Unsubscribe Podcast - 116 - Brandon Commits Assault on Live TV ft. Brandon Herrera

Episode Date: July 29, 2023

HE DID IT, HE WON!!! ALSO BADDIE GOT LASIK EYE SURGERY!!!  GO FOLLOW @BrandonHerrera EVERYWHERE OR ELSE ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS!! GhostBed Right now GhostBed is offering 30% off everything if you use the code –UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or https://www.GhostBed.com/Unsubscribe Manscaped Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with the code UNSUB at https://www.manscaped.com/ 1stPhorm GO BUY 1st PHORM https://www.1stphorm.com/unsubscribe Honey Get PayPal Honey for FREE at https://www.JoinHoney.com/unsub. That’s Join Honey dot com slash unsub. ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW:  https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/  CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie-            @BaddieStreams   https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -Eli_Doubletap-             @EliDoubletap   https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by GVAN https://www.twitch.tv/gvan11b https://www.instagram.com/gvan11b/ https://twitter.com/GVAN_CC Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to Unsub 4:15 Brandon's Boxing Match 34:29 Baddie Got Lasik 52:54 Baddie Wants to Box 54:04 NEW MERCH 54:47 Brandon on Winning His Fight 58:01 Tiktok Fighters 1:05:32 Brandon's Opponent 1:09:50 Weigh Ins 1:13:59 Brandon's Training 1:24:56 Uber Drivers Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Hey, you beautiful people. Monday, July 31st, around 2 p.m. We will be doing a live Q&A for our Patreon people out there. So this is just a quick reminder. We're going to start rolling that out and also go check out Time for Pi Tuesday. Boo, boo, boo, boo. Discover the magic of BetMGM Casino, where the excitement is always on deck. Pull up a seat and check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer.

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the pansacola theater we are filming it come come whoa hey don't drink no of course whatever you want bro the numbers mason what do they mean what do they mean we can also talk about fucking sloppenheimer well oppenheimer i haven't seen it what it's been sold been sold out! Uh huh. Oh damn. We're probably gonna go again this week. I'm go- I thought we were waiting to see it with you! Did you see it without us? They went in the fight. We went.

We all went. Eli, why didn't you tell us? We've been waiting to plan to see it with you. I was- I'm going again with you guys. I wanna see 70. We didn't get to see 70. I don't give a fuck about 70. I do.

Everybody I've seen says it doesn't matter. It matters. Film people. What? What's up? It's not like a crazy sex scene in a popcorn room. It's an awkward sex scene. Did you see the- Everybody I've seen says it doesn't matter there are noters film people It's an awkward did you see that it was like what if Shody give dope head she give that bomb ass head calling her slopping It's racially ambiguous and batty. That guy's fucking ridiculous

and we don't know. Best not to ask yourself why but my friend you've arrived. Welcome to unsubscribe. Don't do that to your teeth, batty. Fucking teeth things only. Oh god. I just picture your teeth tripping off halfway The a.k.a. Daddy himself right here and Matt Matt

Who you are Matt what is that was I trained Brandon will be all trained Brandon, but we all A lot of time with our livers take a break not been great. Okay, wait to get back to our training Fucking speed bag your livers with alcohol. Ding, ding, ding. A liver's walking in. Because Eli's a bitch. Logan was speed bagging it in real life. First of all, he got it.

Oh, we didn't crack ours. Get fucked. Batty got the first form. You shield for me. It doesn't matter. It doesn't matter which one. Whatever one you want. Oh, man. Wow.

In three, two, one. Make this out. Which one Three two one make this up Feels good to be back drinking honestly after a day off This feels weird with you here drinking in front of you. It feels like I like I'm a kid doing something I'm not so no I wanted to have this drink. You earned this drink. Wait, hey, Brandon won his fight. Hey, that's what we start with. Our boy, cheers, everybody.

That was pretty great. That was pretty cool. Cheers to big Brandon with the fucking dub. Dub of the century, they're calling it. I don't think anybody's calling it that. I don't think anybody called it that. Tyson wants to fight you now. It's my dub of the century. No, I don't want to be calling it. Tyson wants to fight you now. It's my dub of the century. No, I don't want to be near Tyson.

He's scary. I was showing him videos of Tyson 15 years old. 15 years old? Dude looks like a 40-year-old man. He is like, at 15 years old, he looks like he's had a credit score for 10 years. That is a grown-ass fucking man. Have you seen him? I've seen a lot of videos of

young Tyson. I don't remember how I ended up down there, but he's just the most terrible. You see his neck? His neck. It's a tree trunk. Well, that was the UFC fighter that also fought the TikTok guy that quit halfway through. Alan Belcher. Wait, they put a UFC

fighter against the... UFC boxer and a bare knuckle fighter. Champion. Hold on, real quick. What did you fight in? There was a fight. Who put it on? What the fuck happened? Everybody should knows, but for all the idiots that live under

fucking rocks. Was it the Coliseum? It was... What's up? Yeah, the Coliseum. Gladiator style. The sand speunder absolutely man man dresses it was great Easy ties for life. Yeah, I did yours. I was his dick not tire was Imagine my face when I was told we didn't need one of those This weird is a public. It was a public changing room to Is it tight?

Didn't invite me to the after party after that Crazy no, but we was it was misfits. Oh wait, so it was run by like keemstar happy punch and the and DAZN, I think, because that's everybody that was there. And, man, it was a wild time. So I had six weeks basically to train for a pro boxing match. So not to be a pro boxer, but for a pro boxing match where it was four rounds, three-minute rounds, and no headgear, 10-ounce gloves, like the whole nine. A true pro boxing match, which is, again, the biggest thing to take away is Brandon had zero training up to that point. Yeah. We had barroom fights, and that's about it, right?

And whatever experience I thought I had, literally if I could give myself any advice for six weeks ago, it's write down everything you know about fighting and do the opposite of that because it's write down everything you know about fighting and do the opposite of that because it's faster forget it it's a weird mindset because every dude if you're a dude and you we're not allowed to fight yeah man i've watched dragon ball z that wasn't what i was i don't think anybody goes there well my brain does but is it crazy?

Like, Matt gets to see it. You've been a trainer for fucking years, and you grew up boxing. Yeah, it was a pretty gnarly experience because the fact that he came, you know, I was like, okay, he's having a fight. How long is it? When are you going to fight? And he's like, six weeks. And I was like, oh, shit.

Okay. All right, well, then we need to get to work now. Yeah. Because I was going in. I'm like, yeah, man, I'll put in as much time as you need. I think maybe we do three days a week. And you're like, no. No, absolutely not.

We need to be doing this six days a week, minimum. I was like, the first week, I was like, no, we need to do this five, six days a week. And next week, you're sparring. You need to know what that feels like in the ring it's I think I have the exact Texas same thing is yeah you we need to be sparring like now you come over I remember you being like he's like we got it he's gonna start fighting now because we just filmed hers right before filming he's like Brandon's got a fight and I'm like I knew it was gonna fucking happen damn man he basically goes he's like Brandon's got a fight and I'm like I knew it's gonna fucking happen

Damn, man. He basically goes like I just heard you took a fight and it's in five six weeks Whatever you're doing right now. You're not anymore come to my house Like that was the first thing where I was like watch and I was like get around a jab and it's that reality check It's like I don't know what to do Six time getting hit in the head, you're like, what am I supposed to do? I'm not learning anything. I'm just getting hit.

Yeah. But it went well. It went well. I think for the, I've never experienced that. Like I've never, you know, I was like, it's interesting that, you know, the whole YouTube streamer thing of boxing and all that stuff. But I was like, experience that from that five weeks. I was like, or six weeks. And I was like, it's interesting, the whole YouTube streamer thing of boxing and all that stuff. But I was like, experiencing that from that five weeks or six weeks, and I was like, okay, next week.

All right, it's getting a little better. All right, next week's getting a little better. All right, we got to double up on something. It just kept on going. But to be honest, it was a good experience. He grew every week. But that was, I mean, nods to him. He just put in the work.

To go from zero to pro fight, I realized afterward, I always thought, I knew six weeks was a crash course. But now I realize that six weeks is the crash course you take when you don't have time for the crash course. Like it is not even close. I think there was one time we were eating like two days before the fight. And like we were talking about technique or something like that and i just started laughing out loud at the restaurant i'm like eli i'm not

ready am i this was a mistake wasn't it it was clicking it was awesome to watch the growth uh the change like you lost you lost 14 pounds? 14 pounds from start to finish. 14 pounds, no drinking. His liver loved him. Then you had... Get fucked on. Go shit.

Go fuck yourself, liver. Just in case you thought I liked you. And then watching the stuff start, like, take effect, where I remember that last week it was oh brandon's two just became dangerous like it's one two his two it was i can move around oh just counter it was that last week of sparring where you threw that one two and like just breezed by me it was like nicked me i was like oh okay there that that's when it's scary because i couldn't read that one because it goes from like i telegraph punches to oh that came out of nowhere. I'm not sure.

Okay, now I have to be way more cognitive of Brandon's fist. Damn it. This sucks. Which, you know, in the ring, obviously the telegraphing started happening a lot more because, you know, you're in the moment, like literally just thinking of like, what's the next attack? Hey, buddy. Oh, not again.

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Get 20% off plus free shipping at manscaped.com with code UNSUB. That's 20% off plus free shipping with codecape.com with code unsub that's 20 off plus free shipping with code unsub over at manscape.com but we're going to check your boys boys for smooth sack summer touch those boys boys yo manscape yeah manscape your intros are they wrote this how go on to that how was it leading into that fight? Because it was like no nerves and then it's fight day. Then you're walking the fuck out. I had nerves. The moment I woke up on fight day was the first time I got really any nerves. I literally woke up in the hotel room.

Yes. But I woke up in the hotel room and like as soon as my eyes opened, I felt adrenaline. It was almost like it started pumping before I woke up that is like cocaine right I'm hitting the cocaine didn't know but no it's just kind of got your body clock but the natural yeah no that would have been a Tyson that said he did that on his last fight? I don't know. We're putting it past him. Oh, Tyson did a lot of cocaine. I know training up to Buster Douglas.

That Buster Douglas fight, he stopped giving a shit because he was a monster. So Buster Douglas, this dude had, I forget the odds on that. The betting odds were terrible. If you bet on Buster Douglas with a ko victor you made fucking bank that night because it was 99 to 1 buster douglas was gonna lose it was jesus yeah first two rounds three rounds it was like something like that yeah it was it was ridiculous like god tyson's gonna walk through this dude this guy's a fucking chump boom and then he upset the world in japan tokyo japan is where that fight happened everyone's like damn and then buster douglas lost that belt literally the next fight

i was like the highs of high i made it dog and i'm gone literally that was it but being able to say you beat tyson goddamn yeah but fighting like you were like adrenaline hits. You're starting to wrap those fucking gloves. I remember. I noticed it started. This hand started to fucking tremble a little bit. But honestly, I was still chill. Like I really wasn't freaking out or anything.

I've got it. We got a great picture of us just like smiling, like making jokes as I'm getting my hands wrapped. That's what you need. The final hand wrap takes like half an hour. I didn't realize that either. Yeah, it's exciting. Oh, yeah.

So you know how you do wraps, Batty? No. Well, fist wraps. No. I know. You've never seen boxing wraps? No. It takes 30 seconds.

You just wrap your hands. Oh, yeah. On box day, you actually have gauze wraps, which we were telling him. It's like, hey, this is going to be completely different because they gauze it. They tape it. They put the cushions. You've got to put the razor blades facing out. It was super. Yeah

Different shit in your hands. I genuinely don't know this. No, it's just guys pretty Oh, okay, guys got me like a cast. I mean a cast like not a hard cast Yeah, I was gonna say cat like a concrete like concrete You don't get that right laster plaster you dip it in plaster every layer there was another layer of like powdery substance they put on top

and then after it was strange very weird but yeah usually it takes just a quick just a cotton and you wrap it

boom and you're done fight day it switches and then from 16 ounce gloves you're going to 10 ounce so every less padding

yeah oh and when you're sparring you have headgear on 10 ounce gloves, no headgear. It's that whole new world. I, the best way I could put it is the first time I took a real hit in the

ring. Uh, it was the hardest, you know, cause of the, the 10 ounce gloves are different than no headgear is real fucking different. It's just getting beat over the side of the head by a 6'3 dude who weighs more than me

with fucking 10-ounce gloves and no headgear. For a millisecond, I saw TV static. Like, it wasn't like, you don't see, you know, fucking stars or anything, but it was just like, boom, as your optic nerve resets a little. You're like, whoa, okay, all right. That was not sparring. This is different. Damn. And. All right. That was not sparring. This is different. Damn.

And the speed movement. And this dude had fucking, my biggest thing. This is insanity to me. Dude had seven inch reach over Brandon. Yeah. Yeah. That's three dicks. Seven.

I was going to have to dick joke. I'm mad. I'm like, that's it. I was like, that seems excessive. That seems excessive, but. He had seven inches on me? Man, he had a 10-inch dick? Wow. Fuck.

Fuck you. Check it out. It's crazy. For fighting, Matt can explain. Seven inches is usually different weight classes by yeah a huge difference like yeah it's especially if you know how to use seven inches i don't there's one thing this podcast and our entire audience uh knows is not how to use seven inches i'm good with seven inchesinch for about 5 seconds.

Then it's gone after that. No, the 7-inch reach is huge. If they don't know how to use a jet... It's not going away. It's not going away. I'm trying. We do an infograph with your fist and just add a dick.

Literally. It's a big problem. It's a big problem. It's a big problem. Just a veiny one. Just the silhouette. Seven inches. Honestly, because that seven inch reach difference really

became known in the first round. It was like, it's all about, you know, you're smaller, get in the inside. Just get into the inside. But the was like, it's all about, you know what? You're smaller. Get in the inside. Just get into the inside. It's like, yeah. But the problem is there's a guy who's five inches taller than me and pretty good shape trying to kill me in the middle of that. I've got to go through no man's land to get to that inside.

So that's a commitment. Yes, a scary commitment. So you get in the ring. Bucket. Boom, boom, boom. We're all cheering for you. We're scrambling last minute. So you get in the ring. We're all cheering for you. We're scrambling last minute. Nico, shut the fuck up.

Nico's screaming at the top of his lungs. Brandon has the heavy coat on. We're scrambling, running around getting everything ready for that last thing. I brought him snack packs. I'm so fucking mad I missed it. Damn, man. I gotta watch this. That was good. But yeah, walking out. Actually getting into the ring, I don't remember.

Really? No. I don't remember. Like, the actual, like, getting in the ring and, like, prepping, like, before that, like, I don't, I was, I think I was just focusing on, like, breathing, keeping nerves down, which. You got a little bit of CTE already. Oh, no.

He's already punched, bro. Yeah, there you go. I don't remember the second grade anymore. So that's interesting. I wish I didn't. But no, the, uh,

like the first round really, again, was like feeling it out and realizing how much of a difficulty that's going to be getting to the inside. And, uh, that's when I realized I was over breathing like crazy. Cause I was trying to focus on breathing.

But the adrenaline was so high. I was breathing too much. And so like I was having to be perfectly honest. It's very easy to see in the recap in the corner after round one. I'm having a panic attack trying to breathe because I was trying to take deep breaths like he was instructing me. And I could only get like three quarter lung capacity. Damn. And I was like, like well that's not good and now i need to chill out because i'm not i can't go into round two like freaking out but after that it went a lot smoother because then i knew what to expect yeah so real quick matt normally when you're prepping for a fight like this would you have

sparring since you were like time with 10 ounce gloves and stuff or or was that like how does no we didn't we didn't like for sparring you you always use 16 ounce gloves because they safety and all that stuff and headgear all that stuff so it's like you can't like because i think brandon asked me about that too i was like can we put 10 ounce guys like no we're not gonna do that i was like i know i see why yeah that's what I'm saying. Just because, I mean, you want to work on the things that you're trying to work on and be as safe as possible. So you use a 16-ounce, you use a headgear and all that. Vaseline, make sure you're not getting burned or cut up. But yeah, that part of it, you can't so much prep for

unless you've done it, like in the amateurs or something. Because in amateurs, you use 10-ounce clothes, but you have headgear. So it's just a little different that way. My thinking when I was asking about that was I didn't want the first time I'd ever been hit with 10 ounce gloves to be in a ring on camera.

That's what I'm thinking. I was like man I'd like to know what it's like. With the adrenaline honestly like you're there man it either knocks you out or it doesn't so and if it doesn't you're there yeah i didn't i didn't realize that all the shit that would was going to hurt the day after really because yeah the adrenaline high and everything i didn't notice like my back's fucked up now still i didn't notice that until after i was out of the ring

at all is that body is that it's combat high, and then you did adrenaline dump, and you're like, oh, I won, but my body didn't. I mean, I looked like a fucking cripple walking out of that fucking thing. No, I literally couldn't walk right. And it was going in from round one to two. That was, as he was saying, it was breathing. Brandon's looking around. I'm like, open your mouth.

I had to scoop the mouthpiece out. We're just doing that. Now, our corner, if you watch both corners on how fast we're doing shit versus the other team, Brandon was already sitting down, ice mouthpiece out by the time his guy was putting the chair down. You guys were like a fucking

NASCAR pit crew. Oil changes. Oil changes, yeah. Milkingon real quick quick milk drop you're good i'm tired i'm sleeping now okay that's fine but then it clicked and you could watch it uh click especially on that second break though that's when you were ah yeah second second uh corner was completely different i could you know hear what you guys were saying now like i was i was

focused on taking back information um because now and then then i wanted the critiques then i was like all right i've got this now what do i need to fucking do like that that i was i was fully back round end of round one was different that was not not good. I was not in control. It's like a drum and dump. Yeah. That drum and dump just gets you. It nerves everything. It's your first time. You're like, fuck.

And it was crazy watching a lot of the other fighters not showing up to the gym. Because we landed and we were at the gym that night. The next day, the next day. It was up until fight day. Gym. And then day of, went to the the ring we walked around the ring we boxed around the ring we came up with a game plan in the ring on movement in the ring and because that was crazy the ring was smaller than we thought it was smaller than what we practiced

in look it looks small so it was a titan like a full it's a pro ring 20 or 16 it's like 20 to 22 i believe something like that this one was like fucking 15. It might have been an 18. No, this one was like 16 is at our gym, right? I think it's 18. This one was like a 14 or a 16. It was crazy. Bro, when you got it, I was like, huh.

I guess you ain't going anywhere. Well, that's like to make the fight. They want to make a fight so you don't have space to move into. I was thinking about when I watched the first round, I was like, did you touch gloves? I did. I wasn't expecting to, but he held them out. Damn it. That's what I was thinking.

I wasn't just going to hit the fucking guy. He held them out, and I'm like, God damn it. We planned the opposite of this. Brandon's like, kill. The fucking announcer on DAZN even said that. Like, I don't think Herrera wanted anything to do with that glove touch. I know, because we trained for the opposite of that. I was like, oh, man. Okay, cool.

Well, you were going in expecting to fight a piece of shit, too. How many times the fight changed? That's something. Good point, Matty. Literally, yeah. Piece of shit dropped dropped and then another piece of shit dropped yeah one at least i wasn't like training to fight and then but then there was action man uh who was that was the one i was actually training to fight but you know what did i drink that too i will say i am i am fucking glad it was james yeah i'm really glad it was James, because this was, in my opinion, the perfect way this fight could have gone. This fight being a faction man, I don't really take pride in that.

It's right in being in the ring. Yeah, he's tall. I would have taken pride in you beating the shit out of him. He's tall, but he's not in shape, and he's not like an actual opponent. Whereas James, still same height. He had five inches height on me. He had more weight on me. He was heavier.

What was the weight difference, if you know what I'm asking? Because I know around where you were trying to fight. Seven-inch pounds. No shit? Okay. So he was still on the heavier side. So just shy 200? Yeah, especially fight day.

He weighed in at 94, and you at 92? What was it? Oh, 89. Did you weigh in at 89? Yeah, 189. He weighed out 193, and then he gained all his weight back. When they walked back in, he was at like 198 already in a couple hours. Brandon's like, what the fuck?

I was like, hydration makes a huge difference. I didn't even really have to dehydrate. No. I was just 189. Just woke up sexy. That's good. Oh, he woke up. But what I was saying is with all those stats, with the seven-inch reach advantage, with the weight on me, the height on me, all that,

the only fucking way I was going to beat james is that extra training that i had like so i had if i didn't learn anything in there i would have lost because everything was against me yeah so it was it was good this was like the final test and that's why it felt really good hey eli how'd you sleep last night after uh drinking all that so good you know why why ghost bed every mattress has a 20-year warranty sometimes 25 and you can try it out for 101 nights if you don't like it you can send it back no hard feelings after a long day of podcasting one of my favorite things about ghost bed pillows and mattresses is the cooling technology built into them to keep us nice and cool after a long day here in the texas heat ghost bed pillows and mattresses is the cooling technology built into them to keep us nice and cool after a long

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That's GhostBbed.com. Code unsubscribe. Unsubscribe and get 30% off of everything. Ghostbed. He threw some good little punches in the first couple rounds. I was like, oh, shit. I am painfully aware. Actually, he knocked my jaw out of alignment.

I didn't realize that until, well, I realized it,. I didn't realize that until... Well, I realized it, but I didn't realize to what degree until later. But he hit me right here. I already had TMJ, so I couldn't chew that night because my jaw was out. Nice! It was crazy. Still, my favorite moment is... Well, your cardio, how much that changed.

Because you used to get winded after, like, one round. You'd be dead to the world. Hands dropped. You'd be walking away like, I don't want to do this no more. I mean, that third round, because that's when I really fully, I watched some of the minutes. I missed almost the entire second round because I was out at the time. And I was trying to still, you know, keep up. And the third round, the difference between your hands being up versus his hands, the amount of times he'd be like,

okay, just swinging them. It felt like, so like, cause kudos to you, man. Like you really fucking stepped up there. It was,

uh, yeah. Cause the, the cardio, it was funny to listen to the announcers. They're like, uh, they were saying that I looked gas in round one.

Like I wasn't, I was just freaking out. It's like, I could have gone another round or two, cardio-wise. Maybe not head-wise, but cardio-wise I could have done it. Because that's what we trained for. We started training for four or five rounds. We did six the last day?

Yeah, six or seven. I mean, moving around more so, but the first four were sparring. And then moving around more, three or, but the first four were sparring and then moving around more three or four, maybe an extra. And then burning out for shoulders. It would just be like burnout. Hey, we're going to burn out.

We got to burn out punching weights or whatever it was. Yeah. And then the, uh, for the, for the unsub audience, the, uh,

I got in the fucking Henry Cavill arm reload. You got a fucking, I got in there. I fucking got it in. And somebody, somebody on the unsub, uh, Got in the fucking Henry Cavill arm reload you got a Fucking got it in and somebody somebody on the unsub subreddit You've reloaded g-band put it up Put it up if you see brandon like and i made the conscious decision i'm like we've got distance we've got distance and i think this is going well yes i do remember you doing that i was like is that a thing is he cramping is he jacking off a ghost? I'm so fucking proud of you, bro. Two of them. Skiing. I get it.

Professional. And then Matt, what you don't. So that last three days at that new gym, it was music. Music city boxing. Music city. I know where you're going. Oh, dude, this is my favorite moment. And it is what probably won that fight.

It was Brandon realizing on his own. I was like, hey, we're doing like we're trying to still get the bob and weave down and slipping. And watching a body, I was like, huh. And they had a pendulum. They had pendulums. So it was weighted pendulums. Which pendulum, you just go here, and it's just head movement. You're just practicing your head movement.

Trying to get off. Just slightly offline. It's not that big. Your goal is to just watch peripherals. To get rid of those seven inches yeah exactly move your head to get rid of that mic by bobbing your head and weave don't bob don't just bob weave dude so he's like boom and he started actually looking proper like like using the legs, moving at the waist, doing everything like that. And walk away, come back, and he's like, oh, my God, Eli can punch offline now. This is crazy.

I'm like, I can now start to, like, throw punches while I'm getting offline. And it was just kind of that, like, huh, save that for later. And then that's what ended up, that was the winning jab. I was going to say, yeah, because you both had kind of swung and you were just off and he was like right in the middle and round two to three that's what i kept every time he would jab james would jab brandon would just go offline and fucking jab two and it would just his and his brands would connect and that seven inches didn't matter it was the the equalizer and then brandon became that dude in mortal kombat just sweeps the entire time

Yeah, because that was because it was like fuck every time he throws that not because he's moving forward So to get rid of that seven inches He's moving forward. I could be called Brandon seven inches But I could move in to as he was moving in because I was slipping it and then hitting him there So it was kind of it like would graze off of me It's like obviously I was getting hit a lot on this side, but like it would graze off and I was thinking okay I'm getting hit but he's getting hurt So that was kind of what was going through my head there

I'm like, okay, I can keep doing this and every time he's gonna throw this jab. I'm gonna hit him Yeah, and so he's really to want to stop throwing that jab. He's like, his incentive to keep punching goes down. It feels like when you were fighting Spar with Eli, and you'd do something wrong, and he'd punch you in the face. Yeah, exactly like that. You were with Eli for a minute. Yeah, there you go.

Better hair. It's kind of like the Loki, like, see, that's how it feels. He's glaring at me while you're doing it. I'm like, what? Don't look at me. Look at him. I'm still the most thing I'm pissed at.

And so disappointed is we stressed Brandon jabs, measuring device. You'll never win with a jab. You're not going to knock. You'll win with a jab, but not knock anyone out. This motherfucker goes and does the impossible. I cannot remember

and it wasn't intentional like i wasn't trying to spite you guys but it was like i can consciously flash back to all the times during training that i heard you're never going to knock someone out with a jab it's just a measuring stick yep it's just a measuring stick i was hoping that too was coming behind it after you do that see it was because it was you could see in the slow-mo like it was loaded it was down here which i know it shouldn't threw that jab. See, it was. Because you could see in the slow-mo, it was loaded. It was down here, which I know it shouldn't have been, technically. But it was down here because I was trying to do this because it was going to be a jab through and then come over, like overhand right with the two.

And then it was down. And then I saw him stagger and go down. I'm like, okay. I should have hit him anyways. Well, that's typically frowned upon. And then you just heal. Every time we would stagger, we had to code word kill. Yeah.

That's when any time in the fight, if you watch, Brandon just walked towards the guy. Code word. I wonder what it means. Brandon would go like this and just walk towards the guy. It was awesome. Fucker, kill him, Brandon. Kill, kill, kill. Twist his dick off. Just walk towards There was one part where I think was that that fucking right hook after I blocked the one Mm-hmm. I blocked blocked a punch and then just hit him in the second round, right?

Yeah, you're like fuck. Yeah do that again I could hear it. You were just like, fuck. The amount of clips I saw of Eli when you fucking knock his dude out. You know, him just be like. I was an autistic. I just crossed his shit. The autistic proud father. Stimming so hard. Like, you did it, son.

You did it. Like, it was the jumping and everything. I watched that wide angle that's on YouTube. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where I just see your reactions were better than anything else. Batty, that wide angle, you see this. It's just me like... I barely stand.

I sit back down. Ten seconds later, Brandon does some... I put my hands up like this and I go back down. I'm like, oh, I am autistic. Were they telling you something in the corner? Like, hey, sit down. You need to sit down? No, I was just like, that was Eli just like going to stand up and then going back down.

He's like, watch your son look at cars. Usually referees are like, sit down, stay in your seat. I stay in my seat. I want to stand all the way up. I'm just literally going to stand up and then come back down. So I was like, you are on the edge of your seat. I stayed in my seat. I want to stand all the way up. I'm just literally going to sit up with you and then come back down. So I was like, you are on the edge of your seat. Actually,

it was like, I was watching. I was so proud. God damn, man. Fuck yeah, dude. Well,

congratulations again. That's, that's pretty fucking crazy. It was fun. This is just a, what a weird random side quest to come out of nowhere. Especially on that short of a notice. And now you have a pro boxing record.

It's one of those things that's like technically a hundred percent correct, but still feels like a lie. It's like, I have an undefeated pro boxing record right now. You do. You are Mayweather. Pretty much Mayweather. It is such,

it is such a fucking stretch. It's fucking crazy. Call him out. You know, it's fucking funny. So. It is such a fucking stretch You know, it's fucking funny so I owe you a huge fucking thanks I got LASIK eye surgery because of you what so a few weeks back when you would buy your glasses off Wanted to talk to you about this after your fight because because it was after I got LASIK and everything. I just had LASIK eye surgery last week. It's been one week now. I hate that. It makes me feel like I'm blurry again.

I hate it. It's like trauma. When you first announced your fight, or before we even talked about it on Unsub actually, Eli and I were talking about it. I was like, yeah, man. I was like, man, I remember when we were always boxing in Matt's gym. That shit was tons of fun.

And I was like, I just can't ever do that shit because I have glasses. And like without glasses, it wasn't like things are blurry. It's like, I'm blind. I couldn't see my outstretched hand. So like that was just never a thing. And me and Eli joked about,

man, it'd be crazy if I had LASIK. And then literally that day I went home and I googled you know talking with tay i googled lasik surgery places in san antonio no shit so that was the catalyst that was it was just like i've always i i was told does that mean you're fighting next i mean i'd love to really absolutely i already talked about it he was like oh shit right now it just he can't get hit in the face for like two it's gonna be a little bit which one did you get though there's a there's two no just regular LASIK. There's a bunch.

There's PRK, there's Smile, there's LASIK, and there's one other kind. PRK, usually, I think fighters get. I don't know why. PRK is a little more intensive. They really fucking scrub your eyeballs with that shit. Yeah, it was just like I needed

something. I was told years ago, 10 years ago, I was still in the military and I was doing sniper shit and they're like yeah i'm gonna get lasik fuck it they told me i didn't qualify and i couldn't afford it even if i wanted to qualify 10 years fucking later or nine years later and like they're like no you're a perfect candidate i'm like this is crazy and the military lied what what and that was from the day i googled it to actual you know going in was six days which is fucking insane to say like it was like 10 minutes bro well it was it was six days that was my like see if i could qualify and that day they're like yeah you're fine uh do you want to do your pre-op right now and i'm like yeah so we did my pre-op to confirm i could do surgery all this and that

and then five days later or no yeah five days later i had i had lazy guy surgery so a two-week fucking window you know i i joked with being like i'd love to do i'd love to do it but the real push was fucking brandon's fight and me being like damn i miss doing that shit and what you know talking to eli about boxing and stuff like might as well get it done and now you can say bro mostly like things are a little blurry at distance but it's it's coming it's getting better it's like a one month total process but like the surgery itself was fucking insane just because it's like dead space right the needles going like it's like dead space or a clockwork orange. Yeah, it's that. No, it's...

There's no needles. There's no like crazy shit. Bro, it's... Oh, it's changed. It is unbelievably different. It took seven minutes. Do they do that? Flap?

Do they... Kind of, yeah. It's a seven minute, the entire thing. From laying on the table... I've seen them happen. ...to sitting up and being able to see fine, seven minutes. What do they do? So, first thing, they... Like a half an hour before your appointment,

they put some drops in your eyes that just numb your fucking eyes because it turns out the only part of your eye that can feel anything is the outside. Inside, there's no blood vessels. There's no pain, no nothing. That's how they can do all the crazy other surgeries. So I had those drops in. They give you a valium to chill. Just be like Because

They're not with your eyeballs a lot of people Didn't stress me out. I've been wearing contacts. I fucked With my eyes so many times doesn't the Valium. Yeah 100% Turns out I didn't I learned this Gingers Like I know it sounds weird as a ginger I am less susceptible for Valium and stuff to

Work you need to take higher doses mine Didn't affect me much they like I took one I was like i don't know uh you got a little ginger in you i did probably you want a little ginger in you seven inches damn it it's coming so do they do they do the fucking so we'll get there we'll get there no the volume i lay on the they walk you first of all i went to the place called Parker's. The entire building filled with glass. The walls are glass. Everything's glass. So first of all, fuck you guys.

Okay, real quick. Blind people in glass. They do nose prints on glass near doors because the doors were glass. They really were like, thought this out. It was a beautiful facility they're all no glasses but i like take my glasses off i'm like i could walk into any of these fucking walls or windows and i'm just gonna thump that's the point they have to prove to you you need it so even more

so feeling around took the drops they put you in the first machine and it puts like this little device like it the first machine they put a little piece of like medical tape over one eye and they say, look at a little laser. It looks just like a regular eye doctor appointment. You're looking at a laser. You're just laying on a table and it's all machines and shit at this point, really. And they set a little thing on your eye for like 15 seconds. And this, I guess, technically was the incision.

You don't feel it. There's no needles. There's no hands cutting. There's nothing. it's just like this little thing that sits on your i have a video of the entire thing too which we can check out um and it just i feel what it did is it gave like a little twist and then cut your eye and then they put it then you're done they're like you can blink you can do whatever you want you know they put the tape over that eye they go to the other i do the same thing that's just like this, it rotates. That's what it felt like to me. I haven't watched the video.

I've been waiting to watch it. It just made me think about Loki and Avengers. You don't feel, there's no pressure. There's no, like, I cannot, like, there is zero pain. Not like a little bit, not a little uncomfortable. There is zero pain. It is unbelievable.

We'll put up the video right here Jeeva just put dead space And you have to control the eye right in the middle Oh my god, it's fucked up bro And your guy is you just have to make sure that I stays middle So you're fighting it if If you mess up, the needle goes brrrr and you're dead. You die. I'm just thinking like the Johnny Bravo when you're talking about the video.

I'm like, I'm sickened but curious. Today's episode is sponsored by Honey, an easy way to save while shopping on your iPhone or computer. Not with the bear seat. Thanks to Honey, manually searching for coupon codes is a thing of the past. Honey is the free shopping tool that scours the internet to find the best promo codes for the items in your cart. Does it feel like you're getting a free treat? When you're at checkout, the Honey button appears

and you have to click apply coupons, wait a few seconds, and then all your discounts get added on. That makes me excited, like Pooh Bear when he sees Honey. Pooh Bear use this. Also, did you know honey doesn't only just work on your desktop? It works on your iPhone too. Just activate it on Safari and you're good to go. If you don't have honey, you're really missing out. Head over to joinhoney.com slash unsub.

Did you know bears don't live in the Safari? If you don't already have honey, you could be straight up missing out. And by getting it, you'll be doing yourself a solid and supporting the podcast get paypal honey for free at join honey.com slash unsub that's join honey.com slash unsub they do that real quick that entire process takes like maybe a minute so like you're only holding your eye open for like 30 seconds everyone always is like oh i'm so worried about being able to hold my eye open because lasers and needles are like none of that shit matters. They didn't tape it? No.

You had to hold it? No. You just look. You ever go to the eye doctor and say, hey, look at the light? That's all it is because right now there's nothing crazy happening. They're just like, boop, and then they're done. It's there. And it's just a quick thing.

It's so easy to look at this light. I promise. It was unbelievable. I was surprised. Having lots of experience staring at the sun, this was easy for you. Absolutely. I've been doing it my whole life.

That explains the entire need for this operation. I just picture Batty's dad watching him as a five-year-old. He's retarded. You're just looking at him playing in the yard. Stop looking at the sun! Slap! Playing in the yard, staring at the sun,

like, you know, college isn't for everyone. And after that machine which is only like a minute to two minutes they stand you up you just you climb off the machine they stand you up you can blink everything's fine things are a little blurry because your eyes are like you know they're numbing and they stand you up they walk you to the other machine which is five feet away which again fuck you guys it's on like a three inch lip so you're blind full of glass walls and now you're making me step without being able to see the step and i made that joke literally mid-town it's like oh you're gonna make the blind guy trip thanks as i sit down on the next table and this is like the actual operation table which is in this glass bubble of a room where everybody's watching they got it on like a 78 inch tv in the hallway so everybody can watch it.

Oh, that's wild. And they lay down. Everybody's judging your eyeball. Yeah, pretty much. They lay down and they just quickly go, okay, here we go. We're going to put a little thing on your eye. And it just goes boop and just holds your eyelid open. Clockwork orange kind of.

Not that bad, but yeah. And there's three lasers you're looking at, like one in the middle and two on the side. You just look at the middle one. And this laser scans your eyeball 900 times per second. So it can do the surgery while your eye's moving. So that's why it doesn't matter. Oh, that's wild. Is it AI-based?

I don't, it's actually, no, it's military. It's military tracking. It's from some kind of missile from the 2000s. Like, no joke. It's the same kind of tech. Probably like a tomahawk for the tracking. It's from some kind of missile from the 2000s. Like, no joke. It's the same kind of tech. Probably like a tomahawk for the tracking. Patriot missile. Yeah, Patriot missile program.

Yeah. It's because the same tech. I don't remember who. I was talking to somebody about this the other day. But it's the same fucking tech. Because they're tracking objects. Exactly. They're tracking other missiles.

It's like anti-missile, like the mid-air shit. So real quick, though. The only bad part. The missile always knows where it bad part that the missile always knows where it is because the missile knows where it isn't at any point i love the complete like how doctors minds work or scientists are like we can do good we can also murder the fuck out of people speaking of which oppenheimer oh my god good tie. I know. But like the only real bad part about the surgery is at one point, right when you land the new table, they cover one eye and they put the thing on.

They just go whoop. And it feels just like a quick brush across your eye. That's them lifting the flap. Yeah. Yeah. You don't feel it. There's no feeling. And then you look at the lights.

Yeah. The flap. Do you have any other fucking word for it? It's a flap. It's a flap, bro. There's no, it's, they flip, they're flapping your eyeball. I don't know. And then you look at the lights Any other fucking word It's a flat brawl. There's no that's they flip they're flapping your eyeball And it takes about 45 seconds They count down from 15 basically and it's just like a and then they're like alright. You're done they go So they move your eye labia out of the way yeah

They open it spread them eye flaps girl I love your Whispering eye The whispering eye And Yeah it's done There was no pain the whole time You don't feel the laser you don't know what's happening It just looks like you're looking at a couple lights

It makes me want to blink I keep on wanting to blink You got some fat eye flaps Welcome to unsung if you're not uncomfortable we're not doing our job thanks for having me guys and yeah dude it took maybe three minutes on that machine like 45 seconds per eye then a quick tape tape on either eye and uh the moment it's done like your eyes crazy thing about your your eyes they heal instantly basically there's stem cells in your eyes. So they put some steroid drops in real quick and your eyes are already starting to heal.

So that flap, you don't need like stitches. There's no gauze, nothing. What is the strongest muscle in your body? Is it Google that? I'm not sure. I think I'm going to agree.

I've got it. So confidently. I'm like, it is the strongest muscle other than the bullshit one that we all flex frequently. Which one? The seven inch one? We flex it frequently? I do all the time.

I'm flexing it now. There's nothing you can do to stop me. Oh, no. People watching the video right now are probably like, oh, yeah, I can flex my penis. What's weird, though though is i found this out and this bothered me ever since uh i forget who i had this conversation with you're i don't know if this is going to eyes or dicks your dick is not a muscle in fact there's very little muscle in it it's like it's capital it's cartilage yeah cartilage and cat yeah it's like it's actually

really fucking spongy and tough and like if you look at... I would recommend a textbook cutaway. Don't look at what's... Not pain Olympic style, but if you look at the cutaway to it, it's like yellowy, spongy cartilage and shit. And I'm just so uncomfortable by that now. Because we were talking about eating dicks for survival. Like if you were in a Donner party situation.

The dick would be a very actually shitty part to eat. I'm upset, but at the same time, I know our friends. No, it makes sense. This is such a normal conversation. You really wouldn't want to eat that. It's so gristly. It's so gristly.

Mine's overcooked. I feel like a thigh would be a much better choice. I don't know. With a bunch of meat on it. I don't know. That would be active. The back straps, I think. So the eye laser is that and i sit up and i can see instantly it's just done you can just see your eyes are a little fuzzy and watery but like you i could like read and shit that day that literally the moment it's done right now i sat up off the table i always thought they try to like

you know. That's what I thought too. Batty was like, bro, I dropped a pencil that day. I was like, how is it? He's like, I dropped a pencil, reached down and grabbed it. He's like, never been able to do it before. It was just like, did you see better after the surgery than before immediately? Immediately. No shit.

That's mine. That'd be so weird. You're like all of a sudden. I saw better than obviously without glasses. I wasn't too like where i was with glasses right after the surgery that's what i was yeah that's what i was asking um but it was damn close it was more like my eyes are a little tired kind of a feeling and they're really watery and it felt like you had like like a little bit of sand in your eye i guess is the worst i've

heard that it was a little uncomfortable it wasn't bad by any means you take like a two-hour nap you put these like fucking drops in. You wake up and you're just like, I'm good. How many days ago was this? That was last Monday. It's been. So seven days. Seven days.

Yeah. I mean, I was driving the next day. Well, I believe you would do that whether it was a good idea or not. True. Yeah. They make you wear these goggles. Driving. I'm like, I'm good guys.

No, you just throw on like this little, they look like small ski goggles. There's no tinting. Regular LASIK isn't like what you expect with like the big goggles and the glasses. You look like you had the fucking 80-year-old woman glasses, the ski glasses. No. Are you going to have them? No, it's ski glasses. Yeah, but there's no tinting.

They look like, remember in basic training, the shitty. BCGs. No. Birth control glasses? No. And let me finish. You said basic. There's only one pair.

You know the fucking shitty goggles they give you? Oh, yeah. They're like, they look like ski goggles, but they're clear and they're very thin. It's like science lab. Yes. Yes. Science lab glasses. Science lab glasses.

You wear those for the drive home, and you only have to wear them at night when you're sleeping because when we're sleeping, we're basically infants, and we're going to rub our eyes, and that's it. The next day, I don't have to wear them. You put on the infant little mitts and whatnot. Literally, you don't want to fuck your eyes up because they're healing. You don't want to rub your flaps.

You don't want to rub your flaps while you sleep. You didn't get goggles at Basic? That's what I was like. What's bad? Oh, you're old. I forget. Yeah, we had K-pots. Yeah.

I don't know. I didn't. I just realized. I was like, wait. Yeah, no, we had goggles. It was part of our ACU kit. Also, speaking of uncomfortable, also with dicks, the capillaries. Do you know how with boner pills they go, hey, like if you have a boner. You know how with boner pills they go, hey. if you have a bone you know how with boner pills

they go hey no i don't mind what the fuck does that mean if you have a boner for long lasting longer than six hours make sure you call a doctor consult the guinness book of world records do you know how they that statement stands if you have it lasted erection lasting longer than x amount the reason is huh priap Oh, you know what that is? Like the blood, how it doesn't drain out? That one, if you want a fucked up video, watch how they have to fix that one. I've never seen the video.

I've heard it described. It's a terrible description. It tells you to do a thing, don't do it. It literally, your blood starts to coagulate. Because basically the way you're... You went too far. No, no. On a Navy ship, starts to coagulate because basically the way you're... You went too far. I told you. Right there. No, no. Stop. No, no. I'm too slow.

On a Navy ship, they have different compartmentalization, so if you take damage to something, they can shut a valve off or whatever, and they've blocked off water in this part of the ship, right? That's basically how your dick does that. That's how you get an erection normally. Brandon, you've explained that a couple times, too.

What? I wouldn't have thought of that at all. Oh no, I just thought about that right now. So that's how your dick just keeps trapped in blood. We think about dicks a lot, right? It's okay. It's a thing we do. If it keeps it there for too long,

they literally have to take a syringe and pull out the jello chunks of blood. Oh, you know, I have heard that. I'm sorry. It's not described like that. I'm sorry. It's not described like that. I'm sorry. Is there a spider in the Amazon that causes cryopism? Yeah, literally a spider will just give you a heart on

and then it doesn't go away. It'll bite you anywhere, but it makes your dick do that. Is that where they get the dick pills from? No. That'd be hilarious. It's like a little bit of toxin will like make it super hard. Blue chew spiders jump out.

Ow! Ow! Ow! You just open the package and the spiders start crawling up. You're like, ah! Ow!

Man, that dick is hard. It comes with a needle. Literally got chewed. That's the last time I take fucking 18 Benadryls before opening a pack of Bluetooth. Spiders! I'm so sleepy.

It's a new sponsor. It's a new unsub shirt. The hat man makes me hard. So I got LASIK. There we go. That's the whole story. Spiders. So thanks, Parkers, for fixing my eyeballs.

That was cool. That was amazing. I can see. Just life- um crazy now i can we can't talk about i know are you gonna you're gonna take up the fucking fisticuffs the sweet science i want to get punched by eli more if i will not get punched by i want i want a chance to punch eli back. Oh, okay. You have to work for it. In my experience. The last time I fought, I boxed with Matt and Eli and everybody was blind. I had no glasses.

I'm excited to see what it's like to be able to see when he's punching. I didn't notice how bad my teeth is. You've turned off your targeting computer. What's wrong? But you were going orthodox for him. Yeah, that was the weirdest thing. It was orthodox. Because he was fighting going orthodox for him. Yeah, that was the weirdest thing. It was orthodox. Because he was fighting an orthodox.

Do you not fight an orthodox? No, I'm a southpaw. You fucking weirdo, dude. Why are you like this? I have no idea. But it was... I don't know. Why are you the way you are?

I know why. But that was... We all know why. That was a good moment. You have an association of America. If you have a charity foundation. Tax write-off. We need to make that shirt.

Do the shit. Speaking of shirts. Oh, yeah. We have a new shirt. It's too hot for me to be sober. And we also have Fueled by Caffeine and Oppression. You can get them over at Bunker Branding. Oppression?

Caffeine and Oppression. Base. Deepression. Super base. Super base. Batty's like, I can't wear this. We have a new shirt we got to make. Batty's like, I can't wear this.

He's getting a little reiki in here. Getting a little reiki. It. Getting a little reiki. It's podcasting, my love. Welcome to the club, pal. God damn it. Fuck, what was I about to say? Doesn't matter. Shirts.

No, yeah, that's fucking gone. How was the high of the win for your fight? I love this thing. Honestly, that was... And how long did it last? Did you get a boner? No, as it turns out. What?

Because all the blood's everywhere else. It's just fucking, it's busy. Dude, I was hoping you'd have like a fight victory boner. You wouldn't have noticed anyway because it just came on your enemy. Jesus, me and James are that cool. Not yet. Not yet, that's true. Come on your bros.

A certain dominance question mark. But no, dude, that's one of those moments that, and a couple people told me this, I think my dad even told me this, where he's just like, you know, there's going to be moments in there where like, you'll remember this for the rest of your fucking life. And that was one of those where it was like,

it felt like the end of a fucking Rocky movie because this is something that we really dedicated like i've eat slap you know woke up every day like just dedicated to this one mission for like six weeks and then that was just the the culmination of all of it and it's just like hugging you hugging tony hugging cody and just like just it dude everyone was there motion right fucking you guys were going more ape shit than i was oh it's always the coaches that go more you should do well you're not tired no but it's like the you like you're so worried about your fighter you're like oh bro i hope i taught him because it is it's like we hope we taught him the best we could and set him up for success. Because then it's on us.

It feels like it's on us, not the fighter if it fails. Because it is. And meanwhile, once you get in the ring, it's out of your control. Yeah. That's where the anxiety comes in for coaches. Like, Jesus, take the wheel. This is so fucking cool. I'm so glad you did this shit, man.

I really am glad. Like, I am glad for all of this. You guys did a fucking awesome job. Appreciate it, man. Training me up. Even when there was times where I'm like, whatever we were doing, it's like, fuck, this sucks. In the back of my head, I'm like, it sucks, but we need to do it. No, it does suck.

First form gave us 15 seconds to do that. First form! Opti green 50 And you get to see the other coaches weren't showing up in those last few days it was no one else other than us at the gyms. Yeah. That's crazy. Like that last day was us in Belcher. Belcher was a UFC fighter was naturally showing up. He's a professional fighter. He knows. We had the whole gym to ourself, dude.

Yeah. It was crazy. It was literally every day. It was like, Hey, we got to go in. We got, we got to do this. And then his eating was super clean. We had the last two days whenever we'd go out anywhere. Cause we were in Nashville.

There's a lot of food everywhere or whatever, but like we'd go to a restaurant and like the waiter would come by like so sir what would you like i'm like what am i having coach and then brandon we were at cheesecake factory he was eating like chicken a steak and green beans and that was it and he was like eating the steak he almost finished in his salad or he the steak and i think he had like something else it was like mashed potatoes or something. Yeah. Like simple rice or something like that. Something like that.

And I look over I was like eat your green beans. He literally did that. He's like okay. Eat your green beans. I'm like yes sir. Cocked it.

He's eating his green beans. I totally forgot we started this conversation in the first four seconds of this podcast. What happened to the TikTok guy versus the UFC fighter?

Oh yeah. How did that pair of fucking happen? How did they even match that up? Well because it was last minute because I think the original guy dropped out. Like he seemed to be a common trend. Yeah yeah yeah there were two of them. Two different fighters dropped out. Yeah this card was kind of a shit show in that regard. But

two fighters had dropped out and this guy challenged him in the press conference. The TikToker challenged the UFC guy. He was kind of an idiot. He said like, hey, why'd you duck me?

Why'd you duck my fight or whatever? And Belcher is sitting next to me in a press conference. He was super cool. Oh, yeah, yeah. I really enjoyed, like, he was super cool.

Was he, therefore, was he like a coach for somebody else or was he just chilling? No, he was supposed to fight. He was supposed to fight. He was supposed to fight a pro bot,

well, I mean, not all pros, but Rockman Jr. Yeah. I've seen Rockbond Jr. His dad was like a, he beat, his dad beat the next Lewis. Oh, no shit. Okay.

So like he's been, he's been around, whatever, but it was just like, and then he dropped out last minute or whatever. Yeah. And then they replaced him with this TikToker and Belcher honestly was prepared to just play with him for three rounds and then end it. I'm sure he knell at him. I didn't get to see that fight. I didn't get to see that fight. I think they just called it by decision

because he or TKO'd him. The other guy didn't want to fight anymore after round three because he was told round three, he's like, I'm coming for that ass after this. And I think he just didn't want to get finished off. Al Motz was nobody to play with. That guy's a beast. Were the first two rounds just him fucking with him?

It was literally Sav was saying, even on the fight, they were watching in the replay or on the screen or whatever, and he'd be like, huh? And he'd miss slightly on purpose and wink at him. Like, yeah. Oh, boy, it was a big. Because even during the press conference, was he just like hey tickle him during the their way in the stare down you tickle him and smile and then tiktok cocky guy

he's like oh oh alan just tickle him hey and they asked alan's like oh how are you gonna do it he's like oh i'm gonna knock you the fuck out. And Alan, like Cody's seen it. Cody's like, he's fighting that dude. Because all you see is this fighter fighter sit down in front of us. He's one table away. And his traps are like here. He's got the like meaty fucking traps. His neck is here.

He's a fighter build. Does he still have Johnny Cash on his arm? I think so. Right? Yeah. Yeah, that's Alan Butzer, right? It's perfect for Nashville. Oh, my God.

Both those TikTok guys all talk, man. Yeah, the other one dropped, the one that was supposed to fight. He failed last-minute medicals or some shit like that. He was talking big game. He was the one that, at the media workout, got punched in the head. Oh, bro, this is a good story. That is... At the media day, he was going to fight AT. Anthony Taylor? Taylor, yeah, this is a good story. Tell that is. At the media day, he's going to fight A.T.

Is something Anthony Taylor? Taylor. Yeah. Anthony Taylor. He'd be. Salty pop. Yeah. Oh, yes.

OK, actually, I do know that one. And like this dude walks in like fucking in his underwear, cowboy boots and a cowboy hat, like trying to play like big personality. Right. And gets up on the ring while he's doing his media workout thing he gets up on the ring and like starts like i don't know if he threw a punch first or whatever oh i think he's gonna like slap him or something at fucking slips it and bops him right in the fucking face and then he just walks away he's like oh my mama you suck

dude i've already won i counterpunched your ass you already lost oh so they never fought they didn't fight no they didn't fight no then they had the weigh-in so he he's like you lost you suck i already beat you but that's how it started so then starts the press conference the day before the fight and that guy tries to say talk shit and at loud dude but really good at talking shit i'll say this. The guy's not my favorite. He's a little noxious because he's so loud, but the comparison between him and the other dude was... He lost the night before, and then he lost at the press conference.

The cowboy hat guy just had no personality left. That punch just... His ego got dropped down. That's what you were saying the day of so that way and he was all like oh or uh at the the media workout the media workout he was flamboyant like he was full of life and then after that punch he was never the same like he was his ego got rocked back down to the floor so he wouldn wouldn't even do anything. And then the press conference, the entire crowd was laughing at him. And the only thing he could say to A.T.

was like, your teeth are messed up. That was his only joke. But Anthony, he was like, bitch, you already lost. Look at that black guy. How's that black guy? He's like, when I countered you, your ass flew back to Texas. He's like, where's your hat at? I love ethnic Eli impression. It's fantastic.

That is black Eli. And then he just kept going. And then one of the best comments, though, was one dude got up on stage to talk shit. I'm just thinking Eli D apostrophe. Ubbletap.

Sorry. Invasive thoughts. They're just coming out. I love it. Fuck. Uh, what the fuck? Brandon.

Fucking hate it here. Dude gets up. My brother in Christ, you invited me. This is your fault. I often make mistakes. I can see you now. Dude gets up to talk shit and he is mumbling the entire, whatever he says.

Oh, I saw that clip of that. And then. I was like, I don't know where that guy was. But I was, so I was in between. This was one of the two, like, all-out brawls that broke out. Oh, there was two fights during the press conference. Which was so annoying. Like, because it's a bunch of, honestly, a lot of, there were a lot of the cool, the

influencers there. A lot of them were really cool. Like, really personable. The coaches were really cool uh there were several people i genuinely like kind of liked like just would see in the hallway hey what's up man but a lot of them were just tiktokers that were just looking for their five seconds of fame that they could clip there so they're they're putting on like these fake beefs and it's just really annoying look at me behavior the whole time like my whole childhood press the press conference. It looked annoying. I was annoyed to be there. I saw it in your face the whole time.

I was like, why am I here, man? I could be doing anything else. What the fuck? Why do I have to be here? We wanted to do a short where it just cuts to Brandon with everything going. We would reshoot it later because Brandon was in the crossfire from drinks flying,

people punching around, fucking paper airplanes landing on my shoulders. I'm just like... And he's just sitting there annoyed or thinking Drinks flying. People punching around. Fucking like paper airplanes landing on my shoulders. And I'm just like. And he's just sitting there annoyed or thinking. Like every time he just like. I would just look straight at you guys sometimes like. Why am I here?

But the one that caught me off guard is the dude behind. After that happened. Dude mumbles. Talk shit. He's like no one could understand him like dude you got fucking peanut butter in your mouth or something like that everyone started loosening and you shut the fuck up and sat down because no one could understand what he said i was just like bro you got peanut butter in your mouth or what i just it took me a second i had

like the other fighters started laughing it That's a good one. Oh, it was so... It was definitely all the... That was the fun bit because me and James barely fucking knew each other, but we were super civil the whole time. Yeah. Introduced each other. We introduced ourselves right off the bat.

They even said, I don't sense any bad blood here. It's like, how could there be? We don't really know each other. I just appreciate the fact that he... Showed up you know that i still have a fight yeah it's pretty brave to come do that off of one week notice and like yeah and he's he said he'd only done two boxing classes before and that means it's like more of a cardio and james trained and shout out to james for doing that like boy had a heart for just even getting into that ring off of a week's notice and never doing any fight training.

And then it's like he had like one sparring session or something like that? Well, he started sparring like six or seven days prior. Okay. So I don't know how many sparring sessions he got in, but I will say this. Like, I know I made a big deal of like he was bigger, more weight, more reach, more height.

To get in after only, you know, eight days notice. He still there were several times during that fight where I was afraid of that right. We're like I had to choose my moves very carefully or else he was going to do a lot of damage to me. So like he he really put in a good fight. I appreciated him as an opponent. And the cardio, that's what he was banking because we complimented him right after after the fight we talked and we're like dude let's grab drinks come down to texas because that was one thing it was the um he's like man i was just hoping my cardio would win but jesus this is not this is a complete different game of cardio yeah because as soon as i started hitting that off button like right in the middle of the nose That's when I realized like it was almost like vats

I'm like that is the critical area It's like those are arcade video games was like Like that's the area hit because I realized like as soon as there was that much blood come out I'm like if I get if I tap that three or four more times It's off does not feel good and it was he started saying he was like he could i was good yeah he's like and then the blood filled my nose and then he was like i couldn't breathe and my breathing was cut short and then brandon asked him mid-fight oh yeah so this this did not come across well on tv this but like i think it was around the beginning around

three something like that did you see this happen? Yeah, yeah. When we were watching. I didn't see it then. I didn't know what was going on. But when we watched the replay. Because I saw a big, like, because, you know, you get that chunky red blood. Right? That good arterial blood. Started, like, pouring out.

And I saw a big chunk fall. And we were kind of at a standoff distance. And I kind of gave him the nod. And I'm like, I asked him, like, you good? Like, which apparently is just kind of like a faux pas in boxing. Like, you're like, just fucking kill him. But I'm just like, I don't have a fucking issue with this guy. So I'm like, you good?

And apparently he was kind of confused because he didn't know how bad he was bleeding. Yeah, he was, fuck him. It was a leaky sieve. And I'm just kind of like, kind of like a, I wasn't, I told him later, I'm like, I'm sorry if that came off asshole ish But like I was doing a lot of you you had like I will keep going if you want, but I don't know It's broke. Hey, look like it. I think he got broke cuz even after the fight that bitch was do he made a video? No, she's good, but it was like I know I've got the poppies now. Yeah. Yeah, it can't I don't know if the Michael pick it up She then put in the poppies

But it was good watching and you you had this good body like Yeah, we're gonna pull support Cuz right now that's the one thing I was like if you get him against the ropes fucking go to the body because homeboy he's new fighting he's gonna do this shit to protect his face trying to push me off yeah and this brand it just cuts to bernard's like right he had some good body shots like early i was like oh that's gonna affect him yeah like the legs going away real quick right there i was like i can't breathe in my nose yeah the body and stuff sucks. Damn, man.

That's fucking. It was a rush like nothing else I've ever felt. That was really, it was wild. It's scary in the moment. Don't get me wrong. Because there's another grown ass man who's bigger than you who's trying to kill you. That can't be overstated. People are like, just get in there.

I'm like, everything in my DNA is telling me to be careful about that. Not get in there, yeah. And that's what we were discussing. Brandon technically should be fighting at like 160 for his height. Oh, for sure. Yeah, batty. 160 is what he should fight at for his height. No way. That's why I was like, not at 190.

190, like, well, you're not. You're the big boys. You got the 6'2", 6'3". Because even like, I carry a lot of muscle on my frame, but I also like not that lean It's like if I leaned out like at my current muscle size I could probably get down to a pretty good like 180 175 right yeah, but yeah for my height If I was gonna get super lean yeah 160 probably but I would just lose a lot because a lot I just like the bigger frame. Oh same dress. It's that trade-off you like I

Don't want to be fucking 7% body fat. That's just not how I want to live my life. And why? Why am I doing this? Yeah, and then you get those fighters that just drop, though. We were discussing it. Jones will drop. A lot of fighters come back 20 pounds heavier that day of the fight, 30 pounds.

It's wild. Those guys would be in the week of be 15 pounds over easily yeah and then they like step on they like step on the scale they're just fucking tiny then they blow up the next day to their normal fighting size and be like what the fuck that guy showed me yeah they got it down to a science for sure it's crazy watching that stuff it's one of my it i love boxing it's so fascinating fighting in general is just super fascinating and i kind of wish i kind of wish i would have still that morning of cut down to the weight i wanted to or well i was at the weight i wanted yeah you hit 189 i didn't

it was at 190 though right it was at 190 i wanted to come in under just i wanted to get okay so i got in at 189 on the dot i kind of wanted to still dehydrate and see what happened because that was without doing a lot of cardio and sweating out. I feel like I could have gotten below 185. Oh, you could have done 184. Yeah, you could have been at 185 for sure. You got that. That's why the day of we were like Gatorade, liquid IV, pineapple, bananas.

It was just like fight snack. Here, this is to carve back up, get all this stuff going. Shit your pants in the fight. Are you serious? Okay, so real talk. Fucking real talk. Is that a thing? Dude, because once you glove up, depending on where you're at,

they switch the rules like how strict they are on drinking water, what you're intaking, potting. I can only get clear fluid. No more food, no more nothing. Yeah, bottles that would be closed or whatever like that. They can't have like squeeze bottles. They'll give them to you. Yeah.

Every state's different, but yeah. So I legitimately was worried about shitting my pants. I am not even fucking lying. I know. It's funny. Because it's nerves. Like you get nerves. Nervous poops, bro.

You want to get the fucking liquid shits. But, like, I was worried about that. And I, like, but once the adrenaline kicks in, you're just. You forget. You're only there in that fight. But, like, leading up to it, I'm like, man. Don't shit for 20 minutes. The only thing that would be worse than a knockout is a knockout while I'm shitting my pants.

I will never live that down as far as, that is my career. I'm sure it's happened before too. I guarantee it. Just that fucking jab shit yourself. I swear I haven't Googled it yet, but I want to see boxer shits himself. I swear to God that's a thing.

Oh, no, it's a thing. Oh yeah, there's full fights on it. There's a UFC fighter that poops multiple times. Yes, for sure. Really? Dude, it's such good. It's like people are like, that's a girl fight on it. There's a UFC fighter Yeah, girl they did it too and they're not like pellets it's like up Like your crap like I'm like I ain't fighting after that I

Fight not miss the shit out of the ring Same guy cleans the blood. I assume that guy from Bloodsport you fight right after that and they're trying to grapple you and fucking armbar you into the turd you're dragging yourself away from the turd get me away from that

or no you probably have a guy like Luke trying to push you it's just automatic what an asshole you don't know where I've been you probably have a guy like Luke trying to push you. It's just automatic. What an asshole. You don't know where I've been. But dude, fucking seriously, congrats to Tony and Matt for training up and being there helping that entire time. Watching that shift in your brains that we're like,

okay, this is super serious this isn't a walk in the park this is actually i have to dedicate time from my busy schedule to do this and i'm glad we did that too because while i could have i could have taken action man while i was sleeping i had no idea my opponent would get changed to somebody this serious so i'm glad we took it seriously yeah for sure because like i said this was like the final test yeah and if i wasn't taking it seriously i would have gotten my shit rocked you don't play boxing no no you don't and then big shout out for you for fucking stepping in the ring taking it like i fucking this proud autistic eli moment just seeing how much effort and dedication you put into that craft leading up to it because it was multiple hours it wasn't like a one-off or you would train with Matt and then you'd come to

the house and get a little more training. Yeah. He would tell me that. I was like, Oh, I can't believe that. I was like, Oh good.

It was like 10, 20 hours a week. Like it was almost like it was another job on top of what I'm already doing. And you wouldn't give up. Like even when it was, Hey, push in, Hey,

we're going to go a little harder. Hey, we're going to train a little bit harder. I get sloppier, but I like, there was never a time where you guys told me to do something. And I was like, was, hey, push in. Hey, we're going to go a little harder. Hey, we're going to train a little bit harder. I get sloppier. But like there was never a time where you guys told me to do something and I was like, no. No. You'd be like, fuck.

He'd be like, hands up. We're still going. That last day of sparring, it was just like pressure. I'm like, okay. Walk towards Brandon like I want to kill him. And then you start doing that to James, which was walk towards James like I'm going to kill him. Which was funny. It was funny to see that come full circle because I walk towards James like I'm going to kill him. Which was funny. It was funny to see that come full circle because I'm like, I'm the Eli now. Yeah, for sure.

You're the shorter guy going, it's the bigger guy. You're Eli. But you just kept going. You bit down. You didn't give up. You pushed through. And you continued to adapt and learn and perfect your boxing experience. It was just mad props to you.

So when's the next fight? Man, I don't know if I'll ever do it again, but I know I... Well, because I'm not going to lie, an undefeated pro boxing record is pretty cool. But also, I don't know, there's... It feels like a really complete chapter. Yeah.

But I do think that even if it's still once a week or something, I would like to keep the skill up. Just even casually, because it's a great great fucking workout and i had a lot of fun i really enjoyed it yeah get the best shape of your life that's for god damn we said in the press conference is like i thought i was in shape but then yeah yeah because like i was like i've got a pretty decent muscular frame like i'm not super lean or anything but like i i like to keep in shape and then i started sparring and that will fucking relieve you of any fucking notion you have of your cardiovascular status also uh fucking shout out to brandon's new mouth guard uh that helps so fucking much

oh my god i swear to god that was my next question I was like bro this is the best thing in the world I didn't know that a double sided mouth guard wasn't the standard so he's been using what appears is like the big he's like this in the fight like the

entire time of training that's gonna get photoshopped so god damn quickly by the way it's like a champion. Like a champion. We've all deep-throated the mice. Brandon. Oh, that's true. We have all deep-throated the mice.

What? Somebody on the subreddit, go back and get just the compilation of all the times we fucking face-fucked these things. You don't need to. I believe you. I'm just a guest. I'm not doing that. But it was, we were.

One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. Matt's the guest. One of us. Seriously, the guest. One of us. Matt's like this. He's like, whoa, what the fuck, bro? Seven inches.

They're in talents. Seven inches. But straight up, it was like doing one of those athletic trainer things or whatever, where they purposely restrict your breathing. I had no idea. As soon as I got that one-sided, we did it in the fucking hotel with hot water from the dispenser next to the coffee machine that's where we molded it bit into it and then like two of the mexican ladies watching us the little uh the cleaners because we were in a closed off section

we were in a closed off section we're just like we gotta do this real quick it was like a day before the fight and it was like oh i can breathe it cooled down it sat and you like popped it back and he's like wait what the fuck is this how it's supposed to film like yeah so i was accidentally every time i've sparred before that moment i was training on hard mode and didn't know it which i think that's good yeah because day up that's why i was over breathing during the fucking ring i swear we boxed that night we did mitt training like hard mitt training where i just burnt his shoulders out i was like hey we're just doing three minutes straight like learn to punch a guy taller than

you yeah and then keep it my pace and afterwards he's like he's just breathing normal i was like holy shit you can breathe he's like what the fuck after an hour of training yeah and he trained the entire time with his mouthpiece in which again brandon never did that because his other mouthpiece was a fucking yeah a block just entire mouth and then i i remember feeling really good about the cardio aspect because it was during that we have it on video or like halfway through the just like firing off at the very end to burn out i was like come on motherfucker like and then those i will say we almost look like assholes to the mexican ladies the cleaner ladies because they didn't speak what the main one didn't speak English. You don't speak Spanish. No, zero. I'm called American. I speak one language.

Barely. We had four cups of water full. We're like, what do we do with this? They didn't have anything to dump it in. We look at her and it's like, hey, where is the spot? Donde poro the agua? She's like, sorry.

She was like, oh floor And we're like, hey So I mean Brandon was like we're just supposed to dump it on the floor cuz we're helping that we were confused like looking at Each other like are they telling us to pour this on the floor? And she's like and I was like on floor and she's like see and I was like, I don't think and that's like what the fuck And we're about to pour it on the floor. I was like, do you want? And she's like, be careful. And I was like, oh, my God.

This lady would have been like, be careful. And me and Brandon would have looked at her and just dumped water on her. It's this poor old lady who just mopped the floor. And she was like, clean up. They're telling us not to slip and fall. And we're just like, fuck you, and pour water on her floor. It was so close to turning into assholes. I was like, oh, thank God.

We said, like, reiterated, because both of us were just looking at it. It's like, I don't think that's the right thing. I don't think that is. You were very intensely just looking at your phone, and I thought you were talking. I thought you were looking at the soundboard. No, no, that's fine. That's fine. This whole episode's fucked, isn't it?

I just got, like, a weird message, and I was like what the fuck is that about I thought somebody Thought someone's trying to get Nora on some email account I thought you were looking at the soundboard. Oh, we're done. We're fuck. Yeah, it didn't record anything. No. No, this is all fine We're good Congrats again, my bro. It's all it was all you guys. That was good. That was fun. I helped. You didn't help. You recorded my day? I felt you, though.

I felt your presence. I showed up one day, and, Brandy, can I tell you something? I watched you boxing, and with no background, nothing, I was like, Brand's going to get his ass kicked. Yeah. I genuinely had no, like, because I've never seen you train. I have never seen anybody else train in boxing other than watching Matt and Eli beat the piss out of me.'s a fair assumption that i was like oh god i thought

he was gonna be further along or something because i i gotta i've only seen professionals in eli and matt i've never watched any of this amateur or creator boxing stuff i just never gave a fucking and i was like oh man i don't want brain to lose i didn't want to lose you did so fucking good, though. It's hard. And there's certain things you can't really prep for, like what I was hearing about your response to getting a really good hit in, like to being hit really hard.

If it's automatically aggression, then that's good. But you can't train that. No, that is a get used to just punch through and that's what we were reiterating tony and i were just like hey second you start if you get hit fucking swing back fuck that dude yeah and because that and you can see don't touch gloves yeah but why don't you touch gloves i i saw you i saw you in my fucking head floating above me when he reached out for that cause like I gave the most like

well that would have been a dick move I wasn't planning on touching gloves until he put it out there and it threw me off cause I was like fuck that was supposed to be our that's all he said during the mid corner he said you touched gloves is that what I said?

no I'm joking I don't remember that gloves? What did I do? I said no Don't remember That's what your mind was focus on mid-fight. You're like what's that? Did I fuck up? Land an opening combo we had planned an opening combo that just never happened But what was your like your celebration after you won like the the night of you went out with the guys or some shit I'm assuming I didn't go super hard, to be honest. I didn't want to get hammered. I honestly, I drink a lot,

but I don't love the sensation of being drunk. So I had to pace it because everybody wanted to do celebration shots. And I'm like, oh, that'd be the worst thing to do after a fight. Yeah, I don't like that. TBI and booze. Wait, what do you mean? That's not how you do it

Death Yeah Every vet ever You didn't go to a heart In the words of Jericho Have an avocado you'll be fine Everyone showed up And big shout out to everyone that showed up

From what Cody Sav Zedra Leon Nico big shout out to everyone that showed up yeah fucking from what Cody Sav it was that rush was the early on eco yeah Nico not me not not you suspiciously not you that's so crazy j-wolf Jesus Christ that's Nico's buddy Jesus Christ yeah oh he was there dude Nico's always there. Dude. Say my heart. Nico's friend, J-Wolf Side Note, is the biggest human. Hold the door. Hold the door.

Hold the door. Dude, every time when you get in an Uber, the Uber's like. Oh, it's like when he sits down, the car moves a little. It literally did. Seven foot one. Seven foot one. Seven foot one? And big.

Like, he's like. He's like 400 pounds, dude. He's a bigger Caleb. Yeah, he's like. He's like 400 pounds. He's a bigger Caleb. Yeah. He's. Dude Caleb look. Yeah. He made Caleb look small.

He's a big human. Like his thigh. I've seen J Wolf in chat before. I know. I know exactly who you're talking about. I didn't. Oh my God. Bro he walked in.

I was like. What was the nicest fucking guy ever. Acting in the Game of Thrones. Yeah. Oh yeah. Cause he was so kind. Yeah. Like unbelievably nice. He doesn't need to be mean though mean though because people know we've all seen game of thrones we know what happens

yeah bro he was but it was hilarious watching ubers because we get in and shout out to uh the burmese uber drivers which are strangely huge in fucking nashville we were surprised by that. And Brandon had some good conversations. Oh boy. Oh boy. So yeah. All the Ubers in Nashville are Burmese. Which is a very fucking weird area to have a Burmese

population. So the first one, Eli was just making a small talk with a guy and said something along the lines of like, oh, so like, well, how do you like America? After saying he was from Burma, Myanmar, a place that's been in civil war since the 90s. Forever.

Yeah. He's like, how do you like America? He basically goes, eh, it's alright. And I'm making fun of him a little bit in the next Uber where I'm like, how the fuck are you going to move to America and say it's all right? Like, bro, I prefer to be in a place where, you know, child amputees are rare. And it's genetic.

Landmines are not an acceptable excuse to get out of work. Like, I like living in those kind of places. And I'm saying all this in our other Uber, who's, I find out, also Burmese. Followed by the next Uber. I went hard. I went hard. Yeah, because at the end, I was like, oh, Buddhist. He's like, yeah.

I was like, what? Also, Eli, again, being the annoying one, got us started the conversation. I also said some line about like, yeah, I prefer the leading cause of infant death to be like you know crib death or like medical malpractice and not ball bearings and then he's like so where are you from sir? Um Yamal oh oh god

so sir I'd like to first say that I was joking about all that give him a big tip right? Beautiful country but everyone else super I was joking about all that. Give him a big tip, right? Beautiful country. Beautiful country. But everyone else, super Burmese. It was seriously six Burmese Ubers.

Yeah, six in a row. That is bizarre. I did miss one. I thought one was Filipino because how he talked. I was like, hey, Filipino. And he's like, you're a motherfucker. Why didn't you talk to the Uber drivers? Because. because no sit in silence and play on your goddamn phone patty's like why do you talk to the hell i'm out caffeine caffeine and depression after all this time that was the line

why do you talk to the hell dude nothing that irritates me more than when the Uber driver talks to me. I do not want to ask how his day is going. Uber XLs or Uber Black or whatever, you can set quiet preferred. Yes. I love that. I love that. Fuck you, Eli. Don't get me wrong.

I've had some really cool conversations with Ubers before. Sometimes they're really cool people. No, they're not. But a lot of times it's like, man, sometimes I just have to – sometimes I just got to fucking work or talk to to people or whatever i just don't want to like my problem he may be a cool guy but i just he doesn't he's not i just don't care i just really and sometimes i struggle damn and sometimes i struggle to put on the oh i'm caring face well as they're looking in the rearview mirror at me just being like the only thing I don't like is when they can't catch a hint.

Sometimes, yeah, I'm a dick. Oh, that's crazy, man. That's cool. And then they just keep talking. It's like, that bothers me. I wasn't done. This is going to be one of those rides. Eli, you're the guy.

Thank God. You're the guy who's starting the conversation. I'll start. But then I also stop. I'm like, hey. I just check in on him I say hey what's up I say hey thanks for the ride man When I leave when I'm getting out of the car

Thanks for the ride man Door's shut One dude he pulled up I seen his name and I was like Oh he's gonna be like hey how you doing Where you going He's like hey how you doing I was like hey Filipino He's like no Burma I was like fuck Where are you going? I was like, hey, Filipino. He's like, no, Burma.

I was like, fuck. I was kind of racist because I guessed the wrong Asia. But his accent was perfectly like the exact same. It's all these damn brown Asians here. Oh, my God. I always call them the brown Asians. It's the truth. We are the poor Asians, the Filipinos, Burmese.

Everything is the war-torn Asia. Asians, the Filipinos, Burmese. Like, everything is the war toward Asia. Yeah, the Mexican of the Asian community. They are south of the border. Matt is in a submarine looking out of Pfizer right now. I wish he would implode and kill me next to the Titanic. My periscope. No. So your kids can go to a Blink-182 concert?

You know what? Yo, no. Fuck, dude. I feel for that guy. I would have gone to Blink. I would have made the best of that. You know he didn't give a fuck about his stepdad or whoever the fuck that was. He saw an $8 billion inheritance. I'm going to Blink. I couldn't afford Blink before, but now I can.

Hit on OnlyFans models like, what else is he going to do? He's single and he's on the spectrum like, hey, what else is he going to do? He doesn't know any better. I just would have been quiet about it. When has Eli ever been quiet on anything? We just had an entire conversation. Why is this on Eli

now? Yeah, my parents didn't die. Well, I mean, one did. Ah. I mean, he did. I'm not making that up. He did. But nobody cared about that. Did he really?

Yes. I did what? Oh, so you're bullying a handicapped person. Yes. Everyone was making fun of him. I'm like. On me? No.

Well, apparently the kid had asked for it. He was on the spectrum. He was on the spectrum. Is he? Yes. Oh, yeah. Nobody had Asperger's. He was on the Spectrum. Is he? Yes. Oh, yeah. Nobody fucking published that shit. Of course he was. He liked Blink-182.

That's how you end the podcast. That fucking statement right there. Thank you for watching the F-Squared Podcast. I'm Eli Batty. Fuck Brandon. And of course, Matt. Thank you so much for coming out. And Matt, real quick, shout out to your gym.

Yeah, backside and boxing. Tony Adeneron helped out with the cornering and all that. And yeah, it was fun. It was a fun experience. I really appreciate it. You're going to help me be better at things too. Oh, dude, absolutely. Why isn't a Y stallion?

I don't know. And on that note. I don't know. See you that note. I don't know. See you on the after show, guys. See you. We're walking the block. Jesus. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know.

I don't know. I don't know.