Unsubscribe Podcast - 111 - ESCAPE FROM A CANNIBAL ft. ZexsOG & Sergeant Heine

Episode Date: June 23, 2023

no caps today. legit gotta be the craziest story we've had on Unsub. sheesh.  GO FOLLOW OUR FRIENDS https://www.twitch.tv/sergeantheine https://www.twitch.tv/zexsog ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!! Sheath Underwear Go to https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ and use promo code UNSUBSCRIBE for 20% off your order. GhostBed Right now GhostBed is offering 30% off everything if you use the code –UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or visit https://www.ghostbed.com/unsubscribe Manscaped Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code UNSUB at https://www.manscaped.com/ 1stPhorm GO BUY 1st PHORM www.1stphorm.com/unsubscribe Honey Get PayPal Honey for FREE at www.JoinHoney.com/unsub. That’s Join Honey dot com slash unsub. ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW:  https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/  CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie-            @BaddieStreams   https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -Eli_Doubletap-             @EliDoubletap   https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by GVAN https://www.twitch.tv/gvan11b https://www.instagram.com/gvan11b/ https://twitter.com/GVAN_CC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Real quick, this was filmed after the episode you're about to watch. This story was fucking insane. So we had to sit back down and retell it. We're just going to drop it in somewhere in the beginning. This shit is wild. So if you watch the rest of the podcast, we hadn't heard this yet. This is insane. Okay, real quick.

Sarnage, please, if you don't mind, start this story over. What the fuck? This is one of the few. We've never done this where it's like everything's ended and we just sat back down. Put in all the cards. Go. Yeah. Okay.

So I'm going to retell a story I was telling these guys. This is a true story about how I met a cannibal in the Air Force and almost became on the menu. So I will start from the very beginning. Please do. All right. Here we go. So for all the veterans out there, everybody who's in boot camp, whatever branch you're in, everybody had that one guy that just blended in.

You never knew his name. You never even knew he existed, but he was there, right? He never got smoked, never got yelled at, but dude was always there, right? You're Jeffrey Dahmer, if you will. Yes. So I'm going to change names for obvious reasons. So I'm going to call him Hannibal, okay, for obvious reasons. So Hannibal in my boot camp was there, existed. And every time I saw this guy, he had his BCGs on. If you guys don't know

what those are, birth control goggles. He always had those on and he always stood and had his head kind of turned with a little smile on his face, right? So every time I saw him, that's who I saw, right? Never got yelled at, always blended in. So we graduate bootcamp and at Lackland Air Force Base for security forces training, we just go to the other side of the base. So they all shipped us up and I noticed he was going to security forces with me. So I was like, okay, I noticed him, right? I just noticed him again. We go to the other side of the base. And again, through security forces training, I never saw him talking to anybody. I never saw him hanging out with anybody and never got yelled at

Never got in trouble dude just existed right never even heard him speak We graduate security forces training and again They divide us all up because they're shipping people all over to bases all around the world So me and him we're going to I don't think I'm gonna say the base We were gonna go we're going to the same base together, but it was just you two. Yeah, just two of us So I for the first time speak to him and like hello Hannibal We were going to the same base together. But it was just you two. It was just two of us. So I, for the first time, speak to him. I'm like, hello, Hannibal.

I'm Jacob. Nice to meet you. Since we're going to be together, I'm fresh out of high school, just left my parents. And I'd be good to know that somebody has my back. Can we want to have dinner, get to know each other, hang out? And he's like, yeah, I think that's a good idea. So we went and got Texas Roadhouse. As we sat down, the waitress walked up

and was like, how? What can I get you guys? And she starts with Hannibal. And Hannibal goes, yes, I would like to have a steak raw, please. And I was like, raw. Number one. This is not rare.

Not a two-second steak. He wants not even cold blue or blue still, whatever it is not rare. Oh, man. This is not rare. Not a two-second steak. He wants not even cold blue or blue still, whatever it is, raw. And I've heard of old-timers and places before where they eat raw beef. So I was like, weird, but I've heard of it before, but weird. Japan and its fish. And she's like, well, sir, we can't give you a raw steak. That's not legal. But he's like, well, sir, we can't give you a raw steak. That's not legal. But he's like, well, how raw can you make?

And she's like, we can sear it on both sides. How about that? And he's like, that sounds good. What can I get you? And I was like, well, definitely have a cooked steak, please. Medium rare. And then she leaves. And I was like, okay, this is weird.

And then we continue small talk and you know each other. Fast forward. Now we're at the base together, right? We're going through something called first time airman's course and that's where they're like hey if you get sick this is where you go and if you have financial problems this is where you go and it's basically teaching you how to uh maneuver around how to exist in the air force exactly right so i started noticing these red flags because i'm spending every day with this guy right and the first another big red flag that came came up was we were in the BX and he just walks up to me and goes, hey, I'm hungry.

Do you have anything? And I'm just like, sorry, man. Don't have any food on me. He's like, do you have any dip? I'm like, yeah, sure, dude. I pull up my Copenhagen, you know, pack it, crack it open. And he grabs a big three finger pinch, puts it on his tongue and just swallows it and i'm just like whoa bro that's that's hardcore i never thought about eating dip when i was hungry

hmm interesting i i that continue yeah i'm right i was just like okay all, all right, right on, man. Mind-blowing. So that same day, do you guys remember the Spike energy drink? Yeah. Remember how crazy it is? This dude bought a six-pack of that and drank it all. I don't even know how that's possible. So this dude was something else. Yeah, this dude was like just a human. Built different.

Yeah, he was built different, right? Built broken. Yeah. Fast-forwarding some time now, right? Now we're working together. We're on the same shift. I'm the only one with a car. I'm driving him from the barracks or the dorms to work and back and forth.

I'm literally spending every minute with this dude besides going to our rooms, right? So I meet him out at the smoke pit after work day once. And he's out there. And he would sit there facing the mountains, right? And he would just stare at there while people would come around, hang out, talk, and smoke. He would would sit there facing the mountains, right? And he would just stare at their wall. People would come around, hang out, talk and smoke. He would just be staring at the mountains. And he would have like five or six packs of cigarettes just laid out in front of him.

Like not individual cigarettes, like packs. Packs of cigarettes, yes. And he would sit there and just smoke them until they were all gone. Like he would go pack, pack, pack. He'd be out there all night just smoking, staring at the mountains. And I walked up, I sat down. I was like, hey man, can I get one of your cigarettes? He's like, yeah, sure.

Here you go. Gives me a cigarette. I'm sitting there. We're smoking, hanging out. I'm like, so we got, I was like, hey man, can I get one of your cigarettes? He's like, yeah, sure, here you go. Gives me a cigarette. I'm sitting there, we're smoking, hanging out. I'm like, so, we got a three-day weekend, man. You got anything exciting planned? You gonna do anything? He's like, well, I was thinking about going into town, finding a homeless person, killing him, taking out all of his organs,

and I think I'm going to stack them into like a pyramid. And it's gonna be like art. And then I think I'm going to stack them into like a pyramid and it's going to be like art. And then I think I'm going to eat him. And I'm like, all right, man. Sounds good. And I just go inside. I was like, what the fuck? I'm like, is he joking or is he?

I don't know. Like, I can't tell. That's the one when you like, you fuck at that barracks door and closes it and you're like, what is he fucking with me? You do this through the the window you just like Yes, just peek it and he's still just smoking out there. Yeah, and he looks at you through the window Oh, he's seen me I couldn't read this guy like I he was just so weird. I couldn't read him like I don't know if he's joking

You're serious.. Fast forward again. We meet back at the smoke pit. He's out there smoking, doing his thing with all his packs of cigarettes. I'm like, hey, man, can I get one of your cigarettes? He's like, here you go. Hey, how do you feel about the orders to Iraq? Because we got orders to Iraq, right? And we're going to be deploying together.

And I'm like, how do you feel about that, man? You're like, you're cool. You're nervous. And he's just like, well, I can't wait to get to Iraq and kill my first Iraqi and then make some jerky out of him. I'm just like, okay, well, yeah, have a good night, man. And I'm going to go back and say, I'm like, what the fuck? I'm like, this dude is so fucking weird. Like, what the hell?

He might be serious. I don't know. I love how you just kept giving him second chances. Well, you know, you meet some weird people in the military, man. You meet some very fucking weird people. Oh, you know, you meet some weird people in the military, man. You meet some very fucking weird, 100%. Some really fucked up weird people. And I'm just like, I don't know if this is his coping method,

dark humor. There's a lot of dark humor, a lot of coping. Like that's just the way people live their lives. And it never means anything. Right. Until it does. Until it does. I had one that pooped in the shower every time.

Pooped in the shower before he leave. He took a shower, pooped right there in the shower. And he leave and we'll come back. Who shit in the shower? What the heck is this shit? But we know it was him. He got kicked out. But we know it was him.

Phantom shitter. Yeah. Okay. So fast forward some time. Now we're, again, we're working together still. And it was a late shift. Something happened. It was a bunch of stuff happened on shift.

And it ended up being like a 16 hour shift. We were dead. And we turn our gear in, we get into my car and we're driving back to the barracks and he's just passed out in my passenger seat. And at this point I was kind of getting annoyed of him. Cause I'm like, I'm driving this dude to work every day. He hasn't bought a car. He makes the same amount of money I do. He hasn't bought in a car, but he's a bum. Right. And I'm like, I'm sitting there looking, I'm like, you know what? I'm going to fuck with you. So as we're driving, I decided to slam on my brakes and go oh my god dear and you know he wakes up he's like oh like I got you and he's just like

five o'clock tonight you're gonna die and he just leans back in a seat goes back to sleep I'm just like hey like what the fuck like are you serious like are you threatening me and he wouldn't wake up he just kept his eyes closed it's like okay what the fuck drive back to the barracks we both get out we go in and he goes down his hallway and i go down my hallway and the barracks if you think about it's just a one long hallway with doors just staggering all the way down like a hotel exactly like a hotel wake up the next morning starving starving. I go out, I get food from the, from the chow hall, bring it back, park my car. As I'm walking inside, I'm fumbling with my keys

and I walk up to my door. And as I walk up to my door, I noticed there was a plate with a napkin, a knife and a fork and a spoon just laid out very like nicely in front of my door. And I stop and I'm looking at it like just confused and dumbfounded. Like, why is this in front of my door? Why would this be here? Okay. And I'm sitting there just kind of like, what the fuck? I looked down the hallway. Nobody looked on the hallway. Nobody looked back down at the plate. I'm like, okay. Look down the hallway, look down the hallway. And at the very end, at the very end of the hallway, he's standing at the very end at the very end of the hallway he's standing at the hallway with his head turned and his little smile just staring at me and i'm like hey did you do this because at this point i'm pissed like i'm tired of this dude he's weird like i'm starting to get a little freaked out i'm like he said he was gonna kill me in the car so i'm like dude did you do

this and he's just sitting there staring at me i'm like all right i'm right here you want to sell this let's sell this right now and And he just... I fucking hate it. And he just goes into his room. I'm like, you weird motherfucker. I hate how you look down the hallway. Nothing. You turn, man. You look down.

Like a horror movie, bro. And then you turn. He's standing there. Like a fucking horror movie. It's like when you blink. He's like eight doors closer. Yes. Like, ah!

Ah! Like... Yeah. It's like a script. It's like a horror movie, man swear so i pick up the plate i walk in i'm like a weird motherfucker i throw the stuff in the trash and fast forward to the very next day where we're going back to work together okay i wake up normally he's out in the day room so we get together we go to my car and we go to guard mount and no issues right i go out to the day room he's not there so i'm like fuck so yep i go down i'm gonna knock on his door and just like a horror movie i go knock on his

door and it's open it just opens up and it's just pitch black i'm like yo hannibal you in here no answer i start walking in i'm peeking around the corner you hannibal you in here man and all i hear is i'm right here And there's this dude in full kit, right? All this stuff, everything on just sitting in the darkness in the chair. And he stands up and he's like, I'm ready. I'm like, okay, sounds good. Let's go. We got, we got to go, man. So we go, we get in the car, we get to work and fast forward to that night. Okay. Fast forward to that night. He was at the entry control point, which he's just checking all IDs all night long. Okay.

It's just a little gate shack, maybe 12 feet long, six feet wide. He's just checking IDs all night. And I was his area supervisor driving around. So my flight chief comes over and says, hey, are you with me at the entry control point? And I was like, Roger that. As I'm coming up to entry control point, I see my flight chief pulling up. I park in the back. He parks in the front. Flight chief walks out. I address him, get to attention, sir. Airman Hiney reports. Police, all security, like I said, the call sign,

all security requests a post briefing. And he's like, nah, let's go inside. And I was like, Roger that. He opens up the door. And when he goes to step inside, he stops abruptly, right? And I actually walk into the back of my flight chief. Like I bump into him. I was like, Oh shit, Sergeant, my bad. I'm like, and he's just standing there. He's not moving. And I'm like, okay, we're going to go inside. Like it's fucking cold out here. Sergeant, can you step inside please? And he's just not moving. He's not budging. And I look up at the back of his head and I see him doing this. He's just like looking around kind of like frantically. I'm like, what the hell is going going on and then I see him draw his gun and point it and say airman Hannibal I need you to stand up right now and he should put your gun

on the ground and at this point I'm like what the fuck like whoa do I draw my gun like I'm a brand new airman right scary I'm like do I draw my gun like what's going on like what the fuck I'm like a little kid trying to peek around their dad like what's what's happening? Like, I wanna see, move, move, I wanna see what's going on. What my sergeant saw when he walked in was a- Sorry, how old would you think your sergeant was? 25, probably 26. He was in his six, so- 25, 26?

No, I would say early 30s. Okay, okay. Yeah, Air Force, yeah. I would say early 30s. Okay. He opens the door and yeah, he's... Okay, sorry. What he saw was a trail of blood leading all the way up to Airman Hannibal, okay?

And Airman Hannibal had blood all over his hands, all over his face, all over the counter, and all over the microwave. Airman Hannibal had a pocket knife and was cutting strips of meat off of his arm. He was taking those strips and he was putting them in the microwave. And while it was cooking, he would wrap his arm, right? And then he would pull out the meat, eat it, take the bandage off,

cut off another piece, put it in the microwave and rinse and repeat. Yes. So as now, so my sergeant saw all that and put that all together. He saw that this airman had an M4 full kit. I forgot how many magazines we had at the time, but he had an M4 full kit, M9 full kit.

And he's like, I need to disarm this guy immediately. Like, I need to get this gun away from him. Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer or enjoy over 3,000 games to choose from like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz. Make instant deposits or same-day withdrawals. Download the BetMGM Ontario app today. Visit BetMGM.com for terms and conditions.

19 plus to wager Ontario only. Please gamble responsibly. If you have questions or concerns about gambling or someone close to you, please contact Connex Ontario at 1-866-531-2600 to speak to an advisor free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. So he had him drop all his gear, put it on the ground. And as he had him come towards him, he's like, hey, Airman Hannibal, are you okay?

He's like confused, like Sergeant, I'm fine. He's like, you're not okay. Like, you know what? Come here, come sit down. And as he's bringing them out, he looks at me. He's like, get his guns and get him the fuck out of here. And I was like, roger that, sir. And I go over there and I grab his guns.

I go put it in my vehicle. And he sits him down outside. He's like, hey, do you want to tell me he's like get his guns and get him the fuck out of here and i was like roger that sir and i go over there and i grab his guns i go put it in my vehicle and he sits him down outside he's like hey do you want to tell me what's going on like are you okay he's like sergeant i'm fine like why are you asking me this and he's dude's got blood all over his face like a fucking zombie right he's like i'm fine he like completely disassociated he called ambulance right ambulance came up they put him in the back of the ambulance, and that's the last I ever saw of him. He never came back to the squadron. From what I heard, everything from here on out is hearsay because I'm an airman and it's all being trickled down as rumors. The hearsay was, is that he went to a mental hospital and they kept him there until the discharge and everything went through because they thought he was a danger to himself and others

and they just kept him there. So fast forward some i'm curious i'm only hearing rumors right i walk into my flight chief's office he's at the computer typing now i knock once i'm like sir and he's like enter i walk in i'm like sorry what the fuck what happened to airman hannibal and he literally sat up and he pushed his seat back and he stood up and he's like if you ever fucking talk about that night if you ever talk about what happened that day again you're fucking done do you hear me and i'm just like oh okay roger roger that's right he's like don't ever talk i don't want to hear your time out between other people he's like that shit stops and i could see it in his eyes that it fucked him up like he was like he was dealing with it still and he's like

his ptsd came from that yeah and i was like roger that sergeant it still. And he's like. Holy shit. His PTSD came from that. Yeah, and I was like, roger that, Sergeant. Wow. And I was like, okay. Yeah, and I didn't say anything else after that. Everything else was rumors. And I can, I'll fill you guys in a little bit more off podcast, but I don't want to give too many details away for other stuff.

Wait, is there any good like ones that are like. Is there any, was there a resolution? So there is a reason why they, from my commander, they're like, nobody's talking about this. It's because there was a high profile base. from my commander they're like nobody's talking about this it's because there was a high profile base and what we were guarding if that were to get out that a guy was eating himself guarding this that would be literally the worst possible news probably to come out nation in the united states like hey military member while guarding these individuals was eating himself you know like oh god so they're like

you are not to speak of this no one is to speak of this you heard it here guys don't tell anybody what you just heard ever if you ever see anybody eating himself in the military don't say nothing did you google him so yes i had i had somebody who works in the system and i was like hey can you look up this individual and figure out what happened to him and where he went? He's like, this dude's got no socials, nothing. I got no information on him. Oh, he's straight out eating people right now. Because if he was in a town, I would literally call the sheriff and be like, hey, you guys got any missing reports?

Because I would start with this guy. I would start here. Any dead homeless people with weirdly stacked organs? No dead ends, man. I've searched him on all social medias. I know his full name. I know where he's from. Nothing.

So I'm like, is he even alive? I don't even know if this dude's alive. I think they put him in a ditch, put him in a hole. Or if he's still locked up. Who knows, man? This was probably 10 years ago. That is hands down one of the most crazy military stories I've ever heard. Dude was just cooking bacon.

He was making bacon strips. Bacon strips. He was making bacon strips and eating it. Not one at a time. One at a time. I'm not eating bacon no more. I just like... What the fuck? He was 100% okay with it. He was just like, I'm fine,

Sergeant. Why are you asking me? As he's eating his crispy arm pieces. His skin, though. Wow. I like you trying to be friends with him. You were so patient. I'm a nice guy.

You didn't say a thing. You're a nice guy. We're humans. I'm a nice guy. You remember that guy? It's like, and then after he does this and he eats eight people, you're like, I didn't see it coming. Actually, I did.

Yeah, I did. There was a lot of, that's why I was like, bah. I should have called the police. That's my bad. I started drawing the lines. I was like, oh shit. And that's where the story came from. I was like, holy fuck.

This goes way back. Like, damn. He was going to eat me. Dude was going to kill me. He was going to eat you. He was going to fucking eat me. He was going to eat you. I wanted my hiney.

Well, now we have the title for this. Yeah. Exactly where the name comes from. He just read your last name. He's like, who's this asshole? Hiney. That sounds tasty. Yeah, let me get some of that hiney.

Dinner plate out front. Yeah. A can of fava beans. have fun enjoying the rest of your podcast now it's racially ambiguous and batty that guy's fucking ridiculous we don't know best not to ask yourself why but my friend you've arrived welcome to unsubscribe It's vodka and your first form Shit We haven't clapped yet clap go There we go. Just clap like 14 episodes or if we have I forgot so we were drinking

All right on that on that on that. Oh, yeah, we got a pop the tops everyone get ready pull it by drink hurry We'll do a double really you're dude You're such a shill go Welcome to the podcast as always Eli double tap myself bad eat streams and of course our two beautiful strong great Mustache just so prettytyStreams, and of course our two beautiful, strong, great mustaches. Oh, just so pretty. We have ZexOG and of course SirenHine. Welcome, guys. Welcome to the fucking podcast.

Did I say your name right? Hiney. Fuck! Sorry, nobody gets it right. I was like this whole time. I didn't. No, nobody gets it right. It's fine.

It's actually, every time, I literally was talking about this on the way here, I'm like, SirenHine, I'm not going to call him Hiney. That's rude. That's right. That's disrespectful. You read it and you're like sergeant twat waffle it's definitely not better yeah it's definitely not go with

i called him sorry haney for like ever and this is the dude that doesn't correct you because he's just so nice you're nice you are way too fucking nice he's like uh it's good no that's my name uh i was like wait is this aren our Haney or Hiney? This aren't Haney. We've been playing games for six months. Why haven't you corrected a single time at that time? Do you have like a counter on your stream every time somebody fucks something up? Every time they say your name wrong, you're like, oh, there's another fucking.

Heen, Haney. Dude, this goes on and on and on. Wait, what? So many, what? Heen. Oh, Heen? I hear Heen all the all the time yeah it's just people try not to say heine it's all it is like everyone will go to great lengths to not say something that sounds kind of inappropriate it's not that there's no way heen heen it's just come drinker you're uh, is Kume drunky drink? Kume drinker. Is it cum drinker? I would just be straight with you. Super excited to do this sheath ad read today. I'm actually wearing my

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and you know what pandas eat. Bam boo? Betty would you like a drink? No but for the sake of this ad yes. It's my wee wee hole. Cheers sheath. to sheath underwear calm and use code unsubscribe for 20% off the most comfortable underwear You'll ever wear that sheath underwear calm use code unsubscribe to save 20% go get some comfortable underwear Hi guys, welcome you guys flew in we got some some twitch boys and an army Is it parade rest? Parade rest. Parade rest. What the fuck?

You're so. Yeah, he doesn't know the difference. He doesn't know the difference. There we go. Bro, you just. Where'd you graduate, Zags? Master leader course, man. Dude, we got a fucking E8.

Y'all better be at fucking parade rest on this podcast. I love we got an E8. We just graduated. I can't wait for you to make summer major and come back on it so we can destroy your career. It depends how it goes. I don't think I'll come back depending. Bro, what happened? Guys, we can't hang out anymore.

Every branch now we got well, no. Air Force. Okay. Not every branch then we got well no uh air force okay not every branch then and then military army reserves army national guard were you national guard two reserves yeah guard why is there two different versions of that fucking same organization reserves can't get state funding the guard gets state and federal funding why because fuck the reservists for some reason dude like do they just get the shit into the stick the reserves literally get fucked more than the national guard which is wild to me they literally get the stick and that's it yeah i've never been in that side of the army reserve i know about the army national guard it's been amazing to me but again we get all the bad

equipment yeah oh yeah i mean it's like the marines when you go over i don't know when we went over there we go and the marines had like the m16 a4 i always felt bad you walk in you're like what the fuck here is why that guy has an m1 grant yeah those are dangerous yeah this is like 2010 and they're still in soft armor um these fucking m4 grants yeah so what they what the active duty doesn't want they just flip flip down to the reserve and army national guard. That's what we do. I mean, it still works, though.

We do make it happen. Hell yeah. And then we got a big star in age. Air Force. Big star. Air Force. Air Force. How is it right now?

Because we've done this fucking one. We're on episode 22, I think. And. It's the shirt. Yeah. It's really bad unsub the bad it's like now now just stop it right now just stop it right now but getting how what are the nerves going on because i remember my first podcast with i think it was drinking bros and it was like freddie wong and the other guys. I was like, I'm so nervous right now. What are you guys? I'm a little shaky right now.

I've never been in a podcast. But you drank a lot last night, too. Did I? So those are alcoholic shits. Really, Eli? Really? You're going to tell people they drank a lot. Yeah, I'll be honest with you. I got a new name, though. You know how they call me, though? Juan, the Juan DeLorean, Juan Cruz.

Juan Van Dam, Juan Troubadour. So now they call me Juan Chess. Ouch. Juan Chess? Juan Chess. Oh, we're going to play chess after this. He beat me last night. Twice. Not once. Twice. Twice in a row. You didn't call me one chess. I lost in chess. Okay, so real quick, because a lot of people, Doraenons, aren't going to know who you guys

are. A few of us who actually watch our Twitch streams will. But Eli, how do you know these two wonderful, sexy, powerful, strong, beautiful gentlemen? Okay, actually, really good. Great credit score. These are sexy sexy fun twitch boys i can tell the next story i actually wanted to ask sarah h what the fuck how did we meet boot campaign no wait did i know did i just ran did i just randomly pop in you popped in my stream

yeah and you dropped a follow and they're like I'm like, you know who the fuck that is? I'm like, Ellie? And I don't know who Ellie is. Yeah, Ellie. Ellie Double Tap? She sounds so hot. I'm like, Double Tapper. But then you reached out to me, man. You're like, hey, would you be interested in doing a boot campaign? And I was like, absolutely. And then later on, I met up with you guys on Call of Duty.

Yes. The rest is history. That was, yeah, I forgot about that because I couldn't remember. I was like, oh, did I raid him back in the day? I'm not the only one who forgets how i've met people like i wish i could figure out how i met you but unfortunately here we are just one beard makeout session later we were good day one literally the day he and i came together like you want to pretend to make out like dudes do we're like yeah let's be dads while we're at it

That was and then we started a whole thing for Tarkov for a while with it. We do dad runs Oh my god, that's what they were cuz for a long week He was the bird watcher he's like guys if you look at the Western African walking around dick cheney motherfuckers like is that a bird no it's my friend yeah we were walking around with 12 so you had to have a 12 gauge the fishing vest and then play woods we just walk around just few dads the entire time

makeup stories so okay that's how I met you Zex it was Matt Best me and they're like hey we're gonna play some war zone with army it was an army national guard sports team was doing a It was Matt Best, me, and they were like, hey, we're going to play Subwar Zone with Army National Guard. It was an Army National Guard sports team was doing an influencer stream with Matt. Yes. That's what it was.

And we got done. Actually, we got a dub on the last game. And that's when I met you. I remember. You called me ESPN8. Yeah, because I was like, what the fuck is this dude saying? Ocho, Z, ESPN Ocho. The Ocho.

Translated. Oh, man. They were like, hey, you guys are going to play with these people. I was like, cool, fucking. He's like, Zex is good. He's a pro on the Army esports team. I was like, bro, fucking dope. And we're playing.

And he was way, way better than Matt and me at that time. We were, like, happy when we got four kills. We were like, fuck it, we own this game. Playing with him, watching his movements. But he had, like, very golden guns. And then he started talking. I was like, oh, this dude has Spanish as fuck. He's like, hey, man, okay, what are we doing?

I was like, hold up, continue? Eli puts on his accent. Oh, yeah. He's like, I got to fit in. Yeah, instantly. I was just like, oh, I got gotta fuck with this guy I was like we have it you had the gold guts I was like this is Puerto Rican is it good like all his kids and everything I was just like this dude right here his accent and then and then yeah the rest is history and friends man that's it and then I got them to link through just at war zone. I want to say yeah

I remember that one to you guys send me a message. I got this guy's gonna play with us and I'm like, I hope he's not a bot Yeah, I'm very competitive No, no, no, it's not that it's just hearing somebody my father's age call people One daddy Jesus Christ on the podcast right now. So, again, V-O-G. This is a boomer right here. Last night, he went to search for headphones or something.

He was like, oh, Eli, here, let me show you something. He sits down on the thing, and then he's like, okay. He goes to the scroll bar. He's like, www.google.com google.com and then something i was like hold the fuck up your keyboard's not lighting up yeah you said my keyboard didn't light up i was like what the fuck i was like you realize you can just type whatever you want in the search bar and it pops up i was like you are a saint for coming out of this goddamn shit show.

I had a couple shots last night, Batty. It was a couple shots. I was a little bit out of my comfort zone. Eli's always trying to get over to you a couple shots. That food was fucking dope. It's our age. He's just here. I was just existing last night. I was in rough shape last night, but we had a good time.

We had good food. We had good everything, and now we're all playing Diablo 4. I went home and took a nap. Remember I said I was going to shape last night, but we had a good time. We had good food. We had good everything. And now we're all playing Diablo 4. I went home and took a nap. Remember I said I was going to take a nap? I woke up at like 11 p.m. Oh, you took a coma. Oh, man. I took a sleep.

I went to bed. I just napped for... I was like, you know, I'm not going to stream today. I'm going to take a day off. I haven't taken a day off in a minute. God. Pacify. Yeah, I just fucking... Yeah, that was the end. I'm going to take a day off. I haven't taken a day off in a minute. God, pacify. Yeah, I just fucking, yeah, that was the end of it.

Game over, man. No. What the fuck? Get that couch. Did you do any Diablo 4? Everyone, we're playing Diablo 4. That is what we're all doing right now is sorcerer. The fuck you think?

What's your job? I'm a goddamn wizard, motherfucker. I'm a sorcerer. That was right. Sorcerer. was right so sir i got two i got sorcerer halfway and negro halfway to what halfway to 50 25 yeah that's all weird it's not even 25 what do you mean halfway to the levels of hundreds you know well there's 20 so it's like what but you gotta get 50 finish the campaign before 50 so i'm almost at 50 i was 53 or 54 when i after when i finished the campaign you could beat it at 30 something like i people are beating it before then too yeah you do it at 100 there is no cap or like

there's no school guys sorry i've been i haven't have no time to play that is very true and that would have been level 100 by now oh Oh, shit. Oh, I know. I can. I can. I can. I can grind. It's just game and game and game. I mean, I've got the word yet.

How far have you gone? Eli? Fifty one or two. Do that. That. Where are you at right now? Thirty, I think. Do that.

So far behind. When you hit fifty one fifty that the XP takes a tremendous hit on how fast you level up you can do the paragons and grind after yeah well i mean so after 50 all you want to be doing is is hell like end game stuff the things like called hell tides just you just live on world tier 3 now never go back uh once you get above like 55 have a friend who's over 70 run you through your capstone so you can jump to the next world here which basically in in non-nerd terms means you go from like the third hardest difficulty to the hardest difficulty in the game and you have a friend run you through harder difficulties more experience you level quicker uh better loop things like that

and that's that's what i had somebody run me through that so i could just live on the hardest world here which is really hard to survive because everything one shot you but at the same time your xp flies you literally just stand at the intro i you're at the entrance you're like your buddy just clears for you watching youtube videos yeah i definitely didn't do that you done can i run can i run through and pick up all the gold now and then you're guys like just running through the mini map and you see all the legendary drops of pain. That's literally me. You guys get on your mounts right away. I don't have a mount.

I'm sitting here just getting destroyed by everything. That's all we hear. You're like, can you come back, please, bro? Please, please, please, please. No, no, no, no. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. Let me tell you something.

He's looking at him. Where are steeds? We're like, fuck off. It was just right in the distance. And then we hear you like their honor, their honor, but they're about to kill me.

Okay. All I can hear is you can't keep up. That's all I can hear right now. First form game is 15 seconds to do now. First form. Opti Green 50! Michael Factor! First four dot com slash unsubscribe! First four!

Diablo 4 has been, for everybody who's looking for a new game to play right now, get Diablo 4. It is Diablo 2, 2 truly with better graphics and updated stuff there are some differences obviously it's been fucking 30 years but the game is just fun i think i'm at 65 or 66 right now and it is great and i'm waiting probably another week but i'm starting a hardcore character and for doesn't week but i'm starting a hardcore character and for it doesn't know what that means if a hardcore character dies it's permanently dead

normally if a character dies you can revive at a checkpoint you can have a friend revive you doesn't really matter you take a little durability on your armor or whatever but hardcore characters you it dies it's it's gone gone and the max level in the game is 100 and right now blizzard the company who made this is inscribing your name on a giant statue of a demon mommy. Her name's Lilith. We love you. And if you get to level 100 on a hardcore character, meaning no deaths all the way to level 100,

which is over 100 hours of just grinding, they'll inscribe your name on this statue, this full-size, massive, hot, sexy, powerful, one-toucher statue. Huge personalities. your name on this statue this full-size massive hot sexy powerful one-toucher statue and huge personality as of right now the game came out on uh pre-release was the second i believe we are up to like 280 players what happened to the first who happened to the first player to hit 100 uh the very first player who hit 100 got his name obviously inscribed on the statue and then logged back in uh was doing some easy grinding, some easy farming of loot, and his game disconnected and it killed his character.

So there have been all the major deaths. Dude, did you just see the druid? He was almost to hit 100, and he did a TP, and it did the TP glitch kill. So you just like TP, game glitched out. He was like, I don't know what. He spawned dead? Yeah. It's just like tp game glitched out he's like i don't know what he's like on dead yeah it's just like your case so level 90 something and just hundreds of hours instantly if you want

if you want like even if you don't understand gaming if you go to youtube right now and you type diablo 4 hardcore character deaths compilation bro i'm gonna have to watch it now it is it is gonna change you as a person to watch people break just mentally break it is fucking hilarious kudos to every hardcore player i've seen uh one friend of ours um who's done some uh charity stuff with us before one peg he uh he has lost like seven hardcore characters over level 50 two of which were in the 70s couples in the 50s most of which i think five of these are four of these characters he lost to disconnects i would have quit literally the game just crashing because and i will call it duty i will say this as much as i want to shit on blizzard for having disconnects and killing

characters yeah this has been the smoothest new game launch i have ever seen in a long time there are still normally disconnects or whatever it really doesn't fucking matter on a hardcore character it's a little different there should be a little you know connection protection something but basically if your game disconnects you your character sits on the world just there wherever you are for like 10 seconds and and that you die it takes less than a second to die in a hardcore character versus that to your stuff so you have stuff like the butcher that can almost like one some of these bosses if you guys aren't playing it is fucking the it's really weird on the skill level on those bosses because there was that one boss we did that shot whatever those little the

poison piles yeah or the yeah that's the one you died a whole bunch on too oh yeah yeah the the ghosty son of a bitch like two seconds he just made you vulnerable every every hit yeah yeah yeah double your damage basically and you have no say in it you're just like ah this is fucking great i don't open debt because we were just resurrecting right other. It's like, oh, no. And then you run away. Oh, my God. That's the sketchy thing. When you get to, like, higher tier dungeons, you have four revives, three revives. Like, we're doing, like, world tier four,

so the hardest difficulty in the game. We're doing tier 21 through 28 dungeons. Yep, which those go really high. Fuck. Like, we have a level 77 who dies still carrying us. Like, I'm 60-something. We're there just coasting, basically. Like, I'll help out.

I'll freeze an enemy for them real quick so I can... I just CC shit. And, bro, the game is difficult. It's got something called dynamic scaling where no matter your level, if you're the highest level character, you could drop down to help lower level characters. And it will scale enemies to make them difficult. So everybody's fighting the same type of enemy, which is a little annoying.

But at the same time, it's nice. It's nice. Yeah. Because you can have somebody who's strong come back. There's pros and cons. Yeah. It's also nice. You can play with your boys.

So it doesn't matter what level they are. Dude, this is the first time I've... I wonder why we're talking about this. This is the first time in a long time where all of us are playing the same game. The same game and excited. Having fun. I'm like, what the fuck? No sweat.

Nobody's getting mad for hackers shooting us in the back. Oh, God. That's probably why I love it. I didn't think about that. No hackers. Or the hackers just don't affect us. I'm not fine with it.

Dupe all your gold. I don't give a shit. Have fun with it. I think it's pretty fucking nuts still that there are less than, you know, I mean, at this point there might be 300, but less than 300 people have made it to level 100. I assumed a thousand thing would have been filled first week. Like realistically, a couple people made it there at the very end of that first week.

But it was only a couple people. Those are some hardcore grinders. And then it is the environment. There's those like, bro, I couldn't. The amount of videos I watched of somebody like just tabbing out of their game real quick to watch another video of somebody. The amount of videos there are of a person entering a dungeon or killing everything and being like, all right, I'm safe. Oh, somebody sent me a link.

Let me watch this video of another person losing their hardcore character. Ah, funny video. They close the video. They're fucking dead. Wait, that happens? Oh, there's like eight of them. It's the funniest fucking shit.

They're like, I'm going to tab out to laugh at somebody else dying. They tab back in. They're dead. No, no way. Diablo. There's back in. They're dead. I love it. Diablo. There's no breaks. You can't take a break then. It is a breath of fresh air though. With the current games that are out right now,

Diablo is like, oh, thank God. Take a break from everything else. Everyone was playing. I mean, first person shooters, everyone. Now they're Tarkov boys. They're Tarky boys. Yeah, because Call of Duty sucks. I'm addicted to T tarkov now and i just stopped playing it finally i'm loving it thank you signing haney i appreciate you taking me there to

that trip you know you quit yeah that's because you got better in one week than me that i've been playing for two years and i was like a true gamer over there that's a real game fucking legend i was like okay well i'm not meant to play tarkov and i guess uh yeah zack's is the guy he's like i guess i'll just go back to insurgency and five days of Fluja. Is that the new one coming out? No, that one. Six days of Fluja, yeah. I like the challenge.

You teach me something that's challenging to me, I get addicted. You know what I'm saying? I need to pass. I need to beat you. That's what happens to me. And that's why I become a good player in any game that I play. I mean, I can play a lot of games and get good at it. It's just the addiction.

But after that, I'm like, I don't want to know more. I just don't care. My dad doesn't know how to put the internet password on his phone. He listens to this. Fuck you, dad. This motherfucker can play Call of Duty and Tarkov. Figure it out. He's like, have you not been keeping up on the meta?

I'm like, no. Okay. Okay. Well, first off, why are you got to watch the movements? I see you some YouTube videos on what the meta like no, okay? Okay? What well first off? Why are you gotta watch the movements? Have you seen you some YouTube videos on what the door and how to move in the game? I was like Zacks if you think I gift and I'm gonna watch it him in a video NERC merch telling me how to move through a map. I'm not going to but these are the pros. You gotta watch your man Okay here. I'll send you some more links

I'm with you on that like I don't give a, bro, what do I do? What can I just pause everything? That's what I do. I'm with you on that. Like, I don't give a fuck about that shit when it comes to Tarkov anymore. I still watch every fucking video. I like knowing about this stuff, but. I don't. It's my tism. I don't.

I sit and then I play with the camera. Because I got the new camera. I was just like sending. My tism, I'm like, don't give a fuck. And then I really give a fuck. And then Eli, the ADHD tism, he sits down down on his floor and I know he's fucking barefoot he's sitting in his underwear he sent me photos of a camera I'm like Eli are you sitting on the floor playing with a camera and I was like I don't care Z Zegs, what's the meta? Tell me what to do so I can be good at it.

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We're running the RALs when nobody else runs them. What else do we run? I do the Hitfire SMG builds that are a little lazier. Yes, right. Nobody runs our builds, so we make our own metas. Yeah. RAL fucking... The Chonky Boys?

That's the pig. That's the... Pig. The.338... Lapua Magnum... Lap Mag Machine Gun. Oh, the new one. The new SIG one. Yeah. Is it the spear? No. Well, it's a big spear. The 338 Lapua Magnum lat mag machine gun Yeah, no, it was a big big spear. It's the SIG whatever it's not a spear. It's some other bullshit the Spears. Yeah Yeah, three three eight belt fed which is fucking

That's all big boy Yeah Do that's all big boy. Yeah You know, you know why you lost out because you had to reload No, that's the other one we're in the route and that this is the dude that like you know Why you lost that battle man? It's because you see the ABS it takes too long. His ex is dead already Like you know why you're dead cuz you fuck What God I want takes too long. Zach's dead already. Like, do you know why you're dead? Because you fucking suck, Zach. Leave me the fuck alone. I'm going to run what God I want, and you're fucking dead, okay?

Then we had a rank match. He was just watching. This is ranked. I didn't tell you about this, but we were chasing a dude. Probably not the smartest thing to do in a rank match. There's one dude out in the field running from the gas. We're in a helicopter, so we're like, naturally we have to fly and try to kill this guy. Yeah, obviously. He cannot live.

So we're like, it's an insult to our existence. We're shooting. He's just hiding behind stuff and saying a lot very well. And we're trying to circle and then every time we almost kill him, the pilot would bank so our guns can't hit him. We're like, stop! Stop fucking aiming! Who was the pilot? Bear almost kill him the pilot like banks or guns can't hit him like that stop fucking me Was the pilot bear bear was the plan? I was in plane. I was okay good good good good

I was making sure we shame him bear Doesn't get to lead up to the joke. He's like, but what about... Zex, shut the fuck up. I got you. Batty, so rank match. We are all loaded. We're good.

Trying to kill the guy. Move around in the helicopter flying. We all die instantly. We're like, what the fuck just happened? Cut to Bears. He's like, the box just killed us. They drop containers for loadouts a random loadout container when we were just flying like this hit the helicopter ended our entire rank game never had that happen i was like huh we didn't die to any player any

player at all he's like no there's a box it was just a box that killed all our one dude was like, I'm set. Yeah, he's got a loot box plus four pinatas. Let's go. That's literally what I didn't even think about. He took all of our loot. Yeah. Oh, he would have been like, our box is dropping there. Like a dude's

right. It's raining man. He killed one of the guys. So that means he had money not to refi his boy so pissed and then past that haven't been playing a single other video game zelda was those good amazing how far did you get i didn't play it at all i watched a bunch of it it looked great well no like there's some games where i'm not gonna play it like i i love doing watch throughs of games like i never played last of us really absolutely loved i did a full like it was like watching a movie it is you know like some games like i'm cool with that i don't really i know i'm not gonna have the focus or time to be that game the new star

wars games uh jedi survivor and all those amazing games i don't give a fuck about playing i love star wars more than fucking anything. I sat down and watched it like a movie. Love doing that with some games. Fair enough. I don't know. Kind of like why people watch Twitch or YouTube. Right.

Makes sense. Yeah. That actually makes a lot of sense. It makes too much sense. Stop it. Oh, man. Because that's more. Zelda was the first game in a long time where landed from Skyworld, landed on ground, looked

and I was like, this is. I felt overwhelmed and i didn't pick it up i was like this is way too big of a map for me like diablo because it chunks it yeah into segments i'm like okay it's not overwhelming zelda was the first game it was like i looked up like this is a world i need to save and i'm like this is a very large world that i don't have time for. I'm going to be honest. I'm just logging out now. So Zelda's still... So a game that's coming out that I'm unbelievably excited for,

Starfield, which is basically Skyrim, Fallout in space. It's single player Star Citizen. And there are supposed to be over a thousand explorable planets, all this crazy shit. And I'm like, I am so excited for this. I'm going to sit down to play this game and I'm going to be over 1,000 explorable planets, all this crazy shit. I'm like, I am so excited for this. I'm going to sit down to play this game,

and I'm going to be like, this is too much, this is too much, this is too much. I already know. I'm going to be overwhelmed immediately. It happens. Surprisingly, it happens a lot with games now. Oh, yeah. I don't know. What games do you guys?

Did you guys watch any of the, what is it, Xbox Game Direct or the Summer Game Fest, where they dropped all the new announcements? No, no, I didn't. You didn't give a fuck. No, I do. What the fuck? I just went to-

You're watching Call of Duty meta videos. No, actually, I've been watching a lot of Tarkov videos now. Oh, good. That's the thing I want to master. I want to get the copy, and I want to one day, when they bring that little arena. Oh, yeah. I mean, arena's coming soon. Tarkov's Call of Duty version, basically.

Yeah. Yeah, let me know. I'll show you how to run a team out there. Fucking I will play that for the gimmick one time. That is all you'll get out of me. I know you're good. I watch you play, man. You're an amazing player, man.

I watch you and I'm like, okay, I see what he's doing. So. Good. Yeah, that's right, Chad. He's a great and amazing player. I like that he called the YouTube people chat, too. I do that all the time by accident. You do?

Yeah, it's on YouTube. You're like, hey, chat. I do. I'll be like, hey, chat. Oh, you're the comment people. You're worse. You're dirty. Ew.

Shower. I know you're not. Fuck you. What about you? Was it SRH? What fucking games are you looking for? Starfield looks pretty cool, but I'm a little worried that it doesn't have multiplayer. Like you said that you're alone. It's cool.

But like multiplayer because you can build bases and explore all these planets doing it alone. I don't know. Doesn't sound as fun as like doing it with your homies. Well, were you like a fallout guy or a Skyrim guy or Oblivion? Whatever. Did you? So it's that I I always wish those had co-op though. You were that lonely or you're that? I was always that lonely. My dad never came back. Always lonely.

I just wish my bros were here. Like follow up. Remember follow up four? They ended up base building at the end. Remember? Yep. But there was no point because you can't like defend it or attack other bases. Oh yeah.

I never thought. Oh my God. I forgot about what was the base building for? Just to. You, yeah. I never thought... Oh, my God. I forgot about... What was the base building for? You could... There was enemy incursions or waves of bots that would occasionally, while you were gone or something, they would... I never got that far.

It was shit. I don't know why companies put those little random things. It's just the longevity of the game. That's it. Bro, this is so much fun. Let's breed chocobos. Chocobos? Chocobos?

Chocobos. What's the fucking... What's Final Fantasy set? What is it? Not mana. Materia. No, what's the... The... Green stuff. Holy shit, why can I not remember? I don't know what it is.

Mako. Oh, Mako. Shut the fuck up. You're wrong. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey, an easy way to save while shopping on your iPhone or computer. Not what the bears eat. Thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past.

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if you don't already have honey you could be straight up missing out and by getting it you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting the podcast get paypal Honey for free at joinhoney.com slash unsub. That's joinhoney.com slash unsub. Just the right. Take your Asian and put it away. You're Mexican today. You don't even know this. Did you guys play Final Fantasy VII?

15 was the last one I played. I grew up playing Phant Fantasy Star and then Final Fantasy. Fantasy Star Online? We go back. So those used to be my games. Whoa! Fantasy Star was fucking amazing. Yes, it was.

Oh, my God. So I used to play those. Remember, I could be your dad. So, you know, I play Atari, right? Sorry, Father. But anyways, no, but I like it. Those are where my games growing up. So I found out Battlefield 2 back in 2005 when I got deployed.

I got hooked up on first-person shooters. But I want to play the N64 which is coming out with Final Fantasy. I can't wait. The demo has been literally dropped yesterday.

Wait, there's a demo for it? It's a PlayStation 5. I can't do it on PC. People are freaking out about how good the demo for Final Fantasy 16 is. Yeah. Realistically, it's...

That's going to be my stream. So I got to hook up the PlayStation 5 somehow to get it to work. Oh, you just run a. It's not. It's easy. Very easy. Yeah. Compared to a Switch.

But I'm excited for that one. Switch is easy. Only game. Do you have to have the stupid audio thingy? Same exact thing. It's an HDMI cable. HDMI includes audio. Why do you have to do the audio thing on the Switch?

For mine, it was like run the audio Switch. Because you're dumb. You did something wrong. Can I hit you up? Yeah. It's a singular cable. I still need a capture card, right? What is it called?

The hum. I get a hum. It's the same. We have that same from the stream thing. So you have that little... Yeah, hum box. Yeah, because three, five connectors are shit. But you don't need a three, five connector for your Switch.

Weird. You need to look at how mine's hooked up i will i'll fix it sorry go ahead i cut you off no you're good man yeah final fantasy we're talking about the game yeah which ones are you fucking playing right now dog the final fantasy 15 was uh the one that wasn't turn-based right it's the bro game you drove around with yeah the goddamn car i know we've bitched about this car but the bro game it was a fun you guys enjoyed it you enjoyed the car well no i enjoyed it all the way up until the ending yes when he just fell asleep or whatever something happened he's an old man

you're like what happened oh my god we talked about that like how did we get to here and just like the story just went off the rails so i we literally just talked about that. Final Fantasy VII is Mako, we found out, was Mako. Shut up. Stop it. It's Mako. It's Materia. It's Mako. I said Mako. I'm 100% with Mako. But that was the game that when they first pronounced it out, because all my friends were like,

oh, the Mako is how the fucking Earth is saved. It's the blah. And that game comes out and they're like, Mako energy. I'm like, am I... I'm'm gonna throw up what did i say it wrong all my friends are gone like yo what the fuck is this shit but 15 amazing until shit falls off the rails and then they did an expansion and a movie to fill inside block like a year later yeah which is good for me because that's when I played it, but it still was stupid. Yeah. You played it though originally when it came out.

So you just seen that. That was my first Final Fantasy experience though. Really? Yeah, so I never played the turn-based. Holy shit. So when I played that, that was my first experience. I'm like, oh, this game is dope. Everyone's like, this is not dope. This is not Final Fantasy. I'm just like, I like this. Take your fun experience and shut up your ass. I was like, I don't know what Final Fantasy is, this is not dope. This is not Final Fantasy. I'm just like, I like this. You take your fun experiences and shove it up your ass.

I was like, I don't know what Final Fantasy is, but I like this. And they're just like, shut up. This is not, I'm like, okay. You're wrong. Your fun is wrong. How dare you? I'll play 16 though.

Cause that's going back to the roots, right? Yeah. Okay. Wait, what? I don't even know how 60, dude, 15 had just sleep. The game went really hard. Wait, no, I think 16 is not turn-based again. No, it's going back to.

No, it's not turn-based. It's 15, how it's like the open world. Yeah. Just not road trip style. Not driving with the boys. Yeah, I don't remember. I didn't play since the 11th. Completely abandoned turn-based combat.

Wow. Completely gone. Yeah. It's all world. That's what I was saying. I don't think it is. Final Fantasy, the new 7, everything is the exact they got rid of well i mean did you see the the second part of seven is dropping i didn't see the trailer yet i know i know i'm excited for that one sir doesn't know

final fantasy seven is like the final fantasy it's one with cloud and sephiroth and eric fuck tifa um we ran a poll i was right no very wrong you ran a poll yours was wrong um your numbers are wrong your math is wrong do you like do you want a fucking boring church girl or fucking big she's not a boring church i would not like to answer that please she'll understand it's a video game she's not real yeah what never mind she's ask her let her know what she thinks kill sarge i heard you talking i saw the podcast it's not out yet but the new the new final fantasy 7 is just like the epitome of what a final fantasy game was what a

jrpg was back in the day and honestly even up till now still it's the standard and it they did a remake of it uh fuck how many years ago now four five four because I was at the old. And the singular game came on, what, four discs? Or three discs? A three disc thing? Three. Back on PlayStation 1. And now they're breaking up into a three or four part game. So, like, the intro to the game.

Well, Midgar was the first game, which is weird. Because Midgar was only a five hour segment. That's what they turned. That's what I was. Yeah. That's what I was talking about. They turned the first, like the introduction

to Final Fantasy VII on, you know, PlayStation 1, this first five-hour segment into an entire game. And that was the, the first part

of the Final Fantasy VII remake. And now they're about to drop, you know, four years later, whatever it is, the second half of the remake. They just left Midgard and I don't know where,

there is a lot, that's the one thing I don't know is how they are going to do because it was open at that point wasn't it it was it was kind of linear rails yeah uh because but you got to think you go to the chocobo farm then you're going through the cavern then you're going through i mean like there is so much that's without golden saucer that's without the ocean level, the weapons going across the sea, the boat. The game's fucking massive when you think about it. So they essentially turned Final Fantasy VII into a trilogy? Yeah. That's actually really cool if you think about it.

They hobbited it. They hobbited it. But I will say, if the Hobbit was good. Yes. If the Hobbit was amazing. And I think with that wonderful transition, we we got to talk about Lord of the Rings real quick. Hey, Eli.

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Never played them. Dex? I'm open. You're old enough to have been there in the beginning. You were there when the texts were written. You seen the tablets with the... The Moses. I know.

Black Lotus. Hour 9. I don't know. I never got into cards, man. Other than collecting baseball cards, that was it. I could see that. That's very Mexican of you. I collect baseball cars.

You played baseball too, didn't you? Who was your favorite player growing up? Roberto Clemente for everybody in Puerto Rico. I thought it was going to be Vladimir Guerrero. Fuck. I was all on Guerrero, dude. He's from Dominican Republic though, right? Vladimir Guerrero. Yeah, he, dude. Yeah, I know. But he's from Dominican Republic, though, right? Vladimir Guerrero.

Yeah, he's Dominican. I don't know. Roberto Clemente was our idol. Actually, he's everybody's idol to this day. Yep. I don't know who he is, but agreed. I do. I used to know baseball things.

What? Yeah. So back in the day, we're talking 2011. Back in the day? Oh, talking 2011. Back in the day? Oh, no, no. Sorry, 2000. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. My timeline's wrong because I have head drama.

Probably 2004 and 2003, there was a tabletop sports card dice game. It was a card and dice game where you would roll a dice. You would build your team out of cards, and those cards had number stats on them. And me and my buddy, Will, we would literally go to his basement where we had a baseball diamond set up on a table, and we would play this card game. It was a tabletop baseball game. And I remember I had a Vladimir Guerrero card, which was one of my best fucking hitters. I thought I knew Batty. He played with the Expos.

Yep, Expos a long time, because Vermont's minor league team was the Vermont Expos, which is why I was like, oh, fucking Vladimir Guerrero. So, yeah. That's what we're talking about. And after we played that, we would play Lord of the Rings, the miniature battle game. That was back when Games Workshop did a Lord of the Rings table talk. You played baseball in Lord of the Rings. Yeah.

Just cool down after swinging some home runs. Stealing some bases. I was the nerd who played baseball. What do you want from me? Yes, it's good. I loved baseball. I played baseball back then.

I just pretty sure it's like, well, get back at those jocks. I hit a home run. I wasn't for scoring points. I wasn't then, but. I bunt and steal. You could really do that. You would roll a dice, and the card would be like, oh, a one through nine, this happens.

A 20, this happens. Bro, I don't know. I hate people. That had to be fun. I've never seen that. It would have been fun. That was one of the, I totally forgot. I don't even remember what the name is.

I still thought it was a tops thing. It had to have been a tops thing. I don't know. If you don't remember what it's called, put it in the comments below. But that game was one of the most fun card games I've ever played in my life. Virgin Baseball 2003. I guess that'll be a piano show.

You play Diablo? Shut up, Eli. I'm not fucking hitting fake baseballs in my imagination. Eli, your D&D character just died. I'm fine with that. i'm fine with it junior don't you dare bring him in how dare you i forgot i literally that was a core memory unlocked right there. I was like, oh my god, Will, we used to... Holy fuck.

Oh my god. Well, MTG, going back to it. So, alright, alright. We've talked about this every now and then, every couple weeks we talk about this, because a new thing comes out. Magic the Gathering, the original trading card game, is doing a crossover with Lord of the Rings, where they're making Lord of the Rings themed magic cards. Whatever, not a big deal. In this thing, though, they have started doing things like serialized cards so there are only 300 it's like one out of 300 500 out of uh five out of 300 whatever serialized cards got a cool gold stamp on it they are making a one ring so like the ring from Lord of the Rings. And it is a one of one.

And they're just dropping it randomly into circulation. At first, there was $100,000 bounty to find this card, which is already one of the most expensive magic cards you're going to find. The only things that were in that price range were like the original 1993, 1994 alpha and beta before the game was really released cards. The bounty is now now over two million dollars and this is one company there are still multiple hundred thousand dollar bounties multiple five hundred thousand dollar bounties a couple million dollar bounties to find a singular

magic card that is just randomly in circulation wow there's two um two million fucking dollars for a piece of card just a little card like it's crazy when you see pokemon cards like the original pokemon cards charizard first edition it's graded it's you know these are like graded cards this is a card out of the pack for just no great this is this is actually now that you say it's probably one of the most expensive raw that's what they're calling for the great raw cards ever this will be the the most expensive raw card because i mean this is catching up to this surpassed every card i mean we're in like original rookie baseball card like you know football all that original card but they did those things where it's like i remember that lady on like the old roadside show that had her she had like the original power nine white socks no well the white socks oh yep yep like autographed

before there wasn't even a team and it was worth like a mil or 1.5 mil and it's like all the players this is an individual card that is worth $2 million without even being seen yet. Which is fucking ridiculous. Wow. So nobody knows how it looks either. So when you get it, you have to look at the name. No, well, it has a very specific look to it. And it's written in Elven.

Yeah. Elvish. Yeah. And then it says one. Or no, no. I think the one ring is written in uh the dark language yeah not yeah and it says one one one one one one one one one that's over 35 so have you seen the picture of it yet yeah they've released it because they might you know you got the car out put in the side what's the thing any any collector

would know no but a child could potentially get a fucking package it's in a singular pack it's not like you have to buy a case or a box you could buy a singular pack from a store and rip that card and just be like oh this is cool it's a serialized card and now you have a two million dollar piece of cardboard and it's only let's be real it's gonna go up right like we're in what's called pre-release format like the set dropped a couple days ago technically for purely so you can go to your local game store and get a pack you can't order it online or anything like that i will say two of my boxes showed up at my house they shipped them for pre-release oh so i have two boxes at home we're really. You're like,

you have no idea. I'm going to be honest. I know it's not in it right now. There's no way they're going to drop it for the initial put that cursing soft Ricky Bobby. Okay. I just I believe you million dollars. They get to the store. I want to get a couple singles. Yeah, dad.

I imagine it's borrowing lottery tickets. After this, we're going. We're going to or bring the camera straight up like all right dude i'm right now i'm just picturing it's the chances of a random opening this though because this it'd be like riding open riding would film it i would see it later right and be like oh i'm opening my cars oh we got this and he set him down in front of it because i know he could do it perfectly but oh i got all the cards okay just go like build like run cars into him right after i'm like buddy you recorded the whole thing are you destroying the car too i like that you have to tis and finger here we go it's broke like oh my god just upload like it is just a an insane thought that this thing this card is worth so much already like wizards like these collector boxes are normally 350 340 something like that like

aftermarket price normally they're a little over 300 i, I believe, for stores to buy. Right now they're selling for over $450 a box. And it only goes up if the card is not found. So a lot of these bounties have a stipulation. If you find it, you cannot share that you found it. Damn. Because they don't want people to know that it's found. Ah, gotcha. This is all third party.

Imagine a major trading card because they're coming they're you know card dealers that'll buy hundreds of these cases of you know six boxes per case hundreds of these cases to sell resell they get that one card they know it's there they can just keep raising the fucking price people are gonna keep buying it right oh yeah because the card's not found correct yeah do that be Dude, now that you say that, that is a hard one where you're like, okay, I can upload this video to the internet and guarantee millions of views. Or I could hold on to it and drive up the price for millions of dollars. But at that point, now you're talking a crazy investment. If you have that card, as,

you know, me and you, on Unsub here, we're like, oh, Unsub found the card. Do we just start buying boxes? We don't,

I don't know. Because like, sure. Well, that's the thing. It's like, we can cash in real quick. It's like playing the stock market. You're,

yeah. That's it. When it comes to magic cards, there's an entire third party aftermarket that's like the stock market, like with prices going up and down, fucking alpha investmentsy you're the man is it got a channel dedicated to this stuff that i'm addicted to because it the amount of like the amount of money these these old boxes and even some of the newer ones are worth is wild it makes no sense it's trading cards are

the original NFT. It's all a scam. That's, I mean, it's a piece of the cardboard that magically just turned into, like, Why is our paper money worth things? Because somebody says it is. With a gun? I don't need some treasury anymore. Back in the day when you had, like, gold coins, it made sense.

You're like, this is a material that can run out. When you, like gold coins it made sense you're like this is a material that can run out when you like you can print paper like 100 you could print a black lotus and be like what is it what is it now it's not the it's not the the federal man it's the it's uh what did it change jfk tried to bring the dollar back under the federal government and then i know the story but i, but I don't know. I can't remember the name. The National Reserve? The Federal Reserve?

Who mints our money? There's a whole thing. You were with the gold? I don't know if there's gold there or not. I know there's security everywhere. That's what I would say. There has to be something there. They got security cameras everywhere. There's not a lot goal, right? It has to be something there. They got security cameras. You're not allowed to go there.

It says, do not enter here. Is there parts where you cannot go? You can't go at all. And in the, in the little building where they got the gold. Oh, there's an actual building.

Yeah. It's outside. Before you go to the military base, you got landmines and stuff, don't they? And they had all this wire around it. I swear they have minefields. When I get back,

I take a picture. Actually, you can go, but I'll take a picture and I'll send it to you. Wait, there's a... Okay, hold on. This is not inside the base. It's outside the base? It's... Go inside the base and it's to the left. But you're inside the base and it's to the left. No. It's outside the base. You can see it, yeah, from the highway

before you go inside the base. Okay, yes, you can see it, but can you... Is it inside the base's gate can you see? Okay, yes, you can see it, but can you, is it inside the base's gate? Territory, yeah. Territory, but not where the gate is at. It's behind, inside the gate. Do you have to go through the gate, sex? You go through the gate.

Okay. No, but you can't get into that building. You can't get into that building without having to go through the gate. Wait. Yes, because it's like when you're coming out of the gate, I'm leaving the base,

it's to my right. Okay, but then there's a whole bunch of... And then there's mines and shit? I heard... I don't know. I watched a documentary way back when. They said they have... So the perimeter fence, they have minefields.

I could be wrong, so make a fact check me on that. I could be wrong, but that's what I heard. I don't know. I never heard. I mean, it's all the gold in the United States, so they're going to protect it. I'll make a little video and I'll send it to you. We're not allowed to take videos.

I'm going to have to do it very quiet because it says no drones, no video taking. That's if you wanted to know what his calls are sometimes. It's that. We're like, what? Is it inside or outside? He's like, no, it's inside. But if you can go on the outside of the gate and take a right, it's there.

So it's right there. My man's giving away national secrets. I'm subscribed. Oh, old mass aren't over here. Just leaking all those national secrets. I am subscribed. Oh, old mass aren't over here. Just leaking all those national secrets. That is open. The passcode is 432-18. Okay.

You walk in. 69-69. Ask for Fred. He'll let you in. Zach, you're terrible at this job. I got to get the community confused where's it at so they don't

find it yes by saying you can see it from the freeways we're really throwing it I'll take a

bit of sense you can see it from the highway yeah take a photo from the inside for us yeah all the cameras

the guard hours of how to get through we are to steal the Declaration of Independence! I choked on it. Which was the Declaration of Independence? National Treasure. Great movie.

Great movie. Thank you. Decorations. Decorations. It is before 2pm and I'm drinking vodka and White Claw. Shut the fuck up. We're having a good old time It's empty though What yours is already gone

I guess you need another one I'm almost there Oh side note Did any of you watch I'm halfway through the new Fast and Furious movie I'm good I checked out a long time ago man

I think I saw the one What was the one after Fast I'm a Fast and Furious movie. I'm good. I checked out a long time ago, man. I think I saw the one. What was the one after Fast and Furious? Or Tokyo Drift? Fast and Furious? Fast and... It might be Fast and Furious. No, it's Fast 4. Was it Fast 4?

I don't remember. Oh, was Fast 5 the one where they were... No, because Fast 5 was a thing. So I think Fast 4 was technically... it was just fast and furious we need to watch all of them no we don't know because this one gets so like i was watching the new one and it was the first time i'm like wait there's okay there's a giant bomb going down they're gonna explode the vatican remember when they used to race cars remember everyone's about racing cars dope cars now they're flying well they're in space dude that's the thing you can hard cut from the first

one where they're stealing tvs out of a fucking semi truck fighting fucking vcrs they were beating up truckers players just beating and beating up truckers. DVD players. Just beating up truckers, and now they're flying in space fighting governments. Saving planets. Super heroes. Do you know what this reminds me of? Do you remember, you guys remember obviously Tropic Thunder, one of the greatest movies of all time. Do you remember the fake character Ben Stiller played? He was an action movie star.

He was basically playing in Mission Impossible Tom Cruise. And at the end, it was like, we we gotta burn the world to save the world and he was going through all the crazy movie titles that he was a part of somebody left the fridge open oh yeah yeah what were they called what inferno oh fuck what were they called i don't fucking remember what a great movie though dude that was the bet do you know what we're talking about it's like inferno four It was like Inferno 4. Ice Age. That was it. Blaze Radikins or whatever his name is. Somebody left the fridge open. He has a baby. Baby strapped to his chest.

Because it was that booty sweat. Bust the nut bar and booty sweat. I will never forget bust the nut bar and booty sweat yeah i will never forget bust the nut bar and booty give me that booty sweat booty sweat is an entire rap song that was one of the things was uh ben stiller talking about that well it was robert downey jr because he did his character and they were so he was freaked out and but ben stiller's character uh simple jack is the only

reason he didn't get heat yep and that's so crazy he was like i was fucking terrified he's like but then for whatever reason everyone just shifted blame to scorcher not in front of scorcher scorcher four scorcher six i can watch Tropic Thunder every day forever. If there was one movie to bring to the desert island, you had one movie to watch forever, Tropic Thunder. I've got to watch it. It's been years. I've got to watch it again.

Toby McGuire. They're rubbing the beach. I've been a very bad boy. I've got a confession. Oh, my God. All the characters in that were so fucking. It was just like the perfect military movie of making fun of it. It was.

It really fucking was. They fear no death. Because it's like people are blooding on their own. Red dragon. We have simple Jack. You have simple Jack. We have fire dragon No smoke and mirrors

Come on, guys. Oh, my God. And then fucking Jack Black's addicted. How do you mean that? I'm sorry. It was like three seconds later. Your mother's a whore to a fucking killer. I didn't mean that.

This is a fucking joke. He's like, just give me the fucking drugs. I just need it. I need it so bad. That entire movie is just. Qu quotable quotable are there still quotable movies is that thing anymore i don't know man comedies have slowly been going well nothing's funny anymore so wait yeah wait is when's the last quotable movie that came out like actual quotable movie i can't think of one oh that actually recently so

like okay but here's here's the the argument to that we're no longer in our formative years our brains are on the decline we're changing we don't retain things like we used to i could quote every fucking movie that came out from 2001 to 2000 i'm gonna say 12 that period stepbrothers anything will ferrellrell, anything Ben Stiller, Meet the Parents. Ace Ventura. Ace Ventura. Oh, my God. Pet Detective.

The second one, When Nature Calls, the best one. But that entire genre, that raunchy comedy, that's... I don't think it's a thing anymore. Is it? I don't know. Are you 18 right now? what movies do you quote movies?

Pineapple Express dude you remember that shit? Pineapple Express one of my favorites Gone with the Wind what movies can you remember? Charlie Chaplin

was your favorite actor right? what was I think I remember John Wayne back in the days how was the Wizard of Oz in movie theaters?

seeing Connor come to the cinema. I grew up in the cleanest wood time. You know what I'm saying? The what? Cleanest wood. Cleanest wood. I was like, what's clean? Cleanest wood. Oh yeah, no, no. I know.

Tombstone later? Cleanest wood is what I heard. I thought he was talking about really clean clean. You're being racist right now. Stop it. To my own people. It's fine. I don't think that's how that works. I think it is.

Is it? Can you hate all white people? I don't think I'm supposed to. I'm going to get banned from Twitch tomorrow. It's our running joke. It's our Haney gets banned for playing with me for shit. I mean, bad.

It feels the same way. Bad is the one that will get canceled from this podcast for me. Saying Eli stuff. Slowly. Just like sinking down. No, I'm trying to cover the white tattoos, man.

That's my job. No, you cannot be the one ashamed to be on this podcast. That is my job. No comment. Daddy just comes in with a really dark tan. I was going to keep getting tattoos, man. He's like a Mexican now.

I'm like, aw. Sup, SA? He has a leaf blower on his back. Oh, wow. I'm almost broke. Jesus, wow. I'm almost broke. Jesus, Eli. Examine. Matt's like, cut it.

Cut it. We're going on a run. Everybody formation. I knew that was coming. It's like, where's people's line at in the comfortability of their own skin. You know what's so cool? In people. You got the shirt.

You can do the Cholo move. Oh, he looks like. Yeah, that's a top bun. I live in Mexico. I'm a quarter Mexican. So top this one here. I'm gonna do the rest. And you guys, you gotta, you just gotta go down.

I'm trying not to get banned from Twitch. All right. I have a confession. I have a confession. Right now you. I like. You look like Paul Bun. You're like. I have a confession. Back before I was on Twitch. All right. I have a confession. Right now you look like Paul. I have a confession.

Back before I was on Twitch, before I was on YouTube, before I did anything, I worked in digital advertising and website support and doing that shit. I had to wear button-ups and shit like that for the last bit of my job. I was a to-the-top-button guy. To-the-top? Or like the bottom open? With the ink coming out? Oh, yeah.

No, I didn't have any ink. I only had hand tattoos then. Just? No, no. They were all done. But it was to the top. I was that. Yeah.

You had to look so nerdy. Like very smart. I still had like flannel. Use your glasses and everything. Like a white shirt? Just like a plain white? No, not plain white shirt. You fucked. That your glasses and everything. Like a white shirt? Just like a plain white shirt. No, not plain white shirt. That's

all I vision. No, I fucking hate it. I hate fucking Batty with a white button-up shirt with his khaki pants. There was definitely khaki pants. I definitely had to wear some khaki pants. His fucking ink guard fucking pocket. I'm hating this image in my head.

Why you have to do me like that? Yeah, my tattoos were all like, yeah, but you had that stupid fucking white butt tattoo. Oh my god. There was no neck tattoos though. Yeah, and then I just pictured your beard. I did, yeah. I know, but was it buttoned all the way up?

I don't like this. This is my least version, my favorite version of baddies. Your least favorite version of me? Yeah. That's so hurtful. My favorite version of baddies. This is your least favorite version. Yeah. It's hurtful. Button up, baddie. Yeah.

Button up, baddie. That's his name. Button up, baddie. I fucking hate this. Button up, baddie.

White collar, baddie. What about your hair? What's your style? What's your style on your hair? Same thing I have right now. It wasn't as long, but yeah, it was still like a little man bun or some shit or backwards at.

So I was wearing a button up. I used to to my boss did not like me for a while because like i'm me still but i wanted a big promotion and i was good at my job so they gave me the big promotion but i had to dress up nice for it but i'd still be like walking into the office i had my backwards hat on you know red bull i'd be half asleep at my fucking desk. Because you slept three hours a night. Two hours a night. Yeah. Yeah.

It wasn't great. Oof. Yeah. He used to work. And I was like, why don't you try quitting one of these things? I did. And now. This is infinitely more better.

Because you. Now I drink at 2 p.m. Well, I did that then too. We're still out of if it was after 3 p.m. At my job. We could drink it was okay That's pretty cool job. We used to bring cakes. Yeah, it was it was like the Google of Vermont It was just like that web dev like the everything was pods. You can do whatever you wanted It was really fun. It was kind of a great job But whenever we had kegs because we bring bring kegs into the office they were always in front of my desk that became a problem temptation well okay got my desk at work 259 hold on it's

time to drink yeah oh no just wait for it no the worst part was for when i first started i worked the late shift which i showed about 11 and i worked till like eight or i did 10 to 7 so you weren't allowed to drink till three so if i'm showing at 11 i was drinking from three till fucking seven or eight everyone else was you know there at seven or eight a.m so it got pretty wild on the late shift i'm trying to remember like work days like those times have been so long so long for a corporate style job for me it's been about a minute 12 years 12 years since i did any kind of like and that was personal training which isn't very corporate i had one at uh the mogo when i was working for my first video

production company and now a video game company too that was still just like surreal but it's artsy flip-flops didn't change much on how i dress i was like i still go in and yeah but a uniform job was personal training so the last time i actually put on a uniform was like there we go got my red shirt on got my workout shorts on let's tell people what to do i can't even picture that now i would i would feel fucking awkward as shit going into a place like you even old do you own clothes like that at all do you have a suit i have a nice suit i got a nice suit yeah i got a bunch of ties i used to love wearing ties i don't i only had like two ties i probably have 30 ties i just do the like the single knot.

I just got the double Windsor. Green uniform. Fuck with the Trinity knot. I don't like ties. I don't like ties. I just use them because the Army makes me use them. Really? I love ties. Yeah, because they're a green uniform.

I look good in a fucking suit and a shirt button up all the way up. I do. I know it. You like ties though like going doubles love i love ties like a double windsor no i rock a trinity not almost every time this is a super thick boy no it's thinner than a double but it's like it looks like a try like it's three triangles yeah it's it looks really good they only do a single Because doubles You start getting like This fast

It's why everything's like Have you seen my quad tie It's like no It looks like ass No man The fuck Just the little tongue Because everything's used

I just like the excuse To dress up now Like because I don't I don't ever dress up I wear fucking shorts And sweatpants And a t-shirt 90%

I wear a tank top 90% of my life It's how I live So if I get a chance To dress up Like I love fancy shoes I own a bunch of like really crazy nice fancy shoes i just i like a fancy you saw you've seen my crazy shoes i don't know i like i like fancy shoes that's my my i'll wear like a gray suit match the tie out of the shoes i still wear flip-flops but my nice

flip-flops they're just instead of 20 flip-flops they're 50 flip- but my nice flip flops. They're not nice. They're just, instead of $20 flip flops, they're $50 flip flops. Nice flip flops. They have little bullets on each one. Combat flip flops. Use code come 20. It's not a real thing. It's not a yet. Yes.

Do you guys want to work something out? This is the only company I've tried to work with them. Multiple times I'm like, come on, bros. Fuck it. Throw me a goddamn line. I love your product. People tag you in my shit

because I wear chanclas all the goddamn time. I'm like, oh, god. Deadly weapons. All right. So I got to ask a question here. Go for it. Air Force, right? Yep.

Like active Air Force. I was active 10 years. Security forces. 10 years? Okay, okay. Then retired for seizures. Nice. And Force, right? Yep. Like active Air Force. I was active 10 years. Security forces. 10 years? Okay. Okay. Then retired for seizures.

Nice. And then became a streamer. What made you go like, yeah, I want to play video games for a living? What was that line for you? That's deep. That's a deep conversation. Don't say that. It is. It is.

No, it's like mental health and all that kind of stuff. Really? Yeah. You know, a lot of veterans out there struggle to find purpose when you get out, right? Yeah, 100%. You're just like, oh, man, I got no purpose. What do I do? Most veterans go through that phase of depression and trying to find purpose.

Substance abuse, all sorts of stuff. I went through my phase, and I was like, man, I really enjoy playing video games, and streamers are cool. Let me give it a shot. And found purpose. Here I am. And now, have you had a seizure on stream yet? What the fuck, Eli?

The guy that passes out if he laughs hard? Which one is it? Oh my god! We got a buddy. He plays Starkov. I don't want to name him. He's a moderator for a close friend of ours um you're awesome are i don't want to i don't want to but if he laughs too hard he will pass out interesting so myself and kings or or whoever we're getting with that day may attempt to be funny to an extreme there's clips and it's the greatest clip ever because he's like and it's just like a

I'm 90% sure the last time it happened, at least that I was there for, he was wearing a unicorn helmet, like a little child's bike helmet too, just to be safe in case he passed out. He didn't want to hit his head. It's dangerous. Right, yeah.

Wow, I've never heard that. No scissors. Yeah, don't do that. But you take meds now for it. I do, yeah. Yeah, see you good dog when did those just come up out of like later in life uh again very long conversation maybe we could talk about after stream but it's actually newer to veterans my type of seizure really yeah

so we can talk about it off stream i don't want it because it's a long story so you're like fuck you guys we don't have time for that on this podcast where we need to talk. Well, I mean, I could go into it, but I don't want to take over your podcast. Go into it. No, I want to hear this. You want to hear this? You are here because we want you to take over the podcast. So there's a seizure where they're

actually arguing whether or not it is a seizure because a seizure has to show up on your brainwaves when they're doing their things. Absolutely. So they label it as a psychogenic, non- epileptic episode. Oh, okay. No. Absolutely. So they label it as a psychogenic non-epileptic episode. Oh, okay. No, absolutely. You've heard of those?

I have just because I have my own brain fucking issues from a stroke, a minor stroke, whatever the fuck, an acute. Oh, my God. I can't remember what the fuck the inner ear thing is called for me. Equilibrium. It's an acute something that affects my equilibrium and horizontal nystagmus all this and that but i i have actually heard of this so and this was because of the non-epileptic part so sorry i didn't mean you're good you're so it's it's newer because

people coming back with tbi and other issues from combat stuff it's a newer type of seizure that's just happening and they're like we don't know how to treat this yeah so they're just treating with mental health they're trying medications and now they're finally starting to come out with specialists who have been researching it. So it's a very new thing that's happening to veterans now. So. Well, I mean, that wasn't a long story. Yeah, and they can manifest in so many different ways.

Like people have, goddammit. I know, I was like, this is gonna take a minute 30. And he's gonna be just like, sorry to take it over, guys. Do you need an intermission? Everyone go pee. I'll finish this story real quick. I'm glad you bring this up because I'm sure there are other people that are dealing with something like this.

Or like I know when I talk about my fucking brain thing because it's not a stroke. It's not a seizure. But I went blind. I couldn't walk or move. I was literally stuck in a bed for a week. And then I still have nonstop equilibrium problems where I fall over. People were like, holy shit,

that happened to me. That happened to my wife. I didn't know what the fuck was going on. I'm like, yeah, like if, if there is something to talk about like that, absolutely.

Let people know specifically within the veteran community. Cause we all know we're all big, dumb, stupid fucking men. And we won't go to the doctor unless we're bleeding out of our assholes. And even then we're like, what if we just plug it it's fine we can just be bleeding out unless something's happening to the pp is when we'll actually like go to the doctor yeah we're like i thought that burned a little when i need to go to the doctor

it's like now that you mentioned it did hurt a lot to just pee. Dude, I hate when you get that headspace too when you go on like, you went single. You know that time frame where you're just single having a fun time. Nah. And then it's like. Yeah, never. I was never single. I never had. I was never got banned on Tinder.

Never used any of those other. And then those moments. Wait, did that burn? I don't know. Did that burn? I need to go get checked. That might have burned. And then it's in your head.

And then you go get tested and you have like a few days to wait. Those are the worst four days of your life. Yeah. You wake up and you're like, why am I sweating wrong? I think I probably have AIDS. Let's be honest. This is definitely AIDS. Mental health is wild because

you can go through a situation whether, I'm not talking about just your junk, but like if you're sick in a way or something's wrong and you're waiting, bro, suddenly I can't sleep. I got night sweats. I'm like, fucking, I can't stop moving my legs. What's wrong with me? You get the

negative result. You're like, oh, I'm fine. And that's it. You read negative and everything stops. Your blood goes like, like you bleed back inside yourself. You're like, oh, I'm good. Never mind. Makes you wonder how many times in your life you had anxiety and you start feeling sick.

And you're like, maybe that was just anxiety. I was never sick at all. Dude, I have anxiety attacks. I get very, very bad anxiety attacks. Still to this day, because of this minor stroke thing. That's when it all really manifested and started for me. And I'm like, like looking back, you know, in 2015, 2016, when these first started happening, I'm like, what the fuck? Like, I didn't know what it was. I didn't ever want to talk about it.

And like now I'm like, oh, yeah, I'm having an anxiety attack. This is going to be bad for the next like fucking four hours and i know that but looking back on your mental health and being like oh i should have gotten i should have been to a doctor we got big first charge over here fucking that's the one thing i will say getting uh lower enlisted and how you guys combat that now or putting in something into place where mental health having the individuals talk about it or it's like hey something's wrong body wise even at that lower enlisted versus what we did which is not go to sick call not do a goddamn thing you're like nah because you will get fucked up bro but this is the thing let me talk about

that for a second please do you say new soldiers and stuff like that. I work as a liaison, right, for the Army National Guard at the 43rd Reception Battalion. So I was the NCUIC. I run the show right there for the National Guard. And I remember times has changed for the soldiers, man. Kids just want to go to a doctor every day to complain about something else to get out. Or to get a VA disability. They're very soft.

Oh, really? So it's so different now. So it's so different, yeah. So as a liaison, my job is to make it, I gotta keep them in the training pipe. They can't leave this place. They gotta graduate, you know. So I gotta mentor those kids. So when they go to reception, the first couple days they're there, just

doing a transition, they'll come in, I gotta call mom. I got some problems. I don't, no, you're not gonna call mom for that. You're already here. You say bye. No, but I got my cat or I got my dog. You know, I miss my family. They miss the animals. Think about it for a second.

So what happened is they break through. They start crying. And me, okay, I'm going to give you a break to call your mom and dad because you want to say no. But at the same time, okay, let me give you a break. Maybe that will fix the problem. But no, it makes it worse. Yeah. But now that you say excuse.

It's the positive feedback lewd for negative behaviors. Correct. worse yeah but now that you say excuse it's the positive feedback lewd for negative behaviors correct so what happened is you know they got this facebook forums or reddit you know forums out there yeah guess what they do how to get out of the military well say you got this this and that oh and then now so then now they leave my office right because they know they talk between each other and because they remember when their reception they like 50 they're all packed up sitting down next to each other and you can't move we you went through that went to that you know they all sit down reception they talk so now they go from there i gotta see the doctor mental health and they make up the craziest stories man i've seen the crazy shoelaces give them the crazy vest 24 hour watch i got it and it's sad we're using soldiers just at the reception only because they're not strong enough mentally to stay an extra 10 weeks.

Which is actually the hardest time in the Army is always going to be the first two weeks because when they break you. Literally the first two weeks. That's what I always say. It's like just make it past hell week or red week. The first three weeks, then your brain for what? It's just a shift. It is conditioning. It's like with dieting, exercise, anything.

Bro, you're just going to get yelled at. So don't give up. That's what I'm trying to say. Look, when I came into the military, man, I came because, and I'm just, it's a personal story. I was in a bad neighborhood, so I joined to do great things in my career, and I joined. And I'm glad I did. Even though I had a break of service, I'm glad I did because look where I'm at sitting

now. Yeah. Man, starting soon. You know, hopefully one day Sergeant Major for Sergeant. That's my goal. Well, not after this podcast ruins it, buddy. You're gone. What?

You grew up in a bad neighborhood? This is going to be edited. Where did we land Sarn? This is going to be edited. Yeah. Sarn, where did we land in Warzone? Where did we land in Warzone? He grew up in a bad neighborhood.

Oh, my God. Section 8 house. That's not really what we call our landing spot. Section 8. Section 8. We named it because it's just like the Boduck era. Oh, motherfucker. Okay, go on, Zex.

You know, my stories are too long, but I'm glad that we brought this up, and I'm glad he's sharing that kind of stuff because we as men, we got too much pride to say we're dealing with struggles. And the panic attack that you're saying, you may already meet my wife, Vanessa. She'll tell you. I was going to the hospital for two years and a half. Two years, almost and a half. Two and a half years.

Yeah, two and a half years. To the ER. To the ER. Two or three times a week. Yeah. I was having panic attacks. I would have anxiety disorder and stuff, man. And the doctors were going to never find a lot of things.

My face would fall numb, my leg. And I started having a lot of things. And it went through fame, just staying's gonna never find a lot of things on my face before none my leg and i saw him a lot of things anyway through fame just you know um staying positive and praying a lot of things it went away finally but it was one of those things that i got you brought up because a lot of you guys out there are struggling with a lot of things in your life and you don't want to let go somehow so you need to find a way to get with veterans like go to a fucking doctor too yeah and get checked who did we just have on that went to a doctor who was that oh my god son of a bitch they oh was it che no someone literally just oh matt oh it was matt yeah because we call it go to a doctor best episode in the pipeline guys the audio is on a memory card

and it's missing we're trying to find it not the memory card the the audio is there we have the memory card it is whenever matt is on oh my god you can go back that matt has been on three episodes and every single episode something goes wrong every fucking episode we'll have a good track record fucking funny episode we talk about going to the doctor the entire time like we literally do matt go matt went to a doctor we talk about it the whole fucking time so we plug it great and then i go home like you gotta be fucking okay we even make a joke on that episode as it's starting it's like oh matt's here something's gonna fuck up probably the audio memory card only time it's ever happened it wasn't my fault it did it yeah the memory card just whatever reason glitched out and then we had to pull it out put it back in we put in a new one actually we ran

out of a different memory card. Yeah. And we're like, what the fuck's going on? This is weird. Ugh. And that's what we're dealing with right now. But yeah. Don't you do that.

There you go, doctor. Go to a doctor. That's what we're trying to get to here. Go to a doctor. If you're not doing good, talk to your fucking buddies. That's all it comes down to. And if you're thinking about joining the fucking military, it's going to suck for the first three weeks.

After that, you can only do so many push-ups. What are you going not do another push-up oh no you're fine you're gonna yell that whatever just get yelled at smoke a rock what are you gonna say i'll say not to mention if you can't make it through boot camp how are you gonna survive in life yeah like dude it sets you up for life in such an amazing way dude i will say it like there is one thing i really like about the military and it's one of my biggest takeaways is those experiences how shitty or whatever you have to deal with it and you get really good at dealing with bullshit coming away from it like civilian world it's it's way easier on a lot of aspects because you're not five in the morning hey hurry up and wait yeah till fucking 9 a.m at a range in the cold with no cold weather gear and you're like it's raining and you're like almost dying

sleeping next to your buddies because it's fucking cold as shit and you're on a like you're doing a a motto or you're doing a surprise ambush for four hours and because there's training is part of it but i will say is what you're saying there needs to be a fine medium where you're getting soldiers know that they can go to the sick hall to report stuff if they're injured or they're feeling a certain way in their head not just like this is hard i want to fucking quit and going to that extreme you just find a nice medium so when you get out you take that medium and then you're helping your buddies your friends it's so funny that like that's the new mentality when i i have this one memory stuck just burned into me, through XTC at, I believe it was Fort Drum.

And I fucked my knee up real bad. And I was like, can't go to Sit Call. And I got smoked because I didn't want to go to Sit Call. Like, you're like, you're good to go. I'm good. Not that good. I'm like limping and shit. They're like, all right, you're fine.

Well, let's run. Then I'm like, oh, fuck. And I got smoked because I refused to go to sick. I went eventually, but it was like that was the mentality even for me. And the way I look at it, I went in not that long ago, but I guess not. They don't do that no more. No, you – It's different.

They can't. Now it's a different generation altogether. It's crazy in watching those generational gaps because we get like the Vietnam time with drill swords. I'm like, what the fuck? Cause like, uh, what's it?

Full metal jacket. That was him being like drill sword. What's his name? Um, uh, earlier rest in peace. Yeah. Like Jesus Christ.

That's the best part of that story was he's not an actor. He was a drill sergeant. They had a high. He. Wasn't he there? Wasn't he hired as a, to like help or to teach? And they're like, well, you want to just do this? Exactly.

So he had a. Mail Call was the greatest show of all time. Right. All those old shows. And who the director was. Oh, he's like one of the greatest directors all it's on did space odyssey did the shining uh kubrick so kubrick they built that entire thing is tism gonna take over all on miniature scales lit the miniature so they knew how to do the actuals and

did that brought in an actor to play the drill sergeant and her uh that guy shows up and they're like how would you talk and he just ran through how he talked and they're like now we don't need the actor anymore you will you just yell at people like you do and just do that and that cadence on everything he says that was the 70s and 80s yeah the gunny yeah the gunny yeah like earlier what the fuck that is crazy and being like where your drill sergeant can hit you like physically just punch you if when i was in that was a big change that was going on like even then this is 2010 until the end of 2009 beginning 2010 there was only one range where physical contact was okay and that was a grenade range you fucked up you got choke slammed like we watched was okay, and that was a grenade range. You fucked up. You got chokeslammed.

Like, we watched the guy do it. That was the only place where that was, like, acceptable. Wait, you got, like, a grenade story? Yeah, a dude fucking biffed a grenade, and it landed, like, a foot and a half in front of him in the sandbags. Dude literally got fucking chokeslammed. He tried to watch it. Everyone wants to watch a grenade blow up because they don't know. It was going to be an explosion.

It was shrapnel. People forget grenades don't make a fireball motherfucker it's just a and then metal it's not the fire that kills you it is the pieces of metal flying at 1800 feet per second shredding you kids don't understand that man no the kids so i i i'd seen i i mean there's one dude who biffed one and i specifically the amount of times i remember a motherfucker be like you know you'd fucking shot put it it's like you're supposed to throw them because they're strangely heavy they're no one that's ever held or thrown a grenade they are you think it's a baseball where you can wing that motherfucker like you like heavy shit 100 yards no problem 10 yards is a far throw with the grenade you're like so the

amount of times people would fucking huff one because you were supposed to have wires. You had to go over the wire and then a certain distance. And people would just biff it and drop it, you know, 10 yards in front of you. And then be like, I'm going to watch it. The girls started just grabbing by the fucking throat and slamming people. I guess seeing. Dude, I remember the fucking range now. I forgot.

The wire is because you were supposed to throw them over the wires. But you're walking up as that t or it's like that y intersection remember because it would go down with the wood barrier like the wood they had the railroad type barricades and shit the sandbags on top i forgot about that now that's a core memory unlock the throwing their grenades my buddy cam actually got a medal for uh he went to like fort stewart or whatever for basic training for jackson to train as a drill instructor at that range and girl or guy i forget couldn't throw it so it just went bunked in right back in the hole

he hit him out and then climbed on top of her it blew up in the hole everything was fine but he got a medal yeah got a Got a medal for that. For helping the kid. Yeah. Pull the kid up. Yeah. Because they were like, throw it. And it just went right back in the hole with it.

And you're like, fuck. Dude, that was. That's the only range you would not. I would not want to be a. You know, there's something about that. That we rehearse that kind of stuff with. With a dummy. It's not like you just go there.

And they're going to. Oh, this is what you're going to do. Yeah. And sadly, a lot of these kids. They don't follow instructions, man. They're not paying attention. No, they don't give a dummy. It's not like you just go there and they're going to, oh, this is what you're going to do. Yeah. And sadly, a lot of these kids, they don't follow instructions, man. They're not paying attention. No, they don't give a fuck. They can get you killed.

You know what I'm saying? That's one of the things. Drill sergeants do an amazing job with the soldiers out there these days because I've seen some of their training when I go to the combat engineer assigned to the same way. I can see what they do,

how they, and they trained probably before. But kids, they're thinking about home or they're thinking about home or they're thinking about something else so but anyways yeah no you just reminded me which is a crazy story the idea of it's what you're saying you have these kids that you're training you're essentially grenades guns whatever that is no different than getting like a random team and ranked call of duty

or whatever or if i can talk about how to fucking drop more around yeah because you're like yeah no one wants rando i remember that i was like no one wants a rando you never go in like let's do ranked with a fucking rando why because you're like my points matter you know what also matters your fucking life yeah i got rando steam that might throw a grenade at me. Like, I never thought about it like that. This is, and it's true. That's how crazy I get so into the game with the guys. Yeah. And I get, because it's like, for me, it's like real.

Like, I don't want to die, right? So, yo, Eli, what you doing over there by yourself, man? Eli! I'm going to give him a second. I'm going to put him right there. No, I see a guy over here. Eli, come to me, bro. And I get frustrated.

But because I see that, I don't want him to me bro we done and i get frustrated but because i see that i don't want him to get killed you know what i'm saying end up because i'll take it seriously i mean i'd let him die i'll take it serious zex is also he does it bothers me actually zex is also we're in a team of three and he's by himself he's like why'd you guys run away from me like bitch we there's 33 wrong. Guess which fucking one it is. We all landed here. You guys didn't mark it. Funny, me and Jaime are in the exact same goddamn spot, Zex.

Where are you? I didn't sit on my mat. When I say that excuse, it don't fucking work. Okay, well, I don't know what you're talking about. Okay, everyone get on me. Okay, why we lost that, though, is you didn't stay on me the entire fucking time. I'm like, okay, Tony Montana, calm the fuck down. We're just playing the game.

This is an enjoyable experience. There was one that you got me lately. I can't remember when we were having a fight. And you told me, oh, yeah, we were on top of the pipe. And we're in that big mountain. And I said, we're in the pipe. And you guys jumped down. So we got a team super close. And I was telling tell them focus on the team that's closed don't worry

about the guys that are out there oh yeah so what happened was that there's three guys out here and i see two guys landing in some loadouts on the top of the mountain so i'm like i'm paying attention to them just in case they don't shoot us down because they can come from the high high ground winds right and the next thing he likes shooting we fighting zags we fighting over here help us out zags are fighting and i'm like you got this and i'm looking at the team out there they're not shooting at us yet and i'm looking there's inside shooting so i start fighting those guys but i would have get mad at eli if that would happen the other way yeah i called him out for it i was like fucking stop shooting those people you better fight that here but i had confidence in my

teammate they they won the battle that was your your first mistake. And then we, you know what happened after that? We cleared those two guys, the two teams. We go forward and we get killed by a drone. A drone hits Eli, drives him. The guy goes and shoots

some handy and kills me too. All three of us. One guy. You're on the wall. That's how easy it was. That's why I don't play Call of Duty.

I couldn't blame, I couldn't blame, I'm in the med use. Oh, you played Tarkov. I couldn't blame nobody else. Or you died in your death. Hopefully. I couldn't blame nobody after that one. And every death cam, you're like, is that King? I don't know. Flip a coin.

He is. I guess something to the point that I blame people too much for what happened. I'm honest. I'm honest. I'm honest. You know what I'm saying? But it's more of the passion. Because I think that I know what he likes.

For some reason, I think that he's thinking what I'm thinking. You know, it's kind of hard passion because I think that I know what you list for some reason I think that he's thinking what I'm thinking, you know, it's kind of hard to do that someplace, right? Like when you play target with your buddies, you know, do you know what their mindset is what they're gonna be doing? So, you know worry about that. So I got real I'm real picky about teammates entire cop Yes, because if I don't know their gameplay call out, so you gotta have call people. It's not saying shit. They're just running around Rock I'm like, what the fuck is that? It's not saying shit. They're just running around Not like that, but yes, I know how to make bird calls another map Tarkov I kill a lot people teammates, you know Kill me and then wipe the map though. That's the thing. It's like I'll be in a firefight He'll run murder me and then murder the rest of the map. I'm like shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick.

I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick.

I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick.

I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna shoot him down quick. I'm gonna got time for that. First I was excited. Yeah, I lose I say any. No, I'm just gonna shoot him down quick. You know, dude, without that was the crazy thing watching Tarkov for the first time if you guys have never played is the only game where you don't know your teammates there is no indicator.

There's no pointy thing. No, no map. It is comms where you are. when you're in like you you accidentally shoot your buddies a lot if you separate in the slightest shit's gonna happen a lot of the sorry kings i watch you guys i i but who's by the rock not me but grenade launcher it was me i should have answered quicker yeah wrong rock all right yeah and then the calls everyone has specific calls for if you're your groups yeah but when we play with random groups even call of duty you're oh gv i'm gonna tell you put a clip right here i'm gonna we're gonna share a king's clip

and then put the clip where i shoot baddie in the head in Tarkov because I thought I unloaded my gun. Eli was learning Tarkov and he didn't realize when you pull the mag out of your gun that they're still around in the chamber. Daisy too. I've done that a couple times with Daisy. It happens to me too, Josh, when I stop playing the game. So Eli's like, Batty, because I'm walking around with an empty gun just clicking

being an idiot. And he was like, well, you do that too. He just learned the command to pull the mag out of his gun. He's like, hey, Batty, bang! And And he was like, well, you do that too. Look, he just learned the command to pull the mag out of his gun. He's like, Hey, Batty pangs. And I'm just like, Hey Eli, you want to grab one of the guns off your wall behind you real quick. Do me a favor.

Pull the mag out of it. Is that gun loaded still? Nice. My stream face is like, I'll get you here. I'll get you here. I'll get you here. I killed Batty.

I killed Batty. I shot him you here. I'll get you here. I killed Bat. I killed Bat. Oh, my God. I shot him in the face. He's dead now. Son of a bitch. That's what makes that game so much fun, though. You have a completely different experience. Yeah, murdering your teammates.

It's so much fun. Heaven. I mean, terrible. To be honest, though, there's nothing else like Tarkov, though. When you win that fight, though, and that high you get, there's nothing else like it. That risk, you're gambling with an FPS. It is unbelievable.

It is extremely. If you ever consider bringing somebody, you know what I'm saying? Hit me up. I'll play one game or two. All right. All right. If I manage to ever lock back into Tarkov. When's the last time you played?

I have only played like three or four times in the last like four months. Yeah, I saw you playing before I left for school. I remember seeing you play a couple games. I just come back. I think I played two days in a row and I ran into multiple hackers each day and I was like, how bad is it right now?

Not as bad as it was like three months ago, four months ago, but it is still the worst it's ever been. But the company was selling the cheats because I saw a video in real area. I don't remember the wiggle. Yeah. Oh, yeah. But there was a call the abs or something.

That was a cheap company. I guess those people got arrested. The whole thing was that they got in China or something like that. How was it? The whole story behind that? No, no, no. Not really an offshoot. Like they confiscated server. It's still just not really. An offshoot, like, they confiscated the server.

It's still just as bad. It's still as bad. Yeah, it's internet cheats. It's all online at this point. But you know what's bad? The scouts, man. The bots aren't bad. Those things.

Those things are insane, man. I mean, how many rounds you hit the scout with no helmet in the head and they just keep coming at you? Unfortunately, the worst part about Tarkov is not the cheaters or knowing who your teammates are. It is the fact that the game desyncs so bad because the servers and the network is so bad with that game. Where what you see happening could be up to six seconds difference or nine seconds difference than what your teammate or people like yours. Not your teammates. People you're playing against see.

So I can see you aim point and fire and then an enemy will see you step out and then just stand there right then he'll shoot you in the face and then you're like but on my screen i aimed at this guy i shot him and he fired but on your game but on his end you never even fired you never even leaned you didn't aim nothing it's it's pretty bad. Sometimes it's amazing. But go ahead. Imagine that happened in Call of Duty. Yeah. It sometimes feels like in Tarkov, since like you're going up, like two geared people

just spraying each other down with the network code and everything, it's like just flipping a coin. Oh, it is 100%. With the servers, there's like, ah, and this guy won. At a certain point, that's exactly what it is. I have more clips than I could even count at this point of me shooting a guy in the face three or four times than just falling over. I'm like, what?

And then I get a clip in return of another streamer or I get somebody who has their game capture of them being like, what do you mean? You never fired your gun. I'm like, interesting. Do the scavs still have it where I remember when we played, it was if you engaged a scav and didn't kill them,

it's like get away from them because they turn into their aim box sometimes I mean no not as bad as it used to be they've changed the AI at the last like three years The shotgun ones are the worst because there's a shotgun they're like, oh well aim at your chest and then that one Pellet will catch you the away. I just got what? One slug? I mean, every now and then. It's not anywhere near the RoboCop days of like two years ago, but it's still alive. Brother alive, creep.

So it used to be a thing where if you aimed at them, they would know. Like you would zoom in with a scope aiming at a shotgun scav, you know, 45, 50 meters away. And all of a sudden you'd be like, snap, bang, bang, bang. You're like, I'm in a window! Then you die. The sniper scabs would always be, they'd truck you. So they're still just like that. They've just kind of spread the hitbox on them, so you're not getting

hit every time. They're still shooting at you, though. You can juke them pretty good. If you're running and moving, you can juke them pretty good. Back in the day, that was... Some of those scabs were just like, you know what, Greg, you can shoot pretty good. Back in the day, that was... Some of those staves were just like... You know what, Greg? They shoot you through bushes, out of line of sight. Go ahead, Zex.

They'll shoot you through walls and everything. Oh, yeah. I'm behind the hill, and I know the sniper's shooting at me. And like, pow! He's just shooting at me. He's trying to kill me through the wall. I'm like, what is going on here? That's the AI, though.

I think I won't exit. No, but it's a fun game. I'm glad I got into it. Maybe you've been playing for so many years. I've literally been playing full-time for five years. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. So I'm from the alpha. I got the alpha game.

I bought it. And the AI's were so crazy. I don't want to play this game. This game is weird. A lot of people quit. And I quit immediately. And then I came back because of Sean Hannity. And now it's like the challenge that it brings, I love it. Oh, yeah. I love that challenge. I came back because I'm handy and now it's like the challenge that brings I love it

Oh, yeah, I love that challenge. I want I want to be tested. No game like I mean, I'm 48 years old Right, but I want to be tested and if I can beat it, that's my height You know say hey best over 35 year old played in the world guarantee hands down You know, I'm taking down we're playing around the company the one and only Zexo G. Love it. Love it. Love it. Love it. With that, we're going to go. Thank you for watching

this great podcast. As always, Eli, Double Tap, myself, Batty Streams. We have Zarn Heine here and of course,

Zexo G, guys. Thank you so much. Where can everybody find you right now? Where are your socials? Twitch. Just find me on Twitch. What's your name?

Sergeant Heine on Twitch. Is there an underscore? Nope, just Sergeant Heine on Twitch. Perfect. Love it. All socials? Twitch. Just find me on Twitch. What's your name? Sergeant Heine on Twitch. Is there an underscore? Nope, just Sergeant Heine on Twitch. Perfect. Spell it. All socials, ZexoG. That's 035, okay? Oh, my God.

Sorry, how do you spell yours? Common spelling, Sergeant. Last name, H-E-I-N-E on Twitch. Okay, yeah. Biggest gun wall on Twitch. Okay. And ZexoG. Here we go.

Z? Z, Zulu Echo X-Ray Sierra Okay. And Zex. There we go. Z, Zunueco X-Ray, Sierra, Oscar, Golf. Zex OG. Jesus Christ. We'll see you guys on the after show. Thank you very much. See you next time. Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer. From roulette to blackjack, watch as a dealer hosts your table game

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