Unlonely with Dr. Jody Carrington - The only AI that really matters? Authentic Interaction - Jim Reid

Episode Date: April 10, 2025

In a world of rapid change, leadership isn’t just about innovation—it’s about connection. I had the absolute pleasure of sitting down with Jim Reid, a powerhouse leader who’s been in the trenches—literally. From military service to coaching top executives, he knows that the secret to high-performing teams (and lives) isn’t just strategy—it’s trust, intention, and energy management.Why do people leave companies? It’s almost NEVER the job—it’s the leader.How do we keep our best people? By making them feel seen, heard, and valued.Want to perform at your best? Manage your energy, not just your time.This conversation is packed with wisdom for ANYONE navigating leadership, burnout, and building great teams.Follow Jim:https://ca.linkedin.com/in/jimreidchro Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey there, it's Dr. Jodie Carrington here. You know, as a mom, I've seen firsthand how delicate our little one's skin can be. Did you know that a baby's skin is 30% thinner than ours? That makes it so important to protect and strengthen it right from the start. That's why I love Aveeno Baby's Healthy Start Balm. It's safe for day one use and uses the power of oats to moisturize, nourish, and comfort your baby's skin. Plus, its thick, enveloping texture mimics the natural moisturizing layer

that covers baby in the womb. Building a skincare routine early on not only protects your baby's skin, but also helps establish comforting habits that benefit the whole family. So if you're looking to support your baby's skin moisture barrier, check out Aveeno BabyDaily Healthy Start Balm.

Learn more at aveino.ca. At the beginning of every episode, there will always be time for an acknowledgement. You know, the more we do this, people ask, why do you have to do the acknowledgement and every episode? I got to tell you, I've never been more grateful for being able to raise my babies on the land where so much sacrifice was made. And I think what's really critical in this process is that the ask is just that we don't forget. So the importance of saying these words at the beginning of every episode will always

be of utmost importance to me and this team. So everything that we created here today for you happened on Treaty 7 land, which is now known as the center part of the province of Alberta. It is home of the Blackfoot Confederacy, which is made up of the Siksika, the Kainai, the Pikini, the Tatina First Nation, the Stony Nakoda First Nation, and the Métis Nation Region 3. Our job, our job as humans is to simply acknowledge each other. That's how we do better, be better, and stay connected to the good.

This next episode is for leaders. Today you get to sit with Jim Reid and I. Jim was the chief human resource officer at Rogers Communications for a decade. And during the COVID-19 crisis, he helped foster a culture of resilience and high performance for 25,000 people in a workforce. This guy comes with so much pedigree. It was so cool to sit with him. One of the oxygen, what you'll hear in this episode is, you know, one of the things that stood out for me as the oxygen for high performance is trust. And so I have some big questions for Jim about how we garner trust in this very disconnected world when we're doing so many things in different places of this planet. And he had the answers and

I hope you love it as much as I did. The biggest takeaway for me is so much about moving forward is about energy management. Recovery has to happen, rest has to happen. I love that he ends with this in this talk. I hope you listen to it all the way through and I want to hear what you think because it's pretty awesome. Holy smokes. Friends, welcome back. Welcome in. I am so grateful to have you back in this Unlonely Space as we're trying to reconnect in this place. I have such a remarkable human today.

You know in this world of business and development, particularly as a woman, my quest has been who are the people that can mentor, that can write ships when they feel like, you know in this really quickly changing world, what do we do about this? And I met this woman named Patti Levitt-Reed who you'll see on another episode who really lit my soul on fire with her tenacity and her fierce approach to everything. What I've known to be true in doing this work is that you're only as good as the people who hold you. And when I knew a little bit more about Patti, she introduced me to somebody that she's been married to for

a very long time and she said if you want to know the heartbeat of understanding how to keep organizations together, you really need to hang out with my husband. And so we are lucky enough today, friends, to sit with Jim Reed. And Jim, like a former military pilot, this guy has served overseas. He is the chief human resource officers for three different companies, been person of the year for thousands of things. I mean, this is sort of like blow it up a little bit, Jim, like I don't really play small, but basically you're Canada's best answer to everything.

Welcome, welcome to the MOU podcast. Well, listen, I have to thank you, Jodie, for having me here. And also, Patty, just let it slip. Hey, by the way, I sent your bio to Jody. And so you might get a call from her or Marty. I said, oh, OK. So anyway, it's great to be here. It's great to be here. Thank you for taking the time.

I know you just, you're a traveling guy. You spend a lot of time now. So take me back to the beginning. I have a big love for military first responders in this country, in North America. I want to understand where, at what point, did you understand the human relationship as the key to most successes? Because you talk about this in your book. You've talked about this, I think, in every successful company that you continue to consult with.

What is the key to that, if you could distill it for me? What have you learned over this incredible career? It all started with me when I joined the military. As you mentioned, I was a military pilot, an officer in the Canadian military for 10 years. And being there really reset my values. Like they kind of take you apart and put you back together again. And, you know, I learned a lot about discipline and service to other service to your country. But what I noticed was how different

high ranking officers built or didn't build followership in the people they let. And I think this was the start of my curiosity around what is it that makes a leader gray, what makes a leader not so great. And I saw this, I saw some of these, you know, colonels and generals who the people that they led would do anything for. And I saw others who they just, if they had a, others who, if they're in a car and the person stepped in front of the truck, look out, right? That they just didn't respect them, and they wouldn't do anything for them.

And they were very unhappy being led with that. And that was, for me, the start of this journey that I've been on now for decades about what does great look like in terms of leadership in life and leadership in life and leadership in work and in all aspects of what you want to accomplish over your lifetime. So that's kind of where it all began. Yeah, that curiosity.

I really love that, you know, and so when you're thinking about being early in your career, I think that is so critical these days about like, how are you being curious about what is a fit for you and what you notice? Because people do this exceptionally well. People have done this exceptionally well. And so what are some of the things, I mean, the non-negotiables that sort of have stuck with you? I mean, if I take you back to that kid in the military being very green, trying to be like, ah, how come this guy's knocking it out of the park and this one people want to

punch in the face? You know? What did that kid know? You know, I think that there's so many organizations and the military would be, would be no different in some ways. You know, it's a very different culture, of course, right? A different mission. But one of the things you hear, and I'm struck by how things have changed in a post-COVID

world, but one of the things that organizations want is they want the people who work for them to care about them. And one of the things that I've learned along the way is that people will never care about the organization they're part of unless the leaders care about that. And I think that's one of the things that to me differentiates, you know, the very best from the very average that they very average. And they're not faking it. They deeply care about the people that they have accountability and responsibility for. They deeply care about the people that they lead. And they know things about them. They know about their family, their history, their children, because they care. And one

of the things that I see in the post-COVID world today is what differentiated, I think, leaders in COVID was, you know, people who had more empathy. And I think that's stuck, you know. And so some of the leaders that I'm working with today are struggling with, geez, I was on a roll before, I'm struggling now. People that I'm leading are having different demands. But I think it's just, this is the moment when people expect to be led by people who care about them and have empathy for them in their lives and want to get the best out

of them. Right. And I think to your point, I think it's interesting because not only do we want that, we need that. And, you know, if we take it back to that relationship piece, like we're neurophysiologically wired for connection. We will not, you disconnect from an infant, they die. And so this idea of like, it's not just sort of nice to do this, right? Like it doesn't make you a good guy if you care about your people. It actually, from a neurophysiological perspective, allows you to access people's potential. Yeah, exactly. Do you see that to be true?

I believe it 100%. And I think, you know, one of the things that we did in one of the organizations I was part of, I hired this, you know, PhD in analytics from Google. And we did this employee survey and, you survey and the research out there from Gallup around the general population in North America's level of engagement at work is low. I think it's like 25 or 30% of people are fully engaged at work doing meaningful work. And I thought to myself, what is going on here? And so anyway, what we did, we did this, you know, like all organizations do an employee

survey and this PhD in analytics, analyze the results. And he determined, you know, he just analyzed, you know, simple analytics. What are the drivers of engagement for people? And the number one driver of engagement was personal growth and development. I think about it. It's just so simple. So you can teach leaders how to develop people and really help people be excellent in the role that they're in, because that becomes the spring board for them in terms of their longer-term career success. But you can teach people how to develop people. You can teach leaders how to build teams, build great teams. And I think that there's just, in some ways, helping people

be the best they can be and realize their aspirations isn't complicated. It's just that most organizations don't do it. They don't teach their leaders how to do it. And so that's just one of the things for me that I've been very interested in. You know, like what makes people tick, how do you help them excel, how do you help them be... You know, all these kinds of things, Jodie, that you're so aware of. Well, and in this current status, like how do you think this has affected... I mean, if you even look at this world of leadership over the last 10 years, our access to each other. So, you know, as a grandfather, I'll tell you this, two generations ago we looked at our children 72% more at the time than we look at our babies today.

And if we can sort of agree or the data would suggest that you need to show people how to do it, you can't tell them, right? How has this affected, I mean, if you think about even the hybrid models, let alone the global necessity or accessibility now to do interviews like this. Like, I mean, my wish is I was in Toronto. I wish is we could be in the same place. I know we would have a better interview.

Convincing leaders of that has been an interesting game for me around no efficiency effectiveness, you know, look how much quicker we can get things done. Is there a cost to developing organizations, moving organizations forward in this very digital world? What do you see in that? And I'll just tell you, my biggest fear is the paucity of leadership development because there's nobody in your physical presence, Jim Reid, to watch you navigate firing somebody, hiring somebody, having somebody throw back the DEI policies in your face and you'd be like, mm-hmm, okay, come on back

to me. Like in your presence, I feel like I want to relax. You can't necessarily tell somebody, huh? So yeah, what have you noticed? What are you worried about? I think that, you know, it's an and, not an or, right? I think many organizations are focused on what you just described, which is let's just have a meeting, let's get on a Teams call or a Google call or what have you, and get

the work done. But that's not how human connections get built. It has to be built in person. So it's not a question of should you always be in person or should you always be remote. It's not an either or it's an and. Both need to happen. And I think when I spent a lot of time studying how people work together in terms of teams and team effectiveness and high performance. And for me, the foundation for high performance,

almost the oxygen for high performance, is trust. And teaching leaders how to build trust, how to create a safe and trusting environment for people to not be afraid to ask for help, but they need help, to be willing to, afraid to ask for help, but they need help to be willing to when somebody asks for help to step into the situation and offer help, you know, to get to know one another. Like I think the foundation for high performance in life, a high performing marriage, a high performing family, a high, however you want to describe

it, high performing team, high performing company, it's gotta be, to me the oxygen for that is trust, which relates to human behavior and the basic human connections. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Tell me more about trust. How would you define it? How do you work with your leaders, your coaching clients to sort of build that? Because people say that a lot.

I want somebody to trust me. Okay, great. You can't tell them to trust you. You got to show it. So what are some of those things, you know, that we sort of get people to sort of think about in this space? I think as a leader, you know, one of the things we talk about with leaders around building great teams and trust being the foundation of a high performing team is what is trust,

you know? And, you know, trust to me flows from positive intention. So if you and I are working together, Jody, right? I trust you, because I know that your intention around your relationship with me is positive, that you're here to do great work and to have my back, right? And as a result of that, you know, I trust you. And one of the things that we spend a lot of time with leaders on is, you know, there's this continuum around trust. Like, do you start with trust?

Or are you the kind of person that says, I'll trust you after you prove it to me a hundred times? You have to earn it, right? You have to earn it, right? You have to earn it. Yes. Right? And so I'm the kind of person that starts with trust. I'll trust you if you demonstrate positive intention

until you don't. So trust is all about, for me, in simple terms, in simple business contexts. And I know there's so much more to it. And you would know this as a clinical psychologist. but you know, how do you keep it simple for people? It really flows from positive attention. It's really about behavior around positive attention.

And I, the second part of a trusting environment is often referred to, you know, out there today around psychological safety. And I think that's about setting the conditions where people feel safe and aren't going to face any retribution for what they say, what they do, if they've winner, if they fail, right. And they just feel like they can be who they are and show up the way that they are and who they are and be accepted for that. So I think we try to teach leaders to how to do both, you both. How to understand trust, how to build trust quickly with others, how to help others build trust with each other, and then create an environment around psychological safety so that the right kind of decisions and debates can be had around making great business decisions.

I love that. So, if I were to sort of summarize that sense in my head, just to be clear, so number one for me, that sort of that positive intention says to me that it really isn't about who you're leading. It is about really doing that internal work, if you will, which people just really love when we talk about internal work, but I try not to get too woo-woo, because I don't like the woo-woo shit either, but I like the idea of being very reflective on why you want to lead this company.

So many of us, I think, are like, you know, and understandably so, driven by money, driven by power, driven by titles. Cool. That's, you're allowed to do all those things. Can you also then internally reflect and be still, which is, I think, increasingly more difficult to find space for that in this very busy, noisy, dinging, dinging, notifications, notifications, you know, just really sitting as a leader, either with your team or internally and going,

okay, what's my intention here? Do I have, do I give a rip about these people? Or am I just so burnt out that the futility is taken over? Like, what's the fucking point? You're leaving at three, me too, you know? Which I understand, so many of us get there. So what's the fucking point? You're leaving at three, me too. You know? Which I understand so many of us get there. So that's the first sort of point that you're saying.

And then the second thing I really love is around this conversation of psychological safety. And if I could just clarify a little bit around that, because I think it's a buzzword that a lot of people want to talk about. You know, they even ask me, can you come into my organization and talk about psychological safety? Define it a little bit more for me from your perspective and why is it so important? Hey there, it's Dr. Jodie Carrington here.

You know, as a mom, I've seen firsthand how delicate our little one's skin can be. Did you know that a baby's skin is 30% thinner than ours? That makes it so important to protect and strengthen it right from the start. That's why I love Aveeno Baby's Healthy Start Palm. It's safe for day one use and uses the power of oats to moisturize, nourish, and comfort your baby skin. Plus, its thick and velvety texture mimics the natural moisturizing layer that covers baby in the womb. Building a skincare routine early on not only protects your baby's skin but also helps establish comforting habits that benefit the whole family. So if you're looking to support your baby's skin, but also helps establish comforting habits that benefit the whole family.

So if you're looking to support your baby's skin moisture barrier, check out Aveeno BabyDaily Healthy Start Balm. Learn more at aveeno.ca. You might not have the International Day of Happiness marked on your calendar, but it's a pretty big deal for those of us who study the science of happiness. International Day of Happiness marked on your calendar, but it's a pretty big deal for those of us who study the science of happiness. International Day of Happiness also marks the release of the World Happiness Report. I'm Dr. Lari Santos, and on my podcast,

The Happiness Lab, I'll be bringing you the latest data on why eating alone might be worse for you than you think. And I'll also be asking if we're becoming less trusting and what that means for our well-being. Listen to the Happiness Lab wherever you get your podcasts. I think, for me, it's about, I'm just trying to keep it simple, right, for people and not, you know, make it too complicated. I find most people can't deal with complex, right? They have enough complexity in their life, as you said, all around them. It's about setting the conditions for people to be, to show up on who they are, to be able to fully contribute without fear of any retribution. It's all about a safe environment for people, where everybody can contribute. Whether you agree with the strategy, you disagree with the strategy, you know that there's intention, good positive intention,

everybody wants to get the team to the right place or the outcome to the right place, but you have the opportunity to fully contribute based on who you are and how you see the world without any fear of being criticized for. So you just feel safe. You feel safe. Exactly.

And so safety is sort of the fundamental understanding of trauma. When I am unsafe in my own body, I lose access to the best parts of myself. And so I really love this concept in business so much because it is so much about if you can create that on your team, that sense of while you're working for me, even if there's lots of shit going on in your life, while you're working for me, this is a safe relationship. And I often refer to this statement, which I see so often, what you permit, you promote. And so when we're trying to create safety, if racist jokes are okay every once in a while

because you're trying to build the culture, or if it's under the guise of like, yeah, you know, women. The intention I think sometimes is to sort of build it together. But I love this sort of conversation right now of like what you permit, you promote. Be very conscious of that. Yeah, yeah. Love that. Because people are watching.

Yeah? Exactly. And you know, these things apply in all your relationships. If you're leading a team in a business context, they apply if you're building a friendship, they apply if you're in a relationship with your spouse, they apply. Yeah, you know what I mean? And so part of part of the work that I do is around helping people get clarity on three things, you know, what their personal, their personal values and life's purposes, You know, think about that as your foundation for success. Second is, what are your deep strengths? And what are you passionate about? And I, you know, I try to show people that once you get clarity on deep strengths and passion, that is your best path

for success. It's all about focus and impact. And you know, in the world, in the world that we're in, It's all about focus and impact. And in the world that we're in, we can excel at some things, but not at everything. And it's a discovery process. So you look to your successes and you come up with, what are you differentiated around? Deep strengths, passion, right? What do you love to do? And the last one is the right people in your life. And how do you make sure that you have the right people in your life and also that you have the wrong people out

of your life? And this is a huge issue, right? For a lot of people, you know, where when you get the right people around you who have your back, who support you, who have positive intention, this is, I'm talking about, you know, any kind of relationship, your spouse, your family, your friends, your work, great things can happen because you feel like you have, you have people with you. So I think, I think off the bus, right people in your life, right people off the bus, like that's a really great, it's a really great, it's a really, it's a principle that works. Yeah.

And I, for sure, and I would agree with you. I mean, I've said this quite often, you know, whether I'm talking to teachers or military personnel or farmers, the slide deck doesn't change. And when we're talking about being a good leader, we're talking about being a good human. And I heard this data, so I was with this big company in Chicago a couple of weeks ago, and the chief human resource dude introduced this data and he's like, listen, okay, did you know that in our recent survey, 30% of all people said, and it wasn't in their company, this was like Gallup or Forbes or something like that, you know, where people were like, they would take

losing a pay raise over firing their boss if they had the option. So 30% of all people were like, oh God, I really, and I think it's so true, I think I've heard you say this before, right? You don't quit a business, you quit a leader. Yes, exactly. And it's like, you know, that relationship piece that, you know, as you say, that the right people in your life, what happens if you find yourself in a position where you are in a company working for somebody where those values

don't align, where it feels you're feeling really unseen in this process. You know, how do we start to sort of approach cultures like that in this very disconnected world? What have you noticed? I think one of the benefits of having clarity on your own values, right, is not only does it help you, not only does it drive your behavior, but the deeper you're committed to your values, the more authentic and consistent you'll show. Right? I mean, I think that's what I'm trying to culture around.

But I think, I think when there's a values and this alignment, I'd be interested to get your perspective on this to Jody, but my sense, these are, these are tough things to fix. Right? Jodi, but my sense these are these are tough things to fix, right? Yeah. Like if you're working for someone who is a bully, and who in many of their interactions with you create fear, create a climate of fear, the opposite of what we were talking about before, doesn't support you, doesn't care for you, just uses bullying behavior to intimidate. And I've coached a number of people who are in those situations and my advice to them is think about it, but it's going to be very, it's unlikely that you're going to change this person's behavior.

And so your only option may be to go find another opportunity for you where the values alignment is better and where your values buttons aren't being pushed every single day when you show up to work. And you wake up in the morning, you have that sick feeling in your stomach, right? I have to go through another day of being treated like this. So I think values, misalignment or values like this kind of stuff is very difficult to deal with and almost always requires an exit. Get out of there, right? Go like always change a losing game. Get yourself to a better place, a place where you can be successful and feel successful

and do meaningful work. AMT – Where it's a good fit. And just a quick question I have, and this is like my own personal, I'm fascinated, you know, in the last little bit of a few companies, even in this switch in the United States right now, a lot of major companies are stepping away from their DEI policies. There's a couple of, you know, as a human resources expert, the intention when we say around psychological safety is we just want to help people feel seen. And so you need to be safe to show up whoever you are, however you are.

And I'm fascinated in watching these companies sort of have conversations around, are we hiring the right people? Why do we have to cancel these policies in a way? Like I'm just blown away at the optics. Like what in the name of all that is holy are you thinking in a time where you have to, you know, create that sense of psychological safety, but we're going to step away from this? Like I'm so interested in, you know, why do you think that's happening now?

Who didn't have a conversation around the verbiage? Like, what? Anyway, give me your thoughts. I've always felt that, you know, companies, if you think about, first of all, companies with the best leaders, the best talent, the strongest culture, in a positive context, right, will, or in the long run, will win, I think, you know, and be successful with their customers, etc. Right. So, and I think the value chain on this is simple, right. And it's been proven time and time again. It's great leaders create great employee experience. That leads to a great customer experience.

And that leads to strong financial outcomes. That's what works. So most companies that I've certainly that I've worked in or that I work with today, what they want is to have their workforce mirror the population that they serve. Mm-hmm. And I think in general, that's what they try to do

through their people practices. I don't understand all this stuff in the news today about organizations walking away from the AI. And I mean, I mean, you would, you would have a better insight on on this. But you know, my, my sense is, you know, the pendulum may be swung a little too far in terms of what creates organizational success and, but to swing it back the other way to say, let's get rid of it entirely, I don't get it. The knee-jerk reaction.

I just don't get it. For sure. And I think it's like, we're in this such quickly changing world where like influencers who gather some data have the capacity to allow people to sort of switch. So I mean, Boeing, I think, Robbie Starbuck is a guy who started coming out against certain safety procedures, right? And tied it back to like, you hired the wrong people because you were based on your DEI.

The data was not strong in that way, but the company responded quickly in an effort to sort of... And I just think like, how? There's like really smart people in many of these places. What are you doing? And then so many other people sort of following suit. And I understand the importance of hiring the right people. The optics of that to a employee base that would then hear things like, you know, we're going to just step back on these policies because we're here to hire for the right positions, not be very clear

in making, you know... What I interpret that as is that it's no longer super safe around here. Man, that's going to affect your bottom line quicker, Heath. I think so too. And I think people see through this. I really think people see through it. I think that most people... It's just kind of grounded in in, in respect, right. And like, all you have to do is travel around the world.

And see this all the incredible people that are out there in terms of, you know, different, different colors of skin, different gender, different of skin, different gender, different nationalities, different religions, right? And they all have incredibly talented people. And so if you wanna build a great organization, why wouldn't you tap into all these incredibly talented people?

Like I just- Their perspectives, yep. Yeah, and their perspectives and what they bring. So I think I've been lucky to travel the world. I spent quite a bit of time in China when I was working for a manufacturing company. Patty and I are just back from India. We've been, I don't know how many countries we've visited, but- It's phenomenal.

It's a very rich mosaic of talent capability out there. And if you just fundamentally believe in goodness of people, I don't understand kind of this moment that we're in right now. I'm hoping that things center and settle. Yeah, they have to. But under now, the leadership change in the United States, I think we're going to see a lot of shoulders up and reactive responses. What I've said to many leaders, and I'm interested in your take on this too, is that even if

you're stuck in organizations where it feels like there's a value misalignment, but you have the capacity to stay connected to your team. Sometimes if we wait for big governmental shifts or insights around the world, or even the CEO to sort of get it right, we're not that good. So who do you have direct influence over in that day? If you truly believe that everybody has the right to be seen, your team is going to blow up in that respective company. So don't underestimate your capacity to switch the culture that you are most responsible

for in that moment, right? Because I think sometimes it debilitates us when we're starting, like, oh my God, they've crashed these DEI policies. How can I work for a company like this? I sometimes, like, that's the biggest motivation for me sometimes where I'm like, how can I? I'll tell you, I'll show you. I'm going to work from the inside out. I'm going to show you that I have the most diverse team who is the most effective.

Now watch me, tell me how that aligns with what we've just decided as a company. What's your take on that in working in organizations where we don't maybe necessarily have the capacity to leave or the desire to sort of like, okay, can you still be effective in some of those ways, do you think? Yeah, I 100% do. One of the things that, one of the great experience in my life was when I became, I moved from the military into operations, ran a business, and then later mid-career moved into HR.

And when I got moved into HR, the company sent me to Stanford to do this program on organizational change. And when I was there, the person running the program was a guy by the name of Jim Collins, who wrote Good to Great. Oh my gosh. And then How the Mighty Fall and Great by Choice, and he's working on his newest research now. So I've had the chance to get to know him and to learn from him and to, I would say,

be involved in all of his research projects in a small way. But it's by doing that, it changed the way that I think about, you know, my performance. And so, you know, for one of the things that that I would observe, which you just talked about is that as a leader, you have to focus on what you can control. And if you think of an organization as a thousand teams, you know, you have to build excellence on your team. Doesn't matter. I get this a lot from people that I'm working with on the coaching to say, well, the CEO

of the company doesn't model this behavior. Why should I? Well, if you believe in it, why should you not? And why wouldn't you in the area where, as you said, control, which is your team, the experience for your team, the kind of culture you create on that team, just build the best team in the company. And companies change.

The team is the performance unit and cultures change one team at a time. So if more leaders focused on, let's just build excellence on this great group of people that I'm leading and its team, then over, if everybody does, when everybody does that, then the organization collectively gets stronger. But you can't, you can't not do something that's right because others aren't doing it. Oh, that's such a good point. And you know, can I just tell you this thing that I learned two weeks ago? This indigenous leader up in the Yukon taught me this, and I just, it is, I can't stop thinking about it. She said, the most important people you work for

thinking about it. She said, the most important people you work for are the ones you go home to. And it stopped me in my tracks. And I just, I'm so amazed at how you and Patty have built such a beautiful relationship, are so connected to your kids, you're so remarkably successful, the both of you. How important has that grounding in a family system, in this very sort of glamorized world of hustle, be more effective, go, you know, don't get home till midnight, you're up at six, you're writing 87,000 books, like tell me how you've done this and kept that the solid piece, how important is it? Speak to me about this in this, you know, because I think it's becoming so much harder to stay connected to the people

that we work for the most. Yeah, I think so. And I think, look, I first of all, I think, you know, if you go back to the right, the right people on your bus, right, like, you know, there's no more important principle in our lives, right? And so the decision that I was so fortunate when I met Patty, right? And I knew right away that, you know, yeah, like, like, I just thought to myself, Oh my God, like, how can I build a life with this amazing woman? And when we was a second marriage for us, when we brought our each had two children, they were quite young, our youngest were just turned four. Mine were four and six, four and eight. Hers were four and six. And when we got married,

we realized very quickly that if the children didn't get along, it would be difficult. Right? So we took some of the built to last good to great principles. Like I was working with Jim Collins at the time. And I said, look, we need a set of core values. Yeah, we need a set of core values. It sounds so corny, you know, for our family. But it's how your brain thinks, like, and I think it's okay. Like it's necessary. Like I just thought that some of the stuff that I was seeing in this research, Jim Collins was all about in his first, his three big research projects was what does, if you're a good company or a good institution today, can you be great and if

so how, right? Yep, yep. What I was attracted to in the research was how do you use these principles at an individual, at a family, and if they work in business, why wouldn't they work in a family? So, Patty was quite intrigued by it. And we did. We did a few things like that. Like we created a set of core family values and plastered them on the fridge and quizzed the kids about them. And another thing we did, which came from Jim Collins too, was we had this, we instituted this thing called a family conference and that anyone

in the family, including the children, they were young at the time, could call a family conference and if they did, they chaired the meeting and they were trying to solve the problem. So we had these kids who were young just saying, hey, you know, I would like to call a family conference on Sunday. I said, okay, great. What time? Four o'clock. I said, great. Okay. You're leading it. Are you, when we get together, you're in charge and you have to explain what's going on. So we introduced a set of mechanisms, you know, that drove the family. We didn't know what would happen, but what we knew is it would create behavior change. And what it did is it drove the family closer together.

Our children today don't call themselves, they call each other brother and sister. Even though they're technically stepbrothers and stepsisters. You can create that environment for people, right? And that's what Patty and I tried to do. We start each day and end each day together, talk about our lives, what? And that's what Patty and I tried to do. And, you know, we start each day and end each day together, talk about our lives, what we're doing, what we're up to. And I mean, I just, I feel blessed, you know, to have a partner, you know, that's cheering me on

and I can cheer her on. And, you know, it's in some ways, yeah, you just have to, it's not complicated. It's hard to do. You have to grow together, but you just have to commit to some things and have some discipline around it. I love that.

It's not complicated, but it's hard to do. And I think that's the truth of it, right? Is that like, you know, so many people are like, what's the secret? How do you do it? And it's true. It's not complicated. I mean, in leadership or in life, it's not complicated. But holy mother, it's true. It's not complicated. I mean, in leadership or in life, it's not complicated. But holy mother, it's hard when you have two sets of families trying to come together,

when you have two very different parenting perspectives, when you have in-laws, when you now have as a leader so many... Not a leader, like an employee, period. So many people have so much access to us in this season. And I think, you know, my husband and I, you know, trying to build, you know, my company, his work, like admiring both of each other and this really big switch in, I think, gender roles has been just such a remarkable, almost marriage-ending experience because there is a rewriting of so many of those things that are happening.

I mean, what do you see in your coaching clients now? The weight of the world, I think, has changed significantly. Yeah, I think so too. I think, you know, you mentioned, you know, once before I heard you talking about burnout and things like that. And I find there's a lot of exhaustion out there right now in top level executives, like big performance pressures, the market's soft, people are worried about

are they gonna be able to deliver, is their team strong enough to execute on things? So lots of conversations about right people, right seats, strong team, et cetera. I also find when people are exhausted, sometimes it's, you know, I go back to the first principles, which is, you know, play to your strengths and your passion. And if you, if you, if you're lucky enough to have clarity on that, then this notion

that you never have to work a day in your life. If you love what you do, like I see people burning out when they're in roles that don't play to their strengths. On the one hand, I also see people under a lot of pressure and feeling quote burned out or exhausted because they may be on the wrong bus, in terms of the leader that they're working for. It's just too difficult, right?

There's a values misalignment or what have you. But in general, when the conditions when you have clarity, and you're playing to your strengths, and you're working with people that you like and respect, you can pretty much weather any storm. Yeah, yeah. Right. And so anyway, that's kind of what I'm seeing. But I do feel that there's a lot going on today. And it's a different, it's a very complicated world with social media and all this kind of stuff and the hybrid work context and structure. But it's centering, I think. Most leaders are trying to find a balance

between having people spend time together to deepen relationships and then leveraging the efficiency through hybrid work relations, through mobile calls, et cetera. And so it's really leader dependent, right? And how open are they to experiment with what works for the team? Love that. Leader dependent. And I think that's such a critical piece.

Like I think, you know, sometimes we get fearful of change and AI and chat GBT and all of those things, right? And so like we, particularly in military perspectives or policing organizations, right? It's like this is the way it's always been done. And Grace Murray Hopper, she was one of the first female admirals in the US Navy. She said one of the dangerous, one of the most dangerous phrases in the human language is it's always been done this way. And I love that because we start to panic when the world feels a bit unsafe.

And so we get very back to the way feels a bit unsafe, and so we get very back to the way that it used to be. We need to get everybody back in office. We need to get, I mean, Trump, for example. Anyway, it's the idea of like, let's get back to the way we know to be true. And the issue is technological advances aren't the problem, right? In fact, they can make you so efficient and effective. And if you don't understand chat GBT now as a leader, you're screwed.

If you don't get the implementation of AI, then you will fall behind in your company, I think. But we have to talk about around here that the only AI that's really going to matter at the end of the day is authentic interaction. And you can get really sexy around all of the things and you should be innovative and creative. But you won't have access to any of those things if you should be innovative and creative but you won't have access to any of those things if you feel like this and your shoulders are up and you don't feel any trust to your point in your respective

organization. You could be the smartest fella on the planet you can have the best CV the best resume but if I don't have access to that huh we're in trouble. Yeah 100% agree 100% agree and know, the other the only other thing, Jody, that I see on my coaching practice today is it you know, what when people are trying to drive to peak performance, they're there. To me, it's all about energy management. And people are trying it's not just you know, time, you know, being a good time manager gets you to good, being a great energy manager gets you to great. And there's this notion around, you know, life is a marathon, you have to pace yourself.

And what I see the top performers do is they think that, you know, life is a series of sprints followed by recovery. But the recovery has to happen, right? You have to be able to recharge. And so this whole notion around energy management is one of the things and the effectiveness of how you manage your energy. So your energy is your your tank is fill is full when you need it to be full. So when you're being asked to call in to deliver at your peak performance, you can't have your

gas tank at one eighth full. You have to be recharged, right? And we're responsible for that. So I see that too. We're responsible for that, right? And that's a whole series. This is one of the things that Patty's amazing at, which she's so disciplined around health, wellness, what she eats or sleep.

And these are all the basic things that you need to have if you want to really go after a big impact. Yeah. Gosh, I love that. I do think that's going to be the greatest investment of any leadership training is really a conversation around energy management. Because talent acquisition is not the hard part. It's keeping them there.

And if you put a high priority on this energy management piece, which is really the basics that we all know to be true, right? When we get back to that, right, it's not complicated, but it's hard to do, right? Aw, Jim Reed. Yeah. You're a friggin' gem. Patty was right. Good job, Patty.

Jody, it's so nice. Well, listen, it's so great to be here with you today and talking about these things, right? And hopefully there's some tidbits for people. And I really admire what you're doing, right? Helping people unpack, find insight for themselves, right? And then have the courage to try it, you know, and see if it works better for them. You know, it's great.

Oh, I love it. I love it. Thank you so much. if it works better for them. You know, it's great. Oh, I love it. I love it. Thank you so much. We're gonna put the link to your book in the show notes and everywhere that people can find you. You know, you're this most phenomenal coach. And so thank you.

Thank you for your time, your energy. And I just, I can't wait to follow the journey of Jim and Patty Reed because I wanna be just like you. Okay. Thank you for being here. Everybody, I want to be just like you. Okay. Thank you for being here. Everybody, I want you to take care of yourself, take care of each other, and I can't wait for you to be right back here again in a couple of weeks. Unlonely podcast is produced by three incredible humans, Brian Siever, Taylor McGilvery, and Jeremy Saunders, all of Snack Lab Productions.

Our executive producer, my favorite human on this planet, is Marty Piller. Soundtracks were created by Donovan Morgan, Unlonely branded artwork created by Donovan Morgan, Unlonely Branded Artwork created by Elliot Cuss, our big PR shooters are Des Venot and Barry Cohen. Our digital marketing manager is the amazing Shana Haddon. Our 007 secret agent from the talent bureau is Jeff Lowness. and emotional support is provided by Asher Grant, Evan Grant, and Olivia Grant. Go live. I am a registered clinical psychologist in Alberta, Canada. The content created and produced in this show is not intended as specific therapeutic advice. The intention of this podcast is to provide information, resources, education, and the

one thing I think we all need the most, a safe place to land in this lonely world. We're all soodie Carrington here. You know, as a mom, I've seen firsthand how delicate our little one's skin can be. Did you know that a baby's skin is 30% thinner than ours? That makes it so important to protect and strengthen it right from the start. That's why I love Aveeno Baby's Healthy Start Palm. It's safe for day one use and uses the power of oats to moisturize, nourish,

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