Unsubscribe Podcast - 1 - And so it begins...

Episode Date: January 19, 2021

A long long time ago, in a small closet far far away, Baddie and Eli had a dream for a podcast and couldnt get their first choice for a 3rd person so they settled on DonutOperator.  Welcome to the shitshow. Unsubscribe.  Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hi everyone, Donut here. We're doing the unsubscribe podcast now with Mr. Eli Double Tap and Batty Streams over here. That's me. You got the worst name ever. It's just Batty. Okay, it's just Batty. It's just Batty. It's not Batty Streams. Okay, Batty Streams on Instagram. What's your opinion on that, Batty Streams? Yeah, Batty Streams. I can't get Batty where it's just chicks with fat asses, and I just wanted to feel included. The people at our brunch place was talking about your name today. They were asking where that weird fuck was, and I was like, oh, well, he's not here. They were like, what's his name?

I said, batty. They said, oh, that's his stripper name, huh? I'd be a great stripper. I think you would. Introducing batty on the stage. I want that one everywhere. You're introducing ranch Water for a minute. Dude, yeah, give...

We're talking to Ranch Water right now because we said we need a Seltzer sponsor and White Claws social media sucks so we don't want to be associated with them. Ranch Water, on the other hand, is a small company here in Texas and we're in the talks. They don't have standards.

They said cool. Much like myself. You guys don't need to watch something beforehand? No, just go for it. Where did we get the idea for this? One day we were like, let's do a podcast. I think it was a bingo. No, it was well before that.

Well, me and you have been talking about this for a long time, but Kings, another one of our friends, just sucks a lot of dick. So that did not happen. He's like, I can't travel. I'm sick. My head is gonna explode. Yeah, exactly. So we've been talking about this for, fuck,

six months at least. And then we kind of shelved it. No, it's been over a year because I haven't played Tarkov with you in a year. So yeah, it's been since Tarkov, yeah. And then they kind of shelved it. No, it's been over a year because I haven't played Tarkov with you in a year. So yeah, it's been since Tarkov, yeah. And then they settled on me. Good to know Kings was your first pick. It's good.

So to be fair. His voice. Me and Eli had this weird connection where we put our dicks in each other and it worked out well. So it's going to be that kind of podcast. Yeah, yeah. At least it's not political obama am i right all right boys we literally made a list of things we weren't gonna do before we started and we've crossed two of them right off immediately we're like ah pg-13 yeah we'll try and like yeah the baddies like suck oh i mean i didn't think pg-13 was ever going to happen it never will ever ever yeah okay i i mean first off yeah we just got this started but more importantly you guys just moved to texas

what felt like a week ago with how much you've been drinking. My liver feels like it was a year ago. Yeah. You guys are just blacking out and waking up today, I think. Yeah, something like that. I'm still going. You're sober now. Yeah, we were able to get the podcast out.

Thanks, Ranch Water. Ranch Water. We're ruining our friend. Oh, man. Yeah. So I got here first. Patty came up here like a couple weeks after me and lived in my house. Then my son gave him bronchitis.

I don't like how you transitioned right to your son gave me bronchitis. I was in a house with somebody who had bronchitis. Let's leave it at that. Let's just. It feels weird to be like, yeah, your son gave me bronchitis. Son gave me mono. John! John!

Stay away from me. I'm not looking around children. Oh, man. This is just hitting all the marks right out the gate. And then Batty broke my hot tub. Okay. It was not just me who broke the hot tub so this we're talking that was also like a month into the bender okay to be fair we can't blame

anyone for that except the drink clean was a part of it me and clean it well there's a lot of people in the hot tub but in the end it was just me and clean just you know broing down in our tiny silkies drinking way too much white claw yeah which clean doesn't really drink a lot so that that was a red flag right there i should have known better i think the story has a red flag when you say me and clean just broing down in the hot tub you know they were in our short broke do they have their silkies on which clink is to the shrinkage have their silkies on? There's clinkers to the shrinkage everywhere. Clint is addicted to silkies now. All he'll wear. I've been preaching about short shorts. Everyone's like, put your thighs away.

You should never have to do that. What month did you move here? November? You were early November. Yeah, November. What? November. It was early November. November no what November yeah it was

it was early you lived with me for a week oh yeah I did live with you for a week you packed up and you're like

I'm coming down I was like hell yeah brother hell yeah brother and then immediately he was like there and I was like

yeah come on man here's some places I think I was gone most of those days you stayed at my house yeah I was just in your house eating your food. Did you fuck with his shit at all while he was gone?

I bare-ass farted on his pillow. I had pink eye. That's where it came from. Gave him bronchitis. My son gave him something to do. It's a bed of germs and disease. Child. And now that's my house.

And then you moved, moved what two weeks after or november 15th i or 14th i got here i think it was 14th or 15th because we had the boot campaign charity thing literally yes during the drive yeah it started it started uh the day i did the second day of it because i was driving the first day from Vermont. Yeah. You pulled up to Matt's house while we were streaming. Yeah, that's right. I got here early that day, hung out for a bit, and then went straight to Matt's house. And you guys were in the middle of your thing, and I just sat in the background and yelled a lot. Both.

Everyone. And then drinks happened. I was sober. Great. Good time. Good time. Good time. What's the boot campaign? Boot campaign is a veteran's nonprofit organization.

We've done two years now for the Twitch event, for the Twitch charity event, and phenomenal organization where it's like one of the few that none of the board members actually take a paycheck. So it's an actual nonprofit that they don't like. Yeah, it's a nonprofit. I need about a $600,000 a year salary to support this nonprofit. And we'll give about $1,000 to the soldiers.

So one soldier can actually get help. But it's putting soldiers or veterans or families through the help they need post the military or during the military. So if you're like alcoholism or PTSD. Why did you look at me? You looked directly into my, you looked up from your spiel said alcoholism and stared into my eyes. No reason.

I don't, you don't have PTSD. You never deployed. So alcoholism is just your Oh, that's my fallback. Yeah. I have nothing else for that didn't deploy so they help people like baddie don't it didn't deploy yeah i didn't deploy yeah you're welcome he's a navy seal yeah so you guys did that big boot campaign stream recently where you raised total of... $162,000?

$159,000? That's awesome. I thought it was $76,000. No, last year it was $76,000. Last year it was $77,000. Yeah, we doubled it. This was $142,000. $142,000.

$162,000. I don't know, dude. I don't do numbers well, okay? I like you're still looking at me like you know the numbers. I don't. I don't., dude. I don't do numbers well, okay? You're still looking at me like you know the numbers. No, this is me being like, help. These eyes are saying, correct me, please. 72 is the first year everyone, same crew, was on board. We just went bigger this year, and everyone crushed it.

Crushed it out the gate. You raised an absurd amount of money 44 000 yes 44 000 yeah and your eyebrows kind of grew back oh my god that's right oh yeah I shaved your eyebrows we got drunk because I was living I was living with donuts still yeah and we were at like 30 000 I was like if we hit 40 I'll fuck with my eyebrows and I was why do fintechs like float choose visa as a more trusted more secure payments network visa provides scale expertise and innovative payment solutions learn more at visa.ca slash fintech drunk so I busted out the clippers because I had all my shot I had clippers

and I had one of the hooker lines or whatever they're called. I don't know what to call them. It's a got from street fighter over here, but you were, you were doing that. I, I was doing my stream and I just wasn't into it that night. And so you were in the room next to me and I come in there and you're drinking white cloud of a shoe.

And I was like, yeah, I'm just going to hang out with daddy and help him raise money. Hold my shoe. You're going restroom. You look at your stream, you look at his, you look at his you're like i'm gonna go guys exactly what happens i'm just gonna back batty up yeah when it comes the

i go hard uh what was the hardest part of moving for you um trying to oh my god it was getting fucked by the moving company they're like hey it hey, it's going to cost, they quoted me, it's going to be like four grand to bring this semi from Vermont to Texas and all your shit's going to be, and I'm like, cool. I got here, they're like, well, it was actually like eight grand. I'm like, what? They did that after? Yeah, because it was a quote initially. It wasn't like I paid. Holding your shit hostage. Literally, exactly what it was. And then it was then shipping my old Chevy down here as well. It was the exact same scenario.

I was like, oh, it's going to be about $1,500. I was like, cool. It's actually going to be like $4,000. I'm like, what the fuck? How do they get away with that when you're like... Because you're moving across the country and you don't have any other options. But when you quote... And a lot of people don't have an extra three grand per thing

to just sit around and just be like, oh. So there's a lot of really good options like all these pods, or not FedEx, U-Haul has these pods and there's the pods company, but in Vermont,

those don't exist. I think U-Haul, I could get some pods, but it was going to cost me like 2,000 bucks just to get the pods to my house, let alone filling them and then actually shipping them down. it was gonna cost more no matter what i mean in the long run it would have probably been cheaper if i did that just got by u-haul versus

getting by random shipping company number four shout out to random company either way i got the dick and then what was the hard part for you you packed your vehicle and we're like i'm here yeah yeah i was coming down here for the drive tanks.com event yeah and like brandon was there and kentucky ballistics and demolition ranch they were all hanging out at the tank place and they invited me to just chill with them for a little bit shoot some tanks my 11 year old got to shoot uh ma deuce 50 cal he got to shoot a tank tank. Yeah, it was a really great event. And I was here and was like, I don't want to leave Texas. And so I rented a house and stayed here.

Like, this is my home now. Yeah, and we've been getting into some pretty good shenanigans just in the past two months, man. Like the collaborations and just the hanging out and everything. It's been really good. Do you know how lucky it is that we all decided to move to North San Antonio? It's nice in North San Antonio. Imagine if the shitty part of San Antonio was in Northern. We all just got here and were like,

oh no. Eli, why did you say move to the southwest part of San Antonio? I don't know. That's where I'm from. I didn't look at my house before I moved. I should have had somebody look at my house before I moved.

I was like, this one looks nice, man. Sure. And then I didn't even see it until like four days after I moved. I should have had somebody look at my house before I moved. I was like, this one looks nice, man. Sure. And then I didn't even see it until like four days after I moved here. Cause I couldn't get into the gated neighborhood cause I didn't have the code or I didn't have a house key. Yeah. Do you have your mail yet?

Oh, I finally got my, so yeah. When I first moved here, US, the United States Postal Service, bless their hearts, lost my mail. Sweet, sweet people. Lost everything for two months. I didn't actually start getting mail. So I moved mid-November.

I didn't actually start getting mail until January 11th or 10th or some shit. It's like last week. My favorite story is why the key? So in my neighborhood, I don't have like a mailbox at the front of my driveway everyone has like these little mailboxes on the corner um and they had to re-key the mailbox for me because apparently just giving me the old key from the old tenant was illegal or stupid or i i don't know i don't have a reason either way they couldn't go to home depot and make a fucking key for me so they had to have the mailbox rekeyed. And that was in November.

And it's January. And I still don't have a key for my own mailbox. So to get my mail, I have to go to the fucking post office, which I've been doing twice a week since November, trying to find my mail. And then ask them and wait in line for an hour and a half to get my mail and be like, where's my key? And they're like, well, the guy who used to make the keys retired. So you're just fucked. That his government that was it gets like one you nobody can make a key and that is as government as it gets for one thing it's the usps right there we only had one option he's retired it's like we're training the next one though.

I mean, even worse. They like lied to me when I first, cause I first got there like, Oh, we actually delivered your mail to the, to the mailbox. So we'll have it brought in tomorrow.

I'm like, cool, whatever. Coming the next day. They're like, yeah, you don't have any mail. I'm like,

so yesterday you told me you delivered my mail and today i don't have any so like who's lying they're like we're gonna make you a key though i'm like when's the key be done two to four weeks i'm like sure whatever it's been two months man like where the fuck is my key but you got your mail finally i didn't get my mail giant tote was like a giant tote of mail. 90% of the mail was actually not even my mail. It was the previous like four tenants mail because it's like the random ass. There's so many names.

It's like how many people lived in my house before me? Why doesn't anyone change their address? Dude. I don't understand. I still get mail from like random names. I'm like, I've been here three years. Yeah. get mail from like random names i'm like i've been here three years yeah so even though i'm like it's not like they're delivering my there it's i'm going to the post office to pick up my mail they're handing me a tub of other people's mail i'm like you have my name you know where i

live and i'm just like and i remember when i had to bring the tub back because apparently if you steal those little tubs, that's a crime. That's a big crime. Okay, I know I said steal one of those tubs. Yeah, obviously stealing is a crime. No steal. But, like, the post office tub, it says, like, charged, like, 10. Yeah.

They don't fuck around with those tubs. So I brought the tub back. And, like, I was just holding there, like, I was giving it to them. They're like, this isn't my mail. They're like, they just stared at me. I'm like, you gave me everybody at somebody else's mail. And it was like most of the tub. They're just like, what do you want us to do with it?

I don't know. Don't look at me. This is not my job. Stop giving me your other people's mail. They're like, that's a crime. Isn't it? You can't open other people's mail. Like, I was getting Christmas cards for people.

I'm like, this poor family. I have 18 Christmas cards for this other family. Batty made $36 this Halloween. He's rolling in the dough. So moving to Texas was fun. Oh, God. At least you guys are here. Everyone's happy.

Everyone's creative. You've been crushing it lately with content. So have you. Oh, I thought you were going to make fun of me. Not this time. Not's creative. You've been crushing it lately with content. So have you. I thought you were going to make fun of me. Not this time. You got Tarkov. You got the Tarkov drops that were going down. Those were good. What was your peak viewership on the drops?

14,000? Batty got fucked on his days though. For everybody who doesn't know, Twitch does these big events with game developers and they'll basically just take your normal viewership and and blow it up exponentially so instead of like having 500 normal viewers you can have upwards of 20 000 um like last year ended up with like 52 000 out of again a normal like 5 000 so this year they changed my day on it so everybody expects you on one day and they promote the fuck out of you.

And then you're not there. And then the day you actually are live, everyone's showing up like, man, you're not on this day though. I'm like, motherfucker. It says on my stream,

I'm on this. And nobody was like, I don't know, man, I'm not getting any drops from you. I've been here for 13 seconds and I haven't gotten a bunch of free shit. Twitch. BSG.

Tarkov. Fucking disaster. New Year's Day too. Of all days. I was supposed to be New Year's... No, I was supposed to be New Year's Day and I took New Year's Day. If I was going to start New Year's Day I was supposed to be new year's day and i took new year's day because they want if i had if i was going to start new year's day i was gonna have to start my stream at like 4 a.m

on new year's day what's better than a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an instacart shopper and delivered to your door a wellmarbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Which means if you get drops, you basically, you're gonna be live for 24 hours.

You take advantage of that. So if I was gonna be live New Year's Day 24 hours, that means the day before I'm gonna be sleeping the entire, so that means I have zero New Year's, it's gone. Yeah. So like, oh, we can give you New Year's Eve instead. I'm like, fuck it, I'll sleep the day before New Year's Eve and just party through New Year's

and then I can go hang out with my friends on New Year's Day. Whatever, cool. And then they didn't do any of the promotion or change anything like that and they weren't, thank you ESG. They're like, we got you.

And you're like, real big thumbs up. They got me and you wake up, you get it on, like no one's showing up. You're like, what? Well, I mean,

I had my normal viewership and it did go, like I still organically without any of that promotion hit like 5, 6, 7,000 and then eventually I broke 10 which is still really big

because people started realizing oh he does bad he is here with drops but it's nothing like the previous year when you go live and then basically

what happens is the previous day all the people that had drops the previous days will host you raid you kick their viewership over so you get these like giant host trains going where you have like you're

getting hosted for 10 000 15 000 people 52 000 people whatever it may be from the day before but like nothing so i it was just an organic grind for me when everyone else was getting those like crazy fucking kickoffs happening what did you get how many were you at uh have a drop thing yeah i did drops i only did it for like six hours though i don't like doing that 24 hour stuff man i'm not i don't know that's that's insane how you guys do that yeah i did like six hours i don't have any self-respect i had like three or four thousand people in there and then tarkov made me so mad i'd rage quit it was like the first day i played since the wipe happened it was yeah it was your first time back on i come back we're're going to crush it.

This is going to be completely different this time. Yeah, and I'm like spawn dead. Spawn dead. Spawn head ice dead every time. That was me for like in the middle. It was like hour 15, 16. I had like a three-hour spree of just death, just constant death. It was fucking awful.

So this podcast is going to revolve around nerd stuff? Is that what we're doing? 100%. Gaming, guys, and guns. Yeah. Yeah. So what hot dudes have you been looking at on Instagram lately? Hey, Cody.

Hey, what's up, buddy? How you doing? I've been looking at this Matt Baskin. Oh, yeah. I won't talk about Matt. Don't talk about your hussy in front of me I'm right here okay It's okay

We're talking about having him on here I think he said he wants to come on here Matt's a huge nerd It always surprises people It's just like I guess what we do These are military dudes or police officers He was a military dude too Before you point at him like that He was Military dudes or police officers. He was a military dude too. Before you point at him like that.

He was. That's why he did military dudes, police dudes. I mean, you look like you play video games. Like if I walked in, I'd be like, that guy plays. Don't look at me like looking for tattoos that makes fun of video games. For 36 hours straight. 39 and a half. Is that the longest stream you've straight. 39 and a half. Is that the longest stream you've done?

39 and a half, yeah. Dude, how do you do that after a while? I do eight hours and I'm like, I feel dead. Dude, the last big event that I did where I streamed over six days, I streamed like 111 hours. Or five days. It was like a 30 hour stream that I'd slept for two hours that I did like a 28 hour stream that I

did a 32 hour stream that I'd like a 17 hours it was wild I hated myself do you have a general care physician that you see not anymore good news there is a hospital like a mile for down the road from me i've already been once have you the bronchitis oh i had to go because i couldn't i didn't sleep for like three days because i got so i got tested for covid twice because i was like i gotta cough oh fuck i should go and every time they're like it's not covid just stabbed me in the brain with that fucking thing it's not covid man so i like a normal man ignored my sickness until it got to the point where i couldn't breathe and uh i hadn't slept in like three days because i was coughing so much and i was like all right i'm gonna just tuck my pride

away for a little bit and go to the hospital like power of deduction you were like cough john so like i assumed like john john has bronchitis like you cody John. John has bronchitis. Cody you didn't get bronchitis. So I was like I'm not around him that fucking much. Cody's in shape. He has a strong immune system. Yours is hanging on for life. Shit on Batty Podcast.

Welcome. Subscribe. And subscribe. Welcome. Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. Unsubscribe. I just like this is like the first few episodes are going to have this amazing background of a white wall, a white wall, half a whoopee. Blind. Dude, I'm so happy.

Some duct tape in the corner. I'm glad I got the whoopee side. I'm not going to lie. I'm pretty happy about that. Yeah, we kind of threw this together today. Yeah. We ordered the stuff a month ago and then we've just been trying to... Last minute. Trying to do this. We're all busy. We all do

shit. Yeah, everyone's super busy. Like, you have a real job. We're idiots. Kind of have a job. He's been crushing it on freaking content this week. Yeah, but like four videos out. Four videos out in one week, which is uncommon for the past couple months. Thanks to Matty. Okay, let's not blame me for us drinking too much.

Matty and I kind of partied for two months when we got here. My liver hurts. A lot of hot tub. A lot of dudes too. Yeah, a lot of mimosas. Manmosas. Manmosas. Every day these guys are texting me.

Manmosas is like, guys, it's 11 a.m. I got to like boost. It wasn't every day. We were going three to four times a week. Yeah, it wasn't every day. It was three to four times a week. Like a good week, it was four days. An off week was like, let's just go three times.

You guys are justifying your behavior, right? I'm not justifying. It's not every day, okay? Three to four days is not every day, sir. It's every other day. Yeah, we're doing a stream, actually, this Tuesday at the place we get Manmoses at. And every tip that we make on our stream, because we're all going to be streaming. I think Cleen's going to be there streaming, too.

So there's going to be four streams. I'm not going to stream. I'm just going to hang out with you guys. Okay. It's just like, I don't have a mobile, I'm getting a mobile setup soon

but yeah. I'm taking my like cooking stream setup. I'm actually taking my setup. The whole laptop and everything? Yeah, laptop and everything. I mean, I could do that too. I guess that's how I do it.

Laptop with a cam link, you're good to go. Yeah, that's what I do. But yeah, all the tips we're making are going to go to the server that's serving us so it's going to be pretty cool.

It'll be good. I know the service industry is kind of suffering right now, especially restaurants and stuff. So anything we can do. You want to tell them about what our manmoses are? Because we've had manmoses from a couple other restaurants, and they're not what we do. It's just like, here's a beer with orange juice in it. That one place was awful. Okay.

You taught me about manmosas did he did you know about him before him yeah i've heard of him but go in yeah because these things are yeah so i went to the the raider ball last year and hung out with a bunch of raiders and the next morning i hung out with them again great football team yes yes exactly but um they were all drinking manmosas which is just a regular mimosa, champagne, orange juice. And then you take a little sip, and then you put a shot of vodka in it. Okay, so not a little sip. You've got to take a big sip.

You've got to take like half of it. You've got to drink half of it real quick. And then the place we go to, they like us so much now, we'll ask for a shot of vodka, and they bring us a cup of vodka. They're like, here's your shot. And then they've been like, so we accidentally poured extra shots, so then you're just drinking like orangish-looking vodka. They're like, here's your shot. And then they've been like, so we accidentally poured extra shots, so then you're just drinking orangish-looking vodka.

And then they'll stop by the table too and be like, we accidentally poured this for someone else. Have all these shots. Oh my god. They're brutally strong. You forget because you're like, oh, it's just a mimosa with a shot of vodka. That is 15% alcohol. You're drinking wine. It's a cup of vodka with some orange

juice in at the end yeah you said orange flavored vodka yeah slight orange they're so good though yeah seven later it's like we need uber please okay nerd nerd stuff though we're going i mean like genres i guess we'll just start as genres because that's like the best starting point because i don't even know your genre of video games no baddies would be like for guessing actually don't let's play a guess i'm gonna play a game we'll guess each other's favorites let's get donut is no the genre That's a specific video. Jesus Christ. Hi, welcome to the chat.

Unsubscribe. This is our guest baddie this time. I am not the guest. I am not the guest. He is already kicked out. If I had a genre for you, it would be RPGs.

And I think, I don't know why I did. No, first-person shooters. Definitely be like RPGs, first-person shooters. But I think younger, you liked platformers. Like Mario and stuff. Oh, yeah. That's all I had, man. I was born in 87.

You're a little older than me. Yeah, so I grew up on the NES. Eli's old. Sorry. I am. If I had to choose your top ones, oh, oh, MMOs and first-person shooters would be my guess for you.

Batty's first-person shooter, I'm just assuming, unless you fucking hate him and just love Tarkov for some weird reason. And RPGs. I think Batty is an RPG. I am an RPG fiend. Like, oh my god.

Yeah, RPGs first, then first person shooters. And you've been doing tabletop forever. Honestly, not forever. I started tabletop gaming in like high school and it was just like the worst experience of my life.

It was awful. and i was like i'm never doing this again and then in right as i was getting out of the military out of that shit i was getting back into i found some other people that like tabletop gaming and i was like this is the greatest thing in my life i want to sing like it was it was amazing i loved it and like i i liked it back in high school but i never had a chance to really play so it was just like an interest like i'd look into it i'd read into it but i never actually could play it but now that's like all i want to do fuck video games like i'll tabletop game all day dnd yes donuts you just did donut why am i gonna guess when you because i want to see what you would guess for him i already know we already talked about this i agreed see what you would guess for him. I already know. We already talked about this. I agreed to what you said.

Yeah, son of a bitch. Never mind. I'm going to take this game. Branchwater, guys. Grapefruit. We're going to play. We'll set up a Dungeons and Dragons thing sometime, right? Already working on it.

Okay, cool. Are we going to do it on this podcast? Or are we just going to do a stream? I think a stream. Yeah, I'm down for it. It'd be the coolest fucking thing. Yeah. It'd be really fun.

Streams. Definitely streams because we can set that up super cool yeah and with the guests and the guest rotations we can have like you're not eli what's your favorite dnd character to play dungeons and dragons for everybody doesn't know what the fuck dd is what is it eli a drow redneck okay how does he talk a blumpkin well a drow blumpkin what's a drow eli man a drow radneck. Okay, how does he talk? A blumpkin. A drow blumpkin. What's a drow, Eli? Man, a drow is a dark elf, okay? Now, my drow, he fell into the, I forget the city, but it is where the blumpkin folk from. It's usually halflings and some wood elf were native to that area, but the drow did a raid they were not successful and my

drow rogue was left behind as a young child. He was adopted by the halflings and... You guys can just skip ahead like five minutes because he's going to go like this for a while. If you're listening, just go ahead and fast forward right about now.

Matty hated I had a backstory for it. It's like, bullshit! it's not a real backstory. So, it worked. Dude, Chris Merles, Chris Perkins, Mike Merles,

Chris Perkins from Wizards right now are just like, they're having, their eyes are twitching and shit. Like, this isn't how the Forgotten Realms works. I'm going to write R.A. Salvatore and have him write me a letter

saying it's okay. He follows me on Twitter. I could probably, go. Good, ask him. Bro, ask him. He's actually really active. He's super easy He follows me on Twitter. I could probably... Go. I'm just... Good. Ask him. Bro. Ask him. He's actually really active.

He's super easy to just chat to. I know. I've met him. You've met... Are you still on? Yeah. I've met him. I don't know who that is.

Do Dritz Durdin? Do Erden. What the... You can't even say his fucking name. What are you talking about? Are those the creators of Dungeons & Dragons? No. Dritz Durdin is one of the most famous D&D characters

from Forgotten Realms. Yeah, period. Just written. I have like 40 books of knowledge on D&D. That's why I can go into that world and be like, oh, here, baddie. This makes sense. It doesn't make sense. It doesn't.

In your lizard brain it makes sense and nothing else. Drift lives in the he's outside. He met Adam Ray and Brunner out in the whatever. Okay. What are your

favorite games? What do you do? Dude, I've never played Dungeons and Dragons. I think that's gonna be fun one day. Yeah, I grew never played Dungeons & Dragons. I think that's going to be fun one day. Yeah, I grew up on Mario, stuff like that. And then got the Sega Genesis. We were just talking about this. I didn't get the Super Nintendo to play Final Fantasy like all the cool kids.

Stuck playing Sonic the Hedgehog. Was Final Fantasy on Super Nintendo? PlayStation, was it? Final Fantasy 6 or 3. The first three were on Super Nintendo, weren't they? Nintendo was Final Fantasy, Final Fantasy 2 and 3 or 5 and 6 were for Super Nintendo.

7 came out for the PlayStation and that was the one that revolutionized RPGs. Yeah, exactly. See, I didn't,

I'm not old. Okay, I am. But like, not you guys. Oh yeah, that's the craziest thing because we grew up in Nintendo era

and Batty just turned 30. I'm about to be, I'm turning 31 next month. So your first system would have been like... Nintendo 64 and a PlayStation. That's fucking ridiculous. I played on a Super Nintendo, but I didn't have one.

My uncle, who's like seven years older than me, he had one. But that wasn't me gaming on that for shit. No, and those guys, like when you're OG consoles, as you're saying you didn't play final fantasy most rpgs weren't specific to this they get a shining force yeah there was hardly any rpgs on sega yeah it was mostly like you're playing the shinobi you're playing heart contra hardcore you're playing scrollers and stuff like that racing games that super nintendo had like chrono trigger it racing games Super Nintendo had like Chrono Trigger

had Final Fantasy had like great RPGs and Secret of Mana I don't know I know Chrono Trigger I don't know half the shit you're talking about right now this is old people talking

were these games in black and white I mean what were these in black and white? I mean, what? Were these in black and white, too? He's just picturing Pong. Just like, what the fuck? Mixed old movie across the map. He's like, this is how it was. It's like Final Fantasy III right there.

Dude, 64 was so fun, though, when it first came out. I remember going to Walmart and playing 007. You know, breaking your neck, looking up at the thing for like two hours. Oh, yes! While mom's out. Because they always mounted the TVs above the case. Exactly. So you just sat there staring straight up and hated it.

Just your neck would be cramping up. We got to go. Your parents would do all of their shopping. It's been 20 minutes, and you're like, I'm done. I'm almost. I'm playing the demo for the fourth time now. Yeah, exactly.

You play the... Six star at Bomb Bomb Land. Or Bomb Bomb whatever that first one is. Yeah, you can play the... On Goldeneye specifically, you can play the first map with the dam. And that was the trial like... Pierce Brosnan.

I remember looking at it and being like, this game looks so realistic. This is so cool. And then you go back and play it now. Donkey Kong mode. What happened to cheat codes in video games? You remember, like, Donkey Kong mode, Big Head, Paintball? Paintball was the craziest.

Like, what happened to cheat codes in video games? GameShark. Oh, my. Do you remember GameShark? What was the other one? GameGenie. GameGenie. Yeah, that was for, like, the Game Boy and stuff.

But the GameShark was cool for the 64 because you, like, plugged in. You plugged your cartridge into the top of it. Dude, that's, it. Those old games. Nintendo, Super Nintendo, Nintendo 64. Nintendo 64, the first game I had. God, that was the most depressing Christmas I ever had.

They bought my family a Nintendo 64 because I grew up poor Mexican. It was like, it was laid away for a year. Hi-ya. Everyone gets to play it. And you got some socks. He's like, congratulations.

And I was like, fuck yes. I got a Nintendo 64. My feet aren't cold anymore. I run upstairs and I got my shitty CRT TV up here that does barely work. But I was like, I got this. I'm good. Put it in. And they didn't get i don't know

if you guys had to have the coaxial cables i didn't have a vcr so i didn't have the like uav like you know yellow yellow red blue or yellow red white i didn't have that so i always had to have coaxial cables so they got me a nintendo 64 with nothing i could plug in so it was just a system i could not play. And I was like, sit there and look at it. I was depressed. Jay. I just remember being like,

do like, what's wrong? I was like, I don't have the stuff to do this. And they're like, Oh, we're sorry. What are you going to do? I was like,

go, go, go to sleep. Wait for tomorrow. Play with my socks. Play with my socks. Play with my socks. Sock gloves on your fucking hands. Wish I could play on my Nintendo 64.

That's so depressing. And then when you find, like, that next day we got it. It was, like, the first thing we went and did. And booting up Mario 64 for the first time is a mind-blowing experience. Because you're like, this is the next year. It is a mind-blowing experience because you're like, this is the next year. This looks like real life. You jump through that first portrait.

It did that. God, that was... Was that like the first real 3D bullshit? Like, good. Good 3D-ish, yeah. Did it come with the Nintendo 64? Mario did? No, I mean, there's the standalone console. They didn't always come with the Nintendo 64? Mario did? No, I mean, there's the standalone console.

They didn't always come with a cartridge. There was packages. Goldeneye had a package, because that's what I got when I got my first 64. My first game, I think, because the Nintendo 64 was the first console I got that was my own. And I had Mario Kart, Goldeneye,

and, oh god, I think I don't remember what the other game was. There was three. I had three games, and I was just like, it wasn't Mario. I didn't get Mario 64 until a little later. You missed out. It was like Turok or something. Turok was fun too, though. I think it

might have been Turok. They had Duke Nukem also. Duke Nukem 3D. My friend had Duke Nukem on his compact Passario HP. You know, like the big CRT monitor. I remember that was good because we'd go over to his house because you could see the titties. Oh, yeah. Yeah, you'd get some fucking titty action.

Guys, look at this. First virtual tits straight up right there. They're little square titties. Yeah, they just shake. They open and shake straight up right there. They're little square titties. They just shake. They have little nipple tassels. Guys, can I borrow a computer room real quick? They come back and you're just murdering them. Like, oh god.

Okay, listen. God, yeah. Turok was violent. It was so bloody. Turok 2. I beat Turok 2 violent it was so bloody dude Turok was Turok 2 I beat Turok 2 without cheats and that game is

fucking long like really I like that you have to say that without cheats again like those cheat codes were

the norm it was every game had cheat codes that was just it they were brutal and you had cheat codes and that's how you just played them

I had buddies that would just use the game shark game you had cheat codes and that's how you just played them I had buddies that would just use the game shark game genie whatever on all video games yeah whatever it's fine

and at that age I was like fucking pussy you gotta beat it with nothing and then complete it now at my age I'm like

give me the cheat codes cause I don't have time to do it everything's online you can't cheat anymore if you cheat now you get banned from every platform

it's like I cheated once in WoW and they banned me off every other MMO because they're all connected. You can't cheat anymore. It's just not a thing. Or if you do cheat, you're a giant piece of shit because it's multiplayer stuff. Single player games don't have cheats anymore. It doesn't matter what game it is. They don't.

Turning into a Twitch channel back in the day and you have DK mode on. Your chat's just hating you for cheating. Piece piece of fucking shit turn off your cheeks like do you remember vice city and just doing all the money cheats like swapping out cars and like that was the only way that was on the controller too you could just do it from yeah well that's what i'm saying like old the all the older games had different uplift you know like all that older games had fucking different up, up, lift, lift you know like all that bullshit you could do. What games were you playing for Nintendo 64? Oh dude you remember Perfect Dark

on Nintendo 64? Oh the fucking the laptop gun. I was just about to say the laptop gun. It was the first game ever where you could attach a remote mind

to someone and have them run somewhere and then blow them up blow some other people up yeah. Perfect Dark was freaking awesome man.

Did you ever play the second one it came out it was one of the launch games for Xbox 360 no no when I won

an Xbox 360 I had it yeah straight up my Taco Bell no Mountain Dew oh yeah

you collect the caps every 10 minutes dude it was called every10minutes.com and I had I had broke my arm in high school and the 360 was launching soon

And I had a buddy that worked at a bottle redemption place I had nothing to do I was like hey man give me your bottle caps You don't need them He was like okay here And he gave me a bag of them And I just sat at home Because I had to get my arm

And a cast came home Typed them in one handed Put in like 30 caps Next thing you know it's just like West or Georgia Vermont I'm like that's gotta be me Because there was no name. And it was like a week of just Georgia, Vermont,

with no email, nothing. You know, my parents are just, there's no way you won. I'm like, who else lives in this hoedown town in Vermont other than me? And then it was like two weeks later, I won it, and they sent it to you like two weeks before they came out in stores.

And you got two games. I was able to get everybody got a game called Cameo the Elements of Power which was this weird game where you were this little fairy and you could turn into different elements. Oh no I don't know that one. It was actually a lot of fun.

It's the only game I had for a while. The second week of pre-release they sent me Need for Speed Underground I think was the launch one and I played the hell week of pre-release, they sent me Need for Speed Underground, I think was the launch one. Nice. And I played the hell out of that. And then the first day it came out, Perfect Dark was one of the launch titles, I think.

And I had that. It's Perfect Dark 2. And it was awful. But I played that game so much. I didn't even know it existed, so it had to be terrible. Yeah. I mean, it looked good. It was a shooter on on you know the

xbox 360 launch but it was just not good that's bad when there's like because perfect dark everyone knows perfect dark it's that one that'd be like have you played halo 6 it's like they made halo 6 yeah yeah it was for the xbox 4 3 you're like oh i didn't even play that one it must have been trash like no one knows about it because again perfect dark perfect dark was good because it was the other than the other golden eye it was Perfect Dark was good because it was the other GoldenEye. It was literally the other GoldenEye. It was like, do you have GoldenEye? It's that meme.

It's like, Mom, can we get GoldenEye? We have GoldenEye at home, and it's Perfect Dark at home. That's what it is. So good, though. I got your Mission Impossible, and you're like, God damn it, Mom. This is a trash can. Remember the x-ray gun? The sniper rifle, the x-ray gun the sniper rifle

the x-ray gun yeah see through the walls like a railgun yeah they need to bring that stuff back and remake remake perfect art but like I mean they did not a piece of shit what was your favorite game for the Nintendo 64 dude probably probably one of the Zelda's ocarinacarina of Time. Ocarina of Time. Ocarina of Time was freaking good, man. I still have the strategy guide for that. Damn. Yeah, I got that upstairs.

I still, I still, I played Majora's Mask before Ocarina of Time. No doubt. That one came out after. Yeah. Yep. But I didn't, I just, I was poor. I couldn't afford many games. And it was like Christmas here's

here's Zelda I'm like oh it's Majora's Mask which turns out it's still Majora's Mask is still like my favorite

Zelda game oh it's one of the top games period don't get me wrong Ocarina of Time is definitely better but I just that was like

you know when you're when you're young you have those games that are always gonna be like ingrained into your head and for me it was Majora's Mask

so like Ocarina of Time Majora's mask that will always forever be like number one and two games of all time i think we'll have to talk about on another like episode when it's like now you see those games like ocarina time and you see the seven minute speed run of the entire fucking oh my god and you're like okay so if you look to the north and you jump three times back, rotate one click left and run, then shuffle, that will put you up in line with this. You'll take the jar at that moment and it's going to tell you to the after fight of Ganondorf. And you skip the entire fight sequence. You're like, that's not a speed run anymore. No, it's crazy watching this.

You have a stroke. Yeah. You're like, holy shit. These dudes have made this game. I mean, Mario is down to like eight minutes, I think, a Mario 64 speedrun. That's wild. Here's me. It takes me months as a child.

Dude, I need to start doing speedruns of trying to get into my passwords. I have so many passwords. I'm on hour four. I'm like, I don't know. It's the reset email. I can't get into that one either. Okay, guys, ready? Timing.

Okay. Okay. Incorrect. Incorrect. We got a capture image. Okay. Look at the traffic lights. Oh, my God. incorrect we got a capture image okay look at the traffic lights oh my god i have never felt more like a bot in my entire life than trying to do captures like do the lights i'm like okay just

the light part or like the the whole light or like the light pole too because nothing's working now i have to do bikes but it's showing me a bicycle and a motorcycle which one is it but it says bike is that a pedal bike so one is it? But it says bike. Is that a pedal bike? So I do the pedal bike. The pedal bike doesn't work, so now I got to do boats. That boat's on a trailer, but that boat's in the water. Do they both boat still?

Like, it's not. Matt was with me when I was doing one. It was like, find the grass, and it was like all space images. I was like. Am I that high? Skip. Next. Find water. Okay. Is this still space images? Next. Find water.

Okay, is this still space images? Next. Just like trying to find one you can actually break down. It's like, oh, thank God. Find the crosswalk. There is one. Next. Oh.

We got five more minutes. We can wrap this one up. That's a pretty good start. Yeah. That's a solid one. Introducing ourselves and things. And can wrap this one up. That's a pretty good start. Yeah. That's a solid one. Introducing ourselves and things. And thanks and introducing Ranch Water

original hard seltzer by Texas. We love you. We're terrible at this. This is going to be great. This is our podcast. A year in the making. We've only been talking

about this for a month, Cody. I swear. It's fine. You were the first choice. Definitely the first. Wait till we get Kings on here. You guys will see what they're talking about. His voice is...

God damn, it's magical. Hey, guys. Kings here. What the fuck is that? I'm going to show him that. Flashlight. Flashlight. Flashlight.

Flashlight. Flashlight. Flashlight. Flashlight. He's doing ad reads. Oh. I'll call him if I have to and make him do it. This is it. This is what you're here for.

Perfect. Well, I mean, where do we find each other on socials? We asked that, right? You go first. Cody, go first. Donut operator everywhere. I'm batty. I'm batty on Twitch, but it's batty streams everywhere else on stuff.

Shut up, Eli. You can't get batty, okay? It's not. You know how I got batty on Twitch? I took it from somebody else. Wait, how do you take it? With a gun. No, no.

I emailed Twitch. I'm like, hey, man, this batty guy has been inactive for like four days. Can I have his name? They're like, sure. Four days. His mom died. He just, you know. Yeah, he's like, man, I can't wait to get back to streaming.

Your username has been deleted. No, they changed it. That was his decline in that dude's life was Batty taking. He's like has Batty on a picture dart with darts in it somebody came into my chat named Batty0416 and he goes you took my name

I banned him immediately like he doesn't exist anymore history's written by the winners misclick and then Eli underscore double tap on everything. Double fap.

Unless it's parlor. That doesn't exist anymore, does it? It doesn't work yet. Never mind. They had a huge data breach because they used to take everybody's ID. You had to use your ID to verify. They got straight candid. I was going to say they got... Amazon kicked them off their servers because they were hosted on Amazon.

Guys, we're not getting political. No politicals. I love you guys. I love you guys. We love you guys. How do we end it? Are we doing a high five? I love you.

How are we doing that? That's it. Say it back a moment of silence yeah done fuck everything