Unsubscribe Podcast - 127 - F-22 VS THE WORLD ft. Habitual Linecrosser

Episode Date: October 14, 2023

HABITUALLY CROSSING LINES WITH THE BALD AND BEAUTIFUL  @habitual_linecrosser !!!! WATCH THE AFTERSHOW ON PATREON!! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS HELLO FRESH Go to https://www.HelloFresh.com/50unsubscribe and use code 50UNSUBSCRIBE for 50% off plus FREE SHIPPING! ADAM & EVE Go to https://www.adamandeve.com and use code UNSUB for 50% off + Free shipping + Rush Processing! MANSCAPED Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with code UNSUB at https://www.manscaped.com OUT OF REGZ Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with code UNSUB at https://outofregz.com/ ------------------------------ OUR MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON NOW: https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB http://gfuel.com/discount/baddie CODE: BADDIE ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe -Baddie- @BaddieStreams https://www.twitch.tv/baddie https://twitter.com/BaddieStreams https://www.instagram.com/baddiestreams/ https://www.youtube.com/baddiestreams -Eli_Doubletap- @EliDoubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by GVAN https://www.twitch.tv/gvan11b https://www.instagram.com/gvan11b/ https://twitter.com/GVAN_CC unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast #military #gaming Chapters: 0:00 Welcome to Unsub 3:06 MILITARY 13:11 Star Wars 26:41 Habitual’s Content 36:53 Our Military Experiences 58:09 TANKS 1:05:31 Video Games 1:09:31 GUNDAMS 1:13:10 Titanfall 1:16:42 WE WANT MECHS 1:23:26 World War 2 1:30:48 War Games Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

People see how the military actually works Oh y'all! Oh hold on, but it's only this wide too You're like, it's so smooth and lovely Oh yeah, that was good, that was a good one, in sync Hi everyone! We haven't clapped in like eight episodes Jesus, cause now it doesn't, it's not needed

Is your tinnitus going off? I love it's not needed anymore to clap, it's like, oh, yeah, everything's automatic. That military-grade hearing loss every day. Yeah, I know. Mine are ringing, too. Don't worry. I did it to myself. Okay, now you're just being rude.

You're being disrespectful to our guest's ears. He's hyping everything up. Stop staring at the camera. I don't like when you stare at the camera too long. Because I see it now. Like, when it comes out and I'm looking at it and I'm doing stuff, I just have you like, eyeballing. I just realized I was staring at you and not the camera. I Just realized you and not the camera so the

It's racially ambiguous and baddy That guy's fucking ridiculous. We don't know best not to ask yourself why But my friend, you've arrived, welcome to Unsubscribe Welcome to the Unsubscribe Podcast, as always, we are VLA Double Top, my sub-buddies Here we are, beautiful, powerful, strong, super fucking bald guest Habitual like grosser I'm the next step in evolution, I'm immune to dandruff Oh shit, not me I have bread. I'm immune to dandruff. Oh, shit. Not me. I have bread and I'm going to get dandruff.

Bro, thick hair. Thick hair problems. Yeah. It's also just gluten. I grew through it. It's tree line. That's what it is. It's too tall.

I can tell you that. Gluten gives you dandruff. Oh, yeah. Really bad. If you have gluten in the life life because you will have I forget why That's why if I have bread and then drink beer. I know because I have like the next day I can take off my skull cap Like disgusting she's touching it breaks apart Oh, yeah, it's really bad this explains why why after a night of drinking, I'm like, oh, yes.

Yeah, that is literally why, especially if you have a gluten intolerance. Eli, how's your gluten intolerance been lately? Great. My dairy intolerance, my gluten intolerance, my IBS. I just. You know, this is from the burn pits. We just sharing everything here now. It's definitely from the burn pits. Just blame it on the burn pits. Are we just sharing everything here now? It's definitely from the burn pits.

Just blame it on the burn pits. That's all it is. Well, so actually with the burn pit story is the one when it first came out is that soldier standing in front of the burn pits and the Times did the U.S. soldiers burn pits. It's my buddy Storch from my company. So it's the front image on the Times is my buddy in my company. So I was like, well, at least they can't argue that we weren't part of the burn pits. Like, period. So when we were there, when that story came out, I was living at this place called the Strongpoint in Malajat.

It was an Afghan dude's house we lived in for seven months. And I was reading it while stirring our burn pit. I was like, that's interesting. No more burn pits. That's wild. And I just tossed in after I was done. I was like, huh, that's interesting. No more burn pits. That's wild. And I just tossed in after I was done. I was like, huh, that's crazy. You're still active duty.

We've had a lot of active duty guys on lately. This is weird. Y'all are weird. How long have you been in? Oh, January will be 15 years. Sorry. Yeah. How old are you? I am 33. I know I look 50. I'm 33. You know, I age like milk. It's not the years, it's the mileage. I got all off-road

miles. I'm glad I got out for six This is what I would look like! I wouldn't have any hair! My beard! Depression! It's bad. I'd still be smoking Spicy nostalgia. Dude, One Punch, well, it's like because your friends were on last week. They were hanging out right before the week before. Y'all didn't mean a bad Wonder yeah, our Fort Sill still and then we went over to one punch dad's house and I drank way too much I know since day. Oh man. I was nothing like a cool time. Look bro. You want to hang at Fort seal and drink?

No, I don't that sounds absolutely horrendous. You guys are like look. Yeah Anime freeze-frame is you guys are like fuck yeah high five anime freeze frame yeah they did not have a good time well mandatory fun day like set it up he's like hey we'll go to the patriot club it's like there used to be the nco club there on fort sill and they were having like something called like fires days or something because it's the fire center of excellence and we didn't know and like all three of us showed up and a bunch of people showed up to see all three of us. And like the, the garrison CSM came out. I was like, Hey, thanks for supporting. And we're just like, I have no idea.

Like we had no clue that it was happening. We just fucked up. That's why we were there. Yeah. It was, it was a little awkward. We were like, Oh, well, you know, Hey, support the post. That's what we'll do. Yeah.

It's such a weird time watching this like new, cause everyone has their different stories, but watching this, the change of the military and being like, oh, we're going to do social media now. And then because that was a big no, no. It's like cameras, all that shit. I mean, we talked about it last time. Like, I have like five photos of me. Yeah. In doing anything military related.

And two of them are like group photos. And then it's like one where I got in trouble for taking a photo. Another one, I think nobody was around like that. Like I couldn't take, we weren't supposed to do that. That wasn't just like a not cool thing. I was always the weird guy that like had the digital camera. Like I had a little Pelican case I would clip to me. So like I got pictures from Afghanistan, from UAE, from Korea, like all the places I've been, I have a ton of pictures. And like in the moment, it always, you seem like a weirdo when you do it. But then like 10, 15 years later, I talked to i was in afghanistan with and i took like like a terabyte almost of photos and i

uploaded all of them to a drive i was like here you guys go and they were so happy to have i'm sure they were i haven't seen these in forever i forgot about that forgot about that that's some hindsight shit like i i i wish i had photos of just me doing all the dumb shit oh yeah with with the scouts and the snipers back then. Like, fuck, man. This was back in the day where no one had... You had to have a digital camera. And most of those, especially in my time. Okay, guess what?

2007, not a whole bunch of digital cameras around at this time. Wind up. Do you still have that little birdhouse with the guy under the neat? She was at that time. That's what we did. A horse would be living with it. It would be like freezing. It would be like... I'm like, don't move. A horse would be living with it. It would be like freezing. I'm like, boom.

I'm like, don't move. Don't move. You blanked. Yeah, eight hours. The dead people show up real nice. Don't worry. We'll get these back to you in six months to a year once they get rendered or whatever they had back then. I remember, God bless your soul, a little sofa rat.

I think I've told it before. But one of the best videos is Sofa during a fucking, that was, what was it, third squad, I think, was getting ambushed. And Sofa's setting up the camera while the ambush is on their building. She's like, oh, shit. Oh, oh my God.

Oh, shit. She puts the camera down. And you just hear like, go, go, go, go, go. It's a full-on gun exchange, and you hear his little Asian accent. Oh my god Gun exchange in you his little Asian Running and it's like Ross's like it. He's like downstairs. I can't come out the shooting Fuck yourself go upstairs and you're hearing Window is like guns just fucking melting rounds just hitting the show these okay Okay, that was the camera down he repositioned in the gunfight Male 11 brother do I look cool?

Let me roll my sleeve and flex a little bit Lex almost died the whole time is Do I look cool? Let me roll up my sleeve and flex a little bit. Suck it in. Flex. Almost dying. We're turning fire! The whole time it's... It's the same dude that was afraid of ghosts when he had a 249 and we were sitting in a house because it was dark and he made me come downstairs because he was afraid a ghost might get him.

I'm like, bro, you have a saw aimed at the front door. I'm pretty sure you're fine. But a ghost is scarier. It's like, like yes it is and the sock can't do anything so either way brother I have a video somewhere

I think it's in that drive that I uploaded so we got had some bad stuff happen we got a strike package from the Navy it took us a couple days to get it it was two F-18s with three 500 pounders and I videotaped all three drops first one in, second one came in because there's two different birds. And then the third one took a little while. So I cut the video, new video. There's like all

this haze and stuff from all the debris and everything. Cool. But he came in right over top of us and it was a time charge. So when it hit, it blew out in our direction and we were like 600 yards away. And I have this video and I showed it to my mom and I really should. Mom. I'm sorry that I showed this to you. She's not going to watch this. Don't watch this. Don't tell your mom you came on here. Every time people get disappointed, I promise. Like it blew out and you hear in the background, you hear someone was at the same spot. And then you start hearing rubble hit the ground as it's getting closer. And you just hear someone in the back yell, just get down. And everybody on camera. And then it stops and everyone starts laughing. And she was like, why is that funny?

I was like, because we were fine. That's why it was funny. It's funny when everything works out. Yeah. Everyone's getting shot. We have, my sister, I remember I was on guard duty out at the cop and it was, we had four corners and then we had bulletproof glass at this time

and we just pull security. We do two hour had bulletproof glass at this time and we just pull security we do two hour rotations i was up and me me and i don't know innis or someone i'm talking to chas and then she hears gunfire i'm like god damn it and i like just let i shut the phone off and it's like it's just a quick engagement and then like 10 minutes later like i call her back i'm like hey i'm sorry i'm back and she's like don't call me if you're like she's like do you know how much that sucks? You're getting shot at and I just hear you getting shot at and you hear god damn and the phone goes off. I was like, I'll just not call you

from now on. You're right. That's probably not a good thing. That was my bad. No, you're right. That's on me. That's the worst 10 minutes of their life. Oops. The army, when I... I got hurt. It was also when they called they didn't explain uh i got fucking hit and then it was a bad day like a very bad day it was just firefights 10 hour eight hour

whatever we lost two dudes fucking terrible day and then four got sent home because a mortar back in so it was like fucking everything kicked off That was mission two in Iraq. Jesus. So we lost like two KIA and then four sent back home. I got shot that day and the leg just ricochet. And then fast forward, I didn't realize what the military did. God bless your souls. They called my sister and they're like, is this Mrs. Cuevas? It's like, yeah, her Roderick is. It's like, yes, your brother has been wounded.

She's like, oh, my God, what's going on? We don't know. Oh, God, no. They called. The government's like, let's not get all the facts first. Hey, we don't know what's going on. Just let them know something's fucked. He was in war and something bad happened.

Okay. Have a nice day. And it was in the middle of the night, so she's like, what do I do? I don't know they do this. So like, I just go through my day

and I call her the next day and she's like, oh my fucking God. She's like, the army called, they did this and then it was just fucking a nightmare. Just all that.

Cause I'm calling like, hey, what's up? And they're like, thank God you're, I was like, what? I was like,

they called you? What? Why did they call you? What is it? Like, I didn't even know they were calling people. It's a fucking whole shit show. Like instantly. Thank God you're I was like what I was like they called you what why did they call you? Like I didn't know they were calling people the fucking whole shit show like instantly the army does some things really good and other things Not so good. Just there's a lot of things not so good We don't highlight all those things. We shouldn't talk about the things the Army doesn't do good anymore. That's another two episodes.

What the Army does good. College. No, no, I didn't get any of that. They don't pay for your college. Would they pay for it? No. If you go? No. Why?

Because I didn't deploy. If you don't deploy, you don't get those benefits. You get like 10%, 20%. Oh oh because you were in active reserve oh i forgot about that rule national guard oh guardist yeah y'all the rules for guard are weird it's i i mean i i have friends who are active regardless which is even more folks i i was actually active in the guard you were active guard so you like went to work every single day in the army. Like just army pay. Not over the entire six years, but for like,

I'd say three out of my six years, I was active. Yeah, if you went to schools and everything, like that's what's crazy is like, nope, time spent. Without a deployment,

it has, it literally has to be like a deployment. Without that, you get a percentage. Like even, I'm pretty sure, I could be fucking wrong here, but I remember hearing stories about some of the guys coming back from, because I joined in 09, that you get a percentage like even i'm pretty sure uh i could be fucking around here but i

remember hearing stories about some of the guys coming back from because i i joined in 09 uh 2010 which was a deployment year so i was on a rear debt while the guys were gone yeah they came back and some of them still didn't get 100 coverage bro it army army oh shit real quick because fucking goofier said this fucking americans did create the debate the bidet the debate the bidet the bidet the db dude as a guy dr bidet he was in the 1960s and american created it it's and it was a french word it was created by american for what everyone knows what why where did that come from i got a text today because it came up in today's podcast. And I'm like, hey, actually, the bidet was created in 1960s America.

Hold on. On the record, on the asterisk we're adding to the podcast today, I was wrong about so much shit about Ahsoka. And I got called out so bad about most of it. I was drunk. I'm a ginger. What do you want from me? Okay, I'm wrong. I'm a ginger. What do you want from me, okay? I'm wrong.

I like Star Wars because of the pretty flashy lights. Leave me the fuck alone. I don't care. That is one fan base. Dude, dude. Fucking space priest. I ain't fucking with you. You know, someone asked me, someone who'd never seen Star Wars before,

and I'm not- Did you slap them after? Well, I'm not, like, real into Star Wars. I i watched the movies and i've seen part of uh what is that that uh the clone wars and i watched the mandalorian and i watched you know uh like some of the spin-offs i'm liking you a lot less than i haven't seen ahsoka right but like someone asked me like where do i start with star wars and that is still messing me up to this day i have five six i have no idea where to one two three seven eight, 3, 7, 8, 9. You can just skip all of them. You skip the books.

No, you watch the movies and you just have fun with it. If you got real time, you watch the Clone Wars. That's it. I would say 4, 5, 6, Clone Wars. No, 1, 2, 3 is amazing. It is. Whoa, whoa.

Now I'm feeling a different kind of way about you. You like 1, 2, and 3? I love 1. 1 is probably my about you. It's a car you like one two or three I love one. It's what is probably my favorite man is still my favorite man a minute. Yes. Yep. It's so good I mean you got everything you got obviously, you know space wizards You got freaking pod racing you got lightsaber battles got the first time you saw a double-sided lightsaber episode one Darth Maul I still get chills thinking about the time he goes There's like a second, and all of a sudden, I'm like, oh, my dick just did that.

So, Podrace is Darth Maul? Yeah. So, you've described fucking 10 minutes of the movie? You have Liam Neeson's from Tooken. Jar Jar Binks? Jar Jar played Vital. Okay, I can't even lie about that. He was a comedic role.

What do you want? C-3PO exists. Fuck you. Yeah. Yeah. And then not fucking Taking up a majority You guys described 10 minutes of why it's cool

And now I need the other Hour and 50 minutes Of why it's cool Let me get some notes I'll get back to you You're wrong You're wrong It's good

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plus free shipping. Wait, you get 50% off and free shipping? It's awesome. Hellofresh.com slash 50 unsubscribe. No one could kill a Jedi. That little kid, fucking worst actor in the gut. Okay. He's a child.

So is Macaulay Culkin. Yeah. How'd that work out? That is a terrible example. I would not use that one. But he's a fantastic actor. Oh yeah. You're lucky. He's got drugs actor. Oh, yeah. You're lucky.

He got drugs. There's like three good child actors, and only one of them turned out to be a decent adult. Elijah Wood. That's what I'm talking about. Literally. See? The Bad Son. Oh, The Bad Son.

Great movie. Both of those. I know. Dude. But that's when you can see Macaulay Culkin as how good of an actor that kid was. He was. I don't think I've seen The Bad Son. Oh, the-

No, is it The bad son or the... The good son. The good son? There it is, sorry. Elijah Wood and Macaulay... It's one of those two. Elijah Wood and Macaulay Culkin as a kid,

it was the good son and it was when Macaulay Culkin was an evil, like, fucking psychopath. He was a demented, like, a sociopath kid. Oh, okay. I was like,

the only... Like, thinking back that far, the only one is, like, when Macaulay Culkin... I can't remember the name of the movie. He got stung by a bee and died. Stung by a bee and died? Oh, oh, oh oh fucking um don't hit our guests no no no i know what he's talking about i can't remember the name of the movie but like i know that happened in it

i haven't seen it in years what's better than a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an instacart shopper and delivered to your door a well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. Stand by me. That might be it. It was with the girl, too.

Can you get stung by bees? Yeah, like they have their first kiss, and then he gets stung. Don't eat bees' glasses. I can tell you the funeral scene. Yes. Okay, you know what's another? Okay, we're getting sad today. I'm like, eh.

Bridge to Terabithia? I read the book. Didn't see the movie. Don't. It's sad. It hurts. I can't remember. There are two child actors.

They're famous now. One of them, they did wonderful. What is it called? Bridge to Terabithia. Oh, yes. Bridge to Terabithia. Very sad. Oh, fuck.

Oh, yes. There's the little boat down the river. The Zack and Cody. Those two kid actors. They fucking. I'm pretty sure they're pretty terrible. Isn't one of them terrible? No, no.

Both of them are really good. Like, that's the one. Those are the two that everyone's like, oh's zach and cody the twins like disney channel fucking kids yeah the hotel yeah they didn't get in any trouble like wait how these kids didn't get in any trouble if i remember right now the sweet life of zach took me a minute you're like zach and cody stayed relatively really good but one thing uh anyone worked with them like it was crazy because you have these kid actors that were extremely good at remembering every line like they would know their own and then i remember hearing about that yeah they would correct people if they got their lines wrong

that's just kick a little kid get the fuck away from me man yeah apparently like again like some kid actors just make it weird when you have good parenting done. It's wild. Not shilling your child for fucking schmeckles. You're like, come on, little kid. Act. No, I don't see any scandals. Dance, kid.

How did we get to Disney plus Disney Channel? Star Wars 1. Disney kids from goddamn. Eli getting a purple heart. Star Wars 1, purple heart. My story of becoming a Sith Lord. I ain't gonna be no Jedi. I think I would suck at both sides.

I'd probably be like that guy who like, you know, that man took the work of me. That's probably what I'd be. Big old fucking nose just owning people. I'm sorry big old fucking nose. Just owning people Watto yeah, there you go Watto. Oh, yeah the fucking I have his little chance cubes at my house and a little dice back I'm not gonna lie. I do Oh Okay, so I ever need to try to win a slave I didn't know that's where this was going to go maybe that

a small white child no it's not any better he was a Jedi no it just never gets better he didn't have a father what do you want from me those are the best slays I'm just kidding Star Wars Anakin Those are the best

He used the force though, he was like that's mine see that was a space Pope she's like I need that little I need that little kid. Oh, no space pope. Yes. Because they don't sleep with, you can't get married, you can't sleep around. Wow. But like every Jedi breaks that rule. All of them broke that rule. All of them. I think even Yoda did too. No, a lot of them stuck with it. Obi-Wan, Qui-Gon, Dooku, Anakin. Not sleeping around though.

I'm pretty sure Qui-Gon had a wife. I'm almost positive Qui-Gon. Qui-Gon was against like parts of'm pretty sure why I don't had a wife I'm always on was against like parts of the code to I don't think any of them had wives I'm mechanic the wives. I think it's a big rule. Obi-Wan. Absolutely did Everyone had a wife you he she was a Mandalorian. I promise you don't fuck with me on that and look it up What this was after the Jedi order though, right? No, it was during the Clone War. I don't... Now we broke out the cell phone. Obi-Wan's wife.

Obi-Wan's wife? Duchess Saint Satine. Her old love. Satine, her name's Satine. Her old love. Yeah. Was it before they got... No, during. her old love her name's Satine her old love yeah was it before they got no

during I think that also Qui-Gon Jinn had whom she fell in love with Tal a librarian of the Jedi archives

was also the master of Padawan Banned Errant oh Banned that's crazy he lost me there she was blinded in prison that's crazy he lost me there she was uh blinded in prison that's sad

no okay but this one's saying qui-gon did not have any love but another one's saying he did canon they're not allowed to well yeah canon they broke rules just like real life priests aren't supposed to obi-wan didn't have a wife it's like we just paused there real quick because i was gonna say it's against... No, so they were... The thing about Jedi is that they're always important for him to avoid having romantic feelings for other people because attachments were harmful to the Jedi's alignment with the light side. It was believed that falling in love would mean that the Jedi would blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Nevertheless, falling in love wasn't totally avoidable for the Jedi. And that means that even the best of them would fall in love. Some of them even had a wives in secret. As is, okay, so as one case for Anakin Skywalker. And Obi-Wan. No, it's very big on. Eli! He's not letting you go. You are wrong! You can read one article.

Obi-Wan. Her name is not Satine. That was Satine. You're talking about the one for Qui-Gon was tall. Although Obi-Wan and Satine never You're talking about the one from Qui-Gon was tall. Although Obi-Wan and Satine never married or became official couples, there was an undeniable

romantic connection. Obi-Wan and the Duchess decided to marry in secret. So you have two opposites and this is on Tumblr. I'm not trusting Tumblr. Oh, I'm just going to fake news. Obi-Wan was a pacifist. Obi-Wan was a celibate.

Yeah, that's why they're space popes. They just want little kids to train. Oh, fuck. You can tell me that they're not space popes. Hey, in the comments below, let us know what you think about Obi-Wan's secret wife. Thank you. Yes, yes, please. Back to military.

Hey, did you guys see that other topic over there? Mark, come here, space boat. I need you right here. Now everyone's like fighting in the comments. They're like, God damn it. What the fuck? That's why you had the Jedi Grey. And they were like, yo, fuck them rules.

Let's get married. Let's have bitches. Let's also maybe do some dark stuff. But not too much dark stuff. Let's also fuck some shit up and ruin everything much but let's not lean over that's weird also they just looked at both and like ah both sides yeah they were morally ambiguous much like our dear friend he like yeah they were they were morally i was rac. And they just have nothing in between.

Jesus. Hi, welcome to the podcast. Yeah, no, it's just God. You sweating yet? No, not yet. No, I gotta. Just wait. The one punch that and like both of them are mandatory.

It was the next day I got a text and they're like, not gonna lie, I was kind of sweating on stuff I don't remember saying. I was like, eh, fucking G-Band will get it. Also, G-Band, you can cut this out. You fucking G-Band. Didn't remember saying. I was like, eh, fucking G-Band will get it. Also, G-Band, you can cut this out. You fucking G-Band. Didn't know this. G-Band's active duty in the military while doing his other jobs. He's active duty.

He's been active duty for fucking three years. He was just not telling us because he was like, well, I just didn't want an excuse. I was like, fucking props to you, guy. I was like, if you want one of the best excuses, you're a fucking idiot. G-Man, what the fuck? Or you can leave it in. I don't know. This is up to you.

This is literally two days ago I got this call. G-Man, what else are you hiding from us? I said, G-Man, are you my father? If you want excuses of why shit's not on time sometimes? That's a big one. Yeah, that's hard I'm in the military We're making me horny But you got faster now we appreciate that he's like bro. I go he uploaded something for me

I was like, you know, he's like, yeah, I'll do her now. We appreciate that. He's like, bro. Yo, he uploaded something for me. I was like, yo, can you do this? And he's like, yeah, yeah, I'll do it right now. I'm like, I don't have to wait four days? No. Leave all that in. Fuck you. Yeah. If you want to.

It's your call. No, it's not. Fuck you. Fuck you. Go fuck yourself. I don't know who you are. Fuck you. Yeah!

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Just go to adamandeve.com and select any one item. It could be an adventurous new toy or something you desire go to adamandeve.com And use code unsub to save 50% off and get rush processing So you started with the f-22 that was your as you said your weird takeoff was like I just Bro, I'm gonna put eyes on it I know, eyes on a blade Every single video that has that Let me out let me out

I am fucking cackling like an old woman i had no idea that a sexually frustrated f-22 was going to be my like my rocket to becoming let me just let me go real quick i so people like ask me and the the bad part of like creating all these characters now is they're all fucking sentient so when something happens they're arguing in my head like they're actual fucking characters now i got buff yelling at f22 yelling at the f15 and fucking iran's popping up again like it happens in my head all the damn time so like with the f22 i was like reading about it i was like oh let's you know we're gonna try and you know create something let's read about the f22 and then i learned like everything that we know it can do

and then some and then it's like this is all the things that are publicly available and i know how uncle sam works there's probably a lot more we don't lie we don't hide shit and i was like you know what but it doesn't have any air to air kills aside and that was before the balloon and i was like well okay i mean you create the most vicious thing in the world and then you just never let it do its job i was like that we know about that we know about yes i just still the government fucking it couldn't just use like bullets or anything else to blow those balloons up we had to use a missile just because it's how much dollars oh uh sidewinder uh i want to say they're okay right yeah they're two to four hundred somewhere in there depending on yeah it's a lot yeah there a house. We threw a house out of balloon.

But if it makes you feel any better. It'd be like a really cool house. I heard, and I've read, I don't know how true it is, but to fly, to literally take an F-22 up, turn it around, and put it back on the ground is around $11 million. Yeah. And our government's like, okay, there's two balloons. Get rid of the anvil. We don't need that.

What we need is a sidewander and that thing to go up there and get some kills. We should have just contacted Grantham and gotten 22 man. He'd be like, I can probably pop a coke can off that fucking balloon. 7 or 10 yards. 22 man for the win. I know there's a new fucking man. I know there's more. The saga continues.

Oh, jeez. So you were like, hey, F-22s, this, and now I have all this going on. All these different characters. And then the content, that was your catalyst. So you're like, what the fuck's going on? Yeah, I started just. How is this the catalyst of it? I don't know.

Like, so originally, I like making fun of pretty much everybody all the time. My family, if you've ever. It's a military thing. You got to get real good at doing that. It's not just that, like even growing up as a kid, like if you see me and all my siblings get together, there's like five seconds of pleasantries and then it's just hours of roasting each other. That's all. It's like, you were the bully. Oh, I was not. I'm the youngest boy. I had to get quick. Oh yeah. Good luck. I had to get quick on my feet. So I got a real sharp tongue and I'm real quick at ducking and weaving. I can,

I can run a few of them. But, uh, so I was, I make fun of all sorts of stuff and I was watching the news and I was like, you know, it'd be really funny is if like planes and country started talking about

that. And I was like, and somebody else was doing that content. His name is fund them BB. And I, he's a friend of mine, you know, on Tik TOK.

I've talked to him before. He was like, he was like, he's still from you. That's what you were saying last night, right? You said he copied you. Copyright strikes were inbound. He's going to see this and be like, that motherfucker.

You keep copyright claims over and over. Just like, knock off YouTube channel! Stealing our shit! Sorry. It's truck month at GMC. Tackle the open road with added confidence in the 2025 Sierra 1500 Pro Graphite

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I'm going to leave that one out. So I find the lighter stories as much as I can. But there are some times I really got to throw some jabs. But I mean, it's everybody getting the smoke, including the US. Absolutely. We deserve it. Silly US. That's what you were saying.

It's like it's treating it as almost South Park where you're like hey i'm just gonna make fun of everyone but then as you said it's also that weird part because you're like they side with the side i'm making fun of thinking that it's like yeah see we're making fun of that side and then vice versa it is it's also like both sides are everyone's making fun of each other and then there's still sides to that it's like he gets it like bro. You can't take this out of context. Yeah, this is satire. Oh, God. That's the only reason I get away with it because it's faceless countries and not like a politician. Like if I put a politician to my eyes and mouth, I'd be getting annihilated by one side.

But because it's just a geographic piece of the planet that I give a personality to, both sides think I'm on their team. Nothing bad could ever happen with geography. That's the only way I'm looking out right now. Sometimes I get a in there and then accents do you do them i do as much as i can this is why i love it because i was like oh he's alive so i love this go on oh gosh which one which one you looking for so russia we always talk about things in mother russia but asian accent oh which one do you want so So I've done two. Oh, he gets it. He gets it.

Because you, at one time, were you like, I'm going to do an Asian accent? Yeah, I didn't want to do them for the longest time because I could just... And then somebody commented, they were like,

why do you only do accents for white countries? And I was like, you know, they fucking like... Thank you. They're right. Okay, so I started doing everybody and I was like,

Japan, Japan. And all that kept popping into my head was like, I'm going to make him sound like an anime bad guy. Yeah, like that. That's a good one. I just went immediately for an anime bad guy. And then for China, I originally did like a China light,

but lately I did like an Uncle Roger, like a hi-ya. Why the hell are you doing this? Hi-ya. That's what I started going with. The people love it. It's just it's so hard. There's so many different people, like countries I'd never even heard of before. They're like, hey, you should do this country. I'm like, I don't with it. People love it. It's just so hard. There's so many different people. Countries I'd never even heard of before. They're like, hey, you should do this country.

Let me Google that country for a little while and try to figure out where it is. Okay, I like that. I like that. Never heard of this China? China? Oh, man. Well, like that whole thing happened in Azerbaijan. I think I pronounced that country right.

Yes. Azerbaijan? Yeah, good enough. I'm sure we're saying it completely wrong it's probably wrong they're not on our demographic list so and i like we'll be after this not even try i like i'll like look on youtube and be like hey you know what is their accent like and you know for poland it's like people like you sound too much like russia but poland is literally like russia light except you speak it in the back of the mouth instead of the front or no sorry the back of the mouth instead of the front. Or no, sorry, the front of the mouth

instead of the back. Like a dick. Yeah. Maybe. But like, so for Russia, it's, you got to have it

all in the back. You have to keep it all in the front. Russia is definitely the front of the mouth. No, no. Russia's in the back. You got the rolling arms.

I cannot roll my arms. I can't roll an arm. I've never rolled an arm. you move pulling into the front and you use less of your jaw and you talk like this and that's that's how you're actually doing I'm trying to look into country I'm trying I'm he's method yeah don't do so most donkey and then like I want to do grease and every time I watch it I was like it sounds like borat so like my grease sounds like every time i watch like 17 youtube videos i was like guys it sounds like borat light like just like diet borat it's fucking diet borat that is no that's it that's the that's there's the episode name diet wait they just fucking i didn't even know gree i thought they would have more of a

every video like mediterranean yeah it was like olympian god sound that's well those they all sound english and white yeah some very zeus yeah yeah they were just like when i was played by russell crowe in a movie yeah that's what gree sounds like in my head russell crowe every time someone says greece they talk about i'm gonna get his flame for that one australian Russell Crowe in a movie. Yeah. That's what Grease sounds like in my head. Russell Crowe. Isn't he Irish? Every time someone says Grease, they talk about old people. I'm going to get flamed for that one. Australian. Australian?

He is. No, he is. Fuck. Oh, I'm fucked. Yeah, because it's... He goes and punches people in the one skit. There was... Oh, my God.

Fight in the world. Yeah, yeah. Fight in the world. There was a whole... There was a YouTube video I just watched of Russell Crowsell crowe actually i should have known he was australian some native australian motherfucker just started saying some crazy uh australian shit like good shit that makes no sense like phrases that are common australia ish like some bogan shit i think that makes sense i think it's like a homeless the isms are real hard to

learn from yeah dude it's rough and and russell crowe spit them back at this guy the guy was like i don't know what that meant russell crowe is he was there when the texts were right he's been there the whole time just russell he is the russell crud like i so when you guys are messing around with like the the british accent i went with like Ewan McGregor oh good no absolutely so like for my United Kingdom it's very light

and it's very like I don't even know what I would say like the other day I was walking through the mold and like that's

I go with like with a light one but then Australia hello there yeah I had to go a little bit heavier but then like there's so many

different like versions of the United Kingdom in different places so like Scotland is its own thing and like the Scots I love you scots i love you guys real quick what rank are you i am a star first class e7 i just love it's an e7 on his spare time it's like what do australians sound like one second private

stand by hey come here stand ease. Tell me what you think. Oi. Is it good? Is it good? I can't say the C word anymore. I wanted you to say it. I know. And you're like, oh, I bleeped that out. You said it.

Bleep that out. Oi. I said it. I want to say it. Yeah. You can say it too if you want. Could I bleep it out? Just bleep it out.

See, I got the pass from the Australians. When I started using the Australians they were Like hey from Australia. I give you a pass and I'm like look if Australians give me a pass I'm gonna use it YouTube doesn't give us Matter of fact they slap us on the dick really hard they will find that one we have like bad episodes We're like no, it's good, but you said the C word in one. No there well There's that one episode I said it like 14 times in a row because I was like, there's no way this is going to get us flagged.

And I was like, it did. It did. Turns out it did. My bad. That's on me. So you were doing countries. You're like, okay,

I'm going to learn each one of these. I'm going to continue catering my content around this. Yep. And then now you probably have the military people recognizing you well at work. Oh yeah. All the time. I, so I, you had a higher up. I did. I was, I was at a graduation. I teach in a schoolhouse and I was at a graduation and I'm walking by and there's a CW five. Keep in mind, I've only seen three of them in my entire military career. I've seen, I had, there was one I worked with. That was pretty cool. cool and he like i'm walking by and he like grabs my shoulder and goes hey i love your videos man you're hilarious i'm like

i was like ricky bobby i don't know what to do with my hands i just stood there next to this cw five jesus help me tom cruise he's just shooting the shit with me i was like i don't know what to do yeah what do you double salute just both eyebrows baby both eyebrows i'm in it was the weirdest experience and then like damn yeah and then uh i got asked to be the mc for the backbone ball on base and it's funny because everyone except for the post sergeant major knew who i was so like i'm doing my set and i'm ultimately my set was just roasting the marine corps different branches of the army different mos's i was just roasting the coast guard uh They weren't there for that one. Just Army, Marine Corps, and then... That's when you definitely poke at them.

They're not there to defend themselves. But I want to say something to you. I want to say it to your face. No, the only thing he says is like, let's give it up for the fucking Coast Guard. And then no one... You listen? There we go. Okay, there we go. Weird. Moving on! Woo!

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what we were doing with this i think that like there are some that don't like what we do in the military i get that but then there are some that don't like what we do in the military and I get that, but then there are some that are realizing like, Hey, this is good press. These people are like giving a recruiting crisis. They're like letting people see how the military actually works. And I mean, obviously you're going to only hear about the planes that didn't land, right. You know, instead of the ones that do, but like, you know, for every, every bad news story, you have people like bringing the good news out. I mean, so ultimately, like, the Army, and here's my recruitment pitch, right? It's a great place to work.

I love my job. I love what I do. That's why I continue to do it. But, like, we need people, man. I ain't going to lie to you. Like, we need people bad. I have no doubt, man. Like, right now, I can't even imagine the recruiting with the new generation and TikTok.

And it is hard it's like because now you have less of this sense of like national pride where you're like america i mean even then the war is over for us and it is yeah when we don't have i peacetime military is a harder time to join because even as an infantry dude i can't my buddy's a state and i've told it it's such a vastly different military than when i was in you have peacetime army which this is 2010 was considered peacetime army for my boys they were like what the fuck is all of this shit i am not used to driving around at night with lights on like that was a mind-blowing experience you're like why do we have lights on why are we doing paperwork 2015 uh when i was getting out uh we were getting, because it was during, I was in during like the big downshift and shit.

And I remember everyone was like, oh, we're going back to peacetime. So we would do drill and ceremony shit. Just like, I was an entryman. I was like, like this? We're going to march? Yeah. And left fate? Why do you have a flag what it was it was very very surreal and even then that's 2016 yeah or 2015 sorry i i was victim to that down that down

shift too so i went to afghanistan in 2010 to 2011 and then i came back and i love my job i was a 19 kilo i wasn't much of one like i did one or two well one tank gunnery like one and a half technically i was a driver for one but um and then right before afghanistan nine months prior they took away our tanks gave us gave me an m14 sent me to designated marksman's course and they're like hey you're gonna walk everywhere in afghanistan so cool that was wonderful but i came back and i was like i want to do this again let me reenlist i went over to retention they're like cool pick a new job or get out. And I was like, what, what? And all they told me, they're like, they offered me two air defense jobs and one vet tech job. And they're like, uh, I was like, what's the difference between the air defense jobs? They're like, one shoots the missile.

One tells them how to shoot the missile. Uh, that was dead wrong. By the way, retention NCO, if you're seeing this, you were completely retention. Yeah. Imagine that. Color, you shocked. Eli, make the face. They were like, bro, we'll offer you a million dollar sign-on bonus. You'll probably get paid about six figures starting. $400,000 a year. Sign this paperwork.

Eli, can I tell you something? I have a confession. I enlisted in 2009. Same. And I enlisted in the A for Tree in 2009. Willingly. That was my choice. Cheers, camp. You're a fuck.

Thanks for ruining me. And I didn't get any sign-on bonus. I did it for pure love of country. It won't take long to tell you Neutrals ingredients. Vodka. S soda, natural flavors. So, what should we talk about? No sugar added. Neutral.

Refreshingly simple. Why didn't they give you a sign on bonus? There was no bonuses for all of 2009. Oh, yeah, because that was the downturn of the IRAC. I got one in 09. I got a grand. That was it. You just got it. Bro, 2010 and 11, all the new guys that were joining into the scouts were getting like 15 and 20 grand bonuses.

So ours was 20 grand for our three-year sign-off. Yeah, 20 grand. You want to hear something crazy? So with everything going on in Ukraine, so short-range air defense, we call it SHORAD, almost went away. Like almost disappeared in the Army. And then like everything happened in Ukraine. They're like, we need short-range air defense for like drones and lasers. Suddenly we need to make some shit.

Like we need to figure this shit out real quick so they brought back or they changed it was 14 sierras now they're 14 papas which uh they do like man-ped stingers they do the directed energy m-shore rad the freaking kinetic m-shore like they got a bunch of new cool shit do you guys fuck with javelins and shit too or no no okay i went to school with some javelin guys so i didn't that was but they when they started bringing them back, those guys, I'm going to say this as loud as I can, they have Tier 8 bonuses right now. Do you know what Tier 8 sounds like? I don't know.

What are Tier bonuses? Like a Super Saiyan 4? Like over $50,000. Tier 8 bonuses. Oh, that's like how the Air Force. Well, $50,000 now is $20,000 in 2010, right? It's way shit, right? Air Force guys. So even Holtz, you're JT right? Holtz. It's lame shit, right? Air Force, guys.

So even Holtz, you're JTAC. Holtz, I know you're out there. It would be like $80,000 for five years. And this is back when I was in. Oh, yeah, back then. And this was like 80 grand sign-on bonuses. I'd be like, what? Infantry's only like 20 grand.

And then you see JTAC. Holtz, I know you lived in a fucking on base and a nice AC chew. Cause I got to see like, we'd have to rotate the base to pick him up because he was attached to us. And then we'd go out on the mission and rotate back to base, drop him off. So he can go in. He's like,

all right guys, have a good night in your dirt hole. Yeah. And he would have your, your plywood hut. And then we'd leave. And I'd be like in the, then it's back to just out in sector.

Plywood? Yeah. I can't say nothing now. That's how I live. I mean, like, I mean. This is at the exact same time when he was attached to our unit, and that's what was weird. I was like, what the fuck? This is how JTACs live?

This is the Air Force? Where did I fuck up at? Well, it starts with the GED. Far right there. there's a line right between ged infantry high school diploma jtech like that everything else yeah i i actually had a high school diploma so but and i had one and then i still ended up being an air defender which is like we're the smartest dumb people that exist in the world but your job is like you you are huge into the missile system i was like i'm a missile i'm a missile junkie i almost said something real

stupid there but yeah tell us all the stuff you can't tell us oh yeah so all right let's uh let's go ahead and go to jail gentlemen black yeah all right go with the black. Yeah. All right. We're going to go to the War Thunder subreddit real quick. And then we're going to talk about. So the effective range and capabilities. Well, I found this on the dark web. It's just the manual for the F-35. It's fine. We can share that.

We're good with that. What do you mean it's not updated on DCF? Yeah, no. So I came over to it. And for me, I was stupid for like three years right and I was like I'm a tanker only three only three only three. Well now I'm a jealous. I'm a different going strong 33 I'm a different kind of stupid now. That's what it is So I was I was still in that 19 kilo mentality like I'm a tanker. I'm a tanker

So they like had me in process people and I was on gate guard like I was unusable and then I was just like I I was garbage man i love that that is such a military term to call a person unusable like i just wasn't good so like go stand at parade rest over there just go check ids yeah it was go find a different parking lot bro go stand in one huh i ain't gonna lie to you. I liked it. Huh? Huh? You see music back to. Yeah, back to parade rest. I ain't gonna lie to you.

I was such a bad gate guard. And I'm sorry. This is years ago. So hopefully there's a statute of limitations. I would like, like grab the idea. Just be like, welcome to Fort Sill. Team Sill Oklahoma Pride. Have a good day.

And I wouldn't even like look at it. Yeah, it's like. Is it still called Fort Sill? It's still called Fort Sill. Okay. That one didn't change. Okay. There's a bunch on the data.

Fort Bragg is now Liberty. That's the only one I remember. All the other ones have actual people names, and I'm never going to remember those because I'm dumb. Fort Hood is now Fort Cavazos. They've all switched. No, there's the one. Oh, no. It's the sniper guy, Vietnam.

Hancock? No. Moorcock. He was a colonel. Colonel Moorcock. Colonel Moore. Oh, Colonel Moore. He wasn't a sniper. He was a colonel. Colonel Moorcock. Colonel Moore. Oh, Colonel Moore. He wasn't a sniper.

He was a battalion commander. Yeah, but he worked with snipers. He wrote an entire book. I just wanted the word Moore. You ever see the movie We Were Soldiers? That's about Colonel Moore. Yes, yes. Oh, shit.

Yeah, that's Colonel Moore. Damn it. I add that to my list of really good war movies. That's a great war movie. We Were Soldiers is a fucking great movie. One of my favorites. Oh, my God. That's a great war movie. We Were Soldiers is a fucking great movie. One of my favorites. Oh, my God. That Sergeant Major is probably the greatest representation of a Sergeant Major you will ever have in the military.

Oh, God. It was so good. What do you know about a good goddamn day? Were you the fucking weatherman? Oh, it's so good, man. Every one of his lines are like, fuck yes, Sergeant Major. I had a Sergeant Major when I first got over to air defense land. And he, like, people, when he would show up in the motor pool,

like, people would be hiding in, like, BII boxes. They'd pop out, like, SAR Major's coming. No one wanted to be there. But he was just, like, he honestly, he was a direct dude. And he just, like, wanted direct answers. And air defenders were just terrified of him. So eventually I learned this. And he'd, like, come down the line to check our vehicles on a Friday or whatever.

And he'd ask him, what are you doing this weekend and they don't you know i'm gonna go play video games star major and he's like and he just like start yelling and screaming so he got down to me and i was like i'm gonna make some shit up and uh he's like what are you doing this weekend alone and i was like well it's our major i plan on having uh copious amounts of unprotected sex with my wife while drinking lots of whiskey and eating bacon and he's like that's what the fuck i'm talking about just kept on just that was it that's all he wanted well we had um a dude i was probably one of the only i just had a cq so it was a 24 hour cq oh yeah i passed out i was like well my ass is going to bed in my fucking barracks room at that time i was out sergeant major i do remember reina in the

cam telling me the story they're were like, bro, fucking Sergeant Major walked in while you were just passed out. Cam was like, at ease. And this is in our barracks rooms. I was passed out because it was fucking work day. Oh, I'm dumb. I'm so sorry. It was Major John Plaster, not more. I'm going to shut up now. Sniper and

Plaster. So it's fucking passed out. I'm out. Sergeant Major Fya is walking. No, it was green at the time. Walks into the room. At ease. And then I'm passed out. And this is when I was younger and I slept through anything.

So I was just like. And they're like, at ease. Sergeant Major Freya is like, soldier. Soldier. All this. Since I didn't budge or anything and I had no recollection. No. He's like, oh, soldier, soldier. All this. Since I didn't budge or anything, and I had no regulation. You thought you were dead? No.

He was like, oh, well, shit. And they're like, he was on CQ. I don't know if Sergeant Major. And then he just left. He's like, OK, well, let him sleep. Left. I went another four hours of sleep. Woke up and was like, hmm, good day.

I'm like, bro, Sergeant Major was in here yelling at you. And you were just like, just out cold. I was like, wait, what? I was like, Sergeant Major was in the room yelling at me. Did you see that person? You said his name? Yeah, I was like, Sergeant Major was here. He was here.

Why didn't you wake me? Oh, trust us. We tried, Quavis. Am I in trouble? No. You're like, all right. Yeah, like, wh You're like, all right. Yeah, like,

okay, all right. It was those times in fucking military. It's just like no different than falling asleep at your rifle. Oh,

yeah. You got so good at it and then they would be like, you were sleeping. You'd be like, no, sorry. You just wake up real calm.

You're like, yo, what's up? I was pulling security. I was swapping eyes to keep The eye fatigue Like oh good so Who's older carry on

You do learn to sleep anywhere man That stuff just I normally Doesn't go away I have trouble falling asleep in my bed Put me on a couch though Game over put me on the fucking floor Somewhere I'll sleep Uncomfortable somewhere You put me on a couch though game over put me on the fucking floor somewhere i'll sleep uncomfortable and you're just in a vehicle uncomfortable somewhere i you put me in a

passenger seat of a shitty car oh how cold like a baby i uh so when we go to the field good old patriot land right like we have tents and shit i just never i've never been a fan of sleeping in tents even like when it's raining and stuff you guys still have the little one man fuck tents no we have like we use gp medium stuff as air defense gets everything we still have m16s, bro Like we get everything last I was the National Guard and we had We are 16 a fours or a choose like this big big three three on burst ones only so we wait the ones with that Do they have do they have the big fixed stock? Yes big fixed stock. Well, not that it is more on the teens or 20s

The front look like just a longer version the m4 is the two people But you got the plastics on the top and sides just on top bottom is just to up. Oh like it's a circle Yeah, the tube. Yeah, the plastic tube that goes over there. Yeah, you're rails. No rails. No rails. Yeah, we had no rails Oh, so you got the a twos and nothing? Yeah, we couldn't even remove the little carrying handle to put like an a-cog on it you had to like yeah so m16 just let me because you got the that is amazing if you got like the super shit so oh you didn't have these rails uh no no we had the no picatinny's you had like the og gross you had the a2s yeah i think so if you get a picture of it yeah we had no old picatinny's you had like the og gross you had the eight tubes yeah i think so

if you get a picture of it yeah we had no no no uh rails on it at all yep that's what we had what year was this uh that 2000 the top and bottom last time i was in a line unit was 2018 it's fun that's wild 2018 yeah because i went i, I spent four years at the test set testing new systems, and then I've now spent two years where I'm at right now. That's bonkers. Yeah.

The SDMs in our unit had the A4s, which I believe they had the pick rails, but they were still M16s. That was, again, in 2010, or technically it was 2009 when they got them, but that all went away in we all got m4s we're like we had uh we got rid of we even got rid of our our m14s we had uh 110s wow you guys had 110s nice yeah we what the fuck we were infantry no we are we had one or two 110s in

our entire battalion when i was still like it's a ground pounder stuff. It's like a 762 M16 pretty much, 762 M16 pretty much. Semi-automatic sniper system, the tan. Oh, that shit was coming out after I was. Yeah, probably. The army had just started adopting that one. It was, so that. When did you get out?

2008, so that was getting cycled in 2009. Yeah, we were probably getting them in 08, 09. Yeah, because we had them, the sniper section had them in. Yeah, it was just our sniper section. 09, 08, 09, and 08, 09. Yeah, because we had them, the cyber section had them in 08, 09, 010. Jesus, in 10. Yeah, 010. Well, hello, good sirs. I know what you're thinking.

Eli, why is your hair so coiffed? Well, let me show you. That is thanks to the delectable, wonderful, out-of-regs men's grooming product. Thanks to operator ProMade, my hair, even with a hat on, a fine cowboy hair, it stays perfectly coiffed and wonderful. Also we got beard creams. Or perhaps you want a high shine. Also if you're a basic bitch like me.

Pumpkin spice. It smells like pumpkins. They also have shampoo, conditioner, beard cream, and beard oil. Out of ranks.com. Code cum. Yeah, I remember them discussing that entire transition into that weapons. I fucking hate it. Yeah, I know.

It was EBR. It's just a heavier. It's longer. The suppressor on it's like 18 inches long. They're so unwieldy they're heavy it doesn't shoot it's not a sub minute one minute gun it's like a three minute fucking gun yeah the bad minute angle

you shoot it to 800 you're like can't it doesn't want to it's physically impossible no it's possible it's just not fun they had us angry at our marksman course we had to reach out to 1,000, and I hit it once. So on top of our rifles, and I'm going to pronounce this wrong. Someone's going to get mad at me in the comment section.

I guarantee it. Stupid. Leupold, Leopold. I always fucking remember. Leupold. There we go. We had Leupold Mark IVs on top of it, and it was a great scope. It's a phenomenal scope.

I know. He asked me. You were like, oh, did your EBR have the Leupold? I was like, I don't know. ACOG. I assure you, the military, you had ACOG, EOTech, and M68 Red Dots. Like that's. M68.

The 68s, man, back in the day. I went from an M68 to an ACOG, and then all of our long guns were all Leupold. Mark IV HDs. It's a great scope, but if you, like, for everyday carry, like, well, I say everyday carry, but, like, you're running patrols, you, like, you bounce off of a wall or you trip and fall down a mountain, your zero's immediately off. Really? It just would not hold a zero to save its damn life. Yeah, shit, dude.

I promise I have dropped a 110 a time or two. I don't know. This is different. I had fucking M68. Well, you look at M68 wrong, and the red dot was like... No, no. And then acogs are what we use the like i was just so good i like it it's a good it's a good optic like it's just you can't fuck up an acog you really can't they're solid beat the shit out of those things have fun and

we had the m9s and then i remember shooting the m9 over there doing like i was like what the fuck pistols because everyone in the military this is a little known fact, we don't use pistols in it. Ever. Dude, in wartime, the amount of questions, it would be like, oh, what was your sidearm? It's like, bro, if I had to use a sidearm. Something was bad. You remember Blackhawk Down? That level of bad.

He had the M9 at the end. He was dying. That means everyone of my machine guning team, the SAWS. So when you have a platoon, you have one team that is dedicated to two 240 problem. You have heavy. You have your heavy weapons. Every then squad has two SAWS. Yep.

And then you have your SDMs. You have everything in between. Fucking M4s. The only people that will have a fucking pistol is the officers or an LT. That is about it. So for us, our SDMs also had it. I had a Beretta.

Oh, see, we didn't. So to be fair, we all were assigned them. I shot a pistol three times in my entire six years with all the time I did as a sniper. And two of those times were in competitions where they forced us to do it one time i had to call with one and obviously i did because military pistol calls not hard but it's like you don't pistols are hard like they don't teach you the proper way like no they're

just like target go it's four feet in front of you they so training you for us like i was being a 19 kilo everyone has to qualify with a pistol like everybody cuz you have a lot of that is so wild You have them in the tanks cuz oh, yeah, holy shit. I didn't even think about that their tank It would be your fucking like your primary weapon in there. You gotta pop the hatch Well, you didn't have to do that for qualification. I just picture it's like, it's like, go, go, go. You have to open the hatch, engage target three times. Oh shit. Shooting sideways.

Make sure everybody can see it. Dude, a tank is such a weird thing because like, it rides like a Cadillac. Like people assume tanks are just rickety. Like they ride like a Cadillac. Even on washboard roads,

they're so fucking smooth. No, not on the outside. Inside. Wow. This is wonderful. Bill it's just loud but it's very comfortable shop with racketing and you'll get it what's it it's the best deal the highest cash back the most savings on your shopping so join racketing and start getting cash back at sephora uniclo, Expedia, and other stores you love. You can even stack sales on top of cash back. Just start your shopping with Rakuten to save money at over 750 stores. Join for free at Rakuten.ca or download the Rakuten app.

That's R-A-K-U-T-E-N, Rakuten.ca. Cut to outside. The downside is, is there's so much friction from the pads on the ground. When you hit the brakes, you can stop. You can go 42 miles an hour, which is what they're governed at. And they can go to a complete stop in under 10 feet, which 72 tons stopping in 10 feet is violent. Every soldier in the front is like, we're good. They just hit the wall. The F-152 truck. Just violent.

I have a red mark on my face from slapping myself so hard. So I went to basic at Fort Knox. And so they had this thing called the mud course. And the mud course was only accessible by tracked vehicles. And the only reason it was that way is because you would go out and sink to the bottom and be able to drive on the hard shit. And Humvees would just go out buried in the frame and they wouldn't go anywhere. Like that was it.

So we were riding around out there and we supposed to do like for Fort Knox, you're supposed to do a, like a patrol base or something for your final thing. Cool. I'm driving. And when you drive a tank, it's, it's a T handle.

You got like a little thing right here to select which gear you want and you're just like laid back like a lazy boy And you're just cruising like that's the throttle right there on the tank. Oh, it's a fucking handle Yeah, it's just like a tank so bad and that's that's how it is So I was cruising and you can see fender fender and then why don't you and then you so it's one one single camera open right camera slot slot periscopes you do fuck those periscopes, but at night you can back in the day We had an old periscope one now. They have a flip down thermal and you have a thermal out the okay Yeah, I remember strikers had the the little fucking yeah You can't see nothing time I didn't focus Okay, so this is the striker. This is your vision on a striker.

Hold on. But it's only this wide too. And then you're driving at 70 miles an hour. And you're like, hey, Big Sarge, should I turn? And you, oh, fuck it. You remember driving with thermals at night? Oh, God. No depth perception.

And there's no depth. And then hard turns on mountain cliffs. You're just like It was the only time I would get nervous is I was driving in Yakima because I had to drive. And it was like, okay and turn! Because you're like

Because you can't see left or right. You have a screen. There's no peripheral. There's no turning detector mirrors. Horse blinders. And it's just turn. And then you'll either hear like, no, your turn. Hold on. Slow down. Oh, shit.

Shit. You're getting yelling. You're like. And I'm a private. Fucking E7s are yelling at me. Oh, man. Yeah. So when you're driving one of those things, you forget how big it is.

Because I mean, you have a 1,500 horsepower gas turbine. Like, it's got some beans up underneath the hood. She's got some beans. You has got some beans. Hey, don't judge my sayings here, okay?

That's a Mexican thing. It's got Mexicans under the hood. That's crazy. It's got a whole lot of gold. It's powered by Mexicans. You pop the, ¿Cómo estás? Hola, señor.

De señor. We are working. Jesus. I will never not love every time Eli, because you don't speak Spanish. That is my favorite fact.

That is my favorite thing about you. Batty closes the hood. He's like, I got some dice and I won him. Yes! Yes! Yes! I own this tape now!

In all of its... Señor, close the hatch. So, we're cruising and there's an aspen tree in front of me that's probably six inches around. I mean, it's a good size aspen tree. Wait, six inches is a good size? That sounds like a great size, right? Great. For diameter of an aspen tree.

Yeah, that's, yeah, six inches. I mean, a solid six-inch tree. Jesus. No more measurements for me. Anyways, and there's a tree right in front of me, and I'm like, hey, Sarn, I'm going to hit this tree if I don't move. And he's like, you're fine. I was like, should I turn?

And he's like, no, you're fine. And I just see the gun right over top of me just kind of turn over the side to be out of the way. And I didn't even feel this tree. It just went down in front of me. I was like, I am invincible. I felt amazing. And then I almost drowned a little while later.

Because, like, I drove into this, like, hill. It was like a pond. And I go in, and he's like, give it everything she's got. And I'm like, everything this fucking tank had. I see the water come up the front slope. And all i see is bubbles in my periscopes and water starts pouring in through the driver's hatch so i'm like full throttle with one hand trying to turn on the bilge pump with the other like i'm i'm panicking

severely panicking and finally i see light in my periscopes and we just start climbing out of this fucking tank full of water oh yeah what are now your tank's full of water? What are you doing with your tank's full of water? Bilge pump, 50 gallons a minute. She'll clear herself out real quick. Jesus Christ, it's just like... Tanks are so fucking cool, bro. Oh, it just throws it off the side. You ever seen an Abrams bilge pump? It'll just throw it out the side like 25...

Yes, all the times when me and the Abrams were near water in Iraq. In Iraq. I know what you're talking about. The jungles of Iraq, yes. My bad. You know when it's just dumping? No, I don't. I have a very important question. I have a very important answer.

Where are you going? Can I get one of those Coronas? Yeah, oh my God. Well, this is great. Because if Eli's not here, there's no point in asking this question. Okay. No, what do you mean? Pete, faster!

You want to talk about video games that's i was gonna ask about fucking jesus i forgot i could do this it's like a secret sorry so i've been assaulted uh when eli gets back eventually if he ever does come back he's down i mean okay it's fantastic you know it is really relaxing in the morning when i'm like if i you know yeah if we're not like sometimes you just want to chill at night when i don't want to turn the lights on because i'm tired it's a good fuel dump see i don't i don't pee in a fuel dump yeah i got them right here you want to cry

i don't pee in the dark oh that's why i sit to pee absolutely yeah that's the only time you i do it to not make a bunch of noise for sav and then you don't want to turn the light because you don't know which one's the light or the fan you're like i'm just gonna guess i'm not i'm gonna say yeah i just said i'm like fuck it i'm so who says they don't sit to pee is a liar or an idiot. And it's easier with my vagina. Okay. Very important question. What do you think about Titanfall 2? What?

Titanfall 2. That's his jam. I know. What do you think about it, Eli? Haven't played it in a long time. Oh, you're missing out. Well, okay eli haven't played it in a long time oh you're missing out well okay nobody's played in a long time oh i played it last week yeah well well he started first class okay randomly uh one of our buddies i was i fucking told him one of the guys that used to work at brcc he actually started doing his own short using Unreal 5.

He's building out an actual short with real life and Titanfall 2 assets. And he's doing a fucking really good job. He sent me a clip. I was like, yo, when the fuck did you learn how to do this shit? That's awesome. I've just been working on it a while. I was like, I was bored of ADHD. I don't know if hyperfixations are a drug.

Dude, it's fucking crazy the level of, I told you. I was like, yeah, apparently he's doing, I don't know why I was like, I was bored of ADHD. I don't know if hyperfixations are a drug. Dude, it's fucking crazy the level of, I told you, I was like, yeah, apparently he's doing, I don't know, I need to watch it more in depth. I would love to see that. Whenever it gets done, let me know. I will watch that thing in its entirety. Titanfall 2 is one of the greatest FPS's

that was ever made. And it's a fucking shame that it doesn't have a bigger fan base. Titanfall 2, hey, Titanfall, if you want to do it right, do a fucking free-for-all of titanfall if you do a um uh like a last man standing king of the hill style with titanfall like war zone or anything that is that next level i think that i think the

next way the next thing is going forward instead of stuff like that is going to be survival shooters like uh your escape from tarkov got real big like survival shooters where it's at yeah that's i agree survival shooters are definitely i's at. That's- I agree, survival shooters are definitely where it's at. I think that's the way forward. Because Battle Royales I feel like was a fad, and then it's kind of coming down, now it's survival shooters.

I could tell the skin tones were bleeding off from that. We left the kitchen light on across the way. I said chat. We lost the kitchen light on, so Eli is now gonna be mad for the first 45 minutes of this hour and six minutes of this podcast. Well, I was like, like man our skin tones are slightly off and i couldn't tell why until finally i was like that fucking i like look over i seen

that yellow sorry it's fucking titanfall changed how fps works yeah absolutely it made where you're like doing running and like wall jumping and anything like like advanced warfare cod's first foray yeah advanced warfare because of titanfall because titanfall succeeded at the movement-based shooter it succeeded at the grapple better than anybody else i'm sorry fight me finishers uh finishers the finishers in titanfall are the most brutal things you've ever seen in your life they are wild like for the legion you can pick somebody up with a minigun that has bayonets on it and blow a hole through them with your minigun it's it's just oh it's artwork it's gorgeous you just made me realize titanfall is the reason other companies started incorporating

something that everyone hated yeah and it was hated outside of titanfall because other companies were like yo we all need to have grappling hooks, sliding, jumping, and running on walls. And then every company has now taken that away because Titanfall, it worked. Every other game, they're like, why the fuck did you? It's like, what if all of our guys are wearing exoskeletons now? Yeah, it was wild. Call of Duty, and everyone hated that shit. The shit fucking game Advance Warfare was.

Oh, God, yes. Well, because Titanfall is like, it's the cool idea of mechs and soldiers like opera Dude, it was the bond the campaign is our I mean the only my only complaint is that it's so short The campaign with Cooper and BT is arguably one of the best campaigns of any video game that I've ever made I will choose campaign was amazing But not so much fun. That's when you do it right. That's why like certain games Xenogears did like small big Titanfall. It's like the quickness of like going from human to mech.

Having your calling in your Titan still one of the coolest. It's a phenomenal. You hear it, you look. And plus like on the battlefield I'm not a running gunner so I'm kind of like a bitch on foot and then I just get this 20 foot robot to drop in and I go from fuck around to find out. Like that's, oh hey cool. Let me get into me get into this thing go figure the tanker's like give me the big gun

don't judge me you want to see when the next like blast off in military like people signing up is when we have gundams everyone will be a gun i will sign back up and the military of the united states was like a commercial just is like hey out there. We need you in these mechanized Gundams. I'm like yo what off I'll be there tomorrow Let me test the shit that doesn't work it like maybe there's an upper limit and test me if I die I die Let's go do it. Oh Beat of God I am a fucking I am driving a Gundam. I could be 80 of

Go Flying in the combat Series with Kaiju's in the Gundams that they weren't gonna know the first movie was phenomenal Pacific Rim. Thank you It doesn't exist doesn't exist. Okay, I'm gonna say something Jews in the Gundams, but they weren't Gundams? So, the first movie was phenomenal. Pacific Rim. Pacific Rim. Don't even touch. It doesn't exist. It doesn't exist. Okay, I'm gonna say something. Visually stunning. Okay. Well, yeah, but I mean the... Everything else about it sucked. I can actually tie that into, like, my job now, right?

So, bear with me here. Are Gundams real? Stay with me. You just described Star Wars Episode I to me. The army made Gundams. So, stay with me. Visually stunning. When you fight... I'm going into missile nerd land here real quick. Star Wars Episode I. The army made Gundams. So stay with me. Visually stunning. Episode I. I'm going into missile nerd land here real quick. I'm perfect. I'm ready.

So when you fight the system, there's three of you. There's the TCA, Tactical Control Assistant, who is ultimately in charge, but it's the NCO side. Then you have the TCO, which is the Tactical Control Officer. Wow, that's hard to say. Is he a butter bar? Usually a butter bar. Sometimes a captain and then in the middle you have the camo guy cso communication system we love camo right

and i had a camo guy that i swear to god he had three hands i watched this dude type in merc while talking on the radio and troubleshooting something with an sk he was holding that i bro he was phenomenal his name was hansen best dude i ever trained love you and um I like, we have ABMLs, which are air battle management levels. And to build these, I built a lot of air battles. And I built one called Body Bag that I used to train my guys with. And you're out of missiles in like 15 minutes. The only reason I called it Body Bag instead of Kobayashi Maru is there wasn't enough characters in there. Kobayashi Maru!

Yeah, I couldn't call it Kobayashi Maru. Okay? Like, it was brutal. But anyways, so as you go through these air bottle management levels, like once you get to like, I don't know, eight or nine, you can't fight by yourself. Like I can beast a Lieutenant through a level five. Like, did you been sit there? Shut up. I'll do everything. That's fine. Whatever. I'm just clicking away and I'm doing everything. Once you get up there, it's so for me to like mentally think it was cool. I used to like,

Hey, this is like Pacific Rim. We're both, both half hats, halves of a brain. And we have to work together. So like, once you get up there, it's like, who has time to do it?

It's no longer, this is your job. You guys need to find a 70 year old kid. That's good at call of duty right now. And he'll do it all. 100%. The only downside is the number of USB, it number pads upside down.

So number one's on the top left instead of the bottom, right? Why Raytheon gonna raytheon bro i hate that that's what i'm used to for number pads it's the tops because that's how i memorize numbers is because it's one two three four five six oh yeah i can i mean i can to this day like blast i can blast oh yeah yeah that's how i memorize numbers if people are like numbers and i don't pull my phone out to write it down like I was like, no, trust me. I have a sequence in my head and it's my tism takes over.

I'm like, okay, good. Got it. I'm like, it's a beat. I'll be reading something and typing the numbers without looking and then I look at the computer and I'm like, those are all the wrong numbers. Fuck. I'm like, because I'm not used to a regular

keyboard. Damn it. Silver bitch. But we were, we were, we were. Gundams. Fucking Max. Pacific Rim.

Titanfall. I have Titanfall Narnia news. So we dove. Are you guys ready to go into Titanfall? This I need to, we went down, we dipped our toes in before the podcast. I am a Titanfall junkie,

right? So I have, for those of you who don't know, I have a big old pilot helmet and the words Protocol 3 on my leg. Oh, yeah. We love thigh tattoos around here. Protocol 3 being protect

the pilot. If you've played Titanfall 2, you understand exactly what that means. So, pull him out. Very recently, Titanfall about six months ago was a victim of a DDoS attack just like Apex Legends. By the way, just to be clear, Titanfall about six months ago was victim of a DDoS attack, just like a apex legends. By the way, just,

just to be clear, Titanfall two was still active, still active. Most of you didn't know that. I promise. Yeah. So out of nowhere, they fixed it.

They fixed it overnight, but they didn't just fix it. They didn't just fix the game. Like, Hey, no longer DDoS attack. We're moving on. They did a playlist update.

Haven't done a playlist update in four years. They put a new game mode in. It's just three question marks. And the description says your missiles will blot out the sun. Right? It's a reference to 300. Yep. I've heard of it. You know what the 300th day of the year is?

October 27th, which is one day after the Titanfall 2 release date. I was like, I don't, my son, my autistic son would have, he'd be like, it's October 27th, daddy. You would know to a day how cool riding things are. So they did, originally, a lot of the maps had exploits. You could get outside the map, and they patched all those exploits. They've existed for six years since the game came out. And they patched them, and when they patched the areas that people were going outside the map,

they dropped a little plushie called Nessie in that area, which is synonymous with the Titanfall and Apex universe. So if you didn't know, Apex is in the Titanfall universe. They're all like fucking criminals. Yes, every time. Okay, hold on. I did not know this. Did you ever wonder why the Apex jet jump packs

and everything looked identical to that of Titanfall? Also Valkyrie. Yeah. Valkyrie and Apex. You kill her dad in Titanfall 2. His name is Viper. And every time I ever, by the way, every time a Valkalkyrie and apex killed

me i went back to titanfall and killed your dad i just want you to know that every single time you not know apex apex is just is free for as bad as titanfall's battle royale but just they were like we're not going to add the giant mechs when you it's a prison island prisoners fighting in the campaign the guy drops a card on the front of your titan that says apex on it like yeah my dumb ass just like breathes through oh yeah so there's that right there's that there's that revelation for there's that so everyone's thinking october 27th now there are some people i don't know if i believe this one that went straight in so when they reshuffled copium yeah well yeah when they reshuffled the playlist right dead center is called uh was it the other side or outside or something like that

uh it's a red hot chili pepper song right the other side yeah red hot chili pepper song it's gonna be bad other side but that is the third song on that cd so people are thinking titanfall 3 but when the new apex patch i guess came out somebody was digging through the code somewhere and found a pretty much a sentence and I'm paraphrasing here I'm sure somebody on in chat will be able to not chat a comment. Yeah, I'm sorry Yeah, we'll be able to correct me on this. It says something along the lines of transmission incoming operator Was it Nessie?

Right and then it says it has three number sequences and then it says dot dot dot the first number sequence when you break it Down is the release date of Titanfall 1 Second one is release date of Titanfall 2 third one is release date of Titanfall 1. Second one is the release date of Titanfall 2. Third one is the release date of Titanfall 3. And then it says dot, dot, dot. No, the third one is the release date of Apex. Or Apex, sorry. Not Titanfall 3.

Sorry, Apex. Not Titanfall 3. And then there's the dot, dot, dot. Then there's the dot, dot, dot. So we're hoping something's coming October 27th, but we don't know. I really like Titanfall. That's what we're getting. He's a fucking nerd!

I went down the rabbit hole man as i would say i would sign up to the military instantly if we got fucking mechs immediately you want to know how you get fucking that you show us mechs build a mech raytheon general dynamics what the fuck they probably already have one look i've worked with some of these companies and it's just like they're just waiting for a contract to come around, and then when the contract comes around, they're like, yeah, we just started working on this, and I look at it, and I'm like, no. A trillion dollars.

If the Army was like, we can't figure out how to recruit people, and then Raytheon's like, oh, man, this is so hard. Well, listen to this podcast. Cut us in for 1%. That's all it takes. Half a percent. Half. Quarter. What's Half a percent. Half. Quarter. What's half a percent of a trillion?

I will design it as an artist. You do the engineering part. I'll just make him look gangster and do cool shit. I want ghost flames. Yeah. And then we just reap the rewards. And then you're going to watch so many people join overnight.

Dear God, the commercial. If it's like, bro. Oh, my God. Imagine it. Literally. No, no. You have the American flag first and it zooms in. It's a guy standing saluting.

It's like during the military or whatever. And then it slowly zooms out. And he's standing on the platform where he would climb into the mech and the mech saluting. No, Batty, this. I like it because it's the flag in the background you have you gotta have no oh yeah sound oh yeah you want viral you want this no you want this just a dude it's like this and the flag behind him like right here to the side yeah and then you hear it's like join the military and you're like what and then the mech lands behind him

like fucking just right behind dust kicks up and that mech's like and sleuths behind him with a bigger flag and everyone's like I like it join the mechanized infantry it just says join you don't need any of that

I just join and you're like I'm going I'm going I'm going I would see that commercial right here and I just go I gotta go I think you're almost there if you want to appeal to him just like have the same scene as you described it but like

right between the soldier saluting and the titan dropping or the mech dropping just like have the phrase like some woman in the background just say pilot prepare for titan fall and then it drops and that's it right there that's the commercial only if okay okay one more step when the titan hits right you see it go up to salute somewhere on its kick-ass armor you have like you remember the old like world war ii they spray paint the bv2s and whatever, the Mustangs with like the hot chicks. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, the pinup girl.

You gotta get a pinup girl somewhere on that Titan. Do we do salute or degeneration X out of the- Both! No, we gotta get, this is again, we have the young age recruit. It's like, and then both opposite sides, soldier, Titan. Ready, ready, one dabs this way, the other dives that way. Fireworks.

And then an eagle hits the screen. It's like, ah! Fade to black. And then the military's like, hello, hello, stop. Hey, line two. It's recruiting out the ass right now. Buy war bonds. We just hit our recruiting numbers for 2057.

Everyone wants these. How are mechs not real yet? It sucks. I think it's necessity. Necessity is the mother of invention, right? Or father of invention or whatever. They have the mechs that are now terrifyingly doing the jumps so they're just human size. Who makes those?

Corridor's done videos on them oh yes yes yes i want to fuck you well this just took a turn but boston dynamics because now they can run three things yeah yeah but it's like those are doing flips they're doing all that it just unfortunately satisfies but i think we've talked about this is the most terrifying thing in the world is you outrun like a boston dynamics if you've ever watched them run they're like they run like a t1000 they just bounce but they're not fast so it is the most terrifying thing you

like have this fucking epic battle and you like finally escape you don't kill it You know no matter what one day we look But Gundam's it's they're just huge Boston dynamic robot There's got to be somebody and one of these. Yeah, but with the neural link. You've got to plug the brain in. Without the brain link, is it even a Gundam? I mean, this is the thing. So tanks talk to you. Our common phrase for her was bitch and Betty, the SEP V2s. Wait, what?

So not like full-on sentences, but they give you information. So when you pop the driver's hatch on an Abrams V2, it'll say, driver's hatch open, gun turret drive inactive. Series in tanks? Yes, it'll say drivers hatch open, gun turret drive inactive. Series and tanks? Yes, it'll say that. When did this happen? That was 2010 when I got set V2s. We call her Bitchin' Betty.

She will talk to you every once in a while. That is so fucking... I don't know shit about tanks. I don't know shit about shit. That's fucking ridiculous. I mean, when you think in actual time of the FBCB2 or the weapon system. God, fucking Blue Force Tracker, bro.

Oh, yeah, the Blue Force Tracker. What is the weapon system on the Strikers? The MGS2. Oh, yeah, the MGS. Sorry. Yeah, the MGS system. Like, that is an actual terrifying weapon platform when you think about it because you can zoom in thermal it can zoom into like a mile and be like oh yeah here it's crystal clear good old 50x yeah there's no recoil because it compensates for all

the recoil with every fire 105 millimeters absolutely terrifying when you think about it in the aspect because it's like oh here's the daylight camera okay go to thermos there's the human okay how far are they range right? Okay click Okay, now it's compensating all that and you're just like pull trigger It's so crazy like yeah when you lay somebody in a tank it does everything for you It does like Oh winning windage elevation if it's moving if you're moving like that's scary thing about like tanks in World War two It's wild man Hydraulics and levers good luck, bro Well, that's only like the scene from Fury.

Bro, because they're like, yo, we're going to lose like three tanks for fighting this one German tank. Because American tanks and English tanks all suck compared to the German military. We just had a fuck ton of them. I mean, we entered, I don't know why I put these. I have an eidetic memory for numbers. Maybe it's like a touch of the tism or something like that. Like, I can't remember names to save my life, but numbers. I'm really good with numbers. I'm awful. We entered of the tism or something like that. I can't remember names to save my life, but numbers. I'm really good with numbers.

I'm awful. We entered World War II with less than 500 tanks. You know how many we ended with? Over 64,000 tanks at the end of World War II. It's crazy. You know how many Germany ended with? Zero, bitch! Got them! Back to

back! Sorry. Still flexing that World War II. Oh, you know what? And one. One and two. One and two. Back to back, baby! I had a British guy.

We can't just do this. This is not working for us. I had a British guy in my comment section. He was talking shit. He's like, you Americans, you think that the war didn't exist until you joined. But then you joined right at the end. And I was like, no, we joined and made the end happen. That's what fucking happened. And they don't like when I say that. Like, we didn't join until you joined but then you joined right at the end i was like no we joined and made the end happen that's what fucking happened and they don't like when i say that like we didn't

join at the end we joined and then the end happened sorry you all had it under control uh we don't want to talk about the london yeah just sorry that's weird well i mean when you look at it it's like yes the war was going on but then you had like a full year we had yeah and then the shit we would do with like uh when the bitching of normandy and then on the out of the other coast we set up the fake just balloons literally balloon tanks balloon oh yeah equipment you know about this baddie it was just balloons and we're like just make it look like we have a lot of wood too a lot of wood artillery pieces yeah and it was just balloons and we're like just make it look like we have a lot of wood too a lot of wood artillery pieces yeah

and it was just fake and then they're like oh they are going here and that's where they're going to be landing for the beaching of Normandy because Normandy

wasn't the one we were supposed to go we faked it to I forget where the original it doesn't matter we won yeah that was a whole lot

of smoke and mirrors with that have you guys ever heard of the battle of we also they also got before you go on that the shit on of the one company that did go towards the bad area.

And all of Germany was like, there they are. And they did murder that fucking battalion. Because it was a sacrificial. It was like, hey, the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. The rangers climbing Pointe du Hoc is like seven. Oh, bro, that's bro shit i can't imagine like climbing a rock face over the ocean is scary anyways but now you have mg42 is fucking spraying at you like the balls those men had is fucking wild bro like it's insane but

like you're good steve yeah like yeah you're climbing a sheer cliff towards machine that's what i taught people how to do in the army. Mountain warfare. Seriously? Yeah. Yeah. I was stationed literally the mountain warfare, so I was an advanced assault climber.

So lead climbing without ropes. I set the ropes on the way up, so I was a lead climber. No shit. Yeah. Batty's a badass. I didn't do anything, though. I was just a school junkie. You're not Batty's badass.

He's out here. He said your purple heart don't mean shit, bro. I say it literally every episode. really do crispy it means nothing it means nothing me and crispy have the same it means a great parking spot in some ways yeah applebee's thank you oh man no so the the battle like made a click when i did this oh it's been broken entire time i already watched yo i've been watching it, but I'm just wondering how it sounds. Oh, good. What does it say? It sounds good.

Mine's good. Mine's clicked in. Okay, your story. Okay, sorry. The battle of Remagen, or excuse me, the battle of, yeah, Remagen at Ludendorff Bridge, it was the, when America was trying to cross the Rhine. The Rhine was like our last big thing before we could get to Berlin, right? It was a big deal. And trying to cross the Rhine, uh, the Rhine was like our last big thing before we, you know, we can get to Berlin, right.

It was a big deal. Yeah. And the Germans were like, Oh, you know, we will get across this bridge and then we will blow it up. You know? And they, they put like 500 pounds of explosive, but only 200 went off. So the bridge was like still there. And there was some just, I can't remember the name of the commander.

He was just like, I want that bridge, kill everything. I just fucking want the bridge. So he starts rolling like a whole division across this motherfucker like there was german snipers in a boat on the on the rhine and he just turned to sherman and just fucking murked him like this dude just no mercy right but this is the thing they start moving these and this is like our air defense thing because i'm an air defender right and they move a bunch of quad 50s which i love the quad 50 so widely what is the quad 50 it's 450 450 so widely used. What is the quad 50s? It's 450 cats. I'm just making sure because that's what I thought.

I know, but I'm also an infantryman. That's why they did it that way. That's the army. They're like glued them together and like, what do we call it? Four 50s. No, think of another word. Quad? The quad 50s.

I love it! And then he slapped it. He's like, deal! We're going to do this. It's like, I think the Quad 50 is like 1,600 rounds a minute. And they had, once they took this bridge, they- 2,400 rounds a minute. Is it 2,400?

Okay, 2,400 rounds a minute. They had over 100 of these things protecting that bridge, and Germany did not like that the Americans had the bridge. They were like, could you make the Quad 50? Yes, absolutely. They did that in Vietnam along with the M42. Put it back up, Batty? Oh, yeah.

Put the Quad 50 back up? There we go. There, this is German. And that's how I get banned right there, folks. Back to rolling dice. Thank God I am not blonde. Jeez. If I had that tip, I was blonde.

Green eyes. Here. Brown hair. No, a little further out. What's the answer? So they pushed all these guns across. It was like a hundred of these fucking guns they also had anti-air like flak artillery and i mean they were like we need to hold this bridge like the whole whoever was in commander of like all of american forces like keep that bridge no matter

that guy was like that's my bridge though yeah that is our bridge seven divisions by the way came across the bridge of ramagan right or the bridge at ramagan and so like the germans obviously real pissed off like they need to destroy that bridge yeah and i don't know why i said yeah fuck it my german's not great okay and it was wonderful so first they're like they send bf-109s the stuka is cool whatever they send those and those get fucking bodied what they failed to realize what they failed to realize is the guns that were protecting this had literally like a week beforehand finished the battle of the bulge so like these guys were not just like oh hey i'm a green guy on a brand new

quad 50 these are fucking murderers like these are just like oh we we are here to kill germany all of it the whole thing so they said like messerschmitt's the first jet ever powered aircraft and they got fucking murked by the time it was done like five days they'd lost over a hundred aircraft trying to take back the bridge and they never fucking tookked. By the time it was done, like five days, they'd lost over 100 aircraft trying to take back the bridge and they never fucking took it. No shit. Just Americans fucking them up the entire time.

Yeah. The Ludendorff Bridge at Remagen. That's fucking gangster. Oh, so yeah, Germany was the first one to have a rocket-powered plane. Yes, the Messerschmitt 262, I think is what it's called.

See, that's fucking crazy. That is a time, and that was like a soul-defining, like that is a game changer. One time I played Call of Duty 2. That was the one, that was World War II. Oh yes. I don't know if anyone cares. It's weird Call of Duty never let you play the Nazis.

I'm sure you did. Did you? I mean, when you play zombies technically. Cause the zombies are from Nazis. You did a lot, it was Russia. You went to, you passed me the three. Yeah, it was Russia, English, and yeah. Yeah, cause they're not gonna be like, the loading scene, it's like, special camp.

And you're like, uh-oh. Oh, no. Remember. Call of Duty really did this? Remember, no Russian. Yeah. And now even no Russian, they're like, ooh, we can't do that anymore. I remember releasing that.

It's like, hey, this game has a scene that's going to make some people mad. Do you want to play it? You're like, yeah. And then you're like, it was bad did you ever play the uh i think before before calling me what was it called uh medal of honor yeah medal of honor they made one about afghanistan and they medal of honor so medal of honor that was the medal of honor and so you had medal of honor one two three playstation and then PlayStation 2. And then what you're talking about is in the PS3, PS4, PC era, they released Medal of Honor, which was an Afghan. And they did a – It was a great game.

It was a badass, dude. It was a really good game. That was their first time going military. I started to touch fucking with PlayStation stuff with PS3. Well, I played it on Xbox. I think it was out on Xbox. Damn, I missed this. It was good.

They wouldn't sell it on base because they were worried was out okay and damn i missed this so like good they wouldn't sell it on base because they were worried about like triggering veterans and shit and like i i got i got done with afghanistan and i was like fuck that i ain't no bitch i'm gonna play this game bro running through the villages and you hear people speaking posh too and i could understand it i was like it fucked with me a little bit like it was 2010 11 yeah 10 11 yeah right around like like you have a night time you write in a a fucking, the quads into that sniper mission. Because, Batty, you go in as a sniper. So you're outer corridor, and you're protecting your team as they're going in.

You're 50, Cal, if you switch to the M2, the Barrett, it fucking blows their head up when you're hitting them. Oh, slaps, bro. Like, you just see this. It's like, they're like, miss their head. Entire head gone. You're like, this is the most gangster fucking head. Entire head gone. You're like, this is the most gangster fucking game. It was just ruthless, man.

You're like a tier one asset in fucking Afghanistan right at the beginning of the war. That's what the whole video game is about. And you're just- Glock 18C is your sidearm. So you have your full auto Glock. Dude, it is like-

It's a good game. It's not full auto Glock sidearms. Yeah, dude. It is like one of the best, like everyone's bearded in the story. It's a good fucking game. Oh shit, DICE was a part of this yeah dude it is it was a great game one of the best military style especially in that time because that was the first time going back into uh like wars or modern warfare but that one was like hey um medal of honor was like let's try

modern warfare essentially and they did it with that, and it fucking clapped. It was good. But a lot of people didn't touch it because there was a lot of negative press about it. Like, oh, they're pandering to, or not pandering to veterans. They're like triggering modern veterans, and they're dealing with a modern fight. And honestly, I played it. It was great. The campaign was great.

I didn't really like the multiplayer too much. I don't even know if it had much of a multiplayer aspect. I didn't play too much of it. I didn't. Campaign was phenomenal. And then i just never touched it again but like it like it was they put a lot of effort into it because you're running through villages like chasing some fucking asshole and like people are saying some pretty interesting things to you in posh too that i could understand like oh he just called me a derogatory term for a homosexual

that's what yeah it was wild man and that is such a good game to feel everything man i forgot about that it was a good game all together like that is uh it's a genre defining one those are the games stories history that's what i love i'm like okay here we go this is the like these little um it it's changing how especially at that time as you're saying there's controversy because it was different. And now it's like, hey, here's the Afghan war.

Here's how the operators were doing. Yeah. Yeah. You're all bearded, cool guys. You're going in planes, you're doing that stuff. But it was awesome being like,

if you've deployed, you're like, holy shit, this is fucking cool. This is how this is probably like, if you're a civilian or you don't know, but the vets were like, yeah,

this is pretty fucking good. They put a lot of effort into it but if you did the sniping missions you'd be like oh pretty fuck yo the sniper mission yeah you got like this thermal you're across a valley they're on another mountain oh bro it's good you're overwatching you're just fucking it's beautiful it's killing squirters that like your job is just like yo squirters going running off yeah yo squirter fucking uh 20 mil 20 yards that, and you're just like, I got you, bro. His leg's gone. And you take like a quad out to the carrot. Dude, you have to like ride a quad out to your spot.

Yeah, you'd be like a cave rat, too. You're like moseying through Afghan caves and shit with NVGs and freaking PEC-15s and shit. Oh, bro, it's a good game. No shit. I 100% miss this game. Oh, bro, it's a good game. No shit. I 100% miss this game. Yeah. What was it? Medal of Honor.

Was it just Medal of Honor? I promise you, just look up Medal of Honor. It was followed up by Medal of Honor Warfighter. It was just Medal of Honor. And it's the cool guy with the beard on the front, black. Yeah, I remember that cover, dog. Yeah. It is such a good game.

Those are the stories. We're just now getting the good military stories it'll be interesting watching movies get made and then um video games about the goings-on of now because we have like the battle of the bulge we have the world war ii world war ii has been done so much v it's kind of funny vietnam's never well it has but it was like uh shit like like black the original black ops and then what was the other um uh shell shocked that was a huge fuck that was i don't think i ever played shell shocked that was a phenomenal game again but yeah even then vietnam is still so recent that it's like look how often we touch world war ii games constantly going back to world

war ii world war one even yeah we'll touch world war one now in modern warfare like because god's like hey like what was the last big korea game was it like uh mercenaries i'd never played a video game about the war in korea i know like korea was it's often referred to as the forgotten war when i dug into it while i was there in korea like task force smith the chosen reservoir like it's a lot of history and it sucks because a lot of history gets, and it sucks because a lot of history does get lost in the sauce with these. And you have like epic battles. When like my buddy Luke, he did Drunken Debrief,

the original series, and he has so many stories that he wants to tell. And when he starts talking about these military stories or in parts in history, I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about? I was like, yeah, this is actually how this played out. If it's the Civil War to Korea War to Vietnam, like Vietnam has so many gangsters. Like Hamburger Hill is one of the most crazy ideas for it shows you how incompetent the military is.

They're like, we need that hill. Why? Because it's because we want it does it serve any purpose is it like is it strategic yep no with seven or is it 90 casualty rate yeah hamburger hill was 90 casualty right like 92 it was something ridiculous with that that is the casualty rate and it's just to get and conquer this hill which we left after what was it like 15 days 15 days i think it was like 15 days it was a battle up a fucking hill that had no purpose a 92 casualty rate and then at the end of it in 15 days like okay and we ditched it have you ever heard of a task force

smith in korea a lot of people haven't now and it's it's like again it's part of the forgotten so i was in when i was in korea and i got i got korea stories but uh so when i was in korea i was in suwon airbase which we commonly referred to as shawshank if you've ever been to suwon airbase it looks it looks like a fucking prison it's a korean airbase and there's like a like there's just that green color everything's painted that green no it looks like it's all like brown and like there's concrete walls with razor wire on top of it so we call it shawshank and so i was in korea and right there is the task force smith memorial so i went to it and i was like let's check you know check this out it's like right down the street

so i go to it and it's all about what the americans did and then like, it's really cool. If you go to it in the back, there's like an area, you just hit a button. There's like a terrain map and you hit a button and there's like projectors. They show the whole battle and how it happened. And task force Smith was just a ramshackle unit that didn't exist. The army was just like, you go,

you go, you go like, these are like supply personnel and just random fucking people. And they were like, hold out as long as you can. We'll come save you and task force smith everyone either was killed or captured and they held suwon for like five days they were had like you know just like some minor guns and they held off tanks and artillery they

held so the american forces could mass and boost on and then push north task force smith held off like north korea like all of it by them fucking selves. And it wasn't even like fight. It wasn't the fighters. It was like random dudes. Just random fucking people. Go. You're needed. This is probably not strategic at all.

Was it? No. They just said Task Force Smith, hold that line as long as you can. And they just left them there. And they all died. Either died or were captured. Yeah. Yeah.

Remember how we started this podcast talking about the things the army does well the things the army doesn't do well oh combat yeah but we also are the best at it sucks because we do the dumbest shit like you hear those stories and you're like how the fuck are you the world's power when you also do these you got to remember the rest of the world also has a bunch of 18 year old idiots trying to. We've just done war longer than any other nation. Well, I think China might have something to say with that. No, what's crazy is. China's been at war for like. But they're waging an economic war, if I can be honest.

Every time we leave somewhere, they move in with business suits. Okay, okay. We're going to buy your shit. The US isn't that old. Yeah. China has dynasties that have been fighting wars with each other. Where is it? The Great Wall.

It's the Great Wall of China. Mongolia. Come on now. 22 years of peace in America's entire history. That's it. That's what's crazy. 22 years of peace. That's pretty crazy.

Okay. That makes sense. years of peace pretty crazy okay that makes yeah okay reveals that the united states has been at war for about 225 years of the 243 years that it has been a country since 1776 so we're overdue is what we're here oh we are good at war jesus fuck because other countries and they don't fight on our scale that's what's crazy we fight at like like the civil war we lost more individuals in the civil war than world war ii and world war one yep we kick our own ass when you don't come fucking with the smoke man like nobody can kill more people than us yeah we will fuck ourselves up yeah we we get bored we fight each other and then we need to go find a war others will fight yeah otherwise yeah and then that's what that's what's fucking crazy about America,

and that's why you have this. By one count, the United States has been at war sometime between 93.5% of its calendar years. For 100% of our calendar year, 93 we be fighting. And you wonder why we're so good at it. I said it in one of my videos. We're not a war tribe. We're 50 war tribes in a trench coat

with a defense budget beginning to fight God. The green is when we're not at war. It's like is it right now? Are we in green right now or are we due? We're overdue. It's been minutes. Oh, we are green. It's been literal minutes.

It's a sliver of green. That's going to change. And with that that thank you for watching this great podcast as always we have you i don't tap myself bad dreams and are wonderful thank you so much for coming out of course thank you habitual line crosser where can everybody find you online on the internet habitual line crosser on youtube instagram and tiktok all right cool well fuck shit that was easy uh we'll see you all over the after show on patreon in seconds bye