Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - The beginning of a new chapter

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

Joey Diaz and Lee Syatt talk about Lee's time at The Saratoga Comedy Festival, Joey's most recent car accident and the construction workers who came to his aid and the 9/11 memorial he went to and why it was so important to him.  Lee and Joey also make an announcement about the future of the podcast and what it means for both of them. Find Lee at LeeSyatt.com and on all social media @LeeSyatt Show notes: Download the DraftKings Super app now. New customers sign up with code JOEY & spend $5 to get $200 in rewards within 21 days @ https://www.draftkings.com/mobileapps Buy 2 months of BlueChew Gold, get your 3rd month FREE, plus an additional 10% off and free overnight shipping on your first order with promo code JOEY @ https://bluechew.com/ See the reviews & see if BetterHelp is right for you. Sign up & get 10% off at https://www.betterhelp.com/DIAZ

Kick this motherfucker at the elite. What's up, you bad motherfuckers? Uncle Joey here. It's Tuesday, September 15th. The halfway mark is the church of what's happening now. New edition. I'm here with my main man, Johnny Hitler, fresh off the Saratoga Comedy Circuit.

He's like one of those dogs up there. You know what I'm saying? Was the dog track open? No, that horse track is open like three weeks a year. Wow. At least that's good. You make a part of that. Let's go to the track at four.

Yeah, that would have been fun. Clam chowder. How was the Saratoga Comedy Festival? It was great. It was a lot of fun. I had a lot of fun with other comics. All of our guys were there. Danny Braff was there. Pedro was there.

Tim Rager from Uncle Vinnie's was there. I got to see, I learned a lot. I got to see Bobby Kelly, who's one of my favorites. A couple people from Austin. It was a lot. It's like one of the first times I've been asked, the second time I've been asked to do a festival. So just, it was just very cool.

to do. I've been I love that. I don't know. I'm sure this happened to you when you were doing, when you were starting. I've gone up to Saratoga probably 15 times in the last three or four years. So like I know the area a little bit. I know the good restaurants. The people are sweethearts. You know where the

meat is. Oh, trust me. Yeah. Oh, I know where the horses that lose are. Yeah. That was the food's not great. You know, everything. But it was, um, it was a lot of fun, dude. It was, I heard you had of a wild and exciting night last night.

Yeah, but let's get back to the second question. Because this is the most important thing when you do those. You know, and some people like, well, it was, the experience was mind blogger. And some people like, I'll never do it again. So it's interesting what you learned. Like you just said that you watched Danny Kelly and Kylie Canane and Bobby Kelly. I'm sorry. It was them, it's to see the difference, you know, because they were, they were like,

Newer comics there that I've done it for a little bit longer then. But then to see, like Bobby Kelly, his show pretty much ended the festival. And just to see how he starts off with crowdwork and how he weaving and out and just basically the confidence. So for me, there was a few people I got to see. A few of the bigger shows I went to go watch.

I learned, I learned a lot about putting a show together. A set, like a 45 minutes set? No, well, I meant like producing. Producing a show, like what you need, the lineups. And then, yeah, building a set too. I was actually, I was thinking about that. Because, like, I had an epiphany about one of my jokes.

I'm like, why am I doing it in this order? It doesn't make sense in that order. And I got, I did, I had a, I did three shows. Some of them had more people than others. but it was fun. We were talking about this a couple weeks ago, I think, about people who, like, get all high and mighty about doing a show for, like, five people.

I had two shows with about five people, and there were some of my favorite shows I've had in a lot. They were great. We do Wednesdays at the dojo for 40 people, and it's like you're at the garden. Yeah, yeah. It lets you connect a little bit more with them. There's least people.

There's less energy in the room because there's, you know, you're working with 40 people. So it's a harder draw, But once you get on a roll, it's a different type of role. 40 is where I learned at the store. That's, you know, that's why I remember being going up at the store like any other young common. I went down there and there was nothing, you know, there was eight people. And fuck, first off, like Brian Holstree went telling me, he goes, you don't, you don't want to do your set at midnight for six people?

Put a sign outside. You're going to get 300 signatures to be you. Now, you don't want to do it. And that made a lot of sense. and that's why I really learned how to work small crowds into big crowds. That's why whenever I go to the mothership or that's why we all fell in love with that room in Pasadena. Oh, the ice house. The ice house, the little room.

We could have done shows in the big room. But the way to learn this little style of comedy, because you're always doing 200-seaters. It's nice to get back to reality and see what it feels like to work a room with 50 people. I like it when they don't even know you were going to show up. Yeah. And you go up and you don't even know you were going to show up. The difference is no one's, perhaps some people are excited, but if you show up a place,

the people like, oh my God, Joey's here. But the whole thing I'm getting to is like those little room, like I love the belly room. The belly room till this day is where I became a full-fledged comedian. And it happened December of 99. After eight years of doing comedy, a wind got blown up my ass, They left the door open.

And that was the first time I was slowed down. There were a small audience. And I had all the time in the world because you're used to looking at the clock at the comedy store, you know, 18 minutes. You don't want to run over. You want to be professional. Right. And that was the first time. I remember leaving that stage that night.

And there was like a little after party. A bunch of my friends were there. My ex-girlfriend was there. This was way before Terry. And I remember that out of all the nights, I didn't get high that night. Wow. Because it was so overwhelming what I took. from the stage.

But anyway. You know, but you didn't need to get it. Like, you were just so happy. I was so fucking happy that I kicked the wall down. But I learned not to rush. Yeah. To slow it to fuck down. Let them hear your word and absorb it.

And then you start learning backwards. This all happened at the nine-year level. Right. So what does that tell you? You're doing it for nine, you know, it takes a long time. It takes a long time. And then I would go in and out of that guy.

Right. I used to be frustrating and tell you how to know how to pinpoint this motherfucker down. This particular spirit that was dwindling Espito Molo. Yeah. I finally got him down. That's what we are today. It was all because that night in the belly room was a storytelling show.

It was the first night. Wow. It was a storytelling at that point or no, you were doing jokes. No. I was a fan of the vagina monologues. Right. Yeah, I remember when those were big. And I wanted to switch it for men.

So I called the testicle testaments, right? Testicle Testaments. And that's how it started. go up there and tell a story about a rough situation. And I had some great people go up there and tell. In fact, I learned that the darker the secret was, the bigger reaction they got to it. You know, when a star goes up on stage and tells a story how he got a dental procedure

and he didn't know he got to eat antibiotics, all those things, probiotics. This was 30 years ago. He had no idea. Right. He kept popping the pain pills and he had to take a shit with a nail clipper stuck up his ass to break up the shit. And you say it on stage, and you're also on a weekly television show on Fox.

Yeah. It hits harder, you know? Yeah. The other guy told the story on how he got busted drinking NyQuil in Canada. That's how, and that's when I learned that sometimes you've got to dig that shit up. I'd rather say it before they find out on the side. So let me tell a real audience of what the fuck I just did.

And that's when I really learned, wow, the darker the secret. the more they fucking like you. Yeah. Anybody could go up there and go, hey, man, I fucked my chick for eight hours. She never, she called me in golden dick. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But go up there and tell people that you come in 13 seconds.

Yeah. And you don't know what to do. She calls your Mr. Shorty, you know, all this fucking, all this shit. People appreciate it because there's going to be 10 guys in the audience that are going through that exact same thing. And they just exposed it. Now on the way home, their girlfriend's looking at them weird.

He was talking about you. How does he know about me? You know. You're telling you. So it's very interesting where all this shit happens. And that's why I love, when I go to a mothership, I don't get in a big room unless I do the more. Just not working to me.

Yeah. I got a 50-50 shot if I go up there straight. And I'm telling you this is a professional. If I get up on stage before I go in the big room, it's like a 90%. It raises the percentages. Yeah. So. You start dancing.

You get, you get. Yeah. That's it. You're uninhibited. That's it. But that first set, after not getting on stage since last Wednesday at the dojo, it sucks, dick. Yeah. It just fucking sucks, you know.

Yeah, Friday night started great. My brother came up from Delaware. Oh, we did? Yeah, we got high because the sister put the whole one of the things together. And we went up to the Giodano benefit. It was 25 years. I don't know if you guys know the story about a North Bergen kid that was working. What was he working?

George. Board Authority Police. And the day of 9-11, he went out. He kept going in and out of building, bringing somebody, and he went in, and he eventually died. Something happened to rubble. Chris Amaroso. And, you know, for years, they've been inviting me, but honest to God, I felt like a hypocrite. I didn't know the kid. What do you only go down there and say? I know the kid, that he's a great kid. So I always felt then I thought about it. I'm like, wait a second. It's not that I know him. It stays from the same streets than I am.

And for him to do something like that, that shows where how kind of we were raised. Yeah. So I became very proud. And this year somebody called and said it would be nice if I made the appearance. I didn't hesitate. I said yes.

When it did, I'm sorry about your friend's show at the stand. I don't know if he can't. Oh, yeah, I'm not sure. Yeah. How was the, um, the benefit. The benefit, listen, it was a benefit.

I didn't have to go on stage. But you know what? The last couple months, it's been life's been everywhere, and it's kind of nice to see the people you came up with. And when I walked in, first guy that gave me a hug with Jackie Kennel. That's therapy for me. Then Mike Edler,

that's therapy for me. These are people I've known for 40 years walking around and them call me a spic or whatever. And then I saw, you know, commas and I saw a guy to basketball and I saw a bunch of people that I knew that were my friends before I told a stupid joke so it always makes you feel I saw George's ex-wife which is like my sister you know I was just telling George how guilty I feel that I'm up every Monday I don't even stop in there for a rosebeep sandwich because that bitch could cook when it comes to roast beef so you know it just

makes you remind the way you came from yeah on the way there I got rear-ended by a black guy from Pennsylvania, like one of those French brothers, Johnny Patois. Oh, dude, that car, you've had more accidents in that car than I think any other car you've had combined. It's been unfucking believable, the amount of accidents I've had. Windshield's getting hit by a baseball. Oh, I forgot about that. People stopping short in front of me. The only car in the fucking field.

And that's exactly where the ball landed, right in the middle of my windshield. shot to my fucking head. What is your, what is you, what does the dealership say when they see you coming up? Joey. Oh my God. Here we go. What happened now? Oh.

So now I don't know what I'm going to do because if I keep the car, it's a bad luck car. But in the reality of things, I'm the bad luck. I've always been bad luck with cars. My foot is heavy. I can't see out my right eyes. Someone always like, get a new car. I'm like, no. Because I'm just going to keep denting them.

What is this? You buy my smash him? You know, this is the story of my fucking life. When I was a kid, nobody was buying them for me then. But my wife has to go down there and do the paperwork now because she knows all about that shit. I don't know how to buy nothing. So I'm like, no, why buy a new car? Let's fix that up and keep, you know, let's fucking keep until it blows up.

Yeah. Put some rims on it or some. Start wearing a helmet in there. You know, because I know the worst is going to come. So, but even in the middle of all that, I wasn't aggravated, I took the guy's pictures. You know, the guy was trying to slow. dope me. And then on the top of all this, the construction guys are doing

construction, they all came over to take pictures. In the middle of my fucking heartbeat. And we got you. Fuck that dude. We got you. We'll call the cops in your behalf. And I'm like, guys, guys, guys, there's too much. They were like, Joey Diaz, is that you? I'm like, yeah,

I just got rear-ended. Give me a fucking minute. They didn't get what fuck. They started climbing the walls and taking pictures and shit. That's funny. I get to the thing. I see all these people, and these women that all have red dresses on. One, pretty, and the other. I never saw anything like that.

I thought they were Republicans. I'm like, these chicks are Republicans, but they were there to honor the EMTs and stuff. But there was one girl when I started talking to, I just, I asked somebody. I go, why is all these women dressed in red? And the girl must have heard me. She started talking to me. The girl was 23 years old. and it was the best conversation I had all night.

Why? What did she? She just graduated college. Her dad's a cop. He owns a, you know, a drone company where they shoot movies and shit like that. Nice. So I told him I would hook him up with Nick. The father was there.

He took pictures of us. It was fucking great. Just to see what my daughter's going to be like in 10 years. Yeah, that's great. She graduated. She's in mental health. You know, so it was me, her, Jackie Cannell's wife. My table was banging.

I had both runnies, Jackie Kennel, Jackie's wife. And like I said, I gave Jackie my number. And I go, there is no reason in the world why you don't have my number. You should be able to call me. If you did anything, we should be able to be connecting at least once a month. So it was really nice. Then we got home and I fucking went to sleep. But last night it was the night, Jack.

I drank two of those fucking energy drinks. And I took like 10 or 15 of those dabs. And I played fucking GTA with Carl ETHLL three in the fucking morning. We jumped on at 10 o'clock, like 10 to 10 we jumped on or something like that. And there was one mission, I'm so stupid, because

you have to keep shooting. Right. And every time I'd switch weapons, the guy would press the alarm to the bank. I must have done that 15 fucking times. This is what I was talking about when Pedro was here. Like, that's a real video game night. When you're like, when you look up at 3.30, you're like, fuck, I have to be up at 9 in the morning.

I did that twice in the last week. like I stayed up till three with those motherfuckers fucking around. I'm an old man. Yeah? I can't be staying up, but I can't get off either. No.

Because I am laughing so fucking hard and so much. It's amazing that this little fucking thing that's addicting and it's probably bad for you and I'm an old man and all this shit. But still, it brings me so just,

if I play seven hours a week. I don't think it's better. But I've earned that. Yeah. Seven hours a week at 63, I've earned that. It's not like for the last 20s. want to hear that. You got a spot tonight. I'm going to stay here and play fucking Nintendo. Whatever the fuck it is. I would love if Terry called and was like, Joey said he's not going

on the road anymore. He says he's just going to play Grand Theft Auto. No, that wouldn't that happen. But it's, it's a lot. And I think it's better for you than like social media or at least you're doing something. They have college courses about it now. Guys, I play a little bit. I read a book for a while. You know, when I finish playing Grand Theft Auto, I put everything away. I take my nighttime medication, my sleep medication. I turn the TV off and I just pull a book. Nice.

And I say, I'm going to read a chapter on something that I've never heard about before. I read the thing twice. I don't know what the fuck they're saying, which is exactly my point, just to get me, because if not, you go to bed and you got those grand theft auto dreams. You're stabbing people. You're running over your friends and shit. That's not when I started sleeping with a mouthpiece takes my sleep to the next level. Really?

Yeah, it's from my teeth. Okay. But this thing has been, I pop it in 11, I don't wake up to P till 4. Is it for breathing or what are you? It's for fucking my teeth so they don't fall out or they don't grind or whatever. Oh, okay, okay. The dentist sends me bills. I don't even know.

I just pay them and they tell me to come pick up a mouthpiece. Do you get, have you started when you're driving around? Do you ever see like one of those trucks with a ramp where they can, like, they tow car, or they're not towed, but they like have a bunch of cars. And in Grand Theft Auto, you can drive up and then jump off and you think about it when you're actually driving. driving in real life. I never had that. No. I see what you're saying.

Yeah. I would drive by things. I'm like, oh, I could jump over that right now. And it's, and it's, I'm excited for when you get six.

Because six, dude, I can't, I'm not allowed to get it. I've banned myself from it. Because it's, you're going to have a girlfriend in the game.

You're going to go crazy with that. You're going to, you're, when the cops find you, you have to go change your clothes now. It's a lot. It's, it's going to be crazy.

I'm excited. Do you have like a night that you do it or you wouldn't Carly just do it whenever you want to do it? I callie cooks on Monday nights. That's her main thing. Monday night she cooks. And they're pretty good recipes too. I watch them sometimes. I'm like I'll put it on if there's nothing going on in the house on Monday nights. Yeah. And I'm writing. It's just in the background. But I'll hear shit. And I'm like, I didn't know about that about meat. You know, like stupid shit. So she's going to get together with chef Brad. Nice. Yeah. In November, Brad's going to meet. He's doing some Twitches, right? Yeah. He did one with us. He's busy, you know. Oh, no, but I'm thinking he does his own.

Yes, he does his own. I did a Twitch with Pedro. If you go to Pedro's Twitch at like two in the morning, we were doing tequila shots and like dancing in this bar in Saratoga. Danny Braff was putting on songs from Lema Zorab to get people to get out of the bar. It was, we had, Twitch is fun. And that's what I want to feel. I wanted you to go up there.

And that's, you're hanging with comics. Mm-hmm. You're there. They can't get away from you. It's like a weekend in Philadelphia when it's me, you're in the opener. Right. You know, and it even sucks to stay in your hotel room in the daytime because they're doing something. You know, I also did the Seattle comedy.

Yeah, yeah, that's a big one. And I also did, and that was really good. But they were on a grand scale. The one that Live Nation did with all the stars. Oddball. And then they did the festival in the back with Brody and they have some show over here. And I'm on state and like, hey, Brody. Get your attention, people.

And I'm like, holy fuck. That was pretty good. I love Seattle was my first camaraderie style weekend for comedy. Because that was like a month, right? Isn't Seattle like a long time? It's four weeks, five days a week. But then on the weekends, you're there. So we used to go to fucking games and go to hikes and go to something outlandish in Seattle.

And it becomes like a bonding thing. And you're like, this was fun. And then you pick up a couple weeks of work. Your life's not going to change. I met a lot. I didn't meet him. I've known this dude for years, but the booker from the Providence

where Island Club was there, because he's also a comic. But he books the features and the hosts. But I saw him. I haven't seen him in forever. And so I'm going to go down there soon. That was great. I had actually a really good comedy week last week.

I did my spots, but then I went and saw Burr headlined at Gotham. I'd never been to Gotham. Oh, I hadn't been there like 15 years. That was really cool. I saw Keith. Fuck,

the black dude. Robinson. He, even though he had two strokes and passed out that night at the club and they had to call an ambulance, he still went on stage, destroyed. And then the next night I went to the garden for the 9-11 thing. Probably the best show I've ever been to.

Really? It was just, I have a little bit of a, it's not a crush, but I love John Stewart, John Stiffer, Jew, and especially a comedy fan. He opened it up,

fantastic. Nick Bargetse, Ronnie Chang, Josh Johnson, Chappelle, Hart, Gillis, what's the

lady from the Golden Globes, Nikki Glazer. It was probably the most stack show I've ever been to, but it was, I didn't realize, and it sounds crazy to say this, but I didn't really realize

how big 9-11 was around here? Because I was in Massachusetts. It was a big deal, but it sort of kind of went away to after 25 years to have, they had cops and paramedics and all those people bring up, what's the guy's name? He was on SNL. He also ran that night. Pete Davidson. I know, like, the firefighters and cops would kill for that guy. And it was just, everyone was happy. The whole place was packed. And it was. was to see, it made me realize how far I have to go in comedy. To see a line, like that lineup should never exist.

And like it's the best lineup I've ever seen. And just to see, and it was interesting to see Berg go from doing an hour the night before for 200 people to then how he transferred it and did it at the garden. It was a, it was a fun, that was a fun show. You learned some show. Yeah. And it was, it made me. like I have

who knows if it'll even be happening or a flavor but like being at that show at the garden I was like I want to I want someone to ask me to do this someday maybe for the 50th anniversary of 9th like whatever it is like I want to be I got it would just just to be asked to do a show like that would be like okay I fucking made it it was it was a crazy fucking night

that was that was wild I had never seen Shane live before Nikki Glazer was the only woman on the show and she killed it. It was a fucking cool night. It was a fucking really cool night. Good. So you had the festival after that.

Yeah. So you have to practice and steal the jokes and practice in the Saratoga. Oh, I did that all in Saratoga. I did Shane Gillis's and Nikki Glazer's jokes all in the whole weekend. But that was awesome. I'm happy you had a good weekend.

Thank you. I'm happy that the comedy. You got to, like I said, those festivals. you have to go up there with an open heart, absorb like a sponge, and then go back, and then you start making your decisions, you know. And anytime you could be with comics for a weekend

that you usually don't see and they're your friends, you know, it's a lot of fucking fun to do, you know. It was great, man. It's an education. Now I've got to go to Austin tomorrow. You excited? And move. I am very excited for this.

I'm very excited to get it all with you. If you know anything about me, I'm one of those guys. They just like getting it over it. You know, I want to go down there. I got to pick up some box rings tomorrow. I got to pick up some furniture. I got to pick up a fucking TV to hang up in the wall. I'm going to have to pick up another little computer.

And I start from scratch. The girls want to come down for Christmas. Leave on the 27th. And how long are you going to be down there for this trip? This trip is just five days. I'm back next Saturday. And then I go back again on the, 13th.

Okay. And that's when October 15th is the first big, big show. This week's in the little room. But October will be in the big room. The Joey Diaz and friends. Yeah. November being the big room and December will be in the big room. And then I think in December I do that on it.

I do a Thursday in Tulsa. And then I got the theater in Houston and Sugar Land. And then from there, I'm just going to go to Austin and stay down there till the 21st or the 22nd. Come back, do Christmas, then go right back down there with the girls. Nice. So far.

Maybe else change their mind and go to Nashville, and I'll sit at home and watch daytime television. You're not starting over, but what does it feel like? Because it's like you're kind of start. It's like you've never moved by yourself done like, this is crazy. Hey, this Saturday, the fight is on.

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Nobody, a hard dick, and a mailman that delivers. Blu-choo.com for more details and important safety information. And I want to thank BluTru from the bottom of my heart for sponsoring the podcast and the bedroom. Yeah! The question that you asked me eight weeks ago that changed my life was my five-year window. And I was home, for a couple days, I was very upset that I couldn't look you in the eye and answer it because my five-year window is death. At the end of five years is death. Now you're in the dead zone.

68 to 74, no stroke. You're going down any day. That's your five-year plan is death. It was really embarrassing. I went home, took me a couple days. I read that book, The War of Art, Art of War, whatever the fuck again. I read that again. I made some notes.

And I was like, this is what I want to accomplish in the next 18 months. I want to continue to do the podcast. I want to continue to do comedy at one big show a month, except for May and June. I just do snippets. And I want to go straight to my 65th birthday. I don't want a Netflix special. I do not want to shoot a special for YouTube.

I don't want to shoot a special at all. The name of my tour for the Romanian, of the fucking 18 is, uh, I didn't get the memo tour. Because I don't, I just don't give a fuck anymore. I just want to be funny. I don't want to be a corporate comedy anymore. I don't want any of that association with Netflix. Not because they're bad.

It's just, it's just mental health for me at this age. I don't want to live, you don't want to do this and then do it with Netflix, but I don't need that. Right. You don't want to show. You know, a sudden you were doing a special on YouTube at the back of the boat. I don't want to do that. Right. I'm saying?

I don't want to do that. So before I do all that shit, I just want to do comedy, become really funny, put together some really good material about what's going on in my life. There's no more crimes in my life. There's no more nothing. I'm just trying to raise the daughter, get healthy, to stretch out a few years. That's what's going on in my life. It's not the lifestyle I had even in L.A. no more. No, very.

So are you planning on doing 10 spots a week? When I'm down there? Yeah. Nine. Okay. My goal is to do like three on Tuesday, two on Wednesday, and then do my show, and then shoot over to the sunset on Thursday nights and close it out at Red Bands, Friday, I'll take the night off, maybe get a dinner, smoke some pot, and then Saturday, fucking come home. Right. I just don't like the flight.

I got to leave a tenant land in Newark at 3.47. So the only earlier flight is fucking seven. I got to be there at quarter of six. You're not awake, and you're in an airport with a thousand fucking hippies. But they got tacos. They got tacos. Good tacos, too. Didn't me?

And then that's it. I just got to figure out a couple angles. I know it's going to be a lot of work. People like, Joe, you're going to have to fly. I know that. But I told you, I came up with a scam for flying. It works for me, the wheelchair. Yeah.

They bought me on the plane first, which is what I like, so I got to eat my edible and get my water. And I'm going to give it a shot from him 65 and then Rio Valley. Who knows? Maybe I won't, maybe people won't come to my shows. normal. But that's a reality I'm preparing myself for instead of people saying, hey, you're not selling tickets no more and you've got to feel like an idiot. Once that

happens, I'll shut everything down to a smaller degree. And what I want to happen when I'm 65 is just to do a couple fucking, you know, residences. I could do a residency. I need casino in Vegas. It doesn't have to be big, doesn't have to be small. Give me 200 seats. Yeah.

One Saturday a month, I could do it there. I can do a casino. You know, I'm always welcome in Philadelphia. Philadelphia. So I'm just winding it down backwards with no expectations. The only expectations is what I put into this the next year and a half. 18 months. Yeah, 17 months. So that's when I'm at. That's, it's, I'm excited for you. It's, because you haven't done this level of spots in like six years.

Like, even in LA, you were working, but you would do like, what, two nights a week at the store? Yeah. Something like that. So this is, do you have like, like, I'm sure, I know you were like obviously writing and taking notes, but do you have, are you building in your head an hour and like working off of that? Are you just saying whatever makes you laugh and then you'll take it to stage? No, I'm building little by little.

Now I got some topics that are really working. I've tried them both the last two weeks about my family and what's going on at the house. I had to break down a little bit more what it's like to have a 13 year old, especially when you were a 63-year-old man that got my background. Right. So I had to break that down on the material. And listen, It,

I feel like I've been doing this again with you guys for two and a half years. The first year I was just moping along. The second year I had a little bit more focus. And now I feel like I'm at the place where I want to be. I can maintain that at this level. I can maintain that. For me to tell you guys, I'm going on the road every weekend. By the fifth week, I'm going to cancel.

Right. The cancellation is going to start. I like what I'm doing now. and I could do this. You know, I feel bad for, like when a comedian that's 44 does what I'm doing, at the end of those 18 months, he has to start all over again. I don't have to do that anymore. I can lay out my cards now and just go for broken.

I'll be happy. Hopefully I'll get a, I can recur on a TV show, but I'm not counting on it. Well, you said you don't want to have to restart, but you restart yourself every three months anyways. Like, you make it harder on yourself than the 44-year-old. I want to do, I'm going to work my Patreon again. I fucking love. I'm loving what I'm doing on GTA. I got a good relationship with Patreon.

I just need to get back going. I've been going on there every night. Even the fucking videos look like shit. Like, when I do a live stream, they look terrible. They look, fuck, I can't make the... If I put the camera here, it gets my side of the head over here. I got a wiggle and shit, so it's just too much. So I got to figure some out.

But the big story this weekend is this is your last episode. It's the church, man. It is. And it made a lot of sense when you came down last Tuesday like a man. And we spoke, you said something that lingered. And you were like 14 years ago, Joey. You know, you were 28 then? No, 22.

22, right out of college, you know. You had never smoked weed out of a Coke can before. No. Barely done anything. I thought about it. I'm like, you know what? man, it's timefully to break his wings anyway. I've been talking,

dude, it's been a, we talked a lot and I've been talking to a lot of people. It's crazy. It's just, I was 20, yeah, I met you 15 years ago. We'd just been doing the podcast for 14. I fought you about being on the podcast. I had no interest in being on the

podcast. And I'm almost 40 years old now. I'll be 40 in a year and a half. And I fought you about doing, I don't know if you remember this, because Dice was the one who was like, hey, you should try it. And I asked you if I should try stand up. I'd be like, I don't think so. And like now I meet these people out there.

And I've been working on Stan and it's, I would have never guessed this is where my life would have been. And it's sad that a chapter is closing. another one is opening. Yeah, and dude, I was, I was thinking about, like, when we left L.A. Like, it was a lot. We thought it was closed. We thought it was closed. And it also happened very quickly, which can, like, kind of, like, throw you for a loop.

Like, we, like, COVID happened. I didn't know I was moving until a month before. I mean, no, no, I'm not blaming you. It must have been quick for everybody. One day you call me, like, we're moving to Jersey. And they're like, ah, you don't want to move to fucking the middle of Jersey. So, no, you're a young guy. Go get some pussy.

And it was, I ended up losing the all. that wait and I'm far from a headliner. I'm not, I have a few headlining dates in my future, but I'm just excited I'm excited to see what happens. I got sold me. In Tampa 57. You've been sleeping on it. Oh, I'm so excited. You check that motherfucker eight times a day. He's hit and refresh that. More than eight times.

And shit. Oh. Yeah, I didn't sell a ticket the last two hours. Then you make a video of you tap dancing. Lee, from my perspective, this is, let me lay it on you. This is very special. And this is very special tonight. You grew up in front of a camera. You grew up the last 15 years. You were always doing videos of me and wiggling and jumping up and down.

What we did at the time was fucking hard to do. I mean, I feel bad for people who start a podcast now. Yeah. That's real torture. We did it. We figured it out with no education. We were just working off for what I saw Rogan do, Corolla do, this guy do, and we put our thing together. Listen, for about eight years, we were doing great numbers, you know, and the YouTube crisis and the fucking numbers and this.

But the whole time, it's been a great experience, and I thank you because you put me in the limelight with these podcasts. Listen, you could have, this is what people don't understand. Everybody wants to, everybody's a producer. Nobody knows how to do shit. Okay, nobody knows how to do shit. I love when people go, I'm a producer. I produce shows. Take three people.

If you look at it from that perspective, but if you look at it, when you get to the show, what this guy did, he put the ukulele player in the first and this and that. There's an art to it. There's an art to everything. We didn't know where we were going with a podcast. We had no idea.

Remember the first two years I was taking a beating because I was reading ads every day and they're only paying us once a month. You know, we had no idea. Yeah, we had no idea. Everybody else had their ideas and their advice, and we just kept doing what we were doing it. We were a hell of a podcast.

We were the first ones to take asses on a live podcast, you know. I think we'd be the only one. We did some crazy shit. We took chances. Yeah. I knew that my lungs were the strongest thing on me at that point, and I fucking used them, Jack. Yeah?

I mean, I want you to go away, but I also want you to do something. You have to promise me. that you're going to have to do the documentary on this. The episodes, you got to put up the episode when you puked, you know, all those little behind the scenes, little things. You know what? Should we finally tell them? What?

People, he said the episode where I puked. Lean outer space. People always get how many milligrams you did. There were no mil. That was four drops of liquid acid and ACDC or whatever, whatever was on that. Happy pills. We went deep that night. Oh, my God.

And that's why I told Theo on the podcast that time. I said that podcast almost killed me. The fucking outer layer of that, the months that came after it, I was just defrosting from being frozen for fucking eight years in L.A. Edibles. We were eating edibles. We were both putting away a thousand milligrams. Because I was just picking you up at your house and throwing shit in your mouth.

Yeah. We were drinking. Like, our kidneys are definitely going to go first. We were drinking that 100 milligram tube that tastes like Kool-Aid. The little science tube. Oh, no, the worst ones, the worst ones were the chocolate bars, the moon bars. Those tasted. You always like, oh, it tastes good.

I don't know how. I couldn't get it down. They tasted like ass. They tasted like fat. I couldn't tell you, they tasted like ass. Thank you for finally admitting it. I'm agreeing with you that who cares what they taste like. You're going to see a double.

You're going to eat ass for two minutes to live a lifetime of being. Hi, that's a great mismatch. That really is a lifetime of me. But I don't understand if you know what you did. Like, I did a podcast after you. And I'm not putting anybody down. He wasn't a producer because he couldn't get my heart on tape. He couldn't get my heart on tape.

He never figured out how to do it because he had his own things going on. I learned that afterward. So you were always very special because you opened up my story. I always called the church to educationally. That's exactly what it was. It was me raising a son and me giving them what I thought was valuable information. In the meantime, we told stories and everybody was happy. You know, that's all this podcast ever was.

We'd go back and put all the people we put on the podcast. They never did as good as the podcast you and I were doing on Sundays. That's crazy. We used to always laugh. We work hard for these guests, and him and I were getting the hot because we had guests all the time. Yeah, yeah. So when you didn't have a guest, you were like, we're doing better numbers than when I do have a fucking guess.

So we started going to that format. So we changed. And it went back to when we first met, dude. It was just people, podcasts are really corporate now, and I get it. But like the first three months we hung out, we just sat outside of the ha-ha and talked. And listen,

people would give me shit about the audio bat. I was never an audio engineer. I learned the best I could. I think the thing that I was better at than some other producers is I will. You called the educational lead, but I always knew it was your show. And I was never trying to jump. But it was, I appreciate it, but it was also. This was the educationally.

I knew what my place was. And after a while, I started enjoying it. I started, look, when I drive these gigs with Becky, What do you think I'm learning Chinese in the college? I'm asking, I ask her questions before I go on stage, and then on the way home, we don't even put music on. We just talk shop. Yeah.

What she did wrong that night, what I did wrong that night, what I did good, what she did good. And right there, that's an education. That's not just going to do an open mic and going home and stopping for a donut. I was thinking about something, that that night that you got sick, the highlight of that night was that after everybody left, Dean, I stayed with you and we were goofing. and you were going through all these things.

Don't take me to the hospital. I'm not. And I said, I'm going to take you somewhere. You're like, where are you going? I took you for a blueberry donuts. Oh, I like those doors. Bro. Burbank didn't have a lot to offer,

but they had a donut place that was open. The red and yellow place? The little corner hut. We went one night really high to that restaurant where we had a walk into the back at two in the morning. We called an Uber that one time was a minivan. I remember that. None of us could drive.

Both of us couldn't drive. No. But it was 2.30 in the morning. I wasn't going to go home like that. My wife would have killed me. So we went and got breakfast at this place that you had to walk through and then go to a back room. It was fucking two in the morning, two 30 in the morning.

But I think I would hope that donut places. It was on Magnolia, right? Yeah. Right there towards, it was first you had like the Cuban place. Portos, yeah. And then you had something else. And then that was down more where there was no lights at night. Yeah.

We used to pull up. We used to pull up on the sidewalk. Nobody went there at night. It was up in 24 hours. Those blueberry donuts are good. Those fucking blueberry donuts, George. Let me tell you something. Him and I took a plane right now.

We would go to the donut place. Definitely get those mashed potato tacos. Yeah, that's all you need. Go to that fucking sushi place one more time. Sushi Dan, kill that. We had these spots close to the office that were just so fucking great. But those donuts at midnight when I go leave. Let's get that.

I got to finish up that. Lee. Donuts. We're going to get donuts. How long am I going to be gone for? 10 minutes. Yeah, those were good. This podcast was also built on food.

Yeah. There was about two young, an old fat fuck and a young fat fuck. And he told me about his lizard meat addiction. Fucking gravy on French fries. He would tell me about his diet and I feel like puking on the spot. Oh, dude,

I'll be your age and people will still talk to me about subway. People will still talk to me about subway. me about lizard meat. But yeah, our food. Dude, it was, you're right. It was edibles, food. And giggling like two faggots. Saying racial things about Jews and Spanish people and fucking laughing our asses off.

And it was, we don't know what the chemistry was. The chemistry was friendship. The chemistry was, I mean, I tell people, we do a podcast now. It takes two hours. In those days, we took a podcast. You didn't know how. long we're going to be gone. We could meet at seven and walk in the door at two in the morning. We did that dunking powder at that time. We went there until two in the morning. One in the

morning. I walked in. My wife was up. I'm all fucked up. People have no idea what went on to do that podcast. How much work. The work now I put in is going over notes and see who the ads are. Back then, it was a lot of work. I had to figure out the amounts of weed, how many edibles, when we were going to Eat them. I had the timing and leave. Time for another one. Yeah, you were just throw stars in me. I used to just throw.

In fact, some guy made us a buzzer. Like a thing. Oh, yeah, yeah, the traffic. Yeah. It was a star eater. Every time we ate a star, we had to hit the thing so people could see what the count was. So when people locked down, they could eat the stars and catch up with us. It was fucking insanity.

Dude, do you remember? I was telling someone this weekend. Do you remember how I used to have to go pick up the stars? Oh, yeah, on Tuesday morning. This dude, it was. before it was recreational. It was just medical. And this dude who made these in his kitchen would go and deliver them

the dispensaries. I would meet him outside after he'd had it. He had a toy or a carola. He'd open up his trunk and take out a plastic bag filled to the brim with stars and brownies and we never ate one brownie. And I would put him in my trunk and thank God it was like three seconds from the studio.

But those three seconds, I thought I was going to get arrested. It was like it was you used to tell me you were going to send me to New York from LA with stars to sell them. And I'm like, I don't want to, they're going to arrest me. And you would just call me, oh, my God. What about what I want to send you to Florida, go to rehab to make $60,000?

You still tell me that you're going to say. $60,000. How? I'll never understand how I'm going to make this. They got to scam those rehabs in Florida. And this guy was the king of them. Listen. He's like, if you know anybody wants to go to rehab, tell him I'll give him 30 grand for six

months away. And once you get to the end of this five-year point, whatever it is, the end of of this 18 months, find a black chick to fart my face. I don't give a fuck. We already did. It's on footage. That's all the unreleased footage we're going to release. From the old, I had a camera hidden at the podcast. I thought I thought

I thought I thought. I thought something. Panties and shit and people pass it out. And it's so weird with people like, after I left L.A. where I had all that heat, garbage from the Joe Rogan tape. And I had these people like, oh my God, you were having sex at the office. What?

It was, bro. Who was who? Who was having sex with fucking Lee. Where were you going to fuck them? There was a table in the middle and a little couch. I did see your balls one time, but that was... Oh, yeah, yeah.

When we did the telethon. Yeah, you just... Oh, yeah. When Greg Garcia offered me, $10,000, $5,000 a ball. And I said, give him $10. I'll show you both of them. He's like, dud.

Fucking... And then the wave went down. It was Twitch. No. It was streaming on one of those. Yeah, it was you stream and then something else. But yeah, I remember that.

The Comedy Store one. Yeah, yeah. We did a lot. And it went by fast. It was just, because we just did it every week, two times a week, sometimes three. How many episodes we got under our belt right now? Close to a thousand? We did 800 something in L.A.

And then, yeah, we're close to a thousand. And then, and that doesn't, you know, you did the other podcast for a while and I did a couple episodes of that. You did, you did Beauty and the Beast before that. So you're probably at 1,000, if not more. That's why. You're probably how the podcast scene took all when we were in the ground floor. I used to remember hating Adam Carolla. Because we were making $100 a month from that porno company.

Adam and Eve. Adam and Eve. And this guy's making $17,000. It was driving me fucking insane. We tried everything. We were trying everything. The pool, the jacuzzi. Remember the jacuzzi guy we had for a while?

He's going to go to the house and stall jacuzzi. Oh, dude, I would love to go through the sponsors and see what companies no longer exist. And it's probably at least half of them. Fucking, the fucking, listen, man, we did a lot of bad things, like not, like a lot of negative shit. We did a lot of good things. And one thing we did, we brought the bidet back. We fucking sold a million bidet for that lady. Yeah.

I hear from a twice a year still, but you still want to do some. So now I'm in Austin I'm gonna call her up and see if she wants to go dinner or something Just have her put one on your new place Yeah no have to put one on the floor So I can shit there As I get open

And wash my balls I have one at my place Put that on my Patreon Me shitting in the fucking You could put a camera on that I know I can Oh But me shitting and

Fallin story while I'm shitting I thought about that Just the shit falling out of your ball No my ass and my private parts I never shown It's me sitting on a throne talking about the day, like the day of review. On this day in 1981,

fucking George stabbed the guy and took his fucking... History with Joey Diaz. Fuck. But Lee was really an education. It was. 14 years, when you told me that, I almost didn't sleep that night. I was like, 14 fucking years, where did it go?

I do remember that. We got thrown out because Mercy was getting the room from us. Oh, yeah. We got thrown out. Yeah. Well, we got thrown out of a guy. I thought you were talking about the other office where we actually did get thrown out. The black women ate.

But yeah, no, we started, we started in your living room. No, no, we started in your office and then we went to the living room because Mercy was coming. And we went to your place. Then we went to my place for a while. And we really got an office. I still can't believe we didn't get kicked out of my place. No one said anything, but we were smoking joint. And then this is how, and you would never do this now.

You were having Diet Coke at 6 in the morning at my place with that. And the tripod was a container of Lysol wipes. And we had webcams. It was, and now, like now we have very nice cameras and we have a whole thing. But it's, I can't thank you enough, dude. I mean, from A, I told you I didn't want to be on it. But I never would, I'm not a confident. I was not now, not before, but to have the confidence, to do stand up, to have the confidence,

like, it's freakinging me out that this is the last episode that I'll be on the church. It really is. You know, it freaked me out at first, then I switched my perspective on it. Mm-hmm. And I said, people need to do this more often in life, you know, and we're friends, and you could say whatever fuck you want. I'm sure you got a little bored doing it. You know, it was time to move on for you. For me, I got nowhere to go.

And this is part of my 18-month plan, so I'll ring this bell until they're not watching it. You know, as far as I could drop knowledge and crack a few funny jokes and shit, and there'll be a lot more interviewing. I want to get my interview game going again. I think that fell off the last two years. So there was a lot of, when you came to me, it was a little upsetting, but then it became optimistic. and I became optimistic for you.

And all I want, you know, you're not allowed back on me until you get a Netflix special. Deal. I'm giving you rules. You're not a lot. Don't come to me, but it's on a YouTube special. It's shot in the garage somewhere. I have a big, I have an in at YouTube. Okay.

You know, you're always welcome to come back here. This does not mean anything bad. This is just two people who are moving on and moving on in a positive manner. You know, I still love him. He still loves me. he's going to be taking care of business on his end. He just got a new neighbor. He got a lower Manhattan.

So that's all yours now. I can't control it. I can't say nothing to you. That's it. But this was good for both of us. This did a lot for a career. And we're going to see what it did for us in years to come. But I do still have one unfazed project with you.

And it's a little documentary about telling what we just told the people in more detail. All this shit. that we were faced with. And, dang God, YouTube was a lot easier back then. We would have never made it. We would have never made it. I mean, half of our videos weren't shown. We got half of them 10 years ago.

I can't imagine now. But it helped me with my stand-up. It helped me with my storytelling. It helped me build a bond with you online. I mean, listen, the podcast was a hit because you had somebody was extremely vulnerable. And you had another guy who was willing not to shut the fuck So that's where the Oreo effect came from.

That's where the magic came from. It was two personality traits that people don't even think of when they're putting a podcast together. They just want to do it with a best friend. And that's how shit ends. You know, we were, we didn't know each other. So everything about each other was new to each other. I'm sure I said a couple things that your jaw dropped, you know. A couple things.

Yeah, that your jaw dropped and shit. I still remember one episode in particular, me coming. in the next day and I was so proud of myself because you were like, dog, what you talked about last night was real and that's when I told you, I used to work at the Sharon and when I go in, I would buy appetizers. Yeah. Like, it cost me $8. As a bartender.

Yeah. 22 appetizers and you're coming in from being at work. You don't want to hold dinner, but you want a cocktail with your cocktail, you want something. You know, and I remember you going, I never thought about it that way. And that helped, you know, using that type of mentality, that

carried on until remember in the beginning we wouldn't do a Patreon. How many times you come to me do a Patreon? What I'd tell you? Oh, Jesus. I used to go lose my mind. I don't want to do a Patreon. I want to build on this. I want people not to ever have to pay for a podcast. Right. I didn't like that. A podcast are free. At least it worked for me being for free because in my cosmic world, I looked at it as we're just putting some out into the universe. Dude, you were doing a shout and no, no shame to anyone who does it. But, But people make millions of dollars now doing shoutouts and personal videos. You were doing personally, you were doing shoutouts for 70.

And you, they asked you to do that. We're like, I don't want to say whatever the name. I honestly don't even remember the name of the company right now. You can get personalized videos from, whatever it is. Camio. Yeah. Camio. Like, they've been asked.

And they're a great service. They hit me up twice a year. Yeah. I'm just not ready at that point in my career. That's my Comic-Con. Point. That's why I started going to Comic-Con and getting all. of grass with puppy eyes.

My daughter's in college. You got to sign this. I didn't want to do it at that point. To me, that's what that means in a career. People have a different opinion on it. They got to feed their kids. I understand it. But for me, it was always the things you do at the end

because I'm trying to attack them from a different perspective. I don't want them to buy stupid fucking videos. I'll give you the videos for free and I'll fucking do the shows and you could come. I keep the prices low. I'm giving you every option, not to like me, but to work with you on stuff, you know.

Cameo for me to sit there and have to go, happy birthday, Lee. You know, it's your birthday. And George wants you to know how you feel. Go fuck yourself. Right. And, dude, I've never been bored doing the podcast. The reason why I came down last week is, A,

I always want to make sure that our relationship is solid, which it is. And I always, I always, now that you're, everything that you're saying to me, like the education. Not that my education is over by a long shot. I have a long way to go. No. But I always want to feel like I have a purpose.

And I don't... You would keep me here forever. Because you're a loyal person. But I... I guess that is a little bit of what I felt over the last... Like, is... Am I the best? best person for this? Am I adding to the conversation? Am I growing? Because you ask me that

every time we do a show. Like, what did you learn? Absolutely. And like the fact that I'm four, like going to be 40 now, 10 plus years in the stand-up. And who know? You might be, you might see me on a ship in five years. I don't know. Hopefully not. Hopefully you'll see me doing some clubs and all of that. And I want to show, because for everyone watching, like you, I grew up with you, like the fact that that, that, uh, you knew me from, from right out of college and, and, and, and went through relationships with me and went through the 800,000 torture chambers that you put me through. Like, I, I'm a completely different person than I would have been. if I never met you

and if we hadn't done the podcast. So I'm just excited I'm excited for new challenges to for to see where comedy goes to see what I end up doing because you're right like starting a podcast now is

is hard. I'm going to do something online. I wish I had an answer for you. I don't know what it is. I've been thinking a lot about it. But I'm excited for people, people to to see like the fruits of your fucking labor, the fruits of, of, of, of, dude, I, the only reason I started stand up is because I would go with you to shows.

I would go with you never once going on, I would sit in the back. You'd give me edibles. I'd be highest if I wouldn't talk to anybody. I would just see you and your openers, like Augustino. And, and, and, and all the people who opened for you, Matt Fultron. He'll be in next week. Next Monday he's the guest. Oh, I love it.

To promote his... He has a new special, right? Yeah. And to listen to how your sets change, like the CDs we edited, I... It's just, it really, it was an educate,

it was more than an education. It was, it was, I don't know. It was, it was, it was, it was, a rebirth. Oh, my. It was hands on. You saw a lot of things.

You heard, Listen, man, you had a very... I don't know how you're going to look at this, but I want you to look at that. You were with a lot of people who dropped some great fucking info on us. Oh, my God. We had guests that, you know,

I still remember the guy from Guns and Roses telling us a story while he went back to college to get a master's degree in business because he saw what happened to sline the family stone. We had Henry Rollins... That's exactly what was just going to bring up.

What's that? Henry Rollins Robbins dropped some fucking heavy knowledge. And they always send us their love. Every time I see somebody from CA, they go Henry and Heidi. Oh, yeah. They send you their love. And just like all, dude, as a, just as a, like, the non-comic guests were sometimes way better. But even just as a working comic, as an aspiring comedian, we had every headliner in L.A.

Like, like. I think Burke came in. I'm sorry? Burr never came in. Yeah, Byrne ever came in. There were a couple that didn't come in. But for me to, there was a couple, like, Gabriel was huge.

Theo, like in that 383 might be the best podcast we ever did. Sebastian was good. Sebastian was great. All of them were great. But Ralphie, Ralphie was special for me because I had seen him before. Like, and to meet him and, and to see how sweet he was.

and especially because 95% of the guests who came on were very nice to me. And there weren't really many mean ones, but there were some who like, and I get it, they'd come and say hi, like, hey, and then just immediately to you, which is fine. Because I'm, I watched the guys. I watched a lot of guys to see how they would treat you. But then, but for Ralphie to. Everybody gave you a lot of respect. There was a few guys.

Oh, and it wasn't even a risk. They never came back. They never came back. Well, yeah, well, yeah, the people who were assholes, yes, you're right. But just to see, even before I knew I wanted to do stand-up, to see what it actually takes to see what they were happy with, what they were unhappy with. And I have no idea what's going to happen in my career.

I'm hoping. This is what makes the comedy career. Yeah. That you don't know what happens. If I get a job, I know every 90 days I'm put up for a raise. That's all I know. And I have to live with a 3% raise increase. Whoopee.

You can't control. With this shit, you want to rock, you rock. If you want to roll, you roll. And if you just want to sit there and tell you somebody knocks your door, that's your fucking agenda, too. That's all comedy has ever been. You taking it to the heights on your terms. You know, I'm not trying to take over the fucking world. I never was.

Oh, well, through comedy, we're going to heal. Go fuck yourself. If you believe that much of your comedy, go fuck yourself. through comedy I learn how to control my world. You learn how to control your world to a fucking dot. And you know the more you give, the more you're going to get back. So when people come to you and they go, hey, we want to go do this and light fireworks. You go, my time is more valuable.

I'm very grateful because I'm about to go on 19 years without doing coke. Yeah, I could have gone to rehab or the spirit of God came in me. The spirit of love of my comedy came to me. How much longer am I going to work against myself? I'm doing great, but then I'll go do an eight ball four nights. And I got to showcase the next night so I can't feel my material. So that's controlling your own world. It's a process of elimination of what doesn't work.

I'm not going to improvise no more. It doesn't work for me. And sticking to your guns, that's what comedy gives you. I don't know any art that gives you that. You control it. Music does it to a degree, but I'm not a music. I'm a musical artist, so I don't know. Right.

But I know with comedy, I'm 63, and I pull something out of my ass once a week that I'm learning from you, George, anybody. You're right. But I think if I'm going to take one thing from 15 years, and I don't even do a great job of it now, but I'm getting better, and there's something I'm going to work on,

is how calculated you are. Even if it looks like you're not, or even if you don't know what you're doing, you know exactly, and things might go wrong or things might need to be adjusted, but you have a plan at least to go,

at least you're not ad-libbing it. Just seeing what happens. Like, okay, here's the path I'm going to, I think I'm going to take. We might run into a roadblock or we might have to go back and then take a right. But that, like that, I think is,

is if I'm boiling it down to one thing, is to have a, is to create a plan. And, and, and, because I, I do that too much. And, and I, I think that's partially why I think this is a good thing is it's forcing me to be a little bit uncomfortable, because this has been very steady for me and very, it's been every, it's been every Monday and Wednesday, but every Monday since 2012, pretty, a few years off with COVID. but every Monday I didn't I was always with you doing a podcast and like it feels like I graduated high school and I'm about to go to to my freshman year of college right now. Oh you stayed in college for a long fucking time. You must have been late at.

Call me Bert. I'll take my shirt off. I'm sure you like that. But yeah, it's just I'm I'm excited to see what I'm excited to be able to go and and like try Canada. try, I'm going to do a tour of Joey can't go here. Because he doesn't have a fucking passport. You're going to see me fucking everywhere. Because I might not sell tickets in Tampa,

but I'll sell tickets in Saskatchewan. Whatever Joey can't go, I'll be. But I'm just excited to get better. I love, and I think I told someone that and I get it. I don't regret a second of being on the church.

but I think a lot of people who are watching and listening might not, they might just think I'm the fucked up guy next to you, which I wouldn't trade for the world. But I, to be honest with everyone, comedy is the hardest I've worked at, really anything. Anything. Anything. And I really, I genuinely, I'm not, I don't kill every show. And I, I try to keep my ticket prices as low as I can.

Some venues have different rules. so I have to do what I have to, what they say at this point. But I work very hard at it and I'm very, especially the last couple of years, I feel like I've gotten a lot better and getting to do the shows with you and be exposed to those kinds of audiences and have industry there and have expectations of shows and not, be not like, well, if I bomb in front of you, And I fuck up your show.

Do you remember the highest I ever got on stage was one of the Sony Hall shows? We took an edible. We took an edible and we got stuck in the Lincoln Tunnel and it took us a lot longer. And then I took an edible on stage and I, it was one of the worst. I'm Jewish. I've never turned down money, but I said no to you with a check and you forced me to take the check. But it was, it was like one, it was like a turning point for me. and I remember the first show I did back when I took about a year off

I don't know if you remember I came with my ex and we spent like a week down by you and you did Uncle Vinnie's and I did my first set back in like 18 months and I ended up destroying that relationship thank God but like I had taken I thought I was done with stand-up and the joy that I get from the podcast and how

like the happiness that I have on stage and I said it a few weeks ago and people, some people got mad and like, oh, oh, you're not happy with this, you're not.

And I'm sure you deal with this. You have a thousand things going on in your head. You have your wife, a family. For that 20 minutes that you're on stage that you don't think about any, it's just like a vacation to not have any other stresses.

Nothing else is going on, but what's going on stage. Just the people in front of, of you. That's all that's going on. It's my favorite. It's just, it's like, oh. You wish the world was like this every day.

Yeah. Like you could just walk into a room. And not have any other worries. And it's, um, thank you for, for making me be on the podcast. And thank you for sticking by. And like, the podcast was a big part of it. But dude, I spent, I spent years in LA that it was, it was thank the Thanksgiving before mercy was born.

It was me and you on your. living room floor and Terry bought Thanksgiving dinner from Boston Market didn't even eat it because she was so miserable. And but like we spent holidays together. You met both of my parents. You, you, you've done things for me that,

that no one else would, um, and the people, the people that you've introduced me to, the people who are watching. And, and that's, I didn't come down there to,

to end it. and I'm the way it happened, I'm happy because you see it all the time on like podcasts or anyone who works together you're going to butt heads

and that would that would just suck. It would, I'm much happier that we, that you get to grow. Now the podcast will be different and you'll have guests on and I won't come back to like it.

Who knows if Netflix will even be around. It'll be something else. Until you come. Don't come back until you pull up with a white Cadillac. Oh, somebody told me, that's what my teacher told him, you're not welcome around here to you pull up with a white Cadillac. Yeah, fuck it. And I know I'll keep, I'll talk to you and I'll see you.

Something I was thinking, it reminded me of the letters you wrote to your judge. And I think that's my plan. I'm going to call you, of course. But I want to write you a letter. Or just an email every week. It's going to be all right, Lee. I love you, brother. You don't have to say anything more about it.

I learned a lot in this podcast also. I learned a lot about the time with you. You were like a son, you still are. And that's it. I got the Brooklyn Improbs. Number 30. Find me on Patreon. at me on Patreon

I'm happy we did this I'm happy that you're going on your own journey I'm very proud of you most people have just kept coming here and being miserable I was never met but I know what you're saying but I appreciate it's been a great 15 years

we'll leave we're going to miss him as a family I know George's going to miss him and that's it you know he'll still be in our lives we'll see him from time to time of me he's in the city like I'm going to call him to go get a

pizza, he's got to take two hours to get by me. Fuck it. The pizza, that one pizza, that new one you found, the last time we kept going to your house is good. I'll come, I'll drive two hours for that. Yeah, I bet you will, cocks sucker. But that's it. I love you. I wish you all the luck in the world. I wish you all the luck in the world. I wish you your family grows, and this is an education.

And I just want the world to what they saw. They saw two fat bucks that had no idea what they were doing. He came from editing background. I came from a snorting coke and and comedy background, and we made this work for this long, through adversity,

we couldn't find an office, we just kept going. You know, I felt bad for a while because we didn't take a day off. I don't believe in it. I didn't believe in it. I think we didn't take a day off for three years,

then we took the Christmas week off. It was longer than that, but yeah, we didn't take a week off of the podcast, I think, for four to six, and then we took one But even for that week I'm almost positive We did an extra recording

Like we never They've been with us every week Since 20 Since I told you one time That if I would have done this podcast for you While I was doing Coke We started doing 7 o'clock in the morning You would have fired me after the first week

I would have got late there Monday I wouldn't have showed Friday Wednesday I would have showed Monday And then crashed out on Wednesday So we both gave ourselves opportunities. Here we are 15 minutes later. What dates you got coming up? I got a bunch. This week, I'm in Buffalo with Josh Wolf. I have Boca and Tampa and then in November I have Portland,

Oregon, leesayet.com, all of my dates, all of my social media. And thank you. I hope to see all of you out there. And I know you have a lot of shows coming up. So you don't even have a, you don't think you have a website, but you have, you have Chicago, Wisconsin. Chicago, I got Riverside Theater in November 7th.

I got Philadelphia Casino Parks on the 25th. I got a, you know, I got those dates in Austin, which I'll keep repost them. I have somebody make me a nice supplier down there. And that's it. I appreciate you. I wish you well. Thank you. You're always a friend of the churches.

You're always a friend of me. So what can we do, brother? Just two guys moving on. I love you, buddy. I love you, too. Have a great week. Any dates, brother? Tampa, Boka, Portland.

All right. I love you guys. See you next week. Tip, Top McGoo, and have a great week. If you're on Austin this Thursday, I'm doing the early show at the mothership, 7 o'clock, I'll get you out by 8.30, you can still be eating ass by 10. Who's better than you?

I love you guys. Have a great week.