Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - The CHURCH: BEST OF ARI SHAFFIR, VOL. 1

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Best of Ari Shaffir on THE CHURCH:   197 - Aired - 7/22/2014 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NhJxoz26Oy8&t=1s   221 - Aired - 10/14/2014 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mhx8N0ksMyw&t=311s   249 - Aired - 1/19/2015 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6w5Nprnldr4   362 - Aired - 7/13/2016 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ho-7h1kqZkk   489 - Aired - 6/12/2017 - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lD5ZGOaO-NQ   This podcast is ALWAYS presented by ONNIT!   Go to https://www.onnit.com & Enter PROMO CODE: JOEY, JOINT or CHURCH

Music Yeah, pop pop them in. What's up my little brother? What's up man? I can't sit in the lift. Your hour? Yeah, you're flying back out to Montreal, my brother? Yeah, I'm going to there. I'm still on show tonight. So you got, you're up there for three weeks. This is already a field, all I am, by the way, for everybody who's wondering. No.

Hi everybody. Mind the business. What was last weekend? The last week was the dirty show? The last time the dirty show was slated in Bataló and then let's go. Did you say slated? Slated, yeah.

How was it it's so I he's worried about the future he's really worried did you told me what to do did you told you a little bit uh I started to a trim but then he all he started he knows he might know he's like he's like you know just so calm like uh I try to look you know a little bit. It's not your you don't use the pie. I know now. It's a bunch of them so good. Oh, I still know what he tried to frame me on Facebook. Me and Ralph he was sitting at Ralphie fucking did the podcast and let the cat out of the bag on the podcast. How I used to torture

him and shit and somebody else asked me about it. How I used to tell him I put it under his fucking milk container and he'd say, where the fuck is it? I don't know, it's under the milk container. Jesus Christ, my daughter stole it. And he took it. The first time I went, it was so great. When you told him, like, hey, are you, are you, are you the love blow? He's got a package coming for him. He was friendly with me. He was extra. He looked at me all the way here. He's like, where are you going? Nothing, I guess that sometimes I'm going to meet him.

What are you going to meet him later? Because the different man come down. He gets so into it. Oh, he's a great guy, man. The reason why I want to have you on today is because I've been in what's called the conundrum the last couple of months because you have this is not happening now But it's going from the internet to prime time TV on Connolly Central 11 o'clock at night prime fucking time brother. This is a show that started for five bucks at the fucking improv back room

on a Tuesday night at Thursday nights me Mark Marin remember we all did that fucking one show over there yeah yeah I'll figure those out right Steve Steve AG yeah we all that's when I told the Pink Floyd thing but it's so weird that it all started and now it's on a television thing you called me I'm gonna do one of the episodes in September at the Cheetah. We're going back to the Cheetah and It's so weird. It's just this writing this writing fucking process

Has just been I don't know are we this is really changed me Well, it's kind of fun to be like Just sort of think about those things. I'm not that I'm thinking about those times until I get a topic and then I start wondering what happened. I call my high school friends and friends. I'm like, do I ever get into, you know, wherever the topic is, I'm like, anything happened on memory and it reminds me of stories. I'm like, oh yeah.

Oh yeah, we start to get toothbrushed up or asked. That's right. Whatever it was. Just wonder to like, relive those days and stuff. And it's so fun, like whenever I do those things, I usually think about it, I make little notes, and then I make calls.

I'll try to call people who were around me at that time, and I go, remember that time, and I go, yeah, didn't you fucking, whatever, like I called my uncle, because I wanted to get the whole funeral thing You know I call my uncle and we talked like a how and he was like let me tell you something on my fucking 74 years I never saw crazy if you know than your mother's And that's what happened he goes do you remember the first night? And I go now and he goes you know the first night with Zerrider, how she had to fucking honor by the neck

and three people had a break in the party. And I go, oh my God, that's right. It was the opening night. All white people came to that one. That was all white one. Like everybody from the neighborhood came, their parents, the kids from the neighborhood. I was never so embarrassed in my life, aren't I? Because as a writer, it didn't go off on the afternoon one.

You know, you usually have a two to four viewing, then they have a four to seven or six to nine. A Cuban week is 24 hours for five days because that's how I did them in the old country. You put the body in your house and people just came to your house. So this thing, like dictator, like in your living room, in the old days, when you died, there was no funeral bothers. They put you in a casket and they put you in the living room. And then people came over and they drank and they, and they, whatever they did,

they pissed on you and they went fucking home, no big deal. So, he wanted to have that same Cuban feeling in this Cuban funeral parlour. It's called Rivera O funeral parlour, still in North Bergen. It's a different owner though, like I made millions and got the fuck out of it. And I'll never forget that the first day of the funeral, man, not the two to four one. But the 79, I'm a young kid. I'm still in shock at my mother's diet. I'm having a conversation with some kids about basketball. And all of a sudden, I'm hearing in Spanish, my cow and go to a mall, you were pulled out there while my father

means fuck your mother. I'm gonna kill you and shit. And I go on the other room and it's the right it's got the fucking owner by the throat and there's three people and she's pointing at them and she's yelling at them and I'm like, what's going on? And she told me that my mother didn't have the right dress on. And I'm thinking about that, going, who gives a fuck, she's dead. Do you think she's worried about what dress?

She's, she's fucking dead. You know, but just, I'm not sure. And I'm my uncle saying that there was a they did like some Santoria stuff The first day at the funeral. I didn't remember to see that and he goes to the day they buried it They still hadn't cleaned that water up and that the water tipped over in the jaw and the limousine and that the limousine drive I do remember that pulled over and couldn't drive because the water Is it a Santoria? Is it a Santoria water still?, the Santeria water had like chicken blood in it

or all this goat blood and shit that killed all these animals and it was in there mixed with feathers and shit and the fucking thing that you're supposed to throw it in the hole with it and the thing tipped over and the fucking limo smelled like gas the limo drive out of the pullover, he couldn't drive, he kept puking. This was fucking the funeral from fucking.com. People were drinking, people were doing blow. I'm not the first time they ripped out like a bottle of pinch because my mother drank pinch. So they ripped out a bottle of pinch, which is like a whiskey. And the funeral probably was like, guys, you cannot drink at my funeral.

I will lose my license. And they just looked at them like you better get back in that fucking room. We're gonna drink So all these things I got from my uncle I remembered I remembered the one night that was a night that always stay with me but Back back to what we're talking about here. It's just amazing. Ari, what you've done with us because I don't worry about shit. I usually, when I write a joke, I write a joke and I put it out there, whether they like it or not, it's a joke to me. And just by the sound of it, you know what you're going to keep it or not. You know, this is something that we get to put out one time. We really get the practice.

Exactly. You've one time pretty much and then you're done. then you're done you get to practice it a little bit you know but not really because people look at you wheel like we're at a comedy show why are you telling me about your dead fucking mother you can work out of comedy show but it gets weird sometimes yeah I tried to do it together my people like what the fuck are we going with this shit Joey so I'm gonna have to have Leah take me in the fucking here and we'll send it to you and see what you think. But it's just really weird, all right man, it's just

I like riding. Pretty cool, isn't it? Starting off with like 12 people in the audience. Moving to TV. Underfoot. With no booze. It's right there's no booze in there. You can't bring booze in. That's what we got booze next door. The first two or three of them we had no booze. That's right, there's no booze in there. You can't bring booze in. That's not even good booze next door. The first two or three of them we had no booze. And then after that you put a name on it. Somebody showed up and you moved it to the big room.

And there was no looking back after that. Yeah, they were getting mad because the line up was so good. And they were like, what do you have fucking Joey Diaz and Bill Burr and Jim Jeffries in the little side of over $5. I'm like, I'm not to lose the kids. Do you want to book suckers? Can you give me a small room? I have to get to do that.

Yeah. It was a big room. Yeah. When you write some of these stories, when you're thinking about some of these stories, like your sex ones, do you fucking get fucked up for a few days? Like, these things like I always do. Yeah, sometimes I just know it. I travel times as an ending like like title together. And like, you know, there's no real beginning or ending to a story. I mean, like even that funeral, it's like it doesn't begin

at the funeral, it begins you and your mom were close, you know, it begins way before. So it's like, what point you started, what point do you end it? It's been cool, I'm learning the process. Even if you're watching other comments, there you learn a lot. You know, I watched the all the series, I watched Rogan, I watched Moshe Kishie, I watch, I don't even know some of the fucking names, come on, yeah. And it's really interesting. It's really interesting the different styles of storytelling there are also. You have to chase until you're even in U.R. Yeah. Different than, you know, other people, today, whoever, Champagne. Yeah, it's cool. It's like there's no right way.

So people just do whatever chump and yeah it's cool it's like there's no right way so people just do it however do you go about right at the same way you read jokes well both of you like the same process when you sit down and write a joke is the same like the same way you go and write let's write a story because it's the point of it isn't to be funny like in a way I don't know if it's a different process yeah it's less it's like it's it's less. It's like, it's like, you know, any hall of the comedy, but it's not as many jokes as I can have a go more. Okay. You know, so it's like, it's slower, but, yeah, so you don't think it's much of a comedy because it'll be serious moments and that can be like, I can plot you to just set up the tension to punch line every five seconds.

It's such and stuff up. But people will go with it. The first time I saw one really good was Ralphie May. I was working a cover booth in the OR, the comedy store. And it was just shitty night. Nobody's doing that well. And Ralphie May was on in front of like four minutes, four minutes. He goes, you know what?

You guys are not an A-audience. You're not getting my A- jokes. You're not getting my B- jokes. And then, and then, and then he started doing this with the story about the first time I met Sam Kinnison. I went to the contest, and he was a 17-year-old. And Kinnison was doing key bumps in front of him, and he was 17-year-old. Like, what the fuck, you didn't know what was happening.

And then I tell you, you can watch him on cover with everybody, he it was when the edge of their feet, you know, like interested in what he was saying. It might not have been like, as funny as Ralph usually is like punch punch punch punch, but man, it was interesting. He get everyone's attention in a certain way. I was in the, I went to the movie today, I was in the bathroom. This old guy next to me farted at the urinal. And like, when I I was like 10 I was in the bathroom with my best friend and Wendy's this old guy farted and we both died laughing the ribs of the parking lot He saw us And I saw it and this guy farted next to me in the urinal the movie theater today And it took all my strength

It's fucking crazy It's funny when you fart I blasted a fart in the bathroom, man. I put a bathroom in my mouth to go, everybody freaked out. Everybody, it was a long one. I was at the end of the pee. When you're fucking your rain, you're tightening it up and shit. I blasted one a long one.

And people looked at me and I thought, that's what you blasted, Farts. I guess not. I guess not. one, a long one. And people look at me, that's what you blasted for. I guess not. I guess not. Oh, my. I guess you got to blast them in public. I did one of them in the bathroom this weekend and Paul started laughing because of my bedroom

and all that far from my bathroom. I had this big fort and she just started laughing. So, I think it's pretty cool. What else do you do all weekend? Not much. We had her mom's birthday dinner and then we picked her up Saturday and went to the gym Watch some TV watch Patriots Sunday. Hey, when yeah, everybody happy Bill Bella check good

Yeah, I was good. I mean, I was just I was worried cuz the bills I was we're gonna lose But looks like we're getting better. Beautiful. I don't know how the bills the bill the bills were doing pretty well And we were tied for first what yeah, it's only six games in the season He's a cowboy Ortiz has testesco cancer David Ortiz you hear that? Fuck yeah Now would the cobweiss meet up on Seattle sea hawks they smacked they weren't right at fucking Sherman

They took it to him. They played like men. That's how you do it. Yeah, a couple of Freak plays a punk up lock for a touchdown and Something else happened some fun before a touchdown and they still came right back and fucking last minute drive Roma wasn't Roma Amazing five and one they're gonna make the playoffs man. the first I was done. I thought six and ten this year Look at you look at the boat. They're gonna break my heart again. They're gonna break my fucking heart again on week 17 Like they always do unbelievable. I of course want to Denver The improv very nice very nice nice people. I want to thank everybody that came out at a great time Metal Brad for 20 brothers This fucking the blunt of death gram blunt the death, which we're gonna spark up

Actually showed all alien O.J. I make a video of I believe it'll be passed out like the girl in 16 candles. I had three quarters of an edible brownie today So what were you going deep today? We need some milk with this. What fucking milk? What's that colloquial? That's smoking. Just smoking. Bring your milk to Joey's, like bringing up rents, dressing. Why?

Don't talk him. I love chocolate milk. Let's get some chocolate milk and corout through this. Where were we going to get chocolate milk? 7-11. No, there's no 7-11 around here. What debt? The 7-11 everywhere.

Where? This looks like Bodegaville out here. There's no 7-11 around here. There's 7-11. 10 blocks that way. Oh, yeah Low Canyon. Oh, yeah, but there's one off of Burbank Yeah, oh, that's a lot of you know. There's no seven elevens in Dayton Ohio. How come I don't know because it can't support it There's no seven elevens and all of Dayton the closest one is fucking Columbus. Would you fly out of Dayton?

All they have a local airport. Yeah, international airport. Tremendous. No, Denver was very nice. Dayton Flyers, that's where fucking Wright brothers were. After North Carolina. So, I don't know, I look at the pictures. Yeah, like something to every day.

Like the pictures they have for it. Denver was very nice. I was very impressed with it. It was, I hadn't been to Duke Hamlet in a long time like that, like by myself, just a- How long? Decade? 94. Wow. I hadn't been to Duke comedy in a long time like that like by myself just how long Tuck it 94 20 years 96 was the last I went into the triple run. I did Craig. I

Did a Craig Somewhere up close to Aspen and whatever was sadly, man. That's the last time. I was a girl I was dating the girl named Carol when I found the aluminum former asshole And I fucking it to go with me. I was a nightmare. It was a fucking nightmare. I'm sure she loves it That's how you remember her. I still tell him there. Yeah, she's getting married She's gonna ask the two weeks ago. So let me ask you something Does he know how many dicks you said? And she's like now and he's not gonna know

He thinks like your breath is fucking minty cuz that's gum. He doesn't know that that's fucking You probably got fucking Testicular fucking nut sack cancing and mop that tastes like fucking Why you guys gotta get me on that type of stuff when you ate on Thursday What I the teacher own burrito and the Tater Dome. Right, listen, listen. There's certain places that you go to, yeah.

Like Ari and I went to Denver one time. First thing we did was we walked around the corner and we got green chili. Yeah, at that place. Oh yeah, yeah. That's it. Listen, that's it. That's it for Denver.

You don't go to Denver, you gotta stay, or cheeseburger, well, they have an Italian hero. Listen, stop it. Stop it. You walk into a place. You look at the menu. They got the port green chili soup. You walk in there and you go, let me get a fucking cup of soup. Don't ask if it's spicy. Don't ask. Just bring extra tortillas and then you decide if it's good, bring the cup. If the cup is good, then go all out and get whatever you want

But you're gonna smother it with the green chili just it'll be good. Yes So the first thing I did was because they have what people don't know or some people do know is that they have different kind of Mexican foods The food you get in San Diego is different in the food you get in LA. Yeah, but it's completely different in the food you get in Southwest No Yeah, but it's completely different in the food you get in the Southwest. Dallas. No New Mexico, New Mexico Colorado Utah Santa Fe

Santa Fe. That's what they have. They have green chili when you go to Texas. It's text mex. Yeah, Chooies Papacitos, yeah, all that week the casal and all that stuff So you have three different areas, maybe even four. I don't know what the other might, one might be. Tom Kroll is just talking about that. He said it's some truck went by and said, authentic Mexican food goes, dang, authentic Mexican food,

because they ain't any authentic Mexican food. I make fucking San Diego Garber, the carbon Mexican food. That's a neck I make too. He's like, be honest about it. Well, it's the American. We have the American eyes. Yeah. It's still Americanized. But but they still have there's a lot of things that are very to do, you know

Tacos of fucking tacos, but they fuck it up in the East Coast. I've never I like hard shell Nothing I'm bad. I'm just saying it's not the same and like when I moved here I had never tried like a taco with cilantro and onion I had never tried like a taco with cilantro and onion But my mom made like no East Coast hasn't had fucking Mexican food since Jesus left. I know. It's so weird horrible Just they didn't migrate and even the the ones that migrate the good Mexican food in the East Coast you have to pay for it It's fucking it's 19.95 a dish for like you know two inch allotters and a bean taco and not bergen has one.

What? I grew up not bringing a used to be Gregory Sam Maywitz. And they have an upscale one and four leaf which is a tequila bar. But my friends go and they're like bro we dropped 60-80 bucks every time we go in that. I don't understand that. I was telling Paula last night we were walking by this place on Ventora and it was like a fancy Mexican place and the best Mexican food are tacos and it's garbage food at its heart it's garbage food so don't fucking doll it up too much just eat

it as it is but that's good fucking yeah there's good and bad but I like the stuff and saying the egg of the stuff by the comedy store though the Rosa readers by the denys uh-huh by PB the barring right across shit behind that's open 24 hours. What's the place on Western? It's so good. The restaurant? Yeah. It's a restaurant.

Yeah. The one on Western is the one, Ocho Lo. Ocho Lo. And that place is good. That shit's the fuck around. It's the clock, right at your table, the spicy guacamole. Shit, and the margaritas there.

Yeah, I used to play the main Joshua Feast the Cater and the main thing wasn't the money. It was to take a gallon of those margaritas there. Yeah, I used to play the game. Josh Wolf used to cater for them. And the main thing wasn't the money. It was to take a gallon of those margaritas. You always told the help we were out of margaritas. But we only three gallons, they're out. These motherfuckers drink like fish and hit me when you got one of the trunk. When you poked up a gallon of that fucking margarita juice

that they have down there. Was it hot though, even the trunk? Who gets a fuck? You put on ice in the now. Are you taking it now? I know, but still. No, you just I'm in the trunk. Who gets a fuck? You put on ice in the hour. Are you taking an hour? I know, but still. No, you just put it in the car. And you fucking leave it back there.

You cater at night. Come on, leave. It's your fucking head. I'm never catered. Yeah, so you put the fucking thing in the truck to have ice in there from the catering. You can tell them whatever the fuck you want. It's, we're all out.

Let me see you all three of them, okay? Whatever. So we take a fucking gallon home with us. And those margaritas are delicious and they will fuck you up so if you're a margarita fan your Mexican food fan El Cholo and western boulevard western delicious and it's a lot better than that baby yeah yeah it's not that bad it's not that price ain't no it's a bit like 12 13 you know that's it you can have a great time it's not that it's fucked they had a blue corn tortillas

or whatever the blue tortillas won't like in two months of year. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a good date place too. No, it's been that- Well, the margaritas. The margaritas. Yeah, the margaritas. In bolder it was a place that you had three margaritas

and they cut you off because they made them with grain alcohol. What? So you didn't even taste the fucking grain alcohol. Oh, you are. Ha, ha, ha, ha. And next thing you know, pop-a-am. Fucking delicious. What so you didn't even taste the fucking the grain alcohol? Oh, you are And next you know pop bam Fucking delicious and at once time they had dollar mark readers little ones

So people going in and get fucking lit. I used to go and eat the black beans were the best in there They had a mix of like refried beans and black beans Just just delicious, but all that stuff, you're right, it's not authentic. It's like, but it's not about that chalupa. Ask a Mexican what a chalupa is and who looking and go, I have no idea. Because they didn't invent it. It's like chabada bread. That's not a town. That's some fucking Gentile.

So let's be different. Really? Yeah. John Chabada made a... John Chabada made a... Well, they may call it something else, but that's garbage. So let's let's be different really yeah Well, they may call it some mouse, but that's garbage. I hate that shit. I hate your bottom Really, yeah, I love it. You know, I heard I heard sushi's not that huge in Japan I heard that's like not like that. I always have like the main dish It's different. It's like fucking like dirty birds and shit you eat dust and Seeds and seek clams and shit and your fucking fish has been stabbed They throw back in the water. Yeah, so you see what the knife wound was shit like that

You know shit like that. That's what it's different. It's freshly This was later. What was this reinvention sergeant peppers lonely hearts club But what was that supposed to be about? I have no fucking idea it was so long ago but the cover was tremendous. Yeah so much in there. The cover was tremendous. The flowers and the shape of the guitar and it says Paul's dead. Oh it says that on the way. They played the whole trick in the United States. The Paul McCartney was dead.

These fucking saps fell for it but it was tremendous marketing. Yeah. They didn't know at the time. That was the most brilliant marketing they had ever fucking ran. They played I'm the Walrus backwards and it says all that crazy. I just started getting vinyls and a couple of them had really cool like artwork and then I got to Steve Martin when it had a set list in the on the back it was pretty cool I never had anybody that's a cool thing to put on it it was a photocopied set list on like a car on the back of like a cardboard headshot it was pretty cool yeah I someone got me one and it's like kind of a thing now

to get back in the vinyl but somebody got me a vinyl so I got it. I got you a bill Cosby with a pill in it You say what a film I Got a whole bunch of Cosby albums for Steve Simone got me giving a whole bunch of albums. I know now I wonder if they're I Wonder if any of the sets or the Spanish fly sets that's gonna be fucked up is he does do a set about Spanish fly It's I mean, I remember hearing about that in camp But the when you see him say it now after all that stuff is out. It's like very king like Spanish fly that was big when I was right. I was big

I don't even know if it worked the guy left Spanish flies Glocka apartment went into the grocery store He's girlfriend found it trace on found it came back. She was dead pumping the fucking Stick shit friend the old sense he gave it to his grandmother To see if it was worth we all shipped them again like five hours And he gave it to his grandpa isn't your friend's grandmother? Not me. He poisoned his own grandmother didn't poison her Set her free. He just set that bitch free. He's in fact, it's his birthday today Michael's these 54 I see in the Facebook What's happened you bad mother fuckers a beautiful day to be alive had a very fucking interesting evening We get evening at a greater

Morning, I went I had fungi. I still got fungi with my toenail So I go get laser fucking beamed off if you got fungi on the atone. They'll go get a laser beam door for this fucking Trim it everybody wants to live in the future here's your fucking chance They shoot laser beams right in your toes. They get a hose with like water, with ice in it. And they condense it. I don't know what the fuck they do. When they blow it on your toes, the freeze them,

then they beam it, because it gets hot. Everyone's like, ah! And it burns and you can smell your fungus and your toenail, frying, and the fucking air. It's only 10 minutes. I gotta go today. I gotta go next Monday and the Monday after that, I'm gonna rub some fucking maluchess.

When are you starting fungus in your toes? Yeah, 10 years ago. And then what does it do? It pushes your toenail out and the fungi develops underneath. And then so what does it say? You ever see people that have a fucking fucked up toenail and it hangs over when you go to the pool? Yeah.

That's what it looks like. I caught it. I keep it good and I paint it. I try this while he read a jujitsu. I put a fucking bandaid on it, but always falls off. Paint it. And people see that fucking, infested fucking toenail. I would give somebody a 50 to sniff it. Just sniff that motherfucker.

Oh, no way. Put that big old toe against the nostril and take a big old fucking like it was. A lick or a sniff. Does it smell? Yes, it smells. It doesn't smell like you don't smell in the air. Cause sometimes native, late at night,

I cut the toenail underneath it smells. Underneath it smells harm. You let that, it's like a toe jam, but a little tougher. And you smell it around your finger, and then you put that ball on your counter Yeah, you wake up a moment you smell that ball. You almost fucking die That's disgusting mail shit sometimes I'll do that I'll dig underneath the toenail like like I'll have here And then I'll dig if that's a toenail like under like that and then smell its left

Oh, it's horrible twit that will live leave people, they all sweet them. I don't know, I forgot, shit. Welcome to the church of beauty. I did something this weekend that was completely out of my fucking character. Mother, I drove two hours for the Jitoo tournament. Two hours? I'm the five. I'm a Saturday.

To watch one, yeah, at three o'clock, and I had two in the afternoon, I decided, me and mine, I had a chance. I thought you were joking. I thought, no, man, you know, I don't do much. And people come to the shows and stuff, and how he's feel guilty. I don't go to enough things like that.

Yeah. Like, I can focus. At this point in my life, I can sense it for a basketball game, a football game. You went to a Lego game. What's a Lego game? You know, you experience it.

But I can't go watch stand up or improv comedy. I'm gonna watch a play. If somebody knows of a good play in Hollywood. You know what I thought of on the way here? Let's go see that angel at Landsbury play. I wonder if she's still good. I heard she's freaking really good down on the... I mean she's been an actor for 75 years. It's right there right on the power... probably somewhere around there. Probably take a time to spend. I want to see if you can get better with it when you're that older. She's across the W. It's across the W. Yeah, yeah, they say it's a great... the Pantages. The Pantages. It's a... the Pantages. It's across spets. I want to see if you can get better with you when you're that older. She's across the W It's across the valley. Yeah, yeah, they say it's a great the pantagest the pantagest the pantagest is across the W

It's a great fucking Alice around the older they get the better they get I wonder if they stay sharp Mm-hmm at their 70s they can be a fucking powerhouse murder. She wrote was in like she was old then That was a long time ago how she's still alive Those people take care of yourself. We think Lee. That was a long time ago. How's she still alive? Those people take care of yourself. Sweet thing, Lee, how was your weekend? You kind of like a little bit of yourself. I know very good.

I know very good. Do you see Billy Crystal's new thing? It's not like it's like a one man show. Comedians on comedians or something? No, well, no, yeah, they give him a new show. It's probably gonna be terrible. But his HBO special, like 300 Sundays or whatever. Yeah.

With his dad, it was like half stand up, half one man show with like pictures and stuff was pretty cool. Yeah, half his dad it was like half stand-up half one man show with like pictures and stuff Was pretty cool. Yeah half is watching the show no left not again. No, it had laughs I mean his entire audience is old is like 90 90 years old. He crystal has a precise Audience my mom loves him and they're older Jews and they go and that's their private joy really they dress up They spend a little bit they even take an extra 20 out of the ATM. Yeah, they live it up in Billy Crit There's just some Jews that Jews go out for and live it up like they make Jews proud And you don't know until you go like I see it because I'm a non Jew

So when I go like when I went to see Batman Miller I went to see Batman the 30 years of Phenomenal that middle of the three hours to do stand up shall think she'll dance But it was filled with Jews who for that night they forgot they would that was a cerebral yeah, like you could tell They were very nice, you know They won't smoke pot of nothing, but they'll get gold and they'll turn their head They'll smile and even the battle loosen up a little bit like all you shit one of the first non animated kids movies Like when I was a kid one of the first move like actual aole movies I saw was mr. Saturn and I my dad loved them. We had a VHS all right. Yeah, Harry mad Sally was massive. I forgot about that It just seems like a husband like I what how was he ever the movie that it isn't bad

Well, he plays a cop all right with another black guy with the the dancer He plays a cop and they fucking it's a Chicago movie though like Chicago cops he did that like in the 80s Billy Crystal's been uh doing with the cowboys say slicker city slicker yeah he made some good money he did some good ship Billy Crystal I said he's slick his hair and it's Sally there was some really good movies he was at huh my giant oh forget it but at least there was that well 300 but sundays is about him and his his love for the First father first father what they did that's what dads

You know so before man's what are you on though? I always songs that just like The actor version I never got to see any of Woody Allen stand up was he funny? I don't know. He hurts an album I have no idea. I think so, but I don't know. He was like deadpanish. Yeah, dead pair You know like very like oh, they all wanted to be the crazy you so wait wait wait wait. Yeah, what's the crazy? Who's the crazy joke of the 60s the reason why we're here? Lenny Bruce if you watch that the one I always talk to you the black and white one That's one of my favorite pieces of standup. Yeah. Yeah, man. Does, yeah.

I never seen any of that. Is it good? Yeah. It is good. You catch it. And you're like, damn. Damn. Look at this motherfucker.

I'm just kidding. Yeah, he was jazzy. He has a great rhythm to it. That was cool. Interesting. I had never been to a Jiu Jitsu tournament before. Oh, yeah. I tell you what the most interesting thing was about it.

What? Damn, I don't feel bad being that fat and then you get to gain a more. Why not? Because there was a ton of fat, you get to guys. Oh really, really? And they are tremendous after a certain level. Like after they hit a brown belt, they get bigger. Like they get bigger and fat, like, but a strong fat.

Yeah. And I saw this one black belt, a pole guard, and he almost ripped the other guy showed this off. Oh, because it's so big. He's holding it. He's holding it. He's just really fucking pulled him up. Yeah, if you're going to move that much weight every day, you probably get stronger.

You just get. Yeah. It was very interesting to see them take their tops off. I mean, I went to see something else. I didn't go to see that. I just went to see a tournament in the umbellies and Yeah, but cloth is a shit. That's it. I'm gonna find that out. You see like eight eight fights going on at once It was six fights at once. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that fucking, I mean, I was, and I appreciate that you jitter a lot. Listen, I was a kid,

when that one I lived in New York, when I was there, what's the kid's name, the black kid? Laranja. Laranja was there, we hugged, we had a great time, my friend, he was there. You know, when I was a kid,

not when I lived in New York City, and did karate with Laranja's father, when I lived in Jersey, I got to say three years of my life. You had to go to three things a weekend With this Karate in Gushenguru Karate where I went in Jersey. The guy's name was Kevin Norlander or something and he was a Vietnam that but he was not all there. Remember we talked about him Somebody called in and he was he still teaches and he wanted you to go to three things a month You only have one Sunday off a month or one Saturday.

So he would check them off. Like before you sent your application, he would check them off. So every month you went to the Bronx. That's what I did, guys. Before I started smoking dope, me and six idiots like you, we get together late in the morning with our karate geese, and we take a bus somewhere.

And we take a bus. We go to an auditorium with each spar not with each other in a tournament we do forms and then three of the six would take a gold or a platinum or whatever fuck the bells on and we go home once I started smoking pot I didn't want to be with those guys no more. Not that I didn't love on I was just too embarrassed they didn't get highly I already all they did was do karate so these guys didn't understand that world So the boy got high the boy distance myself from those guys, which was my fucking I Would have been a killer

Guys those guys were great guys, but that's what they did and that's this lifestyle 800 milligrams 200, you know me, I'm always ready to rock them all. That's all the irregular stuff. So we take the irregular and fucking, and some for 20 or the small 15, mean, frankly, we get like 12, 13 pairs. And that's when the third time we got caught. These dudes circled us and said listen you can't be doing this shit no more this is all

fucking angle. What you could do is pull buying from us from five bucks. But me and Frankie in those days used to drive down there when he was 16 and a half. It's the flea market? To the flea market. The English town in New Jersey was where which was a good fucking hour And we listened to Bachman turn her over drive that eight track Over and over we're gonna go take care of business They'll say me and him we're gonna go take care of business. This is like a theme song. This was there. We were gangsters We'd stop and get hot dogs. I know we stopped and got white castle, and at that age, I knew I couldn't eat white castle.

Why? Because I got such a bad headache. I couldn't leave the house the rest of the day. That next Sunday I woke up in bar. I didn't eat white castle again to high school. To your salty, maybe? Yeah, it was too much sodium. Also gross.

Also gross. Oh, they're delicious. They're awful. Listen, those little white castles with cheese steamed Are you fucking kidding me with some kind of the worst things in the world in a Pepsi? Listen You get right now. If right now we drove over to the one and they are terrible if it is not fresh out of the oven Yeah, and I mean like take it out and throw it into your mouth That's what it that what do you think we're gonna do?

You think I'm gonna say for two years, but I'm a days on people take him to go what? What days I'm a day what I Garry the I could be right next to one. Yeah, I like it get the three packets from rouse Steam him and he won't do Did you know that you get the three packets from mouth is a port a weekend a port That's the same. It's the same as so what you do is you take the fucking thing and you take a A little pie pan and you fill it with like a half inch of water and put it under it My friends do it all the time. We go over there. We're like where the fuck do you get these white castles? And they go listen if you listen to the people around they take a put them in the oven

That's not the way to do them. You gotta steam them the way they do. And you steam them, that's what I'm saying. So you think I eat that shit, but I'll tell you what, I'll respect the New York City. Every time I go to New York, I'd get two white cats and fries and biopapsi. Am I, are we lying, Lee?

I'm not taking a white cat, so I'm 91street. You do? We not eat on the corner like animals outside. We saw homeless The fries are good. They're really good fries the fries with the lit you agree with me the What about what the burgers their garbage burgers? What they're only for when you drunk the burgers. Oh God See here's the thing it's it's it's like as a kid I didn't have a kid I didn't even like them as a fucking kid I'm telling you as an adult you know what they're a piece of America since 19

I want how old is white castle? 19, 15 or something like that? Out of respect, you gotta go eat one. And you never die, they always say they will horse meat, whatever, it's the same shit they give you. And the shit I like as a kid, that's state to that. That's your mafia meat. You always talk about that.

That's your mafia meat, it's white castle. They have. It's still from our year. 1921, so whatever that is. 1921 one they've been serving food. Come on. Give me a fucking breather. It's not the it's not cuisine It's not already mortons. It's all like sheep utter 21 it's like It's like How is it get so gross? I don't know how to get so close

I want to know just be Frank get your surfing turf. I'm not his song. So all right The burger with the with the fish patty In white castle. Yeah, oh, it's a It's coach that I'll tell What the fuck you been though? I don't call you don't write You can you show you last time I saw you had a bald head and a leg, now you're short with hair. I got a cutter again. I broke and leg. What is it with you? You're like, you know, you're loving life and I gotta give you that much. You don't give a fuck.

And it doesn't matter, right? You have no responsibilities. You have an apartment. Hey, you have an apartment. You got no car. You said fuck it. You got a bicycle. That's right. I did. I did.

I did. And I said, brother, that's all. Who gives a fuck? You got a show in Calming City. It takes the sun. Yeah. It takes the sun. Listen, man, at the end of the week, that's all that man.

It's your happy. Yeah. I'm a good time. You're doing what you love doing your story comes out tomorrow On YouTube tell this story Lisa and how you feel I'm good. I had a fun day last week Did you what did you do? I went to the beach for the first time ever in LA Did you buy a really yeah? Yeah, where where where I had a well I was going I was gonna go to Malibu because I don't want to fight the traffic to Santa Monica, but Someone told me about point doom. Well, and I went there. I was great

What's going. Yeah, I heard about that. It's kind of scary though because they have really steep stairs And I was really high so the stairs were kind of scary but other than that makes one of the water hell. Yeah, that was the best part I went up and I went and all the way into my head and Fuck yeah, I like going all the way under I haven't done that and fucking like 15 something years probably how close it it was really cool. Oh Is everything out of those caves? I don't know. They had surfers.

They probably didn't have caves. Because you had to climb down a mountain. To get there? Yeah. To hell. But it was so fun. A lot of people got out of Italy? No, there was, well here's the thing.

It's March. And it was like a week day. So maybe they just, like, didn't have people. But there was no one. It was great. You know. Listen, I love the't have people, but there was no one was great You know Listen, I love the fucking beach Who doesn't love the fucking beach? It is great warm

I grew up on a fucking beach Okay, you know great sound effect What's that that's the other the cops the cops always Being a kid in the summers. I fucking grew up right in Miami. I'd go down to Miami for three weeks. And the last week my mom would come down and we'd get a hotel with the family. I stayed with her.

She was a godmother to their daughter. And all those, you know, we'd stand to be true eight days, you you know and go out there. I love the beach but it's such a fucking chore when you live here. It is but it isn't. Especially if you go to the 101 to the mall because the Santa Monica is going to be death and when I was in the middle. Why death?

The 4 or 5. The 4 or 5 which is there's no way. But in the other the best part about I didn't say I took my shirt off. I haven't done that ever. Hell yeah, man. I've never felt it was great. I'm so white. But I was always too self-conscious. Could you really fuck it? Yeah. That's a fuck. Yeah. At the end of the week, you got a little sun, little vitamin D D on your titties. I got high in the, there's actually a spot because it got too cold. So I climbed up the mountain and there's a spot,

you can just like look over the water, like they have a look out spot. And it was great and I just sat down like a road all day. It was like really fun. Well I spoke to you that morning, you sounded very enthusiastic but at the same time you sounded very like you wanted to go out of your comfort zone like you would done like you didn't want to sit around anymore you just wanted to see I like it too much so I'll do it all day if I could like I would if I could never leave my

house again I would that'd be fine but I wanted to try like I live in LA I might as well go and then But I wanted to try like live in LA. I might as well go and then If you were right like you always told me to like get some sun and just get out of the house. I House is the best. That's why I don't want to leave the jeep when you were then I just thought I'm gonna get like a fish burger. I wouldn't go burger at like a place No, but that's here's the thing what I Normally wouldn't go to a place like that and I normally would I don't like eating alone So we'll take it to go, but I stayed and I ended up talking to a guy and he told me about point two I was gonna go to random beach

so it's like Always it's terrible. I hate being social but it works. It did so that's why I'm trying to do it more I went into the beach in San Diego this weekend. I went into the water with my crutches on. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him.

I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him.

I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. I crushed him. Just dig in just dig in I felt down a couple times just standing up in the regular ocean How did he's three legs three legs once those waves? I was and I had two stars and me went to the red one so it wasn't anything But I kept thinking like if I died I was gonna be like the first person to like get blamed for weed

But it wasn't that like it was just I just I didn't I only went up to like my waist and then I just ducked under When the waves came to me. It was so much fun. I miss going to the beach a lot. And I was doing it a lot before Mercy came. Me and my wife were going down there twice a month at the beach. Remember I fell and I got a hole in my leg

and I got hit by the rock down there. I was going to the beach at times. Once my daughter came on, hit by the rock down there. I was going to beat you a ton. Once my daughter came on, she gets car sick either way. Whether we take the 101 to fucking, you know, the other way down Santa Monica with all the curves, you know, you get off, what the fuck do you get off when sunsets? We could do depending.

Yeah, no, no, no, no, no. We used to get off the 405 to sunset and then get off and make a right and go down that way. I guess the straightest would be the 405 to sunset and then get off and make a right and go down that that way. I guess the straightest would be the 405 to the 10. We used to go to that beach and then not a both way she gets sick so we stopped going and fuck it. I loved the goddamn beach.

You know the Jersey Shore, all that shit. But we were talking about something that you didn't fucking know about. Oh man, I just don't know. I know you did because that's no, that has to take it the way you need to be That's the one I do that's in your That's a fucking edible taking out. No, you have a boy. I'm right right right my phone Now what the fuck? Whatever this who gets a fuck what is so All right, sorry. Well, we're talking about we were talking about you hurt your leg before the fucking show

Oh, yeah, and we're talking about my skin thing. A couple weeks ago, I worked with Marilyn. I think I was talking about skin and dimensions and sizes and the guys like what is that? You ski and they go, dog. For fucking four years, that was my life. And nobody knew about it. No, we knew that you were scared. Nobody, I never, I got there in April of 83 and everybody busted my balls

they're gonna ski you know ski you know ski and my claim to fame was in Jersey one night my friends took me out it was midnight skiing at the Playboy Lodge this is how old along with this was Ari I know what it is to be cold walking the fucking northern New Jersey with the winds off the Hudson. In January, getting off a bus and walking up those three blocks, your ears feel like they're gonna crack. Fuck that. When I was skiing the first time with those animals and I got on top of that mountain,

that fucking wind hit me. I tapped out, I threw the skis down. And I told the guy to help me and they shot me down on a fucking thing You want to talk about embarrassment doing with a fucking grandma coke and my pocket and they ball in the room And I was like I'm not the skate. It's a typical If it goes through your jack I didn't understand how you gonna go skiing on ice when it's cold You're gonna fall and you're gonna fucking bump your head you know I just didn't feel the logic but once I moved to ask them my friends get why cuz you got powder yeah it's

complete two different words yeah the East Coast is way worse the we the East Coast was garbage like at that time at that time I didn't know I that's what I started on the East Coast. I didn't know what a good ski was. I didn't know. I had no idea. But all I knew was I didn't like the experience in Jersey. So here I am in fucking Snowmass Village, November of 83. And I'm surrounded by people. Fucking people.

Asked me if I'm going to ski. And I tell them, oh, no, I'm a retarded fucking New Yorker at the time. No, I don't fucking ski, fuck you people, I'm not even gonna watch. And one day I went up there and I went to get a bowl of chili, a bowl of stew at the stew pot. And I walked a long way and I saw these people zooming by. And I was like, when I said, I'm fucking

19. What am I doing with my life? What am I doing? I'm going with Jim and hit my bag. That's my fucking life. And I go to Aspen and I fucking take classes or whatever the fuck I'm doing. You know what? His, the deal, my neighbor was a manager at SportCalan. SportCalan's a big time sporting thing up there. And his dad died and he had to go back. So I lent him money. And when he came back, he gave me the money. He goes, listen, your first key lesson designed me and all the equipment, just like that.

Really? So December 24th. What? The dude I walked up there, December 24th, I had him spoken to him since he got him back and he gave me the cash back like a man. And I walked in there, December 24th, when I said, I'm ready to go skiing, he goes, dog, I'm busy, his fuck, I can't give you a lesson, but you're getting tightened up

with the best demos I got. This is, yeah. You go to Indonesia with this, this is $34,000 a piece in Indonesia. You're going to travel so long. Yeah,000 a piece in Indonesia. You're gonna travel so long. Yeah, you got like 20 years away. Yeah, just give them to the people at the police station. Take these the vitamins. Those blue Chinese people go down and

fucking flames in Indonesia. We ready? We're ready. This podcast is brought to you by hellotooshie.com. But days are back bitches, portable of a days that fit right in your bathroom and they work magnificently. Deal with it, motherfucker. Let me explain something to you. It's fall this day. I know you've looked at your dad from time to time

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press in. Church. Bam! And get 10% off also. Thank you for listening to the church. Kick that meal, Lee. On a beautiful Monday morning, slinging dick and giving out chopsticks. Lisa, I add here.

I think Irish are here. I'm here. I'm mostly here. I'm mostly here. That was a tremendous bomb. I told you. Yeah, there's new weed We're getting out here. There's new weed from the one I drew Jesus. This is killing motherfuckers. All right I tried to send you postcards. I don't want you Get to back. Don't come back. Don't come back too strong out nobody want to have the intelligence

Yeah, you went away for a long time. Joey was shine shoes no more this weed you smoke out there You would have laughed at it. It was that it's all brown. Oh, yeah, it's just like sticks of things Seeds oh, yeah, so many seeds what they charge depends where some places not much like ten bucks for like Like a ground up a you know like a shitty looking a Way to get the best we that Vietnam Vietnam Vietnam had good Yeah, one guy had it Like California weed It had been a long time it had been like two and a half months already

So just way better than anything I remembered. How was the food? Pretty good those body sandwiches. What a would love those quick bucket in a little bun Like like an aid enter They stuff it they it's like just fresh super fresh bread I grilled they got that from the French and the French invaded them and they just stuff it full of shit like what? chicken I then like like a little long carrot and some like hot peppers in there if you want like a little long carrot and some like hot pepper than there if you want. A little bit of salt is just their own like, you know, hoagie I guess. Now wouldn't we be getting out of first French?

French, the French got out and then immediately America is like, hell yes, we're getting in there. Because if you watch Apocalypse Now, the Reducts, they add those scenes. What scenes? Where they have in dinner at the French house and they get into an argument and the guide tells when the French are already gone. You know what, man? Or the French house and they get into an argument and the guide tells me the French are already gone. You know what man or the French is part of the house. The French is the French's house. This is the scene after they go and surf. Charlie don't surf and then they go to the thing and they see the playmates come down the helicopter.

From there they go on to the lagoon and they go somewhere and the movie turns the turn you know the apocalypse now when it came out in 79 it was a great cut it was a three and a half hour movie yeah but then for the 20th anniversary or something I don't know exactly they added that extra hour and a half hour and a half hour and five hours something something if you want to look it up we and there's a scene when they're in some guy that's French soldiers and they Have him dinner and they get into an argument and they explain to the American that you know You can't we can't believe what you're doing now that we already dealt with this so that's now yeah

I forget all yeah, they had like two successive wars there the French and they drove out the French and then immediately American's moved in they're like we're gonna take you over they never attacked anybody they just they were just there They called the American war there and How does Vietnam look today? It's alright Ho Chi Minh was pretty packed pretty packed. Yeah motorcycles everywhere it It takes you like 20 minutes to work out the curves across the street They just go. There's so many of them hundreds of them Yeah, I didn't over overdone like you just keep that district to go out farther and farther Maybe you fuck you America. No, not once. They like us now. They like us now. That was just an old government

They don't care about them. Well, are you going to like the Chinese anymore? Are you self? Korean or are Vietnamese or am I of Korean or Vietnamese descent? No, just ask me. I just, are you in South or what to be in, what I'm sorry. I'm not even being in the home, sorry. Jesus Christ, that's how. What was your question?

For a second, I was confusing Korea with being out. Did you think I was Korean or Vietnamese? Yes. No, no, no, no, no, no, I thought you were in Korea now, Vietnam. Oh, I got it. I got it What did you find out about a pack of snow for 50? That's what it finished with the four hours 50 minutes Yeah, for the redducks. God, Lee. That's so long. Yeah, you can't come on. You can't do that No, I can't do it. I've watched parts of the redducks. I can't lie to anybody. I've watched parts of it. It's just too long

Yeah, and I think it takes youucks. I can't lie to anybody. I've watched parts of it. It's just too long. Yeah. And I think it takes you somewhere you don't want to go. They've redone the Godfather. They've added all the scenes back. Really? Like, fucking nine hours. All three of them together.

All three of them together. You see them in chronological order? You see that? No, no, no, no. I think it's the first two and they put all the parts back. And it comes out, if it starts at 12 It goes till six o'clock at night HBO. Oh, and now I think Bobby Didn't Bobby put something up today on Facebook Bobby Sharon

They're releasing the Godfather for a week What do you mean in theaters? Yeah, oh that's week of the week after oh Re-releasing the Godfather for a week for the 45th anniversary. I think that's gonna be the move. I think that's the end of why, you know why? Because of Godfather IV. Because they're trying to purge a percent pre-hyped for it.

Really? Yeah, they're trying to give people talk about Godfather IV. Yeah, I think I'm gonna shoot a gun for them. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's like the grandson or something. Or like, damn, and like a war with somebody else. I don't know. I mean, I think maybe the son, maybe was that kid, maybe the kid grew up, the boy, a dumb boy. Yeah. Yeah. What if a dummy got, got in like, gotten head of the mafia. Seems like a comedy then, right? I guess that slow-witted son if he became the head of the mafia. I always happens.

I've thought for a while that they could I think the movie theaters could survive on just re-releasing the best of the old movies. And then and just re-rele- I mean there are movie theaters that show old movies, but if you just re-release like the best not every movie but just had like a time and summer yeah and you could do and you could do like marathons like if you wanted to do the all the guard fathers in one row yeah but just give the new movies a break until they get a chance to make less than this people are nostalgic about a lot of movies so what you do is 16 candles yeah yeah fairies be alone let's get Ferris Bueller yeah sure Ferris Bueller everybody loves Ferris Bueller you Let's get Ferris Bueller. Yeah, sure. Okay Ferris Bueller. Everybody loves Ferris Bueller

You want to re-release Ferris Bueller you'll get my seven dollars, but I'd rather you add two or three things You know two or three scenes that we didn't see. Oh, yeah, something every release it in the 30 second anniversary And I'll pay you the fucking 12 or whatever the fuck it is Ari. Yeah, I'm just saying that I don't mind All right, those are my favorite movies. I mean everybody's nostalgic about 16 candles or What's the other one? It is 16 candles with the Chinese guy? Yeah, they adopt the Chinese guy Still her underwear. Yes, he steals the underwear. That's a good one shows it off. We're Michael Hall That's right. That's I had the party Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's under a thing all those movies are phenomenal

You know the breakfast club was just on what I watched today Today I watch the second half is something that I said this never fucking comes on You know those movies if there's nothing to do yeah, I'm sure now let me explain something to you There's some people who like going to twentarentino state of the Beverly oh yeah yeah would you let me ask you something Lee because you actually go to more movies than myself and I yeah sure right I used to it would you go see one of your favorite old movies Rippala, at the Starlight, this is the Skylight. Arclight. And pay the $18.

See, I wanna pay 18, but here's the thing. How much is the Arclight? I think Arclight's around that. $253. And 15. And 15, something like that. So let's pretend now, let's not even talk about the Godfather, let's be fair.

Let's say, here's an example just for kids' marriage. Like we watched Goodburger a few months ago. It has a way better, like that. And that's not a classic for like a. Good burger really. But it's a classic for like stoner, like just for like kid.

But I think you could get away going from like the 70s and 80s, even not even the 90s. You could do the 90s if you wanted to, but just 70s and 80s, and just how you always get up mad at me for not seeing things, give us a chance to see it, and then because the only reason tickets are that high is because of these whatever it's called, the studios are making, that's where they make their money, so if they just re-released

old movies, they could lower ticket prices because they're not paying anything to get the movies out there. So they'd probably end up making more money because all they have to do is pay residuals. I would like to open up a movie theater. I would do it differently. Like I went to a movie theater in San Francisco in 1985, Ari, that you would have died. They closed it up, or maybe it's still open. It's on the tenderloin. It's on it's on Haydashbury I'm sorry, and it used to be close to the end and I saw a mask there The movie the chair and the little kid not the mask mask 1985 with share

Was she had the kid that was really ugly with the fucked up head? You ever see that? No, what a deformed mask Yeah, yeah, yeah,. Yeah Eric Roberts Eric Roberts So what I had to do was this movie theater. I don't know how they made money, but this is the deal Got a big head in that movie. Yeah, it was really and a real life was even bigger and he died summer and shit Did he really he died that summer Eric Roberts? Roberts? No, that fucking Eric Roberts fucking played. This is what they had. This is why I don't know if you can make money and be successful.

First of all, you'd have to put love seats because people go in twos. Go where in twos? To the movie theater. Yeah. So at this movie theater that I went to the San Francisco, in 85, they just had 23 man couches that look like the couches in La Jolla. Oh really all fucking busted and whatever they reded them

Real cool. Yeah, they had asterisks in there for weed and cigarettes They made popcorn with real butter and they made homemade Popcorn with real butter and they made homemade chocolate chip cookies not to fucking I like a guy was there packing the cookies and yeah Wow and they would come out in a bell would ring like a nice it was still look like 1950 in there you could still smell the sperm from the braless days, but it didn't matter I did matter. ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ‿ʻ� you