Uncover - S22 E4: The Crush | "The Band Played On"

Episode Date: August 21, 2023

On a clear spring day in 2017, witnesses call 911 to report a fiery car crash. The driver of the car is a high school music teacher who’d been facing charges of sexual assault. That teacher's former student, Laurie Howat, is the one who pulls the thread that unravels a troubling web of secrets. Listener discretion is advised.

My name is Graham Isidor. I have a progressive eye disease called keratoconus. Unmaying I'm losing my vision has been hard, but explaining it to other people has been harder. Lately, I've been trying to talk about it. Short Sighted is an attempt to explain what vision loss feels like by exploring how it sounds. By sharing my story, we get into all the things you don't see

about hidden disabilities. Short Sighted, from CBC's Personally, available now. This is a CBC Podcast. Just a quick note before we begin. You're going to be hearing victims of sexual abuse share some disturbing details. It can be difficult to listen to. This podcast is not intended for young audiences and it contains explicit language. If you find these stories affect you, please reach

out to a mental health professional for help. Definitely one of the big high schools here and joining us from Bell High from their instrumental music department is Tim Stanitz. Great to have you on the show. This is a clip of Tim Stanitz from a CTV morning show interview in 2011. There's a lot going on at Bell High School in music. We've got the concert bands, we've got the jazz ensemble, we've got a string orchestra that we play on Fridays. We've got a vocal program which has got concert choirs, all male choirs, all vocal female choirs and on top of that we've got a great arts program in general with drama.

Stanitz was the music teacher and band leader at Bell High for 30 years. He took over after Bob Clark left the school in 1986. Well, we give the kids the opportunity to perform, which is awesome. Stanitz commanded a lot of respect from students and the administration. Many students called him sir. Nice. And we've got great musicians here behind us. Who are they? We do. Great Levin students formed their own band. Portrait of an artist. He was also well known in Ottawa's jazz community. In this YouTube video Stanitz plays the double bass in one of the many groups he performed with over the years. Stanitz made a career out of not just making music, but creating musicians.

That all came to an end in 2016. Stanitz was forced to leave the classroom after police laid charges of sexual assault. But that case never got to trial. Ottawa Fire, what's your emergency? Yeah, we need fire paramedics, the whole works. There's a truck on fire at the Emerald Lakes Golf Course

on Mitch Airwins Road. May 15, 2017. What do you see exactly? A dump truck. A car hit a dump truck head-on. The person ejected from the car? The man ejected from the car is Tim Stanitz. It's out in the country on a long stretch of paved road.

It was a sunny spring day. Several people called 911. And then firefighters, paramedics and police responded to the scene. When the vehicles collided, they were both engulfed in flames. One driver was taken to hospital with undisclosed injuries. The second driver was pronounced dead at the scene. Tim Stanitz is dead. Other police sources say Stanitz died by suicide.

I'm told firmly no one will talk about this on the record. And I'm not able to speak to a cop directly involved in the crash investigation. Yet I hear the same details over and over again from multiple different sources. Some connected to Bell High. But some people, including Stanitz's former colleague at Bell, Diane Langlois, aren't convinced. I don't believe it. No. And the support with him was unbelievable. And then when the room said, oh, well, maybe he committed suicide.

No, I don't believe it. You don't think he committed suicide? Absolutely not. Stanitz's widow and family friends don't believe it either. Tim Stanitz had hired a lawyer. friends don't believe it either. Tim Stanitz had hired a lawyer. He was planning on defending himself against what he and his supporters said were false allegations. We showed up, we were shocked, we supported him right away. Former vice principal's principal says when it goes to trial we'll all be there and be witnesses. Diane Langlois thinks of his four kids. He was going to be walking his

daughter down the aisle. She was getting married. His family meant the world to him. You know, they really did. Like, he always cared for everybody else before himself, so I don't believe it. Not at all. Langlois does know girls got close to Stanitz. Because when you are in coaching, when you're in musicals, there are students that do become close to you. There are students that will land up in your office, I know this myself, morning, noon, and night, or even as a guidance counselor, we try and take over the counseling of them.

He would move them forward to us, have us contact parents. It was, I really don't believe, I don't know any of my colleagues that were there that did believe it. I'm Julie Ireton. For years, dozens of students, teen boys and girls, were abused by three teachers. The teachers worked in the same public high school in a sleepy suburb. Two of the teachers taught music. They conducted school band. They were popular, successful.

I wanted to be loved. I wanted to be touched. It was exciting. So therefore, is it my fault? I didn't know what was going on or why he was doing it or what he wanted from me. I'm in my teacher's bed and I'm lying here and this is not where I'm supposed to be. In 1986, music teacher Tim Stanitz replaced Bob Clark at Bell High and the band played on. This is a podcast from CBC Ottawa, episode four, The Crush.

You know, I fantasized and imagined that, you know, maybe he likes me too. Maybe he wants what I want. It was 2003. Lori Howitt was in grade 11. She was lovesick over one of the most popular guys at Bell High School. She was 16. I had developed a crush on him. The couple spent as much time together as possible,

before school, at lunch, again after school. He and I were together, like connected at the hip. Lori Howitt had long, straight brown hair and chocolate-colored eyes. He was handsome, charismatic. Commonplace, multiple times a day thing where we would be, you know, physically intimate at school and then go about our day and then come back to it at lunch and it was just part of the routine and she thought other girls were prettier smarter but he had picked her he was literally my everything and i felt so special and it was like years of myself and Mr. Stanitz. And I just, thinking back then, I thought, I knew it was wrong,

but the reason I thought it was wrong was because he was married, not because he was my teacher. Stanitz's teaching career began in 1986, before Laurie Howitt was even born. Just tell me your name and how old you are. I'm Laurie, and I'm 31. Laurie Howitt's brown hair falls onto her shoulders, just like when she was a teenager. Her dark eyes match her hair. I went to Bell High School in Ottawa, Ontario. Can you tell me the years? 2001

to 2005. She sits across from me, curled up in a big armchair. She's guarded. I first reached out to Lori Howitt months ago. After several conversations, she decided to tell me her story. When did you meet Tim Stanitz as a teacher? I'm I guess technically met him when I was in grade eight going to my older brother's music concerts. Then she became his student. He started paying special attention to her. That began in grade nine. He would always find some way to acknowledge me or single me out in a positive way where I felt special or chosen. Sometimes he would walk past me and just flick me on the head with his baton on his way out without saying anything and it just made me feel unique. Lori's mom died of cancer the year before. The extra attention was nice. I'm a

teenager. I'm not talking to my dad because it's weird at home. Mom's not there anymore. Tim Stanitz stepped in. But he would say things in regards to my clothing or shoes if they were disheveled. You know, why isn't your dad buying you new shoes? He must not care about you. And, um, my teacher bought me new shoes and, um, Mr. Stanitz bought me new shoes and, um, he, um, it made me feel like, okay, he, he cares about me. He's looking out for me. He was just the nice, the nice teacher that would do anything for any kid. So when he would present me with a sandwich while I'm sitting with a group of my friends, no one thought it was weird because it was just what a nice thing for this man to do,

to look out for this student who's going through a hard time. I was head over heels. It sounds so silly to say that now because we're talking about a man and a child. But back then I felt, you know, he sees something in me and I'm worth something. She felt an attraction to him and she wondered if it was mutual. The moment I was sure was we were in his office and I was leaning up against a filing cabinet with my head on my forearms because I had a terrible headache. And he came up behind me and started to rub my shoulders. And he was very close to me, and I felt his erection against my backside.

And that's when I knew that, okay, there's no more mixed signals. He definitely feels the same. That was in grade 11. She was 16 years old. He would say things, you know, in the heat of the moment, like whispering into my ear, look what you're doing to me, as he would point down to his erection. And at the time, that made me feel, you know, powerful and sexy. Like, I must

be so wonderful. Look what I'm doing. The sexual activity became part of their daily routine. Every single day, I would skip homeroom. And during the national anthem playing throughout the school, I would be in his office chair performing oral sex on him. And then when homeroom was over, I was in his class for the next period and we would just carry on with music or whatever class I was in, guitar, and carry on as normal until we could escape into his office or the next break or lunch or spare where we would continue. That was multiple times a day every single day of my grade 12 year. At that point in her mind it was an affair. I thought that was the only thing that is bad about the situation is that he is being unfaithful to his wife and I am wrecking that home because I had such love for him

and I, you know, seduced him to make him do these horrible things. Laurie Howitt says Tim Stanitz had everyone fooled. Other teachers, other students, guidance counselors, they all saw there was a close relationship with her and Mr. Stanitz and no one questioned it. We were alone quite a bit, and that would be before, during, and after school. But a lot of the time, there were other students and other teachers that were around while inappropriate things were happening. things were happening. He was very brave, I guess, and I'm learning now, many years later, that I think he was almost arrogant because of the reputation he had built for himself. So it really speaks to

how confident he felt that he could get away and was getting away and did get away with everything that he did. And in Laurie Howitt's own heart at the time, it was no different than if she'd been in love with a boy her own age. The way he would hold me and kiss my head and caress me when we hugged, you know, I felt that he definitely cared about me and I felt loved. He didn't say it, I just understood that our relationship, whatever we had, would finish when I left high school. And I just, I knew that it would end when I left. And I was just kind of, you know, cherishing every moment that I had with him. Lori Howitt graduated from Bell High in 2005.

And she says on Stanitz's advice, she didn't go to college. Instead, she got a retail job, and then once a week, she went back to Bell's music department as a volunteer. He invited me back to what he claims help with paperwork and filing and stuff. The same thing continued. It was exactly as it was when I was in high school, but just for one day a week. And I never signed into the office as a visitor. But the relationship did end in 2006. Lori remembers the last time she ever saw him was at the funeral of a former student. I saw him at the funeral, and he drove me home to my apartment.

Nothing took place. He just, one thing I do remember is that he did stop at like a Max Milk or a Quickie and he withdrew money from an ATM to give me to help pay rent. But I think that's the last time we spoke and saw each other in person. Eventually, Lori Howitt started to date other men her own age. But these relationships were difficult. For years, she just couldn't shake her experience with her high school music teacher. Basically, from 2006 to 2016, I considered myself a slut.

I was this whore who seduced this wonderful man and made him do a bad thing. It weighed on her mind more than she thought it should, but she tried to move on. In 2016, she was 29 and in a budding relationship. I was explaining to someone my entire sexual history, and I mentioned, oh, by the way,'t matter because you know he's not creepy or anything but me and my teacher used to do some stuff and like he's a good man it wasn't it wasn't bad he's not a predator but this is what happened and I just wanted to be honest with you and that person linked me to an article on child grooming and as I read through it, line by line is exactly what had happened to me.

And I just felt horrified. I felt sick and I threw up. All of a sudden I'm finding out that perhaps it isn't what I thought and that he took advantage of me. And I'm struggling with the feelings of betrayal because I thought everything was genuine. And that's still something I'm conflicted about. You know, did he care? It turned her happy memories of high school completely upside down. She felt betrayed. She felt dirty. She felt abused. But there was something inside me that knew I needed to go to the police and see this through.

But I still at that time was confused, very confused about what was real, what wasn't real. Was it my fault? Did I seduce him? Did I make him do this? Was he bad? Is he bad? That would constitute a situation where a child could not legally consent to engaging in sexual activity, even if they're willing. To Noni Klassen, there is no grey area, no confusion. The relationship was illegal. I am the Director of Education at the Canadian Centre for Child Protection. Tell me a little bit about the organization. What does it do?

Sure. Well, our organization is actually a national charity, part of the federal strategy here in Canada to reduce the incidence of children who are sexually victimized. In Canada, the legal age children who are sexually victimized. In Canada the legal age to consent to sex is 16 but it is criminal for a teacher to have a relationship with a student under the age of 18 even if that student is a willing participant. If these students are six or five years old people are would be alarmed right and right away there'd be no question but somehow because they're

16 there seems to be this well it's not the same where it actually is we still have a child in their formative years who it impacts their development it's corrosive to it and it's a betrayal of trust this is where people get confused around if a child can legally consent versus their willingness to engage in a sexual relationship. And why we have laws around that is because children can easily be coerced and manipulated in their perceptions because they're in their formative years. And it isn't unusual for a youth to have a crush on a teacher. to have a crush on a teacher. What is unusual and forbidden is for any teacher to reciprocate or take advantage of a student. Three teachers who worked at Bell High crossed into that forbidden territory.

The circumstances were all different. The result was the same. Teens were hurt. Teachers gained trust and attention. Students were primed. But the teens weren't the only ones. These individuals who end up victimizing children are grooming not only the children, but grooming the adults. We'd all like to think that we'd spot someone who was harming kids around us.

But Noni Klassen says it's not always so easy. They'll start to make comments about the kids too to legitimize what they're doing as well. And then other people who are witnessing it will start to notice information that corroborates it. The predator might give special attention to a troubled kid. They build a close relationship, offering rides home, tutoring after school, becoming the unofficial guidance counsellor.

So where we see problems happening are individuals who seek and create the opportunity to extend their relationship with the child for a legitimate purpose for it to become more personal and emotional in terms of the sharing. And then no one questions it. and emotional in terms of the sharing, and then no one questions it. She notes the adults around might have an inkling of doubt about these relationships, but that doubt is overridden because the abuser has cultivated an image. And I think the reason is because they trusted him. Laurie Howitt thinks her teacher was a wolf in sheep's clothing. When we spoke last time, you said he had everyone fooled. He did, and still has a lot of people fooled, even though he's gone,

because he normalized all of his behaviors. It was normal for him to hug a student. It was normal for him to have a student in his office with him alone, kind of counseling and talking or mentoring. In 2016, Tim Stanitz was still teaching music at Bell High School. Lori Howitt kept thinking maybe he's still doing it to someone else. I did tell my psychologist about it. I knew that she had the duty to report because he was still an educator of children.

So there were potential victims. So I told her with the understanding that she is going to have to report this. So my psychologist after our session contacted Children's Aid and Ottawa Police Service, and a detective called me in March of 2016, late March, after I had told my psychologist. And I remember saying in my interview with the detective that, you know, I don't even know if this is a crime because I don't know how old you have to be to consent to this. Then the police detectives gave Laurie Howitt something she hadn't had for 15 years, control over the situation.

So it was my decision. They said that they believe me. They said they believed me because I was credible, because I admitted that I loved him and in my eyes was consenting. And they did say that they believe that they can have a conviction if we were to go to court, and it's up to me if I want to press charges or not. And I said, yes. I hadn't even given it thought.

It was just my gut that answered. It's like, yes, let's do this. They did an investigation based on everything I had to say, and on May 6, 2016, charges were laid against Mr. Stanitz. The school board suspended Stanitz with pay, removed him from the classroom. Laurie Howitt was not the only woman who had gone to police about Tim Stanitz.

There were more victims, and they'd gone to Bell High before her. In 2017, it felt like drugs were everywhere in the news. So I started a podcast called On Drugs. We covered a lot of ground over two seasons, but there are still so many more stories to tell. I'm Jeff Turner, and I'm back with season three of On Drugs. And this time, it's going to get personal. I don't know who Sober Jeff is.

I don't even know if I like that guy. On Drugs is available now wherever you get your podcasts. The next and final tune that this band will do is called North Point Fantasy. It's December 1998 and the auditorium is full of parents for Bell High School's Christmas concert. This grainy video from that night shows a younger Tim Stanitz. He's leading the junior concert band wearing a tux and a red bow tie. Someone has captured the event on a handycam. I was band president for junior bands, so that would have been in grade 10. Casey Morris is one of the kids wearing a white shirt and black pants at this concert. I was band president for junior band, so that would have been in grade 10.

Casey Morris is one of the kids wearing a white shirt and black pants at this concert. She's not visible in the video, but she remembers being there, playing the clarinet. I loved playing, even though I was terrible at it. I enjoyed being in the department, and it was a good elective to keep taking, so I just kind of continued with it. 18 years after that concert at Bell, Casey Morris found out her former music teacher had been charged for sexual assault. And, you know, it was like being punched in the gut, but I instantly knew I had no choice. I couldn't leave Lori on her own to fight this on her own. Casey Morris is now 36.

She lives in New Brunswick. In 2016, she didn't know who had gone to police. At that point, Lori Howitt's name was protected by a publication ban, but Casey didn't question those allegations. No, I did not know who it was. Although I'm certain that Lori and I probably ran into each other and met in that one year we overlapped in high school. But on social media, former students and colleagues were quick to come to the defense of Tim Stanitz. People said his anonymous accuser was a liar.

The allegations had to be false. I knew that she was going to have an uphill battle with simply even just people believing it. But also, I knew at that point I couldn't live with myself if I didn't take the opportunity that was presented to me to finally speak up. In 1997, Tim Stanitz's gaze fell to Casey Morris. He taught me in grade 9, 11, 12, and 13. Tim Stanitz was a good teacher. I mean, he cared about teaching, and he was very involved.

Like Lori Howitt, Casey Morris has straight brown hair. It hangs past your shoulders. And like Lori, Casey was smitten. I definitely had a crush on him. He was my main support through most of high school, someone I felt I could talk to and trust. Her parents had just split up, her father wasn't in her life, and her relationship with her mother was strained.

He was an ear. He was someone who was there to listen and support. I felt like he saw me. He made me feel valuable, I guess. Tim Stanitz was 23 years older than she was. Yeah, he was good support. Casey Morris was in grade 11 when things escalated to a new level. My trust over the years. The physical aspect kind of started oddly with just a hug in one of the back rooms in the music room one night after

school where he just he hugged me and he didn't let go it was the type of hug that you give someone whom you feel needs support and comforting and even the you know when you hug someone and you want to release and you do that kind of tap to pull away he didn't let me pull away at that and I found it very odd at the time thinking, well, I don't need support, but maybe he needs this. And so I let him have this hug. But I know that ultimately, I gave him such control in that moment, didn't let him release me. And then from there, very quickly, it escalated to hands wandering and different touching. And that that happened within a few days after that hug. It quicklyated to hands wandering and different touching. And that happened within a few days after that hug.

It quickly progressed to hands down the pants and up the shirt and physical masturbation and fingering and touching. It was really overwhelming. I remember there's a certain amount of enjoyment from it, but also fear. I didn't know what was going on or why he was doing it or what he wanted from me. And he didn't stop?

No. It pretty much went right on until I graduated. Casey Morris didn't want this kind of attention. She knew it was wrong. It made her uncomfortable, but she didn't know how to stop it. I actually saw him a couple years after graduating. So it was at Bell, and I think I was probably there for one of my brother's concerts. I sat him down, and I tried to make him understand that there had been

damage done and that what he did wasn't okay. I remember trying to make him see what if someone who's doing that to your daughter, how would you feel? But there was still never any reaction. Still the same straight face. At this point, Casey was in her early 20s, and Lori was in high school. The moment I learned, I learned shortly after I pressed charges that she was younger than me. So that part has been a very painful struggle for the last two years. Getting to know her and getting to know her story has been painful because it happened to someone else, but there's been a certain catharsis because I know I'm not alone. But it is hard not to feel immense guilt and shame that I didn't speak up when it

happened. She believes that other teachers and band trip chaperones could have and should have raised alarm bells. Two people who worked and volunteered with this music teacher have told me they warned Stanitz not to spend so much time alone with teen girls. But the victims tell me abuse continued. Nobody wants to see what's right in front of their eyes when someone is also such a positive influence. It's the reason I didn't want to stop them and didn't want to call them out. And the first time adults found out about what happened, it was a couple years after I'd graduated. And the reaction was to shame me and blame me.

And that shame and blame was part of the reason she left Ottawa and headed to the East Coast. I've never really wanted to go back to Ottawa. It had huge effects on my life afterwards. Relationships, sex. I mean, I had denied this for almost two decades, so there's a certain amount of denial that makes things easier to get through your daily life, when you have to function in your daily life and you have to go to work.

Sometimes it's hard to have... But she didn't hesitate when she heard about the initial charges against Stanitz. Casey Morris called the police the same day. Right so I called as soon as I within the hour or two of seeing the news article just to calm down I called out to them from the detective on that Saturday morning. After investigating Casey's allegations police laid charges. In the end a a total of six counts, including sexual assault and sexual exploitation, were filed against Tim Stanitz. The preliminary trial was set for August 2017. Then, everything changed. Ottawa Fire, what's your emergency? Yes, hi, a big truck is on fire. Then, everything changed. Stanitz was dead.

A police officer called Casey Morris to tell her the news. Every emotion possible. I mean, I certainly, I left work that day and I broke down. There was everything from rage, sorrow, and a huge relief. I mean, there was relief at knowing I wasn't going to have to go to court in front of strangers and talk. But a lot of anger that I felt that I'd opened up a wound and come forward for something that felt like it wasn't going to pay off. The charges against Stanitz were stayed. Nothing was going to happen. and that was very painful.

When I finally made the decision to come forward, I had fought for years with this pain, and I had finally reached a point where I realized I didn't do anything. He destroyed himself, and he was responsible for all of this, and I felt that his death robbed him of that responsibility again and left us just hanging. Lori Howitt says a police detective she spoke to confirmed the cause of death. Police sources told me the same story. People don't realize that he's committed suicide, or the people that do realize it's a suicide

think that it's because he was so torn over these false allegations. So in a sense, he dies an innocent man who has never proven guilty. And no one is willing to hear me anymore because why would I speak ill of a man who's died? You know, that's disrespectful. Why would I speak ill of a man who's died? You know, that's disrespectful. So that's when I really started to realize that, you know, am I ever going to be okay? A church funeral for Tim Stanitz was held in a small village on the outskirts of Ottawa on May 25, 2017. Friends, family, former colleagues and students were there.

The allegations against him were set aside, buried. Lori Howitt felt empty. I mean, only he knows how many victims there are. What are we supposed to do? Because we know this happened to us. Our families believe us, our therapists believe us. Our therapists believe us. The police believe us. But we get no justice.

It took Lori Howitt to a very dark place. He got to kill himself to be free of his burdens. And, you know, he was my teacher, and maybe that's what he's taught me. You know, if he got to do it, why can't I? I felt completely lost for the first time. I didn't see how it could possibly get better. He took everything from me and all I had left was my day in court.

And he took that from me too. Lori Howitt had the strength to ask for help and she got herself to an emergency department. She continues to heal. I began you know getting counseling at the rape crisis center and learning because even after he died I still believed it was my fault and I've just began the journey to understand that I didn't do anything wrong, and I was a child, and he took advantage of me. And then another woman came out of the shadows. She got in touch with me.

Okay, he's just putting me closer. Is that better? Yeah, that's good. Another woman coming to touch with me. Okay, he's just putting me closer. Is that better? Yeah, that's good. Another woman coming to terms with abuse. It was good. It was a nervous drive, but it was a good drive. Yeah? You're feeling nervous about this, huh? A little bit. Take a deep breath. And it's not live, right?

No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. Sarah Buchanan was Tim Stannis' student in the early 1990s, another brown-haired girl. Since this has come out and I've seen pictures of Cassie and Laurie, I can't help but feel how awkwardly strange that is, that all three of us have similar features. Sarah Buchanan, now Sarah Hahn, started music at Bell High School in 1991. Laurie Howitt would have been starting four-year-old kindergarten that year, and Casey Morris was nine. I owe them an apology that I didn't stand up back then

and say something in the way that I probably could have or should have. Sarah Hahn is married. She has three daughters, and she now lives in Bayfield, Ontario, on the banks of Lake Huron. But no, this is forever has changed my life, and it's changed my relationship with my kids in the sense that I... Sarah Hahn's story is remarkably similar to the other women. As a teen, Tim Stanitz was her unofficial counsellor and intimate confidant. At that time, I just felt so alone.

And to have somebody who is an adult that you are supposed to trust to be able to come and be that for you was something amazing at that particular time before things changed. What upsets her now is she says adults knew something was going on. Or if they didn't know, they definitely suspected. Sarah Hahn says one evening in 1994, another teacher at Bell called her parents to a meeting. Her mom and dad were also teachers at nearby schools. They went and they met with another teacher and when they came back I was given all of these directions as to I wasn't allowed to be in the music room alone. I wasn't allowed to have any alone time with Mr.

Stantz whatsoever. These adults had concerns but it was the teenager who was told to change her behavior. I just knew that I was supposed to stay away. I don't know if anything was said to Tim Stanitz. Sarah says at the time, neither her mom nor her dad told her exactly why things had to change. So I called him and I said, I'm sorry if I've done anything wrong, I don't know. And he was really upset. He had no knowledge on that at all. Her parents wanted Stanitz's special attention to end, but Sarah Hahn says it was the opposite that happened.

Something popped in him where all of a sudden, if there was any feelings that he was trying to do something criminal with me, then this was the time now he was going to turn on that button and go for it because now all of a sudden it felt like things were being taken away from him. At this time in 1994, Sarah Hahn was part of a quintet at Bell. It was led by their teacher Tim Stanitz and it meant that he and Sarah would spend a lot of time together outside school. And we recorded three songs, and I'm in two of them, playing the flute and singing. From the hills of the Cajun

On the cover of this recording, a tape cassette, the five group members are all dressed up. Tim Stanitz has his arm around Sarah. And then we ended up doing gigs during the evenings or weekends. A lot of extracurricular time was spent with her teacher. He took her to the mall.

He listened. He was supportive, even protective of her. Sarah welcomed this attention, but then the relationship veered into illicit territory. It became very, very much about physical touch and fondling and groping and seeing how far he could take it. One evening,

Tim Stanitz took her home. My parents had gone away, and I'm not sure where they had gone. His family was away too. He had said that his wife was in Timmins and she was visiting family there and that I could stay with him and that way he could take me to and from school. I wouldn't be worried about anything. I'd be completely safe. She remembers the two of them drove to his home

in his family's minivan and he asked her to duck down before they got to his neighborhood. Partway through the drive I would have to get on the floor of the van because he didn't want to be seen with anybody in the vehicle. Her teacher drove around to the back gate and then Sarah snuck into the backyard and she says he'd unlock the door and let her in. She remembers they spent the evenings watching movies in the basement like teenagers. Then it was time for bed. We went to bed and I remember feeling that this was not right and I

felt so sick and I didn't know what to do and I didn't know how to get out of it or say this. I changed my mind. I went into to the bathroom and kind of hid behind there so he couldn't see me change. It came out in pajamas and got right into the bed, which then made me also feel really ill because I thought I'm in my teacher's bed who's married and I'm lying here and this is not where I'm supposed to be. I remember feeling so sick and Mr. Stans trying to calm me down, saying that it was okay and that everything's just going to go to bed, nothing's going to happen, it's going to be okay. And I went and threw up in his washroom. I physically couldn't take the stress of where I thought this was going

and I went back into bed and he lay beside me just in his boxers. And I eventually fell asleep and then he took me to school the next day. She remembers there was sexual activity that week, but not intercourse. And did you go back to his house? Every night until the week was over. Sarah Hahn never told an adult. Decades later, that experience still brings pain, guilt, and shame. She still hasn't told her parents, and it's been 26 years. I think he used them. I think he preyed upon their knowledge of what a teacher is

and how they can be to a young child. So it's something we just never talked about. Sarah Hahn is now 44. There's a distance between her and her parents. She has trouble going back to her childhood home, her parents' home, and goes back only rarely. Sarah never went to police or laid charges. And this is the first time that she's ever told her story to anyone other than her husband and a close friend. But I think my parents will be stunned.

It's going to hurt them when it all comes out I think. After months of investigating more and more victims are finding the courage to tell me their stories and a disturbing coherent picture is emerging. There is a complicated web of crimes, predators and survivors going all the way back to the 1960s. But as I start putting these pieces together, I realize all the dark secrets at Bell High School began to unravel because of the youngest victim, Lori Howitt. It's up to me if I want to press charges or not. And I said, yes. She was the first former student at Bell High to tell police about abuse at that high school. Police charged 56-year-old Timothy Stanitz

of the Ottawa-Carlton District School Board. This initially anonymous young woman who first reports Stanitz's abuse actually motivates Peter Hamer to come forward about his abuse abusive music teacher. Police have charged 72-year-old Robert Clark with sexual assault. Then within a week, yet another set of victims starts talking to police, and the crimes of the coach, Don Grenham, come into focus. Outside the courthouse, Grenham and his family wouldn't speak to reporters.

It all began with Laurie Howitt speaking out in 2016. And now I'm aware of 44 victims abused by these three teachers. Men who all worked at Bell High School. And now these men and women are meeting each other. And I always thought okay there's somebody out there that actually made this happen that's not me, right? And it's the victims of Tim Stannis. And here you are. And like, so this is, this is all you.

I didn't know what I wanted out of this. I didn't know if I wanted criminal charges or if anything to come of this. I just needed to tell somebody because continuing to lie and keep his secret was damaging me. Peter Hamer and Lori Howitt are from different generations. But immediately they seem comfortable together, like old friends who share similar scars. It's hard. I didn't think until I was driving here that this would be an emotional meeting. I thought, this is great. I had a good conversation, and I get to meet you and say thank you. Because what you did started such an amazing and, frankly, horrible journey.

an amazing and frankly horrible journey. It's that because I went to the principal, because of what I did, that put Stan at school. Oh. And then you end up being a victim of him. He was already a predator and whatever he ended up, he would... I get it all. It's just, it's tough.

Look at this. Their experiences were different, and they were touched by different teachers. But there's a kind of solidarity. different teachers, but there's a kind of solidarity. It feels good to know there is another person in the world who knows what I go through every day and has felt the things that I've felt, and it's horrible that there's another person and that there are many other people that know that,

but it is a comfort. You completely get where my headspace is. I get it. I understand everything that you're talking about. Peter finds some solace talking to Laurie, but he's about to be taken outside of his comfort zone. Bob Clark is finally heading to court, and Peter will be there. It's been almost two years since Peter first went to police. Clark's case is now going to be heard. I'm terrified of seeing him again.

I'm in constant panic that Bob Clark will die before tomorrow at 2. I'm in constant panic that Bob Clark will die before tomorrow at 2. Since Tim Stanitz died, I've been panicking that Bob Clark will take his own life. And I thought, let him not have the guts to take his own life. I don't want him to die. And I want him to be alive to be held accountable. And I'm still, I know I'm a day away, but I'm like, please let him make it to tomorrow afternoon. Coming up on the next episode. Two teachers are dead, and one faces justice.

I had this somewhat unprotected cavalier attitude going in, and I was really irked that he wasn't in a prisoner's box, where he should have been. So I got up when they called my name, and I was terrified. I couldn't remain composed,

and so the judge was, she said, you know, just take your time. I left the courtroom a changed man. The band Played On is reported and hosted by me, Julie Ireton. The podcast is written by me and Kristen Nelson. Kristen is also the series producer and sound editor. Chris Oak is our story editor. Jennifer Chevalier is our investigative producer. Cecil Rosner is director of CBC Regional Investigations. And the managing editor of CBC Ottawa is Ruth Zodu.

If you like this podcast, please subscribe for free wherever you get your podcasts, and please help us spread the word by rating, reviewing, or simply telling a friend. If you or someone you know has been sexually abused, community resources can help. Reach out to a trusted person, a sexual assault centre, or a rape crisis centre in your area. There are also resources available for people at risk of suicide, such as the Canadian Suicide Prevention Service or the US-based National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. Check online for information. For more CBC Podcasts, go to cbc.ca slash podcasts.