Unlonely with Dr. Jody Carrington - Find Us: Jam Gamble

Episode Date: July 4, 2024

Jahmeelah “Jam” Gamble, the energizing #SlayerOfTheMic™, stands as a transformative figure in the realm of public speaking and empowerment.Her own journey from being advised to speak less as a young girl to now inspiring others to voice their thoughts and feelings is a narrative of resilience and empowerment.In this episode Dr. Jody and Jam chat about hate crimes, slay the mic and how Jam is changing this world one mic at a time.Leading the Slay The Mic™ Program since 2016 and consistently demonstrating why toast is better with Jam, she goes beyond conventional public speaking training. Jam cultivates an environment where individuals from various backgrounds learn to harness their voice with confidence, not just for the stage, but in every interaction and decision they make. Under Jam's guidance, participants evolve into #FutureMicSlayers, embracing their unique voices in diverse life scenarios.Get some more Jam in your life:Instagram Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

At the beginning of every episode, there will always be time for an acknowledgement. You know, the more we do this, people ask, why do you have to do the acknowledgement in every episode? I got to tell you, I've never been more grateful for being able to raise my babies on a land where so much sacrifice was made. And I think what's really critical in this process is that the ask is just that we don't forget. So the importance of saying these words at the beginning of every episode will always be of utmost importance to me and this team. So everything that we created here today for you happened on Treaty 7 land, which is now known as the center part of the province of Alberta. It is home of the Blackfoot Confederacy, which is made known as the center part of the province of Alberta.

It is home of the Blackfoot Confederacy, which is made up of the Siksika, the Kainai, the Pekinie, the Tatina First Nation, the Stony Nakota First Nation, and the Métis Nation Region 3. Our job, our job as humans, is to simply acknowledge each other. That's how we do better, be better, and stay going to be something. I'm going to tell you about this human. I have long admired her brilliance. I've learned so much from afar. I have long admired her brilliance. I've learned so much from afar. I have been so, her space is sacred. It feels so critically important to this world.

And I had the opportunity to be in the same space as her a few weeks ago. And I just said, would you be so kind? Would you consider bringing your voice into this community? And I can't, I'm excited. We're going to lose your mind. Okay. Today, you get to meet the incredible Jam Gamble. You stop it. She's the energizing

slayer of the mic. She stands as a transformative figure in the realm of public speaking and empowerment. And I'm going to read a little bit about you because I think Jam. Stop it. I think Jeff, yes, you can. You just think that black people could blush. Look at me. Well, then you deserve it. My love, because this is the thing. Listen, she, here's what I love about her as many powerful women on this planet happen. This is the beginning of her story. Her journey was, you know, came from being advised to speak less as a young girl to now

inspiring others to voice their thoughts and feelings in a net. It's a narrative of resilience and empowerment. She's an educator by training, but she now leads the Slay the Mic program since 2016. And consistently she demonstrates why toast is better with jam. And she goes beyond sort of conventional public speaking training, you know, because I think it's all easy as you say your Toastmaster trick. I can't wait to dive into this shit. But she cultivates an environment where individuals from various backgrounds learn to harness their voice with confidence, not just for the stage, but in every interaction and decision they make. Under JAM's guidance, participants often evolve into future Mike Slayers, embracing the unique voices in diverse life scenarios. And I think what's so critically important about you, JAM, is that you lead a

revolution so relentlessly around being a voice for women, for marginalized people, having a very serious conversation around racism and anti-racism work, white privilege, what is the navigation in this space that I can imagine only many days is, I hope, empowering, but often exhausting. I want to talk a lot about how you own and trust your voice, particularly when you get the shit beat out of you. You're questioned often. I'm going to start with this story, okay? And then I'm going to start with this story, okay? And then I'm going to ask you where you came from. But I watched you walk into a room full of predominantly white women. And I watched you say to another black woman who you walked in

with, find us in this room. How many of there are us? And it was an experience for me that I, as you are well aware, I rarely have to do. In fact, I've never done. And it just reminded me of your stature. I mean, you've been on news programs globally. You've spoken on stages globally. And you are this woman walking into a room saying, just a second, I just want to make sure there's safety here. And I want to talk about that today because where you find that resilience and that strength, I think is something that the world needs to know about. So let's start there. I think so much of this, the ability to understand somebody's, to have empathy for somebody, the difference between empathy and judgment often lands in this place of knowing somebody's story. So, so tell me where, where do you come from?

So I was born in the U S Virgin islands. My family is actually from St. Lucia. And I, and I love to say that because, you know, St. Lucia is such a small Island, but people always have very small thinking when it comes to like when they see a Black person, like, where are you from? So families from St. Lucia, my mom brought me to Canada when I was two. So Canada has always been home. But I come from warmer parts, Jodi.

Yes, not Toronto. Yeah, not this. This is not, this is, this is not me, but yeah, I, I, and, and, you know, you, you asked where do I come from? And we always lead from our, our, our place of origin, but I come from Samartha. That's my mom. That's where I come from. And that is someone who has played a pivotal role in my upbringing and what her story was to get me here and to raise me to the woman I am today. That is where I come from first. I happened to be born in the U.S. Virgin Islands. I could say that now because Trump is not in power, but I come from Samartha. Samartha. And she named you Jamalia.

Is that how I say it? No, no. She actually, so here's the funny thing. So my birth name is Jamila. Jamila, thank you. Yeah, it's actually Arabic for beautiful. And she wanted God to be in my name. So Jamila could be spelled in numerous ways.

In fact, like when I was in grade three, I think, my best friend Crystal ran up to me. She's like, there's another one. And I was like, what do you mean another one? Like, what do you, what, that could mean a ton of things, right? And I was one of like the only Black girls in my elementary school.

So I didn't know what she meant by another one. And I don't even think we knew what race was back then, but she meant another Jamila who happened to become my next best friend. And we were neighbors. We were born a day apart and we had the same name, except my name has J-A-H for God. And then Jamila means beautiful in Arabic. So essentially my mom named me beautiful goddess. Yeah. did yeah she did and did she ever get it right can i just say right she knew that's what i love about this she knew she knew she said she she said when she was in labor she she was tired of pushing she kind of wanted i don't know anymore hinda like but it's a girl it's's a girl. Okay. I got the energy. She wasn't going

through this for some boy. Oh my gosh. I love it. And is there siblings in this story? Is it just you? Yep. Yep. I have a younger brother who is actually taller than me. His name is Corbin and we are our mom's proudest achievements. Ah, that's amazing. And is mom still with us? Where is she? Where is she? Yes, mom lives in the good old town of Brampton. So I live like 15 minutes from her,

but to her 15 minutes is like a whole country away. So that's fine. So whole other therapy session. When I get on the highway, it takes me like 12 minutes if I'm doing like 132. Oh my gosh. So you come into this place, this, this country that, you know, as you said, a lot of people didn't look like you. How, how did that, how did that story unfold for you? How did it get to you? Here's the thing. I think now, like when people talk about race and they're like, ah, why do we have to make everything

about race? Cause I think there was a time where we didn't talk about it. And like, I don't think I realized that, you know, we were different colors or had different features until someone pointed it out in me. Um, and like, it was something I was never taught. My mom didn't really talk a lot about race and things like that. Cause she just wanted us to kind of like go into the world and just, you know, just be. But like I have very vivid memories of being in elementary school and sitting in the gymnasium for an assembly and two classmates turning around asking me why my lips were so big and why my my skin color was that color. And I was like, well, I don't know, like, I don't know, like that, this is, this is it. And that was probably like the earliest memory I have of being quote unquote difference. Right. But up until that, I didn't know squat. That was just me.

Interesting. And, and so then where does, does that become a big part of the story as you navigate? I don't, I think I was very oblivious to things. I think I saw, I have memories of seeing things happen to my mom. And those memories have never left me. Like they are forever like etched in my brain of hearing things that people said to my mom in moments of rage or, you know, now as I get older, she talks about what it was like for her kind of coming up into Canada and trying to establish herself. I have a few, you know, occurrences from when I was in college, but I don't, I don't think I held on to them.

Like, I think I packed them away. And I, and I think that's just because, you know, there's so many microaggressions and things that you go through that you just automatically, like your body just automatically packs it away. And you don't really think about it until you have permission to think about it and to talk about it. And so we didn't have that permission while I was in school. We didn't have those uncomfortable conversations only until I think like my late twenties and maybe even thirties, we're talking about microaggressions. I'm like, what's that? Oh, that's what, oh, oh, cause I didn't know. Right.

Yeah. Wow. And I mean, many people that I've talked to talk about the experience of George Floyd as being a pivotal time in the history of being able to, the permission that you speak about, right? Is that like, and permission is such a fucking bad word. I hate it even when it comes out of my mouth. But it's like I almost feel like there was such a long time coming that it wasn't safe to be able to have conversations or to be able to draw attention to the massive discrepancy. And do you feel like that? I mean, why now?

Why is this? Have we even got started? What's your opinion in this space? I don't have one. I don't think I have one because I think I am. I think people who have the capacity to could have one. rooted in feeling unsafe, feeling attacked, being questioned, being othered. We just got to be ready for the next hit. So I don't have an opinion because I had one in 2020. And, you know there was all kinds of reactions and to to having opinions or discussing those things but I had to prioritize my safety so I think part of me not having an opinion like a public opinion like this is like my body's way of saying shh like keep your energy in check. Do you feel safe now? Are there places where, where you feel safe? So I went through a hate crime in 2021.

And so that I'm at a, I'm at a place now where I could say that out loud without, and there's moments where I, you know, I might break into tears when I talk about it or whatever it may be, but I'm in a better head space now where I could actually know, I might break into tears when I talk about it or whatever it may be, but I'm in a better headspace now where I could actually say out loud and use my full voice and say, I went through a hate crime in 2021. And that rocked my world. That my safety was compromised. My sense of self was compromised. I remember, you know, the kind of questions I got like what did you do for that to happen and to me it felt like

when a person is sexually assaulted and it's like well how much did you drink what were you wearing and it's like that's like those are not the questions to be asking um and so I felt very unsafe my paranoia was through the roof um I felt like I was walking this earth as a, as like a shell version of myself, but I was still working. Um, I was working through the busiest season because 2021 was a time where, uh, there was a surging demand for Black energy and talent. And I joke with my husband and say, well, I got to be a surfer because I got to ride this wave. Like, I didn't know when this wave was going to die down. So if that means I have to just keep my head down and just keep going, going, going, going, I'm going to do that.

So I did not prioritize my healing. I didn't go for therapy. I was dealing with the police every week and then running a business and then doing speaking engagements and all that stuff that I remember my operations manager and I were going over finances. And she's like, you know, this is what the numbers have been for the last couple of months. And I was like, that's not right. She's like, what do you mean? That's not right. I'm like, there's no way I made that amount of money between April and August. And she's like, are you forgetting January to March? Yes, I did. My hate crime happened in January. So I blocked out those months and I didn't, I forgot how much I worked. I forgot how successful I was while navigating a hate crime. So I have reclaimed my safety,

but there are certain places where I go and I'm in an interracial marriage. And when my husband and I first got together, he didn't think those things existed until he started to see the stares and the comments that people would make. So when we go into small towns, I don't come out of the car I'm like you pump that gas you go get the snacks I'm not coming out do you see do you see Jodi tell me why this man stopped at a fry truck

Jodi and the fry truck was somewhere it was almost in Peterborough for the people in my neck of the woods, you know. You know about Peterborough. So this man stops at a fry truck that happened to be between a shooting range and a gun shop. And he stops our car and he's like, babe, let's get some fries. I was like, absolutely not not I am not coming out of

this car get me my fries make sure they're salted vinegar on the side and let's keep it going oh my god and I come I come out and I'm just like hold up I'm just like my god I am just I'm looking left I'm looking right and I have my dog and the people in the truck are looking at me I'm looking at them they're looking at my husband they're looking at me and then they're looking at the dog and the guy comes out he's like and i'm not even mimicking accents guys this is real this has nothing to do with beyonce's album he comes out he goes that dog friendly and i was like yeah he's like can I pet him I was like yeah and then he like and it's like the standoff right and then he he kneels down to my beautiful son bougie bows there he goes oh who's a good dog oh my god and then we just with this tension was broken by this dog. And I realized that I have been forced to look at certain people in certain parts of the world differently, but I don't have to all the time.

I don't have to all the time. And so, you know, shout out to Bougie Bowser for being the segue. Yeah. Being the segue, but it ended up being a really a really cool moment and i've had i've had several moments since the hate crime that has restored my faith that's reminded me that i can trust again that not everyone assumes the worst when they see me um and that's allowed my shoulders just to go down a little bit. I still got my guard up, but you know, like I could relax a little. I just, first of all, I bust my soul that your soul had to experience that. And I, and I have

to tell you, if you're listening to us, I'm just watching you jam as you tell this story. And I just, I can see that hope in your body. And it just, you know, what I was thinking about when you were saying that is Brene Brown has this statement that I often think about people are hard to hate closeup. And I, I love that you see, because, you know, we, we talk a lot about this. We all start in exactly the same place, right? We all hear this, the heartbeat of our mamas first. And that sense of being seen, of emotional regulation means our DNA is 99.98% the same across this globe. And we are way more alike than we are different. And when you are just seen, I mean, it often happens over a baby, over a dog, over a recipe, over music, right? We'll talk about Queen Bee in

a second. And when that can bring us together, especially when we don't look even anywhere near each other, smell anywhere near each other, cook, eat, pray, whatever those things identify. I think about that so often about the necessity. What is the bridge? What is the capacity? And it was, you know, your, your dog, it's music. It's, you know, and, and it, it takes that. And the more you have experienced trauma, the more you've experienced this world to be encoded in terror. It takes that much more to be able to just say, yes, it's a friendly dog versus no, he's going to bite your face off. Motherfucker. I want to go back to what you said when you when you mentioned like, are there places where you don't feel safe?

And and I just replayed that in my head as you as you were reflecting. And I was like, there are several places where I don't feel safe, but I belong here and I'm allowed to be there. And those are things I say to myself, like, you're allowed to be here. You're allowed to be sitting in business class. You're allowed to be in this foreign country buying a luxury bag. You're allowed to be on this stage. You're allowed, like I'm allowed and I should be. And so those are things I say to myself when I feel like, you know, let's go back into that shell of paranoia.

No, no, no, no, no. Like I have to be here. I should be here and I will be there. And that's what just gives me that. Yeah. I love that. And so what I want to just like point out is, is as I watch you say those things, I think about the amount of energy that it must take

for, and I think about this all the time in the world of mental health, marginalized peoples, people who have survived, I use that term loosely, a cultural genocide, people who have, you know, experienced those things, what it takes to just navigate the world. When imagine a place like, and I think about this cause I live it where you don't have to think about that all the time. And, and then you just get to function the same way. I mean, both of us eat and sleep and engage in our relationships and build our businesses and do all of those things. Like when we often talk about starting on third base, right? With, in this space of privilege. When you said that in Calgary, I kid you not.

I was like, third base. Shit, Jodi, that's good. Well, that's not mine. That's Glennon Doyle. Glennon Doyle said that. I was like, shit. But think about- I'm a visual that. I was like, shit. But think about that. I'm a visual person.

I'm a visual person. And I literally visualized what it is to be on third base. And it's like, it's effortless. You're like, boom. Ah! And the crowd goes wild. It's like, I'm still over here at first base deciding if I'm going to go steal second. That's true. Watch baseball. And I know this.

And, but isn't that the truth? It's the truth. But you think about like, you think about just so many people that we work with or that we've, you know, we've taught over the years or recently, you know, I, I said that so often, you know, Jesse Thistle and I shared the stage once, um, who's, he's one of my heroes. And so he wrote from the ashes. He's an indigenous man who now is finishing his PhD and, uh, was in jail and homeless and all of the things, um, and is just so remarkable. And I often think about this, like, you know, we ended up in the same place. You, we've been in the same place as speaking similar

language, similar stages, not at the same time ever yet, but same, same. What it took for me to get there, what it took for you to get there are completely different things theoretically. And it's not to diminish. And again, I, I, I say this for people who then get defensive around, this is not to diminish anybody's success. It is really about to, to, to understand that when we have the awareness of just what it takes for some people to navigate this world, it is the induction of empathy that allows us then to be much more connected. If I think, you know, that, you know, people are saying these things because, uh, I've never thought, Oh, well, what do you mean? I worked hard too, to get here yet. This is, I'm not diminishing anything. No, no, no, no, you know, people are saying these things because, uh, I've never thought, Oh, well, what do you mean? I worked hard to, to get here yet.

This is, I'm not diminishing anything. No, no, no, no, no. Just it's this idea, however, that if we want to have empathy for each other and I understand what it's like that you built this business. I mean, I watched you. I mean, the yellow purse looking for, uh, that I, that was the, there she is. You got to tell that story real quick because that god if you don't know about the yellow purse i might i'm gonna try to tag that episode in the show notes it still must live somewhere it lives somewhere so let's talk about

that real quick let me summarize that um in the year of 2020 before the pen before the panorama ding dong shut us all down i attended a conference that was hosted by someone with the initials r and h um we attended said conference um and uh we attended the conference and um people asked me what my opinion was in the conference and i i said i was just looking for the content i couldn't find the content the content just wasn't it wasn't there now when i i'm a dramatical person i i like props i happen to have a yellow bag and when i said that i was looking for the contents jody i swear on my dog's life i did not anticipate that there was going to be a scrunched up piece of Kleenex in that yellow bag.

That when I flipped it over for dramatic effects and that dusty piece of Kleenex fell out, I could not have planned that. That was just... And the yellow bag became an iconic figure from that day forward. Yes, she did. And it was just, but it was such, I mean, when you talk about visuals, it was like, you're sitting in this room where people have paid at me included thousands of dollars to listen, to be inspired, to, you know, be led by right in a

season of looking for connection. Um, the concern I have sometime in this space of people trying to create a environment where they have no business sharing information around mental health and, you know, how we navigate our world and just try harder. And, you know, there's no understanding about how and where and the history of, of so many things. So I, I just really appreciate it so much. And I was like, in the, like, yes, there is, it is empty. It was empty. She was, I loved it. And I, and I think then I just think about, you know, from that moment, your capacity, how did slay the mic start? Where did that come from? And, and tell me about that business. i know there's so many iterations of that coming for you and it's just it's what the world needs um slay the mic i'm a very impulsive person um and and so the part

of slay the mic that i often leave out when i'm sharing the story is when i accidentally launched my TV show back in 2013. Wait, wait, wait. There we go. Yeah. So when I graduated from college, my mom's advice was not to be basic. And so I went to school for my DSW, which is developmental services. So from the time that I was in high school, I was volunteering with the city of Brampton in their special needs summer camps. And I loved it. And then I worked for the city for eight years as a special needs camp counselor. I went to school for my DSW, even though I wanted to go to school for advertising. My mom was like, that's a soulless job, get out of it. So I went for my DSW. A lot of my peers went back to school for nursing, or they went and worked in group homes. my mom was like no to both so I

had a passion for talking about my clients and my students I loved it like if you stopped me at a party and said what do you do like oh my god let me gush about my kids and like how many kids do you have like whether or not mine like I teach them but I love them like they're my own and so I approached Rogers Television said I wanted to do a segment for Autism Awareness Month they prepped me for it I told them what not to ask me. They asked me the questions. I watched back that interview and I'm like, I look good. Like my hair looks good. Outfit looks good. I just don't like how I sound. So I had two options. I could either just let that episode sit or I could try again. Most of us don't want to try again. Right. So I decided I want to try again.

So I re-approached Rogers, went on their website, filled out a show proposal. I thought when I clicked show proposal that I was proposing whose show I wanted to be on, not proposing my own show. So I had a meeting with this producer. He's asking me all these questions, like the set and, you know, like co-host co-hosts I'm like no like I'm a solo butterfly like I fly on my own like butterfly in the sky and and then I told him what my idea was I'm talking on my ass and then like three days later he's like Rogers likes it can you can you do a pilot episode like a pilot episode I had to google what a pilot episode was and then I googled what a pilot episode was and then it told me what it was. And then I had to ask Google again, how do I, how do I make a pilot episode? And then Google, because

there was no chat GPT back then. So Google told me how to make a pilot episode and I made a pilot episode. And next thing you know, I had a show for six seasons. So the show, the show was called A Voice for All, where the show aimed to amplify the voices of people with disabilities, frontline staff, parents and community organizations. And you didn't have to have a disability or know some of the disability. I wanted the community to come together to understand what we could do as residents and citizens to support families and individuals. So I had that show for six seasons. I was not paid a dime because it was a volunteer position we didn't have a budget which meant we had no teleprompter so I winged

every single episode I produced every episode I got all my guests I styled myself I did all that on my own that when I got this little bit of clout I'm a TV host I'm a producer then I was like well let me try to make some money and so I went to a wedding

the wedding had a really crappy emcee I looked at my husband like this emcee's crappy I could do a better job and then he was like yeah you could and then that was around the time in Instagram where people started popping up like I'm a coach I'm a coach I got a service I got a product and I'm like everybody and their dog has a business or a product or a service I want to have one so over a morning cup of coffee, I looked at my husband. I'm like, I didn't want to start a public speaking coaching program. He goes, babe, you can do anything. I'm like, you're right. I can. And then I went on Instagram and I

was like, Hey, if you want to help with like finding your voice and public speaking, I'm your girl. Ask me how much credibility I had. Not much, but I had balls. And I was like, I can do this. I feel it in my gut. I already know how to teach. My background's in education. I'm a talker. People want to talk. I'm going to help the people. Because so many people kept asking me, how do you get on stage and do that? Like, how do you just talk from the heart or make jokes and just work the room? And believe it or not, Jodi, I didn't realize that people had a fear of public speaking. I didn't know that. I didn't know that was a thing. Like I got in trouble for it all the time. So why would people be afraid of this? Like, I just, it didn't add up. So when I got the little TV show, then I was like, so what's the next thing that media people do? Oh, right. They become TEDx speakers. So I applied to be a TEDx speaker. They said, yeah, your proposal is cool and all, but we think you'd be better as a host. And I was like, okay, cool. And they're like, but we need you to write your script. So I was like, a script? You guys are funny.

I don't do scripts. So like, yeah, we're TEDx. We use scripts. I was like, but I don't do scripts. Like, again, I'm a butterfly. Like, you know? And they connect to me with a public speaking coach. First time I came across a public speaking coach, I didn't know those things existed. I didn't know those people existed. I had no damn clue, Jodi. And then she meets me and she's like, they need your speech. I'm like, I don't write speeches. I'm a winger. I talk from the heart. And I convinced her to let me wing it. And they let me wing the entire eight hour program for TEDx. And I pulled it all out. Like I was just like, yeah, you did. At the end of the day, she gave me her business card and she says, this is not for you. This is for somebody else who needs it.

And that was like the first time in my life where somebody is like, I appreciate how much you talk. And then I went on to launch, I went on to launch Slay the Mic. That's how it started. Yeah. I love that. I love it. I love it. Okay. So, and now what happens? Like how many people, like, what does the program look like? The program has evolved over the years. Um, you know, originally when I started,

I thought I was only going to help public speakers and people who wanted to be more confident on stage. And then I had this one client who was like, I don't want to be on a stage. I just want to feel like I could talk. And I was like, oh, people need help with that. And then I just changed it all up. And I think that's why I say the mic is different than anything else out there

because I take a real holistic approach. I look at the individual and the vocal roadblocks that are blocking their voice from being utilized in the way that that person wants to utilize their voice, not in the way that society expects them to, but how they want to. And so I originally started with doing one-on-one coaching. I even found an Instagram post of my old prices. And I was like, girl, you were asking for $150 at a couple more zeros. Like what? Like that's growth, right?

So went from the one-on-one and then I put on my first like little vent. And when I really look back, I'm like, holy crap, like you, you were doing it. Like an idea came to you and you were just plugging it out and putting it out and showing people

I could do this. I'm the one. I never imagined when I started in 2016, officially, that this program would evolve to be an international program that has voices from around the world that has helped people of all ages and all backgrounds, not just transform how they use their voice publicly, but how they use their voice to talk to themselves, how they use their voice to heal, how they use their voice to talk to themselves, how they use their voice to heal, how they use their voice to communicate with their partners. Like it, I would have never imagined that this little idea of mine would grow legs and limbs and then build

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See a real doctor on your phone in minutes, 24-7. Get Maple. Get well. Sooner. Oh, I love that. What, you know, in all of these years and these people that you've gathered along the way, what do you think gets in the way the most of people just saying their truth, speaking their truth. What are people going to think? What do people, what are they going to think? And the key word

in that statement is not think, but people. And let me explain to you. So my mother, dears, who I, I, I gave some love and shout out to in the beginning of this podcast. When my mother is upset, she loves to say people in this family. And I say, mother, we are a small yet humble family of five. Who is the person? Is it my brother? No, couldn't be him. Is it my husband? No, couldn't be him. Is it my stepfather? No, it's me. Hi, I'm the problem. It's me. So I took a page from my mom and I'm like, it's not about people. We have to be specific about who the person is. When we specifically address who the person is, because people say people, so you're telling me you're walking this whole earth, assuming that everyone is judging you and your voice.

Are you mad? That's energy sucking. Let's be specific. Who is it? Is it your Aunt Beatrice who watches your Instagram videos? Is it? Is it your ex? Is it your current partner? Do you know many women I've coached who they point to their office door like this because their husband's outside the door and they can't talk about them being their Kanye? And they just, they just point. Wow. So when we, when we address specifically who the person is, then we are able to be specific about what that person specifically is doing to impact us. And then when we are aware of how that person is impacting us, then we know what we have to do to take down that problem. It's a process.

So true. And I hear people say this all the time, you know, and I'm sure you get this, right? People say, this is great, Jem. I love this. You are amazing. You changed my life. We can have 55 million of those. And then you get the one DM or the one person who comes after, or the two that it was like, I don't think that's appropriate. You swore too much. You know what I

don't? And isn't it phenomenal how that can debilitate an entire movement that you've created you put your heart and soul into as you said that when we were um so going back to our friend rh um i i did a live on um her comments that she had made in her tiktok because everyone was in my dms asking me what i thought about rh's comments on tiktok and i decided I'm going to go live. I did not anticipate that that live was going to go viral. I did not anticipate that. I felt very exposed. Everybody wants to go viral until you go viral.

And then you feel very raw. And you're like, oh, God, there's too much eyes on me. There's people who are combing through all of my comments, all of my posts. It's a very eerie feeling. But I had people saying, listen listen I rock with that person I have supported that person for years but your live made me think about it deeper and I thank you for that and then there was one particular DM I got that said I am so sick and tired of Black people like you talking about racism and profiting from it. And I can remember that word verbatim because I remember feeling like someone just soccer punched me in the gut. And I felt sick that someone thought that I enjoyed talking about racism

and that I was profiting from it. And I was like, wait, what? And I remember I came online. I was like, I got to take a couple of days off. I'm feeling, I just, I'm flatlined right now. I am flatlined. And I just, I had to disappear for a little, a couple of days because that just was so far from the truth. So it reminds me that, yeah, we always get that one comment. And that one comment is the 2%. And I chose to focus on the 98% of the people. I chose to shift my energy to focus on that, to keep me afloat. And that's the question, right? When you talk about those people, I can't get online because those people are saying these things, or I can't stand up on the stage because of those people, or I'm scared when I stand up, it's the people over there that,

and what you're saying is you, you are envisioning that person in the crowd, uh, in your DMs. Would you make a post? I do this all the time. When I make a post, I'm like, Oh fuck, I shouldn't. What if that, and listen, it's not always bad, right? Like our ability to reflect on what we say in our behavior. I, I don't want that feeling to go away. I say this quite often because I want that to be kept in check, but when it overrides the goodness that you're doing, like I just think about how many people you've influenced in the world and how one experience, and this is so often the truth for anybody who's experienced trauma in big T's or little T's or cumulative T's, what happens is it starts to slow down our purpose on

this planet. Yes. And where you know your purpose is there, it's in those processes where, you know, women, and I saw, you know, when I'm in the same room as you, I see people just in awe. Like they stand by you. They want to know about you. They ask you questions. I mean, I was one of them because I'm much shorter than Jam.

So I'm standing at the feet of the goddess going, hi, would you be on my podcast? I was like, yes. It was so great. But I think like, I think that's the point, right? Like, yeah, I often think about that. So if I stop now and many of us in when, when you take a risk and have public conversations, you expose parts of yourself, your family, your history, the ability to Google you

becomes so much easier and all of us have stories. And so there's often a question, is this worth it? Right? Is it worth it? Is it worth it to be able to allow people to find their voice, to trust their voice based on your experience and your story? And when you sit with the little people that you educate, when you sit with the big people who just need to be inspired by you, when I think about all of the patients that I've treated, when I think about all the rooms that I lately. Um, uh, Jill Harris. I mean, I know you, you've spoke to her too about like, you're just going for it and you with such good intention. And then when you fuck it up, you want to like, okay, good. Got it. But then when you get addressed or attacked in a way that is like, Whoa, no, that's not, there's not even a piece

of that that I will own. Cause it's just not. Yeah. So I firmly believe in, you know, we're damned if we do, we damned if we don't. So we might as well be damned for doing that. I might as well. And we're not, we're not going to please everyone. We're not always going to say the right thing. And sometimes we get called in, called out, whatever phrase people want to come up with being addressed. And I think we assume that we have to respond and react right away. And we don't realize that we could actually sit and process and go through the feelings and then decide how we're going to proceed. In 2021, there was a lot of worldly events that were going on. My DMs were full. My Instagram lives were being bombarded in the comment section. And I did everything in my power to ignore for as long as I could. And then eventually I had to,

like, I was in the middle of a live and I looked like straight into the lens. I was like, hey, yo, I'm Jam Gamble. And I am not the one to tell me how to use my voice, when to use my voice, and what I should do with my voice. If you want to have a say in how or when or what I say, let me direct you to www.iamjamgamble.com slash book jam gamble you could put an event request in if the budget is right i'll say what you want baby but up until then take a seat it's not happening i am not i am not the person i am not the person to try that with you could try that person to the left you could try that person to the right but you see this woman right here i am not the person to try that with. You could try that person to the left. You could try that person to the right. But you see this woman right here, I am not the person to try this to. And I think some of us are uncomfortable with taking that stance.

But here's the thing. When you have been told for so many years what you can and cannot do, and you've been criticized for how you do it. Again, let me go back to being damned if I do and I'm damned if I don't. So I say what I need to say. And I'm not always going to please people. And that's okay. As long as my mama still loves me, it's fine. That's okay. That's okay. And I think, and that really leads me into this community that you've built, because I think that this is what's so critically important, the importance of amplifying other people's voices. How can we

change someone by simply using ours? I want you to talk to me about that because I think that's the purpose at the end of the day, right? Like if you're building a business and hear me when I say this has taken a long time, we shouldn't be, um, we should be very proud, particularly as women, of making money and becoming successful and putting books and talks and widgets together in a place that finally we get a place. I think that your greatest success will come in your capacity to bring people with you, learn from people along the way, raise each other up in that process. That's where we get to land, I think, the most credibility and that all comes together. Tell me about your understanding of that. Like the importance of amplifying others. How does that get you to where you've been? How have you done that for others? I was speaking at an event like a couple of weeks ago and I said, I want you to think about when someone has said something kind to you or stood by your side and said, I got you and what that

did for you. That made you see the world differently. That changed the course of your day. That made you feel safe. You could also do the same. And I think we look at people who are hundreds of thousands of followers, blue check, everybody knows them as the only people who could change someone's day, who could be inspirational and all these things. We all have a human responsibility and obligation to be good people. We don't need to know one another to uplift one another. We don't need to know people to hype people up. We don't need to know someone personally or have a stake in the game to say, you know what, I'm going to give you a bit of advice. And this, you know, I hope this finds you well and benefits you. We just have to be a good freaking human who's making a choice to

be a good freaking human who doesn't want to hoard this, this power. Like hoard it. Like I got this power, but you know what, I'm keeping it off of my damn self. Like, no, share it, be a damn care bearer, stick your belly out, just like blast it out there. Cause we all can change someone's life. And to me, it's not my clients who I'm most like grateful for, for being a part of my community. It's people who have never paid me a damn dime to learn from me, who DM me and say, your content inspired me to do this. And that's when I know I am doing good in this world, that I don't need to have a transaction. I don't need to receive something to encourage and educate and empower people. I just put it out there and hope that people take it and say, oh God, this is way too heavy. I got

to share this with somebody and shares it with the next person. And that person shares with the next person. That's what I'm doing. Yeah. That's what I'm doing. Are you ever, are you ever? And I'm, I'm so, I think that is so true. You can feel that you can't fake that for long. Would you agree? You know, when people always say, I'm doing this for other people, I mean, but like, it becomes very, it's easy to see, would you say? Can I say how many times when you, first off, I was very teary eyed in how you introduced me. You couldn't see it, but I was, because it was such a beautiful introduction. And then the amount of times you said, oh, you know, you're changing lives. Do you know how

hard that is for me to mentally process? Because I didn't start this work to change lives. I started this work just to help people with their voice. I did not realize the domino effect. And to change someone's life, that's a lot of power. And I don't know how I feel having that much power or being given that much power. And so when people come up to me and say, and I had a woman at a conference, I was at two weeks ago who came and said, I've had an email for three years. It's been sitting in draft to send to you, to tell you how you've changed my life. And I was like, Oh, I, I don't know how to hold this. Can someone else hold this? Cause I don't know how to hold this. Oh God. Whoa. That is a privilege. It is a privilege and an honor to hear someone say your work, your impact did this and everyone can do this. We just have to make a decision and a

choice to do it. Oh my goodness. And you know, Gem, I say this often and I know this is true about you. You not only change lives, you save them. And I think that it's scary in that process is because it's not that you have to do it. It's that just because of you and your ability to be in this place, you, you do that. And I think, you know, when I hear people say that it, it takes my breath away. But I, I think when, when you spin that too, we all have that power and we often feel overwhelmed when we're like, well, we, we, you know, what do you mean? We, we're going to, I'm going to have to start a nonprofit. Uh, I'm going to, for homeless teenage moms. Okay. No, I can. What do you mean? The

mental health crisis that everybody's the suicidal, the eating disorders, the bit of that. Okay. Here's the only thing, the only call today for me, same as you, is next best right kind thing. And when you add a few of those together, you have no idea. You know my favorite DMs, my favorite conversations after a talk are things that said, you have no idea how much I needed this today. Or it reminded me, I was thinking about my baby all during your talk, the one that I buried when he was three. And I was thinking, I need to live well for the both of us. Thank you for reminding me of that today.

Right? The intention is not, I have no idea when we're putting a message into the world, who's going to listen to this podcast. I have no idea who's going to read a post. And you know what? It's for, it is only the message that I hope the world needs to find at some point. And if they find it and it changes lives and it saves it, you know what? As simple as this is, you give some kid a compliment at the circle K,

when you would have just walked past them, they got the purple hair and the piercings, and it's very inappropriate in your mind that children are dressing this way. And you say, that is some fantastic hair. Watch what happens to the shoulders. Watch what happens to the chin. Do you see? Cost you nothing.

And I think we, you do that on bust on your platforms. Okay. The intention isn't to change lives and save it. The intention is to put something out there where people can feel safe. And if it resonates well. You know when that happens to me, you know, when that happens to me, it's not online. Ooh. When does it happen to you? My most profound moments are things that the world can't see. God sees it. I see it.

And that is my true work. Because I always say to people, we could all show up and be a show pony online. Look at me. I'm doing this. I said that. I've lifted people. I'm changing lives.

When no one else can see, how are we acting? And I could go to bed at night knowing that I did good. I know. And so when people tell me online oh you said this and this and and it saved my life and I'm like oh wow I'm honored I'm grateful but I know what I do offline that I don't speak about and I will never speak about that it actually has done that and and and to your point when you say you go you do speaking engagements and people say oh god I needed to hear that. I wing my talks, but when I am backstage, I say, God, give me the energy and the message to share what somebody needs to hear today. It doesn't need to be the whole room. If there's one person who walked out of this room and they received it, my job here is done.

And, and I, that's it. That that's why I don't remember what I said in the talk, because it's not necessarily just coming from me. Like it's it's being put it's being downloaded into me and I'm just going out there and I'm trusting I'm trusting my voice. So to go from being the kid who was told to be quiet and talk too much to being someone who's now encouraging people to open up their mouth and say what they need to say. That's that's, that's a, that's a full circle right there. Oh, is it? And this is a full circle moment for me to be able to sit here with you today. And I just want to say thank you so much for doing this for me. What, what is next for you? What's coming up that, that, that, you know, in your heart is the next steps. And I know, I mean, we've talked often about not often, but this

giving the voice to people. That's, that's, that's where you're headed. That's where you shine. Yeah. Um, so the next thing to come is slay the mic junior, um, slay the mic junior. It's time. It's time. Oh, I can't with, as a mother of three children, I want to hear more. Yeah. So when, you know, my background's in education, I taught for God forever. And let me tell you, when you see a kid on the playground running fast, like, Ooh, we, you should join the track team. You see a kid who's an artist. You say, wow, you should create a piece that we hang in our school hallway. But for some reason, when we come across that kid who can't stop talking, we tell them to shh, not now. There are so many children who are in our homes, in our classroom, in our community, who are the next president, prime minister, podcaster, news anchor, life changer, and they just don't know it yet. And so I don't want kids to wait until they're adults to recognize that they have a voice. I want them to recognize as early as five that this voice of theirs is their ultimate superpower. And even at the age of five, that they could do good.

And even when they're 16 and people tell them that they don't know much yet, they actually know quite a bit and they could also do good. I had a former student of mine uplift another student. And to witness that was powerful. She could have gone to some adult therapist, but peer to peer, you can't beat that. That child used her voice to speak life into another kid. That's the next thing to come. Oh, I cannot wait. I cannot wait. Parents, teachers, watch out. Oh, here she comes. Here she comes. Jam Gamble. So I'm going to put all the connections in the show note. Where's the best place for people to find you? Just find me on Instagram, y'all.

I don't mess with X and the TikTok is not my kind of time. I'm not doing that. So I'm just on Instagram. That's it. Listen, thank you. You are a phenomenal human being. I am. I'm so excited to watch where this takes you because I know that you're just getting started and, uh, I'm just such a huge super fan. So I, to sit with you today has been an honor that this community gets to now be a part

of yours. Uh, you're, you're just, you're just such a wealth of information. Um, and so thank you. Thank you for being you. And I'm so glad now that you're back on your feet. I can't wait to watch you dance into the world, Carla. Thank you, Jodi. Oh, you're welcome. You're welcome. And everybody, thank you for joining us today.

I hope you loved it as much as I did. And take care of each other. And in the meantime, I will meet you right back here next week if you're free. The Everyone Comes From Somewhere podcast is produced by the incredibly talented and handsome team at Snack Labs. Mr. Brian Seaver, Mr. Taylor McGilvery, and the infamous Jeremy Saunders. The soundtracks that you hear at the beginning of every episode were created by Donovan Morgan.

Our executive producer is Marty Piller. Our PR big shooters are Des Veneau and Barry Cohen. Our agent, my manager manager Jeff Lowness from the Talent Bureau and emotional support of course is provided by relatively speaking our children for the record I am a registered clinical psychologist in Alberta, Canada the content created and produced in this show is not intended as specific therapeutic advice.

The intention of this podcast is to provide information, resources, education, and maybe even a little bit of hope. I'm going to go. ready to lead with purpose, we can get you there. The University of Victoria's MBA in Sustainable Innovation is not like other MBA programs. It's for true changemakers who want to think differently and solve the world's most pressing challenges. From healthcare and the environment to energy, government, and technology, it's your path to meaningful leadership in all sectors. For details, visit uvic.ca slash future MBA. That's uvic.ca slash future MBA.