Unsubscribe Podcast - 112 - FINDING THE ONE RING ft. Shayne Smith

Episode Date: June 30, 2023

One Podcast to rule them all, One Podcast to find them, One Podcast to bring them all and in the darkness bind them. OUR RESIDENT TOLKIEN NERD IS BACK! GO CHECK OUT @shaynesmith26   ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!! Sheath Underwear Go to https://www.sheathunderwear.com/ and use promo code UNSUBSCRIBE for 20% off your order. Manscaped Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code UNSUB at https://www.manscaped.com/ 1stPhorm GO BUY 1st PHORM https://www.1stphorm.com/unsubscribe ExpresssVPN Visit our exclusive link https://www.ExpressVPN.com/unsub and you can get an extra 3 months FREE on a one-year package. ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW:  https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/  CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie-            @BaddieStreams   https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -Eli_Doubletap-             @EliDoubletap   https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by GVAN https://www.twitch.tv/gvan11b https://www.instagram.com/gvan11b/ https://twitter.com/GVAN_CC Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Dude, oh my god. I got you, bro. Yeah, baby. I'm gonna stop before I get out of my Diet Coke. Samsung Vision AI televisions transform screens into intelligent solutions. From reviving old memories with AI upscaling, to seamless hands-free control with universal gestures. The next vision in television is here.

Learn more about Samsung Vision AI televisions at Samsung.com Dude, fuck yeah. I don't fuck my liver. I've been having migraines every day for a week. Citrus what? Citrus youzu smash. It'll youzu crazy. Why did you say that like my hero?

Why did you say smash like you were fucking Smash United States smash. Am I in focus though? I moved Eli. Why do you say smash like you were fucking- Smash. United States. Smash. Am I in focus, though? I moved, Eli. I fucked everything up. I promise. I 100% I fucked some shit up.

No, dude. You look so in focus. It's crazy how I'm focused. I pull focus fucking. On the first time. Okay. That's what I do. Everything.

Are we actually? Can we? Are we ready? Yes. I'm going to double fuck it. It's going to be a shill for a minute. I was thinking it just cuts.

I'm like, Patty, I'm not a shill. It's like a first form head to toe hat. Yeah, Adidas. Are you double fucking? Oh! That was powerful. That was terrible. damn you went double flavor it's racially ambiguous and baddie that guy's fucking ridiculous we don't know best not to

ask yourself why but my friend you've you've arrived. Welcome to unsubscribe. Lemonade, citrus, and like cherry lime. I'm mental focused and drunk. Hold on. Wait a minute. Wait, real quick. War in Russia. I already clapped.

There's war. No, I was clapping about the war, buddy. I was. Now I was clapping about the war, Batty. I was excited. You're clapping about the war! It's a double war. It's a double war. Maybe almost a triple war. Yeah, possibly, honestly.

Belarus are a little unhappy right now. Who knows what could happen anywhere, dude. Welcome to the Instagram podcast. Eli, Batty. Okay, okay. Welcome to the Instagram podcast, Eli Batty. Okay, okay. Welcome to the Instagram podcast. As always, we have Eli Double Tap, myself, Batty Streams, and our beautiful, powerful, strong, great tattoos. Love this man, Shane Smith. Hey, everyone.

It's me. I'm so stoked to be back. I'm so excited. We're in a new place from the last time. And it's fucking crazy in here, dude. It's a little less sketchy. Yeah, the last place was your home, right? It was sketchy.

It's sketchy. Yeah, right behind the wall where we filmed full of black mold. No way floor collapse after I moved out. Literally, the people were moving into the house and the whole floor collapsed because of the mold and water damage. Dude, that's crazy. I was wondering why you kept talking about the hat man after the makes more sense.

He keeps visiting man. I was wondering why you kept talking about the hat man after the podcast. That makes more sense now. He keeps visiting, man. I forgot you were at the old house. Not the old old. No, the mold house. The mold house. Yeah, you were at the mold house. Damn, man.

Upgraded finally. First form gave us 15 seconds to do that. First form. Opti- Fifty! So good to be here, man. I love you saying sketchy. Oh, yeah. I know it, dude. If I think it's sketchy, that's not great. That's real bad. You called Maddie's old moldy house sketchy. It was. I'm hurt, but I get it. Yeah, dude.

It was off like a dirt road. I feel like it had a very Texas chainsaw vibe. Oh, it did. Yeah, with the double gates, the driveway, it had the warehouse in the back. Maybe a house of a thousand corpses. Maybe that's more your vibe. No, the Texas chains gates, the driveway, had the warehouse in the back. Yeah. Maybe a house of a thousand corpses. Maybe that's more your vibe. No, the Texas Chainsaw Massacre is pretty spot on.

I think wearing a guy's face is sick, dude. I'd like to do that before I die. Right? Just check it off the old bucket list. Just throw it on. You think you would have to, I think I'd have to wear like a big boy's face because I'm pretty tall. So he'd have to be like, we boy's face because I'm pretty tall, so he'd have to be like we're talking like two hundred eighty. Maybe you know

I like the way you're looking at it right now. I like to look at red hair. You guys don't be, but yeah, yeah, dude, maybe like a beard. Yeah, dude, like something like some like type of gentleman from Texas. Maybe from Vermont. I just love it. I'm from Vermont. I just live in, I'm from Vermont. New York. We're friends. Just skin wearing.

I just picture a fucking skin wearing. Like a psychopath. Oh yeah. Dude, I'm going to draw. When he's cutting faces off though, does he like certain races? He's like, I can't do that. That's bad. Like he's afraid of getting killed. You can't do that.

You can't do that. He's a murderer. he's a woke murderer he doesn't want to get canceled so he won't do real black face oh dude well if you cut off a chinese guy's face and put it on yours you can't see very good so you're like fuck dude where am i at hd now yeah HD now. Yeah. Are you just cutting off the face? Are you doing like the like the like the. No, I'm not going to bring your helmet. I'm going slipknot style.

You're like six, six hooks. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's about one, two, three, maybe seven for here. Yeah, dude. You got to do two up top to bottom. I think so. That's about how I do it. How long do you think before it gets stinky?

I think here's the thing. You got to cure that meat, you know? But if you cure it, you're losing. You're losing it. Well, I mean, you got to keep it moist. How do you do that? Maybe, is that what formaldehyde does? Have you ever touched a dead person in an open casket?

Yeah. They feel stiff. You touched the dead guy at the casket? Yeah, they're like not spongy. They're like very like... Would you squeeze some motherfucker's cheek? Like, sorry, dad. I miss you.

It wasn't... Well, I didn't know him. I was just... I just snuck into a room and there's a dead person. So I was like, I'm going to get in there. I'm going to get in there. Did you wedding crash a funeral? No, I was...

What? What did you just... What? The story's actually more insane than you want it to be so i went to a person's funeral at a funeral home and i met a woman there and we hit it off and we decided to sneak away and did you get a blowjob at a funeral no i had sex at a funeral. I had penetrative raw sex at a funeral in so we snuck up into a room and then and then there was a person in that room.

They were dead though. It's cool. And then afterwards later we finished and we went back to the thing and then before we left, I like grab one of my friends and I was like, hey, there was like an unattended dead person. You want to like go check it out? You know, it's that thing where you're a kid. You're like, do you want to see a dead body? Like you

keywords there when you were a kid? Yeah, yeah, not. I just sorry. I maintain my childlike sense of wonder. You guys that I can go check out a dead body and it's awesome. I get it. I do just next. She was so hot, dude. Oh, if you

have a girl, if you meet a girl and it one day she's like i want it and she's willing to do it in a room oh the lady is hot okay she was fucking hot though and i was like oh, no. You're an animal, Eli. Well, I'm not. Yes, I'm the animal. Yeah, I'm the animal. This story started with me. Yeah, dude.

So anyway, it was a live woman who I met at the funeral. The dead person was separate from all the other stuff. Anyway, dead people are like stiff. They're like rock solid, dude. Just like stiff. They're like rocks all it dude, different, just like me when I was fucking the lady. The meldehyde that was what I was young at the time to that's when you have like a twenty year old boner. You could break into a car with it. You got a lot

your dick to the window. Exactly, dude. Damn, dude. Those were the days. Now it's like a melting. Your freezer's just not quite working enough. And the ice cream's good, but you're like, it could be more frozen.

You're happy because the spoon goes. Yeah, but you're also like, come on, man. You're happy. Like like it's good enough yeah it weren't it could have been better yeah like no one's complaining but i feel like they know you know they know it could be better i mean even if they don't know you know listen you know i have i have a friend He has infinite blue shoes. Because he's a bodybuilder. He's got lines of his. Because he's a bodybuilder, dude. And you take it because apparently, well, he says if you take dick pills, we'll just call it dick pills. Dick pills are great.

If you take dick pills, it makes you less sore and increase your vascular-ness. I don't know the science. It's actually good. So it's a blood thinner. It actually helps nitric oxide, the opening of your uh like to the powers you know if you're gonna start talking about nitrous oxide and the blood capillaries and how it flows into it so it's a blood thinner everyone knows he lies a scientist so just like my son yeah dude ah scientists that's what we're calling them now.

Anyway, cheers to dick pills. They cure everything and do all of it. And it's amazing. God bless them. There we go. Oh, my God. God bless America. Sheesh.

Right into fucking around dead people. And now war. I mean, it's a great transition. It is. Speaking of fucking around dead people. So Russia invaded Russia. So wait so wait yeah what the fuck okay so you don't know what's really you haven't been i was up all night with a migraine so i was just reading non-stop twitter yeah yeah scrolling um i do the memes okay i will give a brief backstory

on what i seen i woke up at 7 or 8 a.m that's like phone and then it was like russia blah and it was two names it was like Putin versus another guy's name and it's like it's Russian it's incredibly Russian oh they're just fighting and I didn't look into it other than I thought a new country

was maybe fighting I didn't I had no idea what's going on so in the war in Ukraine right now I think we can say YouTube's not gonna be mad we're talking 10 minutes in the war in Ukraine right now, I think we can say this. YouTube's not going to be mad. We're talking 10 minutes in. The war in Ukraine right now is basically Ukraine versus the Russian Ministry of Defense and also the private military contracting group, PMC group, Tarkov, what up? The Wagner group, I predict. Yeah, Wagner group.

Their version of Black Rock or any number of other things. That's how Modern War works. But incredibly big. Massive. Warlord big. Yes. Everyone who has ever read history knows you don't let your mercenary group get that big. No.

Metal Gear Solid 5. Rome. Metal Gear Solid. All of it. All the video games. Spain. Who else has had that happen? I mean, a bunch of people like

as they're fighting in ukraine this military group they also have another section over in africa like they have a lot of fucking dudes this isn't like your private security you see over here no this is yeah yeah yeah they have black water they also hire people from all nationalities and it's not just russians yeah i think they want you to speak Russian. Yeah. Wait, they have tanks? Okay, yeah. No, they have tanks. Yeah, the Russian Ministry of Defense sells them advanced military equipment. So I don't think they have to coordinate with Russian air and naval services.

Yes. But they have a full, they have armored brigades. They have. I don't know. Whatever their version of strikers are. I don't know. Yeah, yeah. They're like eight wheels.

BMPs or whatever. They have tank hunter battalion. Like, they have all don't know whatever their version of strikers are i don't know yeah yeah bms or whatever they have tank hunter battalion like they have all of it they have divisions that can operate in modern war very successful obviously you know i just love how you're very knowledgeable i'm very interested well because it's so hard to know because everyone's lying about everything all the time lying dude yeah dude so, dude. Yeah, dude. So I can't. I truly am just like, this is the first war since World War I where everyone's losing. It's like, whoa, no one's. Everything bad is happening. It's terrible.

We should not be doing. It's terrifying. No one should be doing this. No, it's terrifying right now. So the leader and the sub leader or whatever it is of this group has been speaking out against Putin because of the lack of support they've had in this war in Ukraine from Russia, even though they're on Russia's side. And even though they are, they won their last major battle, which is like, so I don't know. It just looks like warlord stuff. Yeah, it really looks like a lot of war crime going on.

Yeah. Just to be very clear, they're very bad people. There is no group group from prison. Though I guess technically we did that in Vietnam. Well, I mean, so did the Russian Ministry of Defense too. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Everybody's bad again.

Everyone's bad again. We're bad. They're executing war. Each other, everything. No, war prisoners with sledgehammers. It's real bad. They're bad. Don't do that.

But the leader of this group hates putin because he's not giving a lot of support and so he was like all right and then recently uh as of yesterday uh the russian military accidentally not so accidentally yeah yeah yeah call of duty modern warfare to drop an airstrike in their camp like killed a bunch of them yeah yeah and the wagon group after multiple being out like the only motherfucker who's like on russia that's gonna be like hey fuck you putin like multiple times he's like all right fuck it took their dudes and they're they took uh the southern command headquarters yeah they surrounded it there's videos of like a tank pointing out like dude there's literally like people just like chilling like having a picnic on a date like filming with their phones and there's probably military

over a million people their group just rolled in took the ministry of defense area like yeah southern command and now they've moved up another you know six hours they're about what seven hours away from moscow right now in another city yeah yeah oh this is a full-on war war. This is a full, I mean, I don't think they've killed anyone yet that we know of. No, there is. As of this morning, there was fighting in one city.

It's the second city they took, not the one that starts with an R, starts with a V. I can't think of all the names because I'm not. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And Russia was using helicopters

against them in airstrikes and they shot down a Russian helicopter. Oh, dude, that's crazy. Yeah. Yeah. There's another video of a second helicopter shooting off flares, dodging a missile over the city. Yeah, bro. It's wild. It does sound like Putin was like, oh, I actually let the warlord become a warlord.

I should kill him. Then he tried to airstrike the warlord, and the warlord was like, I was at Starbucks when you did that, you motherfucker. I know, yeah. And now it's, you son of a bitch. And then now he's like, well, I'm going to do war. I'm going to do war against you

because I've been speaking out against you. And now it's like this whole thing. With Ukraine. Holy shit. So two of the multiple Russian National Guard units on the way in have just been like ah we're on the warlord side now too yeah dude it's fucking like right now they are barricading the entire road from this second city they took to moscow to uh stop it they have the

russian social forces uh more national guard units all just being like i guess we're at war now the soldiers have to give up because even fighting ukraine russia's a lot of soldiers were like yo fuck this like yeah yeah yeah now everything was going wrong and now you have another fighting force on the opposite side i guarantee they're just like what the fuck in russia yeah in russia like if you've ever read about world war one this is exactly what happened yeah they were fighting on the front the things were going weird they could have been winning but they weren't because you know whatever whatever rich people were doing bad things one assassination one assassin yeah and then world war one group and then the civil war so we'll see could be a full-blown civil war in russia but yeah so it's

kind of right now this uh leader of the wagner group is saying we want putin not in charge we want to get rid of the top chain of military command everybody else is cool though you guys are all good like the lower enlisted the lower chain of command yeah yeah they took uh the first thing they took has an airfield that's directly supporting uh the war in ukraine and they just be like hey if you're trying to fly out to fight ukraine's hell yeah we're gonna put one of our guys on your helicopter go off just make sure you don't attack us yeah they're they're they're still fighting ukraine oh yeah yeah supporting the fight of ukraine while also fighting russia yeah i mean they didn't take very much i think it's like a division or something it's like it's a divisional element it's not like a crate because you know it

is a coup and there's not like troops stationed around moscow so they don't really need to do a lot i mean that's what happened in like 1991 it was like a battalion element surrounded the kremlin yeah and then they just did that so we'll see what happens it's wild it's super dude metal gear is real he he predicted everything oh and and uh the opposition of the main leader in belarus is now speaking out being like we want all russians out of belarus yeah oh yeah that guy's yeah yeah he i mean bunch of crazy shit going on right now and i think my favorite thing that's going on with this whole scenario is it's a giant conspiracy theory and it's not real that's my oh dude a lot a lot of being like oh it's a they're they're

trying to do this to get ukraine to attack and push real big so that they can nuke them yeah oh yeah dude there is a major like false flag fucking crazy conspiracy theories going on dude everyone thinks everything is a conspiracy everything is a conspiracy now it's so hard because like information drops and more information drops and then the government will hide stuff but then be open about certain stuff when you're like yeah the information war that's the part of the the ukraine war watching a modern war between two modern countries and how you literally can't discern what's happening even looking at maps of the battlefield moving like you can't tell who is winning at any point until much later much Much later. Yeah. Yeah. It's wild to watch World War Three

is going to be crazy. We're going to watch it on tick tock just like a go ahead and say we're already watching it on tick tock. This is the beginning. I can't wait to watch baby cronk on tick tock fighting against China or whatever. That's a guy, right? Yeah, dude, I can't wait to watch baby cronk on tiktok fighting against china or whatever

that's a guy right that's a whole nother story yeah dude i can't believe that exists well right now it's so weird just we have the the ukraine war and then social media is great because we forgot about that essentially in my opinion everyone was like support i was about to say oh no and then you can cut to like the 500 people that died on that boat the immigrants because it was like 500 so right next to fucking walk like a shoreline you know about this baddie no i haven't even heard about this yeah dude there's a boat of of 750 immigrants and they're trying to immigrate to greece for firstly imagine how bad it has to be in your home country for you to choose greece as the place you go place fucking terrible dude

yeah i'm gonna go to the place with the sweatiest smelliest people that's wild so racist against white people we're allowed to do that yeah dude fuck you you're fucking gyros over there hey your lady's at mustaches what's up with that so anyway they were going to greece rooms are hot yeah dude uh and so they were pulling up and then they like i don't know what happened some catastrophic failure on the boat yeah something over there and they're like oh okay you're out there you can't you're not welcome here and then the boat just sank dude

everyone on it not great and so a bunch of people are like drowning or whatever and like no there's no like massive coast guard thing to like hey well let's just save even if we don't want these people here let's save them and put them back let's not let them die meanwhile some dude with an xbox controller is lost by the titanic and everybody's like we gotta do something about this and dude the media just freaked the fuck out about it what happened this what's going on and then you find out that thing just dude and people were so mad at me for making fun of them hey if you try to go to space in like a volvo if you build a catapult to throw your car into space hey bro i'm gonna make fun of you when you die that's crazy that you would do that it's like

that flat earth guy that built a rocket remember so he could look at the earth being flat and then he exploded yeah dog guess why you're not an engineer he literally was like i don't know a lot about math but i feel like i know a lot about rockets hey what the fuck that's not how that works that's a shirt i don't know much about math but i know a bunch about right yeah bro explosion in the background the craziest thing i've ever heard that would be like i don't know a lot about vaginas but i know a lot about sex you're like what hold on well how are you doing it this makes no sense yeah dude wait what the oh my god so they had um apparently submarine had carbon fiber that was outdated that the fuel lodge that's what happened he bought it on a discount and great because it Apparently, Submarine had carbon fiber that was outdated.

The fuel lodge, that's what happened. He bought it on a discount rate because it was- You got to get the discount. He got his Submarine from Costco. Nothing like billionaires needing that discount Costco card sub. Dude, no one's cheaper than a rich person. No. No one's cheaper than a rich person. The Boeing.

So the owner of the company, they got old. Boeing was like oh we can't use this anymore it's too old for our fuel loss and then they were like oh we'll take it at a discounted rate bought it and then they're like now we can go to the sea yeah dude on old fucking shit with that they glued titanium hatch to carbon and carbon and titanium don't bond you have to glue them and but they expand from temperature in different ways so like you're cracking the steel that's a terrible plan then the guy was like we don't hire submariners or submariners or whatever you call them sorry i don't know sorry to everyone in the navy i don't know the fuck you guys are up to

and then he's like because we want to inspire people we want diversity in the workplace we don't want a bunch of 50 year old white guys i'll hire one though just hire one 50 year old white guy who was in a submarine one time did you see they rivet you into the summer yeah wait what so okay you fair though, that's not super unusual for some of these old things. Okay, fair. See, I will say that maybe it's not unusual for a submarine, but me as a regular guy who's going to go to the bottom of the ocean, that's fair.

I need you to get in and I'm going to rivet you in Formula One style. I like the imagery because you're like, okay, hey, can you get in? There you go. Hey, sit down right there. And then the glass goes over and you're like, okay, hey, can you get in? There you go. Hey, sit down right there. And then the glass goes over and you're like, hey, you're good? You can't hear anything? You're like.

The guy who did it was like, this is safe because we're taking cues from the aeronautics industry. And I saw the video and I was like okay that's really interesting an interesting idea because the aeronautics industry obsessed with safety pretty good at it right yeah and then but then he seals you into a tube that is an oxygen rich environment the first astronauts to ever die were sealed into a tube that was an oxygen rich environment and they had electronics and of course there's lots of oxygen so one little spark from their fucking playstation controller and they all burned alive so i was like dude you didn't read any dude i didn't graduate high school and i know that happened bro what the fuck and you're

in the bottom of the ocean in the oxygen rich tube come on man i couldn't do it the ocean i i don't give a shit of going that deep i like as a as a lot of people were saying, they were how many meters deep? Like 4,000. 4,000 meters. Yeah, like just shy of 4,000. Just shy. The Titanic is like 3980 or something crazy. And a military submarine.

Military submarine doesn't go lower than like 500 apparently. Yeah, 2,000. That's max. 2,000. Dude, we got some beefy submarines. And they're like, like nah that's too low and even then that's like sketchy right you don't want to be exactly that's like max depth at least that's what people are saying online i'm sure yeah we have the secret super secret alien submarine

that runs off of magnets or whatever that's down even further oh yeah it's fucking new but that's that's the other crazy thing all this time all this money spent and the navy was like oh no we knew they imploded day one like immediately literally the navy was like we're so sorry we knew that they explode dude imagine the navy you're like a radar guy and you're like here the titanic just explodes what the fuck you're like yeah like what you take your headphones off looking around like hey did someone set a firecracker off here in the Titanic? What the fuck just happened?

Oh no, that was a couple billionaires. Oh, okay, whatever. You see the guy shakes his headset. Puts him back on. I guarantee you it was his like four day week and that's why he didn't help. He just like clocked out with the band playing video games. Finally, he gets to the surface, and they're like,

dude, this thing fucking imploded. I wasn't a black cat. Oh, fuck. Dude, did you just... He goes, oh. How much money did we spend? Hey, buddy. Oh, not again.

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Yo, Manscaped. Your intros are... They wrote this. One of the very first radio transmissions as they were descending to see the Titanic was that the guy was like, hey, our TV system is malfunctioning because they have a thing that is like, welcome to the Titanic. And explaining what's going on, almost Jurassic Park style. You know what I mean? But it caught on a loop.

So it was playing that Celine Dion song and showing images from the real Titanic and stuff on a loop so they died listening to my heart will go on on a loop just trapped in a steel tube with that song playing they're stabbing to try to make that pressure equalize have you seen what implosion is like dude it's instantaneous that's how i want to die if i could choose a death that would be vaporized dude it's like an actual i thought it just like crushed you but it's an actual explosion yeah an implosion is just another word for explosion too explosion is right there i should know anything with plosion the amount of times I saw the old Mythbusters clip of where they had the guy in like the old school dive suit. And they had him super deep. And then they tested what would happen if like they changed the pressure.

And the whole body just sucked into the helmet. Imagine being one of the first guys to dive and you're like helping him and you pull him up. And it's just like a little ball of him in the head you're like it's just soup seems not great that's what happened uh down in that one uh oil the deep deep refinery where they had to dive in they would live there for like four or five days a couple weeks that's really and then they would go down and uh do shit at the bottom sea so when he came back to the middle ground where they're all like stationed and they live um he was supposed to decompress the entire area and there was a malfunction human error didn't seal it all the way so when they opened it everyone died fucking instantaneous that entire ridge just gone everything killed yeah what was it there was like 90s or 2000s

dude just yeah just instantly. There's like recreations and everything like that. What's it called? Like pee pressure or something? PSI? There's a word terminology for pressure has to be equal. So that's what happens. It's all the pressure.

And you have hundreds of millions of pounds of pressure. All that water on you, dude. Yeah, and your pocket is like, this isn't equal. How does it get equal? Meat sack. Yeah, dude. Just delete everything. I think this is my favorite part of the podcast.

When we talk about science that we truly none of us understand. I love it, dude. Throw it on a lab coat. I'm like, I PSI. He's like, you have millions of pounds of pressure. And there's one dude who understands this and aren't listening right now who's like, these fucking idiots. He's in the comments right now.

Yeah, dude, I love that guy. I love that guy. He's educating me. I refuse to be educated. Dog, read what you said and it will completely not go in. He's a criminal and we're idiots.

That's right, dude. We're not going to learn at this point in our life. It's absolutely real. So the more more you know. Dude, I can't believe, yeah, they exploded. In other news, Zelda's out. That's pretty cool.

Dude, Zelda's out. Fucking Diablo. What the fucking Final Fantasy 16. I know. I got to play Final Fantasy. It's so good. It is the pinnacle of gaming, right? It's what I've missed in gaming.

Well, so Diablo. We were talking about this before the podcast fucking just we're spoiled for choice this year new 70s cyberpunk coming out i i cannot i see so i can never stream cyberpunk ever again because i have put so many mods in that game there are titties everywhere oh yeah there's just literally there's just no shirts i thought you were gonna say i accidentally had gay sex on stream and I now I can never live with myself or something. I modded so much cyberpunk. Every pair of clothing is like sheen like.

Oh, yeah, this is the future. I want to live in. Yeah, I had a Skyrim mod that just put tits on the dragon. That's all it did. So when the dragon shut up, it just huge naturals, that 4k drop yeah dude looking great yeah yeah the crazy anime booby jiggle physics too yeah good of course good of course i love it if you let your priorities never played skyrim and you don't tell them about that one mod everything else is normal and it's not the first dragon. It's

a little further in the game. The first one's pretty... You're looking up at it and they're just hanging. Dovahkiin! Dovahkiin! Right at the gate, you're going to suspect something. If it's like four dragons in, enter the first

play through and you're like... That's a nice rack. When you get far enough into a relationship with a girl who's not a gamer and she gets to the point where she's now gonna watch you play games she doesn't really understand games so she's chilling with you and then you you're playing a regular fantasy game and the dragon has huge natural part of the game i don't know most games call duty loaded with huge naturals, dude. Tits everywhere. Tits, dude.

This is the kind of video game you play when I'm not around. I'm like, these are... Yeah, it's the opposite. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, my God, dude. Yeah, we are very spoiled with games this year, which is very different from last year. Yeah, dude. I mean, I feel like the last three years.

Yeah, we've had one or two here or here there but there's been so many disappointments and like weird things that have happened and just like you know misses or games being delayed so i'm stoked on this year dude i don't have time that's you've been fucking working i've been working what are you doing just traveling and doing shows i'm just traveling on tour so i'm just like doing i'm traveling like four days a week then i come home and I have to do my podcast for two days. And I've got like all this other stuff. Then you have to like get your life in order. Then you have to leave for tour again.

I know, dude. I'm an adult. I know. Like an adult. It's fucking crazy. You got responsibilities. And then I also plan like other stuff. Like I had,

I had like three days off and I just decided to spend them here in Texas surfing, which is a thing I never thought I would say out loud. Dude, you were fucking shredding. I was ripping bro. I'm so sore. I've never been so sore in my life.

One other time I was this sore and it's cause I had sex with a French woman. And besides that, I'm like, I literally like, I can't walk. My hip hurts. It's nuts. Do you rewind why a French woman made you so what you've never had sex with a French woman before? Maybe, I don't walk. My hip hurts. It's nuts, dude. Rewind why a French woman made you sore. What?

You've never had sex with a French woman before? Maybe. I don't know. Bro, you would know if you had done it. I will tell you this right now. Not French-Canadian. I'm talking about that pure, real shit. Vermont, French-Canadian. That's all you get. You don't get normal French up in Vermont.

Maybe New York. It's diversity. Vermont's French-Canadian. That is it. When I was a very young man, a piece of shit french up in in new in vermont like maybe new york isn't diversity but vermont's french canadian that is it when i was a very young man a piece of shit was some would say uh i i was a sniper you remember myspace and kick remember these two things yes wait kick kick like or the the kik oh my god yeah yeah holy shit yeah the old school dudes just picked up chicks t-mobile sidekick, baby. And by chicks, I mean children, you sick fucks. Yeah, I mean people still do that.

It's very bad. Don't do that. Anyway, I was on MySpace and I was like, wait, G-Band, pause it, do a safety message, continue with regular broadcast. So when I was on MySpace, I was like 15. Of course, I was like a I was like a little weirdo. I had a bunch of tattoos and I was fucking doing I was up to stuff. I like to avenge sevenfold. Ladies love that shit.

I like to avenge. Yeah, dude. So I met a lot of but because the social media back then wasn't like for normal people. Yeah, right. And so we all had our little weird groups. And so I met all these alternative people from all over the world and there was this one girl from paris who was really hot and she's a french woman and she spoke you know english pretty well and we used to talk and she had like you know hair and the gothic makeup and whatever she's much older than me like i

didn't realize i'm like 15 and she's like 20 something yeah yeah i just like i said it i know well but in france that's like no i'm a fully grown man in france when i'm 15 bro i should be smoking cigarettes and have a job doc so um we talked for a long time then i i like by the time i was like 20 we were still talking and now she's like much older right and so um at this time i'm like a total piece of shit i'm like a full-on criminal i don't have a lot of money and i'm up to stuff but she's like hey we didn't talk for like you know how you you'll like not talk to someone for like eight months and all of a sudden they come back yeah i love that it's fine whatever do it yeah she comes back she's like hey what's up like how have you been we start reconnecting and um she's like hey i'm actually gonna like join the

army i graduated from college i'm gonna be an officer i'm gonna do all this stuff with my life i want to be a politician but before i do this like i'd really love to meet you like i want like one last like hurrah let's come back hurrah so she's like if you save some money i'll also send you some money and then you fly to paris for a couple days before i leave. So I was like, fuck it, dude. So I say you're 15. No, no, no.

I'm, I'm 20. I'm 20, but I've known her since I was 15. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

So I'm 20 and she's like, I want to say 28 right now. This store is no longer illegal. The story is no longer. It's very legal. It started very dangerous and we're moving into spicy, but now we're into, now we're Taco Bell mild. So she invites me over.

So I do this. I don't tell any of my friends. Because I'm from Utah. But I tell my friends I'm going to France. They'll call me gay. So I can't. I'll get made fun of. It's the early 2000s.

It's the early 2000s. I understand. It's a different time. I save up some money. I get a ticket to go to i've never i've like hard i i've never like been somewhere crazy before so i'm like going to europe for my first time i fly out there she picks me up we just go to a hotel and for like two nights in a day we just have this like crazy romance where we're like telling each other we love each other we're fucking so much you ever fuck so much that you're dehydrated you're like telling each other we love each other we're fucking so much

you ever fuck so much that you're dehydrated you're like i gotta eat peanuts bro i need salt i need i need something that dehydrate yeah it's just that fucking clear have you ever had like i don't know if you guys are circumcised what are you rocking what are you rocking are you pushing aside i'm like yeah you rocking what are you rocking? What are you rocking? Are you pushing aside? I'm like, yeah. You rocking. What are you, circced? What are you doing? Oh, cut. Gone. Cut.

Cut. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All of us were faded. We got the fade. We got the fade. My brothers who are uncirced, they don't get that.

But have you ever fucked so hard that later the top near your penis is sore? You're like, what the fuck? Yeah, dude. I got it. Because we don't have the thing. Anyway, it doesn't yeah we don't have the calloused we're not sleeved you get rug burn yeah you get rug burn so oh yeah sensitive touch man it's that young sensitive touch like ah that was that was the first time because i've only ever been with american women and like listen shouts out to american women so there's some women who throw it down america southern women uh women from

appalachia from alaska dude she throws it down okay but like i've been i've been hooking up with like mormons and fucking women from california that's bullshit dude docking it's a yeah yeah i get to france i started hooking up with this grown-ass woman and she it's the first time i'd ever been having sex with someone and i was like oh she is fucking me back yeah yeah like oh oh okay oh shit and so it was crazy dude we were doing all you ever done the amazon i didn't even know that existed till then go on the amazon is when you lay on your back and like your legs are up and then she takes your dick kind of like points it like this way right and then she fucks you

so it's almost like pegging but straight do you understand what i'm saying not that pegging isn't straight shouts out to everyone who loves a little butt play go crazy do what you gotta do homies do what you gotta do in your legs yeah like she's in front of me like doing it but like my dick is like she's got that she's got your shit fucking flat kind of flat i'm like at an angle i'm like 45 to get well not like that but you know what i'm talking you're at that angle where it's like yeah yeah yeah exactly like when you have a super hard and you're like pushing it down okay yeah yeah yeah yeah so she and then sheDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning. Which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do.

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I don't like being dominated. She's not dominating you. She looks into your eyes. She tells you she loves you. You're safe, dude. That's what you are. Because the second my legs are like this, and it's like I'm being wiped.

My legs are up like a baby's legs. I'm like, ah, I'm soft now. That's a flaccid pee pee. I'm incredibly hard, dude. I just, I don't like that at all. I'm just picturing me like that. I just like, I can't talk dirty right now. I can't be like, yeah, you fuck that dick.

Fuck me harder. When this woman... Then I feel her hands hold my throat. I'm like... Listen. Listen. Listen to me. Don't hold my hand.

When a six-foot-tall French woman with a full set of armpit hair takes control, you just go with it. All right. She was six feet tall, too? Yeah, dude. She was tall. She was a big old... She was a bitch.

She was an Amazon woman, dude. But she wasn't dominating you. No, no. It was like a whole... It was like a competing... It was a big old bitch. She was an Amazon, but she wasn't dominating you. No, no. It was like a whole thing. It was like a competing. It was a competing thing. You're competing. Hey, hey, hey.

Are you okay? I'm fine. Hairy woman. I'm holding you down. Your legs are up in the air. I like a little armpit hair. Your girl would just send it. You're in fucking the guard position, and you're winning.

No, dude. That's how I'm pulling guard. That's a winning position. I'm throwing the arm bar. I put her in the triangle, dude. Get it. Anyway, it was very good. You finished the fight.

She gave me a blow job on a balcony yeah dude i could see the eiffel tower while i was coming really yeah you kept your eyes open i kept my eyes open dude where's it like this yeah i salute it dude i was like yeah keep your eyes open while you come though like that's kind of like oh dude i always keep i'm looking bro what are you doing i gotta see where i'm aiming what how do you come i'll fucking just you just pray and pray i'm over it out at that moment passing out now i'm just happy bro it's good i don't care if my eyes are open i'm already done like i don't need to watch it you just leave a mess and then just yeah i leave a mess and i walk away i'm like all right see you tomorrow no i don't

well you close your eyes i why not why not yeah yeah dude i'm aiming or i'm like looking at him i'm like this rocks dude just like when i'm j-o into porn i'm not like i'm about to eli say jack off say jack off eli hold on i'm closing my eyes i'm about to bust oh dude you've never been watching porn and then it switches to the bad thing like that's when i close my eyes it ruins it that's what you're ruining your own orgasm dude look at her i'm not i'm not no no no no no no no no no no no no see i keep my eyes open when i'm coming because i'm i gotta be able to read my thing and then i'm then i'm closing my eye i'm not being like all right i'm about to bust oh you bust and then close your eyes i'm just chilling i'm good that's weird man

i gotta clean up first thing i'm like oh i look at my fucking prize i'm like man i did good look at that fucking oh you have to clean up oh dude, dude, for real, dude. Hell yeah. And then- What is that, eight, nine robes? I'm going crazy today, dude. Blue true to none. Yeah, exactly, dude. That's what's up. And then I get up, go in the bathroom, and then I come in, get a cloth, and wipe them Oh, dude, they love it when you have the cloth.

I'm a southern gentleman. I'm glad we're not having a full discussion. I'm going gonna do something here oh yeah go crazy man super excited to do this sheath ad read today i'm actually wearing my spare pair super comfortable are they yeah eli eli oh they do look comfortable. And they smell good. Let's take a quick second and thank today's sponsor for the video, Sheath Underwear. Sheath makes the most comfortable boxer briefs I have ever worn. If you're sick of wearing boxers that are too loose or briefs that are too light, Sheath is the answer for you.

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Cheers to that. Everybody. Final Fantasy 16. Fucking play it. If you haven't, it's bad. He just started. I'm like, what? Three to that, everybody. But Final Fantasy XVI, fucking play it. If you haven't, it's... Batty just started. I'm like, what, three hours in? Yeah.

You are a hardcore gamer. You come from that old time frame, like Xenogears and everything. Oh, dude, I've been playing all of them. One of my favorite games of all time. I know. Dude, where's our remaster? They will never... Bro, it's a remaster.

Didn't Xenogears come out on Switch? Didn't they do some Xenogears on Switch? No, no, no. They go to Xenosaga and stuff. Xenoblade. That's what and stuff. Xenoblade. Xenoblade. Xenosaga. Xenogears was too ahead. It's so ahead of its time. It's still ahead of its time.

It's still ahead of its time. It's kind of like if Metal Gear never got traction. It's just the ideas, the concepts, the art, the music. Everything about it is perfect and people don't appreciate it and I will kill everybody it's one of the greatest passion and i love it he's just never played it dude it's really never played it you should try it you'll love it i played second disc it's weird but i played the one on switch because you could i could download it i'm lazy that was completely

different storylines like casino gears and it sucks because it was a wife and husband team and they were like super to max and you got to watch all the bts and then he killed her no no what the fuck why would he do that go close your eyes and it's but it sucks because it was competing with Final Fantasy VII. Yeah. And then American, when the American translation, they got it. And they were like, you can't fight God. Yeah, yeah, yeah. This is church and everything. In the 90s, they were like, we can't make this in America. And like switch a lot of stuff.

There's a drunk priest with a gun. Oh, yeah. One of my favorite characters, dude. The dad. Because there's Billy and the dad. That's the drunk priest with fucking guns. I love any character in a JRPG with a gun a gun i don't know why they're always my favorite guys this is like a martial arts because everything's like other than the robots it's

weird everyone uses swords and everything and then you have giant mechs and then finally billy with his revolvers exactly dude you have a guy with a whip that That's like, yeah, let's bring an American in. He's a priest with a gun. Oh, tell it, dude. And they're correct. I'm happy with it, dude. I love representation. I'm a weird guy with a gun, dude.

That's what I'm about. This is what this is about. And then you got religion and then them using religion as an entire fake sect to control people. That game was deep for me. That never happens. And then they had, yeah, that never happens. They also had a character that was like Blanca if he had a Gundam. Oh, yes.

Blanca from Street Fighter if he had a Gundam. Yeah, yeah. I can't remember his name. Rico. Yeah, yeah, yeah, dude. We're going nuts over here. I forgot that's the best. He's a green, orange haired.

Yeah, he's Blanca from Street Fighter. And then he has a Gundam, dude. We're going nuts over here. I forgot that's the best. He's a green, orange-haired. Yeah, he's a Blanca from Street Fighter. And then he has a Gundam, dude. It rocks. I forgot about that. Dude, and his Gundam is Jack, too, dude. Dude, he has all of that muscle. Yeah, dude. He has the biggest one other than saving the purple fucking mat.

Dude, I'm going to go replay that, right? I'm going to go drop and play that. You can emulate it on your Steam Deck. Did you get all the figures? Because they just launched i saw you sent that i i need to do i need to go check that out i bought all of them all the where you put them i already well you've seen the the id one because i got it a nice one at the house and the red id is just like sitting there floating so so gangster you'll never be open sealed it yeah which most weird this is the first time i've ever got this in a collectible. They sent it, and then I got the stickers in a separate package.

Like completely separate. Completely separate. They mailed it differently. I got it at a different time. I'm like, oh, yeah, we forgot to send these stickers that go on it. Okay. You have to put the stickers on yourself. I didn't open either.

So I just slid the stickers under. I was like, and that on yourself. I didn't open either. So I just, I slid the stickers under. I was like, that's great. Customer service in Japan is so good. They told on themselves before you had the chance. Yeah. It's like,

he's like, uh, dude, I think you would need that. Chris, dude, he like hand writes my name. The fucking guy who works in that factory sent you the box and was asleep that night and just woke up and was like, fuck, I forgot the stickers.

And his wife was like, what? And he was like, I've brought incredible dishonor. The wife's like, I'm going to get. It's like running to the mailbox Slamming that thing in there to melt it I'm sorry I have to leave right now Some weird American horny guy Needs these stickers

Some creepy American guy He definitely is into some weird shit He's watching right now. He's like, I didn't know. We love you, random Japanese guy. Thank you for those sticks, bro. Shouts out Japan.

You guys are awesome. I'll see you in December. Are you going to Japan in December? I'm going to Japan to surf in December. Yeah. Why? To surf? Yeah.

Surfing's best in the winter, but there's a wave pool there, and then also there's good surfing in Japan. And I'm going to go, like, look at the giant Gundam and do all kinds of, you know, cool Japanese stuff. Oh, dude, I would love to go to Japan. Dude, it's Christmas. It's going to be before Christmas.

That's fine. It's still, like, out there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't think that, yeah, it is tough. My birthday's in December, so. But I have not bought any tickets yet, so if people are trying to plan like a nerd trip, dude, we could go to some arcades.

We could get crazy. I have time off. November, December. I've been to Japan. Sorry, we're canceling all podcasts for December. We're going to Japan. We'll just do them in Japan. Dude, we could just do live podcasts in Japan.

Walking podcast in Tokyo. Can we? Oh, we're all backpacking. We're all walking around like this oh my god oh they would hate us or love us they like my japanese tattoos they're gonna be they're gonna see me and they're

gonna be like this guy's fucking wild and they're gonna be like what and i'll have a full mullet by then are you growing a mullet? Boom. I'm on it. I'm trying to get the Kentucky waterfall going. Let's fucking go.

Boom. I look like I have a mullet right now. You do. And you look sexy. I would wear your face, bro. No, I would be down. Like Japan, it reminds me of what's the Dreamcast game? Shinmue.

Oh, yeah. Yeah, it's like 80s Shinmue. That's the perfect representation of Japan. You're like, oh, you just walk around. In the wintertime, though, it would be a blast because that's not an experience. Is it cold? Yeah, yeah. Oh, it gets cold there.

Dude, I don't know. I don't know. Yeah, it gets very cold. It gets very hot and cold. They, it gets cold there. Dude, I don't know. I don't know. Oh, yeah, it gets very cold. It gets very cold. Hot and cold. They have crazy snow and shit. Yeah. It won't take long to tell you Neutral's ingredients.

Vodka, soda, natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added? Neutral. Refreshingly simple. That'd be beautiful. Oh, because then we could get one of those mountainside places. Oh, dude.

We could even go skiing or something crazy. We can go hang out. Dude, it'd be awesome. And I tokyo in the winter it's like a vibe like it's pretty sick dude joe tokyo and so far anytime i'm like yeah yeah yeah you can buy houses out there for a dollar for an entire year because they have abandoned house issues that are extremely far out in the yeah i've been watching i watch these people on youtube these like americans that bought a house and they're like redoing it it's a dollar you buy them for nothing they just say upkeep it dude but how do you you can't live there though how do you own property you can live there they they're trying to like do something if you're in the i think that they're like hey listen if

you're foreign you can live here just don't go in the city like yeah like you can live in the country be weird out away from us go do your camera things over there i also think there's a very weird specific thing and i mean listen japan i don't know if you're being racist it seems like you are i get it low-key you guys are pretty wild about that shit but i think that you can only go if you're married so that there's no risk of you marrying a japanese person i think someone was talking about that on youtube i don't know but he he was married and someone was like how are you getting over here and he's like oh i was already married and that like makes it so much easier to get this process going no i'm not gonna yeah yeah i don't want any weird american gorillas up there dude watching those japanese videos because it is it's weird youtubers they'll just go and be like oh we got this property for a dollar yeah yeah pewdiepie has i mean i was just saying the

whole fucking pewdiepie thing he's he's been like yeah it turned my life around yeah he's saying i'm finally free of that content creation hell cycle yeah he's just happy there's a few like i'm truly not there's a few people that do youtube's about reconstructing these houses and they're just like i just live a simple life in the japanese countryside and like this is what it's all about dude that sounds like i'm like like as long as i have fiber like i'm cool with it yeah no me too dude i would live in a van if the internet was good yeah i don't care i wish i could live in a van i wish the internet was good he's not fast enough dude van life the van life i think's his name he's gonna uh been talking to him he lives in it he does plays video games and streams does he have a satellite internet

connection oh so then but then he's like spending apartment money in a van to have fast internet He plays video games and streams. Does he have a satellite internet connection? But then he's spending apartment money in a van to have fast internet. Well, now with Starlink, it's like $60 or $100. What? You didn't know that? Dude, I'm about to move into a van. How much are you spending in New York? Please tell me about rent versus $60. Yeah, dude, I spent like $8 thousand dollars to live in a box the size

of this thing it's so funny dude it's crazy how expensive it is out there dude the van life is really cool watching that style content because he does streaming and then his youtube content he just goes and finds like haunted places this yeah he's like yeah he just pulls up his van gets out and i emailed him i was like bro you probably don't get this much but like fucking kudos on your camera work i know no one says anything he is the guy that will get out put the camera down walk all the way back then drive the van and just to get shot oh yeah he's he's got an eye for survival tv less uh less less grow no no crowd less crowd is that what his name is no i went straight to fucking he's the guy that eventually he would uh everyone got mad at him Les Grosman. No, not Les Grosman. Les Trout? Is that what his name is? Les. No. I went straight to fucking. He's the guy that eventually everyone got mad at him because he was like, Bigfoot's real.

And people were like, what are you saying? I was like, dude, this guy is spitting. Let's talk about that. What is. He's Survivorman. Survivorman. Thank you. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I think his name's Les Trout, but I don't know. It could be. It's Les something. But that dude was crazy because he did the same thing. It was like, set up camera, walk. Yeah, Les Shroud.

And he's by himself out in the middle of nowhere. He's got like three tripods that he's fucking working with. Yeah, he kills it. It's crazy also to be like, I'm going to survive, but I have to carry this gear. Yeah. Every time you watch a nature documentary, you're like, dude, the people filming this are like the manliest people. That's so nuts.

Whoever Bear Grylls' cameramanills cameraman was ggs homie did you ever see africa like uh in africa when they're photo like foot uh photographing the lions and everything eating from the swamps like that one dude that's in the swamp oh dude yeah they're literally like in a ghillie suit like sure hope they don't notice me yeah dude like and they'll be in the water batty and they're just holding a camera for hours waiting for shots. Dude, that's so crazy. Nah. I would never do that. It seems ironic for me to be like I was a sniper, but nah.

Yeah, I'm good, dude. Waiting for shots. Different kind. It's finally here. Battery dead. Oh, dude. He's like opening it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

The alligators. The crocodiles just floating that's a different thing entirely oh japan i'm down i'd go yeah go back i mean we've been talking about going to japan for we were gonna try in 2021 yeah covid still has weird rules well i think they're good now there are but you still have to wear a mask a lot of the times. I think. I mean, the boys were all just there. I don't remember seeing them wear masks.

Yeah, I saw some people not, but the people I saw were in the countryside and they were surfing. So I don't know. That's always because even PewDiePie, he just did that. Hey, this is annoying thing. He looked what I love, what I don't love. Like, yeah, he like, cones are everywhere. But also, he's about to have a kid, and he's only allowed to be in the hospital for two hours during this because of COVID rules.

So he's like, once the kid's born, you only have two hours to be in that room, and then you have to go until the next day. Just to keep the amount of people in the hospitals low. Yeah, and so the spread of COVID. It's so weird. He's like, I don't know. And then my friends and family say. The spread of gingivitis. Yeah. G's so weird. He's like, I don't know. And then my friends and family spread it.

Gingervitis. Yeah, Gingervitis. Hey, Eli. Yes. Do you like shopping online? Yes. Do you like downloading music or videos online? Yes.

Do you also watch a lot of porn online? Yes. No. No. Well, you're probably using Cognito mode for all that, right? Yes. It's totally safe. 100% safe.

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So protect yourself with a VPN that we use in trust. So use our link below, expressvpn.com slash unsub and get three months free on a one-year package. That's expressvpn.com slash unsub. Thankfully, YouTube, they've lightened up on that. We'll find out. Yeah, the ginger- We've said a lot of things.

This has been a slow- We've said so many. We've gone from world politics topic dude dominated by a french woman exactly baddie comes weird baddie comes weird from me final fantasy 16 yeah dude which is amazing so much tasteful side boob in final fantasy 16 really so much tasteful side boob in Final Fantasy 16. Really? So much tasteful side boob. You know what's the most underrated boob? Ironically, I say that. It's under boob. I agree with that.

Yeah, dude. I saw a bunch of under boob on 6th Street in Austin yesterday, and I was like, all right. I see it. Nice. I love under boob. I will always say, like Savino, shout out to Sav's under boob. It's the best under boob in the world. Love is real, dude.

You should do the Amazon, man. Come on. Hold on. It's my job. My dude, you got the one leg up. You know, when you put one of her legs up, let me stretch my dick out first. Well, you never does that been this way. You ever get tangled up and you're kind of scissoring? You know, you're fucking, but one leg is over yours and the other leg is over here. Tangled up. Oh, yeah.

No. That's kind of in the realm of what's going on. Yeah. Except for the power stance she's in. The fuck? Well, dude. Listen. Oh, I come weird.

She's in a power stance. Bro, don't say she's not. do not knock it until you've tried it all right you know what fair also that girl's pussy was from the future she could do whatever she wants bro it was so good it was crazy wait how did that story end oh you fell in love you fucked in front of the eiffel tower we had a well we had a french affair an affair in america's when you cheat or whatever but in like france or whatever an affair it's just like a whirlwind love thing where you're like in love but it's only supposed to last so long that's why it's french or whatever so we had this thing we were like in love we fucked like crazy we were cuddling it was very nice it was like one of the best things ever and then she was like bye i was like bye i love you and i never talked to her again wait is that a chapter and that's a that's an amazing chapter yeah dude i just never talked i literally like she went off to join the army or whatever and she her kick was deleted and and myspace is gone i just never saw her again

wow she's never reached out to me i've kind of hoped like as i've gained any kind of notoriety maybe she would be like oh shit this guy but i'm sure she's like married to some rich guy and like has a successful military career and like it's up to whatever she's up to or she's got a photo on your phone she looks at her she's an altering universe she is on a podcast right at this moment talking about the american dude dude who does she dominated no no no no i laid pipe it sounds like she had the yellow helmet on turns we passed the construction that's right we collaborated and it was great. All right. We explored each other's bodies. I love that idea.

She's just like there was an American guy. I wonder what he's doing. If you're listening to this podcast right now, I will go crazy. I will let you fuck me again. Yeah, it was very cool. Also, just shout out to the older woman, you know, teaching me what's up. MILFs.

Yeah, dude. MILFs. They have way more experience. It's so much better just to like, yeah, she knew what was up. Cut loose. Also, shout out France, dude. You guys are wild. I love how they protest.

They're just like, let's light stuff on fire. America, too. We do that here a lot, too. Yeah, but they're not doing it. light stuff on fire that's america yeah we do that here a lot too they're not doing it that we do like bricks and windows and we destroy buildings i would say we we do protesting where we barely break anything the news says we break everything and then nothing changes you know and then in france they're like, we, the fire department set themselves on fire and ran into the line of police officers. Like once the farmers protested, like some weird thing about them subsidizing food or making it so they can't grow as much as they want. And they drove hundreds of tractors full of manure and dumped them in front of the French version of the White House so that it like created a giant barricade of literal shit. And they're like, we'll clean it up when you stop fucking around yeah yeah i was like dude france is doing it baby that's how you do protests though that's like in my like that is what you do it's

like hey well they they have a very they have a very when france protests they go this is exactly what we want give it to us or else when we protest we're like we want you have two sides of the spectrum where no one wants the same thing and also we have no clear goals we no one is like because in france they're like this is exactly what i want yeah this is it right here do it and for all of us our entire country every single one of us is kind of like i don't know i kind of i don't really know what it's like when you're like you ask someone what they're into for sex and they're like i like stuff what are you saying yeah dude what do you want to eat vague yeah what do you that's exactly america is a woman who doesn't know what she wants

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get delivery in as fast as 60 minutes. Plus, enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Also, as soon as you're like, and then you pick something, you go, okay, we're going to eat Chinese. She goes, ah, I don't want that.

It's like, not that. What? Ah, you told me to pick and I picked and now you don't like it? I will freak out. I just don't want that. That's us. I'll take that one though. Yeah, yeah. Oh, dude. And you're like, that was mine. us. I'll take that one, though. Yeah, you can.

Oh, dude. And you're like, that was mine. I'm running to the gas station real quick. Do you want a drink? No. You come back out. He's like, dude, every time. Every time.

I love to get a drink anyway. And then they're mad at you, but they drink it. You're like, yeah, I thought so, dude. You maniac. Dude, how excited are you for the new Lord of the Rings magic? This way, Batty and you can nerd out. I'm sweating right now. Incredibly.

So for those that know off camera, Eli and I have purchased a few 14 boxes, collector boxes of Magic the Gathering. Collector boxes? All collector boxes. That's the place you're going to pull the rings. So off camera over there, collector boxes magic gathering collector box all collector box. That's the place you're gonna pull the rings. So off camera over there. There is

currently nine. We're waiting on the other six or so to come in or five more to come in still damn, but there's nine boxes within eyesight of me. You're sweating wild and can we you're gonna open them on stream probably, huh? We're gonna do it. I was like, can we're gonna do it see if the one ring is

open one right now just one pack we were just like oh bad he's like no i'm sure though i literally i had all the boxes delivered to my house and i brought them here and i was like they need to stay here because i've opened six cases or six boxes of collector boxes myself already yeah yeah yeah looking for any of the serialized rings because i i've pulled four serialized cards from the last couple sets already so i was like yeah i'm gonna hit a ring yeah maybe not the ring but i'll hit one of the other serialized rings because there's like you know 300 700 900 serialized cards and then there's 3 000 9 000 7 000 uh non-serialized but still very we can open one pack a piece right baddie we don't want a pack of peas I mean it's asking the heroin addict

we can take a hit right yeah we're gonna do all of our special come on let's open a pack I'll make you feel good you like you like make sure it's one of the oh fuck just grab one of the

loose boxes just one of my wedding dude which one loose any loose box the ones in the packages are the ones from all over the u.s no no no loose box loose box yeah that's a text so we have six over there that are a case from texas we're gonna open one and then we have eight other boxes from around the U.S. Like one from New York, Rhode Island, Florida, Wisconsin, California. Oh, you're doing it all over the place. I literally, I fucking hit the spectrum. Did you get a Canadian box? No, no.

Because I just got U.S. ones. And I got one from Utah, though. Dude, that's the winner right there, dude. Oh, my fuck. So for everybody listening, fuck you. Yeah, yeah. You don't get to see we're really doing it make sure you you crinkle the pack in front of the mic so i have opened six of these already that's so

nice i've hit every mythic in the set though so i have not done the collector's boxes i have a few that i'm going to open but i'm mostly going i'm just trying to real quick uh big shout out so um i don't want that give me a different one no no i'm gonna let you guys real quick, big shout out. So I don't want that. Give me a different one. No, fuck you. No, I'm going to let you guys pick. Yeah. Big shout out to a local game store here called Game Lot. Me and Eli had ordered a case of these from Washington, and the store canceled our order,

and then Game Lot here in San Antonio actually gave us a case to open. So big shout out to them. Oh, my God. You can smell it. This Lord of the Ring is like the biggest set so they were already getting upcharged on every single thing uh this is the one i was actually super excited for and i think batty and i know you you're like the biggest i mean look at you fucking yeah yeah lord of the rings is my shit bro i was losing my mind So now we have a single pack a piece. I'm going to throw up.

We're opening the pack now. Audio. Now what would be crazy is if one of us get the ring. I would run so fast. I was literally. You guys, I just run. You guys like what? Well, Shane's a criminal.

All right. Oh, dude. Do you still play magic? Yeah. Yeah. yeah okay i don't play a lot these days if this is weird but i'm actually i have a goal to beat a chess hustler in new york and so i'm trying to get better at chess so i'm like oh fuck you should have been here oh i'm rated like 1000 maybe 1200 right now and so i'm working on it we have gm canty coming in next week so grandmaster canty he's one of the top players in the world he's a grandmaster yeah yeah that's crazy to be a grandmaster of chess is like so insane he plays 30 second um games though that's what's blitz chess or whatever well 30 seconds like 30 seconds like like what the fuck i hate when they yeah i

just fucking rip the it's it's what are you doing no no it's not this one's one of those no it's not you can i promise you give it one do i open it give me the pack i got it dude you're a fucking even the tokens in this are so sick i am so uh if you didn't know the major hit if you pull a ring, is going to be the fourth card from the front. So we're all going to, at the same time, we're going to drop cards and see what happens. Oh, yeah. Hey, I got it. It only took the entire project. It's fine.

We'll just wait on funny life. Also, foil token. That's fun for you. Oh, yeah. I have a lot of tokens right now. I've opened a lot of packs. What I'm doing is called suspense. There's 12 per, what is it?

12 per, I think 12 packs per box. I'm moving six boxes. So yeah. I got like all foil hot. Just Eli. I swear to God, I'm gonna come over there. I'm gonna fucking skull fuck you. Hey, we got it.

See? Dude, he's been waiting. Any excuse to get inside Eli's mouth. Okay, we did it, buddy. Let's go. I got a rock. Oh yeah. Good for you, man. That's go. Okay. Woo. Woo. I got a rock. Oh, yeah.

Good for you, man. That's your token. You can just put that on the table. All right. That doesn't matter. Dude. Inherited envelope. Whoa.

Whoa. Whoa. Eli's going nuts with it. Okay. What are we doing? We're going one at a time. The ring will be the fourth card from the top. Okay.

If you have one. Boom. All right. We got one. One. Okay. Okay. And that's your envelope. Perfect. Two. Those ones. Boom. All right. We got one. Okay. Perfect. Boom. All right.

All right. Nothing. Dude, I still felt it. The fourth card. The last common will be the ring slot. So now that was pulled anything great. And after that, you can just kind of jump. That's fun. Okay.

I got an island and then I's fun. Okay, okay. I got an Island. And then I got Eowyn, Mortal Queen. Oh, dude. Is this one good, Daddy? I didn't pull anything good. It's a mythic, so it's a hit. But I wouldn't say it's crazy. Here's my thing.

I just look at this and I go, it's all good, baby. What are you talking about? Okay, I've also opened 500. I got the ring goes south. I got Mirkwood bats. This is actually a really fun card. It's a common. I have Mirkwood bats also. It's a great common bats. Have you seen? There's

a card called. Oh my God. What is it called? Orcish Bowman. That's causing just waves minus here. And then I got a spiteful banditry. Dude, this is great. Yeah, I fucking love there's a card called orcish boat are you gonna keep those what oh my god unless it was the ring then i would have

you're like i opened it though you gave this to me this is mine what am i open the ring i just ate it immediately dude you're on camera i would have been a snuff film so quick grab it and hold the diet coke over it no one fucking move everyone be cool i was telling eli if i pulled the one ring I would put it in an unsleeved deck and I would play with it live on stream every day until someone gave me a bounty

of 10 million dollars just riffle shuffling yeah dude I would do the bad dude there's a couple people that still do it like they have their old decks like their alpha and beta decks and they just unsleeved and they're just shuffling cards one of one of the cool things about new york is you can play any like there's for gaming one more like it's happening what my world i know you're a heroine i we can do this this is called content and you all have

no idea what's going on. Eli just handed me another pack. There are people who play Alpha in New York, though, and they play Unsleeved because it's like this is how we played back then. Oh, my God. Why? And it's kind of wild, but their thing is like I'm never going to sell my cards, and I'm going to use them until they're destroyed,

and then my life is going to end, and so are are these cards and i'm okay with that they're yeah and it's kind of like i get it but also damn son big yeah that's okay that's gonna be that's it we're putting the heroin away i mean the the heroin we're just calling it but it's also they're all like old like they're not who you expect they're all like 50, 40-year-old weird Italian guys who are like union workers that play Magic. That's who played Magic in the 90s. Come on, give me the black line. I'm over here with my black man. I'm over here with my black man.

All right, I got it. Okay, Batty, what do we got? One, two, three, four? Fourth card from the top. So one, two, three. Nope. three four four cards on the top so one one two three nope oh dude i got this lame frodo baggins meh oh grim that's a good one and then you're just looking for mythics or not called orcish bowman what is orcish orcish bowman is a rare and it's the most expensive card in the set. Oh wow, and besides the one ring, yeah, why it's so the one ring. There's the non serialized versions of the one ring. Yeah, and that's

the second most expensive card in the set. Okay, to the rare. I pulled soar on the Lord of the Rings. That's oh hell yeah, I got you got all wrong. Yeah, the I think wait what I got smile goal. So but he's only a common token or token yeah you're right that's really annoying they made they made a call of the ring sauron it's a it's a saga card that goes in if i get that i didn't look at spoilers i have no idea what's in the set so when i go to when i'm unboxing now i'm discovering and looking at the art and the rules for the first time. When I build my cube, which for those of you who don't know,

I bought several cases and they're just at home. I'm going to open them. I'm building a full cube for the Lord of the Rings set. Just explain what a cube is. For those of you who don't know, a cube is like the best way, in my opinion, to play Magic. Some people disagree, is to draft, which is where you all open packs and you pass them around and you

build the deck willy-nilly out of 40 cards or whatever yeah and so a cube is when you don't want to have to buy cards over and over again so what you do is you recreate opening those packs by having a full collection of all the cards that you can then randomize and make your own fake booster packs yeah and then you open them huge quotation marks around open and then you pass them around and you can draft infinitely forever and it's very cool and so that's what i'm up to with the lord of the rings set but i don't know the rules like i want to i'm never gonna look up strategies and stuff yeah i'm just gonna play like i'm gonna go on i'm also dude i'm so scared about how much money I'll spend on magic arena.

I'm so glad I don't fuck with arena, dude. I have. I had an arena account. I had like an alpha invite and I've been playing the whole time in my accounts too old and good now and I have to keep playing. I just play the sets I like and I draft, but damn, dude, you can drop some coin on their new video. You drop money. It's crazy how fast you can spend money on things it's like this doesn't help much or it's just because cosmetics even right now like diablo there was that one horse can i was like oh dude yeah no it's crazy dude there are guys who go who like

lose their marriage over clash of clans bro like i people go nuts i had a buddy who spent like 40 grand on clash of clans no and i don't know i think back in the day i spent like 200 bucks on clash of clans and i was like i can't believe i've done this but if you okay but but i will say for a mobile game if you play like hundreds of hours over the course of a year whatever like that's a hobby it makes sense it's cheaper than golf yeah or whatever but there are people who like ruin their lives thousands of dollars that one dude who spent six hundred thousand dollars on diablo immortal oh yes holy shit what are you doing man six hundred thousand to have what that's the same where it's like one season right okay

hold on actually now in his defense he could have spent that to go look at the titanic and so yeah pretty good investment when you think about it oh my god there are worse ways to spend hundreds of thousands of dollars i know this is a complete off topic bro did you hear about the youtuber that was supposed to be on that shuttle no i can't remember his name he says uh but he had he he was there he went into the submersible and he did he's got videos of him on it recording like, wow, we're in it.

And they had an issue with something once. So they pulled it out. And the second time he was supposed to go down, weather was bad. So like, nevermind, canceled it. The next trip that went down,

he was supposed to be a part of it. And he ended up not going. Yeah. And that was the one that exploded. Oh my God. So he was probably like versus the billionaire son who was out at a concert oh dude that guy blink 182 baby i would have been there too it's so crazy to post it that's the thing dog just go dude what are you doing did you see the next post he was making oh yeah he's out

of his mind wait what was the next post oh he he uh there was like an only fans girl that was like would you take me on a date and he reached out and he was like with love for chance or some shit oh that was like on my face or something i think that was the one i seen that one it's like you're like bro you're just no read the room dude and then cardi b was like cooking him on the internet bro she was when cardi lights you up dude if cardi said bad things about me, I would just be like, I love you. We've talked to me, dude. You're so fun. I feel bad because he posted a rebuttal to Cardi B.

What are you doing? I don't know if he's all there. No, he's a billionaire's son, dude. Something's wrong at that point to say you know this kid has not had any recourse or like repercussions or just hey this is common human decency doesn't understand adversity in any sense of the word i know people who grew up like upper middle class that don't understand adversity let alone a billionaire son dude and that where you're just your family's probably dead and you're like your mind is like i'll go to this concert and then i'm gonna take a photo yeah and

then i'm gonna post it and people will get it and they will like it yeah they're totally gonna land and i'll have a smile on yeah you're like so crazy. Of all the things you could have done, this is the option. Okay, here we are. Okay, so he does have Asperger's. Okay, okay. Oh, he has the tism? I heard him talk and I was like, ah, but I just. He's also 36.

What? And he looks like that? That's crazy, dude. Ryan, 36. I'm 36. What the fuck? He's a That's crazy, dude. Ryan, 36. I'm 36. What the fuck? He's a billionaire. Oh, dude.

That's crazy. I also heard he was harassing. He DMs and harasses EDM female DJs or whatever. What's he saying? I don't know. He's in the DM saying some wild shit like, show me your butthole for $100 or whatever. Dude, I had a guy DM me and he was like, was like hey no offense but i really want to see your penis if i could pay no offense we've all had this right oh yeah and so which is cool like

dude honestly flattering if i was a gay guy i might send it like you know whatever it's like it's dude to dude can i see your bro yeah but he was like, I'll pay you. And that's not offensive in any way, shape, or form. But then he was like, what do you think? Like $25 a pick? What, son? My dick is way more. Oh, my God. That's crazy.

That's like high quality meat. Yeah, dude. That's like you're paying nothing at that point. That's like you're like, I don't know. It's rude. It's rude. Exactly. It's disrespectful. That's like you're like, I don't know. It's rude. It's rude. Exactly. Disrespectful. That's like $20 an inch. What? That makes no

sense. What? Why are we laughing? How big are your guys' dicks? What? I'd owe money. Wait, you want to pay me? Oh, fuck. I'm in in debt i'm in negative money bro damn my credit's going down oh my god here's my thing is sending my dick is like i can't i have tattoos near it so like there's no way for me to really send it without outing my like even your hands though you're at that point where you're like how do you hold your dick when you have

hand tattoos that's how riffraff got caught in a sex tape. People were like, hey, those are his hand tattoos holding that dick. So anyway, shout out riffraff. You rock. Yeah. Nice dick. Yeah, dude. Nice dick, bro.

For real. Nice cock. But I was like, here's the thing. If I wish people wanted to see my butthole, because I could get a photo. That could be anyone's butthole. You know, I could even Google someone else's butthole. And send it. Oh, my God. See, it's the thing. If I was a regular guy, I could get a photo that could be anyone's butthole. You know, I could even Google someone else's butthole and send it. Oh my God.

It's he is the thing. If I was a regular guy, I could Google someone else. I could just I could just Google nice white penis, you know, and then I would uncircumcised professional question mark. And then I would have a professional. Yeah, you know, you want you want a good one. Lighting's like trimmed off light. Yeah, you want to get a little edge light like a little rim light on. You wanted it faded out and all

perfectly done. You know, I don't want none of this like little wrongs. I treat in the back exactly dude. I don't want a Montana rush job as they say on a spiel. Your journey you're giving to this story. I don't want the super circumcision. I'm not trying. I'm trying to get there

in this cricket. Yeah dude, I'm not trying. I'm trying to get there in this cricket. Yeah, dude, I'm not trying to do that. Oh, we shit. So I'm as and then I send that photo and now I'm making money, you know, and then they out me what they're like. Oh, they're on, you know, Instagram, Shane sent my penis, look at it

or whatever, but it's like I'm got you got. I'm rich. That's not even my penis, bro, but now i can't stand my dick because people would be like oh yeah that's shane that's shane's dick hey that's his stupid oh is that darth vader on his hand and his penis yeah that's him right there i feel bad our buddy kings uh he's another streamer that i game with all the time we we did a charity event way back a couple years back and uh it was for his penis or we're getting to that part oh let's just calm down okay okay whoever was right it was like toys for tots we were raising money for kids and we're one of us was have to get a weird tattoo or something if one of us raised more that makes sense i raised

more than him so you had to get my logo which is my face tattooed on his hand no so he has my face like and it's the it's like it's like it's goku but his face it's my whole that's wild and he's right-handed no so he's coming harder than ever oh when he shoots up and rolls down it's just oh it's just sad it's like i'm crying oh my god that's how you doing baddie yeah it's right oh dude my favorite part of the the other best part of the story is he hates feet he's one of those guys that like oh my god disgust him god oh dude he has reverse foot fetish yes yeah so almost work i got way worse than foot fetish i tattooed on top of my ankle so whenever we're talking about it i have to get his ass how are you that weird about feet they're on you bro you have the feet man you got

everybody's got feet does his feet weird amount i don't know that dude i wish i was in a feed i'm actually wondering what makes you disgusted by feet because it's the same why are we discussing it's easily crossed with real it's right next to your sexual yeah yeah you know that yeah i do trust me i looked into it because i wanted to have a foot that is but it has to that wire has to cross and then you're just like i fucking want to come on them yeah dude i just text i'll ask them do you hate your own i don't have a foot fetish but i will say i've only i've been in love with a girl before when i was in love i was like all right i could see how i could be into your feet you know because your brain is making all the chemicals so but but it's not just the feet no no no it's like a whole i just like if she's got her feet with your elbow right now yeah yeah

yeah i'll put your foot in my mouth why fuck you let's go the whole thing just 9 000 on her foot while you're dude. We're not flossing her toes is what I'm getting at. That's a different level. That's the next level of Amazon. If she's fucking you and then she gets your foot in her mouth, dude. Am I dominating her now? I need you to suck my toes. That's the snoo-snoo.

Yeah, dude. Make it happen. That's the way to go. You're still not dominating. Your foot's in her mouth? Yeah, exactly. No, you're still. No, you're less dominating. No, I don't think so. Because she's sucking on your go. You're still not dominating. Your foot's in her mouth. Yeah, exactly. No, you're still, you're not, you're less dominating.

No, I don't think she's sucking on your toes while you're bent. But I like it. That's what I'm saying, dude. Why y'all judgmental? I thought unsub was unjudgmental. Yeah, dude. You guys just hating on my fucking dick skill. On my dick skill. That's right.

You got great dick skill, bro. Thank you. Tell your homies they got great dick skill. That's exactly, dude. Compliment your friend's penises wherever. The urinal at the podcast table. Wherever. And then also, you know, just gas up your man. Yeah, shoot him a text. Shoot

your buddies a text. Say, hey, nice dick. Thinking about it. Yeah, shoot him a text. Shoot your buddies a text. Say, hey, nice dick. Thinking about it. Yeah, dude. Just get that going right now. Everyone pause the podcast. Text your friend. Go, hey, bro.

I bet you have a nice dick. Yeah, nice dick, bro. I bet it's thick. Send it to your dad. Yeah, dude. Tell him. Hey, dad, I love my penis. So you're probably rocking something good. And I appreciate that. Dad, I'm in debt fuck what if your dad what if you texted your dad like i have a

nice dick and thank you for passing that down he goes you absolutely got your dick from your mother oh fuck he just sends one back yeah yeah dude he's like wasn't me bro that's on your mother's side mailman yeah i will say if you're gonna amazon you do want to be working with a little length you know you can't have you you can't you know you got a big amount is this like a slight like a little flex a little flex okay you guys have like one or two ladies that watch this, right? Gas up your own dick, bro. One or two. That is literally my podcast. I'm like, he DMs me every time we record.

He's like, hey, I love the bottom. Like, thank you for your support. We need you. You are the demographic. Yeah. There's just one YouTube. Yeah. It's just like that slice of the pie.

It's like one. Dude, my mother does the demographic that listens to the podcast is just like dudes who are into trains and guys who want to send me videos of their warhammer models straight up man. I just like do that. Yeah, dude, you're away. They have

trainedism trained. Yeah. Yeah. So they're like pretty high functioning, but they're weird, dude. But they like trains. They're way into trains. A lot. Yeah, yeah. Who's that TikTok guy that did the 360 cam?

Yeah, and he was super into it. I think he got a TV show, didn't he? Good for him, dude. He's British, right? Yeah. Yeah. That's actually not a 360 cam. That's just what they look like over there.

That's just a regular front-mounted camera. That's a realistic camera. Yeah, dude. That's just what Britishish people look like bro you didn't know i wondered if that guy had that camera he's like this is hilarious or he's like this is a cool i want to know he genuinely thought it was a cool angle because he wanted the whole train he's genuinely into train eyes are just like dude me i got way into asmr train videos are you the are you talking about your own demographic you know

i have a little bit of training okay first off i hate that i admit that i love trains growing up i built i built i built trains you you would have the uh you'd actually uh you'd have the bridges on these little little locomotive trains and you would add more carts so it would struggle getting up the hill and it would shoot sparks at the back so you have to crank it up and be like, just sparking.

That sounds so fun, dude. I literally am like, that sounds awesome, bro. That sounds so cool. I'm sorry, man. One of my cousins was obsessed with trains growing up. George, I'm sorry, bro. I thought it was the stupidest fucking thing in the world no way i don't you don't think if you came into a room and there

was a giant train set going around you wouldn't be like i gotta check all this out yeah i gotta see what's going on and you wait by one spot it could take two hours or you're gonna wait there for that like ting ting ting ting you're like fuck the cars are stopping and then those okay imagine a warhammer train yeah dude it's going around there's all orcs on it and shit it looks all cool that's the miniatures that got me not the train i don't give a fuck like what about a warhammer it's like shane that's just an amtrak with with orcs on it space marines you change nothing warhammer is just trains bro it's just trains for other types of dudes.

It's just a Warhammer train, bro. But yeah, the ASMR train videos, they're good. You watch it and it's just like a train that goes through Norway for eight hours. Wait, oh. Yeah. Why is it eight hours? Because that's how long the actual train ride takes. Do you watch the entire? Well, I mean, I have it on while I do other stuff.

Like most people listen to podcasts. Yeah, dude. I'm watching the train. And then there's this guy that he goes on like these so apparently it's legal what dude 2020 best train asmr 2022 you're putting on at the gym demographic is people like trains and like warhammer pictures i'm like that's all the specific it you, the guy who likes trains. Dude, I'm straight up. I'm on there.

You're reviewing this. I'm commenting on it. Yeah, dude. I'm like gassing him up. I'm like, keep coming, bro. I love you. Because not a lot of people are watching him. So I got to gass him up to like him.

Yo, skip to 4312. Fucking sick, bro. He goes over a bridge. Stay motivated. When you hit the swiss liner that one's gonna pop that's the video that goes viral that's the video that goes viral anyone else hold their breath at 12 46 when it went through a tunnel are you like i wonder if I can make it. Hold my breath.

I do make it a lot of the time. I'm very strong. I'm glad I'm not the only one that still does that as an adult. Yeah, dude. I'm like, Donald. Did it that? And then if I go over a cattle guard, I touch the ceiling every time, dude. Okay.

You know, in all fairness, because you two are fucking dumb. I love this. Yeah. I also, the other day, I literally had to admit to my girlfriend as we were walking out of Target, every time the automatic doors open, I still have to go. Yeah, dude. I still do the Jedi thing where I'm like, yeah, open the door. Yeah, Eddie.

And I have to like stop myself. I'm like, no, there's people. Oh, I think those are those things. It's like elevators. You're like, yeah, I open the door. And I feel like, stop myself. I'm like, no, there's people. Oh, I think those are those things. It's like elevators. You're like, stop lights. I'm like. Got it. Yeah, there we go.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like eight times. They're just guy things. We're just some silly, goofy guys, bro. You know what my favorite thing to do is? Is in New York, when the light goes green, the second it goes green, it just lay on your horn, bro.

Like, they're not going to ask you. Just trying to start a fight. Just fucking, they're like, what the hell? It just turned green, bro. You time it so that they're already in the goes. You're all on the horn, bro. And you're already, like, leaning out.

Yeah, yeah. They're confused. They met him. They don't even get mad. They're just like like what are you doing very funny you like this yeah man i love that it's a good move oh my god fucking trains huh yeah bro and then there's this dude who apparently in the united states it's legal you can buy and like refurbish an old train car and you're legally allowed to drive it on tracks like their

public domain somehow like you can't interfere with like uh amtrak and stuff but you are allowed to train around that's a real thing you can privately train around the united states and canada i think so people will refurbish like train cars from the 70s that are like casinos and shit from back in the day when trains were like the way. And you can pay to ride them. And like this dude. Wait, so if I own one, I just have to be able to communicate with other. You just communicate to the train people and then you can like make your own schedule and like train around. Yeah.

Just train around yeah just train around you can like refurbish an engine get like a casino car or like an unsub podcast car and then just train up to alaska and like travel around and like it's beautiful it's like a crazy adventure dude bro i know how to make shane shit himself like meet here he's just standing he like, this is a weird train station. I'm so scared. He's got a big pair of tits on the front. This is a huge track. Thomas the Train Engine. Fucking space

marines glued to the side. Life-size ones. Did I die? We have a podcast to film. Get in, buddy. It has titties more like Thomas the Crank Engine. Am I right, you guys? Woo! Woo!

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Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! Woo! myself, Batty Street, and Shades with our wonderful, powerful, strong, beautiful, just the best guest ever. I love you guys so much. Tell us where we can find you doing your thing and stuff. So I'm Shadowser online everywhere. You can find me. I'm mostly active on Instagram these days

because I'm trying to get off social media some more, bro. It's bad for your health. It's real bad. Except for when you watch us. That's great. And you should keep doing that.

Very good social media. And then I, ShaneSmithComedy.com. I'm touring right now. If you're listening to this and you're in England, I didn't mean any of the bad stuff I said about British people. I'm going to be touring there. It's going to be great.

I'm going to get in so much trouble for talking about the queen or the king or whoever. Dude, I'm going to go to Ireland. Shout out to the IRA. I love what you guys are up to. They're just like, how do we get this started off? I love your hats. i love your masks i like what your whole vibe people in england i didn't mean that's a real joke i'll see all of you in september and then i'm going to be in like minneapolis and in freaking vegas and portland

i'll be all over the place and but you have a podcast oh yeah i have a podcast i forgot i'm so busy doing your podcast i forgot my podcast i have a podcast. I forgot. I'm so busy doing your podcast. I forgot my podcast. Train ASMR. I have a podcast called Cowboy Boys. And it's just me and my friend. And it's just us talking about our penises a lot. In trains. Cowboy boys. A lot of train talk. Yeah, a lot of train talk.

And that's it, dude. Well, that's wonderful. Thank you for watching. Subscribe. We'll be on the after show where we're going to talk more about Shane's penis. See you on patreon okay bye