Uncle Joey's Joint with Joey Diaz - The worst thing in life is wasted talent with Chazz Palminteri

Episode Date: February 18, 2025

Oscar award winning actor, Chazz Palminteri joins Joey DIaz and Lee Syatt to talk about how The Bronx Tale went from a one man show into the hottest property in Hollywood, The UFC and MMA, why Chazz is fasicnated with stand up, and much more! Support the show and try BlueChew for free, just pay $5 shipping. Visit https://www.bluechew.com This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try and get on your way to being your best self at https://www.betterhelp.com/diaz   Support the show and get 50% off your first Factor box, plus free shipping. Use code FACTORPODCAST at https://www.factormeals.com/FACTORPODCAST

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I'm showing up with a gift you little bitches. Just visit BlueChu.com for more details and important safety information. And I wanna thank BlueChu for sponsoring the show and helping you motherfuckers sling dick like you're supposed to like God intended You know what I'm saying? We're back! It's a beautiful Tuesday morning to be alive. February the 18th we got a special guest, Mr. Chaz, Palminteri, Academy Award winner,

fucking diver, everything. He's done it all. Producer, the whole thing. And we got Lee Syatt over here. What's going on? And he owns a restaurant. I was looking, I was watching some movies this weekend and I looked, I just typed in your name

and I live in the city and I was like Chazz Palminteri. I was like, oh shit, that looks good. That looks great. I got two great Italian restaurants, 30 West 46th Street, Chazz Palminteri's at 264 Main Street. Jesus, you do everything. I didn't, and by the way, and sorry to start off like this, I had no idea that The Bronx Tale was like your story.

Yeah, that's, well, my real name is Collodural. And it's about this killing that I saw, and I wrote it, and Robert De Niro saw it, you know, before it was a movie, yeah. Holy shit. Yeah, it was a crazy story, man. Everybody wanted it, but nobody would give me, I had $200 in the bank, they offered me,

went up to over a million dollars. And I said no, because I couldn't, they wouldn't let me play the part, they wouldn't let me write it. And then one day, Robert De Niro walked into the theater, and the crowd stood up, and then I got off stage, and they said, De Niro's in your dressing room. I said, all right, wow, Robert De Niro? They said, yeah. I walked in there and Bob was sitting there and he said, look, I know what's going on. He said, I think you

should play Sonny and you should write it because it'll be honest and you should direct it. You should play Sonny and you should write it. He goes, I'll direct it and I'll play your father. And that's how it happened. You know, why a one man show? What year did this all start? I started writing it, Joey, in 1988. And in 1988, I started writing

because I couldn't get a big break. I was getting, I was on Hill Street Blues, I was on Maddlocke, I was on Dallas. I was getting guest star roles but I just wanted more, I wanted to be in movies. And it's very hard, it's very difficult. And then finally I said, well if I write something, I was at the lowest of my career because I ran out of money then. And I just said, saddest thing in life is wasted talent man. I'm not gonna waste my talent. So I said I'm gonna write about this killing that I saw

and I started writing about it and I performed that on stage first. It was like five minutes and I did it and the place just, my theater just went crazy. And each week I would write more and more and then I would perform it on Monday nights. Then I would take five minutes out of the 10 minutes, you know, like a comic does.

Yeah, I know, I know. You know, same thing, just workshop it, workshop it. And at the end of a year, I had 90 minutes of a fuckin' tight show, man, really tight. I borrowed some money off a friend of mine, I put it up. The fuckin' reviews were outrageous. All of Hollywood kept coming. The theater, it was only a 99 seat theater.

We had to get out of there. The crowds were too big. We moved into a 400 seat theater and even that was too small. But I stayed there and everybody came to see it. Nicholson came, Pacino came, Burt Reynolds came, Robert Redford came. They all wanted to play Sonny. You know, and I was like, no, I play Sonny. And they kept offering more money. Then it went up to over a million dollars.

And I still kept saying, no, I'm not doing it. And then one night Robert De Niro saw it and I went in the back and he said, man, this is a great movie, man. He said, you did the whole movie on stage. I said, yeah, that was my idea. Instead of people reading it, I wanted you to see it. And Bob did it and changed my life, man.

Now, how come there no more one man shows now beside yours? Nobody else is doing a one man show anymore. It's really, first of all, it's really, really hard. A one man show, a good one man show. Most one man shows are not good. They're just pontificating, you know. Yeah, you know, my mother had cancer and then I did. You know, it's always it's not it's hard.

See, mine, mine is not really a one man show. It's a it's a linear story. It's a movie. You know, like a comic goes up there and he's funny. He talks about this, then he talks about that drink some water. My show is not like that. My show is straight through without stopping all the scenes of a Bronx Tale I do.

Different. Well, like I didn't... Is that a normal way, like the way you wrote and workshopped? No. Originally. Because that sounds like that's how comics do it. That's how like they... I've never heard of an actor doing anything like that. Yeah. I mean, no, I did it. I figured I heard of an actor doing anything like that. Yeah, I mean no I did it I Figured I just keep trying stuff out and my because I had a I had an audience every Monday night at my theater So I would keep trying it out So I you know how it is you know on stage something's working something's night

I would tape everything where I had a cassette player and I would tape everything And then I would say this work and then you hear comments from the audience you know oh I didn't like this I didn't like that and so once in a while somebody says it's a great idea and you go fuck well that's a good idea and you you incorporate that you know so at the end of a year I had a fucking really tight show but still I didn't know if it worked because I never did it straight through but then when I did it, the fucking crowds just went. Joey, it was a phenomenon.

It only happened twice in Hollywood and only twice in the history of Hollywood. Sylvester Stallone and me. That's it. Where it was insane. I mean, I had producers following me to the men's room in restaurants in the men's room You know our already the guy who already a great already. I love him I got to know really well after I met him I was taking a leak in the URL the guy comes right up next to me at the palm in Beverly Hills And he goes you're chance Palma Terry. I'm looking at yeah, he goes. I just saw it two days ago fucking love it. I'll write you out a check for a million dollars

What do you think and I'm going I really can't talk right now, you know So I said you got to call my agents and and we'll work it out. It was you I'm telling you right now I said Al call the agents, you know, it was crazy. It was Joey. It was crazy Bear Reynolds wanted to take me out to dinner. Everybody wanted to take me out to dinner. But they wanted that role. And I said, nah, nope, no fucking way. And then when I met Stallone,

because I did a movie with Stallone right before that, I told him what was going on. He said, I heard about what's going on with you. I said, yes, Lian, I wanna, I actually thanked him because I said, you did it before me. And so you made me believe that it can't happen. And he said, if you believe it, hold on.

And I said, all right, I am. And I did. You just kept saying no. Fuck them. You know, Joey, the people say, how could you turn down over a million dollars with $200 in the bank? And you know what I say? The first offer was the hardest.

And as people who grew up like we did, the first offer was 250 after two weeks of doing it. And to me that was like, that came out of nowhere, 250,000. I was like, can I call you, can I speak to you tomorrow? I was a little shook up by it. And then I hung up and I called my parents and they said, well, what do you want, son?

I said, look, I really wanna play the part. I don't wanna give up. They said, don't worry about us. If you're worried about us, we'll be fine. Because I wanted to take care of them. And then I said, fuck it, I'm not doing it. And once I made up my mind, then it was just numbers. 500, yeah, 750, it didn't fucking mean,

the 250 was the hardest. A million, million two, I'm going, yeah, but can I play the part? I said, no fucking way I'm doing it. And everybody in Hollywood said, you're gonna blow it, they're gonna walk away. I said, no fucking way they are are because there's too many people who wanted it I'm not exaggerating every every number one director every producer

every studio head every main actor wanted this part were chasing me down was it crazy you know it's crazy that you, as you were telling the story, I was thinking about Frank Bash, 29th Street. Yeah. How, that's a fucking great story. Great story. Great story.

And he sold it, but they had the Australian play him. Right. What the fuck? They gave him a role as the brother. Yes. He was still in the movie. Yeah. But they gave it to Lampaglia, Anthony Lampaglia.

Anthony Lampaglia, who was, Anthony Lampaglia is very good. Yeah, he was good, he was good. But he was very good. And he is Australian, but he's very, he is Italian, because there are a lot of Italians in Australia. He got mugged in the Beverly Hills. He did? He was telling me one time.

He's a good guy. He was walking and they pulled up with a gun. Yeah. And said, give me your money. He's like, wow. He's Beverly Hills. Right, no, no, no, but I always tell people, unless you had something like Stallone on myself,

it's better to sell it if it's only two people want it. It's hard to be really staying by your guns. But I had everybody want it, it's a little different. So what happened to me,, what happened to Sly, in fact he says it too, it was an anomaly, it was an aberration, it doesn't happen. It just, the stars were right or whatever, and it just was right, man.

Are you paranoid at all? For me, I'm thinking back then, before the internet, I know that you could have proved that you had the Script but they could have ripped you off and written a movie like it and then put it out Like did that cross your mind at all? No, no because you can't you could write something similar But I but they saw it you see this is different. This was not reading it They and all the reviews were like the New York Times, the LA Times, was like one of the greatest,

a genesis of an Academy Award movie. I mean, it was just like, they wanted this fucking movie. And they wouldn't leave me to fuck alone, man. I was blessed, you know, it was great. What does that feel like after you haven't really done? You know, my Lord, Savior, Jesus Christ, he was right there. He's the one, I put his hand on my shoulder and said,

hang in there, kid. And I hung in there. Is that, because, I mean, after, like for, even the money sounds great, but like being like a, not, I don't wanna say struggling, but being an up and coming, a struggling actor to have everybody like, like you now you're the most popular guy.

That must have, that must feel great just in itself, even without the money. Yes, I went to a shrink. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, I went to a shrink. I'm not fucking around. I went to the number one shrink in Hollywood. His name was Dr. Phil Stutz

He's on Netflix. They did a special on him He's the number one shrink what the great shrink in the world in the world and I found out and he took me And I walked in he goes hello. Forget it. He says why do you want to? Everything alright. Oh, yeah, he goes. Why do you want to see me? I go I'm about to come really famous and I want to make sure I don't fuck it up. And he said, he looked at me and said, nobody ever did that to me before. I said, I'm serious. And you know what? I was 39 years old and I was been around a long time and it still took me back. I mean, I was like, whoa! Whoa!

What the fuck? From literally an unknown actor, I mean, I was on Broadway before that in the early 80s, an unknown actor too. I'm on fucking huge billboards all over the world with Robert De Niro. And people are just, you know, it is all of a sudden, you know, I mean, I did it right with girls,

but now it's like, every fuckin' supermodel wants to talk to you, everybody wants to meet you, everybody wants to be in the chast-paventary business, as they tell the agents. It's insane. So I had to grab ahold of myself. I wasn't married, I wasn't married.

So I was okay, but it was, and I talked't married. I wasn't married. So I was OK. But it was and I talked it over with my shrink. And he said, anybody who's famous before the age of 30, it's a crime. You can't do it. You just can't do it. I mean, I had to hold on like in a chair because it's fucking scary, man.

You broke and now you're getting millions of dollars for movies, now your face and it's like, what the fuck is this? Well, I don't have it in front of me, because I was looking you up yesterday. Wasn't there a run of Bullets Over Broadway? Oh yeah. Usual Suspects.

Usual Suspects. Yeah, the Bronx Tale, and The Usual Suspects, like back to back. Like it was three of the top movies ever. Three, back to back to back to back. And it was like, forget it, it was fucking crazy. It was, I'm telling you, it was crazy. Now from the time De Niro told you that in the green room,

to this time to get on set, how long? And the time De Niro told you that in the green room. Yeah. To this time to get on set, how long? Well, he had two movies that he told me he had to do, he was committed to. It was two years. He said, just wait. Oh God. Yeah, he said. Just wait. That's fucking brutal. It was brutal.

Oh. It was brutal, but you know what? It was okay because I was fucking, I got paid, so I had a few million dollars in the bank. Oh, they paid you already? Oh, they paid me. Oh, then fuck them. Don't call back, you know what I'm saying?

Don't even call. Didn't bullets over the highway come out first? Yeah, I got paid everything except my, when I was gonna be the actor. So I got over a million dollars as the writer. So that was good. So I waited, so I had all this money. So I had a a million dollars as the writer. So that was good. So I waited. So I had all this money.

So I had a new car and I'm moving in LA. I'm doing a movie with De Niro in a little while. So I'm fucking, you know, yeah, I'm flying, man. And am I wrong or did Bullets Over Broadway come out first? No, Bullets Over Broadway came out after Bronx though. Oh it did, okay. It did. Oh yeah, and then I had another one, Jade.

And that, Jade. Yes, I saw that. And Jade did, I mean I was fucking on a street. With Red Dog. Yes. From CSI, from NYPD too. Caruso, David Caruso. And Solange's wife. Yes.

Well that's his wife, his girlfriend, yeah. I forgot. Flavor. Yes. Isn't she the model in that movie? Yeah, Jade, Yeah. Yeah. Yes. I forgot. Yeah. She was great. Yeah, Linda Fiorentino. Linda Fiorentino. And uh. Where the fuck is Linda Fiorentino? Leave me alone. Leave me alone with that. I'm so aggravated with her. Where is she? If you're listening, Linda, listen to me. This girl is a fucking star.

A star. She's a great actor and I've been telling her for years but every time she gets close she goes, ah, I don't want this. And she tells people to go fuck themselves. She made that movie about Madonna, right? Crazy for you. Yeah, she's, Linda is fucking,

the last seduction. Yeah, she's, Linda is fucking, the last seduction. Yeah. She's so great. I wanted to come out of retirement. I don't hope she didn't retire. She's so great, so wonderful, so fucking sexy and hot. And she should be fucking out there, but you know, some people, some people they don't want it.

I don't know. She annoys me with that. Linda, if you hear this, you're pissing me off. Yeah, me too. Somebody tell her, you gotta come back. Really, she's great, man. For two years, it's like, when you get the call, you got the movie.

Yeah. Like that's why I hate when they call you and they go, this movie's shooting in June. Go fuck yourself. I'm old school. Tell me when it's shooting. You want me to audition now? Right.

It's shooting in March. Okay? No, I had to wait two years. Oh my God, because that, you go to wardrobe and then now you got, now in today's world, back then you didn't have it. Now you gotta look over social media. Yeah. That you don't tell somebody fuck you on social media

because as you're getting hired, they'll fire you. Yeah. Because you told somebody to go fuck yourself. Right. So the whole time you're always like, when am I gonna get fired? That's the way I think when I go to the movie. If I have a long time on the movie,

I'm like, ah, I'm gonna get fired. Why, you gonna say something or do something? Both. Both. So I might as well just, I wanna shoot it out and get out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I worked with Tracy Morgan. And you know Tracy. He's fucking out and get out. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I worked with Tracy Morgan. And you know Tracy.

He's fucking out of his mind. And I'll never forget that I asked Adam, why'd you shoot Tracy out so fast? He goes, Tracy's that funny, plus you don't want him around. And I never forgot that. And then I saw how the girl treated him on that show. 30 Rock.

30 Rock, the pilot of that? How did she treat him? She treated him just like that. 30 Rock. 30 Rock. Yeah. The pilot of that? How does she treat him? She treated him just like that. He's a dangerous guy. Really? Like not dangerous in the sense that he's gonna do something to you. Right. He's just dangerously fucking funny. Anybody who tells a woman, smell my finger, it smells like rape. That type of shit. Oh. You don't want them around that long on the set. Yeah. So they get on the set at seven, shoot them and get them the fuck out of there by 10. And you live your life the rest of the day.

You're not gonna catch, the longer you have them sitting back there, animals like that, like me, the longer you have me sitting back there, the more you got me brewing. And if that room ain't got windows, like I learned that, I gotta sit somewhere where it has windows.

If I'm in there for too long, and I don't mind smoking a joint and reading a book for six hours. I got nothing against that. You're paying me for the day. I don't give a fuck if you shoot me last. But my advice to you is, you don't want me back there. You don't want me back there.

Just get me the fuck out of there early. You know, I'll wait. I don't give a fuck. But get me out because what's that expression? The I don't mind is the devil's work. Yeah, I don't mind is the devil's work. That's it. And that's with me.

Once I get bored, I'm like, you know. So I just want to shoot it out. With Tracy, with Dirty Rock, if you see the the pilot while he was talking to her, he made him he made her take him to a strip club In the pilot. Yep while she waited outside. He was talking to him like convincing him to be on the show He's like, I don't know. Let me give this bitch another dollar. You gotta watch the fucking pile Oh my god, and that's when I realized animals like that You got to shoot him shoot him out. Yeah, get him out. They're gonna fuck in, you know Yeah, you never worked with somebody like that. They go crazy

No, I never did no not I love Tracy's great. He's funny But I never I work with a couple of people who are alcoholics. That's rough You know when that's rough when they come in and they're just, I won't say who they are. Talk, I watched the movie the other day. And we'll talk about it later. But this motherfucker was high on heroin. He shot this movie. Jesus.

And I know he was on heroin for a long time. But there's a scene, he's in a courtroom and the camera's not on him and he's nodding. He's trying to focus on the judge. But he starts fucking nodding, you're like, oh my God. That's kind of crazy. I could smoke a joint and shoot a movie.

Yeah, see, I can't do anything. Two hits off with the two roots, just to loosen it up, to make crap. No, I'm very relaxed. Yeah, but I can't drink or. No, I can't. People fucking, when I did the longest yard, those motherfuckers were making margaritas at 10 a.m.

The wrestlers, because wrestlers don't play. Yeah, yeah, they. They don't play. Wrestling's fun. They told Adam, we're not out there by eight. Yeah. We're gonna get margaritas. And they bought a blender. And they would get fucking blenders, plural.

And they had the big cooler with ice and they would sit out there, Goldberg. Those motherfuckers were out of their minds. No way, really. That's why I loved them. I loved them. They were like, 12 o'clock, we're not shooting, we're done. Then they go back to the hotel, take a nap.

Yeah, I just had a wrestler on my show, he was great, Karen Cross. Oh, they're great. He's great, what a great guy, man. They're ultimate, I learned a lot from wrestlers on how to treat people. Because they're the ultimate, like Kevin Nash, that motherfucker, he's getting beat up.

If you go up to him and ask him for a picture, he'll hold the guy's hand and take a picture and just keep fighting with him. Those guys, that's a different training. They train differently, they're more audience, very audience savvy. Wow. Yeah, it was great.

And he was fun to talk to. I love talking with guys and Jiu Jitsu and I love UFC. I go there, I love it. UFC is great. My son loves it. He boxes, he does MMA, he does Brazilian. We go there, we love it. It's great.

It's a great, I box. I don't do, you know, it was funny but when he started learning and he started getting older, and then all of a sudden I realized that, shit, I can't beat up my son anymore. You know what I mean? Like, this kid is like,

we started like grappling a little bit, and he just choked, he got me in a triangle, and I was like, what the fuck? And then he explained to me that a person who knows Jiu Jitsu, even a blue belt, he said, when you're wrestling or grappling with a person who knows nothing, he goes, it's a magic trick. They don't know what you're doing.

It's easy. And I was like, oh really? He goes, yeah. He goes, but a black belt does that to me. Or a brown belt does that to me, what I do. And he says, it's just levels Just levels. Yeah, I love going to jiu-jitsu. I haven't been there since October 8. Well, but before that I was for three years Right on the same place. Here's the problem as you get older You wrestle with younger guys, right? And even if you know more about it than they do their speed and quickness

Yeah, always beats you. You know, it's always, you end up on your back. But I fucking love it. Yeah, it's great. I fucking love the guys there. And I'm older and there's not a lot of other, you know, we had one guy that was like 65. Right.

And there's a guy in there that's 67. That's a fucking brute. Right. He was a school principal. Right. He's a black belt in karate for 40 years. Oh wow. So he's been doing it for that long. But there's something about jujitsu that when you go in there,

you're either gonna like it or hate it. You're either gonna like it or hate it. And you can't feel bad for not liking it. But if you really start to like it, you're gonna get beat up for a year. That's what he did. My son got beat up, he told me. It's a year getting beat up, choked, hurt,

people pulling your hair. I'm getting thrown all over the fucking place. I remember one time I was wrestling this guy, and I wasn't even, he was like a brown bone, I wasn't even doing nothing to him. And I kept seeing him going, ah, ah. And I go, dog, am I hurting you? He goes, you're pulling my leg hairs.

Because I had his gi, but I really had his leg hairs and I was spinning them around so I wouldn't lose the fucking leg and he'd go ah you know you're gonna get hurt at every level yeah no he did my son did get hurt but it's something about it like it's fun a friend of mine just twisted his fucking knee and he's like calling me telling me don't don't worries I'm gonna shoot it with a peptide, I'll be back in six weeks. They don't give a fuck. They don't give a fuck. And they'll go back in three weeks

and now reheard it for good. Yeah. It's so addicting that you reheard it for good. Yeah, I love watching it. I love going to UFC. I think it's great. Oh, the UFC's a fucking lot of fun. Yeah.

You know, the energy in that motherfucker. Right. The energy. Right. Is going by. It's crazy. You know, Joey, I always wanted to ask you, because I always ask people who know, and I know you know about jujitsu.

I just box. And I asked my son about it, and he said, well, Dad, sometimes it can overcome, but if you had a guy who was in the street, but a young guy, big, strong guy, but knows nothing about grappling, but a big, tough guy. And he fought the number one Jiu Jitsu woman in the world. In other words, she was a black belt in Jiu Jitsu. Who would win? He said there's no chance. Mackenzie Dern will fuck you up. Who? Mackenzie Dern will fuck you up. I'm talking about a big strong guy like a fucking listen. She's not gonna twist them, but she's gonna neutralize them

You think so? But what about those people that are black belts like that like she's a Brazilian black belt. I've ever seen fucking Mackenzie. No, I haven't She's like a super mom, but what about if this guy grabs about a fucking hand, grabs her neck, Joey? She has the patience. Right. That she'll fucking breathe through it and at least get hooks on him.

Really? And she's a black belt. So she'll get a leg somewhere. So if you had to bet money, you would bet on the woman. You would bet on the woman. At that situation, I bet on the woman to neutralize him Yeah, right after a while. It's a woman and her strength. Yeah, that's it. It's straight, but I could guarantee Her cats and gano. There's a lot of women fucking

Really good jujitsu. Yeah, they'll break something on you. Yeah, and if you really think about it Jujitsu is made for a woman. All the aspects of it is for a woman. My daughter was into it till she was 10 and I lost her. Because you don't understand, that's their playground. A woman's playground is on her fucking back. And if she could defend herself from her fucking back, that is something that you can't.

It's priceless. What do you think Joe Rogan would say about that? He would bet on the woman too? Well, it depends on the, like, there's a fucking chick, Gabby Garcia. She's bigger than me. She just fought Craig Jones. Really?

In the competition, and Craig Jones choked her out. Again, but but you know yeah but that's true that's a good grade jujitsu person that's I think what are you saying like a fight or like a in the street no no she said he's a street guy in the street I'm 100% bet on the woman I think they have videos of it of like yeah especially like guys who are like kind of assholes going to jujitsu gyms Yeah, and like they talk shit and the people jujitsu gyms are usually really nice until like some guys an asshole And then they like they play with them. It's like it's an animal and like it's always one really good woman every gym

Yeah, like where I was going there was a purple belt that night. That was really good I never rolled with it, but in the daytime, there was an Indian girl that started coming in. Married, two girls. That's how she got into it, she brought her girls. And I asked her, what made you come in here? We all called her mom, mom. You're a fucking fox, what made you come in here?

She's like, I brought my girls in here. And she goes, I saw how important it is for a woman. She comes to the lunchtime classes, There's no other women in that Wow Yeah, and she battles it and for a year. I would see her at the end of class. You think she was a battered woman She got beautiful long hair and she put it in a ponytail, but they'd rip it the fuck out and she'd just be like the amazing thing about I Knew when I was bouncing many years ago in the 80s, early, I worked with a guy who was Olympic judo.

He was like 10th in the world in judo in his class. And I was in the gym with him one day, and I said, come on Mark, come on, just, and he goes, no, Chas. I said, no, no, no. I said, I'm gonna really try to like, he treated me like I was a two-year-old. And that's what I couldn't understand.

That's what you can. He treated me like I was, you know when your five-year-old gets upset, you go, stand over here. Literally, I felt like I couldn't do anything. He just flipped me and threw me and I just never forgot that. Listen, you do a great one-man show and you're an actor. I'm a comedian, I'm a street comic, I know how to tell jokes on the corner. Take that energy and flip it. Think about

somebody who's been throwing punches for 20 years. Yeah, it's true. What do you think is going to happen? Yeah, it's not going to be good. Have you ever gone into a ring with a guy just fucking around that's true. What do you think is gonna happen? Yeah, it's not gonna be good. Have you ever gone into a ring with a guy Just fucking around that's like yeah, I box with some spod But they would we knew we were gonna and just to show the faints alone exactly I knew that I had just professional I knew that he could take me out at any moment you go to one of these schools

And you see like the Brazilian that yeah, like I go to a Hollis Gracie right Rose Gracie Right the big one right I joined Gracie, he's the big one. I joined that school because he's a big dude and he teaches big dude shit, how to control you more, how to move slowly, to put his weight on top of you a lot more. There's little guys who move, like there's a school in Edgewater, that dude, he fucking moves.

He's five foot eight, 160, guy will choke you yeah before fucking anything Have you ever seen the Hodger Gracie tapes? The what? Hodger Gracie? No, I know you're Gracie is the fucking best in the world better than better than Hickson No, he's like a nephew to Hickson nephew Hickson, but this guy does the same shit Every day yeah, which is takes you down But this guy does the same shit every day. Which is, takes you down, he lets you,

he'll let you put him in his clothes guard. Right. It's a 15 minute bout, it'll take him 13 minutes to get on that mount. But those 13 minutes, you're on the bottom suffering. You're faking, you're fucking with him. And once he gets you on a mount, everything he does is basic. He gets you with a collar choke.

And he does that in the worlds. But when you see him, you go, wow. Because it's like caterpillar. It's not two, the Barambolo brothers flying through the air. It's this guy that gets on top of you, like a boa constrictor, and he just gets closer to you, closer to you, and that's what you're doing.

You're wearing out the guy on the bottom. Were you up on stage, Joey, and you thought somebody was gonna come up on stage and you thought you were gonna have to do something? Yeah. Really? And I hit him with the microphone. Come on.

In 1995, there was an open mic on Wednesdays, Really and I hit him with the microphone Come on in 1995 there was an open mic on Wednesdays like steakhouse 58 or something in Commerce City, Colorado And I every week I did the same round. There was a there was a tortilla plate What's a the taco place on fucking Thursday night, right? The one in the West Coast, they got them all over. El Torito? El Torito was Thursday, Wednesday was that. Tuesday was an Elvis impersonator from Brooklyn

that had a restaurant in Vegas and he was the first Elvis impersonator like 1968. Wow. Now he was 400 pounds and they paid him off. Caesar's gave him like a half a mil and he opened up a little Italian restaurant And every Tuesday, I would go up there on Tuesdays and crack some jokes He had like an eight-table restaurant, right and he would come out at first as the chef

And then listen to me then he'd wink at me and he'd go in and I'd go on stage He'd a bag of dicks for 15 minutes. I'd be up there just telling stupid jokes and dying. People still beating their talons. And after 15 minutes, he'd come out dressed like Elvis, with a towel around his neck, and I'd go, come into the stage, Elvis Presley, Dino or something like that was his name. And he'd come out and fucking do the moves and the kicks,

and he'd get drenched in sweat. And then he'd go to the tables and he'd talk to the people and he'd sweat on their meatballs. You know, it's fucking classic. Tremendous. This is what I see as a comic, as a young comic. But on Wednesdays I went to this place and they were flipping beer caps at every comic.

Motherfucker kept flipping beer caps. Yeah, that's not right. You know, and they were drinking beers and ripping the labels and then flipping the, and I went in there, I was going through a divorce. And I was in no fucking mood. Right. And I went up there, I go,

before the show even starts, if you flick one fucking thing, I'm gonna fuck yous up. I didn't even say that, and the beer thing went flying by me. And I go, come on, motherfucker, because I wasn't gonna go after them. I had to bring them to my territory.

I got the mic stand, and they had one of those microphones that had batteries in it. Oh, I didn't know this. And they came close, like, he charged me. I'm like, this is easy. I picked up the thing and just banged him in the fucking head and the microphone busted. Looked at the batteries went out.

He started bleeding, ah, ah. And his buddy stood there and he goes, I go, you want, ah, he just left. And I went, I finished my steak, they said the cops are coming, I got in my car and I left. I didn't go back for like a month, it was all forgotten. That's funny.

Oh yeah, I'll face, yeah. I've seen comics go through some shit sometimes. Don't disguise that. Listen, I'll tell you what happens. A girl goes home and tells her husband that her and her eight girlfriends from work are gonna go see a certain comedian. There's like eight of them that are really good looking.

There's always that one husband that tags along. I'm going with you. Is Maggie going? I don't trust her. You know, she dates a fucking Spanish dude, you know. Those are the guys you're always going to have a problem with. Because they're the ones that sit there. He ain't funny, you know, to try to, and then you have to say something to him, then he says something. Yeah, comedy is fascinating to me. I mean, I was never a stand-up comic. I was always an actor, but I'm fascinated by stand-up comedy.

I really am. It's fascinating to me. And I talked to Chris Rock about it once. I did a movie with him. And I said, what's the number one thing a comic's got to learn? And he said, don't be afraid of the silence. No. He says, once you're not afraid of the silence You got it. Let me take a breather real quick. Let's talk about better help For people who need a psychiatrist that didn't get those movies There's people that haven't gotten movies and it's still in la right now. Yeah, what am I gonna do? All better help. We'll be back in two minutes Hey, if you don't know now, you know the church of what's happening now is sponsored by better help

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use code Factor Podcast to get 50% off your first box, 50% off plus free shipping. That's what we do for you over at the church. That's code Factor Podcast at FactorMeals.com slash podcast at factor meals dot com slash factor podcast to get 50% off your meals with free shipping on your first box. I got the protein package tremendous. Give it a shot. Or if you want the keto, they got everything for everybody. Factor podcast to get 50% off Free shipping on your first box. Thank you for listening to the podcast and thank you for factor for sponsoring the show We're back bitches Anyway, what's up? I want to talk to you about something. We're talking about when we left Goddamnit about people in Hollywood. It didn't make it yet. Was that it? Well, we're talking about that But that was just a jokey-pooh. Oh, we're talking about time and comedy. Yeah that

You're fascinated with stand-up. Well, so fascinating with so the fuck was I and I'm still fascinated with it I've been doing it now for 30 years 30 years now do you 91 Now do you- 91. Do you know what you're gonna do when you get on stage, Joe? I have a direction. I have a direction. And then, like you, like right now I have no direction.

Lately I have no direction. I'm coming up with little bits. And now I have a month off and that gives me time to polish two bits. Like I started working on today. I haven't I in the back of my mind I just want to fucking laugh. You know I want him to laugh. We were talking during the break about Lee doing comedy for seven years.

It's so weird or eight years. And the Agostino has been doing it for 10 or 12. 15. 15. 15. 12 15 15 15 now when is a comic feel like he made it when he does okay when you feel if a comic could fill up a comedy club three four hundred people that's pretty good right what it now is then you move to theaters like a thousand to two thousand would you say that's pretty good well that's really

good that's real good that's pretty good? That's really good. That's real good. That's really good. Now when you get like over three or four thousand that's something. Sebastian, arenas. That's arenas. That's Jo Koy, that's Gabriel. That's heights that you just dream about. Right, but does the average comic, would you say, when he hits like 2,500?

That's good. That's good. That's good. That's really good. That's really good. You asked me a question, what was the question? When do I thought I was successful? Yeah. When I didn't have a day job no more.

Right. That's the first fucking hurdle. When you're making the money to... That's the first fucking hurdle. How about you, Lee? I'm surprised to hear you say that it was there. That's the first hurdle. That is the first hurdle, but, cause you said, well, you say that it was there. That's the first hurdle. That is the first hurdle.

But, cause you said, well you said, you said successful, I think Chaz, you said when you made it, like when a comics made it. When you feel like, all right, you know. Cause like, my thought, when I was listening to you, Joey, what I thought you were gonna say is, is like, to get to that level, you have goals, but then when you got to theaters,

comic, you always look bigger. So like, are you ever really fully satisfied? That would, but I do think that that's a, I like that that's where your head is at, to just be like, the first hurdle is day job. Day job, yeah. And then after that, listen. That's a lot more attainable.

I don't think Chappelle is happy. I think he's happy, but I don't think any comic is ever happy. They could always look at just a little more Maybe if I could sell out a spaceship, right? Put them on Guantanamo Bay, I get 80,000 people in Guantanamo I can do a Dallas Stadium or something. Do you follow me? Yeah. But I always thought, for starters, you have a different head.

I was a criminal. I got out of the joint. I couldn't find the fucking job as a felon. And I removed the felony from my life. I didn't go to the judge. I just removed it myself. And I go, I'm gonna go for this comedy thing. But I never thought of anything until I found out that fucko, who again has another show on TV, Tim Allen did Time for

Cocaine. That guy's got another show on TV. He like owns ABC. They just give him shit and he deserves it. That's a bad motherfucker, he deserves it. You know where he eats for breakfast every day? Denny's in the valley. He's in there Denny's, I would see him in there and go what the fuck are you doing at Denny's? So you know what I'm saying? He's a real guy that dude.

Yeah, but I found, I kind of studied comics and I fool around with of studied comics and I I fooled around with a little comedy and I remember the thing that I noticed I'm very observant is the thing that bothered me the most is hanging out backstage with comics they're all depressed Joey. Yeah. They're all depressed Joey. Well we're in our heads. Like, I'm always happy. You're in your fucking head. And then when you say something funny,

they'll never laugh at your joke. They'll just go, never, they'll go, that's funny. That's funny. Yeah. They'll look at you and go, that's funny. But they'll never fucking laugh, ever, ever, ever. I used to talk to Robin Williams about all this, and he used to make me laugh

because he was a funny fucking dude. That was a funny fucking dude. And it's almost like a comic. First they want to be, they just want to not pay the bill. They want to not pay the bills. I mean, they don't have to get a day job. Then when they start filling out comedy clubs, they're like, great.

Then they start filling out theaters 15 on 25 then they want to go to a Radio City, Massachusetts, we're going and once you get there you can only hold that they was explained to me You can only hold that position for like three or four years And then you have to move back down to the theaters and you stay the theaters then for the rest of your career It was really fucking interesting. A theater that's in today's world you can make good money if you did theaters all year. Oh yeah.

Look at Brian Regan. Brian Regan popped out one TV show, he did something else. He's great, Brian Regan. Nobody knows who he is. So he does theaters. Does he do, he doesn't do Radio City Musical. He might. At one point. Like I Does he do, he doesn't do Radio City Musical. He might. At one point. Like I wanna do the Apollo. Yeah.

Just out of respect. I'd love to do the Apollo. Here's the problem. Yeah. You gotta do eight shows to break even then. No, no, no. I only do one show. I, I.

No, no, no. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You have to do two in one night there because the first show goes to the boys. Oh. Unless you charge $300 for a ticket. So the first show goes to the boys. Unless you charge $300 for a ticket. So the first show goes to the boys. Since you're there for the second show,

now the second show is all profit pretty much. So you gotta do two fucking shows in a night. And that's what, I would love to do the Apollo. The beacon with a bunch of white people playing the violin. I don't wanna hang with that. I wanna go up there with the Apollo. The beacon with a bunch of white people playing the violin. I don't wanna hang with them. I wanna go up there with the brothers. I have a very big African American following. Oh, I love it.

I would love to do that. I would love to do the Apollo Theater. The Bronx. Some theater in the Bronx. They're always paradise, I thought about that. Some theater in the Bronx. Theater in the Bronx, yeah. I gotta do, out of respect for my mother before I die,

I gotta get a date at Yonkers Raceway Yeah, they gotta have a theater up there Yes, the midnight show at Yonkers they do no That's the last track that's oh, and I always tell people when people go well, my uncle was a degenerate Well, what did he do? He went to metal lands every day. That's not a degenerate Yeah, the generator somebody goes to the Mennelands, then rushes over and catches the end of that aqueduct, and then goes home, takes a shower,

stops at OTB on 181st Street by 430, and right on that road, you shoot up the Yonkers. And when you walk out of Yonkers in those days, you're gonna get shot. In the 70s, it's fuckin', you're walking out to Mary J. Blige and shit. Oh yeah. In the 70s. Oh yeah. It's fucking you're walking out to Mary J. Blige. Yeah. Fucking tremendous. No that's true yeah. Yeah. Wow that's a degenerate. That's a degenerate. Yeah that was Eddie Mush. That was Eddie Mush from Bronxdale.

He was, that was him. That was him. He would constantly, constantly fucking all day, all night fucking gamble. Let me tell you what we've seen I don't mean to interrupt your mush. We'll get to that later Mushy question for you. That's a junior mush right? He calls me mush for years. Oh, yeah. This guy is the worst Any day now any day now you're gonna get a big movie Yeah, any day now the way God works lately, you're going to get a big movie. I was thinking about this the other day after we spoke because people have to realize one thing and it's on the conversation we were talking about.

Whether you're a boxer, you've been doing it for 20 years. When you're a writer, it takes you a week, it'll take me two years to write. You're that apt on it. Well, I understand. I apply myself, yes. Look at acting. I was watching something the other day that I was blown the fuck away. I had nothing to do. I was in the hospital and I put on Sons of Anarchy. Why? I don't know. Right.

And it was the season when Jimmy Smits came on. Yes. Why I don't know right and it was the season when Jimmy Smith came on yes, and he was eating these motherfuckers up He was eating Jack's teller which is tough to do. Yeah, look at a dude and then you see the success of oil man With this Billy Bob Thornton. Have you watched that show? I haven't seen it. Holy shit. He's good. What's the name of it? You know the oil man. I've seen clips of it. I don't know what the name is. I heard it. But he's really good. He's great. I mean it's like everybody else is on a different fucking level.

And that's how you are now. You know when I see Lawrence Fishbone. Everybody looks at Denzel. I look at Lawrence Fishbone and I go... He played four different types of youngs. Okay? What's love got to do with it? And he played a gangster black yam in King of whatever. It's okay to say that word.

It's okay. It's cool now. Okay. Yam is in the middle. Nobody gets offended. Okay. So what is it? What's that?

Okay. What's King of New York? King of, yes, King of New York King? Yes Think of that. He played Ike Turner And the king of New York and they were completely fucking great great And then he played something else in that realm and you go he broke those guys up into threes Yeah, really really so that's another guy. Like I said yourself, right? Do you go on a fucking movie now? You just eat it up

Well, everybody looks at you cuz you're that you got 40 years like I said yourself. You go on a fucking movie now and you just eat it up. Everybody looks at you because you're that. You got 40 years in the fucking game, Chad. Yeah, a lot of movies. 40 fucking years. And I respect that. And it's the same thing we were talking about. You start eating and breathing this shit. Katie's a gal.

She's been doing it since I was locked up. Yeah. When I was locked up, it was her first year of, uh, married with children. There's a bunch of those fucking guys. Oh yeah. At O'Neill. And we grew up, I grew up on McQueen, like when I was in the hospital, I watched R. Man Flint, god damn, James Colbert. James Colbert. And it was a double feature, but I had to go to sleep. Yeah. I couldn't the second my man our man for a man Flynn and something else. Oh my god You know, I grew up on I was a big Charles Bronson dude. Yeah, mr. No personality I mean you look at Steve McQueen He did nothing but he was a movie star. There's something about Steve McQueen. You just go

Look at this guy. He great just great man just great the fucking one with the Camaro yeah bullet bullet bullet and he got away the great escape papillon papillon oh shit damn yeah yeah the fact that that motherfucker stole The fact that that motherfucker stole Bob Evans's girlfriend. If that happened now, people would turn their back on him. Only two men have done that. Brad Pitt, when he went to fucking Angelina Jolie's and never came back to Jennifer Aniston. She was at home waiting with tea. Like, I'm done with tea. You know what I'm saying? Wow. That's true.

And Steve McQueen. Steve McQueen. And she just didn't take an actor's wife. He was the head of fucking movies at Paramount. And I liked, I knew Bob very well. I liked him a lot. That's crazy. Yeah, he was a good guy.

I liked him. Those were different types of dudes. Yes. You know, Clint Eastwood, when he first started shooting. Yeah. Those spaghetti worst, Westwood. Oh man. That's why that's so interesting to me

Right all those actors how they did all that they went through a struggle. Yeah, you know when I shot the longest yard Fucko told me that his roommate at the time was the other fucking crazy guy Burt Reynolds had a roommate when he lived in New York and they went to audition for Ilya Kazam and At the end the audition audition, his roommate, who ended up becoming a star in his own way, I just forget what his name was, pulled the gun. Elia Kazan said, if I'm not in this play, I'm gonna shoot you.

He's the one in that movie with the bowling. He's got the hook on his hand. Really? He's an older guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, he's probably dead by now. Yeah. Showed up to the audition. With a gun. With a fucking gun.

Fucking actors, some actors are crazy, man. You can't believe the things people do to get noticed. I mean, I've seen things where, you know, I mean, just one of my dear friends died. One of my closest friends died in COVID. And I was there and I'm still hurt. My friend Phil Foley died in COVID. And I went to the wake and then we went afterwards,

you go to a restaurant. You know, that's how you do it. You go to a restaurant to eat something. Everybody talks. This guy comes over to me and he says, hi, you know, he says his name. And he was at the funeral, I saw him. And he says hi you know he says his name and he was at the funeral I saw him and he said you know me and Phil were working on a script together now I know that's can't be true because Phil would have told me and he goes and he said that you were gonna be in on it with us

and I know it's unfortunate that he passed but I was wondering if if you and I could do it you know I'm at the fucking funeral. You ask me if I want to write with you because Phil is dead, are you out of your fucking mind? Like, get the fuck away from me. I mean, I was like, do you have any sense of compassion, of feelings, of I don't know. Some people are just fucking crazy.

He just figured, I was there, he's never gonna see me again, let me take a shot. And I had the script with him. I had the script with him. You know what? Listen to me, my car's on fire, I'm changing a flat, now I don't know how to change a flat. I'm doing my best.

I'm pumping. This was about nine years ago. And some kid screeches over. And I think he's gonna ask me, he's gonna say, do you need help? This motherfucker came up and goes, hey, Joey, remember we read a script together? Are you interested?

I looked at him and I go get the fuck away from you I'll never ever forget that and I've had people now like when I went to the hospital two weeks ago Yeah, first day I went in there. I was dying. I couldn't breathe. It was like purple some guy came over Can we take a picture? I'm like, man I've had that man. What the fuck is wrong with you? I fucking had that, I fell asleep at the wheel. You could be diving, you could be diving. I fell asleep at the wheel and my fucking car hit a tree dead center, knocked the tree down,

the wires killed all the fucking power in my neighborhood. In my, in Bedford. I mean, I wiped my own house out and the fucking police came and they got me in the, the ambulance came, I was fine. The airbags, you know, really, it was like a big Mercedes. So no, I wasn't even hurt. But they said, no, you gotta get in the gurney.

So they put me in the gurney and the guy comes up, puts the thing on my neck and he goes, fucking A, usual suspects, I love that movie. And I look at him and he goes, how was that movie? And he's talking to me and I'm like, is he fucking serious? But then later he goes, Chas, you know what,

I know what you can, I said that to you because I wanted to see if you were coherent and you could know what I was saying. And I said, oh, I didn't know what the fuck you were doing. But he didn't recognize me. But I had a fucking guy in Hollywood. This was the best. I'm in a diner, I'm in a diner with my buddy,

and I hear a guy going, ah, ah, Joey, my hand to God, true story. Ah, ah, I go, what the fuck? So I get up and I look, because we were at the counter and I look at the tables, there's this guy and I see he had a steak and he's choking and he's pushing the waitress away like he was embarrassed or something.

And she's going, let me try to help you. And he was fucking dying. I go over to him, I put my hand, I give him the thing. And it wasn't, I don't even think I did it because whatever I did it popped it popped out And it pops out and he looks at me and he goes I said man you want to go to hospital you okay, and he goes He goes

Chas momentary and I said yeah. Yeah, he goes You're just voluntary. And I said, yeah, yeah. He goes, wait a minute, wait a minute. Puts his hand in his pocket, takes his fucking wallet out, takes a fucking card out, he goes, I got a great script for you. Oh my God. And he goes, you call me, I got a great script.

And I'm saying, sir, are you all right? Now, I didn't think of it at the time, but I walked out there with my buddy, who was an actor, and I said, do you fucking believe that crazy fucking guy? He goes, Chas, it could have been a setup. He could have saw you and did it. And I didn't think of that.

I said, you know what, I don't know. Anything's possible in that fucking city. You know, people go to AA meetings. Yeah. That's the only city where people go to AA meetings, tell you a story that they're clean and sober, and they're there to give you a script. Yeah, I heard that.

That's the only town. There's no decency. No decency, no. And they always try to give you something for somebody else. That's when it really pisses me off And they always try to give you something for somebody else. That's when it really pisses me off. Hey, can I talk to you about something? You know, I really like your comedy. Do you mind giving this to Joe Rogan?

And you're like, no. I do. You know, people say, no, I'm not giving him that. The reason why he's my friend is because I don't give him that. Exactly. Robert De Niro. You know how many times I get a script? Could you give this to Bob?

Could you do this to Bob? Could you do this to Bob? Could you set me up with Bob? I go, no, I don't fucking do that. I say, what are you crazy? I don't do that, man. I just, I won't do it, I won't do it. I mean, I gave Bob three scripts in my 35 years

of knowing him, have I ever given him three scripts? And two of them were mine. And he did both of them. And the third one was, well, I didn't give him the script, but I called him and told him that I read this. And that was, fuck, what was the name of that movie that he did?

I can't think of it. It escapes me. No, they asked me to read this thing. I read, analyze this. And they said, would Bob be interested in this? I said, Bob be interested? First of all, I read it and I said, it's fucking great. It's fucking great, you know?

But not knowing, they called by, I said, you know how you get Bob De Niro? You make an offer. His $20 million, read the fucking script. I'm not bringing him anything. You know what I mean? What the fuck? So-

To go back to your, the show that Lee and I watched. Yeah. And it's on Amazon and Apple TV. It's on Amazon, Apple, Google, Fandango. It's the one man show that I've been doing for 34 years, but Joey, I filmed it, I wrote and directed obviously with five cameras. So it's really, it's inside, it's, I really worked on it. I worked a year on it. And there's more than that. There's like audio to it too. Yeah. Like for different things, your music and different effects. It was great. Yeah, I know. It's a movie. I mean, I paid for it myself, because I don't want anybody telling me what to do.

So I paid for the whole fucking movie myself. I said, no, no, no, I don't want nobody's money. Now, you know what I got from all this? You're just a great fucking storyteller. And when I went to see the show at the Beacon, I knew right then, I go, this guy is just a phenomenal storyteller. He knows how to keep, a lot of people don't have that

Yeah, they could tell you a story, but then they can't keep you You could keep me and take me through different emotions and then you do all the characters, which is Mush and fucking right and that guy You know, I thought it was great. But that's the bottom line You grew up in the Bronx and you went to get apples on the corner. And when you went to get an apple, there was always action going. There was all these characters. But a poop and you talk and everybody had a nickname. Right.

And a nickname that hit home. Everybody. Do you know how many guys came over to me and said, you robbed my story? Do you know how many guys in all these years have told me that? You know what? That was my story. This one guy was a stand-up comic. I'm gonna forget him. And he said, you stole my act, and you made a movie out of it.

I go, leave me the fuck alone. Get the fuck out of here. You know what I mean? You know what they say? You know, an orphan, a success has one father, an orphan, a failure is an orphan. It's so true. So fucking true.

I hear- Listen, we all had that story. You know, at one point- Of course! Everybody had all these guys. Well then you should have wrote the movie. Nah. You know what I mean?

But you're a phenomenal, like, up there. That's what cultivates these people. That's what the mob genre is. It's a genre that's kinda weird, but it's part of our culture. Right? You know now you make an Italian movie The Colombo people come after you for fuck. Yeah, it's you know, you can't make a fucking I'm surprised that Sharip is commercials lasted three weeks. Yeah, because the anti-american

Association comes right. He's very well liked man. Nobody's well, right. He's very well liked, man. No, but he's well liked. He's fucking well liked. No, no, no, no, I'm not saying anything bad about the commercial. I'm just saying that for 10 years, I shot mob commercials for Pennzoil, Dairy Queen, you know, fucking Prudential. Die Hard was the best.

Die Hard, we went to bury a body and we left the headlights on. And then when we go to turn the car on, it's dead. And now we're stuck, you know, I did them all. They ran for a week, then your agent called you and said your commercial got canceled. The anti-Italian infraderation called and said that. Fucking, what's that food chain?

I did them, that lasted four weeks before the Italians came out, yeah. You know what, I have a thing with, and did them, that lasted four weeks before the Italians came out. You know what, I have a thing with, and I beef with the Italians about this because they came to me a few times, and I said, look, I said, Broxtail, first of all, Broxtail is not a fucking gangster movie.

It's a family movie. I said, that's why it's been around for 34 years. It's a family movie. And I said, do you expect Italians not to work? Do you expect us not to work? I said, if you work and you don't like it, shut the fucking thing off. You know what the best part of that family movie is?

When you beat the fuck out of the bikers. Let me tell you something. I know. That's a family scene, right? From the ABC after school special. Everybody said, every time I do that thing in theaters, fucking standing, clapping, applauding, I go, now you're scared like, booooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo all these stories he tell over the years, these fucking Tudutsis. Oh, that didn't happen. Okay, motherfuckers.

I'll start bringing these motherfuckers in here. Right. Well, you see, here's the deal. You're like, there's this, you got to be a great story. You got to have great stories and you got to be a great storyteller. So there's this guy, Bobby Maresco. I don't know if you know who he is. Bobby Maresco wrote Crash, which won the Academy Award and he won Million Dollar Baby with Paul Haggis. He grew up, he was a Westie, he was like Westie.

Grew up in West, you know, down in Hell's Kitchen. Great storyteller, great director too, and a great writer. And he, one day him and I were at this big table and he's on one side and I'm on the other and we're going trading stories and telling him. And if it was like you were there, you'd be number three. Like you're a great storyteller, and you know how to tell a great story.

So me and him are fucking rocking. The whole restaurant is on the fucking floor. All of a sudden, in the middle of this, this one guy, wait a minute, he goes, I got a story. I was 13 years old and it was like the most boring fucking story. So I turned to him and I go, hey, what was his name? JP, I go, JP, this is the fucking World Series. Shut the fuck up.

And the whole place was fucking left. But it's true. You know, it is when you rock in the house, you're like, then somebody wants to tell a story. Once in a while you gotta shut the fuck up. Like my wife. You're telling the story and your wife wants to follow. You're like, god damn.

I wanna go, honey. She goes, no, no. How about when they go, no, that didn't happen. It was this time. I'm gonna shut the fuck up. Sometimes you lied to make a story better, you embellish, you know, what the fuck, that's what you do, it's an art. You embellish the story, man.

It's so stupid. That's what makes the joke even more outlandish. Even more funny, right. You said something to add to it, like he would turn, me and you were talking one day, yo, nephew number one, we were talking one day on the phone, talking about something and I said to you, you got me over here

waiting like Michael Chandler. Do you remember? We were fucking dying here with me for like 20 minutes because Michael Chandler, how long are you gonna wait? Yeah, right, exactly. How long are you gonna wait for Conor McGregor? Move on. He's never gonna fight.

Yeah, it's true. And look, two years later, now he wants to fight and beat KC this week. Right, right, right, right exactly. We're gonna wait for Conor McGregor, move on. He's never gonna fight. Yeah, it's true. And look, two years later, now he wants to fight and beat KC this week. Right, right, right, right. Every Friday he gets coked up and he shows up at a new event on Saturday. Right, right. Listen, I snorted coke for 27 years, okay? Nobody's got footage of me snorting coke. Go on YouTube.

They have 30 minutes of Conor McGregor talking all coked up. There's one thing where he can't even talk. He's like, you saw that one? When he's scratching his nose and he can't even talk. Is he gonna come back and fight, Joey? I don't see it. You don't see it? I don't see it.

I think he's- He's got enough money, right? He's got tons of loot. Yeah. You know. He needs a handler. He's got enough money, right? He's got tons of loot. He needs a handler. He needs somebody that'll come. He's gotta hire somebody and go, send me three guys. They gotta beat the fuck out of me

when I start acting crazy. Because he's crazy, he's Irish. He's crazy, he drinks that fire water, that sets him off, and then he puts that shit in his nose. I've been there. That's a dangerous person, hi man. That's it, that's it, look at him, he's turning purple, his veins are getting bigger.

He shows up every Saturday. If there's a fight, an ice skating, he shows up at the weirdest places on Saturday. Takes his shirt off, starts bartending and shit. I gotta give it to him, he's an animal. I mean, I gotta give it, listen, McGregor goes to Vegas, he doesn't just sell tickets. Do you know that?

He adds like a $2 million to the economy. Now a lot of people do that. Michael Jackson could do that. Come to New York and fuck. McGregor does that? Think about it. When McGregor fights. People flying in. People flying in York and fuck. And Gregor does that? Think about it. All the people flying in. People flying in from fucking Ireland.

Oh yeah. He generates so much fucking cash. You cannot take that away from him. But he's made so much cash. Listen, it's tough. Who said it the best? It's tough to run five miles when you sleep on silk sheets. Yeah, yes.

You know, the hunger's gone. The hunger's gone. You go in the ring, and while you're getting beat up, you're thinking to yourself, I knew I was done. I knew I was done, I'm done. I'd rather be with three Chinese chicks right now. Fucking playing naked ping pong. You know what I mean?

I'm getting beat up by this guy, and I don't need this money. I'm gonna make 11 million. I don't need it, I got 300 million. There is a point where, but that's what makes the true champions, my father used to tell me. And even my shrink told me that, he goes,

he goes, you think it was hard now to make it? He goes, it was hard, right? He goes, yeah, he goes, it's hard to stay in there, Chaz. I'll never forget that. You know, you were saying before about feeders, I had this dream sitting behind the Comedy Store 20 years ago. And the dream, I used to talk to Ari. I mean, Ari discussed this about five years ago.

You sit behind the Comedy Store, you're back there at midnight, you're waiting another half hour to get on fucking stage to end your night. You know, you basically can't make rent. You hope you get a commercial audition so you can fucking cover the spread next month. And you dream about the day when you're just a regular comic that you sell in our clubs, you run a recurring TV show on ABC, they pay you well, you do six episodes, maybe somebody gives me a little gig for three weeks writing that was success for me Yeah, that would have been fine for me and I wasn't even want that I was just happy to do comedy and not do crime

All right for me. It was just if God if you could just help me do comedy live in a car Live in a car. Yeah, I read Ladies and gentlemen Lenny Bruce. He lived at the Chelsea. He did comedy and fucking burlesque shows. Yeah. And he lived with a bunch of dirty strippers. He never made money, right? I don't know. I don't even know. He shot heroin. But it didn't matter. If you read, he hung out with strippers, then he went back to the Chelsea. He banged them and he shot heroin. I'm in. I don't need to make money. It was $65 a week to live at the Chelsea.

I'm just saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let me tell you something. One day you get to be with CAA and one day you do get a manager like 3R's. And one day you are selling our theaters. And guess what? You still fighting for your life like a motherfucker.

Even double than when you weren't making that's it true You're fighting you're waking up in the morning with foam coming out of your mouth Yeah, because you know you're gonna get somebody's gonna try to fuck with you today Yeah, every fucking day and that's what got me. I just was the end I just I just write and keep writing and act and direct and that's why I've been around 40 years I just keep around 40 years I just keep doing it I don't let nobody stop me man that's it fuck it. 62 years old I've been with SAG since 1997 I got no insurance can somebody

tell me how the fuck that's possible when I joined SAG if you were 45 and been there for 10 years you invested. True. All of a sudden they changed the rules. I'm paying three grand a month for fucking insurance. Yeah, because too many people, and then they even changed, it used to be, you had to, they counted residuals. They still do, right?

They don't do anymore. Now they stop doing that. So now you gotta work every year and make 35,000 decide to do feature. You know, it's like, you got to that level and they threw more curve balls at you. You know, when I started comedy, well here's the deal, Joey.

Get, become a regular, get on a TV show, do six episodes, after that you sell sell out and an agent will sign you. I did four movies before an agent even and I had like six different little agents and those were before the The commercial day so you had to hand deliver. They didn't know Who I was with I would do showcases and invite all my four agents and I'd put them each at different sides They didn't know they all four sucked. Yeah, but between all four of them I get something from time right right right right at least one of

them but you learn I learned how they saw me also when I was going out for and what there was one guy was sending me off Latino auditions he's fired no Latino roles. Never. They'll let me read and take me to producers. But they want Chico and the man. They don't want me. They want me to stand.

So you learn about the guys who send you out, like construction people, that some people send you out as a chef. And it's just one guy that are waiting for the mobster role. So you learn all that shit. You learn the business. And that's the opportunity you had and I had that I really learned. There was a time, Chas, you know how I got to Longish Yard?

They weren't going to give it to me. They were going to give it to Vincent or Sarah Goosa. I was in Houston. I got coked up. And I was thinking, how the fucking, Adam Sandler's a comic, that's a comedy movie. I love Vincent, but he's not a comic and neither is Sarah Goosa. So I went to play the Gensports

and I bought everything a size too small and I had Chuck Savage, a friend of mine in Houston, tape me playing football at the University of Houston. I sent it to Chris Rock and he sent it to Adam and I learned that so I started doing that That's how I booked the American gangster and they broke up the movie and they put Fucko in it instead of Leonardo, right? Whatever. I had that I sent the tape. I

Used to just send tapes and I would go on pre yeah reproduction if the movie was shooting in New York, I didn't even know the role, I would just set the tape. I'm Joe Dears, I'm from the Upper West Side. Yeah, I mean. What the fuck you got to lose? It's called, I always tell young kids, show up, man. Show up, that's the other thing, that if you're not gonna show up,

it ain't worth you a while. If you don't show up. It ain't gonna worth you. The Bluebird of Happiness is not gonna knock on your door with an Adam Sandler movie. It's one of the biggest, 85% of success in life is showing up, man. That's it, you gotta get up in the morning,

and I was snorting Coke till six. I'm up at 7.30 with the breakdowns. I just did that. Okay, I'm up at 7.30 with the breakdowns. This is dead. I don't even think there's breakdowns anymore. I would be up at seven with the breakdowns so my agents had the roles

by the time they fucking got into their office. And then at nine oh one everybody got a call. Yo, did you get what I sent you? Call them up, see what they could do. And I would wait for the first idiot to call me back. If they didn't call me, then I'd call them each. Absolutely. What happened with the call of the chairs? Ah, the casting director isn't in. Fuck you.

And I'd wait and then I'd call the casting director. Yeah. Because I ain't waiting on you Fuck you. And I'm waiting, and then I call the casting director. Because I ain't waiting on you bitches. No, I'm not. Listen, I just did three shows in a row. Three big theaters, sold out every theater. I was exhausted. I woke up this morning, my wife says,

oh, you can rest today. I said, no, I gotta go. Joey Diaz called me to do a show. She goes, are you kidding? Aren't you gonna rest? I said, no. Going. It's like, no.

I got the opportunity to be with you, to do a great show. I'm fucking going. That's it. Show up. Show the fuck up. That's how I am. Everybody cries so much in California and other places. And guys, this just didn't happen.

This just didn't happen. You know? Yeah, the skies are lined from time to time and you just got to keep getting up every morning going, what the fuck am I gonna do next? This month I wanted to work, but I have health issues. Right. You know, I got the shortness of breath going on and my fucking divertulitis, so I got to keep... And now it's eating me alive.

Well, you gotta take care of yourself. I'm trying. You see me over here drinking water. Yeah, yeah. Well that's good. I've been drinking coke for 17 years. I'm loyal, I'm a loyal soldier, you know what I'm saying? I gotcha.

It's not like I'm eating fucking sausage every day. You know, when I moved here, I thought there was gonna be a problem. But then I came back and I'm like, I grew up on two slices a day. Right, we all did. Two slices and a coke for a quarter all day long at 230 over till six I don't even eat pizza. Yeah Yeah, you gotta take care of you too. It's a hard body. I

Ran from cops. Yeah, I ate prison food for nine months. That's like smoking cigarettes for 10 years. Eating that fucking astronaut food. So it's not like I'm a virgin here. You know you're gonna have some issues later on in life. I've been smoking dope since I'm 12. That means I'm officially smoking dope 40 years. What do you think? What do you think?

Congratulations. Now is when you start smoking Marlboro Reds Yeah, but you gotta be careful because after 50 the warranty runs out shit Oh in the last six months, I had a yeast infection in my ear an infection I'm a loose toot my fucking attention in the back is now You gotta be my fun guy toenail was worse than ever. I got diverkulitis my rash is back I got divertulitis, my rash is back. And I got fuckin'.

I got a rash that won't go away. They just shot me with everything. Maximilian, they shot me with more antibiotics. Everything disappeared except that rash came back. A fuckin' rash. Right under my titty here. It's like the fuckin' alien. It's under my tit, it's fucking here, it's on this foot.

It sucks getting old, but you can't give up. Can't give up, man. Can't give up. Today I went to box, I couldn't fucking breathe. I lasted 10 minutes today boxing. I put music on and I just started boxing. I started huffing and puffing, I stayed in there. I did some fucking, whatever you call those bats,

the club bats, they didn't fucking whatever. And I was like, I'm good, tomorrow all I gotta do is 15. And as long as you get a little better, every fucking day. You're right, bro. That's it. You're fucking right, man. Living like a doctor, dog. Everybody's trying to sell this shit to you,

and it's just easy. Yeah, you're easy. Get up. I'm telling you. Write your day out, let these motherfuckers know what you're thinking. I fucking work at it every day, Joey. Every day I get up. Every day.

And I go, what am I gonna do today to make my career better? That's the way it's gotta be, man. I mean, I enjoy my life. I have a great time with my family, but every day my mind's on the, I'm on the fucking ball with something. And that's why I've been around this long. You gotta, you gotta do it man. I see you out a lot man. Yeah. You do a cigar nights. Yeah. I have a cigar

line. I have a, and I don't, one day I just want to lay on a beach and just write. So I say okay, so I want to write. I have two restaurants, I have a cigar line, I have wine that's doing great. It's all planned, but you gotta work at it. Now I got no hobbies. Like I would have a cigar night, but I don't smoke cigars. Yeah, I don't smoke, I smoke very rarely. Oh, I fucking hate it.

And then they hit you with the cigar breath. Yeah. That really kills you. They start getting close to you. I dedicate the cigar to my grandfather. So I get away with it like that, which is true. I don't drink wine. So it's like, I can't put a bottle of wine out.

I could, but I'm lying to people. You're lying, yeah. Why do you drink wine? This wine is the best. Joey, you don't drink wine. I've never seen you hanging out with Julius Caesar. I don't know what, I tried the weed line and I'm not doing that again, that's a waste of time.

You're very rare to make money with that. See, there are some people who do. I did for a while and then it all went south and it's like, you know what, everybody's got fake accounting. Yes. And I figured out unless you're doing it all, you're picking it, growing it,

Absolutely. packaging it, there's no dough, everybody's always wanting to take it for the small 5%. What's up Lee? Hit him. You all right? You're sitting there like Zombo. Look at you.

Lee, you had a little sleep? No, I'm good, I'm good. I was wondering. You got some edibles, Lee? You got that edible look on you. I do. I do. Holy shit. Holy shit.

Holy shit. I busted you, didn't I? Not busted, but yeah. Yeah, like you're fucking ripped. Look at him. He's ripped. He should be ashamed of himself. He gives me one of those vile things.

We're taking him to rehab this month. He's not doing well, Shaz. Yeah. Well, that's the first thing you gotta do. Is rehab? Lay off the fucking mushrooms. No, no mushrooms tonight. He just did 100 milligrams.

I did not do 100 milligrams. I know he can talk. Oh yeah, I'm looking at him. He's no good, Shaz. What the fuck am I gonna ask this guy? What am I gonna ask? What were you gonna ask him? You forgot already, 10 times.

Oh, I forgot a million questions I wanted to ask you. All right, well, I gotta tell you, you gotta be on your game, baby. Oh, no, I love talking to you. Otherwise you'd be sitting in this chair 20 years from now. No, I was wondering how many people have told you about the rashes while they were interviewing you.

But no, I had to... All right, we're good, babe. Poor bastard, look at this shapey. I can't give you nothing. So what do you got coming up? Talk to me. How many more dates are on this? Oh, I'll be doing the,

this is like the national tour again I was doing. All they have to do is go to chasparmentary.net. I'm gonna be in Tarrytown next week, but that's sold out. But I'm gonna be in Tarrytown. If, but that's sold out. But I'm going to be a Tarrytown. If you go to Chairs, Palmetto, Terry dot net. My whole schedule is there. You can get tickets right there. Or you could see it.

You can see it shot with five cameras. The one man show. So Amazon Prime, Google, Fandango and what else? Amazon, Apple, Apple TV. And that's doing great. So I'm very excited. I'm going back on Godfather of Harlem with Forrest Whitaker. That comes April 18th?

April 18th. See, I'm gonna do my homework. Yeah. And fuck with me, dog. Yeah, no, fuck with you dog. That's a great show. You like it too? You're watching season one.

The fourth episode's coming out, then I'm just, I'm on for the fifth episode, for the fifth season. And Grave's End I'm doing again the fifth episode for the fifth season and a great Zan I'm doing again. So there's a lot of stuff. I mean, I'm just like I'm doing a movie in April in Rhode Island. I forgot the name of it with Chad Verde. And actually, my son has the lead in it.

And he's very excited about that. I have a small part, which is good. And so a lot of great things are happening. Really good. My life, every day I wake up and I look to God, I go, thank you, Jesus, thank you, thank you, thank you. Every day I say that, thank you. Because I look at my life and I look at where I came from

and I look at some guys that I look at where I came from and I look at some guys that I grew up with and hung with and some of the lot of them are not here and some of them, you know, some did very well, some not and I go, I don't know what I did right but thank you. And I really do Joe, I do, I say thank you, I'm so grateful, so grateful man, really. Thank you for what you do man. And thank you, you're so grateful. So grateful, man, really. Thank you for what you do, man. And thank you, you're a great inspiration, you really are. You fucking hired me.

Yeah. He hired me. Yeah. A long time ago. Well, I see talent right away, you know. He didn't fucking know. All I had to do was get thrown in the pool. No, I see fucking.

But you know what? Certain people, you could just say, you know what? He's got that thing that people like. Fuck like fucking get it. I always enjoyed that role because I met two of the nicest on top of you I met your buddy from Sons of Anarchy yes the old guy that played who Dayton what's his name Dayton Callie Dayton Callie he was fucking great great but I met that dude that died He was on that show on CBS and he died before after he did the Travolta movie New York guy

Really fucking good guy. Yeah, you hired him as a yeah. He was one of the major roles in that movie Yeah, men versus women was the major roles in that movie. Men vs. Women was the movie. Men vs. Women, that's correct. And he was on the set and I was fucking in awe. Cause I had grown up watching him on, come on guys, the show with the really good blonde woman that was on CBS, Sybil Shepard, one of those fucking blondes on CBS,

he played the plumber or something like that. Come on now! Yes, Candice Burton. And the show, like the plumber or something. Oh, come on. Yes, Candice Bernard And the show and he was a great actor Richard What the fuck was his name? I can't think of anybody fucking schooled me dog. He's great school great actor schooled me And you'll know who he is. I did definitely know I think he did They don't know I don't know. No, I shouldn't say that. I don't know if he did. I don't know who he is. You'll definitely know. Did he die of an OD? I think he did. They don't know.

I don't know. No, I shouldn't say that. I don't know if he did. I don't know if he did. He died in his sleep. He died in his sleep. I was so. Yes.

And I had just lost a role to him in that movie, the second part of Get Shorty. Yeah, he was so. And usually I would tell those, I would go home and kill a chicken and do some Santeria to fucking get rid of him. Yeah, no, he was terrific. And I went home going, you know what? If I lost a role to him, I'm doing something right.

It was me and him, I'm doing something right. Cause this guy was fucking. You know what, I've been very fortunate. Richie. Richie. Richie. Richie. First name was Richie. Funny guy. What about me? Oh, he was funny.

He always go, what about me oh he was funny he always go what about me what about me funny guy and he's in the movie with Arnold Schwarzenegger yeah when they do what's the movie the other yeah guys in that movie you know the guy who plays the gangster Joe in in bullets over Broadway Joe the one that's over early Joe Verrelli was Sean Penn's neighbor. Sean Penn talked him into fucking acting. That dude, Joe Verrelli. Joe Vitz is in that movie too.

Terrific, Joe Verrelli. The one they, oh, the one with Vanessa Williams. The Fed movie with Arnold kidnapped Vanessa Williams and she's got the pay paperwork to the mob in Baltimore. There was a lot of people I hired as a writer and director. Billy Porter. I just saw Billy Porter recently and now Billy's huge. And he just had talent when you see people like that. They just exude talent. And I knew from, you know, and who's the guy who played Basquiat great actor? Oh my god a black actor He's I forgot his name, but he did it. He did a small part for me in a movie

I did I produced and he did it I said this fucking guy and he did this little part and he was so great And now he's huge megastar and you can just see it. You know, you were no blow smoke. You were the same way It's just a character. It's a character. It's like bigger than life. When I saw you on stage, when I went to see you on stage, the fucking crowd, it was like a fucking Mooney Convention.

You scream and I, Joey, you didn't even fucking come out yet. And you were opening for Joe, you know, you know, in Atlantic City. Atlantic City. Yes. And I said, holy shit, what the fuck is going on? Yes. And there was screaming like it was like a fucking cult. Joe, hey, Joey. And then you come out and your first words are, what's up, motherfuckers? And the place goes nuts. They love all that shit. Holy shit.

What's up, cocksuckers? All day long they ain't gonna miss them. I couldn't believe it. I mean, and moms of people, it's just, you know, you have the it thing. You know what I mean? You go out there. How you doing, Lee?

You ever heard? I'm doing great. Right? You want us to get- I'm back. You want us to call 911 or anything? Not yet. I was gonna ask you about your podcast. How you got started with your podcast.

You know, I'm glad you brought that up. People want to see me on my podcast. Go to Chad's Palletary Show. It's on YouTube, it's on Google, Apple, and it's a great show, man. I have a lot. It's all along with Fat Joe? Yeah, Fat Joe is on.

You know, I'm a big fan of him. I've had a lot of good people. Captain, Captain Arducci. Captain Arducci, you've been on. Billy Joel's been on. I got a lot of good people, man. I've is on. I'm a big fan of him. I've had a lot of good people. Captain, Captain Arducci. Captain Arducci. I love him. You've been on. Billy Joel's been on. I've got a lot of good people, man.

I've been on. You've been on. Our friend, Tera. We had a good time. You've been on. You've toured a place up. My wife had those fucking food. Tremendous.

My wife is... Joey Diaz, the nicest person. I said... And he's always like... She's always talking about... Oh, please tell Joey I said hi. And he's always going... I said, hey, Joey and she, he's always like, she's always talking about, oh please tell Joey I said hi. And he's always going, send you, I said, hey Joey, you fucked my wife.

I felt like De Niro in fucking Rage and Full. She's a sister from down here. Yeah, I know. She grew up down there. She grew up right down there, yeah. That's fucked, I thought she was gonna come with you. I'm heartbroken. Yeah, no she couldn't.

She went down the fucking corner, I think she said 48th Street or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's family, you know, when you, you know, when I see her, she the fucking corner. Yeah. Think she said 48th Street or something? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's family. That's crazy. You know, when you, you know, I see her, she's fucking beautiful. What nationality is she?

What? What nationality is she? She's full Italian. First generation Italian. She came here, she couldn't speak English. How's that? All the time. Wow.

Yeah. Speaks Italian. Union City ain't fucking around. What's that? Union City put out some good looking women. Oh yeah. My wife Yeah. Speaks Italian. Union City ain't fucking around. What's that? Union City put out some good looking women. Oh yeah, my wife's a good looking woman. His grandmother. Union City fucking beauty queen and shit.

Yeah, that's great man. Fucking pretty girls in Jersey. Jersey girls man. As the song says bro. Well really thanks for having me Joe. Doug, it's an honor to have you on here. And I can't wait to see you on Godfather. Thank you. I appreciate that.

That's one of my favorite fucking shows. I've been waiting for two years. Yeah, I know. It's fine. I know that the chin is gone. Yes. But I'm sure he worked around and everything's going to be beautiful. Everything's going to be great. I'm going to tell you who's real quick. I'm going to tell you who blows me away lately. Who?

Bo Deedle. Oh, Bo's great. Bo is getting better and better. He is. And better. How is this Monday night? Should I go to one of them? Yes. I just feel weird. You know he's got a lot of happy-duty people there. Oh you should go. Cops, judges. I've been there. It's great. Okay. Because he's asked me. Oh you know but Bo is great. I love Bo. love both always fucking great And let me tell you something both fucking the Irishman with Bob De Niro and Al Pacino He held his own. He held his own. He fucking held his own without the shirt with the water He was fucking all is great. He's smart He plays these parts. That's right in his wheelhouse. You know what I'm saying, and he's great at it, man He's fuck and I work with him in God? And he's great at it, man.

He's fuck, and I worked with him in Godfather. He's great at it. He really is, and a great guy too. So you're coming back. Yeah. Because you went away. They sent you away. Yeah, they sent me away after, I did two seasons,

then they sent me away because my character, I got exiled, they were gonna kill me. So I went to retirement, and they just brought me back for season four and five. You wrote the book when you were away? What book? The book he wrote, Man of Honor. No, I didn't write Man of Honor.

Not you, your character. Oh, my character, yes. Oh, I'm sorry, I scared you. I said, what the fuck did I do? Is that when he writes the book when he goes away for those two years? They're gonna talk about it. I'm not supposed to talk about it.

Where the fuck do you think you're dealing with? Joey Bananas? Fucking Joe Bananas over there. You think I just walked on a hunting car kind of rap? I love you my brother. God bless you. Thank you.

And support Chaz any way you can. Thank you. Lee, where you at this weekend? I'm at the House of Comedy in Minnesota opening up for Josh Wolfe Friday and Saturday. And me, I got dick. I'm on the sabbatical, I'm trying to get healthy. I'll let you know, I'll do some pop-up shows.

Leo definitely come and you guys are fantastic. Thank you very much for watching the show and it's my birthday Wednesday. Hey, happy birthday. Hey! Happy birthday. I'm officially three years collecting social and I'm taking it because that means my daughter gets three years. Wow. Until she's 18.

That's great. So whatever they give me they give her. That's right. So I just got to stay alive now. I love you cocksuckers. Stay black. Hey, Uncle Joey here. Listen, it's time to get that dick in proper working order. It's February already, you know what I'm saying?

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