is this guy and he goes who the fuck am I? I'll tell you I'm in the Hall of Fame in the job I'm like, ah, here we go. He's blowing smoke up. This guy came with pictures the Miami Floridians the ABA and we were like No, and I remember showing up in his house one day like we used to get off at one on Fridays And I took my fucking bike and I went up then I go, you know I want to learn how to shoot and he broke it down for me man how to fucking drop your wrist He would make me shoot close to the basket. Your brother Joe used to come out I still remember getting tackled by Joe Jumper on that block.

He fucking tackled me one day playing basketball. You know, it was amazing. I went from fucking sucking. McKinley went from 0 and 7. He turned that whole team around. Chuck McBreen was taking pointers from him. I mean, he just got the fucking ceremony at his Ramapo College. Jim got named after him.

These are all the guys that you touched. You know, there was a bunch of us that you were like, it was just amazing. And then after that, you were the favorite teacher in the school. And then we went to the eighth grade, and I had Miss Walsh, and the other guy was Miss Virga. But Miss Virga-

She wouldn't say, give give you me I was asking her Could you switch? I'll give you two girls She wouldn't switch you I Like miss wash we thought we drove she told us she goes I've been here for 40 years Nobody has ever broke me. We broke her 40 years, nobody has ever broke me. We broke her. Don't fucking, you know, we used to go to shop right and steal hubba bubba and fucking 10 packs a piece and go into class. And we had the Orlando Salcedo, God rest his soul, he died during COVID. And about 130, he would start, wow. Wow. And then we had an Italian kid, Michael Allegretta off the fucking chain smart and we'd hit him in the head

We play hockey we hit him in the heels with the hockey stick and he go. Hi. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah That motherfucker's gotta be like a neurosurgeon today or something like that we had Charlie Gizzi The guy who used to every time a plane went by he'd get up and shoot it down During the class we had Richie Colombo I remember him. The guy who used to, every time a plane went by, he'd get up and shoot it down. He was gone. During the class, we had Richie Colombo. Mr. Barone, he used to comb his hair a certain way. Like, I don't know, he'd have a blow dryer or then have water or something.

He used to take the comb and block it to the middle and just push his hair down. And one day during attendance, Mr. Barone goes, Colombo what'd you call me with a stick of dynamite that motherfucker didn't know what he was just cracking people and that's attendance was the biggest thing in North Bergen every people but some people did it lame and some people did it pretty good but the day I knew that there was something weird about us, that something was not right.

You know what's sad though? Teachers today can't do what I do. No, they don't do what you do. I would have got arrested and fired if the teacher ever did what I did with the kids. Nothing was bad. Nothing was bad? But it was fun. It was fun getting along with all of them. Because

once they left my room, they weren't the same. Even just the haircut thing would have been enough. The haircut thing would have been enough. I'm in four Hall of Fame's. That did it. That did it. I'm in the high school, my high school one where I played. I'm in the high school my high school one where I played I'm in the North burger one for coaching 30 years I'm in the Hudson County on and my balls in the real Hudson County because I got all the free throw record I know the one right you know nobody has touched your record Really somebody broke 74 When I check it sometimes it says I'd still go and sometimes it says it's not.

So they don't know what they're doing either. But they didn't realize once they left, people would say it, they would come in my room and go like this to me. Because they saw these guys being good. Like, how did you do that? You gotta be nice to them. I still remember they had that glue, not Hellman's.

Not the fucking white stuff. But no, not the cement glue. And I'll never forget, we're sitting in the front row, and Mr. Barone's playing with it playing with it playing with it And also he looks at me goes what's this remind you of? I had just seen it for I had just come maybe two weeks before that so I'm fucking dying I'm like, ah, he's still got a mr. Barone. If I didn't know your name, I called you wolf gang Do you know how many people I see today?

I'm in a chop right, I gotta go, oh, Wolfgang. They call me. And this was way before Wolfgang Puck, like where did you come up with Wolfgang? It's just that name. That was Eddie Munsters, fucking something. That just got me. Who?

That just got me, Wolfgang. Wolfgang. Hold on, and this might be the wildest start to a podcast we've ever had. We barely introduced him and we're talking, like how old were you at this point, do you think? When I started? When you had Joey.

When I started, 22. I don't think your daughters were born. No. No. No, they were born. No, no Patty was a fucking knockout. I'm gonna first time I saw your wife. Holy shit Mr. Barone got it going on and shit. Holy fuck. She was good-looking and like So you knew it sounds like you knew like you'd heard of Joey when he was coming to your class for seventh grade the second time

Like you like did the other teacher warn you? Kingwell. We got along but I was strict with him the first time he was in my class. What did Kingwell tell you about him? What have you heard about Joey before you met him? Kingwell hated everybody. So I could I couldn't, if he was normal, I could say, yeah, I remember him saying so. He hated everybody, had every nationality. And I don't know what national, he was German. Yeah, he was German. He was Nazi.

He was a Nazi. He was German. He hated everybody. He hated the teachers. He hated, one time, Maytash says to me, I want to play a little, what do you call it? Poker. On the board. Backgammon?

In the gym, we used to set the table up and we used to play. And I can't think of what you're't think I don't know what the fuck table tennis Okay, so now King what he said to me mate dish. Come on. I'll have your game So King well, he is him and he comes up to me. He says I Want to play him? I said yes me to play him. He was no I want to play him. I said, he asked me to play him. He goes, no, I want to hit that ball and cream him with it. So I said, yeah, go ahead. I want to see him do it.

Do you know? God heard that. Maitish could have won a gold medal in the Olympics. He killed Kingwell. And what Kingwell wanted to do with him, he had a black eye. And everybody laughed at every game he lost. It was like a reward. So I said to Mates the Maytash I said

Where did you learn how to do that? She says well, that's the three years. I was gonna be a priest He said that's all we did The priest we had a table and we played tennis for like ten years. He did that played every day Poor guy had a die shoveling. Yeah, cuz I think I only had him we had good Tony And then mate no I first started with the king mr. Muir Jack Come on now come on now Mr. Muir he was just abandoning ship when I got that was damn it and then we had Virgo left and then Mr. Lindsley replaced him.

Who was coming? The main hero, Weehawken who? Yeah, he's coming on the show. Yeah. He's coming on the show in a couple of, when he comes up from Florida because. I grew up with him in Hoboken. He lived right across, right around the corner from me.

He comes up to me one day and he says, you work in the summer, do they give you a job? I go, no, he goes, I'll give you a job. Come to Weehawken Municipal Park. I go there and he says, I go, what am I gonna do? He says, do you know Turk, do you know Turk Jordan? Oh, we'll get into Turk Jordan in a second. Okay, he said, here's your job, John.

See that guy over there with the wig? I go, yeah, he's crazy. He goes, yeah, I want you to work with him, do whatever he does. And if I only lose 10 votes a day, you're doing a great job. He's crazy, that guy. Who, Turk or Wally?

Turk. Bro. He's a crazy, I'm from Hoboken, you know how many nuts I know from Hoboken? He was worse than all of them. Okay. He was gonna coach us in the eighth grade for a while. He showed up, he had felonies. He couldn't do it

Something happened, you know, hey when that happens we kept busting his chops He's like I'm going out tonight cuz when the fucking eighth grade seventh grade this cuz I'm going out tonight I'm getting my dick sucked and all this shit. So in the eighth grade we finally go mr Turk when he gonna get us cuz we already had an adventure with him in the city He took us to see the Sixers against the Knicks on Christmas day. He told us he had tickets. The day of the fucking game, we get them.

He goes, I got no tickets. We're stubbing our way in. Give me five dollars a piece. He took us into the Knick game. We're like little fags. We had the basketballs and the Kn-shirts and shit you know and this guy's got us all the way in the top some guy kept walking past with his family he grabbed me goes get up one more time I'll fucking kill you then they threw us

out of there then he went to another area the guy was getting up and he told them you could have got more exercise at the YMCA then they threw us out of that section now there's three minutes left this guy bet the loser because he's a fucking stiff, but I loved him. And some guy goes, he's on the floor. And some guy goes, can you move please? Ask Whitey. It was me, Whitey, Chuckie, and somebody else.

And he tapped him. He turned around. He grabbed the guy's wrist. And he started, ah! And the guy's like, ah! And we just left him. We just ran out of there, ran to the Port Authority. So he asked us, what happened? We're like, Turk, listen, if we just left them. We just ran out of there ran to the Port Authority So he asked us what happened with like Turk listen if we have a winning record

Can you get us laid? And he goes absolutely I'll get you laid. Okay Eighth grade summer. I go to five-star basketball camp. I don't graduate because there was a huge snow week We there was like 18 inches of snow every two weeks, so we were closed for a week. When I come back from Five Star, I get a call from him one day. It's like July 8th. He's gone.

And he's like, lunchtime, I just happen to be home. Hello? Go, go! Turg Jordan here. You're going to be at the 38th Street courts for a little while? I go, yeah, all of us. We're going to play right now. He goes, I'm bringing you down some presents.

And I had forgotten about the lady. I had forgotten all about that, he was gonna get us laid. I thought he was bringing his basketball shirt. Sure enough, we're on 38th Street running back and forth. He pulls up with a fucking Cadillac. And he's like, guys! Lincoln, a Lincoln Continental.

Something. An old one. A fucking huge car. And he goes, guys. I got something for you I'll never forget the way he rubbed his hands He goes come here and the back seat was a chick laying there with a shirt ripped and the chits sticking out And he's like there you go. I brought your girl We all look at each other like we got to go home and study for next year everybody Here's fucking 13 year old kids

that wanna get laid. We'd do anything to get our dicks up when you're 13. When we saw the chick in the back, she looked like, I don't even know. Let's not even get into it because we'll all get arrested on this. Ha ha ha ha. He was my boss on Full Lindsay.

He's still around. No, he died. When? He just died. Because when I got here. They said he was on Kennedy Boulevard He takes the chain the change out of the newspaper thing. Oh no, then Yeah, so he had the guy kids that are working for us. They used to have to go and get all the quarters There you go one day. I use his car and I noticed It's like I'm looking this way. So I get out, I open up the trunk, he's got $9,000 worth of quarters.

And the trunk would sack. And the thing was like this, the car, I'm driving it. He was the unbelievable guy. I'm telling you, I know a lot of nuts in old dog. Dog, when he showed up with that woman and she had those fake tits like from George Washington's day like that type of shit, they were hard. Only one tit was sticking out.

God knows what happened to the other one. I do not wanna know. But during all this, and this is why Louie, I'm still tight with Louie, I'm still tight with Dave, I'm still tight with Chuckie, our friendship didn't come from just being in North Bergen. Our friendship came because all these kids had something going on in their house.

It's funny how it mixes too. All of us. All of us, I still remember going home, bro, bro, I still remember walking home in the center of the grade with Anthony Balzano. He couldn't go home. The feds had the house fucking surrounded. They were whipping out machine guns and shit.

That was our neighborhood. Michael Clemens won't talk to me no more because Carmine beat him up, handcuffed him, and beat him up on giving that terrorist. And he was yelling fucking- Oh, I wish he were the Fort Kingwell. Police brutality and beat him up on, giving that terrorist and he was yelling fucking- Oh, I wish he would have fought Kingwell. Police brutality and fucking, I mean, this neighborhood was, you know, it just was going on.

It was fucking going on. We were, every night we ripped that fucking payphone off the fire department phone, we rip it, and the cops would chase us. Who does this anymore? We used to run across tunnel-y. I go to work one day and he says, you can go home, you don't have to work today. I said, why am I going home?

He goes, because tonight we got to take two busloads to the Yankee game. I said, oh, that's nice. We get there at night, two, all parents and kids. Beautiful. They all got their uniforms on and pennants. So we get there and I, two, all parents and kids and you're like, beautiful. They all got their uniforms on and pennants. Everything's going, everything's going perfect, okay? We pull up Yankee Stadium, the guy with the clipboards there and he says, where you from? He goes, Weehawken wreck. So the guy looks

at his, he looks at the thing and he says, I don't have no Weehawken wreck on here. So I go, did you get the tickets from the, from this thing? He goes, no He don't say nothing. The cop arrests him. I gotta bail him out. They figured he, this guy's crazy. And another time I bailed him out in the track. He says to me, you got any money? He calls me up.

You got any money? I said, yeah, why? He goes, I'm picking you up. He picks me up. There's a guy sitting in the back seat, we're going to the track, the metal lands. So we drive into the metal lands, and all of a sudden we get out, he says, bet it all on the seven.

The guy leaves us, he says, bet it all on the seven. So I look at the horse, this is all fucking, they're gonna make glue out of this horse. I'd say he ain't going to win. He says, you know who the driver is? The guy that was in the back seat. I got to take a breather real quick and read an ad. We'll be right back.

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For all the details we're back bitches You know, so I had you in the seventh grade, and then I went to Ethel Walsh's class. But the eighth grade, we had Mr. Lindsay, and he took us to the fuck in Philadelphia. They took us to Philly to see the- You go to Washington? No, we didn't go to DC.

He took us to Washington, too. No, he took us, our year, they were a little scared with us. All right, so they took us to see the P-knuckle, what is that? The something the guy with the fucking sticks, whatever they took us to this beautiful thing in Philadelphia Which I'll be at Wednesday night and we started shooting paper clips At the guys on stage and they fucking threw us out of there. We went to Betsy Ross's house They were mad at us But then they stopped at Hyrum's

and Callahan's and got us all that shit. And we came back and we were all just playing basketball at that time. And I'll never forget that. I went to the courts like any other night. And at six o'clock, Marianne said, Coco, Anthony, come and eat. And I go, my mom's cooking.

I can't go over there tonight. When I went home, and that night I didn't go out. Like I just stayed in. And next morning we went to school and you took me in the hallway and said, you hear about Anthony? He got into an accident, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. So this is our eighth grade year.

It was like, this fucking winded me. It winded me, you know. I still remember the parents being on Saturday Night Live, Carmine and Marianne. During Saturday Night Live, they're cutting, because they were begging for a doctor to help their kid and shit. I mean, it was fucking real, guys. And that was the beginning of our eighth grade. And until this day, there's a sadness down there still, because we lost Dominic two years later and my mom a year later which is all the same we all ran together these kids you know but it was really weird what was your last year at McKinley

I was in the high school more than I was at McKinley. Yeah. So you figure I was there about 20 years. At the high school? No, at McKinley. Really? And then I went to the high school for the rest. Because I still- And that one year in Harvest Man that they said,

you three guys, Sperber used to buy lunch every day. And I should say, what are you getting this money? We used to go to a place every day, me and my gal ordered nice, nice lunch. There was a bar right now like by Lady of Fatima. It's a doctor's office now over there. Okay. But anyway, we went to that bar every day,

had lunch, steak, sandwiches, whatever. And give me that check. Sperber. So I said, how are you getting all this money? Where are you getting all this money? He goes, hey, I love you. And excuse me, I'm so happy that he is, because he was there a year ahead of us.

So sure enough, one day a girl comes in the room with collecting for Biafra. That was a country in Africa that you get money, they would raise money and send it to them. So I'm saying, and who sent you down here? She said, Sparva. Then it hit me. Cause the girl came in every day for like three months. And we were eating every day with the money that everybody was throwing in the bin.

Who knew? Oh, no. I said, you're stupid. We're going to get fired, I said. They find out. He goes, ah, it's on me. You're not gonna get fired. I says, well, because I'll screw on you. I'm not gonna get, I'm not worried about it, but you just gotta stop. You know, I was telling Nick Askelees that when we went to school, they just weren't teachers.

You know, I always said that, that we get to school at nine and we're there till six, till three. And sometimes if you play sports, you're there till five. You're there with them longer than you really are with your parents in those days, you know, unless your mother stayed home, which a lot of moms did. But you know, we goof around here, we tell a lot of stories. I still remember the night my mother died, that the ambulance came at like 330 and I just sat there.

And within fucking 30 minutes, I saw a cop car coming up the block and it was Carmine, because he didn't sleep at night He would sleep on the couch listen to the police scanner with the gun ready to shoot somebody So He came and me him and Pete went to breakfast in that diner on Tunley Avenue Collins diner and then I, what am I gonna do? And Pete goes, I'm going to school. I go, take me up to high school.

And like an hour later, I get a fucking thing. Jose come to the class, and there's Mr. Barone. He goes, your mother died. What are you doing in school? Let me drive you home. And I'll never forget that. This is the shit that we goof around and we tell these fucking stories and stuff.

Now, when did you become the JV coach? My first, my, let's see, my second. 78 or 80, no, it had to be before 79. No? No, because I ran the grammar school league for two years and I started teaching at 75. I started my first year at 75. So you figured,

I would say the low 80s. Okay. I started with JV. Now do you remember the ref with the glass eye? Yeah. What was his name? It's in the glass eye. Yeah. What was his name? It's in the tip of my tongue. I was just thinking about it in the bathroom.

He had a pigeon eye. He was a substitute teacher. He was a substitute teacher, but he was also the one ref that coached, you know, coached the ref to Franklin Lincoln. You know why they stopped him from coming to school? Because he was taking care of my class, you aren't in it. And he said to the kids, I'm going to the bathroom

and I'm gonna keep my eye on you. He took it out and put it on the desk. Ha ha ha ha! So. When the kids told me and I told them, I said, went to the bathroom, he took his eye out. I don't want him in. Doug, this is old school teaching, okay?

They got to you. And the teacher takes his eye out and puts it in the cloud, gives you the maluchia look. I'll be watching you. I'll be watching you. I gotta be honest, compared to breaking one of their arms, and like, this is pretty minor. Like the eye thing, I kinda think is funny.

The eye thing I like. But can we go back to him coming and getting you when your mom, like that was. Yeah, he came to get me and he drove me home and he told me to keep it together and he just talked. Did you go to the bare mountains with a group with me? No, no, no, no, I left.

We went to Great Invention. Two busloads, 130 kids. We let you go out. They said, let them go out. The lady teaches, leave the kids alone. I said, you better play games with them. No, let them go. There was bare mountains, I don't know where it is,

but there's a forest all around it, okay? So it's time to go. It's time to go home. I say to them, certain people have clipboards. How many, anybody missing? So I see them talking, and then I turn around and they go, 62 kids are missing. I said, how could you just not notice that with the group?

We only had one hundred and seventy. And 60 is missing and you just find it out now. I was in charge of that truck. I almost killed the one lady. All right. So you don't tell me 60 because I knew all the one lady. You don't tell me 60. Because I knew all the while, but I figured they'd come back. They're not going to come back. We got home 8.30 at night.

We were supposed to be home. The mothers were waiting 3.30 on school. We got home 8.30. But they finally all come back. Girls had their pants ripped. I said, we're gonna get in trouble for this one. Bear Mountains. Was that the last time you went to Bear Mountain?

I didn't wanna go. Bear Mountains. Mr. Brode, the ref's name. Cause this is killing me. You're gonna love this one. The ref, no. The ref had a glass eye. So we're walking home in the eighth grade

and I'm walking home with Anthony Balzano and he's pissed about something. And we're all walking home Anthony Dominic were yelling and He goes that fucking ref. He keeps calling files on me and Anthony goes that motherfucker. He's my cousin. We're like what? What do you mean? He's your fucking cousin. He was his my cousin. He goes I'm gonna go home and tell my father now So we walk in his house all fucking rushed up He's like dad and mr. Bosanna was eating like thought what the thing with the thing on and he goes dad that cousin He had it because he was a cousin. He was that cousin through marriage or something

The Capitola Capitola, there you go cap cap cap. So He goes dad cap keeps callings on me and Coco. You better talk to me. He goes, Cousin Cap? He goes, yeah. He fucking gets up, he wipes his thing, fucking dials the number.

Cap, let me talk to you about something. You wrapped the game with my son Anthony and Coco. You call a foul on them again, I'll fucking go down there and kill you. And he hung up the phone. We're playing Dundaro and Compasso. We're karate chopping them. They're like, foul, foul!

And then we would, because he had a glass eye. So if you're on the right, and your eye is fucking glass, how you call the foul? So we used to challenge him all the time. Challenge, no! You did not see that. You have a fucking left eye that's glass.

How did you see this thing here? And then that was it. I don't know what happened to that poor bastard. I'm a Haltner. Who? Eddie Haltner. Coach, ref? No, a student.

He was probably after you. Yeah. His father knew, said we were having a cookie drive. So his father comes into my room, I'm in charge of it. And he says, you're having a cookie drive. So his father comes into my room, I'm in charge of it. And he says, you're having a cookie drive? He says, I can get you Burry's cookies. I said, how much? How many could you get us?

A truckload. I said, get it. Get it. So sure enough, truckload one day is backing into our parking lot. You know, that's a McKinley. Can't come in straight. The guy I go, he was I tell the principal, we're getting a truckload of fucking cookies.

Everybody's happy. All the teachers, the ladies in the office. I go outside, the truck driver gets out of the thing opens the truck and gives me like three bags I said what are you doing that for he says well that's all you're getting it's a whole new gets the rest of these they has an address that fuck just used the school for them to give us the cookies, but he wanted to keep them all. They said, I must be your friend.

I said, I don't know this guy. He goes to school here. That's why I believed him. Three boxes we got. The whole truck was full. We built, they built the gym, you know that gym was built when we were in the eighth grade? Yeah.

We got to play the last- I complained so much. About that gym. Why? Why did I complain? Where was our gym when it was snowing? We shoveled snow and I got a D. No, but we were in the hallway. In the hallways, yeah.

Every day these kids balled with bowling. I said, you can't have gym every day and do the same thing. Yeah, and Mr. Fontana, we had Mr. Fontana when I was there. He's the race, and I'm trying to teach. It's the whole way to your classroom. So I went to Fishback, and I gave it to him. I says, listen, I wanna be transferred. He says, why?

I said, they take gym all day. Remember, you get eight periods a day. That's right. So I had to listen. I want to go to the kid wanted to go to the bathroom. He gets trampled by a race. They're having like races. So sure enough, he says, you know, you got some background.

You got to help us, maybe you can talk somebody into building us a gym. So I don't know anybody, but if you use my name, I'll do whatever they want. I had to give a few clinics. I had to give- That was crazy. Everybody had to do-

We had no fucking gym. So for you kids at home, you're fucking grateful. We had no We had a shovel snow. How do you have a school with no gym? I used to I don't even know where we practiced basketball in those days. I forget and then we had lunch Where the kids are running right back and forth. There's a Well, there's like a- A little table on the side, a little edge. A table along the wall. But there's kids eating, there's bowling and track games going on,

and we're trying to teach in the classrooms. And Richie Vanecek would take nails and hit him in the thing upside down. So when you put your hand on the wood, the nail, the dog, that's cool, I was there one time with Richie Vanecek and his father were talking to Kingwell. And Mr. Vanecek had his hands like this

and Richie was standing right here, he had his little fucking glasses on and he's looking at Kingwell, yeah, yeah, and all of a sudden he just goes, bam! And fucking broke his glasses, Richie dropped. I mean, this was McKinley school. It was, but you gotta remember, that was everywhere at that time.

Parents would knock you the fuck out, you know, anywhere. Parents would knock. And nobody would say, Jack, shit. Parents would just clock you. And they never complained to kids, you know what I mean? What about the cap? At the end of this thing that I just set up is a little room on the corner.

Remember the way he's ate? Where they made the food. Yes. Soon as you walk in the door. Yeah, like Eddie Munster's house. It was a little room. Yeah. And the walls were like this.

Like this, and you walked in there. Yeah. This was real. The two ladies making lunch every day. Fucking ham, one of those prison county lunches. The ham with the pasteurized cheese with an apple, an orange drink of milk. And Mrs. Sabatino gave you a cookie to bail you out

in case you didn't want the liverwurst sandwich. Who eats liverwurst in those fucking days? We used to go to the fucking York Hotel. That's where we went to lunch to fucking get the, and to look at the hookers. And we put quarters in the machine and go back with potato chips. But what nobody, this is all goes together.

We got the gym, right? And as they were building the gym, I went to school and then there's cops everywhere. There's cops on the three, because we used to cross, we used to play basketball behind Santa Florida. North Bergen had those little courts there. 26th Street, yeah, 26th Street courts.

They still play there. When you go over the bridge there. Yeah. You'll be, I went there one time, somebody said, Oh, Cororen's playing in the court. O'Coren at that time played for the North Carolina. North Carolina, yeah. Played for the Nets, I think.

Yeah. He's playing in that court. Yeah, they all played there. Yeah, and it was like, you know, 10 guys like him playing. That was about as long as this. Was it even? Yeah, it was the biggest. We all hope he'll get one of the best. Yeah. It was about as long as this. Was it even? Yeah, it was the biggest. Yeah.

It was about as long as this room. How did you get a D in snow shoveling? I didn't do the corners, you know what I'm saying? I just pushed it and shit like that. But we finally got the gym and as we were building the gym, they found the body across the street at the York. Iceman. Iceman, under the bed, he was alive, whatever the gym. They found the body across the street at the York. Iceman. Iceman.

Under the bed. He was alive, whatever the fuck. So we were having a problem getting a coach. I'm not going to go into this. We couldn't get a coach that they could sign on. We had Pete Wolf who could slam the ball, but that's it. And then some guy signed up, and he didn't like Spanish people.

So I started dating his sister because if you're gonna be a racist you might as well not have a sister because you never know so this goes on for a few months she's older than me she's a cheerleader at Sacred Heart Academy on 16th Street across from st. Michael so I would have CYO and I'd walk home with him. One day we were walking home and he caught us holding hands and the next day fucking all hell broke loose. So he called me a spick, what are you doing my sister, you're dead and all this shit so I went home and I called Anthony, Miles and Anthony's like fuck this motherfucker

we'll kill him tomorrow at lunch or whatever. I mean, yeah, this is when we were nuts. Dominic, Michael, a bunch of us were like, we're gonna hide in the gym and get him. The first day we hid in the gym, he never showed up. Second day we hid in the gym, he never showed up. The third day we said, let's go get him in this fucking house. We went there, the house was already put up for sale.

All right, that's how much they hated Spicks. So, that was the plan. We were gonna fucking drag them out the Route 3 and let them die out there because they blame it on whoever killed, we didn't know it was the Iceman, whoever killed that person on Route 3. That was our fucking plan at that age.

Like we were gonna hit them with hammers and shit, fucking. It's uh, I got I made a deal with whole big They had no coached After you they had no coach here So I made a deal with a whole big member whole big. Yeah the woman gym teacher Huh The what the girl Patty so I said will you will you do me a favor?

You like sports. I think you'd be perfect. You know the grammar school league that I run? He says, yeah. I said, McKinley don't have a coach. I said, could you coach? He says, I'll coach if you practice with them. So I says, I got my team.

How am I gonna practice with them. So I said, I got my team, how am I gonna practice with you all? But we filled, I had to practice start a little later, and I gave them an hour and a half every day, Monday to Friday. They won the league with this girl coaching them. They won the grammar school. That's the only year they ever won anything. I think with Jose Castro, they won two once.

Alex Alvar. They all played for us at the high school. That was a good group. And then we had, and then they had a fucking coach at Kennedy named Rugar. Larry Rugar. Larry Rugar. Larry Rugar. And in the seventh grade, bro, his team was the state team.

He made them wear suits to the game. Jay and Kennedy School. He had picket before. I was in the league. He had Calandrillo, he had Pickinich down there, he had Cruz down there, and I'll never forget, they played Harace Man B and they beat him by like 80 to 2 and

Rugal was mad so he made him go back to the gym and run with their hands up for a fucking whole practice Rugal used to wear a suit Rugal was fucking a savage Then he coached us somewhere, but I want to know one thing mr. Perrone. How the fuck were you on the bus with us in? 1980 if you weren't coaching at the high school? Because I coached at the high school all the years I was at McKinley. What were you coaching? JV, for say.

That's what it was, okay. My first five years, JV. Then when Sabelo died. Right, you were waiting when Sabelo died, Shave got the job, I was his assistant. So I think that was the longest stretch. I coached, then when Shave packed it in, I think I was 10 years head coach. You know, the school's 70 years old and we only had four

coaches you go to any other school any other sport they got 15 coaches it's something that yeah. When I played when I coached, my JV coach, Ralph! In the wheelchair! God bless his son. Wait, the JV coach was sitting in a wheelchair? Yes, power wise. Yeah. He was a good dude, Ralph Marino, God rest his soul.

He played baseball for me. I also coached the Bill Betterter Boys, you remember that? Bill Better Boys. After high school? Holy shit. Okay, I coached North Bergen for a couple of years. Ralph was on the team. He was a catcher, okay?

So sure enough, base hit, made on second. The kid was the mayor of Union City's nephew. I never forget. He roused dirt and I said there's gonna be a collision. Moreno, instead of just sweeping and tagging him, he put his head down and he got in the guy's way like this. And the guy ran him right over. He hits the ground I run out to him I said he goes Mr. Barona I'm paralyzed. I said no you're not you got a concussion he was he was paralyzed he knew it. What year was that? So now I go to see him in the hospital. When he's in the hospital recuperating a year later

and he says, you want to do me a real good favor? I said, yeah, why? He says, he was on a table about that high, a bed or a table about, and they had a mattress on it. They were doing something to him to get exercise for his blood. So sure enough, he says, if you push this to that window and then push me, you could push me out the window.

He said, is this what you want? He says, I can't take it. Lost his fiance. He was all set to get married when he was playing baseball. That's after high school, that league. That's right. Hold on one second. I have to go to the bathroom.

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He wants to kill himself. And he wanted to use me. Nobody was able to do anything. And he figured being I was with him all these years, I would do it. Slide me out that window over there. You push the thing, and he showed me how to do it. So how am I gonna do that? I can't carry, lift you, you don't have to.

Look at the bottom of that window. It's too, it fits perfect on the table here. So he says you open the window, you put it up against the window, you put it up against the window and you push me out, pull me out, throw me out. So I said, Ralph, now, because of that day, I walked out. I said, I can't do it. Get somebody else. I'd leave. I always had that guilt feeling because I used to see him

watching a game. He didn't want to do anything. He was a great baseball player and I think he could have been a professional golfer. That's how good he was. I went golfing with him once. He was unbelievable. You got better golfer than you are athlete. So sure enough, I said to him, I got the thing for you. What? I said, you could be my assistant, basketball. That saved him. I was just going to tell you that.

He loved, you ask Frankie, nobody loves basketball like Ralph did. Nobody. He'll watch 10 games in a row. He'll drive to California to see a game. He was the best. When I was a freshman. But he's got too many. I said somebody asked me on a show, hey how is Ralph Marino as an assistant coach? I said if I had, let's put it this way, if I didn't have Ralph Marino as a coach,

I would have won 20 more games. Cause he cost me with technicals because he was in a wheelchair. He used to go, what the fuck are you looking at? To the ref. Or he would say, scumbag. I can curse these guys. I used to say, why are you doing?

He says, I figure I'm in a chair. He could have gave me that. That call sucked. You suck. You know, he used to, I think because he was in the wheelchair, he could say anything he wants to him. Before the game, the ref would come up to me and say, you know, are you going to control

this guy tonight? The game didn't even start. I said, come on, give him a break. You know how I got him not to get the technicals? Randy thought of it, but I did it. Oh, Randy did it first. Soon as he got a technical, we got somebody to wheel him into the fucking corner of the gym.

So he's looking in the corner of the gym. Somebody come and get me. He would, coach, I'm sorry. I hear that in my sleep sometimes. Coach Barone, come on. I won't say a word. You could tape me. Ralph was great. I remember being a freshman.

And Calangelo played varsity maybe? Colangelo. Dennis. He played his best year was the JV year. With you. Yeah. He never got that he never did it for the varsity. He was my best player but then when he was a junior he went to vars Boston. Right. And they caught him. Well, Isabella probably thought he was a troublemaker or something, but- Yeah, Isabella didn't like downtown. No, he didn't like downtown.

He wanted the guys from Horace Mann. Yeah, he didn't like me at all. That's why he didn't win. Yeah, probably. Those guys do their homework. I would say Dennis, you can't do that. He won't fucking leave me the fucking door. He's gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say,

I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say,

I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say,

I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say, I'm gonna go in and say,ino, say it one more time, I'll put you in the closet and shut the fucking door. I would say Dennis, you can't do that. He won't fucking leave me the fuck alone. My brother loves him. Who, Dennis? Dennis.

Yeah, we all love Dennis. Dennis is still the funniest man. My brother just asked me recently, is Dennis Calangelo still around? He's alive, but he lost his wife. And he's having a hard time time and he's a fucking sweetheart I hooked up on him a couple times when I got here. Sure. I remember Next time you see him job around my brother. Okay. Yeah

But we won My freshman year I played for reading and he didn't play me So for some reason we were in East Orange and we're at this Christmas thing And it is a fucking riot from the time we get there because at that time we used to call One Rodriguez's little brother It was one and Carlos. So at freshman practice we call Carlos Eddie Munster And he would pull you aside like a man and go dog. I'm not in on Eddie Munster and he would pull you aside like a man and go dog I'm not in on Eddie Munster shit

So don't even try it and every time practice got hairy Somebody would say Eddie Munster he would stop the game and go dog. I tell you about that. He Munster shit so now we're in East Orange for the Christmas tournament and We're losing it. It's like three minutes from the halftime I'll never forget this and he was taking the ball out. He was going to chuck it into Chucky or somebody. He gets the ball and the two little black kids go, look at my man.

He looked like Dracula, right? And that's all they said. I was sitting on the bench and I could hear the crack, like his whole demeanor, like. And you can see on his face, like I do look like Eddie Munster. It just hit him. We were dying on the bench.

We ended up getting killed. But at the time, my mom was always up at the bar. So my mom would leave me a $20 bill or a steak. I had an option. So I would say, fuck the steak, because it was too Cubany, it was garlicky. The asshole that I am now. And I would get steak-ems and get a variety of fries, throw them in the oven and then

throw two steak-ems on white bread with the American cheese. And I kept eating them. Eating them. That's what I ate every night. Two, three weeks. Dog, there was a week I couldn't shit. I went for like six days without shitting. I didn't know what it was.

Now we're in this Christmas tournament and we're out in fucking East Orange and they're shaking the bus, the whole fucking thing. We get out there and finally we take off and I'm like, man, my stomach hurts. And I'm in the middle of the bus and all of a sudden I go, I'm looking around to see who's around me or I could blame it on.

I didn't know what type of fart it was gonna be so I let the first fart out. And I'm like, oh my God, and all of a sudden people start going, what the fuck is that? Jesus Christ, what is that? Open the windows, and you couldn't open the windows. There were the high ones, you gotta slow it down. They were all fucked up.

And again, another fart came out of me. Right, and now everybody's fucking going, Jesus, what is that? The Chileans started crying and shit. They were crying. That's how bad that fart was. I gave it about a 30 minute window. Everybody was like, ooh, thank God.

Who was that? It was Sabatini. We were just blaming it on people. We were just blaming it on everybody except me. I was like, it came from over there. It wasn't me. Finally, I throw, tremendous fart. This one's worse than the other two.

Mr. Barone's holding his face and going, he's changing flavors. Ah! Ah! Ah! That was fucking, they held their faces till they got in front of the fucking high school. But you got turned off because now,

what year was Reardon thing? When you were a sophomore? I was a freshman, so I played everything I did. I fucking played. But I was the JV coach then? Yes, I don't remember. But you know I were the picture. No, but it was eighth grade, I was buck wild,

I could jump and shit, Reardon just didn't dig me. So I used to torture him from time to time, I had people threaten him and shit, he held his ground. We never really spoke. And then I went and ran spring track with Compostor and he broke me. Reardon did like, I was like, I don't wanna play basketball no more.

Just one day I just got up and I go, I'm not doing this no more. And then I would play by the high school after school for money with those animals, Fuvio, Plagiaro and all those guys. We'd play for like a sandwich at Hashways. I thought it was too much. Where did you play?

In the back gym? Practice? Where did you just practice? We practiced at Horace Man. We had to leave the high school. I didn't see you when this was going on. No, and then we used to- You came out, let's say you were practicing in the back gym,

you came out, this guy, said, don't worry, next year you got it made. Yeah, cause we only played in the back against some team, cause they canceled it. And that's when you came and all the other teachers were there and a bunch of people they were like why isn't he fucking playing like it was obvious I could play and people are like but that's the way it went you know I still to this day fucking kind of regret it

you know you mentioned that kid before I mean listen man when you go to a school or something I wish this is why I get pissed at people now, especially teachers because you're supposed to open kids' eyes, you know? Like I wanna still beat up Mr. Longano because he never told me about New York City. I could have gone over there and got an acting class. You know what I'm saying, like shit like that.

But, what were we talking about? How about you Quinn? I, and I just, I just didn't want to play no more. And then I got a lung infection. I was going to play for Vinny. Vinny goes, come play football with the sophomore's. And I went and the first day I got there, I spit and it was just blood. And one of the coaches came over and he goes, what the fuck is this?

And I go, I don't know. I got hit in the mouth. But then he kept seeing puddles of blood everywhere. I had a lung infection from smoking paraquat. And I had to be in the hospital for 13 days. When I got out, I couldn't play football. It was too late to play basketball. And then my mother died.

And I wasn't doing shit after that. You know, I wasn't going't doing shit after that. You know, I wasn't gonna do shit after that. I stayed in school maybe for the end of junior year. Then I said, I got a job at Masback Century Hardware on 89th and if you go down 83rd Street Hill, North Bergen, 85th, and what's the street all the way down where all the West Side Avenue, that Bergen, 85th. And what's the street all the way down where all the? West Side Avenue. West Side Avenue, that last warehouse.

That was mass back century. And then I didn't see you. But the problem was I was just embarrassed. I was just embarrassed to see you guys. I was not the type that was going to go up to the high school and hang out. And then I really got into a pinch, and I was really embarrassed around you guys because you guys

had seen me when I was a young kid and how I acted and now I was a different fucking animal. But when I did the documentary, I went to your house, I go, this guy's great. You made my childhood, you and that other fucking knucklehead. Because nobody, I still remember, I don't know, he sent us home. Make sure you watch the NCAAs on fucking Saturday or something. The semifinals were on a Saturday, and you sent us home.

You got your homework for the weekend, and the finals were Monday. And that was the year Marquette played North Carolina in the finals. It was that dude's last game. And I'll never forget that that Saturday, I just come back from the court, I'm a Spanish kid, and I put the fucking TV on,

and North Carolina's playing UNLV, and all of a sudden somebody got hurt, and the fucking TV said, "'Coming in now is the freshman from Jersey City, New Jersey.'" My fucking head almost blew the fuck up. I'm gonna get him on here. He lives down the shore. I'm getting O'Coren on here.

My head blew up. Well, I saw Jersey City as a freshman. And then to top it off, the motherfucker scored 31 points. As a fucking freshman! And then they played Monday night in the championship and they lost to... Who are we talking about now? Michael Corrin.

Michael Corrin? Oh, Corrin. You're the guy that said go home and watch this college game this weekend. He was on that court though. I was the only guy I remember that was playing in that game. Where, North Carolina? No, at North Bergen.

No, they used to come down with Spinarkel, Sergio Badagi. He used to bring somebody else down, not Jackie Galoon, but there was another kid that played from Wee Hawkins. Was probably in a motel that drew them. Well, the motel, but those guys played, remember when you go over to the Lincoln Tunnel, when you're going into the Lincoln Tunnel, before you make that turn, look on,

there used to be a court on top. Yeah, I played there. And that was a special league. Still there. It's still there, cause I see a football field, but that's where they played during the week. The thing I can't stand when you play there, all the cars coming in the tunnel.

Yeah. That pollution. Yeah, you're gonna die. That's why. That's why they stopped playing. That's why we're tougher than fucking death, you know what I'm saying? Because we faced death.

I still remember. You know that shit used to play, and we played for four or five hours straight. Hoboken was the best. Played once. Bro, think about that scene a year when Hoboken had those two black dudes, Juicy and Bob Du Bois,

and they led the county in slams. They led the county in slam dunks. It was fine. North Bergen beat them that senior year. North Bergen beat them that senior year. And then by two points that game. Yeah, in Hoboken. And you know.

In fucking Armando Arribas. But you know, do you remember how we won the game at the end? The guy was taking it out for Hoboken. Misinich. He was taking it out on the guy that was on Hoboken. They're down one. They score, they win.

The coach says, ah, he calls him. He went like this and he just threw it. It went to the North Bergen guy and he makes a layup. They're up three, game's over. There's no three point shots with like 20 seconds left. That's how they blew it. And I was so happy because I hated the Hoboken coach. I wanted a coach there.

You always want a coach where you played first. Once they gave, the guy was, Connors his name was, he was on the board of ed, a member of the board of ed, his son got the job. Never played basketball. I was sick. And I came in, then Vinnie was my homeroom teacher. He said, don't worry about it.

I take you to North Bergen. Artie's moving there next week. I'll straighten everything out for you. And he did. I owe everything to that man. I was working in my father's grocery store. I wasn't even going to go back to college. He walked in, said to my father, how's he doing?

I'm behind the fucking D. And my father said, Johnny, the coach is here. He gets me outside. What are you fucking doing here? I says, well, I'm going to go back, but not now. He says, you fucking make sure it was like August that you're in school next month, or I never would have probably went back. My father was a bookie.

I would have been a bookie. I'd rather do that. Wait, he owned a grocery store and was a bookie? Everybody was a bookie back then. Everybody was a bookie? Everybody was a bookie back then, Lee. Everybody was a bookie. That's only a front. Yeah, that's only a front. They saw apples.

You know what I'm saying? Any questions you have? A lady would come in like, you know, he would come in, yeah, how many kumquats? Get lost. We just got oranges and apples. Take a fucking walk.

Then he used to complain when I don't get enough business. Did he ever do anything that made you wanna like not, like not that you wouldn't like him, but did he ever go too far? Couldn't. He couldn't do it. Couldn't do it. That's crazy. He gave me everything. How could you?

When you grow up and your father is good to you, I don't think he ever hit me. No, I'm talking about Joey. I'm talking about my father. Oh! Well, I'm glad your dad didn't hit you. His name is Joe. Did this Joey ever do anything in class?

You're like, fuck. Might be too much. He made me laugh so much, I couldn't get mad at him. We laughed, man. And why do you think you can't, like teachers can't act like this anymore? Like have this kind of relationship with their students? I wasn't surprised when he hit it, when he did it. I didn't know what he was doing.

And then I saw him in the prison movie, the football movie. And I said, this guy made it. Do you remember the last time you saw him before then? I used to see him at games. Sometimes you used to come to a game. I remember like calling you like. I left in 85. So I still remember going to a game

with Greg Askles and Shave. We were playing Memorial, North Bergen Beat Memorial. And I had his uncle Greg was a little boy on my shoulder. And I kept giving him money to say, bingo and say culo and all these bad words in Spanish. And all the Cubans in the Memorial were walking out. And then everybody started coming over and give Greg money to say, bingo, culo.

And fucking Shave was was like you motherfucker. He was like this as a kid. Right, and it's a lot to handle now. I can't imagine at eight in the morning. As a kid. Holy shit. You know, man, these teachers gave you a reason to live. Seventh grade, how old was he?

Twelve, eleven, they gave you a reason to do your homework. They gave you a reason that you wanted to do fucking good. I always had one of those teachers every year that you had to go into school just to see them so you could feel better about yourself. I look at my daughter's teachers. There's no fucking personality. They're young, they're white, but I mean white.

Like they're white, like you know, white. Like they're on the level. Like that pen doesn't have enough ink. You know, shit like that. You know, like it's, and I can see why kids are the way they are now. When I told my daughter I was coming up here to see me. I wish I was a superintendent of schools and I could straighten out what I know. I mean, I taught for 49 years.

I know what they're doing. I know half of it sucks, but what could I do as a teacher, okay? When do you think the shift started? Like around what year did people start? Like, did you have to start being a little bit more PC or you know you couldn't do the stuff you were doing when you were teaching Joey? Like when did that start changing? In the high school? Or just what year like the 90s? No it was yeah yeah because it's 30 more years. Yes that's about right. And what do you think made it change? Was it like cameras going around or?

the attitude It just something I don't know this I'll tell you what it is It's that kids don't sit at the table with their family at night and have dinner Think about it how many people Think about it. How many people, you know how I watch Blue Bloods, every Sunday they sit around. I used to ask kids, you ever leave with your whole family?

No, because the mother works this time, the father works this time. You can never get, the sister has a job, you can never get them together That changed everything that family thing change. That's why the kids Well, they'll get a little crazy now There's nothing that's why they don't fear their parents. They never with them. They're out playing They come back Me if? If I did something wrong, my father was right there, waiting for me.

Today I couldn't, sometimes I couldn't get a parent to come. Or you get a parent and they come and they did, her daughter did something bad in school. I forget what it was, but I saw it and she did it. And she sat in front of her mother, I had the superintendent there and the principal, cause she wanted to sue us. So I said, that's what happened, because she's, how do you know?

Cause I saw it, but then she said, how do you know? Because I saw it. But then she said, but you're lying. So I said, why are you saying I'm lying? He says, I was watching your body, how you acted. Like, you know, like body language. She said, your body language was wrong when you were talking you got people like that or people that don't care you got people who make things up what about when they don't realize King will made me bring my mom in but I hired

the guy from my mother's bar to come in as my brother. I paid him like the small 20 to come in and be my cousin from Cuba. And King was like, next time I have to talk to your mom. And I played it off. Then the next time he goes, this time have your mom come in. And I want to talk to her. I'm standing out there with her and all of a sudden he goes, I told you other son. My mother's like, what? I don't have another son.

Kids today are street smart. They might be even better than we were. No, no fucking way. They're street smart on a fucking computer or how to send you a text. Let's put it this way. They know how to send a bomb to the school through VPN and shit like that,

but they don't have what we had. There's no way I see it every day. I've seen the kids that my daughter plays with. I see it in these kids. That we're going to have a hard time. Look at the 20-year-olds. A lot of 20-year-olds don't know what the fuck is going on right now. They just walk around. They don't know. And they go to college for four years and somebody pays them a bunch of money And that's even worse That's even worse. They don't know they don't know anymore Listen, there's not one of these motherfuckers that kind of Friday night would pay $200 for 400 for 100 quail ouds and song for $4 and make the quick 200. That would never happen again.

That might be a good thing. They won't hustle with football sheets. There's no more delivering papers. See, that was the backbone of America. That was the backbone of America. That, you know, now go get a job. If you're 14, you got to sign paperwork and the school. Listen, when we were kids kids you walked into Tom McCann

You need somebody in the afternoon yet come back tomorrow 2 30 when they went you follow me all these things went away We lost a paper route We lost a paper route. Nobody knocks on your door for the American Heart Association And says I'm gonna walk around Hudson County Park Give me a nickel for every fucking loop. You think I walk that thing every year? I kept half the money and gave the other half to the art association.

You know, they don't have that. How many people robbed St. Michael CYO for all the boosters and I would sell them to a dollar and take them back? Come on, and I'm not saying you gotta be a bad kid. I'm not saying that, but they don't have that mentality. You can't learn that. You don't have that mentality. You look you can't learn that You can't learn that in a classroom Me too, and I have an 11 year old daughter and I see this I don't see it as much as her

She does a homework. She does all that shit But I see a lot of boys Boys are not boys anymore. I'm in California, I signed my daughter for a ballet class. The class had six fucking kids, four of them were boys. And the moms brought them in there with the silver shoes and the whole fucking guys, but that's out there. But here, you know, again, when was the last time you went out and you got stuck in the snow

and three kids were out there trying to hustle you for $10. That doesn't exist. We can't even get white kids to mow the fucking lawn. If I was Trump, that's the first fucking rule I'm making. I want to see white kids mowing lawns again. White kids don't mow fucking lawns. This is not good guys. We do not, they don't have the mentality we were having at those young developmental

years. You see your child, when I was a kid, my mom goes, you're not doing nothing today? You gotta go to the bar and stock the ice and stock the beer. Twenty bucks. Instead of just hitting me up for a ten, I'll give you twenty. They don't do that no more. It's unheard. They have no social skills.

Have you gone to a restaurant lately? Have you gone to a CVS? Have you gone somewhere and seen the process that they put you through? They just don't have it no more, Mr. Barone. And then, you know, you can't fire nobody no more. No. God forbid.

I'm Cuban. No. Let's call the Cuban American Association in Soong. You know, I'm Portuguese. Whatever the fuck you are, I'm not pointing at anybody. But these are all the things you have with these kids. It's not good. It's not good.

Instagram hasn't helped us. Social media hasn't helped us. Dog, I had a threat in my daughter to go out. And she goes out now. I said, at least 15 minutes, go dribble the fucking ball. Go dribble the fucking ball 15 minutes. And what kills me is that the kids I'm dealing with, their parents, all grew up like we did.

Why don't you encourage these fucking kids to go out? They got them in the house all day. Mr. Softy stopped coming in my neighborhood. No kids come out, only me, my fat ass, my wife and my daughter out there, Mr. Softy. It's not good, Coach. It's over. Kids don't have that American ingenuity we had. Kids are different too. I have three grandsons. You think one of them would have what I had. The girl, my granddaughter has it. You know, she's on North Bergen, she played, she played freshman, she played ball city as a freshman.

Now this is, she's a softball and she starts. Basketball? She's got, she's got the thing I wanted the guys to have. They're all there playing with their computers. I teased them all the time. Say, how could you have your sister a better athlete than you? I teased them.

I go to the gym. It doesn't work. And I see kids boxing like what happened? That's the first thing your mother taught you. Your father taught you how to put your hands up and these kids are like they got no legs. Who's the kid from our area? His daughter wrestled. Who? Pace, Donald Pace's daughter. You know him? He went down by you.

She's, she could, she got a scholarship. That's you, this girl, I went to see her wrestle. I don't watch any wrestling. Not even pro wrestling? But she was from Norfolk, this was for like the state championship or whatever. And she fucking kicked the shit out of this other girl. And Donald, I mean, I had Donald at school, at McKinley.

It was like a klutz. Hope he's not watching. I'll watch him. Would you, if you were 22 again, would you be a teacher teacher knowing what you know? Like right now like right now you work Why why why even with everything going on? I think for me, I don't want to do anything else I Get even just being an in-school. I used to be proud when I left and I saved two kids by talking

I used to be proud when I left and I saved two kids by talking to them or yelling at them and embarrassing them. So maybe they catch it that way. You can't treat every kid the same, you know. But it's a great feeling to know. And how do you find out? I bumped into these kids every day they are in every store shop right there and They make you feel good kids. They all wolf tags here Mr. Braun I want thank you for taking the time Thank you for being a great fucking teacher and a parent and everything that you've done for a ton of kids especially me you changed my fucking life with humor and that's it. You guys got the meat, he's changing flavors finally.

I got it. I got it. Tomorrow night, tonight I'm at a freehold sold out. Tomorrow night, me, Lee, Rich Voss are at Parks Casino. Next Tuesday, we're at the open mic again. And Wednesday, we're in Jersey City at White Eagle Hall. It sold out. So I don't know what the fuck to tell you.

I'll add some more dates later. Lee, you got anything for these cocksuckers? This week, I'm with you in Parks. All right. I love you guys. Happy Thanksgiving to your families. And thank you for supporting The Church New Testament. Stay black, talk suckers.

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