Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - Sometimes It Works And Sometimes It Doesn't | The Church of What's Happening Now

Episode Date: September 29, 2026

#JoeyDiaz #Madflavor #UncleJoeysJoint #TheJoint #thechurchofpentecost Produced by Andrew Houston & Joe Russo

Kick this motherfucker, Neil Lee. What up, beautiful people. Uncle Joey here with the church of what's happening now, new edition, and my main man, Pedro Garcia. It's Tuesday, the 29th of September. You got two and a half more shoplift than months. That's it. It's coming quick.

If you're already in October 1st on Thursday, think about this. We were just having a conversation, and you can't dress them white, you know, September 1st. And look at us now. We're in October. but it's another fun-filled show Pedro's here what up

Tarzan? Chilling, brother, what's going on with you? Ah, you know, bro. Had a rough week last week with the internet Oh yeah, trying to play GTA fucking, you play for two hours, then everybody else gets on and fucking the computer goes down

and start stuttering, whatever the fuck they call it? Lagan. Lacking. What the fuck, lagging, stuttering. Same shit. Chat was going crazy calling the Chinese Wi-Fi. Yeah, yeah. You just go fuck this, I'm going to bed. I might as well go to bed. But besides that, the week was great.

We did that show, Uncle Vinnie. Shout out if you came out. It was a great night. You know, when Uncle Vinnie packs up, man, that club is fucking real. Oh, yeah. It was real that night. Real fun, man. And, you know, again, I'm sorry to all you people who stayed home

because you were petrified of the North Easter. Oh, yeah. Go fuck yourself. I don't know what the fuck you're thinking. Why are you letting these people scare the fuck out of you? There was nothing on the road. I mean, people calling me up. Be careful tonight. There's ambulance.

There was not a tree down. Nobody lost that power. Nothing. Nothing. I see one Puerto Rican on a boat. No. And all day Friday, New Jersey 12, the gay guy was on there. All fucking day.

A fucking drop of rain didn't fall at all. But here's what really pissed me off. What pissed me off was that fucking, they canceled ACDC on Friday night and MetLife. and a raindrop didn't even fall. Rumor has that the union guys didn't want to go up on top to build something because it was windy, you know. But still, there was not a raindrop. Every time I went out Friday night,

it was, I was getting more and more fucking, you know, every time I go out, I go, nothing's going on. It was like a, you're getting petrified here to death, you know? So that's the only thing I hate about all those fucking, when they scare white people. Yeah. But besides that, and I forgot to bring it up, man.

What's up? For a couple weeks there, I was trying to, you know, listen, man, I know when your comedy's a little on the offside. You know, you always know,

you know, sometimes you go up there and they laugh, but when you get off, you go, I forgot this, I didn't do this, right, I didn't do that,

right? Right. So for the last, like, six weeks, I've been looking around for Judy Carter's book. stand-up comedy.

And some people look at it, and it's, you know, like, most comics look at it and shut it off. For the reasons I always did. My reason was, loof a fucking Judy Carter. I never seen on a Tonight Show. I never saw a do dick, you know? And somebody gave me the book when I started out.

Somebody recommended it to me. I bought it. And I looked at it and had some interesting stuff, but at the time I didn't think it was me. then I re-bought it and I kept losing it and I re-bought it until about 97. It was a Bible. It was always in with the writing stuff and I would take, if I was on a high percentage of bombing, you know, one of those weeks where you keep bombing, I would open it up and go to basics.

But for some reason, like six weeks ago, I'm like, I went home from something, one of these shows we do and I'm like, you know what, I'm going to look to see if I could buy this book. because I saw her on Instagram. I go, Julia's father got an Instagram account. She was 80 when I bought the book. You know, now that's 40 years ago. That's 35 years ago. She's 120.

So I fucking, I go online and the book is sold out, obviously. And then I go to eBay. I'm looking for the book there, and it's like, you know, the cat ate half of it. You know, my son lit it on fire. It's half this. And I'm like, fuck it. I won't get it.

I tried to get it on audio. I tried to get it on YouTube. Nobody had it on there. And I fucking come here and I'm sitting here. I'm eating last Monday. I'm looking at the show. And I go, maybe that's just a cover that George saved for me from 1993. And I looked at it.

No, it was the book. I guess George re-bought it in like 2000. Yeah. Wow. Holy shit. Look at that. And I took it home last week, man. And I read it like from the beginning.

Shit, I didn't have to read, but I read it. I wanted to grasp this whole fucking thing again. And I finally got to the writing part, you know, to overcome objections, wrong book, Joey. Overcome, you know, slumps and shit like that. Well, it's not overcoming a slump. Let me correct myself. It was more of starting.

Starting it from basics. Now, if you tell me tomorrow, Joey, I'm going to get on stage Thursday night at the bloody rooster, right? I'm going to do an eight-minute spot, right? And you buy the book Tuesday. It's not really going to do anything for you, not as much as when you're doing comedy three years. Now you understand this book, because that's what happened to me. I put it down in the first 90 days because I don't know what they're fucking talking about. I have no idea what they're talking about.

but once you do comedy now they have terms like they even take it to that simple killing bombing like the terms you use is a stand-up which I found interesting but it had this thing on writing like you talk about what you hate and they adjust your attitude

like since I moved here I haven't had the same attitude I had in LA I can feel it yeah because I'm not pissed off in LA every time I made a move I was pissed off about something some fucking Gentile. Some guy bothered me with bad pizza. It was always something every fucking week.

CBD tablets. Whatever the fuck is the... So I lost that attitude. And this book just reminded... And Doug, there was one night I couldn't sleep. I got up and I went right downstairs to the book. I smoked some dope. And I must have gone over and did the exercise for like an hour.

I get on stage at you Saturday night and I felt it. It was the first time I was. wasn't confused on stage. It was the first time in years that I had a actual passage that it didn't get slumpy. Like I would have my 20 minutes ready. But at the 20 minute mark, I'd be pulling old shit out of my hand and trying to make it work. And sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. You know, I did like 38 minutes.

And it was all planned. I threw a couple stories in there just because I was, I wanted to even try them just to get them out. I'm at the 25 minute mark, if they're loving you, that's when you try everything that you don't try on Russians. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. That's when you try everything out of them that you, shit that you want to try.

You already got them. That's it. Who gives a fuck? They're going to giggle because they're in the motion. Right. They're in the motion of ha-ha and breathing. But it was really interesting. I went home that night.

I couldn't sleep just from Saturday night's spot with 140 people. It was just. and this one I got up did my usual writing I had to leave the house go to the gym, PT I had to do something else got home, ate lunch with my wife

and I went right downstairs and started fucking around with this book again and it's what I needed at this time a wise man once said you don't know what you need to you need it right

I didn't know I needed this is but I did I knew I needed to get the comedy you know back on track There was something missing. Even on nights I got lucky a couple nights at the mothership because you're just going with the flow at this point.

That shit wasn't there. And this week, I felt it being there. I saw it, bro. Yeah, I could feel it. I could fucking feel it. I was watching you up there. As soon as you got up there, you bang, boom, boom. You even hit them with a science, bro.

You went science. Yeah, fucking pah. People in the science over here. I just because my attitude, I was going up there like a like a MC. see with no energy. You got to go up there with some energy. Energy is my attitude. Then everything else falls into place. Once I have the energy, then the anger will come about something. And then it's like stealing. So I talked about what pissed me off.

These fucking people telling white people not to come out. Now these poor people and their Teslers with the waterproof battery are stuck in the house because they're pussies. I talked about the two gay guys on New Jersey 12. Whatever. Whatever. But I jumped right. on them, which is at least not even getting, doesn't give them a chance to think, and they can't deal with it. Because most comments come, oh, it was great to be in Virginia last week. You just come out of that fucking gate talking nonsense. And you catch up with it.

The first minute could just be gibberish, nervous gibberish. It's a conversation you would have your grandmother about cutting your toenails. You know what I'm saying? Who gives a fuck? But once that gibberish catches up with everything balances out, out with the fear and everything that's going on. Right. It's smooth sailing after that.

And I didn't find these. I wasn't, yeah, I had good shows, but they weren't, I wasn't leaving it there because there was no energy involved. Was there something that stuck out to you from the book that made you, like, kind of like make a mental note on that? I knew the energy had been fucking low for the last two years. I think it came out one night at the dojo. And I was really happy, but then I didn't know how to tap.

back into it again. This book reminded me, and it's, guys, this is all stupid shit. This is not fucking, remember I went to his seminar. Didn't you go with me? Anthony Robin's seminar one time to try to better ourselves. And at that point, he was hitting the tides you.

If you touch you, it would bring back a memory. I'm not going there with this. But this book, it was just so, for 18 months, this book at one point from like October 93 to June of 95, this book was my, my teddy bat. I would come home at night, you know, in those days, guys, if I went out five nights, I bombed

eight of them. You know what I'm saying? Like, I wish I could tell you, yeah, I was, my percentage was two laps a minute, you know. It was something else, but it wasn't like I was working. It wasn't working. It wasn't like I was just getting on stage one day a week to expect something. I used to work in that.

I was writing every fucking day. And I would go out at night and just bomb at these bars. And I would go on furious, furious with a gram of Coke and a bottle of fat tire. That was my fucking routine when I was pissed. And I would sit there with a gram of Coke. And this is where that book really shocks me. I still remember. I even looked at it.

I was like, oh. I don't want to go there yet. The last 30 pages of the book is all the comedy clubs in the U.S. The year she wrote the book. And that's very interesting to look at and to look at what's left. Like Florida had like 50 comedy clubs. Ron Bennington's club is in the book. You know, Atlanta had eight clubs.

Fucking New York had 20 pages of clubs because they listed Hamburgie Harris. like they listed one-nighters as comedy clubs. They had 10 pages. And I still remember bombing, but going home at night and doing Coke and crying. Like literally, crying. No bullshit. Crying.

And I would circle the clubs. Someday I'm going to work Caroline's. I'm going to show them. I swear to God, guys. That's why when I saw a man on fire, when he gets drunk at night and he starts doing all that, they used to be me on Coke. Yeah.

I'd bang myself in the head. how can you keep bombing? You know, what the fuck? What the fuck is wrong with you? Put the Coke down. Stick to the book. I looked at it last week and I got anxiety. Oh, my God.

Because I would look at that like it was the Bible. Like improv in New York, I was going to do where Pat Benatar started in New York City. Catch a Rising Star. That's the club that was big back then in New York City. both rascals were big ocean and the other one DC had Delaware had 12 comedy clubs

and I remember that that clan they had Fridays and Saturdays and I remember I called them like yeah you're free to come down but you gotta wear a suit of a tie at all our comedy shows and I'm like this is fucking Delaware and I don't even think they sell suits in Delaware you know what I'm saying like I don't know what they sell down there this is when it was different.

But those, the back of that book every night was where I would go, fuck these 28 people that didn't like me tonight. I'll show them. I can't wait to perform at Big Bees in California. I'm going to rock them. They're going to remember me and all that shit. So that's how green I was when I had that book. So when I opened the last few years, like a fucking barricade of emotions.

Yeah. I saw the Rocky apartment where I lived for fucking 8. 18 months, how about Rocky. There was a couch, a love seat, a weightlifting bench, which doubled as a table. Of course. And a desk. It was tremendous. Right.

On a Sony Trinitron, I traded that for a gram of blow. Fuck, yeah. I had nothing. I had one bedroom, and the room was a bed. The bed was so big. There was no dresser in there. Yeah. The door was, I had to take the door off the hinge, and I would just come home at night and

flop onto that bed. girls would go Where do I hang my stuff On the floor Oh my God I'm laughing because I had the same thing I had a huge bed in a little room The fucking rocky apartment and shit

The refrigerator had nothing Not a stick of celery No ham no baloney No mustard That was just fat tire That's the only thing that I've won in there Because I would do a gram of blow With a big or two fat tires

That was my night I had three fat tires A little bottle of vodka I go home and fucking rewrite my comedy history. I'm going to work Caroline. I'm going to add line a whole week. Yeah. Fucking sad.

But that's the passion I had back then. It would make me fucking cry. Yeah. And go, what the fuck? And, you know, again, I've been doing this for 35 years. I consider myself a veteran at this point. You'd think I wouldn't be talking about this. But, man, every once in a while, you go off your course.

That's why I write my goals every 90 days. Because, you know, you find your... self-eating fucking eight grams of mushrooms for three months and go, what the fuck just happened? I got to eat my life. No more mushrooms, Joey. The fuck are you doing? You know, I fall into those, not mushrooms, but I fall.

I've been, you know, for the first two years I was a draft king. That's all I did was Wheel of Fortune. That's my shit. I don't want to play poker. I don't want to see women. I don't want free cocktails. I don't want nobody rubbing my shoulders. I just want to play Wheel of Fortune for a dollar.

And I had to play, like $20 worth it. my wife cut me on no more. Oh, yeah, say they. You're dollaring me to debt with those Wheel of Fortunes, you know what I'm saying. It's all gone because of Wheel of Fortune. All gone because of the Wheel of Fortune. So, you know, there's just books. Like every year I read The War of Art by Frank Pressfield,

whatever's name is. I read that every January. But I got to read it like backwards or listen to a Chinese guy write it now because I think it's already in my system. Yeah. So I don't get as much. read it every year and you get one thing and you're like you know what i'm starting to procrastinate this book is right i'm starting to slip a little bit but i love checking with books or something

and then going back to them and going wow sometimes you get those books and you write those liner notes right you make like little notes i think they call them liner notes like what this page means to you or whatever even looking at those will fucking go wow what was i thinking that night at six in the morning Because I never took a class or read anything. On stand-up. Nothing. That's why it's interesting to me. Like, maybe I should take a look at this shit.

See what it does. I mean, there's classes. There's sterile classes. And then there's, like, workshops. Like, I wasn't into stand-up yet. I was thinking about it. And I saw an ad for a stand-up workshop where they answer your questions, taught you how to do the material, and then you performed.

It was only three weeks. It was very interesting. And then that guy helped me get a job. That guy made sure I got on stage the first time. It was $33, I think, for three weeks. It was fucking dirt cheap, 1991. And I came here in 93 and took a class at the Comedy, New York Comedy Club. And I got one thing from that guy.

It was an eight-week course. He was very good, but he goes, and I forget it now. It was something to do with comedy in the world. And I wrote it down in a notebook. And I always put that on front of all my other notebooks. This was 1993. In 2004, I get called to an audition for an ABC Christmas game show. Who's the head writer to the show?

The dude's comedy class. I took it 1993. At the end of the audition, I went up to them, shook their hands. and I looked at him and I told him what he told me in 93 and he hired me. He goes, you took that class. I go, yeah.

And that's what I took out of that class. I got it written at the house. I'm so fucking old. I forget it now. But we hired me. That's the show when I went on and robbed all the women dresses because they put me in the women's locker room.

So I just started stealing dresses. I go to my little chick's house and she's like, no, motherfucker. He's a size 18 for a few. Fat woman is shit. But it's so weird how that came back. Right. The job paid me $500 for the dad and get rich.

But that comedy class came back. And then I just watched a lot of stand-up. Remember, when I was coming up in comedy, it's like you're going to Google shit. There was no Google. You got to go to your brother's house who's still had encyclopedias in the basement and go downstairs and look up stand-up,

comedians, comedians, you know. And that's how you learn. Now, if you fucking, there's a thousand stand-up books. More of their biographies and the way they talk about their stand-up practices and how it works for them. But there's really nobody telling you from A to Z what to expect. Because think of the first year in comedy, you could sit with me for basically eight hours asking me questions and you'll still go home with questions. I still have questions every day Every day I have a new fucking question

Every day you can't wait to talk to a stand-up comic That's been doing it longer than you So you could run some shit with them Then there's the guys that have ego They're like fuck you guy You're a loser okay Okay But that whole

What you should be thinking In the first 90 days The first year There's no books like that Because okay I'm not dissing Judy Carter I've gotten some great stuff from her, but I've never seen Judy do a set at the improv. But she popped in about a year ago to the improv on the lineup.

And she's out there doing corporate, so I don't know. But again, I want to learn from Bill Burr. You know, I want Bill Burr to do an eight-week course. Not online that you go there. You talk to Bill Burr about a stand-up, how this developed, his plan, the same thing with fucking. in Joe Coy, the same thing with Gabriel, because they're all going to have the same journey as us,

but they all did it a little bit differently, and you've got to admire it. And some of the shit, though, say, you go, you know what? I'm going, you know what? I'm going to start doing that myself. I mean, that's why I envy you because, like, the classes back then, I feel like we're legit. Common class, like, now is different. You got a guy with a fedora in a nose ring, and he's 50 years old,

and he's trying to tell. A tattoo, and he just stand up. He wrote for, you know, this guy, 20,000. He knows everybody. But at the end of the day, he doesn't know Dick. There's a thousand of those guys walking around. And there's a thousand guys that teach a stand-up class that I really don't know. I don't know.

Because I don't know, like, I would love to teach a stand-up class for eight weeks, six weeks, eight guys. We're going to drill it all every week. Every week, we've got to get on stage. You know, so this won't work for the novice. This is not going to work for a person that my friends at work. Burt, tell me I'm funny, and that's not going to work for them. Yeah. They're going to hear it's eight weeks.

It's going to, they're the more like three-week type of people. And they make a big party. Everybody from work comes up. They laugh, they giggle, and her chance to do a stand-up is slim and none after that. Nothing about that. Again, they wanted to overcome the fear of speaking. But if, like for me, it would be like Judy Carter's. If you came in and you were doing it for a year, you're going to pick up.

up some stuff, but the stuff you're going to pick up, you're not ready to pick up for. I don't want to corrupt your mind with the shit from nine years when you're doing comedy one year. You don't need to know about half this shit. It's just going to, you know, make you anxious. No. No? It's going to give you early, like, things. Like, you're going to start walking into an audience and coming back to me going, fuck. There's a lot of old people out there, Joey, no disrespect. So what? They're human beings. But when we're young comics, we pick up different things.

Fuck! They're a bunch of young kids. I can't do comedy in front of young kids. You're already lost. But at the time you get on stage, they heckle you and you fall apart. Because you already went in there losing. Because of what you heard, oh, when you go to PA, fucking, they do this. And then you get up there and you do it and nothing happens.

The guy who was telling you is a fucking loser. That's why. He's a fucking loser. So those things. I don't want to predetermine. I can't think of the word, guys, but it's somewhere in the coconut. I can't predetermine the outcome.

You know, what we do is very high, so I want your percentages to be higher. You know, you could throw, you could shoot a three-foot shot, or you could shoot a layup and draw a foul. That's up to you. I know I could do that. Seven out of ten, take it to the paint and draw a foul.

I can't make no seven threes in a row. So I always want a high percentage shit. We don't play in Fantasyland. Fantasyland is when you're up by 30 and you throw that 30 foot of. But the rest of the game, I'm playing for high percentage shots. So I want your set to be a higher percentage. What makes your set being higher percentage? You took a shower.

You ate dinner. You got dressed. You put on a nice shirt. You know, you went over your material. You got down there. You're at the right. You know, all these things help you. So why are you?

skipping them. Do it all the fucking time. I turn when I take a shower at night to go and do comedy, I'm not even dirty. I take a shower because I'm not Jose Antonio and I'm not dead no more. I'm Joey motherfucking Diaz and we're going to go down there and throw this

motherfucker a beating. Whatever happened to all the rest of the day, that's fine. Dad and Mr. Diaz, can we take a picture? That's great. Now it's D-Day. So I got to go in there thinking differently. So I go in there with wash balls like Joey Dears

lices balls washed. I cut my toenails. I brush my teeth, you know, how Joey Dears would do it, the comic. So it's an all-day preparation, even for a fucking 10-minute spot. At least that's how I was doing it just so you're ready from every fucking angle. Because what we do, again, is very stressful. And we want to be in the best possible fucking scenario.

If that means taking 10 dabs and smoking two joints, bring it on, motherfucker. If that means a beer, bring it on. If that means smoking two camelites, bring it on. I want you to feel best about going up there. We'll worry about your lungs 10 years in when you're on Johnny Carson or whatever, like

Jane Lano, whoever the fuck is on late night. You know what I'm saying? We'll worry about your lungs then. But for right now, if it's making you work, if it makes your process easier, I want you doing it. You need your dick suck? I'll get you an old lady here. I'll suck your dick for small $3.

Don't matter what she looks like, but you're going to get your dick sucked. You're going to blow a load before you go on stage. I can't wait to walk in here. Danny like that way. Can't wait to walk in here and watch Danny. Yes. Some old Spanish Honduran woman from around the corner. She'll tie her dog around the lamppost and come down here and suck your dick.

Dogs barking outside. Danny's groaning. Go back up there and hit him with a shot of Danny's sperm mouth. Oh, forget about it. The poor dog. The dog don't know. It's a milk bone. Ha ha ha. But it's the truth.

Comedy's a high, fucking stressful thing. So you want to hit it from, you want to be tip-top magoo from all locations. You know, when I'm walking around, I hear my toes slipping and sliding and my sneakers, I know that's cheese. All right? You know, that's like that loose cheese.

You went to the gym and got hardened and then you loosened it by walking around the corner. Think of being on stage and you step and you feel that loose cheese. You're not going to be that funny no more. It's like, fuck, I forgot to wash my feet. Now you're concerned with that. Now you're giving them Jesus jokes.

So he should have washed his feet and shit like that. I'm like that, too. I have little things. It's a persona. It's not really a persona. It's a persona to these assholes. Yeah. But it's who you really are.

You want to give them who the fuck you are. So what's the difference? Start from scratch, motherfucker. You got lucky on. underwear, put them on, Danny. If you got those Batman underwear, you won the Spelling Bee in Hong Kong when you were nine, put them on. Guess what?

I got a lady who'll fix them for you. She'll make them to Ralphie Maysize and we'll go backwards. Hey, Uncle Joey here. Listen, football season is heating up, Jack, and every week it feels bigger with Draft Kings. Draft Kings is now live in all 50 states. One app, all the football nationwide. Again, one app, every sport, all 50 states. New Draft King customers sign up now with Code Joey.

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I love it. Have a great week. Love you, Blue Choo. Danny Brough and Batman underwear is a crazy sight. The truth, man. So you were making fun of me with that Batman suit before. Oh, yeah.

You're playing GTA with your friends. Wear those suits with your friends. Don't wear them around me. You got nice friends that want to chase you? It was hilarious. Everybody's like, oh, everybody's having a good time. You come in.

Oh, nice fucking tight suit. Yeah, what the fuck? That's the first thing I see. A Spanish guy with a tight suit on. What's next? A parade? What's coming out of here? It's really weird that this is just a coincidence,

but Pedro pretty much grew up in the same time I grew up in. Only 30 years later. And that's been really tugging at me since I met you that. First of all, that you got into stand-up comedy. Because nobody I grew up with North Bergen got into stand-up comedy, and 22 people should have. Because I always tell people, this is where they breed, Naturally funny fucking people.

This ain't no cut. This is nothing. These people talk unfiltered. The shit they come up with is unfiltered. And it's the funny, even if they're mad at you, and they're yelling, you're fucking how it's still funny. Because how they're making the delivery, you know? Yeah.

And that's why a couple weeks ago I asked you like, how did you get into stand-up? Then you're like, well, I bossed around, I bumped into you or whatever the fuck you was saying to make me feel bad. No, no. Just teasing. Just teasing you.

But it just It fucking baffles me That we got two kids. When did you graduate high school? 2009. 2009 and 82. I should have graduated in 82. Should have graduated in 81 if I didn't get left back.

But, you know, things happen along the way. When you're an idiot, you're an idiot. You know what I'm saying? We were almost, you know, yeah, 27 years apart, right? Yeah. Like that. And how was it growing up for you? Spanish kid, North Bergen,

in the late 90s, early 2000s. I was the oldest, a three. So I was always out in the, you know, walk to school, walk back, walk my little sister to school, walk her back.

It was, it was all right, man. I wasn't, but I wasn't, I was very, like, shy and shit. Like, so my parents were always working. I was raised by my grandmother,

mostly. I was always with her. So I'm a grandma. boy and uh so she always taught me to be nice and shit like that so like i was always a nice that's i level my like you know but when you're a nice kid bro you can't be too nice you can't be too nice when you're a nice kid and you you live in a town like north bergen you know you get you know it gets a little retaliate so by the time i was 12 i started swinging yeah yeah yeah so it was like that. So I was always very timid. I was a very timid kid. Quiet. I like video games and shit.

I love comedy. I love comedy central, but nobody talked about it. I wasn't in class and everybody was like, everybody was just talking about the new dip set song. A bunch of hoodlums, bro. It was just a bunch of hood kids when I was growing up. And one day this kid, I remember, I remember what everything changed from me. Because I was timid, I was like, I don't know. I didn't want nothing. And then when I was 12 years old, I had a fake tooth, right? This kid goes, oh, I'm going to chip the other one. And I did something. to me, man. I don't know. It got me so mad. I said, okay, after school. And I, after lunchtime, and what you can call? Long story short, we're at the Paizano's. I don't know if you, it's a,

it's the pizzerie on 83rd Kennedy. It was called Paizanos at the time. I'm there waiting in front of eating my chicken tenders. He's there like a cool kid. Fuck out. Hook off, bro. Long story short, they take it to the principal's office. The principal's office is like, I guess he had a scratch here. The principal goes, hey, Pedro, you can't. You can't. Can't be scratching kids. Can't be scratching kids in the face. I was like, no, no, no, bro. I punched them in the fucking face.

I was like, let's get in the scratch nobody. And they all laughed and let me go, bro. But since then, bro, I've just, I've always been like, always, what I did show aggressiveness was on the football. I play football. That's where I showed aggressiveness. But in, I got school and shit, it would be fucking quiet. Quietly, bro.

Yeah, yeah. I was very quiet kid. But once from there. Did you have favorite teachers growing up over there? In the high school, that touched you, like, in a way, you know, not. Touch your dick, but... Yeah, I forgot his name. He was a head coach for...

I had two teachers. I had one teacher, a history teacher. I forgot out his name. Big fat dude, bro. He always, like, his pants were always ripped. Ripped. Yeah, when you sit down, you always saw his underwear and shit. Nobody ever said nothing because he was cool.

You just let him rock. But he would always pull me aside, and he'd always go, Pedro, stop hanging out with these hoodlums. He's like, you're not them. You're not them. and he was really nice to me. He'd always give me a little advice to stay, like,

because I would always have these, like, friends that, like, you know, they're already fucking snorting and shit like that. I didn't start doing any of that stuff until later on. But, like, he was like, I didn't really have a lot of people to, except for my pops. The only reason is because the only reason I didn't do crazy shit when I wanted to is because I know dude,

I'm not trying to get that left hook, bro. And he hits. Ooh, brother, I remember he jabbed me, bro. one time, bro, it numb my whole face. Because we were playfying and, you know. You're in parents, oh, yeah. Like, they're at a bar and shit like that. Yeah.

I always felt that, I don't know, I moved here from New York City. We're living on 88th Street. And I already knew this area. Like, I was big in Union City. Like, my mom had the bar there from the late 50s. She was established. And I grew up into that. And when my father died, we owned a house.

across from Robert Waters like a little up from 29th and Central. There used to be a bar on 29th and Central and my mother's was 29th in Bergen line. I didn't know anything about North Bergen. I didn't know anything. She just told me one day we bought a house. We came over, looked at it and, you know,

the only thing that impressed me and had a bedet. My mother's bathroom had a bidet and I had my own bedroom and had an attic. But besides that, I didn't think much of the area. I was New York City boy. What am I doing out of here?

As they called them farmers. They called Jersey people farmers, you know. And I went to school maybe for a semester in Kearney while I lived there. On the weekends, I go to Union City or my godmother's in the city. So I didn't know anybody in North Perkins. I just lived on giving that terrorist. Yeah. That's it.

It was just Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. And I went back to school. Then going into the sixth grade, was when they threw me out. And I had to go out into North Bergen. I wasn't too happy. My mother said, you got to go out. You got to get out of here.

Can't sit in this house all day, dicking around. Go make some friends. Until this day, I think as that day, one of my highlights in my life. There was a fight, and the fucking cops came, and the kid's parent got beat up by the cop. It was fucking shit, and I'm like, how did I end up here?

Like, this is insane. and then the cop asked me to come home and that was a complete different story and it was like you know I went to that thing for North Bergen a few weeks ago and I bumped into Jackie Kennel I brought it up to him

you were my first friend in North Bergen like you were the guy that said come up to the projects and let me show you North Bergen's Wildside and then I met you know Chickarelli's family Marguerite

and Fernie Basuto and Roger Holloway, because they all played for Lincoln school, you know. And what I remember in those days in North Bergen was, I wasn't on the top of anybody's list, but the people I were messing around with in those days, the adults were all very fucking straight-up people. They were blue-collar. They were very working class,

and they enjoyed that time off. You know, like the summers where I grew up down there, there was always barbecues, and there was things going on. at the park and, you know, it was a festive neighborhood. It was very festive for me. Then I saw behind the curtain down there, and it was like, wow, this is like my life in Union City.

This is criminals and politicians and fucking people with guns and shit. But the whole time I was happy to be in Northburg. And I remember when I was in high school, my freshman year, I was pretty happy to be in North like, I'm like, this is fucking cool. It's fun living there, bro. It was fun in those days. And then going into sophomore, yeah, I met George at summer school. That summer of 79.

And then 79 came and my mother died. And you don't know it while it's happening. I didn't know it, man. I was so blinded by the death that thinking back, I had such great support. Listen, this could have gone in any way. This could have gone any fucking way, guys. And it didn't because the people I was with at the time were fucking A-listers. You know, people, Brad Pitt, they're not A-Listers.

They just make movies and get a lot of money. I'm talking about A-listers in life. These are people with no motive who want to help you. And in 1970, it was a lot of different helping a Cuban kid than it was in 2000, North Pergin. There were a couple Cuban kids that flourish. The rest of them, they put you in cafeteria. with the rest of the Spanish kids with pointy shoes and mea-meida and all that stuff. You know, some other people, and I got to be honest with you, that's what, that strength that they

gave me after my mother died, that'll go with me forever. Like Mr. Taranova was a teacher at the high school dog. Mr. Barone drove me home. My mother died. I went to school the next day. He found out. He's like, come on, you got to get out of class. Go home.

And he drove me home. Like, that guy I'm still tight with. 40 years fucking later. These people all played George, George's family. These people all played a piece in my life when nothing should have been going right.

People have said, fuck him, his mother died, you what are you going to do? Let them go fucking hang out on the street or something like that, whatever. They didn't. And I saw close to 100 people

fucking go out of that way for me in those days. It's like that, especially when you play sports, and stuff like that when you're in the system like that. So people look out for you, North Bergen. It wasn't even the sports because I wasn't playing the sport.

Yeah. When you play football, that's when the ocean's part for you. Everything else is a little on the shady side, you know, like basketball. Still great programs, great guys, great coaches. You know, one of the things that always got me was when I was a freshman, they played at the Meadowlands, my high school. And they played East Orange. No.

Something in Bayonne, Snyder. They played Snyder. As Jersey City, yeah. They played Snyder. And I don't know if I get in there early. I was a freshman. I had a crush on one of the girls. I was a cheerleader.

So I'm up front trying to giggle with her and shit. And I'm looking at the size of the Snyder guys that came out. And then I'm looking at the North Bergen guys. And I'm like, this ain't going to happen. You know, Snyder had these big elite, you know, like six for two black dudes and had like a man build. They had Hershal Walker at the time. Was another one? The guy that played for, and then he went to the Vikings in college and he intercepted on Monday Night Football.

Not sure. But it's... Yeah, he played on Monday Night Football for Minnesota Vikings. Walker Lee Ashley. Walker Lee Ashley. And he was six-foot-fucking five, 260 as a linebacker. That's bigger than anybody from North Berger at the time. And these guys from Nutberger went in there and slacked them like seven to six.

Kept it simple. They beat them. I remember looking like at these guys, none of them was over five foot nine. Brother. They were all small and compact. Those brick-mason-type Italian dudes, Ovillo, Capuzo. They all had those fucking names. And I'm believing they're going, wow, this is real.

These fucking kids, these kids got something. And then I started calling it. They called it heart. You know, just this heart you had to have, especially if you were from here. Yeah. You got to have this heart, this heart. And I'm like, I ain't got that type of heart, you know, like when you, but I ended up having that type of heart.

That's the heart, you know. You just don't give up and don't take no for an answer. And don't go home and beat up. That's it. Also the three nose that you never do, you know. And it just built this weird character. Even when I was a thief and a criminal, I still had a little bit of character. You know, I didn't steal mom's diamonds.

Yeah. Lai. Anyway. But it's just weird that I was really, until this day, I'm very inspired by half my battle in L.A. was not to come back here. The people that raised me, you don't come back to them as a loser. No. You don't come back to them.

is a loser. I went that way and you all got to be gay. You come back with something on your arm like a bird and they'll go, okay. You don't have to bring the whole city back, but you came back with something. I wasn't raised to come back and say nothing to happen. I gave it my All North Bergen because anybody knows my All North Bergen is supposed to be 100%. Yeah. If I don't make it, I got to blow up the town with bombs.

I got to leave throwing grenades. Everybody got to die. Like GTA, when I pick the bombs, I blow myself up. Oh, no. I'm the only guy that throws bombs. Then I blow my side. I commit suicide on GTA. I got a psychiatrist on GTA.

I commit suicide so much. When I take the... Because you're hitting him at the floor right in front of you. I aim at the floor and it shoots me right back on the face like a fucking idiot. I got a psychiatrist on GTA 5. Do you? Yeah, she pops out. Every time I get killed.

Every time I commit suicide. What does it say? What does she say? Are you okay? No, I'm dead. What the fuck am I okay? And I killed myself. I need advice now.

Where were you 20 minutes ago? Before I shot the grenade, you dirty bitch. We got to do a training class, brother. Wow. Where we're a GTA with a shooting, with a shooting course. Oh, do they have one on Gtta? Yeah, man. I got to show you how to roll.

I got to show you how to hide. I got up early tomorrow. I got to come back up here tomorrow at 10. Word. It's just so weird that's really intrigued me about our relationship. But at the end, we both came out. And I'm surprised. There's a stand-up coming up.

got him off-pergin. We weren't. This was the only problem I didn't like about North Perrigan. Like, my guy, this council's name is Mr. Lungano. If I ever saw him again, I'd beat the fuck out of him. Because they didn't really open my eyes.

You know what he never opened my eyes to? What George got his eyes open to art. Yeah. I'm not a fucking art collector. I don't know what I'm looking at half the time. But I know I could sit and stare at it like a fucking retard. Yeah. It must do something to me.

Does it move you, Joey? No, it doesn't move me, you fucking idiot. But you look at it and you're intrigued by it. You got this guy figure this out. Like in North Berger when I was growing up, they had the gourmet club. That was a hell of a club. One Sunday a month, you got to be a junior or a senior. And you got on a bus in North Berger, they took it to a restaurant in New York.

And you had to go to somebody's house to discuss the restaurant. The year I did it, we lasted three trips, and that was it. because they allowed sophomores and the sophomores were buckwild. So we would go back to the houses and have the, like some guy lived in Guttenberg. So in those days, the liquor store in Guttenberg

delivered. So we would order delivery beer and shit. And the teachers were in. I'm like, what the fuck? And also we'd come in with a case of nips and a bottle of jack. And I still remember the kid. We were in his basement.

This guy was a teacher with his family upstairs, watching 60 minutes. We're still in his base. basement drinking from 2 o'clock because we went to get lunch in the city we got back to his house at three we ordered beer and started fucking listen to the music on his stereo he's upstairs with his three kids he didn't even ask us when are you guys going to leave because he knew it's not gonna happen it's not gonna fucking happen then years later he gave me his number to gamble I own

I only $10,000 Mr. Pallute God rest is sold damn that's you remind with it with what we're talking you reminded me of when you were saying how we started comedy and you remind me I always like making people laugh bro. So I'm about making people like my dad would be pissed sometimes at work like just be mad for some fucking reason to be the couch I fucking

hated that so sometimes I'd fucking like I'll put like elbow pads and knee pads and I put a bandana and I act like a rustling and say some stupid shit. And you come in the charge of you. I go ah! And he'd start cracking up and I'm like and that would make me feel good and shit. Making my friends laugh and shit like when I told you like when you said

something stupid, everybody raised their hand and then, bah, blah, bah, punch. When you make everybody laugh, nobody raised their hand. Oh, yeah. I'd go home happy. Something about that. Like, I didn't know what a punch line was, but I kind of understood the timing of it,

just watching comedy. And I'd be proud of myself if I hit one. It's a weird feeling. Again, we didn't come from a background to that. No. It's not like when I was a kid, George would call me on a Friday and go, Hey, I got eight quailers and an eight ball of Coke.

Would you rather go to bananas and watch a comedy show? Yeah, let's stop on the drugs and go to bananas and see some fucking idiot. This is, and we grew up here in bananas. When I was growing up, bananas was big. Like I heard about it, but I had no interest in it. But I remember that I would go to, what was the Jap restaurant, Fairview? Mr. Fuji. Mount Fuji

And on the paper, every Thursday in the entertainment section of the dispatch or the Jersey Journal, they would have two steak and shrimp platters 1595 also gives you $5 off at Bananas Comedy Club with the coupon.

And I would go, fuck, the scam was great. $14.99, that was the best meal you could get. And $20 when you were a kid, it's tough to get your hands on. But if you got a bitch, you slinger in there in high school. You couldn't drink,

but they made you a little strawberry. Dacarees? Like, dafferies or no alcohol? You thought you were Johnny bananas in that bitch, you know what I'm saying? You're like, yeah, this is dropping names. Yeah, no, no, it was tremendous. Yeah?

Mr. Fuji was great, right, right by the fucking, that strip mall there on Fairview, and whatever the fuck, George will tell you better. But that was never, I never went to see stand up in New York City. No. I remember like during the proms and shit,

they would ask you, we're gonna go over and see a comedy, but I don't want to see no fucking comedy club. I can't get to Coke. I don't want to sit there and talk because some guys up there talking. So I never dreamt of going to a comedy club or nothing. Like they didn't,

you know, when I got into comedy, it was very blindsided. Yeah. I went, my roommate at the time. I did not know I was going to jail. At the time, I had the case up in the air. and he asked me to go see that comic from Boston

at some place in Boulder and I went with him. I was like, this is fucking neat. Like, I listened to Pryor and I had listened to, you know, the greats, the other guy, the white dude. But seeing it live was pretty fucking cool. And then I got locked up.

And all that comedy shit was thrown in me in prison. And when I get out, I'm in the halfway house, but I'm kind of staying with him. And he goes, guess what I won? Tickets to go. go see that comedian again. Do you want to go see him? I wasn't even thinking of doing stand-up.

I was kind of on the fence, and I went with him on the way out. He goes, what do you think? Are you going to be that funny? And I go, no, he didn't write a joke from two years ago. He's had the same material. I go, if I'm a comic, I'll never do that. And I didn't even have comedy on the radar.

There was no books. There was nothing. I hadn't already just known what I would do if I was a comic, because even then, I knew that every day my life is different, and you could cry to joke about it. We're just lazy about it, but if we really look at our day,

there's a joke in there every fucking day. So how are you going to show up here a year later with no fucking new material? I can't look you in the fucking face. You're still telling me a joke about your grandmother's sandal? Something happened in a year and a half, you know? So I went to see him, and I...

It wasn't like North Bergen taught me anything. I took intro to performing arts. It was improv and stage hand and something else. You did that for 90 days. Then you rotated to something else. And I won first place in the improv my freshman year. I sang Shattered up on stage after Mick Jagger sang it on Saturday Live. I said, fuck it.

I could do that too like Mick Jagger. And I won first place. And then, you know, I mean, I didn't take it seriously. I didn't know what the fuck was going to happen. but North Bergen was never on my site. There was never stand-up comedy. I never told George. George and I would talk about movies.

How to get into movies. It was never about stand-up comedy. It's just, it's just why I'm interested how it came into your fucking world because I didn't even get into it until I left here. And then I couldn't tell my friends because when I would come back, they'd take me the comedy shows.

And on the way back, they would just go, dog, you got to quit. You know, you're the worst one there tonight, dog. That's why I didn't tell nobody to come watching. Yeah, you can't invite him. They'll tell you, I don't know. I had that one time because they forced to us. And George would leave.

That's how bad I would do. I'll be on stage and Georgia disappear. I come off. Where's my friend? I don't know. He left here with an umbrella and a black Amanams. You know, he just took off. We don't know what happened to him.

Oh, no. That's the worst. When you see you're saying, you're on stage, and you see your friends on the corner, they're just like this. trying not to make eye contact with you it was really weird because for me i got into it 91 never said none came back in 93 while i was here somebody said there's a comedy room on 69th and bergen line the old restaurant up there you were away risottoes or whatever the fuck it was to descos

and i went up there and did a spot gonzo and then my friends came and they're like oh you got to quit you're not funny and then I would do the New York Comedy Club and all that shit and then they got supportive but they were like he's gonna quit once he gets a good bag of Coke and it wasn't until I got the longest yard and Georgie got me a newspaper article with James Haig with Jimmy Haig and that's the first time people actually from North Bergen reached out to me on the side

nobody said like we always knew you had it in you nothing like that they were like hey man we're proud of you You know, there was a lot of people talking shit, but the other half were, like, we're all in. We can't believe you got to this place. And I felt a little comfortable, you know. But again, I wish more standards to come from North Pergin in this area.

This is a lot of naturally funny people. I feel like most of my friends, like the people I grew up with, like especially my best friend, I think he's way funny than me. I think he's hilarious, but he never would do it. I've told him a long time ago, like when we were kids, I remember telling him, like, oh, you should try it out. I just never did it.

And now I'm like, I'm like, and I still talk to him. I have a conversation. He fucking cracks me up, bro. He still fights. It's an amazing, like, yeah, you know what you could do with this. They don't even know what they're doing. They have no idea that you're on the other line, howling. Yeah.

They have no idea. It's really weird when somebody doesn't know they're funny and they're talking to you, like Carly. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Callie moves around me. I just sit there and watch her, like, want a bar or something. I just sit and watch. I just laugh.

I don't know. She moves. She's sleek. There's some people or the other Egyptian, the Israeli girl down there. She's another one.

She's a cartoon. She's going to take her two years to get everything together for stand-up. Yeah. She's a walking or. You know a little or. Little Ormash.

She's a fucking cartoon. You know, you see these people and you're like, it's just a matter of time. It's not going to be long. before somebody sees what I'm saying and gonna throw them a shit load of money and go hey this is what's going on

you know so I mean yeah that's it uh carly's very funny like naturally dry yeah dry humor yeah I laugh on the phone with us and I'm like

what the fuck did she just say and some people those people don't know it and it's good that they don't know it right leave them like that you don't want them to know it because that's another thing like when you go to those am I the funniest at work contest you know and all these guys show

and they go on stage you see the difference between jokes and bringing them on stage you know what I'm saying like yeah you're funny here when we eat you're funny here you giggle on George you make fun of Danny and me

but now I'm putting you in a situation and now you're trying to sell Danny and me you can't do it you're not that good so all those visuals are lost because they just don't know how to bring them to life yet. Yeah. You know, but that's a complete different other fucking bag of worms. But it's great that you kind of saw, like now, you got a lot of North Bergen support.

Because like my brother's called me and said, bro, I didn't know you got Pedro with you. And now it's a different thing. I mean, they're telling me to change the name, two Cubans from North Bergen or something like that. Fuck, yeah. But it was always interesting When I met you But I didn't know the specifics Like where you grew up

Yeah What grammar school did you go to? I went to Horace man bro Oh shit On 82nd and Kennedy So where did you grow up exactly 73rd 73rd Kennedy that was my house

So I grew up I grew up down the street in Dane Court There was some kids that I skateboard And I played basketball That I used to hang out with when I was a kid And then I going to high school I met some other kids growing up And then from there

I started hanging out with like my, you know, my home, like, I met my best friend when I was like 10 years old, and then we linked back up in high school like that. And then we started hanging with him, and that's when we started fucking party and going out and shit getting fucked up, bro. I don't know. Right now, the only story I could think about was one time we took some shit that I didn't know what the hell it was, but it kind of made you hallucinate, and we smoked a blunt.

And we ended up in Burger King on 91st and Bergen line. And I hallucinated that my baseball coach was there. So I fucking freaked down and ran out of it. And then it was just, it was a wild. Growing up in North Berdinger was wild, especially like with the kids I grew up with. Especially we had a, we had a friend from Fairview. His parents had money. So he had a car and he always had a great goose bottle of vodka.

So we'd put that in Gatorade, put in a water bottle, go to Hoboken and walk around and just be drunk kids. One time we went to Johnny Rockets. We were there. We had girls in our table. Being cool, some kid was, I guess he talks shit to my boy. And I, you know, the burden kids, we all rowed up. We were about a fight in Johnny Rockets, a bunch of 16-year-olds. White people were like this, grabbing their kids running out.

It was like 8 o'clock. You know, it's so weird. You were talking about the Burger King on 91st Street. We were on a tear one night. Me and this kid, Darren Riegel, God bless his soul. A couple of us. But we started at that Burger King. That's where my friend put his dick in some guy's hand

while they were waiting online and we fucking died and then we ran down the corner and we tried to order Burger King but we didn't have a car they said go through the drive-thru so I went to the drive-thru ladies yelling at me

and Darren goes put your dick on the counter and I put my dick on the counter I'm like lady come out of here and look at he's like you're uncircumcised it looks like a Cuban egg roll that's what we got the name and then right in that mall you walk to the corner

there's a Dunkin Donuts and that's the Dunkin Donuts where you, we take your dick out and walk in and put your dick on the glass and ask the lady for crumpets. And when she would bend down, she'd look into the glass and start yelling at you and shit,

get out of here, you fucking pervert, motherfucker. We were, you know, we were kids, man. 14, 15, we didn't know any fucking better. We had tons of those nights where, listen, man, I always go back to this. My mom died when I was 15, and I last on those streets. I was 19.

And in four years, I probably had five bad nights because my friends would let make me laugh so hard that everything would go away. And some nights, I just went from them to getting so ham and I just passed out. So I'd bypass that whole hour before you go to sleep pain. Yeah. When you realize shit, fuck, I'm home. My mother still never came home. It's been a year. You know, so I always reflect on that time in my life.

I laugh so much those years. I can't even, I always used to tell people, listen, I know I got a thousand stories that I could tell. I got 3,000. I cannot repeat. Every once in a while, I'll slip one and change a name, but it's not what I want to do. And I can't describe how many nights I went out

and Brenner's is going to be at the dojo, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, week. And me and Brett became friends when I at the comedy store 20 years ago. He was talking about growing up in North Jersey, how there was always that one kid that wouldn't go home. If you came back out at three, that one kid was still hanging out. That was me. Why would I go home? I had no parents. I stayed with nice people, but they didn't know what time I got in and left, you know? And that just to me right there. Like I left just to, just to, the antics, the adventures. Like I said, there was some hard nights robbing people that are looking for you. You got to get a hotel in Newark or something like that. But besides that, I laughed the whole fucking time.

And then I became a criminal. And that was the other side of it. That's when I was losing these people one day at a time with my behavior. They would get a complaint that you can only love Pedro so much when you're getting the call about Pedro every fucking day. Listen, bro. Pedro went to Union City and threw a ball at the bartender. Bro, they're talking about Pedro.

He robbed some guys out. That was my life. And I had a deal with it every fucking day, you know. And I couldn't do any of this if it wasn't for the basic training that I got in North Bergen and Jersey. And one of those guys, I'm very grateful where I was raised, where I was born, where I was brought up. Listen, when I come up here on Mondays, I don't even take the routine. no more because I don't want to see my neighbor. Like when I'm driving in North Bergen, I always go,

what if somebody was sitting next to me? And I got to explain these buildings that look like fucking Jesus bombed them 2,000 years ago. You know, plus that, if you, as soon as we get off Route 3, whatever, to go north to come here, I got a story on every block that I could tell you and you'll fucking die. Especially living down there where there were not that many stories. But we had them.

So now I usually come to George Washington way So you have to remember that shit happen Sometimes I go home that way And that scares me because I look at those streets And there's not a kid on them And I know for a fact, 40 years ago We were out there Monday night football, are you fucking crazy?

We were out there trying to sneak into a bar And if not we find bars to go eat free food Because they give you like meatballs up at the ground round or something that the spaghetti wagon in Jersey City, you were out. I was out every night. Like, I don't know. Tuesday nights, Jersey City, McSalties,

there was a bar that we'd go because they'd have 60 cents. Mugs of beer and 60-cent cocktails from 8 to 10. Listen, at 10-01, the place was empty. You could see a cockroach walking by himself. Wednesday night had all you could drink. And some other. Shalelyles.

Shalelys. Jersey City. And he was banging on Tuesday night. Thursday, up here, Wednesday, we go to Nyack. You know, a bucket of beer for a dollar, a Budweiser bottles. We go up there on an eight ball and just sit at the fucking table and snorting until they threw us out. Green Rock, Holbrookin, dollar beer nights on Tuesdays. This was when we were doing all this shit, Hoboken was still dead.

It was old people waiting for Sinatra to make a comeback. Hoboken was popping when I was going out, dude. And no, and then when I came back at 93, Hoboken. was really popular. I'm like, this is fucking oboken. Yeah. This is oboken, you know.

But I'm very grateful of what the things I learned in North Perrigan, the associations I made here, how I made them, how my friendships went down over the years. I mean,

there's still kids I talked to from 1979. That, for me, is more than money or success. That's real success. I can still call these guys up. and go, hey, man, what's going on? I love you.

I didn't forget about you. You know, these people I call my brothers and my sisters, I've been running with them since I was 15. And they were there when I was back, Coco. So now they've got to be there when good Coco's around. Right. They were there when there when there was no movies. They were there when there was no longest yard.

There was no stand-up. They were there. So now I feel really proud that I starve in my life. And, yeah, North Bergen weighs on me every day. I'm grateful. I'm grateful. Like I'm grateful like was I grew up the way. Grates.

Like I wouldn't have grown up anywhere else and made it if it wasn't North Bergen, you know? I give a lot of credit to my pops too because he was my coach and he didn't treat me like a son, bro. Bro, I got cut, bro. My first All-Star team when I was 10 years old, I don't know if I remember if I told you. Yeah, he thought. 10 years old, bro, my first try. He wasn't the high school coach. No.

No, no. He was coached little bit. But he cut me, bro. Send me home walking. I'm never going to forget that. And I thought to myself, I was like, bad, I'm going to get good. But shit like that, he'd bench me too. When I did bad on the bench, get some other kid played.

Bro, because of that, I dealt with, like, rejection, but like, in a good way. In a good way. In a good way. And North Bergen was the same way. I'm glad I grew up like that because I could have grew up fucking everything nice and stuff. But my dad makes sure, like, no, you know what rejection feels like. It was the same way. Yeah.

I mean, you know, 50% of stand-up. his rejection. Yeah. And the other 40s learning how to deal with it. Either you can live in it and move on and go, fuck him.

I'll show him in two years or you can just give up and live in it. And that's why I think a lot of people do. Anything else in life, bro, before I became a stand-up, how many things that I try?

You know, I tried everything. I tried being a dancer, a bongo play, you know, no, but you know what I mean. I did everything. And I landed on this because it worked for me. But it was also a support I had, you know.

My wife is Aces. I couldn't have done shit without her. But that's later on. But I still think of what these people did for me. My nephew, Nick, I used to sleep in his uncle's fucking balcony. When I come here, visit in the winter, I would just say, I can sleep on your balcony. I got a fucking sleeping bag.

And it takes a village to raise a child, you know, like they say so. I'm happy a part of this now. What are you? I'm happy to be here, brother. What are your fucking stand-up goals for the next year, Tarzan? Develop an hour. That's it.

That's it. Develop a good hour. Develop a solid hour. I'm in the same boat as you. So whether you're doing comedy eight years or 35 years, we've still got fucking problems. Yeah.

Like everywhere else. Where are you at this week? Are you with me Wednesday? I'm with you at Brooklyn. Thursday, I'll be at Pet Shop in Jersey City. And then Friday, I'll be at Westside Comedy Club, New York City. Well, I'm happy about that.

We're putting up the pre-podcast. I put them up on Patreon since I got that kicking again, stop by and say hello. I got the 20th to 30th with my man in Brooklyn. Next week I got shit, and then I take it back to Austin. And then November's when we really pack up. We've got Chicago Theater, November 5th, Riverside Theater, in Milwaukee, November 7th.

get your tickets, they're still available. I've got Thanksgiving at Parks Casino the night before Thanksgiving. That's always been a staple. Danny Braff will be here for that one. He's on the show with us, so that's how we do it, guys. Nice and easy, one step at a motherfucking time. I'm looking better.

I'm feeling better. I'm drinking my water. Pedro's my coach. Let's do it. We're all working for the same village. I got a podcast, a peptide girl coming on next week. One of my favorites. I can't wait.

have her on, have a real guest for Pedro to torture. And that's it and that's that, motherfucker. See you guys next week. Same bad time. Same bad channel. Love you. Stay black. Tell me you love him.

Love you. Love you. Peace.