Unsubscribe Podcast - 130 - We Had to Get a Lawyer... Ft. The Fat Electrician, Brandon Herrera & Jake Watson

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

Baddie is stepping away from the podcast and we wish him all the best, but it is not the end! Unsub will continue to evolve and grow as we always have and we're confident we can make this better than ever. Please show our boy Baddie all the love and support and wish him all the best!! FOLLOW OUR FRIENDS!! The Fat Electrician https://www.youtube.com/@the_fat_electrician Brandon Herrera https://www.youtube.com/@BrandonHerrera Jake Watson (Corridor Digital/Corridor Crew) https://www.youtube.com/@Corridor ------------------------------ THANK YOU TO OUR SPONSORS! MANSCAPED Get 20% Off and Free Shipping with code UNSUB at https://www.manscaped.com GHOST BED Right now GhostBed is offering 50% off everything if you use the code –UNSUBSCRIBE at checkout or https://www.GhostBed.com/Unsubscribe ADAM & EVE Go to https://www.adamandeve.com and use code UNSUB for 50% off + Free shipping + Rush Processing! ------------------------------ UNSUB MERCH: https://www.bunkerbranding.com/pages/unsubscribe-podcast JOIN THE PATREON! https://www.patreon.com/UnsubscribePodcast WE HAVE A SUBREDDIT??? https://www.reddit.com/r/UNSUBSCRIBEpodcast/ CHECK OUT https://outofregz.com/ CODE: UNSUB ------------------------------ WHERE TO LISTEN Spotify https://spoti.fi/2Ye8YOU Apple Podcasts https://apple.co/3cbqY4k Amazon https://amzn.to/2YbzQia Google Play https://bit.ly/2YcWmaD Stitcher https://bit.ly/3cbnY8o MORE LINKS! https://linktr.ee/UnsubscribePodCast ------------------------------ Follow the Cast of Unsubscribe Eli_Doubletap https://www.instagram.com/eli_doubletap/ https://www.twitch.tv/Eli_Doubletap https://twitter.com/Eli_Doubletap https://www.youtube.com/c/EliDoubletap ------------------------------ Edited by GVAN https://www.twitch.tv/gvan11b https://www.instagram.com/gvan11b/ https://twitter.com/GVAN_CC unsubscribe pod podcast episode ep unsub funny comedy military army comedian texas podcasts #podcast #comedy #funnypodcast #military #gaming Chapters: 0:00 A Message From Eli 4:54 Welcome to Unsub 12:55 Lawyer TV Shows 15:25 The Offenders 18:44 Brandon's RPG Video 23:52 Corridor Crew's New Video 29:54 Pew Pews 36:22 Eli's Purple Heart Story 49:38 Nick's New Video 1:00:07 Eddie Gallagher 1:04:22 The Civil War & History Stories Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

april 19th 1775. this dude lived in arlington massachusetts paul revere showed up at homeboy's house in the middle of the night like the british are coming 78 year old grizzled veteran two dueling pistols that he acquired during the pontiac rebellion because the previous owner and i quote died suddenly 700 british soldiers are retreating back to boston shoots with the musket kills kills a british guy whips out the two pistols, kills two more, holds out the sword and... Yeah, I'm always allowed this. Do you have a slur for Minnesotans?

Yeah, what is it? I don't know. I just get really mad because they're license plates. Every state has their own little catchphrase or whatever. Minnesota's is home of 10,000 lakes it's like every every pothole with water in it they're like that's a fucking lake added to the town okay I'm gonna go ahead this we have a standard for late are we are we recording what no okay good okay I'm just wondering how animated I should be about this. Oh, all of it. We're recording. Oh, for sure.

Because he was going to start pulling out the actual slurs. We have a standard. What's up, everyone? It's Eli. Everyone is probably like, what is going on? First things first, we're going to wish Batty the most success and love on his next adventure. That is all that matters. Our boy is going out.

He's going to do D&D. He is going to stream and he is going to crush it. And we are going to support him as a community and a family. So first things first, Batty, cheers to you, brother. We wish you the best. We you cheers brother i'm so proud of what you're doing and i'm i am excited to see what you come up with love yeah pickle juice it's so delicious hey you're gonna get real me for a second. I know you see the internet personality of me. Hyper, autism everywhere. I'm an introvert at heart. A lot of people don't know that. I like my quiet time. I like my family time. And that's me. This is very socially draining opening up. I just want to thank

each and every one of you. And I want you all to know Unsub isn't changing. Unsub has a trajectory. We have a path. We have a defined mission. And by God, I'm going to carry it across that finish line. So help me God. Not for myself, but for all of you. And I mean that from the bottom of my goddamn heart.

If you want a real moment with Eli, it is. I know what you've all given me, and I am so goddamn appreciative of it. Till the end of times. I'm so happy. You rewind back to when Ryan was born. Never thought any of this would have been possible. I had a dude coming out of the military doing therapy, personal training, poor shit.

And I get to watch. I now have secured multiple things. I get to motivate people to show them that no matter what, you can grow into something amazing. Most importantly, I get to support my kid O'Riden and show him like, Hey, buddy, doesn't matter what trials and tribulations you have. At the end of the day, as long as you work hard and you have a positive mindset and you dig deep anything is possible like anything's fucking possible and i appreciate all of you at the end of the day for making that a thing i love all of you and i'm sorry i'm crying right now i'm just so happy and i i am so thankful for all you have done

as an audience the team we have i am so supportive of show g van baddie fluck donut everyone that's been part of this process thank you so goddamn much you guys are family always the end of the day you are all family and all the guests that have been part of this means the fucking world to me i'm truly blessed to have each and every one of you in my life period guys gals be supportive of everyone just love each other. That's what it should be at the end of the day. It's just love, kindness, support. Y'all are amazing humans.

Cheers. Jake, they're just lakes. Jesus Christ. One more fucking thing. Lake property owners can go to hell. No, we have a standard. It has to be a certain size, literally, to be qualified as a lake. A pothole with water.

Look, here's the thing. I did annual training at Camp Ripley one time. Yeah. Big-ass base up damn near in Canada. You know how many fucking mosquitoes you have in a state with 10,000 lakes? Hell yeah, brother. It's your state bird. Dude, yeah.

It's fucking terrible. That's where my people come from, dude. The border people. The white people bird dude yeah terrible that's where my everywhere the border people the white I thought that's not where the border people I thought we're the border people right here the other bus no Mexicans yes Mexicans no Mexicans I is no Mexican this is the most bizarre I thought the autistic comedian was gonna be the most autistic start to an episode No, no, like sorry fighting over lakes. That was my hatred of Minnesota Like no this lake is better than that Lake ready everyone Hold it one two three

We're getting really good at that hmm Everyone? No! Hold it. One, two, three. Oh, fuck yeah. We're getting really good at that now. I've seen so many of these damn episodes, I didn't even have to be instructed what to do. Welcome to another episode of Unsubscribe, followed by, hey, your first time on. It's my first time. Unsubscribe, Jerry.

We'll be gentle. We'll be gentle. Thank you. Just, you know, maybe a little bit. Spitubscribe Jerry. We'll be gentle. Thank you. Just, you know, maybe a little bit on it. Jake. Mr. Jake Watson, the lawyer. That's right. I'm here to break things down and

beat people up. We got the beautiful Brandon Baberba. And then can you introduce yourself again? My name's Nick. First time. We're going to test it out and see how he does. I don't know. I don't like the last 10 he was on.

It all did super well. It's fine. I'm a little anxious about our guests, considering they just started fighting about lakes. The entertainment value may not be. No, it's not just lakes. That's just one of the reasons I hate Minnesota. The other reason is because they decided to put roundabouts everywhere.

I mean, listen, if you expect me to sit here and stand for this from an Iowan, it's not going to happen. Oh, I'm down for this. We should have swapped you guys. I think it's probably good I'm in the middle. I'm sorry, where do you live? I live in Texas. I like my state enough to stay there. I don't know.

I mean, fair enough but you became a youtuber podcaster social media personality only after you had already established yourself there i mean i bought a house you could buy other houses it's not the 1800 I don't have to buy like a fucking wagon And some oxen to move Like I could just pick my shit up and leave That's true That's why it takes three weeks to come to another podcast

I mean look I don't think I'm going to out argue you But I'm definitely going to try This is your job Yeah but he talks so fast. And he also uses the shark hand. Science. The shark hand.

The knife hand. The knife hand. Oh, man, the comments right now. Yeah. No, it's fine. This is going to be the news. He's going to say shark hand. That's a new piece of merch.

Weapon of mass instruction right here. That's right. Shark hand NATO. I've never heard shark hand. Wait, where did that come from? Look, I got my hand language from you. Sharks don't even have hands. No, because I was watching an Angry Cops episode,

and he was talking about a shark attack in someone's face. Yeah, a shark attack. Yeah, which is you use knife hands in a shark attack. That makes sense. Okay. That's understandable. I just like shark hands. It's a shark going like this. You have to get the knife hands in a shark attack. That makes sense. Okay. That's understandable. I just like shark hands. It's a shark going like this.

You have to get the knife hand from here. Dude, the shark fin, bro. Very intimidating. Yeah. Welcome, Jake. Welcome. So Jake comes from Corridor Digital. Yep.

All the way from the land of corridors. I know. From LA. And then you moved here two, three, three years ago. Almost four years ago. Coming up on it. Jake's been a good friend with all of us. I did not know he was a lawyer for the first two years of knowing him.

Because he would pull up in a motorcycle with his tattoos and his leather on and do stuff around the office and leave. I was like, oh. And then one day we were actually talking. I was like, so what do you do? He's like, I'm the lawyer. I was like, oh. But like.

What do you do? For real. He's like, no, I lawyer. I was like, oh. But like. What do you do? For real. He's like, no, I'm an actual, like, past the bar and stuff. Just an eccentric millionaire, that's all. Living on Hunter Street. Just the worst part of LA. You're like, this is great. I fucking love it.

Yeah. To be fair, there's no real good parts of LA. It's all still fucking LA. It's terrible. Hunter Street hasn't changed. No. Yeah. It's, still fucking LA. It's terrible. Hunter Street hasn't changed? No. Around it has changed, but the building itself hasn't changed. I like that about it. Are we allowed to

say the name or do we need to bleep out Hunter Street? I mean, we won't say the address. I hope not. Hunter Street's fine. You mean I shouldn't tell him you're at 4725? Yeah. It's right there.

And then we've got Mr. Nick just flew in today, our baby boy, and then Brandon. Just Brandon being Brandon. We're going to start boxing this week. Guys. Yeah, I'm excited to start boxing again. That'd be fun. I'm so excited. Who are we boxing?

Each other. Yeah. Brandon wants to spar more. Saturday? Saturday we're trying to. We're seeing the dates. Everyone's moving. Right now it's supposed to be. Oh, my God. I a spar more Saturday. Saturday. We're trying to we're seeing the dates. Everyone's moving right now. It's supposed to be Oh my god, I'll be here Saturday. I can I can box. Do you want to? Yeah. Yeah Saturday

We'll just say everyone can freaking box. Hell. Yeah, Nick's gonna take him to the ground and grapple and just break everyone I know what a box to I box to okay, but you're really good at grappling. I'd prefer you didn't He's really good at grappling Nick. You've had a story to tell. Oh god. No, I can at grappling. I'd prefer you didn't. He's really good at grappling. Nick, you've had a story to tell. Oh, God, no, I can't yet. I'm not there. What? Do you need more caffeine before you do?

Yeah, for sure. I do want to very much thank you and show appreciation for your choice of merch. Oh, yeah, sure. Look at that. I almost did it. It was almost close enough. I saw it. I pulled the shirt up in the way.

Eli got me once. I'm never going to get got again. It was worth a shot. I think it was too early. It was too early. It was almost it was almost close enough. I saw it. I pulled the shirt up in the way. Well, Eli got me once I'm never gonna get got again. It was worth a shot. I think it's too early It was too early. It was too early. You also can't hit me with my own move that I hit you with. Yeah The same set up. Was it? Was it early? Yes. Oh, I don't remember that. So he boobs everyone. I just was like first I'd like to call attention to Brandon's shirt Cause you were wearing my shirt and you were like you weren't gonna let him We just talked about it and I did it to him. I was like, he boos everyone like this.

And Jake goes, huh? I haven't been booped in so long I forgot what it was called. Dude, it's the best. That's called being married. It's the best thing on the planet. You haven't been booped in so long,

I'm like, yeah, that's marriage. That's not what I meant, Brandon. No, dude, no. It's the best opener within like two hours of knowing somebody. Just boop them? 100%. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart

shopper and delivered to your door. A well-marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. It's a grown-ass man and you get booped it's like well we're either going to be mortal enemies or we're going to be really good friends there's no fucking in between now i'm just now i have to wait for you to boot me yeah he already got you it's kind of like the

clone because i have him it's like well we're either fucking or fighting science science well he just wet willie donut which is great it's good There was a chinchilla in the corner. Yeah. He was just like first podcast. I got the first podcast. He came at me hard. He just opened up my first podcast. So what's your least favorite race? Like thinking he's going to throw me off and I'm like marathons. What about you?

I started laughing. I booped him. And then randomly I'm like, is that chinchilla been there the whole time? And Cody goes, what? And looks, I give him a wet Willie. Just a bully. I started laughing. I booped him. And then randomly, I'm like, has that chinchilla been there the whole time? And Cody goes, what? And looks. And I give him a wet willy. Just a bully. Yeah.

Yeah. He's a high school bully. Speaking of stereotypes, if you guys need one, I got one. I've got Sonys. I've got CBs. I've got all kinds of stereotypes. I have a real question for you. That was a great quality dad joke, by the way.

Thank you. He's a dad. No, so I always ask, well, I have asked in the past, like nurses or healthcare workers, like what's the most realistic healthcare TV show, Grey's Anatomy, Scrubs, whatever, whatever. They always say Scrubs. What's the most realistic lawyer show?

And why is it Suits? Because there's quite a few of them now. Why is it Suits? I feel like Suits is like the Grey's Anatomy. Like that's what everybody wants it to be. I feel like it's not that. I went to law school for a year with Jerry O'Connell, who is kind of a B-list actor known for his first role as a child was in,

what's that, Goonies movie? Yeah, the Goonies. He was in the Goonies. What was that Goonies movie? I was trying to remember the name. And then as he got older, he became kind of like this B-lister, and he was in this show. Who was that guy that died at the Chateau Marmont?

He overdosed. I don't even know what that is. We're not cultured here. Okay. Well, anyway, Belushi's brother. Oh, okay. Jim Belushi. John Belushi. One of the two. We're not cultured here. Belushi's brother. Jim Belushi. John Belushi. One of the two.

He was in a show with him and it was called Jake, do you have autism? I don't think so. Why do you know where he died? He was on the seventh floor room 719. Anyways. This is just things I know, okay? He was in my law school program for a year,

and he was on a show after that. I forget what it was called, but it was pretty good. And that was honestly pretty realistic. And we all asked him, like, look, are you just here for a role? And he's like, no, no, I want to become a lawyer. And then two semesters in, he, like, leaves. And then all of a sudden this show comes out where he plays a lawyer. And I was like, you got us all, Jerry.

I swear to God, if you don't know the name of this show, I've never been so verbally blue-balled in my entire life. He's like, oh, it's actually really good. The show's super accurate. I don't know. Here's the guy and his dead brother's name and where he died. Here's every coordinating piece to this puzzle but the name of the show. Look, I'm going to have to look it up. If you're going of the show. Look, I'm going to have to look it up.

If you're going to press me on this, I'm going to have to look it up. I think it was called... They were defense attorneys. Helpful. Can you look it up? 50-50 shot. Dude, you were doing great. I was just going to let you have it. Look, Jerry O'Connell, defense attorney show. What other movie

other than that one is one where, as he's saying, where you're like, man, they just got it. That is how the courtroom. And why is it my cousin? It's called The Defenders. The Defenders. Yeah. I was going to say The Defenders.

Speaking of The Offenders, what's your superpower? Oh, yeah. We haven't done a superpower in a while. Oh, it has been a tick since we've done an Avengers episode. It's been a while. I like this. So how does this game work? You pick a superpower, and we pick the downside.

Any superpower? Any superpower you want. We'll tell you if it's been used or not. Yeah. It is slim pickets right now. Okay. The ability to control water. Oh, he's a waterbender. That's not been taken.

That is not. That is actually a really cool power. Yeah. Told you. That's because I'm an Aquarius. That's why. Jesus Christ. I'd like to be a Taurus bender, please. I want to be able to

shapeshift cows. I thought you were talking about astrology signs. I am too. He's an Aquarius. He wants to do water. Fuck it. I'm going to do cows. Okay.

If someone could control water, what would be the greatest offset on that? I mean, can you control ice too? Because as soon as you leave this planet, you're kind of screwed. Water is water. Water is water. H2O. Hard water. Right. Air water. Water's water. Yeah, water's water. H2O. Hard water. Right.

Air water. There's a piss side effect here. That's what I was thinking. It's like, does the pee... I'm trying to think of how that would work or a downside that's just completely annoying with the ability to control water. Sonium water.

God, that's actually a... You're welcome, boys. God damn lawyers. I know. That's a good offset for that. I know. Fire. You catch on fire anytime?

There you go. So your first action has to be dousing yourself? Yeah. You can only shapeshift water while you're on fire. So you have to constantly make the decision to save your own life shift water while you're on fire yeah so you have to constantly make the decision to save your own life or save whoever you're trying to help the second the power is used and then he just ignites that's actually a really good one because then he has to put himself out as you're saying he's like oh this hurts too much he puts himself

out you look like crispy right oh god after about a minute you'd be crispified my uh my offset was just going to be mildly annoying it's like you're you can never be hydrated you're just always thirsty like goes right through me you can he's constantly hung over yeah there you go just constantly just deathly dehydrated yeah like it's that hard like it is a hard morning of drinking and you wake up and it's that two day hangover yeah that's every time you got that split it feels like somebody put an axe in the middle of your forehead the second you do it and it can be a little or a lot but the more you do it the harder that headache is yeah ironically honestly i wouldn't even want to control water if that was the case yeah after five seconds you're just like dude i don't give a fuck anymore

jesus just die i mean that's my kid fell in the pool he can only control water that's inside of If that was the case. Yeah. After five seconds, you're just like, dude, I don't give a fuck anymore. Jesus. Just die. I mean, that's my kid fell in the pool. He can only control water that's inside of his body. Like that he has readily available. So then he does get hung over when the water leaves. Yeah. There you go. So like the more water you need to use,

the more hung over you are the entire time. He's just streaming your tears. A little bit of kidney failure. You're like, Oh no. After a. I've been saving too many people. You're like, oh no. After a week of being on the offenders, you're just jaundiced.

Oh, it happened quick. Just hating life. Mr. Brandon, you just did an RPG video. I did. You just helped me with it. It was a blast.

Uh-huh. I didn't even mean to do that. That was real. I'm sorry. I'm kidding. G-Van, don't even put that in there because I don't know yeah Ryan's rental sewer slides yeah I still like sewer slides that's my favorite thing to say now it needs to be a shirt it's just a sewer and it's a kid like, Spike pit at the bottom or something. But yeah, you fired an RPG. We found out those had, I didn't think how much ass those had on them.

Yeah, it's a rocket. It's a powerful rocket. It's a fast, fast fucking moving rocket. Like punching through 55 gallon drums. Like it was. Nothing. That was what surprised me. So like, for those who don't know, it's not like the fucking movies where, you know, like you have the 1984 Red Dawn that just has the, and it's like super slow.

It's like a wire guided fucking bottle rocket. Right. It's, pull the trigger, boom. You just hit the fucking wall 300 meters away. Like it's real fucking fast. And fast, and it has ass behind it. You've seen the videos where guys get hit by the blowback on those. Like they step in the wrong place at the wrong time. The person doesn't check.

Yeah, back glass not clear. Yeah. You learn that key phrase a lot of the time. With AT-4s, any recoil-less rifle system or rocket system. You have to always look backwards because it will kill. What is the, I forget how close. It's a ways. There's always, there's these videos coming out of Ukraine

where people are using RPGs because they've seen their buddies do it and they've never shot it or they don't understand the concept of backblast. I saw a dude trying to fire it up over a trench and like rested it on his bicep and it was just a real fucking ripped they're all wearing like these thick winter jackets so it's really kind of hard to see like the actual damage from the drone that is recording them or whatever but it looked like a real limp sleeve after that he got hit with the back blast on his arm yeah so like his arm was trying to use it like a buttstock. He tried to like.

Not great. Yeah. Street fire it like that. Basically, yeah, like over a trench. And yeah, no, that's not a good idea. It may be spooky season, but you don't want to scare people with your scraggly beard. Today, we are brought to you by Manscaped.com. Who has taken a step from the ball-a-weeners to bring your face the cleanest shave it has ever seen, brother?

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for the first time and didn't know that was a thing wait what apparently america makes rpgs yep ps is the one i shot is it ps oh lr one whatever yeah airtronic makes them yeah what america makes rpgs exclusively for dropping off in other countries. That's as American as it gets. It's like, dude, it came in a dope-ass case. They're like, hey,

that shit they already use. Yeah, just make more of that painted army green. Send it over. That's literally what I use. Your tax dollars at work. Holy shit. We actually do that?

Well, I love, I love the, the differences in between the Russian ones ours, because it's so stupid. Ours is fucking stupid. Both work. The problem is, ours is literally a 100% clone. It is a copy, like through and through, just doesn't have the Russian markings.

It is a 100% clone. They'll know how to use this. Literally, yeah, that's why we do it. And the ammo's everywhere. But we added quad rails to everything for no fucking reason. I saw yours had quad rails. No, that's where it's at. And I was like, why does it have quad rails?

It's got to be modular. I wanted to put little red dots all over it. It's got to be modular. That's what's up. Just eight red dots on it. And a bipod. I prefer the ACOG on my RPG. I swear to God, if you can just use the word modular,

you will get a government contract. It doesn't matter what it is. I'm starting growing square potatoes. Modular fucking potatoes. The DOD will buy all of them. I'm selling modular techniques on how to defeat thermal devices. 100%. Oh, yeah.

Guaranteed. Is that? Oh, that's. Wait, when is that coming out? It's coming out on Sunday on YouTube. Discover the exciting action of BetMGM Casino. Check out a wide variety of table games with a live dealer or enjoy over 3,000 games to choose from like Cash Eruption, UFC Gold Blitz.

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free of charge. BetMGM operates pursuant to an operating agreement with iGaming Ontario. So, if this is coming out Saturday on YouTube. So, it'll be live shortly hereafter. Oh, we can't talk about it. We can't spoil it, but it is really good.

Can we say at least the topic? We can talk about it a little bit. Oh, can we? We have a small audience base. Tens of people watch it, so we're content. Multiplied by 100,000. Especially with these guys on Ill Tank. No one's going to watch this episode.

We haven't understood, like, you don't talk about Fight Club rule here. Okay, so these guys are cool, probably. So make sure you go on, comment on their video. It'll be live on Corridor Digital and then it'll come out Sunday on Corridor Crew YouTube. Oh, see, we're good then. Boom. Talk about, dude.

Oh, this. Wait, first. What do you think? Okay, you know Predator. I know, this is awkward we have told he used the shark hand the shark hand came out he locked up with fear he's like jaws is coming at me predator you know predator's thermal vision back in the day well anyway and then arnold he's like i'm gonna throw some mud on and he's right how do you think that fares in today's technology and more refi r is like nice thermal yeah how do i think it's fair how much mud do you think you need in order for it to actual i feel like just because you're asking

me it's like not much i don't like i feel like i'm gonna be. Or it's a ton. It's either like 18 inches or literally some sunblock. One of the nowhere in between. He's right. You're in fact totally right. And we discovered that it is an incredibly small amount of mud. It is necessary. Terrifying. Like, can we have an in-depth?

Because it is like, we were an in depth because it is like we were like oh this is Jake was like getting covered in the mud he's just a pig he's just rolling around he's like cover me we have Harley Morrison just like covering him he was my mud man mud buddy every mud man needs a good mud buddy

so they just put him he's getting a pace and we look up and I'm like oh god what the fuck because jake like rested by some trees i was like hey hey what the fuck they look when he's by the trees nothing you have finn who is a bright white dot like recording a tree i walk over i'm like hey um i don't want to ruin it because he was like don't tell me i was like but uh um nick come here he's like what is it i was like fucking working like really fucking good like it was a little freaky because well as soon as uh when he first started walking out into the mud i could see where where it was like splashing up on

your your legs like your pant legs and where it was like splashing up on your your legs like your pant legs and where it was splashing was immediately disappearing on thermal i'm like oh fuck this is gonna work isn't it yeah and this is today's you know some of the best thermal devices that you can get currently we like four different brands but it was all pretty nice shit yeah twenty to thirty thousand dollars worth of thermals looking for this dude he hit just hide and seek was the stupidest part it was so fun though i'm so glad we got to do that because everyone with thermals on was just like no we got to move to the next area and jake's like i literally at that point i had learned to hide my eyes in my mouth bro to that fucking chair he He was to that chair.

Everyone decided, like, no, he's not here, and kept walking. Yeah. And I was like, Calder, Calder, you got to turn around. They're like, what the fuck? The dog ran up. That's the only reason. Yeah, my dog found me. This is some shit like the government's going to tell you to take this down.

So we're going to sell modular quad rail mud. It's going to be filled with mud. And in an emergency, you just break in case of emergency. It's a square mud block. It's high quality mud. It's mud block, but with a little cooling pack inside of it so it's super cold.

Dude's literally selling bricks out of fucking Minecraft. Minecraft bricks? And it'll attach to a quad rail on your primary rifle and you just take that around with you in case there's thermals. Threat of thermals. This is going to be like new border patrol issue.

Why are all these Mexicans covered in fucking mud now? This is super weird. It's hot. Mudbacks. Goddamn mudbacks. 20 years. 20 years, that's the new name that's coming back she's like oh no nick's like i can't say that joke but yeah it was amazing it was crazy everyone's mind was blown of

how easily the tech was defeated and to learn predator acts like arnold was telling the truth yeah which i thought was a total lie. And we've been doing these series of experiments on Corridor Crew, and this was just the most recent one. And this one, I think, by far shocked me the most. It changed the video drastically because he thought he was going to have to be in this mud hut. I bought a snorkel system.

And about 20 thermal blankets because I was prepared to cover myself in thermal blankets with nothing but a snorkel face on with a hand signal for life to be covered in mud. That would have been really mean if we did that and just covered you in mud. You just have a little snorkel and then just wave like smelling salts.

That would have sucked. And then we'd tell them, oh, it worked with the small layer. We just wanted to see you get completely covered. Yeah, that would have been... Maybe you should have done that. What's some other military equipment that's just super easily overcome by bullshit?

Well, that's a real leading question there nick yeah nick uh what leading no i don't know i'm asking fed alert i i do want to come back to this uh rpg thing though because that's shocking but that they oh yeah no it's not coming this is why i think the like the military's rifle should be the Galil. That should be the U.S. military's new weapon. Bold statement. Yeah. I don't necessarily disagree. I love it because it's the perfect.

So for that type of situation, it's the perfect weapon. Yeah, it runs. In every way. Well, so it's an anchor. They're already familiar with the operating system, and it's in NATO ammo type. Well, I'm saying everybody's familiar with the the operating system and it's it's in nato ammo type well i'm saying everybody's familiar with the operating system because when you look at the galileus gen 2 on the left side

of the gun if you're holding it it's ar controls there's a thumb safety and then on the other side it's ak controls and then it's got a scar charging handle which is the best out of AK or AR. So it's like all three combined into one with only the best aspects. That's what should be used. I like a Galil. I liked it more than... Yeah, jeez, don't get me fucking started. I liked the Galil Ace way

more than I thought I would. I kind of always resented him for a while because it's just like, oh, God, you're taking something and adding a bunch of rails to it and shit like that. And IWI. But then, like, I fucking bought one. And I'm like, oh, first time I actually, like, ran it, ran it. I'm like, God damn it. Okay, this is nice.

I don't... Nobody look at me. Don't record me saying it but yeah it's nice does it have a million parts like the AR nope it's an AK on the inside

it's literally an AK yeah it's the same bolt bolt carrier everything like it's just an AK operating system here's my question

like how much money cause like what's the Galil up for like 1600 bucks I think something like that stock like how much money

would you have to spend to get an AK of like comparable quality to that like out of the box do you want it depends what you want to do with it like what do you mean by comparable I just mean like I don't know much about pricing for a case I feel like the Galil is like like a bone stock a cave yeah like you're gonna have to spend a lot of money to get something as no you about the same price doesn't weigh it for a really good egg for a really good a kite yeah same thing. Does it weigh 1,000 pounds like every AK ever?

Man, you need to get some better AKs. We need to hook you up, buddy. I'm down. I even went into Montekima and I was like, hey, is there a light AK you can make for me? They were like, well... But I understand the bolts and everything. 1,000 pounds meeting seven.

Oh, that's still pretty heavy. Like 6.9 pounds, something like that. Yeah. It'll get to you. I'm saying if you take a SCAR on like an elk hunt, it'll probably get to you. I wouldn't know. It gets to the elk more.

Exactly. One of us walked away from the field of battle that day. I just love Brent taking it. He's like, I need the SCAR-20S for this hunt. I just thought it was cool. They asked me if I wanted a rifle there, and I's like, I need the SCAR-20S for this hunt. I just thought it was cool. They asked me if I wanted a rifle there, and I'm like, nah, you know what? I'd rather use one of mine just for pride purposes, whatever. So I put the EOTech 1-10 Voodoo on it, kind of tricked it out a bit,

and then I was not informed ahead of time that I was going to be hiking five miles a day, roughly. That was really cool. I actually did enjoy it. It wasn't really that bad, but it definitely was heavier than I needed. You're AKs and everything.

Shoulder mounted Barrett. Mount a pair of antlers up top and just walk with it on your shoulder. It's an elk. Goose just explodes the fucking elk. That's wasted some good meat there. By the way, if anybody would like some elk meat, I have quite a lot.

Done and done. No, when you're actually for rifles in combat, chances are unless you're going like this, you're just going to have it at the low ready. On your mag holster, you rest whatever you can on it so it holds a majority of the weight and then you just walk like this. Yeah, but it's still, I mean. And then you go like this. majority of the weight and then you just walk like this yeah but it's still i mean and you go like this and with the aks you cradle it you just cradle it with the oh you do too you get real good at being lazy well in combat you get super good at

being as lazy as possible i strip my gun down to like the minimum so i couldn't you're not being lazy you're conserving energy to be more combat effective. No, totally. Done. I mean, well, yeah. I mean, as soon as you start exerting yourself, sprinting, ducking, squatting, covering. I'm sure you don't notice it when you're getting shot at.

Well, yeah. None of the tired goes in your brain. Not one time was like, I'm really exhausted. I wish it would stop. You're just like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This is good. I'm going to stop. You're just like, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. This is good. I'm going to die. Today is probably that day.

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I have never heard the story about how you got your Purple Heart. Have none of you? No. No. I don't know if you guys have. I've had the pleasure of hearing it, but it was many years ago. Okay. This was Patrol 2?

I want to say it was 2. Okay, yeah, this is the second mission. Oh, God. First mission. I remember the first mission, we pulled up and it was like, tink, t two, two. Okay. Yeah. This is the second mission. First mission. I remember first mission. Like we pulled up and it was like, I was like, Oh, this is war. Like dismounted into gunfire.

We took it. And that was like, I was like, Oh fuck. Okay. This is what we're signing up for. Got it. So mission two, I can tell you exactly. There was a fucking school right here. It was a courtyard for the school.

We were pushing down. I don't know what road it was. This was in Iraq, right and yeah Detroit so we're talking about gunfire in school you're gonna have to be way more specific so we had it was a day patrol and we were dismounted we were actually taking this is why we stopped taking strikers into non-main msrs so like senators these roads aren't going to mean anything but you have the main msrs where you drive two bases or move units and troops so we would just stick on those after this because

those little city blocks that's where they plant all the IEDs. You are not overwatching everything every single time. So they're digging up holes. They light tires up, melt the pavement, dig it up, build giant IEDs, plant giant IEDs so I can melt the pavement back down. Never would know. So we're on our patrol. Peaceful so far. I'm on the right side. Other team's on the left. And we have a striker right next to me.

MGS striker. Which is the 105 or the 125 tank strikers. We were the first ones with the MGS tank strikers in all of Iraq. We're walking down. Ennis is in front of me. And Beeson's behind me. Guy pops out with an AK.

Fires. I get down on the knee. So you didn't think it was too heavy? front of me and Beeson's behind me guy pops out with an AK and just fires. I get down on the knee. I'm like, he didn't think it was too heavy. Yeah. He popped around

complained really bad. He's a God. It's so heavy. And then he started shooting Eli's first thought as soon as he saw

that guy pop around the corner. I bet his arms are really tired. It won't take long to tell you Neutral's ingredients. Vodka. Soda. Natural flavors.

So, what should we talk about? No sugar added neutral refreshingly simple Jake's like I hate all these guys talking shit but I'm telling you man those will run you down I threw a shark hand at it I think it's because I was a cross-country runner.

In track, every extra weight you have is a waste. Track and combat, exactly the same. Running's involved, I guess. Yeah, running's involved. And there's medals. Exactly just like combat. Practically, I should probably be telling this story. Yeah, you take over. So homeboy pops out. exactly just like combat in fact practically i should probably be telling this story yeah you

you take over so homeboy pops out i fucking we return fire really quick and i feel something hit me in the leg around travel down the wall hit fucking hit me in the leg so immediately i'm like like fuck i see blood and i grab the back of my leg because I'm like, I'm going to bleed out. My biggest fear is bleeding out for whatever reason. I was always how I was like, this is how I die. So I was like, oh, it's good. It's good. We'll condense it.

Before I even did that, I was backing up because I felt it. Beeson's like, whoa, because I was like, I just got shot. So I'm backing up and shooting. And Ennis is here. Ennis is pushed out a little. I'm next to him shooting right over him. And I start backing up and shooting. And Ennis is here. Ennis is pushed out a little. I'm next to him shooting right over him. And I start backing up with Ennis. Beast is like, back up.

You're about to get in my fire. Boom. Fucking. Just the loudest explosion ever. Ennis thought an IED went off next to us. I look over. Sarn Cote is driving the MGS Stryker. He's like, you guys are good.

Did you just shoot that man with the tank? Yeah. Yeah. Bro. Fucking obliterated that entire segment of the wall. And that dude. What were they shooting out of the tank? What kind of?

A 105. Enough. Yeah. Enough. Enough. that was the very first lifetime supply and i uh that was i want to say the very first mgs round ever fired in all of iraq next to me at the dude that shot all at once in his thought an id went off so you guys are just completely fucked oh yeah because it was like the camera is how close the tank ground oh yeah it was over pressure yeah a lot of over pressure so it's like, boom, just fucking gone. Just everything gone. We pull back into there. I'm like, oh, okay.

Okay. I'm not bleeding out. It just went in and stopped. We're good. Everyone's like, you're good. You're good. And they're like, Quavis got shot. Blah, blah, blah.

Where'd you actually get shot? Right there. Right there. Boink. Okay, there you go. Nothing. Didn't exit? No, it literally went in and stopped.

I got super fucking lucky. Jesus Christ. Went in, stopped. When I went in and stopped i got super fucking lucky jesus christ went and stopped when i went like this bullet got knocked out wow yeah what the fuck i just had it was a rick oh yeah that's right yeah yeah yeah right the world's biggest bruise the next day though it wrapped around my whole fucking leg but uh well you you got shot yeah and i went to the wrong aid station that and i'll add that to the story so homeboy is fucking gone we x i remember like everyone's like you got shot queen's got shot walked around the corner smith's there and they're like oh okay uh you're good i was like yeah and then my friends are like free license plates that's all naturally we're worried

about we go in we push right take an rpg uh that one actually exploded uh pushed around we had like that was that turned into an eight hour ten hour gunfight that day that was we lost two dudes fucking one two three four five purple hearts that day jesus mission two bro that's when all of us were like fuck so. So I get back, go to the wrong aid station, so I didn't even get a day off the next day. They're like, we just lost two dudes. That's the most government thing I've ever heard in my fucking life. Getting shot and not getting a day off. Imagine getting shot and getting, you went to the wrong doctor, stupid.

Go back to work. Because it was going back, and I remember we got back. We lost Gaudier. Shout out to Gaudier and Hamso, both of those. That was 1st Platoon and 3rd Platoon. And we cycled back. We got on base. I went to the other ace, because all this is going just with my company.

So I go to, I think, like Charlie or Alpha Company to their doctor real quick. I was like, well, I'll just go see their nurse if they can bandage me up real quick. And they're like, what are you doing here? I'm like, well, they're like, why is your uniform all fucked up? Why aren't you using your own medic? I was like, well, I got shot in a mission. They're like, oh, my God, we're so sorry. Dude, the switch of like, oh, shit, no.

Hey, hey, come here. We're so sorry. Actually, go to the doctor. Let's take you to the hospital. So I walked to the hospital. Why is your uniform all fucked up? The bullet, mostly. So naturally, it's like, go to the hospital.

So I was like, OK, let's go to the chow hall first because I'm not bleeding out. So we ate chow because I haven't had hot chow in a while. We then go to the hospital, sit down. They fucking cut my pants over, do everything, do the paperwork. I leave. And I didn't go to the hospital, sit down. They fucking cut my pants over, do everything, do the paperwork. I leave. And I didn't go to my unit's aid station. So I had no paperwork other than I just got. So next day, we don't even get a day off.

I remember our first sergeant was like, hey, we just, this is going to happen. This is war. We just lost people. Like, people got injured. It's going to be an off day on tempo. One hour later, hey, we have a mission. Sorry. That was a lie.

You guys have to clear this house. And I remember it was like all of us are now on edge. We are just like, fuck. So they're like, 3rd Platoon, go fucking clear this house. Walking up. And I'm like, god damn it. I'm like leading the file. And then we didn't know.

I want to say first squad was always there. And we were about to round the corner of the front of this house. And then we hear a fucking machine gun go off. And I'm like, boom. And I just ducked back. I'm like, God damn it. Why? And we look.

And then Sergeant Tetra walks around. He's like, sorry, I was opening the door. It was locked. So I used the saw. I was like, you fuckheads. Oh, my God. I thought I just got ambushed again. I love that sentence, though.

The door was locked, so I used the saw. I mean, whatever works. We tried opening the doors with 203s. Good luck, anybody behind that door. I'm more impressed that it was a try. Oh, it opened.

Sorry. No, it opened. Sorry. No, you opened. We tried with 203. Those didn't work. But yeah, that was the game. 203, so without proper paperwork from the medical, how did you actually get the Purple Heart? The paperwork was submitted and everything like that. But you don't get a sick hall are they, a sick hall pass essentially.

A profile. Yeah, a profile. Like Kodoka, when Kodoka got hit in the head and the helmet stopped it, like he sat up, he's like, what the fuck? He's like, I got shot in the head. Bullet rode the ridge out, popped back out. And he went to the proper aid station, had a few days off. I was like, you piece of shit.

I was like, oh oh i didn't get that well you still don't have to pay property taxes you got that going for you that was pretty one thing i like about it but yeah oh yeah when we tried to open doors with 203 that was the step like we were i don't know we found off distance or we thought we were standing off distance so we're like go and just hit the wall or hit the door and fell we're like, go! And just hit the door and fell. We're like, fuck. Let's go back a little further and try again. Well, let's go to the next house.

Good luck handling those grenades on the ground. They're fine. Go play catch. I don't know. Put it on the FBCB2. We'll just mark it and we'll move on. Mission success. Mission accomplished. Whatever you do, kids and we'll move on. Mission success. Mission accomplished. Whatever you do, kids, just don't rotate it 30 times.

Throw it at the wall. Go deep! Perfect NFL spiral. Oh my god! He's going to be a quarter. Oh my god! Well, the running back's gone. The funny part is that will never not be recorded as a war crime, even though you guys Oh my God. Well, the running back's gone. Yeah.

The funny part is that would never not be recorded as a war crime, even though you guys didn't do it. It's like, oh yeah, I'm sure the kid just threw a 203 grenade at the other kid. Well, that was, yeah, it's an actual story of what played out on that day. Like, oh yeah, sure. I'm sure his buddy grenaded him. Yeah, sure. Sure. Mahid playing 500 out there. name like uh-oh yeah sure i'm sure his buddy grenaded him yeah sure sure makid he's playing

500 out there more it's fantastic did you see that well no no there was like one news article came out a couple years ago where like somebody's grandpa has been just that he's had this mallet for opening walnuts like as long as this dude could remember it's just oh it's grandpa's fucking walnut mallet it was a fucking german stick grenade from world war ii and it was live the whole time no it's just open on a rock dude that generation was fucking built different. Wait, it was just a dude? Yeah. His old potato masher? Yep.

That was like that. Did you see the, it was like a museum for, I don't know if it was World War II vets hanging out. It was like people in the wheelchair. Did you see that? Which one? It was a World War II vet. It was just a video of like, hey, there's this museum and World War II vets are hanging out. And they're like all in wheelchairs.

But the camera stops. It cuts to like a dude's reaction because one of those old World War II vets, he's like wheeling around by himself. And he's carrying a fucking tank mine. And the camera stops and like, why the fuck does this dude just carry an anti-tank mine on? He's just this old World War II vet. It's like his security blanket. He's just wheeling around in his wheelchair. Carried it with me everywhere since 43. It wasn't live.

I hope not. I don't know. Maybe. Oh, my God. Well, why would you carry around a non-live anti-tank mine? Maybe he's like, is his comfort blanket because he dug so many up. He was like, look. That's what we're thinking.

I mean, homeboy's fucking using a potato masher to open walnuts That's fucking insane who wants better sex and it start having better sex right now That's the best way to get started. Are you Canadian? I am for this ad read That's right The best way to get started is go to Adam and Eve calm right now Adam and Eve is offering 50% off from any item, plus free shipping, which includes rush processing, like these.

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Okay, Nick, your video. Okay, which one? The one you, I can't, it's got to be uploaded this week. I can't tell it if this is the podcast going up this week. Is this one going up this week? Yeah. Oh shit. I can't tell it yet.

Why? Because it's, my video's going up. I sacrificed for the UNSUB podcast it yet why because it's oh yeah my video is going up i sacrifice for the unsub podcast nick now it's your turn do we get a teaser god damn it i just want to know a little bit all right i'll tell you what just give me a little just i'm gonna give you the two titles that i'm working with and you guys can tell me which title is the best you're all youtube people right so title number one america's original gangster or america's first gangster or old man tells the british empire to get off his lawn yes that one that one okay good and then

you have a picture of clint eastwood get get off my lawn clint eastwood with like the queen well she's passed but you know something representing the british empire at the queen while she's passed. But something representing the British Empire. I stand by it. The queen. Yeah. It's pretty red. Get off my lawn. Three red coats running away. That's actually pretty good, Clint Eastwood, with your face. You're photoshopped on it.

It's already in the video multiple times. That line, that cut of Clint Eastwood, it's in the video like four times. Damn it. You can't tell anything. Give me a time frame on this. April 19thth 1775 yes nice okay all right i have no idea well um old guy grizzled veteran i'm not going to tell you the whole story dude's a complete gangster french and indian war veteran or? King George. King George War prior to the French Indian War.

Oh, wow. Okay. So basically the first version of the French Indian War. Yep. Veteran at 48. French and Indian War veteran at 58. Pontiac Rebellion veteran at 68. 78, the American Revolution.

Fucking Paul Revere, okay, this dude lived in Arlington, Massachusetts, okay, Boston, like one if by land, two if by sea,

Paul Revere takes off. Yeah. It's fucking Boston, Arlington, Lexington, Concord. The first battle is Lexington and Concord. Paul Revere showed up at Homeboy's house

in the middle of the night. He's like, the British are coming. And when the british showed up he told him to get off his fucking lawn just 78 year old grizzled veteran two dueling pistols that he acquired during the pontiac rebellion because the previous owner and i quote, died suddenly. Goes out in his front yard and 700 British soldiers are retreating back to Boston and just confronts them. Takes out three British dudes.

Oh my God. Wow. 78 years old. Wait, I thought Lexington Conqueror was 74. It was 75. 75. Okay. Yeah, and then the war was like,

revolution was officially declared in 1776. Right. Wow. Which is when history began. Yeah, so then he also, at that day, is when history began. What's his name? Ron Swanson quote,

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So he also had a, like this super gaudy French officer sword that previous owner died suddenly. So he goes out in his front yard musket, two pistols. I just think you're just sword that previous owner died suddenly. Yeah. So he goes out in his front yard, musket, two pistols. I just think you're just shooting people. It's like, he died suddenly. Musket, two pistols, French officer's sword. Shoots with the musket, kills a British guy, whips out the two pistols,

kills two more, pulls out the sword, and charges at 78 years old. They shoot him in the face immediately. Okay, yeah. With a musket. Did they stop to form up? I don't know. He just got shot in the face. Falls down. Goes to get back up. Didn't die suddenly.

They charge him. They stab him with a bayonet 13 times. And then they hit him in the head with a buttstock and leave him dead. They take off retreating back to Boston because all the other men are like shooting from like the wood line and shit he's just like yeah fuck you in his front yard so four hours later his corpse starts moving and the town runs up there oh shit he was just unconscious from getting hit in the head with the buttstock of the rifle christ and he wakes up

thinking they're still around and starts loading his fucking guns again. So they take him to the hospital and the doctor, they get his family. They take him to the doctor and the doctor is like, dude, 78 years old in the 1700s. He was supposed to die. Life expectancy was like 28. No,

it was 60, but fucking. Like being 108 now. Yeah. It's like, yeah, it's like a hundred in colonial years. Like dude wasn't ready to fall off of two steps,

let alone get fucking bayoneted 13 times and shot in the face. So that happens. He takes it to the doctor. The doctor is like, he's fucked. Like, I'm not, get him off my table. He's dead. He's gonna die.

Just get him out. Well, guess how many living descendants this dude has at this point in time? Living direct descendants from him at this point in time. Like right now? No, no. At this point in time. Living direct descendants from him at this point in time. Like right now? No, no. At this point in time.

He's at the doctor. 20. No. No. Not even fucking close. 52. No. Not even close.

Not even close. 200? A hundred and 85 direct descendants. Between his kid, he has five generations beneath him at this point in time. It's colonial. He's been fucking since he was 15

just having kids the entire time. Yeah, you had kids not out of necessity to carry on your gene. Plus, he's literally a minute man. Right. Damn. Anyways. He's proud of that joke he's like

a mimic man i i see what you did anyways so the doctor's like well i can't tell 185 grandkids fuck you grandpa's dead so he's like he does what he can banishes him up sends him home with the family to die right dude passes away february 3rd lived in 1793 or some shit dude lived for 18 more years oh my god bro grandpa's a fucking hard ass how do you how do you find these stories i don't know it's like do people send them to you yeah kind of people are like i kind of heard this one thing about this one guy and then i got to figure out what all is actually true and what's not. You find yourself on genealogy.com. I was there for that one.

That's how I found out he had 185 living descendants. How long does it take you to produce the research for an episode like that? It kind of just depends on the topic. A lot of the time I'm lucky and all the work's done, and it's just like all the work was done by historians that have no sense of humor and don't understand the military. Right.

So like military history is all taught from the perspective of the commanding officer that wrote the documents and that's all the historians look at. Right. It's like, that's not what fucking happened. I promise you that's not what happened. Yeah. Let's deep dive.

So then you get, that's the version of the story that sounded good to that guy's boss right exactly so like yeah so i don't know i kind of like read between the lines actually listen to what the dude said compared to what the officers say yeah how hard is it for like from 1776 because those are those like i know doing research even in the like western wild west period was difficult. For doing this, this dude was born in Charlestown, Massachusetts in 1696. And then he goes dark until he was 1721. He's like Jesus. He shows up.

What happened to him? Yeah, exactly. Between the time he taught the elders as a boy, between the time he comes back, what happened to him? Well, they wrote a couple of books about that guy. A couple. A couple? A big one, actually. It was a best-seller. Yeah, best-seller. He got shot in the face and stabbed a few times, too.

Kind of. He did get stabbed a few times. Yeah, one or two. So he just disappeared? I mean, he just goes dark like there's no historical record. Like, he was born, nothing happens, and then the next time he shows up in historical record. Like he was born, nothing happens, and then the next time he shows up in historical records was when he got married to his wife in 1721. And then from there, the only time he pops up

is when he's the dad on a fucking birth certificate, which is a lot. Dude is just plowing or fighting wars. He's replacing all the life he's taken. He props his wife or he's killing people. That's all he does, his whole life. He had two, but most of his kids were from his first wife. His first wife passed away later in life.

How many kids did he have? That was common until 80 years ago. I think he had 10 kids with the first one, but he did it when he was like, you know, less than 30. He had 10 kids. He had five generations beneath him, so great, great, great grandkids it's

like john cooger mellon camp dude's running like og pyramid schemes like my john cooger mellon camp was like a grandfather at 36 or some shit like that really yeah wow no shit if you're dedicated you can still do this even my dad even my dad's dad uh had his first his first wife died in childbirth. My uncle's his half-brother. And that was only in 1938. Yeah, that didn't change for a... Yeah. That's a recent event of like, hey, we can actually do something

if your wife starts bleeding out suddenly on the operating table. For the most part, it was just... We're such pussies now. Yes, that's... Can I say that on this? Yeah, of course you can. Okay, because man.

Yes, that's the line. Pussy is the line. We've said it once or twice. You know what I mean. No, for sure. Not built like they used to. No. No fucking triangular bayonets are a war crime.

Homie took 13 of them and walked it off. Back in my fucking day. How do you get stabbed 13 times? I had a buddy who was in the 101st, and he was at some event, and he was talking with a guy that was on Iwo Jima, and he was like, so tell me, what was it like to strangle an Iraqi?

We strangled a bunch of Japs on Iwo Jima. And I was like, and he was like, well, sir, we attacked him from a distance. And he was like, we didn't exactly do that. Eddie Gallagher did. I mean, allegedly. Allegedly. Allegedly.

Allegedly. Until he was about to go to jail for life. Totally did. And the medic was like, hold on, hold on. That was a gangster story, too. Yeah. That was so gangster. I remember reading it the first time.

I was like, this sounds like horse shit. Because a sniper, and they're messing with his optics to stop him from doing it. I was like, day two of your optics getting fucked. Which one of you fucks is fucking with my glass? Did you see what happened with Eddie Gallagher's on how that whole team got what the lawyers did? Only what I watched a podcast where he went into intricate detail on it.

About how he got off? Well, the lawyer fucking sent the Trojan to track emails of the, that's what happened. It was the opposing counsel. I didn't hear that. You didn't know this oh yeah the prosecuting the prosecuting they sent a fucking that they sent a key uh it was yeah it was a trojan horse from a dod email address to another dod email address so they could copy

everything and see if they could get anything. So when. That's so illegal. Oh, yeah, because that's how they got off real quick because they brought it in. They're like, hey, what the fuck is this? You didn't know this? No, I didn't know that. Yeah, bro. They brought it to like the other IT and they're like, yeah, no, they traced it back to the prosecuting council. And they're like, yeah, no, this is where it came from.

And that's why it fell apart. Did you know that? Yeah. Well, that reminds me of a different story. I don't know why I'm surprised. Like, I don't know why I'm surprised. I just still sometimes I'm still surprised. Well, Navy hated him.

There was one recently. It was a recent scandal, like last couple months, I think, where they found out because of a spelling error, the DOD had been sending shitloads of top secret information to a third world country. Because of the email address, it was something like accounts or whatever, at like.mil. And instead they were like MLL or something like that. And it was just going directly to the

government of some third world country. I don't remember which one it was. Malaysia, isn't that how that works? It might have been something like that. Some guys just being awarded everything. I think it was some African country. The greatest intel officer we've ever had.

He's just getting awards. They're like, how do you do it? He's like, years of operating. You've got mail. Another one came in. He's just handing it off. It's just printing him out. Like, how did he do this?

Instead of mail, I did dot capital I-L or whatever it is. He's going to knock on the door. Why does Malaysia have Abrams blueprints? Oh my God. Dude, I'm so surprised you didn't know about the whole...

You have to read about the prosecutor. No, I mean, yeah, I know the general details, but I don't know those. Navy hated him, so that was like their mission was to get a Navy seal. They were like, we have to fucking crucify this dude crucify him and then all that and then the trojan whores got leaked they're like hey uh they walked i remember like they just brought it in they're like hey what's this they're like right and that dude didn't get in trouble which is the most fucked up part

didn't know i couldn't do that that's that's what I mean. Really? That's how I got off? Probably. You didn't get in trouble? Yeah, probably. Did not get in trouble. Right. Yeah. The military is a whole other ballgame.

It's this, like, the accountability doesn't necessarily apply unless you're, you know, some particular person in the circumstances. And that's why people get so pissed. Because it's like... Well, the circumstances it's and that's why people get so pissed because it's like we're like well mine is it's war like war like shit happens in war people expect it to be like this oh and we still like for the most part americans getting shot like some of the roes we were at was like hey you can't shoot unless they're pointing their gun and shooting at you they can have guns you can't do do it. Evan put it the best. He said, war is the most unpolitically correct thing you can do to somebody else.

And I was like, that's it. You nailed it. Yeah, there's kind of a solid agreement. Hey, we're going to invade your country and kill anybody who tries to stop us. Right. But you compare that to man reading on the Civil War. I was like, what are the bloodiest battles in America? And then you see our death tolls during the Civil War. I was like, Jesus!

Antietam was like 30,000 in one day. The Civil War, I'm going to get on a little history here because I'm all about the Civil War. That's the best bragging point ever. Who's killed the most Americans? Americans. We're the best at it. That's what we did to ourselves.

That's what we're going to fucking do to you. That was the precursor to the techniques, not techniques, the tactics used in World War I. I mean, Robert E. Lee invented the trench system when he had to defend Petersburg and Richmondmond and he had a line 60 miles long and it was spread apart there was one soldier three meters apart from petersburg to richmond it's like how do we defend this oh well let's just dig a hole in the ground and have people that was the first time anybody did that that in fredericksburg with the the brick wall yeah the

stone wall yeah because Because they cleaned house. I think it was like the death toll there because they had to assault a hill. Right. Where we, like, Robert E. Lee and I forget who was also there at the time, but they had artillery already set up. They had all their dudes behind, like, a literal stone fucking wall and have a clear shot of an open field where they're having to cross a river. That was the river, too. Yeah. They were trying to get across a river and then into the town the

death the death toll for the uh the confederates was like 3 000 i think for the union it was like 12 000 it was yeah yeah yep i can't wait to do a ulysses s grant video oh dude the butcher so good grant the butcher wait his nickname was the Butcher? Yes. He's a complete anti-hero. Okay, let's go. I haven't done all the work yet. I haven't done the research, but my understanding is he was a complete fuck-up in officer school.

He was really good, but also a complete typical anti-hero of I'm super talented, I'm just not going to fucking listen or do the right thing. And he washes out and goes and starts working in his rich father's leather tannery for a bunch of years. And Abraham Lincoln is like, I need somebody that can fucking win a war. And they go and get this dude out of a leather factory. Yeah, he was in some leather factory in Illinois.

And he starts beating everybody's ass. So he cut his teeth on Vicksburg because Vicksburg was this very weird position in the south. It's on the Mississippi, and you can't really get to it at that time. I don't know if you've ever been to that part of Mississippi. Huge. I love going there. Well, no, but the Mississippi River gets bigger and wider, and the swamps around it get more intense

the further south you go. And so they were trying to get to Vicksburg so that they could split the Confederacy in half. And they spent like 18 months trying to take this town. They came at it from every which angle. They had flotillas that would go through the swamps. They tried to build bridges. They tried to do everything in their power and eventually nobody could do it and then eventually grant did it and then they're like yeah you hey you you the guy yeah i i know

like there's rumors about you being a drunk or whatever and like not you know not having any ambition or whatever i don't know just come to washington drunks get shit done and he and he shows up in washington and like his oversized dirty duster and there was a hotel that all the people would show up at and he showed up at this hotel and like this duster and nobody even recognized him until he wrote his name on the like sign-in sheet and then uh everyone realized it was like the ulysses s grant and then yeah then, I mean, look, he did what he had to do. One of his techniques, though, was just simply, well, you know all those guys that like McClellan and all the guys who came after him weren't using,

who are perfectly trained, and there's like 150,000 of them defending D.C.? Yeah, bring them down. Bring them down. And basically that's what he did. He just got the veteran soldiers, and he was like, hey, these guys are already fucking... They were so well provisioned

and trained and organized that he knew... At that point, it was getting late in the war. The South couldn't resupply men and they had these conscription armies that were running around the South. Basically, if you were any military age male

and you weren't fighting, they would literally take you and conscript you and make you fight. And so they didn't have any men, and Grant knew that, and so he became, his nickname, at least from the Southern perspective, became the Grant the Butcher

because he would just send people at it until it was over. That's basically what happened. He was one of the only generals who actually had balls from the Union because there was McClellan and Burnside and just a bunch of these other generals that just sucked. They were like what the South lacked. Which is where hookers come from, by the way.

Yeah, General Hooker. Wait, for real? Yeah. Because he was a big prostitute fan. He said, yeah, eat, drink, and be merry for tomorrow we die, that whole thing. He was like, we're, eat, drink, and be married for tomorrow. We die. That whole thing. Like he was like, no, I don't know that. We're going to bring in a bunch of, we're going to bring in a bunch of,

we're going to bring in a bunch of. And then the guys will like have a good time before they go to battle the next day. Fun fact. After Grant took a bunch of soldiers from defending DC, you know, who summoned an army from his state and took it to DC to defend the White House for a minute, a militia, Cass clay cash is yeah did he he was back from russia at this point and he uh he like got a kentucky militia and marched him up to the white house to stand guard the white house

randomly forrest gump sitting out of history it's amazing it's amazing so good you did a whole episode on yeah yeah dude that guy this is so many just hard asses badass yeah i could not picture that in this day like fucking everything goes to shit and it's like they'd be like come on guys let's go defend the white house look oh man i got really mad after a comment about like a tank similar to the F-16 one, but it was like, well, what's it going to do against an Abrams tank? And it's like, okay. I mean, just off the top of my head, I think America's got like 7,500, 8,500-ish Abrams tanks.

Let's go to magical fairytale land where they're all working. They're not, but let's just say they were. Magical fairytale land. Magical fairytale land. Again, they don't need fuel. They just run on magic. they don't need fuel. They just run on magic. Yeah.

They don't need maintenance. Nothing ever breaks. Right. The crew is robots. They don't need food or supplies or a break or to go to the bathroom. Thank God. America is small, magical.

Okay. Completely magical. If that was the case, I did the math. You would have one Abrams tank to cover 750 square miles to cover America. It's like even with magic on your side. How many backhoes were in 750 square

miles? There's literally a ranch in Texas that's bigger than the state of Rhode Island. That's fucking ridiculous. Okay, I want to know more about this. Private warships? They did it in England, too. Just think about privateers and shit.

Privateering was a big thing. Dunkirk, when all the guys were stuck there, they were like, hey, Englishmen, whoever owns a boat, literally anybody with a boat. Motherfuckers with boats, come get the British soldiers. Douglas Bottas up in the air, fighting Germans.

You know, like early 1800s, all that shit. Dude, there were privately owned warships. There was also one... It's privateering. You're basically a pirate, but you do it with a legal permission from a particular country.

Basically, they say you can attack anybody in the sea. You can attack anybody as long sea basically yeah you can attack anybody as long as it's not us yeah so pmcs well i mean that's how like pirate hunting and shit work too we're like that's what some like what some countries deemed pirates were like oh they just like got the thumbs up from the british from the east india trading company yeah we go fuck up whatever else they want yeah that's that's a yeah it's a pirate that's why america doesn't use a goddamn metric system fucking pirates imagine getting a imagine getting a privateering contract from the british

east india trading company not even from the british government but like the trading from them they're like look they control the sea and all the trade in it i mean yeah you have our permission it's fine just go out there and like disturb a couple of frenchmen it's fine and then the buccaneers were no like the term buccaneer comes from the french sailors who used to no tom brady no yep that's the one it becomes they used to they used to barbecue on their ships and so the buccaneers that's what it refers to. Are you going to have to lay that one out a little bit? Buccaneer means like barbecue. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Wait, does it? Yeah. I don't know that one. Don't look at me. We did a whole short film on like pirates. Yeah, I remember the Blackbeard. Yeah, and we did a bunch of pirate research. Yeah, Assassin's Creed 4.

God, that was years ago. It was years ago. It was years ago. It was a fucking... We had the worst extra on that set. Oh, no. He was a stuntman. He wasn't an extra. He was a stuntman.

But we had these squibs, okay? And, you know, squibs, like, when they go off, they can hurt. What a squib is, is anytime you see blood, like, they don't do them anymore. If you get shot in the old movies, and then out the back, too. Tarantino did them in Django Unchained. I still think they look good. Oh, they're my favorite things. I think they fucking.

And so we were going to do one of these, and the guy was, we had these cool black powder pistols, and we could light them off because they're black powder. And so it was really cool. We got. So could you electrically time the pistol to the squib? No, but we, you know, with a little bit of know-how, we just kind of cut it and timed it out.

Put a real bullet in there. And so we had this one guy and we're like, we're like, okay, you're going to get shot. You're going to be in a chair and you're going to pull up your gun to fire and then you're going to get shot and you're going to go flying back in your chair. And so this guy, he was so worried about being squibbed. Like he pulled

his gun up the first take and he gets shot and he, and he just kind of like emotionlessly collapses on. And, and he, he did one of these and we're like, okay, we're going to reset that and go for take two. We're going to ask you to act 20 minutes later.

We're like, okay, whoa, calm down over there. They're stumbling, not actors. And then he did Whoa, calm down over there. They're stuntmen, not actors. And then he did it again, and then we had to move on because it was just like the worst performance.

Did you cut it from the? I think it's in there, actually. And then the funniest part about it, and this isn't to talk shit. It's just a funny anecdote. 100% to talk shit. No, it's just a funny anecdote. Like there's a culture of like, what do you call it? Pir pirate reenactors and um so we hired a bunch of these guys because they have they had

all the gear smelly they had all the equipment they had all the cool stuff you know they knew the history so it was really nice to have these guys come on the set and they were very very nice and and and they did it they did they had they made a great addition to the piece but the funniest thing thing was that they were all, the day before, we were like, all right, guys, we're going to go out on a tall ship. We're going to be sailing on the open ocean on a tall ship filming. So everyone take some Dramamine because tomorrow you could have motion sickness. And they were all like, bro, we're pirates, bro. Like, we don't need Dramamine.

Oh, I know where this story's going. The next day, half of them, literally half of them were sick in the, what's it called? You know, the undership. Yeah. The hull. The hull. Yeah, the hull.

Dude, it was so funny. Had they ever been on a boat? I don't know. How the fuck do you call yourself a pirate? After about 10 minutes on a tall ship, you do get used to it. You either get incredibly seasick or you don't. It's like one or the other. There's no in-between on that stuff.

There's no in-between. Yeah. Dude, I got into it. After 30 minutes, I was standing on the edge with my hand on the rope, riding while we were filming. It was really fun. This is one of the scariest things because that's when they actually this is drones had just become a thing yeah and you guys had your red epic drones oh over at the ocean and this is

again these just fucking came out eight thousand dollar camera body flying over on an eight thousand dollar on an eight thousand maybe it was like 18 i don't know that was 18 because you had the scarlet and that's just the body yeah scarlet that was back drone was the same cost so we had you know twenty thirty thousand dollars of equipment over the open ocean trying to get these wide shots with no gps no there was none of this no automated control no return home yeah none of the i'm out of range you're also not a range it's out of range those guys did a fantastic job that's when you actually rent like drone operators you'd have to pay somebody they bring on their fucking giant it was a helicopter yeah they were helicopters at

this point to carry those big assass cameras, and it was one dude They were just like I got it. I got it and one guy doing the visuals on the camera and one guy flying it And then over the ocean I remember watching that was like oh I'm getting nervous that would be really fucking funny though if you hit the return home button And you forget you're in a fucking naval vessel vessel it just goes fucks off to the random spot the water you were and then they didn't have return home and then we were trying to get a permit from the coast guard to let us take this other ship out um because it was uh it was a tall ship that they used in like master and commander and and all is the uss rose i believe and it was sort of they would allow the coast guard would allow it to transfer from one location to the other,

but it wasn't seaworthy. And they had applied for this transfer permit like five times, and other film productions had used it. And so we were like, well, we'll just use the transfer permit. And then finally, the government was like, no, no more transfer permits.

You guys are using this for film production, and we happen to be the ones who they came down on. So then in like literally a week week we had all this production lined up to film on a tall ship fortunately there was another one in dana point california that we were able to use but it was much smaller and when the guys got in the hall when they all got sick it was like way smaller than the other one fucking vomit yeah and they they caught we clogged up all the bathrooms so you couldn't you way smaller than the other one. Fucking vomit. Yeah. And we clogged up all the bathrooms, so you had to pee off the side of the... They're used to those tiny little colonial shits.

Yeah. They're not used to the hungry man jumbo meal. Me after brunch. Fucking Christ. So Civil War is your bread and butter butter on history that's kind of my jam yeah the civil war and then i've been getting into texas history lately in the comanches and then um you know to be stereotypical the decline and fall of the roman empire which there's a great how often do you think about it all day every day yeah there's a great history uh it's a good it's

a good base analysis i love jake written in 1793 he's so autistic um he's just smart base analysis. That's what I love, Jake. It was written in 1793. He's so autistic. He's just smart, Eli. Oh, that's what we call it. It was written in 1793 by this man named Edward Gibbon. He sort of like compiled the sort of foundational knowledge of the decline and fall of the Roman Empire from Caesar to 1500 AD. And so I've been reading through that one.

But I took a side journey to read Lonesome Dove, which is a great novel about Texas. And then... You guys need information about... He's all the gaps that I don't like. Bro, his library. Weakest spot, Civil War. He's the expert.

Oh, I got the Civil War. Yeah. Back in college, I have a whole class just about World War II. Haven't read a single thing. Have 100% in it, though. Really? I swear to God, it's just me shitting on college students. The whole class is graded on discussions, and I'm taking just extreme points of view

and winning every argument. Are you going to college right now? Yeah. Doing this now? Yeah. Okay. For Fonzies. Wow.

You're getting a degree for history? Yeah. Dude, that's, God, people are built different. Like, I look at you guys, I'm like, okay, like a lawyer, just studying it. You too. You're like, I want to be an electrician, and I'm going to do these crazy TikTok videos, and then I'm going to do some YouTube videos. And I'm just going to happen to make long form YouTube and crush.

And then you're going to hang out with this group. And everyone's like, do fucking long form, Nick. You dumb fuck. It worked out. Okay. His first. Dude, his first video. How many views did your first long form get?

I don't know. Is that like a million something now? Piece of shit. Just imagine your first long form. Because these guys come from like the old OG YouTube. You don't know where I've been, man. I love that. Even Brandon.

It's like these time frames of decades, decades. And then Nick's like, well, I started TikTok two years ago. And a million views. Look at my analytics. Those are pretty dope. Did you see that fucking Gen Z-er? I'm older than you. Are you?

Yes. Wait, are you? Yes. I remember being like super close in age. You guys are both babies, though. I'm 29. Oh, wait. What the fuck did I think you were?

I'm thinking of Aaron. No, I'm older than you. Shit. Oh, fuck. Everyone's a young bug, Brandon. Just not turning 28 in a couple days. Wait, what's the most gangster? So if you're in the...

Sorry, I love history. I'm like... Most gangster, the Civil War. Not Civil War, but the Roman Empire. Oh, dude, those guys... Look, there's a lot of similarities that can be drawn about today and then, but at the same time, absolutely fucking none.

Those guys, there was one incident where this is like 250 AD, 200 AD, tumultuous time, like past the Pax Romana, which is like the peace of Rome, the period from Augustus to 150 AD, where there was this sort of brilliant, peaceful period where the empire expanded, economies were working, they didn't need walls, they had foreign legions on all these different fronts. Plenty of roads.

Yeah, plenty of roads. Which actually, like I joke around, but that's like a big deal back then. Yeah, huge deal. Huge deal, yeah. The aqueducts weren't being attacked. They were great. And then things started to sort of, you know,

come apart at the seams because of the corruption and the comfort that the Empire had. And at one point, so the Praetorian Guard, which you may have heard of from, you know, the Gladiator movie where he's like, Praetorian, sometimes the blade sticks. You know, that whole scene. Oh, yeah, yep, yep, yep. Oh, the cold praetorian sometimes the blade sticks you know that oh the cold yeah sometimes the blade sticks exactly so praetorian guard particularly was like the um secret service of of the time they they but they were you know thousands thousands

of soldiers and and they were their job was to you know instill the security of the purple, the empire, whoever held the title of Augustus. Because it was Caesar, Julius Caesar, and then Augustus Octavian came along and he did an even better job and sort of solidified the empire as we think of it today. And then it became, you weren't truly the ruler unless you were Caesar Augustus. If you were just a Caesar, it was like, he might get knocked off. But if you were Caesar Augustus, only one guy got to hold that title. And this was a time where people were fighting for that. And there was a, there was an old sort of, uh, like blue blood, who, you know, he had the right sort of stats on becoming Caesar Augustus. Why was his blood blue? Jesus Christ.

I'm joking. Go on. The right stats at the time and he killed a lot of people. He went out to the Praetorians and they did what was called a donative. Okay. If you were going to petition the Praetorians to sort of instill you with power,

you had to give them what they called a donative, which is literally the same word donation. It was a fee. You said, I will give every Praetorian guard X amount of money if you support me. So converting this to modern times, Elon Musk would be president. Yes, and he literally outbid another times elon musk would be president yes and he literally outbid he outbid another going to mars boys the pretorians were like well we got

this guy over here and he's offering us this and we got you over here and you're offering us this and he offered them more money so they said well fine you will invest you with the purple and you'll be caesar augustus and that guy was was literally Caesar for like 30 days until another guy found out about it from some other section of the empire and came with his army and just took it. And that's, that's, they used to do that stuff all the time.

I was so gangster back in the day. It was just bloodshed as hell or fear, bloodshed and fear and then when you get into the later stuff you get some of these really sort of eccentric characters that come from the sort of barbarian fringes of the empire that the barbarian because you know there was a whole thing like we citizenship roman citizenship was an actual thing like there was taxation legal title all these things that were based upon Roman citizenship. And as the empire expanded,

they would give citizenship to more fringe elements of the empire to sort of quell the fronts and to position them in a way that affiliated them towards the empire rather than towards the fronts who were against the empire. But then eventually they got a little carried away with that and they got a

little bit too, you know, hand out to you with how many, who was a citizen, but it allowed for these really eccentric characters to come up from these fringes, like, and,

and become Caesars from all these strange walks of life. And the book basically goes into all that stuff. Fucking T. I don't know any of this shit. I'm like, what the fuck? Are we just going to play fuck with Eli with history facts? I love it, though. It's your turn.

Yeah, history. All right, I got one. I can't fucking remember his name off the top of my head. We're talking about Civil War and talking about privately owned warships and everything like that. There was one of these, I'm trying to remember, Buchanan something or another.

I can't remember who it was. But it was a Confederate general or colonel or something like that that basically bought his own commission. He basically was just like, yeah, I'm rich as shit. I think he was from Charleston, I believe. He was rich as shit. And he was just like, yeah, I want to be in control of a regiment of soldiers and I'm going to arm them all with my shit I'm going to buy them all their

equipment I'm going to buy them everything and like he basically like funded a good bit of just his own basically he bought his own regiment and then went out and then they just fucking kicked ass it was kind of like the confederate version of the Rough Riders.

No shit. So he just bought everything out. Dude, it's so interesting. It's going to bother me that I don't know that. Look at, get his name. That, those are like all those stories. It's Japanese history. Are you ready for mine?

Yeah. Oh, you know that. I love this. This is my tism right now. Do you know who the first American to find out that Stalin died was? Who? The first American to find out that Stalin died. Is he going to be a pop culture person?

Okay. I kind of figured that's where this was going. A Beatle? Nope. American. Jesus Christ. Yeah. I'm thinking like Western.

Johnny Cash. Really? Radio tech in the war. He was the first one to receive the transmission that Joseph Stalin died. No shit. So, yeah, there's that. Wait, for real? Yeah.

He didn't find out. I mean, some historians are going to argue and be like, well, he got it in Russian, so he actually just wrote it down and then gave it to the translator, and the translator would technically. He's the one that heard the fucking translation. But those people are really fucking annoying. Yeah, they're really fun at parties. Dude, that's fucking crazy.

And did you find out what your guy's is? No, I'm going to have to look into that later. It's been years since I heard that story. Dude, all those things, it's like, I love those little segments of history because it is like, hey, money. I can buy this, and then I can equip my soldiers with the best equipment, which makes a huge fucking difference, in my honest opinion. I mean, money talks and bullshit takes the bus. That's like the fucking, that is the universal lesson of history. What was, God, I went off a deep end for a second was it like didn't one of lewis and clark or

somebody in there they had like this super cool it was like a repeating rifle but it was a fucking air musket it was yeah they're like very expensive very whatever but he could actually fire off like a lot of ammunition a minute if it was functioning properly. Air rifles were a big thing before we got self-contained cartridges. That was a big thing. There's a lot of steampunk prototype weapons that were all air-powered. There was one I had not heard of, and I can't remember what it's called, but actually Dick Masterson was the one who told me about it. He's like, ah, you're a big gun guy.

You probably know this. And I did not know about it. It was like an early, like it was like a 1700s, 1800s prototype that was basically just like a bowl that would spin really fucking fast. And it had a hole in it. And basically it would just use centripetal force to fucking sling bullets real goddamn quick. Wow.

I was like, wow wow what a fucking weird concept that's super cool there's all sorts of weird stuff like before we figured out oh oh here's here's a really cool history fact i went down this rabbit hole because i was looking at um uh specifically gatling guns okay you're gonna make an ak version of one no the uh i think sons of guns actually did that back in the day. Like a Sega 12 shotgun. It was retarded. So, Eli, you'll like this. Cool history fact.

Do you know when the first minigun was patented? Like an electric? I already told you. It was like the first electric. It was literally like one of the first documented uses for an electric motor was fuck it. Let's put it on a gun.

It was like one of the first things he did. It was like in the 1870s, but they were looking at it and they basically patented the minigun 80 years before General Electric ever touched it. Because they were just like, it was literally like the Tony Stark's dad thing. Are you telling me that Edison claimed something that didn't belong to him? I don't know if it was Edison. He never did. No, because I've seen the drawings

and there's like a big round. Okay, I got it. Yeah, I'm slow. But what they did, because they were thinking of an electrically fired Gatling gun, essentially. They were like, we literally don't have the technology

to feed this fast enough. They said hypothetical rate of fire of 2,000 rounds a minute. They're like, we can shoot it. We just can't feed it. We don't know how. Let's put a pin in this. It was the Tony Stark dad thing where he's like, this is technology that is above my time.

But here, keep this for later, and you'll figure it out when you have the tech. Wow. Because that was before, obviously, we had self-contained cartridges that fed on a belt or anything like that. And once we got that all figured out, we literally went back and we're like, hey, hold on. Wait a minute. I want to kill a lot of people really quick. Let's dig that old patent out. I love old weapon tech.

It's the most crazy shit. As you're saying, it's like humans are just like, oh, motor. What can we do first? Car? No. Kill. Look, as advanced as we are, the two things that progress our society forward technologically is war and sex.

Yes. Yeah, literally. As much as we like to pretend we're savages. VR. If you wonder why VR tech is the way it is, it's as we like to pretend we're savages vr if you wonder why vr tech is the where it is it's because we want to fuck robots this is literally why vr some incels wanted to get down pornography has led to so much technological innovation it's like it's degenerative shit but like that's just objectively true right that's what i mean we just want to fight and fuck. That's all we want to do. That's the cyberpunk with that. As you were saying on the anime,

they just VR and they have the dick stroke. Women are fucked. It's kind of a miracle that we're as lawful and civilized as we generally are. We'll take it for granted. It took a couple thousand years to years a couple of thou it's

like you guys were we're talking about how all power was was basically derived from just fear and blood and you know i'm so glad that we don't do that anymore like to secure the petrodollar for example right wait yeah no no no we're going with that that's what we're going on yeah no fuck it yeah that's exactly what happened when was the first the first guns were invented during the um mongolian what do you consider a gun the mongolians they use them for the they would ride them on the horse and the really yeah mongolians built mongolians were the first ones to develop like they would use explosives in battle. Really?

Yeah. Oh, yeah, Genghis Khan was a fucking G with that shit. They also used the riding into battle. They found out if you put a tube and a metal tube, and you would ride, and you put TNT or explosives in it and just jam shit down it. Goes out the enemy direction? Yeah, and they're like, hey, this is dope,

just for explosives too. Wow. They would use dead bodies and stuff to launch over walls in order to poison. They also found out, hey, this shit explodes too. Use that. Like Genghis Khan, you were looking at, he invented the Minutemen.

A lot of kids. A lot of kids. He had a lot more than your guy. A lot more than 185. I'll tell you that much. He uninvented a lot of other people's kids. Yes, he did. So much so he reduced the carbon footprint of the entire planet.

I mean, he did that. He did. Literally, you can track that environment. Do you know that, right? Climate change. He changed the carbon footprint on the planet. He killed so many people. He was not for climate change. He was the carbon footprint on the planet. Not for climate change.

He was for climate preservation. I don't know. I forget. He fucking killed enough people that there was an actual change in the carbon footprint that is documented. Jesus Christ. He killed a fucking shit ton of people.

That's true. He killed a fucking shit ton of people. That's true. He killed, was it like fifth or tenth percent of the population? It was a percentile of the human population. That's a feat. That's why Hitler's your climate hero. I never thought of it like that.

I read my... I read my... There's nothing in there about... Bye, Woody. Oh, my God. It just flew away. Do you have time for one more story? Huh?

One more story that you may or may not know. Go. I can't remember which side did it, okay? But this sounds like some redneck engineering, so I'm going to say Confederate just off the top of my head. Civil War. Fucking rednecks. The Battle of Petersburg.

Yeah, okay. Yeah. Do you know about the Petersburg crater? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. That's a cool one. Yeah, tell that one.

So that was like a fucking 1800s nuke. Yeah. So what they basically That's a cool one. Yeah, tell that one. So that was like a fucking 1800s nuke. Yeah. So what they basically did is they dug into the earth. They knew basically where they were going to fight, so they're like, all right. So what if we lay an ambush where they dug up a bunch of land, filled it with barrels of gunpowder, like a fuckload? So either side, they were entrenched. They were entrenched outside of Petersburg.

They had holes in the side of the hills. Nobody was moving anywhere. So the Union gets this great idea. Was it Union? Yeah. They were like, what if we just dug a giant tunnel over to the Confederate side and then put a bunch of gunpowder in it and exploded

their entrenchments and they were in the middle of doing this and like something did something go wrong i don't remember but i've been to the giant hole in the earth in between these two battlements. And yeah. It's a big fucking crater. How much fucking TNT was that? Quite a lot. British did it to the Germans in World War I. It was way bigger though. What was that one? I think they killed like, they dug, it's called sapping, where you dig underneath.

They sapped for two years. They dug a tunnel system and carried in black powder and explosives underneath the German lines for two fucking years. That's the term for digging underneath the enemy and blowing them up. I drink your milkshake. No, it's sappers. That's where the term sapper comes from. That's what I'm saying. Yeah, that's where sapper came from.

Exactly. So they killed like 10,000 Germans when they blew this thing up. Like it made a fucking lake. Wow. But like my whole thing that blew me away was like, hey, I'm going to, I'm going to dig a trench for fucking two years. Just go ahead and hold the front line right where you're at. And for two fucking years, just the thought process is like this battle is going to last

that long. World War II was World War I was absolutely, they had the technology of World War II, but they had the techniques. And the American Revolutionary War all in the same battle. Yes. There's fucking chaos. Austro-Hungarians are running around

on horseback with armor and swords. Britain's got fucking tanks. That's what I love. You have tanks and horses on the same fucking battleground, and it wasn't weird. That was where World War I and World War II, in a sentence, is how feudalism ended. The actual political situation, the fighting techniques,

everything that came after it, that period of time, the first half of the 20th century, is where feudalism actually truly died and the modern era began. And it's really where we learned our lesson about things like the League of Nations and why we should never have giant alliances with multiple countries who don't have the same interests. Right, who are all cousins. In the interest of, because we would, you know, we would avoid another war.

Yeah. Fuck. Shit, we didn't learn the goddamn thing. Victoria, Queen Victoria. That's right, we'll learn next time. The Tsar of Russia. Can't wait to go to mainland China. Wilhelm of Germany and the King of England were all first cousins,

I want to say, who their grandmother was Queen Victoria. That's literally what kicked off World War I. Yeah, and they all had alliances. And so if you listen to... I have that pistol, actually. It's a 19 model, 1910 Browning, something like that.

It's a little small. No shit. Yeah, I've got one. I'm going to do a video on that. Spoiler. Okay, it's only fine. I spoil one of my videos yeah I'm gonna do a video going up on it calling it testing the gun that started World War one I volunteer just you and killed that electrician it's fucking a single

one see ah history's fucking dope. Yeah. I only know like Japanese history. Like Nobunaga, the samurai that... Yeah, you were telling me about that the other day. That dude. Like those or Genghis Khan, those gangsters. It's in your blood, dude. I mean... Not Japanese, but close enough.

I will do the exit. Was it Philippines? Where are you from? Yeah, not Japanese. They're the good Asian. Well, to be fair, a good bit of the Philippines was Japanese for a minute. They get along real well. Thank you.

A lot of people who are Mexican have Filipino blood because the Spaniards were over there. That's how Wendy, my wife's Mexican, and she's got a little Filipino because they took one of her you know grandparents from the Philippines and brought it to Mexico totally on purpose like totally yeah they're asked they were like hey you want to come again great history is fucking metal when you start looking into a lot of it it's like oh wow literally every single one of us is just a child of fucking and pillaging oh yeah it's all is probably a lot of it, it's like, Oh wow. Literally every single one of us is just a child of fucking and pillaging. Oh yeah. Like it's probably a lot.

All it is. You look at it until the last hundred years. That's all war and everything was like, Hey, this is how all countries develop. My grandmother's win. My grandparents met. She was a German civilian in world war two.

Yeah. And then grandpa came in and was like, Hey, yep. Well, do you like texas come on down but yeah wendy's uh grandmother uh was uh a spaniard in in mexico at the time who when uh zapata and and um don quixote like fought against the government.

Look at all our faces right now. He's white. He has no idea what you're talking about. Me and the other Mexican are like, I can't even say that word. Don Quixote is the... Was it Don Quixote? He's the guy who fought the windmills.

Okay, well, Zapata. Whoever was to the north of Zapata. I'm probably getting it wrong. But anyways... I'm trying'm perhaps getting it wrong. But anyways. I'm trying to remember who it was. They basically took over. Yeah, they just owned the shit. Nobunaga, Japan, you had a literal dude that was a poor family.

They were like, hey, we're doing good. Dad dies. You're supposed to like the oldest son takes place. Nobunaga wasn't the oldest son. And he was the one that didn't give a shit. You're supposed to respect your, like, dad, bury. I forget the traditional Japanese burial method. He burnt the body.

He's like, I don't give a fuck. We're doing it my way now. I'm taking command of all this shit. And they're like, no. Then the brother said, didn't agree. He was like, okay, well, then fucking fight me for it. Yeah, we'll war. And then he took control of it. And then he was like, okay, well, then fucking fight me for it. Yeah, we'll war. Yeah. And then he took control of it.

And then he was like, okay, we're training all the farmers, and we're training everyone to actually be samurai and know how to fight. Also, these things called guns, I don't give a shit everyone else thinks these are not honorable. We're using them. Let them come in. The first wave, shoot them, and then pull out the swords that you all know how to use because it was a time when only the samurai knew how to use swords. He's wave, shoot them and then pull out the swords that you all know how to use because it was a time when only the samurai knew how to use swords.

He's like, fuck that. Farmers are going to learn. Everyone is going to be equipped. And then all the dudes that rose with him that were farmers and just dumb people, he made them executives. He's like, hey, you're in charge of this entire region. Hey, you're in charge of this entire region. Hey, let's fake them out. We're going to

say we're going here and then they'll send their army and then we'll go to their military base and just wipe them out kill their leaders and then we'll control that area and then he unified japan doing that which is fucking insane dude was a hard ass everyone respected the shit out of him but dude was a hard ass when it came to combat it It was awesome. Like, read that piece of history. You're like, this is one dude. One dude took over all of Japan just from his ideology. You know, next time we do one of these history-centered podcasts,

I promise that I'm going to have a complete story that I know all the names of everyone involved, and I'll be able to actually tell it. I'll do my research. This is shit I remember off the fly it's like a dude I've been eight years since I heard this fucking story was it punch of you Pancho via yeah it's Pancho via yeah Don Quixote was the guy

who fought windmills imaginary dragons sorry That's a legend. Yeah. And on that note, we're going to wrap up this history special with lawyer Jake over here, Brandon, and Mr. Fat Electrician. Guys, where can we find you? You beautiful people.

FatElectrician.com Brandon Herrera for Congress.com YouTube.com slash Corridor Crew. Corridor Crew now? Not Corridor Digital? No, we're Corridor Digital. Wherever you find us. Just type in Corridor and then the autofill. We'll do the rest. dot com slash corridor crew corridor crew now my corridor digital or corridor digital wherever you find us I just type in corridor and then the auto fill will do the rest

I just like you said corridor confidence yeah corridor cruise my favorite that's you know it's good it's good stuff it's good stuff hey go check out the after show Brandon might have to leave because he has another podcast to do but we'll do an extra 20 have a good time.