Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Juiced to the gills with Aaron Berg

Episode Date: September 8, 2026

Comedian Aaron Berg joins Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt for a wild ride into the world of professional body building, the supplements and steroids it takes to make a go of it and how many people are using them, the wolverine stack, and the peptide that turns your cuban egg roll into a monster. Aaron's new special produced by Gas Digital premiers September  8 at https://www.gas30.com/ Show notes Download the DraftKings Sports app now. New customers sign up with code JOEY & spend $5 to get $200 in rewards within 21 days at @ ⁠https://www.draftkings.com/mobileapps⁠ If you're 21 or older, get 30% OFF your first order (plus free gifts and FREE shipping on qualifying orders) @ IndaCloud with code CHURCH at ⁠https://inda.shop/CHURCH⁠ #indacloudpod

Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. What's happening, beautiful people. Uncle Joey here with Johnny Hitler for another fun time with the church of what's happening now. New Testament. It's a great week. Labor Day is dead.

The winter is here. It's time to roll up your sleeves, Jack. Because it's a sad December if you ain't got your shit together. So that party starts this week and the beginning of NFL football. Life will be different. for some of years, the other half

of years you're still a loser. Ain't nothing going to change. You know what I'm saying? You still want to ride in there with the jets or whatever fucking team. Give me a break. And we also have a special guest. He just tore up some fucking weightlifting championship

and he's releasing the special my dear fucking friend, Mr. Aaron Berg. What's up, dog breath? Fuck yeah, dude. Winter. It's fucking freezing out. First snowfalls right around the corner, Joey. You feel it?

You ready? I'm ready for all. all that shit. How you doing, brother? I'm amazing. On top of the world, I'm running a low cycle of TRT and prima bowling right now. And I got four I use of growth hormone per day, the good growth hormone, the AIDS stuff. You know, you got to know someone with AIDS to get it. So I'm trying to work my way into that AIDS community. And it's not easy. You can't just ask people. You can't just go on Grindr. I've been going to these bath houses.

I've been going to these places in Chelsea and Hell's Kitchen, this pool hall name Stal and I'm just trying to befriend all these guys. You get friends with these guys. These gay guys get growth hormone because they got like a death sentence of AIDS. So you get the growth hormone off these guys. It's like 200 bucks. I flip that on the street six, 650 in Jersey. It's insane.

I don't even have to leave the house no more. Just get friends with AIDS. What does growth hormone make you feel like? Better than you. Dude, growth hormone is the fountain of youth. Reptides are introductory level shit, Joey. Right. We know about peptides.

BPC, TB 500, Wolverine stack. That's great. There's not something called Wolverine stack. Yeah. Yeah. That's funny. It's to make you bulletproof.

It helps your recover. If you have an injury, it helps build tissue back. They should change the name of that. No, it's two things mixed together. Three things maybe. Yeah. Now it's probably three things.

You shoot it a couple times a week before you go to bed. Yeah. Wake up in the morning, your dick's hard. It's all that mind. It's not like a pre-workout kind of thing. No. Helps you recover. It's beautiful.

That's great. But growth hormone, dude, think about how good it is for building muscle if it's saving these gay men's lives. You know what I mean? And it doesn't really save their lives. It's still a death sentence. But it's like growth hormone, amazing. You swallow one of those loads of tree grows in your backyards. That's the real fucking deal.

It's growth hormone sperm will drive your fucking nuts. Yeah! You need like a coffee filter to take the AIDS out and just keep the growth hormone in it. You know what I mean? Like drip coffee. I feel good. So are you still doing traditional cycles or you're just off the fucking shots? I'm on what's called a cruise right now.

Okay. So after a big cycle, you go on a cruise because you can't get off. Once you're 53, you can't get off. You get off, you're going to lose everything. Psychologically, you're going to be miserable. I was running. masterone anavar, windstrol, test, growth hormone, and then Reda Trutide, which is great.

And here's what happened. I go to the doctor, I get my blood work. Joey, I keep putting the blood work off for weeks because I know what they're going to say. They're going to say some shit. Like, if you go in while you're pre-contest, they're going to go, you can't do this contest. You need to get the fuck out. You need to stop doing what you're doing.

So you can't go to a doctor. You just have to ignore it and psychologically be strong. And, you know, modern medicine's a sham anyways. So I go, I get the blood work back. I go, I'm not opening this. Because if I open it, I'm just going to be miserable for two weeks until I go to the doctor. I go to the doctor. I go full disclosure.

Here's what I was running for 20 weeks. And it was up and down. It was all pretty low dose compared to what big guys do because I'm a small guy. And then she goes, she goes, all right, your blood work's never been better. I go, how's that possible? She goes, you were eating right, you were exercising, you were doing a ton of cardio, you're drinking three gallons of water a day,

and the red of trutide you were taking probably has something to do with why your blood work looks phenomenal. There was nothing wrong. My iron was a little bit low. She's like, we're eating red meat? I go, no, once every two weeks, she goes, eat more red meat.

Peptides are now the cure for anabolic steroids. I'm not a doctor, but I could be one. You said a couple things that were interesting. Yeah. You named 18 things on that cycle. Yeah. Now, the first three, I know that they're built muscle.

Yeah. Okay, now you take the anavar with all that to cut you up at the same time. Now, anavar is the safest thing you could do. They give that the kids, women. Yeah, I mean, I think mastrone safer because you inject it. Anavar's still got to go through your liver, so it's a little toxic. Masterone is a steroid. Yeah.

What does it do? That cuts you up, dries you out. Okay, now what would you take? When I was growing up 40 years ago, the big thing on North Bergen streets was Diana Ball? Oh, yeah. That was big. That box you up.

And then Anavar and Winstrel cut you down. Cut you down. You could, when I went to high school, North Carolina, you could buy that shit to high school. Really? The football players and stuff? Wait, can I out? And if you want to cut this out, that's fine.

the only thing I know about steroids is like from TV where like they sell it to you in the gym and it's illegal. You watch that Ben Affleck movie of the week. I don't know what. Did you see that Ben Affleck movie the week? Did you see it? Dude, it's so funny. Ben Affleck gets all juiced up and starts beating the shit out of his mom and stealing from her purse and everything. And he's like taking pills like, oh, ha, ha, like that.

Like throwing pills in this about, like I'm a lot older than anybody in this fucking room, maybe except George. and George will cop this. We've seen trends that were like this. Right at. It went from a smoking joints to buying two dollars a hit a mess with. For eight bucks, you had a fucking journey around the world

and you were up until four in the morning. Yeah. The next thing you know, we got bombarded with a surge of cocaine. Like the acid got knocked out of the game. Everything got knocked out of the game. $48 more to get the party started. I mean, we saw the impact of it. I was growing up in North Bergen.

There's a couple guys that were big, but they lifted with the sky in town, Ira Wolf. Jewish guy. Jewish guy. Ira Wolf was one of the trainers on the 88 or 82 Olympics. Really? He's one of these guys that bokes up in the winter and in the summers.

He runs marathons. Yeah. He's still fucking alive. Yeah. Okay, still doing it. And I don't know what he was doing. But in 1980, steroids were fucking on fire in Northburg.

And it was kids that you had grown up with that you said, hmm, they are starting to put on some bulk, but they were doing animalistic work. This was when you did a five-time six set. Yeah. Like, I used to run with those guys. I started them as showing up one day and doing like 100 pounds behind.

your neck, which today, that does not exist. Right. Those type of presses don't exist. Why? The reason I can't even shoot a hoop now. Yep. They destroy your shoulders. But when I ended with those guys, I was doing 180 behind my neck, five sets of six.

All that does is bulk you up like a fucking monster. Heavyweight, straight bar, no dumbbells. Everything was done with a straight bar, including pullovers. We used the bar stuck in the wall and used it as a T-bar right. I still remember all that shit. That was no lap machine. No. It was bent over rows with a barbell.

And that was it. Yeah. Pull over. That was your back workout. I saw all these guys get huge. But then it was like a big surge of them. And then it seemed like everybody in Northbury was on. Like every kid, you see him two months after the summer, they come back fucking like, what happened?

And it was, we saw the trends. Like how quick. Now you think about what the CIA does And whatever agencies that are in charge Like cocaine Destroyed the country Yeah You know?

Like it just destroyed Hudson County And yeah, but right here close to the city The Cubans, the Colombians It Look, people who weren't even thinking of doing coke In high school They were fucking nerds I came back in 84

They were selling drugs with their parents That got in business With their father slinging at bars, the grandpa would deliver a Coke to a bar. It was insanity. Everybody got into the Coke business. And it's weird

how you see trends. And now it's peptides. Even though they're illegal. They're everywhere. You can buy them in a health food store. You can go in a fucking pharmacy. I don't know peptides were illegal. Gray market.

Gray market. What does that mean? The cops ain't going to come in and shake your dinner. Yeah. But Eli Lilly wants to. Sure. Eli Lilly bought the patent for Red of True Tides. He knows if he gets that, he's going to get all that shit.

He's going to water it down and we'll bike right back to where we started from. But people don't know peptides are a chain of amino acid. And they make them for everything. They got even ones that you want to sun tan. Yeah. You inject it in your body. It makes you darker. You don't have to tan.

You don't have to tan. Yeah. That can't be good for you. No. We don't know. There's one that makes you dick hard. PT-141. You inject it.

I haven't taken it. I did. And? Yeah. Scary. Scary. Scary. Too good of an erection.

You're talking 14-year-old boy erection. Not the first stabbing. It's once it go. Because remember, read the fucking fine print. Mine's all in Chinese. It's 24 to 48 hours. Yeah. I mean, you could, uh,

CHP, JAP, whatever the fuck that is, what is that? Chat Pat, Jap. Oh, chat, G-B-T-T-T? J-H-G-B-T-T, whatever the fuck that is, I don't know. You know, on the computer when you Yahoo shit, you could do that, and then you could chat, whatever the fuck it is. Yeah. And it tells you, read the fine print. You can't do it more than like six times a month.

It says eight. Yeah. But you know us. Yeah. Getting a big dick and having an erection for fucking five or six hours, that could become a problem for some people. And if you mix it, the secret is to shoot PT-141,

like let's say you want to give somebody a stab at midnight. Yeah. You want to be in. So at 7.30, you got to shoot that to get you covered. Yeah. And then 45 minutes before that, you pop the three-headed monster, the three of those,

it's unbelievable. The most unbelievable thing is after you have sex that night, you wake up in the morning, and as you pick your leg up to go, P, your dick is fucking harder than shit. And it stays at like 70% all day. That's the scary thing. It's thick all day that if the wind blows on it,

now you've got a problem when you're dry. But now what happens if you take that shot at 7.30 and at midnight they're on the period? You don't end up having sex. You go in the bathroom and you bang one out. Like how many times? 18 times? No.

But then the next morning, hopefully, you put a towel down and whatever the fuck it is that your filthy little Jews do. You got to bury her pussy in the yard. Like it's a plate that had milk on it. And there's... Go for the Jews. Yeah. There's experiments that I do,

but I will not reveal in public. I could tell you guys behind the scenes that, you know, shit that I do just to try it out, just to see where it takes you. Because I, like, I never took Viagra. And then people started giving it to me. And when I moved here, I took a Viagra. I thought you pop a Viagra and your dick just got hard and a party just popped up.

You know what I'm saying? And I'm retarded. So that's the rest of the country. You take a Viagra at home, nothing happens. Right. You can be watching TV and then I'm 11, you go, let's see what happens. And it's the same. You know what I'm saying?

It's like, and that's where PT comes in. PT taps into your central nervous system. That's why you can't do it a bunch of times. Like if you want a Coke binge. I could just picture a guy on a Coke bench with two chicks, three fucking days. And every time that dick goes down, there's a line of Coke and a shot of PT. Yeah. Oh.

Just the thought of it, you're like. So, like, because I just, like, in the last year, have tried Bluetooth. And Bluetooth for me is, like, what PT-1-11 sounds like. The Macs. It was before, it was, like, in-between. Well, you got to try the gold. But, like, okay. I will. I love it.

What is 140? Is 141 on top of that? You shoot 141 for, you know, listen. You're a Marine. You don't want to go on it. Even though you're a Marine, you always want to bring a side partner. Yeah. And that's all you're doing. You're shooting 141 to get in your system to arouse your central nervous system.

And then once her panties are off, you eat a blue tube, make sure you drink water because it's night you have blue teeth. Yeah. And then they'll ask you, why you got blue teeth for it? Why? Yeah. And we're hopping and there goes, and there goes your little blue dick,

dead again. Yeah. So these are the things that are popping out now. And here's the sick thing. PT-141 has been around since 19-fucking 68 or some shit. And it's just getting popular now? No, nobody's told you about it. Nobody told you.

And wait. Isn't there something? Doesn't, don't steroids affect your dick? Or your balls? Your balls. Test will shrink your balls. It'll test. shrimp because your body's not making it no more.

And your sex drive will go down. Pre-contest, when you're dieting, your sex drive goes down because you're just depleted. Right. But some steroids will make you hornier. Deca makes you hornier. You know, mastron will kick you in a little bit. Yeah, so it was D-Ball than D-Qa-Roblin.

Yeah. That was the shooting one. Because D-Bor, you could eat the pills. And I just boked you up like a fucking balloon. Because D-Ball makes you strong as fuck. Yeah. lubricates your joints so that you can lift that heavy. That's why people did it together.

DECA is fucking great. It's just like, I got brisitis right now. If I touch my elbow on my mattress, I'll scream in pain. That's how bad it is. You shoot it with PT. I'll shoot PPC. Yeah. You know, you squeeze the skin.

You do that. I learned that from you. You said you had a problem with your knee. I go, where do you shoot it? You go right around my knee. I go, that's insane. And then you're like, oh, yeah. There's extra skin there.

You literally grab that skin. When you go to your knee, they take this skin right here. Yeah. So I was doing, so I was watching her and I go, so when I shoot the peptides, because I want you to shoot them here, here, here, here, and here, four shots. And that'll build the skin to regenerate in there somewhere. I was doing so many needles pre-cut. I looked like a junkie's house.

No, look at the back of my arms. Needles aren't even going in. I have calluses on the back of my arm from the GH-U-C-U. Yeah. That shit's good, too. My stomach got so, I was shooting so much in my stomach. You'd go in and then you'd feel like, it was going through scar tissue to get the needle in. It's fucking great, man.

I'm, uh. I love this shit. I'm, uh, I'm not a fan of what. I'm from Jersey, but I should have been from Missouri because you got to show me. You got to show me. I'm one of those guys. I believe in Jesus, but let him make an appearance. Yeah.

And let him fucking turn some bread into shrimp, whatever. the fuck he did, and I'm all in with you. That is Jewish Jesus. Jewish Jesus would definitely do that. All right, so I had a problem with my ear. Ear, ear, stitches, a surgery, they couldn't get the fat ball out.

Then finally they got the fat ball out, but when they shot me with, this is modern, this is old school medicine, when they shot me with that shit that when you have a bad knee, cortisol. To break the fat ball. Well, the fat ball didn't

break though after the surgery so started popping up so I had to go to them every Wednesday and you have to pick it out with a tweezer shoot me with pain I'm like I went down a waste too long I was talking when she goes what is that band-aid and I showed it to she goes I'm gonna send your container of GHQ it's the only one that stings like that's tricky because if you blast that night the pain will wake you up at night yeah if like the needle and the copper going into your body it's PHKC yeah yeah It feels like a fucking sharp thing, but then you go back to bed and it's over. But I shoot it at night.

Within three weeks, this thing started healing. Leaking, the skin started coming out, a bunch of those little balls coming out. Now, it doesn't hurt normal. It's just a matter of the outside skin growing. Healing, yeah. Dog, it took four weeks. I was talking to doctors for two years. They couldn't figure it out.

I did eight shots, 12 shots, three shots a week. And four weeks later, it's healed. Yep. So, you know, I'm not doing anything different. You know, I'm not doing anything different. It's not like I'm taking different minerals or whatever. You know, my knee, same thing. BPC in this knee.

This knee's fucked up. This is gone. Peptides can't help this. But I've been putting weight on this knee. Now you've got to yak it up again. So last week I shot it with BPC two or three days. Now I'm tip-top McGoole. Yep.

And how, because you, you can't just take this shit and, like, get strong. How many hours a day do you have to work out after taking a half? 25 minutes. I go an hour. That's just an hour a day? How long did it take you get those muscles? I mean, I've been lifting for 30 years, but, you know, off and on. It changes your whole, I think you were there for like six hours a day.

Rewires your whole brain, dude. Like, when you exercise at that level, my whole brain's, rewired now. I think differently. I didn't drink for 13 years. I told my wife, I go, if I win the universe, we're going to get a bottle of wine. She goes, you said if you ever drink, you'd leave me. All right, let's roll the dice.

I go, we've got to roll the dice, honey. Let's go. So win the universe, my weight class, I go out, get a $400 bottle of Opus 1. You ever had Opus 1? Like angels dancing on your tongue, this shit. So we go to Angeloonies and Caldwell, and he sees the bottle of the waiter. You know, bring your own booze to places in Jersey.

I like that. And he goes, oh, that's nice. He looks at it like he wanted some. And then he comes back and he pours it. My wife goes, don't drink it yet. You got to let it breathe. So got to let it breathe for half and a half and a... Then there's legs running down this thing, Joey, like you're at the Rockettes. You know what I mean?

Legs on this wine. And I have a glass. I go, all right, I'm good with a glass. So I know I'm rewired because in the old days, I'd have a glass. I'd go, call us a fucking Uber. Let's get four more box. of this shit, we're not going nowhere. And then we're going to find some Coke and drop our daughter off somewhere.

That's what we're doing. And I go, we're not doing that. At a glass, I go to put the cork back on, Joey. I knock the bottle over. The bottle starts falling. I go, no! Christine catches it, saves the bottle. Then she drank the rest of the bottle.

So now my brain is so rewired, I can have a glass of wine, you know, once every couple weeks, and I'm not in that, you know, it's rewired my brain from being an alcoholic. Who knows? I may fucking go back. I may start cheating on her with Thai lady boys. You never know what's going to happen. Are you scared of any side effects with steroids? I mean, do you read about them before you take them and see what the side effects are?

Yeah, I mean, I work with a coach that tells me what I should do. But, you know, he's not a doctor. I was a smart guy. But it's also like, look, I got this friend that I met. He came in with sauce when you were at, was it Count Basie? Where did we do? Red Bank. Yeah.

And he did the first show I did together. He goes, dude, I saw you with Joey. You open for Joey and blah, blah, blah. So we started talking online. He goes, I'm going to do that contest that you're in. So we hung out, great guy. I mean, is his name. He lives in Jersey, real good guy, beautiful family and shit.

And I go, you get scared to doing that. I go, you never go off. He goes, nah. I go, you're not worried about it. He's like, bro, you got to die somehow. I was like, yeah. And there's this saying bodybuilding. have, it's like 50 years a lion, 75 years a lamb.

You're going to live, like, they make you happier, they make you feel great. You do everything that you can do so you don't fucking keel over. You make sure your fucking heart's okay, your liver, your kidneys. And then when the doctor goes, oh shit, these levels are going up. Like guys now do blood work every few weeks. In the old days, we never did that. We just jabbed ourselves and we're like, I feel great. What the fuck?

I don't know why I'm out of my car punching somebody else's car. It's probably their fault. But now they watch their blood work constantly, and people gauge it like that. But I think once you get over 50, people should be on at least RETA test growth. I think everybody. What's RETA do for you? Reda cuts your appetite down, makes all your blood panels better. It strips fat off you.

It's like Ozempic, but good. Like it's got a fat burner in it. cuts your appetite. Everybody I'm putting it on is losing. I got a friend that just putting on five weeks. He's lost 30 pounds. Amen. It feels better.

Only side effects are a little bit of mild nausea. If you overeat, you feel like shit. If you overeat, you feel like, oh, fuck. If I start tasting the food for it tastes like, you look, yeah. And your appetite goes way down. And as a bodybuilder, it's like an ultimate cheat code. Makes contest prep so easy because you're like, oh, I have no cravings. That's the hardest part of prep.

is the cravings. You die and eat pizza. You don't feel that. Rewires your brain. You just go, oh, okay, I'm just going to eat the food I have to eat to be productive. That's it. For me, was four pounds of fish a day. Four pounds of white fish a day, baked potatoes, vegetables,

three gallons of crystal leg. Four fish a day. How many grams of protein? Probably about 250 grams of protein. Yeah. How bad did your fart? smell. Not bad at all. I try to get a buck in a quarter

with their protein. Yeah. And that's a lot. I got to do a lot to get a buck in a quarter. That's a protein shake with a cheat 30 gram. Yeah. Fucking creatine in your diet? Yeah. Why not? Why is the pros and cons? I just never, I feel like I'm on

roids I don't need creatine. I feel like all the protein I'm eating is synthesizing itself well enough, like everything is going to muscle. And I don't eat any shit now. Like it's even hard for me to have a cheat meal. I don't feel like it. Like I was like, I guess I should eat a pizza. I was like a bit of pizza. I'm like, okay, I'm good. It'd be fasting or anything. No. I eat right before bed. If I want sugar cereal, I eat sugar cereal. I'll have a protein cookie once a week. It's not bad. How was the cheat meal after the competitions? Insane. Went to Angelooney. Fucking had the thinny thin. Portnoy gave it an 8.8.

and some carbunero, some bacon in it. You'd love that. Some galamar, some garlic knots. Next morning went out for breakfast. Put on 15 pounds over those two meals. And you're like, I didn't eat 15 pounds of food. How's that possible? Your body's in survival mode because it thinks I would wake up, Joy.

I was in Austin shooting that thing. I'd sleep maybe three or four hours. And then wake up, I'd be like, okay, I'm good to go. And you just go for the day. And I'm like, why is it? Your body's in fight or flat? Your body literally thinks it's starving because you're dieting. So your body wakes up and it's like, we have to find food.

But you're not thinking that. You're just like, I'm awake. I'm going to do cardio, go pose, work out. It's fucking nuts. It's insane. It's like a heightened level of existence. Everything gets more spiritual. All the shit you were doing, like the Winnie V and the...

No Winnie V. Winnie V. is impossible to find out. There's just Winnie tabs. They have the tabs. no more. The Winnie Vee was that white injectable. I don't know if it's any good. You have old Winnie Vee.

Somebody gave it to me right before the pandemic. Really? They said, I want you to go on this. He gave me like a dieer and I'm like, I'm not doing this shit. Not much of the movie. It was maybe Anavar. Anavar is great. Orals.

I think I got him in my draw still. Nice. I'll stop by. The whole thing. Yeah, I'll come by. They got to be fucking expired, but in our world. Don't matter. Those things are even better than the original.

Still take them. Fuck yeah. It's just a suggestion, man. So with all this now, I watch one of your clips from the special, and you're actually talking about the pros and cons of TRT on. Are you on TRT also? Yeah. Jesus Christ.

You're like a human fucking explosive. I feel great, though, Joey. You look great. And I'm not depressed. I'm not depressed. I think that there's, if you're at a level where you're doing the right amount, it's positive. But of course, the addict in me is like, I should do more.

And that's where my coach, my friend Denny, goes, why? You feel great, you look great. So it's law of diminishing returns. You want to take more so you're going to get bigger, but psychologically it's going to fuck you up. On the inside, it's going to fuck you up. I think there's a fine line when people do the right amount that makes you feel fucking great.

I feel way better than I did. It's crazy, isn't it? And what peptides are you on now? Wolverine stack and Reda Trutide. And then I... Just two? Yeah. Then I get some other stuff.

I've got CMAX. I haven't tried that. I've got NAD. I haven't tried that. I shoot that. How is it? This is what it is. I shoot like three times a week.

60 C.C. Whatever the fuck that is. That's a lot of C.C. That's not... That's not 60 CCCs. 60 full needles. I do a... I do a...

I do. TB 500 twice a week. Yeah. And I do BPC five nights a week. Yeah. So like Sunday I do it, maybe a Thursday. Where you shooting your belly? No, my arms.

I haven't taken the belly yet. I think I'll faint. You get your wife to do it or you do yourself? Yeah. I had a train from scratch. I kept telling us stop putting in the fucking muscle. Yeah. It's not intra-fucking muscular.

Yeah. So she finally figured out how to get the fat under your arm. You don't feel a fucking thing. I know. That's not bad. You should have to close your eyes. Huh? the stomach's not bad.

You just have to close your eyes because I was doing the shots, the weight loss shots, like a couple years ago. And you do get a little lightheaded. It doesn't hurt, but just seeing a needle go into you, freaks me out. I don't want to see it.

So just close your eyes and go, poop, and it's not bad. I don't look when I get blood taken. I'll look away like that. You do that or you look at it. I look away. Sometimes I bring earphones so I don't hear the paper ripping from the needle.

That's how fucking profan. I put on Santana every time I give blood. Same song. The one from Carlito's way? I keep, no. Oia come over. Yeah. Dan, dan, dan, dan.

I fucking, I have my finger on the thing. Yeah. And once I give her, let me know when you're going to start. Once she tightens the thing, I just live it there. Once she starts rubbing the alcohol on my arm, I press my little Santana music. And I look the other way. Yeah.

And I think of things. fantasies Clarice and next thing you know she's done and she's folded my arm off yeah when I go to waist her well when you walk in there they pop an IV yeah

and I used to faint that the fucking no more I walk in there at 11 o'clock giving my arm she twists a little bit first shot right in the fucking vein Joey I went and got my blood done two weeks ago and the girl

was fucking speak louder will you I went and got my blood done there you go two weeks ago You whispered to The phlebotomist was fucking gorgeous So I start talking to her And I go I'm hoping my blood's okay

You know all that test them on and shit You could see her getting involved And I go What are you doing this weekend? She goes I'm going down to the shore With the kids It's fun because they can drink now I go just you and the husband

And her she was my husband passed away I go oh I'm so sorry I go man it must be tough How is it? rebound and she goes, I was seeing this guy. He's a fuck boy. Fucking done with that guy. I go, you work out a lot, huh? She goes like this. Joe, she pulls her shirt up, shows me her abs. I go, holy fuck, how old are you? She goes, 50. She goes, look at this. brings up her Instagram, starts showing me pictures. I go, look at these. I show her my apps. Then I'm like, so you're going

to Long Beach Island this weekend? She goes, yeah, I go, you should come to a show. You want to come watch me do comedy or something. I go, it's real offensive. You'll like it, man. I go, bring your son or something like that. And then DM'd her. And I'm like, I can't fuck this lady. She lives too close to me. You know what I mean? You ever have that thought? You can't cheat because she lives too close. That's what I thought. What if my wife goes to my urologist? And she's like, ah, that's your husband. I'm fucking, you know, so I fuck it. I axed that right away. But I like the fact she was taking my blood and she had abs and she's hot. And the doctor poked his head in while we're flirting and he looked all upset.

Like she does this with everybody or something. And I was like, mind your business. I'll talk to you in a few minutes. And this doctor, by the way, I don't even think he's a doctor. I'll tell him, I'll go, I was taking anivore and I go, my iron's low. I don't know if it's because the anavar. He's like, hang on. He Googles, would anavar lower iron?

He goes, no, it says here, it wouldn't. I'm like, you don't know the answer? He's Googling it. Why don't I just stay home, save the $75 copay, and Google my own shit? I don't trust these doctors, Joey. What's up, beautiful people? The weight is over. Football is here, and so is Draft Kings.

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I want to thank Ind the Cloud for the great products they make and I want to thank them for supporting the church of what's happening now. Love you guys. Have a great week. In the Cloud. Hey. You know, you got into a weird, risky business. You need them or you could

just go, you know, what is that when you fuck somebody without a condom, you could gray dog it. Rod dogged. You can fuck. Great dog. That's when it's a dead lady. You could rod dog it. Yeah.

And see what happens. I mean, you know, listen, this modern shit that we're talking about here, not everybody's doing this. It's not like you go to your fucking 60-year-old doctor and talk to them about peptides. He's going to look confused. Yeah, they don't know. They don't know, guys. So you go into these people. that don't know and it's not their specialty

or whatever. And then you got these clinics that are popping up that are kind of helpful. They're all over edge water and old boat because it's muddy. And people could do that shit. They could get the shots and all that stuff. But this new shit that's coming along with, you know, I have a friend, George knows him. He's been

smoking crackers's all life. He had cancer, he went to the doctor for treatments. No more cancer in his fucking ass, the rectum cancer, whatever the fuck that shit is. It's a whole different world now. You have a a problem now, you go to doctor? Nine out of ten, they'll solve it.

Listen, at the end of the day, you're going to fucking die. Yeah. But if you want a better quality of life, why not go see these guys? I hate needles. I hate all that chitter-chat in the doctor's office and fingers up my ass and fucking, you know, what prescriptions are you on?

Lady, I have no idea. Yeah. Don't ask me. Even after I tell him, do you see my wife here? No. Don't ask me those questions. If you need to talk to her, you could call them. They don't give a fuck. They'll come at me with the same thing. So how many milligrams

a month? I lost. I'm done. I don't think. I think you're a fucking idiot. I just told you 10 times that I got so much. My mind is so little. I got so much storage in there. You want me to remember my fucking prescriptions. I don't know. I blow up a thing in the

morning for my lungs. I take fucking retard pills for focus. There's a couple things I take. I don't fucking know. And they're all fucking blood pressure related. Yeah. Oh, do you take this or is it that? Listen, lady, don't ask again.

What about Lexapro? I don't think I'd take that. Take Lexa Pro? No, no, no. That's out of this shit for crazy people. Yeah. That's what you take. Yeah, it's good.

Yeah. Ease me off. Yeah, it's good shit. And do they blood test you for these competitions? No. No? No. No.

Is anyone not doing this stuff? Uh, They'll lie to you, and that's why in mind, listen, if this motherfucker told me that all he does is eat steak and shoot BPC, we wouldn't have to be having this conversation. Because there's those guys that look at you. They don't have a neck. Yeah. I'm all natural. I do push him, I eat 30 eggs a day.

Okay. You got to go. Yeah. Those are the guys that burn you the fuck up. Yeah. Just tell me the truth. You look great. I'm not here to judge you.

But don't sit here and lie to me and say you never did nothing. No, not even Joe Weed or supplements. Okay. Yeah. And when did this stuff, like 50, whenever Arnold was doing it, like he was he doing stuff like this? Was this stuff around at all? Oh, yeah. Okay.

There wasn't peptides back then. Not in the levels. Arnold was doing the same shit. Everybody else was doing those days. D-ball. Yep. Deca drobbling, maybe some testosterone. Some sippinate.

There was old-school shit. Yep. Now this is a different fucking. thing for every muscle. Because I was reading somebody a year ago about a guy who shot a certain steroid to bulk up, but his shoulders needed extra work. So there was some other steroid. I'm like, I didn't even know about this.

They shoot synthol in their shoulders now. You can tell because you can't see the striations in them. You can't see the cuts. They're just round. Guys shoot, it's literally like oil that they just shoot in that puffs them up. And then there's people getting surgery, getting plastic. inserted in their muscles now. What are you talking about? Like cancerous plastic.

That's how bad people want to win. And you know where you get when you win these contests, right? What do you win? A plastic trophy. Like, I probably... Like, if you win the Missed Olympia, 750 grand. If you win the Arnold, a million dollars. Those are two.

Those are the two biggest ones. That's the one in Columbus. The Arnold is a good one. The Arnold's great. Yeah, that's a great one. But that's it. I mean, I saw A guy won. So everybody wants to turn pro. At the universe, they go, if you win your class, you get your pro card. I won my class.

I'm like, where's my pro card? They go, oh, there's got to be five people in your class. There was three. So I didn't get my pro card. Right. So I'm like, okay. And I asked the guy, go, so how do we resolve this? He goes, you compete more.

Now, these guys that run these competitions make a fucking mint. Yeah. Because everybody enters. You got a paid enter. then there's sponsors, then there's people buying tickets. They only take cash at the door. They're a comedy competition. They only take cash at the door.

I brought the girls in, got them VIP seats. That's 140 bucks for the nighttime show. That's 140 bucks. So, I mean, these guys that run these shows, very nice guys, but they're making a fucking mint. If you're a bodybuilding promoter, you're making a good fucking living. And these guys fucking, you know, 20 weeks are starving.

and going crazy to get on stage, you get one minute to pose. You're posing routines one minute. And then you go, I was lucky enough I get to go out for the overall. Like you win your class, you get to go out and pose against these other guys. But these other guys are 80 pounds heavier than me. I'm a lightweight. So it's very rare that you're going to beat these guys. Came close.

The first show I did, I took second to a guy that was 80 pounds more than me. And it was that, and, you know, there was like eight people in the class. Do you have closing poses? Is it like a set, like a stand-up set when you're posing? Yeah. Yeah, you want to close strong. You want to close with your biggest, your longest, wordiest thing. And then I went out and I started yelling at the crowd because they were so quiet.

I go, come on, there's an overall pose down. Let's go, people. And I was like, oh, I'm MC in this thing now. Like it was like that, man. It's so much fun. But you get, you get a plastic trophy. You get a metal. And then you get to feel good.

But a guy won, once you turn pro, there was a guy that was 50 plus. So he turned pro in a master's category. He's like, finally won my first pro show. He was holding up a check for $600. $600. How much do you spend on all the shots? Okay, so steroids are the least expensive of your expense. You've got a gym membership.

You got coach. You got posing coach. Posing coach, by the way, is $120 for a half hour session. that's a posing coach i've worked with the best posing coach in the country and then um and you got to keep doing it because you got to keep getting better and it's all bodybuildings and illusion it's how you're how you're holding your body is going to hide your weaknesses and highlight your strengths right so if guys that don't know how to pose you could have the best body in the world you're still going to look like shit then groceries you're talking probably close to 400

bucks a week. Over 20 weeks. You're talking to eight grand. Then your juice, G.H is 600 bucks a month. Then you hopefully get your peptides for free. You know, you work with a peptide company. You get your peptides for free. But then your juice, your test is pretty cheap. You're going to prescribe. It's like, you know, 40, 50 bucks a month. Master owns 80 bucks a bottle, shit like that. The steroids aren't crazy. Food is the biggest expense. And then you've got a travel to these shows. You've got to put yourself up in a hotel and it's fucking spray tan. You want photos of it. That's like two to three hundred dollars for someone to take pictures of you. These guys are making a mint. I can't believe you go from one fucking frying pan for the other one.

You know what I'm saying? Some people, why don't you just do ballet? You know? No, you got to do two things with your fates in the audience's hands. Yeah. That is fucking crazy. Yeah. But it's fucking great feels oh no the the rush must be fantastic and the people in it the people that do this the best people we this is you walk into a room of 100 200 people that look like assholes when you if you saw them on the street you'd be like look at this meathead dick nicest people in the world good god fear and everybody's back there fucking praying and shit like that come off stage with these guys he's like man could we do a prayer together man i don't want to offend no but buddy and you just stand there

God thank you for allowing us to compete and be healthy and meet all these new friends and you're like these are the nicest fucking people in the world. Comics are a bunch of bitches fucking crying outside of a club. They're fucking cry babies. Fucking bitches.

This is exceptions, but most comics, you know, in the city, are fucking cry babies. I'm out of it. I don't go over there. It's funny, we've been talking a lot about peptides. I want to give somebody a shout out. the people I deal with in Jersey, I love her. I know her family really well.

And the father owns a gym. She owns a Pilates Studio. And about two years ago, she got into peptides. And she's like a fucking human book. You know, like you got to ask her. And she lost like a million bucks. Yeah. So she started her own airpeptides.

That company. That's what's called airpeptides.com. She'll give you 20% off for some cocoa 20. You get 20% off. Yeah. She really knows her. shit. She always throws you some extra in the bag. Last

she gave me this red stuff. I looked it up. It's like tremendous. It's like shoot an IV every day. It's like this 20 CCs, bam. You're brand new. It's red. I haven't tried it yet. I Jap GPTed it.

It's good stuff. So she threw that in and she goes to let me know what you think. Nice. Look it up. Do some research. Ask me any questions you want. So I like dealing with her. The other people I deal with when I'm locally in Jersey, like if I need a quick fix is underground nutrition.

They're good guys. They know their shit. Yeah. My man Jordan, you know, is a good dude. So I got people I can mail from for you guys that live across the country. If you want to deal with a reputable company, she's just reputable as shit. I mean, she's walking. It's all.

And I talked to the Adameter Friday. It was an hour conversation. she's so interesting when you talk to somebody about peptides and they're opening up she just gives me a pack every month yeah and says let me know what you think and don't try that until you get off of that so

good listen I'm an old man I want to work for another 15 months 16 months you know and fucking and we'll take it from there I just want to be healthy for that good period you look good so for me losing a little weight yeah

I was telling Pedro that as you mature as a comic. Once you start headlining, you don't know what lifting weights is. You do two shows on a Friday and Saturday. 45 minutes and the crowd depends on you. Like, you're the one that's selling tickets. That affects you.

It affects your whole body. And when you do two shows after two flights, you're fucking beat up. And I tell you what, I don't get this beat up anymore since I've been working out. Now it's like a Friday night to me. But there were times where I get home from Friday night to say, second show I have to put ice on both knees ice on my hip I could feel it when I walk yeah you know your feet grab onto the floor you're fucking an animal mm-hmm so yeah I enjoy doing this crazy shit yeah me too we're all gonna die yeah and I

gonna turn the clock back there's no such thing as anti-agent what we can do is prepare to get old without plastic surgery or fucking fake eyebrows or what the fuck these people are doing you know If you could do one medical thing to change your body, penis extension, calf implants, what would you do? Anything. I try to lose 40 pounds. Yeah.

Take some visceral fat off me. Who needs a big dick if you got visceral fat. That's going to kill you anyway. Yeah. I'd rather have a two-inch dick and look fucking like Jan Michael Vincent. You know, I saw that motherfucker. I told you I watched Hooper the other day. Yeah.

It's a good fucking movie. Bert Reynolds, him. Sally Fields, that's her name. That girl can act. Holy shit. She was cute. I can't believe he was dating her. When's the special come out?

Tomorrow. The 8th. Comedy gets jacked. September the 8th. Yeah. Shot in Austin. Creek in the Cave. And what platform is on?

YouTube and Gas Digital. You feel good about it? I feel good about it. It's really good. It was a bunch of you guys. Tripoli. Me, Tripoli, who else?

Zach Amico, Tim Butterly, Dave Landau. Good for those guys to give very young comics opportunities. Yeah. Young. Los Foss and Gomez

and the other fucking guy. Yeah, they know what to do. They're at concerts every fucking night. Yeah. You know. These guys are going crazy.

Yeah, they go fucking crazy. And listen, men, they work hard throughout the, putting Skank Fest together and shit. Are you going to go? I don't know yet.

I got plans that Friday night. You know, it's a blast. Are you going? I don't think I got in. I got the weekend before, though, in Chicago and in Wisconsin. I got the week afterward, and I got the week after it. So it's going to be a long remember. Yeah.

You've been in New Orleans before? Obviously. I shot a movie there. What movie? Brudge match with De Niro and Kevin R. Yeah. I went there for a couple of comedy shows. my favorite cup of tea no food's overrated did you notice that i like the food i thought it was

overrated yeah i went to the fried stuff oh yeah that's why oh my god i i want to throw i ain't gumbo and maybe i got to have a good gumbois is good yeah a little banyet after yeah a little banyet and shit but yeah it's uh you know that's a nice place to shoot a special yeah and now they're doing skank fest november 8th or something i spoke and to them it's just a matter of time Yeah. It's three long days. You're surrounded by people. That's a lot.

You could go less. You could say, I'm going to go quick. Then you got to fly in. She would let me go on like on Friday night if I want it. Yeah. It's a good time. So I'll think about it. See what's going on.

Yeah. There's not a lot of Jews doing that stuff, is there? Are you like the only Jew at these competitions? No, there's a few. But you can't tell. They blend in very well. They take the stars off their arms. Yeah.

Yeah. The yellow stars that they give on. the way in, they just strip them off. That's nice that they're not a little of them taking up. Yeah. Yeah, I think, yeah, Ben Wheater was Jewish, the guy that started. Yeah, I mean, yeah. I took a lot of his fucking products, snorted him, too.

Because he used to have cloline ionocetol pills in the 80s. Yep. And when Clorine ran out to cut the Coke, I would just go, I would just go over there and give him clawline an anastole. All my, all my fucking clients were skinny and ripped. What did that stuff do? ripped you up. Really?

Nacetolk together. It's a myth fat burner. Yeah. I think it don't do dick to you, but if you snorted, it gives you the reap reward. You get all skinny and shit. It's not the Coke that makes you skinny.

It's the weeder products. I think the Coke makes you skinny, but the clorline an anastetor gives the skinniness little definition. Okay. Let's just say that. It gives you a little definition. That's a good stack.

Coke and Cloline. So tell me why there's no windstrol you can't find? Windstrol, V, you can't find it anymore. The injectable windstrel is really hard to find. Oral, nothing? Oral, yeah, at the tabs, but not the white milky shit that used to. Orals are still safe for any age. I mean, orals go through.

People say you should inject instead of do orals. They think it's safer to inject. Yeah. I mean, I drank a bottle of Decker de Roblin one time. No, you didn't. Yes, I did. No, you didn't. Yes, I did.

No, you didn't. So fucking mercy's fucking, I swear to God, I was living in Boulder. It was right before I got arrested for kidnapping. And there was a guy, Tom, big fucking John Elway looking, fucking cowboy looking motherfucker. And we detailed cars together. And one night, he goes, after work, what are you going to do? I go, I don't know.

He goes, give me a ride home. I'll shoot you with some steroids. I thought he was just fucking kidding me, this guy. Yeah. I drive home, he's like, come on then, man. Let me shoot you with some star. I'll stop. He was big, this guy.

Yeah. And I went to his house, and his sister fed me and shit. He said, I come to the basement. I went down, then he had all the needles ready and shit on my dog. I ain't fucking doing that. Because those days, it was 1987. I was totally anti-needles. Yeah.

Like, that was not going to happen. He's like, dog, just so hop you, all this shit. I was a baby, you know. And finally, he had, like, a bottle of it that you stick the needle in, and I fucking ripped the top off and I go, why can't I drink it? He's not going to work. I go, watch me.

I drank the fucking was in there. What happened? I don't know. Here I am. Why can I drink? It's fucking nuts. Fucking nuts. You didn't feel sick?

Huh? You didn't feel sick? He just got really red. Yeah. Are you going to be like a ripped at like 70? Are you going to be like this big? I hope. That's great.

I mean, yeah. I want to keep doing it. I love it. Until the day I die, I think. Until the day I die, I'm going to go to the gym. Yeah, but going to the gym is a little bit different than the fuck. I can't imagine what you're doing. Yeah, I can't do it.

You have veins in your knee. I can't see what the fuck is. I'm blown away by all this stuff you're doing. Thanks, man. It feels great. You could do it, you know. You know, I got really inspired when I saw a documentary on muscle building, bodybuilders in Okinaw or Japan because they weren't young. The leaves start at 65. Mm-hmm.

So it's 65 to 75, 75 to 85, 75 to 85 and 85 to 95. I watched this whole thing. I was blown the fuck away. It really inspired the fuck out of me. But then I watched something different. Well, I read something different. They're saying that Okinawa takes their death certificates to lie about the population because they don't want people to move there. Oh. Because they say it's the island and the world where you live the longest.

Really? Yeah, they live the longest. But now they're saying that for years, they didn't tell people that the people were dead. They just kept their birth certificates to make it seem like they lived at 114 and 118 and the whole thing. Oh. The culture is hordes older people. And like they were interviewing a woman and she goes, they asked how many boyfriends you got?

She's like three of them. She goes, it's like a paradise for older people. We fuck, we suck. We eat fish. Yeah. So we eat. Fish is good. The swing dick.

Yep. And live weights. That's all these motherfuckers did. They showed these guys. They showed the 75 to 85 year old league. And that was the, he won the 85 year old. And they said, that's it. Starting next year, you go to the 86 to, you know, 95.

And they were saying how deep that category is. Really? Deep and really hard. And they showed some, listen, they're fucking 8, 90 years old. Yeah. Okay. It's a third of your pack. It's not even.

It's like just, but at 70, at least they have that bird body. Yeah. With the six pack. They all have six pack. Yeah. all of them got six-pack, striations in their thighs. Fats bad for you. If you got a lot of fat, that's how disease gets carried.

It's in fat. In fact? Yeah. So, ever since that, I was like, wow, what we don't do in this country, we just give up after 48. Now there's a boom for people over 50, and now there's a boom. I was talking to my jihitsu friend the other day. He said two guys, 74 joined two. weeks ago. He goes, Joey, they're in there

killing each other these two guys. They know each other from some pool league or something they do. He goes, you got to see these motherfuckers. They're in there poking each other's eyes and shit, choking each other with headlocks and stuff. And I go, you know, you don't have, you know, as you get older, nobody wants to hang out with you.

That's why those old dudes go to Jiu-Jitsu every fucker. This is 60, he's 69 now. Yeah. Puerto Rican guy. He was a, he's a, he had a karate school in the Bronx, and he was a principal of a grammar school in the Bronx and he retired. He goes, that's all I do is go to Jiu-Jitsu.

Yeah. Motherfucker, he's 69. He goes five days a week. People say even better than the exercise is the sense of community that you get at these places. The what? Sense of community. Yeah, that's, listen, I always tell people, you want to meet people in your town, go to

jujitsu studio. Yeah. You're going to, everything that you need is going to be there. Steroids, peptides, weed, mushrooms, muscles, trainers, cops, detectives, everybody's in one place. You're lonely in a town? Just go to fucking Jitza school.

You'll meet everybody you need to meet. Go to the best one, and everybody you're going to need in your life is going to be there. I swear to God, whatever your needs are in life, there's going to be somebody that go, hey, I do that.

My brother does that. And you're like, God damn it. Yeah, you'll get a PBA card for sure. Oh, you don't need PBA cards I got from that. in Jiu Jitza school? I got like one, the guy is the driver to the governor. Yep.

He's Mickey Cheryl's driver now. He goes to that Jiu Jitsu School. And we talked for a year and he never knew I was Uncle Joey. Really? And we took a picture of Jiu-Jitsu in class when they, and he came back and he goes, I've got to talk to you about something. And we walked downstairs and he goes, hey man, I want to give you something. He goes, because you always talk to me like a gentleman.

I didn't have an idea you were a comedian. He goes, I showed the picture of the class. and all these cops were like, how do you know him? Yeah, no, I don't know him, he's an old fat guy that shows up. And they're like, no, man. He thought he was being nice to be a nice. Yeah, yeah, and he was being nice.

Yeah. I like when somebody don't know who the fuck I am. They treat me like a human being. Of course. So for like six months, he didn't know anything about anything. He doesn't watch comedians. Yeah. And then he came back and he gave me that card.

You know what his number on it? You really have a pinch one night, call me, I'll come get you. But that's all not judicious school. Yeah. The trainer that I go to now, I'm at that jujitist's school. I loved it. The lunchtime classes, I wouldn't take, I wouldn't do shit.

I don't give a fuck. If you had a meeting for me, I'd rather go to Jiu-Jitza at 12. Yeah. The 45-minute class, they have a little 45-minute class. Three days a week, that class was my heart. You go in there, you wrestle, you get beat up, and you go home. Yep. one, two guys you wrestle with,

you mess around with another guy, and you talk to eight and nine people, man. And as you get older, that's the problem you're going to have. So, yeah, but I go to the gym. You go to the gym by yourself. I don't want you to join Crunch and be the celebrity,

be the fucking, the town crier. But I'll go to a middle-level gym. The people at the gym, in my mid-level gym, there are people that are 80 and 70. Yeah. And I torment the women at those gyms.

I tell them they're looking good. And they still, there's a hot one, like 68. Yeah. And I always tell a work on that twerking. Yeah. I always tell you, you got to start twerking, baby. When I take you the cousins, I want you twerking like a motherfucker. Dude.

Older ladies are sexy now. They're what? Sexy. Oh, they got good old pussy. That shit's experience. Telling you. It's nice and kept. 60, 65.

Stretches in and shit. Yeah. It becomes selective. The smell of condoms gets out of there. Yeah. It's just straight up fucking, what do they call a booba? What are they called a little clip? The bulbba, whatever the fuck.

Volva. The bulb. It was like a polka. Older women. That's my shit right there. It's a fucking nightmare, man, man. But listen, congratulations on your special. Thank you.

Congratulations on winning the competition. Thank you. Everything you got into it. I'm proud to call you a friend and next time show up to the dojo when you're supposed to you know what I will promise you've been busy I've been busy

what's going on with auditions or anything anything lately what about I did a episode of Boston Blue with Donnie Wahlberg that's right I saw that so Donnie's gonna have me and my wife for her birthday he sent a nice little video I go can you send her a video he goes hey your husband's here he's killing it by the way if you can be in Vegas

the beginning of October I got backstage age passes for you for new kids on the block. So we're going to fly down and go see new kids on the block. They're my favorite band, all their songs, like the one and the other one and that other one. I'm going to take this out of the podcast, okay? And I usually don't cut shit out of the podcast, but I want nobody knowing your boys to men, Frank. Keep that to yourself. Not voice to men.

Whatever the fuck they are. Keep that to yourself. I don't know any of their song. My wife knows it. So we're going to get, Donnie's the nicest guy. You met Donnie? All the time. Boy, that guy's a night.

That guy's one of the top four Walbergs. I'll tell you right now. He is a nut. That guy's an angel. He's the one that's married to Jenny McCarthy. Right. But this guy, just such a positive vibe, comes in. He's rocking out.

I go, what do you listen to? He goes, music from the Lord. All right. Here we go. Let's go do these scenes. He's a born-again Christian, right? I think he's, yeah. I mean, I didn't ask him.

They're all those Hollywood guys. they got to take the taste of cock out of their mouth. So they become born again. That's when they become born again. When you got to take the taste of cock out of your mouth. You know what I'm saying? All of a sudden they turn to Jesus. Jenny McCartney, too.

She's another one. She comes up with a retarded kid now she wants to save the world. You got a retarded kid. Let it go. Let it go, Jenny. You got good pussy, but it's spit out of a retarded kid. So it's not that good in my world. You know what I'm saying?

I don't care how good your pussy. Anyways, I'll be canceling my flight to Vegas. I was going to say, then you've washed the tickets. There's no more tickets. It's like Lana with the kid that runs away. Good pussy always spits out retarded kids and then. I don't know nothing about nothing. I just know I'm going to see a concert.

I don't know nothing about nothing. Forget about it. They got to get the taste of cock out of the mind. In the name of the father and the son of the Holy Ghost. With his fucking fake eyebrows and his wig. He's done the fucking rethink Eight times to get a head Let it go, let it go

Jim Carrey abused me Bitch, you were passed around At the Playboy Mansion What do you mean Jim Carrey abused you? Get smuggled in there Through the tunnels With little Paris Hilton and shit I'm happy this

This is a good Christian podcast I'm It's gonna bigger's the tickets You got brother, what kind of action you got What do you mean I'm not allowed backstage no more? No, it's not Uncle Joe. He's just an old guy at the gym.

I didn't call you some retarded. It's my friend. It wasn't me. Let me back there. Then they want to get it like sympathy and they bring the kid in camera. The kid's eyes are out here. Why are you doing that? Why are you doing that to me?

The kid's retarded. Leave it old. Put a hat on them. You know what kind of date you got to? What kind of date you got to? with the brother man. Listen, I'm getting old and I'm seeing things what they are.

Every day, I look at shit and I go, why are we playing around this? Yeah. Why are we tip-towing around this? I feel the same way. It's a nice start. You got to call these fucking idiots out in Hollywood. You got, they're just,

they are so out of control. Instagram is completely. out of control. The fucking Kanye West daughter. What the fuck is that? It looks like Herman Munster. You got the legs off? You haven't seen Kanye's daughter with big boots on singing and they're taking pictures

and Kanye says she's pregnant. This cannot be happening. Yeah. This would not happen 30 years ago. Now the world's fucked up. And it just gets accepted every night. And every time you open Instagram, you're like, whoops, let's see what fucking surprise.

Oh, the guy's. There's a guy on Instagram, or he does the swing kettlebells all day. Okay. All day long, Turkish get-ups. Go get an ass. Yeah. Go do something. You lift all those weight.

I mean, they drive you fucking crazy. So I got to stop even going on there no more because the world's falling in the shit. We're getting involved in all this shit. Thank God. Nobody has brought up that court with the lady and killing the kids. I don't know anything about it, but I don't want to hear nothing about it either. Because I don't give a fuck about her, the kids, whoever. I went to one get together this week

and all these women were talking about. I left. I went in the car and got an eye and never came back here. My wife's like, where you go? I don't know nothing about that shit. I don't want to talk about that shit. Enough. Enough.

I control what comes into your ears. I don't need to hear this shit no more. Yeah. You're fucking retarded kid with the eyes. The fuck out of here. Give me a breather. Yeah. Take the taste of cock out of your mouth.

What dates you got to swing to play, boy? I got, uh, I'm gonna be a comedy. Key West, September 16th to 20th. I'm in Wayne, New Jersey, September 23rd. What's the name of the place on Wayne, brother? It's the pal, because the other place had a fire. They normally do it at the community center. Jewish Lightning.

Well, police athletic league. Yeah. And then... You got a New Year's gig, bro? Not yet. Okay. I like to stay in the city New Year's. What are you doing New Year's?

Stay home in my business. No reason to do comedy or anything. Stay in the City New Year's. It's a fucking amateur crowd, and especially now they're all waiting. for you know Kanye's daughter or whatever the fuck they're doing it's gonna start doing stand-up at the cellar and then uh what else oh Columbus ohio October 10th Cleveland Ohio October 11th you at the funny burn no I'm doing uh Columbus I'm doing comedy attic and then Cleveland I'm doing hilarities thank you for coming on today dude thank you for having me special

fuck yeah don't forget to follow them on a special comes on on YouTube and gas digital what's the name of it keep the cock out of your breath and That's a working title. I think it's called comedy gets jacked. What do you got, little brother? September's a big month. Got the Saratoga Comedy Festival. Got the helium in Buffalo.

And then I have Boka, Black Box, and Tampa Side Splitters. Fuck, yeah. Well, I got nothing. You got some. I'm moving to Austin. Next Thursday, the 17th. I got a show in the Little Room.

Joey Deers and Friends. And then September 30th, we're at the Brooklyn Impro. That's all we got right now. What can I tell you? Everybody's happy. Thank you, brother. Thank you, brother. Thank you.

Thank you, motherfuckers. Thank you for being a part of the experience today. We touched on some interesting topics. I hope you learned some. And if you didn't, I don't know what the fuck to tell you. I love you, cock suckers. Have a great week.