Unlocking Us with Brené Brown - Brené with Attica Locke and Tembi Locke on Life, Loss, and All Kinds of Love, Part 2 of 2

Episode Date: November 9, 2022

It’s Part 2 of my conversation with Attica and Tembi Locke, writers, showrunners, executive producers, and the creative sister duo behind the Netflix series From Scratch, based on Tembi’s 2019 mem...oir of the same name, about love, Sicily, and finding home. In Part 1, we talked about the series and their story, and as we jump back into our conversation, we are talking about the success of this show. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Starting point is 00:00:00 Hi, everyone. I'm Brene Brown, and this is Unlocking Us. I'm so excited because we're back with part two of our conversation with Attica and Timby Locke. Again, we're talking about From Scratch. Hopefully, you saw it between the time you listened to the first episode with these, like, incredibly creative, loving, badass women. And now, if you have seen it based on the recommendation, I'm sorry, and you're welcome. Just too good. We are jumping back into our conversation talking about the success of the show. I mean, it debuted with over 32 million hours viewed,
Starting point is 00:00:39 landed in the top 10 in 74 countries. And as I'm recording this right now, it's currently the number one show on Netflix. It's just, I mean, you cannot stop the truth from rolling out. It'll mess with you. It'll piss you off, but then it's rolling out. It's coming. I'm glad you're here. Let's jump in. Support for this show comes from Macy's. Fall is in full swing, and it's the perfect time to refresh your home and wardrobe for the sweater weather with new finds from Macy's. From October 9th to October 16th, get amazing deals on shoes and boots on sale at 30 to 40 percent off. And you can shop new styles during the Macy's Fab Fall Sale from October 9th to October 14th. Shop oversized knits, warm jackets, and trendy charm necklaces and get 25 to 60% off on top brands when you do.
Starting point is 00:01:30 Plus, get great deals on cozy home accessories from October 18th to October 27th. Shop in-store or online at macys.com. I just don't get it. Just wish someone could do the research on it. Can we figure this out? Hey, y'all. I'm John Blenhill, and I'm hosting a new podcast at Vox called Explain It To Me. Here's how it works. You call our hotline with questions you can't quite answer on your own.
Starting point is 00:02:02 We'll investigate and call you back to tell you what we found. We'll bring you the answers you need every Wednesday starting September 18th. So follow Explain It To Me, presented by Klaviyo. Okay, before we get started, let me tell you a little bit about the folks we're talking to. So we'll start with Tembi. So after going through a monumental rollercoaster life experience, Tembi put pen to paper and began the very cathartic experience of writing down her personal story. And you know how we feel about stories here. This turned into Simon & Schuster's New York Times bestselling memoir, From Scratch, a memoir of love, Sicily, and finding home,
Starting point is 00:02:42 which was then chosen as a 2019 Reese Book Club pick and picked up by Reese Witherspoon's Hello Sunshine production company and Netflix. So besides being a bestselling author, Timbi is a TV producer, an actor, a screenwriter, and an advocate who is a nationally recognized speaker. She talks about resilience, loss, motherhood. She's got a great TEDx talk. Her online platform, which I love, is called The Kitchen Window. She really talks about her advocacy work and love of food to create a space for conversation about caregiving, grief, parenthood, illness, as well as sharing recipes, all things inspired by love. Attica is also a New York Times bestselling author. I mean, this is
Starting point is 00:03:25 not some serious sister, like wonder twin powers activate. They're not twins, but they got like the sister activation going in creativity. So Attica is also a New York Times bestselling author who has written five novels and been honored with a myriad of accolades, including an Edgar Award, the Harper Lee Prize for Legal Fiction, the Ernest Gaines Award for Literary Excellence, and the NAACP Image Award. She is a former fellow at the Sundance Institute's Feature Filmmakers Lab, screenwriter, producer. You have seen her, if you've seen Empire, When They See Us, Little Fires Everywhere. You've seen her at work. Let's just jump into this conversation. And I cannot wait for you to meet Timbi and Attica. Just wow, we go there.
Starting point is 00:04:14 So we're back. We're with Timbi and Attica Locke. And we're talking about the laugh, cry, throw the television across the room. Amazing series on Netflix from scratch. If you didn't hear part one, go back because, yeah, we're just talking about all the truths in life that can suck, but are also beautiful. Okay, let me get your reaction here. The series debuted with over 32 million hours viewed, landed in the top 10 in 74 countries. Were you scared about how this was going to do and resonate and whether it was going to be successful? Attica, you first. What were you thinking? Two things. One, there is a part of me that always saw it being this successful, to be honest with you. Yeah, that's good.
Starting point is 00:05:09 But I would have moments right before it came out of, well, I could be wrong. It could just come out and sit there. I don't know. I just had this felt sense that it was just going to resonate with people. So that it's resonating to this degree or watching people's individual reactions is kind of mind blowing, but I just feel gratitude. I just feel tremendous gratitude. And there's a part of me that kind of isn't surprised. My brother-in-law was really kind of that great. My sister's kind of that great. Their story's that interesting. His parents grew that much in a lifetime and were that warm and engaged. Like, so all of it's just such a good story. And I know
Starting point is 00:05:51 from being in our writer's room, everybody had a piece of it that had never, but they had issues with their daddies. They had issues with their siblings. They had issues with people getting ill. I just felt in my heart that this was really going to land with people. And I'm just happy and proud and deeply grateful. It landed. Yeah. Attica had all of that sort of confidence around it. I mean, I was like, because it's so deeply personal for me. And I know when I wrote the book, I just wanted to write the book for me and for my daughter. And then I shared it and that was incredibly vulnerable and frightening and scary. And I wanted to, you know, I remember wanting to call my publisher and be like, take the money back,
Starting point is 00:06:38 put the book back on the shelf. Don't actually publish this thing because I can't, I, what have I done? And similarly, on the eve of the show coming out, I thought, oh gosh, what is about to happen? Because we've put our soul on the screen and there are parts, intimate, the most intimate parts of my life and some of the most intimate experiences I have had the privilege of living, we've reenacted and depicted on screen. And I know that the world is a big, wide and vast place with many corners of opinions and all the things, right? So I was like, you know, I think it will be for some people and some people will be touched by it and they'll see themselves in it.
Starting point is 00:07:29 And maybe it'll, you know, for other people, it's like, they'll just keep moving. I did not expect the overwhelming and also across multiple countries, the reception, because that to me was also was wanting to really centralize a Black woman's experience in spaces we don't normally get to see her. And also seeing Black families in places we don't normally get to see them on screen. And going back to what Attica said in our earlier conversation. She left Hollywood because Hollywood was like, we can't tell stories about Black people.
Starting point is 00:08:07 So I was also like, the fact that this story is resonating globally, whoa! I mean, the impact of that just on a sheer, like maybe that changed the narrative, this old, stale, outdated, untrue narrative that people aren't interested in other people's stories just because the people don't look like them. That is bananas. I've watched stories my whole life about people who don't look like me, and I've been incredibly invested.
Starting point is 00:08:36 Why can't it work in the reverse? That's the question. I saw myself in both sisters. I saw myself in both sisters. I saw myself in your dad. I saw myself unflinchingly in your mom. A couple of times. Oh yeah. Cause you know, like, yeah,
Starting point is 00:09:01 my parents are divorced and remarried. Steve's parents are divorced and remarried. We got a lot of shit going on. And so, but let me tell you something again, straddling the tension of opposites. Both things can be true. There's a brand of shows that are, I don't know if they're rom-coms, I don't know how you classify these things, where they will do the same storyline,
Starting point is 00:09:33 but it's a different cabin or a different, you know, fish out of water story. And now they do them like they'll pick up a Latinx family and do it in a black family or they'll do a white family traditionally. Y'all did not do that. You did get to see a black family or they'll do a white family traditionally. Y'all did not do that. You did get to see the black family gathering for this incredible moment
Starting point is 00:09:51 and this incredible wedding in Florence. But there was no hesitation to talk about real issues around blackness. It was not a fairytale moment. It was in the hospital room where we need to talk to a family member. Fuck you, I am a family member. In your husband's parents.
Starting point is 00:10:18 She's American. She's black American. She's not Catholic. Again, my favorite line, had to write it down. Two things. Your husband reinvented Thanksgiving. Lino's reinventing Thanksgiving. Oh, good.
Starting point is 00:10:34 Because if there's anything Texans love, it's different shit. Do not bring different shit on Thanksgiving to our people. Yes, yes, do not, do not. Never, never. Like, where are the like onions on top of the green bean Yes, yes, do not, do not. Never, never. Like, where are the like onions on top of the green bean casserole and the marshmallow, yeah.
Starting point is 00:10:50 But like, I haven't been stared at this hard since I once stopped to use the bathroom in a Stucky's in Alabama. You, I mean, I'm sad that everyone doesn't know the Stucky's experience. I'm not sad that they don't know the black woman's experience at Stucky's in Alabama. I'm sad for the people who do know that. I'm en sad that they don't know the black woman's experience at Stucky's in Alabama. I'm sad for the people who do know that.
Starting point is 00:11:05 I'm enraged, actually. But you never... It was getting to see something we don't see, but never letting the truth off the hook. Tell me, was there intentionality behind that? Did you have conversations about that yes it was intentional on two levels one it's just what what i believe timby lived it's what our experiences of being in the world where you're holding the grace of ascent as black people and getting into new spaces while also still dealing with the old shit,
Starting point is 00:11:46 another contradiction. And then it was also intent in terms of going through the process of inviting people for whom people in our, either in the crew or in producers, anybody who, for whom the experience was something they didn't know. And so there might be a reaction to it, like, well, I don't get that. So maybe it doesn't belong or do we someone where the people who are the gatekeepers or the people who help usher in this kind of product have to really be willing to trust the things that they don't understand, the cultural Easter eggs or cultural points that may not be for you, they're for another person in the audience, or they're just for verisimilitude. And luckily, whenever we said, no, no, this matters, we were heard and we were listened to. And that's at the Hello Sunshine level, and that's at the Netflix level. And so that's why we were able to have a kind of authenticity of experience, because we had partners who were willing to listen
Starting point is 00:13:05 and say yes. I just want to pause here. I want to like, again, they always joke about this is the pause cast. I'm like the worst fricking person to have an audio program because I don't feel the need to fill every second. But can I play back what I heard to make sure I heard it right?
Starting point is 00:13:29 And then can I just play it back? Yes. It's so freaking important that the gatekeepers in every industry, in my job, every job has some gatekeepers. They have the authority. They have the money. They have the yes or no, finally. For those folks to understand that in our work, I think this is especially true for people who have been traditionally pushed to the margins. To have moments, a nod, a conversation, a comment, something that I don't understand why, what does that all mean? But to leave it in there because it's a way to say to a group of people,
Starting point is 00:14:12 I see you and you see us. Yes. Is imperative. Yes. Absolutely. I don't trust a gatekeeper. Because actually what gatekeepers are saying, actually what I think is being said, is this true? I don't know. I'm going to just think and talk at the same time, which is freaking dangerous. But is it true when they say you can't have those, that they're really talking about a dominant default white male audience? I wouldn't even say it's that conscious. I just think that sometimes when you see something new that isn't a part of your culture, it may just be like, well, I don't get what's meaningful about that. But we would know,
Starting point is 00:15:07 and this could be at the level of just regionalism, like the Greenberg's Turkey in episode two, from Tyler, Texas. Like if it doesn't mean anything to you, it just doesn't mean anything to you. And I'm not saying that people went through and like, we're trying to take stuff out, but sometimes in the course of deciding where money is spent,
Starting point is 00:15:24 which scenes need to be excised, if you don't get a certain scene because you don't get its value, you might be like, oh, wait, we should cut this. And what I'm saying is that when Timbi and I would go, no, no, don't. We were lucky to have partners who went, okay, I hear you and I trust you. And I hear that that is resonant for your culture. It stays. Yeah, no, I would just say that, I mean, as viewers, as, you know, a young Black woman growing up, I watched things about Jewish people in New York, or I'd watch things about, you know, Mexican-Americans, and I didn't have to know everything, right? And it was fine. And I still got the story, and it was still enjoyable. And so, you know, there are things that we, I think sometimes gatekeepers feel as though they have been crowned with the, I lot to the table. Let's listen to it all. Let's observe it all. And what you don't know, maybe you'll hang around and ask some questions
Starting point is 00:16:36 and figure out. If you don't know, you better ask somebody. You better ask somebody. Like that's kind of, if you do that, that's called learning. That's interactive. That's growth. That's fun. And I've had that experience before. And luckily, even with Little Fires Everywhere and Hulu, we had an issue with like the second episode where I think one of the young characters gets told by a college counselor or the counselor at our high school. You're in an appropriate math class for you, even though the girl says, no, no, no, I've already done this class. And we got notes saying, well, what's going on here? Why is that counselor being so mean? And every woman of color in the room went, wait a second, we've all had this experience. And I was like, oh, this is episode two and we're getting this note. I think we're going to need to talk about being really open.
Starting point is 00:17:24 And so my boss, Liz Tickler said, Attica, because I was like, let me write something. So I wrote a letter to the Hulu execs. I said, look, guys, we are trying really hard to check our own bias in the room, our bias as mothers, our class bias, our race bias. I'm going to invite you to do that as well and let you know that this experience in this scene, in this episode, has happened to four women of color in this writer's room. And luckily, the great thing is Hulu went, okay, I hear you. Thank you. And we then will continue to give notes through this new lens.
Starting point is 00:17:56 So you have to learn how to stand up, push back, and pray that you have partners who go, okay, thank you for that check. And now I'm going to pivot and course correct. I vividly, I mean, you know that we did a podcast series on Little Fires Everywhere. And I vividly remember that scene. Yes. Very meaningful.
Starting point is 00:18:21 I vividly remember that scene. And you know, the other thing is, just because I love the poetry and symmetry of this, another way to think about this for me always is the more specific, the more generalizable. Yes, absolutely. You know, you may never have been to a Stucky's in Alabama. You know exactly what your mom's talking about in that line.
Starting point is 00:18:46 Yeah. You may not have the same turkey that we have, but you know that there is a very serious commitment to either your cheese take place in Philly or your, you know, it's like there is a, don't mess with that with my family, dude. This is not okay. And by the way, we had to do the same thing with Sicily because Sicily was a lot of like, what we really wanted to show is that the Texans, East Texans are not dissimilar than the Sicilians. They're both, they're very attached
Starting point is 00:19:16 to their ways of doing things, right? And when Amy gets to Sicily, she's in a small town who has gotten in small town gossip and all the things. Like Sicily is, you know, to make everything very, very authentic and very honest and very real was important to us. Oh, God. I mean, I know it was just it was so much truth. I could barely take it. Honest to God, it was so much. About a year ago, two twin brothers in Wisconsin discovered kind of by accident that mini golf might be the perfect spectator sport for the TikTok era. Meanwhile, a YouTuber in Brooklyn found himself less interested in tech YouTube and more interested in making coffee. This month on The Verge Cast, we're telling stories about these people who tried to find new ways to make content, new ways to build businesses around that content, and new ways to make content about those businesses. Our series is called How to Make It in the Future, and it's all this month on The Verge Cast, wherever you get podcasts.
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Starting point is 00:20:44 communicate, and plan for the future. In this three-part special series, Decoder is surveying the IT landscape presented by AWS. Check it out wherever you get your podcasts. Okay. Y'all ready for rapid fire? Because I know that this is not going to be rapid. Are y'all ready? Yes. I'm buckled by seatbelt. Let's go. Okay. I'm going to take turns. Who goes first? Because whoever goes second is going to be thinking about it.
Starting point is 00:21:11 I know how the creatives work. Oh, gosh. Yeah. I got to take y'all. Okay. Attica, fill in the blank for me. Okay. Vulnerability is?
Starting point is 00:21:22 A superpower. Timbi, vulnerability is? Love. Second question, Tembi first. You are called to be very brave, but your fear is real. You can feel it and taste it in your throat. What's the very first thing you do? Take a breath.
Starting point is 00:21:45 Attica. I feel like I'm a family feud where we're not supposed to give the same answer, but that was my immediate thought. That's great. Yeah, breathe. Yeah, mine too. Actually, because I'm a breath holder, so it's helpful for me to remember.
Starting point is 00:21:56 Breathe. Okay. Attica. Last television show that you binged and loved? I'm currently still binging it. It's The Patient on Hulu. I'm really fascinated by the questions that are being raised in the performances.
Starting point is 00:22:17 Oh my God, I'm gonna have to put that on my notes. Okay, Timbi. The last show that I binged and loved, I have to say the first thing that comes to mind is just Never Have I Ever. And I will say that not because I'm in it, but because I watched it with my daughter and it's the one thing we can sit and watch together
Starting point is 00:22:39 and we meet in the shared space. It's one of the spaces where we can talk about the same things when the show's over. Yes. And I love that. Those are rare and important. Okay, this is an impossible question. Don't tell me it's impossible.
Starting point is 00:22:51 I just want to know an answer. Ready? We'll go Timmy first. Favorite movie, one you'll never stop watching if you've come across it on the TV. Terms of Endearment. Oh, Lord. I would have known that.
Starting point is 00:23:04 I would have known what I was in for with this show. Okay. I mean, I would have known. Attica. A Soldier's Story. Jesus, something's wrong with y'all. Jeez. Y'all just go right there.
Starting point is 00:23:19 I've seen that movie 150,000 bazillion times and will watch it again. Yeah. I've seen that movie 150,000 bazillion times and we'll watch it again. Neither one of those movies are easier upon multiple watchings. But I'm not trying to make it get easier. I'm interested, like for me, I get something new in the dialogue, in the performances, or I'm meeting it at a different place in my life. When I first watched it as a child, I was like, oh my gosh, here's my city on a screen. Like I was like, oh, by the way, somebody gets cancer and dies. Right? Like that was what I saw when I watched Terms of Endearment. And I remember the car scene with Shirley MacLaine
Starting point is 00:23:54 and Jack Nicholson, right? The Corvette scene or Porsche, I can't remember what it is. But let me tell you, watching it in mys, different experience, certainly after Sada was diagnosed, now as a mom. Like, so I'm meeting it in a different, and that's the mark of great art to me, is that it still can hold up and I can get new things out of it. So that's why I would go back to it over and over again. Attica, would you say the same thing? Yes, yes, absolutely. Me, where it is. Yeah, and just contemplating the philosophy of it over and over and over again.
Starting point is 00:24:30 I just think the storytelling is so well-constructed. I don't know why I'm saying y'all are not right because mine's the color purple and it's... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So none of us are right. That movie rocked my world when the color purple came out. I mean, talk about, yeah. I none of us are right. That movie rocked my world when the color purple came out. I mean, talk about, yeah. I had to leave the theater.
Starting point is 00:24:49 I just couldn't make it through it for the first time. Yeah, and then I had a different experience with it as a mother. I just, yeah, just, yeah. And then even after George Floyd's murder, I came across it and I watched it and I had a complete, I mean, it was just, yeah, every time. I love that. I'll send you a quarter and I'll quote you and I say it, I had a complete I mean it was just yeah every time I love that I'll send you a quarter and I'll quote you and I say it but it is the mark of good art it has it has grown with me and challenged me in new ways okay Attica a concert you'll never forget
Starting point is 00:25:17 Rolling Stones 1989 Steel Wheels because my dad was so confused. My dad took me. He was so sweet to take us. It was me, my friend Lisa, and my stepmother's brother Gerald. And my dad was like, what is happening? And he just bought, I think he bought like five t-shirts because it was quieter to go to the merch table. So he just kept going to the merch table to buy t-shirts so you wouldn't have to listen to the concert. But it was very sweet of him to take us. Wait, was it at the summit or what used to be called the summit? Yes. In Houston? Yeah. I was at the concert. It might have been at the Astrodome. It might have been at the Astrodome, but it was, it was 1989. Okay. I have to think about that. That's so funny.
Starting point is 00:26:06 Do you still have any of the five t-shirts? No. Okay. Timmy concert you'll never forget. It was the first big one, and it was the Jackson Victory tour. I mean, you just can't, like, you can't forget. It is the spectacle, the pure spectacle. It's just, it's it's imprinted um so yeah I won't forget that one oh my god I wish I would have seen that okay this will be a tough one for this group we'll start with Timby favorite meal oh my god
Starting point is 00:26:37 Brene Brown I know favorite meal what the what the yeah I didn't add this to this one. It's just, we asked everybody, but you just happened. All right. I'm going to go classic. Okay. And I'm going to simply say a classic pasta al pomodoro, which is a classic spaghetti with a tomato sauce with basil. And it's just super, super simple, but it will satisfy every time. Every time. The food scenes in this show. Yeah. I don't know what my obsession is with this.
Starting point is 00:27:14 So tell me what my obsession is with this. First of all, I know I've kept you too long, but the food battles. I'm gritting my teeth. Let me tell you the food battles at the, at your in-laws table in Sicily, God bless America that it was like, Oh no, it's on. Oh shit is going to get red. This just as bad. Somebody's going to get poisoned and die. There were some food battles here. Well, we talk about food. We use the food. Food is a character in our series. Yes. And it is used to woo. It is used to soothe. It is used to control. To wound. To wound. It is all
Starting point is 00:28:02 the things. So it is a character and it it is it is wielded at the hands of whatever human needs whatever that human needs from the other human and we let that play out for some reason i'm obsessed with the way your mother-in-law i know it's the actor playing your mother-in-law and that parmesan cheese thing. Yeah. It's beautiful. Okay. Favorite meal? Attica, I'm curious. I can't get it anymore.
Starting point is 00:28:32 There was a restaurant in LA called Pane Vino and they had a gemelli pasta with a beautiful sausage and sweet red onions and it was fucking fantastic. And I can't get it back. And I can't get it back. It was so good. It was so good.
Starting point is 00:28:52 Am I allowed to say here, like, Timbi, can't you whip that shit up? I could whip it up for you, Attica. In fact, Attica, now that I know that you missed that, I don't know that it'll be as good, but I will give you my best effort. Thank you. So I just feel like it's probably inappropriate, but I should probably be invited over for that. No, you should. We're going to be in Houston. We're going to be in Houston, so we should.
Starting point is 00:29:17 Oh my God, call me. I'll drive. I live right off 59. Boom, I could be there. All right. Attica first, a snapshot of an ordinary moment in your life that gives you real joy. My bedroom, I have a hillside house. So when you're in my bedroom, in my bed, and you're looking out the window, you're actually on the second floor of the house. So it looks like you're in a tree house.
Starting point is 00:29:41 I have like a hundred something year old ash tree in the backyard. And so when I'm in my bed, I feel like I'm in a tree house and I'm looking at leaves. I'm suspended in the air, in the tree, and it's my happy place. I love it. I love it so much. All right, Tembi, an ordinary moment that gives you real joy. Ordinary moment for me is the first thing that came to my mind was when my daughter first got on her tricycle and was going down the driveway. And I just remember she turned to look back at me as like, I'm doing it. And her face was lit up.
Starting point is 00:30:19 And I thought, oh, my God. It was just the most beautiful, beautiful, beautiful moment. And it gives me joy that like baby, young face smiling back at you. It's just, oh goodness. I want to just eat her up. Yeah. Yeah. I was going to say, it's almost like edible. Like, yeah. Yes. Okay. Y'all gave us a mini mixtapes. These were five songs you couldn't live without. Okay, oh good, because of that reaction, you're going first. Timmy goes first.
Starting point is 00:30:51 I might need some help with yours. There's some Italiano here. Sodade? Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And that is actually Portuguese, but yes, by Cesaria Ivora. Okay, Bridge Over Troubled Water, Aretha Franklin. I Wanna Be Your Lover by Prince.
Starting point is 00:31:08 Yes. Caruso by Lucio? Lucio Dalla. Lucio Dalla. If Love is Overrated by Gregory Porter. Now, I'm going to tell both of you this because you're creatives and you're writers. No bullshit, semicolons or em dashes. Now, I'm going to tell both of you this because you're creatives and you're writers.
Starting point is 00:31:27 No bullshit, semicolons or em dashes. One sentence. What does this say about you, Timbi Locke? What does this playlist say about you? That I go deep in the feels and that I'm a romantic. I love it. I go deep in the feels. There's nothing light about any of those songs. In fact, when I wrote them all down, I was like,
Starting point is 00:31:47 God dang it, why can't I just give up? But I was like, you know what? They asked, I'm bringing my authentic self to Brene. And it is, it's all the memory and the feelings. Deep in the feels. Okay, Attica. There's another podcast about this. Bridge Over Troubled Water by Aretha Franklin
Starting point is 00:32:09 is also on your list. Yes, your sister. You've got a sister mashup here. Yeah. Okay. Don't Ever Let Nobody Drag Your Spirit Down by Eric Bibb. Your Precious Love by Otis Redding, If You Really Want to Be My Friend by the Rolling Stones,
Starting point is 00:32:31 All Around You by, is it Sturgill Simpson? Yes. Okay. One sentence. What does this playlist say about you, Attica? That I look to music, particularly blues and its fraternal
Starting point is 00:32:52 twin country, the good kind of existential country. I look to those forms of music to feel safe. Insane. safe and seen. I have to ask a follow-on. Is the safety in being seen,
Starting point is 00:33:17 I'm a big, I'm a blues person, and I'm a existential old country, like the kind where you have to pull the car over because like George Jones, he stopped loving her today, you know? Is it because that's music that said grief is the price we pay for love, that the hard stuff is okay too? Like, is it because it normalizes the stripy-ness? Yes. And it's music that our ancestors, it's tonal, aural sounds that our ancestors use to keep going. And a lot of those songs are about trying to figure out how to keep going
Starting point is 00:34:06 in the face of. And so they make me feel like, well, maybe I can do this. Maybe I can keep going. These are songs that I reach for when I'm scared and upset and they make me feel strong. Either because they're saying the song All Around You, it's about love is all around you. You know, don't ever let anybody drag your spirit down. I play that a lot when I feel like somebody's trying to kick my ass. So let me remember, my favorite line from that song is, remember you're walking up to heaven.
Starting point is 00:34:40 Don't let anybody drag your spirit down. For me, that means, and I think that speaks to me and Tembi through this entire process, which is we were always answering to something higher. So yes, there's what's happening on terra firma, I can't say it as pretty as Tembi. There's what's happening on the ground, but we are also interested
Starting point is 00:34:58 in what's happening vibrationally at a higher level. And that particular song reminds me to stay connected to that. God, that's beautiful. Timbi, any thoughts on how Bridge Over Troubled Water by Aretha Franklin ended up on both your lists? Yeah, I think what immediately came to me was how we started this conversation, my grandmother. I remember that song for me, hearing it as a child, the house would stop. And what it meant for me was for a second, it was like, oh, the world fell away when this song comes on. What does that mean? And then also it evoked and grounded grounded we've been talking about grounding and terra firma it
Starting point is 00:35:45 grounded the adults around me that song anchored them and i could feel it as a kid i could feel it and it also i would look at them differently and i remember thinking oh they have lives like they have lives like that don't involve them being my parent. Like they, they, they done seen something that maybe one day I might know about. I don't know. But suddenly everybody, everything just kind of stopped. And I don't mean that they stopped physically what they were doing, but energetically there would be a tectonic shift when that song came on and it would take, sweep people away. And that was powerful and I thought how did that woman do that what does that song mean and I think I've asked myself over years of listening to it and
Starting point is 00:36:35 again it great art you meet you where you are it means something different to me at different at different times and Aretha's version of it is operatic. Like it hits every tone, every feeling. She takes you there. So, yeah, I think that's why it's on your list, Attica, also, maybe. Yeah. Well, I'll end with Tembi and Attica Locke,
Starting point is 00:37:02 who have brought this incredible truth-telling, storytelling, beauty, art, rage, grief, love story to us. I'll end with this line from that song, because I love that song. My wish for y'all is sail on silver girls because you are making some art that the world needs right now and you are healing us with it and i am deeply grateful wow thank you thank you i know thank you thank you wow that thank you so much thank you thank you count me in thank you for this conversation.
Starting point is 00:37:46 President of the fan club. Thank you. Houston chapter. Houston. Houston women. Houston women. Let me tell you. Houston women. Beyonce.
Starting point is 00:37:56 Lizzo. Come on. I mean, like, Debbie Allen. Felicia Rashad. I mean, it just goes on and on. Just, yeah. Houston women. So, thank you. Thank you so mean, it just goes on and on. Just, yeah, Houston women. So thank you.
Starting point is 00:38:06 Thank you all for the time. And congratulations on the ginormous, well-earned BALM, B-A-L-M, that we need. Thank you. Thank you. What a pleasure. Bye. Bye.
Starting point is 00:38:24 All right. Just again, y'all need to see From Scratch on Netflix. It's so good. So well acted. So well written. Every emotion. I think it hits all 87 of the Alice of the Heart emotions. It's just, it's so good, y'all.
Starting point is 00:38:41 You can go to brennabrown.com. You can look up the episode page there. You can get links to their websitesnabrown.com. You can look up the episode page there. You can get links to their websites, their work, their books, a link to Netflix, which you probably don't need, but there it is.
Starting point is 00:38:54 This is just good stuff. Talking about awkward, brave, and kind. Attica and Timby, nail that description. All right. Thanks for being here, y'all. We are part of the Vox Media Podcast Network. Discover more award-winning shows at podcast.voxmedia.com. Hello, I'm Esther Perel, psychotherapist and host of the podcast, Where Should We Begin?, which delves into the multiple layers of relationships, mostly romantic.
Starting point is 00:39:42 But in this special series, I focus on our relationships with our colleagues, business partners, and managers. Listen in as I talk to co-workers facing their own challenges with one another and get the real work done. Tune into Housework, a special series from Where Should We Begin, sponsored by Klaviyo. So you've arrived. You head to the Brasserie, then the Terrace. Cocktail? Don't mind if I do.
Starting point is 00:40:16 You raise your glass to another guest because you both know the holiday's just beginning. And you're only in Terminal 3. Welcome to Virgin Atlantic's unique upper-class clubhouse experience, where you'll feel like you've arrived before you've taken off. Virgin Atlantic. See the world differently.

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