Unlonely with Dr. Jody Carrington - Be boring financially. Be exciting everywhere else - Patti Lovett-Reid

Episode Date: April 24, 2025

I had the absolute JOY of sitting down with the legendary Pattie Lovett-Reid—financial guru, media powerhouse, and all-around badass (PLR, if you will ). We covered it ALL—breaking barriers in finance, navigating blended families, and why women must take ownership of their financial future.Want to build wealth? Start with knowing your numbers.Thinking about retirement? The best time to plan was yesterday. The second-best time is now.Struggling to balance career, family, and finances? PLR’s got some wisdom you NEED to hear.This episode is packed with practical insights, real talk, and a whole lot of inspiration.Follow Pattie:@pattie_lovettreid Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At the beginning of every episode, there will always be time for an acknowledgement. You know, the more we do this, people ask, why do you have to do the acknowledgement in every episode? I got to tell you, I've never been more grateful for being able to raise my babies on the land where so much sacrifice was made. And I think what's really critical in this process is that the ask is just that we don't forget. So the importance of saying these words at the beginning of every episode will always be of utmost importance to me and this team. So everything that we created here today for you happened on Treaty 7 land, which is now known as the center part of the province of Alberta. It is home of the Blackfoot Confederacy, which is made up of the Siksika, the Kainai, the Pikani, the Tatina First Nation, the Stony Nakoda First Nation, and the Métis Nation Region 3. Our job, our job as humans, is

to simply acknowledge each other. That's how we do better, be better and stay connected to the good. Well, hi, how are, listen, welcome back, welcome in. Dr. Jodie Carrington here, your host of the Unlonely Podcast. And today I'm gonna introduce you to a Canadian powerhouse. I have like for a long time, I've been in awe of this woman as I considered the possibility of being a powerful voice in this country. She was one of the first who emulated taking center stage and owning it like a fucking

boss. Her name is Patti Lovett-Reed and listen, she's a well-respected Canadian financial expert, media personality, she's an author, and over her extensive career, she's become a household name in Canada for providing practical financial advice that simplifies the most complex concepts. She's best known for her role as the chief financial commentator for CTV news where she regularly appeared on various programs like CTV national news and your morning as well as she I mean listen she's been on BNN Bloomberg her financial expertise primarily focuses on personal finance

retirement strategies and making smart investments all of which I will admittedly say I am not very wise in. And this is how we started. I, Patty was hosting an event that I was speaking at and we had to meet sort of back virtual stage. Um, and I was like, listen, someday Patty, we're going to have to sit down and talk about this. Cause I all lie. I don't know how to save money. I don't, I don't understand. I don't, I'm not a fan of that. And she's like, listen, we need to talk, but here's what you need to know. Like before her media career, she spent over 30 years at TD waterhouse, eventually becoming senior vice president, bad ass. I told you. She also holds

certificates as a certified financial planner and has coauthored several national bestselling books related to personal finance. Notably in 2007, uh, she was honored with Canada's most powerful women. She, um, listen, I, I also, there's another episode that I did with her husband, um, who is also a goddamn gem. And I, I just want you to listen to, I felt like I was having a conversation with a very wise soul in this episode. And I want you to, I hope you sink into it as much as I did. This conversation of women and leadership and money and how they all fit together has been so big on my heart these days. And I really, really love this episode. Sit back, Here we go everybody.

Welcome back, welcome in. And today, you know, sometimes I like to find, I feel lucky enough that I get to cross paths with people who are just brilliant. And I, when I first, I knew about this woman because I've seen her on the news, I've heard her brilliance, I've like followed along. And in this time of like, for me heading into my fifties, I'm like, what, what, who do I want to be like? Like who's a mentor in this space of success and family connection and you know, being a bad ass. And today I brought her to you. being a badass. And today I brought her to you. Okay, Patti Levitt Reid PLR. That's what I'm gonna call her now. She knows all the shit I don't know about money and finances. She's a financial

expert, a media personality. She's written tons of things. She's like a household name in Canada. And when it comes to this idea of finances, and particularly you focus so much for women and you know setting into retirement all of those things and I'm just so excited to get your perspective on one of the first female Canadians I think women probably globally that is broken through so many glass ceilings so ladies gentlemen humans of all kinds Wow PLR I'm so glad you're here I think the best part of that introduction is badass. I've never been called badass and I'm kind of going to wear it like a badge of honor. You have badass all over you. Like nobody fucking messes with you. Don't kid yourself.

You know this. I love that. I love it. Listen, thank you so much for having me. I'm not sure in all seriousness I deserve those accolades, but I I do enjoy what I do and I've been very fortunate And so if you ask me like how I took this over like I'm interviewing you if you ask me what? What gives me great happiness and joy it is. It's helping people understand where they're at and maybe get to a better place. That's driven your career because I think if I take you back, I mean, as you know, you started, you were a VP of a company very early in your career that you navigated for beautifully. Can you like TD Waterhouse? Like we're not talking about some small potatoes. But I will tell you if we could go just for a minute

further back. Take me to the beginning. I did not go to university. I do not have a university degree. And I started in the bank as a teller. And I walked in. Right out of high school. But when I walked in, they were robbed.

And there were two of us up for the teller job. They told us to go home. I only had one outfit. I said, I'll wait till later. They said, no, you're coming back Monday. This was on a Friday. And I got the job, but I got the job primarily because I was the only one who came back.

Not that I was necessarily the best candidate and I did find another outfit. But I do remember starting as a teller and thinking, okay, I don't know where this is going to lead, but I'm going to be the best I can be at a teller level. And then sort of looked at where I wanted to go next. Take me back even further because you were Canadian, right? Or born and raised in Canada. In a system, what did the system look like? Well, the system, I can tell you

the system. That's interesting. My father died at the age of 36. He died of a heart attack. And I was nine years old. My mother remarried and I was age 12. And I all of a sudden had a stepfather who sat me on a rock. So we were eye to eye to eye and he said I'd like to marry your mother. I'm going to be honest I was a snotty little teenager pre-teen. I said well you know I'm never going to call you dad. I am not going to change my last name and I don't know. I don't know how I feel about this and he said and looked me straight in the eye and said, will you let me love you and support you financially? Now I got to tell you, I may have been a snotty little teenager,

but I was smart enough to know that sounded like a pretty good deal. Anybody in our family will tell you that my father, his name was Les, became Papa when I had our first child. I called him Papa at that point. I never did change my last name, but it didn't matter to him. It just didn't matter. And so we used to make fun and say, well, Patty, why don't you talk about your wicked

stepfather and how life was really horrible? Well, I can't do that. It would make for a better story. But you know what? I had a great cheerleader. But what I will tell you is that with my stepfather came a stepbrother and a stepsister. There are four of us. And financially back then, it was decided that they could only afford two out of the four to go on to post-secondary. My brother and I, my natural biological brother, we were gregarious, but we were maybe not as book smart and I also am dyslexic. My grades were probably not what my brothers wear.

My brother has three masters. He did a thesis on black holes in space and I understood the tribute to mom and dad. And my sister who is the nicest person on the face of the earth, she's nine months younger than I am, she went on to college and my brother and I just figured out where we'd go and carried on in life. My brother is very successful today. I have done okay, but so have my brother and sister. So we all turned out. Amazing. And I think, you know, I had this beautiful opportunity.

You'll see on another podcast episode, I got to speak to Patty's husband, Jim, who through introduction from Patty, we reflected a lot in our conversation around sort of the stability of where you come from and who you can fall into in order to be able to produce great things, to serve people well, right? You're only as okay as the people who hold you. And I really love, you know, his conversation. I asked him about you. And he just said she was

remarkable. The second I saw her, I knew I wanted to spend my life with her. And I was like, come on. He also kissed me first. He'll say I kissed him first, but he kissed me first. That's so lovely. I didn't know that. Yeah. And it was just, it was interesting to me because I can see, you know, even in the conversation around success and leadership and business, you know, he talked a little bit about the combination of a blended family. Both of you had previous marriages and come together in this place of, you know, blending kids. And I love that you came from that story, you know, speaking to a

stepfather who, you know, really we have all kinds of agendas as we're stepping into new relationships. And I can't, I have such an admiration for people who step into that blended world of families and navigate co-parenting, navigate building businesses. Yeah, it isn't easy though. Well, that's what I mean. Like, holy shit, very few people are successful at it. No, I can tell you.

Tell me. I don't think I've ever said this. Was Jim coming back on? No, you know, our first anniversary came up and we both looked at each other and said, I'm not sure we have a lot to celebrate. Like are we where we need to be and where we should be? And we did something with our children because we knew if the children didn't come together as a family and we didn't come together as a family, we wouldn't make it. And it was tough. It was tough the first year.

So we implemented something called the Family Conference. He said the same thing. Did he say that? He told me, yeah, but go, go. Okay, well, I'm not going to go into it. You can hear all about it on another episode. Did he also tell you most of the time who got called on the rug? Me.

Yeah, me. You were the rug. Yeah, clearly. I was always the problem. And you know, quite frankly, I was. You know, I would work too much. I would be on my phone. I would be focused on a presentation or doing something and building it. And they'd go, you're just not present, Mom. And it was like, what? And but they were right. And the fact is that any and if they ever felt there were inequalities, they talked about it. And we had this catalytic moment in our life when Jim and I were coming together and the children are all very similar in age. They're like a pack that move forward together. But we were coming back from the Santa Claus parade. My children were in gap outfits, you know, the bright pink and red and a pom-pom hat and matching boots and gloves. And Dave was in matching bright green and blue. And Carolyn and

Kevin were in brown and gray. And I'm not sure where they got it. And we saw them all holding hands, walking across a parking lot. And it was in that moment that we realized there were perceived inequalities coming together. And we had to find a way that all the children felt equal under our umbrella. And they referred to us at an early age as the parents. You're the parents. But I'm very proud to this day,

I can tell you that when my stepson introduced me, and he has a mom and she's a great mom, but he'll say, this is my mom, Patty. This is my sister, Jane and David and Carolyn. And so it took time, it took effort, but after the first year, we did celebrate year two. Ah, that's awesome. And I think what I'm learning so much in this space too

is a little bit about like, it doesn't negate the families that you had prior to this, right? Those are chapters. And so I think that's sort of the big cautionary tale in so much of this process is as we navigate this as women, as men, as we each chapter delineates another part of our story. And it's, we wouldn't be where we were if the ones hadn't come before it. And so attempting to not honor them really, you know, discredits

the current chapter, right? No, and you know, we're lucky on both sides that no one discredited the other parents did not discredit us, at least not to my knowledge. Although I will say my ex-husband likes Jim better than he likes me. There's no question about it. He would prefer to deal with the children who were growing up and we need financial equality along the way. He'd say, Patty, it's okay.

I don't need to deal with you. I'll talk to Jim. I said, okay, fine. You just guys do it. Right? I mean, what a gift. What a gift. Yeah. What a gift. Yeah. Okay. So take me back then to you are in this, tell me about this rising in T.D. Waterhouse as where did you start to learn the importance of, you know, I don't know, where's this level

of finances of power that comes from understanding and controlling, you know, having a deep understanding of, you know, earning potential and what you do with this. I mean, your insights around this are so brilliant. So tell me what we need to know, particularly as women, what are we missing these days? Well, I will tell you that I firmly believed early on that no one's going to care about you and your financial life than you. It doesn't mean you need separate bank accounts, but what it does mean is that you have to take an active role. And statistically, women still outlive their male counterparts, and I've seen all too often where, you know,

something happens, gray divorce or a death of a spouse. And people don't know where they stand financially. I would say I had a moment and it's a crystal clear moment for me when at, you know, in my early 30s, I'm a single mom. Somehow I negotiated a wood panel station wagon. Like that was not my idea of a dream car at the time, but that's what I got. Which, by the way, right after the divorce, it did break down. So I don't know. But in any event, Jane had our daughter a pair of black, no, red patent shoes on, ridiculously expensive for a three or four year old like who does

that but anyway she had them on I looked down and I thought I'm never going to be able to afford to buy her those shoes again and in the heartbeat Jodie I thought wait a minute yes I am of course I can afford to buy those again I just have to figure out how and I remember Negotiating my first mortgage for a house by myself. I forgot to include the down payment So all of a sudden I had at that time an extra five thousand. I thought I hit the jackpot There were so many things I didn't know and the more people I asked the fewer answers I got the more I started to research and I realized I wasn't the only person.

And so that sort of was my quest to sort of, okay, I can't be the only one going through this. How can I help? Right, right. Because historically, I mean, and you certainly would have lived through this very clear identification of gender roles, right? You know, at the end of, you know, I think about this too very clearly, you know, as looking back on my parents, and now being the primary breadwinner, you know, now sort of switching those roles. What do you see is so difficult for women, you know, to sort of take responsibility over their financial literacy

that may not be in our bones? You know what? I will tell you that I've been in this business for decades, literally. And there was a time when women did shy away. And it was through lack of knowledge and understanding and, quite frankly, a desire.

That has long gone. As women have climbed the corporate ladder, as women have taken on entrepreneurship, we're seeing education rules expanding. Those days are long gone. Now, when people tell me today they're not involved, it's more a function of time than capability. And I can use my mom, Judy, as an example. She's almost 92.

And mom manages her own money. Cognitively she is sharp as a tack. I dare you to take her on. Like please try. Oh I love it. You know and she my brother and I though are power of attorney. True story on her numbers. She knows them and I remember when my stepfather passed away I said mom, Mom, I'll step in, I will manage your money for you. And she looked at me, she's very feisty. And she said, who asked you to? And I said, are you not going to ask me to?

And she said, no, if I need help, I will ask. But I'm fine right now. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. Yes, ma'am. You got that right. So at the same time, not to prove her point, but when my father passed away, stepfather, I looked after the flowers for mom. I ordered them for the funeral. I paid for them, put them up. I ordered the tombstone that she had picked out. I put

the order through. I paid for it and just let it go. A month later my father died in February it's now March and she goes interesting I have not had a bill from the florist or the funeral home for your father's tombstone and I looked at her and I said oh don't worry mom I looked I looked after it and she said I didn't ask you to I'm going to pay for it. My mother's birthday is March 19th. My father died February 20th. I gave my mother my father's tombstone

for her birthday present. It's the only way she would accept it. And to this, I mean, come on. What kind of daughter does this make me sound like? I mean, I don't tell that story often, believe me. I know what it pains me, but she wouldn't accept it. She wouldn't accept it any other way. Apple and tree, apple and tree.

Well, yeah, yeah. One time I was doing a radio show and she had wanted help with her finances and I hadn't gotten back to her fast enough, she called in as a caller and said, this is your mother. I'm not joking. You don't make this up. And said I have questions and you won't answer me but you're answering everybody else. So here are my questions. I went is this mom? Mom? She's so hysterical. But I do think I learned a lot from her. Clearly. Clearly, right?

Jim and I have an interdependence financially. We have one bank account. We have one investment strategy. We have spending limits that have increased through time. Like out of respect, if I wanted to buy something or something that's extraordinary, we'll talk about it. And I don't think he's ever said no. I don't think I've ever said no. But it's just mutually respectful. We don't believe in secret accounts or hidden purchases or lack of full true and plain disclosure. And that works for us. It doesn't matter whether you have one bank account or separate how you manage the money, as long as it's done respectfully.

Okay. Okay. And I watch you sort of talk about, you know, things like the rising debt levels in Canada, the current economic landscape. I'm so interested, you know, as a woman in business, trying to navigate, you know, the best investment strategy, the best, you know, so how, give me some sense of our current climate. And what are the things that you sort of are coaching people, humans, businesses on these days the most?

Well, there's no question there are a lot of issues and uncertainty out there, whether we talk about the debt levels, the interest rate, where they go from here. We have a lot of households who have mortgages coming up for renewal. Rates are higher than when they took them out. They're already stretched. You can see inflation numbers coming down, but that you know that's a headline number. What's your basket of goods? Are you seeing your dollars going further or less? And then of course we've got the wildcard tariffs and what's going on in the US. And we don't know where that's gonna go.

Our Canadian dollar is at levels we haven't seen in about five years. And so there are a lot of things happening. But my philosophy is I can't control that. I can't control tariffs. I can't control what the Bank of Canada is going to do. I can control what I may decide to do with our home, whether, excuse me, we sell or we're buying. I can control what I buy at the grocery store, but at the end of the day the cost is the cost. I can only control how I respond and And I do think each household is gonna respond

very differently. We don't need everybody to shut it down, like we don't. In fact, many small business owners in Canada need us to continue to spend, to continue to support them. You don't have to single-handedly prop up the economy, but nor can you. And so that's why I say to households, look at, if you think about the acronym money, look at your money.

Be razor sharp on how much money you have coming in, what it is you're spending your money on and your numbers. Just you need to know your numbers. Sometimes people don't have a clue. There is a lot of mindless spending. I don't have a clue. Yeah. And it's through no fault. But I think now, as Maya Angelou would say, when we know better, we do better. And when you know where your financial situation is, you make informed

decisions as opposed to emotional decisions. And I think we all should be looking at our options. I speak to a lot of Canadians who are house rich and cash poor. They want to stay in their homes. So you know maybe you do extract some money out. Maybe you need to understand how you can do that. Or if you're in a really difficult situation, I work with Goldhar and Associates, they're licensed insolvency trustees. A licensed insolvency trustee is the only person who could negotiate with your creditors a lower amount, get the interest rate clocked to stop and figure out how to repay and get

a fresh start. And so it's looking at all your options and for money is knowing needs and wants and being you know a deep dive and making some decisions for now not ever. I see people on the E earning extra money they've got side hustles they're selling things some have asked for a raise people are still getting raises in this environment. But Jodi, the big why for me at the end of money, when you spell it, we can't lose this year of our life because of everything that's going on. So yes to new opportunities, yes to challenges, yes to new experiences. We have to keep moving forward as individuals and as a country.

Yeah, I love that. And I, so, you know, you and I just spoke briefly the other day when we were doing an event together and I was saying to you, you know, I love this idea of being much more aware. Now I am, you know, our relationship dispender, I'm just sort of like, let's, like, who knows what's gonna happen?

Like, let's go, we need, I don't know anything. My husband's on the other side of things where like he's got a spreadsheet for everything, it fucking drives me nuts, like, I don't know, don't tell me, and da, da, go, we need, I don't know anything. My husband's on the other side of things where like he's got a spreadsheet for everything, it fucking drives me nuts, like I don't know, don't tell me, and I love your point, right? It's like, okay, so recently then there's this conversation every time I push back on something, I don't have the data to be able to be like,

yeah, but that's not what's happening now, or, you know, I don't know about this investment or that investment. And I think that it is really that sense of taking ownership over that. I never, I don't know about this investment or that investment. And I think that it is really that sense of taking ownership over that. I never, I don't remember ever having to do that. Yeah, it's about improving your financial literacy, but not overnight.

Like what have you said to yourself? You know how I think about financial literacy is like a giant bicycle wheel and you're the nucleus in the middle. And each spoke represents an element of your financial life. So maybe on a monthly basis, you address one spoke. So you start with, okay, how much money do we have? Like how much money is in the bank?

And how much money are we spending on a monthly basis? If we're saving, that's one spoke. If we're saving, what are we saving for? But then another question might be, okay if something were to happen to you and you're the main breadwinner, how would your family be? Are they adequately protected and covered? And if so, let's talk about what that looks like. And these aren't easy conversations, but Jody, what happens is as you address each spoke of your financial life, you start to build momentum like a bicycle

wheel and you start to move forward. And I guarantee you the people that I've sat down with and we've gone through this exercise, a year from now they are further ahead. They are moving forward and they're in a very different financial place. And you know, there are many Canadians that are living so close to the margin. They go, I can't even think about doing that. But until you do that deep dive, you might be surprised. You just know, you might be better off than you think. Yeah, I mean, and you've written about this too extensively, right?

And I'm interested in that because I often, you know, when you start to talk to people about retirement, do you find that people are prepared for retirement? Do they, you know, they think about that now in my late forties, you know, for the first time in our marital relationship, we're starting to talk about that, right? Like how close are we? What do we need? How much do you need? You know, how do you sort of coach people around that place, you know, particularly when, A, I love this idea. Be very clear

on what you got and what you don't have. But the second thing is really about... I think it's more than that. I often have said it's the five Rs. The first is you reassess how do you even feel about retirement. I'm not a big fan. I love what I do. So I'm going to keep doing something in some way, shape or form for as long as I can for, you know, I'll just keep doing it. So, oh, no signal. Are you back? Yep. I can still hear you. Yeah. Okay. Yeah doing great. So you reassess how you feel about retirement. I can tell you based on the research, it's usually about a year to a year and a half, whether or not people really like what they're doing.

And then you get to reward yourself. And here's the tough part about retirement or that period in life is that you've spent your whole life saving, accumulating. Now in some cases you're thinking I got to do asset protection. I got to save my money because I don't know where it's gonna go. But my line to people that do that, you need to, well how do I put this, You need to fly business class because if you don't your heirs will and they will they will spend the money so you've earned it why not and then you know people say what are you looking forward to in life? Well

reuniting with family and friends great but life retirement's not one life long golf game and so reuniting is what does that look like for you? And you need to have, you need to be clear on it. And then of course there's the repositioning of your portfolio so that you can start to draw down and in some cases restructuring so you're taking on less risk. Yeah, yeah. And like what's your greatest sort of advice around investment? You know like I look at a lot of people in their, you know,

midlife now where you start to have sort of a little bit of income and you know, you get scared, right? So like, what do you do? Are you a big fan of, you know, particularly in your forties and fifties, you know, going, taking those risks, as you said, you sort of cut back in retirement a little bit, but how adverse are you? I don't think it's really driven necessarily by age although I think as you tend to get older you become less risk-oriented. You often don't have time on your side to make up for losses but I do think that you need to be cognizant that you have a balanced portfolio. I

can't tell you where these markets are gonna go. I can't tell you where these markets are going to go. I can't tell you if Bitcoin is going to hit 200,000. Some say it is. Or where rates some 80% chance that the next move by the Bank of Canada will be 25 basis points lower. But I would argue, you know what, if tariffs go up, the next move by the Bank of Canada is up, not down. Because inflation will start to take off. And so I can only hedge this by making sure that I'm invested in good quality companies, or mutual funds or exchange traded funds, that are not concentrated in one country only, in one company, or even one currency. And you often hear what people say around,

oh, you've got to be diversified. Well, yes, but what makes diversification work is something called asset allocation. It's look at your portfolio based on your tolerance for risk and time horizon. How much do you have in cash in fixed income like bonds or GICs and the stock market? And that's what will drive your returns because presumably when the stock market's not doing well the bond market will do better and you need

cash because you don't want to cash out of something at exactly the wrong time if you have a bill to pay. Right, so those are our three sort of buckets. Those are so. Yeah, I mean, people get fancy and say, I have alternative investments, and I want to invest in gold, and I want to invest in Bitcoin. But for the average person on the street,

and I'm the average person, I don't have a lot of that. I don't have any of that in my portfolio, quite frankly. I have good companies that are leaders in their industry that pay a dividend, continue to increase their dividends. Okay, got it. So I take risks. I want to be boring financially. I want to be exciting everywhere else. Ah, that's a great line. Boring financially, exciting everywhere else. I got to tell my husband that. That's basically his story. I'm going to get him a t-shirt.

Is there a percentage that works for people? Okay, first of all, this might be a dumb question. So the difference between that stocks conversation and the GICs conversation, what's different? You know, what are different between those two things? You don't want to err on the side of too much caution because when you do that and you sit in cash or GICs, you can have a hard time keeping up with taxes and inflation. You're actually losing money.

And so where you're going to pick up your opportunity is by having money in the stock market, stocks for the long run. Once you've done your research and you have good quality, unless the company has given you a reason you can no longer invest with them for whatever that reason is, quit trying to time the market. The experts don't get it right. When you try to time the market like, oh I'm gonna get into this stock and then I'm

gonna get out and get into this one, you have to get it right twice. Going in and coming out. And some people will get it right and then they start to believe their own predictive powers. Well I got it right this time, I'll get it right next time. Look at me. Yeah look at me. And the odds are that typically doesn't happen. So you don't want to time the market. You don't want to sit in cash, leave your money idle. You don't want to ignore it. And when it comes to risk, I think you have to ask yourself two questions. Not only how much can I afford to lose right now if this doesn't go well, but how much am I willing to lose? So they're two maybe different answers. You may be willing to risk it, but you can't afford to, so you shouldn't do it. I got it. Oh my gosh. Okay. That's so, that's so clear for me. And I

think, you know what I really love the most thing, what I think about, I didn't learn this a lot as a kid. So I don't remember anything, you know, in grade school, I certainly don't remember anything in grad school talking about this. And I'm so grateful for my husband because I watch him have conversations about stocks and investments with our kids. And you know, it was so beautiful.

I think Asher was maybe eight or something and we were driving through some city and he's like, oh my God, I own that bank. Because he had bought a, like he had some sort of investment in RBC or something like that. He's like, Oh, that's the bank I own. That's the bank I own. And I think that that's so critical. How do you, how do you, you know, sort of suggest that people have those conversations? What does that look like? Well, I think, I think that is a classic example. Somehow your child has exposure to one of the big banks

and he can relate to who they are, what they do. You know, it's a gradual thing. We often would do matching with our children. Like you save up X amount of dollars, we'll match it. A classic example for us is I wrote a book called You Plus Investing Equals Success for Kids. I dedicated it to our four kids. Not one of them read it. So when my, not one, and it's not, it wasn't that complicated, but I will tell you that

when my mother-in-law passed away, I asked her, do you have any regrets? We had time to chat before that happened. And she said, I do. I wish I'd been more financially literate. I suspect she was placating to me. But she also said, I want to leave a small inheritance to each of your children. And I said, okay, I have a great idea. Why don't we say they have to read the book and answer five skill testing questions from

me to get your inheritance, but they'll have some financial literacy and if they do it, we'll match it. If they don't, they will still get your inheritance because that's the intent. She loved it. If you have more than one child, you know that they don't do things together at the same time. Three out of four, we gave them three months to read the book. That was like 25 pages. But anyway, three out of four read the book, answered the questions, got the money, and away they went.

They took some of the principles and started to apply them. Dave, who I love dearly, them. Dave, who I love dearly, my own biological son, Dave on the last day, the last hour, I read the stupid book and I'm ready to answer the questions. Dave is my favorite. Dave is Dave, but here's the thing. He did answer the questions and he is so financially savvy, but sometimes you have to let your kids get out of their own way. I was driving on a main highway in Toronto, QEW. He calls speakerphone mom. And he's in first year university.

And you know when you get a call like, Mom, I have the worst news ever. I said, don't say another word. I'm driving. Let me pull over. And he said to me, goes, mom, I owe CRA $1,800. How did you let me let this happen to me? I know. First, Dave, that's not the worst news I've ever heard from a

first year university student. I just need you to know. And I'm going, is this my problem? I know Dave, how is this my problem? It's not. I will sit down and we will look at your finances and we will try to figure it out. And the moral of the story that I'm wanting to get across to people is just because you can help out your children financially or you can help them doesn't mean you should. And saying no can be so much more difficult than just simply saying yes. And I do think they all know the term in our household,

economic outpatient care. It's by a book by Dr. Thomas Stanley, or Stanley Thomas, one or the other. But it's called The Millionaire Next Door. And all of the children read it. And they understand that they're not getting economic outpatient care from us. They all have bought their own homes.

That doesn't mean we haven't helped or gifted and done things and educated. I mean, we paid for their university, but they had to show us a balance sheet and a budget and how much they were putting towards it so that they were very, very involved. Beautiful. And I think it's one of the things that I admire the most about my dad. He's now in the sort of moderate to end stages of dementia and I often was so frustrated with him going through our childhood, you know, because he did, we started out with nothing, he ended up, you know, because he did, we started out with nothing.

He ended up, you know, he's one of the most brilliant humans I've ever met and did very well in business. And so I remember thinking in university, like, are you kidding me? Like, you can help more here. And there would be a conversation around every time, right? Like, okay, what do you need this for? Show it to me. How come?

This is, no, not happening. This is what we, and like, I was so frustrated in those moments, but I'm so grateful for it now. And I think that's the thing that we talk a lot about as parents is like, how do you not create entitled children? Just because you can give them things, and I want to, you know, when they're like,

oh, but everybody's got a phone. I'm like, not everybody in our family does. So it's like, you know, again, we're up against it as parents, we've never really exposure to everything else and everybody has never been this great There's so much fear of missing out and social media has such a strong presence in their life and They do want it and there's nothing wrong with wanting it. It's how they go about achieving it Yes, yes And I think one of the things that I, you know,

am really struggling with, you know, as I navigate things, you know, we set up a trust for our family when I look at, you know, capital gains tax and all of those kind of things that sort of happen in the crossover, you know, generational wealth. I loved my mother-in-law's take on things, you know, similar to you, right, which is like, I'm not making this for you to spend.

And that's not, that's in my head. You know, I remember my dad just saying to me like, I want to be a, no, you don't get to know anything. I'm not making this for you to spend. And that's not, that's in my head. I remember my dad just saying to me like, I wanna be a, no, you don't get to know anything. I'm just gonna give you the envelope and you're gonna be all proud. And I'm like, no, no, no, no. Like what I want more is to learn how to do it for ourselves

so that we could show our children how to do it. It's almost a travesty to get the check, you know? Well, and I think we're seeing, we're seeing a lot of that happen. There's a huge transfer of wealth, trillion dollars. A trillion, I was reading. Yeah. Yeah, and it's outrageous. And knowing what to do with it so it becomes truly intergenerational wealth is a lot about education. But it's also about giving responsibility and empowerment. You know, they often say when you give the child response, the worst thing my parents

could have done for me is give me that responsibility to manage that well. And, um, but they will, they will rise. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I love that. I love that. Oh my gosh, Patty, love it.

Reed, you were just amazing. What's next for you? I mean, I, I really want to know, you know, as you said, you know, I'm just getting started. I mean, I was speaking at you. You had just been back from India. You know, your husband was sort of talking to me about purpose and passion and how we sort of keep our motivation alive. And it's like the greatest.

He said something that he had just learned. Anyway, I'm going to make it all up. But, you know, basically, the best parts of our lives, our biggest things that we leave and to be near the end of our life. And so like, don't stop now. You're just getting started. And he said, my wife is the epitome of this. Like every day I just look at her and think like, okay, here we go.

We're just getting started. So we are. I love it. Tell me everything. What's for next? No, you know, I honestly believe that the next big thing is around the corner. I truly do. And I continue to look for it. I continue to think, okay, how I do believe in sort of staying in my wheelhouse. I don't sure I'm all that great financially speaking. I mean yes I've been talking about it for a long time and I've tried to master that

but I do think more than anything I'm probably a communicator and the craft has been the financial element of my life. But there's so much more I just enjoy doing and you know know, I'm on social media and I think we follow each other on Instagram. I follow you, I don't know if you follow me. Oh, listen, I was a part of every piece of that trip. Don't you kid yourself, yeah. But I've said to people that if you're part of this

community and you won't be, if you're not going to bring something positive forward, we only have so much time and energy and we need recovery in between. And so if you constantly surround yourself with negativity, people who say they can't, they won't, then it becomes a self-fulfilling belief. And so I am definitely of the opinion that I can, that I will, and I'm not always going to succeed. I'm going to fall flat in my face and I often do. But if someone puts a proposal in front of me and I'm not sure how to deal with it, my immediate response is, yeah, I can do that.

Sure. I'll figure out how to do it later. Yeah. Oh, you're amazing. I, I'm just so inspirational. That is it? Well, that's kind. Yeah, well it is.

It's because I have this uncanny ability and I don't even get it that I don't think about the past and I don't dwell too much going forward but I'm right in the moment and so what I will tell my daughters who have children, mom did you feel like this when you were pregnant? I don't know maybe I don't remember like I don't I don't I but here I am with you right now and how can I help you feel better like what can I do to make it easier for you today because I have no idea what I did way back when and and that just may be the way my brain works. I don't know. But when you're very present in the moment, I think you're more open

to opportunities. You tend not to have regrets. I love playing to my strength. I believe passionately about lifelong learning. and you know, play to your strengths, like just play to your strengths. Yeah. Yeah. And knowing that is so critical, right? What are those? And I think I often say that, you know, as I mean, I'm a child psychologist by training, I'm not a huge fan of kids. I'm, I don't, I don't even like cooking. I don't like, you know, but like, I, I understand the importance of relationship and connection and community and nurturing. And you know, my children are the greatest gift that's ever been given to me, but I also

love my work sometimes even more than I love my children because it's love ends up being something where you feel competent. And if you are really good at your craft, you should feel competent there, which makes us want to spend time in these places, right? Which is really what I love about you, Patti. I think that, you know, you're one of the first women that I really think about how many trails you've blazed in this space of, you know, just, I mean, your media presence, your unwavering sort of conversations around things that, as you said, is, you know, generally

in a male dominated place. I think it's just, I think it's brilliant. And I'm so grateful that we got you today. This was so fantastic. Aw, thank you. Thank you so much. I was not pleased about, you know, Jim getting on before me, but okay.

But you know, I mean, Well, you know. Crushed it, crushed it. Both of you together. I'll tell them that anyway, because that's also in my DNA. How'd it go? It was amazing.

Oh, better than yours. Oh better than yours, way better than yours she said. That's what I would say. But again I said to Jim like when both of you are just such an inspiration for me, for us as you know we build you know our businesses together, try to figure out life together and so thank you. Thank you for being so public and available and for this talk. I know so many people in our community are gonna be lucky because of it so I hope I hope they will reach out and I am an open book I'm happy to answer any questions they're not always right the answers but they'll be the best I have so we need so we need oh my gosh all

right everybody have it you're amazing all right everybody take care of each of yourself take care of each other, and I cannot wait to see you, hear you right back here in a couple weeks. Unlonely Podcast is produced by three incredible humans, Brian Siever, Taylor McGilvery, and Jeremy Saunders, all of Snack Lab Productions. Our executive producer, my favorite human on this planet, is Marty Piller. Soundtracks were created by Donovan Morgan, Unlonely Branded Art were created by Elliot Cuss, our big PR shooters are Desvino and Barry Cohen. Our digital marketing manager is the amazing Shana Haddon. Our 007 secret agent from the talent bureau is Jeff Lowness.

And emotional support is provided by Asher Grant, Evan Grant and Olivia Grant. Go live. by Asher Grant, Evan Grant, and Olivia Grant. Go live. I am a registered clinical psychologist in Alberta, Canada. The content created and produced in this show is not intended as specific therapeutic advice. The intention of this podcast is to provide information, resources, education, and the one thing I think we all need the most, a safe place to land in this lonely world. And the one thing I think we all need the most, a safe place to land in this lonely world. We're all so glad you're here. Thank you.