Unsubscribe Podcast - 101 - Houston, We Have A Problem ft. Houston Jones & Leon Lush

Episode Date: April 13, 2023

WELCOME TO YOUR NEW CLASS. UNSUB 101.  SCHOOL IS IN SESSION WITH @LeonLush and @HoustonJones   Unsubscribe Podcast Ep101 - Houston, we have a problem ------------------------------ GO CHECK OUT OUR FRIENDS:  @LeonLush   https://www.youtube.com/leonlush ​ @HoustonJones   https://www.youtube.com/houstonjones ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!! Manscaped Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code UNSUB at https://www.manscaped.com/ Raycon Go to www.BUYRAYCON.com/UNSUB TODAY to get 15% off your order. Kershaw Knives Use Code UNSUB20 for 20% off at https://kershaw.kaiusa.com/ Orders over $100 ship for free!  Babbel Right now, when you purchase a 3-month Babbel subscription, you’ll get an additional 3 months for FREE. That’s 6 months, for the price of 3! Just go to https://www.babbel.com/ and use promo code UNSUB.  ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW:  https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/  CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie-           @Baddie Streams   https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -Eli_Doubletap-             @Eli Doubletap   https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by Fluck https://www.twitch.tv/fluck Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

It won't take long to tell you Neutral's ingredients. Vodka, soda, natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. We're both pretty wide men, so we might have to get pretty cozy on this one. Very wide.

Good. Yeah, you're stuffing just real emaciated Granthurum types. Honestly. Yeah. Have you guys ever considered doing an ASMR podcast? Come on. Yeah, everything's good. It's recording. Have you guys ever considered doing an ASMR podcast? All this time. Hi. Come on.

Everything's good. It's recording. Grand Thuram is his new name, by the way. Grand Thuram? Yeah. Grand Thuram instead of Grand Thum. Great Thuram. Switch the. Hi, everyone.

Welcome to the thing. Are you okay? Yeah. Is he stroking? Yeah. Is that stroking? Yeah. Is that a stroke? My gosh. Where's the shot?

Right here. We're doing blood oath. Can you hand me this metal cup right here that I had? Oh, yes. Oh, your metal sunglasses. Nice. What are the macros on this? I think it's 0070.

Yeah, that's a good guess. Whoa! This is a threat. Nah, this would break upon hitting me. I was going to say, is that something you used already? I feel like that would puncture immediately. Nah, nah, yeah. This would break upon hitting you?

Yeah, yeah. What? Because this is not battle ready. You see, they make ones. This chain would not hold up under pressure. I mean, I've been flailing this motherfucker in my stream room. But have you hit anyone? If there's a man that knows the craftmanship of a flail, it is Houston Jones.

Hit my thigh. Hit my thigh and see what happens. What? No. No. Only his liver gets hurt right now. Fine. He has to be the one responsible for his injuries, okay?

Yeah. You hit your own thigh. Keep that over there. I haven't sued anyone yet. That was a goal? You just sue us? That's right. That was a game.

This ain't a waiver. Your life is racially ambiguous and batty. That guy's fucking ridiculous And we don't know Best not to ask yourself why But my friend you've arrived Welcome to unsubscribe Batty go!

Check me out on Twitch Make sure you like, comment and subscribe The bell! And check out my YouTube I'm doing nerd content Camera punch in. Enhance. Enhance.

Out of regs. Smell good today. Body wash, pomades, and everything else. Mud water is a coffee alternative with four adaptogenic mushrooms and, this word, I'm not even sure, a yervedic herbs. With only a fraction of the caffeine as a cup of coffee, you get energy without the jitters and crash. We're still in minute one. I'm taking the over-under

on 25 minutes so this thing gets swung as hard as possible at somebody. I hope it's me, honestly. Hand that to Batty. You'll survive. You'll survive.

I've been hit with worse. You've been hit with worse. I will crumple like an aluminum can. It's fine now, bitch. You're much stronger than aluminum. Give me that blood oath.

Thank you. The blood oath? Give me the blood oath. Oh, you want the whole bottle physically mentally? Yeah, God, okay make my little drink real quick where we pop open the toppy Well you tomorrow guys Thank thankfully we only have two podcasts to board back-to-back drinking drink Thankfully, we only have two podcasts to record. Back to back. Drinking. Drink.

Ha! Might as well start off on the first one. The second one will probably be... Old Coast, right? You'll be ready by the second. Cheers, boys. Cheers! Fuck.

That one's a bitey. That good? That's a bitey. Yeah. Oh, shit. I already cracked it. Sorry. I don't have one to crack. Welcome to this great podcast.

As always, we have Eli Double Tap, myself, Batty Streams, and our two very strong, wide, powerful-looking guests. One definitely shorter than the other. We have Leon Lush. And of course, Houston! I'm the tall one, right?

Yeah, obviously from the... I'm actually of course, Hugh Staggert. I'm the tall one, right? Yeah. Obviously from the I'm actually punching, I'm punching over and you can't tell. I'm standing currently. I just had the shirt a little dead point.

I walked in, I mean, it was like, that chair, get the fuck rid of it. Don't want it here. I'm standing in the entire box.

I spent the last six years convincing people I'm tall by throwing myself in the waist up. I'm standing for this podcast. Six feet. I'm six feet. You don't have pants on either. You're just walking stiff-legged everywhere.

I'm currently walking right now. So smooth. You look so good. I keep my levels. Oh, my God. You didn't tell us. I had no idea we were starting, by the way. They were just like, hey, shots and ball in the room.

That's how it goes. Every time. Catch everyone off guard. Hit you with a shot and then we just go right into it. It's better. We call it the Cosby. The Cosby. Oh, no, we don't.

We don't call it that. That joke was delayed. I'm in your dad. I like you were like. I was like wait where okay alright yeah that's how it's gonna be today he turns down Eli's money

yeah just immediately is it because I like to talk like this just a little more no no just fuck you we're joined by our beautiful boys leon lush he was kind of rude that you put your hand in front of you're like you just immediately blocked houston when you did that it's fine well if i did this and houston jones can you just that's

what what hi guys welcome i'm so excited for you guys oh my god i want to say thank you so much for having me back. This is my second time on the podcast. I was here for- Nobody remembers the first time. I think- well that's because it was before you got the cool studio. So who cares about- You know what's the fucked up thing? Your episode was like our worst performing episode. That's not true! I just checked it out! Nope! I just checked it out!

And there's a few around it that are like- Bro! Like when you guys first started and filmed on potatoes, those did worse. 100%. Well, notice after he came on, the podcast started doing better. It's true. But also like, okay, you're like in Texas

with a bunch of badass gun guys that have 60 billion subscribers and you get this like Northeastern cuck. It could be some like Boston hit on nobody knows and you brought him on the podcast for some reason. What do you expect to happen? Little do they know. I'm worth it.

I mean something. You're special, Leon. I just met you today. Yeah. Pretty good guy. Listen, I just met Houston about two hours ago, I would say. We had sushi together.

Did you hit him with a flail? We shared some sake together. And the only thing I know about Houston is that he absolutely beats the piss out of his own body for views. And it's incredible it's not that weird for pleasure yeah well yeah i say views it's pleasure that turns into views that's a little bit of masochism guys it just shows up in a gimp suit i'm like what the fuck are you wearing he's like hurt me but behind the

scenes hurt me behind the scenes he's a very level-headed, nice dude and fun to be around. He's also extremely jacked and handsome. Which kind of caught me off guard. I knew that, but like, I feel like he's on another program recently. He's just looking. I hate when I was pulling up in the airport. I was like, where is he? It's the only dude with the jawline like this.

I'm like, well, there he is. You do have a beautiful jawline. Bro, look at that thing. Some people have like, compared me to the crimson chin. Yes. Oh my God. Yeah. Actually, move that to thing. Some people have like compared me to the crimson chin. Yes. Oh my God. Yeah, actually move that to the side.

Just turn towards me. That is outrageous, dude. That is like, you look like the American dad a little bit. Do you get that? Yeah, you must get that sometimes.

All right. I can open a can of beans. You got a can of beans? How about we try it? You just like, you just start rotating at work. I'm just going to

throw my skull in the middle of my skin. We have a Mexican Coke over there. We can just try to pop the bottle on your... You're just looking for reasons to fuck him right now. I told him he could hit me with this. We have a Mexican Coke. He just hits it over your head. It worked.

It's a cat bat. It was glass and that was his skull. You know, speaking of that, I did test that twisted key tea video where the guy got smashed in the with a guy got you got fucking yeah, I was like I want to try that yeah, it hurts pretty bad The full one yeah, then we made a then we made a bat out of it We taped the one dude like six of them together and beat me with it. They're pretty lethal Because what else would you do after smashing? smashing a full can of beer. You gotta get creative. Make a bat out of the empties. I mean, you gotta hit that 10 minute mark on the video. Minerals! Minerals to play! Eight's the minimum now.

I feel like it's unnecessary. Is that how you started the video? Taping it onto the bat? You're like, well, I gotta make it there. No, I gotta do it. You didn't wanna skip through the initial burn. When you were beamed with the can, did it burst like it did in the video? We had to do a few smacks.

Because we build up the power, right? You don't want to go full power right away. Full force. You never go full force. That's reckless, okay? And I'm not a reckless kind of guy. He did a video with Airsoft 50. I'm not a reckless kind of guy.

He did a video with Air Force 50. You have to ramp up the kilojoules man you can't just come in steaming hot that's smart okay easy and view time works fantastic but i will say this so you've been hit with like a billion paintballs probably at this point yeah yeah so like it hurts more when it doesn't break right is 100 yeah yeah so it probably was worse when you're smashing your head with a full can and it wasn't yeah i wanted it to like explode because then it relieves the pressure and it distributes the i'm i'm a bit of a physicist instead pardon me while i get into when it does dr leon lush everyone when it doesn't break you're just giving yourself concussions so

it's like hitting yourself with a brick almost with a little bit more i did do a steel chair a couple times okay yeah. But not a brick. Not a brick yet. But that's a good idea. Man, come on. This is how the drive home, I forgot he used to do this. Homeboy used to drink

until you got demonetized for drinking. I got strikes. I didn't let him finish the story. He's like, oh, did I tell you about the time i drank everclear i was like shut the fuck up we're driving to sushi hold on to that conversation park go eat come back go it was a brilliant idea okay i got the strongest everclear you can i think it was like 190 proof so rubbing alcohol legitimately ethanol it is now we're my truck ever clear is 97 or 95 percent alcohol

yeah yeah so viewers delicious you know great idea i was going to try to drink as much as i can you know i got a little breathalyzer that i can test and everything those things are the worst game to play yeah uh well i can't believe youtube didn't like this idea let's face it hey this one didn't get removed i'd remove that one myself but uh very ethical of you uh i so so i you know an hour or so in uh two hours in i i blacked out uh how much did you drink that's i drank half a bottle i drank half a bottle of it okay okay and bottle of it. Okay. Okay. And how, and ever clear. Of grain alcohol. Yeah. And how fast?

Uh, over the course of like two hours, two and a half. Uh, I blew a four, eight or something. Not a point. It's just a four.

No, a point is a point for you. 48% disintegration. Uh, at one point I convinced my cameraman that i wanted to pogo stick i don't remember doing it yes and uh i immediately fell and almost hit my head on cement but which is we had to cut out about 90 minutes of the video because i was just sobbing about something i was just crying so we're like we better cut that out that happened to my friend when he got blacked out one time in high school yeah immediately got real emotional what were you

crying about i don't remember it does exist uh i don't want to watch it myself uh that's one of those when you're crying when we start a reaction 90 minutes of blacked out Houston Jones crying. Emotional pain. He's not crying. And his head, he's forming senses. He's like. Wow. He's really crying about a fence and a cow.

I'm so confused what's going on right now. But long story short, I blacked out for about five hours and a cow. I was so confused what's going on right now. But long story short, I blacked out for about five hours and woke up in my kitchen talking to my cameraman. I was like, whoa. I'm back. We're back.

He's good. Was the IV in? My wife just came here from a Zion. He's like, we're good. I never puked. Never puked or anything. Never puked? What?

Yeah. Why weren't your friends calling for an ambulance? There were just two people in my house. Just me and my cameraman. Which is worse. It is not a cameraman's job to ruin content for an ambulance. He filmed. He filmed.

I will say he did stop me from drinking more Everclear because I was trying to wrestle the bottle away from him. Ooh, probably smart. That's scary. You're strong. But I was pissed drunk very uh falling over a lot so so that said so i feel like so take me back because i don't know the story in like kind of your initial soiree into how you started your youtube channel which kind of revolves around personal torture yes self-induced torture it's educational content educational content of course

susan well sorry not susan. I'm a new guy. Fucking new guy is. Fuck off. Other guy. Yeah, other guy, Susan 2.0. Mike. Mike. Mike.

Mike from YouTube. Was there, was this a thing you did before you started uploading it just for fun? And you were like, hey, let's make a video. So, like, my entire life, like, growing up, I would do stupid stunts, painful things. Jackass. Jackass. Jackass. Yeah. It's not unusual, sir.

Yeah. Stevo type shit. Yeah. Just to make people laugh and whatnot. When I started my channel, I had won a bodybuilding show in like 2015 and I had done martial arts my entire life. So I started my channel based on fitness and martial arts. Okay.

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I was hoping they just had to... Oh, the mighty have fallen. I was hoping we didn't. He didn't link that together. It would have been way better if you just didn't link that. I was like, yeah, I won a bodybuilding competition, did martial arts, so I did YouTube. So back to my story. I was actually just flexing really quick.

Actually, my original inspiration for YouTube, I was a big World of Warcraft guy back in high school. Oh, he's a mega nerd. We can get along. Martial arts, bodybuilding, World of Warcraft. That just makes sense. Oh, God. Yeah. What?

Me in another dimension. More jacked and a better jaw. I know. Listen, your jaw. Oh, God. Yeah. What? Me in another dimension. More jacked and a better job. I know. Listen, your job's great, too. Yeah, it's kind of... You get rid of that beard and he's like, all of us. What can I say? I'm a living meme of what happens when you get married.

There's a reason we all have shitty beards. Well, Batty has a good beard. This defines our job. I have a great beard. You just watch your God. Dude, you're going to shave his beard for an episode. One.

I have a great jawline. Sorry. I really do. There's photos. Eli seen him. You can deny it. I don't know right now. Cause the weight,

but Betty, you lost a lot. I mean, episode two and Betty is a blimpo. I always forgot how much you lost. 60 pounds. When I was casually

scrolling thumbnails earlier to research, he took up less percentage as the number gets higher. I lost weight and we shrunk my face on the screen. We just were like, they were early adopters of AI and I lost weight and we shrunk my face on the screen. We just were like, that's Batty. They were early adopters of AI.

They actually made his face fit on the fucking camera. Make thumbnail. They're like, yeah. Make Batty's face smaller. Is there anyone to move this camera outside so they can get him on the fucking frame, please? They're like, no. Batty has his own table. Is there a negative six?

All right, Leon, let's pull up your old videos. We'll bring back the tomato man. I can only dish it because I wasn't fat fuck most of my life as well. I also had to set up my negative 35 millimeter ladder across the street so I could fit my upper torso in the fucking rain. What'd you get? One. Just one? I actually turn it inside out. It's backwards. lens? One. One. I actually turn it inside out.

It's backwards. It's backwards. It's backwards. It's backwards. So if you make it on the telescope. That's what I do. There's one camera nerd watching our podcast right now. Dying. Everyone's just like, I don't give a fuck.

I'm laughing because they're laughing. That's for the camera nerds up there. Just laugh. Wait, no, man. You're just playings up there. Just laugh. Wait, no, man. You're just playing time, brother. Dick size. Everyone can get that telescope analogy. Okay.

That's why I want to try it back down to Earth. Because we've all looked through like binoculars backwards or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Totally. We're normal people.

We're normal. Totally normal. We're just like you guys. We're just normal idiots. Yeah. Eli, do you know this episode was brought to you by Manscaped? Eli? Looks like the carpet does match the drapes.

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Make sure you go out there and tell your buddies to go check their balls or check them for them. Check your boys and check your boys' boys. Check your boys' boys. Check your boys and check your boys boys. Check your boys boys. Check your boys boys. That's the new saying. It's just check your boys boys. World of Warcraft.

I really derailed it. I love it. It's so much fun. Your episode sucked. I'm going to tell you guys right now. The reason he's still better about it is because I shit on him the whole episode. You were so rude! I was so mean to her.

We were friends! You were so mean to her. I mean, this is not funny, though. It was just... It was not funny! Nobody laughed! You guys seem like you're really, really close. We are, yeah.

I like... I can just tell by the, like, you know, the tension between you two. We bet you're really married. And Mossy. I got you. The word just slipped out my mouth. We fuck like a married couple. I just you. The word just slipped out my mouth. We fuck like a married couple.

I just like every time they're like, okay, go, you're like, and then Barry's like, fuck you, Leo! That was my bad. That was my bad. I apologize. I'm just pumped that if this episode tanks, I can blame it on you. Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who's gonna blame it on you?

You have a track record. I already had one. Okay. Yeah, well, it's not gonna happen twice. It's great. It's impossible. It's gonna happen twice. It's never happened twice. It's great. It's impossible.

It's never gonna happen twice. It's never happened twice. Fuck you guys. Go on. Just don't put my name in the title. That's all. Cush. Just put it on. We had Demo Ranch back again.

Yeah, yeah. Surprise. You just use his body and put Matt's face on him. We should do everything else. Just AI him. Yeah, a little splash, sure. All right, as he's getting a little splash,

my story. World of Warcraft, big World of Warcraft nerd growing up and through high school, saw people on YouTube making a living doing it. So that was like the first time I had my idea of like,

you know, doing YouTube. That was like, you know, 2010 through 2012 when i was in war when i was out of war for three years at that point hey you were in war and i was in war in the same as the arena. Arena is war sometimes. Houston Jones compares veteran experience of Iraq combat and friends dying to arena. Yeah, there.

We'll make your face small, too. It's fine. Can I respond to that? Can I salute? Is this? This hand. In his defense. Now it's the wrong hand.

In his defense, World of Warcraft gets pretty sweaty. I gotta salute. You ever been in a raid? You know, come on. It's kind of like a trump card though.

I feel like if you've been in actual war, like if you've not been in war, you can't really say anything. It's stupid. You're like, you're right. All of my collective experiences have not really been that bad. I'm just a, you know, worthless city.

And now you just start doing push-ups. This was one of you, right? Plus another. If there was ever the time of the plan. Alright, I disrespected someone. Hit me. Give it the old fucking self-treat.

Don't you dare. No. Actually, I don't. No. There's a chair. It's a chair. We have extras. You can break it.

Is he about to self-flagellate right now? It seemed like a good idea, but. God, it's fucking hot. Sorry, what? Okay, go. World of Warcraft. Man, this is, we really get on tangents. This entire podcast

is super short. World of Warcraft inspired me. One bodybuilding started a channel, did about 10 months of fitness content, and then I had a video, bodybuilder versus where I was acting like a stereotypical cocky bodybuilder, getting shot with paintballs in my parents' backyard, and that went,

got a million views in a month, and so I was like the bodybuilding stuff i'm getting hurt smart smart and it took i remember that i think that video going viral i remember seeing that that was gonna say that it was the same one way back in the day yeah it was i don't even know why either it was like i think the algorithm for whatever reason just chose it yeah that was maybe hearing the mind that was after the thumbnail was probably pretty good. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's all the typical tropes of like

what people click on on YouTube. It's like, oh, this dude's getting the shit beat out of him. Yeah. That's great. It's like, here's a cool video about his life and his bodybuilding. Don't give a shit. Yeah.

Make him hurt you. Way. That's just nerds being like, yeah, fuck you, Jock, for pushing me into a locker in high school but i do think it's funny kind of like youtube like i think everyone starts out doing youtube just throwing stuff at the wall yes right until something sticks it's funny that my thing that stuck was uh me hurting myself and it felt like a natural progression to just keep going down that road yeah yeah which just you know you always want to one-up yourself right you got to make

your content better crazier and then it's just you know next thing you know, you always want to one-up yourself, right? You got to make your content better, crazier. And then it's just, you know, next thing you know, I'm getting kicked in the liver by UFC fighters. Now, next thing you know, you're like, I'm going to deadlift and tell a shit myself. Well, that's also a good idea, okay? Wearing a diaper. That's a good concept. I poo, I lose, okay?

Did you take laxatives before? Yeah, so what I did, I bought those sugar-free gummy bears. Oh, my God, I've heard of those. Those are bad. Yeah, I've heard. Hey, my God. I've heard of those. Those are bad. Yeah, I've heard. Hey, got a couple pounds if you want some. Thought about handing them out on Halloween. Are you really?

I mean, I thought about it, but I figured I was getting in trouble. Your lawyer has advised you not to admit to doing that. Yeah, my non-existent lawyer told me not to do that. For little kids who are shitting themselves when they get home. that. I basically ate those until I puked. And then I was like, I'm ready to shit myself. Put on the diapers. And then I loaded up like 405 on the deadlift and was repping it out and just squirted my diaper. Were you trying or was it a natural progression?

Well, you see, you don't make a video called I Poo, I Lose, and Don't Poo. Okay? The end goal is to poo. That's what everyone's waiting for. Was it a surprise poo, though? I knew. Listen, my stomach was so loose, I knew it was coming. Okay?

You got a weightlifting belt on. You strap that thing in. Right? You tense up. And I'm pulling sumo, which, you know, sumo is a legitimate way to deadlift. Don't tell me it's not. Hey! Hey! Yeah, okay. Look at his arms. Look way to deadlift. Don't tell me it's not. Hey, hey.

Yeah, okay. Look at his arms. Look at yours. Shut the fuck up. I was going to. Listen, my head's the ones reaching out of frame, though. You can get as wide as you want, but I'll always be 6'3". But you're standing up. I told you not to talk about it.

You're in your weird legs. I have a bit of a snacking problem no you're just in a bulk okay i've been in a 37 year ball and you look great i only i only know that abs exist from what i've seen on the internet certainly never just wait till he cuts okay i'm saying and i tell i'd say this to my wife all the time. I'm like, honey, just wait till I actually take it serious. It gets easier. Oh, with age. I've been doing that for 10 years.

Yeah, oh yeah. It's crazy. The older I get, it's like, the older I get, the more I eat. I'm like, wow, the weight's just falling off. These abs are just every day I wake up with. Yeah, man, my whiskey and IPA habits, like, doesn't even faze me at all. Wake up, fresh chipper. I'm not crying at 11 a.m.

wondering why the fuck I'm doing what I'm doing. Like I had one cup of wine last night. Why am I hurting? You're at the age where it, when you go down. Yeah. So I will, to give myself credit, I'm very,

I think part of what comes along with that though is knowing your limits, right? So like I'm very in tune with where I'm at sobriety wise and alcohol wise and also like what i've had so like if i start the night out a couple beers and i switch to vodka sodas i can get real fucked up stay vodka sodas and i like go home have a nice little meal take an hour off chug some water i'm chilling the next day but if i get fucked up and it's like you're at that point someone someone's like, oh, let's go to the next place or this thing. And it's like, oh, someone bought a shot of tequila and they're doing this. And the next thing you know, you're snorting Ritalin off.

And before you know it, hangover, which I've never done, honey. She's not going to watch this. I know. Of course not. That's why, like I said, it is like for a joke, but she'll never see that. You could literally put this in her inbox and she delete spam please watch your husband is strippers spam get these all the time flags yeah right well for real no i'm not doing that'm not doing that. But now I lost my train of thought.

But the point was. Riddling lines and booze and hangovers. You know you're in tune. You're in tune. Oh, hangovers. Yeah, so I do. Once or twice a year, I get a hangover that reminds me how old I am. Yeah. And that's what makes me set my limitations otherwise.

Because I can, you know, I think back to college or whatever the fuck. Nope. Wow. I could, you could literally, I could drink until 5 a.m.m and wake up at 9 30 and go on a five mile run be fine and now just times change yeah hangovers kind of suck now it's not right no it's not because you lose a whole day there's not a little hangover you lose a whole day you're either like i'm all right the next day or you're fucked there is no like oh i feel shit no it's your your app no i really yeah it's like there's always like i feel shitty but i'm functional i can do whatever i need to do and then there's the flip side of that which is uh i can't like this day is

completely i have liver nausea at any moment yeah yeah and then you've lost that and you have to get another full night's sleep to feel even it's than normal. It's like 8 p.m. You're like, oh, okay, now I can eat something. It goes into the two-day hangovers now. And the crazy part is, though, and this is the way I think of it. So, like, the only difference between those two scenarios, say, the night you're out having fun, like 90% of that night. The bread.

The bread. The bread. I want to know your obsession with bread. Brady just really likes bread, guys. We went out to a sushi restaurant earlier, and Baddy doesn't really like fish, so he's ordered a loaf of bread through Uber Eats. Holy shit. That is actually a loaf of fucking 7-Eleven.

You ordered fucking white bread from 7-Eleven? You started with a salad? You ordered a dude? What the fuck is that? Are you going to make some PB&Js from my time to go to school tomorrow? You wasted somebody's time with this? If I would have been so pissed for that fucking Uber Eats guy that was like, hey. Before you open it, you have to fucking eat that entire lunch you don't eat that whole thing you know if you dip it in water fish that into your throat

i will flail that down your gullet fucking hit him with the bread i need some bread just dip it in water it'll make it go down i mean This will help with the hangovers we were talking about. That Uber Eats guy, Batty, was like this. He was like, okay, go to 7-Eleven and get white bread and Red Bull. All right. Man, the meal of champions. White bread and Red Bull.

There's four of them. This guy's on a map. This is going to be like an order minimum, right? That guy was driving up. He's like, this is going to be like an order minimum, right? That guy was driving up. He's like, this is going to be in a bad neighborhood. What the fuck is going on right now? Four Red Bulls and a loaf of white bread. Mr. K's.

Or whatever the local marks are around here. 7-Eleven. Okay, 7-Eleven. It's from 7-Eleven. We have multiple podcasts to film today. I'm not going to stop drinking. Or eating, apparently. But, I mean, couldn't you find a more delicious carb to eat?

I can't. I feel like you're so destitute right now. Yeah. This would be like me, like, you get drunk in someone's house, and I, like, scavenge the fridge, and I eat a piece of bread. I'm going to scramble you up some eggs.

I'm going to cook a little sausage. I need to get's house and I like scavenge the fridge and I eat a piece of bread. We'll call this early. I'm gonna scramble you up some eggs. I'm gonna cook a little sausage. I need to get you fed, bro. I feel obligated to get you fed. Would you get me for McDonald's buns? Y'all happy? Just buns. Just the online one where it's like no meat, no cheese. No mustard, no ketchup.

Well, a little cheese. Come on, red bun. Red bun. A little cheese. Come on. It's a Big Mac. It's podcast night, boys. Dangling it out. Bones only for the lads. Y'all were like, you ain't going to order that bread. I was like, I'm trying to prove a point now.

I'm going to order that bread. You know what? You proved your point. Tell that. That bread's going to sit there on that floor for the next two weeks. Oh, I know. It's what? You proved your point. Tell that. That bread's gonna sit there on that floor. And mold. For the next two weeks. Oh, I know. It's gonna mold and grow something.

You just wanted one slice the whole time. That's all you wanted. Yeah, literally. I was just trying to prove a point. For a bit, you know? I'm gonna walk in next month. I'm gonna see a scurry across the ceiling. Ah!

The French one! Woo! Ah! The rest is actually my weird fears. Yeah. I'll make d'Ores in a kebab. Definitely later tonight, I'm gonna be into that bread. For sure. For sure. Yeah. Definitely later tonight. I'm going to be into that bread.

Like 2am, like looking at the cabinets and white bread, you know, I'll eat a slice as well. All of you. Okay. We're actually going to go into a single topic. Wait,

first. Okay. First topic. Easy. Superpower. Cool. Oh yeah. That's topic. Wait, first topic, easy, superpower. Cool. We talked about yours actually last week or the week before. Okay, last week. Yeah, last week.

I was like, we love Leon. You know the superpower routine? Yes. You watched a podcast. A podcast or two, maybe three. You watched a podcast. A podcast. Or two. Maybe three. I don't know.

Keep track. Cliff notes. No worries. I ordered some peanut butter. Did you? And then you're going to do another one with jelly? Just peanut butter. Straight up just peanut butter. Okay.

Do you guys not do that? Do you guys not do that? Peanut butter only? Peanut butter bread? Peanut butter sandwich? It's so dry. Hear me out. Peanut butter, banana, and honey. Oh Peanut butter sandwich? It's so dry. Hear me out. Peanut butter, banana, and honey.

Oh, so I've done peanut butter and honey, but banana. That's real munchy food right there. It's good. No? Peanut butter and bread. That was my poor people snack. That was forever. That's all we had.

Yeah. My son hates jelly. Could afford the peanut butter, but not the jelly? Not really making sense here. I mean. I mean. Oh, we have a refrigerator. Smucker's Sweet. I don't know what, Oh, we have a- Who smuckers squeeze?

I don't know what that is. What was it? That's been here for a month. Well, I didn't know until I hit it either. Okay. I wish that was like one of those DM, it was a DMT pin. Houston's like,

Ah! Ah! Yeah, I feel DMT out, it is sunk into this chair. It would have been existing outside of me. Houston, let me know what you do. Well, I just make sure it's not DMT, huh?

It's not. It's nicotine. Not yet. So someone left that? Micah or... It was Micah. I know exactly who left that. Micah. He left two Micah. I know exactly who left that. Micah. He left two. He's a big nicotine guy.

Wow, I think you'd keep better track of that if you're a big nicotine guy. He loses a lot. Nah, those are easy to lose. I won't make you expound on that part. Hey, Batty, guess who's been making knives since 1974? Is it Kershaw? It is. Kershaw blades.

These things are awesome. If you're wondering how sharp are these blades, look at this Santa hat. All Kershaw knives are designed, tested, and manufactured in the USA where they employ over 400 U.S. citizens. This is great. Stop. Stop. stop, Eli. No matter what your budget is, Kershaw is making knives for you, whether it's a $20 flip open or a $200 automatic.

Do the thing, do the automatic. This thing like opens up with the force of eight sons. It's like. The force of eight, that's the only way to describe it describe it also if you manage to break one of these wonderful knives uh they do offer free replacement parts you just go to their website and fill out a parts request whether it's springs or screws whatever maybe they will fix it for you that's what i love about kershaw kershaw makes some good good blades you're looking for some good blades as batty was saying, from really cheap, like just a regular carry-on, keep it in your pocket, just a little folding whatever, to a toss-away

knife. So go to Kershaw.com, use code UNSUB to save 20%, and for every $100, you get free shipping. Boom! Code UNSUB, 20%, Kershaw.com. Be you. Be the best version of you. What in the Kershaw.com. Be you. Be the best version of you. What in the Kershaw blades? I'm Wolverine.

Superpower. Yeah, bringing it back. So everyone has a superpower. Every individual for the offenders have superpower. We have Batty with his super strength and super coming abilities. Well, no, no, it's just super strength. The offset is the coming. Yeah, like if I's just super strength. The offset is the coming.

If I use my super strength, I uncontrollably come. It's not ideal. No, I mean, but it's, you know, if you want the super strength, sometimes there's a cost. I'm not going to pick that school bus. It's like coming. Leon.

Leon can read the minds of others. His spouse can always read his mind at any given time. That's rough. That's rough. Pure thoughts only, huh? I'm a Christian boy. Raising a...

Protestant household. I'm just picturing you showing up to any crimes and you're like... no you have horse blinders leon blinders on focus on the brand i mean imagine the gym would be rough sometimes yeah well that's why so she wears a tinfoil hat always i convinced her it was a fashion statement. It was hard to get her to bite on that, but she's into it. I killed Magneto for you. The new Mitsubishi Outlander brings out another side of you. Your regular side listens to classical music.

Your adventurous side rocks out with the dynamic sound Yamaha. Regular you owns a library card. Adventurous you owns the road with super all-wheel control. Regular side, alone time. Adventurous side journeys together with third row seating. The new Outlander. Bring out your adventurous side. Mitsubishi Motors.

Drive your ambition. Kill back me. I need this bro your power your power is traveling at the speed of light now I have two no you're just fast fuck off

no he's off like no he changes it he keeps changing he wants a better one he's like I was on the subreddit and they gave me a better idea no you are the flag no you did this on the podcast. No, you did this. No, I did not.

No, you weren't there. Exactly. That's why you have no say. I get it, boys. He's fast. No, it was fast. It was fast. That was it.

That was always the power, Batty. It hasn't changed. The offset changed. Come on, Batty. No, offset is not going to change. I like offset two more. No. Guys, I'm going to give you two offsets.

I shit everywhere. We'll vote. We'll vote. I knew that one. shit the brown street or captain cuck is i love that name i show up and i can't interact with an object for five minutes so i can save you so i can show up at a crime scene i just can't touch your face through everything for five minutes i like you shitting yourself way more i like showing up to a crime scene and they're like, help me. I'm like, actually, I would kind of like you to show up,

but you can't help. And you just shit yourself. I was going to say, why not both? Yeah. It's like, it's the only thing you can do. You just ran so fast.

You're so exerted. You're like, I got to poo. That's real life that's i like shows up anywhere he's got a hundred percent that's not even a joke lactose intolerant ivy dude and then once you finally are on the scene you just got like you know soggy drawers no when i'm on the scene i release oh so you just hold it till yeah so now five minutes is almost a blessing.

You can collect yourself. You can do your Hail Marys. Walk away from the poops. And then once the person is inevitably killed, you can then just leave. You can alert the police to the crime scene. We say five minutes. They have every crime scene.

It's great. The serial is shit. I'm here. I can see you. Oh, I'm shooting my pants. I's great. The serial shitter. I'm here. I can see you. Oh, I shit my pants. I can't touch you. It's seven minutes. Oh, this is disgusting. I'll give you time to fucking.

Tell me. I can't. You can't. Stop shitting, at least. I can't. The only superhero sponsored by dude wipes. Logos everywhere. The giant dude wipe is my cape.

That would be so cute. You could make a killing on that. Does the dude wipe cape have like a brown strip? Oh yeah. Every time I use it. It's like a shit emoji. It's like one of the letters. It's like a little right here.

There's no S. It's just this. And you're not happy about the whole situation you're you're upset no you're like i wish i didn't shit myself it's devastating but any superhero has that heavy consciousness kind of that battle yeah oh yeah yourselves you know spider-man we've seen that like superman has x-ray vision like if that was me i'd be a degenerate piece of shit but Superman was saving people that's sweet and then we have Captain Shitty

you know he was a degenerate piece of shit yeah in reality I think what really the boys

is much closer yeah all the boys I think that's actually an exact depiction of what Superman would be which is why

that show is so fucking good what masturbating on top of a skyscraper fucking love me America no just floating

he's like yeah that's me y'all worship they're coming out with a new season soon yep on top of a skyscraper? Fucking love me. America. No, just floating. He's like, yeah. That's me. That's me. Y'all worship. Are you coming out with a new season soon? Yep.

Thanks. All right. Oh, yeah. Oh, my super power. Pick it. I think this is obvious. Just immune to all physical damage. Like Colossus, kind of.

Yeah. Like you can just turn to steel. Steel. No. No pain. But there's always a... The caveat the caveat it doesn't matter it's such a good ability nothing nothing can hold me down uh okay no i got this uh every time you you activate so you're like i can't be hurt right literally immune to physical pain you take on

all the emotional trauma of everybody around you oh Oh, that's really good. You go to that awful scene, you get there, you see that mother seeing her daughter just ruined. As you're saving everyone. You could not hang out. Give me a second. I can't even help you guys right now, this is rough. That is fucked up. I am very well done.

Batty, oh my God, you could not hang out with veterans with that super power. You just- Oh my god! You have absorbed- You got that one veteran, you- Absorbed the emotional trauma of everyone around you. God, you look so bad! I want you to have the most badass, like, when you're like,

Ooh! AHHHHH! AHHHHH! You're like flipping the rocks out of the way they call me in houston we got a problem and uh they're like you know this this grand this grandmother had a stroke uh she you know loving family and everything i just start bawling you know i like i can't make it over there i can't not again okay just fear has kicked i just can't do it i think you could make some killer youtube videos because you can know who you're around there and you could be indestructible if you were able to use that power for good and actually get out in the world that would become

problematic at that point i mean i think what if I just get a good therapist, though? Maybe I can offset some of this. Yeah, you could really make the career of a therapist, for sure. You could be the worst Avenger ever. We're all right. That's what they call, like, what did Shane Dawson say he was when he was, like, trying to defend himself? I'm an empath. Oh, empath.

I'm an empath. Me, an empath. I sense. Me, an empath. So, like, kind of the same idea, obviously, with maybe less implications. A little bit more murder. Instantly. He is the worst of it.

He's the one that shows up and starts crying. Yes. It is the worst superpower. Like, the jet's getting closer to the emotional trauma. We see a building falling. We see the hospital blown up. The jets arriving in our helicopter or whatever.

The victims of the situation are comforting me. It's okay. You're burning alive and you're totally fine. This is so terrible. You look horrible, Susie.

Stop saying it to them! Carry me out of this burning building, dammit! They're actually burning themselves in an adamantium skin that is hot. I'm so hot! I just think of that scene, it's when the fucking boys were... Just get up and save us! You're capable, damn! He's in a ball in the corner. You're all gonna die!

I'm gonna die! Where's your shower at? Why? I need to take one! We have to go in and save him. And then just, I imagine the end of that scene is just like a slow zoom out of him just amid all the bodies. They all die, you're like, ha, I feel better. It's always that crazy. Yeah, yeah. Once a crisis is over i'm like wow yeah relieved you see those pussies were crying oh my god we just made the origin to a super villain

he's got to kill everyone so he doesn't have to feel bad because there is kind of that element to crying where like you have that euphoria afterwards because i maybe you when i jerk off after well i was gonna say like maybe some other people experience like you have that euphoria afterwards because I, maybe you, when I jerk off after, well, I was going to say like maybe some other people experience like you cry very infrequently, like four or five, six times a week.

Yeah. But, but afterwards you have that feeling, but his euphoria is heightened to where it makes him feel almost, almost invulnerable, which he is. So it's like the sixth cycle of feeling vulnerable, wanting to save the world.

And the second he gets there, he absorbs the trauma, turns into a blubbering mess. And then once everyone's fucking dead and burned and rotten and fucking in the grave, he's like, it makes me feel good.

Oh God, you are a true supervillain. Yeah, you're a serial killer. He's going to show up to kill people. That's fucked up. You're a supervillain. Can I go to therapy for this? No.

You're a man. Can I drink this away? What if I show up pissed drunk? You're pissed man. Can I drink this away? Can I drink this? What if I show up pissed drunk? What, you're pissed drunk and then you take on the emotions of an angry husband?

You start hating people. You also, you absorb by proxy all of the therapist stories that she's had. Oh, no. So you now have that trauma.

I'm so emotionally in tune. Yeah. Oh, my God. He's so strong, but man, he's a sensitive man. I just love him showing up. He's like, I'll save you, ma'am. The's so strong, but he's a sensitive man. I just love him showing up. He's like, I'll save you, ma'am.

The husband's like, fuck her. And you're like, oh, I'm so sorry. It was him, not me. Even if I do fight a villain, I feel bad for the pain I caused him. It's a cycle. Now you're crying because you hurt somebody. You know what, man? You can hit me back. It's fine. They break their hand They are crying cuz you hurt somebody by it. You know what man you can hit me back

It's fine. You break their hand That worked out great yeah like that that is a good you guys you do you I'm so I obviously watch every Occasionally, yeah, I think I missed like episode 42 They got nerfed by the algorithm that was too funny and too controversial. I talk about your episode all the time. Because that is still one of my favorite episodes. No, it really was.

We both said it was like Leon's a fucking killer. That was probably one of my favorite episodes we ever filmed. We had so much fun, yeah. You are awful for us. Welcome to me being on YouTube. Every time I put effort into something it shits the fucking bed oh that's your superpower yes you're a superpower all my effort here's a fucking clip of some dumb fucking idiot doing something fucking dumb i'll

make five jokes and post it nine minutes fucking crushes i don't get it i guess people just want to dunk on people and when they see the real me they can't handle it basically is what i'm trying to say so they get scared and they run like little patsies like little bitches and i think this is the episode where we finally come full circle he's turning red this is gonna get careful he's gonna get what he does in 24 hours my favorite part calling it now he's getting angry from a super he's like you guys really invited me on the podcast. I was going to tank.

I was promised success from this. What the fuck? You could have put me on with anybody else. Eli. Eli? Yo, what's up? Sorry, couldn't hear you over my noise canceling Raycon headphones.

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over those noise canceling headphones on this side i can but if i turn my ear it's gone quiet so great honestly and raycon start at half the price point of other premium audio audio brands these these are half the price point of premium audio brands but like the real ones not this this was i think two cents in paper I killed a tree for this. Even if you know you love your Raycons as much as I do and as much as Eli does, Raycon wants to make sure you feel great about your purchase. They offer buy now and pay later options, and every purchase has an easy and free return guarantee.

Also, lightweight. Very, very lightweight. Ow. That's duct tape holding them on my head. Unlike paper, Raycon earbuds, sweat and water resistant. So if you're out for a run or a jog,

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So your audience specifically, I was just gonna say, you don't predicate this on gaming. No, we take the gaming space. We're number one, two, or three in all of gaming podcasts. Yeah. Always.

Do you just, side note, do you ever talk Destiny on here or not? Yeah, all the time. We'll get to Destiny. Okay. We. Yeah. Always. Do you ever talk Destiny on here? Yeah. All the time. We'll get to Destiny. Okay. We'll get to Destiny. Houston,

gaming, and then anime. So we're going to go games. We'll game you in Destiny. Leon. You do your Destiny and then we'll have our side. What games?

You have to have, oh, top three games. Top three games for both of you. Okay. Well, it's a tough one, but I think

World of Warcraft, just in pure time that I played it, there's too many days logged into that game. Slash played? Yeah, slash played. Don't, baby. Never. You never. One of my best friends says over a year. 68 days. I was around there.

Yeah, I was around there. I'm one character. You have a lot of alts. Yeah. Yeah. So that's definitely one. What is your current status in your World of Warcraft addiction? I've dropped it. Like a hundred percent.

No shadow. Let it go. Let it go. Dragon. Dragon. Yeah. I think, uh,

I don't know. It's been like you, you bailed on mists, Mr. Pandaren. Yeah. I skipped mists. Yeah.

So the cataclysm was like my, myora, didn't you? I skipped Mists. Yeah. So, the... Cataclysm was like my... I started in BC. Okay. Oh, you started in BC. Okay. End of BC. Played all through Wrath of the Lich King.

Yep. Absolutely. Of course. Cataclysm. Cataclysm was when I finally figured out keybinds and got a razor. So, you were clicking. You were clicking every single... Yeah.

Oh, the mouse. Oh, yeah. The mouse with 18 buttons on the side. I was like, I'm so fucking good now. Look at me. I can run around you and do my spells. So you were a druid. I can run around you and do my spells.

Spoken like a druid. I'm a warrior main. Really? No. Okay. Are you surprised by him being a warrior main. Really? Are you surprised by him being a warrior main? I absolutely am. I assumed because he was tough and real. Magic.

You play a human or a dwarf? Or an orc. I was like, no, he's going for the orc. Let's go for the orc. I did do a server transfer to human alliance. Just slap him right now. I was like, no, he's going for the war. Let's go. For the war. I did do a server transfer to Human Alliance for better. Slap him right now. I had to.

I had to for better arena partners. Yeah. So you like research where you could find better arena partners? Yeah, better servers. So were you trying to climb the ranks of arenas? Yeah. 3v3s, right? 3v3s, yeah.

One of my good friends was one of the top arena players, I want to say in like 2011 12. I don't know. That was the Druid thing. That was Druid Boomkin. I did beat Redful once. Oh shit. I beat Redful once.

But to be fair, they triple queued as triple DPS. And it was a mistake. I saw the stream. I think they would have destroyed us otherwise i did i did take the double a win's a win they had to take that yeah that's fucking but uh yeah i was really big into arena side of things uh like uh raid battlegrounds when that came out and whatnot did you do much end game pve or no uh yeah yeah i mean like especially in like wrath of lich king at the lich king i did uh most of the raids uh yeah

through completion obviously yeah yeah yeah god i love it when people just uh it's a fucking nerds i love it yeah it's gotta be my favorite game of all time just in just because i was so first mmo when you're first i barely played it in 15 years it's still my favorite game of all time by far this really it's his first i guarantee his first mmo it was my first time uh no okay not my first mmo but the first time i'm all that really took all of my life guild wars years ultima online oh you were an old dude oh yeah you're my you're my 37 so you went So this is literally in the 98, 99. It was EQ or Ultima. Those were your two choices.

Yeah, I was Ultima guy. I had friends who played EQ. I wanted to play EQ but never got into it. I was an Ultima guy. What's your guys' thoughts on RuneScape? Because I just always thought it was the discount budget. Wow. I don't think it even budget.

I was never a fan. I love... Fuck you if you play RuneScape. I'm going to send that to my friends. I was never a fan. I love fuck you. We play work runescape I'm gonna send that to my friends. I got a lot of friends that play runescape I'll take the hate on that one. I fucking I've tried playing runescape so many fucking times. I hate it It's so fucking good. I never bothered once I taste You play mobile game like a real man we've talked about it online

i missed old mmos ultima online was fucking dope because the the pvp the lawlessness the lawlessness and how savage it is you see you missed out you started in a burning crusade so back in old mmo day you would have vanilla warcraft 2 was bad it was brutal when you died in uh everquest you had five bubbles to level up and then uh you would lose half a bubble if you died half a bubble took losing xp 20 hours to grind for half a bubble and when you died your stuff stayed on your corpse and you you respond as a naked body wherever you're bound out. That can be 10 hours away. And you have to walk the entire time. There's no fast travel.

Yeah. Zero fast travel back in the day. Ultima Online also. And the PVP were assholes in Ultima. So there was a guy on the server I played on named Brad Pitt. Everyone. I already know my people that were assholes on my server. Like, you know.

They were called PKs. Super players. Player killers. PK were called PKs, Super Players. Yeah, Player Killers. PKers. I love this. When I was playing, there was a safe world called Trammel, and there was a portal that took you to the same exact world called Felucia, but it was where PvP was allowed, right?

Yeah. And I believe Trammel might have been a later thing they added because it was so aggressively unfair for people that were trying to learn to learn the game i'm gonna pause real quick on this when you died in ultimate they took your shit all of your shit so there was no on your body so like so i was a mage as a mage you had to you had to eight regions or reagents whatever you call them reagents or regions or yes regions yeah you had to have eight different types spiders to all these ones and like you're like they cost a lot of money so you want to go out and like quest to do anything you have to stock up on all eight and the fucking inventory management was a nightmare it was just dragging drop it was like there was like 95 things on top of each other like it didn't make any sense

there was no like cute little squares you could just put things it was like it made diablo look great yeah when diablo 2 you're like oh he's dragging me. You're like trying to get to your next quest and you pop through the portal boom Brad Pitt You're dead in three hell fucking clean clean clean. He's on his horse. He's fucking he's written then he does you shit rides off And then go grind dog shit for four hours so I can afford the Regents again just to go to Dragon Quest. It's so fucking funny now to see the landscape of video games and what the

video media or I'm sorry, the video game press the argument over what's too hard and what's too easy and like, oh, it's so stupid that they allow easy mode and stuff. It's just, you guys don't. And I'm not, that's why I like games like monster hunter and like Elden

ring. They're harder. They're way harder. But we're of that age. Yeah. Right. We're, you're young.

No, he's a child. Okay. So you, but child, you're younger, but still, how dare you not be born soon?

I'll be 29 in August. Moments away from getting an AARP card. I got two, unfortunately. how dare you not be bored super I'll be 29 in August okay moments away from getting an AARP card I already have two I got two unfortunately but but it also serves to say

that like based on your affinity for masochism yeah whoa I'm not a masochist damn it actually this lines up

video games can be that in their own right the games got easier he started taking more hate. He's like, hurt me here. Anybody that's ever tried to beat Battletoads on original Nintendo is a masochist. There is 93% of original Nintendo games are unbeatable without Game Genie. I say that if you're a normal non-autistic.

You're not on the spectrum. I hate I beat a lot of these. You don't know what a game genie is. It is. Wait, is that like I had a game shark for my PS PS1. It's like similar. It's cheat code. Just a little attachment you put to the end of the cartridge. You put it in. It was

just like the old game sharks or oh my, what was the other one? Game genie was the OG. No, there was another one. There was genie game shark. It was just like the old game sharks or oh my oh, it was the other one Game genie was the oh no there was a no there was genie games It was the Nintendo 64 one fuck cuz you sure you put the cartridge on it. No there was there was two There was the game shark and there was another one fuck I can see the the the it was red and had like a yellow like the the Controller buttons no one were like the colors fuck That was my answer to replace

Action replay I was there to ask if you wanted another one of these You have a keys. Well, mixie. Yeah, well you drinking. You're not drinking the blood oath. I Didn't know send it over. I didn't know what you know. He's taking the good shit on the table On your side you fuckhead. I'm looking at it right now. Off the couch. Batty. Punch it on Batty's face. He's like, hey, Batty, that pour's a little heavy. Let me just go put this over here.

His beard is so strong, I can't ever tell he can be like this. Listen, you know what? He's literally a fucking dude. Batty, he's literally a fucking seagull look at this dude Throw some chunks in his mouth getting. Get a little. I'm gonna throw it to you and you have to catch it in your mouth. You're a fucking seagull. That's who you are.

A little higher. Oh, there we go. Yes! Yes, you're a seagull. You're this episode's seagull. I'm okay with that. It was worth it. Yeah!

Yeah! Do people know who seagulls are that aren't from New England, by the way? Yes. I hope so. They're all over. They're everywhere, right? If you're by a beach.

I think I lost a piece of bread. We'll find it in a week and a half. Oh, yeah. The mice will get it. Yeah. Yeah. Yes If you buy a beach Yeah, yeah I don't like hey, mmm. You're my seagull. Thank you, baby Good breath biking genetics. No like this much Not a lot. I'm just Irish. I'm an alcoholic Come to the territory Beard is so so impressive just in solidarity. I'm gonna have. It comes with the territory. The beard is so impressive. In solidarity, I'm going to have a little white bread. It's good bread.

It's just sugar bread. There's a reason my kids love this shit. It melts the second you put it on your tongue. It's like an acetab. You got to keep that under your tongue for about 10 minutes. Just from what I've heard. Never done it.

Okay, MMO down. Next game. Second favorite. Second favorite. Second favorite. That's right. Honestly, I just beat Monster Hunter World, and I thought that was a great game. Monster Hunter games are amazing and extremely hard to hire.

They get fucking hard. Brutal. I've started so many different Monster Hunter games and never finished a single game. Did you play World? I played World and Rise. Okay, I played World and tried Rise. I was like, Rise fucking sucks.

Rise was bad. Yeah, I did not like it. But World was just like, because I, Elden Ring also loved. It was like that difficulty. I fucking hate Elden Ring. I know you do, which is a problem. He hates any fucking.

I don't like FromSoftware. FromSoft Games. So last time I was here, that was a fresh conversation for us. That's right, because it just dropped. It just dropped, yeah. Did you get killed by the tree sentinel? No. I love the difficulty.

I really do. I love the difficulty. That's why you hate it so much. The world seems too gothic. It's true. Rarely what is that. That's what I said. I really do Kayla doesn't even fit in the aesthetic Kayla did such a weird looking place. It's all I don't I don't like the entire game Fighting the giant monsters like the Titan type shit like the fire giant rules in that game by the way There's so yeah boss battles like I would gladly admit that I can't get into the fucking game. So I stopped caring if it's Shooter I would be like I don't if it's like if it was a shooter i would

be able to like i don't need to give a fuck about playing a shooter i can just are you more shooter fan than rpg no rpg that's your wheelhouse that's why i'm so picky about rpgs if it's not exactly what i want i don't give a fuck i'll go back to playing tarka i think that the reason i like in the last time i was here like the beginning of the episode i was like I'm just going to shit on the whole time because it's funny is because we had that disagreement. Oh yeah we were going at it. It was the Elden Ring disagreement and that's how we started. So let's Spring is here and you can now get almost anything you need

delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well-groomed lawn delivered but you can get chicken parmesan delivered sunshine? No. Some wine? Yes. Get almost almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets See app for details. No. Some wine. Yes. Get almost, almost anything delivered with Uber Eats. Order now. Alcohol in select markets.

See app for details. Compound on that. Let's make it worse. I'm just kidding. No. You're entitled to your opinion. I enjoy it. This is wrong.

I think. That is three to one here. I love Elden Ring. No, I know it's a good game. I'm not saying it's a bad game. I just don't personally enjoy it. It's preference. I understand that.

I think it takes strength and character to be able to stand in the face of dissenters and say, nay, this game is not for me. You will not convince me it's the best game of the year. It is indeed trash. It is indeed trash. As Batty pushes his eyeglasses at me. The dragons are too gothic for me.

That's a shirt. Batty riding a dragon. This is too gothic. This is my whole goth girl problem. It's real weird. It's not making a lot of sense. It was Melina. She left you after you burned the tree down. I'm convinced he couldn't beat the first

tree. Batty he couldn't beat the first tree sign. That's it, that's lore. Batty lore, he couldn't beat the first tree sign. The one night he didn't stream, he's like, I'm gonna just get a head start in this game. 45, like 45 hours later, he's on his 42nd wipe of the tree sign. And he didn't realize he was supposed to run around. No.

I only played for four hours. He's looking around the room for the game genie. Can't find it. He's like, where'd I put this in the computer? Did they four hours. He's looking around the room for the game genie. He's like, where did I put this in the computer? Did they just come out with DLC, by the way? Or they're coming out with DLC soon? Oh, actually, there's more coming to it? That's cool. Yeah, recently I saw the announcement, but I don't know.

Can we talk about Diablo 4 briefly? Oh, I actually do want to play that one. Hey, Eli, did you ever have to learn a language when you were in high school before you dropped out because you're kind of an idiot? Yes. What language did you try to learn? Mexican. Spanish, Eli, did you ever have to learn a language when you were in high school before you dropped out because you're kind of an idiot? Yes. What language did you try to learn? Mexican. Spanish, you mean?

Yes. How much of Spanish did you learn? Muy poquito. You know what would be great, then, if you would like to learn muy grande espanol? Si. Head over to babble.com, where over 10 million people have bought subscriptions to learn a second or third language learning languages can help you in many facets of a life how because then you can speak to a lot of different people in like the video games you play if you play escape from

tarkov where i have to learn russian chicken a bricky even don't care see like look at that i know a little bit of russian what cheeky bricky me to get a biggie? What's it mean? It's like a like a little riddle thing like like There's not a direct translation straight up You're like it's like a like a riddle That's any language. i don't understand is a fucking riddle i'm i'm this is why i need babble babble can help you learn russian indonesian spanish french all sorts of cool languages this is my favorite part i love this part that was 15 minute sessions. Make learning a new language easy on the go.

I barely know English at this point. I need Babbel. And I'm going to select English. You need to learn Spanish really bad. You're doing your people a disservice Eli. I know. Talk about why you chose this language. Oh, talk about why.

Oh, that's why you chose. I'm going to learn Spanish because I do my people a disservice. I am terrible at that. I could also learn Indonesia. With Babbel you can choose from 14 different languages including Spanish, French, Italian, German plus Babbel's speech recognition technology helps you improve your pronunciation and accent como estas okay pasco pasco pedro pasco the internet's daddy i want to learn spanish just so i can talk to him i thought you were just calling me a mexican no no i was that was the

last of us callback babble teaches you bit size languages so you can use it on the go. Right now, when you purchase a three-month subscription on Babbel.com, you get an extra three months for free. That's right. You get six months for the price of three when you use code UNSUB over at Babbel.com. Head over to Babbel.com, B-A-B-B-E-L.com, and use code UNSUB, U-N-S-U-B and learn a language or two today.

I'm hoping to get... I'm excited I haven't got to play it. I know you two... I missed the fucking... I downloaded it Sunday night not knowing it was over Sunday night. Last the album played it was like two. How was it? It was great. It was good. It was like...

I had no cue. I had a little cue but it was D2. I had no Q. I had a little Q, but it was, it was very tight. I cut the line. I don't know. But I'm a Twitch streamer. It's whatever. Pretty popular.

It sounded way worse than my head. They're like, make me tweet at you. It's like, I'm a white male. I know. You're like, you have your privilege card

as you're walking by everyone in Q live. like I did wait. You're not a cute girl I didn't get dropped one time. Oh, they're doing nine hours straight. I am dreams. He's been to PAX East 47 Streams Kind of chubby guy. It's that one. Yeah, get him. Actually, one of our developers got drunk with him at the 2017 convention. He had some dirt. Probably. I think I actually sold them fucking oregano. And they thought it was me.

This was a long time ago. But just let him play. Put him on the streamer servers. They don't disconnect. It was great. I'm jealous. It was a fucking. It was Diablo 2 with Diablo 3 graphics.

Okay. Good. Okay. Like, I will say it was a little annoying that a lot of the classes had stuff removed, but obviously it was a beta. It's not coming out until like, what, August? It was super positive. July, August.

Super positive reviews. They were going, a lot of people said. How many classes did they start in the beta? Five? Barbarian. Sorcerer. Necro. Necro. positive reviews they were going a lot of people said as we say how many classes did they start in the beta five uh barbarian sorcerer necro necro rogue rogue and that was it four okay no no and druid sorry and druid but the druid was heavily missing like lots of its elements okay wait do they uh like for Diablo, do they have their classes split into trees as well?

Or is it just one skill tree for each class? No, there's multiple options. So it's one path. Because like, you know, in World of Warcraft, Druid could be like, you know, three different classes.

So it's actually very similar to that. So like you level up, you get enough skill points, you open up your next skill tree and you can pick like, oh, I'm going to be more of a owl bear. I'm going to be more of a tank. I'm going to be more of an elemental.

Yeah, yeah, cool. And each time you level up, you get to that next tree and that next node gives you like three options. Skill trees and XP. Yeah, it's literally it. It's just a dungeon grinder. You put your face in

and you just grind it until you get XP and it's over. It's been what? Decade and a half since Diablo 3? Yeah, that was a fucking game. Did you not like Diablo 3? No, I played the fuck out of it and made a bunch of money on it when it first dropped because

Oh yeah, the real... This was in 2009. Did you sell gold? It was a real money auction house. So Diablo launched and it was like, oh, a big deal. Like three months later,

they dropped the real money auction house. That's the hustle. Which means you could sell gear you farmed for actual money for your Blizzard account. Yeah. And the Chinese found out you could make money

and they took that shit from you. Took you out of business. Bro, bye-bye. You couldn't manipulate. You were like, yeah. Oh, you're a fucking fat white dude in your mom's basement? Yes. Bro, buh-bye! You couldn't manipulate work. Yeah. It was fucked. You could buy shit.

Oh, you're a fucking fat white dude in your mom's basement? Yes. We got a warehouse of 65 malnourished Chinese people selling the same shit. And we're selling it for half the price, motherfucker. You ain't got shit. Dude, it was literally, you would buy like all of what I own. I mean, that's the easiest sell though.

It's like, hey, 100 kids, we'll pay you $10. To just play video games. Yeah, yeah. kids. We'll pay you $10. Give us the gold though. And you can have whatever. I didn't mean to cut you off. It just, no, no, it wasn't gold though.

That was the thing. No, it was literally just, you would farm for legendary gear. Right. With good rolls or even worse. What you would do is you would just put those into gear for an absorbent amount of money.

And people were like, Oh, that must be real good. Cause they were idiots. They didn't know any better. Yeah it's it's like it's honestly like a market within a game you know the trademark in any mo the shitty non-stop scrolling trade market but for real money yeah in the game love it and it was allowed that's awesome so i would just farm like it was tall russia that's the the biggest one i remember it was a it was a sorceress gear set and i would just farm this just sell it on the fucking

just awful fucking rolls didn't matter just sell it or you could sell that's crazy different sets of socketed gear it was stupid it was and how did what did the transfer look like so they bought it on this was a third party auction house no it was in was in game they had the real that was in game that was why it was so bad it was inside like they allowed that oh this was everyone instead of going to a vendor you'd click i knew yeah but i didn't play diablo 3 and you could just use real money yeah oh my lord like your blizzard wallet how you would pay for your wow subscription so all you had to do was list it and you didn't even have to interact with that person. Nope. You did nothing. You would just, but then I think you had to.

I did not know this. The online community ate, like they flip shit because of it. They're like, this is the dumbest thing. But it was 2009. Oh yeah, everyone was happy about it.

There was no online community then. Everyone was. Twitter didn't give a, there was no outrage. Like people were mad about it, but it was also Blizzard forums. Well think about the fucking pitch. Now you went to the Blizzard forums.

Oh, what about it? You did. It's like,'re all fucking now. You went to the blizzard form Plain to the main motor a fortnight V box response Kids steal their parents credit card. You from doing it, that's on them. What the fuck up with you crying online about it? No, it's a societal problem. If I want to buy fucking Tal Rasha and my parents are fucking loaded, I'm living in the suburbs, I'll take fucking Gucci belts. I'm going to buy Tal Rasha from this poor piece of shit that finds us. That's capitalism

at work baby you love it EverQuest I mean even Ultima they had eBay we used to have to go through

eBay back in the day that's why Diablo was so crazy Diablo 3 when it launched it was in game they were like yeah fuck you eBay sellers

do we everyone's like why don't we just cut out the middle man how's that sound? Because they took the cut. Of course they did. Hold on, though.

2% off the top. No problem. Anyone Halo fans here? That was going to be my third game. ODST, best game ever. I mean, you know, Sam Fisher is one of my favorite characters. System link, carry my TV over to my friend's house. Top three for me.

100%. I brought my Xbox. Oh, my God, yeah. Oh, with the Duke? The controller? The Duke, the controller? controller yeah you thought i was holding a system no this is the controller i was at my halo peak on the duke with the fucking black and white buttons on the fucking top right you have to reach up and hit them or you have a big arcade box. Or your younger brother didn't hit him for you because he was too far. If you didn't have small little Mexican hands.

If you were a normal sized person. He has racially ambiguous hands. The hands are so small. The white button is so far away. Up there. Cannot reach. The eye. So blurry.

Do you have a white and black button, please? Oh my God. Get my cousin to do that. Okay, now pull the eye. So blurry. Do you have a white and black button, please? Oh, my God. Get my cousin to do that. Okay, now pull the trigger. Got to shoot the bad guy. Oh, my God. This is called the fraud, you know? It's called the fraud.

Who is John 117? Ask yourself that. He has come from the star. The heavenly glory Descended upon earth And save it You know Halo 1

I would love to listen to a reimagining Of the Halo story Told by Eli Everyone close your eyes Okay here you go You open them In front of you is marine soldier He tell you look up Everyone, close your eyes. Okay, here you go. You open them. In front of you is Marine soldier.

He tell you, look up. You do a joystick. Look down and you do a joystick. Welcome to John's life. Oh, my Lord. You know, I'm actually really happy you can do the Asian accent. One time I punched a Japanese-looking cantaloupe with fast knuckles. Okay, I thought this was going in a different direction. And I said, this is for Pearl Harbor.

Before I hit it. And we kind of photo-imposed some planes crashing in the background. Of course you did, yeah. How much shit did you get for that? You know, it was like five years ago, so there was like an argument in the comments, but I think I came out on top. Yeah, very insensitive. Much like us at Pearl Harbor.

No, I mean insensitive that people would even care. They would care. Such assholes. You should just punch the cantaloupe and fucking superimpose the cantaloupe. Well, it did have squinty eyes, the cantaloupe. Oh, that's when Leo's like, you can see him physically going like this. Well it did have squinty eyes, the cantaloupe. Oh! That's when Leo was like, right? You could see him physically going like this.

Mmm, I'm not comfortable anymore. I was much younger. Let me talk to you about a little something called sensitivity. Give me that fucking flare! I love five years ago like this can be hilarious never come back and haunt me. Upload. 1.3 million views. No, they loved it. I got punched with brass knuckles and we just tested on an Asian looking cantaloupe first.

An Asian looking cantaloupe. Did you put buck teeth? An Asian looking. Well, we punched a normal cantaloupe with a normal line. What's an Asian liquor? You drove circles almost around. What I'm going to tell you is right after they dressed up a cantaloupe as a white person eating hummus and carrots. And popped some shit out of that.

Gave it a credit score of 780. And a job. All of the races, yeah. The white cantaloupe had a job and a credit score. It just went. It got weird when you punched the watermelon, didn't it? It sued you after you punched it. Yeah. It did a video. You could have cut the cantaloupe, but you had to do a watermelon.

We have an oversight on the production team, I think. Are you picking the watermelon? I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon.

I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon. I'm not picking the watermelon but you had to do a watermelon. We don't have an oversight on the production team, I think.

Oh, you pick up a watermelon and you're like, nah. You just put it down. God, it's so much juicier. It's got to be so much better. And your content was cooler back then. It's not great anymore. It's not great. You can't do those jokes anymore, guys.

I drew slanny eyes is all I need. I want a shirt that just has two lines. It's like, I drew slanny eyes. It's just a shirt. And then a subtext in the bottom says, it was 2015. was cool give me a break give me a break give me a break it's 2015 oh my god actually that life comes at you fast that is a good question what oh my god he actually he actually got the butter that is i am beside myself let's just wrap that in a bow halo one probably top three games for me i was in high school uh when the xbox original came out nice i got it christmas was a big deal for me i didn't my parents weren't big on video games that four controller middle class

four controller ports was insane wasn't it that's insane well when n64 did it but like at that level ps oh i know oh yes you only had xbox in 64 right and gamecube and then everything else they were like okay everyone else had to do it because it was so popular with how many people you could fit uh but that game throughout high school i played football and every after every football practice after school we'd all come to my house I had like a third floor bedroom it was like a larger kind of three floors. You have three floors? God you live nice. Lower middle class. Yes. No. Well lower. My first car was a Mercedes. My parents traded a fucking horse and carriage for a house. It was New Hampshire and the boondocks. No, but you had Sicily parties. I know. Honestly, my butler didn't even fucking

wash my fucking underwear. It was great. I used to prank the shit out of him. I'd waste shit on his face. Tell him to go back. No, I'm sorry. But all that is to say, we'd all come back to my house and I'd have two separate rooms where we'd have an Xbox up in each one.

And we'd play 4v4, Capsule of the Flat, Blood Gulch. Yeah. Damn, two Xboxes. Hang them high with the fucking pistols. Yeah. Prisoner Rockets. Oh my god. Another favorite of ours.

Yeah, Halo 1, I would say, shaped probably my console. Blood Gulch. Shaped my console FPS experience. Did you actually play other maps other than Blood Gulch or was it? Oh yeah, oh yeah. We played Prisoner.

Lockdown Halo 2. Chill Out Shotguns was one of my, Chill Out was one of my favorite maps. Really? Yeah. You remember Chill Out with the blue one?

Yeah, I remember. The funny thing was when I used to play back then and only when we would play on screen if it was only me and a couple of my buddies it was us four. They used to give me shit

for watching screens. Like that was my super talent. Well, you're on screen. You hit him with a chameleon eye. Four screen, four screen split. Leon,

you're cheating. No, I'm not. And they're like, they're like, how did you know I was coming around the corner? It's because like, motherfucker,

we're on the same screen. So I'm sorry that you fucking smooth brain. Yeah. Can't watch all the four squares at the same time. Everyone has the same advantage. So I'm going to absolutely fucking smash you. This is the gut wall. I know where you are at all times. That was the beauty of local multiplayer.

Wait, you guys, am I the only one that put the piece of cardboard in my stick? No. No one's ever done that. You are strange. Okay, see, he's strange. We would put a piece of cardboard down the middle so you're two on two.

How fucking long did that cardboard have to be, dude? Were you this long? I was poor. It was this big. Yeah, but dude, if I'm looking at that camera screen right there and there's a piece of cardboard in the middle, I can still see it. No, thank you.

No way that was your TV. That's what they say. It was here and here. Yeah, you got the refrigerator cardboard stuck between you. It's 80 feet long. Yeah, but like that's how close we were gaming. Why were you that close to the television? You kind of hold the talk to each other. Why were you that close to the TV monitor?

PC monitor? What are you talking about? We're talking about CCTV tube television. Yeah, you get the one. It's the same. But why do you sit so close to the desk? PC monitor? What are you talking about? We're talking about CCTV tube television halo one. Yeah, you get the- It's the same- but why do you sit so close to your computer monitor? You're not sitting at a computer desk, you're on a fucking couch in the family room! No! I sat on the floor of the TV like a real gamer! You could tape a fucking-

Leon, how many square foot was my house? Leon, how many square foot was my house? 200,000! No, it was about 600. 600. It was small. How big was my living room? Yeah, well, I'm sorry you didn't have fucking bucklers. The cardboard was an expense my family worried about. Listen, Leon. Because I'm adept at looking at multiple screens.

Not everyone has experienced the life of the lower middle class. That's true. My cardboard was a piece of our wall. I don't think he's giving me shit for that. I still don't understand giving me shit for that. What even does that mean? I made it up on the spot. It's like I was definitely middle class, but I don't want people to think I was raised well.

It's cool to be raised poor and then make it later. If it's any consolation, my parents are poor now. So they're definitely not watching this. You said it to your dad. Get to this part. God. I've said too much.

How mighty have fallen. Which hand was your favorite? Three, I think. They're religious. What are you expecting? Was it three? But not like the. Three. But not like the prosperity religious. Southern Baptist. We'll wait for a second. Catholic Catholic. Roman Catholic?

Conservative Christians. Serving? Baptist? I grew up Baptist. I would say, yeah Baptist. Yeah, I went to a Baptist church. Fucking hated it. Yeah, terrible. Mission trips, ew. Case closed.

Makes sense, man. Now he hurts himself. That's so fucking weird. My parents actually had a conversation with a pastor that was like, did my youth group or whatever, and he's like, is it my fault? Yes, it was. Did I do this?

He thinks it was my, he thought it was his fault because well it probably was yeah because like i had to go to these stupid trips and so i do stupid stuff and hurt myself a while to get out of them yeah no i was there at them and i just didn't want to i wanted to have any amount of fun and not seeing the gospel yeah uh so i would go hurt myself somehow i have the thumbnail there's so much to unpack there here's the title of that video how much pain really was Jesus in yeah that's the thumbnail in your kid

how many views does that get I don't know I normally don't speak this candidly about things like this. You know what? Put it on EY. Thank God.

No, they can do that. I never said that. God bless you. God bless. I will say video time. Yeah, we're an hour 15 in there. There are just some hardcore sons of a bitches left right now. These are the real meat and potatoes.

These guys have been commenting for four hours straight. You're on their seventh comment. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know when they start getting that third, fourth, fifth comment, like, we gotcha. Those are the lifeblood of podcasts, though. People actually appreciate it for what it is. God, it just made me think of my hand.

Not just the... You know, I got some meat, too. I see all you guys got some meat. I got a... What is that, a penis? Oh, is that a... You know, I got some ink, too. I see all you guys got some ink. I got a... What is that, a penis? Oh, is that a... It's a bicep. It's a bicep, yeah. I see that now.

Yeah, and I got one on the top of my head. Was that part of a video? Sponsored by Dollar Shave Club, yes. Wait, for real? Yeah. Wait, how much did they pay you for that? 7K. All right.

I mean, I do... I would have done... I would do stupider shit for less. You would do a tattoo for $7,000? You don't say. But, you know, I'm pretty sure they're a defunct company now. So I got Dollar Shave Club on top of my head. Yeah, they are.

So Dollar Shave Club was my first sponsor. How big is Dollar? Is it? Yeah, I need to. I'm curious here. This is. Did they go under? What happened to them?

He's pooping again. He's pooping. Yeah, he's IBS. I've got IBS. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, hide the dick again. He's pooping. Yeah, he's IBS. I thought IBS. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Yeah, hide the dick pic. I don't want anything sketchy.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Well, maybe a little bit sketchy. A little mildly sketchy. I don't mind some of the mildly sketchy. Literally, it's just all pictures of you bruised and disgusting. You ever see when I shot an airsoft BB into my tongue? Yeah, no. I see it stuck. Oh, it was in your tongue? your tongue yeah i was gonna shoot myself with

that minigun but until that happened oh airsoft minigun yeah that doesn't sound fun so then i had to pop it out like a pimple it sucked oh this is another any of you guys still here right now this is a different caliber of human being no i'm soft yeah i've done some stupid tattoo shit but like that one just a steel chair to the mouth this oh jesus christ what okay hold on Oh my god. And then it ends. Slow-mo. He got you with the metal part, too. Ken Shamrock gave me that idea.

What a lad. What a lad. Nice guy. Nice guy, Ken Shamrock. He actually is a nice guy. Okay, that was exactly the sound I needed it to make. The clog? It wasn't superimposed either. Added in post.

This is actually one question I wouldn't ask. Hold on. He's looking for the dollar shave club. Well, he's getting that. It's 100% fine because it deals with what we just watched. What was the most painful thing you did? Because I just want to say it is, for for me it was the idea of you i don't know why this fucked with me so much when you slid across that fucking coarse rug on your knees and burnt them to a crisp then you stood up and had to do it again that only time i cringed and cringed

even harder rug burn that's how they make the worst rug burn injury. That was the first time I was like, I can't watch the video. And I kicked it away. When you ran for the second time, not, I didn't even watch the third one. I don't know how many times you did it. Two months.

Two months of healing on that one. The scabs are so bad. You know, I, you know, bandage them, cover them, do my,

my first aid, terrible first aid. I think Christy went through the list. What would happen though you know they're kind of healing up and i just go to the gym or whatever squat on my and i have scabs on these knees i just keep ripping these scabs open open and i just you know sometimes i especially when they're healing i would like take my pants off or whatever the scab would have been stuck to my leg so i just ripped my scab off.

The burns are so bad. I lasered a penis on my hand. Oh yeah, that's there. Also burned my initials on my forearm with a magnifying glass. That would have been a slow one. It was funny because I broke my arm after that and then my surgeon underlined

my initials. Oh, he did that? Yeah. Yeah, that was so nice of him. That was nice of him to not cut through the fucking... How long did the burn take? That's like when it was burning after it. Oh, it's weird with burns, okay?

Is it? Give us some insight. Is it weird? Burns is weird. It definitely stinks so much initially, right? But if you can bear it. Just burning flesh. It almost stops.

Well, I had a, we did like these laser lights that were like high powered, could light stuff on fire. We did double of them on my chest and my chest popped. I evaporated the moisture underneath my skin and it exploded. Yeah, super funny. Yeah, terrible scar. Right there. scar right there oh yeah yeah you can see that yeah just exploded but burns take so you boiled the the moisture your flesh you boiled the moisture yeah your skin i never expected it to happen but it was a great reaction i never thought that would turn me on but here we are but uh worst thing i i get that question a lot uh i think i always go back to bare pepper

spray and this was something i did a long time ago everything you've done bare pepper spray and i have a very good reasoning for it because so I've been pepper sprayed normally like 10 sometimes more times than you should have okay yeah it's terrible every time it's it's it is awful I hate I would rather get tased I've been tased a few times myself yep seen that seen that days is definitely better than pepper spray but uh bare pepper spray it's technically less scoville units but it's so much more quantity. So, when I have... Like the fucking pressure on that thing is massive. It's a hose.

Because it's going to fuck a bear up. Yeah, it's a bear. I remember on the stuff we had on the label, it was like grizzly shrink. Grizzly shrink. So, I remember I... Ain't no pussy buying bears or little fuckers. This is me doing my bodybuilder versus act where I was like,

this, you know, grizzly's much weaker than me. What can they possibly do? And I come roaring. My cousin misses the first shot, hits me in the shoulder. And then the second shot coats my entire head. And then immediately I'm like, it's killing me. I grab the hose. It all washes down to my balls and genitals. Oh, no

One of the shortest videos I've ever posted I My cousin outro day and then I like immediately go to the shower and I'm like this is the closest time I've ever cried from pain because it's all on my You ever had your tip of your penis burn? Her name was It's all on my... Have you ever had your tip of your penis burn? No. Her name was... Leon, have you? I mean, define burn.

Like, I would rather my penis get cut off than keep this pain coming. It was so unbearable. I remember I had my cameraman give me, like, some aspirin and Tylenol. Did you dip your dick in milk? Were you like, no, it's bright. I think I tried everything. Like I was like, dawn dish soap.

It hurts. There's nothing you can do but time. No, that's time. You gotta let it digest. That was one of the worst. Outside of that, Thousand Paintballs was really bad for the 10 seconds.

Yeah. Yeah. Weird. Yeah. Uh, that was a disgusting video. Yeah. It was funny.

So we had, I have like a local paintball. Yes. Where I live. So funny. What's funny about it is, uh, I,

I was like, I hit a hundred thousand subs. You knows what? Thousand paintballs. That's a cool. So we did drink. We drink a lot. I did drink a half a pint of. You know what we did drink. We drank a lot. I did drink a half a pint of fireball

before that one. You know what to be honest you deserve that. That was for you. That's a win. But it was the end of a speedball tournament so they're all like yeah we'll shoot you. And I walked out. Multiple people you were on like a firing line. It was like 12-15 people

and they had the 30 rounds of second guns and the angels and the war pigs and all that these are real good speedballers right and this dude's like I don't know why that's the one that went viral but I guess that's the one that went viral and here we are and fucking 5 years later I'm chopping my dick off in a game

I play soccer with a bowling ball yeah that was a funny video that was another big one but a lot of your videos I play soccer with a bowling ball. Okay. Yeah. That was a funny video. That was another, that was another big one. Yeah. But a lot of your videos, the gif of that,

that one lives everywhere. It's the only person I'm like, why, why it cannot be worth the paycheck. It's not, we were driving home today or driving here. And I was like, bro,

if I had to do your job or war again for six months, I'm choosing war. I'm choosing. I haven't been to war. I'm going to war though. They both said it. I, I'm choosing war. War! I'm choosing war. I haven't been to war. I'm going to war, though. They both said it. Hey, you know what I like? It's like slapstick humor, which is an extreme,

an extreme version of it, right? Slap. Slap, yeah, but. It's a big stick. I actually generally have fun doing it. It hurts. Don't get me wrong. I don't get off to pain, okay?

You keep saying that. You should be asking a camera and lie. Listen, guys. It doesn't get me hard. I don't come to this. Hit me with the flower. I'm just like you guys. I'm just one of the bros. Pinch me. Stop asking me to hurt you

while we hang out. Pinch me. Pinch me. Oh! I didn't like that. Put a tie on quick. Put a tie on quick. You watching me just deep throats the mic real quick?

Like, stop it! AHHHHH! But, no, it's uh... You've really convinced us. I did a poor job there. I moaned when you pinched me why no but I think I like there's not enough of slapstick humor on YouTube I think you know what slapstick is right like three students yeah I think three stooges but

like YouTube is definitely crack down hard on it. Somehow I found a way to exist. Which I'm impressed by, by the way, that you can still do what you do now, and today's landscape is very impressive. I've had YouTube employees. Must have a great contact. I don't. I have some contacts, but I want to say they keep me online.

The Lord is on your side. God bless. God bless. but uh i want to say i want to say they keep me online the lord is on your side god bless god bless i've actually had a youtube employee once say uh i do not know how you're still on the website from the employee themselves yeah i was like one of the you know partner partner manager type stuff like i feel like so my assessment just and i don't know anything outside of your youtube i would think that aside from violations of tos on tiktok instagram whatever your shit would absolutely fucking crush on short form yeah yeah well yeah so like my first tiktok got deleted at 700k of course it did uh yeah and then my i have my i have a second one with like 325

but it does well i would imagine yeah yeah does instagram fuck you up too with their instagram is actually not too bad sometimes if something really pops off they might take it down yeah but it does well I would imagine does Instagram fuck you up too would there Instagram is actually not too bad sometimes if something really pops off they might take it down yeah it's always the popular ones

like no we can't let this get propagated now that 3 million people have seen this let's warn everybody that if you slam a fucking broadsword into your dick hole

it's maybe gonna hurt you so guys if you watch this make sure you don't do it yourself because it's dangerous. Because we live in a world where everyone's fucking idiotic and stupid and no one can think for themselves. So you can't do fucking shit online without people telling you it could possibly hurt. I'm sorry. No, actually.

Because it's like, that's why I'm mad too. Because, you know, I put a goddamn disclaimer in front of all my damn videos. Wait, people read those'm mad too because you know I put a goddamn disclaimer before on all my damn videos Wait people read those? No but you know Instagram should at least give them credit No for like on YouTube stuff so I'm like always like warning people this is don't do this whatever blah blah blah It just annoys me because like I actually have never went to the hospital once for one of my videos Get the fuck broken arm and it wasn't I mean the I was out

there with youtubers and they started recording me but it wasn't that was the wasn't yeah I rolled it yeah I rolled a side-by-side and stuck my arm out tried to catch it did you get nice yep did we just lessen the impact yeah lessen the impact you know what I'm pretty strong. Whoops, that didn't work. And my arm. But I've never went to the doctor for any of my stuff. So, like, I have somewhat of an idea of what I can handle. And I think I've successfully done it for years.

But I don't think anyone should recreate what I do. So, I don't see why that's a bad thing. This is the thing is I hate the idea. You get into a conversation about like yeah there are yeah you know

I'm gonna walk it back there's some dumb people out there I'm gonna walk it back because the world there is a lot of dumb people out there and I don't want to

hit on like I think that people in their 30s and someone who's close to 30 you shouldn't like you've lived a lot of your life

you understand like your limits and these things but there are young kids that are just kind of like finding themselves and they like look up to people that do fuck on that do you know your limits yeah i think it's he hasn't been to the hospital like from all the shit you've done to have not had to be hospitalized that's okay you know that's fair yeah yeah not once uh they're like i you know the videos definitely show the extremes but there is some semblance of planning beforehand right so it's like you know if there's a medieval weapon yeah if there's a yeah like so as you want like this is a funny uh comparison like uh example but uh first time i got shot with rubber buckshot uh oh i we actually tested it on like plywood from different ranges to see the dent comparisons the hole you mean

plywood skin skin yeah well they're like that comparison to like something like an airsoft so so i could i could get an idea of how bad it was and then we took it way far back until where the buckshot was completely missing me and we walked it a couple feet in and then again and then you know we got to yeah exactly feel a little bit then we got to a point where it was like okay no more yeah so that's kind of how we've struck i try to structure you didn't start point blank yeah i try to structure everything as like as far or or low power as possible and then ramp it up until I can't physically. I think I'm getting unsafe because I got to film with the video the next week. There you go.

Okay, on that though, what is and what scenario that you've filmed so far or haven't shown, what was the most unsafe where you're like, never mind, it's done? What have you bailed on? If you had to bail, just not make a video out of something or have you managed to salvage something on everything, I guess. I don't think I've ever bailed on an idea

if I haven't. I remember when I was supposed to have Luke Rockhold kick me in the liver. One time I didn't come, but that was weird. She failed. She failed. She failed. One of us didn't come. I'm just a high performance male.

Dude, liver shots are hands down the worst. Wicked ass buckshot. No, liver shot. Worst. So Luke Rockhold, former UFC middleweight champ. We were going to do it as we were in the mountains in Utah, right? And then my management came up, Leviathan, whatever. He said, you know what, Houston?

If you get kicked up here and something bad happens, we're going to have to call a helicopter. I'm like, you're right. We should probably wait until we get down to the mountain. So we went back to the Airbnb, and he kicked me there. So this is for reference. If a lot of people aren't gonna know this happened then too anyways though well this is for reference hold up your hand this is all it takes for a liver to drop you this this hard yeah that will fucking drop you to your goddamn knees if you've never

been hit in the liver directly in the liver it is is the worst. It makes you want to feel like you want to shit yourself. Now go on about being kicked by a UFC fighter in this liver. So I tell, to be fair, he and I were drinking some whiskey. The sponsor gave us some whiskey. And I was like, Luke, give me a 20% power. You know, I was walking myself in. I was trying to, like, Luke, give me a 20% power. Luke Rockhold's a very extreme kind of guy, okay?

His 20. You're 20, and he gave me a good old 75. And he told me that at the bar. He's like, man, most people couldn't handle that. And I was like, damn, I know, because I couldn't handle it. Yeah. I died. You saw me fall to the ground, right?

I flatlined. Yeah, damn, that fucking hurt. My ribs were sore for about a week and a half. I was going to say, this is like side, kind of like this region here. It's right up. It's this up here. Right there. You get right up in there.

It's right up. And literally, Leon. Yeah, yeah. You would literally just. It's fucking weird. Crumple. What are the rules about that in boxing that's where you aim for i aim for i fucking aim for the liver when i yeah so when

you're doing body balls you're trying to get them right under the ribs basically in the liver yeah that's what hooks are for it's like i'm gonna wait until i know he throws his power dominant hand i'm gonna slip and i'm gonna hit it beat on it and if you get a good one like it doesn't take much yeah it doesn't take much. Yeah. It doesn't take much. Uh, they can't get like, yeah. Luke Rockwell is known for KOing people.

Yeah. With kicks. Yeah. Not just liver. Yeah. Just kicks. Yeah. I think I saw a video from that same trip is where you got tased or something.

Oh, it was a, that was before Chuck Liddell tased me. Yeah. It was like the grass pile to catch your ass. They said they were going to catch you and no one caught you. No. Okay, this is the first time I actually met some of these guys like Kentucky, Donut, Cody,

Cody, all of them. They were actually up in my hometown, like 10 minutes away from my house. Yeah. So, you know, I was kind of hanging out with them for a couple of days and then I was like, so Chuck Liddell is going to tase me, sponsored by Taser. They weren't happy about it, by the way. What a thought. And I was like, anyone want to catch me?

And they were like, no. I'm like, all right, I'll fall in this pile of leaves. And Grand was there, and I was like, Kentucky, you know, like, military guy, police guy, and they're like, what, what you guys think? People normally fall forward, right? And they're like, yeah, you definitely fall forward, man. You be, everyone falls forward. Everyone knows that. You fall forward when you get tased.

I'm like, all right. I got the, the clear from, you know, these two guys. The vet. The vet and the police man. The experienced dudes. The experienced dudes. What's the worst that could happen? I get tased.

I fold up like I'm going to fall into a coffin. Straight back. Smash your head. Luckily, I seized up so much, my head curled up. Good. And I was fine. I actually just showed that to him. Did they hit you with the prongs?

Yeah, with the prongs. It was a taser pulse. Luckily, those taser pulse run for 30 seconds. I fell, so I snapped the cord. That's pretty good. Then I also hammered the prong into my back. Oh, yeah. They had a yank.

So I came to, and then we did it again. Yeah. That was my first, like, oh, it's Houston. You're the guy who did the mime shit. Yeah. Love it. Oh, my. Goddamn, man.

It's fun. Hey, listen, it's fun time you know you and i have a very different definition of fun like i'll be like yeah let's do some shots we'll play some games and then when you say shots and games yeah shoot paintball guns me and leon would be down for like 18 weeks you with me too i'm like no phone it Phone it in. Tell my family I'm gone for a while. I'm taking a vacation. The tough part is still going to the gym with all these injuries. So I wanted to mention this. Like the breadth of the things that you do from World of Warcraft,

which is like Nerd Mountain Dew Cheetos. Yeah. Like a fat, disgusting ass for somebody who was like competitive in arenas. To a man that's competed in bodybuilding, is absolutely fucking ripped and jacked currently. Great abs. Thank you. His arms are making me self-conscious. I've been next to him for like 90 minutes.

You're taller. That's the only thing I can fall back on. Thank you. He took his shirt off when he rode in the car. Beat the piss out of yourself and then find a way to weave in all these things. It's very impressive. If you don't get enough credit, I want to give you credit.

Like I know, like you said, people see it as like slapstick. Yeah. Right? For sure. But there is an element of work ethic behind it that I think I want to commend. Thank you. Because it's like incredible what you've been able to do, not only on the YouTube side, but like then in your personal life and your bodybuilding, gaming, and being able to do, not only on the YouTube side, but like then in your personal life and your bodybuilding,

gaming, and being able to balance those things and whatever. And that's not even mentioning relationships, family stuff. Do you contribute that to no kids and no relationship? Hey, definitely.

Yes. You know what? I have no kids. There cannot be. He's looking, everyone. Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for watching the No Program Podcast. As always we have Eli Doubletail and myself by the streams.

And our very wonderful guests Liam Lush and Houston Jones. Thank you so much for coming out. We'll see you guys on the after show. Wait, where do we find? Oh, yep. Where do we find you? We're going to be able to have a show on Patreon. And then where do we find you both on your social media places and things?

Houston Jailings, you'll find me probably. Maybe. Hopefully. Houston's on YouTube. No, no. That's it. Mine is please subscribe to LeonLush.net. It's the type it out.

I created that in 1997. It's a Netscape website, and I haven't 1997. It's a Netscape website and I haven't taken it down. A Netscape website? Yeah. What is the fire? What's the fire? Good search. Firefox?

No, that's still Firescape. What was it? The old website when you built your own websites. Back in the 90s. Oh, shit. No. Fuck. This is before.

Oh, oh. Mediafire. Mediafire? No, it was close, uh, Mediafire. Mediafire? No, it was close. I think Mediafire was uploading stuff. Like, like, that was like a mega, mega video and all that shit where you would upload your videos. There was a website where it was like, build your. MediaCube or something.

God, we're old. Doesn't matter. Good shit. Doesn't matter. Thank you. More press. Beautiful. I love you.

Okay. Go pee right now. Also, i don't need a girlfriend i got a dog