Unseen - The Denver Ex-Lover Tattoo Murders | The Case of Ashley Ferris | UNSEEN
Episode Date: August 14, 2025"I wasn't gonna let him win" It’s December 27th, 2021, and young police officer Ashley Ferris reluctantly accepts an overtime shift— not knowing that this decision will change her life forever. T...hat night, a supposed "Alpha" male & manosphere podcaster known as Lyndon McLeod begins his terrifying revenge spree in downtown Denver, acting out his murderous hit list hidden in the pages of his novel, "Sanction". In the dark winter night, no one knows where he will strike next, nor how to stop his rampage...Unless Ashley, who feels she has nothing to lose, can find the dangerous gunman and put a stop to his reign of terror, at any cost. Ashley’s non-profit, A Fighting Chance: https://www.afightingchanceltd.com/ Alicia Cardenas: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-for-Cardenas-family?utm_campaign=p_cp+share-sheet&utm_medium=copy_link_all&utm_source=customer Jimmy Maldonado: https://www.gofundme.com/f/support-soltribe-shooting-survivor-in-healing-transition?fbclid=PAZXh0bgNhZW0CMTEAAafT-nKZoA1aY47kWcgLKB2ZbvIk8tWD4FmWIBbqKeH4uBYLqm3qgB0KU2Yenw_aem_vJpcz97L05EMAehJnLxmVg Sarah Steck: https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-sarahs-family-with-this-tragedy Danny Scofield: https://www.gofundme.com/f/danny-dano-blair-scofield?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unknown&utm_campaign=comms_drx8+danny-dano-blair-scofield Ashley Ferris https://www.gofundme.com/f/qfugzz-help-our-friends-recovery?utm_medium=referral&utm_source=unknown&utm_campaign=comms_drx8+qfugzz-help-our-friends-recovery Alyssa: https://www.groundingdown.com/alyssa-gunn-maldonado-fund Credits: Written, directed & edited by Alexandre Gendron Researched by Manon Lafosse Voiceover by William Akana Produced by Alexandra Salois & Salim Sader Sources: “Control, Alt, Delete”. Deadly Influence: The Social Media Murders: Warner Bros Discovery Inc. 2023. (Talos Films / Investigation Discovery) Podcasts: “Behind the Badge: A Story of Hope with Ashley Ferris”. From Survivor to Thriver: Erik Da Rosa and Marc Fernandes, 2023. “Stay in the fight”. The muster room: Eric Potts and Austin Glickman / Joseph Ryder, 2023. “Courage, Hope and Resilience” The Danny and Park Novels Good News Podcast, 2024. “Denver's Tumultuous Tattoo History, In Alicia Cardenas's Own Words”. City Cast Denver, 2025. “Alicia Cardenas, Denver, CO Full Length” The Nature Of Refuge. 2018. Denver 7 - ABC Fox 31 9News CBS Colorado KCAL News CBS News DW News CBS Miami NBC News BBC ABC News HLN Inside Edition ABC 7 BBC 3 Scripps News CNN Sky News ABC News in depth NBC New-York KGTV Others (YouTube. Podcasts, TV & Articles) The Glitch Global The M Pod The LiverKing How To Beast talks Real Talk with Zuby - boogiebutters Logocentrifugal 74 Thiccoq Productions Alpha Intellect Warhorse, Lyndon McLeod, 2021 Andrew Tate's Best Quotes, KingTok, 2022 Masculinity Motivational Advice, The Glitch Global, 2024 The Disturbing Downfall Of The Liver King, Kavos, 2025 FreshAndFit's Double Standards For Women, Annamarie Forcino, 2021 Andrew Tate vs Piers Morgan, Piers Morgan Uncensored, 2022 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
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I believe that men and women are not created equal.
We don't negotiate with terrorists.
And that's how a lot of women are as a f***ing terrorists.
You don't sit there and negotiate with them.
It's called the Alpha Male movement.
The true Alpha Male.
Alpha. Alpha male's influencer as they call themselves.
Boom in her face.
But shut up, B.
Experts warn the trend is now impacting young men.
It's deeply entangled in a web of ideologies known as the Red Pill,
and even more disturbing, the Black Pill communities.
With Black Pill, by the way,
It is supposed to be one step beyond the red pill.
The suspect has been arrested after reportedly assaulting multiple women in the street,
claiming he had taken the black pill.
The black pill cult, a worldview built on hopelessness, rage, and a deep hatred toward women,
starts to spread online.
The monster who mowed down 25 pedestrians in Toronto is being hailed in the dark corners of the internet as a hero.
It's believed he carried out the attack to exact revenge on women for rejecting him.
But one influencer doesn't just join.
the cult, he becomes its face.
And now I have a new trial.
They have shown some three loyalty for me.
He isn't just gaining followers.
He is raising an army.
I'm a real true believer in the Black Bill.
And on December 27th, 2021, he goes on a killing spree through the city of Denver.
But one woman stands in his way.
She's the only one who can stop this cult and put an end to his reign of terror before he hurts anyone else ever again.
I was going to take my own life and he decided to shoot me instead of that.
I wasn't going to let him win.
I discovered also kind of what I was and my role.
I think it's time for us to expand our idea of masculinity
to include the shaman and the Sigma
and the Red Pill universe of the Alpha and Beta
and especially the Incel.
Incel, short for involuntary celibate,
becomes a buzzword around 2015.
It describes men who resent women and blame them for their own romantic and social frustrations.
Over time, Insel turned into more of a meme, but alongside that, a new idea started gaining traction, the red pill.
Going even further than Incells, the red pill proposes that society is literally rigged against men.
I have not interacted with a female in over three years.
They score very poorly on mental health measures, so extreme levels of depression, anxiety.
loneliness. They go from there immediately to it's women's fault, meaning if only we could just
have sex with whoever and whatever we want, then maybe we wouldn't have to rape you.
I do blame women for why we have so many men depressed, lonely. This worldview sets itself up in
contrast to the blue pill, the mainstream belief that relationships are built on love, equality,
romance, and mutual respect. This concept originated from the movie The Matrix, where
taking the red pill meant awakening to a harsh reality, but online, the metaphor mutated into something
darker. You take the blue pill. The story ends. You take the red pill, and I show you how deep
the rabbit hole goes. Those who have taken the red pill claim relationships are actually driven
by social status, power, and dominance, and the ideology has contaminated the minds of countless
young men since its inception. I was obscured by a boy in my school. I know. I now,
I asked my pregnancy to a Year 9 class.
One male student said it wasn't possible for me to be pregnant
because I was so ugly, no one would even be me.
I asked a student to stop spilling water on the table.
He said, how wet do you get miss?
I had a Year 9 boy do a creative writing exercise
that basically described an act of gang-wit towards me.
We've seen the impact that Andrew Tiet and other feggers are having on young people.
I am absolutely sexist and I'm absolutely a misogynist.
If I have a woman who I truly love and I go out and fuck, that's not cheating.
That's exercise.
If she even talks to a dude, it's cheating.
I think my sister is her husband's property, yes.
Andrew Tate, a central figure in the movement,
and once the most Googled person in the world,
continues to promote red pill content
even after facing serious criminal charges.
Andrew Tate's have millions of followers online,
and to give you some more background,
officials say he was in charge of a criminal ring
that lured women to Romania
where they were sexually exploited.
Tonight, disturbing allegations being made against
one of the most controversial figures on social media.
I was with Andrew, and he said,
I'm just debating whether I should whiop you or not.
Out of the blue, he just got up,
smashed me to the back of the bed,
strangling me extremely hard.
And I'm like, no, Andrew, you said you wouldn't.
He describes a sexual encounter and says,
that's how it goes.
Slap, slap, grab, chokes, shut up, b-de-sex.
That's how it should be.
But even something as disturbing as the red pill can go further.
A far bleaker worldview was quietly evolving.
According to it, society is broken beyond repair.
Men are doomed to loneliness.
Women are nothing but cruel gatekeepers.
Power trumps morality.
And violence is the only form of expression men have left.
These are all ideas promoted by the fatalistic and radically misogynistic philosophy,
known as the Black Pill.
I'm 22 years old and I still have been.
virgin. I don't know why you girls aren't attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it.
This weekend, a lot of us learned for the first time about a kind of subculture, a hidden world of
resentment, cynicism, anger against women, where one disturbed young man took refuge.
22-year-old Elliot Roger, a virgin vowing revenge in a twisted video he posted Friday,
addressed at his perceived enemies. Young women, he says, rejected him.
You will finally see that I am in true.
the superior one, the true alpha male.
For the black-pilled, hope is an illusion.
You, just like the world around you, are broken.
And that resentment can only lead to one thing.
Police didn't have to search long to learn what motivated a 22-year-old gunman to kill six people and injure seven others.
The University of California, Santa Barbara community is in mourning.
She was walking with two of her friends, and he opened fire.
We lost our only daughter.
She had so much to give for this life.
It's just awful.
And no parent should have to go through this.
But something happened in 2021.
The Black Pill community emerged from the shadows,
taking its message to the masses in an attempt to replicate the Andrew Tate phenomenon.
Enter self-proclaimed Sigma Mail and self-published novelist.
It's the man who calls himself Roman McClay.
I'm here at Roman.
Roman. Roman.
Roman McLean.
The Unabomber of the 2010.
The reclucer may or may not be plotting your demise.
Currently blowing up Twitter, making a whole lot of noise online.
We have the man, a literal myth, living out in the forest somewhere.
Nobody knows where he's at.
Thank you for joining us.
For those that don't know, Roman, he is the author of Sanction,
which has got all the momentum in the world behind it right now.
People are really into it.
There's a movement behind it.
People are trying to get movies made, get you on Joe Rogan.
Roman quickly became famous.
Before anyone could realize what he truly stood for,
podcast host treated him like a modern philosopher,
but few noticed the violent undertone behind his words.
This is the thing that 99% of people miss.
They put people into two categories,
decent civilized motherfuckers and violent.
And I'm offended by the fact that someone who's violent
is just shuttled off into this category.
psychopath. Because one thing modern society does is it tells men like myself to not be so macho,
right? It's called toxic masculinity. And we're told constantly that we're the problem. I thought if I wrote
a book like this, it would find those kinds of people and they would for once feel almost redeemed by it.
The book Roman is referring to is called sanction, an over 1.2 million word supposed science fiction
novel, nearly twice as long as the Bible. He writes himself in as the macho, self-insert protagonist
named Lyndon McLeod, which is Roman's real name from before his influencer rebrand. He describes
his protagonist, Lyndon, killing people he knew in and around Denver, using the real names
of people from his own past. When sanction was released, it received praise from the Manosphere
community, but disturbed almost everyone else. One Amazon review reads,
This book is packed full of rants on diversity, women, and globalization.
There are fantasies of killing people.
This book fetishizes violence.
Support and condemnation of the book created an online debate
where Lyndon himself threatened to kill his detractors and their families.
For those who agreed with Lyndon and his disturbing outlook on the world,
this was gospel.
His book was the longest right-wing manifesto ever written,
a rallying cry for the disheartened incels,
The Black Pilled Bible.
This guy. Fuck this book.
This is a dark piece of whatever.
I'm going to go write an angry blog article about it.
And then I'm going to forget about it in two weeks.
Because there's no way this thing is making it into prime time.
But then the other people, it's like, man, this is what I've been waiting for.
For years, I was abandoned by my tribe, usurped, the trade, overthrown, and now I have a new tribe.
It's loyal to me.
And I haven't tested the limits of that loyalty.
but where we're at now, they've shown supreme loyalty to me.
Members of Lyndon's new black-pilled tribe knew that his so-called first tribe
were people from his past life he hated and that they were all on the hit list hidden
in the pages of sanction.
But one woman seemingly held more importance to him than the others, the indigenous Mexican-American painter,
muralist, educator, activist, body-piercer, tattoo artist, and Lyndon's ex-girlfriend, Alicia Cardenas.
Alicia was really about bringing people together and just showing us that we are all one.
She was a progressive artist in person, very strong woman.
She was a warrior. She wanted to make a difference in this world, and you damn well bet she did.
I hope you all are taking good care of each other today. I'm going to be doing some tattoos,
I'm going to be hugging my people extra long. I'm going to be trying to remind everybody who
the fuck they are, what they bring to the universe. I hope it's going to be
going to help you and ignite you to do more work and change throughout our communities.
So, uh, mhm, mhm, and, uh, I hope you have a good day.
Ometo, mitakwe-O-Awa-Assin.
Ometio to Mityakouyei-Sin, Alicia's motto, a Lakotin-Nawadal mantra, meaning, we're all connected
as one through the universe, and the 44-year-old lived by it, even though connection wasn't
what she found when she first entered the tattoo world in the early 90s. Back then, the industry
was still ruled by biker gangs and ex-convicts.
For a young woman of color, it wasn't just hostile.
It was truly dangerous.
You know, there's a difference between being called a bad name and the real bad experience
is, you know, having somebody pull a gun on you and beat you up.
Many women were sexually aggressive, sexually exploited, even in this tattoo industry.
And that's not just Denver.
That's the entire industry.
Alicia had no interest in joining that scene, so she set out to build something of her own,
After delivering pizza and cleaning houses for years, she opened Soul Tribe on Broadway Street
in downtown Denver.
Her shop wasn't just about tattoos.
She wanted it to become a home for people like her.
She hired artists whom other shops had rejected.
She mentored teenagers, ran food drives for people experiencing homelessness, and painted murals
with messages about healing and tolerance.
Her employee and best friend Jimmy Maldonado was by her side from the beginning.
Together, they built a powerful community and made in time.
conclusioned their mission, but their message didn't sit well with everyone.
At times, like, the odds were definitely against us.
There's people who just didn't want to see us succeed.
There was a lot of sexism and racist talk.
Someone threw this rock through this big window of ours.
It was a threat, but none of that was going to stop us.
Alicia just had a great vision.
It can be something different and something better, and it doesn't have to be like this.
Jimmy and Alicia poured everything into Soul Tribe,
building it into one of Colorado's most respected tattoo shops. Before long, Broadway Street became
a hub for the counterculture, with open-minded tattoo parlors popping up all around. Along the way,
Elysia became something of a matriarch to her people, a legend in downtown Denver. She had truly
changed the game and was finally living her dream, but in the shadows, someone from her past
was watching, and they were waiting for the right moment to destroy it all.
It's December 27th, 2021, just three days after Christmas.
Jimmy's wife, Alyssa, not to be confused with Alicia,
is helping close up Soul Tribe for the night with her husband and Alicia.
The couple shares with their boss that they've been trying for a baby recently.
Heartwarming news to Alicia, who officiated their wedding two years prior.
The three are cleaning up and chatting when someone none of them has seen in nearly 20 years walks through the door.
I was in the back in my room.
Usa and Alicia were in the front.
Someone comes into the shop.
Once I realized who it was, I was shocked.
Something was off with him.
Back in 1999, Lyndon found his way to Denver
after fleeing a cult-like hippie commune known as Zen Dick Farm.
There, he soon got acquainted with the city's up-and-coming tattoo industry
and, eventually, walked into Soul Tribe.
One day, someone comes into the shop.
His name was Lyndon McLeod.
He would talk to people,
We talked to Alicia.
After a while, they became friends.
Alicia believed in second chances.
When she met Lyndon, she saw someone spiritually broken,
searching for meaning and belonging.
They connected quickly,
and before long, their friendship turned into something more.
But it didn't take long for things to take a turn for the worse.
Lyndon's charm gave way to cynicism.
He started saying things that made her uneasy,
offhand jokes that were almost insults and opinions that felt more like warnings.
Before things got out of hand, she broke up with him.
In 2018, Alicia was interviewed by a fellow feminist influencer.
She was asked about a time she felt unsafe in a relationship.
She didn't mention anyone in particular, but the similarities to Lyndon were uncanny.
I hated his whole warrior mentality, his aggressiveness, and that he had been calling himself an alpha male for so long.
And so I'm happy that he didn't kill me or punch me in the face, but I forgive him for being overly aggressive.
While Elysia was focused on building a safe space to bring people together,
Lyndon vanished into the woods and built a container house in which he could live in complete isolation.
There, he spiraled deeper into radicalization.
In the echo chamber he created for himself online,
he convinced himself that Elysia and everyone who offended him
were to blame for everything that had gone wrong in his life.
During this time, he wrote his revenge fantasy book,
Sanction, in which he explicitly names Elysia,
and has his self-insert protagonist murder her.
However, when Lyndon hinted online that his novel might not stay fictional for much longer,
many of his followers backed away.
A few even reported him to the FBI for terrorist intent, but no concrete action was taken.
So, on that cold December night in 2021,
Lyndon walks into Soul Tribe dressed in black leather and body armor.
He's bringing his twisted fantasy to life.
He pulls an AR-15 from a bag,
and, without saying a word, fires on Alicia, Jimmy, and Alyssa.
In the early morning of December 27th, police officer Ashley Ferris arrives at her station in Lakewood,
seven miles from Denver. She's running on coffee and very little sleep.
She's been struggling with an ongoing divorce, and the holidays hit hard.
I needed to be getting mental health help that I wasn't getting, and I wasn't telling people that I needed it.
It's the first Christmas she spent alone.
And the silence at home has been brutal.
Still, she shows up.
With half the department out sick, she doesn't have much of a choice.
And then I had someone at work text me,
and I don't want to make this part sound bad, but, you know, he texted me,
and he was like, hey, you need to watch your reputation.
Because, like, you're not the same version of yourself.
You're not the same agent Ferris that we all know,
and I think your attitude has changed,
and I think you need to like course correct basically.
And what that person didn't understand is that I was like at my breaking point.
Ashley used to crack jokes in the locker room, always in good spirits.
She was the kind of cop who noticed when someone was having a bad day and honestly asked about it.
But nowadays, the only thing that keeps her going seems to be her pets at home.
I had struggled with mental health and depression and anxiety and things before.
and I had dabbled with getting help, but I never really, I didn't really want to open up to the problems.
I didn't really want to address all the truth and all the issues that I was going through.
By lunchtime, Ashley is sitting alone in her cruiser in an empty parking lot, trying to keep it together.
Lakewood officers patrol alone, and the isolation doesn't help.
Her thoughts quickly spiral out of control.
She's been in a dark place for months, and today feels worse than usual.
She starts crying, but is interrupted by her phone.
It's a text from a friend on the force, asking if he should walk her dog during her shift.
She knows this is her last chance to ask for help.
But here, all alone and at the end of her rope, she just doesn't take it.
Quite frankly, I backed them into a corner because I told them all the things that I knew
I could say without them putting me on a mental health hold, because this was another officer.
And I knew exactly what I could say and what I shouldn't say to tow that one.
line. And that was the person that I would probably suspect would have taken care of my
animals, which was my biggest concern. And I really didn't care about anything else. And I told
that person, you know, like, I don't think I can do this anymore. Like, I don't know what I'm doing.
And that person was like, are you planning on hurting yourself? Are you planning on killing yourself?
All the questions that we ask as police officers. And I didn't respond. I navigated around.
And the truth was, I was going to get myself.
I was going to go home that night after work and take my own life.
And I was fine with that.
The rest of the shift goes by.
Routine calls, patrols, nothing out of the ordinary.
Ashley goes through the motions and agrees to do a double for the sake of the team.
It's her last day on Earth, after all.
She may as well make herself useful.
Then, just after 5 p.m., her radio crackles.
To all agents, be advised, rifle casings, and kiftings at the hospital.
Suspect his last seen south.
2nd2 on the last event.
Dispatch, we're hearing shots fired, we're hearing shots fired.
He's still shooting.
If you have your attack, we're put them on.
We're shooting at them with a rifle, and they're attempting to return fire.
And at that point, it's pedal to the metal, trying to get there as fast as I can.
Ashley does what she can to piece together the events as they happen in real time on her radio.
At 525, her Denver colleagues find the bodies of Alicia and Alyssa at Soul Tribe,
but managed to rescue Jimmy before he bleeds out.
But unfortunately, Lyndon is already long gone.
At 531, he burst into the apartment of his ex-business partner, tattoo artist Jeremy Costello.
So I broke that business off with him, and he hated that.
I never would have thought it would come to something like this.
But in the book, a character was going to, it was his own name.
Lyndon McLeod was going to kill me and then behead her.
Thankfully, Jeremy, his wife, and their eight-month-old daughter,
escape in time, but the other people listed throughout the pages of sanction aren't as lucky.
At 545, Lyndon kills a contractor he used to work with, named to Michael Swinyard, at his residence.
At 549, police engage Lyndon's black van. They don't know that the attack has been planned.
The pursuit ends in a shootout, and the suspect wrecks two police cruisers before fleeing towards
Lakewood. Once there, Lyndon continues his vendetta by heading straight to the Lucky 13 tattoo parlor.
and at 558 kills another of his past partners out of jealousy,
tattoo artist Danny Schofield right in front of his two clients.
You were just standing there, and this guy in this shoot and his rifle came in,
shot him three times.
The guy came in, he said the guy, by name, he said, Danny,
and then shot him like three times.
Lyndon then walks into a restaurant where he forces his way behind the counter
and pours himself a drink.
I threw the glass at my feet,
and it shattered and then he pulled his gun on me.
Yeah?
Well, I guess who's in charge?
It ain't you, d'I.
You're in the drinks.
What?
At 604, another gunfight erupts between him and the police.
He escapes into a Hyatt Hotel and kills 28-year-old front desk worker Sarah Steck,
who isn't listed in sanction.
She simply happens to be in the wrong place at the wrong time.
You know, the hotel clerk that had been less than a block away from me when she was murdered,
She was the same age as me, and she was also on overtime.
It's now 610.
Ashley finally reaches the area where the last attack happened.
Nobody can guess exactly where Lyndon is headed next, but she has her own idea.
I knew that he was involved with some tattoo shops.
I didn't know the details, but there was a tattoo shop to the north of me that I thought
maybe he could be headed towards.
And sure enough, he walked up to me.
When he approached me, I asked who he was.
And then I don't remember what he said after that because I knew, I mean, you have a gut feeling and I knew that this was the guy.
He made a quick movement with his right hand and I tried to stop him, tried to stop his hand.
And I told him, don't do this.
And he said, I'll show you what I'll do.
Ashley knows that calling out to him is useless at this point.
She can see it in his eyes.
Instead, she steps back and pulls out her service weapon without taking her.
her eyes off Linden, she notices a crowd moving in right behind him.
She hesitates for a second, not wanting to hit innocent bystanders, but Linden doesn't care
and opens fire.
Who was that?
Who was that?
That was Agent Ferris.
I was going to take my own life and he decided to shoot me instead of that.
And when I was laying there on the ground, bleeding out pretty heavily and my head hit the pavement
and my head's bleeding, I wasn't going to let him win.
It wasn't about me.
He was going to keep killing people.
He was going to kill my friends who were responding to save me.
Severely concussed and bleeding profusely, Ashley knows her body is about to give out.
She has only a few seconds to act.
With a ringing ears and blurry vision, she can barely make out Lyndon's shape in the distance,
but notices the crowd has dispersed.
She steadies herself as best she can and pulls the trigger with the last of her strength.
I've said it before to people.
I remember the Christmas lights reflecting on the pavement, and I remember that the Christmas lights reflecting
And I remember laying there, and I thought to myself,
this is pretty peaceful.
And I realized, I don't think he's shooting at me anymore.
And I'm laying there.
And I knew, I was like, I'm going to die.
But it's okay, because I did the best I could.
And if I'm going to die, this is an honorable way to go.
And I did what I could to save other people,
and I did what I could to stay in the fight.
But then to see my peers, my coworkers, my friends run into that situation to save me,
sure, it's our job.
Absolutely, it's our job.
But you don't know how you're going to react until you're there.
And to see them run in to a scene with an active gunman.
They run in and they grab me and they save me.
I wasn't going to give up the fight for my life.
After that, no way.
I got finished.
I'm going to say that.
Let them know what I'm being ready for.
Meanwhile, Lyndon McLeod is declared dead at the scene.
Unbelievably, Ashley managed to shoot right through his heart.
The bullet entered Lyndon's upper left side, the only area of his chest unprotected by his body armor.
With all of the video released today, the most compelling is about a minute long from a
halo camera when Agent Ashley Ferris, who's just been shot, is able to take out this shooter
and end a murderous rampage.
In the following weeks, Ashley undergoes a series of surgeries as doctors fight to save him.
her left leg. In another hospital, Jimmy is also recovering, slowly regaining his strength.
It's not until he is finally released one week later that the reality of what has happened truly
sinks in. Tonight, Jimmy is now back home. He's recovering from his injuries. He shared his
story with Denver 7's Ivan, Ivan Rodriguez, and he also told him how he wants Alyssa to be remembered.
For Jimmy Maldonado, no words can describe the pain of losing someone you love.
I'm sorry, it comes in waves, man.
For him, that person is his wife, Alyssa Gunn Maldonado.
She wrote to me, I love you so much.
You bring my heart so much joy.
I had the best time naming our babies and listening to music
and loving you forever and ever and ever.
You know, I know it's going to take time,
but there's no doubt in my mind that I'm going to see this through in a good way.
Eventually, it's also time for Ashley to be discharged.
She is immediately celebrated as a hero by her community.
But the title doesn't sit easily with her.
She can't just accept the praise without being honest about what really happened that day.
So she starts speaking up, sharing her story openly with anyone who will listen.
And for the first time, people begin to understand what she really went through to survive and stop Lyndon.
And so at that point, I decided I have a responsibility.
I can be vulnerable.
And being vulnerable is something to be.
is something that I think can push suicide awareness and mental health awareness forward.
Just remember, like, you have a fucking purpose.
You are influencing someone else's life, and that is your purpose.
It was not comfortable for me to go on the news and say, yeah, I was going to kill myself that day.
But it takes somebody to start it.
I hope that I can impact some of the law enforcement community specifically,
but also everyone, to say that we are all struggling.
Why are we not helping each other?
Why are we not talking about it?
Would you run in to stop the guy who's pointing the gun at himself?
If you're going to run into the gun fight to help somebody,
you've got to run into the mental health fight to help somebody too.
Today, Ashley runs a fighting chance,
a non-profit organization aiming to help police,
first responders, and the general public identify and treat signs of depression
while developing resiliency through a focus on purpose.
Meanwhile, with the tremendous help of his family and his family,
his community, Jimmy also gets better. His purpose remains to honor Alicia and Alyssa's legacies.
On the third anniversary of the tragedy, he shares a poignant message on social media.
It's true what they say. The pain doesn't go away, but you learn how to live with it.
Tonight, I spent my evening alone. I made dinner and shared it with them.
Past 5 p.m., which is when I think the shootings began, and little Issa's Popolskomitl and prayed.
It was nice to be alone with them. I miss them, but I'm grateful for the time.
and love we shared, thank you all so much for keeping the memory of these two amazing
mojeres alive and continuing to honor them. Prayers up to all the families affected by the
events of this tragic day. Prayers up to the life lost. I hope all of your spirits are at peace.
Jimmy Maldonado, December 27, 2024.
