Unsubscribe Podcast - 133 - AMERICA VS CANADA ft. Uncle Dijon

Starting point is 00:00:00 Well, Daddy's gonna go spend some alone time with a belt. Hey, that's bad. Perfect. Wonderful. There are very few things that you can be certain of in life. But you can always be sure the sun will rise each morning. You can bet your bottom dollar that you'll always need air to breathe and water to drink. And, of course, you can rest assured that with Public Mobile's 5G subscription phone plans, you'll pay the same thing every month. With all of the mysteries that life has to offer, a few certainties can really go a long way.

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Starting point is 00:01:03 Enjoy your turkey day. Enjoy the shopping. Enjoy the chaos that is Black Friday. Reach out to family. Reach out to friends. Say hi. Be thankful and just enjoy life. And I know some people out there for the holidays are going to have a more difficult time.

Starting point is 00:01:18 Just know it is a speed bump in the road of life and you just have to pick yourself up. And if you can't pick yourself up by yourself, lean on people. You have a community here. You have your friends, you have your family. We want to watch you all succeed. I do at least. And I hope, I hope for the best of each and every one of you. Chase your, chase your dreams, reach your goals, shoot for the stars. And if you need anything at all, and I try to respond, I do, I try to respond to DMs and emails but I appreciate each and every one of you we all do cheers happy Thanksgiving ah

Starting point is 00:01:50 ah ah ah I didn't hear it that was that kid covered in peanut butter have you seen it he's sitting there and the mom's like are you okay and he's like that kid covered in peanut butter. Have you seen it? He's sitting there and the mom's like, are you okay?

Starting point is 00:02:05 And he's just, ha. It's such a funny video. It's like a two-year-old. Pretty husky. Not even two. He's like one and a half. Pretty husky one and a half year old. Like covered in peanut butter.

Starting point is 00:02:19 You can't see skin. All of his skin. He's hiding from the fucking predator. Right? And the mother walks in and she's like what are you doing and this kid has a fucking hand full of ah i mean of course he's fucking husky he's got he's fucking apparently got plenty of peanut butter. He's allergic and he's swollen. Jamie, pull that up real quick. Pull that shit up.

Starting point is 00:02:47 Pull that shit up. Okay, everyone ready? Sorry. Fuck me. Good morning. One, two, three. God, we're so good at that. Hi, everyone.

Starting point is 00:03:00 I'm good. No, never mind. I'm just happy to fucking do it again. This is amazing. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the do it again. This is amazing. Hi, everyone. Welcome to the unsubscribed podcast. We're joined today by Mr. B-Light Bubble Bath, Uncle Dijon, Brandon Berberba, and the Fat Electrician, your new host, other than this fucking guy right here.

Starting point is 00:03:18 He's Canadian. He doesn't count. He's Canadian. It doesn't count. I'm a refugee. A snow Mexican refugee. That's exactly the title of the episode. Snow Mexican refugee.

Starting point is 00:03:27 It's going to be you in an orange jumpsuit. Behind a cage. It's like, uh-oh. Let's get right into that. Why'd you leave? What's up, man? You're going to be the most different of the content creators that we've had on here. Because yours is very flashy.

Starting point is 00:03:46 Yeah, that too. You ain't like us. Uses a different breed, good sir. No, your content is based off of just cutting out stuff. I don't even know how long your content takes to make. He puts effort into it. But what degree is he keyframed these animations? I just hit record, man.

Starting point is 00:04:07 It's like me. That's life, bro. That's fucking life. It's not that hard, guys. It's like me in the bedroom. 30 seconds, a lot of effort. I am drenched in sweat, but I am done. Welcome back to America.

Starting point is 00:04:21 We're glad to have you finally on. You've been running with the crew for the last couple of days watching the shit show that we are. Yeah. Yeah, what's that like? How's this compared to Canada? That's nicer. How's it different?

Starting point is 00:04:31 It is nicer. How's it different? What do you like more? What do you like less? More down here? Yeah. People. Definitely the people.

Starting point is 00:04:39 Okay. 100%. 100%. I know that sounds like really cliche cliche but if I say hi to somebody where I'm from now they just like hold on to their bag and keep walking is there more crime in Canada than I was led to believe? I think certain parts

Starting point is 00:04:54 are bad like there's places in BC that's horrendous murder rate the only place I got robbed was in Canada in an alley did they say sorry? they pulled out a knife sorry I need this more than you do I was like walking through an alley. It was the only time I've been robbed. Did they say sorry? They pulled out a knife. Sorry, I need this more than you do. I was walking through an alley. I was drunk

Starting point is 00:05:09 trying to find my hotel and my phone was dead. So I was like, I'll take a shortcut through this alley. Did you do it to some hands when you did it to him? Don't stab me, sir. They pulled out a knife and they're like, give me your money. I was like, I really don't have much. Too drunk to even try to fight Canada and Vancouver.

Starting point is 00:05:27 Of course it was a knife. Yeah, it was Vancouver. Yeah, I don't want a knife fight right now. No, and I'm drunk. I was like, this is going to go one way, me falling on that knife. No matter how it plays out, I'm just going to get myself stabbed. You're going to be that guy in the fucking mall video like, oh, damn it. It's going to play out in my head.

Starting point is 00:05:42 I'm like like a guy just combobulate. And then it goes to, okay, go. Just one little poke. Oh, that sucks. And that's what would happen. I already knew that. Dude, that makes me think of the meme where it's like the robber trying to get the $20 in my wallet when I just mag dump him

Starting point is 00:06:07 With nine millimeter worth like a dollar apiece Knowing damn well, I just spent more in ammo Give him the 20 bucks Five seven four dollars a bullet. One. God damn it. Two. Son of a bitch. Three. He's not going down.

Starting point is 00:06:30 That's 12 bucks. I'm going to stop. I'm cutting it. You just throw the rest of the money at him. You're getting your wallet on the ground bleeding. I'm sorry. Yeah, dude. This is fucked.

Starting point is 00:06:38 That's why I have a bayonet on my EDC. A triangle fucking blade bayonet. God damn right. Just like the founding fathers intended. So Mr. Dijon, that's it. Yeah, that's it. What got you into, like, when you started content creation, what was your idea? Were you like, I want to do this style or what led to that?

Starting point is 00:06:58 Well, it started off by dragging a baby's faces through rocks. Which? Punching my dog. Not punching my dog. That's brutal. I did that after. What the fuck is wrong with brutal I did that after I did Americans were bad I want that shirt back yes that was the line not dragging the baby through the Dear God, you piece of shit. That was crazy when we first started talking about that.

Starting point is 00:07:28 Everybody's seen the baby doll through the gravel video. I had no idea that was you. None of us did. We were talking about that yesterday. Everybody's seen that video. It was me and my dog, man. How many views did that get? I think it's because it got reposted so much.

Starting point is 00:07:41 Like TikTok, it did 20 million on TikTok. It did about 20 million on Instagram, but so many people uploaded it to meme pages. I got reached out by a lot of people. Hey, can we repost this? It's probably everywhere. It's probably one of those viral videos. It's probably over a billion then

Starting point is 00:07:56 because you can't actually see how many stitches and reposts and shit. A hundred percent. I'm not drinking one of those. It's $5 a fucking... What the fuck is that? Sorry you guys can pull it Peanut butter cup inspired stout

Starting point is 00:08:09 What? Just smell it Oh yeah never mind don't Oh my god Way to bring that drink into the house He starts melting with the goddamn Wizard of Oz. Eli's like, I disagree with what you just said. I just keep throwing it at him.

Starting point is 00:08:33 Let's edit out the part where we say he's allergic to peanuts so nobody fucking assassinates him. Nah, keep it in. Send your Jeff peanut butter. No, I hate that. I hate that so much. It might be a lot better if it wasn't fucking room temperature. It's 13%. It's strong as shit.

Starting point is 00:08:51 13% fucking drinkable. Sick, Jeff. I'm not going to do that. Oh, fuck. It's funny how many people we run into in this friend group where it's like, oh you did that thing Where it's like we all say we all saw the fucking baby the gravel and then fist bumping the dog And then you come hang out and really You're the guy you did That was my so that was another reason why I switch content my biggest fear was I'd be walking around shopping malls to make hey

Starting point is 00:09:20 I saw you did to that baby. And I'll be like, oh, what'd you explain? Did you say it in front of a cop? Yeah, exactly. No, no, no, no. What did you do to that fucking baby? I don't want to be known as that guy. You're the baby guy. I'd rather just beat up kittens instead and be known as that. You're the bear and moose fighter now.

Starting point is 00:09:38 The baby dragger. You killed the wolves. So wait, you went from that and you're like, OK, now I'm going to start animating this. And you're just like. It actually started as just a complete one-off because I used to do skits and everything on TikTok. And when somebody said, what's the biggest animal you can fight? Bear handed. I was like, oh, grizzly bear.

Starting point is 00:09:57 And then I just went in and I ended up climbing a tree and RKO-ing the bear onto a bed of spikes or something. So that was the first one. It did really well. And then I thought, I'll do one with a shark. And then that one did really well. It just kind of became like a shtick. And then I had to switch it up after a while and do like live footage ones.

Starting point is 00:10:15 Or like the Texas Longhorn one, which I filmed last time I was here. That was good. Yeah, and then I'll do other ones where I'll like, I'll jump in someone else's video and tackle them. And I always ask permission to stop tagging them in it, saying that I didn't, like I did something rude. I asked them permission first. Or I'll find you.

Starting point is 00:10:33 Have you done a T-Rex yet? Like raptors or T-Rexes? I haven't done a T-Rex. I've done one where I... This is getting so infantile. Have you done a fucking dinosaur? What about a Tonka truck? I love Tonka infantile I will tell you I do an autism have you seen have you seen the dot is a kid in an England that does the trains oh my god

Starting point is 00:11:04 yes that is one of the most feel-good content. Yeah, yeah. He puts the cam on him. He's like, oh, they're gonna come on. They're gonna blow the whistle. It's like,

Starting point is 00:11:12 God damn, this kid is so happy. Like, I wish... Francis, that's his name. Yeah, I wish I was as happy about anything as he is about trains. He's like,

Starting point is 00:11:18 I don't care about anything. He's just down for it. They are the most happy you will see somebody is like autism and whatever that-ism is. It's just heaven for them because it's the trains. That one dude, there's a guy that did the elevators. He just goes in elevators.

Starting point is 00:11:35 His favorite thing is to go to every building and just ride elevators and take a video of it. And he is trying to get every big building possible. And he just makes videos. He's having the best time. Dude, what a cheap hobby. There's a guy that goes around and tests faucets. Have you seen that? Like public faucets.

Starting point is 00:11:51 He has like his own like mechanism that he can put into the top of a faucet and turn it on and go, this one works guys. And he like starts like crying. He's so happy that they- The shit that people can get into blows me away. I feel like that's fucking Nick over here. It's like he goes to every electrical outlet and he's like, this one has good energy.

Starting point is 00:12:07 He inserts his own mechanism in there. My wife insane. I'm just like, this is fucking shit lighting in here. This is bullshit. This is bullshit. That's wrong, that's wrong. That pipe looks like ass. Who bent that piece of shit over there?

Starting point is 00:12:21 Like it's awful. Incoming Raycon ad. Wee-oo, wee-oo, wee raycon ad it may be too early to start decorating but it's not too early to start christmas shopping so why not take care of it now before fighting the hordes and the shopping centers do it with raycon and say 50 right now 50 now you've heard me talk about raycon in the past g-van put up an old thing of me talking about Raycon in the past G van put up an old thing of me talking about Raycon in the past just Right here now Raycon first made a name for themselves in the audio industry by this little guy the everyday earbud

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Starting point is 00:13:33 This is really bad. Thank you so much for finding exact. This man, if you wonder if he's an electrician. I went to my house and then I noticed. Was I right? Yes. I knew I was fucking right. It was all the bathrooms wouldn't have, none of the outlets were working.

Starting point is 00:13:49 And he was like, yeah, there's another bathroom. It's usually 15 amp and it's a shitty thing. Those cookie cutter houses, there's people, they just take shortcuts and it trips all of them. So you have to find the one bathroom with the reset button. I was like, that sounds like bullshit. No, 100%. Nope, it was 100% right. All right, so today we're going to talk about circuit breakers. Reset button I was like that sounds like bullshit. No 100% now there's a hundred percent right?

Starting point is 00:14:11 Remember yeah You're sure right about that I also had to pay like two grand to get that fixed my landlord should have handled that but you know You're no we were hammered one night. Nick's like going through the electrical box. I was like yeah, this is wrong There's wrong wrong cover off a live pan. Fuck it. You're just like, you're swinging a screwdriver around in the wires. Like, fuck it. Anybody got a fork? I gotta open this up. Give me my metal chopsticks. Been there, done that. Jesus Christ. That reminds me

Starting point is 00:14:38 of a story about John. Did I ever tell you when John was a toddler and tried to get his ass off like three times in a row? No. Was that the oven one? Can I tell the only story I've heard about John? Hold on. So we're playing hide and go seek.

Starting point is 00:14:54 John's like three years old. I find him outside underneath a car. And I'm like, hey, you're going in timeout. So I sit him down in timeout. How old is he? Three. He's like three. Okay.

Starting point is 00:15:06 I come back and he's trying to stick a fork in a fucking electrical outlet. And I'm like, why are you actively trying to fucking. No, but I mean, that's every toddler. That's like that game with the baby. Yeah. Like the baby's trying to absolutely, you know. It's insane. They're living.

Starting point is 00:15:20 All they do is try to. Often. They're trying to. Yeah. Ryan Reynolds. Who's your daddy? That's the video game That's the game I was thinking of If you guys haven't played Who's your daddy? That video game is pretty fucking good

Starting point is 00:15:32 We should probably do more video game talk on this podcast I don't know It's way more interesting than military stories Or history talk Spring is here and you can now get almost anything you need Delivered with Uber Eats What do we mean by almost? You can't get a well groomed lawn delivered But you can now get almost anything you need delivered with Uber Eats. What do we mean by almost?

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Starting point is 00:15:56 See app for details. So I'm actually curious, as an electrician, have you ever electrocuted yourself? That's not a no. I'm not saying this to be a dick and I hate the fact that I'm going to do this, but because if I don't do it, somebody in the comments, he's not a fucking real electrician because he doesn't even know what electrocuted means. The word electrocuted means to die from electric shock. So no, I've never been electrocuted, but I have shocked the holy dog shit out of myself before. Yes. So I understand why you had to actually me right there. Yeah, I know. so no I've never been electrocuted but I have shocked the holy dog shit out of myself before yes

Starting point is 00:16:25 so I understand why you had to actually me right there so yeah I have definitely shocked the dog shit out of myself yeah that's happened before have you ever dog shit the shock out of yourself before quite possibly I do have dyslexia so it happens

Starting point is 00:16:41 it happens now what was the only John story you know? Oh, yeah. What's your John story? When John decided that it'd be cool to stick his arm inside of a vase and walk up and punch your brand new flat screen TV and break it. That did happen. Don't know this story.

Starting point is 00:16:58 I don't know that either. All right. John's two years old. John has cost you a lot of money. A lot of money, dude. That's toddlers, though, man. That's a pretty fucking unique one. This was right after 11-11-11

Starting point is 00:17:12 when I quit school to play Elder Scrolls Skyrim. You're so excited. You're just like, oh, I can't wait to get home. After all this breaking your back. Fire this up. I'm just hurting. I'm on the couch. I can't wait to play Skyrim.

Starting point is 00:17:27 John, the toddler that he is, he puts his fist in a vase. Just walks. I'm poor as shit. I'm an E4 at the time. I had to work to get this fucking TV. John walks up with this vase on his fist and just punches the fuck out of it for no reason whatsoever. We're just chilling. No, you were chilling.

Starting point is 00:17:51 He was in battle mode. It was one of those where it's like, I can't punt my toddler because that's wrong. So it was like, it was a nose pinch and just like a, baby, I'm going to go outside for a while. I had to walk around the block a couple times and then come back and be like hey buddy you can't do that for the younger viewers this is before like a nice smart smart tv flat screen was like three hundred dollars yeah you couldn't go to walmart motherfucking thousand is like the starting price imagine if you just turned around what What the hell? Ha. Ha.

Starting point is 00:18:27 John has cost you so much. You got Robux. You got TVs. Oh, God, dude. That's raising a kid, though, man. Especially alone. That's just raising a kid. Oh, yeah. 100%. You know. I can't wait for John's book. Oh, the tell-all book.

Starting point is 00:18:44 We talked about this one on the podcast before, right? We haven't talked about it in a while, though, so it'll be fun to bring it back up. That's true. Yeah. So obviously John grows up around all of us and whatnot, so he's going to write a tell-all book one day called My Seven Retarded Uncles. Where he talks about growing up around me, Brandon, you, like Eli, Matt Best. Just like the things that he experiences on a daily basis.

Starting point is 00:19:09 He's going to do the tell all story. My seven retarded uncles. Because we can't like for us, it is still we look at these kids like, man, these kids are like, because it's just everyday life to him, which is super weird. Us in that position at that age, my mind would have been fucking blown away by any of the cool shit I'm years ago. My mind would have been yeah. Oh, yeah getting out of the military. Oh my god This is all the coolest people I know and he's like man. I want to stay home and play video games dad Yeah, you know all of us and his reading manga Imagine like when he gets into the real world without any of us, and he's like, wait, this isn't the same.

Starting point is 00:19:48 I'm not going to range day once a week and hanging out with celebrities. DoorDash costs money. For me, it's not even that. Do you know the level of excitement it's going to take to get John interested in something? We're already blowing out his dopamine receptors right now. Yeah, like the level of interesting thing that's going to have to happen to get this kid amped up is going to be incredibly hard.

Starting point is 00:20:12 You're going to Mars. I'd rather stay home. Seriously. I'm going to read manga today. Yeah, there's moments like the range days and stuff like that where I'm like, you know, John, most people have to win a contest to do what you're about to do, right?

Starting point is 00:20:27 This isn't even a thing you can buy. I'll be in the truck. No, you're right. I have to go to the range day. I have to hang out with my favorite content creators today. Ryden's

Starting point is 00:20:44 on the opposite. He's like, I just want to be alone. Thank you. You do you, man. Hey, what's up? You want to hang out, Daddy? No. Okay. Well, my feelings aren't hurt. Yeah, the one tear? Okay. You have fun.

Starting point is 00:20:59 You still love me, right? I do not understand the feeling of love, Daddy. Okay. I don't know who taught you that. I'm going understand the feeling of love, Daddy. Okay. Okay, I don't know who taught you that. I'm going to walk away. Well, Daddy's going to go spend some alone time with a belt. It'll be a good old time.

Starting point is 00:21:16 I'm going to Robin Williams myself. So I name my second son Cassius right after Cassius Clay. He's taken after more than I thought it would actually work. The black boxer? Belligerent as shit. The most gangster politician of all time. The guy he was named after. I've seen your video.

Starting point is 00:21:35 I know. Thanks. No, but my first son, Cutter, he's really sweet, really nice. Little boy, perfect, does everything great. Cassius, my second second kid is just full sprint down the hallway tackling other kids for no fucking reason at daycare i like set him down i take all his like his jacket and his shoes off to go into daycare i turn around to take cutter's jacket and shoes off this kid full clip just runs and ray lewis's another fucking toddler for no reason whatsoever just

Starting point is 00:22:07 why is your one and a half year old putting our our children here in arm bars oh that's crazy yeah totally didn't teach him some other kid two gins is pretty dumb he's going purple i didn't teach him how to stop. Dude, I hate to bring this back to John again, but I had a similar story. Yeah. But I got called into daycare one time. He's probably like four or five years old. And they're like, well, he punched a girl.

Starting point is 00:22:39 And I'm like, hey, that's bad. What happened? And they're like, well, she bit him. I was like, hmm. Okay. I get it. But he shouldn't be punching girls. They shouldn't be biting him.

Starting point is 00:22:53 Yeah, she bit the shit out of him. He had like drew blood on him. Kids at that age, there is no, literally have no idea about anything. They don't look at sex, race, anything. They're just like four or five. I don't know how much the it's a girl played into it. But like statistically speaking, a girl would have the advantage until like 12, 13.

Starting point is 00:23:13 I mean, they're they mature faster and have typically are bigger in general because they hit puberty earlier. It was just a weird argument between me and the person who ran the daycare. Just like, well, he punched a girl. And I was like, well, she fucking bit him? I don't know what to tell you about that. He's five years old. I don't know, dude. She fucked around and found him.

Starting point is 00:23:34 He'd been doing like jujitsu and MMA for a year at that point. Exactly what I thought it would be. I love it. All the parents here are just like, my kid's going to be fighters. My kid is. I would like, Raden I want to fight. I don't want to fight Ryden. I want him to fight.

Starting point is 00:23:49 It's just there's zero point in that. The boy struggles with running normally. Like, it's my baby. I said that game. It looks like an attack on Titan. The attack on Titan where they just. Yeah. It's like Ryan running.

Starting point is 00:24:00 He's like. But have you seen the movie The Accountant? That's all I'm saying. Your son's going to build like a mousetrap that kills his adversaries instead. As long as he can shoot a baron. I just picture him doing all like John Wick account. Like just an entire room is done. He's like.

Starting point is 00:24:21 Like walking out the door. And they're like. He's just on his way Out of the fucking building Like This is a nice elevator I haven't finished I haven't finished

Starting point is 00:24:34 Going up and down The elevator A couple times Like okay I'll go now On his way out In the lobby Like this cop

Starting point is 00:24:40 Can I Can I have this I'm taking this So Uncle Uncle Dijon What martial art Do you prefer When you're fighting just cop, can I have this? I'm taking this. So Uncle Dijon, what martial art do you prefer when you're fighting grizzly bears and sharks and menacing wolves? WWE. WWE.

Starting point is 00:24:53 I don't know if that's a martial art, but shit. Because I said so. Do you have a preferred melee weapon with that? Like chairs, ladders? No, I usually use my sword. Your sword? Yeah, my claymore. Okay, claymore.

Starting point is 00:25:03 And my claymore with the eagle hilt. Scottish? Well, it was made by a guy named Trevor in Alaska. Remind me never to wrestle you. Yeah. The middle of like an Olympic wrestling event, just... Oh, it looks like he has a chair. He turns into the sword and cuts the guy in half.

Starting point is 00:25:22 Oh, God. So I was just play wrestling him and now i've got a claymore about halfway through my person most people don't know this it's easier to pin them when they don't have a head you're the crowd's just dead silent i just do like i mean like tackle somebody in the nfl you know they like freak out or they just come in there would be a sign like a solid three seconds shock and quietness if that happened during a wrestling match. He's going for, head's gone. But the crowd would be like, yeah!

Starting point is 00:25:56 Instant Joe Rogan meme. Oh, shit! Does he count? Yeah, the ref. Hey, just so you know, a disqualification is not a loss. Exactly. Still undefeated. I did fight a bear at Madison Square Garden in the PFL Smart Gauge.

Starting point is 00:26:19 That's what? It is 100% true. You can look that video up. So how did that go? Well, I gave him a straight left after I slipped his jab and then just hammer-fisted him until the ref stopped it. So it was pretty intense. So dope. Brandon's only fought a human.

Starting point is 00:26:37 What a fucking pussy. Jesus Christ. You need a bear, bro. Smelly estrogen on this man. Eli's already started this podcast by playing on my insecurities of not having a joke land in front of you. That's the intro. So give me that one joke. We're doing great.

Starting point is 00:26:57 I'm just like, well, I guess I'll just go fuck myself. Fuck. So you're Canadian. You grew up there your whole life, right? I lived in England for five years, but I was there. I'm so sorry. That was after you were an adult, right? It's okay.

Starting point is 00:27:11 You were like 18. Yeah, yeah. After I graduated high school. So like England too, I guess to this question, how does England and Canada view America? Like what are some things you thought America was going to be when you came here the first time and like was true, wasn't true? We're a bad representation. I know.

Starting point is 00:27:28 Look where you came to. I understand, but I still want to know. Did you sleep in JT's special room when you slept here the first time? Oh, yeah. Yeah, the first time. And to be honest with you, I turned around and I just went, huh. Is everyone's bedroom like this? Well, I did look.

Starting point is 00:27:41 I looked at Jerry. It's a gun wall that looks like my office gun wall from my videos. I looked at Jerry and Caleb, and gun wall that looks like my office gun wall from my videos. I looked at Jared and Caleb and they're smiling like, I had them like, and I went, guys, Jared, Jared, Jared, do you invite strangers into this home who you meet on the internet and let them stay in this room?

Starting point is 00:27:58 And he's like, yeah, man. Jared is right there. What's funny is like the representation of like where he's coming into, Jared has the least amount of guns out of all of us Yeah, so it's The guns on on that wall or mine actually I Built them one of them and bought him another but going on to to what he said, was it like what were those like, oh, they're going to be fat or like all these preconceived ideas?

Starting point is 00:28:28 I know violence is one thing. It wasn't actually violence. It was more like, oh, no, they're just rude down there. And then the British would be like, well, at least. Like that's their shtick, right? Well, at least. Stabbing. Our schools ain't an acid attack.

Starting point is 00:28:51 Our schools ain't a acid attack yeah they uh the british don't like you guys a lot i would when i when i worked there's still a little bitter sounds like los angeles yeah when i when i worked there people would say well what part of america are you from like the canadian part and they're like oh you're all right I'll say, you don't even know me. How do you just, oh, you're a Canadian. You're not American. That's racist as shit. Holy fuck. And I got that all the time. People would legitimately be like, oh, I was going to be mad at you, but since you're Canadian.

Starting point is 00:29:14 I'm like, what? Fine. The Mexicans are what I got a problem with. Whoa, okay. I did not expect it to go this way. Yeah, so that was, and then this year is the first year I've ever been to the States. The first state I ever visited was Montana. That was in July.

Starting point is 00:29:30 That was incredible. I love Montana. That was cool. Beautiful, flat. Well, I went to the Glacier Park and everything, so that was really sweet. Did a lot of horseback riding there. And I was like, this is actually very stereotypical what I thought Montana was going to be like. Cowboys and shit.

Starting point is 00:29:43 Yeah, exactly. And they hate Yellowstone there. The majority of the people they ruined their whole state well when i was there all the cali cowboys want to go try to larp like i'm a dun but when i was there and people would say oh yeah this is like they're trying to describe it and then they see the defeats when I'm not getting it. They'd be like, have you seen Yellowstone? I'm like, no. They're like, normally we explain it

Starting point is 00:30:11 with Yellowstone language. They hate it there. But other than that, New York, I thought was going to be very chaotic. But I found that it actually wasn't. Like everybody on the side of the street. New York City? Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:24 Downtown New York? Yeah, right next to Madison Square Garden. Oh, yeah. And everybody just mind their own business. I didn't have to. Oh, yeah, it's chaos. It's just. It's organized chaos is how I.

Starting point is 00:30:34 It's business. You're not stopping to say hi. It is, I got someplace to be. I'm going. Exactly. I swear a lot of the stereotypes that other countries have of, like, Americans being rude is because they go to fucking New York or they go to L.A. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:30:46 It's because everybody wants to go to California. Yeah. Everybody's rude there. But down here. The two places I hate. Wow. This is crazy. They are very rude.

Starting point is 00:30:55 If that was all of America, I'd probably hate us too. Yeah. Your business doesn't move in a straight line. Make sure your team is taken care of through every twist and turn with Canada Life savings, retirement and benefits plans. Whether you want to grow your team, support your employees at every stage or build a workplace people want to be a part of. Canada Life has flexible plans for companies of all sizes. So it's easy to find a solution that works for you. Visit CanadaLife.com slash employee benefits to learn more. Canada Life. Insurance. Investments. Advice. Yeah, but down here, I love it down here. It's my second time here.

Starting point is 00:31:30 First time I was here, everybody showed me a great time. I absolutely loved it down here. I'm glad. Yeah, it was weird. Like how it happened was, I'll check. So how I look at Instagram, how I make a lot of connections, is you can filter in the notifications people who have have verified accounts and we'll show you just verified account interactions with your Instagram. And I saw this like Jared Taylor.

Starting point is 00:31:51 So yeah, guy looks like he has it figured out. So I, I looked at you. So then I, so then I really think that about us. Well, I,

Starting point is 00:32:02 well, I looked at it. I was like, Oh, I'll check it out. Then I saw his time for pie podcast. And I saw a bunch of us. I saw looked at it. I was like, oh, I'll check it out. And I saw it was time for Pi podcast. And I saw a bunch of us. I saw you guys.

Starting point is 00:32:07 And I was like, oh, wow, these are my kind of people. And then I added them back. And then he just sent me a message. Come on down. I'm like, wow, this escalated very quickly. And then, yes. This is Jared. Hold on.

Starting point is 00:32:19 This is the perfect time. Didn't you have to escape from his compound yesterday? Yeah, I did. Yeah. I went over to visit him. Thanks, Jared. Escape from LA. Like to escape from his compound yesterday? Yeah, I did. I went over to visit him. Thanks, Jared. Escape from LA. Like, escape from JT. Well,

Starting point is 00:32:32 yeah, because you dropped me off. I was there for about an hour and a half. He had another podcast to do. So then he's like, oh yeah, Dylan's great seeing you. That's all I wanted. I just wanted to say hi to him and Caleb because I missed them. Anyway, so they went into the podcast room and I'm sat there like, he was great that's all I wanted I just wanted to say hi to him and Caleb because I missed them anyway so I

Starting point is 00:32:46 they went into the podcast room and I'm sat there like the hell am I getting home like I didn't think this far ahead so I went on the

Starting point is 00:32:54 I used to lots of Ubers out where Jared lives yeah yeah actually the one that I got was only 18 minutes away so it wasn't too bad had to drive 18 minutes

Starting point is 00:33:02 to get you yeah to get me yeah I would have been so pissed that Uber driver was fucking mad yeah oh well

Starting point is 00:33:09 anyway oh no anyways so okay so everything everything went smoothly the Uber

Starting point is 00:33:17 I thought wow that actually went really smoothly I was able to order it get your pretty face in there and then I I'm like oh yeah I have to

Starting point is 00:33:24 that Uber driver doesn't know the code. I don't know the code. I'll just walk over the gate. And it's closed, and I'm not seeing, like, an open button. I'm like. You could have texted us. No, no, it's okay. This is more fun.

Starting point is 00:33:33 So I look down. I look down. I see on the mechanism it says reset. I'm like, I don't want to touch that because it might, like, mess with the computer or something. It could kill you. Yeah, exactly. So then I. Reset.

Starting point is 00:33:46 So then I was looking at my... Your life. What's funny is that we like are just such genuinely like friends here. And like we're just bullshitting and bantering. I almost like just openly told you Jared's gate code on the fucking podcast. I was like, no, it's obviously it's... Oh, fuck. So I'm looking at my options. I go over to the fence,

Starting point is 00:34:06 and I go like this on it. I'm like, I feel like my 235-pound self will probably wreck that fence. And then the only other option is a pillar that's like a foot taller than me. So I was like, okay. I just grabbed it, like muscle up, like that. I get on top of it. I didn't go to the one that had the camera, because obviously I didn't want to wreck the camera.

Starting point is 00:34:23 So all you're going to see, Jared Jared is if you look at your cameras me just Superman landing From the sky going like this at your camera Oh my god, do you want the best sleep in the world, y'all know? Well, I can tell you the greatest bed and mattress product in the world. It is from GhostBed.com, y'all know. Today, we are talking to myself and Mexican version of myself to talk about the great deals at GhostBed.com. Every mattress has 20-year warranty. You can try out for $101 a night. If you don't like it, send it back. No hard feeling. And one of the best parts of the GhostBed is the cooling technology, senor. I know what you're thinking. Por qué, senor? Because if you're

Starting point is 00:35:21 like me and you're in Texas, the nights are hot and you need the cooling technology, see? Goldspeck also offers all the bundles, see? You don't even really have to think about it, senor. Just choose from four of their mattresses and you got a bundle, senor. So whether you need the mattress or the frame or you want it all, like the cooling pillows or the sheets, you can get the best bang for your buck. That's right. Right now, if you use unsubscribe at ghostbed.com slash unsubscribe, you get 50% off everything. Everyone loves discount to that value. So very big.

Starting point is 00:36:02 That is half. Go buy the best bed you can with GhostBed.com. Actually, on a serious note, all of us use GhostBed. Now, it is all the rooms here at Unzup, my bedroom, the pillows, the sheets. Everything is GhostBed. You spend 30% of your life in a bed. Upgrade your stuff and save 50% while doing it. Go check them out.

Starting point is 00:36:24 They're a fantastic company and we support them code unsubscribe go 50% so that was that was fun just noticed that like you're so tall even just sitting down that it's cutting off the top of your head when you're talking well that's why i was like how are you gonna sit because he was like i was like are you gonna lean forward like that he's like yeah immediately was like and sat back i was like, are you going to lean forward like that? He's like, yeah. And me, he was like, and sat back. I was like, well, there's pulling focus going on. That's okay. I'm like, you son of a fucking bitch.

Starting point is 00:36:51 I'll sit just like this. So you're going to try to get into long form now. Are you like, I want to do some more fucking content? Nick said he would stab me if I didn't. Science. Not that I would die. Not that he was worried about it, but also. You are built different.

Starting point is 00:37:07 Yeah, exactly. Yeah. Speaking of that, he's coming out with a new clothing line that should be available soon, hopefully by the time this podcast is out. It'll probably be out already before this gets aired. It'll be better than that. No, come on. Stop putting yourself down. Encourage others to put you down. It's going to lose a lot of friends of yours in LA. They, yeah, yeah. They're not fond of our crew. Yeah, that's all right. The rope down here is not well-locked.

Starting point is 00:37:30 Well, I was gonna try to figure out a way to convince you to run for Prime Minister of Canada. I think that would be a lot better. A, I think that's illegal. B, I would be the second in line with that belt in some alone time. Well, I mean, to be fair, I think that, because Trudeau boxes, correct? Oh, he does something that looks close to boxing. I mean, he tries to box.

Starting point is 00:37:50 I mean, couldn't you box him for the title of Canada leader? I sent it to you on Instagram the other day. Justin Trudeau legitimately boxes and he's shit at it. He got his fucking ass beat by an old man. He gets rocked in every clip. It's a nice slow-mo.

Starting point is 00:38:05 And you can tell he's just like, and he's wearing headgear, his opponent isn't, and he's still getting his shit pushed in. There's another politician too. It's not like it was a boxer. We need to go back to that, man. We need to go back to American politicians boxing the shit out of each other.

Starting point is 00:38:21 Teddy Todd? The great statesman, Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy was a big boxer statesman, Teddy Roosevelt. Teddy was a big boxer. He loved to fight. Who was a fighter? I would love to. Tony Gonzalez.

Starting point is 00:38:33 I will box him any day. He also did judo and jiu-jitsu. Wasn't Abraham Lincoln one of the best wrestlers of his day? Yeah, he was a wrestler. He was also tall. Never lost a match. Yeah, he was a monster, too. It was in Fight Club. He was like, if you could fight any historical figure, who would it be?

Starting point is 00:38:46 And he's like, well, Abraham Lincoln, tall guys fight to the burger. And like, Abraham Lincoln never lost a wrestling match. He just fucked people up. He was like, what? How tall was he? Like 6'2"? Which in 1865 was basically a fucking transform. You're a Nephilim. Have you done

Starting point is 00:39:04 boxing? You were... I just did amateur for two years. And then are you thinking about doing, like, because we got our boy Brandon here. Everyone here has done, like, some type of martial arts fighting. Is that something where you're like, hey, you've done amateur for two years, but doing your creator class where you're like...

Starting point is 00:39:18 I would love to, but whoever I face, like, you've got to understand, their head will get launched into the third aisle. Like, it's not... Imagine you're a family. You take a kid's head. Some dude's head. Just land.

Starting point is 00:39:30 That's extra to be in the splash zone. Yeah. Logan Chitwood, he's calling you out. No, I love you, Logan. You were a really nice man. I did shoot him with a tank in one of my last videos, and he lived, so we'll just be careful. Getting in the ring with that dude, you're like,

Starting point is 00:39:46 uh-oh. Fighters, are you ready? Logan's like that. Dylan, are you ready? White's covered in peanut butter and naked. Your gloves have peanut butter on them. I hope you guys get meme humor. But you're good.

Starting point is 00:40:07 So, like, boxing, you did amateur. So you've done a good amount of sparring. It was, we've talked about it on the podcast. Like, combat, sports, it is, it's fucking dope. Because it is a one-on-one and it is a test to yourself. Yeah. You're the only responsibility. If you're on a team, you can kind of, like, I played like shit today.

Starting point is 00:40:24 No, no, if you suck, it's all on you. And then you get to go home in the shower in the dark and go. Oh, yeah. The fucked up part is if you suck at soccer, you don't get knocked the fuck out on live TV. Yeah, exactly, yeah. There's a little bit of stakes. Celebrating your night after that win,

Starting point is 00:40:40 it would have been completely different if Brandon would have been knocked out that night. I would have drank less. It's okay, buddy. Next time. I'm sorry. I was so mentally prepared for if I had lost. Because I was going up against a bigger guy.

Starting point is 00:40:55 Beat me in every fucking physical dimension, right? Yeah. I was so prepared for the, man, you put your heart in it. And I'm like, that was was gonna hurt so bad the one guy with the kazoo like or like whatever that is i bought these i didn't want to weld them to waste i don't know i've done a little bit of every kind of martial art boxing is by far in my opinion like the most dangerous and the most most barbaric. MMA gets a lot of shit because it's like, oh, it's

Starting point is 00:41:27 way safer. It is 100% safer. When you get dropped in MMA, the fight's over. That's it. You only get to get knocked out once. You can get knocked out three fucking times in one boxing match. When I did amateur, if you got

Starting point is 00:41:43 hit good, the ref immediately was okay Okay, one two and you only got three if you got three of those in one round the refs like you're done your shit Yeah, but like in boxing like I think it's one person dies in MMA every year on average. I think in boxing. It's 12 Yeah, like it's a huge fucking job concussed and it's like, okay you ready All my friends are watching even like Tyson Fury like a fucking

Starting point is 00:42:10 nine count against who did he fight where he got flat lined no oh no that was Deontay Wilder he sat in the 70s and got out and then he sat up but it's like that would have been over in MMA. Like 10 seconds of being out, it's done at that point.

Starting point is 00:42:29 It's like if he would have got knocked out again and again, it's like you can get as much damage in one boxing match as you do in seven MMA fights. And in MMA, you can safely tap somebody out. They tap, whatever. Okay, it's done. In boxing for a knockout dude i had not experienced what it was like to have a bigger man hit you with 10 ounce gloves and no head here no you fucking see tv static for a minute it's like oh your vision goes like this and it's like

Starting point is 00:42:54 going back and then he's still there it was like when your little douchebag kid brother like wiggles the fucking aux cord on the playstation oh fuck fuck me. I always called it the brass gnats. That's what I called it. You just see the little... It's like that flashbang. And then you're like, your hands usually go better, but you see those ones where it doesn't

Starting point is 00:43:15 because you get hard enough where you're like... The Matrix struggling to keep me in. I'm too powerful. The new Mitsubishi Outlander brings out another side of you. Your regular side listens to classical music. Your adventurous side rocks out with the dynamic sound Yamaha. Regular you owns a library card.

Starting point is 00:43:35 Adventurous you owns the road with super all-wheel control. Regular side, alone time. Adventurous side journeys together with third row seating. The new Outlander. Bring out your adventurous side. Mitsubishi Motors. Drive your ambition. It's the glove thickness too, right?

Starting point is 00:43:55 Like with MMA, it's only, what's it, four ounce? Yeah, four ounce. MMA, the gloves are designed to prevent you from breaking your hands. Yeah. Not to soften the blow of the punch. That's why, like, bare knuckle is crazy. And that's punch. That's why bare knuckle is crazy. And that's also why bare knuckle is just a different beast. Unpopular opinion, safer than both of them as far as striking goes.

Starting point is 00:44:13 Like bare knuckle boxing, you can only punch as hard as the bone structure of your hands will allow. So like Nuganu wouldn't make it very long in bare knuckle boxing because he's going to punch you and probably kill somebody. Yeah. Also his hands going to explode. Yeah. Right. So like, that's why you need someone that get like heavyweight.

Starting point is 00:44:32 Bare knuckle is probably a little too much. I don't think Mike Perry excels at that. He's like the perfect bill for it. So Luke. Yeah. We haven't, we haven't talked. Yeah. I, well, you know, I haven't been on this podcast for a fucking year but um yeah uh uh

Starting point is 00:44:46 fucking nico ortiz invited was that was that the one no no no that was a genver yeah yeah that was uh our friends brought brandon and i up to do a bear or to watch a bare knuckle fight because our buddy luke rockhold was was gonna be yeah luke rockhold was in it he's been a homie for a minute and just hearing the fucking impacts because we were impacts, because we were like ringside right there at that one almost. The chick fights, dude. The chick fights were brutal. Oh, my God. The females in that bare knuckle fight.

Starting point is 00:45:14 But just hearing the fucking bare knuckles. Yeah. It was fucking gnarly. Well, because it reminds you of a a street fight but street fights usually stop in 20 seconds this was like 12 15 minutes of just yeah these two i would love to hear that during covid when there was nobody in the arena that's what i was gonna do that was the weirdest part of the ufc is pete covid ufc when it just was like you're watching a murder happening ferguson versus justin gagey Tony Ferguson versus Justin Gagey.

Starting point is 00:45:45 Oh, every Justin Gagey, hard, one of the hardest and one of the biggest hitting Tony Ferguson and every fucking punch sounded like an automobile collision. And Tony has a jaw. So he's not going down. This is what everyone was like,

Starting point is 00:46:01 yo props to Tony for a living. It went from, this is, this is awesome to like, Jesus Christ, I'm watching somebody get CTE right now. Like it was bad. That reminds me of the Sean O'Malley. Oh yeah.

Starting point is 00:46:13 Shane O'Malley. Yeah. Shane. Should it be Shane O'Malley? Oh, is it Shane or Sean? I think so. Okay. Or maybe it's Sean O'Malley.

Starting point is 00:46:21 I think it's Sean O'Malley. But he, with that fight with that dude where he just kept fucking laying the hate on him. I forget the other fighter's name. Oh, he had green hair? Yeah, he wasn't dropping. He was just like, just kept walking toward it. That's why you don't make your head hide it before a fight. Jesus Christ, I literally thought that man was going to die.

Starting point is 00:46:34 That dude was tough as fuck. But when you take away the audience, man, it's so worse. It was such a weird time in UFC when they didn't have an audience, man. It literally sounded like a Rocky movie. Just every fucking punch was a car wreck. Okay, so I did go back. When I was doing all the boxing shit, like right before my fight, I was on my

Starting point is 00:46:52 way to Charleston. I was watching some of the Rocky fights, just trying to get my head there. Oh, that motivation broke me. I still watch those. I watch Dragon Ball Z while I work out sometimes. Trust me, I get it. It was Rocky 4, though, and somebody put a time stamp, and they're like, wow, with defense like that, no wonder Rocky's the champ. And it's him just with his hands down at his side, just getting fucking hit in the head, not even attempting to block.

Starting point is 00:47:16 You sent me that. I know exactly when he was fighting. It's in the montage. You have it in Drago. Yeah, Drago. And he's just getting hit in the face. Like there's no moving. Or it's just a walk towards the punch.

Starting point is 00:47:28 His hands are like at his waist. He's boom, boom, boom. Like, wow, what major defense from a big player. Holy shit. Funny thing is like Stallone, the Rocky movie is like, if you know the backstory, it's like one of the most motivational things ever. Really? Yeah. The dude wrote the movie Rocky.

Starting point is 00:47:46 The dog in Rocky, he had actually sold to somebody for money because he was so broke and then ended up selling his screen play Rocky and had to pay like a ton of money to get his dog back. But he paid it, gets his dog back. And the stipulation of selling a screen play is like, no, I get to play Rocky. And he got way less money than he would have.

Starting point is 00:48:09 He got a bunch of offers. He got a ton of offers for it. But nobody would let him be Rocky. Right. So he took way less money than he could have to be Rocky, betting on himself, ended up winning. And do you know where the nickname The Italian Stallion came from? His soft core porn.

Starting point is 00:48:24 Yeah. Yeah. Was it soft core? Yeah. Or was Stallion came from? His soft core porn. Yeah. Yeah. Was it soft core or was it just porn? It was soft core. I was under the impression it was regular porn, but it may have been soft core. I thought it was soft core because he was also part of Sopranos, and they moved him in the background character. Because when he went and they were like, did you know he's part of Sopranos?

Starting point is 00:48:41 Yeah. Or not Sopranos, Godfather. Okay, yeah, yeah. I was like, wait, what the fuck? He was in the Godfather, and he's a of Sopranos? Yeah. Or not Sopranos. Godfather. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, wait, what the fuck? He was in the Godfather. And he's a background extra because they were like, oh, you're not Italian enough. Sylvester Stallone. And he was like, and there's an interview.

Starting point is 00:48:55 He's like, I sweat marinara sauce, guys. Like, what do you want from me? My name is Sylvester Stallone. Your name must be Balotelli before I allow you to. And then he was just like, what the fuck? He's like, but yeah, I was a background character in that. I mean, my name is Sylvester Stallone. Your name must be Balotelli before I allow you to do it. And then he was just like, what the fuck? He's like, but yeah, I was a background character in that. And then the story about Rocky and like he held on to that.

Starting point is 00:49:13 He was poor. He had to sell his dog. He went through shit just to get that movie made. And super inspirational, as you guys are saying. Is that a Scorsese movie? No. No, that's a- Francis Ford Coppola. The first two. And then the third is, I forget.

Starting point is 00:49:27 Third's a trash one. So Stallone was never an actor before that. He just put everything into it. Yeah, no, he's acting too. He's like... Say your work is real work, Cody. Yeah, no, he like straight up just bet on himself, yeah. Yeah, and he bet on himself, and he fucking paid off,

Starting point is 00:49:44 because he got an Oscar. His first fucking movie ever. He pled to the greatest movie of all time, Demolition Man. Oh, yes. Oh, God. Demolition Man is so fucking good. He doesn't know how to use the shells. All restaurants are Taco Bells.

Starting point is 00:49:58 Still haven't figured out how to use the shells, dude. Dude, what a piece of shit. So I asked that on Twitter a couple months ago. I was like, guys, how do you use the three seashells? And I don't know. No one knew? Yeah, yeah. It's like I'm thinking it's like a bidet type thing where it's like one of them sprays your asshole and then one of them dries it.

Starting point is 00:50:17 And then like. No, that's legit. Like, so my toilet paper video where I got mad at my wife for buying single ply toilet paper. I did way more research on human butt-wiping history than I ever thought I would. People actually wipe their ass with seashells at some point. Dead-ass serious.

Starting point is 00:50:34 Native Americans in North America, guess what they use for toilet paper? Corn cobs. I've heard that before. I use poison ivy. They use corn cobs. If you ever look at the farm... Anything's toilet paper if you're brave enough.

Starting point is 00:50:50 I'm not sure. If you ever look at the farmer's almanac or... Put it in and twist and pull up. The Sears catalog. Spray it with a hose. Take it to the river. It's like a mustard. If you ever look at the Sears catalog or the farmer's almanac,

Starting point is 00:51:04 even today the farmer's almanac, when it's printed, has a black circle in the upper left-hand corner. That's actually to drill out to run a piece of string through to hang it in the outhouse to use the remaining pages as shit-wiping paper. Because that's how toilet paper advanced over time. Wait, for real? Yeah. And then back, the Romans used a communal sea sponge on a stick that they would leave in a vat of vinegar. 00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00,00, at the same time. Bro. Have you seen the one where it's the giant porta potty where there's eight urinals? There's eight urinals up on the wall.

Starting point is 00:51:48 Like it's a big fucking communal urinal. It's called the Coctagon. I've seen that one. I saw a guy at Reading Festival in England. There was a trough and he fucking slip and slide

Starting point is 00:51:58 through the trough. I know it must have been like a bet or something, but we're all sitting there. All of a sudden, here's everyone screaming. And Bonnie's like, Eddie the Eagle. Eddie the eagle comes just flying out

Starting point is 00:52:10 breaking at the sound barrier it was like oh what a fight guy just runs off covered in human everything it's disgusting was it you that told me about the peach hawk that some middle eastern countries use a peach hawk yeah where it's like you know like a pool table has the chalk Disgusting. Was it you that told me about the pea chalk that some Middle Eastern countries use? A pea chalk? Yeah. You know, like a pool table has the chalk? I didn't know about this. Wait, what?

Starting point is 00:52:32 Yeah, where it's like, you know, no matter how much you shake it, you get the one extra drip, right? Apparently, in some cultures, there's a chalk, and you just chalk the end of your dick, and people were just spreading STDs like crazy using weird the chalk i wouldn't see that one coming what were you gonna say nick oh there was another toilet paper technique i'd i'm not sure if it was i want to say it was romans uh but it might have been like ancient greek i don't know i'm too drunk but they also had they would take broken pottery shards and they would like just round out the edges. Oh, thank God.

Starting point is 00:53:08 And then they would carve the name of like their political adversaries or people they hated in it. And then they would just keep it in like their coin purse. And that would be like their poop scraping stuff. So they'd just like scrape all the poop off their butthole with this piece of round off pottery. But they like wrote the name of somebody they hated on it. I don't know why I thought that was funny.

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Starting point is 00:54:48 This is mine. This is what I do. Fuck you, Theocles. It's like this. I'm going to run this down. I'll take that. Hasan Piker! Hasan Piker!

Starting point is 00:54:59 Is that weird? I'm going to kill you! The weird statistic. No, in real life! The weird statistic, like 50% of wipes standing. Do you wipe sitting or standing?

Starting point is 00:55:12 I don't wipe. Usually it's a 50-50 if you wipe sitting or standing. You just casually just ignored the fact. I was just like, I don't wipe, man. It must be our day. We have to burn. I got Trudeau carved don't wait, man. I was like, man, that's you. It must be our day. We have to burn that. I got Trudeau carved into a piece of clay.

Starting point is 00:55:29 We have to burn his chair after this. Speaking of this, I was an electrician, obviously. I have a bunch of friends who are still electricians. And I have them on Snapchat still. And one of the guys that I went through the apprenticeship with, he's in the bigger city below me. They're building a hotel in this Des Moines, Iowa. And this hotel has pre-made bathrooms.

Starting point is 00:55:51 They just come in a big crate. The bathroom's completely done. All you have to do is hook up the water lines to the shower, the toilet, and the faucets, whatever. So it's just like pre-canned whatever. Great, perfect, wonderful. In Mexico, generally speaking speaking you don't flush toilet paper because the plumbing can't handle it in mexico so hispanic workers that are showing up

Starting point is 00:56:13 and working on these job sites aren't accustomed to flushing toilet paper and they do what's custom in their country which is throwing the toilet paper into the trash can, and if the trash can isn't there, they just throw it in the corner. Right? So, there's like 200 pre-made in a box bathrooms, and people are just going into these bathrooms that aren't hooked up to anything, sitting in an open field, shitting in them, and just throwing the toilet paper

Starting point is 00:56:40 into the corner, and they're just not hooked up to any toilet paper or any plumbing at all and it's fantastic The three seashells question on Twitter a while back there was like a couple of Europeans in there and they're like you guys don't have Bidets you fucking savages. I The hot honey McCrispy is so back at McDonald's. With juicy 100% Canadian-raised seasoned chicken, shredded lettuce, crispy jalapenos, and that completely craveable hot honey sauce, it's a sweet heat repeat you don't want to miss. Get your Hot Honey McCrispy today.

Starting point is 00:57:17 Available for a limited time only at McDonald's. I've never used a bidet. Neither have I. I haven't either. I understand bidets if you live on, I don't know, an island or whatever, where you don't have enough trees to cut them down and wipe your ass with. But whatever. We have that here. Skill issue.

Starting point is 00:57:35 Yeah, it's a skill issue. It's a skill issue. Scale, skill, both, really. Because people don't realize that Great Britain is literally... If you had to guess the size of Great Britain in regards to a state... Texas. Wait, not the entirety of England. All of Britain.

Starting point is 00:57:52 All of Britain. All of the UK compared to a state. Which one do you think it is? Florida, then. Not even fucking close. Sorry, Connecticut. I don't know which one Connecticut is. Connecticut's pretty small. The closest one is Michigan. It's about more like I don't know which one Connecticut is like New Jersey, Connecticut small I don't think the closest one is Michigan. It's it's about

Starting point is 00:58:08 3,000 square miles smaller than Michigan Just to give you a scale of how fighting big the u.s. Is oh, that's it. Yeah, it got Nick real good. Wait, wait, wait. Bam! I've learned his brand of humor by now. God damn it. What the fuck? Nick's always the hardest one.

Starting point is 00:58:33 Like these hard jokes, I'm like, everyone, and Nick's like, but that, the Hogwarts joke, he's fucking pissing himself over here. Fucking knee slapping. Like, Martin Herreraera giving high fives this uh this has happened and i swear i swear to you this happened it was like my third or fourth week now i don't believe you yeah yeah it's my third or fourth week week in england i'm walking down

Starting point is 00:59:00 the street i see this window roll down someone's driving by and all I hear is, Expelliarmus! And there's some guy in a full on Harry Potter outfit pointing a wand at me, driving by. And I was like, did I just get drive-by spelled? Like, what? Like, did this just happen? Yeah. So you're like, oh, what the fuck?

Starting point is 00:59:18 That was weird. These drive-by enchantings. Or what is it, the mass wandings in the UK? But I was, I literally, as they drove off, I thought that did not help their stereotype whatsoever because I'm going to tell everybody about this. Well, at least our schools. No, no, no. I've seen the Harry Potter movies.

Starting point is 00:59:34 That shit's a fucking battleground. Yeah. What's going on? Sorry. I need to check my time. You're right. We need to ban high-capacity wands. Yeah.

Starting point is 00:59:44 Okay. So now you're doing your, you've done your taste buds. You're right, we need to ban high-capacity wands. Yep. Okay, so now you're doing your fucking content. You're doing everything. What are the things that you like to do outside of like, hey, this was my... What was your job while doing content until you fully transduced? Fucking tradesmen because we're hilarious. Damn straight.

Starting point is 00:59:59 Yes, what's up? Wait, were you a tradesman? I was an accountant. No, I'm kidding. I did... That's Italian. Not autistic. Wait, were you a train smith? I was an accountant. No, I'm kidding. You're autistic? I did a... That's Italian. Not autistic.

Starting point is 01:00:10 This is Italian. This is autistic. Same thing. Same thing. So my first job ever, I was a butcher. That was part-time when I went through college. Oh, yeah. And then after I was done college, I worked on the railway.

Starting point is 01:00:25 I did a bit of laboring and then moved on to semi-skilled laboring and bricklaying. And then after that, I came back here and I worked. That's my sex life is semi-skilled laboring. I told her her pussy stunk because I only last 30 seconds. I told her to leave. Your gas light. Told her her pussy stunk cuz I only last 30 seconds Where you going it's break time we've been here we're terrible you need to leave not into this Microwave beeping Why is the hallway beeping? The hallway is beeping. I don't know what to say. That's why I came. So I worked in concrete, did precast concrete, worked operating the mixer.

Starting point is 01:01:21 And then after that, it was the switch where I'm sitting there and I'm thinking, okay, I have 600,000 followers. I want to try and do this full time. I can't do this full time and this work full time because I was up to like like 3 in the morning That's not healthy to have a few hours sleep and keep going So I thought okay I'm gonna leave here then I'm gonna go and find a job somewhere where I can do it part-time that was framing houses and building fish farms So I did that three days a week and then eventually I started making more with content and then I said We breezed over fish farms really quickly. I feel like you fucking.

Starting point is 01:01:45 It wasn't like there was no. You need to learn how to tell these stories. You're just sitting there tending to an aquarium. Hold on. Go back to fish farms. You don't get to gloss over that. It was actually. So my dad raised me.

Starting point is 01:01:57 I went to war for 13 years, killed 100 people, and then college started. Let me get into college. Hold on. So it's like, rewind one thing. So the fish farms. The fish farms are actually cool. It wasn't, the docks that we made weren't out of wood. They were these new technology interlocking, like they pour them in molds. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:02:14 What kind of fish? I don't. It was rainbow trout. Okay. So I would build the fish farms that the trout would go in, but that was after we left. So the way that the docks worked is you just, it's like a puzzle. They float, you keep attaching pieces to it, and then you just make the farm. A dock that you walk out over the water on.

Starting point is 01:02:33 Yeah, so we would then throw the next piece in. I was lost on dock. Yeah, I'm still playing catch up. You were a professional fish fucker. Yes. Okay. Yes, but the way that it would work is you do one piece, you'd stand on it, and then you'd drag the next piece on a rope through the water because it floats right and then you put

Starting point is 01:02:48 It in drilling the the bolts and whatever and then you'd step on the next one drag the next and you would keep going until You like wanted it to be a certain size, right? So after you put the liners in and you're getting put fish in is anyone else imagining this in their head not seeing what's happening Yeah, yeah You'd be a terrible movie and put fish in. Is anyone else imagining this in their head and not seeing what's happening? That's exactly what's going on right now. You'd be a terrible movie creator. So you fucked fish. I did. How did you do that without guns?

Starting point is 01:03:11 What? How did you do that without guns? The fish are very submissive. A lot of knives there. Yeah, yeah. Stabbing a fish. You wouldn't be like, draw their fish. It is hard to explain if you haven't seen it,

Starting point is 01:03:23 just the way it works. It's such new technology. Like, I could easily say, yeah, we just made docks out of wood and put a pool.

Starting point is 01:03:28 Sounds like old technology, but. No, it's very, very new. Yeah. I'm so confused right now. I'm like,

Starting point is 01:03:34 okay. Don't bully the Canadian. I'm sorry, sorry, sorry. Your next job, go. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:03:42 Your fish hatchery was a success. This is why I skipped over the damn Why do we put it in airplane mode we don't know this is fucking magic nobody knows while this shit works Day for on the job, and you're just watching YouTube tutorials. You're like, I still don't get it. I'm going to just do what they say. I almost got arrested on the plane, by the way. Speaking of airplane mode. Because of fish?

Starting point is 01:04:10 No. So I had downloaded. How many fish did you fuck? None. On the plane? Yeah. Why'd you bring fish on the plane? Like the stewardess almost fucking kicked me out of the plane mid-flight.

Starting point is 01:04:22 What'd you say? So like going back to college, right? So like there's recorded lectures that the professor puts up or whatever, and I was watching the pre-recorded lecture while I was on the plane that I had downloaded, and I was not on Wi-Fi or anything connected to any cellular network,

Starting point is 01:04:41 but I was on my computer, and apparently to the stewardess, it looked like I was on Zoom, and I was not supposed to be making video calls while I was on a plane And I tried to eat those I tried to explain to the first class 55 year old stewardess. Yeah, I was actually Shows fucking amazing you got me first class Sure was like she was like is this one okay I was like Nick pays it back really quickly on an episode

Starting point is 01:05:07 show you made me go in luggage when you you made me go in luggage I got thrown I got thrown onto a conveyor belt

Starting point is 01:05:17 just slowly who did you fly with UPS also this guy podcast actually made money flying him out

Starting point is 01:05:24 because Uncle Dijon had to throw the plane to America to get it here. Shout out DHL for smuggling me in a box. That box cutter still hurts. Thanks for bringing that other stuff, by the way. But yeah, no, she walked by and saw like this lecture going on. I was like, you're not allowed to do video calling mid-flight. I was like, this isn't, it's a prerecorded lecture that's four years old.

Starting point is 01:05:47 And she's like, it looks like Zoom. I go, well, it is, but it's recorded. And she just didn't understand. You're like, watch me pause it. I was like, I'm just going to put my laptop away. I'm not getting put on a list. I'm already on a list for sure, but I'm not getting put on a list. You had a Congress with Zuckerberg moment right there. Yeah, it's like yeah

Starting point is 01:06:08 This argument no matter what I show in a fucking call it a day if you hit play will it play a zoom video exactly Did I yes? Did I ever tell you guys a story about when I got the basically the fucking knock and talk because I was drawing something on The plane I was drawing a gun part Love to hear this. What? Let's go. So, okay, so I was flying economy because I was broke. And I was, like, in the back of the plane next to the shitters.

Starting point is 01:06:34 Like, there was nobody back here. Like, nobody in the back rows. I was designing a part of a handguard. Like, we were working on, like, I think it was, like, an AK-50 handguard or something at the time. So I was drawing out, like, a fucking gun on a cocktail napkin with a pen right brandon you do look brown and not mexican that's fair okay well it's the lebanese comes out in the nose bro you could be typecast as like any any fucking person in a movie like you could be the terrorist you could be the cartel so typecast is any person that is brown and dangerous. I didn't want to say that, Congressman, but fuck.

Starting point is 01:07:08 I just picture everyone walking up to the bathroom, and they look down, and they see brown man Herrera just drawing schematics. I had two flight attendants walk by. One of the guys who basically sold me a drink there was just like, well, that's an interesting drawing. And then I had another flight attendant say the the exact same thing well that's interesting i'm just over here like what the fuck is wrong like i can it's not like i'm sitting here drawing swastikas like what the fuck do you want from me and uh i had i had a flight attendant come

Starting point is 01:07:38 back and sit in the opposite row and kind of like hey what's your name how are you doing like that sort of thing i'm like like name's brandon i'm actually doing quite well today like how are you like what's and it took it took me a second i'm like they've made you come she's like well what are you working on i'm like oh it's my work this i'm designing something they made you come back here and talk to me didn't they say no we're just making sure that you know everybody's okay and i. And I'm like, I'm literally, my brain can't comprehend it. I'm like, you made me go through TSA. Are you worried? It's going to ooga booga.

Starting point is 01:08:11 I'm going to pop it out of a fucking cocktail napkin. Like what the fuck do you think is. I don't know who's got make on that one. Like, I don't know. I just thought of the one drawn SpongeBob. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same.

Starting point is 01:08:25 I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. I was the same.

Starting point is 01:08:27 I was the same. I was the same. I was the same. We're just going to cost the American taxpayer another $3 trillion. Look at that fucking $3 trillion box cutter, dude. That's what you were designing there. Like, fuck. You remember that really shitty thing that happened 20 years ago? It's about to happen again. Uh-oh.

Starting point is 01:08:55 Oh, my God. Never mind. Got it. Ding. Joke registered over 20 years ago. Holy shit. It's been a while for that one. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:09:04 I didn't even think about that. On to more fun topics. Yeah. Yeah. Can we go back to wiping our asses? I'm horrible. Like, so are you into, what do you do for fun

Starting point is 01:09:19 outside of your content? Absolutely nothing. Wish he lived in America. Yeah, yeah. Just wish. I escape Jared Taylor's house for fun. That sounds like a Mr. Beast video. I escaped Jared Taylor's house in less than 24 hours for fun.

Starting point is 01:09:35 Like, what? But what else do you do? Like, you're like, okay, what sports? Like, racing? I haven't really. You apparently really like boxing because you know even while they're getting knocked, or if you're knocking out. I like the sport.

Starting point is 01:09:47 I mean, I've been heavily involved with the Pro Fighter League, and that's, like, I love MMA. That's how you met Logan, I'm assuming. No, actually. We just randomly connected through Instagram. Like, it was a little bit before that PFL event, so it was cool. But, like, I have a lot of friends in Bellator, like American Top Team that I talk to and that kind of just,

Starting point is 01:10:09 like that whole world is really cool. Like I have some friends that train American Top Team, some at Kill Cliff and it's like they hate each other. So it's cool to be like in the middle of that sort of rivalry. But yeah, that's pretty much what I do for fun. I'll just watch sports. Have you been down to Top Team yet? No, no, I've never been there, no. Dude, I went there fucking I'm here, it's a much what I do for fun. I'll just watch sports. Have you been down to Top Team yet?

Starting point is 01:10:25 No. No, I've never been there, no. Dude, I went there a fucking couple years ago. I hear it's a really cool game. Yeah, Tyrone Spong, the kickboxing champion of the world, like fucking gave me three leg kicks. I couldn't walk for a couple years. I remember that video. That was awful.

Starting point is 01:10:40 How about another one? Do you see him? We were with Chuck Liddell, and he's like. He didn't walk for like two weeks. Chuck's like, kick him again. I'm like, Chuck, no. Shut up, Mohawk. Words that will never escape my lips to Chuck Liddell.

Starting point is 01:10:55 Shut up, Mohawk. I'm on the list of things to say. Dude, in the back of his hands, like that punch muscle, like right here when you clench your fist, looks like a fucking cancerous tumor on Chuck Liddell. It's scary. Those are my four-inch gloves. He has a fucking canned ham on the end of each one of his wrists. They just spray-painted his hands with the gloves.

Starting point is 01:11:16 Can I tell the first time I met Chuck Liddell? Depends on which time it was. I saw it at Utah when we were there. FanDuel Casino's exclusive live dealer studio has your chance at the number one feeling, winning, which beats even the 27th best feeling, saying I do. Who wants this last parachute?

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Starting point is 01:11:52 Please play responsibly. Oh, yeah. I'm going to pull the pickle juice. That shit's fucking delicious. So I was like, I grew up watching Chuck Liddell, and I was like, I'm going to fucking, I'm going to fuck with Chuck Liddell. I'm going to give him the old boop, like everything. I forgot about this. I was like, I'm going to fuck with Chuck Liddell. I'm going to give him the old boop, like everything. I forgot about this.

Starting point is 01:12:06 I was like, I was going to try this. I was going to fucking be like, aren't you the X-Science guy? I was going to pretend like I didn't know who he was, whatever. We showed up. I knew he was going to be there at this event in Salt Lake City that you were there, you were there. Oh, yeah.

Starting point is 01:12:20 We were all there. One of our Zydex trips. The first time I walked into a Zydex, our computer first time I walked into Zydex, our computer sponsor, I walked into their big room where they have 30 or so computers where you can do LAN parties and play video games. I just walked in. I was like, fucking Chuck Liddell's here. I'm going to meet Chuck Liddell.

Starting point is 01:12:35 Fucking Chuck is sleeping on the couch snoring. And I was like, he didn't wake up for like two hours. I'm like, mid-video game when he wakes up and he starts playing Candy Crush. Nothing you envisioned. Like one of the funniest, most humanizing events of my entire life. You're like, oh. This is no shit. Like five minutes after the flamethrower.

Starting point is 01:12:59 He ignores. And he's just like, that's kind of cool. He is a bulldog. Like a British bulldog is Chuck Liddell. To a T. I've not met Chuck at all. I met Randy Couture at MSG. That was cool.

Starting point is 01:13:14 Because that was like one of the guys I started, like when I first started getting into watching it. I was blown away at how fucking cool and down to earth Chuck was. He's very cool. He's the exact same thing. I hung out with Chuck and it was like, well, maybe he treats me different because I'm like fucking influencer or whatever. But like, no, I went out to the bar with them. I saw him take a

Starting point is 01:13:34 hundred pictures with random people that knew who he was and he was happy with every single one of them. He's really nice to his fans. Was that the Sardaukard night? That was the Sardaukard night. When we accidentally doxed aaron too yeah i don't know this go on on this yeah so we we we have our zydex computers one of our sponsors and they like they invite us out and that was two years ago i think it was a

Starting point is 01:14:00 year ago probably yeah something like that we go down there and he takes us to one of the only night clubs that's open in Salt Lake because Mormons. That's not a joke. It's the only place that's open late at night. They have the weirdest drinking laws ever because me and you got day drunk. We tried to get fucking day drunk at that hotel.

Starting point is 01:14:21 It just didn't work. You have to do one shot or a beer. You cannot have two drinks at the same time. These shots are measured to a... With an electrical device. Yeah, they have a little device on them that makes sure the shot is perfectly poured. Yeah, they're counting liquor

Starting point is 01:14:37 like a drug dealer. It sucks. It's insane. It's terrible. We're at this fucking nightclub and it's just a bunch of college kids. And, of course, everyone's coming up to Chuck, and they're like, hey, oh, my God, you're Chuck Liddell. Can I cut in real quick? Go ahead. Because it's before this.

Starting point is 01:14:54 We're at, like, a restaurant. We're getting dinner, all of us. And Chuck is just like, I want to go to a fucking party. And then we hop in the vans, and we go to a party. And we are stacked so thick in this van it's like a nine-person van that there are 11 people it's like us like mike jones is across our laps grand thumb it's like we're just packed into this fucking restaurant i called my cousin that i haven't seen in 10 fucking years and i was like hey you live kind of near salt lake city. Oh, yeah. Can you make it here?

Starting point is 01:15:27 I'm with Chuck Liddell and a bunch of other YouTubers. And he's like, his wife was nine months pregnant. I don't know if you guys knew that. But he's like, if you give birth, name him Chuck. He texts me. He's like, bro. I'm the coolest person at my military base right now because I have pictures with Cody and Brandon and you and Grand Thumb and Houston Jones and Chuck Liddell and whatever. So he showed up and then we all went to that club together. And the minute we showed up to that club, apparently Chuck knew the guy that owned the club or was the head of security or something.

Starting point is 01:16:00 Something like that. That's why we went there. And, like, eight security guards just walked out and, like, pushed half of the entire room apart and put velvet ropes up. And we're just taking coffee tables that were full of just food and alcohol and two dudes grabbing the whole coffee table, walking it over, and just setting it in front of all of us. And everything was free. At least I didn't pay for it. 1 person in our group who we will not name was so fucking high. Yeah. We're not gonna say that. We won't say there's a lot of people in this group.

Starting point is 01:16:33 I'm not gonna say who it was, but like I was, I was a medic. I naturally kind of care about people in my group. And I walked over and this dude is looking seven years into the future on the couch. And I over like hey buddy how how are you doing and he's like would you hand me my water and he goes like this and i looked and the water was i should like this far in front of his face and he just couldn't fucking he couldn't scale that distance on his own i was like this man was swimming through the Andromeda galaxy. Like, he was just fucking gone. Thank you so much. And I was like, okay,

Starting point is 01:17:09 I'm going to go back to hanging out with these guys, and then that's where you pick up. It's just the water's like the Matrix, and all the guns flying by. It's just like, and that's his arm, and that water is just like, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. I can't get that. Hey, Nick, can you grab that for me?

Starting point is 01:17:27 Yeah, so they're giving us free drinks because Chuck Liddell is in the room. All of the drinks. They just roped off half the place for us. And I don't know, we just get so fucking hammered. I'm like, hey guys, what if we did the Sardaukar chant to the entire room, like from Dune?

Starting point is 01:17:44 Hold on. The hum-na-na-na-ma-na-na-ma. What if we did the Sardaukar chant to the entire room, like from Dune? Hold on. The hum-num-num-num-num-num-num-num. Well, you paid the fucking DJ, what, like two grand or something? No, no, no. It was 500. It was 500. I remember it being an absurdly high amount for a soccer player. Yeah, I know.

Starting point is 01:18:01 I should have offered him 50 bucks, but we were all hammered off of free fucking booze because Chuck was with us. And that guy's 100% not turning $500 down. He's going to tell that club to shut the fuck up. I know what you're talking about now. Because everyone was like... And you guys are laughing like five-year-olds. They're playing Dune.

Starting point is 01:18:25 We're cracking. We are literally inconsolably laughing. So that was like when we were walking out, you paid the DJ to play a sort of death dance. Completely killed the entire mood of the place. But right before that, Cody was like, you were ready to

Starting point is 01:18:41 fucking fight some college kids over a pool table. they cut you in line because they didn't see your stack of quarters laying there and you were like ready to fight three college kids and i was there like i mean i got i got cody's back i mean but also i got him i got his back and then there was this was the first day i'd ever met nico ortiz and nico was 10 000 down to fight anybody on the planet everyone for anybody that rode in his van to this location it was when nico ran home no no that was the next day oh sorry i was one day off yeah continue i remember like pulling you to the side i look, buddy, I don't think it's that big of a deal.

Starting point is 01:19:27 If you fight these guys, I've obviously got your back, but I'll be pissed later. I'm sitting there like, I had been an influencer for nine months at this point, and I was like, bro, I'm going to get in a bar fight and Chuck Liddell's on my team. This is the trip This is shit in my pants. This is the trip after we went to the bar at the AT4? Yes. I'd done two things with these two. One of them was he's like, hey, I have a musician friend.

Starting point is 01:19:57 We're going to take an AT4 to the bar real quick. Film a music video. The next one was, hey, do you want to go party with Chuck Liddell and get in a bar fight? I can picture Cody so good when those people cut your line. If you look at that camera, Cody's just like, yeah, okay. God damn it. One of the cams. God damn it. No, it was the casing and then this.

Starting point is 01:20:21 It's the head look. It's this right here. I know you so well, Cody. It's the head dip where something happens and then it's the head look it's this right here I know you so well it's the head dip where something happens and then it's and he's just like I'm sorry and then one of the college kids finally

Starting point is 01:20:36 came over and he's like hey man I didn't see your quarter stacked out there I'm really sorry I apologize my name's whatever and then Cody was completely fine with the whole situation. I don't think we ever did. We didn't end up playing pool and he's like, okay, that makes me feel better. We're fine. Two individuals in our party,

Starting point is 01:20:52 none of us here today, and unknown persons, but they hopped on these scooters where you can swipe your credit card and ride them for 15 minutes, whatever. We're walking back in a big crew and they grab these scooters and they're doing donuts around us as we're walking, which is completely fine.

Starting point is 01:21:07 Until one person in the middle of Salt Lake City, Utah, downtown on a Friday night with a bunch of foot traffic with like the OG Mormon church in view decides it'd be really funny

Starting point is 01:21:24 if he started yelling Joseph Smith is a false prophet. Your religion is bullshit. He's just shouting it at the top of his lungs. I'm like, bro, you need to be quiet. He's like, they're just Mormons. Nobody has ever said that

Starting point is 01:21:40 prior to 15 years ago. As the designated history guy here, they've done some savage shit. Please shut up. A hundred years ago, this entire city would have giant picket walls around it. There's a reason the Mormons won the West.

Starting point is 01:21:55 You're about to spawn in the afterlife next if you don't knock it off. Anyways, that was a fun night. It was a great time. Nico ran home the next day and slept in a van because he thought home the next day and slept in a van because he thought it was funny. Nico slept in a van because he was like,

Starting point is 01:22:08 I just thought it'd be funny if I slept in the van that night. Literally. Nico's words. Nico's words. Everyone's going to wake up. I'm like, no one's going to wake up. And no one's going to be like, that's hilarious. I have never met a more genuine person than Nico.

Starting point is 01:22:24 Nico's fucking awesome. I i love nico one of the greatest humans you will ever meet he called up me and brandon one night and was like you want to come to this fight it was the uh the ds jake paul yeah ds yeah he was like hey i got a airbnb and i got tickets like almost front row do you want to come it was like second row back from the corner yeah it's like like yeah nico we'll come to come? It was like second row back from the corner. Yeah. It's like good. Yeah, and Nico will come to that. He's just a genuine fucking dude, man. He's the homie.

Starting point is 01:22:50 Oh, I love Nico. Follow Nico Ortiz, please. He literally blew out his fucking voice yelling at me to put up my fucking hands. Dude, his voice was fucking. You can hear it in the DAZN recording. He was louder than me. Like, you hear me, I kill. And then you hear, put up your fucking hands from Nico. Oh, it brings us fire.

Starting point is 01:23:11 We haven't even talked about that, have we? There's a part in the video where I've watched the recording back just because I'm critiquing my own shit. But you can clearly hear him shout, put up your fucking hands. And I go like... I like shrug, I'm like, god damn it. Yeah, I know. You just get blocking shots looking up like, is this good enough for you?

Starting point is 01:23:34 Nico's literally the friend. I could probably call him tonight and say that I was drunk at the bar and needed a ride home and he would get a flight from Las Vegas to come get me an Uber. He probably fucking would. He actually would.

Starting point is 01:23:46 My business card got cancelled while I was in the air. I landed. He was like, do you need money? I'll give you some money. How much do you need? I got a lot stashed. I was like, bro, you're good, my man. I was like, Nico, love you, bro. I need your friendship.

Starting point is 01:24:01 And I need that beautiful face of yours. Even what motivates him just to do his content stuff. He's just so fucking selfless. Dude. He's just genuine. I think that's the proper word. It's like he's just a selfless human. Selfless dude.

Starting point is 01:24:11 That is the perfect military guy. Did you see his podcast episode with his personal assistant? Oh, no. Oh, dude. It was awesome. The yoga one? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where she ended up working for him and he has just like

Starting point is 01:24:26 helped her with everything in the world to where now she has like 800 at last I checked 800,000 subs on Instagram doing yoga and he like helped her become a successful influencer he's one of the best humans

Starting point is 01:24:42 like Nico's personality he's loud. He is, like, he's Nico online. But when you get him in a person, yes, he is loud. He is one of the most humble, amazing humans you will ever meet and just wants to help everyone. You're like, oh, I love these people. There's instances where, like, you have people whose online persona

Starting point is 01:25:01 is the same as who they are in person, which I like to think is me. Like me, Cody, you know, a lot of us are the same people we are online as offline. Some people have a very, like, I guess, dramatic internet persona. And, like, it kind of rubs people the wrong way, but, like, that's not how they actually are in real life. Like, Nick, like, you're not, like, you're very animated,

Starting point is 01:25:21 especially back when you did, like, the TikTok short stuff. Like, you were a very animated person. Yeah, I had to be. That's just how content works. That's just how it is. Nico's one of those dudes where he's always like, bro! On online, but you sit down with him and he's like, let's talk analytics. Dude, he's one of the smartest dudes.

Starting point is 01:25:39 Wicked smart. My boy's wicked smart. Yeah, my boy's wicked smart. He's so smart. My boy's wicked smart. He threw me off. Yeah, my boy's wicked smart. He's one of those people that, and he hates when I say this, but like genuinely sitting down in a room with him, you're like, oh, I'm not the smartest person here. No, this is this guy over here. He just wants you to have a good, you're like, I don't know this fucker. Honestly, no.

Starting point is 01:25:59 To be honest with you. You guys have been ranting about this guy for 10 minutes. No, I don't ever want you guys to feel like, oh. I feel bad for you. Dylan, are you good? No, honestly, just the sheer fact that I'm down here, to me, is like even a year ago, I never would have pictured, and I've never met such a genuine group of people in my entire life. That's a good question. How is it now from that previous like, hey, I'm butchering shit.

Starting point is 01:26:21 I'm doing fish farms, hatcheries. And now I'm building docks. I'm building docks. Sorry. And now that we don't understand social media, is that how crazy it is? It's because it explaining it to people is one of the hardest things to do. You're like, oh, because everyone's mind. It's like, oh, like that would be so dope. The best way I can the best way I can explain it is I've never tried to think

Starting point is 01:26:46 too much I try to just go with the flow and and figure shit out because I'm always constantly trying to adapt like my entire life is I don't want to go through my entire life but I've always had to like fixate on a new period like okay I can't do this anymore I gotta do this I gotta do this like I've always jumped from like subject to subject, whether it be moving or like family splitting up, like it's always been something. So this is just to me is just another adjustment that I have to make.

Starting point is 01:27:13 But for the most part, I think the biggest changes sometimes like people be like, hey man, I just wanna let you know, like I have a really bad time in life and I watch your videos and they cheer me up. And I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm doing that for somebody like you're always nice to see even even if weird in it it is weird because I sit there and all I yeah yeah I am a degenerate I make me want I know this is bizarre I've had parents big my son loves your stuff he's eight years old I'm like not the right age girl that's always really

Starting point is 01:27:46 uncomfy but for me i think i'd like to put myself in their mindset because i've been on the other side i've messaged influencers being like hey just want to let you know like i really appreciate you know your content whatever and i'm like you know what they never responded to me and i would have been so happy like even it would have just made my dad could have had the shittest day ever and somebody that i reached out to just, so I will take the time and write a full-on paragraph. Or I'll send them a video message. I mean, like, I appreciate that, man.

Starting point is 01:28:12 And there, it's always, like, all cats. Holy shit! They get so excited. Yeah, and even to you guys. Like, I know, like, this is true for a lot of us. Even though we can't reply to all, you know, fucking thousands of comments that we get all the time, like, we do read them. Like like so like it like whether or not you

Starting point is 01:28:27 guys know like it does mean a lot to us this is from YouTube reddit Twitter like we see yeah like all platforms and we appreciate like we like the feedback we as I always say it's like I think it's that we work for them it's that yeah that's when they have our plans without platforms without you all out there and that's why we're super thankful and yes we joke we do this and we try to show because it is the hardest thing

Starting point is 01:28:50 because it's like the working class super important to me my pops I'm sure everyone at this table it's like the working class I think everybody at this table was part of the working class yeah

Starting point is 01:28:59 and that's why it's like it's like super important like hey we fucking appreciate we know your struggle we and we are privileged to have this now And that's why it's like super important. We're like, hey, we fucking appreciate. We know your struggle. And we are privileged to have this now. And it was through like a lot of fucking hard work and blood, blood and tears across the board. I can say that.

Starting point is 01:29:15 Like, Cody lived in your parents' basement. This is after being out of the military, doing videos until it took off. Yeah, dude. Left policing to do all that after, like, you know, I grew up in a fucking trailer. I was a server. I worked construction. I did all that shit. You have meat.

Starting point is 01:29:32 You were like, animal butcher, then like the fit. Like Canadian. Animal butcher. Yeah. Talk about a Canadian. Talk about a Canadian. Animal butcher. Talk about a Canadian.

Starting point is 01:29:42 Animal butcher. Yeah. You're like, I gotta do this. I think the biggest part for me though is it's like, holy shit. Like I, I'm actually like making a difference and that's the biggest thing to me. And whenever I sit there and get an opportunity to come down here, I do genuinely think like,

Starting point is 01:29:57 I would not be able to do this without the people that have supported me. Follow me. And I always say that I make that very apparent as I, I will never forget that fact of life that I am only sitting at this table because people have supported me and been on my team when they don't even know me. That's crazy because a lot of friends and family didn't support. It was strangers. It's weird. That's the craziest part.

Starting point is 01:30:20 You're going to make a ninja cry in the club. It's hard because like even Brandon Brandon, we all had hard trips. We were talking about four or five years ago, I was literally scraping together fucking dimes under the seat of my flood car at the time so I could buy a 99-cent cheeseburger at McDonald's because I was hungry after being a college dropout. None of us started out succeeding. I can tell you the gas station in Renton, Washington, that allows you if you have a dollar on your card that will overcharge. It just registers so you can put $50 in your car.

Starting point is 01:30:58 You take the overdraft. Yeah, and you're like, okay, I'm going to get paid for a few more days. I've got to do this. Your boy did that multiple times because I'm like, got to make this work. I don't get paid for a few more days. I gotta do this boy Multiple times cuz much gotta make this work. I don't need sleep. I'm fine when I got that that was from his second YouTube video editing Yeah, he's not like I ruptured I was I had like I just had my first kid cutter And I was just fucking like mad that I just didn't have as much free time as I did before. So I was basically I was fucking ego lifting.

Starting point is 01:31:27 Like I didn't warm up the way I should have when I was bench pressing. I was bench pressing like fucking 405 and the third rep, my bicep fucking ruptured. 405. I don't think that's ego lifting at 405. No, it completely is. You're fucking lifting.

Starting point is 01:31:41 It was third rep for whatever reason, my bicep fucking ruptured, retracted into my chest. And then I was off work. You're bicepted? Sorry, my pec. My pec sucked into the middle of my chest, just like the videos you see online. I hate that. So I did that.

Starting point is 01:31:55 And that's when I was at home fucking high on Percocet after getting surgery to repair my pec. Nice. And I was at home high on Percocet, and I just downloaded TikTok finally and watched TikTok for like 12 hours a fucking day. I was like, oh, I can make a TikTok. I can be funny. I did it.

Starting point is 01:32:12 I got like 12 million views on a TikTok talking about my favorite grocery store. Your first one? Yeah. You fuck you. You have the dumbest thing on the planet. Fuck you, Nick. We talked about this before.

Starting point is 01:32:23 You had one of the most meteoric rises ever. It was so dumb. This next segment's called Fuck Nick. Can we do a t-shirt that says Fuck You Nick? Before I downloaded TikTok, I was

Starting point is 01:32:38 off work. I just had my first kid. My wife couldn't go back to work yet. I was doing DoorDash trying to make money. And it was like the lowest point of my fucking life. I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet. Cause I like, I was ego lifting.

Starting point is 01:32:53 I got hurt. And now I can't provide for my wife and kids. I felt like the biggest piece of shit on the planet made a tech talk, got 12 million views. And then this fucking happened out of nowhere. Fuck you, Nick. I know there was a time I remember like my,

Starting point is 01:33:09 my dad had pulled me to the side. This is like a few years ago, like before I'd started, you know, you start making money and start doing all this stuff. But like, I was like, I've got to make this work.

Starting point is 01:33:16 He pulled me to the side. He's like, dude, you're not sleeping. You're not healthy right now. Cause I'm just like, you've got it. I'm like,

Starting point is 01:33:23 I'm like, I have, I have one option right now. Cause I'm not going back to fucking school, not going back to law school, not doing all that shit. I'm going to make this fucking work. Mom, mom, did you see my race? Of course I did, darling. Look, you did your best.

Starting point is 01:33:39 You tried. The thing is, it's not about winning. It's about taking part. Next year you might do better. But I did win, Mom. You did? When it's sunny, make sure you can still see. At Specsavers, get two pairs of glasses from $149

Starting point is 01:33:54 and one can be prescription sunglasses. Hey, the sun won't wait. Visit specsavers.ca for details. Conditions apply. I was working as much as I could. It was really unhealthy. I would change a lot of things if I could go back, but he was just like, dude, you are going to die. See you next time. something you don't give up on no matter what yes you might stumble yes you might fall but it is that perseverance that's going to get you through it and that is what separates fucking 99 percent of everyone it's like yeah dude one like only one percent has that ability to be like

Starting point is 01:34:38 fuck it i'm going there is no plan b i have plan a and I'm going to make plan A fucking work no matter what. I don't give a shit if it takes one year, five years, a decade, two decades. I have to stay the course, and I have to make this work. And I'm going to sacrifice everything in order to make it happen. And that is what separates a lot of people entrepreneurs. But people can't push through the uncomfortable phase. Because it gets uncomfy for a fucking minute. For some of us. I know.

Starting point is 01:35:09 Other than fucking fuckhead over here. Oh, door dash for a month. And you're fucking here. First of all. I think the biggest. Nick's the lowest point. I went back to being an electrician after that for like a year. Oh, I know.

Starting point is 01:35:23 And I was the most confrontational dickhead on the planet. You're like, I don't need this. Pretty much, yeah. I think the most important thing that I got taught from my first job is my first manager, Darren. And he used to say to me, he's like, Dylan, it doesn't matter what you do in life.

Starting point is 01:35:39 You're working out of butchers. Just try and be the best butcher you can possibly be. He's like, because even if you don't want to be the best butcher, it's it's your first job this needs to be instilled into you that you need to put passion in anything that you do and I didn't understand at the time but I listened and I was okay like any job I've ever had I've always tried to be the best so it was like flipping a burger it's like be the best burger flipper like it it's it's a unique skill that you can actually gain by trying and by practice. But some people don't get told that some people like, Oh, you work at Walmart. Like

Starting point is 01:36:11 who cares? No, try to be like the best employee you can be. Because then I made that switch when I was sitting there in my office. I'm like, I get told all the time, you're a great worker. And I'm like, why should I should be a great worker for myself and then that's when I started focusing and I already had the ability to have the passion and the drive to do it because of what I learned doing my minimum wage jobs that okay, I can put this into myself and I was ready. Like it was still hard, don't get me wrong,

Starting point is 01:36:37 like the three hours a night sleeping for that first six months of trying to make the switch from full time, like full time work to full time content. But you have to, everybody has to go through a hardship. It's the only, if it was easy, everybody would do it. So you need to, like, even if you feel like never give up, even if you feel like you're doing something, that's like, oh man, what if it's not?

Starting point is 01:36:56 Who cares? Like, you're only here once. I love the trajectory these last few podcasts have taken where like we start with like cum and dick jokes and like the last 30 minutes is like inspirational. Like like we believe in you guys and you can fucking win and here's how to do it i truly because i truly believe if you push if as long and this doesn't just apply to youtube like this applies to literally anything exactly that's the thing it's like i said you you get it at the start you can can apply it to anything. It doesn't matter what it is. It's just getting the motivation to just shut the fuck up, motivate yourself and do it. If,

Starting point is 01:37:31 cause there's a million fucking people, like I can give you a million examples of people who want to be YouTubers. People want to be the best at X, Y, and Z. Here's what I always say. It's like, you know, what's the difference between Elon Musk and anyone? Not a goddamn thing. Both of you are human. Yes, he might have more IQ in certain aspects of life, but guess what? He just put in the effort.

Starting point is 01:37:52 He learned the process, and he kept driving for PayPal, then Tesla, and then SpaceX. He was just like, I want to learn this. I'm going to be the best at it. He is still fucking human

Starting point is 01:38:02 at the end of the day. It is just the motivation yeah but but it's like it's that motivation it's that success where it's like no i can't fucking quit i can't give an excuse to quit like for me one of my biggest motivational factors was riding i'm like hey riding isn't going to have a normal life no matter what he i can set but it is my job as a dad to set him up for success teach him hard work push him but also make sure he is taken care of for the rest of his life and that was one of my biggest driving factors was like i just and i've always built my life i'm like okay no safety net i will jump to la like the second freddie and rocket was like hey you

Starting point is 01:38:43 want to move to la and work fuck yeah they're like I'm going to move there and I'm going to I have to make a job I have to make income and I have to find an apartment and that's another thing too like those opportunities because like a lot of people talk about luck right they say like oh well you got lucky it's like no no no I truly believe this like this is like a running

Starting point is 01:39:00 theory of mine luck as most people understand it is the ability to recognize opportunity and then taking advantage of it. Because a lot of people have these opportunities. And being ready for it. And being, yeah, preparation, you know. They do, exactly. We just became a motivational podcast.

Starting point is 01:39:14 God fucking dammit. This is the second time in a row. I do think there is like sort of, with certain aspects, there is like a genetic limitation. Like if you want to be a bodybuilder, but your muscles are weak, like it's not going to happen. But I think, or if you're a genetic limitation like if you want to be a bodybuilder but your muscles are weak like it's not going to happen but i think or if you're a singer like some people yeah you can learn to sing but like you've got but at the end of the day it doesn't matter like if you'll find something that you're good at and that's when you need to be able to apply what like but at that

Starting point is 01:39:39 point you can still do it of course you can be like, fuck it. So like I'm a jujitsu guy. Like the greatest grappler on earth right now is Gordon Ryan. He's a genetic freak, but on top of it, he's insanely talented. Yeah. But his head coach is John Donahue, who's not necessarily a genetic freak, but he's the coach of the best grappler on earth. Yeah. So like you can always be the guy that makes it happen.

Starting point is 01:40:04 Yeah. Yeah. So that it's almost like a fallout stat sheet you know if you're already starting life with 11 intelligence but three strength maybe don't be a bodybuilder yeah you know i'm gonna figure out what you're good at what you're passionate about and like pick that thing and go in all all in on that and one of the biggest things is don't fucking quit because or get that part where you're like, I'm good enough in this. Brandon, still probably review stuff like even for firearms. Like, hey, here's the new tech.

Starting point is 01:40:30 This is how it works. You're continuing to better yourself, whether it's firearms, YouTube, or whatever it is. Nick, same thing. Everyone is bettering themselves in their aspect of life. Just because I have a decent understanding of cameras, still fucking watch videos on cameras, still directing beats, editing each little piece of the pie. I'm like, how do I better myself even more each and every day? Just piss off gun manufacturers.

Starting point is 01:40:56 That's all you have to do. Science. That's why we're going to have a spicy course start soon. Piss off Sig. Have you seen the beginning of Casino? But for real, kids, if you want to be a shitty influencer, learn to trade

Starting point is 01:41:12 first. I learned to trade. I'm going to call being a police officer a trade. It's very reassuring when you have a wife and kids. If you become moderately successful on social media, you can be like, well, my new rock bottom is whatever a police officer's salary is, or an electrician's salary, or a bricklayer and carpenter.

Starting point is 01:41:33 Fish farmer. Fish farmer. Fish farm dog. Magic. How much does a fish farmer make in Canada? I told you, I didn't touch the salmon. It's reassuring. Mexicans are plus two to... Well, it's called a fertil the salmon. It's reassuring. Mexicans are plus two to...

Starting point is 01:41:46 That's your background. When we were born we were like, plus two to trade skills. This caviar is fertilized. What the fuck? I came on it. What did you want me to do? The way my brain works... That's how mermaids are made.

Starting point is 01:42:02 The way my brain's been working is I'm sitting there like, this is really good motivational stuff. Meanwhile, there's some serial killer. I'll be the best serial killer I ever could be because the unsubscribed podcast motivated me. To you, don't do that. Stop that. The one comment, I got it.

Starting point is 01:42:18 You didn't shrink back four years from now. Like, oh, no. Yeah, on death row, I just want to thank the unsubscribed podcast. I'm going to make, I'm going to make, I'm going to make X Tragedy look like a fucking joke. Please don't.

Starting point is 01:42:35 They said, do the best you can. Motivate others. No, no, no. Thanks, unsubscribe. Well, you got the brick in his hand. Thanks, unsubscribe. It's the new subscribe to PewDiePie.

Starting point is 01:42:48 So, real question. Are you going to subscribe to America? Are you moving here or what? I've been thinking about it. Yeah? I've been thinking about it for sure. There's still a lot of scouting I have to do to make sure. I can't live at Jared Taylor's house.

Starting point is 01:43:05 Jared Taylor can't live at Jared Taylor's house. Jared Taylor can't live at Jared Taylor's house. But I don't know. Just exploring the States and everything. Yeah, it's definitely an option. So you're sitting over here like, freedom, free health care. It's not even free health care. They tax the living snot out of you for it.

Starting point is 01:43:22 What are the taxes like in Canada? You go up there if you have it. What are the taxes like in Canada? You go up there if you have money. I think, I mean, I'm not a tax expert, but I just know they handed me a paycheck and I was like, and then it breaks it down. Oh, this is your health care.

Starting point is 01:43:36 I'm like, I have a headache once a month. I don't need, yeah, it's crazy how much they pay out. And then you see people, you go to the hospital. I've always been an advocate for this would fix 99% of the issue in the Canadian healthcare system. The amount of times I've gone to the hospital with, like, a genuine emergency, like, I'm tunnel visioned with a migraine or something.

Starting point is 01:43:58 I need something. Like, I don't know what's going on. And I see some, it's literally like the family episode where it's like, my foot's asleep. It's like there's people there that go there just because they know yeah oh I can get perks yeah I can get oxy I can get hooked up to an IV and that's like if you go there and the doctor determines it was not an emergency you need to pay $500 yeah that would stop so many people from going there it would stop me for having to wait seven hours at a hospital. Like a deductible like we have. Yeah, gee.

Starting point is 01:44:29 So crazy. Legitimately, out of curiosity, having worked at a blue-collar job, roughly what percentage of your paycheck was just deducted from taxes? I understand there's taxes. We have state. You have provincial? Yeah. I understand there's like taxes. We have state, you have provincial.

Starting point is 01:44:46 Yeah, provincial tax, whatever. But like what percent of your income gets taken from taxes before you even see the money? If you make $100,000 straight up in Ontario, they tax you 52%. Jesus Christ. Holy fuck. No, that's- What? It's like you're making 48 grand.

Starting point is 01:45:03 Yes. Now, obviously if you claim, like if you make, if you make a hundred thousand. And that's... What? So you're making 48 grand. Yes. Now, obviously, if you claim... Holy shit! If you make 100,000... And that's before sales tax. That's before anything else. If you make 100,000 and you write off like 50,000 of that... But if, let's say, you make 100,000, 50,000 of that is write-offs, the government would then only tax you on 50,000.

Starting point is 01:45:23 So it's not like... That 100,000 would have to be straight up unclaimed. Yeah, you're tax you on $50,000. That $100,000 would have to be straight up unclaimed. Your income. I understand that. That's on paper. You make $100,000. If you don't claim anything or write anything off, they will take around $50,000.

Starting point is 01:45:37 Bro, in Texas, we don't even pay income tax. Shit, I'm moving to Texas. Fucking hell. Yeah. No, the taxation's brutal. I'm sorry, did you just say will? Will take you?

Starting point is 01:45:51 Will take you? Yeah, gee, thanks, guys. Nick's moving to Texas. You heard it. You're going to. Nick's moving to Texas, everyone. He's going to be a host. Okay, I realize I'm a host.

Starting point is 01:45:59 I'm just going to fly here once a month, okay? I'm not moving to Texas. No, I'm going to be Nick's neighbor in Iowa. He is, like, legit. I've got him, like, 98% sold on Iowa. It's literally just a left turn, and then I'm at his house. We actually looked at it. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:46:16 It's a northern border of Ontario, Iowa. He's, like, straight left of me. Jesus fucking Christ. I still can't wrap around. 40% just gone Oh it's blowing my mind right now For not doing a thing Oh I would be shooting people

Starting point is 01:46:30 Far before that Me and him stayed up So Cause like I stay at the unsub house At night And you guys all go home Cause you live here

Starting point is 01:46:37 But me and him were up To like 1 in the morning Talking and I was explaining To him how tax loopholes Work in the American system And he's like That seems dumb as fuck And I go yeah It him how tax loopholes work in the American system. And he's like, that seems dumb as fuck. And I go, yeah, it's pretty awesome.

Starting point is 01:46:48 Pretty cool. Is that legal? I've seen how the American government spends my money. And I think I can spend it better. I explained to him how something worked earlier. And he's like, and that's legal to do that? And I was like, yeah. And he's like, that's really interesting.

Starting point is 01:47:05 That's nice. They know, like, if you want to just see to the degree it's fucked up, they know how much you owe every fucking year. You still have to file everything to a T, and if you miss it is when they'll be like, hey, fuckhead. Audit time. Why didn't you just send me it? Well, 20 years ago, hey, fuckhead. Audit time. Why didn't you just send me it?

Starting point is 01:47:31 Well, 20 years ago, whenever, or 40 years ago, whenever all those happened, it was like, because it used to just a mail, you get a check, it's like, or a letter to a T. Here's a bill. Yeah. And then it just switched to the most convoluted system in the fucking world. This is what I was told the other day. And I'm like, you know what? I actually, I don't hate that idea. If you stopped employers from being able to withhold taxes from people on their paychecks, and you made

Starting point is 01:47:51 Mr. and Mrs. America write a check to the government every year for how much they owe in income tax, you'd have a tax revolution overnight. Oh, instantly. People don't realize how much they're taxed. Not as much as Canada, but still. Jesus Christ, it is so much of your fucking money. Oh my God, that would be the best. If you want a wake-up call for one year, we'll implement this for one year. Wait, wait, wait. Brandon Herrera for congress.com.

Starting point is 01:48:13 I'm just pointing it out. I get taxed before I spend my money, and then when I spend my money, and then I get taxed on the assets that I bought with the money that I was taxed on twice. And then when you die. And then when you die. If you don't know how to establish a trust, you have to go through probate. And then for every year you own property until you die. Yeah.

Starting point is 01:48:32 It was like, it's, you know, when we were all younger, it's like you're always looking forward to your tax return. You're like super happy to get your tax return. For $1,200. Yeah. Oh, fuck. Yeah, dude. I can like pay my rent this month.

Starting point is 01:48:46 That was like 2% of what you paid. It's an interest-free loan that you just gave the government. That's all it is. 100%. Everyone look into what you're paying taxes on and get back to us. Yeah, if you think you're getting free money when you're tax returning, you gave them that money. They're giving you a small portion back.

Starting point is 01:49:06 It's because they made you overpay. That's all it is. We just got on a list, didn't we? I'm going to get super anti. I'm going to upset a lot of further right-wing people. I'm on your side, trust me.

Starting point is 01:49:24 I did the math on how much money the average American spends towards food stamps and it's like, it's disproportionate. Disproportionate anger is put on that. Yeah, no, I mean that's true. The entitlements are super low. It's like 36 cents per American taxpayer

Starting point is 01:49:40 goes towards food stamps and I'm like, I understand the system. Do you want to hear a cop story? Kind of. One second, though. Always story time with Cody. No, no, no. Finish yours, then we'll go to the cop story.

Starting point is 01:49:52 I was just going to say, like, I mean, yeah, like I'm not happy when somebody whips out the old EBT card to buy lobster either, but also like 36 cents a month to make sure that some kids aren't malnourished and shave IQ points off to prevent fucking morons from wandering around America in the future. It's obviously fucking, like, there's problems

Starting point is 01:50:13 with the entitlement system. It is disproportionate anger compared to what the United States government does. There's plenty of fucking dumb shit that the government spends money on besides that. I still don't agree with it. People should focus more on the other dumb shit that the government spends money on besides that. I still don't agree with it. Right. But we would 100%

Starting point is 01:50:26 People should focus more on the other dumb shit. We would spend our money willingly if they just got rid of the dumb shit. If they had just a checklist that's like, hey, do you want to spend money on X, Y, or Z? Yeah. Done and done. Then I don't have access to that. I'll fucking live with that the rest of my life. Give me roads, borders, and defense.

Starting point is 01:50:44 That's never the case, though. It's like I need to build an $80 million library that my nephew gets to be the fucking leader of for 80 years. My uncle's name is on. $1.2 billion a year goes to unused government buildings. But how will kids in Pakistan learn that they're... $6 million will go towards that. That's not a fucking joke. in Pakistan learn that they're These are the hard-hitting questions.

Starting point is 01:51:06 $6 million will go towards that. That's not a fucking joke. That was in South Africa. They did it for $20 million. Yeah. That's a legit thing. Inside of every... Now, why the fuck can't we get single-issue spending bills?

Starting point is 01:51:17 Jesus Christ. It's not that fucking hard. Sorry. Okay, Cody, police start. No, I mean... This is not going to save you. What's turning into old white man? Like local shit.

Starting point is 01:51:30 I would show up to like, like I did this. There was a raid one time. It's like a drug fucking apartment. We show up. Sounds fun. Yeah, there's like 20,000 in cash on the couch. And then the four people who had the apartment, they were all on welfare, Section 8, like everything. But they had $20,000 in cash just sitting there

Starting point is 01:51:52 because they were dealing dope. It's a game show, Cash Couch. I saw that one time. I don't know. I don't think that was a different website. That one affects me. Every time I have to pay like hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes every year, like that affects me. Every time I have to pay like hundreds of thousands of dollars in taxes every year,

Starting point is 01:52:05 like that affects me right there. But how are the children of Raytheon executives going to eat? It's like, I just suck, man. Because like when I was a cop, there were so many people that were having kids just to get more welfare because the more kids you have, the more welfare you get. And then like, you know,

Starting point is 01:52:28 we would do these drug raids on these apartments and there's, there's like subsidizing broken homes. Yeah. 20, 30, $40,000 in cash, just like hanging out in their apartments. But they're just like taking this from the government.

Starting point is 01:52:40 And it was just, it's a whole thing. I'll shut my fucking mouth this hurts my no it's funny my attorney's here i grew up super broke and i like explain how the world works to my wife who's very innocent and she's like blown away like we were we were trying to return something at like target or walmart one day and this lady like we watched her do it like she literally walked through bought two 10 pound chunks of hamburger at the at the grocery store and then immediately walked from the cash register to the return line and returned the hamburger meat immediately yeah and

Starting point is 01:53:21 i was like she's like is something wrong with that meat is it bad and i was like no sweetheart that she paid for it with ebt and now she's going through the return line to return the hamburger and then she's going to get paid cash because she's working the target can't recharge her ebt card so they have to give her cash so she's getting cash instead of food for her food stamps and my wife is is like, why is that legal? And I was like, I don't know. We had food stamp houses that we would bust sometimes where you could go in and you could bring them steaks and stuff. And they would give you fucking crack for it.

Starting point is 01:53:58 Because the government was paying for those steaks. And so they were just trading it out for crack. I'd rather take the steak. Yeah. You want it on a rack? Sprinkle it on the steak. So you're moving to America. No, for real.

Starting point is 01:54:16 Are you going to be an American soon? Hopefully. We're taking applications all the time. When is it happening? I don't know. I have to get over the giant ice wall. That's the thing. I got first, though. I still have my guys these plastic straws

Starting point is 01:54:29 back through to Canada, so I Three days and he's been like I can't believe you guys are allowed to have plastic straws And he's just been putting him in his pocket. What did they say? Are you so in pocket? It's not like it's not like plastic straws are contraband or anything, but, like, they're not allowed

Starting point is 01:54:47 to manufacture them anymore? I have no idea. All I know is, yeah, it's the ridiculousness of it. It's like, why paper straws? Well,

Starting point is 01:54:55 they dissolve in water. Sounds anti- Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they?

Starting point is 01:55:00 Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they?

Starting point is 01:55:04 Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? Do they? I Talk about your skin. I mean we can I love the idea It's I mean if we would depends if we want to do it one day. Oh, that is true. Yeah fucking hilarious We'll do it better, so it's fine go I've always wanted to do a skit I've had this kid idea where like you just go to a Starbucks or some shit like that. And it's just like everybody's, oh, okay, well, what can I get for you? Order a drink, whatever.

Starting point is 01:55:34 Oh, would you like a plastic or paper straw? Plastic, please. Lights dim. Just one spotlight on you like the barista. So you don't give a fuck about the turtles then? No, I just, I want a plastic straw. Are you sure? Yeah.

Starting point is 01:55:55 Bring it out! And like on a room service tray, you just have like this covered tray. You almost want it in like, we're gonna do this together, we're gonna shoot this right now together together because you have like the lights dim with like I'll take a With the straw please and you like plastic or paper And they did you're like this plastic ray. Yeah, you're like plastic and then the lights dim

Starting point is 01:56:18 It's like are you sure sir you have that contrast? Yeah, well, well yeah yeah plastics just cuz it's like yeah they bring out the cart and it just like they they rip the fucking sheet off of it and it's just a sea turtle like puppeted just like killed the turtle and we'll give you your plastic straw they just give you a fucking like ceremonial hammer like fucking Cricket I don't want I just I just want a plastic straw. No you wanted to kill a turtle. Here's your fucking turtle just like Just fucking kill the turtle the blood spraying all over the barista mixing with your tears You wanted this

Starting point is 01:57:08 Hey my I can see it perfectly my because I just picture like hitting me with a fucking mallet. But then it cuts back and everybody's perfectly normal. All the lights are back on. Here's your drink. And you're just like blood still on face. And then all of a sudden you just, here you go. Thank you. It's that last one before.

Starting point is 01:57:43 It's looking up to you fucked up and you're looking like this for that last stroke one flipper goes up and then you come down and they're like here you go sir what did you talk about on the podcast last week

Starting point is 01:58:01 I don't know we American History X'd a turtle. Don't worry about it. Jeebus. And on that note, we're going to cut this episode. Bite the curb. I know. Stay tuned for the 10, 20, whatever

Starting point is 01:58:16 minute after show. After show. Thank you guys so fucking much on that note. We're going to end it. Dijon, where do we find you,

Starting point is 01:58:23 you beautiful son of a bitch? Uncle Dijon, TikTok, find you you beautiful son of a bitch Uncle Dijon TikTok Instagram Facebook going to be starting law and form content soon on YouTube and soon in America

Starting point is 01:58:31 exactly coming to an American state near you maybe in America yeah thank you so much for having us no thank you

Starting point is 01:58:39 it's my pleasure guys the beautiful hosts thank you for joining on another episode of unsubscribe we love you! Fuck off. What's the Spider-Man meme? Yeah. Everyone flip off the cameras.

Starting point is 01:58:51 Sorry. You are my You are my

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