Unlonely with Dr. Jody Carrington - Chase the Good: Brett Gardiner

Episode Date: March 14, 2024

In this episode, Dr. Jody and Brett chat all about men's mental health and how Brett is changing the narrative for so many men in sports.As the most awarded announcer in Western sports history, Brett speaks to over a million people annually and currently works at many of the industry's most celebrated events. But more than that, Brett was a High School teacher for 14 years and worked with some of our school system's most complex learners. Over that time Brett learned firsthand the importance of building relationships and fostering connections with both students and adults. After his successful teaching career, Brett would continue on his journey of helping others and obtain a Master of Counseling Psychology Degree and is currently working towards his doctoral degree in Sport and Performance Psychology. It is this combination of experiences and accolades that have quickly made Brett a strong advocate for mental health, and a highly sought-after mental performance consultant and counsellor to many individuals, athletes and organizations. Brett has also become a public speaker in the area of mental health and motivation.Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brettgardinerlive/?hl=enTwitter: https://twitter.com/brettjgardinerFacebook: https://www.facebook.com/brett.gardiner.712 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. At the beginning of every episode, there will always be time for an acknowledgement. You know, the more we do this, people ask, why do you have to do the acknowledgement in every episode? I got to tell you, I've never been more grateful for being able to raise my babies on a land where so much sacrifice was made. And I think what's really critical in this process is that the ask is just that we don't forget. So the importance of saying these words at the beginning of every episode will always be of utmost importance to me

and this team. So everything that we created here today for you happened on Treaty 7 land, which is now known as the center part of the province of Alberta. It is home of the Blackfoot Confederacy, which is made up of the Siksika, the Kainai, the Pekinni, the Tatina First Nation, the Stony Nakota First Nation, and the Métis Nation Region 3. Our job, our job as humans, is to simply acknowledge each other. That's how we do better, be better, and stay connected to the good. holy listen i this has never been more true friends buckle Okay. I have been excited about this episode for, I can't even tell you since the inception of everyone comes from somewhere. So welcome back. Welcome in. You have landed in maybe hopefully the finest podcast on the planet. And I only, only find some of the best humans I've ever met to join us here so that you can know them and love them too.

Today, I'm going to make you guess a little bit. I'm going to tell you a little bit about who this guy is, okay? He is the most awarded announcer in Western sports history. He speaks to over a million people annually and currently works many of the industry's most celebrated events. But more than that, Brett was a high school teacher for 10 years. Check that. 14 years. And worked with some of our school system's most complex learners. Over that time, he learned firsthand the importance of building relationships and fostering connection with both students and adults.

After his successful teaching career, Brett would continue on his journey of helping others, and he obtained a Master's of Counseling Psychology degree, potentially alongside me at one little short stop, and is currently working towards his doctoral degree in sport and performance psychology. It is a combination, this powerful combination of experience and accolades that have quickly made Brett a strong advocate for mental health and a highly sought after mental performance consultant and counselor to many people, athletes, organizations around the world. Brett has also become a public speaker in the area of mental health and motivation. And I have to tell you, he's also the creator of a movement called Chase the Good, which we're going to talk a little bit about. But above all of those things, Brett is a human who in his presence, you will feel seen. And I just knew that you needed to meet him today because I'm just so impressed with his

grit and his work ethic and his contribution to give back all while raising three babies and walking alongside an incredible wife. And I've just been inspired by him. And I know you will be, too. So, ladies and gentlemen, humans around the globe, I'd like you to say a big warm hello to my friend and yours, brett gardner brett hello yeah that was amazing oh goodness it's so wonderful to see you listen the highlight is all

mine the the honor is all mine and you know when we started talking about this podcast a long time ago i knew that i wanted you on uh here because you just have so much to offer. And as you know, this is a podcast about where you came from. And I know to the core of me that we are all way more alike than we are different. And maybe most importantly, the difference between empathy and judgment often lies in understanding where another comes from. So tell me, Mr. Brett Gardner, where would we start with you? Where have you came from? I come from a beautiful family, a wonderful mother and father,

who I still have the absolute blessing of spending time with them today. And I have a wonderful brother and sister. And I think of this idea of the idea of where I come from. And there's, again, so much to that story. But I think that that family in my world is the foundation. So I come from a beautiful, caring-in home. And I was very fortunate to have a home full of love and support, but also many complexities and lots of intricate stories and unique stories within that. So I think really when I want to talk about where I come from, I come from a loving family that was full of support and connection. And I'm very grateful for that. Which is the ultimate in privilege, isn't it? Yeah, 100%.

You can't give away something you never received. And I think, you know, people ask me all the time as a psychologist, does it always come back to your childhood? Does it always have to come back to your childhood? And the answer unequivocally is yes, not because it is intended to define you, but it is really critically important in understanding how you perceive people in this world. And what I love the most about you is that there is a complexity in that story because you as a gregarious big guy stepped into a world of hockey quite early. You've seen firsthand, particularly in the world of agriculture, you know, when I say a world renowned rodeo announcer, you currently do some of the biggest rodeo events in the world. And if there's ever a time where mental health, particularly of men and boys, have become the forefront, highest rate of suicide in our country is middle aged men. And two of the most significant sports, I think, where there is a massive boys don't cry culture would be hockey and rodeo. And I'm super, super excited to talk

to you today about, you know, your experience in that place. What the fuck do we do for our kids where it's just becoming more and more disconnected in this really easily accessible social media world that our babies can beat the shit out of each other when there's no prefrontal cortex in place, no, you know, parental observation, just simply because so much of this is silent. We're the first generation of parents that don't have a fucking clue about social media. And so we take stuff away and our kids get burner phones and they're connecting to each other even when we don't know it. So I know you have all of that stuff in your back pocket

and you're navigating that with so many kids and families in this moment. You take it from here, my friend. What is the thing the world needs to know the most? What are you noticing the most in this place of mental health for men? Well, and I appreciate, first, let me say this. I wanna congratulate you

on the tremendous success of this podcast. I remember when you had this lovely idea to do a podcast and when you and I did have the opportunity to work together, you have been a tremendous friend and an incredible mentor. And I thank you so much for that, first and foremost. And I know when we talked about this idea of a podcast and you would zoom, you know, to the number one spot. So where you belong. And I just want to congratulate you on that and acknowledge the inspiration you have been to so many. But when I jump back to that

idea, that question, I appreciate this platform to be able to talk about that idea of mental health in men, particularly, and you make the comment of middle-aged men, you know, the highest rate of suicide in any population is middle-aged men. Well, I'm a middle-aged man. I was someone that still deals with suicidal ideation as a lot of people do. It got really scary for me throughout my own journey. And when I acknowledged earlier today about the complexity of my story, yep, some of that comes from when I was a kid. And some of it comes from the stories that I told myself and that I believed and what I gave meaning to and all of these things that shaped me into who I am today, the good and the bad. But when I was able to kind of grow and to learn, I learned that, okay, we don't have to believe

this story anymore. And I learned some skills and I was able to move on. But I acknowledge that first because I think that is where I see the biggest disconnect right now is almost the lack of education and then acceptance. And I want to tell you a couple stories, because I think so many times, and if I'm to speak clinically or working with groups and the work that I do, to see the light turn on for people or for men in particular, when they said, geez, I wish I knew that. I was working with a group of first responders, a wonderful group of firefighters, and they brought me in and we were talking about mental health. We were talking about burnout and trauma and all these things. And it was amazing to walk in there because they knew I was coming. They'd asked me to come.

Everyone, arms crossed, big, strong, scary look on their face. They know they need it, but they're like, I'm not sure not sure about this guy and i get it because i was one of those guys you know and um we're working through some things it's a tough room and i feel that in my my career as a even as an announcer in the last 20 years do what i'm doing my power my superpower is the ability to read a room what does an audience need and i'm like oh geez i gotta I need to do something here. And so we kind of flip the script on him and I get up and I start working the board and I start talking about some things and I start to see some shoulders sink and I start to see some hands come across and I start to see some people kind of reaching over and writing down some notes and

changes in expression. Those are the things we're looking for, of course. And then after I'm done and I talk for six or seven minutes and it's really just, I was talking more about kind of stress and how it works and then it leads to burnout and sometimes it's, you know, anxious filled life and anxious can get to depression, kind of the foundational stuff. And this gentleman says, and I can see he's frustrated and he said, you know, I've been a firefighter for 20 years. How come nobody ever told me that? And I wasn't changing the world in the case of I'm bringing the newest, biggest research. It was just they just didn't have anybody tell them, here's kind of how our thoughts and feelings work sometimes.

Our feelings necessarily aren't facts. And here's something we can do to kind of maybe take a little bit of power back and control the way we feel. Yeah. Our feelings aren't facts. Right. That alone, that single hand knowledge. And I think what I'd really love to say about that is like, that is the impetus of therapy right there is that I want another

explanation for why I feel the way I feel in my body. I want us to explore another opportunity for why maybe I see the world this way or why the smell of gasoline makes me want to throw up or why I can't handle the sight of Christmas lights. I want to know, am I just an asshole? Like, why do I want to throat punch everybody at a light? And, you know, it's sort of like, again, it's that give me another story. And I love this. It is never as complex as we assume. And when you say, you know, this guy would be like, I'm so fucking mad that nobody told

me this. I mean, you know, in my work with first responders, that is really the fundamental basis is that we just give them permission to feel because the, the, the expectation in the culture for often, and, and not only first responders who are like, you know, largely still to this day, men, it is really this idea that generally speaking, when I walk into a hockey dressing room today, boys don't cry. You're acting like a girl. Don't be such a pussy. It is this idea that there is weakness in emotion that we will not cure. We will not fix in our lifetime. So one, and I'm

interested in your thoughts about this. One of the things that I've really had to put aside is my grandiose idea that I can have a massive impact in a culture that perpetuates that belief to this day. Not because we want to, but you can't give away something you've never received. We've been raised by a generation that says this, kids should be seen and not heard. And so we only parent the way we've been parented. We only coach the way we've been coached. We only know how to step in the way we've stepped in. So we got a bunch of middle-aged men coaching our very, very, very disconnected babies. And they're only doing the best they can, which is sit down. You're fucking benched.

Huh? Yeah. You know, I can yell at the rest, but you can't asshole. Huh? Which again, I love this. And you, you are best when you're winning your best. The only end game here is for us to do better in this tournament you came out here and skated like shit you wasted your parents money

whoa time out but you can only give away what you've received so how do we start to change that narrative brett like where are we stepping in to do how do you do that in in your in your mind yeah well what a huge question. And let me acknowledge this first, a couple of things. I think I need to say that, you know, by no means, I don't ever claim to be an expert. I've always said, I think that the power that I've come to find in this process for me is simply my willingness to get in the trenches and move the dirt with the people. That's it. And that's all I ever claimed to do, just the way that I'm built. And even back to where I came from, why? I came from a very benevolent family. My mother and father were tremendous supporters of our community.

My dad was just, I always say he was like the caretaker. He just, if everybody was okay, he was okay, right? So that's what I grew up in. So that very much fueled where I'm at now. So in saying that, I think I also want to acknowledge the idea when you talked about, you know, these feelings and people looking for an alternative answer, meaning in that first responder community. And I think one of the things that sometimes we forget, like in the process of change, is just acceptance. Oh, my goodness. I feel it somatically like my when I'm feeling it or my anxiety is going, I feel it in the body big time still. And it's not like, oh, I tick that box. I'm good now. No, but I'm willing to accept that's my body's response. And I know why. And that's OK. And that's it. That's enough for me.

I accept this is how I feel. This is where I feel it. Maybe what does that mean for me? I'm still working through that. I can't sit and conceptualize my entire case. This is why, because of this experience, I don't have that answer. But I do know that I'm an anxious filled dude. I've been depressed, but when I feel it, it's like, oh, there you are. Okay. How come you're back? Hmm. I wonder why I'm going to talk to you with a little, no judgment and that's okay. We'll keep working on it. Can I tell you one of the biggest shifts I've ever seen in therapy, and I see this every week and it never ceases to amaze me how powerful it is when I say to somebody, where do you feel it?

Okay. So if I were to say that to you right now, where do you feel it? And like, let me keep in mind, we are speaking to a world renowned rodeo announcer, highly successful speaker. He is a psychologist. He's done all of these successful things. And he says, I came from a good family, but I'll tell you the fucking battle in my head sometimes.

So if I were to tell you, I mean, mental health does not discriminate. Let's, let's be clear about that. So when I were to say to you, where do you feel it? Oftentimes, you know, people will tell me when I say feel it, I mean, anything that sort of stresses you out, your anxiety, your biggest worry, the thing that, you know, just sort of that ominous feeling, ominous feeling. And oftentimes, you know, where do people tell you, Brett? So where do you feel it? Like in this moment, just name it for me. Yeah, I feel it. I'll feel it kind of high in my stomach, right under my rib cage is where I feel it the most. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And so, so I would say to you then I would say to you, okay, take a look at that. Give me,

what does that feel like? Does it is give it a color, give it a shape and whatever. And sometimes people will be like, it's black and it's ugly and I fucking hate it. And then I will say every time I want you to give it permission to be there. In fact, I want you to say to it, it's okay. It's okay. I'm so glad I got you. I don't want to say that to it. I hate it. I want to get it out. And you can't address what you don't acknowledge. And we often, particularly with our boys and men want to come up with strategies to just fix it. Okay, put it in a box, throw it out, take it out of your body, do all of those things. And when I just say, take a look at it. In fact, can you get near it? As you just see it sitting

there, that big black ball, maybe people have described it and I'm sure to you like cement blocks or angry red fiery balls or, you know, like it's just it's wrapping my rib cage and it's like a snake that's getting in there and it's just hurting me. I can't even breathe when I talk about it. And I would say, OK, OK, look at me. You're safe in this moment, but I want you just to stand beside it and befriend it. I can't do that. It's the it's it's full of all of my terrible memories. Uh huh. Yeah. And they're there. So just say it's okay. And it's interesting to see what happens again, your experience of the shoulders drop. And every time they say to me, it's, it's getting smaller. It gets smaller when you give it a seat at the table, it gets smaller. Yeah. Because it's

typically trying to tell us something and, and we have to just figure out what that is and remind it that it no longer needs to serve us. And then sometimes it never goes away completely, especially if you have trauma in your bones. It's never safe to say this world is safe because listen, other people not enough people in the world to undo multiple years of intergenerational trauma, right? So you have full permission to stay in that body, baby doll. Let's just stay right there. But now that we see it and we know it, guess what? We get to decide. And I think there is no emotional language primarily for, if I were to compare the dichotomy between men and women that have the ability to do that. So when you have somebody with an emotional language, you or me, or, you know, your, your, your good hockey coach, they don't need to say things like that. They can simply just say things like this. Look at me, tell me more. I'm glad you're here. Those are the same. Those are the same things, but we tend to, when big emotions come, we want to fix it. You're fine.

Take a deep breath, a glass of water. Hey, calm down. Use your word. You know what? You're fucking benched. If you can't be nicer, which I get because we don't want people to be assholery ish or anxiety field or full of depression. We want to snap you out of it. Come on. Look how lucky you are. Be grateful. You're fucking sad for what? do you want a reason to be sad i'll show you i mean how many times and then we feel guilty for being sad or feel guilty for being anxious i should be happy look at who i married and i have money and like why am i upset isn't it a fucking like exhausting? Yeah. Nailed it. Yeah. I think it's so true. And I mean, that example you just give please. And I won't speak for you,

but I'll speak for me. There's lots of days. I'm still that person. I want everybody to know this. It's not like, Oh geez, I wish I could be like, no, no, no. I catch myself all the time. And I like in that idea, if I'm going to try and link this story back to the original question of even like the coaching piece and what can they do. But I think, first of all, in that example, it's like, you know, all your bench or this, where does that emotion come from? And a lot of coaches, it's because they're scared because they don't have the emotional language. So now I don't know what to do with this scary thought. And a lot of times it triggers their own history.

I think of the times my son's a goaltender and he's a wonderful goaltender and he's a great young man. So proud of all of my kids. I was a goalie. I wasn't near as good as him, but there are so many times that he does things and it triggers me and I go back into time. I'm this 15 year old kid again and I'm like, oh my goodness sakes. And it triggers me and I go back into time. I'm this 15 year old kid again. And I'm like, Oh my goodness sakes. And it breaks me apart. But I thought, Whoa, okay, big guy.

That's just stirring up the history. But then what do I do with him? I'm quick to give him a response. Hey, you can't do that. He can do what he needs to, but that's me because I did that when I was 15 and it made me feel like shit. And I still think about it. I haven't been able to get over it. So now my anxiety is coming. And oh, my goodness, if he's not good enough, then I'm not good enough. And what can I do?

And you bet. But then I'm mad, but I'm actually sad. But it's like, whoa, bad guy. Let's find the breaks, y'all. It's okay. Right? So I catch myself in it all the time especially when my kids are involved right outside looking in and there's lots of times I have to say to me if he was my client

what would I say that's a power move for me when I can show up better for him kind of through that idea of fear and threat because that's how we were coached if you don't figure this out by next shift get your ass on the bench I get it that's how I was coached six seven years ago that's what I did too I remember I tell this story and kind of in my public speaking piece and it was my son was playing a game and he was he was a goalie he was like you 11 and they beat a team like 15-1 um it was one of those but all the kids are happy they scored 15 goals of course i feel bad for the other team but they're excited and oh geez we scored all these goals and everybody got a

point and all this stuff and my son's leaving the arena and he was the goal and the one he led in wasn't a great goal you know but, but it doesn't matter. But in that moment, you know, I'm, I'm a hockey dad and with everybody. And, and I remember saying to him, I didn't say, Hey bud, did you have fun? Good game. The first word I said to my son, I said, what were you doing on that goal? You let in. And I saw this smile on my kid's face. And I mean, at the time I didn't have the education I do now, but I was still, I thought a pretty good person and love my kids and all the great stuff. And I saw the look on his face and I can still see it. Like it happened 30 seconds ago.

I took every ounce of fun, everything that he enjoyed about it, all the great experiences. And I just ripped him out of them. And that was a huge moment for me in my journey. And then when I looked at him and in the eyes and I thought, what the, did I just do? And I remember sitting in the rink and I started crying in the rink. And, um, and again, it was amongst my own journey at the time. And I was starting some of my own work. And I remember talking to my son in the corner of the rink and people were walking by and I'm ball. And they're like, you okay? I'm like, I'm okay. And I was just sitting there apologizing to him. And it might be Grady, my son, he's the best man. He's the most empathetic dude ever.

And he says, dad, it's okay. He didn't mean it. I get it. But now what does it tell me? I've created this 11 year old that's taking care of me, trying to manage his dad's emotions. I mean, bless his heart for that. But I've already trained him to take care of me. I'm the parent, him not here. So there's lots in that story. But I say that in acknowledging that, you know, oh, I was doing it wrong. I still do it wrong. Yeah. Just try do not as often. But again, that's what I thought we had to do. Because that's what they did to me. And I'm not saying my dad

necessarily did that to me. I have a wonderful father. But I was just, I'm worried about what other people think. How do I have to show up in the rink? I've got this public life. You know, well, here's what I, here's, you know, what were you doing, son? That's not good enough. What are we doing?

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Find your power. Peloton. Visit Peloton at onepeloton.ca. And I feel like oftentimes too, I always say to, you know, this idea of, you know, being able to, to watch our own stuff because there is so much of this, but you know, even when you say this, you know, there's, there's right, the wrong, all of those things. I think what's so interesting about this is there is actually no fucking wrong way. Like there was just such a beautiful moment that Grady got to be able to step up and say,

and then you got to observe as a dad. And like, I often think that we're so hard at ourselves, even in those moments, like it, it, it was a beautiful time. It was what needed to happen in your growth as a dad.

And, you know, his growth as a, as a, as a child to watch dads fuck it up and the best part of that story is the coming back and i think this is the generation of of people that you know i want you to watch how people repair these days because that is such the biggest predictor not how much we fuck up we are going to flip our lids lose our mind yell at our kids

bench them do all those things that are kind of in our bones. The thing that I love the most about watching, you know, the hockey teams that I get to be involved with, or, you know, even in agriculture now, it is, it is the space for the softness of like, how do we come back and say, oh, I fucked that up, man. I'm so sorry. And it is that piece that I'm most interested in. Hey, what do you, what do you think? I mean, and I want to move a little bit more into the rodeo world around that too, because I think, you know, you, we share such this love for, for the hockey world. And, and I, I have such an appreciation for agriculture. I mean, grow up on a farm. I judged cattle. My husband's a feedlot nutritionist, you know that about my story. And I just, I, every time I get to do a, an agriculture event, I just feels like home to me.

And there's such a love and connection and community that you actually can't find outside of that. I mean, we, you and I both, I mean, deliberately raising my babies in a small town. And for that very reason is that you just, we cannot create community to this degree in this season. Then if I know everybody's first names on our hockey team. I know my neighbors. I don't have to like them all. Fuck. But I but I know, you know, I mean, that's that. I mean, there's no prerequisite here. You don't have to love everybody. But the fact that I know the post office lady, the fact that my kids know Ash gets knocked locked out of the house and he's knocking on the neighbor's door.

And I know that they'll care for him like their own. You know, those are the pieces of our community. So tell me a bit about that shift that you see in agriculture, because certainly our grandparents, our fathers still very much have that mentality of because because it's in their bones about, you know, let's not talk about it. I know you have a huge love for a fellow named Ty Bosbon. Yeah. Who was, I know I love your hat, was a world-renowned bull rider and died by suicide. And you've just done such beautiful things in representing his story, his name, that foundation. Can you tell me a little bit about that? Yeah, certainly. I love every opportunity to talk about Ty. He was a dear friend, and not just to me. He was an absolute dear friend to so, so many.

There was something magical about him, and I'm not sure that I have the words to kind of describe exactly what he had, but it's like, you know, somebody just has it. He had it. I often think about this and the idea of like the light, you know, when I'm struggling, I'm like, okay, what's my number one objective? What do I live for? I just want to be the light. You know, if your candle wick is burnt out, I want to have enough in mind to come over and relight yours. You know, if yours got wet, I mean, I just want to give you a little bit of what I have because not only does that help you and that's what I live for and love, but that also helps me, you know, this idea of giving back. Whether Ty consciously woke up every morning to do that, he absolutely did it like no one I've ever seen.

Really? He was amazing. And just the love and admiration that he had for kids and his family has this beautiful family that was such a tight knit group. And he was just amazing. Ty would win the PBR Canada national title. He would ride to the PBR world finals. He was truly, you know, a world-class bull riding athlete and a one, you know, one in an eight billion kind of guy. Made everybody better. It's one of those guys that everybody was like, oh, you know, we were great friends. You know, whether you are or not, like you just wanted to identify with him, right?

You believed you were. And that was just the magic about him. And regrettably, Ty suffered some concussions throughout his career and many of them documented. And, um, so there was some brain injury there. Um, but you know, to lose someone like that, regardless, uh, really, really, I think spread through the community or the Western sports community because of how well he was loved. He was one of those guys that, um, you know, near the end, certainly, you know, mental health became a problem. But again, when our brains are injured, that happens. But he was also living in a culture that it necessarily wasn't a place where we could

talk about us not being the toughest athletes alive. You know, I just finished up the PBR Canada National Finals and my opening lines is the announcer, you know, what you're about to witness is the most extreme eight seconds on the face of the planet. Simply said, this is the toughest sport on dirt. We talk about the leather clad warriors that put their life on the line. They're the toughest men to breathe air. Well, if I'm the toughest man to breathe air, you know, how can I say that? Geez, you know, I'm not feeling good. I'm not doing good. I hate myself. Right. Right. It's really hard. And, and that's, that's not great. So, you know, it's a, it's a tough culture.

But in saying that, what, what Ty did, since he regrettably passed away has made it okay for so many of us, me included, to be able to stand up here and to talk and to say, hey, I'm not all right. And what he has done for the Western sports culture and those of us that are a part of it. There's been no organization or anything that has had as big of impact as Taya has had since his passing. I'm really proud to say that. And, you know, I just saw his mom yesterday on a Zoom call, for goodness sakes. And, you know, they're just wonderful people. And they're changing the way that people are looking at the game and the type positive on foundation and their association with the Canadian pro rodeo sports medicine team. They have saved so many lives and not only saved lives, but they

have helped people, you know, go from, I'm not doing okay to, Hey, I'm okay. Or I'm good. And you know what, now I'm going to be great. And that is beautiful. And I am forever, uh, you know, in debt for what he has done, um, for the time we got to spend together. And really his legacy is just growing exponentially and beyond words. And, you know, we're so, so proud to support that. But when I go back to the motivation piece, there was certainly one of them that encouraged me to change careers and to jump out into this space because I wish I could have been there to support him in those times. And there's other people that we've lost in our industry that I wish I could have been there. And I'm not saying I'm the answer, but maybe they could have picked up the phone and I could have said, hey, you know what? I want you to phone a friend of mine and maybe you can have a chat. I want it to be OK. Like I said, my ultimate goal in this work, too, is also just to offer permission. It's okay. I've been there. Yep. I suck. You know, I was brutal at this. I

did a bad job. I wanted to do better. I still screw it up, but let's talk about it. You can't tell people you have to show them. And I think that you are, you are the quintessential, you know, model, I think Brett would, which I think is so great. And did, did that lead to, or have any influence in the chase the good movement? Can you tell me a little bit about that and where that came from? Uh, because I'm just, I'm so proud of it. I'm so, I'm so interested in watching it grow. Tell me, tell me about that. Well, it's interesting. The chase, the good movement kind of started when I spent time with you and the team at the clinic was kind of when I did my practicum there. And it was really this idea I had started to tell my kids and it really started on the toes of this thing called COVID and when we all got locked up with one another and all the stuff.

And it was as much for me as anyone. But I guess to preface the story, the majority of my living is made with a microphone in hand. And I had 91 performances canceled in nine days. And I thought, how am I going to make a living? What am I going to do to support my family? And this is coming from someone who I've had been very fortunate in my career. I have so many wonderful people who support me and have been there. And it took me to this kind of dark and scary place. And for me, there was this, I needed a shift. I thought I got to show up for my kids. We're spending lots of time together. So I used to wake up in the morning and the first words I'd tell myself is I'd say,

Hey, Brett, you got to go chase the good stuff today. And that's all it was. I just wanted to, I feel it's important that we protect our focus and you know, where our focus goes, our energy flows. And so it's like, I need to go find what is good and I have to be intentional in that. So that's what I decided. And I said, Hey, I got to go chase the good. And I would tell my kids that, Hey, what are we going to chase today? We're going to go chase the good stuff. And it just kind of became this, this, you know, mantra in our home and kind of a shift to a mindset. And then, um, when, uh, I remember showing up at the home and kind of a shift to a mindset. And then when I remember showing up at the clinic and then I was seeing a lot of people in my practicum work, they were

feeling like me. And it was really then a shift in that mindset. Hey, what are we looking for? Because we always find what we're looking for. If I'm looking for the five o'clock news and waiting for the how long we locked up again i'm gonna feel like crap so this idea of chase the good i was just willing to be intentional in what i was seeking out and i was gonna chase what was good in the world and then um with some wonderful support from members of your team and they're like you got to do something with that and so okay well maybe we'll make some t-shirts and do this and this will be fun and and then it turned into this thing i got my kids involved and um going back to that foundation in my family of benevolence I wanted

them to be able to support my community so how can my kids be involved in in how can we support my community and all of those things so kids got involved start making some of the designs and here's what we're going to raise money for and And this is what we think we can do to support. And then it just kind of got some legs and we had tremendous support from our community. We were like three weeks into this thing. We started the Chase the Good movement and the Sylvan Lake Gulls and the Gulls Give Foundation said, hey, we love this. And they gave us $10,000 from their Gulls Give Foundation. And together with the Gulls Foundation, we got to support all the breakfast programs in our hometown of sylvan lake um we're currently supporting um the 1616 program which is put forth by andrew ladd it's a mental health and mental skills program

and it's free to all teams u13 u11 it's a tremendous program that andrew and brandy ladd and his team have put so much work into. So we've got some money going there and then to some other initiatives through the Alberta High School Rodeo Association and some other scholarship pieces. And it's just been a lot of fun. And then it led into the Chase the Good Tour. And we kind of labeled that or all the speaking gigs next year in 2024. Yeah, the Chase the Good tour. So we're just out there to kind of spread the good word and encourage everybody to all the humankind to chase what's good in the world. Oh, I love it.

All of that stuff is what we need a little bit more of. That's it. I mean, it's as simple as as complex as that. I know I love that T-shirt. All my babies have one. OK, so before we wrap up here, I guess I just want a couple of questions about what is, what is heaviest on your heart these days when you're hanging on, on all, onto all these initiatives and serving all the good people and doing all of this work,

what's heaviest on your heart? Oh, good question. I think, you know, we often want to see change. I'm going to acknowledge the male brain, right? We want answers. We have this uncertainty and like we talked about earlier today, there's this blank we have to fill when we feel it and we give it a meaning and it's not always right. We fill it with something and then what path does it take us down? But I say that in wanting to acknowledge, like, I want an answer and I want to see a shift. So I guess what's heaviest on my heart is I would love to start to see us moving in the right direction. I think coming out of COVID, depression, anxiety, suicide, they're not going down. I think the complex

problems I see and the little bit of individual counseling that I'm still able to do within my schedule. And again, I haven't been in this industry near as long as you have and bless your heart for that. But it's, you know, we see these complex problems and they're not in a 30 year old male, they're at 18 or they're at 60 or they're at 50. And that's the stuff that I find really difficult and it's heaviest on my heart. It's happening sooner, it's happening earlier in our lives and it's happening more often. I'd love to stand here and say, Hey, here's the answer. Y'all get off of social media. Let's go back. And I get it. We can preach all this stuff all the time. But for me, it's like, how can I help move that dirt a little bit? And I've also come to learn sometimes we're waiting for

this big magic thing to happen. But for me, it's like, I'm going to grab my spade. I'm going to get my shovel and I can move just a little bit of dirt today. Maybe it's 1%. Maybe it's half of a percent because that's the only way I know how right now. Yeah. You know, I don't, I'm not smart enough to come up with this big, brilliant theory and challenge CBT and reinvent that and reinvent that. But it's like, I just know right now I'm willing to jump in. And that's kind of what I got. And I just try and encourage others to do that. Because if we can get more hands on the rope,

pulling in the same direction, don't have to have the answers, but let's just grab that rope with no judgment, little empathy, you know, lead with love, y'all. We'll be all right. A small group of people is all it takes to change the world. And I think that's really it. So, I mean, everywhere you go, Lead with love, y'all. We'll be all right. A small group of people is all it takes to change the world. And I think that's really it.

So, I mean, everywhere you go, you spread a little hope. My biggest hope is that you, and you and I have this conversation all the time, that you're looking after you. Yeah, yeah. Because that's the hard part, right? Is that we can't continue to serve if we don't look after us. And I think, I think that's the biggest lesson sometimes in all of this, because the voice in our head is that we should be doing more, you know, particularly in this position of privilege, we should be doing more.

How come we're not enough? Are we, who the fuck do we think we are giving shooting advice and doing all these things, right? Like take a back seat there, zippy. And I think, I don't know where that came from, but I think, take a back seat there zippy and i think i don't know where

that came from uh but i think zippy fuck anyway i think that that i think is one of the biggest lessons right like and i i i wonder about how hard it gets sometimes how can you tell me just a little bit about that before we wrap up? This is the second time I fucking said it. I know I'm aware. Yeah, that's good. I've only got 80 more,

84 more things I want to talk about. So just, we'll just keep wrapping. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is hard. And,

off air before we jumped on, I, you said, no, how are you? How are you really? And like I said, you know, I've never been so tired. I've never been so exhausted, but I've never been so happy.

So, you know, again, as much as I'm going to take the words from you, I mean, balance is bullshit. I don't believe we ever find a balance, but I also believe that we need to acknowledge when the check engine light is on, we have to do something. And I get that question a lot. And to be honest, the last few weeks, everybody's saying, Hey, you okay, buddy? Cause they see a difference in me. I'll admit that, you know, I'm so in the day, six, seven years ago, nevermind. I'm fine. Leave me alone. But I take that now as, Hey, there's people that

care about me. And they're starting to say, hey, there's people that care about me and they're starting to say, oh, you're looking a little tired, big guy, you know, or what are those kind of triggers? So one of the biggest things in this journey for me is my ability to acknowledge and accept that, okay, hey, I'm not feeling it so much, you know, or what do I need to do? And then what can I actively have in place to do that? And I think one of the things that I love to think about, and you do it clinically and taught me how, and we talk about it a lot too in a lot of the work, is like, we always have that baseline. Getting to know and understand what our baseline is.

And then I talk about this a lot in kind of the public speaking and in the corporate worlds I work in. It's like, okay, so now we have to battle our way back to baseline. And what does that look like? The further I get away from it, the more likely I'm going to crash and burn. Oh, has anybody seen Brett in six weeks? Well, no, I guess went right off of social media. Nobody's seen him out and about. And, you know, well, it's probably because I crashed and burned. Right. And it's like, I feel a lot of our work and even this podcast and even the work we do, we're helping people

ease their way back to that baseline whatever that is whatever that gap is right how can we help ease you back do i just need to know a little more what skill set do i need to do so as as much as we want to call it self-care sometimes i don't lean on that expression lots but it's like what do i need to interject here and i think about this visually how i can just kind of i need to the curve. I need to get down here a little bit. I'm not saying I got to get all the way back. But if it keeps going like this, if it keeps going up, it's going to be a crash and burn. I love that.

And I think oftentimes we sort of hang on till Christmas or we hang on till the holiday or, you know, we're taking the kids away next week for 10 days. And I'm like, OK, let's just get there. Let's just get there. But you can't. Like, all I want you to think about today is like no holiday is going to fix it. No fucking whatever. for 10 days and I'm like, okay, let's just get there. Let's just get there. But you can't like, all I want you to think about today is like, no holiday is going to fix it. No fucking whatever. It is like next best, right kind thing. And if you can just do a couple of things today, like in this moment, just drop your shoulders, wiggle your toes, right? Make sure you get a

couple of sips of water in you today. give somebody a compliment today. It is like the little bits of refueling that we lose absolute access to when we start to feel like we have to serve other people or our parents are sick or our kids are, fuck, we didn't do this or we didn't do that. Or like, we're too fat. You know what? I'm, you know, my pants are too tight. I'm such an eight. Well, I fuck, I should go for a workout. The constant inundation by all the things we're not is simply the one place that I start on the days where I feel like I'm losing it. And I think that, that just that permission of you don't actually have to do a one 80 baby. You're not that good. All I need you to do today is just drop your shoulders for a couple more minutes, Hug your phone in outside of your bedroom tonight. Do that for me.

And then tomorrow, I promise you, it's going to be brighter. And I think it's just a little bit like that hope piece that you do so good of influencing in other people. I just want to remind you, I hope you know how amazing you are. Because I just, I need you to hear that today. You are just doing so many great things at rapid fire speed. And today, whatever that looks like, just know, I mean, you're changing them, but you're saving them those things called lives. And, uh, I just want you to know how, how important yours is. So thank you for giving me an hour of your time today. Thank you for

introducing, thank you community for giving this guy a follow and watching all the good that he's going to change in the world. Everything that you need to know about Mr. Brett Gardner will be in the show notes so you can follow along on this journey where he's just changing the world. And yeah, I'm in awe of you. I'm in awe of you big guy. Thank you for being here. And I cannot wait for our next hug because there's some of the best ones on the planet. I'm a great hugger. And I got to say one more thing just to you. I want to thank you for all of your incredible work.

And we talk about showing each other's the way and you have shown so many, and I have to jump back to when I was still teaching school and I was a part of the school system for 14 years as a teacher. And there was no one person in my time in 14 years who changed the way that people talked about kids as much as you did. And we went through all of them from absolutely everywhere. And in this part of the world, you made our school system a safer and healthier place for not only our teachers, but the students within it. And I think it's moments like that that define heroes. And that is absolutely heroic work.

So I want to thank you so much for doing all of that. I appreciate you so much for that, my dear friend. Me too. Me too. So, I mean, if we only had another hour, you and I could go back and forth on like how great we are. I feel like that might be actually good for both of our mental health. But in the meantime, I remain your biggest fan and to everybody else listening today, give it away because I promise you we all need it. Mental health does not discriminate. And me, Brett, and the next guy you make eye contact with on the street needs it too. So thank you for being here today. Look after each other and I cannot wait

to meet you right back here next week. The Everyone Comes From Somewhere podcast is produced by the incredibly talented and handsome team at Snack Labs. Mr. Brian Seaver, Mr. Taylor McGilvery, and the infamous Jeremy Saunders. The soundtracks that you hear at the beginning of every episode were created by Donovan Morgan. Our executive producer is Marty Piller. Our PR big shooters are Des Veneau and Barry Cohen. Our agent, my manager, Jeff Lowness from the Talent Bureau. And emotional support, of course, is provided by, relatively speaking, our children.

For the record, I am a registered clinical psychologist in Alberta, Canada. The content created and produced in this show is not intended as specific therapeutic advice. The intention of this podcast is to provide information, resources, education, and maybe even a little bit of hope. I'm going to go. Whether you're in your running era, Pilates era, or yoga era, dive into Peloton workouts that work with you. From meditating at your kid's game to mastering a strength program, they've got everything you need to keep knocking down your goals. No pressure to be who you're not.

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